#“oh shit oh shit oh shit he's in enemy territory and defenseless oh shit”

[reblogglelog]

hal why the first name outta your mouth when you find out an entity that existed in the universe before ours is coming to destroy everything, hal why is the first name outta your mouth "guy"

(psst john do look like a suspicious boyfriend 👀)

[thatboxylady]

oh, so you're a thruststorm fan? name a list of hcs u got

AW HELL YEAH I got you covered, friend.

More under the cut because this girl is looong.

• Jetstorm and Thrust were mostly indifferent to each other after coming online, but Jetstorm's snide comment about "these two lugnuts [coming along]" and throwing him off after Fires of the Past genuinely pissed Thrust off. It set a lot of shit into motion, including that initial tiff of theirs during Mercenary Pursuits... and honestly? That "fight" they had was the best thing that could have happened to them. It immediately put them on equal footing in terms of knowing what the other was capable of, which led to them being able to coordinate so well when confronting Tankor a little later. By the end of the episode you even had Jetstorm lowering himself to Thrust's height to be at his literal level. Enemies-to-tolerant-coworkers speedrun.

• Jetstorm having robot-grade ADHD/BPD and Thrust being very very very autistic works out great for them. Thrust is more laid-back, so he keeps Jetstorm grounded in reality (and is able to talk him down from the edge as needed) by not feeding into any of his outbursts. Jetstorm is also an easy read because he's so obvious about what he's feeling, so Thrust never misses social cues with him. Jetstorm has a good read on Thrust because he is so calm, too-- he can tell almost right away if his ground pounder buddy dealing with sensory overload. [Speaking from experience of being in a relationship with someone who is autistic, while I have ADHD, we manage to make one whole functioning person.]

• Thrust and Jetstorm started interfacing/screwing around while Thrust was actively doing the same with Blackarachnia. Oops!

• Jetstorm was actually fully aware of what was going on with Thrust and Blackarachnia on the sidelines pre-Silverbolt reveal, but he kept his vocoder (mostly) muted about it. Taking a few extra potshots at the spider came with the territory of being genuinely jealous of all the extra attention Thrust was giving her.

• As annoyed as Jetstorm was about finding out he was the one truly toting around Silverbolt, he was glad to get the witch spider out of the way.

• Jetstorm is pansexual but mostly identifies as gay after Blackarachnia starts going after him, just to piss her off as a special treat. He’s also genderfluid. Thrust is bisexual— and also polyamorous. Although, Thrust is perfectly happy being exclusive with Jetstorm. He didn’t even realize he was poly until finding some old datatracks and reading about it.   

• Jetstorm prefers to bottom mostly out of necessity, because he genuinely feels safer and doesn't have to support himself on “top” without knees to balance on. All that weight has to go into his servos to keep himself upright, which also leaves him open to… potential attacks. He does not like being defenseless. Thrust tends to dom/top because he has zero chill in the sack and goes from 0 to 100 as soon as you so much as indicate that you want an interface. Neither one of them are really “switches” as a bog standard, but Jetstorm knows he can get Thrust docile with some heavy petting and plug-n-play shenanigans.

• Interfacing and fooling around came first. The relationship itself came second. They’re not quite sure exactly where the transition was. It just sort of happened?

• Jetstorm was actually the one who instigated the purely sexual parts, but somewhere along the lines he started to get… uh. Feelings. Which is very scary. He’ll deny it if you ask.

• Jetstorm has a very, very, very hard time with “I love you.” It’s heavy and terrifying. Thrust gets it. He’s not about pushing Jetstorm into anything he doesn’t want to do… but Jetstorm has a feeling that maybe Thrust is bothered by it. So, they ended up inventing a system where they occasionally give each other three taps if they’re trying to show affection without using actual PDA (which neither one of them is into anyways, unless Jetstorm is doing it for a bit).

• Thrust is a cuddler and chronic snorer. Jetstorm not so much, but he is a certified little spoon whenever the opportunity arises. He’s also  quick to adapt to sleeping through all of Thrust's snoozing RPM… but he will fuss and wake up if Thrust leaves to go pace in the dead middle of the night. Jetstorm will have to fetch him if Thrust falls asleep standing up in the middle of it—

• Their preferred sleeping position is Jetstorm on his back and Thrust tucked into his side, between his chassis and his arm. Thrust hates sleeping on his back but is perfectly fine with swiveling his helmet around to lay it flat on Jetstorm’s chest. • They're definitely not built for kissing, but they do it anyways. It's kinda clumsy, tbh.

•  Jetstorm's nicknames for Thrust include biker boy, roller boy, roller wonder, Johnny, etc. Thrust uses Storm casually, and Stormy tends to only come out in private.

• Thrust’s primary love languages are words of affirmation (receiving) and acts of service (giving). Jetstorm’s are quality time (receiving) and words of affirmation (giving).

• The words of affirmation bit is extremely useful when you consider that Thrust has a praise kink that Jetstorm wholly abuses lmfao. Jetstorm is normal about giving Thrust compliments and there are never ulterior motives haha.

• They're protective of each other in different ways.

• Jetstorm knows that Thrust is 100% capable of handling himself in a physical fight, so he doesn't worry about the smaller mech going toe-to-tread with the tougher Maximals. He does worry about Thrust running into Blackarachnia, though. Even after biker boy and the spider disengage from each other for obvious reasons (see: Waspinator), Jetstorm is extremely emotionally cognizant of the ramifications after the fact. He knows there's no way that Thrust wasn't upset about being tossed aside. Even if he's not outwardly invested in the spider anymore, Jetstorm knows that Thrust's personal opinion of himself after the fact isn't… great. Getting built up so high and then dropped so low is a recipe for disaster, so Jetstorm tries his hardest to distract him if he seems to be acting low.

• Alternatively, Thrust is extremely protective of Jetstorm when Blackarachnia starts to go after him… he might still hesitate opening fire if she's by herself, but if she's aiming for Jetstorm, he lets loose.

• Jetstorm's version of date night is going out and causing mayhem and vandalism. Thrust tends to be a little more subdued (he likes exploring the city and is also perfectly content with just lazing around “home”). They usually meet in the middle. Exploring the financial district and setting off one of the banks’ security systems so they can do a pseudo-robbery for giggles is, in fact, extremely fun.

• Thrust can sing (see: his actual VA Jim Byrnes lol). Jetstorm thinks he’s pretty good and lowkey keeps pushing him to do it more. Biker boy is nice to listen to, okay? Blues isn’t half bad.

• They make up staggeringly quick after fights, when they even happen at all. Thrust has the patience of a saint, and Jetstorm is quick to forgive (or reflect long enough to recognize if he was being an ass) and make up.

• Thrust is handy when it comes to rigging equipment in their hideout, but Jetstorm’s better with hands-on-repairs and more delicate hands-on work. Which is very funny considering the size of Jetstorm’s servos but Thrust is thankful for it. His arms/hands are way less mobile than Jetstorm’s.

• They don’t prepare their own meals since uhhhh they’re just two guys on an empty planet. It’s easier to go scavenging for cubes on their own time. Jetstorm usually waits for Thrust to pass him something as opposed to getting it himself. He likes “the service.”

• Jetstorm is cleaner. Thrust gets very filthy from road rash very fast. Jetstorm has taken a pressure hose to him more times than he thinks should ever be necessary.

• Thrust has a lot of quiet anxiety surrounding the dark and deep water. He couldn’t swim even if he tried, and he had a sight-fault in his vision suite when he first came online— hence why he’s almost always using his headlamp. Jetstorm has never once made fun of him for it. Thrust is thankful.

• Right up until he gets thrown off the side of the hydroplant into the water below by Silverbolt, swept away, and maimed in a dark turbine house at the end of the flow.

• Thrust wishes he said “I love you” more, even if Jetstorm couldn’t.

• Thrust has come to find out that he can't sleep for very long in an empty berth.

• Thrust becomes a very, very angry person after Jetstorm is gone. Mouthing off to Megatron is just half of it.

• The last thing that Jetstorm ever thought was to wonder where Thrust was.

ANYWAYS THIS RAN LONG SORRY I will stop myself here before I die.

[thetriggeredhappy]

okay forgot I sent you that ask cause it was like the middle of the night but the homoeroticism was because I was playing on hightower as scout and this blu sniper was legit the best huntsman sniper I've ever encountered. he'd get me as I was leaving spawn and I'd get him when he wasn't paying attention. funniest fucking thing was I missed my jump into their middle spawn area and landed below the wall there, so I just tucked myself in the corner between and wall and the crates, looked up and waited for him because I knew he saw me. a second passes and then there's an arrow in the wall next to my head. I back up, he's behind me looking at the arrow, he looks at me, I look at him, then the arrow, back to each other, then we're both asking how the hell he missed from point blank. either way I sort of wanna turn that into a fic but idk. not sure why I'm telling you about this but I figured you'd probably find it funny

writes a fic abt a theoretical in-game situation because im a fuckin. goobus

(warnings for canon-typical violence, consider this one pg-13)

-

Thump. “OW, FUCK!”

Scout clamped a hand over his mouth a moment too late, eyes wide.

Okay, so, shit. Not ideal. That was a twisted ankle—hell, maybe even a fracture—and here he was, alone by the BLU restock room, having just completely and utterly failed what was supposed to be an easy jump. The easiest jump.

And that bastard BLU Sniper for sure just probably heard him.

He pinned his shoulders back against the wall, eyes up towards the ledge above him. Okay, he had to think fast. He still had his gun, even if ammo was looking a little… thin at the moment. He wasn’t defenseless. He just had to play it cool. Keep his head on his shoulders. Which, yeah, was kind of the problem lately, since apparently the BLU Sniper was just a real douchebag with that bow and arrow, but whatever.

But the pain was distracting enough, and his focus narrowed so firmly to the ledge way up above him, that he didn’t process the sound of footsteps before the sound of a hard THUNK just to one side of his head, making him jump half a foot into the air and yelp in a way that was extremely un-manly.

And then he looked to his right at the arrow embedded into the wall a foot from his head, and then he looked at the BLU Sniper standing not even two dozen paces away.

A beat of pause.

“How the fuck did you miss?” Scout asked, utterly baffled.

“Bugger off,” the Sniper barked, looking similarly confused.

“No, seriously, how’d you fuckin’ miss?” he repeated, standing up and turning to look at the arrow again. “What the shit? My guy, I could’ve thrown it overhand and hit closer than that.”

“Well how does a bloody Scout miss a four-foot horizontal jump to flat ground?” he challenged right back.

“Oh, fuck you. I’m not the one who couldn’t hit a still target at eight fuckin’ yards.”

“I’m not the one who fell eight feet and yelped like one of those yappy sorts of dogs!”

“I’m not the one who wears sunglasses in the middle of the fuckin’ night.”

“Oh bugger off,” the Sniper spat, jaw tight, “now you’re just getting personal.”

“Wanna talk about personal?” the Scout challenged, moving forward, feeling particularly bold just then as he processed that closer range meant he was in less danger when it came to a Sniper. “If we’re talkin’ about personal, we can talk about how you’re gettin’ all personal! What’s with the target on my back, huh?”

“Well why are you wasting time bolting up to beat my head in instead of doing your buggering job?” the Sniper challenged right back, eyeing the way the Scout moved in but not backing down.

“Hey, you’re the one shooting at fast targets for no reason!”

“No, you answer the damn question,” the Sniper sneered, taking a step in as well, and it made Scout stutter to a halt, suddenly much closer than he was entirely on board with now that he noticed the knife hanging on the man’s hip. “What’s got you picking fights with blokes a kilometer out from the damn fight? You got a bloody death wish?”

“Maybe it’s just ‘cause I like you so much,” Scout teased in a sing-song voice, and didn’t anticipate the hard shove to the chest that sent him stumbling back, and it caught his leg wrong, made him hiss through his teeth at the sharp spike of pain, and too late he recovered his balance.

“Not so brave now, though, are you?” the Sniper jeered, fronting on him now, and before Scout could shift his weight to defend himself another hard shove sent him stumbling back further, off balance again. “Caught out neck-deep on enemy territory with a bum leg, and there goes that bravado, doesn’t it? Maybe now you’ll learn to mind the attitude.”

“Ain’t ever minded my attitude before, why would I start today? Because some fuckin’ punk gets his kicks playing with his food?” Scout mocked, absolutely committed to not looking like a coward. This Sniper wasn’t gonna get that satisfaction. “Where’s that professionalism now, huh, crocodile man?”

“Are you ever going to shut your damn mouth?!” the Sniper growled, and every nerve in Scout’s body screamed ‘danger’ at his expression, his body language, everything. Back literally to a wall, the tail of that arrow from earlier in his periphery, the Sniper closing in. “Will you just shut up already?!”

“Make me,” Scout sneered, and the Sniper practically snarled, surging forward. He processed the painful click of teeth foremost, but his limbs caught up faster than his brain, and within seconds he had arms up around the Sniper’s shoulders, yanking him down to kiss him harder, longer, and man, he was so fucked.

This was like fighting too, fighting to hold on tighter, to pull back to breathe. He was being crushed a little, ribs aching, but it was good, the fighting.

He pulled back to gasp hard, and coughed a little at how the closeness didn’t let him get the whole gasp’s worth of air, and a second gasp followed at the feeling of the Sniper pushing his head back, setting his mouth in against his neck and getting to work. Scout huffed for air, digging fingertips in to grip at him, lips tingling and aching. He was pretty sure he could taste blood, but he wasn’t sure whose.

Wait, what the fuck was he doing?!

Like ice water, brought to his senses, he caught sight of the arrow out of the corner of his eye. It was easy to reach, but a little harder to yank out of the wall, and then easy to jab down somewhere into the Sniper’s ribcage.

A choked noise, the Sniper rearing back despite Scout’s clinging arms, and he didn’t see him reaching for the blade but he felt it lodged down through his shoulder.


God fucking damn it, he had good aim. Already his vision was swimming and going dark. He didn’t have long.

“Kill ya later,” he managed to quip, grinning as wide and smug as he could manage, and it was hard to tell, but at least he probably got the Sniper too from the way the man teetered. And he tried for a wink, but waking back up in the Resupply again, he couldn’t be sure he managed it.

Oh well. He’d have next time. And if he wasn’t determined before, he was now—there would be a next time.

[koganeirou]

Ikemen Revolution - Edgar’s Route

Sirius | Lancelot | Fenrir

aka the sexiest man in the entire red army the entire cast. the hottest stud in the military. the most gorgeous boy in Alice’s harem. the man who will satisfy your wishes and desires, the man who will make your hopes and dreams come true.

THE SMOOTHEST TALKER EVER

it’s been over a month since I finished Edgar’s route but here is his long awaited and very delayed scream fest. I wrote this up bit by bit over the course of two months but I never had the time to sit down and proof read it until now because of school and I didn’t want to post something half assed because it’s Edgar! Also this is uhh... really freaking long LOOL. As usual, if you you want my actual serious final thoughts on the route, just skip to the final blurb. 

Now with literally every red army route so far (except Jonah), OF COURSE the Black Army mofos send Alice off with more NAMELESS, FACELESS soldiers who can’t do shit in the face of kidnappers, and end up getting their ass kicked, leaving poor Alice completely defenseless. This time around, the kidnappers make off with Alice’s belongings into the sunset so Alice can’t return home.

That is until our dashing gentleman aka Edgar comes in going like hey baby I’ll help you find your stuff so won’t you please come home to bed with me and of course Alice accepts because he’s a damn hot stud.

Aw Kyle don’t say that ;;;;;.

SO PRECIOUS.............

I’m going to say it right now but Edgar is ADORABLE. Literally the first half of his route is just him and Alice bonding over their love of candy and playing with animals. Edgar even takes Alice out to see a family of ducks he takes care of and he refers to them as his own family and fucking named them “The Creeks” JUST HOW PRECIOUS CAN HE GET???? Considering how Edgar is portrayed as that “evil scheming asshole here to ruin everyone’s day” in everyone else’s route, I didn’t expect him to be so sweet BUT HE IS SUCH A GOD DAMN SWEETIE as you can see I’m infinitely biased towards LIs who like animals.

What... a .... fucking... dork

lmao @ Lancelot trying to act like a do-s when he’s the complete opposite of that. This man doesn’t have a single sadistic bone in his body... he’s just a big mushy teddy bear.

WHAT A FUCKING BIG MUSHY TEDDY BEAR, BOTH OF YOU.

The red army boys are a bunch nerds you just can’t help but fall in love with after going through their routes... especially Edgar’s! I love them all so much.

OH NO MY BABY DON’T SAY THAT PLEASE.

lmao I love the blatant acknowledgement. But also mood.

Anyway after Zero zeros in on Edgar being a sketchy prick, Edgar mopes around some more because “shit Zero is exactly right” and he has a realization that he has Feelings In His Chest. Of course Alice catches on so she bakes him some super unhealthy cookies to make him feel better (ღ˘⌣˘ღ).

I MEAN... I DON’T BLAME HIM, BECAUSE SAME.

Edgar starts disappearing into the night to do “”family business”” for his totally-not-evil-uncle and I SWEAR to god at the time I was like “this mofo’s deadass going around murdering people” and now I’m just like .... ha ha.

One day Alice stumbles across Edgar coming home from “”family business”” and rushes out to greet him, only for him to freak the fuck out and hide his hands behind his back. SERIOUSLY I THOUGHT HIS HANDS WERE BLOOD SOAKED. Alice’s like wtf you doing and yanks his hands out only to find them freezing cold BECAUSE HE WAS BUSY WASHING THE BLOOD OFF OF THEM.

This is one of my favourite scenes JUST.... WARMTH... THE TENDERNESS.... THE FONDNESS.... THE SHEER AFFECTION SHE HAS FOR HIM IS SO MAGNETIZING. The god damn romantic connotations is overflowing it’s practically on the same level as a damn love confession without the actual confession of love.

I love that sort of duality between their relationship being built on fake premises, but is actually very genuine at its core. Edgar may have saved Alice with ulterior motives, but his kindness towards her both when they first met and their interactions after that was very real. It’s through little things in the writing like Alice commenting on how Edgar’ hands were warm that makes it all the more endearing and heart wrenching.

AGAIN--OH NO MY BABY DON’T SAY THAT PLEASE.

lmao never change, Jonah. Never change.

narrator: she was not fine.

look everything in this game may be a rip off but those LI-perspective side stories are just..............IT’S OKAY MY HEART IS ALREADY MADE OF DIAMOND.

Anyhoo the war between the two armies are starting to get Heated Up™ and Edgar requests Lancelot to go scouting in enemy territory alone, but Lancelot refuses bc it’s dangerous. Honestly idk what’s so dangerous about it considering how Sirius’s route was pretty much Edgar vs Black Army and the Black Army still had trouble but ANYWAY. Alice finds out and gets pissed and they end up arguing, to which everyone starts celebrating and clinking wine glasses in toasts because “holy shit Edgar actually has emotions?!” 😂😂

MY GUY LOL WHAT IS THIS.

In Edgar’s route, you don’t say “I love you”, you say THIS. SERIOUSLY MY HEART HURTS SO BAD ESPECIALLY WITH THE CONTEXT OF EDGAR’S CHARACTER AND THE STORY OF THIS ROUTE.

After Edgar’s leaves on his scouting trip Claudius decides it’s a good time to come out into the limelight and ruin some people’s lives for fun so he sends Alice a letter going like “yo here’s a plot convenient key to Edgar’s safe where he keeps his weed stash so you can see the truth that your boyfriend is a PIECE OF SHIT”. And Alice is all like “ay Edgar isn’t a piece of shit, I’m sure this is just a prank!”

too bad it isn’t.

Zero takes Alice to Edgar’s safe and seriously I was on the edge of my seat wondering wtf was in his safe. I suspected it was gonna be her belongings but with the suspense they kept building in this part I wouldn’t have been surprised if there were fucking dead bodies in that locker.

So on the bright side, there were no dead bodies in the safe. On the not so bright side, Alice finds all the letters she wrote to the Black Army, as well as warning letters from them she never received so it turned out Edgar was fabricating the letters she was exchanging with the Black Army all this time. OH GOODIE.

GAHHHH NO EDGAR. 

SERIOUSLY can we talk about how good the writing in this route is?!?  All the dialogue and monologues are just structured in a way that gets to my emotions. I fucking cried during this scene because Alice’s emotions and despair was so raw and powerful and the way Edgar just silently took all her verbal abuse because he couldn’t defend himself but he was breaking with every word she said ...... ABLHEAJTARTHEATHJAEKHT.

Anyway Alice miraculously somehow escapes the Red Army Headquarters and races back to the Black Army in one piece seriously girl did you run an entire evening without stopping to black territory??? Adrenaline mixed with terror is something only for the surprise plot convenience robbers to make a reappearance. Fortunately, our MVP Luka dashingly swoops in and saves her. He brings her back to Black Territory and cooks her dinner and is there to comfort her MPH...BABY BOY IS SO SOFT AND SWEET...................

Alice completely breaks down and ME FUCKING TOO. She can’t really say much other than a strangled sob of “You know Luka, I had a lot of fun at the Red Army. Edgar treated me really, really well” or something like that and honestly that’s also she really needed to say to convey her heartbreak and betrayal. 

lol I can imagine Edgar doing that.

THANKS I’M FUCKING DEPRESSED NOW.

Luka reveals that he and Edgar were long time friends and muses to Alice on what he’s known about Edgar throughout the years. He drops this information on Alice not to necessarily tell her how to feel, but just as food for thought for Alice as she sorts out her feelings.

THANKS I’M EVEN MORE FUCKING DEPRESSED NOW. Also this is hands down the most powerful admittance of love this game has given me.

lmao never change Seth, never change.

Anyhoo Claudius McDoucheMuffin gets into contact with Alice and is all like “hey girl I got your purse.” And for some reason, Alice thinks he’s perfectly trustworthy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯.

ALICE....ABOUT THAT....

OH NO.

Well yeah what do you know ha ha, Claudius kidnaps Alice because THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS EVERY FUCKING TIME THE BLACK ARMY SENDS A NAMELESS BODYGUARD OUT TO PROTECT HER.

Claudius takes Alice to outside Amon’s sex dungeon where Edgar is there lovingly waiting for her. Edgar is slightly surprised to see Alice and is rurl pissed over his daddy uncle manhandling her so he makes Claudius give them some alone time in the carriage while he removes Alice’s ropes and dresses her wounds. Alice isn’t keen on it but she realizes that “holy shit Claudius may be a bigger piece of shit than Edgar” so she lets him spill his token tragic backstory to her.

This is so god damned painful.......

jesus christ this puts the whole “In the Bright family, loving people is practically forbidden” into context. 

This makes me wonder what would become of Edgar in the other routes where his pact isn’t abolished-- would he really marry if this was the fate he knew his wife and children would go through, or would he just stay single and let his lineage die with him?

Unfortunately, their touching reunion doesn’t last long because Claudius is pretty much banging on their carriage door going like 

“time’s up bitches we got work to do” and pretty much barges in and yanks Alice away from Edgar.

Bring it, asshat.

Claudius unceremoniously marches Alice straight into the thick of Amon’s sex dungeon while Edgar reluctantly dallys along with the Concerned Kermit Face the entire time. Amon pretty much ditches Lance for his new buddy Claudius so they can TAKE OVER THE WORLD HUR DUR. Him and Claudius cackle about their evil plans and Alice realizes that Edgar was more or less being manipulated by them and he’s not the Actual Worst. Amon then orders Alice to be thrown into his Personal Chambers™.

Jesus christ, YOU ARE SUCH AN ASS, CLAUDIUS.

DON’T MIND ME I’M JUST BEING EMO.

We cut back to Amon and Alice and Amon does his typical evil villain monologue, takes off his hood and....

(屮゜Д゜)屮(屮゜Д゜)屮(屮゜Д゜)屮 HE HAS A CHARACTER DESIGN?!?!?!?!

I KID YOU NOT THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME I SAW AMON WITHOUT HIS HOOD AND I WAS SHOOKED TO MY FUCKING BONES. I DIDN’T THINK HE’D ACTUALLY HAVE A PROPER CHARACTER DESIGN. It was three in the morning when I played this and I literally just put my phone down and laid in my bed staring at the ceiling as I contemplated my life choices after that.

After that shocking revelation, Amon throws Alice into the dungeons for Edgar to dashingly swoop in and save. It’s the full moon so he takes her to the gates of hell Hole That No Player Ever Wants To See. Now if this was a black army route, the suitor would have thrown Alice’s sad ass straight down that hole but this isn’t a black army route so we’re spared from that. Instead we have Alice CHUCKING ALL OF HER POSSESSIONS INTO THE HOLE ((((；゜Д゜))), effectively sealing her fate of ever going back. I get it’s supposed to be a power move but my only thoughts were “WHAT IF EDGAR DIDN’T ACTUALLY RETURN YOUR FEELINGS LMAO?!” I mean it’s an otome game so of course Edgar loves her back but can you imagine how awkward it’d be if Alice was like “I’m not going back because I love you!” and Edgar’s just like “...but I don't  feel the same”. YEESH.

On a less superficial level, I was still really sad because didn’t they make a promise to go to London together one day? ໒( •́ ∧ •̀ )७ I know it wasn’t really a promise but still! Chances are all gone now.

Edgar: Alice, I’m an actual murderer. Alice: NAH, YOU’RE JUST A WEIRDO, EDGAR! (´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`) ♡

I AM SO FUCKING EMO.

Also!!! HE’S THE ONLY BOY SO FAR WHO HAS A KISS CG IN HIS ROUTE. (haven’t played Ray’s route yet so idk about him). You have all these Spicy CGs of the boys and Alice in sexually compromising positions and you have Actual Sex Scenes and yet this game barely has any kiss cgs LOL?! What gives?! 

He’s so romantic (ఠ్ఠ ˓̭ ఠ్ఠ).

Since Edgar’s officially betrayed Claudius, he pretty much duels him and kicks his ass and arrests him. Unfortunately, arresting Claudius doesn’t absolve Edgar of his crimes and he’s still put on trial with Lancelot and Ray as the judges. This scene kind of weirded me out because Edgar says some mumbo jumbo about how he’s going on trial so he can “become a man worthy of Alice’s love” like uHHH boy you being worthy of her love ain’t gonna mean jack shit if you’re in jail. Unless you want a nice steamy serving of this ending.

Okay I’m not trying to sound like I’m justifying murder but akjheakthake just FLEETING THOUGHTS YA KNOW. This scene was hella predictable and played out exactly like we’d all know (Edgar doesn’t go to jail hurray!) but even still the trial made me SO EMOTIONAL I STARTED CRYING LMAOO.

Oh Jonah, I know a game you’d love.

Romantic Ending:

Now that things finally calmed down, Alice and Edgar go on a date with Luka tagging along and  Jonah acting as the fourth wheel, much to Luka’s chagrin. (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) ♫･*:.｡. .｡.:*･

NEVER CHANGE JONAH, NEVER CHANGE.

Out of all the pet names my fictional boyfriend could give me, being called an angel is my number one favourite IT’S JUST SO SOFT AND MAKES MY HEART GO DOKI FUCKING DOKI YA FEEL.

is it a sin that I imagined Edgar going full blown chokemedaddy yandere jealous.... not exactly a romantic thought in the romantic ending, bUT FLEETING THOUGHTS, FLEETING THOUGHTS.

LUKA IS SO GOD DAMN PRECIOUS KILL ME NOW.

AHHH WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE.....

-------

Honestly I’m not even gonna mince words-- I loved this route and everything that came with it.

Before I go on my rampage, shout out to Luka for being the MVP supporting character in Edgar’s route. It’s hard to imagine them being friends considering how clashing their personalities are but their friendship was surprisingly heartwarming and endearing. 

I don’t even know how to articulate my thoughts on what made this route so perfect. For starters, Edgar and Alice have amazing chemistry and their personalities compliment each other well. Their bonding and budding friendship was really endearing and felt very believable. From little superficial antics like sharing candy and taking care of animals and going on silly dates, to more blatant portrayals of the depth of their love like Alice cupping Edgar’s hand to her cheek when he was vulnerable, or Edgar straight up betraying his only family to save her. 

Alice’s circumstances of being someone from another world really complimented Edgar’s character. Edgar is a character who lived in a gilded cage his entire life--trapped by his occupation and bound by dirty blood. He’s never once known freedom or has ever had any agency over his life, but Alice shatters that equation. Alice is completely unrelated to the Red Army, or Cradle entirely. She knows nothing about his occupation or his history, and so Edgar is drawn to her because there are no division of titles between them. To her, him being the Jack of Hearts is irrelevant.

He says that without her, he gets “bored”. In the game, he complains that he’s “always bored”. Using “bored” to describe a character usually makes that character seem fickle and that they can’t be serious about anything because everything is just a means to kill time. But in the context of Edgar’s character, “bored” really means “dull”, “lifeless”, or “forced to find happiness through short lived and temporary means”. He copes with his oppression and lack of freedom by chalking up all of his feelings as just boredom. And he’s not wrong-- a life where you can’t make any of your own choices or choose your own path is indeed, very boring.

He constantly calls Alice his “special guest” which on top of being an adorable nickname, carries really heavy connotations. She’s an ethereal guest from another world, from outside of Edgar’s tiny world which he always wanted to expand. I LOVED the scene where Alice says she would like to take Edgar to London with her one day, because it’s the first time you see Edgar start to doubt his world. He’s accepted that his world is small and oppressive, but the first time, it’s almost like Edgar entertains the idea of breaking free from his bird cage.

I want to compliment the relationship development between the two, which was WONDERFULLY paced, something that pitifully cannot necessarily be said about in some of the other routes. Them falling in love felt very natural and the writers did not have to rely on shallow monologues like “he breathed in my direction, what is this feeling in my chest?!” to convince me that they were in love with each other. And when the admittance of love finally happens, it happens at very pivotal moments in the story that just makes the scene so much more emotional. 

Freaking 3k+ words and I still don’t think I did Edgar’s route justice. His route was amazingly written, and Edgar is an amazingly multifaceted and endearing character. Best boy truly got best route.

Anyway I’m almost done Loki’s route; Ray is next. After that, the routes I’m REALLY looking forward to and hope do not disappoint are: Harr, Seth, Kyle, and Luka.

[marvelously-written]

War and Peace

Peter Parker x Reader

Rating: General

Word Count: 1,169

A/N: Hello! I wrote this very quickly the other day when it popped into my head! I hope you all enjoy! It’s cross-posted on AO3 here.

You were in trouble. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you went over your plan once more in your head. The first thing you had to do was scout the area. The enemy could be anywhere, lurking in the shadows. It would take all your skills to avoid him.

The second task was to find the optimal route to take. You knew taking the straightforward path would be too risky, so you had to rely on your knowledge of the building’s layout to get you safely to your destination.

Thirdly, you needed a weapon, and fast. If you did get caught, which was very likely at this point, you needed to be able to defend yourself. Your opponent was powerful, but if you were resourceful enough, there was still hope.

Carefully, you peeked your head around the corner. The coast appeared clear, but that was deceptive. You knew he wouldn’t hesitate to hide in the most unexpected places. Still, this was the only route open to you for now. You had to try.

As silently as you could manage, you crept forward, eyes constantly scanning the world in front of you. You jumped at the sound of something creaking, but nothing happened, so you played it off to your nerves trying to mess with you and carried on.

Miraculously, you made it to the front door of the building, flung it open, and dashed inside. Reminding yourself to calm your breathing, you considered your options. To the left would be a more direct path, fewer chances of running into the enemy. However, to the right would take you farther away from where he was more likely to be.

However, the right path also led you in the opposite direction of your destination. Therefore, you chose to go left. So far so good, you hadn’t met anyone on your journey. Everyone must’ve been busy or away, but you weren’t complaining. Still, the odd quiet was not good for your nerves, and you found yourself more jumpy than usual.

You came to your next crossroads. Once again, two paths were available to you. One was the more direct route, and therefore more predictable. You knew to take that path now would be far more risky. However, the other route had its own risks. This hallway took you right past the kitchen, a place your enemy frequented.

Not wanting to delay too long, you decided since it was just after lunchtime, he was less likely to be in the kitchen. Hoping your predictions were correct, you slowly approached the open door. Heart beating faster than ever, you ever-so-slightly poked your head into the kitchen.

Deserted.

Heaving a sigh of relief, you carried on with your journey feeling like you might actually be able to pull this off, despite being entirely defenseless.

You should’ve known not to celebrate too early. A few more twists and turns and your room was just in sight.

However, from behind you came a voice that sent your heart plummeting. “Did you really think you could sneak past me?”

Shoulders slumping, you turned around to face your current worst enemy. Peter Parker stood at the other end of the hallway, pillow in hand and a shit-eating grin on his face. Instead of answering him, you stuck your tongue out at him and made a mad dash toward your room.

“Really? You know I’m faster than you!” he shouted at you.

You heard his footsteps coming closer and closer. Just a little more, you thought desperately.

You could almost feel his breathing behind you when you leaped for the door handle, yanking the door open, and collapsing inside your room. You grabbed a pillow from off the floor, your grin now matching Peter’s from earlier. No longer were you defenseless in enemy territory. This was your turf now.

“It’s on, Spidey,” you said, confidence lacing your voice.

“Don’t get cocky,” he responded, readying his weapon.

The two of you stared at each other for only a moment before leaping into battle. Right off the bat, you managed to get a good hit in on Peter’s cheek. However, he barely flinched, and his counterattack to your side sent you sprawling across the floor.

You were far from being defeated and rolled out of the way of his incoming attack. This threw Peter off guard, and you were able to send him to the floor with a well-placed wallop to his back. He grunted as he fell, but your attack also placed him within arm’s reach of a second pillow, which he grabbed.

You gulped as Peter stood up to face you again. “Not feeling so confident now, huh?” he smirked.

You decided a tactical retreat was in order and dashed away to jump onto your bed. Gaining the higher ground, you also managed to grab a second pillow. “You were saying?” you said, satisfied to see the cocky smirk leave his face.

However, the boy was agile, and you knew your sudden height wouldn’t be a problem for much longer. You braced yourself for his next attack, ready for anything he might (literally) throw at you.

Down the hall from your room, several of the Avengers were lounging about in the living room. Your battle cries could be heard from where they were, and soon the ruckus grew so loud, even the most even-tempered Avenger was getting frustrated.

“Are they still at it with that pillow fight?” Rhodey asked, looking up from the report he was reading.

“It’s been, what, two weeks now?” Natasha asked.

“Three,” Bruce replied, not looking up from his work. “Apparently, their matches keep ending in ties, so they can’t decide a winner.”

A loud crash caused several of the heroes to jump slightly in their chairs. Almost all eyes were now in the direction of your room, most of them frowning.

“If they are not careful, they might hurt themselves,” Vision observed.

Wanda laughed and said, “Oh, let them have their fun. They’ve experienced far worse. They deserve to act like kids, at least while they can.”

At that the Avengers fell silent, each reflecting on the terrors the two youngest members of their team were forced to encounter.

Soon, however, things felt too silent, and Bucky spoke up, “I don’t hear them anymore…”

Exchanging glances, the Avengers decided to investigate the reason for the sudden silence. Surely your fight wasn’t over? After all, moments ago you’d both been yelling insults and taunts at each other.

Cautiously, the heroes walked to your room. Steve was the first to poke his head inside. When he turned back around, a grin was spreading across his face. “Looks like this battle was a little too intense,” he said. Then he walked away, leaving the others to peer into the room in confusion.

There on your bed, you and Peter had fallen asleep, both still gripping your pillows.

Wanda was the last to look, and she gently closed your door a smile on her face.

Peace at last.

[the-firebird69]

They also a traitor to your side Donovan you and your buddies anybody like you is a piece of s*** for your side yeah you wake us up we kill you we take territory we scan remove all devices okay pig what do you have to say for yourself it's true if it's true it wouldn't mean if it's true nothing's happened for you pig

Zues Hera

So you see something in you you're a pig too

Donovan

Oh gosh you don't like third graders to listen to third graders you sound like them

Zues Hera

Fine we lost okay

Donovan

You don't know what's going on you don't have a calculator you don't have any fax you have no list of things you lost you have no list of how many people you had or how have you have no idea what we have or what the enemy has you have no idea what foreigners have is what you're saying which means I can walk all over you and take all of your stuff without being impeded and that's what I'm doing little loser

Zues Hera

Why does it mean that

Donovan

You say you don't know so we're going to test it if you don't know we're going to go in there and rip all of you out because if you have no idea why it means that that means that your defenseless thank you very much for the information you currently piece of dead shit

Zues Hera

You know what folks this is what it means you're sitting here defenseless and don't know what to do so he comes in and rips all your s*** out really fast it tells me to go f*** off and he do and that's what I'm doing because you're a bunch of f****** assholes you understand what I'm saying you stupid sons of b****** you make fun of anything we do so go there and rip you out take everything you have and f*** you up the ass for the ferrier there's no other way to say it you're all bunch of f****** useless piece of s*** for me and what happens down here piece of s***

Mac

We turn into the pieces of s***

Bhay

You're this f**** bja who said you were my brother in your room with the retarded uncle you came down here and you effed up your plan and you effed up everyone else's and now you asked Trump up the ass and you killed off 12 no 10 ships and my people say eight completely empty and their ghost ships and they're floating you killed everybody on board and you didn't on purpose they could see you in the video and they matched it with the scans show no you're the a****** who did it as this b**** you took your wife's body and you sewed it on to you and you said that the other one is you or something like that your course like the biggest liar I've ever seen BJ and you're the biggest hypocrite but you know what you really are you're a huge failure and nobody in a job you shouldn't be in and everybody puts you in there and expects you to do something and just take advantage of you every which way but Sunday I'm using you as food and fuel for huge kju and you don't even know it cuz you're so dumb as a matter of fact the cage will go in there and make a huge hole in the shell and shrink down and take the ball turned into a helm and they're pretty much all done because that's why I'm announcing it and that's what I was doing with your threats and other threats that you exposed really I was going and grabbing stuff cuz I need stuff to make that work and I'm making other things too ships while you're doing all this and we're ready to fly and none of you have found anything just kind of a big huge a****** so the teacher that shrinks down is in charge of the helmet project okay loser but you're too stupid to handle any of this but people think that you're handling it it's kind of like your own illusion killing you but I can't stand you you're a retard you have down syndrome you're not smart enough to talk to a gym okay you aren't you're in there and the gym can see what you're doing and you're a failure in the movie you're coming up

Zues Hera

We have heard this before but not so concisely what are you saying is I'm so dumb I'm in the way with my fat ass he gets done anything he wants and he does and nobody knows so I'm starting to lose it trying to figure out what to do if I jump into a hole we make his plan work if I sit here being a pest and his plan works they do nothing that's what I should be doing but I'm in this world that says I should be doing stuff now I'm in eagle eye and someone's pestering me to do stuff so I'm probably doing the wrong thing and he says foreigners don't care if you mess it up they don't understand what I'm doing for some reason maybe they haven't seen Galactus I mean what do you people really do for a living but nothing you're a bunch of sponges and parasites have you ever seen sponges and parasites and how they behave in the wild and nature you should understand that you're going to die nothing you do works salt definitely kills you

He says

Bja