#“my sweet” HAVE MERCY IM JUST A SIMPLE GAY
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On thin ice am I?
Is it because you're melting, my sweet? Do I make you that hot and bothered?
Not to worry, even if the ice melts I'll be there to catch you. You've claimed me as yours so it's only fair that you're mine after all, and I take good care of what's mine <3
You're seriously tempting me to contact you without anon though. Maybe I will~
- Valentine
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Yeah I can't even write in the main post for this one-
#VALENTINE WHAT THE FUCK I-#IM SCREAMING#PANIC#OMG#...............................maybe......#LMFAAAAOOOO#“my sweet” HAVE MERCY IM JUST A SIMPLE GAY#YOURS???????? YOURS???????????#YOUR WHAT#HUH#WHAT#HANG ON#HOLD ON NOW#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#YOURS??????????????#DO IT RN COWARD#REVEAL YOURSELF AND ANSWER FOR YOUR CRIMES#if you want to stay an anon on the blog tho that's ok#im only genuinely curious to know who you are in a private setting#I have no interest in exposing who's been sending these asks and being a SMUG LITTLE RAT- on the blog unless you wanna reveal yourself#in that way#BUT COME FORTH YOU FUCKING MENACE#ANSWER!!!!!!!!#also why do you send asks so late#time difference?
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LET THERE BE ANARCHYYYY
I can’t make like video essays and continuously make threads on twitter and bc of that I am deciding to ramble about my fav things if I’m not posting art bc ay no word limit so FUCK IT WE RAMBLING ABT ANARCHY BAYBEE
The one game that never leaves my mind and the one that inspired my latest username so lets just talk abt real quick :D
When I was in middle school I would get into a good chunk of things like anime, other games. Bc I didn’t have certain systems like most ppl I would just watch gameplays and cutscenes for them in get into them that way. I stumble across a game called MadWorld and immediately become OBSESSED, the style of black & white with the only color splattered everywhere is RED MWAH BEAUTIFUL MY LITTLE BRAIN WAS EXPLODING and not too long after that I learned that there was a continuation of sorts for it...Anarchy Reigns. You know how you take like your ocs and put them in like a whole ‘nother universe, kinda like an au situation yeah that’s what Anarchy Reigns is GBSJDNJF It’s post post-apocalyptic, chaotic and just hell of a lot fun to just look at. But the main charm of it is the characters themselves and how fun and unique they are just in design alone
While the game isn’t story heavy it still has a plot to follow that works imo! Now you’re probably asking (probably not but) “BUN! This looks cool, but why after so many years as a grown ass man are you still so obsessed with a game you didn’t even get to play?” And to that I say....it’s bc of him-
YES ITS BC IM GAY FOR THIS MAN N HE’S THE BLUEPRINT FOR MY ATTRACTION TWORDS FICTIONAL MEN
Visually his design and how big he is (7′2 LOR D HAVE MERCY), his overall design, how expressive he is, hIS CHAINSAW ARM GOD ITS ALL SO DAMN GOOD!!!!!! In MadWorld he’s passed off as this cold-blooded killer bad ass which is sexy as fuck but in AR they give him more depth by giving him a daughter, Stella, and we see a softer, more kind side to him only to see him lose his daughter and through the campaign he runs on grief and rage wanting to get revenge on the bastards that took the one thing that he cared for. THE CAN’T EVEN SMOKE ANYMORE BC STELLA DIDN’T LIKE HIM SMOKING N ITS AAAAAAAAAUGH It’s something that comes off as simple but still just sweet and sad at the same time.
And again the other characters are really good as well but just none of them hit me as hard as Jack did bc of this development he got and if we ever got more content for this game I woulda loved to see it for other characters BUT it’s long gone AGHBDJD. As much as I want platinum to bring it back I know they won’t bUT I CAN STILL DREAM DAMNIT...just hoping they don’t mess it up as Bayo3 bc lord that is a whole nother can of worms for another day. BUT ANYWAY Anarchy Reigns overall has a near and dear place in my heart and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t one of the many things that inspires me as an artist, I miss this shit so damn much and still crossing my fingers for something, if not the AR or MW then...just something of Jack PLATINUM PLEASE-
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ok well since im Thinking about it now lemme just make a huge ass masterpost of my tmavrai au bc im stupid lmao (also i wanna get into using this blog for more than art since this is my main)
buckle up cowboys this is gonna be lengthy
ok so to start off, it’s a kind of fusion au. some tma characters are replaced with hlvrai characters, and some just exist on their own. for example, elias is replaced with gman, but jon and gordon both coexist together
speaking of jon and gordon, they’re both eye avatars and co-archivists of the magnus archives. gman fucked up a little bit while filing shit but its fine, its fine. they’re both fit for the job.
tommy, darnold, and coomer work at the institute in various departments, along with tim, martin, and barney. tim and tommy have been best friends for years and live together as roommates, and darnold’s another one of their closest friends. coomer and martin just chill there, and barney likes to talk to gordon a lot. tommy brings sunkist over a lot, who everyone loves
since his dad is basically the head avatar of the eye, tommy asked him one time how to make a dog and gman, because that’s his little boy, told him how. now there’s an immortal entity soup dog that’s way too big to be normal. but that just means she has more love in her :)
jon and gordon kinda tolerate each other at first, being forced to record in the same area, but they tend to... tune into each other a lot. they sometimes read statements in unison, even if one of them isn’t looking at the statement. they take turns speaking in dialogue parts if need be, and they dont really notice it.
eventually prentiss attacks and gordon notices something... off about their coworker benrey. wait- wasn’t his name barney? no, he was probably remembering wrong. but something about benrey is just... weird. he cant put his finger on it, and jon has no input.
so yea benrey is a not-them and a stranger entity, and they just kinda chill in the archives and check ppls passports at the door. its also pretty fun harrassing feetman, especially when they can just pop in and out of michael’s doors bc they’re friends with the spiral. unknowing goes well, as you can assume ;w;
after they find gertrude’s body in the tunnels, several cops get called in. basira and daisy come over, supplying jon with tapes, but daisy brings her old high school/college friend forzen, who’s in the military. and yea they’re both hunt avatars. it was simple and obvious don’t blame me. he hunts ppl down by having beyblade competitions then shooting them. standard stuff.
tommy had gotten claimed by the slaughter years back, but now its really starting to take effect. coomer, local end avatar, isn’t much help, as he doesn’t exactly view death as a problematic thing and even compliments tommy on his kills. during jon and gordon’s comas, forzen goes rogue (instead of burying himself like daisy) and tommy goes after him, trying to mercy kill any victims he has his sights set on. its a body count contest at that point
bubby takes the place of agnes montegue, but still alive and not as hostile to the main cast. obv bc coomer’s there and i love me some gay grampas. yea bubby’s kinda forsaking his desolation cult thing but he’s fine. he just goes and chills at the archives a lot to get with coomer
after the unknowing, things go to shit. martin and benrey close themselves off, both allying themselves with peter lukas, to defend the institute and its workers. tommy and darnold are heartbroken after tim’s death, and tommy, unable to deal with living alone without tim or living in his dad’s house (who’s in prison now), moves in with darnold. its angst central babeyyy
darnold, basira, alyx, georgie, and melanie start a group chat called “babysitting the avatars squad” since they’re the only humans left allied to the institute or its workers. they vent about shit their avatars do bc good lord they can do some weird shit sometimes. oh also alyx and georgie are cousins here bc i feel like its funny that both gordon’s and jon’s childhood friends are related and no one knew dfgshgfgsfghgfrsbfsxg
for the last thing im gonna cover bc im tired and i dont want to type anymore is that joshua definitely exists and oh boy it gets fun in the apocalypse. he runs around and plays around with all the domains with tommy and benrey and the other three are way too tired to deal with this. he just wants to give daddy a flower! ignore the eyeball, it’s just a normal flower! how... sweet.
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—the (un)holy cock-up (m.)
⟶ pairing: park jimin/reader
⟶ genre: smut, angst
⟶ word count: 14.5k
⟶ warnings: explicit sexual content, oral sex (m receiving), dirty talk, profanity, unnecessary amount of biblical puns, some critic on catholic church, this is a heavy read be aware
⟶ summary: there is a quite long list of circumstances, with student loan and rent on the very top of it, that led you to work in the sunday’s spirit editorial department, a newspaper overally known among fellow catholic community of busan, with park jimin as your boss.
when your small cock-up goes unnoticeably out of your hand, you find yourself in a situation painted in all shades of wrong.
or, alternatively: when it’s forbidden, it tastes bittersweet.
a/n: please, before you read this: take the warnings seriously. this is not a light read, it touches some heavy and quite controversial topics. tit also involves a scene where a person in charge exhibits inappropriate behavior towards their subordinate which I do not condone, however it’s all done with consent.
ps. im really proud of this work so give me some love please:(
Fingertips typing furiously on the keyboards, sights focused on the computers’ screens, brows furrowed, minds utterly concentrated and all of this accompanied by angelic voices of various religious songs playing in the background.
This is how a typical day at Sunday’s Spirit editorial department goes by.
The newspaper is a local source of information for the catholic community not only in the city of Busan, but in the whole country. Its history starts in 70s, when Park Min-Sung with his wife started publishing the very first version of the Sunday’s Spirit, selling copies in front of churches. Young activists definitely hadn’t anticipated such a big success, especially due to hard times of the military dictatorship in Korea, but two decades later they have become one of the most affluent families in Busan. The newspaper remains the Park’s legacy till these days, being owned by Min-Sung’s son, with the original founder’s grandson Jimin as an editor-in-chief.
Sometimes you ponder how did you end up in this kind of situation. Sitting at your desk with eyes glued to the screen, working for the catholic newspaper with Mary did you know and other holy songs playing from the Spotify’s Blessed Hits playlist.
First of all, you aren’t quite a Jesus stan yourself. Not a regular churchgoer, Bible reader or a person who lives according to God’s will with Ten Commandments written on your heart and soul.
Someone may wonder, what a young, aspiring journalist like you is doing here? Yes, that’s right.
Money is the reason.
The perspectives of wealthy life as a presenter in the national television or a host in the radio were just a mirage, because after receiving your master degree in journalism you realised that, unfortunately, a bright future was bright only in your unreal dreams.
The case was simple. You needed money. Your bank account was literally screaming at you to get your shit together and figure something out before you end up under the bridge. So you started searching for a job, looking over various offers on the Internet for two weeks straight. A waitress? Nah, too clumsy for that. Jewelry seller? Definitely not, since you are a happy owner of a few pairs of earrings from etsy-like online shop that certainly have nothing to do with real gold. You were almost convinced you’re destined to be a sexworker but then you stumbled upon an offer from the Sunday’s Spirit.
It was your chance. A God himself decided to take pity on you.
In that exact moment the genre of the newspaper wasn’t important. The vision of bankruptcy was enough for you to wear knee-length black skirt, white button-up shirt and a pair of high heels you’ve never worn before and go on a job interview with plastered smile on your face, looking delightful like you have just given birth to Jesus Christ in Bethlehem.
All the Hollywood actresses could be put into shame after your Oscar-winning performance you acted out on the interview in front of middle-aged woman in checked jacket that no one wears since 90s. Your enthusiasm and assurance you live good, catholic woman’s life, along with your master degree and motivational letter (you added a quote from The Letter to Philipians at the end of it to spice it up) was enough to be accepted for the position of Ask and you shall find column creator.
The job itself wasn’t complex or tough. The newspaper on its online site has a page where people can create an account and send asks to the author of the column who responds to them. You did something wrong and you aren’t sure it should be considered a sin? Having problems with regular praying on mornings and evenings? Write to us and we will solemnly help you with the God’s blessing, it says.
This is basically how it works. Each week, the said journalist chooses the most interesting questions and answers to make an article to the Sunday’s Spirit’s next publication. Of course, you can’t answer those questions the way you would like. You must do it according to the catholic laws and God’s plan (the True God’s plan, not Drake’s). A woman who interviewed you even gave you a notebook full of already made-up responses and a list of things you definetely mustn’t write if you still want to be employed.
To be completely frank, you don’t hate your job that much. You actually feel kind of nice, helping other people with their problems. You’ve been doing this for six months now and during this period of time you got used to some things.
A ‘Jesus, I trust you’ framed picture you swore your mother gave you on your 16th birthday standing on your desk. Holy beats blasting through the speakers until you leave the office at 5pm. A big-ass cross hanging right in front of the entrance to the editorial. Lee Chin-sun, the Weekly News column author, rushing to Park Jimin’s bureau every day at different hours in her pencil skirts and high heels knocking on the floor.
There’s only the Pentecost in the middle of the office that could actually surprise you.
“Looks like our Mary Magdalene is going to Jesus cave again,” mutters Kim Taehyung, the newspaper’s main photographer, friend from your desk and, actually, the only friend you have here. Very much gay and just like you, in desperate need for money. “It’s her third visit today. I wonder what it is this time. New prayer to Pope Francis she found?” he whispers and you chuckle at that quietly, looking around if anyone pays attention to your conversation, but everyone seems busy doing their own stuff. “Maybe she’s sucking his dick right now and we all think they are playing Who said it? Bible edition,” he adds in a hushed tone.
You start thinking about it for a while. Is that really possible for someone like Park Jimin, the editor-in-chief of the Sunday’s Spirit to have a sexual relationship with his coworker? The man who has a smaller version of Pietà in his office?
“I mean look at him. I would smash that ass too.”
You roll your eyes at Taehyung words, going back to your previous task but every time you try to concentrate, the face of your boss appears in front of your eyes uncontrollably.
Truth to be told, Park Jimin was a sight.
Blond hair, always perfectly styled and simply parted in the middle, revealing his forehead. Dark, sharp eyes that seem to pierce right through your soul and full, plump lips which could only be described as kissable.
He wears only high fashion brands, wandering through the office in Prada and Tom Ford suits that hugs his sculpted body just right. You think that as for a person who never misses Sunday’s mass, Park Jimin has also nice thighs. And a fine piece of ass, as Taehyung would describe it.
Newest Rolex that costs probably more than you will ever earn in your entire life on his wrist, Mercedes who just got brought out to the international market standing on his parking spot in front of the building, an apartment in the most luxurious area in Busan.
Park Jimin inhales God’s mercy and exhales money.
You spoke to him more explicitly only once, on your first day at work. He greeted you and wished good luck, saying that everything will be fine because you know, God’s good. Since that day, Park Jimin seems out of your reach. You contact him only through email, sending articles for him to check and approve, occasionally receiving some short message from him to improve this and that. He rarely leaves his office during working hours but when he does, it’s either for business meetings outside the editorial or for a lunch at nearby restaurant.
There’s also one, special occasion, every Friday, that’s a sacred time for all the employees. The clock hits 12am and so it begins. The angelic voices stop singing and everybody shifts on their sits.
“Oh, Holy Judas. I almost forgot about my favourite part of the week,” Taehyung sighs, standing up from his desk. And by that, he means-
“Friday’s Bible contemplation lunch break, everyone please gather up at the cafeteria.” Park Jimin’s sweet as honey voice says through the speakers.
You stand up from your chair with reluctance. Taking food with you, you go to the cafeteria, following Taehyung.
That’s actually the next thing you got used to while working at Sunday’s Spirit. Bible contemplation meetings are, as you found out from Taehyung, Jimin’s idea after he became an editor-in-chief almost one year ago. Every Friday all the workers sit together, eat their lunches and listen to Jimin as he reads a certain chapter from the book with true admiration written on their faces. After that, he usually asks some questions holding a discussion among the participants who, unlike you, happily takes part in.
The cafeteria looks rather normal, like any other lunchrooms you see in offices. Painted in bright yellow colors, with a few tables and a typical kitchen set in the back. Except for one thing.
A replica of Leonardo da Vinci’s The Last Supper hanging on the wall.
You decided a long time ago that you don’t want to know how much money it cost Jimin to have something like that here.
The newspaper’s workers, almost like the twelve Apostles, sit together by the tables. Lee Chin-sun at the very front, looking completely mesmerized by today’s Park Jimin’s appearance. He’s wearing navy blue suit that Taehyung swears it’s from Hugo Boss. The place next to Chin-sun is always occupied by tall, black-haired guy named Choi Eunwoo, main graphic designer, hopelessly in love with her since his first days at work. Behind them there’s a group from emendation department, with their leader Min Yoongi and other journalists. You always sit with Taehyung at the back, near the kitchen, not necessarily paying attention to what’s happening in the front.
Jimin, as on every Friday, walks to the small podium, designed to look like a pulpit in the church and opens the Bible. But one thing is odd: Jimin ain’t no priest or altar boy himself and he certainly dosen’t look like one, flipping through the pages of what you think it’s New Testament this time.
From your point of view, you could practically see how Chin-sun sighs with content expression on her face, lacing her fingers together on the lap and straightening her back. Eunwoo, on the other hand, shifts uncomfortably on his seat, sending Chin-sun quick glances full of unspoken longing she never acknowledges, to his dismay.
Then, Park Jimin clears his throat and the whole cafeteria goes quiet.
Truth to be told, you never really listen to what he’s reading. This time is no different. You just chew on your avocado sandwich, occasionally taking a sip of coffee. Your boss’ smooth voice reaches your ears faintly but you don’t pay attention to it, focusing on eating and Taehyung’s hushed rumbling instead.
“Look at our Mary Magdalene, she looks like she might burst a nut just by listening to CEO Jesus,” he says, making you peek at the girl.
Mary Magdalene is a nickname that Taehyung made up for Chin-sun when he started working at Sunday’s Spirit, mainly because of her attitude and relationship with Jimin. It’s rather platonic, at least for now. She looks at him with pure admiration on her face and she literally melts everytime he smiles at her. But Chin-sun’s ‘stalking’ isn’t unreasonable. Her father is a well-known philanthropist in Busan. He donates catholic charities, churches and, what’s the most interesting – he has some connections with Jimin’s father, the owner of Sunday’s Spirit.
And here’s the thing: Chin-sun’s hare and hounds definitely have some hidden reason. Maybe the whole marriage thing that has become a gossip in the office is true. Which makes poor Eunwoo’s situation even worse.
“Sometimes I wonder why has he fallen in love with her in first place,” you whisper, pointing at the graphic designer. “He knows he stands no chance against Jimin.”
“What can I say, you can’t help who you fall in love with.” Taehyung muses almost poetically, shrugging his shoulders.
You hum at that, placing your coffee cup on the table and looking around the cafeteria. It seems like Jimin has ended his reading session for today and now he invites everyone to join the discussion about the topic. He flashes Chin-sun a gentle smile and you could swear the girl is biting her lip.
On the corner of your eye you see Taehyung smirking.
“What?” you ask.
Taehyung takes a sip of his coffee lazily (it’s always caramel macchiato), peering at Jimin. “Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if our boss really wants to settle not only with Chin-sun, but anyone in general,” he says languidly.
You furrow your brows. “What makes you think that? I mean, look at him. He probably waits with sex till marriage.” you snort.
Taehyung chuckles at your words. “Ah, sweetheart, you really know nothing about Park Jimin.”
“What do you mean?”
He moves closer to you, leaning towards your ear. “What I mean,” he whispers, “is that Park Jimin isn’t such a prude everyone thinks he is. At least he didn’t use to be.”
You raise your eyebrows at him with disbelief. “What? He’s secretly gay?” you mock.
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I wish, but no, he isn’t,” he answers with a sigh. “Do you know Min Yoongi from emendation team?” he then asks, pointing at grey-haired man with feline eyes sitting behind Chin-sun.
You nodd your head. Min Yoongi is a hard to read guy. Always suspiciously silent, practically never leaves his office. Something makes you wonder how did Taehyung end up befriending him enough to casually gossip about the boss. You will ask him about this on another occasion.
“So here’s the thing,” Taehyung begins, lowering the volume of his voice. “He used to study at the same university in Seoul with Jimin. They even had been together in the fraternity. Yoongi-hyung told me some juicy details about our boss’ life back then.”
You frown at his words. “And you are telling me this now?!” you hiss.
“I found out literally two days ago!” Taehyung exclaims, maybe a little too loud, so you quickly place your index finger on your lips, shushing him.
“Fine. Continue.” you whisper, looking around to see if anyone pays attention to you.
“Well, Park Jimin used to be a trouble back then. A golden boy of his family in Busan, but a campus fuckboy and obnoxious heartbreaker in Seoul. He smoked cigarettes, drank enormous amounts of alcohol, got wasted on every weekend, missed classes and changed hair colors as often as his girlfriends. By the way, don’t you think he would slay pink hair?”
“Taehyung can you please–”
“Okay, okay. Enough thirsting over Jimesus. So, as you can see, there was no place for Sunday’s mass and Bible contemplation meetings in his life. And here’s the awaited plotwist. His parents somehow found out his son wasn’t living good catholic life on his studies and got extremely pissed off. They simply gave him an ultimatum: if he doesn’t stop his shenanigans, they will cut him off their money and they won’t make him Sunday’s Spirit heir.” Taehyung stops his rumbling for a while, letting you proceed all the bewildering informations about your dear boss he has just revealed.
Your eyes simply widen at the revelations.
Park Jimin, the man who organises Bible contemplation lunch breaks, a regular churchgoer, someone who you always thought has a cross tattooed on his back, was a playboy who slept with a half of the female community in the university?
Interesting.
“Rest of the story is simple. He changed his behavior, got a master degree in journalism and came back to Busan to work here. What is funny, his first position was the same as yours now,” Taehyung ends his story with a light chuckle. “Now you understand why it’s hard for me to believe he really thinks about getting married and having at least three kids.”
You look up at Park Jimin, who’s standing now in the centre of the cafeteria, with his arms crossed over his chest, nodding at one of the journalists words. His gaze is so intense and filled with such an authority that makes you understand why Chin-sun literally squirms when he looks at her that way.
It’s not hard for you to imagine him in much different surroundings.
Him, standing with a cup of beer in his hand in the middle of the crowd of drunken people at some frat party. There’s a leather jacket on his shoulders and he’s wearing tight-fitting pants that hugs his gorgeous thighs much better than his usual slacks he puts on every day before he sets off to work. He scans the room with a mishevious smirk dancing on his features, biting and licking his lips as he looks for his prey for tonight.
He then spots her, his pick for the night. He runs his fingers through his silky locks and approaches the girl, whispering dirty promises to her ear as he sways their bodies to the rhythm of loud music blasting through the speakers. Later that night he has her underneath him, begging him to touch her. He fucks her hard, leaving bruises all over her limp, exhausted body. There will be soreness between her thighs in the morning and a few violet love bites on her neck, a gentle reminder that all of this wasn’t just a dream.
But there’s no warm body next to her she could wake up to, no ‘good morning, baby’ or a second round of love making between the sheets. Because Park Jimin isn’t like that. He waited until her breath slowed down and eyelids fluttered shut, drifting her off to sleep. He left in the middle of the night, a cigarette caught between his swollen from kisses lips. He fumed the poison and smiled to himself, wondering what his parents would think when they found out. A golden boy of his family, future heir of the Park’s legacy, coming back from one of his sexcapeds with girl which name he didn’t even remember.
The Lord himself must have already cursed him and he’s currently planning the punishments for him in depths of Hell. But does Park Jimin look like he really care?
You stare blankly ahead, imagining those scenes in your head. You can’t help but squeeze your thighs because God, yes, Park Jimin is hot, even if he reads Breviary before he goes to sleep. What a shame he has changed.
A smooth like honey voice pulls you out from your airy-fairy slumber.
“Miss Y/N?”
You jolt in panic after hearing your name, glancing around and praying that wasn’t the person you think it was. But this silky, melodious voice you would recognize everywhere.
God hates you though, he knows what kind of scandalous things you were daydreaming about and now it’s his time to punish you.
Looking up, your gaze settles on no one other than Park Jimin, who stares at you with his left eyebrow raised, pursing his lips. He extinguishes the aura of pure dominance around him and you involuntarily blush, squirming under his intense glare. You’re royally screwed.
You clear your throat, trying to calm down rapidly beating heart. Without success.
“Yes, sir?” you manage to answer innocently. Certainly not like you weren’t thinking about being fucked by him minutes ago. You don’t even have time to be surprised he remembers your name.
Park Jimin looks unamazed by your sweet tone; he almost seems bored, but definitely irritated. “I asked you a question and I’m waiting for your response.” he says lowly.
Fuckfuckfuck. God have mercy on you. What was the question? Shit, you don’t even know what fragment he had read before.
In act of complete desperation you elbow Taehyung for help but this little shit pretends he has no idea what’s going on, looking at The Last Supper with sudden interest.
You are purely, loyally, utterly fucked.
You adopt the most charming smile you could muster, knowing that it will have zero affect on Park Jimin and ask, “Could you repeat the question one more time, sir? I’m afraid I didn’t hear you correctly.” Jesus, when has your voice become so high-pitched?
A cruel smirks forms on Park Jimin’s lips. He shakes his head, tsking. Taehyung mutters something under his breath that sounds dangerously close to “It was nice meeting you, sweetheart.” You gulp, waiting for your sentence and hoping Pontius Pilate will be gracious to you.
“My, my,” Jimin muses. It makes you feel like a little girl being scolded by the teacher due to her outrageous behavior. You bite your lip so hard you might draw blood, waiting for your boss’ next words. “Of course you didn’t hear my question, because you weren’t paying attention to our discussion.”
In the corner of your eye you see Chin-sun shaking her head with detestation. What a bitch, you think to yourself.
You take a deep breath then, nails digging crescent moons on the skin of your palms. You don’t like being in the spotlight, you never did, but now you have no choice but face the consequences. “My deepest apologies, sir. The behavior I exhibited was highly inappropriate,” you say, bowing your head. Jimin eyes your figure from head to toe and you might actually feel his burning gaze on your skin. Your cheeks flush in crimson even more.
The editor-in-chief seems to deliberate with himself for a while, turning his head slightly to the side, not breaking the eye contact with you. Finally, after a moment that seems to last an hour, he speaks.
“I think you need a lesson that will teach you to pay attention to our weekly discussions, miss Y/N. That’s why I want you to write a 4000 words long paper about the role of Mary Magdalene in Jesus Christ’s life which we had discussed today but you, unfortunately, didn’t acknowledge it.”
You freeze. Like a scene in the movie, everything stops. The embarassement you felt earlier is quickly replaced by pure anger and irritation. He wants you to write a fucking paper? What is this? University lectures?
Never before in your entire life have you felt so humiliated. All eyes are on you; you could practically sense how they are trying not to laugh out loud. Eunwoo and Taehyung look at you with apologetic faces while Chin-sun smirks, whispering something to Jimin’s ear.
“I apologize once again, sir,” you grit through your teeth with a forced smile. Jimin nods then, not even bothering to look at you again. You’re dismissed, that’s what his behavior is saying.
“Our meeting is over, you can go back to your work.” Jimin announces and walks away from the cafeteria with Chin-sun by his side.
You wait for everyone to leave and the you let out a groan of annoyance, burring your head in your hands.
“Hey, it could have been worse. He didn’t fire you after all.” Taehyung laughs but he quickly shuts up as soon as he sees your glare. You stand up from your chair with a scowl written all over your face, and storm out of the lunchroom.
And may the God help you.
Later that unfortunate day, you sit by your desk again, scrolling through the Ask and you shall find page absentmindedly and waiting for the new asks to come. Everyone has returned to their work like nothing has happened but it doesn’t stop you from feeling all those eyes constantly on your back. Maybe you weren’t fired but the humiliation and embarrassment of being told off by your boss publicly makes you want to disappear and never show up at the editorial again.
“Y/N,” Taehyung’s deep voice pulls you out of your thoughts. You look up at him and find the man smiling at you lightly. He’s wearing a long, camel coat and a big scarf around his neck with ridiculous patterns that reminds you of Persian diwans. He places his black camera bag on the desk, which means he’s leaving the office. “I’m free of office work for today so I just wanted to say goodbye.” he explains and you just nod.
“Bye, Taehyung. See you on Monday.” you say maybe a little bit to wryly and he feels that, letting out a long sigh.
Taehyung seems to deliberate with himself for a moment before he decides to speak again. He clears his throat audibly. “And I, uhm, I’m sorry. It’s my fault that you are in this situation. I started this conversation and I should be the one writing this stupid paper for Mister Prude.”
You can’t help but chuckle at the new nickname Taehyung gave Jimin. The anger you felt before drifts away from you slowly, and you smile at your friend apologetically. “Oh, God, Tae. I’m such a bitch sometimes, sorry,” you blurt out.”I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at him. Besides, maybe that’s good I’ve got homework. I don’t remember when was the last time I wrote some-”
Your words are interrupted by a loud laugh that resonates through the office. You look in the direction of the voice just to see Chin-sun with her manicured hand on Jimin’s chest, throwing her head back from the laughter, too dramatically for your taste. She seems to have changed her clothes, a black pencil skirt long forgotten and replaced by a red, bodycon dress. Her dark hair is also styled differently, curled and loose. She looks beautiful, matching Jimin’s appearance perfectly.
“Where are they going?” Taehyung whispers to you, furrowing his brows. You shrug your shoulders, tearing your eyes of Chin-sun and Jimin. “Maybe our Mary Magdalene’s plan to win Jesus’ heart is working. Poor Eunwoo,” he sighs, looking at his watch to check the time. “Anyway, I gotta go. I have to drive all the way to some shithole near the city to take photos of an old lady who swears she saw saint Francis or other dude with halo speaking to her,” he grumbles and you giggle at his words. “Good luck with your paper, sweetheart.” he leans and places a small peck on your cheek.
“Bye, Tae.” you say, watching him leave the office right after Jimin and Chin-sun.
You let out a long, tired sigh, counting the time to leave the office and finally be back home, with a bottle of red wine and new season of Game of Thrones that are waiting for you to watch the whole week. Then, when you’re about to stand up and make yourself another coffee, a new ask pops up in your inbox with the title ‘Sex S.O.S’.
You raise your eyebrows because honestly, what kind of title is this? Curiosity wins the battle with a hot cup of an americano and you click the show more button. You put on your prescription glasses and start reading.
Dear Sunday’s Spirit editorial,
My name is Kang Seoyeon. I study medicine at the University of Seoul, I’ve got an amazing group of friends and a loving boyfriend. And here’s where the actual problem begins. I’m from the catholic family with long traditions, and as you can guess, he isn’t.
We’ve been together for almost 2 years now and since my parents don’t want me to live with him before the marriage, there’s also no sexual life between us. I was actually surprised they agreed I can date a non-religious person in first place, so the rules weren’t that horrible at the beginning.
My boyfriend always seemed to be understanding about the fact that I’m catholic and he has never had issues against it because I stated this on the start of our relationship, but lately… he’s been distant. We meet up less often and I feel like simple kissing after 2 years isn’t enough for him. I even thought about initiating something that wouldn’t necessarily involve the real intercourse but I’m too inexperienced and shy for that. We are slowly drifting apart.
I don’t know what to do. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him just because of some stupid rules I need to follow. I’m scared he will leave me for some other beautiful girl who wouldn’t have anything against sleeping with him, especially after considering the fact that he isn’t virgin unlike me and he experienced this kind of pleasure before.
I hope you will help me.
Yours faithfully,
Kang Seoyeon.
You blink once, twice. Read the message again and then, something snaps in you.
To Hell with these stupid, old-fashioned rules straight from the Middle Ages. To Hell with celibacy till marriage, masturbation prohibition and living according to God’s will. To Hell with Park Jimin and his ridiculous moral code (and his Bible contemplation lunchbreaks).
Unofficial eleventh commandment: If a girl wants a dick, she deserves to have it.
And that’s exactly what your response to the girl is in a nutshell.
Your blood boils in your veins with anger as you’re typing furiously on the keyboard, not even bothering to check if your sudden outburst makes any sense.
Dear Seoyeon,
It’s Y/N here, the journalist who you wrote this message to.
I don’t know what kind of response are you expecting from me but honestly? If you think I’m going to recommend you some praying to Saint Rita then you’re wrong. I’m done with this shit.
Let me make this straight: if you want to fuck your boyfriend, do it. Maybe God wouldn’t approve that but don’t worry, he won’t send you to hell because of some dick in your pussy.
They are plenty of worse things in this world than having sex with the person you love. Look at me. I’m literally writing to catholic newspaper while using words like ‘God’ and ‘Fuck’ in the same sentence. And that’s not even a small piece of what I’ve done in my life.
So you go girl, suck your boyfriend off. Make him beg. He will never leave you after this. You have my blessings and Jesus is giving you metaphysical thumbs up from above. Sex is amazing thing and you don’t have to wait for it until you say ‘yes’ in front of some guy in black cassock. Just go with the flow.
May the God help you!
Love, Y/N.
P.S. Watch out that guy. He seems suspicious. If he’s been really sex deprived for two years he will die after you give him a head.
Sent.
You exhale loudly, staring at the screen. You did that. Six months into working in Sunday’s Spirit and the time when you lost your temper has finally come. You should probably feel ashamed or have some type of conscience pangs but actually you aren’t even near this state.
Grinning to yourself, you delete the message you had sent to the girl from your inbox and check the time. It’s almost 5pm and it looks like you haven’t even realised you’re the only person at the office right now. Since it’s Friday and Jimin has already left, seems like everyone has decided to set off earlier too.
You turn off your computer, packing your things to the bag. Wrapping a scarf around your neck tightly, you leave the building, welcoming the coolness of the early Spring evening in Busan.
When you’re about to cross the street, your phone buzzes in the pocket of your coat. You stop for a moment, smiling to yourself when you read the message.
[04:23pm] from Tae: hey
[04:23pm] from Tae: i know you are probably planning an evening with mary magdalene n jesus but
[04:23pm] from Tae: wouldnt u want to go for drinks with me tonight?
[04:23pm] from Tae: same place as usual
[04:24pm] from Tae: as a wise man once said: nothing helps better for the writer’s block than vodka
[04:24pm] from Tae: so what do u say?
You don’t need to think twice when you quickly type a response. Game of Thrones and wine can wait till another time.
[04:26pm] from me: how could i say no to kim taehyung and vodka?
[04:26pm] from me: see u there
Kim’s is a place like no one other in Busan.
You wouldn’t even know about its existence if it wasn’t Taehyung who took you there first when you started working at Sunday’s Spirit, solemnly promising free drinks. Who would you be if you didn’t agree to that?
When you arrived at the bar, it eventually turned out the alcohol was costless hence it’s his family business since over thirty years and his brother Namjoon is a bartender, not because Taehyung willingly decided to pay for you.
Kim’s is located in rather industrial part of the city, sandwiched between factories and huge housing estates, not looking really inviting at first glance, but the place has its own, unique charm. There are some stories, shrouding the building’s history in mystery. Some people say it used to be headquarters of the most dangerous mafia in Busan, some even believe it served as the secret arsenal during the Korean War.
But what’s definitely true, it’s the fact that Taehyung’s parents bought this place in swinging times of 80s for a small amount of money and turned the place into disco bar which had become a must-go spot for young people in Busan.
Kim’s on the outside, with its large red neon sign hanging above the entrance, looks more like a night club than a bar, but on the inside the magic of kitschy 80s still remains the same (Taehyung swears retro is in fashion these days and that’s why he didn’t let his parents redecorate when they wanted to).
You always feel like you’re traveling back in time when you visist Kim’s.
The place is quite big, with a large dancefloor in the middle and red leather sofas strewn around the place along with the tables. Walls are made of brick and colorful, vibrant neon lights are shimmering on them. Oh, not to mention the huge disco ball on the ceiling. Everything accompanied with the quality music provided by Namjoon.
There are few billiard and foosball tables in the corner of the bar, always occupied by the same group of middle-aged men on weekdays and university students on weekends. But the thing that attract attention of the customers the most, is the bar with Namjoon behind it.
When you enter the place, you spot Taehyung and his blond mop of hair immediately. He sits on one of the bar stools, talking to his older brother. He’s wearing beige pants and floral button-up shirt that seems to match colors with his pinkish-looking drink he holds. You notice a new pair of sapphire earrings and a huge ring from the same collection on his forefinger. Classy, as always.
Taehyung grins broadly when he sees you. He puts his drink on the counter and stands up to greet you. His breath smells like strawberries and vodka when he leans to place his usual, small peck on your cheek. “Hi, sweetheart,” he says with his signature smirk plastered on his face, scanning your figure. “You look gorgeous. Last time you did this kind of make-up you wanted to get laid.”
You rolls your eyes at his words, sitting on a stool next to him. “Hi, Taehyung. Thank you for appreciating my efforts to look like a decent human being but no, I’m not planning on getting laid tonight.” you answer, waving to Namjoon who makes drinks for a group of girls a few meters from you. He smiles bashfully at you, showing his dimples.
“I’m not saying you want a fuck, calm down. I just assumed since it’s not everyday that you put eyeliner on,” Taehyung explains himself. “So let me do that again,” He takes a deep breath, placing a hand on his chest in a dramatic manner. “Y/N, you look absolutely breathtaking. I could stare at you for hours and I wouldn’t mind that even a bit. My homosexuality is at risk right now.”
You ignore his exeggarated outburst, rolling your eyes. “I’m not using eyeliner everyday because there’s something called dresscode in our work, you know?” you say. “Besides, my mum says you should look good on every occasion because you don’t know when you will meet the love of your life.”
Taehyung puts a hand on his heart and sighs with relief. “Thank God I always look good.”
You chuckle and then your eyes wander for a moment to Namjoon, who seems busy listening to whatever the pink-haired girl is telling him with polite smile on his face.
“Here,” Taehyung nudges your side, bringing your attention back to him. He hands you the same pinkish drink as he was drinking when you arrived. “Hyung told me it’s their new specialty or something. It’s called Flamingo’s Beach,” he says and you take the glass in your hand. “I have no idea what Namjoonie-hyung put here but as long as it looks good, it’s good. Cheers!” Taehyung sips his one and watches you with raised eyebrows as you’re taking a generous gulp of the drink. “And…?” he asks.
You lick your lips, humming to yourself. “Not bad. Tastes like strawberries.”
Taehyung opens his mouth to say something but he gets interrupted by his brother. “Y/N, hi. How are you?” Namjoon approaches you with two beer mugs in his hands.
His hair is back to his natural brown color now, purple strands long forgotten since the last time you saw him. It looks like he’s been working out lately, his posture more bulky and it makes his black shirt stick to his body tightly. Namjoon’s good-looking, you always knew that, but he seems to be even more handsome now.
“Hey, I’ve been good, thank you,” you greet him with maybe too much enthusiasm for your liking. You always had a weak spot for him. “How’s the bar going?” you ask.
“Busy, as you can see,” he replies, chuckling to himself. “I would love to talk to you more but I have some work to do in back room, so…” Namjoon trails off sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand.
“Oh, it’s okay. We can catch up another time.” You smile at him and you could swear his cheeks flushed.
“I’ll be going. See you.” Namjoon stammers out, not even waiting for your response before he disappears from your sight.
The pregnant silence sets in between you and Taehyung, something heavy hangs in the air and you feel it, tapping your fingers on the counter to the rhythm of one of the ABBA songs, waiting impatiently.
Taehyung looks like he’s debating with himself in his head. You narrow your eyes. He’s adopted a face you know pretty well, too well even. He looks everywhere but keep avoiding your gaze. He wants to ask you something, you’re sure of it, but he doesn’t know how.
Finally, after a moment of awkward quietness, Taehyung finally opens his mouth. “So, here’s the thing,” he starts and you wait for the bomb to drop.
Last time when he approached you like that, he asked you if you would be down for a threesome with him and some guy he met on Tinder. Your eyes almost popped out of your head when you heard his blunt proposition. You were eating lunch at cafeteria and the words casually slipped from between his lips as he chewed on his egg sandwich, like he didn’t just propose you having sex with him and instead asked for a lift to home after work.
Taehyung begged you for a whole week, pleading and convincing it’ll be fun. When you eventually agreed (sex draught make people do stupid things), the other guy didn’t show up. You ended up drinking tequila shots with Taehyung that night in his apartment, and you can’t quite recall how it happened, but somehow you found yourself unzipping your friend’s pants and the rest is history. He passed out right after he came. Now when you think about it, you feel a sudden urge to ask him if he remembers that.
You will do it next time, you promise yourself.
Taehyung though doesn’t ask you about having a threesome or robbing Park Jimin’s house this time. His intentions are pretty much different.
“See, Namjoon split up with his girlfriend few weeks ago,” he says and you prick your ears. “He’s not in good condition right now, as you can see. It was a nasty break up, he found out she’s been cheating on him,” He lets out a long sigh. You bite your lip, imagining Namjoon’s disappointed face when he discovered the truth. What a bitch cheats on someone like him? “So, I thought maybe you could… cheer him up a little bit?” Taehyung ends hesitantly, with a glint of hope in his eyes.
You frown. Cheer him up? Did he just imply what you think about?
“Look, I get it, he’s sad and angry, but what the fuck, Taehyung? What do you want me to do? Do you want me to be his rebound? Make him forget?” you exclaim. Taehyung quickly shakes his head but you don’t let him say anything. “I feel sorry for Namjoon but I’m not going to take advantage of him when he’s literally still hurt.”
“No, it’s not like that!” Taehyung rushes to explain. “Well, maybe it sounded like that but I swear, I didn’t mean that!”
“Then what should I do? Wipe his tears? Tell him a joke? Or maybe-”
“Of course he wants you to suck his brother’s heartbroken dick, doll.”
A sudden, low voice interrupts your conversation. Your eyes follow the direction when it comes from, looking to Taehyung’s left where not even a meter away a very familiar grey-haired man with feline eyes sits.
“Min Yoongi,” you say matter-of-factly.
The leader of emendation team from Sunday’s Spirit editorial raises his hand in which he holds whiskey, greeting you and Taehyung. “Hello, doll. Hello, Taehyung,” he says, not even bothering to look at you.
You elbow Taehyung searching for explanation but he shrugs his shoulders, turning to face the man as well.
“First of all, since when do you call me ‘doll’? We have never spoken a word to each other. Secondly, how long have you been sitting here and listening?” you ask Yoongi.
He snorts, smirking. “Long enough to know how Taehyung comforts his brother after break up.” he simply answers and Taehyung’s cheeks blush in crimson at his words.
“You come here often? I’ve never seen you here before,” you continue, crossing your arms over chest.
Next to you Taehyung lets out a sigh. “Yes, he does. Albeit I haven’t seen him for a while here,” You look at him in confusion. “Yoongi-hyung is Namjoonie-hyung close friend from university days.” he clarifies.
You raise your eyebrows at that. “So Namjoon went to the same school as Park Jimin?”
“Not the same. We met under different circumstances.” Yoongi cuts in.
“They’ve been together in underground rap group, or some shit. Didn’t like each other at first but eventually stuck together till the end of studies.” Taehyung ends and grey-haired man nods.
You can’t help but chuckle at that.
“What’s funny in that?” Yoongi scowls.
“Nothing. I just imagined you and Namjoon in snapbacks, rapping about the unfairness of social hierarchy,” you say, grinning at him.
“Well, you may believe me or not, but we even made a mixtape.” Yoongi reveals proudly, taking a sip of his whiskey.
Your eyes widen in curiosity. “Then what happened? Why aren’t you in Seoul now, still producing music? Why do you work in this stupid newspaper and Namjoon’s a bartender?” you ask interrogatively.
“Life happened, doll. We didn’t have enough money to publish our works so we decided to quit it.”
“Oh,” you breathe out.
You could see the nostalgia written across Yoongi’s face. You feel sorry for him, for Namjoon. Everything is always about the money. That’s why you’re working in Sunday’s Spirit even though it was never your dream in first place. Even though you have much higher ambitions than being Ask and you shall find column author.
Ever since you were little, you loved writing. You never complained, not even once, when your teachers in school assigned you to write something. They kept saying you have an extraordinary talent and it would be a shame if you didn’t do anything with that.
During your high school years, you were the leader of school newspaper’s team, still writing your own works every time you didn’t have something different to do. After that, you got to the university in Seoul, your another dream came true. You got a master degree, an apprenticeship in the Korean version of highly popular, world-widely known magazine. And then, nothing. No job applications available. No newspapers or publishing companies wanting you, dismissing you right away because they didn’t have any vacant places.
This is how Sunday’s Spirit, even if that’s not your dream job, happened. And quite literally saved your ass.
“I’m sorry.” you say after a while.
Yoongi smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Don’t be. What’s in past, stays in past.” he ends the conversation, drinking the rest of his whiskey.
You find this as a perfect possibility to do what you’ve come here for: get wasted, forget about this prick Park Jimin and his stupid assignment. You turn around on your stool to face the bar again, calling for the red-haired bartender named Hoseok who’s substituting Namjoon right now. You order a round of tequilla shots and quickly pours two of them in one go.
“Easy, tiger,” Taehyung teases, still sipping his pink drink as you wipe your chin with the back of your hand. Taehyung has stated a long time ago that he enjoys only casual drinking, which makes you and you lightweightness snort at him.
“Loser,” you mumble under your breath, deep down knowing you’re oh so much going to regret this after.
You focus your attention on the dancefloor now; technicolor lights glittering as the crowd of sweaty people bounce to old Madonna hits. You feel like your spirit might actually experience new kind of awakening during the chorus in Like a Virgin. You mouth the lyrics, the vodka already half-way to your bopping head. Your drunken self almost asks Taehyung and Yoongi if they would agree to be your backup dancers.
You eyes scan the room carefully and then, you spot him. He’s sitting in the corner, his arms splayed over the backrest of the red couch. A devil himself. A black horseman of the Apocalypse. A man who looks like every girl’s next mistake. Taylor Swift’s ‘we are never ever getting back together’.
A true sin.
Jet-black hair parted in the middle, onyx eyes and lucious smirk written across his lips as he bites them purposefully. He’s wearing a leather jacket and you wonder for a while if you would find inked tattoos on his body. He cocks his head to the side, his eyes glued to the same spot as he waits for something, or rather someone.
“Who’s that?” you ask, not even hiding your curiosity at this point.
Taehyung turns around as well, his eyes glancing to the dark-haired man briefly. “Ah, this, sweetheart, is Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin’s best friend.” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
You raise your eyebrows, watching as Jungkook’s face expression immediately changes when waitress approaches him. He says something to her that makes her roll her eyes. She tightens her grip around the tray she’s holding, asking him for his order.
“Don’t worry. You are not the only one thirsting over him. I would let him top me too,” Taehyung whispers to your ear and you flinch.
“I’m not thirsting over him! I came her for drinks, not to get laid, I told you.”
“Okay, okay, loosen up a little. Tequilla makes you aggressive. Besides, it looks like he’s got his pick for tonight.”
Jungkook stretches out his hand and fixes the waitress’ glasses that seem to rode down her nose a little. The girl frozes in place because of his action and he grins, calling her cute.
“He’s trying to ask her out for two months,” Yoongi interrupts suddenly, again. It looks like he has nothing better to do tonight. “I’m serious. He’s here every Friday. Normally, he would have given up after the second time she had rejected him but there’s might be something in this girl that makes his dick hard and his heart soft.”
Jungkook’s eyes girl’s body as she bends to pick up the glasses from other tables and maybe that’s the alcohol swimming in your veins but you could swear his face lights up when she sends him another irritated glare when he calls her name.
“Does Park Jimin comes here often as well?” you ask before you could stop yourself.
Both Taehyung and Yoongi shake their heads.
“I don’t think so. Jeon comes here because he lives nearby in this huge ass apartment complex. His father runs a chemical factory and he works there.” Taehyung explains.
Jeon? Chemical factory? Something clicks in your brain. Right, you know who his father is. The King of Washing Powder. Another rich as fuck Busan’s snob.
“God, I hate him. I fucking hate him. What a prick. Douchebag. Asshole of the century,” The string of profanities leaves poor waitress’ mouth as she walks to the counter with tray in her hands. “How’s your day, love? You look beautiful today, love. Fucking leave me alone, love!” she mutters to herself, taking the beer mugs from Hoseok abruptly which makes the bartender raise his eyebrows in confusion.
“How’s your assignment about Mary Magdalene going on, doll?” Yoongi asks then, startling you.
You roll your eyes at him. “I literally got it today, Yoongi. I haven’t started yet.” you answer, gulping another shot.
On the corner of your eye you see Yoongi’s smirking. “I’m surprised, to be honest. You aren’t the only one who doesn’t pay attention to shit Jimin’s says,” he trails off. “I work for him from the moment he started this ridiculous Bible lunch breaks and I swear, he’s never called out someone like that before.”
“What do you mean he’s never called out someone before?” Taehyung joins in curiously.
“Look, I slept through the majority of these sessions and Jimin knows it, but he has never lecture me about it,” Yoongi remarks. “Maybe you’re an exception. Or he’s become more strict because of this bitch Chin-sun.”
You furrow your eyebrows, confused. You know Chin-sun has been making heart eyes for Jimin for a long time but what why it might have an influence on his behavior?
“Lee Chin-sun? What the office’s Mary Magdalene has to do with that? Besides the fact that she’s drooling for his dick every time she sees him,” Taehyung snorts.
Yoongi chuckles lowly. “Oh, so you two really know nothing about what’s going on between them right now,”
“What’s going on right now? Spill.” Taehyung says abruptly. You sigh when you see the way his eyes flicker with mischeviousness. One thing Taehyung loves more than photography and fashion is gossiping (and dicks).
“First of all, Chin-sun is a fucking bigot. And well… she might be closer to being miss Park than we thought.” Yoongi muses.
Taehyung eyebrows practically disappear in his hairline. You’re sure you mirror his expression right now.
Yoongi asks Hoseok for another glass of whiskey and continues. “My friend Seokjin’s wife is Jimin’s personal assistant and secretary. She heard this and that, quite juicy things I must say,” he says in a lower tone, like he’s revealing government secrets to them. You lean closer into his direction along with Taehyung. “Chin-sun’s father recently bought the claims to the most popular, conservative TV station in whole South Korea. But, what is more interesting, it looks like Park senior has some shares in it as well.”
You’re astonished. You knew there’s something looming in the air but you didn’t expect this. A TV station? Even your slightly drunken brain can calculate it’s very interesting.
“So the marriage between Chin-sun and Jimin would be pretty convenient for their families, especially after considering the fact that Jimin is the heir.” Yoongi adds, gulping the first sip of his new whiskey.
“Poor Eunwoo,” you whisper to yourself.
“But why so soon? Why do they want to legalize their relationship so suddenly?” Taehyung asks.
Yoongi lets out a heavy sigh. “There’s a rumour going around that Jimin’s father isn’t in good condition right now. Seokjin-hyung mentioned something about the heart disease. So, if that’s really true, you have the answer why he wants his eldest son to settle down already. Everything’s about the money, I told you.”
Taehyung whistles. “Woah, so Mary Magdalene is really about to be CEO Jesus’ wife soon!” he exclaims, clapping his hands. “Brilliant. Finally something spicy is happening in this boring editorial.”
“I wouldn’t be so enthusiastic if I were you, Taehyung. This kind of business never ends well,” Yoongi says coldly, placing his glass on the counter and standing up from the stool. He glances at his watch and throws a few bills next to his empty glass. “I’ll get going. It was nice talking to you, doll.”
“What about me?”
“Shut up, Taehyung, you’re not pretty lady.”
“I feel offended.”
“And I don’t care,” Yoongi mutters. Maybe that was alcohol swimming in her veins but you saw Taehyung lifting the corners of his lips in amusement. Weird. “Good luck on your assignment, doll. See you all on Monday.” Yoongi glances to your way one last time, adjusting his jacket.
“Bye, Yoongi.” you wave to him and a small, even sincere smile appears on his face when he as well raises his hand lazily and leaves. “Why didn’t you tell me he’s actually nice, Tae? I was always too scared to start a conversation with him because I felt intimidated.” you say after a while.
“I’m sorry, should have I set you up for a date with him?” Taehyung mocks.
A groan escapes your lips. “Could you please stop insinuating things?”
“You need to get laid, seriously. Like soon-soon. You get easily irritated recently. You need a d i c k,”
“I don’t need a dick!”
“A cock, Y/N,” Taehyung emphasizes. “A penis in your precious vagina.”
“Shut up!”
Several shots and a few drunken dances to Cindi Lauper and Bon Jovi, you’re pretty much wasted. And maybe, just maybe, you need a dick. And Taehyung, like a dipshit he always is, thinks that’s actually funny.
“Don’t wanna homff,” you slur, supporting your weight on Taehyung’s arm that shakes with laughter at your drunken antics, as well as his whole body. “I wanna danfce witfh somebodyyy,”
“Holy Mother of Jesus, you must be really drunk if you started referring to Whitney Houston’s songs. And you smell like booze,” Taehyung mutters under his breath and you whine, tugging on his arm.
“TaeTae, Taehyungie, pffleasee, can we go back?”
Taehyung ignores your grumbling completely. He exists the bar, walking (or rather dragging) you to the cab. As he tries to push your body to the car, he sees in the corner of his eye Jeon Jungkook, standing in front of his black SUV. The waitress from earlier accompanies him as well. It looks like he’s trying to convince her to let him give her a lift to home. The girl shakes her head at first but eventually gives up, stepping into the car. Jungkook grins to himself then, clenching his fists in gesture of pure triumph.
“I fuckin’ hate Park Jimin and his stfupid newspaper,” you mutter incoherently as you bury your head in the crook of Taehyung’s neck in the back of the cab. Old, korean songs are playing in the radio when you’re driving back home. Taehyung smiles to himself, hearing your light snores. But then, he falters.
Ah, yes, he almost forgot. It is going to be a long way to the third floor of your apartment building.
Next day, you wake up in the middle of noon with raging headache and an abrupt need to throw everything up. Frankly speaking, you had worse hangovers during you university days but it doesn’t change the fact that the state you’re currently in still sucks.
“Oh, good God, what have I thought?” you mutter to yourself while standing in the shower, letting the water cool you down.
Truth to be told, a drinking escapade when you have a whole ass paper to write in two days wasn’t the smartest idea you could come up with. You know that for sure, when you’re sitting down in front of your laptop with prescription glasses on your face and a cup of tea in your hand.
There’s a blank document opened on the screen, with only your name written in the corner and the title in the middle. You feel pathetic and useless, staring at it for 30 minutes straight. If you keep sitting like this, you might actually call Park Jimin right now and beg him not to fire you due to your incompetence.
“Get your shit together, Y/N.” you say to yourself, clenching your fists.
At first you fought about making some mind-map, outlining the most important parts of your essay, as you always used to do when you were studying. But there’s a huge difference between what you’re working on right now and what you usually did during academic days. Above all, at that time you were writing about things you had more knowledge about, not about Mary Magdalene and her role in Jesus Christ’s life.
“Ah, fuck it.”
You open an online Bible page and quickly type ‘Mary Magdalene’ in browser. All fragments when she’s mentioned shows up in front of your eyes. You fix your glasses and before you could stop yourself, you whisper, “Let’s get it.”
You don’t know how much time has passed since you started reading, but when you glance a the clock it’s nearly 7pm.
You went through every single page in the Bible when Mary Magdalene appears or when for some reason her name comes up in conversations. You read two thesis in which you found quite interesting facts about the heroine of your work. Also, you watched some conspiracy theories on YouTube about her, in which people claim that she was actually Jesus’ wife. You were bewildered, even in your post-hangover state.
And after all of this researching, you have settled a plan. You’re a journalist for God’s sake, you’ve been writing your entire life and none assignment will break you. So you start typing on the keyboard, filling the blank document pages with words, hoping that Park Jimin will approve your efforts.
On Sunday, you look like a ghost.
You’re a mess, cured from hangover but still in bad shape, especially after spending the whole night writing in front of your laptop. There are bangs under your eyes and you hair looks like you could cosplay a scarecrow. Your eyes are sore from staring to the screen for so long and you feel like you might collapse anytime if you won’t drink coffee in five minutes.
In between writing next paragraphs, you answer a call from Taehyung.
“How’s your assignment going, sweetheart?”
You let out a long, exhausted sigh. “It’s fine, I guess.” you respond to him.
“That’s lovely! I knew you would slay this, babe,” you hear him saying.
“I’m not done yet, Tae. I still have like a half to write,” you mumble and then let out a yawn, closing your eyes for a brief second before you speak again. “I would love to talk to you more but I really need to get this shit done as soon as I can, so I could have some decent sleep before Monday. I don’t want to look like an old witch when I hand in the paper to Park Jimin.”
“I know, I know. You got this, sweetheart. I’m sure you will make Mister Prude’s dick hard because of this.” Taehyung assures you.
You crack a tired smile even though you know he doesn’t see you. “Thank you, Tae.”
“Anything for you, sweetheart.” he says and hangs up.
You take another gulp of your coffee and start writing again.
It’s a little past midnight when you’re, with your last amounts of force you posses, typing the last words of the paper. As you look at your laptop screen, eyelids half-closed, you dream about nothing but going to sleep.
You did that. You really did. You wrote this stupid paper for Park Jimin and you’re actually proud of it. You carefully save the document three times (to be hundred percent sure) and as soon as you close your laptop, you pass out.
Little did you know what is waiting for you in editorial in a few hours.
You stare at your reflection in small mirror you hold, thanking God that he has enlightened the person who discovered make-up. You won’t say you look stunning but, after five hours of sleep you had in last two days, you would risk it all and say you appear much more than decent looking. You’re wearing your new black jumpsuit that makes your legs look longer and you even used a different shade of lipstick, painting your lips in crimson red.
And all of this for nothing, because when you stormed into the Sunday’s Spirit editorial to give the paper straight to Park Jimin’s hands, his secretary with polite smile said he’s coming to work later today.
You pursued your lips and handed the woman your blood, sweat and tears (you’re actually sure a few tears rolled down from your face on the keyboard while you were writing it), wishing you saw your boss’ face when you place the printed pages on his expensive desk.
“I changed a little bit the topic of my work while I was outlining it,” you tell Taehyung as you both sit together by your desks later that day. “I focused more on a role of Mary Magdalene character in world ruled only by men. I showed how a powerful woman she was, standing at Jesus’s side even though the church for the centuries referred her to whore,” you explain.
“Wow,” Taehyung muses. “You turned Mary Magdalene into feminism icon fighting against patriarchy.”
“It’s not like that!” You hit him in the arm. “You may laugh as much as you want but I actually got into her story.”
Taehyung smirks. “Looks like being scolded by Park Jimin wasn’t that bad.”
You roll your eyes. “Shut up. I got humiliated in the middle of fucking cafeteria. I still hate him. And also, I don’t know what he thinks about my essay.” you say with a sigh.
“Don’t worry. He’s probably having an epiphany right now while-”
A voice from the speakers that certainly doesn’t sound like gospel choir interrupts him.
“Miss Y/N, please report to the Park Jimin’s office immadietly.”
“-or he isn’t.” Taehyung ends.
Once again, you’re frozen in place. It’s okay, you tell yourself, maybe he just wants to talk about my essay. But what if he didn’t like it? What if your sudden feminism outburst about Mary Magdalene was too much?
“Holy fuck.” you blurt out quietly.
Taehyung gives you an encouraging smile but he doesn’t look much convinced in positive intentions of summoning you to their boss’ office, he just doesn’t say it aloud. “Well, maybe it won’t be that bad! Maybe he wants to congratulate you,” he tries to comfort you, without success. You look horribly pale and scared to death.
“I repeat: miss Y/N, please report to the Park Jimin’s office immadietly.” Jimin’s stone cold voice pierce through the silence again. You shiver. The journalists in the editorial send you impatient glares.
“Whatever happens, remember that I love you.” Taehyung whispers, squizzing your hand, which makes you even more nervous. He gives you thumbs-up and you take a deep breath, trying to calm your trembling body. A whole Sunday’s Spirit team follow your movements with their eyes.
You stands from your desk on wobbly legs and walk to the door with golden sign hanging on its surface.
Park Jimin
Editor-in-chief
You take the knob in your shaking palm and twist, stepping into the lion’s den.
The atmosphere seems to shift when you walk into the room. You could hear your heart rapidly beating through the dead silence that lingers in Park Jimin’s office. “You wanted to see me, sir?” you ask after closing the door, subconsciously cursing yourself for sounding so weak already.
“Yes, have a seat,” Jimin says. “Give me a second. I need to finish something.” he adds when you sit down, not even bothering to spare you a look.
Jimin sits behind his desk, eyes glued to the computer screen. His hair is pushed back from his forehead, his jaw clenched. Oh, great, he looks pissed, you think to yourself.
He isn’t wearing his suit jacket like usually, which surprises you. His white shirt’s sleeves are rolled up, revealing a glimpse of veiny hands and his Rolex. This is the first time you see him like this. He looks so… unlike him.
Strange.
You use the time you have to take in your surroundings. Jimin’s office is painted in fair tone of grey. The rumors were actually right, there’s a smaller version of Michelangelo’s Pietà standing proudly on of the drawers. Behind the desk, on the wall, hangs a wooden cross with gold-plated figurine of Jesus Christ, and just underneath it there’s a framed picture of Lady of Fatima, which he once proudly showed to the whole editorial team on one of the lunchbreaks, saying his grandmother brought him this from her pilgrimage.
You focus your attention now on the wall filled with numerous diplomas and certificates, all of them signed with Park Jimin’s name.
You had read some of his works before you started your job in Sunday’s Spirit and you must admit: Park Jimin is a talented, smart journalist you aspire to be one day. It’s actually sad, you think, that he can’t pursue his career, wasting his abilities by working in catholic newspaper owned by his father. And as you know from Yoongi, his situation isn’t going to change soon. Maybe he was right after all. Money really does rule this world.
After a few minutes that seems to last forever, Jimin breaks the silence. “Do you know why are you here?” he asks, finally averting his attention to you. He stares so deeply into your eyes that you feel you might faint from the intensity of his aura.
You clear your throat, and then respond. “I do believe it’s about my paper I handed in to you this morning.”
Jimin raises his eyebrow at that. “Your paper? No, everything’s fine about it. I read it and I must say, you did a great job,” he says and you furrow your eyebrows. So if nothing’s is wrong with your essay then what does he want?
“Then… why did you call me in, sir?” you hesitantly ponder.
Jimin laces his fingers together and leans closer over the desk. “Well,” he begins, “Maybe you forgot or you really didn’t know about it, but I used to run the same column as you do now,” You nod your head, recalling what Taehyung told you recently. Jimin continues, “I was actually the one who created it. That means I am still, for this day, its administrator. Which leads to another conclusion: every single ask that is send to our editorial and your responses to them can be monitored by me.” he explains, gauging your reaction. You still don’t have an idea why is he telling you that, so you just sit still and wait.
Then, Jimin reaches for the paper that lays on the left side of his desk and hands it to you. “Could you please tell me what is this?” he asks, pointing at the paper.
You glance at it briefly. “These are the questions I got last week and my responses to them.” you reply straightaway.
Park Jimin doesn’t seem much satisfied after hearing your words. He then takes another paper and gives it to you as well. “And this particular one, Y/N? Could you please read it and tell me what is this?”
Ignoring his forego of ‘miss’, you take it to your hands and start reading.
Dear Sunday’s Spirit editorial,
My name is Kang Seoyeon. I study medicine at the University of Seoul, I’ve got an amazing group of friends and a loving boyf-
You gasp and immadietly put a palm over your mouth. Under Seoyeon’s ask there’s also, clear as day, your much inappropriate response to her. In which you persuade the girl to suck her boyfriend off.
Holy fuck. Jesus Christ. Shitshitshit!
Jimin said he monitors everything that people send to the editorial along with the responds. Of course he had to read it. Why have you been so dumb? How could you believe that simple deleting from your inbox would be enough? Why can’t you do something properly for once?
You gulp, trying not to cry because good God, he’s going to fire you. He will kick you out and write a bunch of negative letters to your future employees, in which he will explain in details how disobiedent, reckless of a worker you are.
“Did you also forget how to speak?” Jimin asks. You almost cry out right away from the coldness of his voice.
You muster up a courage and look at him, and that’s a huge mistake because as soon as your eyes meet his, you’re lost for words.”I-I don’t know what to say, sir,” you stammer out. “I have nothing for my defence. I can only apologize for my irresponsible and inappropriate behavior I exhibited.” you say, bowing your head down.
Jimin pursues his lips. He stands from his chair and walks to you, leaning his body on the desk. He takes the paper from you to his hands and starts reading. “If you want to fuck your boyfriend, do it. Maybe God wouldn’t approve that but don’t worry, he won’t send you to hell because of some dick in your pussy,“ he quotes your response to the girl and your cheeks flush in red; you wish nothing more than to disappear and never see your boss again. But he’s relentless and continues reading, spilling the crude words, humiliating you even more. “So you go girl, suck your boyfriend off. Make him beg. He will never leave you after this.“ Jimin chuckles to himself darkly and you shut your eyes. “Look at me when you are spoken to,” he demands. You quickly oblige, lifting your chin a little to meet his intense gaze. “Is that really how a good, catholic girl should act?” he asks in a mocking tone.
You shake your head. “No, it isn’t.”
Jimin clicks his tongue. “Do you think he really won’t leave her after this?” he asks out of the blue.
You furrow your eyebrows. What kind of twisted game is he playing now? “I don’t know, sir.” you answer honestly.
Jimin smirks. Devilishly, sultry and completely illegal. He then licks his lips and leans closer to you. You could swear his eyes are darken than before. Something has shifted in his demeanor; he looks daring. “Why don’t you show me then, how this poor girl should suck her boyfriend off, Y/N?” he whispers lowly.
Your eyes widen. Did he just-?
He didn’t. He can’t. Maybe you misheard him, maybe you started imagining things that aren’t real. Oh, sweet Lord, the look of absolute seriousness written on his face tells you very much different.
Park Jimin, your boss, the man who goes regularly on masses and reads Bible, wants you to give him a head. In his office.
May the God help you.
You should probably slap him in the face for his immoral proposition. You should save your dignity, leave and never come back again. But then, you clear your mind from all those twisted thoughts running through it and you realise that you’re walking on a very thin line. Line which is called unemployment and bankruptcy.
You think about your landlord who praised you recently for keeping up with rent every month regularly. You think about your student loans that you still need to pay.
And fuck, you hate Yoongi because he was damn right. Money wouldn’t buy you happiness, but it can provide you that.
That’s why you put away the humiliation, the what ifs. You shut your mind screaming at you and listing the future consequences. Maybe Jimin just tests you, but the way he looks at you denies it. He wants to see you on your knees in front of him. Perhaps he only wants to play before he fires you but you put that thought aside.
You at least need to try.
Jimin searches for any kind of protest in your eyes and when he doesn’t find it, he’s back to his domineering self. “What are you waiting for?” he asks, his voice an octave lower. “Get on your knees.”
He has a calm expression on his face and you wonder for a moment how many times has he been in similar situation before. Having a woman on his mercy and using her the way he likes. And now you know. All those stories you heard about, are actually true. Park Jimin isn’t a prude. He’s dirty.
You fall to the floor with a light whimper. Maybe it’s the last chance for you to leave, but the confidence that emanates from Jimin doesn’t falter your movements. You hate yourself for that but God, you want to see this man being a mess for your touch. Even if that’s fucked up.
And it’s wrong, so, so wrong, when there’s a cross hanging behind you, when he’s your boss who claims to be a good catholic, when you do that because you’re too afraid to lose your job. But in that moment, the morality doesn’t exist.
Jimin stands up to take his belt off, looking at you from the above as he slowly, purposefully pulls it from the belt loops. He doesn’t encourage you or say anything, he just waits. You gulp when he yanks his black slacks down, along with his underwear.
For a few, solid seconds, you just stare.
You aren’t a connoisseur of dicks. Dick is a dick, but Park Jimin’s length is just as perfect as the rest of him, semi-hard against his lower stomach. Your hands move to his sculpted thighs, running up and down, tracing the prominent lines of his toned abdomen. The muscles tense underneath your touch.
You don’t remember when was the last time you’ve gone down on someone. Maybe it was Taehyung few months ago when you were both too drunk to care? You can’t quite recall. Every move of yours is uncertain, but Jimin doesn’t mind. Maybe your uncertainty turns him on even more.
He watches as you take him in your palm hesitantly, hot and already stiff, stroking him several times until he hardens in your hand. The sight is purely erotic, filthy, and you lick your lips before placing a light kiss on his tip. Jimin hisses. That’s a warning. No teasing.
You pump him, trailing a thumb over his slit, spreading precum all over his cock. Jimin doesn’t say anything but from the shuddering breath he lets out you assume he likes it. You take a deep breath, wrapping your lips around his dick and swirling your tongue around the head.
Jimin groans, a guttural sound resonating through his whole body and you take it as a sign to continue. You ease more of him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and bobbing your head up and down around his length obediently. Some twisted and fucked-up part of you wants him to praise you, call you good girl with your lips around his dick and throbbing core. He does none of that. His hands tangle in your hair as he withdraws, and you know exactly what’s coming next.
It’s an unspoken question on his lips and your jaw falls slacks on command.
A forceful push of his hips and he’s burried deep inside your mouth till he hits the back of your throat. Tears brim in your eyes and you gag, breathing heavily through your nose. It hurts a little, a dull ache but the content sigh and fucked-out expression on Jimin’s face is worth it. So you let him fuck your mouth the way he wants, let him pull your hair harder, wreck you a little more. It’s so easy to submit to him, to let him overwhelm you in every sense possible.
Your eyes fall shut and Jimin stops his movements, pulling from your mouth. Drool dribbles down your chin and you wipe it with the back of your hand. Jimin lets out a shaky breath, staring down at you so intensely it makes your insides tighten, even if you don’t see him yet.
“Look at me,” he rasps and you do, how could you not. The sight of your boss’ flushed cheeks and sweat forming on his forehead will be imprinted in your mind forever.
You curse yourself for wanting him to fuck you senseless right against his deck, with a hand around your throat muffling your screams, fuck you so hard you won’t remember your name anymore, no matter how wrong it is.
“Good girl. You’re so pretty like this, letting me fuck your mouth,” Jimin nothing but purrs, filling you to the brim again, until there are tears forming in your eyes and running down your cheeks, until he hits the base of your throat again and again and you fight back choked gags every time. “Just like that, fuck-” he moans, lowly and beautifully, head thrown back and mouth parted.
He’s close, you could feel that, so you take him deep once again and when your throat tightens around him one last time, he lets out a gutural groan and comes. You swallow every drop of his bitter release and when he pulls out from your mouth, you nearly fall forward.
Jimin catches you, placing his hands on your shoulders, balancing your exhausted body. You look at him through your half-lidded eyes. He looks so young now, so innocent, his cold demeanor’s gone and replaced by pure bliss written on his face. For Park Jimin, cheeks rosy, disheveled hair and loosen tie, you would do it all over again.
He then does something unexpected. He reaches for your face, brushing your tangled hair away and placing the strands behind your ears. This is a loving gesture, something exclusive he definitely shouldn’t be doing. You’re frozen, you can’t move a muscle while he wipes your cheeks from the reminiscences of your tears. He trails his thumb over your swollen lips absentmindedly, faltering there. For a moment he looks like he might say something, but he quickly shuts his mouth, regaining his previous posture.
You take this as a sign to leave. You get up from the floor, your knees sore from the uncomfortable position you’ve been in. You walk to the mirror that hangs on the wall of Jimin’s office. You sigh, seeing your current state. There’s no way someone would believe you that you haven’t just sucked a dick.
Your cheeks are flushed in pink, there are smudges of mascara under your eyes and your lipstick is smeared in the corners of your mouth. Not to mention your hair is still a mess.
You are painted in all shades of wrong.
In the reflection of the mirror you see Jimin buckling up his belt and straightening his tie. He runs a hand through his blond locks and looks up, catching you staring at him. You quickly look away.
“Don’t worry. No one will notice anything. Everyone should be off for their lunchbreaks by now.” he says. He sounds so pathetically normal, yet there’s still a slight rasp in his voice.
You glance at the watch on your hand and check the time. It’s a little past 12. You brush your hair with your fingers quickly and proceed to leave, but you stop, remembering you have to ask about one last thing. You turn around to face him.
“Are you going to write a bad opinion about me to my future employees?” you ask, flinching at the hoarseness of your voice.
Jimin raises his eyebrows. “Bad opinion? No, absolutely not,” he answers, shaking his head. “I was never going to fire you in first place.”
You fight back the shocked expression that threatens to appear on your face. You quickly rush to leave this damn office and never look in his eyes ever again. What were you even thinking?
“And Y/N,” Jimin’s voice makes you stop with your hand hovering over the door knob. Single tear rolls down your cheek and you gulp. “I’m sorry.” it’s all he says.
You don’t ask him what he meant by that. You don’t deliberate if he was sincere or not. You leave the office as soon as you can, running to the nearest bathroom, closing the door behind you and leaning on it.
He wasn’t going to fire you. He just wanted to use you, demand to get down on your knees and please him the way he wants. It was all a game for him, and you became his plaything.
“I’m so stupid,” you mutter to yourself, burying your head in your hands. “God, I’m so stupid.”
You feel sick, used, but at the same time you can’t get away with creeping feeling that you enjoyed it, wishing he wanted you just as much as you wanted him in that moment.
You sigh, closing your eyes. You’re probably foolish for thinking it won’t have any consequences. You’re just about to face them.
The coldness of early Spring hits you when you exit Sunday’s Spirit editorial. You hug your body tighter with your coat, standing in front of the building awkwardly. You take a few deep breaths, trying to clear your mind, but nothing really works. There’s a vacant space inside your body, like your soul has drifted away and left nothing but emptiness.
You feel hollow.
You don’t know how long have you been standing there, inhaling fresh air and waiting for your blood to start circulating properly in your veins again. When you’re about to head to the underground station, on the corner of your eye you see Jimin’s black Mercedes. You probably shouldn’t stare but you helplessly do.
Probably if you didn’t, it would hurt less.
He approaches the car, looking perfectly fine as always, which you couldn’t say about yourself. And he isn’t alone.
You recognize dark curls of Chins-sun’s hair, contrasting her beige coat beautifully. The corners of Jimin’s lips lift when he sees her. You don’t know if it’s a honest smile or a forced one. You wonder for a while how does he look like when he’s truly happy. Maybe he’s happy now, when Chin-sun is by his side.
What you are really sure about Park Jimin, is that he’s a man of many maybes.
Something which definitely doesn’t look forced are his palms, cupping the cheeks of Chin-sun’s flushed face. He starts tracing circles on her skin in intimate gesture and murmurs something. Maybe he asks her how was her day. Your lips still tingle where he trailed his thumb over it bitten, swollen surface. Maybe he still remembers how they felt around his cock when he was relentlessly bringing tears to your eyes and stabs to your heart.
The way he leans and kisses Chin-sun’s cherry colored lips is purposeful, perfectly measured. Maybe he sighs into her mouth with content, a beautiful sound you have witnessed with your own ears, as you were working him to his climax. Jimin’s hands grip Chin-sun’s dark locks but it isn’t the similar manner he did to you earlier, as he laced his fingers through the strands, when you wished him to do nothing more than pull harder and harder, until the pain in you scalp was replaced by dull ache, until a whimper fell from your lips and eyes squeezed shut. He kisses Chin-sun lovingly and there’s no roughness in that. It’s gentle caresses and soft murmurs.
After a moment he breaks off, soothing his palms over Chin-sun’s shoulders. She sends him a smile and opens the passenger’s door, getting into the car. And then, when you swallow a lump in your throat, when you decide to turn around and go, run as fast as you possibly can, when you dream about nothing more but never seeing him again, you catch eyes with him.
Jimin looks pathetically apologetic. There’s something in his dark brown orbs you can’t read. Maybe it’s guilt, maybe regret. Park Jimin is a man of many maybes, yet he stares at you with expression you could only mistaken for sadness.
You wonder if he sees the way your eyes stare at him blankly. You wonder if he knows how he nearly wrecked your body and made you feel things you shouldn’t. If he hurts the same way as you do now. However, Jimin quickly diverts his head away from you, closing the door to his car behind him as well. You laugh quietly at the ridiculousness of this situation. A bitter laugh that escapes your mouth and deepen the hollowness inside you.
A hand touches your arm and you don’t even flinch, knowing already who it is.
“So you know the news,” Taehyung says, looking at Jimin’s car leaving the parking lot. How long has he been standing behind you?
“What news?” you ask, turning your head to look at him.
“Chin-sun is really going to be miss Park officially,” he replies. “Jimin proposed to her this weekend. The wedding is in may. But that’s not important right now. How’s your conversation with him, sweetheart?”
You feel sick. You excuse yourself, mentioning something about needing to catch earlier train and texting him later. Taehyung calls after you but you don’t listen. You start running.
You run until you couldn’t breathe, until there’s a soreness in your throat from the coldness of air. You run until you reach your apartment, stumbling into it on wobbly legs. Your back touches the wall and you slide off, sitting on the floor.
You don’t cry. The tears don’t strain your eyes. It’s only this damned, dull hollowness.
There’s written in the Bible that a guilty person is the one who broke God’s law, who committed a sin. The said person will be judged by their actions after their death. Because every human being has a conscience, the thing that sets the line between good and bad, so when we did something wrong, we should feel remorse.
When you sit on the floor and stare blankly in front of yourself, you know you have sinned.You both did. You wonder if he, trailing patterns of tender touches on his fiancee’s skin, feels the same as you. You wonder if guilt eats him up as much as devours you. Maybe there’s hollow ache in his chest, just like in yours. Maybe he doesn’t feel anything.
And may the God help you both find your redemption.
#jimin smut#bts smut#ksmutclub#smutcentralnet#btswritingcafe#bangtanarmynet#bangtanhq#btsbookclub#maknaesmutsociety#btswriterscollective#bts fanfic#bts scenario#jimin angst#bts jimin#jimin#jimin fic#jimin x reader#jimin scenarios#bts#my writing
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black sails s2e9 liveblog
shit is going to go down in this episode, i can feel it
i never really liked richard guthrie but i am sad he’s dead
i don’t think flint is going to succeed in achieving his goals with peter ashe. that said, i’m interested to see what, if anything, he does accomplish
flint’s backstory with mr gates! and whoah! miranda! straight out of the gates saying you incited a murder ok girl
flint asking ashe to judge him for his end goals, not his means, is very reflective of his overall philosophy. i do wish he’d explain why he had such anger towards lord hamilton. then again, being like ‘im gay’ might hurt his case
i love billy. ‘i love the rigging crew but you are all so annoying. god bles’
i know the passage the pastor is quoting! actually one of the few verses i know decently well, and one of my favorites. ‘though i walk through the shadow of the valley of death, i shall know no fear, for you are with me.’ good for a funeral :(
randall!!!!!!!!! no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
black sails has so many moments where everything goes wrong and i hate it every time. especially since you almost always can see it coming before the characters do. you know vane’s going to attack the ship and you know it’s going to go badly. i’m just glad he doesn’t have the entire walrus crew killed- that seems unusually merciful for him at this point in his arc
flint is more hopeful, and more like mcgraw, than i think i’ve ever seen him. he really thinks he’s going to succeed with ashe. i find it interesting that he views flint as a persona, when i don’t think it’s that simple. even if he feels his actions as flint are separate from who he really is, he still did them. he was flint, he is flint. but he doesn’t have to be flint forever, i guess is his hope- to be odysseus, and to never return to the sea.
eleanor’s slow turn against piracy is suuuuuper interesting. it goes from being her single business prospect to threatening a future of legitimacy. her plan with flint is actually a compromise of both of their dreams of independence, although i don’t think they realize that yet. getting ashe’s cooperation will give them legitimacy, and it may get pardons for all the pirates, but it folds them once more under civilization’s wing, and it’ll mean their freedoms will be curtailed in ways they won’t like. she gets seduced by the power that legitimacy could bring her.
oh eleanor... no.... using your massive power to kill people won’t work out
sweet to see that anne realizes she loves jack beyond what she feels she owes him tho. good scene
miranda.
she was right to say what she said. the truth had to come out. it would have been simpler for flint not to know, but would it have been worth it?
billy managed to convince VANE to save flint? damn but he’s convincing
this episode paints vane in a bit of a different light. black sails is kind of actually about the concept of an independent nassau, which here is what vane is fighting for. hornigold and dufresne may be allied with the law by betraying eleanor, but they’re 1. betraying someone for personal gain and at the expense of everyone who relies on her and 2. by doing so, completely destroying nassau’s future. so that makes vane, who though he is much more violent and lawless than hornigold and dufresne, much more sympathetic because he’s actually fairly honorable and will fight to create/at least preserve a free nassau.
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Real Name: Jackson Vince Nickname : Jakie Age: 32 Occupation: Head of mechanics Base of Operations: America Affiliation:Talon Rôle :Offense
Backstory: Jackson grew up in a very rich, clean and privileged household.where their parents didn't care for them very much. They were there, they just didn't care. His parents made some dicey money choices which lost them a fortune, so Jack had to get a job anywhere he could to help his family. He ended up getting a job at overwatch as Moira’s assistant. They helped with simple things like fetching Moira something she needed or cleaning off the tables after a test. He also helped with fixing machines if they happened to break down. Him and Moira grew a strong relationship, she became like a mother to him. After years of working for Overwatch his parents died during one of their interventions, he blamed them for it and quit. Not long before Moira was fired. After Moira was requited to Blackwatch, she tracked down Jackson to help them out. Jack was head creator of all the equipment and gear Blackwatch used in combat, he even helped Moira create her healing pack.
Personnality: Jakie has a very sweet and caring personality. But his temper is terrible, he doesn't get angered easily but when hes does hes very dangerous. Like screaming and throwing stuff dangerous. But when hes calm is one of the most caring people you will ever meet.
Health : 200hp, 50 shield Primary weapon : Tentacles Left click: Similar to Brigs weapon, he has 6 wip like tentacles coming from his back that do 20 damaged each. But if you are hit by all 6 in a row, you active his passive Right click: You get wipped by all 6 at once, but his passive isn't activated Melee : A wrench Passive: Life steal
Secondary attack: Gas grenade: When thrown blinds enemies for 10 seconds Ability: Grab: His tentacles can grab you and bring you in. But they are very weak, so you can fade, stun, freeze or hit him with a damage heavy weapon to get freed Ultimate: Hes lifted up by his tentacles, able to go very high in the air. When up there he can smack people which deals 110 damage per hit.
Skin: - Classic - Rare : Yellow tint, pink tint, blue tint and white tint - Epic : formal (light) and formal (dark) - Legendary : Teen (dark) Teen (light) - Olympic Games :Referee -Origin: Blackwatch - Halloween : Futakuchi-onna - Christmas : Christmas decorations - Chinese New Year : Xié'è de zhāngyú (Evil octopus) -Uprising: Lab assistant -Anniversary: Moira impression Emotes: - Heroic : His tentacles are resting on the ground, while jack has his hand on his hip, and his other hand is resting by his side doing the ‘Got em’ Hand sign - sitting : His tentacles swirl to become a chair - laughing : Hes pressing his hands into his face and stomach muffeling his laughs - Olympic Games: He pulls out a referee hat and wistle, he blows it, then shakes his finger at you - Halloween : They curl up with their tentacles into a ball, to deliver a childish jump scare - Christmas : Their holding many little bells, and attempting to sing - Chinese New Year: They wiggle their arms and tentacles to look like an octopus -Dance: He just basically does the dance from the ‘Never gonna give you up’ music video -Anniversary: He pulls out a picture of his parents, looks at it and smiles -Uprising: Their not paying attention, sloutching, hands in pockets. until they junps into a much more formal pose. -Pride: He pulls out a demi boy and pansexual pride flag -Boi: They inhale with there hands, then do the BOI -Not worth my time: Their yelling at you, until he just rolls his eye and facepalms
Victory pose: - Heroic: His tentacles are resting on the ground, while jakie has his hand on his hip, and his other hand is resting by his side doing the ‘Got em’ Hand sign - Olyimpic games : His tentacles are juggling 10 different types of balls - Halloween : His hand is peaking through holding a wrench, while some of his tentacles and poking out around the back - Christmas : Each tentacle is holding a mug, even his hands - Chinese New Year : He is holding and open scroll that reads 好遊戲 (Good game) -Uprising: He sitting on a giant pile of papers and empty viles -Anniversary: Hes standing the same way reaper would -Heart: His arms and his tentacles form hearts -Pop star: Their singing into one of their tentacles like a microphone -Hug?: Simple, he wants to give you a hug
Highlight Intro: - Heroic: He has his hands on his hips, and he looks very perky - Olympic games : Hes has a ref hat and wistle. He is looking away then quickly turns around and blows the wistle - Halloween :He sneak attacks the camera, making it fall. So he goes down to camera level to check on it - Christmas : hes hold bells in his hands and tentacles, gingling them around at twirling - Chinese New Year : one side of his arms/tentacles has drums, and the other has drumstick - Uprising: Hes stumbling around carrying a giant stack of papers - Anniversary: They just hit the wip, simple -Ultimate power move: Their tentacles grow longer to get them higher in the air, they look very smug -Kissy face:He blows a kiss -Anger issues: He yells then sucker punches the camera
Voice lines: -Spawning in: “Cant wait to win!” -Spawning after death: “That was *angry silence* suboptimal” -Killing someone: “Taste my steal!” or “Ooh, their dead!” -Seeing an ally kill someone: “You go girl!”
-Spotting a turret: “I have sighted there turret, take cover!” -Destroying the turret: “Turret is down, charge!” -Spotting a sniper: “Sniper! get to shelter!”
-Escorting the payload: “Need a tentacle to move this thing?” -Payload stopped: “Ok who do I have to kill!?” -Attacking timer almost over: “Oh no oh no oh no!” - Defending timer almost over: “We can do it guys! Just a little longer!
-Ultimate: “Hows the weather down there?!” -Being on fire: “Guns a blazing!” -Being damaged boosted by Mercy: “Aww, Thank you Angela!” -Nanoboosted by Ana: “Im gonna rip them to shreds!”
-Olympic Games: “Get off my field!” -Halloween: “Boo! Did I scare ya?” -Christmas: “Happy ho ho ho holidays everyone!” -Chinese new year: “傑基非常蹩腳!Sombra taught me that one!” -Uprising: “How may I assist you, Doctor Moira? -Anniversary: “Reaper! Did ya see that!?”
-Are ya proud of me?: “I wonder what my parents would think of me... I hope they would be proud... -Big brain: “Aww yes, big brain time!” -I don't have anger issues: “I don't have anger issues! Maybe you have anger issues! Huh!? Ever think if that!?” - Not to self: “Try not to die!” - I wonder: I” wonder how Sanjays doing.... Really I miss him” - I swear: “I swear to god! im going to hit someone soon!” -”Ha, loser” - Reaper impression: “Death walks among you!” -Sombra impression: “Eh, i’m Sombra I can hack stuff, eh!” - Sigma impression: “The universe sings to me!!!” -”*Inhale* Boi!” - “God im so gay”
-Volskaya’s Industries: “Aw man, I have stolen so much stuff from here” -Gibraltar: “Filthy heros, they should have stayed dead...”
Outfit inspiration(s): I was very inspired by Moiras tentacles on her concept design, and Brigs design in the Reinhart cinematic.
Music theme(s): It’s the End of the World As We know it, by R.E.M Never Gonna Give You Up, by Rick Astley Blood// Water, by grandson Cradles, by sub urban And, Mr,Blue Sky, By Electric light Orchestra
Voice! Overwatch character bio template made by @teechew
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I wanna talk about the emptiness inside me that I tired to swallow, the black hole that started my downfall into the pits of eating and mood disorders.
1- My dad isn’t my father.
2-I don’t know if god exists.
These are the two things that are the bane of all the shit in my life.
My parents divorced when I was 3 and my mom and I and my sister lived with my grandparents and my messed up uncle. We were dirt poor (now we’re just poor thank god lol) so my childhood was sad mostly with an absent father who would show up once every many months to abuse me emotionally and give me abandonment issues. I’m sad to say I will never know what it’s like to have a father. He is trying to make it up to me now but only mildly. But I’m 22. His presence and support were needed when I was little and my teachers were telling him that I was very bright and that I should go to a better school, or when people told him I am a great artist and that he should buy me art supplies to hone my skills. He never even got me A4 papers. Now I’m burned out and bitter. I know I had insane potential but he only ever gave me issues and made my life more difficult that surviving was more important that any imaginary “potential”. And now I see people who were not as half as good as I was and they got the support and attention of their parents and have got far in life. My mother was a good parent growing up but the poor woman could not be blamed for not signing me up in fancy schools or drawing classes or whatnot because she was too busy being a single parent of two children working all sorts of jobs because the alimony is worth 250 dollars. What a joke. I’m broke now and I got through 250 in a week if I’m careful. What man would let his children go through poverty when he’s very wealthy. I love him and I understand that he has his issues to but I will never forgive him for what I had to go through. At 15 no one wanted me thats when my ED started. My mom was working in another city and she didn’t want me to live with her anymore. She send me back to my grandparents house where my uncle pulled a butchers knife on me. Who pulls a butchers knife on a 15 year old child ? My aunt instead of defending me gave me a talking to and told me to not tell my mom. I couldn’t believe my ears but I still didn’t tell my mom. Then I moved in with that aunt because I couldn’t stay in that house. But because my mother had body shamed me so much ( I was going through puberty and started to grow the tiniest little boobs and the tiniest little hips) and my other aunt who was pregnant the year before and had to also live with my grandmother as well as her husband and children would shame for whatever I ate. Soon her children followed suit. I was the tiniest boniest little thing but she shamed me nonetheless because food costs money I guess. At that time the only thing I snacked on were apples because I loved them so much and we again we were poor so we didn’t have delicious snacks lying around so apples were the only sweet thing there. How much were 1-3 apples a day gonna cost you ? Cheap yellow apples.. I could never do that to a 13 year old or anyone for that matter .
Does god exist ?
Are you there ?
Do you see me ?
Why am I here ?
Am I doing good ?
Am I not doing good ?
What’s the point of it all ?
If you’re god and you control everything did I do something to you to offend you ? Cause my life feels like a maze and I’m a rat and the maze is also a wheel and I’m just running but I’m still in my place. Im not even moving in the maze. If you wrote my life why isn’t it making any lyrical sense ?
Can you talk to me ?
Can you lend me a hand ?
Because I haven’t felt like the main character in my life for four years now… that’s a lot for someone to not fell like the MC in their OWN life.
So I was raised Muslim and questioning the existence of god in the Muslim community is a big no no. When I was a kid at least I knew for was there and if someone bullied me or did me wrong they were gonna get what’s coming for them sooner or later. But people who have wronged me so badly are thriving so what if this is it ? Also all the injustice in the world the racism sexism sex trafficking slavery that still exists countries that bully other counties and leaders that sell their own people. Sadly third world countries are enough to make you doubt gods existence. I just don’t want to be duped. Also what is up with the homophobia ? Religion to me seems like a big pretext for sick people to beat kill rape others. And this whole holier than thou attitude religious people have is such a peeve. So god, are you there ? Do you love me ? Or are you mad that my faith is weak and this depression and eating disorders are your way of getting back at me ? Because which are you ? Are you living and merciful ? Or are you scary and dishonoring sub-doing ? Because if someone told me they love me and were kind to me but at the same time messed my life behind the scenes and when I confronted them they said oh I’m punishing you because I live you and I want you to get closer to me I would just call them toxic and be like why the f ??? I’m not gonna lie the idea of being an atheist is so tempting but my brain can’t Handle the possibility of a god not existing because whenever I’m in trouble I go inwards and I talk to him god allah the universe u know I just know someone is listening and you wanna tell me it’s just me talking to myself ? Ouch And what is up with everyone assigning god the male gender ? That’s some sexist stuff right there. Also aren’t divinities supposed to transcend the concept of gender and genitalia ?? The religious inside me is freaking out right now over everything I wrote and I’m scared god would strike me or something over what I’m saying but I’m also tempted by the possibility of god just up there like good girl don’t trust what those misogynistic men have twisted religion into. Good on you for using the brain I GAVE you ! And he’s be like of course I love you I love the women I live the in between I love the gays I made you ! Of course I love you even the most broken ones are so beautiful to me. So If you were real how do I not make you mad at me cause I don’t want to piss off the all encompassing all knowing obviously do you see gif how so much of religion is fear. I don’t get it. So how do I do it without going crazy ? Also I’d you didn’t know us Muslims aren’t a allowed to leave the religion then go back etc like I see a lot of white people try everything out there and it’s just like isn’t that what we should do not be raised in a certain religious but like sample everything then decide based on how we are like some exchange program or as simple as a buzzfeed quiz. Because I didn’t choose this so It’s not an informed decision. Wondering if god exists probably stems from my fear of dying. Like everyone on this planet I don’t know when or where that’ll be so I have some unexplained anxieties. So I wonder what’s gonna happen after I bite the dust. It’s like sitting in the waiting room of a dentist you’re scared shitless you see people go in and you try to distract yourself you read some magazines or mess around in your phone etc. You know you avoided the call to the dentists office as much as you could but it was inevitable. Idk what I’m saying. Anyways so I’m sad because I’m unfocused in life school career like the driven overachieved millionaires Elon musks Angelina Jolies and Oprah’s out there so I’m not successful but when I try to focus I can’t because I’m reminded it’s only a few years and blinks until it’s my turn to go into the dentist office so what’s the point and a big majority of my life had been shot so far so..
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