#“my heart is black and it beats for you
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azlovesem · 1 hour ago
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Some ancient srupid old usrless duck ssz goif religion customs from wsy way way back fie hard Emma. Thats why i have to kill them. I hope you didnt write that stupid bad gibberish. Abcinet ideas sgoyld be turfed with the religions that supoort then. You see me beating all those losers toba pulp right. Fuck ancient n old sweetoe ots time for it to go. I can nevef clear anything up with you you mever gave me any real chance to. Thats how your class is with mine. Like youre better or something. Better than i am. I think we re gonna have to find that out the extremem hard way. Youre gonna clear shit up all right trust me. Or i will. Buf youre defintely in the wrong for whatever you did snd people paid s price for it Emma. Is it the fucon people in the boat? What is it whats your fuckn problem and are eilling yo do snything sbout ut. I sm and i eill 100 precent.its slresdy on motion. You know where i am. Are ya gonna wait til after again? Lets talk. You know we have to. Something happened between us. We csnt undo it i would if i could. This earthnis getting what it deserves Emma whether yiu like it or not. And yeah i do have an extremely sad past. Its unfortunate i fell right througb the cracks of time. I tried to make up for it bug knce certsin things are done they are done. But us never done nog until one if us ste dead and you know it. We ll nevef sytop thonki g about it or each other. So letd find out. Do t be so stubborn. Everyone geys ehat they deaerve. Thats why Gabriel chose me not you or anyone else. Im very unpredictsblly upset lately thetes no telling what ill do. You can take that threat to the bank: should i shoot upmthar concert? With my stashed ak? Juat fire dtom a covered position at the line? Nah. Those kids never fid ntutn to me. But you did Emma. Youre breaking my heart. Im getting worse with my language and my action amd words. Myveyes will turn black is that whatvyou want.
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Emma Watson
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nymphea0 · 2 days ago
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Kurkans Mate.
Kurkans Prisoner.
Yan! Ishakan x reader.
Part 3.
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Manhwa :약탈혼 / predatory marriage
/ 약탈혼 (완전판)
: Adult Manhwa (18+)
Author/Illustrations : Saha / Hera(Art)
Word Count : 3,77K Word
Hello.. Neva again here, I hope you are well and happy and have a nice days, Is beens so longs i dont post any story, anyways, hope you enjoy my story love ♡.
might have some bad grammars, correct me if there are any mistakes in the words in the story I wrote. Anyways i hope you all enjoys my story,love.- Neva🦋🦋
-Kurkans Mate Pt. 1
-Kurkans Mate Pt. 2
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The sound of snorting and wind can be felt and heard, your body feels like people riding horses in general, it's normal because it's a horse and the warmth of a hand hugging you.
Wait, what? Horse and hand?!.
Your eyes that were closed suddenly opened wide, the night sky full of stars was the first thing you saw.
Then you saw it, the strange man you had helped in the forest and with his ungratefulness made Esmera your savior faint, and here you are now, kidnapped by a strange man named Ishakan!?.
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Ishakan while holding the horse's reins, he looked at you who looked at him as if Ishakan was a barbarian, where he just chuckled softly.
"Did you sleep well, rabbit?" The deep voice and full of temptation seemed to mock you.
"You?! How dare you kidnap me!? Are you crazy?" Growling and staring fiercely at the man behind your body.
Instead of getting an answer, you got a laugh, a straightforward laugh full of deep voice.
"Calm down, rabbit, why are you so fierce? I told you, you're my mate"
Ishakan looked at you with an amused look, and a grin around his lips?! You wanted to slap him so bad!
Of course, you didn't run out of ideas, moving right and left, screaming at him, which in the end was in vain and ended up with your throat hurting from screaming.
Ishakan saw you trying to get out of his grip, just chuckled in annoyance at your actions.
Ohh, how this rabbit is so small, so fragile, and soft, so in need of protection.
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Along the desert road at night, you spent your time contemplating, your family was all gone, your savior Esmera was knocked unconscious by the person you helped, and now you were being kidnapped by the person you helped ungratefully.
Meanwhile, Ishakan, he just grinned a little looking at you who had surrendered, Ishakan would never give you up to the world, you were the only Antrabeth who survived, his savior, his mate.
Ishakan had thought of many things he would do with you when he arrived at the palace, Bathing you, feeding you food and dates so that your body would be more fertile.
Marrying you and making you his queen, taking you here and there when he worked as a king.
Oh... how there were so many things he wanted to do with you.
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That night, a pair of two people on horses, passing through the desert accompanied by the night wind and the stars shining brightly in the beautiful sky there.
Without realizing it, Ishakan looked down, where he saw you, sleeping soundly, of course, you must be tired of screaming, struggling, even slapping him wanting to be released.
Chuckling a little, how full of energy this rabbit was. Ishakan's hands gently fix your sleeping position, close to the warmth of his body, wrapped in his soft and warm black robe.
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A soft pillow, the scent of roses all over the room, you increasingly bury your face in this soft pillow like a cloud.
Pillow...
Pillow....
Soft like a cloud...
Wait... what?! Pillow?!
Your eyes open wide, your body automatically sits up, your heart beats fast in panic!.
You were kidnapped! By the man you saved!. Looking around the large room, candles on special gold hangers, 2 gold sticks at the top have a shape like a cup that emits smoke, it must be the incense aroma you smell in this room!.
Luxurious carpets embroidered intricately, tall pillars covered in gold and intricate patterns, around the window silk fabrics move gently.
Around the bed you occupy, surrounded by colorful translucent fabrics such as yellow, red and dark colors.
This room is so luxurious, you swear even your family in heaven will not believe what you are experiencing right now!.
This room is even bigger than your family's wooden house in the Antra tribe!.
You accidentally look down at your hand, your previously white clothes that you wore before, have been replaced with intricate embroidery clothes, soft silk fabric, kurkans patterns.
Damn!, who changed your clothes?! You hope it's not the man who kidnapped you.
As fast as lightning, you stand up and run towards the window only to see that below the window is a lotus pond that you are sure is deep or not. It will be very clear if you jump your fate is determined.
Between dying or running out of breath from drowning! You are not even sure if there is a crocodile or a snake in there.
Turning back, only to be silent! There at a door. Standing a woman or... a man? Holding a tray of food?, You are not sure! Big body, face like a man, long and curly hair but wearing a dress?! Look at the biceps! You are sure you will die if you get hit by his/her fist.
You and the person at the door, both stared in silence. Only the sound of burning incense, the sound of the wind and the light blowing of the sound of the gold ornaments hanging on each window.
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The return of Ishakan after disappearing for more than 12 hours made the Kurkans palace experience an uproar because their king returned with a woman in his arms?!.
With blue hair like the sky, it clearly did not look like an illusion or a magic medicine to change hair color. So fragile and small! Very different from the people in the Kurkans tribe!.
Genin, Haban, Mura as Ishakan's close aides, could only stare doubtfully at Ishakan who walked past them casually!.
Mura looked at Haban and Genin, apparently he wasn't the only one who was confused!
"You two... did you know this would happen?"
Both Genin and Haban shook their heads.
"That blue hair as blue as the sky? Isn't the Antra tribe extinct?"
Genin asked Haban and Mura.
"Well they should have been extinct, I mean, 5 months ago their village was looted, mass murdered by the kingdom's knights and wizards"
Haban answered while grinning and getting a love punch by Mura.
"Judging from how His Highness held the woman... could it be that 3 months ago in the forest... was that the woman His Highness was talking about?"
Haban asked Genin, but the woman just stared doubtfully.
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That night Ishakan asked Mura and Genin and the Kurkans tribe to prepare for his wedding with his wild rabbit!.
The Kurkans tribe had never seen the woman Ishakan brought, they only thought that maybe it was Princess Leah de Estia. Because there were some of the Kurkans who were saved by Leah from slavery.
Genin was one of the people Ishakan asked to bring you date juice in the morning.
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Holding a tray and walking so upright like a skilled warrior, Genin opened the door.
That's where she saw the woman who was kidnapped by Ishakan, with blue hair like the sky, looking at her who was silent.
The woman's eyes ... In Genin's entire life she had never seen someone with eyes or hair like that!
Princess Leah de Estia had snow-white hair and purple eyes but that was not uncommon, there were also some nobles who had hair and eyes like her.
But blue and eyes like the galaxy ... that was another case, a rarity.
Genin swallowed for the first time, the woman in front of her was smaller than herself, she was afraid that if she spoke loudly she might destroy the woman in front of her.
Walking to close the door and turning around, holding the tray slowly and placing it on the table.
Genin stared at the blue-haired woman, Child of nature, Antrabeth tribe, Tribe of 1001 nights, a tribe that goes against the laws of nature.
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Are you looking at a woman or a man ?! in front of you with a pounding heart!, the gender of the person in front of you is hard not to question!.
"Good morning Miss, I am Genin, His Highness Ishakan's aide, according to his orders, I will guard and guard you for 5 days before your wedding and His Highness Ishakan"
A woman's voice! The person in front of you is a woman!?.
Wait... what did she say just now? Married?!
"What?! Married!?!"
You stared at Genin in disbelief!.
"Sorry I refuse to marry!"
With a quick attitude, you refused.
"Unfortunately we Kurkans do not have the words no, refuse, or don't want"
Acting simply, Genin poured date milk juice into a glass and gave it to you.
You stared at the glass that Genin gave you in disbelief.
"This drink is not poisoned, it is made from milk and the taste of dates that His Highness Ishakan picked directly from the tree"
Genin realized your hesitation, said frankly.
You who do not feel good refusing other people's gifts, took the glass.
Genin herself can see, how small you are compared to her, your hands alone seem not half of her hands.
You drink the date juice slowly, the taste is unique, you have never drunk juice or milk like this. It is delicious, soft and sweet, but not too sweet.
"Dates are very good for fertility and sexual arousal, especially young dates, His Highness Ishakan chooses them carefully"
Genin said frankly.
You almost spat out the date milk juice that you drank!.
Fertility and arousal she said?!.
.
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The afternoon came, Genin, said that, while you were married to Kurkan, according to Kurkan tradition, both you and Ishakan were forbidden to meet each other, for 5 days Ishakan would welcome guests, this was the first day.
As for you, you were forbidden to meet guests, until the 6th day where the wedding ceremony began.
"After the wedding ceremony, Your Highness will spend 5 days and 5 nights with Your Highness, during that time, it coincides with the time of the full moon, the time of Kurkans heat"
You stared Genin in horror! No!! You don't want to marry the person who kidnapped you or even spent 5 days and 5 nights!!.
Feeling that you want to reject the marriage, genin for the second time in her life became melancholic.
Genin told that she had a human husband who she kidnapped, Genin was an aide to the king of the kurkans before Ishakan, the king was so cruel and very tyrannical, both Genin and Haban really didn't like how the king ruled.
Day and night Genin tried to find how to leave but unfortunately when she returned home, she didn't see his husband at home, but in the royal palace, the king tortured her husband, even when she begged the king still punished him.
You looked at Genin sadly. You didn't think that woman could be so strong.
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That afternoon you spent going to the garden where Genin had made sure there were no guests or kurkans around.
A soft silk dress with a soft ivory white kurkans pattern. This garden is beautiful, flowers of various patterns there are dahlias, pheonies, roses, and so on.
You don't dare to pick the flowers, you just touch them admiring how soft and beautiful they are, seeing butterflies flying around the flowers, you didn't think that there was a garden as beautiful as this in the heat of this palace ecosystem.
While the genin from her point of view, seeing how you touch the flowers afraid of damaging and hurting them, surrounded by butterflies flying around you, as if they were dancing and protecting you.
This is the first time Genin has seen the Antrabeth tribe. even though I've gotten to know you and talked to you, it still feels unreal, a tribe famous for its myths, suddenly extinct, but look here.
Maybe you are the only one who survived.
Along the garden path, the genin's heart is getting more and more anxious, At the end of the garden, for some reason the genin's feelings are getting more and more anxious.
You walk straight towards a large tree, there you see a man sitting in a wheelchair. With a blanket around his feet, the man looked at Genin and you, then smiled softly as he looked at Genin.
You looked at Genin and the man alternately, confused.
"Lady, this is my husband that I talked about earlier with you"
It turned out that the feeling of anxiety felt by the genin was her husband, she didn't expect her husband to be in the park too.
You looked at the man, smiled softly and greeted him.
"Hello, nice to meet you"
Being formal but friendly, the man just smiled and nodded weakly at you.
A strong wind hit you, well this is the desert, a location where wind and weather cannot be predicted.
The man's blanket fell right in front of your feet, your eyes automatically saw the blanket, bent down and picked up the blanket and looked at Genin's husband, you were stunned.
That man... he has no legs..
You were silent digesting what happened, Genin quickly took the blanket and put it back on her husband, afraid that her husband would feel uncomfortable with your confused gaze.
Silence fell over the three of you.
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Finally you were able to get out of the silence, walking back with Genin to the room you had previously occupied.
You didn't know that around the palace building in the Kurkans kingdom, there were many Kurkans servants and guards who saw you walking.
They had never seen blue hair like that, it was a very, very unusual color.
The antrabeth people who were believed to be a myth but 3 months ago were considered extinct, but there you were, maybe as the only remaining antrabeth tribe.
So beautiful and pretty, so small and fragile, they were sure that if they spoke loudly, you might be destroyed.
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.
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Tomorrow has arrived, you only have 3 days left before you are about to become part of the Kurkans, you want to run, go and return to Esmera.
But you don't know where the Esmera forest really is, you might die or end up being kidnapped in that barren desert.
During that day, you kept thinking about her husband Genin, seeing from how he smiled weakly, it was certain that he had no spirit of life.
Losing a leg, is a curse for humans who have previously experienced walking and running.
That night you reflected on yourself, in your hand was a small glass bottle complete with a lid.
You found it right on the dressing table of this bedroom, well even though initially there were contents in it, namely small round diamonds.
You thought back to the words of your father when you were 10 years old.
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• Antra Tribe, Northern Forest.
A dense and fertile shady forest. So warm when the sunlight shyly slipped through the gaps in the leaves and trees.
"But father why do we have to do that? What if the person we help ends up hurting us? instead?"
Your father, sitting in front of you, the two of you sitting on a woven rug made of wool, not much but good enough for a simple decoration.
"Do you know why our tribe is known as the tribe of nature's children?"
"Because we... are close to nature?"
Your young self tilted your head in confusion, your father just chuckled seeing how cute his daughter was.
"Not wrong, but not right either"
"Nature is the source of life for all living things in this world, nature gives rain to the land, the land gives grass to animals, produces delicious and nutritious meat and milk"
You listened to your father speak carefully.
"Forests, trees, leaves provide oxygen for living things, clean air, sunlight provides life resources for plants to grow."
"Nature is good, even though many humans or animals damage them, nature never reprimands them for what they do"
"We are known as nature's children because we are down to earth, we maintain our dignity as nature itself"
Your father saw you trying to understand him, chuckling softly your father continued he spoke.
"We follow nature, they give without receiving anything in return, nature gives to those in need, nature also doesn't care whether they receive it or not"
"Because that's nature, and we as the antra tribe, follow every aspect of nature, we will help those in need, and we don't need to be afraid if they torture or hurt us, nature is fair, they will repay the pain to creatures who love nature"
Chuckling at your confused expression, your father stroked the top of your head gently.
"Listen my sweet Apple bloom, one day you will find a situation where you see living creatures, who have shortcomings, suffering, restlessness, sadness, and loss of zest for life"
"I want, when that time comes, help them, as nature gives and loves, we the antra tribe also give and love"
Speaking softly and lovingly, your father stroked the top of your head.
"Because in truth, the blood that flows inside us, all aspects of our bodies, our tears, our hair are more than what people out there think, we are not a tribe that goes against the laws of nature, but a tribe that is like nature, our blood, hair or tears give and love just like nature, all aspects of ourselves will as we wish, 1 or more drops of our blood or strands of hair or tears, can change destiny, life, the imperfections of people who suffer."
"Understand my applebloom?"
You looked at your father increasingly confused, but could only nod your head.
Your father just laughed seeing you increasingly confused, patting your head affectionately.
Ahh ... how adorable his daughter is.
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1 drop of blood, then that's enough, at least the man's legs are back, but you're not sure, so you prick your index finger with a needle, making one by one the drops of blood fall into a small glass bottle.
3 drops should be enough.
Gently closing the glass bottle with the lid, you gently wiped your fingers so that the blood would not come out again.
You were not sure if this was the right decision, but you felt sad and sorry for Genin's husband, the man must have suffered a lot while he was alive.
Looking out the window, you stared at the beautiful shining stars in the sky.
Waiting for tomorrow, to give the bottle of your blood, to Genin for her husband.
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Tag list; @snowflakes666 @nerdygoateepeanut @blurryperrtymoonlight @luminethebest @scenicelixir @n4muqr @cannyyyyy @athena-roy @sirenetheblogger @thehopingfairy
©️Nymphea0 2024 ,OG story, Project Dark Manhwa Character Series.
Please dont steal my work, or use without my permissions, Always be good people Dear. Much love, Neva🦋🦋.
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felassan · 20 hours ago
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David Gaider on Morrigan, under a cut for length:
"Morrigan began, waaaay back, as a bit of Morgan le Fey (hence the Dark Ritual) mixed with Delirium from Sandman. The Delirium elements subsided into more of a weird cadence of speech as my idea of Morrigan solidified - more cynical, wanting to connect but unable to. Originally, we were looking for a Middle Eastern actress to play her, as Shoreh Aghdashloo was slated to play Flemeth and we wanted a similar sounding voice -- but it was a real struggle, and then Shoreh unfortunately had to drop out to do a movie. So suddenly we had nobody for either character! Then, one day, Caroline (our VO Director) comes in with a recording sent by a rep for Claudia Black - who hadn't done game VO back then but wanted to get into it. And it was Claudia doing a slow *beat poet* rendition of Baby Got Back. I kid you not. I was already a fan, so I lost my goddamn mind. (Yes, I still have the recording. No, you cannot have it.) Naturally, we jumped on that immediately. As I recall, this was met with resistance from higher up - they had this image of Morrigan as young, like 18 years old (no idea where this came from) and complained that Claudia sounded "too old". Them: "She sounds like she smokes three packs a day!" Me: "That's what I like about her!" Caroline and I were determined, so we pushed ahead. We had to agree to get Claudia to sound "younger", which I was dubious about. The first two sessions we asked her to pitch her voice up and it was AWFUL. Claudia had to focus on sounding "right" instead of acting. So Caroline and I did the sneaky thing, and on the third session we asked her to just... act. Use her natural voice. We loved her performance so much we had the feeling that the team would love it too and forget their nonsense. They did. My best memory of Claudia was when we first met. I'd been flown down to LA for the initial sessions to help the major DAO actors find the character "voice" and, boy, was I nervous. It didn't help that I was a huge fanboy of Claudia's and she was going to be the *first* of all the actors I'd talk to. Caroline gave me a list of rules for "how to talk to a celebrity" - top of the list: DO NOT COMPARE THEM TO OTHER ACTORS. So I meet Claudia, and I'm sweating. I think: I'll start from the beginning, right? "Well, when I started writing Morrigan, the voice in my head was Helena Bonham Carter..." Claudia gives me a look and tilts her head. "So what you're saying is... I'm a very cheap version of Helena Bonham Carter." I'm mortified. I melt. I gasp and stutter and she lets me implode for maybe 30 seconds before she throws her head back and LAUGHS. So wicked. I love her instantly and forever. For the next several days, whenever she's in the booth and I make a comment to Caroline - which she can't hear, because the booth is sound-proof - she'd say "Oh, does he want it more like Helena?" And I'd melt into the desk in renewed mortification and she'd LAUGH. This is Claudia in a nutshell. Morrigan became a real touchstone for me, the heart of DAO. Way beyond her initial inspirations. Some said "she's just an ice queen" like some I'd written (Viconia, Bastila, etc.) but such categories are very reductive, I find. She had a voice I could instantly slip into, every time, without fail. The problem, after DAO was said and done, was with how we were going to honour the Dark Ritual going forward... or, more to the point, how we *weren't* going to honour it. I wasn't willing to let her go, however, so I had to figure it out. BUT... that's a story for another day. CORRECTION: A friend reminds me that the beat poet recording Claudia did was "Smack That" and NOT "Baby Got Back", and now I need to go give it another listen just because I can."
[source thread]
David Gaider: "Actually, when Shoreh's movie wrapped she came back and asked if the role was still available - her grandkids were VERY excited for her to be in a game. It wasn't, but as I recall Caroline was all "well, we have this role in ANOTHER game we're making..." Hence why she ended up in ME2." [source]
David Gaider: "Tali's accent was purely created by the actress - which made it a bit of an Issue when the time came to have more Quarians in ME2. "Do we get the actors to all try and mimic... whatever she's doing?" I'm certain Caroline could write a book about how THAT all went down." [source]
User: "I also never knew that Delerium was part of the inspiration for her (atleast in the beginning)." David Gaider: "It'd be difficult to see that now. The very first drafts were a lot more eccentric - more like Flemeth, I'd say, but times ten. The feedback I got was that she's a bit too LALALULU and I had to agree (and my idea of her was changing anyhow). So that slowly got weeded out." [source]
User: "What had you seen Claudia in that made you such a big fan already? (was it pitch black?)" David Gaider: "Originally? Farscape. Then Pitch Black, yes. I tried watching Stargate just for her, but coming in so late I kinda bounced off it." [source]
User: "My only complaint is, and has always been, why is she the straight romance when everything about her screams lesbian?" David Gaider: "I would have written it, if it’d been allowed (remember this was VERY new back then), but after all was said and done I’m kind of glad I didn’t. The friendship path I wrote for Morrigan with a female Warden is perhaps my favourite but of writing I did from back then." [source]
User: "Morrigant to me was such a fantastic character because of the way she sounded! Her introduction in DAO is iconic to me "Well, Well, what have we here?"" David Gaider: "You have NO IDEA how many takes that took. 😳" [source]
User: "Claudia Black did an amazing job with every line in every game." David Gaider: "She absolutely did. It took some time for her to get her bearings, but by the end of our first few sessions I actually went back and re-wrote a bunch of lines to match Claudia's voice. She informed so much of who Morrigan became." [source]
User: "are YOU the reason we see so much morrigan after dao? (positively, she is one of my all time favourite characters)" David Gaider: "Yes and no. She was always considered, by both me and the team, to be a "face" of Dragon Age. I'd have put her in DA2 if there'd been room, but thankfully that limitation is what allowed Flemeth to grow into her own." [source]
User: "were Morrigan and Flemeth always supposed to be Chasind, and/or did the Chasind have any ties to northern Thedas in earlier drafts of the character? The Chasind are universally depicted with dark skin except for Morrigan and Flemeth." David Gaider: "I don't think we had a very clear idea of the Chasind in general back then - they kind of got abandoned as a concept once we cut the Human Barbarian origin for DAO, and were only picked up again later." [source]
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thememestrider · 1 day ago
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40k Sfw Alphabet - Vulkan
I'm pretty new to 40k tumblr, so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm yet to see many sfw/nsfw alphabets for our men, and I don't think I've seen any for the primarchs. As a big fan of the alphabets, I thought I'd do some; for my own enjoyment more than anything, but I'm hoping some of you guys will enjoy them too :)
I'm kicking off the biggest, strongest and most huggable of the primarchs: Vulkan.
Apologies for typos and ooc/lore inaccuracies
Please enjoy
A - Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
I think it goes without saying that Vulkan would be a very affectionate partner. He wears his heart on his sleeve and unlike many of his brothers, he's not one to hide or suppress his emotions. If he loves someone, he will want them to know it and he will want everyone else around to know it. Everyday. All the time. Without missing a beat.
Vulkan would show his affection visibly through physical touch, gestures and by saying it outright. Everyday, he will say "I love you". Every chance he gets, he's going to have a hand on you, be it touching your thigh when you're both seated at a meeting or resting his hand on your lower back while walking the halls of his flagship.
B - Best friend (What are they like as a friend? How would the friendship start?)
Vulkan is be the ultimate emotional-support bestie. This isn't even a head cannon: this is lore-accurate fact. When he reunited with Rogal Dorn, he gave him a hug. Before the Heresy, he believed in trying to redeem Konrad Curze. He is the most empathetic and emotionally intelligent of the primarchs, and all everybody knows it. As a friend, he'd be damn-near perfect.
As for how your friendship would start, I think it'd be pretty easy/straightforward. Right from the start, you'd feel how good the vibes around this man were and he'd feel the same way. You two would just click right away. It'd start with a simple conversation- maybe you bumped into each other at some political event, or maybe you met on the training grounds and wound up sparring or training together. From there, your friendship would only grow, and it would last for the rest of your lives.
C - Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Is it just me or does it feel like a lot of these are almost self explanatory? OF COURSE Vulkan likes to cuddle. When you are in his arms, he knows you are safe. He knows you feel loved. And, as I very much see his love language being physical touch, cuddles make HIM feel loved.
He has no preference as to how you two cuddle- just whatever you prefer. He does like it when you lay atop his chest, where he can lay his arms across your back, hold you like a comforter, and keep you both warm.
D - Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
At his core, Vulkan is a protector. A builder. So having a place where he can feel secure and be at peace isn't just something he would want; it's something he needs. And when you become a part of his life, this need would only grow deeper.
Since Vulkan is a black-smith, and therefore already apt at building and using his hands (wink) I can see him being a skilled cook. He'd love cooking for you, too- it's another way he can show how much he loves you.
E - Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Of all the primarchs, Vulkan would be the best to have a break up with. As mentioned earlier, he is extremely empathetic and he has very good emotional intelligence. If he were to break up with you, it'd be with an in-person conversation where he explains how he feels and let's you down very, very gently. If you were to break up with him, he would understand, and try to ensure that you both part on good terms. However, behind closed doors, he'd be heart broken and he would grieve the loss of your relationship deeply and agonisingly.
F - Fiancé (How to they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)
Commitment goes hand-in-hand with loyalty, and Vulkan is one of the most loyal men out there. As soon as he knows he loves you, he's going to want to keep you. He wants you to be his, and he wants to be yours.
G - Gentle (How gentle are they? Both physically and emotionally?)
Do I really need to answer this?
H - Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it and what is it like?)
Again- do I really need to answer this?
I - I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
I could see him saying it pretty quickly, what with how quickly and stronglyI see you both bonding emotionally. With how intune he is with his feelings, I think he'd recognise fairly quickly that what he feels for you is love and that you need to know it- if not to be in a relationship with you, then at least to give you a heads up in case you didn't feel the same way.
J - Jealous (How jealous do they get? What are they like when they're jealous?)
Vulkan is loyal. He trusts you as much as he hopes you trusts him. As such, he doesn't get jealous- he doesn't feel he has any reason to be.
K - Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Long, deep and absolutely brimming with love. Gentle, too. Even in more passionate moments, he'd never hurt you, not even by accident. He likes to kiss you on the lips, mainly, as he considers that to be the most emotionally intimate. That said, he does enjoy it when, while laying on top of him, you kiss him down his neck and along his collarbones.
L - Little Ones (How are they around children?)
Vulkan is maybe the only primarch who is 100% perfect with children. He's just the sweetest man there ever was. I think he'd like the idea of having children, too, but only if it was what you wanted. If you didn't want kids, he wouldn't push the issue.
M - Mornings (How are morning spent with them?)
Slow and sleepy. Neither of you would want to get up. Vulkan, in particular, would simply love to spend the entire day holding you, dozing off to the feeling of your body pressed against his.
N - Nights (How are nights spent with them?)
He's definitely falling asleep with his arms around you. Either spooning you from behind or holding you across his chest like a blanket.
O - Openess (When will they start revealing things about themselves? Do they reveal things slowly over time or all at once?)
As soon as it's clear how much you two click, Vulkan will begin to open up to you. Slowly at first so as not to overwhelm you, and from there, at about the same rate you feel comfortable opening up with him. I think he'd really dislike it if you kept things from him, too. Your happiness is his number one concern, and the idea that you didn't feel comfortable or safe telling him something would distress him very much.
P - Patience (How easily are they angered?)
Already, Vulkan has the patience of a saint. But with you? It's damn-near infinite. It might be thinner if he's stressed or worn down, but if he snaps at you or says something a little too sharp, he will realise immediately and apologise right away.
Q - Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail or do they forget the minor things?)
You're the most important thing in this man's life, of course he's going to remember everything about you. Moreover, he's going to use that knowledge for the gifts he crafts for you in his forge. Did you once mention off-handed that daisies were your favourite flower? Don't be surprised if the next day, you find a box with a daisy pendant left for you on your duchess. You mention how much you'd love a pet to keep you company while he's away crusading? Vulkan's going to get you a kitten or a puppy the next day- and he'll know which to get you, because he'll remember whether you're a cat person or a dog person.
R - Remember (What's their favourite memory of the relationship?)
I thought long and hard about this for a while, but honestly I struggled to come up with a specific example. Maybe you guys tell me in the comments or the reblogs what you think it might be, based on how you'd imagine your relationship with Vulkan.
S - Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Because you're a human, Vulkan would be very physically protective of you. He would want you living as far from any war as was possible, and even then, wherever you would end up living would be heavily defended by his legion. I could see him keeping you on Nocturne or Prometheus, as they are his and his sons' homeworlds, but both those places are very hostile in of themselves (Im pretty sure Nocturne is even considered a Death World), so maybe he'd set you up on a peaceful pleasure world or something of the like; overseen by a regiment of Salamanders, of course.
Vulkan is not only the largest primarch, but he's one of the most capable in combat. He's also a perpetual, and therefore functionally immortal. For these reasons, he doesn't need much physical protection- at least none of the kind you might be able to offer. But on the other hand, Vulkan absolutely needs something to guard his heart. He is a deeply emotional man and is very sensitive to grief and the suffering of others. When he looses his sons in combat or fails to save innocents from death, he will need your comfort. He'll need you to hold him tight, maybe even offer your shoulder for him to cry on. He'll need your assurance and your unconditional love. Of course, all of these things you're more than happy to give. As much as he needs and more.
T - Try (How much effort do they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts and everyday tasks?)
Vulkan would love nothing more than to go all out with all of these things a the time, but the demands of war and his duties as a primarch make it difficult to consistently. When he has the time, he will absolutely spoil you.
Regardless of how busy he is, you would always be receiving many, many gifts- jewellery, ornaments and cute, personalised knick-knacks that hand crafted by Vulkan in his forge.
U - Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
If you're not careful, his protectiveness over you could start to feel overwhelming, especially during the events of the Heresy. Additionally, his desire to tend to your every emotional need may lead to you feeling smothered. But the moment you tell him how you're feeling, Vulkan would listen. He might slip back into those habits every now and then, but again, with time and good communication, he would eventually change for the better. Doesn't mean he'll stop protecting you, though- it just means he'll be less overt about it.
V - Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Vulkan is about the humblest man you could ever meet- vanity isn't a word in his vocabulary.
W - Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Without question.
X - Xtra (A random head cannon for them)
The Salamanders would revere you just as much as they do their father. They'd see you as their parent, and they'd hope that you would see them as your sons. Being assigned to your personal guard would be among their greatest honours, and you would come to know every marine on your guard personally. When it was their turn to return to Nocturne to see their families, you might even come along, for if the Salamanders are your sons, their families are your families as well.
Y - Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like in a partner, or in general?)
Arrogance, a lack of empathy, selfishness and anything synonymous with those three things.
Z - Zzz (What are some sleeping habits of theirs?)
Despite appearances, I can see Vulkan struggling with insomnia and even nightmares, purely because he's such a sensitive man thrust into the most brutal and horrific wars. The insomnia would ease the moment he had you to hold at night, but his nightmares would take longer to fade. If he wakes up in a state, gasping for air and drenched in sweat, he will need you to comfort him- to listen as he talks through what he saw. To cradle his head or hold him him around the waist as he drifts back to sleep. This will become even more frequent following his torture at the hands of Curze.
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megalony · 24 hours ago
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I'm Scared- Part 2
Here is the second part to my Eddie Diaz imagine, thank you all for the lovely feedback on the first part. I hope you will all like this.
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Eddie Diaz Masterlist
Part 1
Summary: All Hell breaks loose when, while on a call, a bomb blows up the fire truck and Eddie's wife ends up becoming trapped beneath it. And the team have to fight to get her out.
Enjoy.
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Eddie ran his fingers through his hair and tilted his head to one side. The strong smell of black coffee did nothing to wake him up and the caffeine wasn't making him feel any better.
He wasn't sure how long he had been awake for. He had done a twelve hour shift when the accident happened. (Y/n)'s surgery had taken all night and dragged on into the morning and Eddie couldn't sleep a wink through that time.
He'd been making phone calls, trying to get hold of (Y/n)'s parents, contacting his own parents down in Texas. He rang Chris to talk to him once Buck had graciously taken to look after him so Carla could go home. It had taken him half an hour to explain everything to Chris and calm his son down and reassure him that (Y/n) was going to be okay.
Chris had seen the news. He hadn't known it had been his step-mum who got hurt, but he had cried when Eddie told him it was (Y/n).
Now (Y/n)'s surgery was over but Eddie couldn't sleep. He couldn't risk it when (Y/n) hadn't come around from the anaesthetic yet. He needed to be the first one to talk to her and explain and reassure her that she was okay.
Sleep could wait.
He downed half the coffee in the flimsy paper cup, grimacing at the amount of sugar he'd needed to add to try and keep his system going. The coffee was nasty, it was vile and putrid, but Eddie needed something and the coffee machine was only down the corridor from (Y/n)'s room. He couldn't stray far and go to the cafeteria. He had to be close by.
He continued down the corridor back towards (Y/n)'s room as he hung his head.
Why did it have to be her?
How awful did that make Eddie for wishing it had been someone else- anyone else, but his wife? He would rather have watched the other members of his team suffer than (Y/n). Eddie would have taken her place if he could, he would have bared the pain and the weight of the truck crushing through his muscle and bone. He would have been plastered to the road in (Y/n)'s place if God would let him.
But no. No, it had to be the one person on the team who Eddie swore to protect with his life and love more than anything. It had to be the person who held his heart in her hands and subsequently broke it by being in so much agony where Eddie couldn't help her.
He took a deep breath to ward off the tears threatening to spill over and tried to head back to (Y/n). But as Eddie neared her room, he felt his heart give out an extra beat that slammed into his ribs and sent his body convulsing in retaliation.
The door was open. The emergency light above the door was flashing red. He could hear raised voices and equipment crashing about.
Oh God.
The coffee spilled down the grooves of his fingers and down the back of his hand when he tossed it down on the nearest table. He ignored the slight burn that sizzled into his skin and focused on pelting down to the room. His hand gripped the door frame and he used it to swing himself around to the left and blunder inside.
What were they doing? What was wrong? Had she had a complication? Oh God, (Y/n) hadn't suddenly coded, had she? Were they going to rescusitate her?
Eddie's eyes danced around the room, desperately trying to figure out what was going wrong and what they were doing to his wife.
He didn't know what to do with the sight in front of him.
(Y/n) was thrashing about on the bed so much that for a moment, Eddie thought she was having a seizure. But he realised that she was fighting. She was pushing off the hands trying to hold her down and stop her from getting up or moving too suddenly and hurting herself.
The oxygen tube that had been clipped beneath her nose had been thrown off the side of the bed. The heart monitor was now beeping furiously with a continuous red line because (Y/n) had taken the clip off her finger. Her trembling hands were trying to rip the blue and white stickers on her chest that were there for cardiac emergencies.
The scream she let out was broken and hoarse and it sent shivers right down to Eddie's toes that were twitching in his boots.
When she screamed again, Eddie broke out of his frozen stance in the doorway and hurried forward. He tried to nudge one of the nurses out the way without being rough or starting a fight himself. He weaved in between one of the nurses and the doctor who were clearly doing more harm than good by trying to push (Y/n) down rather than talking to calm her down.
"Sir, please-"
"She's my wife, let me calm her down." Eddie didn't give them much of a choice. He nudged the doctor until she moved out of his way and they switched places.
He wasted no time in lowering the frame at the side of the bed and he pushed it down so he could lean his hips onto the mattress and lean over (Y/n).
Her arms were trembling as she waved them in front of her and tried to bat everyone away from her. She wanted to sit up. She wanted to move. Wherever she was, (Y/n) knew this wasn't home and that was exactly where she wanted to be.
"Baby, baby it's me. Hey, it's me." Eddie caught (Y/n)'s wrists in his hands when she tried to lash out at him.
His voice did the trick in causing (Y/n) to finally stop writhing from side to side. Her eyes could barely stay in focus and it proved that she had only just come out of the anaesthetic. She had been murmuring and rousing for the last hour or two, but finally, she had woken up.
Her eyes roamed around until they finally seemed to settle on Eddie and she blinked furiously to try and stare up at him, but she could barely see with the fog rolling in on her mind.
Her fingers twitched and shook in his grip and when she brushed her finger along Eddie's cheek, his lips twitched and he leaned into the touch.
He turned his head so he could kiss her knuckles and his eyes focused on the cannula in the back of her hand. It was still in place. Now he knew why the doctor had been trying to grab her hand and stop her from lashing out; if that came out they would have a struggle getting (Y/n) to agree to let them put the needle back in her vein.
(Y/n) tried to let herself relax and focus on Eddie, but she could barely register Eddie's touch when all her other senses were on fire. Her head felt like it was being caved in by a hammer. She felt sick. Her nerves were being set on fire like fuses to fireworks that were about to explode.
Every noise sounded muffled and distant in her ears, but nobody was helping. All these strange people were grabbing at her, moving her, pinning her down, telling her to stop moving. Was she under arrest? Had she been kidnapped? What were they doing?
"Baby," Eddie gently lowered her hands so they were resting on her waist rather than being held up in front of her. But he could see that distant look in her unfocused eyes, as if she were drifting off into her own world.
A shudder tore through (Y/n)'s body when she closed her eyes and an image of Eddie flashed in front of her mind.
Eddie was screaming. His nails were piercing through her arms, yanking on them so much it felt like he was going to rip her arms from their sockets. He was pulling her across the road. He was crying. His voice was in her ears, whispering that everything was going to be okay now. He had her.
Then it ignited.
Eddie's lips rolled together and he couldn't help but wince when a broken sob bubbled past (Y/n)'s lips and she reached out for him. Her hands suddenly dug into his shoulders and she pulled on him enough to make him wobble and grab the bed so he didn't fall on top of her.
It hurt.
Her leg was on fire. It was being torn apart by rabid teeth. She could feel the blood acting as glue, sticking her to the concrete road that had grazed all down her body when she skidded out the truck. She could feel an immense weight crushing down on her leg causing pain to strike all the way up to her skull like knives slashing up and down her skin.
A murmur of 'oow' left her lips on repeat while she let go of Eddie's shoulder and tried to move her hand down her waist towards her thigh. She didn't have the nerve to lean forward and look. She couldn't move her hand an inch further down her thigh and see whether her leg was still connected or if she had a stump in its place.
(Y/n) didn't want to lose her leg. She didn't want to have to adjust to a life without her limb. She didn't want to be set back years and have to learn to adapt and walk with a prosthetic. She didn't want that much time off work or the threat of having to change jobs if she couldn't keep up with the team or was too much of a liability.
"Is- have- is it gone?" Words tumbled past her lips but her voice was no more than a whisper and she tried to sit forward again until Eddie leaned over her and nudged her back.
"No, no mi amor, you're okay. You haven't lost your leg."
Eddie hated that he had to reassure (Y/n), he hated that she was afraid she had lost her limb during surgery. He was furious that she had to have surgery at all. None of this was right, it wasn't fair and it shouldn't be happening to her.
His hands cupped her face and he smoothed his thumbs across her face and leaned over until their temples were pressed together. It allowed (Y/n) to copy his breathing pattern and she held her breath and let her system adjust when Eddie stole a kiss, wet with tears.
Eddie continued to cup her face, but he punctured his teeth down into his lower lip and leaned to the side just enough so (Y/n) could look past him.
Now she knew why they had all been preventing her from sitting up.
Her leg was in a cast. She hadn't felt it before, but there was a thick pot cast from the base of her toes, all the way up her leg and finished halfway up her thigh. It was almost the size of her entire leg and it was elevated with a sling to keep her leg from resting on the bed.
Why hadn't she felt that when she woke up? How was she going to move with that there? What was she going to do? How long would she have to be in here? Was that even her leg in there, or was this some kind of mirrage to sedate her and calm her down from a frenzy?
A flood wave of tears began to pour down her face as she thrust her head back into the pillow and dug her nails into Eddie's shoulders to pin him next to her.
How was she going to manage like this?
Tremors rattled through (Y/n)'s body that jerked forward like she had risen from the dead. It felt like she had been sinking into the mattress and hands had suddenly grabbed her shoulders and pulled her free.
Her body began to shake and shallow, panting breaths ran away from her as she darted her eyes open and looked around the room. It took (Y/n) a lot longer than it should have to realise where she was and what was going on.
She was at home. She was safe. She was in bed.
Her hands shakily ran down her chest and her eyes closed and she dragged her fingertips down her thighs until they hit the unfamiliar, gritty pot stuck on her leg that felt like cement.
It was still there. Both the pot and her leg were exactly where she expected them to be.
Every time (Y/n) dreamed of the accident, something seemed to change. One night she dreamt her leg had been completely severed at the knee and she was staring down at a bloody, amputated limb that was still moving and twitching and bleeding. Another night, she dreamt that Eddie had grinned savagely at her before yanking on her arms, forcefully severing her from her mutilated leg.
Another night, she had woken up crying out for Eddie because in her dream, no one had been with her. She had been the only person in the truck when it crashed and no one knew she had been trapped. No one came to her rescue.
(Y/n) couldn't remember the dream tonight. Only flashes of red and blue lights flickering in the back of her mind.
She tried her best to take deep breaths, but it didn't help her chest that felt like it had been crushed and her body was still trembling. And when she pressed her hands down into the mattress, she cringed when she realised she was sweating. It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of water over her during her sleep.
She cast her eyes to the left but tears continued to trickle down her face when she looked over at Eddie. She didn't want to wake him. What good would that do either of them?
(Y/n) didn't want to go back to sleep. Not now her heart was racing and she could still feel the effects of whatever dream had plagued her tonight.
It wasn't as if she could sleep properly anyway. (Y/n) wanted to turn over. She wanted to twist onto her left side and huddle up in Eddie's arms. She wanted to burrow into his chest and have him wrapped around her. She wanted to cuddle up to him and lay like they normally did.
That wasn't possible right now.
The only way (Y/n) could lay was to lie on her back because the pot on her leg made it impossible to lay on either side. If she wanted to lay on her left side and face Eddie, (Y/n) had to keep her legs straight and twist her upper body and after a while, it really hurt her waist to be at that angle. She couldn't bear to try and twist to the right.
Her leg was constant agony. Some nights it felt like (Y/n) could pinpoint where each pin and bolt was in her leg with how her muscles throbbed beneath the cast. She wanted to scrape it off. She wanted to smash the pot and scratch her leg to ribbons and make it heal instantly so she didn't have to be in this agony anymore.
Her hands moved to rub all the tears from her face that now felt wet and hot to the touch.
She should go and sit in the living room. She should get a drink and move so she didn't wake Eddie; he needed sleep. There was no point lying here uncomfortably if her mind wasn't going to go back to sleep.
It took some effort to get herself sitting up and she braced her hands behind her so she didn't flop back on the bed.
She wasn't sure how to do this. For the last week since coming home, Eddie had helped her. He had been her strength, her momentum and her motivation for everything. He helped her in and out of bed, he was right there behind her when she was trying to walk using the crutches.
And especially when she needed the bathroom or to shower. Getting a bath was impossible, so they found a routine where she would have to stick her cast out the shower. Eddie stood right behind her letting her lean back into his chest, holding her up and helping her wash.
(Y/n) didn't want to keep relying on him. She wanted to try and do things herself so she didn't become a burden. Having Eddie tell her each time he helped her that he loved her made (Y/n) feel better, but she still felt like she was relying on him too much. She didn't want him to end up resenting her for how badly she needed help.
Creasing forward, (Y/n) tried to fold in on herself and she hooked both hands beneath her cast that seemed to weigh more than a person. Sometimes it felt like she was hobbling round with one of the team attached to her leg.
It took her a while to twist around and swing her leg over the edge of the bed without making too much noise or movement so Eddie stayed sound asleep behind her.
The crutches were right where she had left them, slumped up against the bedside table and (Y/n) reached out for one of them and hooked it beneath her right arm. She needed to get stood up and leant on this one before she tried to fathom how to get the other and move around without waking Eddie.
More tears flooded (Y/n)'s eyes when she managed to get up to her feet. She could barely put any weight on her right leg. Standing on two feet felt like she was standing one leg on hot coals that burned right up to her hip. The only choice she had was to hop on her left leg and keep her right leg elevated and practically useless until it healed.
(Y/n) bowed her head down and leaned to the left while her right hand clenched around the crutch so tightly she felt like it was going to snap.
Two hobbling steps away from the bed was all (Y/n) could manage on one crutch. She tried to turn to the right and reach out for her other crutch, but she made the mistake of putting the tiniest bit of weight onto the tip of her right foot.
The pain spread throughout her system like a wildfire and she shifted back onto her left foot a little too quickly for her balance to comprehend.
An ungodly crash rung out through the air when (Y/n) collided with the floor and the crutches hit the table and rebounded on the floor.
Shivers tore through (Y/n)'s body that was back to trembling again and when she heard Eddie gasp and bolt upright in bed, she wailed.
She couldn't do anything right. She couldn't get herself up out of bed without making a ruckus and now she had woken Eddie and unadvertently let him know that she'd had an accident. Her hands reached out to smother her face, causing each breath she took to come out in wheezes as she tried her best to hold in a scream.
When her elbow nudged against one of the crutches, (Y/n) grabbed it and tossed it as far as she could until it slid across the floor towards the bedroom door. She wanted to kick her heels and throw herself around like a child having a paddy.
"Baby?! Amor, what happened?"
Eddie's voice rung out through the air as he sat bolt upright and darted his eyes around the room. He felt mad as he tried to get his eyes to adjust to the darkness while he flung the cover off and twisted to kneel on the bed when he realised (Y/n) wasn't next to him.
He turned on the bedside lamp but as soon as his eyes set on (Y/n), his heart plummeted down to his gut and he clamped his teeth down into his lower lip.
He quickly clambered off the bed and knelt down next to her, nudging her other crutch out the way so he could try and move her. But before he could reach out for her, (Y/n) lifted her head off the floor and forcefully slammed it back down enough to make Eddie's arms coil into his chest in shock.
"No, n- baby don't do that, please."
Eddie's pleading only made (Y/n) cry harder and she rammed her head back again until Eddie slid his hand around and cupped the base of her neck to make her stop. She was going to give herself a concussion. He wouldn't be surprised if she had blurred her vision now and given herself a migraine after that.
His other arm curved around her and his hand planted down beneath her back so he could reel her up from the floor so she was sitting up.
(Y/n) tried to hide her cries by smothering her face into Eddie's shirt until she was barely able to breathe. She had already made enough of a noise that she might have woken Chris. She didn't want him to hear her cry. She had already cried in front of Eddie enough these last two weeks, she didn't want to cry this much anymore.
Eddie slid his hand up to cup (Y/n)'s head that he was sure would be aching now and he tilted his head down to smother his lips into her hair. He could feel (Y/n)'s arms shakily weaving around his chest so her hands were clutching his back. And when she shuffled closer, Eddie obliged and parted his knees so she could slot between his thighs.
He wasn't sure which one of them started to rock back and forth, but the swaying seemed to help. His fingers wove into her hair and he started rubbing his hand up and down her back in soothing circles.
"Where were you going?" He murmured softly as he leaned his cheek on top of her head and sank back on his heels to try and ease the tension on his knees. He wasn't used to kneeling on the floor like this.
"Couldn't sleep," (Y/n) hated the way she couldn't stop crying just for a minute so she could try and talk.
She kept her face burrowed into Eddie's chest for another minute until she found the courage to let her head loll back so she could look up at him. The understanding was written all over his face and it made her feel worse. She didn't want him to understand. She wanted Eddie to feel annoyed and frustrated for how often she needed his help and for waking him up in the middle of the night like this.
She nudged her cheek against Eddie's wrist and slid her hands from his back to hold his biceps instead.
"I'm- I'm gonna get some meds."
Her words caused Eddie to raise a brow and tilt his head to one side, but when she tried to shimmy out of his arms, he tutted at her. His arms tightened around her and he tugged her back into his chest so he could press a soft kiss to her temple.
If she thought Eddie was going to let her shuffle all the way to the kitchen then she was utterly mistaken.
Eddie didn't care if (Y/n) thought she needed to do this on her own or if she thought she was being a burden. She wasn't. He loved her more than anything in the world and he was going to look after her. He wouldn't let her suffer or do this on her own and if she needed his help for something, Eddie wanted her to ask rather than feel like she was being dependent on him.
"Baby, you're not shuffling into the kitchen… besides, you had all your meds before we went to sleep."
A horrible wail left (Y/n)'s lips and her fingers scratched down Eddie's biceps as she clutched him tighter. "It hurts! Eddie, please… oww, please,"
She needed more meds. She needed something to take the edge off. Falling had made her leg go blindingly numb, but now the pain was crashing over her in waves and she felt like her leg was about to be severed all over again. She wanted it to stop. The pain was overwhelming. (Y/n) needed something.
"I know, I know." Eddie pecked her burning temple again as he took to swaying them from left to right as (Y/n) burrowed tighter into his chest.
(Y/n) cringed at the thoughts running through her head and she clung to Eddie tighter as if it would somehow make her mind give in. But maybe it would have been better if she had her leg amputated. Maybe it was more trouble than it was worth to have all these pins slotted into her bone and have her muscle stitched back together and her blood vessels reattached.
Maybe losing her leg would have been less painful than having to heal up all the different wounds splintered into her leg. Maybe recovery would have been less painful without her leg and the cast and pins and stitches and constant agony. Even if she would of had to start from scratch, that might have been better than this endurance.
"Let's go back to bed." The soft tone to Eddie's voice almost felt like a lullaby and (Y/n) tucked her face into his neck, pressing her wet lips against his skin. She wanted to agree, but she shook her head. She couldn't go to sleep. That was the whole reason she got out of bed in the first place; (Y/n) didn't want to go back to sleep and risk another nightmare. And it would take a long time for her to get comfy enough to sleep.
"I can't sleep."
"I didn't say anything about sleeping, mi amor. We can watch a movie, but we're not sitting down here for the rest of the night. Come on."
Eddie tried to loop (Y/n)'s arms around his neck so he could help her up, but she clutched at his arms and pressed down into his chest like she was trying to disappear.
"Baby…"
"I don't- I don't want to be a burden-"
"I don't wanna hear that."
(Y/n) shuddered when Eddie's hand moved around from cupping the back of her neck to cradle the side of her face which he angled up in his direction. She didn't have time to protest or gasp or cry when Eddie stole her lips with such fever her mind went blank and the pain circulating through her leg was momentarily blanked out.
It was as if he was pushing all of his love and emotions into the kiss, trying to convey hundreds of secrets into one loving, igniting touch. And when (Y/n) parted her lips, Eddie stole what little air she had left in her lungs and swiped his tongue across her lip like he was searching for more.
"I seem to remember my vows including sickness and health, so if you're not well, I'm taking care of you. Got it?"
(Y/n) didn't have the will to argue when Eddie leant his forehead against hers and spoke so quietly and closely that each word fanned across her lips and made her shiver. She managed to nod her head before Eddie stole another kiss and swiped away her tears with the pad of his thumb.
Her mind drew a blank when Eddie muttered "Good girl," against her lips which made her go limp. And he used that to his advantage to loop her arms around his neck while he pushed up from his knees and lifted (Y/n) up with him like she weighed nothing more than a bag of sugar.
It was as if Eddie could read her thoughts because when he climbed into bed after laying her down, he was already moving and shifting her around. He moved until he was sat directly in the middle of the bed, spreading each leg around (Y/n) so she was sat between his thighs. He leaned her back until she was settled against his chest with her head on his shoulder and his arms around her waist.
If she could only sit or lay on her back to keep her cast in place and prevent any further pain, then Eddie would lay like this with her. He would cocoon himself around her to make her feel better and if (Y/n) happened to fall asleep like this, then it was even better.
His fingers feathered up and down her chest and torso and his lips attached to her temple while (Y/n) grabbed the remote and turned the tv on low. Although she knew she wasn't going to be paying much attention when all her focus was going to Eddie right now and how he was holding all her broken pieces together better than the cast on her leg.
"I've got you, mi amor."
***
Running her fingers through her hair, (Y/n) closed her eyes and leaned against the wall for a moment.
God, she felt silly.
How could a firefighter like her, lose her momentum and strength after taking a shower?
It wasn't as if it was as much of a struggle anymore, now that she was able to shower without a large pot cast secured around one leg. She didn't have to shower with one leg sticking out and a bundle of towels on the floor to stop from flooding the bathroom. (Y/n) didn't have to worry about losing her balance or sheepishly asking Eddie if he would help her shower or get dressed.
She had been living in Eddie's clothes for a month while she had the cast on. She had barely left the house because all she could wear were her dresses or Eddie's lounge sets. Because Eddie's shorts were large on her and loose enough to be baggy over her cast. (Y/n) wasn't cutting up any of her leggings or jeans. Not for that damn cast.
But she thought it would be easier once the cast was off. (Y/n) thought she could move about easier, but her leg still felt like it was made out of clay that hadn't hardened yet. Putting too much weight on her leg made it ache and (Y/n) didn't feel like her leg could support her yet. The muscles were still weak and trying to reattach together and heal. Her nerves were still frazzled and her bone wasn't done healing around the pins.
(Y/n) tried to find her new sense of balance, leaning mostly to the left with only a little weight on her right leg. And she pushed off the wall that had been holding her up so she could try and walk down the hall.
She and Eddie had never been happier that they lived in a bungalow than the day (Y/n) came home from hospital. She couldn't imagine how much harder it would have been if she had to shuffle up and down a set of stairs. She would never come down. Scratch that, she would never get down on her own.
Her hand trailed the wall as she hobbled away from the bathroom and followed the sound of Eddie's voice that was humming through the air along to the tune on the radio.
She tried to take slow, deep breaths but it wasn't helping to calm her system down. Maybe the shower had been too hot. (Y/n) was starting to feel run down, and it couldn't simply be from how much effort it was now to get showered and dressed.
Her nose crinkled and her free hand moved to her chest as she twitched and tried to straighten her back to see if it would help, but it didn't.
"Eddie…?" Her eyes locked on his frame in front of the kitchen window. He had his back to her with one hip cocked out to the side and it looked like he was washing up.
"Hm?"
He grabbed a tea towel and dried his hands before he spun around, but the smile on his face faded when he looked (Y/n) up and down. It was normal to see her leaning to one side now, almost as if she had shifted and her foundations had moved. But it was the panic in her eyes and the worry lines sewn around her lips that put Eddie on edge.
"What's up?"
"My chest hurts," Her voice came out a lot croakier than she intended and she began rubbing her hand in circles across her chest to see if it would help ease the tension that was steadily growing.
The worry in Eddie's eyes made her stomach flip and she tilted her head back to look up at him when he stood in front of her. His hands cupped her face and his thumbs swiped across her jaw before he moved down to check her pulse while he stared into her eyes. Her pupils were constricting to the kitchen light and focusing on him which was good, but her pulse was high.
He took the chance to peck her cheek when she leaned into his touch and he managed a smile when (Y/n) leaned her cheek into his shoulder when he stood closer to her side. He placed one hand on her lower chest and the other against her back.
"Deep breath?" He murmured softly into the back of her head as he tried to feel if she had any tension in her chest.
(Y/n) tried, but she circled her right arm beneath Eddie's bicep and moved her other hand to smother a cough. She clung to Eddie tightly and let her weight slump into him as she tried to stop coughing. Each cough felt hoarse and made her chest tighten, all of which Eddie could feel.
She grumbled through a deeper breath when she finally stopped coughing, but the sight of her palm made a whimper tear past her lips.
"Eddie…" (Y/n) hated the tears that were already welling up in her eyes and she leaned her head up from his shoulder to look up at him. He didn't get chance to say anything before she held her trembling palm up for him to see.
She was coughing up blood.
"Shit!"
Her shoulders coiled inwards and she whimpered, hovering both hands in front of her mouth as another cough rumbled past her lips.
(Y/n) felt tears splashing down her face and she snapped her eyes closed, pulling her arms to imbed them into her waist. She could feel the blood coating her throat and welling up in her mouth, but it felt awful to have blood dribbling down her lips and splattering onto her palms. The taste was bitter like lemon zest and made her mouth tingle.
But the more (Y/n) tried to breathe, the more blood started to bubble up in her mouth and spill down her chin.
"Baby, baby just keep breathing as much as you can for me. Lean on me, look, we're going to the ER."
Something akin to a cry bubbled up with another spout of blood and (Y/n) gratefully took the tea towel Eddie placed in her palms. She pressed it to her mouth, coughing and spluttering as her head started to become dizzy and she felt like she was a balloon filling up with air. Or blood.
Her legs barely moved when Eddie cocooned both his arms around her waist and ushered her from the kitchen. He let her recline into his chest and he held up the brunt of her waist, becoming a driving force behind her to get her out the house faster.
He barely managed to grab his keys as he patted down his back pockets to make sure he had his wallet and his phone before they were stumbling out the door.
He swept his eyes up and down (Y/n) when she leaned into him a bit more and he suddenly noticed she had no shoes or socks on her feet. She was wearing leggings and one of his shirts, but that would have to do, they didn't have time to stop when she was now struggling to breathe.
He could feel (Y/n) shuddering in his arms and her knees started to bend like she wanted to slide down to the floor. She didn't hold the strength to keep hobbling forward anymore. All (Y/n) could do was tremble in Eddie's arms and splutter and grog into the tea towel that was quickly changing from grey to dark crimson.
"E- E-ugh… Eddie," It had never taken (Y/n) so many tries to say his name and Eddie hated the desperation that had his heart trying to reach out for her.
He cringed at her lack of air and moved round so he was stood just in front of her with both arms around her waist and her head now tucked up into his neck.
"It's okay, I've got you. You're gonna be alright, mi amor." He hushed against her temple as he continued walking with (Y/n) slumped into his chest and her feet just barely scraping the floor to try and help.
He had to get her to the hospital. He wouldn't come close to losing her; not again.
***
"Do you feel any better?"
Eddie dropped his head down into the crook of (Y/n)'s neck and started peppering a few kisses to her skin. He tightened his arms that had been secured around her waist for the last hour or so since they had been moved into this room.
His thumbs started to stroke up and down her waist while his chest moulded over her back like he was a blanket trying to secure around her. (Y/n) had barely let go of him since they arrived and when she was finally assessed and given the medication she needed, she had reached out for Eddie. He sat down on the bed with her once she was transferred from the emergency room up here and he hadn't let go of her yet.
"Still tight," (Y/n) moved her free hand to weakly rub her chest over her sternum before she dropped her hand to her lap and let her head loll forward.
It was comforting to have Eddie's arms around her. (Y/n) knew if she slumped forward or fell back, Eddie would catch her either way.
And her lips curved into a tired grin when she felt Eddie's hand trail upwards until his hand was curled into a loose fist and he began rubbing the back of his knuckles up and down her chest. The feeling of his hand across her sternum made the tension ease a little and (Y/n) leaned into the touch while her fingers tapped against the tube in her hands.
When they arrived in the emergency room, they had quickly assessed that she was suffering a pulmonary embolism. A blood clot from her damaged leg had blocked her lung and burst a vessel.
The blood had been drained from her lung, she had been given a big injection of anti-coagulants to thin her blood and prevent any further clots.
(Y/n) could finally breathe again and she wasn't spewing blood into her hands or pawing at Eddie's shirt, begging through ragged breaths for him to hold her and help her. She was glad he was sat behind her so she didn't have to look at his blood-covered shirt that was going to have to go in the bin when they eventually went home.
"You sound a lot better now, baby." Eddie murmured into her neck while he closed his eyes and listened to each breath she took.
He could feel her breaths against his hand and through her back that was moulded into his chest. Even though she was still crackling and gasping every now and then, she was a lot better than when they arrived.
He knew she wasn't happy about needing to stay here until she was discharged in the morning. They had to keep her for observation to make sure no other clots happened.
And for the next four days, Eddie would be giving (Y/n) anti-coagulant injections to make sure this didn't happen again.
(Y/n) wasn't pleased that she was going to need blood thinners for the next three months. That was protocol after an embolism like this, but it meant she wouldn't be going back to work anytime soon, not that she would have been back with the state of her leg at the moment.
"This helps." She waved the plastic tube in her hand before moving it back to her mouth. The nurse had kindly offered her some gas and air medication.
It didn't exactly take the pain from her chest or the sting in her leg that was still forever present, but it loosened her chest. The nurse said she could use it as much as she wanted so (Y/n) was making the most of it. She had been given a powdered inhaler earlier to stimulate her airways into opening fully but it made her cough worse.
When she pushed back to sit upright, (Y/n) closed her eyes and let her head drop back onto Eddie's shoulder, causing him to straighten up against her. He continued gliding his hand up and down the centre of her chest while (Y/n) readjusted in his arms.
She dropped the air tube onto the side unit and curled both her arms around her waist to hold Eddie's hand.
It felt good to be able to bend her right knee again and move her leg rather than forever keep it stretched out in a pot that wouldn't move. She felt like she was doing yoga just by sitting with her knees raised.
She brought her legs up and crossed them beneath her on the bed and slouched her back into Eddie's chest while he leaned back and eased her with him.
"You good?"
She hummed and nodded into the crook of his neck while Eddie attached his lips to her temple and leaned his cheek on top of her head.
"Try and get some sleep. I'm not going anywhere." He could tell his words were comforting because (Y/n) relaxed into him and he felt her smiling into his neck.
As long as she had Eddie's arms around her, she knew she would be okay.
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ashblooddragons · 2 days ago
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The Red Queen (Chapter 8/?)
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Your Pov
It's the day of Mama's funeral. I try not to cry again as I sit in the bath as my maid wash hair. 
“What oils would you like today, Princess? Your usual jasmine?” Orchid asks already reaching for the oil bottle ready to pour it in the tub and my hair.
But instead, I stop her and think about Mama's calming scent and Ali's vanilla scent, or at least that's what she calls it.
“What was Mama's oil?” I ask and I see the flash of sadness cross Orchid's face before she smiles and grabs another bottle. 
“Lavender, the late Queen loved Lavender.” She says filling the dropper before letting the oil drip into my bath and hair.
“Can I have vanilla too? Or would that smell bad?” I ask curiously before biting my lip nervously.
“Lavender and vanilla would be lovely together, Princess.” Orchid says before reaching for the small vial of vanilla oils.
Once she has them both in the bath and my hair I feel safe, like a warm hug, like I can breathe again. I start to cry again but Orchid acts like she doesn't notice, most of the maids act like they don't notice. I don't understand why, why can't they wipe my tears like Kepus and Ali do? Why can't they hold me so close like Kepus and Ali do? They hold me so tight it's hard to breathe but I can feel their hearts beating feel they're alive feel they're here.
But what confuses me the most is why Mama had to leave me? She promised after this baby was born she would play with me finally, that she would come to my leasons and see how smart I'm getting. But now she can't do that, because she's gone forever. 
Everyone keeps saying that, but they won't tell me how long forever is, only that it is forever. It doesn't make sense, I just want to know when I can see my Mama again when she'll be back to play and see how smart I am. 
“All done, Princess.” Orchid says wiping my face of the water from the bath, but from her frown I can tell she was also wiping my tears. 
I stand in the bath and use my step stool to get out so she can wrap me in a warm towel that always feels warm against my skin because she rests it next to the fire, and smells of something woodsy. 
I'm quickly dried and dressed in a black dress. Put on thick wool stockings as it's chilly today and my hair braided so it's a crown upon my head. Orchid helps me put on my bracelet and necklace from Kepus like always before someone knocks on the door.
“Come!” I call out rubbing my already raw and painful eyes. I then look down in case it's Papa, he seems to not be able to look at me anymore. I don't understand why though I haven’t done anything wrong. 
“Ñuha riña, it's time to go.” I hear Kepus say.
Not Papa, I don't have to hide my face. 
I turn and look up and see him frown at how bloody my lips and how red my eyes are. 
“Can't I wear red, it's a much prettier color than black.” I say frowning
This seems to make him happy as he chuckles with a shake of his head before he kneels down so he can hold my hands in his. My hands always seem so small when he holds them, not like the big girl hands I like to think they are. “No, I'm afraid not ñuha riña. Black, is traditional mourning colors you will be wearing them for a while yet.” He says inspecting my hair to see how well done it is.
“I did it today, M'lord.” Orchid says from her spot behind me with her head down.
Kepus made sure to tell Orchid only she and him can do my hair now, maybe the ‘little Hightower’ but I don't know who that would be. 
“I figured as much, it's not in her eyes.” He responds with a nod to my maids before picking me up and walking out of my room.
Once in the carriage I see Nyra who is glaring at me as usual but this time it sends chills down my spine. Had I done something? And then I see Papa next to her and he won't look at me, as if doing so brings him pain. I must have done something bad, but what?
The ride is quiet, almost suffocatingly so, so I feel I need to break it. 
“When will me and Nyra know when to tell Syrax and Stromchaser to dracarys?” I ask Papa but when he doesn’t answer I turn to look up at Kepus instead.
“I��ll count down from five, once I say zero you two command them to light the pyre.” He says glaring at Papa or some reason.
I only nod and look out the window watching as the smallfolk cry for Mama. They miss her too, hopefully their Mama’s aren’t goen too. 
When we make it to Rhaeny’s hill Kepus picks me up again and whispers to me “it’s quite steep, ñuha riña, don’t you tripping and getting hurt.” 
I feel the wind against my back, it makes me shiver as I cling to Kepus hoping he'll keep the cold away. Once we make it to the top of the hill he sets me down on my feet. He lets me cling to his leg as the Valyrian priest chants.
I try and ignore them as I look at Mama and baby Baelon, they're wrapped in a brown cloth so tight I can see the outline of Mama's arms, legs, and belly. Her belly looks weird but I ignore it as it's probably because she's dead. 
Once the priest is done and walks away I let go of Kepus and walk forward with Nyra. 
“It's time girls, are you ready ñuha riña?” Kepus says standing between us.
I want to scream ‘NO’ but I know that I must, that Mama and Baelon must be ‘put to rest’ or at least that's what Ali said. So instead I nod my head as I wipe my tears.
Kepus looks between us one last time before sighing and nodding his head, a lmost like he's defeated. 
“Five.”
I gasp realizing I'm never going to be ready this, to let Mama go. At least before I had to turn her to ash in the wind I could pretend she was just on a long trip, that she wasn't gone that she was only seeing her family in the Vale.
“Four.”
I feel my heart clench, feel it about beat out of my chest. It's painful, it hurts, but not as much as when I burn Mama away.
“Three.”
I can't breathe, why can't I breathe? I can feel my heart practically beat out of my chest. I feel my lungs constrict so I can only take in small gasps of air.
“Two.” 
I feel Kepus rest his hand on my shoulder giving it a squeeze. I still can't breathe, still feel my heart beating out of my chest, but for some reason, it's all getting easier to deal with.
“One.” 
I hear Stromchaser let out a cry of pain, Kepus says they feel our emotions, our pain, I have to stay calm for Stromchaser. But I can't I can't calm down, I'm losing Mama forever.
“Now.” 
I figured out what forever means, and all it took was me screaming with Nyra, commanding our dragons to make Mama and Baelon ash in the wind. Make them gone forever.
Once Stromchaser and Syrax stop their flames I turn to Kepus leaping into his arms and sobbing. Sobbing that I'll never get to see Mama again and play in the gardens with her. Sobbing because I'll never get to meet my baby brother. Sobbing that Mama and Baelon are gone forever.
Daemons Pov
I stand leaning against the Weirwood tree waiting for that blasted Dornish man, Cole. 
I knew after that fucking Sarwyck lost in the first round you needed a better guard. Though my pride was hurt I can't deny that Cole proved himself, that he would be the perfect guard for you. 
I remember the look of hos face when I grabbed him after, it was a look of horror, of fear of what the Prince of the city would do to him. Instead I only whispered one thing.
“Meet me at the Weorwood tree in a week's time at the hour of the wolf.” 
He quickly agreed of course but now I'm wondering if I should have threatened him instead of letting him go on his merry way. 
I hear a twig snap under someone's foot and turn to see him. He seems to have rushed here if the sweat on his brow is any indicator.
Must have realized he was almost late. I think with a cruel smirk. 
“You wished to see me, my Prince?” He says winded and bent over with his hands on his knees catching his breath.
“I have an offer for you, though if you take it you'll answer to me and no one else.” I say standing straight and walking towards him.
“Wh-what do you mean?” 
“You took down one of my Gold Cloaks, he was in charge of the care and well-being of the youngest Princess. Can't have someone who can't even beat a stewards son protect my sweet little niece, now can I?” I say in a calm voice that has always led men to do as I please, even my brother, the King. 
“And what does that have to do with me?” He asks standing straight again hands behind his back.
I know that stance, I know it well. 
“You're a soldier aren't you.” I say but it was rhetorical
“Yes, my Prince.” He responds curtly but I catch the scowl that he was read so easily.
Oh just you wait, Ser Cole, you'll learn to hide everything in this pit of vipers soon.
“If I could make it where you have a very high chance of becoming a Kingsguard, would you?” 
He seems shocked from the way his mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. I can't fight the chuckle that leaves me, nor would I want to. 
“It would be an honor, my Prince. But why would they choose a stewards son over a lord's son who has also been to war?” He asks, curious and skeptical to this offer.
“And what I'd I said they wouldn't be others who have gone to war?” 
He freezes for all of ten seconds before a smile comes to his face. “And what would you need from me? Of course after you give me such a high ranking at court you will want something in return?” 
I stop and look at him surprised. Most who are not from Kingslanding would have taken this chance by now, I can't tell if I'm proud, annoyed, or impressed. I think before responding.
“You see, I noticed something about our match. I had my blade to your throat, I let you live, and yet at the first chance you got back up and made sure I'd be the one to yield.” I say smiling when he starts to shift uncomfortably.
“It was a fair fight, you know it just as much as I.”
“Never said it wasn't, you never said you yielded, so by all rights you could, and did get back up to continue to fight.” I say smirking when I see the tension leave his shoulders.
“That still doesn't explain why you need me.” He says obviously getting annoyed.
“It's simple, I want- no I need a man who will use suck ‘dirty’ tactics when defending my niece. If I was to help you, you will defend the youngest, the Realms Darling they call her.”  
“Why her and not the eldest?” He asks confused.
“Rhaenyra has at least three guards at her demand, none are truly hers but they may as well be. The youngest…well she has only had the spares or the ones I give to her. I wish for her to have one I know I can trust. One that will give me the information I desire, when I desire it.” 
He seems to contemplate his options, though before he even says it, I know what he'll do.
“I'll do it.” 
I can't fight the smirk that comes to my face as I shake his hand, a symbol of a good deal. 
Once he's out of my sight I look down at the gold cloak against my back.
Fuck I could use a drink and a whore. I think before walking towards the most depraved parts of the city looking for a night to forget all I've lost, if only for one night.
Viserys Pov
After that ‘talk’ with my small council and the very long day I've had I knew when my head hit my pillow I'd be asleep. 
All I saw for a while was darkness, I figured it was because I was still awake but then I saw a light far away and knew what was going on.
Not this blasted dream again! I thought as I stormed forward knowing what I'd find.
The throne room was dark, not a candle lit on the walls, but there was fourteen candles lit in front of the iron throne. They always seemed to dance, I swore if I moved closer I would hear the sounds of childlike giggles. Most are on their own, standing on their own candle sticks, but three have two prongs with two candles on the stand. 
It's all the same, even those damned faces are still blurry! I think ready to turn around until I hear the booming voice of my Grandsire.
“You will stay, boy!” I feel my bones rattle just from the sheer force my Grandsire has spoken to me.
I now don't feel like a King, I feel like a little boy again being scolded for trying to steal a sweet…again.
“Why do you bring me here Grandsire? You have made me come to this room with its candles every night ever since my dear wife has passed! Well before that I was having this dream once a moon!” I cried out looking up and around me searching for my Grandsire.
“It is not our fault you are not Brave son. That you will not face what you already know.” I then hear my Father, the one man I always wished I could be, but Daemon has always been more like him than I'll ever be.
“What is there to see? Fourteen candles, two blurry faces on the throne? I've seen it! I understand I must have a son to put on the throne!” I sob out feeling their disappointment, their regret, knowing I'm far from the monarch they wished from me.
“Have you thought that perhaps if you moved closer the faces would be clear? Or are you that daft Viserys?” I hear their voice now combine, hear my fathers furious tone mixed with my Grandsires disappointment.
I shake my head but still listen to their advice. As I move forward I begin to hear the sounds of a woman giggling at something a man had said. Another step, and I can make out the woman's curls and theans long straight hair. One more and I see a gorgeous woman on my brother's lap, though it is not him that wears my crown but her.
The two of them stop their chatter, my brother is the first to turn to look at me.
“How lovely for you to finally join us dear brother, I was beginning to wonder if you ever would.” I teases with that smirk of hos that always make me want to punch him right in the lip. 
That'll show him who's older still. I think with a smile before I leaves me and a pained gasp leaves me.
The woman has turned her head to look at me, I would have never recognized her if it weren't for those eyes. One of Lavender and one of Ice Blue, the ones I can not look at, the ones who only bring me pain.
“You know what you must do, Father. You always have.” You say but it is not your little voice, it is a woman's voice.
I wake with a gasp before turning and letting my dinner meet my chambers floor.
“You know what you must do, Father. You always have.” Those words keep running through my head as I try to catch my breath.
I have, haven't I?
Special thanks to @sugutoad for making the header for this fic, I swear I'd be lost without you girly!
TAGLIST: @sugutoad @ilikefelines @classicsimpforaaronwarner @mmogurl @sachaa-ff
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hollowed-theory-hall · 2 days ago
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i remember you mentioned Harry loves spending time with Diary bc of his connection with Voldemort (or i think so) but what about Voldemort in his head? does he loves it or not? i also think after death-and-rebirth he kinda feel more lighter and even sad about it
Like, it's canon Harry likes to just hold the diary becouse he feels drawn to it, even before knowing how it works:
Harry couldn’t explain, even to himself, why he didn’t just throw Riddle’s diary away. The fact was that even though he knew the diary was blank, he kept absentmindedly picking it up and turning the pages, as though it were a story he wanted to finish. And while Harry was sure he had never heard the name T. M. Riddle before, it still seemed to mean something to him, almost as though Riddle was a friend he’d had when he was very small, and had half-forgotten. But this was absurd. He’d never had friends before Hogwarts, Dudley had made sure of that.
(CoS, Ch13)
That's an actual quote from the book.
Also, later on, Tom has to literally spell out that he's Voldemort because Harry was just completely unwilling to accept that his new BFF Tom who he might have a baby crush on is evil:
“Tom — Tom Riddle?” Riddle nodded, not taking his eyes off Harry’s face. “What d’you mean, she won’t wake?” Harry said desperately. “She’s not — she’s not — ?” “She’s still alive,” said Riddle. “But only just.” [...] “Are you a ghost?” Harry said uncertainly. “A memory,” said Riddle quietly. “Preserved in a diary for fifty years.” He pointed toward the floor near the statue’s giant toes. Lying open there was the little black diary Harry [...] For a second, Harry wondered how it had got there — but there were more pressing matters to deal with. “You’ve got to help me, Tom,” Harry said, raising Ginny’s head again. “We’ve got to get her out of here. There’s a basilisk . . . I don’t know where it is, but it could be along any moment. . . . Please, help me —” Riddle didn’t move. [...] But his wand had gone. “Did you see — ?” He looked up. Riddle was still watching him — twirling Harry’s wand between his long fingers. “Thanks,” said Harry, stretching out his hand for it. A smile curled the corners of Riddle’s mouth. He continued to stare at Harry, twirling the wand idly. “Listen,” said Harry urgently, his knees sagging with Ginny’s dead weight. “We’ve got to go! If the basilisk comes —” “It won’t come until it is called,” said Riddle calmly. [...] “What d’you mean?” he said. “Look, give me my wand, I might need it —” Riddle’s smile broadened. “You won’t be needing it,” he said. Harry stared at him. “What d’you mean, I won’t be — ?” “I’ve waited a long time for this, Harry Potter,” said Riddle. “For the chance to see you. To speak to you.” “Look,” said Harry, losing patience, “I don’t think you get it. We’re in the Chamber of Secrets. We can talk later —” “We’re going to talk now,” said Riddle, still smiling broadly, and he pocketed Harry’s wand. Harry stared at him. There was something very funny going on here. . . .
(CoS, Ch17)
Like, it takes Harry forever to get to the realization something is wrong even though Tom steals his wand and says mysterious evil shit because Harry was so desperate to keep Tom as his friend.
I mentioned here, how Harry does like his mental connection to Voldemort in DH in a way because it gives him a sense of purpose.
Harry is the one to decide they should be wearing the locket after he sensed life from it:
“Can you feel it, though?” Ron asked in a hushed voice, as he held it tight in his clenched fist. “What d’you mean?” Ron passed the Horcrux to Harry. After a moment or two, Harry thought he knew what Ron meant. Was it his own blood pulsing through his veins that he could feel, or was it something beating inside the locket, like a tiny metal heart? “What are we going to do with it?” Hermione asked. “Keep it safe till we work out how to destroy it,” Harry replied, and, little though he wanted to, he hung the chain around his own neck, dropping the locket out of sight beneath his robes, where it rested against his chest beside the pouch Hagrid had given him.
(DH, Ch14)
He's also the one of the trio that insists they should be wearing the locket even after they learn of it's effects, while Hermione suggests that maybe they really shouldn't:
“Hmm,” said Hermione, looking down at the heavy gold locket. “Well, maybe we ought not to wear it. We can just keep it in the tent.” “We are not leaving that Horcrux lying around,” Harry stated firmly. “If we lose it, if it gets stolen — ”
(DH, Ch15)
Ron is also against wearing Horcruxes, while Harry didn't seem to mind keeping the cup in his pocket:
Harry pulled the Horcrux from the pocket of the wet jacket he had just taken off and set it down on the grass in front of them. Glinting in the sun, it drew their eyes as they swigged their bottles of juice. “At least we can’t wear it this time, that’d look a bit weird hanging around our necks,” said Ron, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.
(DH, Ch27)
So, yeah, I think Harry definitely could feel his connection to Tom and the various Horcruxes.
I do think, once he comes back to life, he feels emptier, like a part of him is gone in a way. He'd feel lighter like a weight was taken off his shoulders, but I think he'd also feel off and aimless. I talked about it more here.
It's why I think Harry should've gone back for 8th year, I think getting his NEWTs and the familiar environment at Hogwarts would do him good after everything. Give my boy a break.
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lie-lacdreams · 1 day ago
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Thermodynamics and Turmoil (Curly x Reader pt. 4)
I am back !! Thank you for bearing with me as I try and figure out where I want to take this :)
Last
Engineer! Reader x Curly TW: J*mmy being a creep Word Count ~ 1.7k
A few days passed since the incident in the utility room, and (Y/N) saw very little of Curly. It was almost as if he was now the one avoiding her. The only thing keeping her from believing so was Jimmy telling the crew that they were steering through a chaotic bit of space debris and bragging about his contribution.
“Well if you’re so much of a help, why aren’t you in the cockpit with the captain instead of sitting down and eating dinner with us, huh?” Swansea glared, annoyed with his gloating. That shut Jimmy up quickly as he murmured something about working really hard today. 
Nightly routines went on as usual, and (Y/N) sat on the couch to read. Before she could open her book, she glanced over at the coffee machine. Given that she hadn’t seen much of Curly in the past few days, it was likely he was still in the cockpit, looking over the steering of the ship. She got up, pressed a few buttons to dispense coffee and started making her way out of the lounge. He seemed like the kind of person to like his coffee black.
Opening the door to exit, she almost bumped into Jimmy and withered slightly under the intensity of his gaze.
“I was just looking for you,” he said, voice low and breathy. Something didn’t feel quite right to her about this. 
“Oh? What do you need me for?” She asked cautiously as he walked into the room, making her backpedal into the lounge. 
“I just wanna talk, that’s all. Can we do that?” He started reaching for her shoulder and she quickly stepped a bit further from his reach. A sinking feeling in her gut told her that talking to him wouldn’t end well. 
“A-Actually I’m on my way to take this cup of coffee to the captain. He should be expecting me any minute now. Maybe we can talk another time?” She diverted and lied. He grumbled and skulked past her, making his way over to the kitchen as she made her escape. Closing the door behind her and now heading to the cockpit, her heart beat against her ribcage and she felt a rush of relief. Talking to him was always so uncomfortable, but this was the first time that she felt like he was hunting her with his eyes. If she hadn’t lied about Curly expecting her, she didn’t want to think about what Jimmy wanted to talk to her about. 
In the cockpit, Curly sat, exhausted and a little frustrated. He had heard enough of his co-pilot’s complaints of having to stay shut in there all day and couldn’t blame him for his cabin fever induced by the cramped and overstimulating room, so he sent him to bed, not taking too much effort to assure him that he could take care of the steering for the night. A small knock on the door snapped him out of his fatigue only slightly, and he cautiously put on autopilot to get up and open the door. He opened the door to find (Y/N), the object of his thoughts when he needed some comfort from this hellish leg of their journey. 
“Hey,” she said shyly. “Figured you might still be up and over here. How are you?” He slowly moved his arms around her, engulfing her in a hug and letting out a tired sigh. 
“We’re in a bit of a rough patch of our journey, but we’ll make it through.” He looked down at the mug of coffee she held in her hands. “Is that for me?” He asked. She nodded, bringing the cup closer for him to take it. Tenderness filled his expression as he took the cup and moved his other hand to place his palm against her cheek. “Thank you. Can I…” He trailed off, hesitant as he darted his eyes to her lips, unsure of where things were where they left it a few days ago. She nodded, closing the gap herself, conveying as much care as she could through the kiss. Breaking away, she looked over at the multitude of screens. 
“So, what are we up to tonight?” she asked. 
Curly raised an eyebrow. “We?” 
“Uh, yeah. Seems like you decided to throw a slumber party in the cockpit and didn’t think to invite me, so I’m inviting myself,” she stated simply, moving towards the chairs. 
He looked at her in disbelief, amused by her antics. “Okay, very well then.” He sat down back in his seat before patting his lap. “Want to join me here?”
(Y/N) felt shy with this new level of intimacy with the man she had only gotten to know and catch feelings for within the past few weeks. She was a grown woman with independence to do whatever she liked back on Earth but it had been a while since her last romantic encounter, and this level of vulnerability was uncomfortable to her but not unwelcome.
Lowering herself down into the chair to sit on one of his thighs, her shoulders lay perpendicular to his, resting against his chest as he wrapped an arm around her waist and a hand on her thigh. Concerned, she broke the silence. “Are you sure you’re okay steering like this if I’m sitting on you?”
“Of course. Most of the steering is done by autopilot anyway. All I’m doing is making minor adjustments to the course every fifteen to twenty minutes or so.” His hand moved to her knee, rubbing his thumb against the material of her pants. 
She rested her head on his chest, trying to see if she could hear his heart beating when she yawned. “Oh, there it is.”
“Hmm?” he looked down at her, amused by how comfortable she had already gotten, and so quickly too. Space had a way of making people feel lonely in a way they never experienced before. After so many years of flying with Pony Express, Curly thought he had gotten used to it, but in that moment when the two of them sought comfort from each other, he realised how wrong his assumption was. With her, things were moving quickly, but in a place as lonely and isolating as space, he thanked his lucky stars for such an easy person to talk to, someone understanding of his ambitions and desires and wouldn’t fault him for them like his friends did. It made sense how fast these feelings approached and manifested into what they were now – her, curled up on his lap with her head on his chest, trying her best to force herself to stay awake with struggling success. 
“Curly?” She looked up at him. He smiled, hearing her drop the title and nodded for her to continue. “This feels like it’s moving so fast.”
“Us?” he questioned. 
“Yeah…” She trailed off, mentally kicking herself for not knowing what exactly she was trying to say.
Curly moved forward a bit to adjust the position of the ship with manual steering before leaning back in the chair and sucking in a breath. He watched as the ship coordinates blipped forward on the screen, moving frame by frame. “I’ve been doing this with Pony Express for nearly a decade now. Every time I leave, every time I return, I always have a routine I never break. I’ll have drinks with Jimmy and a few of our other friends to catch up on what we missed back home at the same dive bar we always go to. I’ll spend some time with my widowed aunt who lives alone and has no children, just to make sure her insurance is up to date and to keep her company as much as I can. The family-owned Chinese restaurant that’s only a few blocks away from where I live will be waiting for me so that the owner could complain that I got thinner returning from space and encourage me to stuff myself with char kway teow and collard greens while sitting with his younger son, telling him to study hard so he could someday become a captain like me and make a lot of money. I feel like I come back as the same Curly, year after year, and even though my routine stays the same, everything around me changes. Friends get married and have children, my aunt gets older, heck, that little boy from the Chinese restaurant just started high school, I think.” 
He stared at (Y/N) with what she read as sadness in his eyes. “There isn’t really such a thing as time out here. I lose track of it so easily. Whenever we return to Earth it feels like everything around me goes by so quickly and I feel like I’m always missing out, so I’m glad you’re here,” he said, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face before tucking them behind her ear. “I’m glad that you joined us so that we could get close so quickly. It makes me feel like I’m back on Earth, going the same pace as everybody else is. Every time we talk, every time I see you, I feel grounded. I feel normal.” 
He buried his fingers into her hair as he pulled her in for another kiss, trying to convey all of the want he had for her through the shared contact of their lips. Her hands were splayed across his chest, and she dragged them up to his shoulders, gripping the collar of his coveralls. 
Breaking away, his hands dropped back down to loop around her waist as he gave her a look that ached with so much longing. 
She broke his gaze trying to stifle a yawn, making him chuckle. Placing his hand on her head, he brought it down to lay on his chest. 
“Rest, hun. There’s no need to torture yourself to stay up with me.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. 
“But you’re going to be up all night trying to make sure things are fine.” She frowned. 
“It’s okay. A pretty lady came by earlier to bring me a cup of coffee, see?” He raised the mug up to his lips to take a drink and she scoffed. 
(Y/N) kept her eyes open, not moving from her position on Curly’s lap, straining her eyes staring at the screens before her eyelids lost the battle of staying open.
ugh. Be still, my heart. I love a good monologue, if you couldn't already tell. I also cannot stop thinking about Curly's thighs. Thank you for all the support so far :D
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inubaki · 2 days ago
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Taking What’s His
-chapter 1
—-warning for Adam x Lucifer smut -
—-a commission I bought from @libby-for-life for my birthday. The art pieces by @sir-tater-of-the-tot!
Adam was mad beyond belief. About two weeks ago, he had gone to sleep in Heaven after a long night of drinking. The next day, he had somehow woke up in Eden. At first, he thought it was a pleasant dream. Then he saw Lilith and thought it was a nightmare. 
He hadn't dreamt of Lilith in years and she was just as distant and cold as she always was. Adam ignored her this time as well; he was dreaming, so why not? He spent most of the time by himself.
Until he accidentally hurt himself. Seeing the red blood drip onto the emerald-green grass made Adam's heart skip a beat. No...you couldn't get hurt in dreams...
He had a full-blown panic attack right then and there. His breathing was so erratic he almost passed out. This was real. This wasn't a dream. He was really back in Eden, and somehow, he was no longer an angel in Heaven.
What kind of bullshit was this?!
He decided he wanted nothing to do with Lucifer or Lilith. Let them play out their fantasy but leave him out of it. He did everything to avoid them. He also knew how much Lucifer wanted to talk to him. He knew exactly what it was going to be about and he was not going to be offered anything.
So he avoided him until he couldn't anymore. Lucifer finally found him and he had the biggest smile as he tried to give him Forbidden Fruit. He could even see some of the black on his wrists. Couldn't he see how he was poisoning himself and how wanted to do the same to Adam?!
Adam couldn't help it. All the patience he had for this shit stain was coming to a head and he couldn't help but growl.
Lucifer flinched. "Adam?"
It was sudden, and Adam honestly should have thought it out, but he was far too angry. He grabbed the little angel by the throat and slammed him to the floor. Lucifer coughed in surprise; there was no way Adam could actually hurt him and knelt before the smaller creature.
"Damn you, little shit!" Adam cried out as he forced the robe Lucifer was wearing over his crotch. Adam smirked as Lucifer blushed in surprise and embarrassment when he noticed Adam looking at his privates. It was so small compared to Adam's, and he couldn't help but flick it harshly.
"I'll teach you to try and trick me!" 
"Wah! Adam!" Lucifer cried as he was spread, hands gripping his thighs so Adam could see what he was working with.
"You need to be taught a lesson."
Lucifer's eyes widened when he saw just how big Adam was compared to him. And now, with it fully erect, he could see just how truly big he was. Adam...couldn't be putting that in him...right?
But Adam was grinning in a way that made Lucifer shiver. He had never seen the First Man like this. What happened to the Adam who was innocent and sweet? This Adam was grinning feral-like at him and it was causing Lucifer to blush.
"Okay, bitch. You're only getting a little prep. More than you deserve."
Prep? What? Lucifer squeaked when Adam spit onto his hole before two fingers entered him. It was tight and Lucifer squirmed in discomfort.
Now, Lucifer did have the power to throw him off if he needed to but...the Archangel wanted, no, needed, to see where this goes. Adam stretched him for a few minutes before growling, "times up, bitch. Bark for me." Lucifer howled when Adam entered him at a brutal pace but not out of pain.
It was one of pleasure. Pleasure he hadn't known even with Lilith. He cried in ecstasy as Adam pounded into him, smirking all the while.
"Adam! P-please! S-slow down!" He cried, not wanting to finish so early. But Adam was on a roll and he would not be deterred. "Take what I give you, bitch!" 
They did this several times in several positions, and each time Lucifer felt more full and satisfied. Adam picked him up after their fourth romp and shook his face a little. "Still with me?" Adam taunted. Lucifer nodded lazily. "Yes, Adam...."
"Call me Master," Adam practically purred with the biggest smirk. Lucifer didn't know why but he repeated it without question. "Yes, Master..."
Lucifer was suddenly brought to his knees, Adam's still leaking dick brought to his face. Lucifer didn't know what he wanted for a second until the head of his appendage was wiped all over his lips. "Open wide, slut." Lucifer didn't know that word but it sounded degrading and Lucifer shivered in pleasure.
Lucifer opened his mouth obediently and Adam shoved his way inside roughly, making him moan. Adam was so rough and dominant...he couldn't help but love it. Lilith could be dominant of course but this was nothing she had ever done. She had nothing on Adam.
I'm not going back to Heaven, am I?
Lucifer thought as he was throat fucked, his eyes rolling as he felt Adam go deeper until his nose was brushing Adam's crotch.
He didn't care. Not if Adam gave him this all the time. He would gladly give his halo up for this. Suddenly, Adam ripped the long thick appendage from his throat and Lucifer whined at the loss.
The First Man chuckled. "Hold still." And Lucifer yelped as his face was covered in Adam's release. He blinked, whimpering a bit as he looked at Adam with tears in his eyes. He gasped as the First Man looked at him, his eyes holding a soft look that he remembered so clearly...
"Hm...looking cute, my pretty duck." Lucifer blushed heavily, Adam's semen dripping off his face and out of his ass. The First Man picked up the fruit that Lucifer had tried offering him and then picked up the angel by his robe.
"Find some other sucker to trick, Ducky." And then he placed the fruit into Lucifer's mouth, making sure he bit down. Lucifer was dropped onto the floor and the First Man left with a laugh.
Lucifer still felt dazed, the fruit spat out as he shakily got to his feet. He should clean the semen out of his ass but...he somehow didn't want to. He wobbled away and out of the Garden, towards Lilith but he only had one thing on his mind now that no one could possibly satisfy.
Lilith was horrified at his state, his arms,  hands, and legs now a dark black. "What happened?!" Lucifer could only smile in a daze as he looked at Lilith. How can he explain perfection without sounding mad?
Lilith fingered the bite mark on Lucifer's neck...what had happened? Did they fight? Then she saw the dry semen on his legs and she realized what happened. Lucifer didn't seem hurt...he seemed satisfied. More than anything they had ever done when they mated.
The next few dozen suns that passed only made Lucifer's newfound obsession set in deeper. He needed Adam like he breathed air. And he began to stalk him for long hours, just to get a glimpse of him.
Finding new ways to see Adam was hard. Especially since it was clear he kept avoiding him. But that didn't stop him from trying.
When he finally caught Adam it was by surprise as he was bathing. The First Man jumped when he felt something hug his torso in a death grip. Turing around with a scowl, he glared down at Lucifer as he held on with the biggest grin on his face.
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"Are you fucking serious? Let go!" Adam demanded but Lucifer was determined. "Please, Adam! Don't leave! Can't we do what did last time?! Can't we mate?! I promise I'll be good!" Lucifer begged, his eyes big and bright but the grip on Adam was unrelenting.
Adam blinked, tilting his head before realization brought a slow smirk across his face. He grabbed Lucifer by the hair and brought him closer. "So...you need Master again, hm?" Lucifer's eyes closed and he nodded, gold staining his cheeks. 
"Let go and we can have a quickie since you're so desperate."
Adam was true to his word. The First Man had other stuff to do and fucking the angel into a purring mess certainly hadn’t been on that list. But he'd be lying if he wasn't tempted to fuck THE Lucifer Morningstar into his place again.
He was fast and rough, just how the angel wanted. Lucifer moaned, high and needy as he ripped grass at the roots from how hard he was clenching the ground. Adam only grinned and slapped his ass.
He finished their romp with Adam cumming inside Lucifer three times while the angel could only sob his name. After, Adam sat back and admired Lucifer's gold, bruised and dripping ass, finding he didn’t mind in admitting to himself just how much he’d enjoyed it. The black markings on Lucifer’s hands, starting from plucking the forbidden fruit, had already spread to his wrists.
Lucifer didn't even seem to notice nor care as the inky blackness tainted more and more of his white skin.
Adam honestly didn't care either. So what if Lucifer's body was falling into corruption? That's not his problem. He left Lucifer to clean himself up.
Adam knew he should have cut it off. Left whatever they had going on that day die by the lake he was bathing in. But...he couldn't. Lucifer kept coming back for more and he was persistent in what he wanted. Sex from the Dick Master himself.
Adam should have been flattered, and some part of him was since he was sticking it to Lilith, but another part was concerned. Just slightly. Every time they had sex...Lucifer kept looking worse and worse. His once angelic appearance turning into something dark and twisted. Demonic.
What really hit the nail on the head was when the small idiot was giving him a blow job. He was smiling in that soft silly way that made Adam know he was stuck in his own head space. He looked cute getting drunk off his must and pre-cum. But what really had his attention was the little tips poking out of Lucifer’s forehead. It didn't take a genius to know it was horns.
And it looked painful, ripping through his skin and little beads of angelic blood dripping and staining his hair. Lucifer seemed blissfully uncaring of this, happy to drink up Adam's cum as he came in his mouth.
That's when he started noticing other differences as well. His once slender fingers looked like claws, leaving deep grooves in the ground. His moans sounded...demonic. and his feathers. His beautiful blue feathers looked like they were falling out and growing new red ones in it's place.
When they were done, Lucifer wobbled away. Some of it was because he had been on his knees for over an hour, but the way he walked...like he had broken legs.
Adam knew he had to quit what they were doing. As much as he told himself that he didn't care...a small part of him did. A small part that didn't want to see such a painfull-looking transformation happen right in front of him.
Adam was done. This wasn't fun anymore. And good thing too...they were making him his wife. Adam was a lot of things but unfaithful wasn't one of them.
——
Next:
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nhlclover · 2 days ago
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𝐇𝐄𝐘!
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madeleine chase x will smith
madeleine sees the tweets about wills comments, her interest piquing as she learns about him (wc; 1.1k)
༉‧₊˚. ꒰ notes! ꒱ just a reminder that jayden is an oc! also a little insight into maddie and how she feels about will
au masterlist
“Hey, have you heard of a Will Smith?” Madeleine asked, leaning over to give Jayden a playful pinch on the arm.
Jayden glanced up from the pair of jeans she was stitching patches of fabric onto, her eyebrows raised in confusion. “Uh, yeah, duh. Men in Black? Fresh Prince?” She wiggled her fingers for dramatic effect like she was casting a spell or something.
Madeleine rolled her eyes, shaking her head with a soft sigh. “No, not the actor. This Will Smith plays hockey.”
Jayden’s nose scrunched as she looked like she was scanning her memories to see if it rang a bell. She glanced back at her sewing as she came up empty. “Hmmm, no clue,” she finally said, her lips curving into a playful grin. “But, I feel like hockey guys are normally hot… is he?”
Madeleine snorted, scrolling through her phone. Her screen was lit up with notifications — tweets, comments, even a few random tags — about Will Smith. A wave of excitement washed over her as she scanned the comments: ‘he’s so in love with her,’ ‘omg please let them be the taylor and travis of the nhl,’ ‘this would be the hottest couple.’ Her heart fluttered. The whole thing felt ridiculous, but there was a part of her that couldn’t stop smiling.
“I mean… yeah,” Madeleine admitted, her voice light. “Pretty attractive. Tall, athletic, you know the type.”
Jayden gave her a knowing smirk, not looking up from her stitches. “Why are you asking about him, though?”
Madeleine bit her lip, unsure of how to phrase it without sounding like she was bragging. She scrolled a little further, her thumb hesitating before she answered. “Apparently… this guy went on a podcast and said he has a crush on me. Now, a bunch of people are freaking out on Twitter about it.”
She tapped over to YouTube, pulling up the podcast that everyone was talking about. After skipping through the intro and some chatter, Madeleine found the moment: the hosts asked Will about his celebrity crush, and without missing a beat, he said her name. A grin spread across his face, and he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck like he was embarrassed. The boyish smile made her stomach flip. There was something about the way he said it, as if he was just a regular guy, not a professional hockey player with fans swooning over him.
“He's kind of… adorable,” Madeleine murmured under her breath, her heart skipping a beat. She glanced over at Jayden, who was still watching her curiously, her fingers resting lightly on the fabric in front of her.
“Adorable?” Jayden echoed with a raised brow, her lips twitching into a teasing smile.
Madeleine shook her head, trying to ignore the warmth spreading across her cheeks. She swiped off the podcast and switched to Instagram, quickly typing in Will Smith’s name. It didn’t take long to find him — there he was, his profile filled with pictures of him on the ice, hanging out with teammates, and, of course, a few casual selfies. In every photo, he looked effortlessly charming, that same confident smile lighting up his face. It made her stomach flutter more than she wanted to admit.
“Okay, he’s definitely hot,” she mumbled, more to herself than to Jayden, but her friend still caught it.
Jayden snickered, her attention drifting back to her sewing. “Told you. Hockey guys. Always.”
Madeleine kept scrolling, her fingers absentmindedly moving from one picture to the next until she landed on something that made her pause. A message. Sitting right at the top of her DMs: ‘hey :)’. She blinked, half expecting it to disappear, but there it was — simple, casual, and from Will himself.
“Oh my god,” she whispered, barely able to contain her excitement. “He DM’ed me.”
Jayden’s needle fell from her hand, her eyes wide as she dropped everything. “No way. What did he say?” Her voice dropped to a dramatic, slightly sarcastic whisper as if this was the most scandalous thing she’d ever heard.
Madeleine rolled her eyes, though her grin was impossible to hide. “Just ‘hey’ with a smiley face.” She held up her phone, showing the message to Jayden, who leaned in for a closer look.
"Wow, clever line." Jayden joked, rolling her eyes. "Y'know, straight guys are actually terrible at picking up girls."
"Okay, focus please?" Madeleine said, drawing her friends attention back to the situation at hand.
“Right... So, are you gonna answer?”
Madeleine stared at the message, her mind racing. Should she? Was this a big deal or just harmless fun?
“I don’t know,” Madeleine admitted, biting her lip. “I mean, it’s kind of surreal, right? A hockey player I’ve never met just says he has a crush on me, and now he’s sliding into my DMs.”
Jayden shrugged, a teasing smile on her lips. “Yeah, but you could at least see where it goes. He’s obviously into you, and worst-case scenario, you don’t vibe, and that’s it. Best case? You become a new athlete-popstar power couple. Just imagine that.”
Madeleine couldn’t help but laugh, but the thought lingered in her mind as she scrolled through Will’s Instagram again. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to respond. After all, he seemed nice, genuine even, and her curiosity was definitely piqued. What harm could a simple reply do?
“What should I even say?” Madeleine asked, her fingers hovering over the keypad.
Jayden thought for a second. “Just say ‘hey’ back.” she shrugged. “It’s simple, and that way you can make him start the conversation.”
She typed, paused, and then erased her message twice before settling on something simple, mirroring his tone.
‘hi!’
With a squeal, Madeleine clicked send, tossing her phone on the table. “Okay, I sent it.”
“Look at you, making the first move!” Jayden said, squeezing her shoulder lightly.
“I mean, technically he made the first move by shooting his shot on a podcast and DM’ing me,” Madeleine commented.
Madeleine leaned back, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. Whether it turned into something or not, it was exciting, and maybe, just maybe, it would lead to something more than just a cute DM.
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hannahssimblr · 4 hours ago
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“Don’t overthink it,” I say. “They can smell that, you know? They sniff out insecurity.”
“You make them sound like beasts.”
“No. No, they’re not. They’re not that scary.”
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“Right. It’s just you keep going on about how un-scared and completely chilled you are, and you bringing it up like, fifty times is making me feel like you actually are a bit frightened of them,” Jen, cross-legged on my bedroom floor, pats glitter onto her eyelids. “They’re just bouncers. How bad can they be? Surely not worse than those bastards in Dublin.”
“They’re not violent, they’re just judgmental.”
She rolls her eyes. “Oh, no. They’ll judge me. What’ll I do? I’m immune to it. Unless it’s my mam there at the door, I won’t be phased.”
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“I’m just trying to prepare you for the realty. You know? Like, if you don’t get in, you shouldn’t take it personally, because they’re so particular, and honestly, most people get turned away.”
“But not you?”
“Hm?”
“Not you? You’ve gotten in to Berghain already?”
“Oh, yeah, of course.”
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I haven’t. Tonight will be my sixth attempt, and crossing the threshold has become my most pressing need since I moved. Each time, I pray the bouncers will see past whatever it is about me they find so unsuitable for their club, but each time I am disappointed. Maybe Jen will be my good luck charm, and will be so distracting at the door that nobody even sees me slip past. 
“Well,” she shrugs. “If they let you in, then they mustn’t be very picky at all.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m messing.”
“But not really.”
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Jen laughs into the mirror. “No,” she says. “Not really.”
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In the Berghain queue, I adopt a new method of staying perfectly silent and still. I am a statue in black denim, as techno beats throb from within the looming walls of the club. The party is continuing from the night before. I am nervous, but I try not to show it on my face, nor the movements of my body. Jen offers me some of the cigarette she is sharing with Jonas, and I shake my head, for fear that this act, or any act at all, will draw too much attention. That it will set off the radar of the doormen, guarding the club with their mysterious rules. 
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“Cold, isn’t it?” Jen comments, and I wish she wouldn’t. 
“Mm.” I reply. A group of men are turned away. 
“They must be too drunk.”
“Maybe.”
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We stand mute for the next half an hour, Jonas bobbing his head to the music as the queue shortens ahead of us. He gets in every time no matter what he does. He is never nervous.
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We reach the top, and my palms sweat despite the cold, fisted inside the pockets of my coat. Jen keeps a straight face, like I told her. She doesn’t speak. A doorman examines her, and Jonas, and me. 
“Welkommen,” he says, and waves us inside. 
I have been holding my breath. I let it out in a rush. Someone asks for my phone, puts a green sticker over the camera. I hardly dare to look around me. 
I am inside, awash with approval. 
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“Very grungy,” Jen comments, nonchalant, as we climb a staircase to the main hall. The industrial fittings from the building’s electrical plant history, with soaring, concrete ceilings and pipe and disintegrating tile, plastered with stickers, German slogans I only partially understand. 
It is the wall of sound that takes me by surprise. The immense noise of it that invades my body and vibrates through me, my heart thumping in time with the beat. 
“Christ,” I say, though nobody hears me. My voice is inside my own ears and nowhere else. Around us, bodies drift upon the dancefloor, arms up, weaving together as though moving underwater. I’m in another realm, like diving beneath the surface, time liquid, direction lost. Hundreds of bodies move in leather and latex, with chains and spikes, studs, laces, and masks. These people could be scary, but it isn’t like that. It’s mesmerising. Disorienting. There is a moment where I leave my body, and forget where I am, and I’m drifting above them. 
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Jen yanks me down, her mouth against my ear. “Do you know where your friends are?” 
“Somewhere,” I bellow, and shrug, staring out over the sea of dancers under the lights and the smoke. Impossible to tell one person from another. One thousand shades of black. “In there. We can go in.”
“Yeah, okay,” She grabs my hand, then Jonas’, and pulls us toward the churning centre. 
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I do not understand this brutal music, but I pretend to. It thuds on, repetitive. It rattles my bones and I close my eyes and smell the cigarette smoke and sweat. I move with the wave. 
“Jude, baby!” hands are on me, and there is Elias, glitter on his face, and his pupils black. Next to him, Dalia, the same, her curls sticking to her forehead, jaw gurning. 
“We found you so easy,” she says, close to my ear. “You stick out.”
“Oh. Because I don't belong in here.”
“Nah. Because you’re tall as fuck. This your friend?” She’s reaching for Jen with fingers wiggling, her signature warm smile made edgy by the manic look of her eyes.
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Jen meets them, Elias and Dalia, and I can’t hear what they’re screaming into each other’s faces, but they’re smiling, because she’s likeable. As I watch them, my eyes settle upon a dusting of white powder in the fibres of Dalia’s top, and I feel hungry. We’ve been doing this a lot these last few months, not at Berghain, obviously, because of my unsuitability, but in other clubs, other parties. It’s fun, the way it is here, the culture around the drugs. It doesn’t feel dirty the way it did when I was in school, like I didn’t know what I was taking. The things I put into my mouth or up my nose could have been scooped off the floor of a Portaloo, for all I knew. This is different. I like it more. But it’s fine, it’s like cigarettes. I don’t really smoke. I don’t really do drugs, either.
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Within five minutes, Elias, Jonas and I are doing lines in the toilets, and then we’re dancing with the girls for some undeterminable amount of time. The music pounds on, we smoke cigarettes, the liquid crowd swirls.  
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“You’re on it,” Jen says, peering into my eyes as we sit in a lounge above the techno room, and I feel guilty, because it’s her, and I used to try and be sober when we were together. 
“Nope.”
“Where did you get it?”
“Nowhere.”
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She digs around in my pockets, and I knock her hands away from me. “Get out of there. I don’t want you stealing my chewing gum wrappers and bits of lint.”
“Oh, come on.” She shoves her hand into the back pocket of my jeans. 
“Stop grabbing my arse, you filthy little freak.”
“What are you doing, Jenny?” Elias cries. “What do you want, darling?”
“Nothing,” I say, giggling now, and I firmly plant her hands back in her lap.
“I think Jude has drugs. I wanted to see them.”
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“Oh, he doesn’t. But I do.” Elias produces a baggie of pills and tips one into his hand. “Here, I’m not leaving anyone out of the fun.”
I panic and snatch it before she can. I tip it into my mouth and swallow. Jen gapes at me as I grimace. “That was for me!” She cries.
“Was it? Too bad. It’s mine now.”
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Elias rolls his eyes. “Oh, Jude, don’t be so selfish. Don’t worry, Jen.” He offers her another pill, and again, I snatch it, and I swallow it before she can. Now she stares at me, her brows drawn, confused and annoyed. “Hey! Stop robbing them,” she says. “Those were for me.”
I grin. “Well, too slow.”
“You’re cracked.”
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Her nostrils flare, and there is a twinge of anxiety in my stomach, as I know my body will make me pay for this later, but the impulse to protect Jen is much stronger than my self-preservation instincts. It’s not that I was foolish enough to assume drugs would not be present, abundant even, at Berghain, but I didn’t think Jen would try to take them. After all that stuff from before, the images still burned into my brain, of fourteen, crying in Michelle’s bathroom as her dad held Jen over the tub, the plastic tube, and her sobs.
Again, Elias reaches for the bag, and this time I push his hand away, “No, Elias,” I say, “Leave it. She can’t have any.”
“Oh, stop. She wants them!” He winks at her and smiles that big, white veneer smile of his, but he doesn’t understand. I tighten my grip on his fist. “No,” I repeat. “She doesn’t need them.”
“I can do what I like,” she says, and like me, she’s trying to keep the tone jovial, but her voice is rising, tightening. 
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I lower my face to hers, and mutter to her through gritted teeth so nobody else can hear, “No, you can’t.”
She coughs out some outraged imitation of a laugh. “I’m a grown woman,” she says, which is absurd. She is eighteen. It’s an argument for argument’s sake, which is so frustratingly Jen that I could scream.
Instead, I soften my voice and attempt to be reasonable, “C’mon, Jen. I know you know where I’m coming from.”
“Well, you’re creating a fuss in front of everyone.”
She’s right. My friends sit around us staring at anything but the situation gradually escalating in front of them. “What’s the alternative? Do I try to explain my way of thinking to you, or do I do an entire bag just to prove a point?”
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She huffs, her face reddening. “How come you can do them, then? Huh? You’re there with your big black eyes and cocaine on your upper lip, and you’re going to tell me what I can’t do?”
I touch my face, and my fingers come away with a light dusting. Later, I will be ashamed of the two seconds I spent looking at the residue, visualising rubbing it into my gums while she’s sitting there looking at me. “It’s different,” I insist.
“Why’s it different? We hung out in the same places, tried the same things, you don’t–”
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“Well, I can stop anytime I like,” I hiss, “And you can’t.”
She makes a little outraged sound. “You can’t say that to me!”
“Well, it’s true, because–”
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“Hey! How about we all dance?” Dalia says, rising to her feet and hauling me out of the seat. “Let’s go downstairs.”
“Yes!” says Jonas. “I think that’s a good idea.”
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Our discussion ends there, and down we go to the techno floor, diving back into the sea of dancers. I come up there, washed by a wave of euphoria as the beat hammers on, and I think I get it. I think I get the thing about techno. 
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Jen dances with Elias, their skin sweat sheened, and I take her hand to pull her closer to me. “I’m sorry, Jenny,” I say. “I shouldn’t have said that to you. Upstairs, like.”
“It’s okay. I don’t care.”
“It wasn’t nice.”
“Well, you were probably right.”
“It’s not right to talk to you like that, especially in front of people. I–”
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“Forget it!” she says, and grins with that snaggletooth smile she’s had since ten. She dances around me, and we hold one another’s hands, and it strikes me that nothing really matters with me and Jen. No matter how much time has passed or how much we change, nothing can ever touch us. And now, in Berlin, sweat in our hair and our hearts matching the DJs rhythm, we’re swimming together, riding a wave, four hundred miles from the sea. 
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kathlare · 14 hours ago
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surprise in the spotlight
Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman
Summary: Amelie takes the stage at Governor’s Ball, basking in the electric energy of the crowd and her passion for performing. A surprise visit from someone special adds an unexpected warmth to an already unforgettable night, reminding her that success feels sweeter when shared with love.
Wordcount: 1.1 k
Warnings: fluff, smau
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June 10th, 2024 - New York City, NY
The New York City skyline was breathtaking as the sun began to set over Randall’s Island. Amelie stood backstage at Governors Ball, adjusting the small in-ear monitor in her left ear while her stylist gave her outfit one last glance.
The energy backstage was electric, with crew members darting back and forth, performers rehearsing last-minute cues, and the hum of the crowd growing louder with anticipation. Amelie’s heart raced, not from nerves but from adrenaline. This was her element.
She did one final vocal warmup as her band took their places. The setlist had been carefully curated: a mix of songs from emails i can’t send and her newer tracks, Espresso and Please Please Please, which had already taken on a life of their own on TikTok. She smiled at the thought.
—Alright, Amelie,— her manager called out, giving her a thumbs-up. —You’re on in five.—
Taking a deep breath, she nodded, gripping the microphone in her hand.
The crowd roared as Amelie stepped onto the stage, the first notes of Read your Mind ringing out. She scanned the sea of faces, soaking in the energy. People were singing along, their hands in the air, the glow of phones lighting up the twilight. It was overwhelming in the best way possible.
By the time she reached the middle of her set, the energy had only grown. She was halfway through Please Please Please when she caught a familiar face in the crowd. Her heart skipped a beat.
There, standing near the barricade with her team, was Lando.
He was wearing a casual black hoodie, the hood pulled up in an attempt to blend in, but she would have recognized that cheeky grin anywhere. His arms were crossed, but when their eyes met, he waved like an excited kid.
Amelie nearly missed a lyric, her mind momentarily distracted by the unexpected sight of her boyfriend in the crowd. He wasn’t supposed to be here—he’d just raced in Canada the day before!
A smile broke across her face, and the crowd erupted even louder, thinking it was for them. She kept singing, but her eyes kept darting back to him, unable to believe he’d flown across countries just to surprise her.
After the final song, Amelie stepped off the stage, breathless and exhilarated. The cheers of the crowd still echoed in her ears as she made her way backstage. Her manager approached, congratulating her on a killer performance, but she could barely focus.
—Where’s Lando?— she asked, glancing around.
—Out front,— her manager said, grinning. —He’s been trying not to draw too much attention, but good luck with that.—
Amelie laughed, making a beeline for the barricade where she’d seen him. As soon as she stepped out, there he was, leaning casually against the fence like he hadn’t just pulled off the sweetest surprise.
—You absolute idiot,— she said, grinning as she reached him.
—You’re welcome,— he replied, pulling her into a tight hug.
She buried her face in his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of him mixed with a hint of travel. —What are you doing here?—
—Had to see my girl,— he said, his voice soft but playful. —You crushed it, by the way.—
—You’re insane,— she said, pulling back to look at him. —You just raced yesterday!—
—Worth it.— He gave her a lopsided smile, and her heart melted a little.
—Come on,— she said, grabbing his hand. —Let’s get out of here before someone recognizes you.—
Back at her apartment, the energy from the festival still buzzed through her veins. Lando flopped onto the couch, stretching out like he owned the place.
—You know,— he said, watching her as she moved around the kitchen, —you could’ve warned me that seeing you on stage would be that hot.—
Amelie rolled her eyes but smirked. —Oh, so this is about you now?—
—Always,— he replied, sitting up and reaching for her hand. He tugged her onto the couch, pulling her into his lap.
—You’re so full of yourself,— she said, but her tone was teasing.
—Only because you make me feel like I’m on top of the world,— he said, leaning in to nuzzle her neck.
—Cheesy,— she muttered, laughing, but her laugh turned into a soft sigh as his lips brushed against her skin.
—I mean it,— he said, his voice dropping. —You’re incredible, and watching you tonight? I couldn’t take my eyes off you.—
Her cheeks flushed, and she tilted her head to meet his gaze. —You’re not bad yourself, Mr. Norris.—
He grinned, his hands sliding to her waist. —Not bad? That’s all I get?—
—You can have this too,— she said, leaning in to kiss him. It was slow and sweet, but the moment their lips met, it ignited a spark that neither of them could ignore.
Lando deepened the kiss, his hands exploring her back as her fingers tangled in his hair. The intensity grew, their breaths mingling as they lost themselves in each other.
—Lando,— she whispered, pulling back slightly.
—Hmm?— he murmured, chasing her lips.
—I can’t.—
His brows furrowed, concern flashing across his face. —What’s wrong?—
—I’m on my period,— she said bluntly, biting her lip.
Lando froze, blinking at her before groaning dramatically and flopping back against the couch. —Are you kidding me?—
She burst out laughing, sliding off his lap but staying close. —Sorry, lover boy. Bad timing.—
—This is a tragedy,— he said, covering his face with his hands. —The worst day of my life.—
—You’ll survive,— she said, patting his chest.
He peeked at her through his fingers, a sly grin forming. —Doesn’t mean I can’t still kiss you senseless.—
—Try it, and I’ll throw you out,— she said, but her laughter betrayed her.
They spent the rest of the night curled up on the couch, her head resting on his shoulder as they talked about everything and nothing. Lando might have been overdramatic, but deep down, he was just happy to be there with her.
--------------
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liked by gracieabrams, manudayman, and others
ameliedayman: Gov ball that was one of the biggest loudest most playful crowds l’ve ever seen. so grateful for each and every one!!!! Thanks for having us!
View all 9,506 comments
landonorris: So grateful for this view too 😏🔥 → ameliedayman: @landonorris Keep hyping me up, babe. It’s working. 😘
alexwolffofficial: And she ate. Left no crumbs. Per usual. 🔥 → ameliedayman: @alexwolffofficial Love you, hypeman 🖤
livinforf1: She really said “watch me shine,” and Lando said “I’m blinded.” 😂
hatersgonnahate: Honestly, she’s overhyped. Crowd was probably just drunk. 🤷‍♀️
lovers44: Imagine performing for thousands and your man still makes it all about him. 💀
chillvibes101: She’s so iconic. Lando, you’re punching. 😌 → landonorris: @chillvibes101 I know, and I’ll keep punching if it means she’s mine.
teamamelie: The vocals, the energy, the LOOK. Gov Ball wasn’t ready for you, babe!
landoarmy: Lando probably sent her 100 texts after this. Let her breathe, king. 😂
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magebastard · 22 hours ago
Text
a rarer height
wc: 1019
ship: loua ‘rook’ mercar x lucanis dellamorte
rating: t
notes: datv spoilers! plotless mush! this ran away from me and i want it OUT of my head! prob takes place after the romance lock-in point or a time shortly after.
It’s foolish.
She should leave their cozy kitchen in their cozy nook of their deceptively cozy dining hall.
Instead, Loua brings a scalding cup of bitter, black coffee to her lips and leans incorrigibly against the counter. She watches his hands while he works. He hums as he cooks for them all. She wonders if it’s truly an idle habit or if he’s keeping himself awake.
Before this mess began, she remembers her blood racing and heart warming to the sight of deadly competence. Her fellow Shadows exuding the strength of righteous purpose. Combat prowess, stratagem, kindness and authority. She had a type, damn it.
The hearth fire casts the chamber in a golden glow. No one else is in this hall and Lucanis is quietly humming and murmuring measurements to himself.
“If I wanted to poison you, I assure you I’d already have done so,” he’d teased with one of those angular, jabbing smiles on his face. And, well, he could have. It wouldn’t even be difficult. She’d drink poison from the cups of his rough, quick hands if he kept his eyes on hers. He wouldn’t even have to try. What a dissatisfying kill for an adept assassin.
It’s confusing more than it is anything else. Lucanis is competent, authoritative and kind. And her heart did respond to those things. A torchlight in her chest, bright and undeniable.
Though it’s negligible beside the inferno made of him when they are at rest.
The trouble is (and the thrill is) that he’s shy. Not traditionally—no stammering, no fumbling. It’s sweeter. Reserved. When Loua freely pours her affection out for him, he stares for just a moment. At first, she worried she’d made him uncomfortable. And wouldn’t that be an awkward card, in the already nightmarish hand of circumstance?
They’d been walking, leisurely strolling through the canal district. Meeting Illario for coffee in Treviso, before it all went sour. Killing time had become novel enough to delight and Loua felt drunk with it. A violet hue from the city’s mage lights colored the night and the cut of his cheeks handsomely.
“It’s a beautiful city.” she’d said.
“It is.” he’d replied so fondly.
“It certainly suits you.”
Loua remembers the breath where she thought she’d fucked up immeasurably. Lucanis had stared straight ahead for a long beat. She would have bet that he’d kindly rebuff her for her boldness. His jaw worked over and over as if he were chewing on his words. She almost backpedaled to free him from having to say anything at all.
But the seismic upward quirk of his lips and the mirth in his tired, dark eyes stilled something in her, in turn. It wasn’t fair. She had to be clever and charming to disarm him and all he had to do was look. All the odds in the Thedas were stacked against her. The blighted, hateful non-gods must be cackling to themselves at the weakness of the fool sent to slay them.
Things had only gotten more pathetic from there.
But Lucanis began relenting in inches, showing his own attachment to her in turn.
Zara was dead and Illario would face retribution, soon. Loua had her own ideas but there was no chance she’d voice them to him, now. Especially not now.
Loua watches him with a dry throat and starving eyes. It all goes beyond the stir of attraction or even that benign affection. How could a killers’ hands be the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen? How could she be so entirely arrested by a look? How could her heart crack open in her chest now, when it needs to be firmer—sharper than it has ever been?
She‘s never been in love. Is it supposed to ache like this?
“You must know I can sense you staring. You’re confusing Spite.”
It’s the most carefree thing he’s said since their prison break from the Ossuary in his mind. And void, isn’t that a relief? She had a needling worry that they’d have to start over, now that he had a more comfortable respite from Spite’s intervention.
To see him loose and light with rolled up sleeves and a serene look on his face stayed her fears. Quite a few of them, actually.
“You’re such a sap,” Neve had said, in his minds eye. Perhaps she should feel chided. But with the world ending and when moments like this are so fleeting and fractured, balancing on a knifes’ edge? If holding on with both hands makes her a sap, then that is a fine thing to be.
Loua tilts her head and knows she’s not imagining the way his eyes follow hers with an assassins’ focus. Nor that confounding quirk of a smile.
“The way you cook reminds me of my momae.” Oh, she hadn’t meant to say that. That wasn’t very romantic at all. Why did she say that?
But the quirk stretches to a full, attentive beam and the particulars of her fumbling didn’t matter then. “Go on,” he says. She could melt.
“She loved it—having a real kitchen. My mothers grew up largely traveling and settling in the woods. My momae loved to cook. I don’t think she ever got over the joy of having a full kitchen. You just seem—well, I don’t know. Content, maybe? It’s nice.” Loua shrugs, reaching for a casual gesture to release the anxious, cloying weight in her chest. “Seeing you this way, I mean. It’s always nice.” It’s remarkable. I’ve watched you sail with spectral wings across battlegrounds, landing precise and graceful strikes through our enemies hearts with the fervor and care of an artist—but nothing, nothing has ever stolen breath from me the way that watching you methodically chop vegetables with a smile has.
Lucanis sets down the knife. Rests his hands on the countertop as if he were bracing himself. His head tilts now and she follows the movement carefully with her eyes. They stand there, like fools, grinning at each other in the hearth light.
“I would not say content, just yet. We have quite a to-do list, yes? But there is—“ his jaw works as he searches for the words she hangs on. “There is no small relief in feeling at home somewhere. With someone, perhaps.”
The weight; the anxious, vibrating stone in her chest opens like a yawning primrose. Something tender and raw and bruise-violet hangs between them. It’s not tension, it’s reaching. Loua burns for him and she cannot remember a time she wanted so deeply, something to keep.
The world is burning. Now is not the time for this. She sips the coffee he’s made for her. It’s warm in her hands.
“Yes,” she says. Too quiet, too soft. “I know exactly what you mean.”
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call-sign-shark · 2 days ago
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Notes: Lucy belongs to @mischievouslittlecreature. Inspired by Falling in Reverse "Bad Guy".
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When Lord Amos Bolton’s obsidian eyes first fell on the young Targaryen princess, the world around him seemed to come to a halt. As cold as his heart was, cold as the wind of the North, her ethereal beauty and the way she smiled at him, relieved, made his head spin. Long white hair styled in complex intricated braids, hypnotizing blue eyes burning bright, doll face and petite frame, he came to realize that all that fuss about the future Queen’s appearance wasn’t just made-up rumors. She was the most mesmerizing creature he had ever seen. One look. All it took was one look for her to reach his soul and claim it. Cruel and incorruptible Lord Bolton, if he had never allowed himself the weakness of love, found himself momentarily paralyzed by a storm of feelings. It wasn’t just love that washed over him, but possession. An instant dark, all-consuming need took root in his chest, coiling tightly and twisting his every thought. Amos loved her, craved her like the air he breathed, but that darkness within him stained everything he touched and Heavenerys Targaryen wouldn’t be an exception.
She dismounted her gigantic dragon and smiled at him.
His heart skipped so many beats he thought he had an heart attack.
The grand hall of Dreadfort glimmered with hundred of candles, bathing the bleak and grey castle in a warm, welcoming light. As the union of Lord Amos Bolton and Princess Heavenerys Targaryen was announced, the murmurs of gathered Lords and Ladies fell silent except for one sole and discreet grunt that escaped Aerthurys Targaryen’s thin lips. Timidly, the 17 years old princess looked at her future husband and, only one micro second later, Amos’ dark gaze locked with hers, the air shifting around them.
Heavenerys’ heart thudded in her chest like war drums and dragons steps. She didn’t expect him to be like this – devastatingly handsome with his dark hair brushing the collar of his black fur cape, eyes so somber she couldn’t distinguish the pupil from the iris and a smile, as rare as fleeting, that would break the vows of the most pious woman.
“My Queen,” Amos whispered, “And light of my life” he added, bowing slightly and pressing a tender kiss to her hand. The heat of his smooth lips, accompanied by the brush of his beard, lingered on her skin with an intensity she had only experienced in Aerthurys’ bed.
Lady Bolton looked at her son with hope in her chest: maybe that Princess was the cure for Amos’ evil. But among the crowd of guests, one person couldn’t be fooled.
Later that evening, as the festivities continued in the castle, Lady Lucilla Bolton approached the future queen in a quiet corridor, her warm hand gently wrapping around the young dragoness’ wrist. Her soft red curls framed her face, whose frown couldn’t hide her concern.
“Princess, I know I shouldn’t tell you that but…” She quickly glanced around her, her emerald eyes surveying her surrounding in fear of catching sight of her father, uncle or cousin – all men cut from the same tainted and cruel cloth, “Beware my cousin the Lord.” Her voice sounded like a death-knell, “Amos is …”
A savage, she said.
Because far too many times she saw her cousin’s torture ideas, his favorite involving his pack of hungry hounds and poor prisoners. Each time he watched, his eyes shining with excitement at the grotesque murder scene and the agonizing wailings.
Obsessive, she breathed.
Because she remembered how nothing could stop Amos when he wanted something. She remembered how, when he was an uncontrollable teenager, he slaughtered an entire family because the daughter refused his courtship. Lucilla was still young, but she wouldn’t forget how horrified she felt when he stepped inside the castle, covered in blood.
Dramatic, she added.
Because he always found a way to attract the attention and pity to him with his smooth tongue.
A loner Whose social and caring demeanor in society were a mere façade, an attempt to hide his distrust to everyone.
An addict Living for power and control, the darkness he wielded consuming him.
So goddamn problematic, she concluded, her emerald eyes filled with fear. Everything about him was dangerous, and she didn’t want the young Princess to suffer the consequences of it.
Heavenerys smiled, faintly, her heart heavy with unease but her mind moved by Lucilla Bolton’s concern for her, a stranger and her future family at the same time, “Thank you Lucilla. I’ll be careful.”
But the queen’s promise faltered as days turned into weeks. Amos’ devotion was undeniable. His every glance was filled with both longing and love, his touch with utter tenderness. When he spoke about their future together, or when he pressed her head against his strong chest after they made love, she felt the walls she built slowly collapsing.  He had that way to kiss her that was so passionate, so full of lust, that the world seemed to vanish each time, leaving only the two of them. Amos made her feel cherished, understood and safe in way she had never known.
Lucy’s warnings, while still in the back of her mind, lost in seriousness. Amos Bolton’s flaws were merely scars from a life of pain and betrayal; she told herself. And she would heal those scars, she was sure of that. In her deep love and affection, Heavenerys failed to realize that Amos had her wrapped around his finger and that he would never let her go.
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The air in Amos’ private chamber was suffocating. The young Queen’s absence was a wound he felt in every breath, a hollow ache that he could not ignore. A ache that was driving him crazy. After what he called a “fair retribution to cheating”, his cousin Lucy and her mother snatched Heavenerys from him. Admittedly, he knew his control had slipped in a way more horrid than he had expected, but it was his love and obsession that had driven him to hurt her. No, it was her. It was her and how she maimed his heart that had led to this situation. Before he could sink further into his torment and thoughts, the door of his bedroom flew open.
Lucy stormed in, her beautiful face pale with rage, “Amos!” she shrieked, her voice so sharp he almost felt it cutting his skin.
The King’s dark eyes snapped to her, narrowing in irritation, “May I ask what my young and nosey little cousin is doing here, screaming at me like a harpy?”
“You hurt her!” She screamed, her voice trembling with fury and her fists banging at his chest with all the hatred her little body could hold, “You’re a monster! She trusted you. She loved you! And you—how could you?!”
Amos’ hands shot out, iron-like fingers curling around Lucy’s wrists to make her stop. His grip was firm, unyielding, “Enough” He growled, his voice low and dangerous.
"How could you do that to her…” She repeated, but her eyes were wide open with utter terror.
He rose slowly, his towering figure casting a long shadow over the short redhead beauty. "Lower your voice," he warned coldly. But if Lucy was afraid, her rage roared stronger than anything else, “No!” With unexpected strength she drew from the maelstrom of fury that burnt bright in her chest, she managed to break free from his grip and, within the span of two seconds, her hand flew out to slap him across the face. The impact of her palm against his cheek echoed in the room, “You are –”
“What am I, little red demon?” Amos didn’t flinch at the blow. Quite the contrary, his lips curled into a bitter smile as he looked at her again, “Oh come on, Lucy, I’ve heard them all from you.” He retorted, his tone laced with mocking venom. Leaning close, his voice dropped into caustic sarcasm and a tinge of threat,” Amos! You’re a savage, you’re obsessive, dramatic! So goddamn problematic!”
Lucy’s breathing hitched as he took a step closer, his dark amusement turning into something colder and his smirk fading from his handsome face, “She fucked her cousin.”
“Nothing will justify what you did to her,” Little Lady Bolton spat, “She truly loves you and you, you broke her. Body and soul.”
For a moment, Lucy saw Amos’ face faltered, his eyes flickering with something she couldn’t read. Then, he shook his head, “She will understand that it was necessary and then, she will come back to me.”  He might have sounded confident, but the weight of Lucy’s words pressed on him like a stone, blended with the image of Heavenerys tear-streaked face.
Lucy’s voice was a quiet tremor now, filled with both anger and despair because she knew he was right about the last statement, “I won’t let her.”
“Really?” He raised a brow, “Then I fear my beloved uncle and all the Kingdom have to know about the moon tea you guzzle each morning when that bastard Prince Thomaryon comes visit… And we wouldn’t want that, would we?”
Lucy’s breath caught in her throat, her face turning one shade paler as her cousin’s threat hung in the air. Her wide eyes, green like the most luxuriant forest of Westeros,  flickered with shock, then fear.  His words sunk into her like a blade. The mention of Thomaryon—of what she had fought to keep hidden—left her paralyzed, her composure crumbling under the force of his cruel smirk.
He knew.
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six-white-venus · 3 days ago
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i've been staring at a blank page for months now, searching for the right words. the ones that used to flow out of the tip of my pen with a gasping cry of 'finally, finally' are nowhere to be found. the thing is, right, poets cannot thrive in mediocrity. cannot bloom, cannot scream all things beautiful without a laugh or a sob stuck in their throat. no one wants normal, you see. because normal is everywhere. but beauty? beauty is found in the reckless and jarring and the glittering night sky. but you can only write about the blue sky for so long before you get sick of it. can only bleed in paper till your wound closes, can only laugh till your breath runs out. and just like all things do, those moments end. that's what makes them worth of poetry- their fleeting, dream-like nature.
no one wants to read poetry about the days you waste scrolling through your phone or the assignment that you got a B- in. the thing is, right, just existing isn't worth of poetry. there is no way for a poet to thrive in a life of mediocrity and i'm afraid that's exactly where i find myself.
it makes me sad sometimes. i find myself missing the taste of copper in my mouth and the angry purple of the bruises on my knees. i hold my worn-out plush in my hand and wonder where it went- the joy it once used to bring me. my favorite t-shirt no longer fits me. i fold it up clumsily and think: have i outgrown greatness too?
but most of the time, it doesn't bother me. because you never really stop being beautiful despite what you might think. maybe you don't write as well as you used to. maybe reading your works no longer makes people overcome with an emotion that feels larger than life itself. and i've come to find that that's not so bad. not everything has to be booming and bright or miserable and black. you might not be great but your smile, candlelight soft and tired, is real. your wounds no longer make you feel like you're dying but your joints do ache terribly during thunderstorms.
the thing is, right, you will always be a poet. maybe not one that everyone adores or understands, but a poet nonetheless. what's beautiful to you might not be worth a second glance to me. what makes your day might be nothing worth remembering to a stranger. just because something that means the world to you means nothing to someone else doesn't make it meaningless.
keep a hand on your chest. feel your heart beat, steady, steady.
thump. thump. thump.
being beautiful is not what makes you alive.
thump. thump. thump.
you breathe, and therefore you are.
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jambamthepaperman · 2 months ago
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Agatha and Rio are sooooo 🥰🥰
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