#“music for children” i feel like they're making fun of haters and i FUCKING LOVE IT

[jaarijani]

i would like to listen to muzika za decu while speeding on the highway but then i run the risk of absolutely crashing the hell out of my car

[aberfaeth]

cleo @chasedeys made one of these and im procrastinating various responsibilities and tasks so i said why not! long-winded rationale below the cut and i mean LONNGGGGGG. full of haterisms but also love <3

ONE PRIDE

my babies my sweeties my cinnamon applessss the whole reason i got genuinely into football in like 2022 was bc i watched them nearly not eat shit against the bills on thanksgiving while my uncle sitting next to me explained the Fucking Curse i.e. that the lions will always lose in whatever way is most devastating to the people who care about their success. and i went HEY! NARRATIVE!!! and now the lions are REALLY GOOD and still managing to lose in the way most devastating to the people who care about their success. as i've said many a time i truly hope some enterprising individual exhumes and exorcises the bones of bobby layne i think that's the only way out but in all earnestness getting INTO into football these past few months i am so grateful these are our guys even through all the emotional turmoil. they've got an energy in the locker room i genuinely haven't seen replicated anywhere else in the league like those guys all adore each other unreservedly and they adore dan and it's so special to watch. LONGASS PLAYER RANT INCOMING amon-ra st brown my princess with so many mental problems one of these days i'm gonna make a webweave about how he has all sixteen wide receivers drafted before him and their colleges memorized and also how his dad gave him and his brothers the "st" because he thought it would look good on a jersey and had him lifting weights age 5 like. john brown you seem like a wonderful father i just think your children might have complexes. JAH AND MONTY SONIC AND KNUCKLES MY TWO HEADED MONSTER they're everything to me the way it's just purely admiration and support between them even though splitting touches is probably not the best for their careers like they just genuinely loved each other from the jump. i get emo thinking about all the shit they've each been through and to be able to come to the lions at the same time and just. find each other and feel safe enough in detroit to let themselves loose and have fun RAUGH. jg16 im the worlds number one jared goff glazer idgaf i will sing his praises from the mountaintop. im not like delusional i know he isn't in the same conversation as lamar/josh/joe/That Devil but i think the idea that the lions need a dual threat qb is so ridiculous like yeah we certainly are lacking offensive weapons here with our #2 ranked yards per game THE POINT is that a qb is more than just stats and jared goff is a leader of men like that offensive line would all take ten bullets for him and it's because he is a genuinely kind person and so so so easy to love. god. um. TA TERRION ARNOLD MY OTHER PRINCESS WITH NO MENTAL PROBLEMS AT ALL FRANKLY seeing him excited and smiley after the divisional loss bc why would you not be excited going 15-2 as a rookie hitting an insane amount of snaps most of your player core young and still on contract the world is laid out in front of you!!!!! cured my depression and i can't wait to see him continue to come into his own GOD the secondary is all so fond of each other thinking about him and kerby That's My Rook I Don't Let Nobody Play By My Rook..him and bb....him and dmo jah and craig in the who would you let date your daughter youtube short SHAKING MY FIST AT THE SKY sam laporta!!!!!!!!!!! my golden receiver king of the one handed dive catch im obsessed with his vernacular like only guy alive to use "sick" and "preposterous" in the same sentence how are you from illinois and have half a surfer accent JAMOOOOOO in possession of the best laugh in the known universe and such a goddamn weirdo like the mcflurry burger thing and his apparently Eclectic music taste let me see your spotify downloads please HUTCH!!! absolutely vicious ice cold hilarious but also so levelheaded did you guys know he listens to instrumentals to hype himself up before games like. he gave hans zimmer as an example. so many more tooooo i didnt even mention lif or penei or craig or any of the kicking unit or our free agents like tim and cd3 IM JUST. man. the detroit lions. Man

deep and enduring fondness

bengals every day i think about the post that's like. joe wearing ja'marr's old worn natty jersey to a bengals game day, the greatest love story of all time is happening in the graveyard of fandoms if this was hockey there would be skywriting about it. BECAUSE IT'S REAL joemarr genuinely baffle me with the level of insane devotion they have to each other like just off the top of my head. ja'marr saying joe's like a god to him. "i've never [played without ja'marr]had that, and i don't wanna have that" "[i work] with joe only. i don't throw with other quarterbacks--i don't wanna". joe burrow #1 in the league pat who. the fucking pinky swear handshake the donut thing "we did a lot of stuff but not on a boat"???? "he try flying knee kicks on me sometime" "we mess around every now and then" "make sure your bags are packed and ready i didn't believe it but he proved me wrong" the clothes saga ANYWAYS. TEEEEEE HIGGINSSSSSSS another guy who like. i read his players tribune article and god he has been through so much and to come out so KIND he is a little piece of the sun in a human body the reaction timer video with ja’marr cheering him on in the bg “forget batman he’s fucking superman” and joe and ja’marr obviously love him so much would sign him themselves “wanna play with him for eternity” if the bengals FO lets him go i fear i will never forgive them. & i know there are other players on this team and i care for them also (mike! 23rookies! trey! ctb!) butjesus christ joeteemarr the world…. vikings closest rival to lions in pure strength of culture i think like god that video of everyone lifting sam onto their shoulders !!! :') cam and his dance recitals.... josh metellus king of the locker room interview....justin jefferson and his beautiful big brown eyes like a cow every time i saw him on the sideline of that rams game i had to put my face in my hands and be so sad for him. and KOC!!! like i said with dan its so so special when you can tell a team just fucking adoooooores their coach and it's so clear with KOC that he really is a player's coach OH AND ALSO IK HE'S INJURED BUT JJ MCCARTHY MICHIGAN BOY he's gonna carry next year i just know it ravens so my aunt lives in baltimore and owns a purple car that she bought because that's how much she loves the ravens. i lived in bmore for 4 years so they're one of my hometown teams too!! obviously lamar jackson is the people's princess and there's nothing more in the universe i want than for him to succeed like he is so goddamned talented and he's such a sweetheart and i really need to try his cologne IT WAS SO CUTE WHEN THEY PASSED IT AROUND THE LOCKER ROOM AND EVERYONE WAS COMPLIMENTING IT LIKEE anyways "kick everybody ass hit everybody hit the r--i was about to say hit the ref DO NOT HIT THE REFS" his lil giggles when he gets tackled i CARE ABOUT HIMMMMMM OKAYYYYYY also london @glittersgloom and cleo have opened my eyes to the beautiful world of derrick henry and i need to find like. clips of him micd or something hey if anyone is reading this can you send me derrick henry content thank you panthers BRYCE YOUNGGGGGG MY SHAYLAAAAA he has had such a whirlwind two years and im so goddamn proud of him (context my parents live in NC so the panthers are also a hometown team LMFAO i get too damn attached to Locations) that one clip of robert hunt saying dont call him BY Reap cause he said it sounded a lil evil leave that baby alone...... his room just so clearly adores him as they SHOULD !!! chuba adam and xavier too I REALLY BELIEVE IN THE PANTHERS SWEEPING THE NFC SOUTH NEXT YEAR I DO

i like em

cowboys so when i was in middle school in new jersey and everyone around me was a giants fan but i had quirky girl disorder i decided i was going to be Cool and Different and root for the dallas cowboys because my dad had dez bryant on his fantasy team and so i do have a lingering fondness for them even though tony romo's stupid voice pisses me off every sunday. and CEEDEEEEEE CEEDEE LAMB most beautiful man in the world i wish all happiness and success for him bills, texans started making that your graduation stosh edit last week had a panic attack bon appetit no but for real the Narrative. absolutely agonizing. i love when men say insane things about each other like "Since I met him, it kinda clicked. You don't click with everybody. That's somebody I felt like, damn, I could grow old with you. I can see myself with you for a while" and then GET DIVORCED #SAD anyways. i love you cj stroud i love you dion dawkins giants, commanders MALIK NABERS WE WILL GET YOU OUT OF NEW YORK !!!!!! in all seriousness though that clip of jayden picking him up from behind and swinging him around lives rent free in my head and it's london's fault (love you). division rivals and you're cheering for him at his playoff game Mannnnn lsu strikes again. for real though jayden daniels rookie of the decade im enamored by him and his effortless chill demeanor i hope he comes back and wins a ring but like not in the next five years because the lions have to sweep the division for at least half a decade dolphins, pats, jets i've got homies who like these guys!!! shoutout to my roommate's dad and two of my coworkers <3 i like when mike had to get on his tippy toes to kiss the side of tua's head i like that the pats are such a failgirl team without tom brady and i like that the jets are gunning for the longest playoff drought in all of superbowl era nfl history. good luck aaron glenn i'm sure you will have a different go of it than the eight million one and done defensive jets HCs before you (genuine)

neutral zone of obscurity

not much to say here. i like that the bucs had that thing with the duck that was fun. and im tempted to start caring about the jags on account of it would be funny to collect the nfl kitty teams like pokemon. otherwise no thoughts im sorryyyyyy

mild distaste and/or extreme ambivalence

rams i care about matthew stafford i really do. he took such shit for the lions for so goddamn long. on the other hand you get him on a hot mic oneeeeee time saying shit about kerby joseph after a completely clean tackle and now all of a sudden everyone and their mother is an expert on tackling tight ends and the prevailing narrative that he's a dirty player is actually affecting his livelihood (pro bowl noms) and that pisses me off. mr stafford apologize right neow eagles god their fans are the worst in the fucking league. genuinely atrocious and it makes me kinda hate them even though i like jalen (THE POST RAMS INTERVIEW WHERE HES DEF OFF A PERC TALKING IN RHYMING COUPLETS GIGGLING AND SHIT) and aj and honestly ok saquon on the eagles is their main redeeming factor like i would be truly happy for him to win a ring i really would bears division rivals except they aren't as fun as the vikes so they get put down here. caleb williams my pookie we'll get you an oline don't you even worry about it. genuinely though i do love him like it seems like it should be such a nothing thing in the year of our lord 2025 but the fact that dudebros are still insanely homophobic about the nail polish in any given comment section makes me very proud of him for sticking with it. it looks very nice on you caleb. BEN JOHNSON WE ARE NOT ON SPEAKING TERMS (i understand this was the only logical choice for him and we're lucky to have had him this year and he's a brilliant offensive mind and i'm sure he'll do great things but TO OUR OWN DIVISION????? BEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

genuine devilry occurring here

49ers ok i have all the respect in the world for the frock warriors on this website but the 49ers do kind of disgust me as a team writ large like. watching receivers on netflix and you genuinely would not be able to tell deebo and george are on the same team bc they are straight up segregated like cmc's wedding and george's birthday party come straight out of a midsommar outtake and this is not even to mention that awful little freak nick bosa like i do hope he gets cte and it ruins his life and career heart emoji browns fuck deshaun watson im so serious until that team gets rid of him i will be praying and cheering for their downfall every single time chiefs ohh this is last because it's my boring bitch answer like the chiefs are barely fun to hate on anymore cause everyone's doing it but i do believe they have access to some dark devilish magics and i am tired of seeing taylor swift on my goddamn television. sorry women. on a realer note i am still not fond of kareem hunt like im not saying people can't grow and change esp after seven? years but he did assault a teenager on tape and i think you maybe shouldn't be allowed to sign a million dollar contract after doing that OH MY GOD AND HARRISON BUTKER. ANOTHER ABSOLUTE FREAK. FUCK THE CHIEFS SERIOUSLY

green bay

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

i'll be so fucking for real, some of you only hate things because the culture told you to and the reason it told you to is rooted in misogyny

i've never heard a good reason why people hate cats. even people who are like "i'm allergic to cats" are not valid because two of my roommates are allergic and love cats. one of them adopted 4 and just takes meds. the cats do not purposely cause you to have allergies, they do not even know what that is. there is a weird thing in western culture that valorizes dogs as man's best friend then makes fun of the "crazy cat lady". and that betrays the root, doesn't it? it's because in the middle ages westerners chose to associate cats with femininity and deviant religious practices so it just seeped into the culture. even if you're an enlightened feminist who would never consciously dislike something just because it's associated with women, you've been inundated with the prevailing narrative that there is something sneaky and weird about cats and that it's cool (and often masculine) to talk about wanting to kick them.

this extends to media too. no one has ever given me a good reason for not liking musicals. they're not a uniform genre, they're a broad umbrella. i don't enjoy most of the classic musicals because the music or plot don't typically appeal to me (sorry i think jonathan larson was a bad songwriter) but i have a handful of musicals that i am really passionate about because the themes and the music all scratch that specific itch for me. so fine, you don't like sound of music. not all musicals are stylized like that. try chicago (a jazz based musical about women murdering people). try moulin rouge (over the top campy jukebox musical). try sweeney todd (a horror movie based on a penny dreadful). or if your speed is horror comedy with a touch of rock music, there's always rocky horror (this is only recommended if you have a knowledge of older scifi/horror films and aren't easily squicked out by things that don't align with modern sensibilities). or les mis (political drama, but this one is very musically dense if you're on the fence). i could go on and on. admittedly i mostly like horror musicals like the devil's carnival, repo the genetic opera, phantom of the opera (and all the examples given above) but i mean come on guys the beatles and green day have their own musicals.

what i don't get about people who don't like musicals isn't just that they don't seem to get that there are different genres within the genre, but that they generally don't have problems with music videos. they just claim that breaking into song "breaks their immersion" because it's "not realistic". okay so do you also nitpick when an action star survives a fall from a helicopter? how about superman shooting lazers from his eyes? if musicals doing things that wouldn't happen irl breaks your immersion but none of these other things do then that's curious. (but if they do then you must be a ton of fun at parties.) the purpose of breaking into songs in musicals is to communicate a feeling. it doesn't have to be realistic to communicate that feeling.

but what i've noticed as a former theatre kid and theatre major drop out is that a lot of people who claim not to like musicals have done since they were children. theatre kids get bullied because liking musical theatre is gay, right? so it's a masculinity thing. heaven forbid troy likes basketball AND musicals! these people often aren't exposed to good musicals as a child and build up this idea that they just don't like them and come up with justifications that don't fly.

anyway. some of you need to realize that some of these things you don't like are not because you have a real reason, it's because it is baked into our culture to deride things associated in any way with femininity. and your lives would be richer if you gave new experiences a chance instead of being a hater.

[alizjay]

Easter Feelings

Next Sunday is Easter...the worst day of the year. I'm reminded of the beliefs that I used to hold so dear. It was the day that always magnified the evidence of deceit because instead of just plain worship, they all go above and beyond to welcome and greet all the potential new members that appear through their doors. The music has to be just right so they'll feel that longing in their souls. 

Of all the days to be authentic and real and full of love, you would think that Easter Sunday would be but instead they just enjoy feeling like they're above all the poor desperate people all searching for meaning but all they receive is advice about cleaning if they decide to visit again the next Sunday, “Oh honey we really don't love you if you can't donate money.” 

As a child, my brothers and I were the only kids that were forced to show up…for the sunrise Easter service that we shared with the other church in town…whose pastor’s kids were not forced to attend because he had a “worldly wife” who didn't force her kids to drown in the muck and mire of churchy strife. Unlike my mother, she had a career and her children had bad attitudes and started drinking beer when they became teenagers so this guy's wife was a failure cause she got a divorce and escaped all the haters. My mom would just bash her although she secretly envied her. She had the guts to get away from the preacher's wife life. 

But back to the point about hearing the resurrection story after the good Friday service just a couple days before. Or the Candlelight service every christmas eve full of brainwashed people who are tricked into belief… cause when u raise your kid in church, they really don't have any choice but to accept what they've been told because that's all they ever know. And they are told that anything outside of this tight circle is from hell and they must spank their sinful children so god can “wash them white as snow.” 

2020 was the worst, but at the same time was the best…my first Easter Sunday that I didn't have to stress about a new dress. We just watched a service on Facebook live from the comfort of the sofa wearing jammies and drinking coffee without pasting smiles on our faces…my kids felt free and I felt relaxed and my husband could doze off without me fearing a verbal attack of harsh judgment and stupid peer pressure to dress my children to the nines…for once, no expectations for them to act like robots and perfectly mind…no one telling them that they're evil and to ignore their hearts’ desire, no one making them have anxiety about some future lake of fire. No more flashbacks from my childhood of being forced to wear a dress. I felt so gross feeling my legs touch together. I wish I could just be free to look like a mess. 

But that was then and this is now, who would've thought that perfect-acting preachers daughter would grow up to break her vow, that she made at age eleven to avoid the terrors of her dad…I thought it was a fear of hell but really I was just tired of my daddy always being mad…mad at me for not understanding math and for forgetting everything that I was asked to do, like a permission slip for a stupid field trip or my shoes and clothes for PE, for not studying my spelling words and for spacing out in class and bringing home a report card with a D…in science cause I hated the teacher. He was really fucking mean. He made my best friend feel stupid and told dumb blonde jokes and made fun of us girls who were grossed out when dissecting. But really a part of my aversion to him was probably the mustache that could've used a good trim. It looked just like daddy's mustache from back when I was five during the worst of his abuse, when I spaced out to survive. 

So Hoppy Easter, fellow heathens. What shall we do on Sunday? We are sleeping in, making homemade pizza, and avoiding social media all day…I don't want to see any “He is risen” memes or pictures of children cuddling live baby lambs. I'm not afraid of going to hell or eternal damnation, but please please please PLEASE don't you dare tell my dad!!!