#“may i have just one screenwriter sir?”

[claudia1829things]

"VANITY FAIR" (2018) Review

“VANITY FAIR” (2018) Review

When I had first heard that the ITV channel and Amazon Studios had plans to adapt William Makepeace Thackeray’s 1848 novel, “Vanity Fair”, I must admit that I felt no interest in watching the miniseries. After all, I had already seen four other adaptations, including the BBC’s 1987 production. And I regard the latter as the best version of Thackeray’s novel I had ever seen.

In the end, my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to watch the seven-part miniseries. In a nutshell, "VANITY FAIR" followed the experiences of Rebecca "Becky" Sharp, the social climbing daughter of an English not-so-successful painter and a French dancer in late Georgian England during and after the Napoleonic Wars. The production also told the story of Becky's school friend and daughter of a wealthy merchant, Amelia Sedley. The story begins with both young women leaving Miss Pinkerton’s Academy for Young Ladies. Becky managed to procure a position as governess to Sir Pitt Crawley, a slightly crude yet friendly baronet. Before leaving for her new position, Becky visits Amelia's family. She tries to seduce Jos Sedley, Amelia's wealthy brother and East India Company civil servant. Unfortunately George Osborne, a friend of Jos and son of another wealthy merchant, puts a stop to the budding romance.

While working for the Crawleys, Becky meets and falls in love with Sir Pitt’s younger son, Captain Rawdon Crawley. When Sir Pitt proposes marriage to Becky, she shocks the family with news of her secret marriage to Rawdon. The couple becomes ostracized and ends up living in London on Rawdon’s military pay and gambling winnings. They also become reacquainted with Amelia Sedley, who has her own problems. When her father loses his fortune, George's own father insists that he dump Amelia and marry a Jamaican heiress. George refuses to do so and thanks to his friend William Dobbin's urging, marries Amelia. Mr. Osborne ends up disinheriting George. However, the romantic lives of Becky and Amelia take a backseat when history overtakes them and their husbands with the return of Napoleon Bonaparte.

I wish I could say that the 2018 miniseries was the best adaptation of Thackery's novel I had seen. But it is not. The production had its . . . flaws. One, I disliked its use of the song "All Along the Watchtower" in each episode's opening credits and other rock and pop tunes during the episodes' closing credits. They felt so out of place in the miniseries' production. Yes, I realize that a growing number of period dramas have doing the same. And quite frankly, I detest it. This scenario barely worked in the 2006 movie, "MARIE ANTOINETTE". Now, this use of pop tunes in period dramas strike me as awkward, ham-fisted, unoriginal and lazy.

I also noticed that producer and screenwriter Gwyneth Hughes threw out the younger Pitt Crawley character (Becky's brother-in-law), kept the Bute Crawley character and transformed him from Becky Sharp's weak and unlikable uncle-in-law into her brother-in-law. Hughes did the same with the Lady Jane Crawley and Martha Crawley characters. She tossed aside the Lady Jane character and transformed Martha from Becky's aunt-in-law to sister-in-law. Frankly, I did not care for this. I just could not see characters like Bute and Martha suddenly become sympathetic guardians for Becky and Rawdon's son in the end. It just did not work for me. I have one last problem with "VANITY FAIR", but I will get to it later.

I may not regard "VANITY FAIR" as the best adaptation of Thackery's novel, I cannot deny that it is first-rate. Gwyneth Hughes and director James Strong did an excellent job of bringing the 1848 novel to life on the television screen. Because this adaptation was conveyed in seven episodes, both Hughes and Strong were given the opportunity retell Thackery's saga without taking too many shortcuts. The miniseries replayed Becky Sharp's experiences with the Sedley family, George Osbourne, and the Crawley family in great detail. I was especially impressed by the miniseries' recount of Becky and Amelia's experiences during the Waterloo campaign - which is the story's true high point, as far as I am concerned. Also, this adaptation had conveyed George's experiences during Waterloo with more detail than any other adaptation I have seen.

Aside from the Waterloo sequence, there were other scenes that greatly impressed me. I really enjoyed those scenes that featured the famous Duchess of Richmond's ball in the fourth episode, "In Which Becky Joins Her Regiment"; Becky's attempts to woo Jos Sedley in the first episode, "Miss Sharp In The Presence Of The Enemy"; the revelation of Becky's marriage to Rawdon Crawley in "A Quarrel About An Heiress"; and her revelation to Amelia about the truth regarding George in the final episode, "Endings and Beginnings". There were people who were put off that the series did not end exactly how the novel did - namely the death of Jos, with whom Becky had hooked up in the end. I have to be honest . . . that did not bother me. However, I was amused that Becky's last line in the miniseries seemed to hint that Jos' death might be a possibility in the near future.

The production values for "VANITY FAIR" struck me as quite beautiful. I thought Anna Pritchard's production designs did an excellent job in re-creating both London, the English countryside, Belgium, Germany, India and West Africa between the Regency era and the early 1830s. Not only did I find the miniseries' production values beautiful, but also Ed Rutherford's cinematography. His images struck me as not only beautiful, but sharp and colorful. I would not say that Lucinda Wright and Suzie Harman's costume designs blew my mind. But I cannot deny that I found them rather attractive and serviceable for the narrative's setting.

One of the production's real virtues proved to be a very talented cast. "VANITY FAIR" featured some solid performances from it supporting players. Well . . . I would say more than solid. I found the performances of Robert Pugh, Peter Wight, Suranne Jones, Claire Skinner, Mathew Baynton, Sian Clifford, Monica Dolan, and Elizabeth Berrington to be more than solid. In fact, I would say they gave excellent performances. But they were not alone.

Michael Palin, whom I have not seen in a movie or television production in years, gave an amusing narration in each episode as the story's author William Makepeace Thackeray. Ellie Kendrick gave a very poignant performance as Jane Osborne, who seemed to be caught between her loyalty to her bitter father and her long-suffering sister-in-law. Simon Beale Russell gave a superb, yet ambiguous portrayal of the warm and indulgent John Sedley, who also had a habit of infantilizing his family. Frances de la Tour was deliciously hilarious and entertaining as Becky Sharp's aunt-in-law and benefactress Lady Matilda Crawley. I could also say the same about Martin Clunes, who gave a very funny performance as the crude, yet lively Sir Pitt Crawley. One last funny performance came from David Fynn, who gave an excellent portrayal of the vain, yet clumsy civil servant, Jos Sedley. Anthony Head gave a skillful performance as the cynical and debauched Lord Styne. I thought Charlie Rowe was superb as the self-involved and arrogant George Osborne. Rowe, whom I recalled as a child actor, practically oozed charm, arrogance and a false sense of superiority in his performance as the shallow George.

I have only seen Johnny Flynn in two roles - including the role of William Dobbin in this production. After seeing "VANITY FAIR", it seemed that the William Dobbin role seemed tailored fit for him. He gave an excellent performance as the stalwart Army officer who endured years of unrequited love toward Amelia Sedley. Tom Bateman was equally excellent as the charming, yet slightly dense Rawdon Crawley. At first, I thought Bateman would portray Rawdon as this dashing, yet self-confident Army officer. But thanks to his performance, the actor gradually revealed that underneath all that glamour and dash was a man who was not as intelligent as he originally seemed to be. Amelia Sedley has never been a favorite character of mine. Her intense worship of the shallow George has always struck me as irritating. Thanks to Claudia Jessie's excellent performance, I not only saw Amelia as irritating as usual, but also sympathetic for once.

Television critics had lavished a great deal of praise upon Olivia Cooke as the sharp-witted and manipulative Becky Sharp. In fact, many have labeled her performance as one of the best versions of that character. And honestly? I have to agree. Cooke was more than superb . . . she was triumphant as the cynical governess who used her charms and wit in an attempt to climb the social ladder of late Georgian Britain. I would not claim that Cooke was the best on-screen Becky I have seen, but she was certainly one of the better ones. I have only one minor complaint - I found her portrayal of Becky as a poor parent to her only son rather strident. Becky has always struck me as a cold mother to Rawdon Junior. But instead of cold, Cooke's Becky seemed to scream in anger every time she was near the boy. I found this heavy-handed and I suspect the real perpetrator behind this was either screenwriter Gwyneth Hughes or director James Strong.

I have a few complaints about "VANITY FAIR". I will not deny it. But I also cannot deny that despite its few flaws, I thought it was an excellent adaptation of William Makepeace Thackeray's novel. Actually, I believe it is one of the better adaptations. "VANITY FAIR" is also one of the best period dramas I have seen from British television in a LONG TIME. And I mean a long time. Most period dramas I have seen in the past decade were either mediocre or somewhere between mediocre and excellent. "VANITY FAIR" is one of the first that has led me to really take notice in years. And I have to credit Gwyneth Hughes' writing, James Strong's direction and especially the superb performances from a first-rate cast led by Olivia Cooke. It would be nice to see more period dramas of this quality in the near future.

[glimvinty]

Somebody in the tags mentioned the notorious unadaptability of the Discworld books, which this quote is a pretty good testament to. You just can't do things like this in film. Pratchett uses the medium to its potential and it shows, which makes me really happy, because it's proof that there are certain things you just can't do *without* books. However, I would absolutely love to see these books in film, and what's currently out there feels like it's from a completely different franchise. None of what I'm saying is new, of course, but I think that there is definitely a way to come close to Pratchett's writing in movies that directors and screenwriters actually have managed before, although technically Neil Gaiman may have had the bigger hand in it. But my answer is...a narrator!!! In the first season of Good Omens the narrator was EXCEPTIONALLY well written, and cited some great passages from the book directly without it feeling weird. They sometimes used visual accompaniments for God's narration too, like during the poker analogy to describe "God's plan," that I feel brought the show to life in the spirit of the writing because it WAS the writing, just with audio and visuals! Sir Pratchett's footnotes are also a big part (although not the whole) in making his world and writing tick, and having a narrator could execute these delightful little drifts away from the main setting perfectly. A lot of these footnotes were centered around world-building and random anecdotes from around the Disc, so I think that having almost a---dare I say it---Wes Anderson-style deadpan and tableaus when it comes to assimilating the footnotes into the film could...well...it's a million to one chance, but it just might work.

This badly cropped Terry Pratchett quote I found is here for anyone who wants it

[dollycas]

Special Guest Lorie Lewis Ham - Author of One of You (Tower District Mysteries) #GuestPost / #Giveaway @lorielewishamauthor - Great Escapes Book Tour

One of You (Tower District Mysteries) by Lorie Lewis Ham I am happy to welcome Lorie Lewis Ham to Escape With Dollycas today! Entertainment Matters By Lorie Lewis Ham One of the things I enjoy about writing my books is sharing through my main characters some of the things I love. In all of my books, even the series before this one, I have shared my love of Frank Sinatra, Sherlock Holmes, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Star Trek—which are all fandoms that have been very important to me. With my Tower District Mystery series, I have been able to expand on that to include some newer interests such as manga, anime, and Supernatural. Roxi has also mentioned several superheroes (especially the Flash and Superman), and the show Gossip Girl—which was the inspiration for the Tower Gossip website in my series. I know there are some people who may think it is silly to call things like TV important—but I don’t agree. I made a new friend recently who had watched very little TV growing up so I had to explain to him why TV was so important to me—Roxi shares these feelings as well. I had a hard time making friends when I was a kid—I was quiet, I was different, and I dealt with social anxiety. I also went through some trauma and abuse as a teenager (not from my family) that I struggled to deal with. But TV was my constant companion—my friend. It not only kept me company, but it inspired me, lifted me up, made me think, made me cry, and encouraged me. And it still continues to do so. Star Trek has always been a source of hope for the future. Buffy the Vampire Slayer gave me courage through some difficult times, even Sherlock Holmes showed me that it was okay to be different. And I am not sure if I would have become a mystery writer without Murder She Wrote—she inspired me to keep going and not give up. It was such a thrill to me when I got to know one of the screenwriters from the show Tom Sawyer and he even sent me a signed script. TV and books also provided a needed escape—I can’t imagine my life without either of them. I think they also made me a better storyteller. Some may be surprised to know that entertainment has always helped people find hope, inspiration, and escape. During World War II, Fred Astaire and Bing Crosby, among others, provided a much-needed escape through their light and happy musicals. During the lockdown and earlier parts of the pandemic, entertainment kept the whole world going by providing escape, hope, and joy. Performers went above and beyond by doing free virtual events of all kinds to help us through this and book sales went through the roof. Even Sir Patrick Stewart read Shakespeare on social media. Some of the new entertainment I discovered in the last few years that I have put in my latest book, One of You, are manga and anime. I knew they existed and had seen some Studio Ghibli movies, but that was about it. But early on in the pandemic, my oldest child introduced me to some amazing anime shows, and that in turn encouraged me to give manga another try. There is some amazing storytelling in anime and manga and much of the artwork is stunning. Some of my finds that fit well in the mystery genre include Moriarty the Patriot (a retelling of the Holmes story from Moriarty’s perspective), Spy Family (this one is just darling), Death Note, and Oshi no Ko (both combine mystery with the supernatural). One of You takes place during a mystery event at Halloween with several mystery authors as guests and one of them happens to be a manga author who has just gotten a contract to turn her books into anime. We have also begun reviewing manga in my online magazine Kings River Life this year. Another passion of mine that I brought into this new series, is my love of King Arthur. The sense of honor that the knights have appeals to Roxi. She comes from a Mafia family, although her parents were never directly involved as far as she knows, and she likens the sense of honor the Mafia at least used to have, to that in the King Arthur stories. She also has a replica of Excalibur and knows how to use it. The world of Camelot brings Roxi comfort as well. It was her father who introduced her to that world when he took her to see the musical Camelot and gave her a copy of The Once and Future King. Her parents died in a car crash when she was a teenager and these things help her feel close to her father. Whenever I wonder if I am doing anything in this world that truly matters, I remind myself of how important entertainment in all forms is. If my books can make someone smile, laugh, think, or cry—or give them a fun escape to a world different from theirs, that is the best feeling in the world and perhaps helps pay it forward a bit for all that entertainment has given for me. Thank you Lorie for visiting today! ______ Keep reading for more info about Lorie and her new book. About One of You One of You (Tower District Mysteries) Mystery 2nd in Series Setting - The Tower District of Fresno, CA Publisher ‏ : ‎ Mystery Rat's Books (June 4, 2024) Paperback ‏ : ‎ 278 pages ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8325667381 Digital ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0D46P6JBJ With her life on the California Coast behind her, Roxi Carlucci is beginning to feel at home in the Tower District—the cultural oasis of Fresno, CA—where she now lives with her cousin P.I. Stephen Carlucci, her pet rat Merlin, a Pit Bull named Watson, and a black cat named Dan. She has a new entertainment podcast, works as a part-time P.I., and is helping local bookstore owner Clark Halliwell put on the first-ever Tower Halloween Mysteryfest! The brutal summer heat is gone and has been replaced by the dense tule fog—perfect for Halloween! She just wishes everyone would stop calling her the “Jessica Fletcher” of the Tower District simply because she found a dead body when she first arrived. But when one of the Mysteryfest authors is found dead, she fears she jinxed herself! The Carlucci’s are hired to find the killer before they strike again. Will Mysteryfest turn into a murder fest? How is the local gossip website back, and what does it know about the death of Roxi’s parents? About Lorie Lewis Ham Lorie Lewis Ham lives in Reedley, California, and has been writing ever since she was a child. Her first song and poem were published when she was 13, and she has gone on to publish many articles, short stories, and poems throughout the years, as well as write for a local newspaper, and publish 7 mystery novels. For the past 14 years, Lorie has been the editor-in-chief and publisher of Kings River Life Magazine, and she produces Mysteryrat’s Maze Podcast, where you can hear an excerpt of her book One of Us, the first in a new series called The Tower District Mysteries. Book 2, One of You, will be out in June of 2024. You can learn more about Lorie and her writing on her website mysteryrat.com and find her on Facebook, and Instagram @krlmagazine & @lorielewishamauthor. Author Links Website   Instagram   Facebook    GoodReads    BookBub Purchase Links - Amazon    Barnes and Noble    Kobo Universal Buy Link https://books2read.com/u/m0eWAy TOUR PARTICIPANTS - Please visit it all the stops.  July 18 – Socrates Book Reviews – SPOTLIGHT July 18 – Sarah Can't Stop Reading Books - REVIEW July 18 – Christy's Cozy Corners – CHARACTER GUEST POST July 19 – MJB Reviewers – SPOTLIGHT July 19 – Lady Hawkeye – SPOTLIGHT July 20 – Boys' Mom Reads! – AUTHOR GUEST POST July 20 – Escape With Dollycas Into A Good Book – AUTHOR GUEST POST July 21 – Maureen's Musings – SPOTLIGHT July 22 – FUONLYKNEW – SPOTLIGHT July 22 – Christa Reads and Writes – REVIEW July 23 – Literary Gold – SPOTLIGHT July 23 – Sapphyria's Book Reviews – SPOTLIGHT July 24 – Celticlady's Reviews – SPOTLIGHT July 25 – Sneaky the Library Cat's Blog – CHARACTER INTERVIEW a Rafflecopter giveaway Have you signed up to be a Tour Host? Click Here to Find Details and Sign Up Today! Want to Book a Tour? Click Here Your Escape Into A Good Book Travel Agent This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase using my links, I will receive a small commission from the sale at no cost to you. Thank you for supporting Escape With Dollycas. Read the full article

[dweemeister]

On Borrowed Time (1939)

As time marches on, certain names that were once synonymous with American drama lose their weight, even among film buffs. In the early twentieth century, the Barrymore siblings – Ethel, John, and Lionel – were celebrated on both Broadway and in Hollywood, each one making a successful transition from the silent era to synchronized sound. The eldest, Lionel, was born in 1878 and was a Hollywood elder statesman when he made 1939’s On Borrowed Time. Directed by Harold S. Bucquet and based on a 1938 play of the same name by Paul Osborn (itself based on a 1937 Lawrence Edward Watkin novel of the same name), On Borrowed Time is a star vehicle for the eldest Barrymore. By the late 1930s, Barrymore had broken his hip twice – never healing properly. As such, he remained wheelchair-bound for the remainder of his life. Physical disablement, even in modern Hollywood, often curtails acting careers. But Barrymore’s home studio, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM), often had their screenwriters find ways to incorporate Barrymore’s disability.

Lionel Barrymore was also in physical pain and depended on cocaine injections to work and sleep. However, this never affected his acting, as he delivers a wonderful lead performance in On Borrowed Time. Those less knowledgeable about this period in Hollywood history will probably only recognize his surname and the acting family he came from. Nowadays, most cinephiles probably only know of Lionel Barrymore through It’s a Wonderful Life (1946; Barrymore played the villainous Mr. Potter). Lionel Barrymore's role as the somewhat foul-mouthed but caring grandfather here offers something completely different.

Mr. Brink (Cedric Hardwicke) is hitchhiking somewhere near a small town in contemporary America. But he is not interested in riding with just anyone:

MAN IN CONVERTIBLE: May I give you a lift, sir? MR. BRINK: Thank you, no. I have an appointment – a lady and gentleman. MAN IN CONVERTIBLE: Oh, I’m sorry. [coughs] I thought you signaled me. MR. BRINK: No. Not yet...

As you may have guessed, Mr. Brink is a personification of death. A few minutes later, he flags down that lady and gentleman and takes their lives in a car accident. That couple are the parents of John “Pud” Northrup (Bobs Watson; best known as Pee Wee in 1938’s Boys Town), who will now live solely under the care of Gramps and Granny (Barrymore and Beulah Bondi) and their housemaid Marcia (Una Merkel). At the memorial service for Pud’s parents, Gramps donates a substantial sum to the church. After learning of Gramps’ generosity, Pud exclaims that his grandfather doing such a good deed should allow him a wish. Gramps’ wish: as a deterrence local children stealing his apples, he wishes that anyone who climbs up his apple tree will be stuck there until he permits them down. Some time later, Mr. Brink arrives at Northrup grandparent homestead for an appointment with Gramps. Gramps tricks Mr. Brink up the apple tree, trapping him there – setting off a series of developments that put Gramps in a moral bind.

In a cast already headlined by character actors, how about some more? On Borrowed Time also features Henry Travers (the guardian angel Clarence in It’s a Wonderful Life) and Nat Pendleton as neighbors, Grant Mitchell as Gramps’ lawyer, James Burke as the sheriff, Charles Waldron as the reverend, and an uncredited Hans Conried (Captain Hook and Mr. Darling in 1953’s Peter Pan) as the man in the convertible.

Elsewhere, away from the camera, one can’t find much of composer Franz Waxman’s (1935’s Bride of Frankenstein, 1951’s A Place in the Sun) string-dominated score anywhere, but this is one of Waxman’s finest scores of his early career.

The opening half-hour of On Borrowed Time are its weakest. Hardwicke’s Mr. Brink has an eerily charismatic first impression that the scenes immediately following it cannot hope to match. Instead of learning more about the nature of Mr. Brink, the film instead shows us some of Pud’s misadventures and his relationship with his grandparents. Strangely, the loss of his parents seems to have had little effect on Pud at all, although his sadness seems to emerge in his contentious relationships with the other local boys and Aunt Demetria (Eily Malyon). Aunt Demetria, shortly after the Northrup parents’ deaths, hatches a scheme to assume guardianship of Pud and attain access to his considerable inheritance. Her designs are so obvious to all that when Gramps and Pud start calling her a “pismire” (literally, a pissing ant), Granny looks the other way when she might otherwise correct their boorish behavior. All of this takes longer to develop than it should (it does not help that Bobs Watson’s performance as Pud feels disjointed, but more on that shortly), even if the opening act primarily serves to show us how close Pud is to his grandparents. Even though we sense where the dramatic stakes are headed, On Borrowed Time almost seems to splinter into another film before we see Mr. Brink again.

In addition, contemporary reviews of On Borrowed Time lambasted screenwriters Alice D.G. Miller (1929’s The Bridge of San Luis Rey) and Frank O’Neill (no other film credits) for sanitizing the language from the original stage play due to the demands of the Hays Code (the self-censorship code that applied to major Hollywood studios from 1934-1968, repealed in favor of the current MPA ratings system). For the record, the text of the stage play was not freely available as I was writing this piece, so I have no means of comparison. Paul Osborn’s On Borrowed Time has only appeared on Broadway thrice: the 1938 original production and short-lived revivals in 1953 and 1991. The play had also been adapted for radio and television.

Compared to those film reviewers during the film’s 1939 release and many modern writers, I tend to be more forgiving if the Hays Code-enforced changes to a film do not significantly alter the spirit of the text. Sure, it would be funnier to hear disparaging language stronger than “pismire” in a 1939 film, but Pud’s and Gramps’ feelings towards Aunt Demetria, the apple-stealing boys, and Mr. Brink are comprehensible in this movie.

The closing two acts of On Borrowed Time draw its strengths from the performances and the narrative’s adoption of fairy tale logic (any film beginning with death flagging down folks he has an “appointment” with is almost always operating under the terms of the fantasy genre). In tandem, Lionel Barrymore and Bobs Watson’s good-humored and loving rapport lift the film above its structural flaws. Barrymore’s Gramps – an American Civil War and Spanish-American War veteran* – is a classic small town curmudgeon, only allowing his bitter exterior to crumble when Granny and Pud are around. Looking to protect Pud from Aunt Demetria, Gramps remains defiant towards the wills of Mr. Brink and the insistent neighbors. Perhaps it is not the greatest Lionel Barrymore performance, but he is always effective.

Bobs Watson, as Pud, is inconsistent anytime he does not share the scene with Barrymore. The explanation for his performance comes from Watson himself: “My dad was the one that really directed me, and I think some of the directors resented it a little bit… I trusted my dad implicitly, so I read the dialogue the way he told me.” His father’s influence results in occasionally overcooked line readings against director Harold S. Bucquet’s vision (MGM’s Dr. Kildare series, 1943’s The Adventures of Tartu), more theatrical than what the scene calls for. But when the scene calls for crying, by golly can Watson (who had a reputation for crying on cue) deliver. And his scenes with Barrymore are beautifully acted, convincingly showing the audience the love between grandson and grandfather.

Sir Cedric Hardwicke, a noted Shakespearean actor, cuts no corners as Mr. Brink. Mr. Brink is aware that, in time, he will keep all his appointments. Hardwicke plays Brink as slightly menacing, always dignified (no one expects that perfect an English accent in rural America), and somewhat aloof to what he probably thinks are childish trivialities and life’s mundane moments. He is the antagonist, but in no way is he the villain of this movie. That belongs to Eily Malyon as Aunt Demetria, a character some compare to Margaret Hamilton’s Mrs. Gulch/Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz (1939; released a little more than a month after On Borrowed Time) due to her temperament and unbending nature. One wishes the film made more use of the always-underappreciated Beulah Bondi as Granny (Bondi very often played elderly mothers and grandmothers, almost always appearing much older than she actually was), too.

Death and loss are two themes currently popular in modern cinema (see: a vast bulk of Pixar’s filmography, 2016’s Manchester by the Sea, 2019’s The Farewell, and a large selection of pieces from any film festival worldwide), but in the early decades of talkies in Hollywood, you would be hard-pressed to find films in which those themes were truly central, not secondary, to the narrative. And when those themes do appear, they appear in the context of fantasy films, like Death Takes a Holiday (1934) and On Borrowed Time. Anecdotally, I suspect the scarcity of major Hollywood movies revolving around death and loss is partly due to the realities of the 1930s and 1940s. Audiences, concerned with a worldwide Great Depression and soon a Second World War, did not seek films ruminating about death and loss and sought escapist fare instead. There was enough despair to go around.

The film that emerges on the back of these performances is thanks to its ability not to concentrate on the fantastical situation the Gramps and Pud find themselves in, but to raise the moral questions that Mr. Brink’s presence – and eventual entrapment – poses. Mr. Brink’s time in the tree results in consequences that Gramps and Pud could not imagine. Gramps’ decision to delay his death for the love of his grandson is concurrently noble and selfish. It is noble in respect to wanting the best for Pud, so that he may live life away from his aunt’s icy attitude and pernicious designs regarding her nephew’s inheritance. But it is selfish in that, as Gramps learns, that Brink’s inability to make any appointments unless he comes down from the apple tree means that almost no living being can die (for spoiler reasons, I am not listing the exceptions here) – even the ones in physical pain. How is Gramps supposed to navigate this situation, in addition to the communal and legal pressures from his neighbors and the police?

A resolution comes abruptly, in a way that devastates Gramps (but would probably make the Brothers Grimm nod in appreciation). On Borrowed Time’s bittersweet ending is deserved, and – as long as the viewer accepts the film’s fantastical premise and rules – will play quite differently for audiences of different ages.

Lionel Barrymore had two daughters with Doris Rankin, his first wife. Barrymore and Rankin lost both daughters in their infancies; neither ever truly recovered from their losses. One wonders what Barrymore thought while making On Borrowed Time, a film that argues for one coming to terms with death, however unfair or untimely its arrival. For a 1939 release (a legendarily glorious year for American cinema), positioning such ideas as the film’s narrative keystone ensures On Borrowed Time a unique spot in the early years of Hollywood’s Golden Age.

My rating: 8/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog. Half-points are always rounded down.

* Gramps describes himself as having fought for the Union. This might make Gramps close to ninety years old, give or take, if we are to believe the film’s self-professed setting!

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

NOTE: This is the 800th full-length Movie Odyssey review I have published on tumblr.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently watching - December

Because I love a good little list 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 30.12.2022, colored = finished

This may contain spoilers!

I am sorry if you can't open the links on mobile!

The director who buys me dinner (6/10 on iQiyi)

I read the webseries and I loved it! So no pressure Korea 😅 But I did enjoy the first two episodes. It is funny and I had some really good laughts! It has an interesting story, if they keep up with the original. I am really looking forward to the next episodes.

Never Let Me Go (3/12 on Youtube)

The tension between the two mains is definitely there and noticeable. I already love the little shimmers of jealousy and the fact that it was love at first sight. I really enjoy their story and the plot around them. Nice show to watch.

Ameiro Paradox (2/8 on Viki and Gaga)

An enemies to lovers story with journalists and cute smiles? Count me in.

A man who defies the world of BL (2/4 on Gaga)

A man who tries to avoid the world of BL, in which he lives, by reading Yaoi mangas to get to know all the tropes he has to avoid in order to not get involved with the world as a main character. It is hilarious and makes fun of not just the viewers, but of the industrie itself. Really good so far.

The New Employee (2/8 on Viki)

I just finished reading the manhwa and I loved it. Now I am curious how it is realized. The first episode was good, just as I expected and Moon Ji Yong is quite an excellent cast for the role of Seung Hyun.

War of Y (10/20 on Gaga)

I finally watched the next chapter...And yeah, I think I can't watch the stories week for week. I need to wait until one chapter is closed and binge the five episodes. This is one of the few bls I watch with a lot of tension in my body and no smile on my lips...I need to calm a bit before I can dive into the next drama...

Between Us (8/12 on Youtube)

I like it, but I am not super hyped about it. I liek their connection and that both are not perfect, but perfect for each other in their own way.

Love Bill (8/10 on Youtube)

A vietnamese drama about a young man falling in love with a screenwriter. Well, of course there are some other things happening in between, but this is the heart of the story. Our boy Nguyễn Bá Vinh is doing a great job! I really enjoy this drama so far.

Till the World ends (9/10 on Youtube)

It is something else. Kind of brutal and gory and a little bit explicit. Not your usual bl. I like it, no wonder 😅 The end of the world is coming and Art and Golf try to survive the last days on this chaotic planet, to get to the safety of the last bunker which lets people in, chased by some lunatics with a special taste in meat...and with ep 8 we finally got the long-awaited kiss and damn they delivered!

My School President (4/10 on Youtube)

Set in highschool we meet Tinn (the school president) and Gun (head of the music club). Tinn has a huge crush on Gun and Gun sees in Tinn the enemy who is standing between the success of his music club and the win of the Hot Wave Music Contest. The plot is predictable, but sometimes you just need a good old high school bl without the deep drama. I enjoyed this series so much. And the music is so good!!!

HIStory 5: Love in the future (1/20 on Viki)

Hm. This was kind of meh. I hope it is to early to judge and it will get better! Right now the story is a little bit...confusing. I hope for a little bit explaination or at least some help from the magical figure.

To Sir, with love (2/17 on Youtube)

Okay, it is finished by now and I looked up for spoilers. I didn’t have the emotional strength to watch it til now. But I will give it a try soon, because the first two episodes were really good!

Remember Me (12/14 on Gaga)

Okay what happend? I am emotional invested in this story! Why did it become so good within two episodes? I love the domesticity and the wholesomeness of the third episode so much! It touched me and moved me and now I am looking forward to the next episode! And the next episode was good too. I love Em and Name! Don’t hurt them, especially Name! JUST STOP HURTING NAME!!! This hurts so bad!

2 Moons: The Ambassador (10/12 on Youtube)

It is just bad.

I will knock you (1/12 on Youtube)

So Thi steps on the Lotus of Noey which is symbolic for his heart and now Noey wants his heart back so he can give it to the girl he has a crush on and Thi can't find it and gives him in exchange a charm for fortune, but in reality it is for love and soulmates...And Noey happens to be the leader of a gang which members wear khaki-shorts or way too colorful dresses for a street gang...the cringe radar is very strong with this one, but it is hilarious!

Something in my room (3/10 on Youtube)

I saw people talking about this one and how good it is. Well, it is quite okay. I guess it will get a little bit deeper with more episodes, but I haven’t had the time to watch more.

Finished in December

Series

Choco Milk Shake (11/11 on Youtube) - perfect recommandation score

Well, I love this one with my whole heart. On the one side it is light and comforting and the acting is on point and on the other hand it deals with grief and what happiness can be. The biggest message would be to love with your whole heart and live life to the fullest. Carpe Diem if you will call it that. You don't know how much time you might have left in the end, so cherish every second with what brings you joy and makes you happy. Choko and Milk made me really happy. The story was unusual and it is not explained why they could come back again just as they wish, but to be true, I don't care. I want them all to be happy! 10 out of 10 choco milk shakes

Happy Ending Outside The Fence (Happy Ending Romance) (on Gaga) - highest recommandation

This one was so good. The pasting was nice. The story itself is very complex. In the end Junghyun was the right person for Jungwoo when he needed to hide, to suffer and to feel the pain. But Jungwoo doesn't want to be this fragile, this hurt forever. He wants to go outside and live and that is when he meets Taeyoung. A literal ray of sunshine and he is exactly what Jungwoo needs to see the beauty in life again and to finally believe in himself again and lets face it, to say fuck you to all the haters and just don't give a fuck about what other people will think. The story and the complex relationships moved me deeply. It is a very mature story and so are the relationships built. Nothing is easy, but stagnation is no help in the end. 9,5 out of 10 manuscripts

Eien No Kino (8/8 on Gaga) - highly recommended

The aesthetics of this one is so beautiful. The story itself about a young love that is so strong that the one who dies can't leave this world because and comes back as a living corpse is both, unique and tragically beautiful. It broke my heart, especially the talk between Mitsuru and his father. The ending didn't wreck me the way I feared it would, because it was overall a great ending for their situation. 9 out of 10 loves at first sight

His - Koisuru Tsumori Nante Nakatta (5/5 on Viki) - highly recommended

Oh this was beautiful. The amount of thought that was put into this piece of media is amazing. I liked the dialogues and the dealing with coming out and the difficulties for lgbtq+ people in Japan and first loves and so much more in five fucking episodes. I wish there were more! Really good! 9 out of 10 surfboards

My Tooth Your Love (on Viki) - recommended without a doubt

I guess this could be called a nightmare for people with a fear for dentists. It is a slow burn, but when the fire was lit it was burning with a cozy and constant heat. I like Bai Langs and Jin Xun Ans story. And I must admit the last few minutes killed my cold heart with all the fluff and domesticity. As for Alex and RJ I wish we could have had a real reveal of their emotions. But it was a cozy last episode. 8,5 out of 10 plushies

Oh! My Assistant (8/8 on Viki) - totally recommended

This was funny and fluffy and cringy and lovely and I am in love with it! I don't know what it is exactly, but it brings me so much joy and a really good laugh! Even the fall-on-you-by-accident is just funny and predictable. The bi-awakening of the main is so simple and rational and I love this series for it. 8,5 out of 10 sexy drawings

Nitiman (10/10 on Youtube) - yeah sure, why not recommending

I read a review which said nothing happend in this series...and they were correct. The conflicts most of the times results in misscommunication or not communicating at all. What it is about? Well, college boy A likes college boy B and hits on him. They become friends and college boy B falls for college boy A. Some jealousy and some weird get-togethers of their friends to make a plan to get those two together. And college boy A and college boy B become secret boyfriends before going official. And you know what? I like it! It is just the right show to watch on a cold sunday afternoon to warm your heart. 8 out of 10 dumb reasons to get jealous

Ai Long Nhai (12/12 on Youtube) - recommended only if you want to laugh and love a slow death

Ai likes Nhai. Nhai likes Ai. They test a possible relationship. It works, they have a relationship and nothing more happens, okay yes, after knowing each other for like ten minutes, Ai asks Nhai in the last five minutes if he wants to marry him...Why? Just why? And I know, I said nothing happens in Nitiman, too, BUT! Nitiman has a decend acting, kind of likable characters and charisma, but this mess? I dont know...The story is flat and bland, the acting is not good in my opinion and I can't see the chemistry between the main couple for most of the times. The subtitles were one thing that made this whole experience funny. 4 out of 10 yellow ducks

Short films

Summerdaze Christmas together - recommended

This was a cute one. And a special chistmas episode? It is in my nature to love it. But it is really very cute and cozy. 8 out of 10 cozyness

Summerdaze (youtube) - recommended

It is so short! nd there is no dialogue. And yet the short film managed to tell a story. I am amazed. It is more of a trailer for a bigger project and we got a christmas special this year, which is so cute. Just have a look. 8 out of 10 good story telling

Movies

Sematic Error: The Movie (on Viki) - highest possible grade of recommandation

Well I rewatched the series a few days ago and now just watched this three hour long movie. There were only a few new scence, but I don't care. Every minute spent watching it was worth my time! I just love Semantic Error 💗 10 out of 10 gorgeous red outfits

rec (on Gaga) - recommended for the different type of view

Well, don't judge a book by its cover. I have to admit, that I needed to start this one for a second try. At first I was deterred by the way it was shot. The shaky cam and the amateur like filming was difficult to get used to. But I got used to it. I started to dislike Song Young Jun. He was a little bit too loud and too annoying. And I really thought, that they would break up, because his partner was annoyed by him. But they loved each other, dearly. And this movie can break your heart. It is deep and political and sad and yes, the nudity was part of this whole scheme of two people being vulnerable with each other, but not honest. It hurts. This movie hurts. 7,5 out of 10 beach scenes

What I’m looking forward to in December:

Oh! My Assistant (Dec 1)

My School President (Dec 2)

The Third Solar Term (Dec 5)

Lockdown (Dec 7)

Midnight Tod (Dec 12)

Never Let Me Go (Dec 13)

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner (Dec 15)

Ameiro Paradox (Dec 16)

The New Employee (Dec 21)

HIStory5: Love in the Future (Dec 28)

Sin (Dec 28)

[kassylin]

Some more info on the launch of cdrama Judge Dee. Original title will be "Da Tang Di Gong An" and there’s going to be 120 episodes *dies* They will somehow divide it in 10 parts. Omg. Omg, please. Just...

There is already an old cdrama called "Detective Di Renjie" starring Liang Guanhua, but the article says: it can be seen that the producer wants to make "Digong Di Gong An" an explosion comparable to "Detective Di Renjie". In "Digong Di Gong An", Judge Dee is no longer the fat man with a big belly, but a handsome, thin and sturdy figure over 30 years old. This is a good match for Zhou Yiwei.

*nods in agreement* Yes. Handsome. Precious vase. Yes. Please continue lol

And then, they just put that picture in there:

Alright. Yes, now we understand why anyone would think to make it no less than 120 episodes *cackles* Just an average judge doing his things. Totally understandable. Can we have the same pyjamas, please? Forgive me T_T

22 screenwriters are starting their work. It is said, that not only the cast is superb and luxurious, but those who will adapt the books are also crazy good, so this series is highly expected. 

Also: "Da Tang Di Gong An" is produced by Er Zero One Lu Film and Television Media Co., Ltd. The name of this company may not be familiar to everyone, but its works must be familiar to everyone, such as "Emergency Doctor", "Good Life",  "Youth School", "Installation", etc. are all from the company.”

I have no idea what those movies are, so if anyone knows, please share with me, guys)

The drama is planned to be released in 2022. 

Wtf. Wtf... 120 episodes of introverted detective with ridiculous hat, solving cases with his buddies and an old servant who took care of judge since he was a child (I don’t deserve you, Alfred. No, you don’t, sir (c) Forgive me.) Is this even happening for real? He deserved it 100 times over. It has to be amazing, because there’s no one else like Zhou Yi Wei. You go, babe. Show them what you can *cries*

For the amazing article all thanks goes to the sweetest, amazing @utterlyhooked​

[grislyglow]

Alias Grace: Netflix’s Best Miniseries Yet?

By Prachi Bhatia

Over the years Netflix has given us a number of brilliant shows and movies that we know, love and cherish but Alias Grace, however, still stands out. Directed by Canadian filmmaker and screenwriter, Mary Harron, Alias Grace is an adaption of a 1996 Margaret Atwood novel of the same name and is based on true events. It was released in 2017, alongside Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu which is another Atwood adaptation and the reason why it did not receive the recognition it should’ve when it was initially released.

Set in 19th century Canada, Alias Grace tells us the story of Grace Marks (Sarah Gadon), an Irish woman convicted of the murder of her employer and his housekeeper in 1843. James McDermott (Kerr Logan) who worked at Kinnear’s as a stablehand is believed to be the one who did the “dirty work” and is hanged, Grace, however, is imprisoned for life and seemed to have made quite a reputation for herself. She’s a celebrated murderess since 16 years of age. Throughout the six episode run time we never truly know if Grace is guilty or not, we’re left at the hands of Doctor Simon Jordan (Edward Holcroft) to figure out who exactly is Grace Marks and what led her to the Kingston penitentiary.

Being an Atwood adaptation, Alias Grace is also easily a commentary on the patriarchy at that time, how men controlled every aspect of a woman’s life and were convinced they owned them till they no longer could. Mary Whitney’s (Rebecca Liddiard) aspect clearly showcases just how limited options women had back then and the way there was no respect for them if they were no longer considered pious. A lot of unmarried pregnant women who weren’t offered any support were forced into prostitution or just simply tried to get rid of the child through unethical means, risking their lives in the process.

Grace being constantly pursued by every man she interacts with is also an important part to this. Even Dr. Jordan who seems like a respectful and well behaved man, finds himself completely awestruck by Grace and occasionally daydreams about her. Women being mildly polite was always seen as some sort of “sign” as if they’re asking to be pursued, which was awful but also the ugly truth back then and even today at times. A woman’s politeness is interpreted as some sort of romantic gesture when it’s just human but when they’re truly being human and displaying their more intense emotions—anger or hurt, they’re deemed insane or out of their minds.

Alias Grace is a beautifully written and directed masterpiece by women for women with a lot of excerpts from the book that leaves you astonished for hours on end. “For they make the bed the most noticeable thing in a room. And then I have thought, it’s for a warning. Because you may think a bed is a peaceful thing, Sir, and to you it may mean rest and comfort and a good night’s sleep. But it isn’t so for everyone; and there are many dangerous things that may take place in a bed. It is where we are born, and that is our first peril in life; and it is where the women give birth, which is often their last. And it is where the act takes place between men and women that I will not mention to you, Sir, but I suppose you know what it is; and some call it love, and others despair, or else merely an indignity which they must suffer through. And finally beds are what we sleep in, and where we dream, and often where we die.” is one such excerpt.

[jiminrings]

could you maybe do something where it’s yoongi in rich boy!jimin’s au and he meets his y/n or a peak into how their relationship would work ? i love you 🥺💚

contact: you

pairing: yoongi x y/n

glimpse: the water’s cold but yoongi makes it warmer; or that piece in which model!yoongi meets his y/n!!

wordcount: 4k

notes: i love you too!!! :D

also, this yoongi comes from insufferable, that rich boy!jimin au!! in this fic we’re all just gonna pretend that yoongi’s PA goes by another name and not y/n :)) yoongi’s y/n is not jimin’s y/n!! pls don’t be confused that’s all hehe // gif isn’t mine!!

there’s a fine line in between compliments and insults

hENCE backhanded compliments

but in a way it’s still a compliment, right???

would it still be a backhanded compliment if you give it to yourself though,,,,, that’s the question

tHREE YEARS IN FILM SCHOOL

you just can’t seem to know whether graduating a year early than intended from film school is a cOMPLIMENT OR AN INSULT

is it an achievement or is it a curse??

ok initially, you were proud from graduating a year early because that meant one less year dedicating yoursef to studies, right???

big wrong :D

that meant you choosing the most cramped schedule with more units than you think is humanely possible

you just cAN’T help wanting to go on with life faster and easier!!! you went with this track anyway so you could become closer to the diRECTOR you’ve always wanted to be

it’s a pretty simple analogy

and u don’t get why people who took the same course as you did, didn’t think as the same way as you do

because like for example

there’s two options to go to your destination

hmmm let’s say it’s to go to the park!!! a rEALLY famous and beautiful park and if you aren’t early enough, then there’d be no place for you to lay a blanket out and properly enjoy it

the first route is a nicely-paved, nicely-leveled and cemented road, but it’s gonna take about twenty minutes because there’s traffic

oR

the second route is a much shorter trip that would take only ten minutes, but the road may be a lil rocky and not all postlamps are lit and there mAY be a crossing chicken or not

of course you’d go for the second route :D

and now you know why much more people wanted to go with the first route aHA

no disrespect to your alma mater or something but that shit sUCKED

sURE they had decent dorms and it was your decision to take the more hectic schedule that meant much less time for you to do basically anything that’s outside of your film degree

it was having instant noodles atleast four out of the seven days in a week and sometimes even skipping that processed goodie because it always felt like you’d have to be hustling

hustling is a very icky word in ur humble opinion but you like saying that now ironically in your quarter-life crisis

it was the “why would i wait to cook this for ten minutes wHEN i could be doing something else more productive iNSTEAD of eating aka delecting food that helps give what i need to atleast enact my motor functions???” thinking

which is unhealthy ok

beyond unhealthy lmao that’s what you’re sure of

and then you graduated film school!!!

the opportunities you were promised of when you were still studying?? aha zero :D

the idea that once you graduate film school and you iMMEDIATELY have the job of whatever you majored such as directing or screenwriting and etc.,,,,, that is a whole load of bull-

:D

it’s a hierarchy

you’ve graduated with LATIN HONORS and u persevered for three years with your major in directing and u wore a really nice dress for your ceremony :))))

and now you’re fetching coffee and making twenty calls in a half hour and running around to set things up :)))))

an intern :)))))

the only ones who immediately become what they’ve studied for has sOME sort of tie and pull to the industry

you may have made a thesis film that’s ranked the highest in the history of all thesis films in your university :)) and you may have had submitted it to film competitions and got approved and got some plaques :)))

but no that doesn’t mean a sINGLE bit once you’re out in the real world

you’re just taking whatever you get

i mean you dID want to work your way up in the film industry

like as in the movie industry??? the one you went to film school for?????

but what you are doing now :)) is working as an intern for this huge company that handles tv commercials and adverts and shoots :))

aHA not exactly the film industry but atleast it’s still within the media industry, right??

right???

pls say right

anyways

the agenda for today is this watch shoot!!

there’s a tv commercial to be produced out of it and there would also be multiple shoots for the models who’d be here

you dressed up extra good today :D

it wouldn’t matter but atleast it’s the thought that counts somehow

your company’s official lanyard kinda sucks and you can’t change the lace for it nO matter what but it’s no pressure!! your outfit’s gonna make up for it

there’s not exactly a dress code for interns,, it just goes for the terms as long as:

a) it’s still work-appropriate

b) this is a simultaneously unspoken yet obvious rule bUt you just need some boundaries,,,, you can’t stroll up into the set looking like the executive producer or the director who looks a lil bit fancy

c) you shouldn’t attract attention so much because you’re an intern :)) even if that iS the sole purpose of the intern because otherwise how would you land a more secure and higher-ranking job???? are they thinking or-

it’s a black shirt!!!

groundbreaking

but it’s a nice black shirt with embroidery in the front!!!

it’s just n i c e embroidered in the front and uH right on the middle of your chest area that’s clothed obviously but that’s cool

simple, casual, effortless, tINY bit fun

you also aren’t an intern with black pants

but no this is a nICER pair of pants

they’re like slacks!! like fitted slacks but not too fitted and not too formal

you wanted to wear it in tan but that’s not exactly optimized for your job because you are literally always in the go

it’s always just ease of movement in your clothes

and if you could dash in them in getting coffee or whatever the fuck the production team wants or look for duct tape and print lacking scripts like a madman, then you’re good to go :D

you caved in buying those nurse shoes that are raved about because you’re on your feet almost 24/7 and slip-on vans would not always save ur life

ur always wearing ankle support socks too because you’d rather look like an athlete misplaced in a commercial shoot rather than crying at home with how sore your body and most eSPECIALLY your legs are

that can’t stop you either

so now,,, you’re wearing cute socks on top of the support

it’s barely noticeable but it’s the effort you put in ok

and to be extra presentable, you traded your digital watch for the day with your watch that looks a little bit more classy with the silver!!!

it’s an analog watch with a really nice and shiny silver watch strap and although normally ur mind takes tWO seconds to buffer and read it as opposed to instantly knowing the exact time with a digital one, it’s worth it :D

it better be

you can get atleast one glance from park jimin and your life would be forever fulfilled

you signed a non-disclosure agreement once it was presented because after all

wHO WOULDN’T GUSH WHEN THEY KNEW THE LINE-UP FOR THIS SHOOT????

park jimin!!!

kim taehyung!!!

jung hoseok!!!

that’s the only three you knew so far

because they said that you’d know the other ones who are participating for the shoot once it actually happens

and that could mean two things

either you don’t know them at all oR they’d be really really famous and this ensures that you wouldn’t breach the nda you signed

hmmmm jimin’s kinda cute you’re not gonna lie :))

you can’t laze around in the job though because your walkie-talkie’s already bearing your name again and you’re being summoned now

this may be a blessing in disguise tho

you’re one of the interns who get called and noticed frequently and although that means mORE WORK, that also means you’re more trusted and more likely to secure the job you’re aspiring for!!!

“Y/N. There’s some extra copies of the shoot schedule by one of the makeup tables. Bring it over to me in the brief room.”

“of course!!! :D”

that’s one of your favorite producers specifically calling for you in the radio

he also talks very formally

you’ve always been a little bit close to mr. hyun bin because you were a bit of the teacher’s pet back in uni!!! he served as a professor while also being a producer and HE’S the reason you got accepted immediately as an intern here anyway!!

they’re always in the blue folders and that’s what you’re looking for very eagerly right now

because uHHHH there seems to be about a hundred makeup tables right now and mr. hyun didn’t exactly specify where

ok now where could that be

okay no it’s not on the table

lmao you find them sitting by a chair in front of the makeup table and you need to get it before someone sITS and dents the folder because mr. hyun gets a bit cranky when the folder isn’t smooth

“But the folder’s job is to keep the documents inside it smooth. If the folder’s damaged, then that also means that the contents inside it, is also damaged to a degree.”

no he said that

he literally said that once

if you could read thoughts in the air then mr. hyun probably speaks in proper punctuation AND capitalization

you found the schedule

and you also found this guy dressed in a really nice suit who looks very breathtaking

.... and is frustrated?

NOW HE LOOKS VERY FAMILIAR!!! you just can’t remember the name right now

he must be a talent because no one else is wearing the same suit that he is and his visuals are just beyond gorgeous so that must be it

he’s hunched on his makeup chair alone???

and there’s something on his hand and he keeps dipping his finger to his cupped hand and keeps squinting to the mirror in front of him and

oh

OH

“do you need help, sir?”

yoongi almost jumps out from his chair because oh my god are you-

oh huh.,., you’re not his personal assistant

you see

contact lens would be the absolute BANE of yoongi’s whole existence

he just can’t put it in

he’s said that sO many times to people who find him frustrating over it and whenever they make a “that’s what she said” joke it just makes him want to poke his eyeballs

“no, no. uh it’s okay!! i just can’t aGH shit i just need to learn how to put these cursed contacts in.”

oh he’s cute

like real cute

“name?”

wait wHAT

he’s a bit perplexed because why are you asking for his name

and uh quick question wHY don’t you know his name

not to brag but yoongi,,,, he knows to himself that he’s a world-renowned model!!! he’s done countless shoots!!! he’s appeared in so many things!!!!! why don’t you-

ok he’s being a little bit boastful in his head now

“min yoongi.”

he just states his name and he doesn’t get how would that help with his problem right now

you’ve asked because you’re searching for his name by the schedule and you’re just absent-mindedly muttering his name as you search for it

“min yoongi min yoongi min yOU OH!!! oh!!!! min yoongi!!!!!”

lmao alright that’s it

you remember him immediately and it clicks with you that oh my god this is min yoongi!!!!

that’s the reaction he was initially looking for but it’s okay he’s just gonna be humble about it

“okay well first of all, it says here that you’re about to be called in nine minutes from now so hOW about i just give you a hand, hmm??”

that is not exactly a request

because even before yoongi could like half-heartedly agree (he wants to do it so badly but he can’t) and thank you, you’re already pulling his palm towards yours

“the solution’s drying out,,, how long have you been trying to get it in?”

he hears you ask him in a teasing voice and he kinda frowns at that because well NOW he’s too embarrassed to answer :((

you’re wordlessly grabbing the solution that’s on his desk before you squirt some on your curved palm and plucking out the lens that used to be on his palm

“you have to clean it first.”

“mhmm....,., yes.,.,.., i know that.”

a little bit

jUST a little bit

“you clean it first in these motions, see?? don’t rub it clockwise or anything like that”

ooh so that’s how it goes

he doesn’t want to be rude but he thinks that you’re not the director of this shoot

and there’s nothing bad about that!!!! he just wouldn’t know how to feel if the director were to see him frustrated over contact lens and they’d be the one to do it for him

“pick it up like a bowl!! make sure that the ends of it turn iNWARDS, okay?? inwards!!! if the ends poke out then it would literally hurt so much and maybe you’d be blind”

oh

YOONGI DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT UNTIL NOW

so that’s where he went wrong for like five times,,,,,

“never put it in dry, okay? otherwise it would hurt too.”

that’s it yoongi’s taking this girl’s words down

he doesn’t know wHO you are but he appreciates you

“now tilt your head down a little bit for me :))”

yoongi bows his head and it kinda makes you snort because he was serious with that one

“nO NO just a little bit, mr. min.”

you have your thumb on his chin just to get it to the right position

he will d-word right now oh my god is he a dummy

how could you pOSSIBLY put the contacts on him if his head was hung that low

in any angle though, he looks so nice

he has long eyelashes too and they’re pointing downwards so that may add on to his problem

“now look up”

whew oh god you need to avert your eyes a little bit because you’re just realizing now that this is mIN YOONGI you’re dealing with right now

“or at me!! yeah that would work too :))”

yoongi’s just killing it with his social cues huh :)))))))))

you’re placing delicately the lens by his sclera and yoongi kinda panics and is at the same excited because this is dEFINITELY HAPPENING

“ok calm dOWN and now move your eye until the contact clings and keep moving it still even if you’ve got it already for like eight seconds!!!”

he did it

well technically yOU DID IT

BUT STILL!!!!!

“oh my god that is the qUICKEST thing ever omg now the other eye!! do the other eye!!! :D”

he’s so giddy over you putting on his contact lens and he doesn’t even know you and you just feel so familiar to him!!

yoongi trusts you with his contact lens and that’s enough trust you’d ever need

“aaaaand we’re done!! :D”

“thank you!! what’s your n-“

alright that is mr. hyun asking for a follow-up in the walkie-talkie by asking where’s the schedules and that means you immediately have to dash to the briefing room :))

yoongi didn’t even catch your name :((

you didn’t even get to say goodbye to him :((

you didn’t get to see yoongi for the rest of the shoot because after you’ve delivered the papers, you were then summoned to take care of the catering company that’s gonna do it’s second rounds and to facilitate whatever they needed to do :((((

it’s a bummer though

you dIDN’T even get to see the actual shoot get done because you were too busy verifying the payments if those fish fingers are really priced like that in the receipt you were given :((

you’re probably never gonna see him again

there’s another shoot you’ve been called for again the next week and this time, it was for a luxury brand that’s releasing it’s summer line and the settings for it were a beach AND a swimming pool

they couldn’t have just become satisfied with a beach and had to add on a fancy pool filled with chlorine and then more chlorine for the sets

“Y/N, do you know how to swim?”

mr. hyun asks you so casually as your only task as of now is to stand beside him as he lists things and you check it off in your clipboard

“hmm. i do know how to swim, mr. hyun, but not professionally, y’know?? they don’t exactly teach dives in film school”

he laughs at that and you smile at that because good for you :))

“Good. Because we’re gonna need someone to keep these floaties still, and the lifeguard’s out, and here’s a rashguard.”

what

what in the actual fUCK

you see

although this is for a summer line and a summer shoot

yOU’RE SHOOTING IN JANUARY

and you came into work today not thinking that you’re gonna be in a frEEZING pool wearing a rashguard underneath your shirt to keep these floaties still!!!!

you love your job you love your job you love your job!!!!!

maybe if you say it enough, it’s gonna come true!!!!!

“oH ITS YOU AGAIN!!!”

hold up

that’s

“yoongi????”

“cONTACT GIRL!!!!!”

the both of you are genuinely surprised to see each other ok

at this point, you should automatically assume that yoongi would always be the undisclosed model in your shoots

you’re looking up at him and he’s looking down on you because CLEARLY he is not in the freezing pool as you are

“i’d let you put in my contacts right now, but it doesn’t exactly make a good addition to chlorine :]”

the water’s freezing but yoongi just makes it warmer :))

mr. hyun’s saying the directions to you as to where in the pool you should place yoongi and the floatie’s slippery and you dON’T want to risk getting the clothes wet because it’s not intended.,..,. even if this is a summer shoot

he has a tough crowd (you) and you’re just kinda deadpanning because you now feel you aRE a little bit embarrassed even if this is your job and u shouldn’t be

“i’m kidding!! jus kidding :D”

humor doesn’t exactly click when you’re about waist-deep and aBOUT to be shoulder-deep into freezing cold water

and now since you look a fool, you’re just gonna deal with the slippery floatie and yoongi notices so he’s the one who takes your hand instead as he nudges you to move

:] i was just joking pls don’t hate me :]

you stop the moment mr. hyun says sTOP that’s perfect and before you could awkwardly waddle yourself away from the camera’s view-

“is your face just good and the sunscreen you used is matte, or do you just not have any sunscreen on??”

yoongi asks with much concern as if it’s the most important thing in the world and he doesn’t have a shoot to do

“i don’t have-...”

“no? oh come on, contact girl!! come here for a second!!!”

you look to mr. hyun because Sir is it really and he’s just screaming back with his eyes going gO COME TO MIN YOONGI

you’re confused and before you know it, yoongi’s reaching for you and digging into his pocket and-

“sunscreen stick!! the sun’s always there even if it’s freezing, y’know?”

this time, it’s yoongi tilting your chin up and very delicately swipes the stick on your face and even taps it in

:))

“all done!! let’s start the shoot!!”

he claps up and everybody gets into position and you have to waddle back to your spot awkwardly with your cheeks heating up

you don’t know if it’s yoongi’s power move to swipe his own sunscreen sticks on people but it fEELS LIKE IT IS

he’s very well-aware of what he’s done and he now has every intention to ask you what’s your name after this

although tHAT doesn’t happen again because now mr. hyun’s telling you to come up and get all dried down because after this, he’s gonna need you to ask the front desk if you could access more of their amenities for the sudden changes in the shoot :(((

yoongi almost doesn’t want to leave the set because you’re out again :((( and he still hasn’t had the chance to ask you your name

uGH it’s just so unfair :(((

you feel the same way and you just wanna see him!!! even if he’s only gonna tease you for most of the time and you’re gonna be a blushing mess throughout!!!

you’re cranky ok

you’re more cranky than how mr. hyun gets with dented folders

you’ve had two back-to-back shoots this week and you’ve only had ONE hour of sleep for the whole time

seriously

not to mention that you thought you’d also see yoongi in atleast one of those projects :(( but it was a no-go either

your job is just sO demanding

it starts earlier and ends later than how the printed schedules say and is much more different than the talent’s

speaking of talents, these artists are just pure out LATE and not only are they setting a bad impression on the director!!!!

but they are also the reason for the bane of your existence!!!you call their drivers non-stop to ask for the whereabouts and to adjust the catering’s schedule and the amends that you need to make for people

they make your job harder and your hours longer and your fatigue greater

you actually feel like you’re gonna pASS OUT

mr. hyun’s the one who’s assigning you to these projects and as MUCH as you’re thankful because that means better pay and more exposure and more experience,,, he’s really not seeing the fatigue he’s putting you thru right now

you forgot your ankle support,,,, you have nOT eaten three meals today,,,, you haven’t drank water for hours,,,,, you fEEL like you’re gonna pass out

and someone’s just called you over again to deliver these hair pins to this specific trailer asap and oh god your ankles are just gonna fall off at this point

ok quick knock and you enter and-

“hmm?? oh, it’s okay!! we don’t need it anymore. someone else already brought in new ones :))”

fu-

“cONTACT GIRL!!!!!!”

if you took a moment to read the name that’s by the front of the trailer, you’d know that this is yoongi’s trailer and the makeup artists just went straight to his,, instead of him coming to them because he just can’t be damned to stand and walk over there :D

the makeup artist you were talking to moved out of the way so the both of you could see each other and sO yoongi could also stop stretching his neck out to the max

they’re finishing up anyway

his contact lens case was held by this makeup artist and she was about to put em in and yoongi snatched back the case :))

“here!!! put them on me!!!”

okay that’s a bit awkward for the other girl yikes.,.,. she’s just uh gonna exit the trailer with the other makeup artists now

“hi.”

you only greet back now as you get the case for him and yoongi frowns at that

why aren’t you cheery???? he’s used to you being more enthusiastic than him so wHY is he the one carrying the conversation (that hasn’t been even started) that’s already dwindling out

you’re getting really really sluggish and this sudden heavy wave of sleepiness is really hitting you

you dO look kinda hazy

“are you okay??”

yoongi’s holding you by the sides of your arms and your eyes are blinking so slowly as you try to nod but that just won’t cut it for him

“well i think yOU need to rest”

he’s standing up and is about to put you onto his sofa so you could like perhaps nap a minute or two since he knows fatigue when he sees it

but by the looks of it, he can’t even make you lie down because you’re already sitting down

sitting down

on his lap

oN HIS LAP

this is really.,.,...nice

yoongi’s a bit shocked and there aren’t any sentences forming in his head besides “what’s your name, contact girl???” as if that is the mOST pressing issue right now

“ᶦ’ᵐ ʸ/ⁿ” is what you could only practically mumble because this pillow is really soft and warm and heavenly and u want nothing more at the moment than to be buried in it

yoongi has never felt this soft

ever

there’s you accidentally falling asleep on him

literally ON him

and his hands are still hovering but he decides to relocate them on your back, rubbing small circles and even patting softly

your hair smells really good too

he must’ve been to engrossed in it as you burst awake some minutes later and you almost bump his jaw on your way up

“oh my gOD did i just pass out on your lap???”

well you’re still sat on his lap and you’re scrambling away while you’re still groggy and he has to reach for you before you could topple over

“no problem!! it’s cool i sWEAR!!!”

he quickly explains what’s happened and how he’s close with hyun bin and how he literally conversed for like two seconds and your producer immediately agreed

yoongi just said “hEY mr. hyun!!! y/n works for you, right?? i’m SO sorry if this isn’t in my position to ask but y’know she did just kinda pass out and i was wondering if she could just lay down in my trailer for awhile??”

within two minutes mr. hyun apparently went to the trailer and delivered your backpack and he keeps in mind to apologize to you later on and hmmmmm is there anything going on between you and yoongi???

“are there any pillows?”

underneath the cushion the both of you are sitting at, there is a shit tON of pillows he just keeps there

there’s memory foam!! cotton!! feather!! a hybird of those two!!!

yoongi decides to answer and he delivers it with the straightest answer possible

“... no.”

he quickly clears his throat as he looks to his lap and taps on it so you could lie down on him!!

you think you like yoongi :)))

yoongi is positive that he likes you :)))

you stand up for a moment and he panics because nO where are you going??? but it was just for you to retrieve your phone and grab your earphones!!

you kind of have an irrational fear of buying airpods and that shit just falling every two seconds and then you could nEVER find it

and so here you are :)) offering yoongi an earphone as you lay your head on his lap

there’s just something so familiar with the melody

the lyrics

the vOICE

so familiar to the point that yoongi’s heart practically drops because oh god

tHAT’S HIM

THAT’S HIM IN HIS OTHER JOB THAT ONLY HE KNOWS ABOUT

“this suga guy.,, i like him.”

“o-oH???”

yoongi doesn’t know whether he should feel jealous because you like this suga guy

but he doesn’t know shit because he IS that suga guy!!!

and so his mind’s fuzzy and all-conflicted as you babble on, about to be lulled to sleep again

“once i get to make a film, like an actual full-length film and jUST not a thesis film,,,, i’m hiring him,,,, i don’t care if he consumes like 80% of my budget for that film iM HIRING HIM!!!”

yoongi’s about to practically combust right now

he’s grinning from ear-to-ear, looking down on you who he’s grown fond of so much so fast and is lying down on his lap, his thumb pressing down on your cheek softly as he tilts his head

“do you wanna know a secret?”

[oneistoxnetwork]

5 Reasons You Need to Upskill to be a Better Designer (Be Future Ready)

With the multidisciplinary field that design is, no amount of skills are too many. It is now an established practice to gain knowledge by taking up online design courses or doing individual research. To define this phenomenon, the term ‘Upskilling’ has been frequently used in recent times, but what exactly is it?

 To put it simply, Upskilling is getting better at what you do. It is upgrading your knowledge (both theoretical and practical) of the subjects that may be directly or indirectly related to the field you’re working in.

 Let’s look back at the past!

The design field is diversifying and merging indistinguishably with other fields, demanding more multi-talented professionals. Looking back at history, the greatest of designers were popular in their times and even now for being skilled in numerous fields and contributing to society at large. Leonardo Da Vinci, one of the most multi-talented people to walk on earth, was a skilful artist, mathematician, sculptor, architect, scientist, and astronomer. His works turned to be an inspiration for the later generation of polymaths, rivalled only by Michelangelo, his contemporary. These figures gave rise to the term ‘Renaissance Men’, with the ideal that said “a man can do all things if he will.” 

Even apart from design, there have been several such personnel with an eagerness to be everything at once. Aristotle, the famous Greek Philosopher, was a brilliant writer. His works covered subjects like poetry, music, theatre, rhetoric, politics, ethics and even biology. He was also the teacher of Alexander the Great, who, as we all know, was one of the biggest conquerors of all times.

 Issac Newton is not a foreign name to anyone in the field of science. Celebrated for his contributions to physics (theory of gravity and laws of motions), this English scientist was also an astronomer, alchemist, philosopher and theologian. His works laid the foundation for the progress of later generations of scientists, particularly Sir Stephen Hawking.

What’s happening now?

 Increasing technology and resources have brought about specialisations in various fields of study. With specialists coming up in every sector, the number of all-rounders have been gradually decreasing.

 But we know that history has always admired and valued multi-skilled people. Despite the revolutions taking place, traces of this admiration can still be seen, especially in the field of Film-making and Design. Actors are no longer expected to just act and film-makers are no longer expected to just direct. The best of the rest are those who are not only great at their primary skills but also good at other 21st century skills required in the field. A good example from the modern-day is FarhanAkhtar, an Indian actor, film-maker, producer, playback singer, screenwriter and television host. He is celebrated by the Indian audience for having proved his versatility time and again.

Similarly, design practices that do not adhere to just one type of product are more popular than the rest as they have a wider clientele and user base and strive for continuous experimentation and upgrade. With a complex network of professionals worldwide, multipotentiality is appreciated.

 Thus, the need for all-rounders and design upskilling is emerging again.

 [Read: The Assets of Success: 13 Golden Skills in Design to Master]

 Multipotentiality

 Now, what exactly does it mean to have multipotentiality?

It is the trait of a person

having interests in two or more fields of study

and curiosity to learn and excel at them. Such people are called ‘multipotentialites’ which is the opposite of

‘specialists’ and is used interchangeably with ‘polymaths’. They are required in almost every field; science, art, technology, medicine, business, commerce, etc.

 Multipotentialites are valued for their fast learning skills and adaptability. Organisations are always keen to acquire individuals who can bring dynamism, novelty, enthusiasm and variety to work-places. Such professionals are also favoured to undertake leadership roles as they are better at empathising and understanding a broader set of situations, people and their perspectives.

 It is great to be a specialist, but even better to be good at many other skills along with one. It is time to be the Jack of all trades AND master of one! 

The changing times demand multi-faceted individuals to bring in innovative design solutions. Gradually, the need for regular upskilling comes up, whether through online design courses or through experiential learning.

 Here are 5 reasons designers needs to upskill themselves:

 1.      To Fill the Skill Gap

As fellow designers, most of us can collectively agree that there is still a huge gap between our design education system and the practice. The system lacks the capacity to make students industry-ready, leaving them with little to no practical knowledge.

In the current scenario, students opting fordesign upskilling are constantly at an advantage compared to the rest, be it academically or professionally.

  A lot of independent platforms have emerged that have recognised this gap and aim to fill it by offering learning to interested individuals, especially in the field of architecture with

1.      To Have a Better Career and Job Prospects

 It is no mystery that design establishments tend to hire aspirants with a broader range of skills. It is good to master one skill, but is it good enough?

  With the increasing competition in the design field, there is more demand for

professionals who are adept at handling a variety of tasks

. For example, someone who is great at 3D modelling should also be able to manage an entire project if needed. The design industry has become experimental and welcomes multi-talented people with open arms. InitiativesWith the increasing competition in the design field, there is more demand for professionals who are adept at handling a variety of tasks. For example, someone who is great at 3D modelling should also be able to manage an entire project if needed. The design industry has become experimental and welcomes multi-talented people with open arms. Initiatives are being taken across the globe to recruit individuals who can perform multiple tasks instead of hiring someone just to perform one task. Naturally, such versatile individuals bring more to the organisation while making more for themselves. 1.      To Progress in the Field A broader skill-set gets you better job opportunities, but what happens once you are into the field? Design Upskilling doesn’t stop once you’ve earned a job. You need to keep honing your skills and adding to the existing ones for your professional development. In the design industry, multi-skilled professionals are more likely to be given positions of responsibility and develop trust. Moreover, individuals with a zeal to constantly enhance their skills, adding more value to the team, progress faster than others in their career trajectory. Hence, adding more to your design skill plate will give you an upper hand at any point in your career. If you are a working professional, now is the time to upskill, rise and shine!

(Source: www.giphy.com)https://giphy.com/gifs/l1Kua6X2X3t9bSlNK/html5[Alt Text: GIF of a cartoon show, spongebobsquarepants, with the words “I’m ready”] 2.      To Stay Relevant to the Changing Times Modern problems require modern solutions. It is obvious that one cannot run a design practice efficiently with obsolete techniques. Things that were considered awesome in the yesteryears may be completely outdated now. To align with the demands of the current world it is necessary to update,upskill and improve.  Globalisation and digitisation have paved the way for several new domains in the field of design. From UI-UX design to Urban Planning, the good designers always have a fair idea of the advances happening in the field. Even clients are now getting more familiar with design as a profession and its importance, with a wide range of resources to facilitate awareness. Being on par with the rapidly altering world and understanding the contemporary necessities will give designers the kind of expertise needed to meet the requirements of today’s user base. Change is the only constant! 

(Source: www.quotemaster.org)https://www.quotemaster.org/architecture+students[Alt Text: Image of a sketch with a drafting board and two people standing in front of it, one of them saying “I haven’t much experience of such an early version of autocad”] 3.      To Start Out On Your Own It takes a great deal of skill to start practising as an independent designer or going for an entrepreneurial venture. The most difficult part, which is the beginning, can become easier if you have what it takes.  The field of design is connected to and borrows from many others. Starting a design practice not only requires field-related knowledge but also inter-disciplinary skills like business management, automation, digital communication, etc. If you aim to eventually start on your own, acquiring know-how and soft skills is essential. Multi-skilled individuals can then collaborate with many different kinds of people to deliver fantastic results. A skilful leader makes a skilful team! 

(Source: www.codycameron.com)https://codycameron.com/are-you-my-leader/[GIF showing popular animated character buzz lightyear surrounded by alien midgets] From filling the skill-gaps to practising design independently, we have reached full circle. The current pandemic situation has been harsh on us all. On the bright side, a lot of education platforms have come to light, inspiring individuals to make use of their time at home by taking up online design courses. Thanks to digitisation, it is now easier than ever to connect with individuals across the world! Thus, there has been a boom in the past year in the way people learn new skills. The growing give-and-take of knowledge around the world is turning designers into all-rounders with the skills necessary to tackle modern problems. So, if you are keen on trying something new, expanding your skillset and being future-ready, then check out these avenues for design upskilling and online architecture courses by Oneistox! 

[the-minus-four]

Autumn

Summary: you couldn’t believe your luck dating Tom Hiddleston, and when he discovers on of your darkest secrets, you’re even more surprised by his reaction.  Rating: 18+, (Smut) WC: 1961 Tags: Tom Hiddleston, smut, Dom/sub discovery, bondage, spanking, fingering, blowjob, sex. A/Ns: this is my first time writing, please be gentle! 

You were curled up on the sofa, latte in hand and a book propped open on your legs. You could hear the wind and the leaves blowing past the French windows, darkness slowly creeping up as the autumn night drew in. Tom would be home soon, you were waiting with your usual butterflies but also with anxiety. He’d been acting strange and a little secretive lately, and you wanted to confront him. He’d caught you reading smut a week ago but it had contained the kinky side of you that you’d desperately tried to hide from him. You didn’t want to scare him off. You’d been together a year now and it still didn’t seem real. He was perfect, a gentleman, muscular but slim, golden-brown hair and just so kind. He hadn’t been corrupted by his fame, and you couldn’t believe he’d chosen you. 

You’d met during a read-through, you were a screenwriter, and he was one of the leads in an adaptation of a book you’d written. You were surprised when he’d taken an interest in you, and it all just seemed too good to be true. 

The kinky side of you hadn’t really been a topic the pair of you had discussed before, the sex was great, he was incredible, but you liked to be submissive, to be punished and degraded. It’s just that you couldn’t bear the thought of losing him because of it, so you’d kept it secret. When he’d caught you reading the short story he’d asked you if it was what you like, what you want. You’d looked down, cheeks reddening and muttered quietly, making some excuse about researching for a script, feeling his intense eyes studying your reaction. No more had been said about it but he’d been distant this week. You had to say something. 

Keys rattling in your front door pulled you out of your thoughts, and a cold gust ran towards you as Tom came in. 

“Hey baby, how was work?” You leaned forward placing your coffee on the side table, and turned to face him. You couldn’t help checking him out, his t-shirt clinging to his toned body. 

“Good, how was your day? Get any writing done?” he came over and kissed you, before heading towards the kitchen and placing the package he was holding on the side. 

“Yeah, working on the screenplay for a Christmas episode, what did you buy?” Your curiosity had gotten the better of you almost immediately. He looked up at you, his brows furrowed slightly. 

“Close your eyes, I’ve got you a surprise.” You obeyed him, smiling slightly. You heard him shuffle a bit as you fought your impatience to try and sneak a peek. His footsteps moved gently towards you, stopping to kick off his shoes. As he got closer to you, you could smell his delicious scent, which made your heart flutter.

He leaned in close, “don’t move baby, still no peeking,” and he kissed your forehead gently. You felt something soft cover your eyes, was that his tie? But you felt a thin elastic cling to the back of your head. A blindfold? He moved away, and you heard his belt rattle, what was happening? You swallowed, wondering what he was doing. 

“Put your arms behind you,” he commanded.

“Tom…” you started.

“Don’t make me ask again,” he interrupted, and you moved your arms slowly behind you. He pulled the cardigan off your shoulders, and you heard it land softly on the other end of the sofa. The cool leather wrapped around your wrists, and he bound them together. Your heart was racing, and yet you felt yourself become wet as heat rushed to your core. He moved in front of you again, grabbing your chin and leading you to stand.

“Listen closely Y/N. You’ve been hiding yourself from me for a year now, I can’t say I’m happy about it. All this time, you’ve been a filthy whore, reading porn about women being degraded and used. Is that what you want?” his velvet voice goaded you. You whimpered, the wetness pooling in your core. His finger stroked your bottom lip, “use your words, baby.”

“Yes,” you whispered.

“Good girl.” He lifted the blindfold above your eyes, and you looked up to him, wide-eyed. “What would you like your safeword to be?” his face, a combination of soft and caring, but lustful, as he stroked around your cheek. 

“Um, are you sure you want this? I mean, I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to?” you asked, not wanting to make him feel like he wasn’t enough. You may get off on being submissive, but you didn’t want him to feel he had to, just to please you.

“You couldn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to. You have no idea how much I want this,” he growled, leaning in to kiss you. His soft lips took your breath away and you leaned forward wanting more, but he pulled away. 

“Now, what would you like your safeword to be? How about the traffic light system?”

“Okay,” you would have agreed to anything, just to get him to kiss you again, but his suggestion made sense, especially as you would be exploring a new part of your relationship. He pulled the blindfold back over your eyes, smirking at you. 

“Good, now turn around,” he commanded, and you obeyed quickly. His hand pressed your back, and you bent over until your head reached the back of the sofa. You heard him slip his shirt off, and his hand reached between your legs, gently trailing up your thighs and skirt, reaching your underwear. You moaned softly as he pressed firmly into your lids, rubbing against your clit, your hips pushing back to grind against him.

“Look at you. You can’t help but be a little slut can you?” his hand spanking your ass over your dress. You jolted at the sudden slap and whimpered as he removed his hand from between your legs. He lifted your dress above your ass and reached his hands up, gently stroking up your sides, reaching one hand round to grab your breast, pulling down your lace bra to pull at your nipple. You could feel his body close to yours, his cock hard and jutting into you. You grinded against him, biting your lip, becoming more desperate for him by the second. 

He stepped away, and his hands grasped your panties as he pulled them down your legs, letting them drop to the floor. His fingers stroked your wetness up and down.

“Fuck baby, you’re soaking already. Why didn’t you tell me how much of a submissive little whore you were before? Then I could’ve used your body just like you want me to. So tell me, how long have you been a slut?” He pushed a finger into you, and you moaned loudly. “Use your words, whore, or I’ll stop”. 

“I’ve always been a slut,” you whimpered, feeling yourself tighten around his finger, which was gently fucking you. As you answered, you felt a second finger enter you, stretching you out. 

“Mmm, good girl,” his fingers moved faster, fucking into you harder, how had he got you so close so quickly? You moaned, bucking against him, feeling yourself tighten around him. A slap landed hard on your ass, and you squealed pulling away. “Let’s get one thing straight baby. This is my pussy, and I say when you get to come. You must ask permission, which I will then decide if you deserve it. And guess what baby, permission denied,” he growled harshly into your ear. His fingers slid out, and he spread your wetness over you. He stepped away, and pulled on your arms, straightening you up.

“Kneel.” You sank to your knees, and opened your mouth, ready to take him. He chuckled softly, “desperate for my cock, are you?” You nodded, and felt him brush his tip over your lips. Leaning forward, your lips wrapped around the head of his cock and you began to move up and down his length, taking more of him in each time. You heard him moan as you took him fully, and his hand grabbed the back of your head. His hips thrust into you and you gagged, not expecting the sudden force at the back of your throat as he began fucking your mouth.

“Take my cock baby girl, remember you exist to please me now. If I catch you reading any more of your slutty stories, you’re going to be punished, got it?” He pulled your head back, and dragged you to your feet, pushing you back onto the sofa. A hard slap landed on your ass. “Got it?” he snarled.

“Yes,” you whimpered. Another slap made you squeal.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir,” the tip of his cock ran through your slick and towards your entrance. “Good girl.” 

He pulled your hips onto his cock, and you both moaned as he filled you. He began fucking you harder and harder, holding your arms to pull you back, fucking you deeper. You moaned, feeling yourself getting closer.

“Sir, please can I come?” you gasped, tightening around his length.

“No.” You whimpered, knowing you couldn’t hold it. 

“Please, sir, please, I need to come.” 

“I don’t care.” He thrust deep inside you, before slipping out completely. Your legs were shaking, you were on the edge, “fuck baby girl, you’re beautiful like this. One touch away from release, begging to come.” He leant over you and kissed down your back, biting gently. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want to come, sir, I want your cock inside me and I want you to come,” you gasped.

“Fine,” he growled, and pushed into you, fucking you without restraint. His cock slammed into you, and you screamed as you clenched around him getting your release. His moans got more desperate as he continued to thrust into and you felt him fill you as he slowed to a stop. He pulled out of you gently, and reached up to release your arms. You sank into the sofa, and he reached to remove the cover around your eyes, throwing it to one side. You turned and looked at him, grinning, he sat on the sofa and pulled you towards him, wrapping his arms around you.

“Did you enjoy that baby?” he brushed your hair away from your face, pulling you chin up and gently placing a kiss on your lips.

“Yeah,” you responded, a little breathless, “did you?”

“Mmm, very much so.”

You stayed curled on the sofa for a while, enjoying the comfort and affection as he gently stroked your hair, kissing you occasionally. 

“I think we should talk about what just happened,” you said quietly, pushing away from him. He frowned slightly. 

“Did you not enjoy it?” he asked concerning filling his face, “was it too much?” 

“No, I loved it, I just wanted to make sure you did,” you fretted, looking into his blue eyes.

“Do you really think I would do it, if I wasn’t comfortable with it? Relax sweetheart, we’ll take it slow and make sure you tell me what you do and don’t like. Why don’t you go and look in the parcel I brought home? I got you some things to pick from,” he grinned mischievously. You stood up, and walked over to the package, looking in to see an assortment of bondage equipment. 

You looked back over to Tom. Life didn’t get better than this, you were in a relationship with Tom Hiddleston, he treated you like a princess, and now he was going to be your Dominant too. A grin spread across your face, as he winked at you from the sofa.

[starwarsnonsense]

Top 10 Most Anticipated Films of 2020

Now I’ve got my embarrassingly late ‘Best of 2019′ list out of the way, I can finally proceed to the list that’s probably more exciting - my most anticipated films of 2020!

This list excludes films that have already been screened at festivals (otherwise, stuff like Saint Maud would be here). It’s also somewhat analogous to groping about for a light switch in the dark - these lists very rarely accurately predict my ultimate favourites for the year, so it’s more of a fun speculative exercise. Hopefully this puts some intriguing-looking films on your radar for the year ahead! 

1. Dune (dir. Denis Villeneuve)

Plot: The story of Paul Atreides (Timothée Chalamet), a brilliant and gifted young man born into a great destiny beyond his understanding, who must travel to the most dangerous planet in the universe to ensure the future of his family and his people.

Why be excited? The reasons to be excited about Dune should be pretty self-evident - it’s directed by one of the greatest filmmakers working today (Villeneuve’s Incendies and Blade Runner 2049 are all-timers for me), and is based on one of the best science-fiction novels ever written. The cast -  Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac, Javier Bardem, Charlotte Rampling, and more - is absolutely stacked with talent. There’s every reason to believe that this will be something special, and I couldn’t be more pleased that Villeneuve is the man responsible for filling that Star Wars-shaped hole in the December release schedule.

2. Annette (dir. Leos Carax)

Plot: A stand-up comedian (Adam Driver), and his opera singer wife (Marion Cotillard), have a two-year-old daughter with a surprising gift.

Why be excited? You may not have heard of him, but Leos Carax is one of the most exciting directors working - he only makes around one film a decade, but the films he does make tend to be very special. I’ve only seen one film of his - Lovers on the Bridge - but that was filled with such ecstatic romance and wondrous visuals that it made me tremendously excited for Annette. Annette is a top-to-bottom musical with songs by American duo Sparks (if you know them for anything, it will be ‘This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us’), and said songs will be delivered by Adam Driver and Marion Cotillard. It goes without saying that both actors are extremely talented performers with great voices (see Driver in Marriage Story and Cotillard in Nine for evidence), and I’m looking forward to seeing how they demonstrate their talents here.

3. Last Night in Solo (dir. Edgar Wright)

Plot: A young girl (Thomasin McKenzie), passionate in fashion design, is mysteriously able to enter the 1960s where she encounters her idol, a dazzling wannabe singer (Anya Taylor-Joy). But 1960s London is not what it seems, and time seems to fall apart with shady consequences.

Why be excited? I’m not the biggest Edgar Wright fan, but I admire him greatly and the premise of Last Night in Soho is like cat-nip to me. Speaking to Empire, Wright explained the story as follows: “I’m taking a premise whereby you have a character who, in a sort of abstract way, gets to travel in time. And the reality of the decade is maybe not what she imagines. It has an element of ‘be careful what you wish for’.” I’m a sucker for a good, old-fashioned high concept, especially when said films play with genre and really challenge the viewer. The two female leads - Thomasin McKenzie (JoJo Rabbit, Leave No Trace) and Anya Taylor-Joy (The Witch, Emma) - are among the very best young actors working today, and the supporting cast features absolute legends such as Diana Rigg and Terence Stamp. Whether it’s successful or not, this film feels like a genuinely original prospect and I’m eager to see how it turns out.

4. The Green Knight (dir. David Lowery)

Plot: A fantasy re-telling of the medieval tale of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

Why be excited? There has been a sad lack of films based on mythology in recent years - or, to be more accurate, there has been a sad lack of films that attempt to honour what the myths were actually trying to convey. The stunning trailer for Green Knight promises a film that genuinely engages with its source material, and is just as interested in the psychological truths of the tale as the spectacle of its fantastical scenarios. Dev Patel is an extremely talented actor coming off another great movie in The Personal History of David Copperfield, and the supporting cast (Alicia Vikander!) appear to be fully committed to their parts. I’m excited to see a true myth on the big screen again, and David Lowery (A Ghost Story, The Old Man & The Gun) can be trusted to give an old tale a new sense of vitality. 

5. The French Dispatch (dir. Wes Anderson)

Plot: The staff of a European publication decides to publish a memorial edition highlighting the three best stories from the last decade: an artist sentenced to life imprisonment, student riots, and a kidnapping resolved by a chef.

Why be excited? It’s a Wes Anderson movie! Of course I’m excited! In all seriousness, the trailer was all I needed to get hyped about this. It’s clearly Anderson’s quintessential style, but it also shows flashes of some very bold and striking compositions (yes, I’m thinking of Chalamet on the back of that motorcycle) that you wouldn’t necessarily think of in relation to him. I’m intrigued by the prospect of there being stories nested within a story, which feels like the perfect choice for the structure of a film about a newspaper. The cast features all of Anderson’s old favourites (Swinton! Murray! McDormand!), as well as some exciting new additions (Timothée Chalamet, Elisabeth Moss, Christoph Waltz, among others) that feel so well-suited to his style it’s surprising they haven’t worked together before. Bring on all those immaculately composed shots and exquisite colour palettes.

6. Tenet (dir. Christopher Nolan)

Plot: Unknown. The project is described as an action epic revolving around international espionage.

Why be excited? I hate to sound repetitive, but ... it’s a Christopher Nolan movie. That alone is enough to be hyped about this. Details of the plot are vague for now, but the teaser suggests the sort of intelligent, high-concept film-making we’ve come to expect from Nolan. John David Washington - who impressed in BlacKkKlansman - is a great choice for the lead, and I also love that Tenet will feature Robert Pattinson and Elizabeth Debicki (among my favourite actors) in prominent roles. There’s not much else to say given how little we know about this, but suffice to say I’ll be there on day one!

7. Wonder Woman 1984 (dir. Patty Jenkins)

Plot: Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) comes into conflict with the Soviet Union during the Cold War in the 1980s and finds a formidable foe by the name of the Cheetah (Kristen Wiig).

Why be excited? The original Wonder Woman was an absolute delight, and I couldn’t be more pleased that Patty Jenkins is back to continue Diana’s story. The decision to pick up with Diana in the 1980s is most intriguing (and paves the way for all kinds of exciting choices when it comes to the music and the fashions), especially since it looks like the film is actually going to explore the implications of being an immortal being in a mortal world. 

8. Raya and the Last Dragon (dir. Paul Briggs and Dean Wellins)

Plot: A lone warrior from the fantasy kingdom of Kumandra teams up with a crew of misfits in her quest to find the Last Dragon and bring light and unity back to their world.

Why be excited? The animation scene in 2020 looks kind of ... blah at the moment, with the notable exception of Raya and the Last Dragon. The setting was described by the film’s producer as  "a reimagined Earth inhabited by an ancient civilization that venerated the mythical dragons for their power and their wisdom”, and that alone is enough to fire up my imagination. Off the back of Moana and the Frozen films (which I all unabashedly love), I trust Disney Animation to instil this with plenty of colour and verve.

9. I’m Thinking of Ending Things (dir. Charlie Kaufman)

Plot: An unexpected detour turns a couple’s road trip into a terrifying journey through their fragile psyches.

Why be excited? Directed by Charlie Kaufman (writer of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), I’m Thinking of Ending Things is based on a prize-winning novel. However, despite the pedigree the main reason I’m looking forward to this is Jessie Buckley. Buckley gave a star-making performance in Beast a few years ago, and has since proven herself an actor of immense talent and skill (see Wild Rose for proof of what a powerhouse she is). I’m excited to see her career continue to go from strength to strength, and I’m Thinking of Ending Things seems poised to be a great showcase for her.

10. The Last Duel (dir. Ridley Scott)

Plot: King Charles VI declares that Knight Jean de Carrouges (Matt Damon) settle his dispute with his squire (Adam Driver) by challenging him to a duel.

Why be excited? Ridley Scott is a bit of a mixed bag for me, and has never come close to reaching the heights of Alien and Blade Runner with his recent work. Nonetheless, against my better judgement I can’t help but be excited by the prospect of a medieval epic with Scott at the helm. The acting talent attached to The Last Duel is top-notch, and I’m particularly fond of Jodie Comer (of Killing Eve fame) and Adam Driver (do you really need me to say more?). There’s a very real danger of the highly sensitive plot (the ‘dispute’ at the heart of the story concerns an accusation of rape, the truth of which is to be determined with a duel) being mishandled by Scott, but the involvement of screenwriter Nicole Holofcener gives me some hope. This could turn out to be a misfire, but my hope is that it will, at the very least, be interesting.

[judgmentofcorruption]

Episode 6–The Sinking Story; Scene 3

Judgment of Corruption, pages 189-196

After that, Ma formally came to assist the USE allied forces as per Tony’s request.

“Though I don’t know how much help I’ll be.”

Tony grinned at Ma’s remark. “That’s alright. If you need anything at all, just let these two know.” He introduced two young soldiers who had similar features to each other. “This is second lieutenant Nyoze Octo and sergeant major Gammon Octo. They’re brothers. Nyoze is the older, and Gammon is the younger. They have Jakokuan ancestry, so you might find them easier to deal with.”

The Octo brothers saluted Ma.

“Pleased to meet you.”

“—Oh yes, the pleasure is mine. I’m quite happy to have such attractive young men at my side.”

Some lodging that was one of the military facilities was set aside for Ma’s new place of residence.

.

At Gallerian’s estate, Michelle was proposing an idea to her father in the living room.

“A trip?”

“Yeah. I was thinking we could go during break. Since I’ll be really busy once college starts up.”

“Is Mama going to go with you?”

“Yeah. So—I was wondering if you could come along.”

But Gallerian regretfully shook his head.

“I can’t just take time off work. Papa has only just become the director, and he’s very busy.”

“Alriiight…I guess it can’t be helped.”

“Where are you planning to go for the trip?”

“At first I thought it would be nice to go to Maistia where Bruno’s from, but Mama said that would be too far.”

“And they’re in the middle of a civil war right now.”

“Right. So I thought we’d go instead to your homeland of Marlon, Papa. I wanna see Grandpa, since it’s been so long.”

“That sounds fine. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”

“We’re planning to be there about two weeks, so we’re going next week.”

“—I’ll be lonely while you’re gone.”

“You’ll be alright. You’ll have Bruno and the other servants with you.”

“I’ll still be lonely.”

“I’ll call you every day.”

“And you better not get mixed up with any strange men over there.”

“Aw, come on. You’re always saying that, Papa.”

As the two of them laughed together, they could hear the doorbell ring outside.

After a short while, Larisa appeared before them.

“Begging your pardon, Sir—Lady ‘Ma’ has come to see you.”

“I see. Send her in.”

Michelle asked Gallerian, “Is it a visitor? Maybe I should head out.”

“No—Stay here. She might have come to see you.”

Ma appeared in the living room, brought along by Larisa.

“Good day.”

When Michelle greeted her, Ma broke into a grin.

“Good day, young miss—I’m a friend of your father’s, and the screenwriter named Kayo Sudou. I’d like it if you called me ‘Ma’.”

“Uh huh…” While making a half-hearted reply, Michelle gazed intently at Ma.

“Is there something on my face?”

“No—I mean, I’ve only seen her in photographs, but…You look a lot like my late grandma.”

“Oh my, heh heh…It’s a bit of a long story, but I changed my face out of admiration for your grandmother.”

“Wow…That’s amazing.”

Gallerian butted into the conversation, “Even so…It’s odd you haven’t aged at all, despite fourteen years going by.”

“You know of the facility ‘Lunaca Labora’, yes? This is a gift from there.”

“So you’re saying there’s a device amongst its machines that can preserve beauty.”

Being an adolescent herself, Michelle reacted sharply to the mention of the word beauty. “That’s curious. Maybe you should take me to this facility.”

“Hahaha, I think that would be unnecessary for you, Miss Michelle. You are quite lovely enough without using such means. –You look exactly as I thought you would.”

“…?”

“Though whatever the case I’d like to take a day to talk to you, if I may.”

“I’m curious about you too. Including the matter of this beauty machine. But I’m planning to leave Levianta on a trip next week.”

“That’s unfortunate. Then I suppose we’ll have to save it for another day, after you get back.” Ma then turned to Gallerian. “I did come here to see your daughter today—but I also have a favor I would like to ask of you.”

“What is it? I’m all ears.”

“Since I’ve returned to society after so long away, I was thinking that I might make a new movie soon. My occupation is that of a screenwriter, after all.”

“A movie, huh—But you would need a lot of money for that.”

“Indeed. Therefore…I need to ask someone wealthy to provide the funds.”

“You’re asking me to be your sponsor?”

Michelle laughed and clapped innocently, listening in from the side. “A movie! That’s great! It sounds like fun.”

“Hmm. I don’t know…” Gallerian’s brow furrowed. “It’s not like I don’t have money to spare. But in all honestly, most of it is my wife’s money—or, more accurately, it’s assistance from her family. I myself have only just become director, so I haven’t been able to save all that much yet…”

As Gallerian was faltering, Ma shoved a book before him.

“What’s this?”

“It’s the ‘Daughter of Evil’, penned by Yukina Freezis—I was wanting to use it as the basis for this movie.”

“The ‘Daughter of Evil’…That’s the story of the princess who set the stage for the Lucifenian Revolution—But I’m quite sure someone’s already made this into a movie.”

“That’s true. But the ‘Daughter of Evil’ that I have has slightly different contents than the version that is widely known. It is the true story of the ‘Daughter of Evil’, that Yukina Freezis wrote in secret—I’m positive that it will be the subject of much conversation once it’s been screened.”

“Hum…”

“In either case, this book was written pertaining to both your ancestor, ‘Kyle Marlon’, and the ‘Elluka Clockworker’ of the time, someone that I and your mother idolized. I was thinking that you might still enjoy it even as mere reading material. We’ll leave the matter of funding for after you’ve read it—just so long as you give the matter some thought.”

“…Alright. I’ll read it on my day off. Do you mind if I borrow the book?”

“Go ahead. But you must make sure to return it once you’re done reading. There are some records on ‘dead soldiers’ in the book as well, so I want to lend it to General Tony later.”

Gallerian nodded and started to flip through the book that had been handed to him.

“…This book seems to be written in Yukina Freezis’ own handwriting. It looks to have a great deal of historical value. I’ll treat it carefully.”

Michelle peered at the book from the side with great interest.

“The ‘Daughter of Evil’. I read that when I was a kid.”

Ma smiled again at the sight of that. “In the event that the movie is made, perhaps you could play a part in it, Miss Michelle. I think you’d be perfect for the role of ‘Michaela’, the woman with whom King Kyle falls in love—Now then, I’ve got some other matters to attend to, so I’ll leave it there.”

Ma bowed her head a touch, then left Gallerian’s estate.

.

--But in the end, the “Daughter of Evil” movie was never screened, nor was Michelle ever to play a role in it.

Three weeks later, an event occurred that caused a rapid transformation in Gallerian’s life.

To a man like him who led an unsatisfactory married life, his daughter Michelle was the sole person to whom he could devote his affection.

It would not be an exaggeration to say that now that he had fulfilled his personal goals to a certain degree, Michelle was everything to Gallerian.

.

Midway through its return voyage from Marlon, the ship that Michelle and her mother were riding on, the “S.S. Titanis”—

Met with an unexpected event, and sank to the bottom of the sea.

<<prev------directory------next>>

[firstpuffin]

Going postal about Going Postal

- Note = I’ve mentioned before about my dislike of negativity, but I promise that this three part release will get gradually more positive. I love Terry Pratchett and I adore the original Going Postal, and that’s probably why I can’t be positive here. But the second will be kinder and the third will be praising the topic.

I watched part one of the Going Postal mini-series today, which is the first book in the Discworld series to cover Moist Von Lipwig (and yes, everyone reacts to the name), good natured conman. After many long years of conning he is eventually arrested and hanged, only not to die.

   See, technically it’s his alias Albert Spangler who is hanged, giving Moist (played by overacting yet endearing Richard Coyle) a chance to start anew as a reluctantly honest civil servant. The ever-amazing Patrician (Charles Dance who may be perfect for the role) has him become the new postmaster general for the city’s long decrepit post office, a positively final position.

   Moist learns this when he meets Adora Belle Dearheart, played by Claire Foy, (a surprisingly good choice actually) when she rather callously tells him about the “curse”. So Moist is trying to survive the postal service, woo the harsh Adora Belle and avoid getting murdered by Reacher Gilt (David Suchet).

  No, this isn’t an overview, I just wanted to give a little context and show you the actually very good cast, because that’s probably the best part.

  Going Postal starts off pretty strong, if allowing for necessary changes, ignoring frequent overacting and the abuse of Moist’s character. Actually no, let’s not ignore that one.

   Moist is not a violent man, always talking instead of fighting. He’s charming and smart and manipulates the people around him with but a word. Movie Moist throws a bloody tantrum and it’s a while before we see any charm or wit. That’s very disappointing.

   It is disappointing precisely because it can be included. There is no reason not to include the dialogue that Pratchett has already written. Time? Well they replace his charm with tantrums so no, runtime clearly wasn’t a factor.

  I’m going to overlook the weird costume choices of bright colours and oddly plastic-looking clothes because I’d rather focus on the story, and that’s what is so far the most troubling.

  I know full-well that turning a book into what is effectively a two-part movie means you have to cut things out, and to change certain bits. It has to flow, and it has to fit a time-limit…

   But, well as I said at the start, technically it’s the alias Albert Spangler who gets hanged, and they actually call him by that name. Once. But Moist is definitely called by his real name while imprisoned and at the noose. Heck, he even signs the damn rope. Why? What was the purpose of that change?

   Anyhoo, there are a great number of changes that don’t make sense as the story continues. Terry Pratchett’s genius is less in his storytelling and more in his world, characters and humour. By changing these characters they are sacrificing both character and humour.

  I’m- I’m tired of whining so let’s wrap this up. I didn’t expect the movie to be very good; I actually expected it to be a pretty bad rendition of the story, but I thought that the important bits would still be there.

   The important bits are not there.

   The screenwriters of Going Postal went postal on the story, making changes that they then had to work around to get the film back on track. They turned a brilliant and original piece of work into a very uninspired story that any Hollywood hack could throw together.

  You may notice that I didn’t give any constructive examples like I normally do and there’s a good reason for that: there’s already a fantastic example that I can’t match.

   It’s called Going Postal, by Sir Terry Pratchett.

[icannotreadcursive]

Cats 2019, Dir. Tom Hooper

Overall Quality ⭐️1/5

Entertainment Value ⭐️1/5

Story ⭐️1/5

Visuals and Craft ⭐️⭐️2/5

There is so much potential for artistic and cinematic greatness in a modern, high budget film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's beloved, though admittedly peculiar, musical Cats. Tom Hooper's attempt squanders every drop of that potential. I expected it to be bad, just based on the trailer. I was prepared for it to be an unmitigated disaster. Somehow it managed to be worse that I ever imagined. It is the worst movie I have ever seen.

Cats is a very weird musical—among theatre folk it's pretty strictly a you love it or you hate it show, with some people falling in a third camp where it's not really their cup of tea and they're really not fans, but they can't help but acknowledge that the show is high quality theatre, regardless of how kitschy and odd it is.  There are a lot of people, myself included, though, who love this musical. They are a built in audience of thousands, possibly millions, and they are who this movie should have been made for. The filmmakers' first mistake among many was that instead of making a Cats movie for the people who love Cats as it is, they tried to make a Cats movie for the people who don't get it and don't like it. That was an incredibly stupid decision. You're never going to bring those people around, it's a waste of time and resources to try, and the most damning thing is that all the baffling changes the filmmakers made to the musical and its story to try and make it more palatable to those who don't like the show as it exists, only serve to alienate the diehard Cats fans who should have been their strongest supporters.

Every problem in Tom Hooper's Cats comes down to gross misunderstanding of the source material and what people enjoy about it, and a shocking degree of disrespect for the show and its characters.  I can comfortably call myself something of an expert on Cats in the theatre—I've seen several productions, been in one, written academic papers about the show, and the book of poetry upon which its based, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot, sits on the shelf about ten feet from me as I type this review. I do not expect anyone to have the same intensity of interest or depth of understanding for Cats as I do; it wouldn't be reasonable. But I do expect anyone making a film adaptation of anything to put effort and serious thought into their project, and to care for and appreciate the source material they're working with. No one in decision making positions on this film seems to have done that. I wouldn't be surprised if I learned that neither Tom Hooper nor screenwriter Lee Hall had ever even seen the show.

Where even to begin with all the bizarre and terrible choices that went into this dumpster fire of a film?  This is going to take a while; there's a lot bad filmaking to break down on several levels.

Broad strokes, the movie completely misunderstands what the plot of the stage show actually is, then proceeds to shoehorn in new and unnecessary scenes in what I can only imagine is an attempt to make the plot make more sense. This fails spectacularly, since they're wrong in the first place about what the plot is, thus they succeed only in destroying the actual story of the show, muddying the overcomplicated and misguided narrative they've hamhandedly cobbled together, and interrupt the natural flow of what is supposed to be a sung-through musical such that the entire thing drags on like a last hour math class on Friday before school break.  This is worsened by the fact that the film stops dead in the middle of musical numbers several times for the sake of uninspired, usually offensive, and extraneous gags.

To be clear, the plot of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats, as spelled out fairly explicitly by Munkustrap early in the show, is that every year, one night on the full moon, all the members of a tribe of cats called the Jellicles get together to have a big party called the Jellicle Ball, at the end of which their leader, Old Deuteronomy, selects one member of the tribe who has lived a full life and can now be reborn. Over the course of the Ball, several prominent members of the tribe get songs sung about them.  The general vibe is very much big family reunion where your uncles, siblings, grandparents, and cousins tell stories about what they've been up to since you last saw them, or about how things were back in their day, depending.

The plot of Tom Hooper's Cats is that every year, one night on the full moon, a bunch of cats get together, allegedly to have a party called the Jellicle Ball, even though most of the movie they seem to be more or less aimlessly wandering the same two or three streets, and over the course of the party some of them sing songs about themselves as part of a competition to try to convince their leader, Old Deuteronomy, that they are the one she should pick to be reborn so they can come back and be “who they really want to be.” This year, it just so happens that a completely unrelated cat has been abandoned in the exact back ally where the Jellicles are hanging out before the Ball. Oh, and this year this one other cat, Macavity, has decided to kidnap all of the other cats that are competing to be chosen to be reborn, so he'll be the only contestant left and Old Deuteronomy will have to pick him.

The idea that the cats with individual songs about them are competing to be chosen to be reborn is a pretty common misunderstanding of the show, but it's one that doesn't hold up to much scrutiny.  For one thing, several of the individual songs take place before Old Deuteronomy arrives at the Ball, so the songs clearly are not being presented to Deuteronomy for judgment. For another, most of the characters who have individual songs come across as quite young, only one (Gus) is elderly, and if you pay any attention to the lyrics of their songs, these cats are loving their lives. It makes no sense that they would want to die and give up the lives they are still living to their fullest. Clearly no one involved in this movie bothered to take even two seconds to think that through. As for the idea that the chosen cat comes back as “who they really want to be,” I have no idea where the filmmakers got that.

The central themes of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats are identity, community, and dignity. The film kind of, sort of keeps the theme of identity, at least as far as they kept in most of the song “The Naming of Cats,” which is about identity, sense of self, and the difference between how one is seen by others and how one sees oneself. They omit roughly half the song.

The theme of community is mostly lost, and what little of it remains is twisted strangely by the decision to make Victoria an outsider. In the stage show, all the cats are Jellicles, they are tribe, a family, and they are proud of it. Grizabella is ostracized because she left a long time ago and, it seems, abandoned the tribe. So, now that she's old and lonely and wants to come home, they don't want her back. The emotional climax of the show is when, after the iconic lament of lost youth and righteous demand to be respected as an individual that is “Memory,” Victoria reaches out and touches Grizabella, accepting her back into the tribe and recognizing her as a fellow with the first feline contact Grizabella has had the entire show. This moment is robbed entirely of its power in Tom Hooper's film, largely because all of Grizabella's agency has been taken from her and given to Victoria. Instead of Grizabella stepping up for herself and asserting that she is still a part of this community and deserves to be treated with respect, Victoria physically escorts her in and instructs her to sing. Bear in mind that in the context of the film, Victoria is not a member of the tribe, she's just been inexplicably allowed to tag along, and thus is in no position to be the one accepting Grizabella back.

When it comes to dignity, Grizabella suffers as well. Not only is she stripped of her agency, but “Memory” is turned into a melodramatic self-pitying mess. Bad directoral choices remove every bit of strength and self esteem Grizabella has, especially during that song, which is an unforgivable waste of Jennifer Hudson. Almost every other character is treated as badly, or worse.

Macavity is taken from a truly frightening and threatening—but sexy—figure of mystery and demoted to pathetic, desperate cartoon villain that I think was supposed to be funny. He wasn't funny. This was a waste of Idris Elba, an excellent actor who could have brought refreshing and terrifying depth to what is an often neglected character.

Rum Tum Tugger does not have his usual badboy rockstar jerk with a heart of gold persona, he's just an egotistical asshole.

Grizabella, Macavity, and Tugger are the only characters in the film who visually read as POC through all the CG. They are all pathetic, unlikable, or both. Intentional or not, that feels really racist.

Bombalurina loses her entire character. Instead of a lovable rogue, member of the tribe who knows a questionable amount about Macavity, which gives her her own air of mystery, she's reduced to a flat, weirdly sexualized henchman. This may in part be due to Taylor Swift being too expensive to give more screen time, so they couldn't allow the character to breathe. If that's the case, they should not have cast Taylor Swift—she's not a bad choice for the role, but she is not worth destroying the character for. She certainly hasn't helped the film so much as break even on its budget.

Gus the Theatre Cat is played by Sir Ian McKellen, who is probably the best actor alive on the planet for that role, they could not have cast anyone better, and yet they waste him as well. Gus is old, Gus is physically and mentally feeble, but—on stage—the tribe still love and respect him. In the film, he's framed as pitiable, even laughable.  The ageism isn't as overt as it could have been, but it is sickening.

Bustopher Jones (James Corden) and Jennyanydots (Rebel Wilson) are treated worst of all. Both characters are usually portrayed as on the heavy side. Bustopher is directly described in his song as “remarkably fat,” and Jennyanydots tends matronly by theatre tradition. Both characters are unambiguously described as very proper and clean freaks. The filmmakers elected to ignore this characterization in favor of making them both crude, messy, food obsessed slobs, which is shockingly fatphobic.

The only characters who come out more or less unscathed are Old Deuteronomy and Munkustrap. I personally do not agree with the casting of Dame Judy Dench as Old Deuteronomy, the gender flip strikes me as unnecessary and a cheap grab at woke points, but I love Dame Judy and she is a fantastic actor. She brings the grace and poise the role requires and embodies the character as well as anyone could in the middle of such a mess. For his part, Robbie Fairchild as Munkustrap benefits from neglect. The filmakers don't seem to have given Munkustrap much thought or much direction—the role is unchanged from the stage show, except, maybe in that the film doesn't allow him to be as central a character, since it's so obsessively focused on Victoria. Fairchild himself clearly studied Munkustraps in other productions. He feels like the same character, even in how he moves, while still making the role his own.

Several characters are simply deleted. Jemima is awkwardly combined with Victoria, who keeps getting other characters' agency and purpose bestowed upon her, yet isn't allowed to have her crowning moment of awesome in the White Cat Dance to herself. Demeter supposedly exists in the film, played by Daniela Norman, but gets left out of her main musical number so that Taylor Swift can hog it. Jellylorum is omitted entirely, which leaves Gus seeming both isolated and full of himself.

The visual effects are awful. Trying to make the cats look “realistic” was a horrible choice, and poorly executed. The faces are all far too human, and everyone looks uncomfortably naked.  The ears and tails aren't an inherently bad idea, but the tails are too long and move too much and just wind up being creepy. Frequently, characters' feet do not look like they're in contact with the floor—Gollum in Lord of the Rings was better rendered and incorporated eighteen years ago. On the subject of feet, some cats have shoes, all of which look somehow wrong, and those that are barefoot have extremely unsettling hybrids of human feet and cat paws. Once, Victoria seems to dance en pointe barefoot on those mutant toes, which illicited in me a visceral body horror. Much of the character design is just baffling. Victoria, whose defining physical characteristic is that she is the one white cat in the tribe, is not a white cat. She has spots now for some reason. Jennyanydots takes off her skin to reveal bedazzled fur, hot pants, and a halter top underneath. Skimbleshanks looks like a rejected member of the Village People. I can't tell if Deuteronomy's fur is supposed to be her fur or a coat.

The cats are inconsistent in size with relation to the world around them, and that world is inconsistent is seeming like it's for humans or for cats played by humans.

The music from the show is great, and should have been a redeeming quality in the film, but they managed to screw that up too. Almost every song has the life drained out of it, which is not the fault of the actors, all of whom I know from their previous work to be strong enough performers to carry their roles, if only they had been directed well. I've already discussed how “Memory” was ruined. “Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer” is unrecognizable, the tune and many lyrics are changed. Despite the 1930s-ish setting, several songs have been pop-ified or hiphop-ified seemingly at random. There are weird lyric changes throughout, often taking the form of altered verb tense, that serve no discernible purpose. The film is apparently allergic to group musical numbers, so sections that are usually sung in groups get split up one line at a time, which does not work, and all the cats that have individual songs sing about themselves rather than their peers singing about them, which makes them all come across as self centered and narcissistic.

Cats is a musical usually marked by having a huge among of excellent dancing. The dancing here is all awkward and often unsettling. Additionally, the language of movement companies of actors performing cats usually exhibit that lets them read as feline is entirely lacking. Robbie Fairchild is the only one who seems to try at all. To his credit, he succeeds.

The best we can hope for this film is that it quickly fades of public memory. To the cast, I hope they at least had fun making fools of themselves. To T.S. Eliot, I'm sorry this happened. To Andrew Lloyd Webber, how did you let this happen? To Tom Hooper, your movie is bad and you should feel bad.

The worst thing about this unredeemable disaster of a film is the handful of times you can just catch a glimpse through all the bad decisions and worse CGI of how good it might have been.

[collegeessayguy]

This list was compiled by my screenwriter friends Ed and Whit. Thanks, y’all.

Need more fun ideas? Hopefully this helps. Check out Part 2 here.

TO DO

Learn how to cook. From Michelin-starred chef, Massimo Bottura. He hosts an online cooking class on his Instagram and Christopher Kimball’s Milk Street has made its online cooking class free through April 30th.

Live Yoga Classes!

How about origami! One of my favorite skills learned as a child was origami. But my friend Becky had to teach me in person! And we all know “in person” is stupid now. Let’s learn online! It’s free.

Another thing I loved as a kid were Rebus puzzles — those visual word puzzles which hide common phrases. There are hundreds of them on the bottom of this website but make sure to do them in order because they list the answers to the last set on top of the current set.

Have a picnic indoors. Get a video of the outdoors and throw it up on your TV. Then, on your computer or phone, bring up some birds chirping or other nature sounds. Put them both on at the same time, put a blanket on your floor, and have a picnic. Believe me, it’s worth it.

FOR KIDS

A great google doc I did NOT make but was asked to share. Tons of kid-focused lessons and activities. Some stuff for grown-ups, too!

Sesame Street is chipping in because of course they do. They’re making games, videos and more all free. Their content list is constantly being updated so check out this page to keep up-to-date.

The Broad (a great museum in Los Angeles) offers a weekly “Let’s Make Art! Family Workshop At Home.” Every Friday they post a new project on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. Here’s the first one on YouTube!

Drawing class for kids every day on Instagram. You’ve probably heard of this one. It’s been going around a lot. But just in case, here you go!

TO HELP

Help make masks for our doctors and nurses!

A friend (writer) and his wife (ER doctor) created a tax deductible fund where you can donate money that goes directly to buying meals for ER and ICU staff. If you’ve had the thought of donating food to those on the frontline, this is a great way to do it (and tax deductible!)

TO FEEL

Want to brighten up your day? Watch the Berklee College of Music students sing: “Love Sweet Love.” It’s really great.

Here’s a good article about what you may be feeling. And what you may be feeling is grief.

A friend suggested that since we’re all washing our hands to the tune of “Happy Birthday” multiple times a day, why not include a different friend’s name each time? That way you’re thinking about your good friends Katie and Grant instead of mindlessly singing “Happy Birthday” to no one like a crazy person.

TO WATCH

Part One we listed the Metropolitan Opera’s free shows but other operas are airing their own productions. The Vienna State Opera is showing pre-recorded operas. You have to register but then it’s free. And a new one every day!

Just something to lighten the mood and astound you: a magic trick. But honestly? Maybe the best magic trick I’ve ever seen. I know magic doesn’t usually translate on video but this one does. A true master.

Watch a movie series in chronological order. The Marvel movies come to mind, here’s the list. But there are other ways to watch movie series rather than chronological. How about watching the Star Wars movies in “Machete Order”? Episodes: IV, V, II, III, VI, VII, VIII, IX. Or, for something shorter but still Star Wars, how about this amazing reimagining of the Kenobi/ Vader lightsaber fight. If only all the films were made this well!

You’ve probably seen plenty of places to watch Broadway shows but how about documentaries ABOUT Broadway shows? Here’s a list of some great ones to watch!

I was going to list only the best of this list but Gizmodo has so many good, “nerdy” ideas for free viewing that I’ll just link the article. It includes: CBS All Access, Quibi, Showtime, and Amazon Kids. Also some great places to read: Audible, Internet Archive, and Scribt.

Sports! Sure, the NBA and NFL aren’t playing live games but that doesn’t mean we can’t get FREE access to their Passes. The NBA League Pass is free through April 22nd and the NFL Game Pass is free through May 31st. It’s all replays and classic games but still.... free sports!

And Sir Patrick Stewart is reading Shakespeare every day on Twitter. It’s worth a listen.

TO LEARN

Interview your partner/roommate/child/parent. If you’re quarantined with someone else, why not REALLY get to know them? For many years my job was traveling across the country interviewing strangers for consumer product research. But why does it have to be strangers? Interview your family or friend. Really get to know them for one hour. Ask them questions that don’t normally come up in day-to-day life. “Greatest fear,” “biggest regret,” “dream occupation,” “if you had a magic wand, what would you change in the world right now?” And you can’t say, “Cure the pandemic!” Tip: Have them answer every question in a complete sentence so you can understand their answer without having to hear the interviewer ask the question. Plus, as my boss always told me: “No matter what they say, ASK WHY?” That’s when the answers get interesting. For an ADDED activity, take your interview tape (from your phone or camera) and edit it on iMovie. A one hour interview should cut down nicely to 10 minutes. You get the experience of editing (very easy on iMovie) and then you have a piece of history from your time together.

TO PLAY

Free jigsaw puzzles! For adults and kids. And although I miss the hands-on feel of the puzzle, if you’re desperate, this is pretty good. Make sure to go to Full Screen mode. Makes a world of difference.

Make your own board game! Why just spend time PLAYING when you can ALSO spend time MAKING your game? There are some easy ones like “Can’t Stop” which are great for kids and adults alike. Or how about Otrio? It’s tic-tac-toe but more fun. Just google the game and make your own board and pieces. You can play it on the floor, on a table, or in the yard.

For more ideas, check out Part 2 here.

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