#“may all the beauty be blessed” yes. keep talking

[byfulcrums]

i think that if the honkai global servers got shut down like ggz's i'd actually just kms. or someone else. either way, death is on the table

[borathae]

If I Was Your Boyfriend

"If he was your boyfriend, he would give you the actual world. Sadly he is just your best friend with the biggest unrequited crush ever."

Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader

Genre: Unrequited Crush!AU, Idiots in Love!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU, Slice of Life, Fluff, Romance

Warnings: OC is scared of a bug (me fr), he kills it for her, he would do anything for her, yearning, unrequited feelings (? mhhm ?), listen. he may be a lil bit dense when it comes to reading signs jsjjss bless his heart, i need him as my boyfriend, so much tension between them, jsjsjs this is pure torture i want them to kiss!!, brief mention of adult toys, miscommunication because he suuucks at love confessions, protective & slightly jealous!Kook, he is the greenest flag though like seriously, the happiest end hihi, the inspo was seven mv kook, she is shorter than him because i have the hugest size kink with him and this is so self-indulgent <3, once again i need him as my boyfie

Wordcount: 10.5k

a/n: sometimes i have ideas for one specific trope without wanting to write the whole book lmaooo, so enjoy this lil slow burn fluff scenario which is so self-indulgent and fanfiction coded. also, it was inspired by a real life event where i found a bug in my bed and i had to kill it on my own :( i was being very brave about it 😔 ps: this is very unrealistic 'cause like why would you only be best friends with HIM? that wouldn't be an unrequited crush if that was me. happy birthday to kookie 💛

The call comes around two at night. Jungkook picks up with the first ring. He was working out before that.

“Hello? Are you okay?” he asks, resting his head against the edge of the sofa as he is currently sitting on the floor. He was doing sit ups before that, trying his hardest to regulate his sped-up breathing right now.

“Kook, please help me.”

Jungkook sits up straight.

“Where are you? Are you safe?”

“I don’t know. I think it’s following me. I locked it inside my room but I can still hear it.”

“Stay with me, I’m getting dressed”, he says, jumping to his feet to hurry to his front door.

“Please hurry please. I’m so scared.”

“I’m coming, don’t worry. Are you home?”

“Yes. Hurry please.”

“I’m coming, stay strong. Yeah?”

“Yes, thank you”, you say and end the call.

Jungkook curses, shoving the phone into his pants pocket. He puts on his jacket as he runs down the hallway and puts on his beanie once he is inside the elevator. He is restless in the small space, wishing for it to go quicker. It’s too slow.

“Come on, come on”, he stresses it, knowing that it is fruitless.

You are his best friend. Well, at least that is what you would call him. Best friend. Jungkook sees so much more in you. His best friend, his person of trust, his crush. He would never tell you his feelings because he doesn’t want to make it awkward. But if there were no consequences for speaking up, Jungkook would tell you that you are his dream girl. You are funny, sweet, caring, talented, intelligent, wonderful, perfect, amazing, beautiful, pretty, stunning. Yes, Jungkook thinks that you are all of these things and more. When he is close to you, his heart races and he wants to keep looking at your face. When you are sad, he wants to make you happy again and when you smile, he wants to keep it on your face. When you aren’t with him, he misses you and when you are with him, he hopes that time stops passing. You are the person he updates on the most mundane of things and whose text messages always bring a quick flutter to his chest. Your voice is the voice he could listen to for hours and your face is the face he doesn’t get tired of staring at when you and he video chat late night till you and he both run out of things to say. And at the same time, you are the person with whom Jungkook never runs out of things to talk about, if he didn’t have to breathe, he would continue to babble to you until your ears wore off. Jungkook swears that if there were no consequences for his words, he would tell you all of this. 

But alas, there are consequences and so Jungkook is left keeping his true feelings hidden.

The outcome of tonight’s phone call obviously wouldn’t have changed whether or not he had romantic feelings for you. Jungkook loves you as a friend as well. And he will always be there for his friends. Especially when they are clearly scared by something.

Jungkook rings your bell. You open the door as if you were waiting for him, grabbing him by his wrists to drag him inside. Jungkook’s entire body flutters at the feeling of your touch. 

“Finally you are here. Come in quick, please”, you tell him.

You must have been sleeping already. You are in your pyjamas and have no make-up on. Jungkook swears that you have never looked more beautiful before. 

“What happened? Did someone break in?” he asks instead of telling you that you are beautiful.

“Worse.”

“Worse?”

“Kook, there is a huge bug in my room. Please kill it.”

Jungkook stops in his tracks. You call him over for that? You stop when you feel his strength all of a sudden, looking over your shoulder. He has his right brow cocked up.

“What?” you stress.

“You give me a heart attack for that?”

“What? Of course. It’s a bug.”

Jungkook sighs in annoyance, “seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.” You round him to shove him by his back. “Kill it for me, please Kook.”

“Fine, I’ll kill it”, he gives up and groans, letting you shove him to your bedroom. Jungkook would never dare to think this way, but right now he wished that you were shoving him to your room for something else. Nothing dirty of course, just cuddles. Lots of cuddles. He would literally trade both his kidneys so he could hold you in his arms until you fall asleep just once. He would make sure that you were warm and that you felt safe in his embrace. He would kiss your face and tell you sweet nothings like how he thinks of you when he listens to love songs and how he wishes that it was you and he whenever he sees a romantic scene in a movie.

God, Jungkook is so done for. 

“Where is this stupid bug?” he acts annoyed to make the yearning a little easier. It is difficult when you have your hands on his back and they are so, so warm.

“In there.” You open the door carefully and look around. “Follow me”, you say, tiptoeing into your room.

Jungkook follows you, smiling fondly. You are cute when you are acting like this. 

“Where is it?” he asks, trying his hardest not to think about how he wants to snuggle you for being cute.

“I don’t know. It was right there when I last saw it.”

“Maybe it’s already gone.”

“No, it was-” 

The bug flies past you, you scream instantly, jumping at Jungkook for help.

“The bug! Eeeek Kooook! I hate bugs!” you squeak, hiding away in his chest.

Jungkook hopes that you can’t feel his racing pulse, because it is racing. You never touched him like this before, let alone snuggled so close to him. 

Act cool. Act cool. Act cool. 

He wraps one arm around you, patting the back of your head. 

“There, there you big baby”, he teases.

“I hate bugs so much”, you whine, snuggling closer.

He glances down at you, feeling every beat his heart takes.

Act cool! Act cool! Act cool!

What if he wrapped both arms around you? Would that go too far? He wouldn’t mean anything dirty behind it, he just really wants to hug you and feel you melt in his arms.

“Kill it, Kook please”, you whine and move your head so you were looking up at him. Your eyes lock.

Jungkook bites down on his tongue, forgetting to breathe for just a few moments.

ACT COOL! ACT COOL! ACT COOL!

What if he cupped your face right here and now to kiss your nose and cheeks and forehead and chin and lips and eyes? What if he did that?

“Please kill it.”

“I am, you gotta let go for that”, he gets out, surprised at how normal his voice sounds eventhough he is currently losing his mind.

Please don’t let go. Please don’t let go. 

You let go. Disappointment from his side. You hide behind him and grab his waist for moral support. Butterflies in his tummy, his knees buckle a little. Holy moly. Holy moly. Wow. Oh wow oh wow oh wow. 

“You’re seriously so brave for this”, you tell him.

“Yeah, yeah or maybe you’re just a scaredy cat.”

He has no idea how he is able to talk properly right now when you have him literally messed up. 

Jungkook inches close to where the bug is sitting on the wall while his thoughts and heart are racing. He has to act nonchalant about the situation. You are only holding him like this because you are scared.

“Do you have a shoe?” he asks you, hating his hand for shaking when he presents it to you.

You bend down and take off your right slipper, “will this do?” 

“Perfect.” 

Jungkook takes the slipper and carefully moves closer to the bug. Your fingers tighten on his waist.

“Careful now”, you comment.

“I am” he gets out, concentrating vigorously. He can’t mess up now, you are counting on him. 

“Almost there. Almost there”, you cheer him on.

Jungkook slams the shoe down. The bug has no chance of escape. You scream.

“Gotcha.”

“Did you get it? Is it dead? Kook, is it dead?”

Jungkook lifts the slipper and looks at the squished bug on its sole. He shows it to you.

“Dead.”

“Yay, it’s dead. Ew how nasty, you can see the intestines.”

“Right. Give me a minute, I’m cleaning it.”

“Use acid for it. Just to be sure it doesn’t come back.

He chuckles, “sure, I’ll use acid.”

He leaves you in your bedroom to hurry to the bathroom. 

Your apartment is familiar to him. He spends a lot of time here. Mostly to chill on your couch and watch shows with you. Sometimes you also cook dinner together and then eat it by the table, while other times you do a workout together. Seriously, you are his fucking dream girl. 

One time as you and he were cooking together, he needed something from the shelf above you, but you couldn’t step away from the stove. So he got it while you were right in front of him and his chest brushed against your back and he swears that he heard your breath hitch for a moment. Jungkook wanted to hug you back then. When you later that evening turned to let him taste the cooking only to use the same fork to taste it yourself, Jungkook almost kissed you. 

One time when you were watching a show, you got cold hands and Jungkook offered to warm them for you. He didn’t think you would accept, but you did and so he ended up with your cold hands under his hoodie as you warmed them up on his skin. Jungkook swears that he wanted to pin you against the sofa and kiss your cute face back then.

One time when you were doing a workout together, you struggled with a movement and asked him for help. He ended up having to hold you by your hips as he guided you through the movement. He wanted to flip you and kiss you senseless back then. 

He never felt like this before. He was scared of these feelings at first, but now he can’t get enough. You are a foodie, a romance lover and a lover for couple workouts and it’s so impossible for him not to be in love. You are seriously his dream girl. There is no fucking way around this.

Jungkook knows that tonight will be such a memory as well. the kind of memory which tingles, but which also makes him regret that he didn’t act differently. When you cuddled into him, he wanted to hug you properly. When you grabbed his waist he wanted to turn in your grasp and kiss you against the door. But he knows that he can’t. He would ruin what you are having and he could never get over this heartbreak.

Jungkook looks at your toothbrush as he cleans the shoe. Sometimes he thinks about how it would feel to be represented in your bathroom as the second toothbrush right next to yours.  

Jungkook bites down on his tongue, burning holes into the empty space next to your toothbrush. He would put so much effort into taking care of himself so you could always look at the best version of him. He would do skincare nights with you. He would try out hair masks with you and rub body lotion on the spots you can’t reach. He would brush his teeth, floss them and use mouthwash religiously just so his kisses would always taste good. He would do all of this if it meant you had an attractive boyfriend.

Jungkook looks away. He is doing it again, he is getting delusional. He shouldn’t do that. It isn’t his right. 

He turns off the water and leaves the bathroom so he could return the slipper to you.

You are in the kitchen, looking at him instantly.

��Is it gone?” you ask him.

“Yup, it’s gone. Your slipper.”

“Thank you seriously. You just saved my life”, you say and lift a bottle of his favorite beer. “Thank You Beer?”

He shakes his head, “I need to drive.”

“Okay. Then a Thank You Water?”

“Yeah, I can drink that.”

Jungkook accepts the offer because he can stay with you longer that way.

“Coming right up. Get comfy in the meantime.”

Jungkook waits on the sofa, but stands up when you come inside the room. He accepts the water and sits back down. You plop down right in front of him, pulling your legs onto the pillow. Your knees are almost touching the side of thigh.

“You seriously saved my ass tonight. I was already in bed when I felt something tickle my arm and then I turned on the lights and it was right on my arm. I screamed so loud, you have no idea.”

“That sounds traumatic.”

“It was traumatic.” You shudder. “I hate bugs.”

Jungkook laughs softly.

“What? Are you laughing at me?”

“No, just laughing ‘cause I agree. You really hate bugs.”

“I do. Awful things, seriously.”

He laughs and you laugh as well. Your eyes meet again. He takes a sip of his water then asks a question which scares him a little.

“Why did you call me?”

“Why not?”

“I, I mean”, he stutters, feeling his heart do somersaults.

“You were my first thought. It’s probably because you’re always keeping me safe.”

Jungkook swears he wants to kiss you right now. He is the first person you think of when you need help. He is your safe person. Wow, wow, wow.

“Is that weird to say?” you ask him shyly.

“Not at all”, he gets out in a terribly hoarse voice.

“Okay phew. I knew that I could count on you.”

Jungkook gives you a smile. One you retort with a vast glance at his lips.

Jungkook brings the empty glass to the kitchen to clean it after he finishes it. You follow him. 

“You don’t have to clean that”, you tell him, trying to reach for the glass but he moves it away.

“I got it”, he assures you, looking at you over his arm.

You and he are so close again. He can’t stop looking into your eyes. He knows that he is delusional, but in his mind, your eyes are so bright when you look at him. But it’s not real and he is acting stupid when he is staring like that. He turns his head away, blind to the few more seconds your eyes seem to linger on his face.

“What were you doing when I called you?” you ask him, watching his hands as he washes the glass.

“Working out.”

“Really? At this time?”

“That’s when I get energised.”

“Of course you do. What were you doing?”

“Just stuff on the floor.”

“Nice. Like push ups and stuff?”

“Yeah and sit ups.”

“That’s cool.” 

He has his back turned to you, putting away the glass. He is wearing a white oversized shirt, but the movement makes it stick to his body, showing not only his skinny waist but also his built, muscular back. His shoulders grew so much over the past seven months. (Seven months ago was when you decided to download a dating app and told Jungkook about it. Jungkook started working out harder since then.) 

He closes the cupboard and turns. 

“Something wrong?” he asks, somehow oblivious to your stares. 

“Nothing, no uhm.” You look to the side. “You probably wanna leave now?”

He doesn’t want to leave.

“If you still need me here, I can stay”, he offers.

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.

“Really?”

He nods his head, giving you a sweet smile with teeth. He would do anything for you, even mess up his sleep schedule.

“Maybe there is another bug, you know?” you say, playing with your own fingers shyly.

His heart is jumping in joy. He can stay longer. 

“That could be possible, yeah. Should we check?” he offers as calmly as possible.

“Yeah, please.”

Yay! Yay! Yay!

“I know I sound so stupid.”

“You don’t. Come on, I’ll check.”

You and he go to your bedroom together. Jungkook wants to hold your hand, but knows that he can’t. You close the door to your bedroom. His pulse flutters for a moment. In another lifetime, this would be the moment you pull him into a kiss. But Jungkook knows that stupid things like different lifetimes are stuff of movies, not reality.

He has to act as your best friend who doesn’t have a crush on you if he wanted to or not. He lifts your blanket and shakes it out.

“No bugs”, he comments.

“That’s good, yeah. I should probably check the pillows.”

You crawl onto bed and make it your job to flip each individual pillow. Jungkook looks at you for a moment. He hates that things like different lifetimes are stuff of movies. Because in a different lifetime, he jumps onto bed with you to hug you. He listens to your giggle and makes you giggle even harder by tickling your sides.

You, oblivious to his longing stares, flip yet another pillow. 

“No bugs here, thank god. I probably sound insane to you, but I’m actually so scared that there’s a whole bug family in this room.”

“You don’t sound insane. I’ll take care of them if we find them.”

“You’re seriously my hero.”

Jungkook is thinking. Maybe he could still make you laugh, he thinks. Not by showering you in skinship, but differently. 

“Hey, check this out”, he says.

“What? Did you find another bug?!” you gasp, whipping around instantly.

“I’m a bug. Bzzz”, he says and jumps onto bed, flapping his arms as if he was a bug flying.

You cough out air, following it up with a loud laugh.

Jungkook flops onto his back and wiggles his limps.

“Now I’m flipped onto my back and can’t get up”, he says, squirming from side to side stupidly. “Help me. Bzzzz.”

You laugh to the point it becomes just a little ugly and way too loud. At least you would call it that. Jungkook calls it the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. He loves to be goofy when it means that he can make you laugh. Some people call him childish and tell him to act his age, but Jungkook doesn’t care about these people because you love the way he is. You always smile and laugh so much when he gets goofy and childish and it is so worth every rude comment he gets. One time, he played around with a snapback hat, acting silly with it until you cackled loudly. Another time he showed you a card trick with goofy sound effects, basking in the giggles you gave him. He knows that he looks stupid in these moments, but he would literally turn into a silly jester if it meant that you could laugh just one more time.

“Help me, I’m a bug and I can’t get up”, he whines dramatically.

“Wait, I’ll help you”, you joke and place your hands on his torso. One on his chest, the other on his stomach.

He tenses up like a board of wood, forgetting all about being silly. His limbs drop, as does his heart. You are touching him! This never happened before when he acted goofy. What should he do? What is the correct reaction to this?

“Why are you such a heavy bug? I can’t flip you”, you are still being playful with him, but Jungkook can’t find humour anymore. He is starstruck. 

He chuckles deeply, letting out a breathy, “yeah.” 

You glance at him. The second your eyes meet, his heart is racing. You are so fucking beautiful. 

“Heh”, he lets out and places his hand over yours, eyes flitting to your lips unknowingly.

“Hm”, you let out, studying his gazing eyes. Your lips feel kissed just from his look. 

“Mhm”, he hums and smiles, shimmying his head just a little closer to you. He feels your minty breath swirl over his face like this, squeezing your hand in reaction. What if he just did it? What if he just kissed you right here and now?

Your smile falls.

“Sorry”, you whisper, pulling your hands back and sitting up. 

Jungkook gasps for air, coming back to reality. What was this moment? Is he going crazy? Why would he do that?

Your eyes meet for a brief second then you look away again, rubbing the side of your neck.

Jungkook sits up, “I should, uhm, probably check under the bed too, right?” he tries to change topics and rolls over to stick his head under the bed. He might die of heart palpitations.

There are a few boxes under the bed, some shoe boxes and an exposed adult toy. Jungkook does a double take. Oh god, panic.

Jungkook shoots back up, staring at you with big eyes.

“What?”

“You uhm…”

“What?” You crawl to the edge and bend down to look, shooting up again within a second, “What did you see??”

His entire face flushes, he looks to the side instantly, right hand coming to rub the side of his neck. Your entire face feels on fire, you want to die on the spot.

“I, I didn’t see anything I swear”, he stutters.

“Kook, please don’t remember this”, you insist, shaking him by his shoulders.

“It’s seriously fine”, he assures you, panicking so so much.

“This is so embarrassing.”

“No, it’s okay. Sorry for invading your space like that.”

“I’m actually gonna cry, please don’t remember this”, you beg him.

“I didn’t even see anything”, he lies, feeling his heart give up. For real, it will give up. He feels so guilty. You are so upset and uncomfortable and it’s all his fault. “I’m sorry.”

“No you, I guess, I don’t know, I just”, you stutter, unable to form any coherent sentences.

Jungkook feels just as awkward as you, suddenly needing to stand up.

“I think I should go”, he says.

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s getting late.”

“Oh, yeah. Totally.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. You fucked it. You are internally panicking, blind to the fact that Jungkook is panicking as well.

His face is so red and it’s making him scared that you can see it. He doesn’t want you to think that he is imagining you like that, because he really isn’t. But for just a second it crossed his mind and it managed to dye his face so red that he feels like crying. Of course he wants to stay with you. Of course he wants to spend every single second of this night with you, talking and laughing and looking at you, but he might not be able to get rid of this blush right now. He needs to leave.

You follow behind him, panicking more and more. You let him put on his shoes and his beanie, you watch him close his jacket unable to say anything. You swear that you always clean up after yourself, but you were busy this morning and forgot to put it away after sanitizing it. Jungkook was never supposed to see it. Not him. Everyone but him.

“I’ll text you once I’m home”, Jungkook tells you.

“You’re not disgusted now, are you?” you finally get the scary words out.

“What?”

You are both dragging out the inevitable. 

“I don’t know, just…I tried the dating app stuff. I met people, you know?”

Jungkook feels like dying when you talk about this stuff. He stands in the apartment complex hallways, looking at you as you tell him about your hook ups and he wants to fucking die as he does. He has been loyal to you ever since he started this stupid crush on you. Of course he knows that it is impossible of him to expect the same from you. But he has been so fucking loyal to you that you literally broke his heart seven months ago when you told him about your newest download. He wasn’t strong enough to get over his crush, so now he dies all over again each time you tell him about your hook-ups.

“And it just felt weird. I couldn’t do it”, you confess.

“Really?” suddenly what happened before is wiped from his mind. You never went through with it? His loyalty was reciprocated? Jungkook knows that he is being so delusional right now and yet he still hangs on to your every word like a worshipper of your syllables, staring at your lips as you talk.

“Yeah, but I still have needs, you know? Oh god, why did I say that? This didn’t make it better. Just forget I ever said anything.”

“I, I didn’t hear anything”, Jungkook stutters, feeling weak-kneed. The wall between him being a good person and a reckless person is as fragile as a sheet of fresh ice. One wrong step from you and he might actually confess how he really feels.

“Okay good, let’s keep it at that.” You push at his chest. Jungkook swears he actually whimpers as you do it. “Go home and let us forget about all of this, please.”

Should he do it? Should he be reckless?

You step back, now standing in your apartment.

Do it! Open, mouth!

“Text me once you’re home, okay?”

“Okay.”

No! This isn’t the right thing to say! Be reckless!

“Thank you for tonight, sleep tight.”

“Sweet dreams.”

Tell her! Fucking tell her!

The door closes.

Jungkook falls out of his fearful trance, gasping for air. His heart tells him to knock for another chance, his mind tells him not to. He turns and leaves, hitting his own head as punishment for being the most stupid person that ever existed. Tonight could have gone so well. He could have had more time with you, he got the confirmation that you never tried the dating app thing, he had everything and he has to ruin it by being a creep. Why did he look under your bed? That’s where most people store their sexy stuff. Why did he have to make you uncomfortable? What if you never want to see him again? What if he ruined your friendship without ever doing the one thing he always wished to ruin it with? In his dreams he always ruined it by confessing his feelings, but his reality was because he was a creep.

Jungkook cries in his car on his way home. He forgets about texting you and spends a sleepless night regretting his choices.

Maybe he did fall asleep, otherwise it would be impossible for his phone to rip him awake the next day. He barely opens his puffy eyes at first, but opens them widely when he sees that it is you calling him.

“Hello?” he picks up hastily.

“Oh thank god. You didn’t text me last night and I was worried.”

The text! Jungkook slaps his own forehead, sitting up straight.

“I’m so sorry, I…”

“It’s okay, I already had a gist that you forgot”, you assure him, “do you have time?” 

“Of course, what’s up?”

“You know, uhm.” You laugh in embarrassment. “Last night was a mess, wasn’t it?”

“No uhm, it’s fine.”

“You wouldn’t be down for a grocery trip with barbeque and beer afterwards, would you? My treat, as an apology for traumatising you.”

“Of course, I would. Today?”

“Yes, in like two hours? I’ll get off work soon and could go straight to the store.”

You and Jungkook often go grocery shopping together. You already have a favourite store to go to. Jungkook loves these moments. He loves to carry the heavy bags for you and get the stuff you can’t reach. He loves to push the cart while you tell him about your day and then load the groceries into the bags with you. In another lifetime, you and he push the cart together and he steals kisses between aisles. In another lifetime, he holds your hand and the bags in the other. And in another lifetime, you and he go to your apartment to cook dinner for date night on the couch. Jungkook really wishes to live a different life sometimes.

“Two hours sounds great”, he agrees in a cool voice even if he wants to squeal. He gets to go grocery shopping with you! How amazing!

“Nice, then we’ll see each other there.”

“Yes, we’ll see each other. I’m really excited for it.”

“Me too. See you later, yeah? My boss is coming back.”

“See you later. Good luck at work.” 

“Thanks, Kook. Bye bye.”

Goodbye, my everything, my dream girl, my love. He thinks.

“Bye.” He says.

The phone call ends. Jungkook drops back into the pillow and lets out a yelp of celebration, following it up with excessive kicking and punching of the air as well as  squeaky giggles. 

He didn’t ruin everything and he will see you in two hours. Today is the best day of his life! But wait! Jungkook gasps and jumps out of bed.

“I need to get ready! Shower and wash my hair and pick an outfit! And do my skincare and brush my teeth! There is so much to do, oh god” he talks to himself, running through his apartment.

You are pacing in front of the store. Jungkook isn’t late, you are just early. Early enough to become painfully aware of your nervousness. You wonder how it will be between the two of you after last night. You could barely fall asleep because you were so embarrassed. Work didn’t distract you either, your thoughts kept repeating what had happened last night. You hope that he doesn’t look at you differently after what he had to see. It would literally ruin you.

Jungkook is your best friend. But if someone asked you honestly, you would say that he is the boy of your dreams. He is everything you ever dreamed of and everything you will never be able to have. He is too perfect for you. If there were no consequences for your actions, you would tell him how you really feel. You would tell him that you think that he is the most attractive man and person you have ever seen, that he is the kindest soul with the sweetest heart. That he is talented and amazing and the funniest person ever. And that you feel safe with him. 

You would tell him that every time he comes to your place or you to his’ and you spend time together, you wish that it was a date instead. You want to tell him that every time your bodies touch, your heart jumps out of your chest. You want to tell him that you keep repeating all the moments with him over and over again and that sometimes at work, you text him because you can’t stop thinking about him. You also want to tell him that you thought about killing the bug yourself before deciding to call Jungkook just to have him close.

And the worst of it all? You want to tell Jungkook that the only reason why you downloaded the dating app was to get over your feelings for him because you knew that someone as perfect as Jungkook would never want to have you. But actions have consequences and so you call him your best friend whilst secretly wishing for him to just be reckless and kiss you.

Jungkook appears on the horizon, swerving through the crowd in a stoic expression. Your heart speeds up instantly. He is wearing black pants with a stripped shirt and a black jacket today. His hair falls on soft waves, his skin glows in the sun. He is so dreamy and handsome. 

His eyes find you in front of the store, his face lights up and he lifts his arm to wave at you. You wave back, bouncing on your tiptoes. He saw you! He is waving at you! 

He hurries through the crowd faster than before, reaching you within moments.

“Hey there”, he says.

“Hey”, you tell him and give him a hug. 

Jungkook short circuits. He gets no time to react before you already step back again. You just hugged him. Holy moly, wow. 

“Sorry, was that not okay?” you ask, studying his frozen features.

“What?” He flinches back to life. “No, it was amazing, I mean, it was okay. I uhm, I have this for you.”

He lifts a bouquet of sunflowers.

“Sunflowers? For me?”

“Yeah, I saw them and thought of you.”

“You did?”

You accept them with shortened breath and a quickened heart. You are currently screeching inside. You feel on cloud nine.

“A-as a best friend of course, because we’re best friends.”

“Oh. Yes.” You clear your throat. “We are. Thank you for the friendship flowers. I’ll put them in water once I’m home. Hopefully they’ll survive till then.” 

“I’m sure they will. That’s why I put the paper towel there.”

“I know, I saw. That’s so clever.”

“Yeah, thanks.” He does a little twirl so he stands next to you, hands stuffed into the pockets of his pants in a cute way. “So what do we need? Any particular groceries in mind?” 

You and he start walking to the store. He opens the door for you, holding it until you are inside. He follows and goes straight for the carts. You are next to him.

“Yes, I’m out of multigrain rice so I’m buying all of them to make my mixture again and I wanna stock up on udon because they have a sale going on.”

“Neat, a sale. I’ll get some too”, Jungkook says, leaning his elbows on the cart as he pushes it. “I wanna see if they have the lychees again. They were so yummy last time.”

“They were. Especially with that sauce you made.”

“I can make them for you again.”

“Really?” 

He nods his head, “sure, you could come over Saturday and we’ll watch a movie. I heard that there’s a few new movies to stream.”

“I should be free on Saturday.”

“Nice, then you’ll come over.”

You and he exchange a look, breaking it quickly to look at opposite sides. Unbeknownst to either, you are both panicking. Jungkook is so excited to have you come over but is also terribly nervous about the aspect of it. You can’t wait to visit Jungkook but are also scared of the yearning. 

A moment of silence where you each fill the cart with stuff you want. You and Jungkook always fill up the cart together and then separate the groceries afterwards. In another lifetime, you don’t need to separate the groceries. In another lifetime, you share the same bag and fill the same fridge to cook from the same pots and eat on your shared couch whilst a show was running. 

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks because other lifetimes don’t exist and in his real life, the only shared thing he gets with you is time.

“It was okay. Yours?”

“I woke up like two hours ago.”

You chuckle, “of course you sleep while I have to work my ass off.”

“Hey, I’m on a well-deserved break, I earned the night owl lifestyle”, he throws back, making you laugh with it.

“I’m not saying anything against it. I need a break soon.”

“Is work stressful?”

“Yeah, quite. There’s been lots of new projects coming in.”

“No, I’m sorry. If there is something I can do, let me know.”

You look at him. 

“I will, thank you.”

In another lifetime, you would hug his arm and rest your head against it and you would tell him that you don’t mind a stressful workday when it meant spending time with him afterwards. 

Jungkook meets your eyes. His heart flutters nervously, speeding up more when you look away. If he was your boyfriend, he would hold your hand and tell you that you looked beautiful after a long work day. 

“I like the way you did your hair today”, he says instinctively. He has no idea why he said that because he never says stuff like that to you. He panics because of it. His tongue worked quicker than his brain. 

You reach up to feel your hair, “you do?”

“Yes, it fits you really well.” 

“Thank you”, you murmur and cross a corner without warning, leaving him alone for a few seconds.

Jungkook follows after you hastily, confused as to why you so abruptly fled. Oh no. He went too far with the compliment. He definitely creeped you out again. 

You are squatting down in front of the grain section, reading the labels carefully. Jungkook parks the cart next to you, standing still. He tries not to, but still looks at you. You shift your eyes to him, widen them and look away again. Jungkook swears he might cry. He made you uncomfortable. 

“I’m sorry for saying that. I, I meant it as a friend.”

“Hm? Ah, it’s okay. Thank you for saying it, I liked it”, you say and stand up, filling the cart with the grain. Jungkook’s heart flutters happily. He didn’t mess up. Yay!

“Got everything you wanted?” he asks.

“Yep, except black rice. Do you see it somewhere?”

“Up there”, Jungkook says, pointing at it. The lower racks are empty, only the racks which are clearly for staff to reach so they could refill the store are stacked with the rice. 

“Nice.” You try to reach it, but fail. “Kook, can you get it?”

“Sure, let me”, he says, stepping right behind you to get the rice from the staff rack. His chest brushes against your back. You gasp. He feels dizzy, but acts nonchalant.

“There we go your….rice”, Jungkook says, eyes flitting down to you looking up at him. He didn’t even realise that you turned. 

There is almost no distance and so Jungkook tries to step back to be respectful because friends don’t stand this close. You grab him by his jacket, making him gulp and panic greatly. His left hand grabs the edge of the shelf, his chest lifts in a deep gasp. You are taller today because of the shoes you are wearing. The shortened distance between your lips is making him dizzy.

“About last night”, you begin, but he interrupts you before you apologise for something you have no reason to.

“It’s alright. I shouldn’t have snooped, I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t snoop, I just…I clean up, I was just busy and forgot and I”, you exhales deeply, “I’m not making it any better talking by about it, am I?”

He laughs softly and reaches down to cup your hand, caressing your knuckles softly. The lines blur more and more. You both feel weightless. You can smell his cologne like this, he can smell your perfume. It’s like you are high on each other.

“If it makes you feel any better, I have some toys too”, he says, making your eyes widen. You look to the side and let out a giggle. Jungkook knows that it is of shy nature and so he giggles with you. “Did that help or did I just embarrass myself for nothing?”

“No, it helped.” You meet his eyes, fingers squeezing his jacket. 

Jungkook holds his breath, fingers tightening on the shelf. He is being so greedy. It’s so unfair to you. 

“I, uhm.” He clears his throat and slips his hand from the shelf to present the rice to you. “Your rice.”

“Oh? Thanks, uhm, put it in the cart.” 

He steps back. Your hands slip from his jacket, his fingers stop holding you. They tingle in the memory of how it was to cradle you this way. His thoughts are racing, trying to calculate the weight of his confession. If he confessed, what would he lose? Your friendship, your time, the movie hangouts, the cooking together, the shared workouts, your texts and calls and video chats. All your laughter and smiles and giggles. Jungkook gulps. The loss is too great. He can’t confess. Nope, never. 

He grips the cart and pushes it, hoping that walking it off will help with the heart palpitations. You walk next to him, resting your hand on the metal cage part of the cart.

“Did you sleep well last night?” he asks you.

“Can I be honest? Not really. I was so embarrassed.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m just awkward.”

He chuckles, you chuckle with him. You give him a glance.

“I think I don’t have to ask you if you slept well at night because you never sleep at night.”

He laughs, you do as well.

“That’s not true. I can sleep at night too, I simply choose not to. Oh wait. I need buckwheat noodles.”

You and he stop in front of the section. You stay by the cart while Jungkook browses the options. 

“Should I make you makguksu?” he offers mindlessly.

“Today?”

“Yeah.”

“So you don’t wanna go for barbecue and beer?” You chuckle and nudge his arm, sending tingles all over his skin. “Did you already forget again, you doofus?”

“I might have.” He gives you a sorry, cute smile.

Jungkook makes you laugh with it.

“Kook, you little scatterbrain you”, you chuckle, leaning into him. 

Jungkook leans closer, placing his arm around your waist without touching you. In another lifetime, he would close the last distance. But not in reality. He looks at your lips, asking himself why you seek him out today and why he takes the chances so greedily. He shouldn’t do that. You are just friends, nothing more.

“Uh, sorry”, you say and step away again. 

Jungkook gulps, gasps for air. He doesn’t understand what today means, but whatever you are doing is actually messing with him. He hasn’t been able to breathe properly ever since that hug you gave him. You seem so clingy, but he doesn’t understand why. 

You grab the cart and push it.

“I think I have everything I need. You?”

“Yeah, yeah sure”, Jungkook stutters, stumbling after you like a lovesick puppy. He doesn’t know where to put his hands and so he ends up stuffing them into his pants pockets while his eyes are glued to the back of your head. He is seriously under your spell. Every part of him.

You load the groceries on the conveyor belt together and then load them into separate bags. You pay for all of them and wish the cashier a good day. Jungkook carries the bags like always, while you are allowed to walk freely with the bouquet of flowers cradled in your arms.

“I’ll pay you back at home”, he says, swerving outside as you hold the door open for him.

“Today’s on me. As a thank you for yesterday and an apology.”

“What? But I bought so much”, Jungkook gasps, pouting sadly.

“It’s fine. I have money.”

“But-”

“No buts. I’m paying.”

Jungkook pouts, huffing out air in defeat.

“Fine, but I’ll pay for your stuff too one day.”

You chuckle, “deal.” 

You and he walk together.

“You should really start accepting when I offer. It’s not a competition.”

“I just feel uncomfortable making you pay.”

“Why?”

Because you’re his dream girl and you should never have to pay for him. He should be your wallet whenever you are out together, he should fulfil your every wish. 

“I don’t know, just so. You work so hard for your money.”

“You work just as hard”, you say and chuckle. “Kook, you’re so competitive.”

Jungkook smiles, shaking his head in defeat. 

“I guess am.”

You grin, hugging the flowers tighter. With a little skip in your steps, you close the distance. Just enough that one small movement would be enough for your arms to brush. 

Jungkook glances at you. You are gazing at the flowers, smiling so brightly that your nose scrunches up. He could swear that your eyes are sparkling. 

The lines blur again. He wonders if it would be okay for him to be a bad person, if he was allowed to slip his hand into yours even if you never gave him consent for it. There is not much he can still take.

You lower your nose into the flowers and smell them, closing your eyes in a happy squint. The metaphorical glass of how much Jungkook can take floats over.

He says your name and knows that the next words are coming out of him before he can think them through.

“Yeah?” You look at him.

He is nervous and scared, but still talks, “can we talk about something?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

Panic. His situation finally sunk into his consciousness. 

“I uhm…uh…I have a crush on someone.”

Microexpressions wash over your face. Shock, surprise, disbelief, jealousy, hurt, friendliness. A smile curls your lips. It doesn’t reach your eyes.

“Yeah? It’s about time you do”, the words and your voice carry a hint of teasing, but most of all forced friendliness.

You lower the flowers, carrying them in one hand by your side. They look sad like this. Jungkook doesn’t notice because he is staring at the road in front of him because otherwise he would pass out in nervousness. He is almost twenty seven, but feels sixteen again.

“She’s like really, really great and awesome and amazing and wonderful and so kind and perfect”, Jungkook continues, heart racing to the point he feels dizzy. He saw this kind of confession in movies. He always thought that it was so cute when the guy did it. It isn’t obvious enough to ruin everything just in case you didn’t feel the same, but it is still cute enough that you can’t help but be giddy.

“Mh-hm”, you hum, nodding your head. 

“And I keep thinking about her. She is so pretty when she laughs and I love being in her presence. She likes my jokes and she always makes me laugh in return. Yeah…”

“That’s great.”

“Yeah, she is so great. I really wanna ask if she feels the same.” Jungkook falters in nervousness. He is going to ask the question. He is so scared. “If you were me, what would you do?”

You take a deep breath and release it loudly, “I don’t know. I haven’t had a crush in so long.”

Jungkook falters, heart tightening. Oh no. Oh no, oh no. Oh. This is bad. This is really bad. 

“Ah, I see.” He gulps.

“But let me know if you figure it out. Then we can go on a double date.” 

Wait. Wait. This is bad. Double date? This is so bad.

“What do you mean?” he asks weakly.

“You know, you and your girl and me and my boy.”

“You have a boy?”

“Yeah, soon. I’m talking to this boy on the dating app. He is very cute.”

“But…didn’t you say that you gave up on the app?”

“No uh…no, it’s just that I only talk to this one boy now.”

Jungkook bites back tears.

“I see.” 

“Mhm, yeah. Let’s go on a double date.”

No. No this is all wrong. No this isn’t what was meant to happen. No. 

“Please.”

Jungkook doesn’t even realize that he begged out loud until you look at him in question.

“Please what?”

You and he stop. Strangers stream past you like you and he were two rocks in a river. You are facing each other, so close yet so far away. 

You lied to him. There is no other boy. There never was and never will be. But there will always be other girls for him while you stay his best friend. Lying is all that you have at this point. 

“Please what?” you repeat the question.

“I…” Jungkook breathes. “I…nevermind.”

Silence. Your eyes are locked so deeply that the world around you is blurry.

“Okay?”

“Mhm yeah.”

His jaw tightens and he breaks the eye contact, looking to the side with his tongue in his cheek. He seemed angry. You would be lying if you said that you weren’t feeling angry yourself. You turn away from him and continue walking. You don’t want to be next to him right now. It hurts to only stay his best friend.

He looks at the back of your head and how it becomes smaller and smaller from distance. He doesn’t understand you. He thought that the way you looked at him in the store meant something. And yet all this time you had another boy. He feels so betrayed that for just a second, he considers walking the other direction and leaving you to wonder where he went. However, two things hold him back; his competitiveness and his honest feelings for you.

He won’t stay your best friend any longer. He just decided that. He is going to fight for you, make you fall for him and forget all about the stupid boys you meet on this stupid dating app. He is better than any of them. He could treat you better, make you laugh harder, give you better hugs and kisses and provide you with afterglow so addicting you will get hot cheeks at work just thinking about it. He is your best friend, goddamn it, and he knows you better than any of these strangers ever will. And he is not going to lose you to some boy.

He jogs to catch up with you, calling your name with a certain harshness.

You turn. Your eyes meet. Jungkook’s brain short circuits.

“What?” you ask him, sounding small because of being called so harshly.

“I, I was just wondering, uhm, should we get ice cream after?” he asks because he panicked.

You shrug your shoulders, “I guess.”

“It’s on me, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Jungkook inches closer, saying your name softly.

“What do you want?”

“I messed up before.”

“What do you mean?”

“I, I just. I thought that I was doing a good job, but I think I made you think something else.”

“Jungkook. I had a long day, please don’t talk in riddles.”

“Don’t date other boys.”

“Excuse me?”

Jungkook gulps, panicking because of your offended and harsh tone.

“I, I, I just”, he stutters, widening his eyes.

“No. What do you mean? I can date who I want.”

“I know, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that, oh god, I meant that I don’t want you to see other boys.”

“Huh?”

“Ah no, wait.”  He slaps his own forehead. “Wait.”

You cross your arms in front of your chest, “what makes you think that you can tell me what I can or can’t do?”

“No I didn’t mean it like that. Wait just give me a moment, please I’m panicking.”

You purse your lips, studying his face intensely.

“Are you also so nervous?” he asks.

“What’s with you all of a sudden?” you ask him, honestly worried. His face is as red as ripe strawberries.

Jungkook closes the distance and takes your hands, eliciting a gasp from you. He squeezes them gently, staring into your eyes as deeply as possible.

“This wasn’t how I always imagined this to go, but I can’t stay quiet anymore. ___, the girl I have a crush on is-”

“Seriously?”

You and Jungkook turn around at the angry voice next to you.  

“Suho? What are you doing here?” you ask.

“Who’s that?” Jungkook says.

“Kim Suho. I met him on the dating app. We went on like one date a month ago”, you explain and slip your hands out of Jungkook’s hold to turn to the other guy, “what are you doing here?”

Jungkook stares at him darkly, clenching his jaw. You told him about this dude in passing. He hates him so much, hating him even more now that he interrupted this moment.

“That’s what you’re going with? Seriously?” Suho throws back.

“Yeah, you-”

“What the fuck are you doing with him? I told you to stop being friends with him, didn’t I?”

Jungkook looks at you with big eyes. You never told him that. You always said that you lost interest in Suho because of different hobbies, but never mentioned that he could have been the actual reason.

“And I told you that you can’t tell me what to do. Jungkook is my best friend and I won’t give him up for a man.”

“Yes but I wasn’t any man, I was your man.”

“Huh? No you weren’t. We went on one date and you totally lost it when I told you that I had a male best friend.”

“Because he isn’t just your friend. You’re in love with him.”

Jungkook swears that he passes out standing up for a second. Feelings? You have feelings for him? Did you tell Suho that or is he assuming because he is one of those weird men that think women aren’t allowed to have male friends? What does all of this mean?

“What?” You laugh nervously. “No? Of course not.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous. I followed you from work and through the store. I saw everything.”

“Huh? What?” you gasp, hurrying to Jungkook instinctively because you know that he will keep you safe.

“Dude, what the fuck? You creep, stay away from her”, Jungkook says harshly and steps in front of you, feeling the fire of protectiveness start to burn in his chest.

“I saw what I saw. You have feelings for each other”, Suho says, pointing an accusing finger at you and Jungkook.

Jungkook and you exchange a look. 

“No I…”

Suho scoffs and looks at Jungkook.

“And you? Gonna fucking pretend that you’re just friends or should I start punching you?”

“Dude, I’ve never even met you”, Jungkook defends himself, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“I’ll still fucking punch you.”

“Don’t you dare”, you hiss at him.

“Shut up, ___.”

“Hey, don’t talk to her like that”, Jungkook speaks up loudly, making himself bigger. He doesn’t care when people are aggressive to him, but he cannot accept aggression towards you.

“Or what?”

“You wanna find out? Don’t talk to her like that.”

Suho rushes to Jungkook and pushes at his chest. He thought that he could move him, but he can’t. Jungkook just gawks at him in utter surprise.

“What are you doing?” he asks confused.

“Why aren’t you budging? Fall over you idiot”, Suho growls and tries again with all his might. 

Jungkook takes a small step back but then stays unmoving. 

“Dude, seriously. What are you doing?”

Suho growls and punches Jungkook. Except that he is so bad at it that Jungkook can easily dodge him. He reacts calmly to the aggression, redirecting Suho by turning him and giving him a gentle push away from him.

Suho stumbles and whips around.

“You-”

Jungkook steps closer, “give it up, man.”

Suho shifts his attention to you, pointing his finger at you. He tries to get to you by swerving past Jungkook, but the latter steps in front of you again, stopping Suho with a firm hand on his chest. He didn’t show it, but the contact was definitely made with strength because Suho stumbles back from it.

“I said. Give it up. I’m not gonna repeat myself again”, he warns. For just a second his voice was deeper than usual and his eyes darker. You can’t stop staring in awe, feeling so attracted to him that it is difficult not to grab him right here and now.

Suho ignores him, talking over Jungkook’s shoulder.

“It’s over. I’m breaking up with you.”

“Huh? We weren’t even together in the first place?” you say very confused.

“Yes, well…. Now it’s really over. And just so you know, I’ll block you on everything.”

“I mean, okay.”

Suho turns and runs down the street clumsily.

A moment of silence. Jungkook turns to you. He is ready to take you into his arms if you need support.

“Everything okay?” he asks hesitantly.

“Honestly? I couldn’t care less about this tantrum. What the fuck was that? We went on one date and it sucked ass. I mean, who in their right mind expects someone to give up their best friend? I don’t even know this dude.”

“Would you have done it if you liked him?”

“What? No, of course not. I like you, not him.”

“What?!”

You look at Jungkook with big eyes.

“I, I mean…” you look at his lips and Jungkook finally notices.

Holy fuck. Suho was right.

He drops the grocery bags and closes the distance, cupping your face. To his delighted surprise, you practically melt into his hands, gazing at him with dreamy eyes and your fingers closing around his wrists greedily.

“Was he right?” Jungkook asks, looking between your right and left eye. “Do you have feelings for me?”

“I’m scared”, you whisper.

“Scared of what?”

“You are so perfect and I’m not. I don’t want to know how you feel about me, so just…let’s just forget about what happened please.”

“You’re not perfect? What the fuck? You’re literally perfect. If someone’s unworthy, it’s me.”

“What?”

Jungkook gulps. 

You touch his chest.

“Kook, what?”

“You’re my fucking dream girl, ___” he finally confesses and now can’t be stopped, “I get excited when you text me and get sad when I don’t hear from you. Each time we hang out, I kinda wish that we somehow magically end up together. I repeat every little touch and shared laughter and look. Sometimes I can’t fall asleep because of you, but wish to do so because in my sleep I can meet you in my silly, wishful dreams. Do you have any idea how in love I am with you?”

“Are you serious?” 

Jungkook nods his head, forcing your tears to finally flow. He gasps and begins wiping them away instantly.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry, I promise I won’t try anything. You, you won’t lose your best friend.”

“I’m just happy. So happy.”

“You are?”

“I feel the same for you. I have done so for a long time.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” You sniffle. “You’re my dream boy too, Jungkook.”

“Oh my god. Oh my god! Yippie!” he exclaims and overtaken by happiness, he swoops you off your feet to twirl with you, making you squeal happily as you hold onto him for dear life. Strangers definitely look at you weird, but you couldn’t care less. They are non-existent for you and him. He likes you and you like him back. This day is the best day you and he ever had.

He sets you down after the twirling, cradling your face so he could hold it still for way too many kisses. He gives you kisses everywhere except your lips, making you giggle and laugh and tingle the entire time.

“I’m so happy, you’re so pretty and perfect and amazing and pretty and amazing and I’m gonna kiss you there and there and there and oh my god you’re so perfect, I’m gonna kiss you there and there, wow oh wow…” he babbles between kisses, truly sending your heart into overdrive.

He probably would have continued his babbling for hours if you hadn’t stopped him by lacing your fingers in his hair and pulling his mouth into a kiss.

“Andmhgmh”, he lets out, gawking at you first before the realisation of his situation sinks in. His knees buckle, his left hand grabs your hips and his right hand cradles your head, eyes falling closed. He is kissing you. He feels weightless, floating in time and space. His heart races so much that he feels it throb against his ribcage, the butterflies in his stomach are unbearably exciting. He dreamt of this moment a million times before, fantasised about it twice as much and yet he still wasn’t ready for it. Your kiss is like heaven on earth. He swears that he gains new life through it. He wants to kiss you until his lungs run out of air, but you break it.

“Was that okay for me to do?” you ask him shyly.

Now it’s his turn to spill tears and for you to wipe them.

“I’m sorry, I should have ask-”, you don’t get to finish your sentence, getting kissed again by Jungkook.

“I’m so fucking happy, you have no idea”, he murmurs, showing you his feelings one deep kiss at a time. “You taste so good.” Kiss, oh so deep. “Your lips are so soft.” Kiss, the kind which makes your knees wobble. “You’re perfect, you’re so perfect.”

You giggle, gazing up at him droopily. Jungkook giggles as well, peeling his eyes open to gaze dreamily. You and he cup each other’s faces, resting your foreheads together.

“I’m happy.”

“I’m happy too.”

“Wow, I’m so happy.”

“Me too. So happy.”

You giggle together, swaying from side to side. Nothing, truly nothing, has never felt as right as this.

“Were you trying to confess to me before Suho interrupted us?”

“Yeah.”

You giggle as you talk, “you were really shit at it. I thought you were talking about someone else.”

“I know, I panicked so bad. I was so nervous”, he is giggling too, “are you actually talking to another boy?”

“Of course not, you doofus. I lied.”

“Oh my god, I’m so relieved”, he gets out and sweeps you off your feet again, carrying you under your butt. He twirls with you, smiling up at you as you squeak and laugh with your head thrown back.

“Jungkook stop please, I’m getting dizzy.”

He sets you down, but keeps touching you, seeking your closeness by rubbing his nose against your cheek. He is so close that the sunflowers are getting squished between you and him. It is a price you sadly have to pay in exchange for finally being able to be glued together.

“I’m so happy, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Kook. So like barbeque and beer? Is it a date?” you ask.

“It’s the datiest date that has ever dated”, he says, making you giggle because he is so cute and funny and you like him so, so much. He giggles with you because you are so perfect and perfect and perfect and he likes you so, so much.

“I feel like we have a lot to talk about.”

“Yeah, oh god.” He kisses your cheek multiple times. “You have to tell me all the thoughts you had when we hung out. Were you also so giddy, oh god, I was always so giddy and I kept looking at you because you are so pretty. Were you looking at me too? And, and did you also wish for me to be reckless? I always wanted you to just kiss me. I’m talking so much, wow, I’m so happy.”

You giggle, cuddling into him, “you’re the cutest person ever. I can’t wait to tell you everything.”

You nudge him to leave, but stop when Jungkook exclaims a loud “wait!”

“What’s wrong?”

“The groceries. I almost left them here”, he says, bending down to get them.

“Oh god, you’re so cute”, you snicker, hugging his arm and nuzzling into him like you always wanted to do.

[jinwoosbabyboo]

“Will You Marry Me?"

How I imagine LADS Men would propose. This is part 2 of 2. I tried to do the sweet elegant writing, but that ain't me so here you go....

Xavier

Our lover boy Xavier is a literal prince. I feel as though he'd be very traditional with his proposal. The only unfortunate part is he can't ask for your fathers/family blessing because you know .... Anyway :)

He would definitely court you for a week even if you’ve already been together for over a year. The day of his proposal he would take you to a spot only he knows that has zero light pollution. Of course it’s deep in the forest.

MC: If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re trying to kill me and hide my body Xavier: You have such creative thoughts MC: Seriously where are we going? Xavier: Somewhere special MC: So mysterious even after a year of dating

He’d bring you to a clearing that seemed like it was being lit up by a spotlight. It’s not though he chose to propose on a night with a full moon and clear skies so you could see how beautiful the stars are without all the city lights.

MC: It’s otherworldly Xavier: This was my favorite place to come when I needed clarity MC: Why didn’t you show me sooner? Xavier: I wanted to save it for a special day MC: oh what are you going to propose or something?

You’d be laughing and boom he pulls a ring out of his pocket shutting you right up.

MC: Oh shit! You’re really proposing Xavier: Yes im really proposing

His speech is so sweet it could give you cavities not only would he emphasize how much he loves you he’d let you know just how much he is solely yours. Even if you were to one day forget him and how much he loves you he would still always be yours and would do anything to keep you safe & most of all happy.

Xavier: My lady will you marry me? MC: I want nothing more

He might’ve been sweet and soft spoken during his proposal but that shy boy facade went out the window when you two got back home.

Sylus

It’s canon that Sylus gets nervous when he wants to ask you out. So just imagine how nervous he is getting ready to propose! He already constantly gifts you pretty gems and the gifts just keep increasing over the course of 3 months.

He second guesses himself thinking you may say no so he keeps putting it off but continues to shower you in gifts, quality time, full body massages, shopping sprees, dinner dates, lunch dates, you name it he’s doing it, you want it he got it. He’d be spoiling you so much you’d have to sit him down and ask him what’s going on. He would dismiss your concerns of course.

MC: Are you guys leaving for a while? Kieran: Why do you ask? MC: Sylus has been acting weird I feel like he’s about to disappear again Luke: That was one time and boss only did that because you asked him to leave you alone MC: I know but I’m worried now Luke: Relax miss hunter you’re overthinking

The twins would indeed gaslight you while Sylus worked up the nerve to propose. When he finally has the nerve to do it he goes all out. I’m talking he'd rent out the most exquisite restaurant money can buy. A whole staff at your beck and call. He'd wine and dine you with delicious food and expensive wine. By the time dessert comes you'd want answers.

MC: You're leaving me aren't you Sylus: Jumping to conclusions are we? MC: I'm serious Sylus you haven't been yourself lately you're worrying me Sylus: I guess this is the part where I explain myself

With two snaps of his fingers the twins would rush out; Kieran placing a giant box bouquet of red roses in your arms and Luke placing a crown on your head before rushing out leaving the two of you alone.

MC: What's this? and what am I a Princess? Sylus: You are and I'd love to change your title to Queen MC: Stop are you....

I don't picture Sylus giving a long winded speech. I feel like he would be the type to write it down so you could cherish his words forever.

Sylus: Will you marry me Miss Hunter? You can say no if- MC: Of course I'll marry you

Yet again I'm tackling this man as soon as he slips that ring on. Need to be in his arms immediately. Expeditiously.

Zayne & Rafayel here…

[harmoonix]

🌃⚡Stormy Astrology Notes⚡🌃

⚡ - Moon aspecting Mars can end up with anger issues, is because sometimes they know how to control their emotions and sometimes they don't

⚡ - Mercury in Sagittarius/Gemini might have a different way of expressing their words and the way they communicate might be also different than others

⚡ - Neptune aspecting Moon gives beautiful eyes and face features, definitely i think of angelic placements

⚡ - Natives with heavy Aquarius or 11th house placements are THE BIGGEST defenders of their friends, they won't let you to talk bad about their friends

⚡ - Heavy Taurus or Cancer placements can possess cooking talents or they just may like to cook and try different types of food

⚡ - Moon prominent in a chart makes the native sensbile, spiritual and magic, they have a mix of everything honestly because of their imense intuition and power

⚡ - Asteroid Devine (3561) in the 7th house can have a blessed relationship and the type of "I wish to have this type of relationship just like they have"

⚡ - Asteroid Pandora (55) aspecting Ascendant can be seen as someone who is always curious and looking for things to do, their curiosity might be too much sometimes

My reaction: 😍😍

⚡ - Mercury aspecting Moon or Venus are AMAZING artistically people, they are extremely talented in arts, acting, music painting etc..

⚡ - Lilith in Virgo/6H house is not an easy placements but is definitely not for the weak because Virgo who is the (Virgin) meets Lilith who is like the baddie who does naughty things and in this placement Lilith can embody both dark and light energy

⚡ - Lilith in Gemini/3rd house have kinks to love and hear their partners moaning or calling their names during breaking bed time, they love this

⚡ - Lilith in Cancer/4th house might be obsessed with their partners chest, or muscles they just habe this secret addiction to chest and muscles

⚡ - Aries Mars/Scorpio Mars and Sagittarius Mars are no joke when it comes to breaking bed time, they are REALLY into it without stopping...all day all night 🌃

⚡ - An UNDERATTED thing about Lilith - Sun aspects is that they love the dark aesthetic, dark movies, dark books, dark clothes everything basically who has this Darcie/Villain type of energy

⚡ - Asteroid Lilith (1181) aspecting Ascendant can't help it to make other people fall over them, they are always in someone's eyes and in someone's else heart

⚡ - Gemini in the 5th house/Gemini Venus may have multiple crushes or can end up as a love triangle between them..Yes I know this is not K-drama material but can feel like it

⚡ - You tell me you have Aquarius Venus or Aquarius Juno and your friends didn't fall for you?That's an rare event because people with these placements often end up with their friends falling for them or vice versa

⚡ - Hekate (100) - aspecting Ascendant is extremely spiritual gifted, and also embodying Hekate's energy, i love people with such placements..it always makes me think to Hekate putting them in the right path

⚡ - Hekate (100) aspecting Moon could have been a witch or having some business with sorcery in a past life because moon can repsent past life topics

⚡ - Having 11°, 23° degrees in your (Sun, Moon, Rising) can show gaming addiction, they might have a passion for gaming or playing games in general

⚡ - Having 4°, 16°, 28° degrees in your (Sun, Moon or Rising) can show an aesthetic related to sky/stars/celestials/ and even astrology they can love astronomy and study it

⚡ - Having 6°, 18° degrees in your (Sun, Moon or Rising) shows that you prioritize your health a lot, you like to keep yourself healthy and in good form and always trying to keep an balance

⚡ - Virgos and their obsession with cleaning is something else, if they find even a little crumb on the floor, they would clean it until their floor shines

⚡ - Libra/Taurus in Sun. Moon, Rising is the IT placement for being the "lover girl" kind of thing. Love is their thing since they are the being kids of Venus

⚡ - Nothing is as juicy as someone with Capricorn and Scorpio placements in their chart, they are the juiciest people you will ever met

⚡ - Psyche (16) - or Vesta (4) in water signs... How does it feel be a starchild?? Is honestly intense and beautiful, they were always giving this type of "I'm not from this world im just visiting"

⚡ - Neptune can repsent addiction aswell so people with a heavy Neptune in their chart may have different addictions to different things

⚡ - Pluto aspecting Mars placements are on the list of being the naughtiest people...Life can always get crazy if you have these aspects in your chart

⚡ - Air Placements really love the cloudy weather...well it kinda makes sense because they are represented by the air element but I mean the vibe this cloudy weather brings them

⚡ - Having 5°, 17°, or 29° degrees in your Sun, Moon or Rising gives that type of person who is always in the spotlight, they receive a good amount of attention and it can be anytime of it. Like people staring at you because they are curious or interested in you

⚡ - Not me discovering at 3 A.M that having Chiron in the 2nd, 4th, 8th and 12th houses just means you inherited pain 😭 like you have to carry some pain but that is coming from other people not you #staystrong

⚡ - Moon in Sagittarius/9th house can be really outgoing if you give them that chance, like you can see them dancing in the middle of the floor on some Nicki Minaj songs and you'd be still wondering if they are drunk on is just their personality (Applies if you have Moon in Sagittarius Degrees 9°. 21°)

⚡- Having 2°, 14°, 26° degrees in your Sun, Moon or Rising makes you so charming and lovely, this is truly someone who is beautiful inside and out and shares a good energy to people

⚡ - Girlie be having Pluto/Saturn in the 11th house and has either that type of friends who betray them either their friends become a lesson for them 😭

My reaction:

⚡ - Saturn in the 6th house/12th house natives be getting tried so fast, is like the energy goes out of them in the moment they wake up 😭😭

⚡ - People with the sister signs in their chart and either get along or hate eachother forever, for example: 2 Cancer Risings can like eachother and it can happen for 2 Virgo Risings to hate eachother

⚡ - Is very important for natives with Neptune in the 1st house or Neptune aspecting ascendant to be around good and positive people, because if they are around bad people these natives can get really easy influenced by others so please take care of your surroundings

⚡ - "I think I'll miss you forever" gives Pluto - Venus aspects and it's so true because those natives love the deepest

⚡ - Storms are magnificent and dangerous in the same time, especially seeing it at night, it's wonderful how mother nature wants to show the world how amazing she is ⚡

⚡- Hope you enjoyed the post, may your day be with a good vibe and light energy 🌃

H a r m ⚡ o o n i x

Harmoonix2023®

[tarotwithavi]

Messages from your inner child 🎁🪐

How to choose a pile?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

Masterlist

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Hello if you're reading I hope you have a great month ahead!

Pile 1

Hello I hope you are fine I just want to ask you how are you coping up with it. We promised to be a kind person did we not? Are you still that kind person? I am not talking about how you treat others I am talking about how you treat yourself. Are you being kind to us? I just get upset sometimes when you don't treat yourself the way you treat your good friends because I am your friend too. Are we doing our dream job? Are we doing what we dreamed of? No? Do we have the friend group that we always desired? Are we popular now? Are you putting enough work to get all that we desired? I am not blaming you I am just reminding you that to get what we desire we need to put in the same effort. You know you are capable of all that you desire, you're worthy of all that you desire but things will not be served on a silver platter for you.

I see that a lot of you have been hurt and yourself healing from all those experiences. I also see that some of you may have been through a miscarriage or death of a child. Your inner child just wants you to know that everything will be okay and you will be fine. I also see that some of you need to take action to fulfill your dreams. You have the idea that you just need to put it to work. Follow your dreams, are you the person your inner child will be proud of? Ask yourself. What can you do to be the person you always dreamt of becoming as a child?

Pile 2

Hello! I know you have been really stressed lately. I know things did not work out the way you thought they would or the way you wanted them to but I just want you to know that the upcoming days are a blessing. You have done enough for us now it's your time to take a rest and finally give yourself the credit you deserve. I do not feel good when you overwork yourself. If you look closely we are currently living one of her childhood dreams you just need to acknowledge that. You are already doing enough to become the person you are meant to be and sometimes life does punch us in the face but we have to stand strong. Do not be harsh with your words, do not look yourself in the mirror and say harsh things because I live inside you. Yes, things are really bad. Yes we do not have the money to get some work done but it will be alright. Remember “This too shall pass”. The people the times the beauty all these things are temporary with the only thing that is permanent is your mind. People leave you, time changes and beauty becomes not so beautiful with time but it is only your brain that remains the same. Yes it does go from frequent changes but in the end it's your brain that is going to stay with you forever. so keep that positive and do not let those negative thoughts get to you.

Alright so this may be a really specific message but I am getting that if you used to have a twin who couldn't survive , they are now one of your spirit guides. I also want you to know that you are going to reap the fruits of what you bore in the past. For example if you did a good thing and forgot about it then you are getting the good Karma back but if you did a bad thing then this is just the karma getting at you. For some of you you are about to meet your soulmate and have a long term relationship with them however I would suggest you to not obsess over the thought of having a soulmate because that may repel them. I also see that your inner child is proud of you actually and they really want to give you a big hug. Imagine your child self hugging you and patting you on the back.

Pile 3

Hello!!!!! Do not be sad, we have to prove people wrong, right? We have to prove that we are enough and we have to prove that they have been wrong for a very long time. They have been wrong about the world, they have been wrong about us, they have been wrong about what beauty is. Honestly I don't think there is anything they have been correct at. Just keep doing what you are doing. I am really proud of you and you should keep being yourself. Show them your sarcastic side and talk back to them. You are doing enough I said and that's the end of the topic. They can be the one to speak or to start a conversation or even an argument but we will be the one who ends it. You are here to break generational curses . What people say should not bother you. In fact what people say should not bother anyone because they don't pay our bills. I don't know how you become so anxious because this is not you, we are carefree, we are cheerful and we are beautiful.

Alright so your inner child seems sassy so to say. I also see that you have been receiving messages in your dreams or your about to. I also see that if you are thinking of starting a new business or giving a job interview or filing for a job then you should definitely do it but be really careful of what information you share. Some of you may be having nightmares recently because your room is really cold. Things about to change life will turn drastically. It's like you are about to shift realities. Right now you may be doing two jobs or maybe managing work and job and may be really stressed about yesterday's work and your personal life but you're about to shift into a reality where you will not have to worry about these things. You are about to shift into a reality where your manifestations will come to reality within seconds.

[dcmainlybillythoughts]

Consider if you will: Billy gets hit by some spell that sort of shows the gods who are in his head All the Time. Not exactly though, mote like misty gray human shapped blobs. Like someone took the Smooth tool in photo shop to them to erase all the details and faces. They still have different body shapes, postures, and voices though. Everyone can see all seven- wait seven?

Everyone there, especially those who don't normally have bodies of their own are Very excited to be there with Sort Of Bodies. Mercury immediately jumped on the table and started to sing while doing the Freestyle Dance Teacher dance. Atlas and Zues are brawling in the back and Hercules cheers. Achilles talking to Billy who is Not Responding while trying to figure out how to copy the dances Mercury is doing on the table. Solomon is simply giving some long winded lecture that Billy is already tuning out as he introduces each of his patrons to his coworkers and says, "and yes. They are always Like This. 24/7. Actually I'm surprised Hercules isn't trying to over power Mercury's singing with his own."

Hal points to the 7th and final figure who is yet to be introduced, A very small and skinny figure tucked between Marvel's cape and his legs, face to blurred and smooth to know but clearly glaring and body language frightening, and asks who this one is and what power they give. Thinking fast and maybe with a touch of help from Solomon sending a bit of extra power, Marvel says, "oh this? He's shy and doesn't like his name being given out. And he may not be the strongest or the bravest or the fastest, but he is undoubtedly one of the most important blessings I have. The Heart and Mind of a child. He keeps me honest and nags me about doing the right thing simply because it's The Right Thing. He also reminds me of the beauty and wonder in the world in small and simple ways. Like the time he got so excited about finding a 5 leaf clover that he made me preserve it and keep it in my pocket because the 5th leaf *clearly* means it's *extra* lucky. Or he'll point out things like how pretty the sun set is or how nice ice cream is on a hot day and just. All the little things that remind me of why I fight in the first place. He's a good kid, even if he didn't get to be a kid for very long." Billy feels a bit awkward patting his own(?) Head but he's got to sell the illusion.

Everyone is awwing almost enough to not notice when Murcury starts singing "FROM THE WINDOW, TO THE WALL!" And gets the the shit smacked our of him by Achilles before he can finish the next verse.

This is so cute. Imagine that when Cap was introducing Billy he put emphasis on his job by telling them "He is the only difference between me and Black Adam" because that is why Shazam picked him.

Also I am living for the chaos the gods are bringing to the table, or on the table if you're Mercury.

[maharellasa]

I've given it a lot of thought about making a post like this, because I didn't want to just add to the already extended discourse on the subject, but I keep reading opinions and I just can't stay out of it.

Before I continue I want to make clear that I've done high approval solas playthroughs and I do believe that a befriended solas cares deeply for the inquisitor. He respects and values them, and you could even argue that they forge a kind of sibling bond or a mentor/apprentice one. So for him to betray that, it's really a tragedy in the end—the inquisitor hurts deeply for their lost friend/mentor.

That said, and I am truly, honestly, not saying this as a solasmancer, but from a storytelling point of view, the story of a romanced solas is still far more impactful.

Please let me make my case before you draw conclusions.

I am not saying it's more valid, or that you should do it, or that it should be the canon. Just, simply, that it is a more powerful story narratively, and that acting like the high approval run somehow has an equal narrative value is completely unbased. It's a meaningful story, yes, but it does not have the same impact. (To be clear, I'm not speaking in comparison to other romances here since that's based on taste and preferences, just the case of befriended vs romanced solas specifically.)

From a creative writing point of view, the romance employs:

backstory relevance: fen'harel is an important part of lavellan's culture and upbringing. and yes, arguably, that's true for any lavellan, but in the case of a romanced one, there's the beautiful narrative device of—

tragic irony: she grew up specifically being cautioned about the dread wolf's treachery, hearing blessings like "may the dreadwolf never catch your scent" etc. and what does she do? she goes and falls in love with him.The dread wolf literally takes her. A befriended lavellan might love him, but will give him nothing so vital as her heart for it to be considered "a taking". And as for other inquisitors, well, they don't even know who Fen'harel is.

unique perspective: (edit because of comments on this post) solas reveals much more of himself to a romanced inquisitor than a high approval one. "it's not right", "it's been so long since I trusted someone", "it will be kinder in the long run", "you saw more than most", and to top that, the ultimate reveal of solas telling her he can remove her vallaslin, which is his way of showing her who he truly is.

denied catharsis: one of the most essential rules of storytelling is that after you've reached the climax of the hero's journey and you've dragged them through all their struggles, you should provide a form of catharsis. that doesn't happen in the case of the romanced lavellan. she ends up alone. I'm not even saying heartbroken, because losing a friend can cause equal pain, but a solas romanced lavellan ends. up. alone. After all that she went through, after having her personhood erased and being forced into a religion that is not hers, after losing her arm and potentially her clan, she ends the journey of the inquisition standing completely alone overlooking an empire that will never thank her. and added to that, we have—

continued torment: her lover still visits her in dreams and she can't even tell if he's real or her imagination.

Yes, high approval playthroughs are enjoyable and meaningful and as much a valid canon as any. And yes, it's really unfortunate that they limited such a beautiful romance to a specific race and gender in the game. But please, please, stop trying to argue that the friendship narrative is as powerful a storytelling as the romance. And stop treating solavellans like silly fangirls who can't see past their faves. I admit that there are those who are trying to force the romance as the only valid option, but I'm not talking about those, every fandom has its radicals.

This is not an argument of whether romantic is better than platonic or vice versa. And it's not an argument of whether solas cares more for a romanced inquisitor versus a befriended one. He cares deeply in both cases. It's about the fact that, narratively speaking, the romance delivers a far greater impact to the character and the story than the high approval run.

[ariiadnes]

╭ ㅤ⿻ ･ HOLY IS THE LOVE THAT SAVED ME ( part v. )

HOW DELICATE LOVE IS , THIS EBB & FLOW OF SERENITY.

ଓ.° ・ alhaitham ･ kaveh ･ dehya. genshin impact. title cr : juniper vale. repost. ・ ・ ・ part i. part ii. part iii. part iv.

❀ ﾟ. ༄ alhaitham

& LOVE IS A DISASTER, EXISTING IN BOTH MIRACLE AND CURSE INTERTWINED. how she embeds herself in the depths of the heart, spreads with each beat as reminder that you are alive and you are in love. in the days that pass, the blood in your veins burns with the fervor of longing ; the confessions remain stagnant, words of affection lodged in your throat yet dancing on the tip of your tongue. they taste bittersweet, taste like dreams of peace and quiet serenity, taste like something that leaves you desiring more yet can never be satiated.

yes, love is a disaster : inescapable, undeniable, and it is what brings you to this moment, your weight on alhaitham's desk, his hands planted firmly by your sides as he maintains a nearly nonexistent distance between your bodies.

it almost feels like you are suffocating, this feeling here and now, and you wonder if love is supposed to feel this way. you hold your breath, feel the way your lungs burn in protest. something in you wishes to break free, release from this hold, but you resist, succumb to your fear of what could be.

"stop looking at me like that."

his lips twitch-- a subtle smirk you don't quite catch, followed by something all too knowing in his sharp gaze.

"like what? i'm only making an observation."

"it's past your work hours and you don't like making small talk. what do you want?"

"your honesty, firstly."

with your normal banter, he expects you to call him infuriating, irritating-- something along those lines. but there is a reluctance that paints a vulnerability on your countenance, a quelled fear, and so he shifts slightly, rests his hand on yours in a rare act of encouragement and patience. it is a strange weakness that binds you together in this time -- the still air, the understanding in each others eyes-- and your body moves on instinct in the way it draws closer to him-- closer, closer, and closer until your lips press against his in desire. you do not know how long this time lasts, overwhelmed with the knowing of his touch and the feeling of his hand against the small of your back as he holds you tighter.

yes, love is a disaster : inescapable, undeniable, and it is what brings you to this moment, confessions told and yet unspoken, and when you are both ready to confess the words of love, you will.

but for now, alhaitham thinks, chuckling at the way he feels you smile against his lips, this is sufficient enough.

❀ ﾟ. ༄ kaveh

& BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER, BUT LOVE IS IN THE HEART OF THE DIVINE, and so there is a worshipping in the way another's existence is a blessing. you know this love to be true in the way it flows through your veins, becomes one with the blood that keeps you alive.

the hand that rests in yours is calloused, worn with craft and devotion to the creation of art. you hum a gentle lullaby, absentminded, a blithe smile on your lips as you watch kaveh blink slowly, unable to fight the heaviness that falls upon his eyes. how exhausted he has been, surviving on so little sleep in the past few weeks.

deadline upon deadline, the pushing of one's strength and stamina during the late hours, and the shedding of tears in frustration in self-doubt and seldom potential in oneself. there is not much you can do for your lover in those times ; try as you may, your wisdom is unmatched to his when it comes to his profession. the only thing you can do is hold him in the nights he manages to find his way to your bedroom, and even then, you do not feel that it is enough. it never is, you think, but he is quick to tell you otherwise, even if his smile is worn the next morning you rise together.

no, there is not much you can do during those times, but it is after that you show him what he is worth, show him what he reflects in the divinity he places in his art.

your fingers trace the lines of his palm, delicate, slow. you note the few scars that adorn his skin, intrigue piqued in the nature of their origins. you do not ask, though, the silence between two lovers too heavy, deafening yet so heard and understood.

when you gaze upon kaveh, the sight that greets you is truly nothing uncommon, yet you find adoration in it nonetheless : the lack of words, the red hues in his cheeks nearly akin to the color of his brilliant eyes. you pull his hand, gently coax him towards you as your arms wrap around his neck. you press a kiss against his nose, rest your forehead against his, and he surely hopes you cannot hear the beating of his heart. it races so, pounds so violently with a love that cannot be contained.

"you worked so hard." you whisper, and it is then that his tears fall, wiped away by your touch. "i'm proud of you, kaveh."

❀ ﾟ. ༄ dehya

& THE WALLS HAVE COME CRASHING DOWN, FALSE PRETENSES OF LOYALTIES RENDERED ASUNDER. a mercenary professes patronage to those who pay high coin, knows the allure of the risks worth taking. she does not follow as blindly as she makes it out to be, the purifying flame, and in the ashes left from the fire, there is only benevolence.

the wounds are nothing new, but she is not numb to the pain. they decorate her body, scattered haphazardly. your blood runs cold at the thought of loss, at the thought of all she has endured, but she has always broken you from such heaviness, rescued you before you fell down the rabbit hole.

you wrap the bandages around her arms, movements slow when you notice her wince from the painful sensations that hit harder than they should. she should be used to this by now, really. a mere hit should not be enough to hurt her this much, but when she looks into your eyes, she does not know if it is truly the physical pain of the steel that has found home in her flesh or if it is the pain you fail to keep at bay.

time after time, home away from home, you sometimes feel that you can never win. what a selfish thought it is ; you have given yourself grief over it so many times before, but you are only human, and what is humanity if not for the longing of it all?

there is a heartache when she comes back to you and a heartache when she is away from you. it is not a suffering, no -- you will not deem it as such, but you wish you could go with her, experience high tales of adventures yourself. but you cannot, so you wait, hope that your lover will return to your arms in the safest way possible.

because you are her sanctuary and she is yours, and you both know this so very much.

"always patching me up." dehya murmurs halfheartedly, and when you catch sight of that wistful gaze, her visage twists into something else, almost unreadable for a moment before she smiles at you. "not a pleasant welcome home gift, is it?"

"i don't mind it."

"liar." she pinches your cheek, laughs at your words of protest. "i know how sad it makes you, seeing me hurt like this." her tone turns somber, the smile dejected, and she places her hands over yours. "i'm sorry."

"don't apologize. you can't help it." there is a lump in your throat and the words threaten to choke you, but you speak nonetheless. you grab her hand, press a kiss against it before you rest it on your cheek. "as long as you come home to me, that's all i need."

[wtftarot]

PAC: The World

We've come full circle and it's about fuckin time, right? Time for the end. The World is harmony and the end of a cycle. She is that moment when you remember that you are the universe, you are One with everything and you feel it in your bones. It is recognizing your place as a human on this planet. The World is an ending, the inevitable conclusion but he is also the herald of a new beginning. What do they want to tell you? Let's fuck around and find out

As always this reading is for entertainment purposes ONLY and is not a substitute for professional advice in any capacity. Remember, use common sense and don't be a dumbass.

Four groups today, you can pick The Bird (eagle?), The Lion, The Person, or The Bull and head on to your reading.

The Bird/Eagle

The Nine of Cups and The Nine of Wands on the bottom of the deck.

This is fuckin gorgeous for y'all. The cycle that's ending for y'all is one where y'all had to fight tooth and nail for everything you wanted. I'm seeing the end of the Lord of the Rings, where the eagles fly Frodo and Sam out of Mordor after they destroy the Ring. I don't remember if Frodo actually says it, but I'm hearing him say "It's done". Y'all have been dealing with a rough ass cycle, huh? For it to show up as the One Ring? There may be one last battle of sorts? Like a boss battle. This is my nerd group (affectionate), I'm getting a lot of fantasy imagery. Think of it as one last challenge so you can truly close this cycle once and for all. For some of y'all, this cycle has been a long and very internal one. Something that's been weighing you down, that you're finally letting fall from your shoulders. What I'm seeing is that this 'boss battle" is a choice of sorts. You've been growing and figuring your way out of this cycle and all at once you're faced with a choice. This cycle has been more internal and you may have not seen much externally about it. It's like this choice embodies the cycle externally and you have a physical/material choice to make. Continue this cycle? Or Step forward with growth? And it will be that clear to you. Again with the imagery, I'm seeing a game screen with a choice. This path is unknown, keep going? Press X: Keep going. Press Y: Turn Around. Listen, I'm not much of a gamer like at all, so I don't know if that's a thing that happens in games? The last game I played was like three years ago?? So, the fact I keep getting gaming imagery means I'm really tapped into some of y'all's guides. Ok, the guide that's doing a lot of this is practically screaming in my ear to yell at y'all TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DREAMS. FOR FUCKS SAKE. If you're into gaming and have been playing a game that's set in the woods, that message goes double. Don't ask me, I just work here. Now the cycle y'all are stepping into? Fucking beautiful, ok? Y'all are gonna be getting a lot of shit you have been wishing and crossing your fingers for. I'm hearing/seeing "yes, those too" and imagery of a belt and other accessories? This group is loud and I love it. Yea, even the "little things" you've wanted that aren't high on the priority list will be coming your way soon. And y'all are going to be rightfully smug about it. I think some of the blessings coming your way were things that people around you have tried to dismiss or downplay or talk you out of, so yeah you can be a lil bit smug about it. You've earned it. The past lil bit for y'all has probably felt very stale and stagnant but now that it's closing, things are going to be moving and improving. It may jolt y'all a bit at first. Cause this energy is so fucking different from where you've been, that even just dipping your toes in it will be a shock. It will be a welcome shock though, refreshing. The way this will manifest will be different for all y'all, but one thing's for sure, y'all are gonna fuckin run with it. After that initial choice, falling into this new chapter will be the easiest thing in the world.

random ass vibes: video games, d&d, 999, leaning into a new clothing style, fish, moon cycles, someone have a moon tattoo? birthday cake, HAPPY BIRTHDAY?

The Lion

The Moon and The Tower on the bottom of the deck.

Ok, you need to take a break. Full stop. Even if it's just ten minutes of sitting in nothing and silence. Your brain needs a rest from everything. I feel like y'all need to be told that yes, this thing does need to end. The cycle you're in may have become your comfort zone and you feel safe repeating it cause you know what to expect. It does have to end though. Y'all may have some idea that this ending is coming but you don't know just how much things will change when it does. This may be about a belief about the world or yourself that's really holding you back. Once clarity comes, you won't fit in the same places, with the same groups you used to. I don't blame you for resisting this, it can be terrifying to start questioning belief systems or old worldviews. Some of y'all may be questioning the religion or politics you were brought up in. It could be an understanding of who you are vs who others want you to be. Y'all are feeling a bit overwhelmed and confused as to what all this means. Sweetie, that's okay. This IS confusing and overwhelming. It is hard and scary and can leave you feeling very vulnerable. Babe, you need to stop pushing yourselves to have all the answers already. This one takes time and it's okay to let it. That's probably why the message I got for y'all before I even pulled the cards was for y'all to take a break. Not only that, but you don't have to tell anyone about this. Yes, if you can find some safe support through these periods of life do it, but you don't owe anyone what you're going through. Y'all are putting soo much pressure on yourselves to know everything already, to have all the answers. To know every aspect of who you are and what you believe. Wanna know something terrifyingly liberating? You never will. You will never know every single aspect of yourself cause you're always growing and changing. Same with your beliefs, you're always learning new things about how the world works, so your beliefs will always be shifting, even slightly. This is all coming from The World card cause y'all, more than anything need to let yourselves just BE. Be in the moment, stop interrogating them as if all the answers will be found there. The answers you're seeking will come in time and letting yourself live. I know the world we live in pretty much demands you have everything figured out at all times but that's bullshit. It's okay to change your mind.

random ass vibes: small-town vibes, doves or white birds, 919, the goth kid at the family reunion, lightning, trees, dragons, red clothes. nature vs nurture.

The Person

The Sun and The Hermit Rx on the bottom of the deck

Y'all it's time to come out of hiding. You've been hiding your truth for a WHILE. lol I'm hearing that lil Sunday school song: "Don't hide your light under a bushel, NO!" ( I grew up in the bible-belt, don't judge). That's a song for little kids if y'all don't know it, you don't have to look it up. It's telling me though that y'all have been hiding your light, so to speak, since you were a little, little kid. Like four-ish years old. Now, I don't know y'all's situation, it may not be safe for y'all to be fully yourself, and cause it seems like y'all have been hiding your whole damn life that's probably the case. So, BE FUCKING SAFE, okay? Because you're at this reading though, there are probably some ways you're hiding yourself that you don't have to. It's like y'all have just been letting people decide who you are when you're around them? Y'all are wearing other's projections of you like masks. I'm hearing "too much". Ooh boy, y'all listen, this group feels like I'm talking to my younger self. I cannot tell y'all the number of times I was told I was "too much", too loud, too quiet, too stubborn, too whatever. Unless y'all are being too cruel, too bigoted or whatever, y'all have a place here okay? Y'all seem to have taken being told you're too X, or not Y enough to heart and have whittled yourself down piece by piece cause that's what the people around you want. Y'all are like the fucking sun and everyone is demanding you be a candle. I think it's people you care about telling you this too. And because you care about them, you want them to be happy and comfortable. So, of course, you can be a little smaller, whatever they need, right? Now though, you've been doing this so long, you've lost yourself a bit, haven't you? The World is telling you it's time to call those parts of yourself back. Dig up those parts of yourself that you've buried. You can start as small as you feel you need to. It may be hard and confusing at first but soon it will be as natural as breathing. If you're not even sure where to start or have forgotten those parts, ask your guides and the universe for help. Ask for signs and to be put in situations that bring out those buried parts of you. You may have outgrown some of them and that's okay. Just prepare yourself, it won't be easy. Ya know that tingling feeling when your leg has been asleep and it's waking up? I feel that even though my leg has been fine this whole time. So it will probably be uncomfortable too. You should probably expect some hard reactions from the people around you too, especially if they've only known you as the you you've pretended to be for them. But that home you've been looking for? Felt calling? That can only be built by you being your authentic self. Otherwise, it'll just be another place where you have to wear a mask to be welcome. I wish I could end this one on a lighter note for y'all. This isn't an easy one. Take some alone time and please, take care of yourself through this. Whether you realize it or not, you are working through something really difficult and need to go easy on yourself through this.

random ass vibes: Halloween, candy, ghosts, 11:11, turtles, alligators, Frankenstein's monster, Venus, halos or angels?

The Bull

The Page of Pentacles and the Eight of Swords with the Empress on the back of the deck.

Y'all have so much fuckin potential, okay? Y'all are doubting yourselves so fuckin hard and The Universe and your Guides are sick of it. We all know someone who's amazingly talented but is so fuckin hard on themselves about it, to the point where you just want to grab em by the shoulders and shake them screaming YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND TALENTED. That's how your guides are feeling about you, all the damn time. I'm serious. I was only taking One card and the bottom of the deck for each group but the Eight of Swords came out too for y'all. Y'all are stuck in your head, questioning your every goddamn move and wondering why you're exhausted and never seem to move forward. This reading's tone is much more direct, like fed up snap the fuck out of its energy. Not that your guides are fed up with you, just fed up with your self-doubting bullshit. I'm hearing "..but they'll think I'm x" So, you may feel like if you truly lean into your potential and fail, people will have shit to say. Sweetie, they will and they will if you succeed and they will if you never do jack-shit. One of the few guarantees in life is that people will talk shit no matter what you do. The only control you have is why they're talking shit. Would you rather them talk shit about you cause you went after what you want, win or lose? Or because you never went after what you wanted, which is exactly what they wanted. The cycle that needs to end for you is one you have to end. End the cycle of shitting on yourself just cause you may not be where you want to be. End the doubt of your own capabilities. You really have NO CLUE how fucking amazing your life will get the second you start questioning those shitty thoughts. Like just questioning them, not even fully disbelieving them yet. Just questioning them will do fuckin wonders for you. If you're a beginner let yourself BE a beginner. If you want to try something new but are afraid of being a beginner then say fuck it and fuck you to those thoughts and start anyway. Hell, you don't have to tell anyone you're starting at first. You have the potential to be a whole-ass fuckin meadow and are doubting and even criticizing yourself for having to start as a handful of seeds. This is you're pep talk, in case you haven't figured that out yet. One other thing, some of y'all may be fearing the work that'll come with believing yourself, that it'll be tiring and all that. It's gonna be the opposite, sweetie. I mean, yeah it'll be work. But it's gonna be energizing. Do you know how much energy you've been hemorrhaging by shoving down allllllll that potential constantly? All of that will be freed up in a second and spent on fun shit. I believe in ya, babe.

Random ass vibes: thrifting, rainbows, makeup, cinnamon, puppets, purple, birds, card games, heart tattoos.

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 4: Persuasive

“What kind of rubbish is this?”

The voice is so sharp it jolts me from a deep sleep, making me panic when I try to recognize my unfamiliar surroundings. Oh, right. I’m employed now.

“But Tommy, it’s really good!” I hear Finn complain.

“I don’t care! It’s American rubbish is what it is!” Thomas barks.

As quick as I can, I hastily throw on a robe I find in the closet and peek my head out.

“What’s going on?”

Outside, Thomas is holding the copy Common Sense I gave to Finn yesterday. They both look over and see me, then Finn starts laughing.

“Nice robe!”

Confused, I look down and inspect the robe for any unusual features only to find nothing. “What’s wrong with it?”

“That’s Tommy’s old robe.”

His words send a blush creeping across my cheeks, one that I hope goes unnoticed. “Sorry about that. I was getting dressed in a hurry. What’s all this yelling about?”

Thomas’ jaw tightens and he strides over to corner me against the wall, holding the book in my face.

“Is this yours?”

I nod stiffly. “Yes. I gave it to Finn to see if he’d like it. I’m trying to find him more interesting topics to read-”

“Well, keep your American ideas to yourself. He needs to be educated, not fed ideas of rebellion and philosophy.”

His words send anger coursing through me, waking me up from my dazed state. “Since when do you get to decide if my American ideas aren’t good enough? You may be my boss, but your aunt hired me.” I snatch the book. “If you think my resources are unworthy then take it up with her.”

In a furious rage, Thomas storms down the hall and slams the door, startling Polly who has just come from the other door.

“What’s he on about now?”

“He doesn’t want me to read American literature,” Finn whines.

“What?” Polly scoffs. “That stubborn fool. Verena, I don’t care what he says. I’m sure whatever books you suggest will be efficient.” She puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “I will talk to him. Right now, get cleaned up and ready. Your first lesson with Finn can begin after he’s finished breakfast.”

“Is Thomas always this arrogant?”

She shakes her head in defeat. “He has his mother’s common sense, but his father’s devilment. Lord knows he needs help.”

A thought pops into my head.

“Before Finn’s lesson, I might wish to do some reading or sit in prayer. There wouldn't happen to be a church or chapel here? Or just some quiet place where I could clear my head?”

Polly’s eyes light up. “I’ve got just the palace for you.”

It really is a beautiful church. Not too big, but still grand and modest at the same time. I’m not Catholic but the welcoming atmosphere is refreshing compared to the ugly world outside-

“Oh.” I’m startled to see I’m not the only one here. “Fancy seeing you here,” I speak up.

Thomas doesn’t turn to face me. “Did Polly send you here to reprehend me? Scold me for being too forbidding of your culture?” He says in a darkly taunting voice.

“Actually, no. She said she’d stop by later to give you a personal chat about something important. I’m here to pray.”

Tommy doesn’t argue and allows me to sit in the pew across from him, staying quiet and pulling out a cigarette.

“Those things will kill you, you know. My father smokes too, but I was never a fan of it. Doctors may not agree yet, but I say that smoking only increases the risk of lung failure. Plus, the smell can be unbearable. Especially to children.”

“Are you here to preach or pray, love?” Thomas complains.

I keep my mouth shut and close my eyes for prayer, silently hoping that my family will send for me. I ask for blessings on the entire Shelby family for helping me, even if some of them can be very unlikable at times. 

I’m amazed that Thomas never interrupts me. If anything, it’s as if he’s tried to not make a sound at all since I’ve started. When I finish I see he’s lost in thought, so I quietly stand up and walk down the pews to give him privacy-

“You hate it here, don’t you?” Thomas stops me in my tracks. “That’s what you prayed for, eh? For your family to come get you or for some dashing bloke to come rescue you from this Hell hole? Say what you want about us, but this is our home.”

After taking a calming breath, I pivot and walk back to stand across from him. “Are you always this gallant of yourself? Always assuming everyone is against you?” I put my hands on my hips and look up to face his icy eyes. “Yes, I do wish to leave here. Call it sappy, but I’m homesick! Imagine going from being on vacation to being stranded somewhere alone where the town is like a demilitarized zone and the people are snakes!”

Thomas holds up his hands. “Whoa, whoa! We’re not all snakes.” He leans in and snickers. “It’s the coppers who are the snakes.”

I roll my eyes. “You can be unbearably arrogant. I imagine you’ve got all of Small Heath wrapped around your little finger, don’t you?”

“I can be very persuasive.”

“If you say so,” I shrug and walk back to the door.

“Where are you off to now?” Thomas calls.

“Off to teach Finn’s lesson before you can persuade me to go jump in the river.”

The lesson was a success. Ever since Finn got to read my ‘contrabanned’ books he’s been all but willing to learn. He definitely has his brothers’ ambition and attitude. Polly came in a few times to check up on us and seemed pleased. Even Thomas popped in once to “fetch some cigarettes,” but still couldn’t hide his interest when I began lecturing about macroeconomics.

“How do you know so much about finance?” He outright asks.

Haha, funny story. The truth is that my Uncle Colon liked me best out of all my brothers, and therefore spent extra time with me teaching about the family business. Not my father’s brewery, but the unofficial mob business. I can’t exactly come right out and say “It’s because my family’s in the mafia,” so I decide to do a small white lie.

“I read a lot, so I pick things up here and there.” Not a complete lie.

Tommy arches a brow but appears convinced and walks off down the hall. Once he’s gone, Finn looks at me with a mischievous grin.

“What?” I ask.

“Oh, nothing.” Finn goes back to reading. “I’ve never seen Tommy interested in books until you showed up.”

“You didn’t like them either,” I try to re-route the conversation.

Finn just shrugs and keeps reading, leaving me to ponder over what he just said. I don’t know Thomas well enough, but is Finn right? Has me being here made him start acting differently? He doesn’t take me as someone who gets emotionally attached to people. From what I can gather, he’s incredibly cold and forbidding, making me wonder if he’s capable of any emotion other than anger and pride. I push the thought aside and continue making notes for the week’s lesson plan.

Later that night I help make bread despite Polly’s bickering about me “being a house guest.” The only one missing is Ada, but no one seems to notice. All the while Thomas keeps whispering to his brothers, who are all looking back and forth at me as if I’m a painting on the wall. After everyone’s eaten they all go their separate ways, and once again I retreat to my room for some light reading before bed. Turns out it goes much faster than I plan because then next time I check the clock it’s one in the morning.

Click!

I look up from the page I’m reading, alerted by a noise coming from the hallway. “What on Earth…?”

Quietly, I creep to the door and open it a crack to see a woman’s silhouette creeping in from the back door. It’s Ada. Sneaking in during the late night hours? Suspicious…

Opening the door wider, she freezes at the sound of the creaking wood.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you look as though you’ve got something to hide.”

She turns around slowly, then relaxes when she sees it’s me. “You Americans always this blunt and cocky?”

I tilt my head. “When we want to be. I’ve been taking a lesson from your brothers about being cocky. But I’m not the one keeping secrets, Ada. I’m not a Shebly. You answer to Polly, not me.”

My response surprises her because she smiles and shakes her head. “I never said I’d say anything.”

I shrug. “You didn’t. But that won’t stop your consciousness overwhelming you with guilt.”

This takes a few moments to completely wash over her. Ada keeps staring at me with an indescribable face, then slowly starts to walk past me towards her own room.

“Wow. American and a philosopher. Polly must be proud of your strong moral compass.”

Wait. She’s offended by this? “Ada, I’m not trying to offend you. Heck, I just promised to keep my mouth shut about your late return! Why are you mad?”

Ada gets to her door and stops to look me dead in the eyes. “Maybe it’s because an outsider is allowed into our house without question? Hm? You’re a stranger from America, we don’t know who you or your family are, and Polly just lets you in like you’re a stray dog.”

Her words keep firing at me like a conversational battle. “I’m not playing into your family’s kindness to gain anything. I was offered housing and employment, so I accepted it. Yes, I know I’m an outsider. So I say again: if you have a problem, take it up with Polly.” I throw my arms up to end the chat and stride back to my room, but not before I hear:

“I’m sorry. I guess it’s not just the Americans who are stubborn.”

Without turning my head, I answer: “Stereotypes are ways to dig yourself into a hole of assumptions. Goodnight, Ms. Shelby.”

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

The joke demon is here

And remember that Exsotica in the red light district that people make wild rumors that the most beautiful and enchanting oran is a kind yokai or something

Liked it started by one of the low rank ladies and as they where getting harassed by a costumer Exsotica open the sliding door without her veil/hat as it a rare for them to do and it scared the costumer out and made sure they are alright while giving them her ready made remedies out of her kimono sleeves; due to Exsotica keep on getting gifts she something share or give to the other girls ( Daki gets some nice hair ornaments and silks to be safe )

Or

Some of the kids or servants who works around the area sometimes sneek to an area that the rumored Exsotica tends to go when she have free time and say if you hear her sing with bunch of cats with her you get good luck, say a poor traveler who hear her sing as they are there to get medicine for a love one and they got it the same day, or maybe someone hear her sing and they gotten some money bonus as they where struggling

Exotica | Rumors

Rumors are bound to spread when you’re the talk of the town

Both the girls and the consumers that continue to fight for the chance to so much as get a glance at you

The girls may start it first, purposely spreading your medicinal and business prowess where many will hear

Is it kind of scummy

Yes

But it certainly helps when you happen to solve these problems

You can’t fix everything and the rumors of you being a yokai help with that

“Oh, Exotica must have been punishing you for something!”

But I doubt the girls would genuinely believe this 

Having access to you directly certainly changes their view of you

Some may think you’re a descendant or a reincarnation of some benevolent yokai

But for the most part, they gather that you’re just an immaculate human

Because despite your fame and accomplishments they see you’re humanity

The corners you continue to bang your hip against 

Or the flowers you like so much triggering allergies

They see you for you 

Admiring the things that you do even when no one is watching

But for those who look from the outside 

You can be anything yokai, angel, demon

Whether fantasizing about your singing, your dancing, painting, heck even your accounting

Your hobbies are a blessing for both those in the know and the ones who are left fantasizing from afar:

Rukia listened. Something she couldn’t help but do in a place as busy as the Yukaku District. It was exhausting to constantly hear every creak, every whisper, every scream while she was doing her job. The glorious occupation of being a handmaiden for The Exotica! It meant many things including hearing the various rumors and gossip stemming from the house you are in. 

“Did you hear Exotica gave that one guest a cure for their illness.”

“But that couldn’t be the medicine they produce? Its supposed to be a minor assistant in creating some much needed antibodies.”

“Shuuush! You’re so boring! Can’t you just let it be?It just makes people more eager to visit.”

“Why you–”

Hearing the girls giggle as they walked through the hallways Rukia also could hear the gasp of a client. Before watching the man scurry out the house, no doubt to share whatever he took from that. She shook her head continuing on her route to the linen closet, earlier she had been tasked with changing Exotica’s sheets. It was an honor to do something like this, especially since so many degenerates were willing to pay for them.

Passing by the various rooms tending to the guests that bled into the early morning, the whispers of your name were just about everything she could pick up. It was a normal occurrence that even guests who would pay for others would still ask about you, it was what exalted your name all the more. 

But it didn’t compare to seeing the real thing. The real (Y/n) behind Exotica being just as fulfilling. Speaking of, Rukia arrived to your room which was meant to be unoccupied only to find her master humming in the silence of the room. At a time where you should be preparing to rest you were humming. Letting your head sway to an unfamiliar tune just letting yourself run on the tired musings to let you go. 

Rukia decided she’ll stagger her steps if only to give you the moment to be yourself.

It's her greatest honor...to keep you happy.

[verdemoun]

is there some info about your timewarp au that you really wanna talk about?? if so i am all ears

bless one of the core timewarp au scenes is really the moment they are all just settled and okay and don't really know when it happened but realizing yes this is good this is the life we were meant to have the gang together again

it was meant to be one of their usual family bbq gatherings but grimshaw couldn't get out of work and in no man left behind fashion they decided they would crash the bar. open mic night

sean and lenny meant to be singing a ballad to their respective wives but instead just staring at each other while karen and jenny are entirely amused/delighted over how in love they are with each other. most wholesome dynamic

jack being too young to buy drinks and grimshaw not willing to lose her liquor license for him. big bossy rule enforcing queen entirely undermined by isaac persistently buying himself double shots and slight of hand sliding them to jack until they are both plastered.

hosea just being old this is post 1911 gang warping so he is approaching 70 bessie is retired they are sitting in a comfortable booth enjoying pub meals and whiskey watching their massive family be happy but also just in their own loved up world where they are the only two people that exist

someone with a spray bottle trying to keep javier and kieran off each other for 10 minutes ffs there's children present

john thinking he is the best parent letting his daughter sip beer while abigail yells at him because she's only like 8. he argues they were both already drinking at that age. fighting like an old married couple but also can't stay mad at each other. abigail rolling her eyes but smiling as john kisses her. addie jr helped herself to a whole beer while they were fighting

arthur and charles both responsible adults still getting white girl silly drunk. tripping over each other cackling arthur trying to catch charles and instead completely faceplanting himself. drunk dancing together not realizing they are the center of attention

micah and bill leaning on the bar having the 'why are you gay' 'who says i'm gay' 'you are gay' but also micah in a trying to be a better person/must prove he is the best at everything giving bill dating tips despite being the worst straight man in history

dutch being allowed to come along (molly and her wife were busy being lesbians elsewhere. if molly is coming dutch is not invited (for His safety, not hers)) dutch having a few too many drinks and slipping into 'y'know maybe we could overthrow the government' and annabelle having to play babysitter 'No Dutch'. Hosea still likes listening to Dutch's tangents he may have his arms around his wife but he is just smiling affectionately listening to Dutch go off

no one realizing just how happy but also out of hand things are getting until jake adler pulls out the fiddle playing live music while his beautiful immaculate stunning spectacular bisexual wife sadie adler sings hell's coming with me. everyone just vibing until she switches the line to 'then colm o'driscoll was hanging by a rope'. hollering cheering screaming drinks being raised noise complaints being filed it is never too late to celebrate colm's execution

poor eliza pulling out the 'oh arthur' as she tries to get arthur, charles, isaac and jack home because they are all blind drunk. john having to help force them all into the car. jack and isaac are attached at the hip he is going home with them

also drunk jack going through absolute swings and roundabouts one second it's 'fuck you dad i'm gonna start my own gang with blackjack and hookers' isaac in the distance 'fuck yeah sex work is real work' only to be 'i'm sorry i let you down and i made mistakes and i keep making mistakes' as john carries him over his shoulder to the car. john very tentatively trying to assure him he didn't let him down and it's just further proof he is his son and that he's sorry jack inherited making the same dumb mistakes from him

uncle eating every single bowl of peanuts at the bar and falling asleep in a booth. grimshaw still closing and locking down the bar with him still inside to try and teach him a lesson

[driftward]

Title: FFXIV Write 2024 - 24. Bar (Another Take) Characters: Zoissette Vauban, Aymeric de Borel Rating: Teen Summary: Zoissette catches Aymeric up on everything he's missed, including telling him about her new relationship. Notes: WoL|Sette timeline. I realised I never established the earring in her WoL timeline and well

Aymeric was one of the first people Zoissette went to visit after she returned from the First. He had been a stalwart ally of the Scions. They needed to talk about the developing situation in Garlemald, probably, since that would definitely affect Ishgard. He was a dear friend of hers. Their courtship may have fallen apart, but it had made for a stronger bond between the two, not a lesser one.

And also she simply had to tell him the news.

She showed off her new earring to her, two black carnations, with two little pearls dangling from them on silvery chains. It was beautiful, and was now her most precious possession.

"A symbol," she said. "Of Y'shtola and I dedicating ourselves to be bonded."

"Congratulations," he said warmly. "You two deserve each other, and deserve the world. I couldn't be happier for you."

"It is definitely the best relationship I have ever had," said Zoissette, looking down and fiddling her fingers together. "She has been with me for so many years, and I admire so much about her... and she feels much the same of me. I hope you do not find it offensive for me to say so."

"While you do indeed have my heartfelt congratulations and I offer you my assurance that I share your outlook, that your relationship with that woman is the best thing that I think has ever happened to you, I do want to say... best relationship? That is a terribly low bar to clear given your history, Sette. And I shall not take offense if you will return the favor."

"I feel like I should take some offense on your behalf! We were good together. Not great, but... it was nice, for a time."

"Ah yes," he said, dryly. "The very image of two upright Ishgardian citizens, courting as the Holy See claimed Halone intended. Keeping each other carefully at arms length, coquettishly fluttering our eyelashes across the table at one another. Never revealing our true feelings, playing our proper roles, showing up to balls and dancing terribly."

"Sharing lovely meals, talking about our respective interests-"

"While not being truly interested in said interests I am sorry Lady Vauban but I could not keep up with half your discussions on mathematics or aetherology."

"-nor I on the particulars of terrible High House rivalries and petty politics but we did not dance that terribly."

"Sette I did not know how to tell you this at the time, but all of the dances you knew were horrifically out of date."

"Oh."

"Coerthan, I believe? From perhaps a few dozen years ago?"

"... Riversmeet was not exactly avant-garde."

"Rearguard even perhaps."

"You certainly had no complaints about my rear. Or my oral technique."

"If there is one regret I have about the ending of our courtship, it is the loss of that talented tongue. I can only hope that I learned something from the experience that I may pass on to my next partner."

Zoissette smiled smugly at him.

"I do not miss how you get when you are insufferably correct on a matter, though."

"Of course not, since it never happens that I am wrong."

"Telling lies in Halon's city? I cannot believe you."

Zoissette just hummed smugly at him, and after a moment, they both broke into laughter.

"Seriously though. Back to the matter at hand, which is this... congratulations. I can think of no union that could be any more blessed in the eyes of the Fury, and I hope I can look forward to an invitation to the bonding ceremony, whatsoever form it takes, and wherever it shall occur."

Zoissette sighed. "Of course, though I do not know yet. Something which I need to talk to her about. We have very different backgrounds, I am certain we will have very different ideas on what is right and proper. I am sure she knows enough about how we do things in Ishgard, but I have precious little idea about the traditions and culture of the Jaguar tribe. Or she may even want to follow the rites of the Night's Blessed. Or perhaps something else altogether. I just do not know."

"Night's Blessed?"

"A community that took her in on the First."

"Ah. I see." Aymeric hummed thoughtfully. "Well, this actually does explain much about a missive that preceded you by mere bells."

"Oh?"

"Well, I was not going to mention it. Discretion being the better part and all that, you know. But I think you two should, in fact, have that conversation. Rather sooner than later. And perhaps with each other instead of through me."

"...Aymeric?"

"You see, I have in my possession a latter from one Lady Y'shtola Rhul, asking me for advice."

"What sort of advice?"

Aymeric smiled at Zoissette, a twinkle in his eyes.

"Advice on the proper way to go about courting one Ser Zoissette Vauban, in accordance with the traditions and manner of a proper Ishgardian noble who wishes to make a good impression, both upon the lady and her family. Along with any, shall we say, hints I might be able to provide on said noblewoman's preferences in the same."

Zoissette blinked at him, several times, and her mouth hung slightly open, and Aymeric laughed.

"Ah, now that is a rare sight, and one which I rather enjoy more," said Aymeric. "Zoissette Vauban, flummoxed."

She snapped her jaw shut, frowned, and crossed her arms at him, sticking her nose in the air, but that only caused him to laugh more. And then laugh even more when he noticed the twitch of the side of her mouth as she valiantly resisted joining in.

Zoissette sniffed in mock disdain, but then dropped the act. "She really asked for that?"

"Indeed," said Aymeric. "I believe she not only takes this most seriously, but if I had to guess - and to be clear, I am guessing - I think she is doing this for your benefit, Sette."

He reached over, and took one of her hands, clasping it in his, and he smiled warmly at her. "And if I had any doubts that she deserved you, I think such a gesture would dash them to nothingness. I do not know her as well as you, of course, but we did interact much, from the Shiva matter all the way up to the Alexander incident. She never minced her words, or made any pretense at her lack of tolerance for those parts of Ishgard she disdained. I still recall her choice words over finding out about the Witchdrop, and her sharp opinions on the old system of trial by combat.

"And yet, she is willing to take up at least some of our traditions. For you."

Zoissette felt her eyes water, and not knowing what to say, said nothing, just wiped her face with the back of her free hand. Aymeric pulled her in to a tight hug, and she returned the gesture.

"You are well loved, Zoissette," he said. "And thank you for sharing that with me."

"How could I not?" she sniffled into his shoulder. "You are one of my dearest friends. Thank you, Aymeric."

"Now," he said, breaking the hug, and patting her on the shoulder. "Tell me all about your adventures on the First. I am eager to hear of what our Warrior of Light has been up to."

Smiling, Zoissette walked along with him, and began to tell him the tale of all that had passed, sparing no embellishment as to the Scions' accomplishments, and making sure to fill him in especially on how she had come to appreciate and learn again the depths of one Master Matoya.

[rom-e-o]

Scrooge having a vivid dream where he comes face to face with the young, heartbroken version of himself and they have a conversation concerning wifey. Probably goes something like:

Young Scrooge: Does this ache ever go away?

Scrooge: Yes. But not for a long time. We hold onto it and bury it before we finally find the strength to let it go.

Young Scrooge: ... Is there life after Isabel?

Scrooge: At first, there is only survival. But eventually, yes, there is life. Good life. Thriving life. A life we never dared to dream we'd ever be able to have, even with Isabel.

Young Scrooge: Does Isabel ever return?

Scrooge: Not to us. She found the happiness she deserved elsewhere, and we are happy for her.

Young Scrooge: Is there... is there ever anyone else?

Scrooge: *smiling* Yes. Although not for some time, buy yes.

Young Scrooge: Wh-What is she like?

Scrooge: Wonderful, awe-inspiring, breathtakingly beautiful inside and out. We are beyond blessed to have her.

Young Scrooge: Do we love her?

Scrooge: To maddening distraction. We strive to be worthy of her, every day.

Young Scrooge: Is she anything like Isabel?

Scrooge: In some ways, there are similarities: her passionate spirit and gentle heart, her cheeky smirk, her freckles--shadows of qualities that drew us to Isabel. But she is her own person, her own unique woman with attributes all her own that continue to make us fall more deeply, fully, and madly in love with her every day, in ways we had never been able to with Isabel. And we are made all the better for it.

Young Scrooge: And... does she love us?

Scrooge: With a passion as fiery as the sun. She keeps our home; she carries and bears our children; she fights and strives by our side every day to help make our visions and dreams for the future a reality.

Young Scrooge: ... Do we... ever tell her "later"?

Scrooge: We would sooner die a thousand deaths.

Ouuugh, this is so good.

You know, Young Scrooge and Older Scrooge having a chance to talk face-to-face is such a fascinating concept. They'd have SO MUCH to discuss, good and bad.

And of course Young Scrooge asks about love. This may be right after he lost Isabel, and his heat is still so sore. Even when he tries to push the pain down or drown out the thoughts with more and more work, he can't help but wonder ... what if she was it? What is she was the only person worth living for, and he basically shoved her aside?

To hear that Isabel found happiness with another is bittersweet. He can't even help but to ask "Is she like Isabel?" Almost like he still can't imagine a life without her. ;;

And him asking, "Do we love her?" ... almost hoping, praying for that release from his current sorrow.

Then, "Does she love us?" As if he can't believe he's worthy of that love, or being loved again. Like, he trusts his older self. Is is true? Is her ... truly not past all hope? Is it possible? "She keeps our home; she carries and bears our children; she fights and strives by our side every day to help make our visions and dreams for the future a reality." MY HEARRRT. that's them - the wifeys.

Young Scrooge being rendered speechless by that. He ... has children? He finds the courage to make that leap, even after what happened with Jen? And that he's not a terrible man like his father, leaving his family loveless to fend for themselves?

IMAGINE how freeing that must feel for him to know.

[pinkrangermemes]

RED SHOES & THE SEVEN DWARFS

please watch this movie, it's delightful. feel free to change pronouns and such when needed

"A magical land of princes and princesses, witches and monsters."

"Accidents and strange events happen all the time."

"We thought she was a witch. Sooo... we attacked her, but we were wrong."

"Everything changed the day we slayed a dragon and saved a princess."

"She wasn't a witch. She was a princess. The fairy princess!"

"How were we supposed to know!"

"So, anyway, she wanted to teach us a lesson, so she placed a curse on us, and this was a nasty one."

"And the only way to break the curse is to get a kiss from the most beautiful woman in the world."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? With THIS face!"

"Not again! How long must I wait!"

"Oh, pull yourself together."

"Huh. That wasn't there before."

"What is she up to now?"

"I can't believe my beloved daughter, ____, has turned 18."

"They said she was a witch, but she was too beautiful to be a witch."

"People around the castle have been disappearing, one by one."

"I should send _____ away to a safer place."

"Apples. The most suspicious of fruits."

"But they don't look dangerous."

"Green is like an ogre."

"Quit your complaining, _____!"

"I'm figuring out how to take this curse and kick it where the sun don't shine!"

"What was that, some kind of bird?"

"Magic mirror, full of wisdom, who's the fairest in the kingdom?"

"Inside note, wisdom and kingdom don't really rhyme."

"Cut the sass, and tell me her name!"

"Magic is just my first name. It's short for Magichard, like Richard."

"What can you do then?"

"Perhaps you should recruit another. Someone who stands to gain from your success."

"Let's not jump to conclusions."

"Yes, it could be a witch, but... Yeah, it's a witch."

"Wands where I can see'em, witch!"

"Fraulein! I baked you some revenge!"

"I have six roommates, but my name is on the lease."

"Wow. I look so... different."

"Oh, my gosh! What happened to me?"

"Is that... really what I look like? In the mirror, you see the same thing?"

"Obviously. I mean, I am a princess."

"Nah, that _____ isn't your type. You seem more like a _____ fan to me."

"Honestly, none of them are really my type."

"How can I assist you, my fair lady?"

"I need to find my father, and I know _____ can help."

"Leave it me. I'll find your father within the month."

"I already found your father like two weeks ago!"

"I just need a few days to get him across state lines."

"No one's offered to help me in such a long time..."

"I think I hit her too hard..."

"Who is coming to my birthday party?"

"If she's not gonna sleep, she can come to a party!"

"I DEMAND glorious guests!"

"I couldn't be anymore unpopular!"

"Finally! Someone talking sense!"

"Fear not, loyal hag!"

"I, Prince _____, shall find this fugitive and make her pay for her crimes--by making her attend my birthday party!"

"No! Whatever it is, I haven't seen it! Now, please, go away!"

"Hate to zap you, _____, but I need to impress a beautiful woman."

"_____, stop putting yourself in danger!"

"I see that light at the end of the funnel. Time for me to kick butt in heaven. I had a good run. Hashtag blessed."

"Seriously _____, you need to find a better way to hit on girls."

"Stand back. I may have to risk my life again."

"Where have you been? Something awful could've happened to _____ if I hadn't shown up!"

"You shouldn't go into the forest by yourself. It's a nightmarish landscape fit for only the finest warriors, like myself... and squirrels."

"Oh, I am so sorry. That was... much slappier than I intended it to be."

"To break this curse, we've got to work as a tightly knit team. Which means you do everything I say."

"You took your shot, you got slapped."

"A half baked plan is better than none!"

"It says: do not attempt to remove by force."

"I like a girl who can keep things classified."

"Who said you could leave your post?"

"I'm just walking the bunny."

"There's no need to push me into a corner. This is super scary."

"Are you a criminal!?"

"Just let me know what you want. Anytime. For the rest of your life."

"I don't want your jewels, only your good intentions."

"Ugh, it's that loser, Prince _____."

"Don't troll me, troll."

"Can we get this over with? They're just dwarves!"

"Gentleman, he surrenders."

"I! Shall! Return! On Tuesday. No, wait, let me check my clandarrrr.... Thursday."

"You always talk about what someone looks like."

"I think I can see the real you, and I like you. Just as you are."

"You're a gift. A gift that will transform me into someone amazing, just like you're amazing."

"Nope! Stand back! I got this! One... Two... Okay, yeah, I need help."

"This kingdom has a serious monster problem!"

"What do they want besides smashing us!"

"Take a look, _____! I have triumphantly saved the day!"

"You're going after _____ yourself?"

"By the time I figured out _____ was a witch, _____ had already disappeared."

"If I had given up their magic, you wouldn't have helped me find my father, would you?"

"I'm talking about the kind of spell you never want to break."

"I just wonder what I would have done if I'd seen the real _____."

"Seriously? It's still all about appearances for you?"

"Those are bears."

"If you think you've humiliated, embarrassed, and otherwise frustrated me... you're right."

"Sweet lord, please end this."

"You've torn apart my family, and you will not get away with it, _____!"

"What's going to happen to her?"

"It's a good day to break a curse."

"You're the most beautiful woman in the world, whether my eyes are open or closed."

[where-dreamers-go]

"Eragonson" Eragon x Fem!Reader

(A/N: Requested by Anon. Thank you for your cute request of Eragon and Reader having a newborn son. I really hope you like it. Warnings: Minor angst. Fluff. Word Count: 1,143 words)

New life and changes were important. Each moment could lead to a new experience and expanding knowledge.

The tiny new being in Eragon’s life brought in more love.

Time had seemingly gone by faster. Almost dreamlike for the Dragon Rider.

It had almost been a full week since a son was born. Yours and Eragon’s little joy in a world with dragons and magic. A new human still getting used to the sounds of the world around him; among other senses.

For the time being, he hadn’t been carried out of the living area much. He was much too young.

That was fine by Eragon. It was easier to keep an eye on him and you. Yet the Rider was still nervous holding his infant son, especially if he had to walk across the room. A bundle of gurgles so precious and delicate in his arms. He felt the weight of responsibility each day.

What always shook Eragon from his thoughts?

A dirty diaper. Oh, what a blessing and a curse those cloths were for a multitude of reasons.

Eragon Shadeslayer was almost always on diaper duty. It was the least he could do. It didn’t take nearly as long to clean and change the infant as it used to. Practice and learning came hand in hand. He just learned how to hold his breath longer, much to the amusement to both you and Saphira.

It was an action needed and in the end he did not mind; not when his son gave a small smile. He sweared that his heart grew with each one.

“You’re all smelly,” Eragon would tell the smiling infant. “Do you know your little bottom smells? You might need a bath.”

Eragon hoped he was doing all right. He hoped you both were good enough parents. There weren’t any examples nearby to study. But you had each other. He had you.

You, his brave, intelligent, strong, and beautiful partner were recovering. No tasks for you. No straining yourself. There was only taking care of your own needs, your healthy baby boy, and making sure Eragon had encouragement. He and Saphira could handle the rest, including caring for you when needed.

“I’m so proud of you,” said Eragon, half in a daze as he watched you cuddle your infant to your chest.

“You keep saying that.”

“Because it’s true. You’re so strong.” His brown eyes looked to the baby. “He’s strong because of you.”

Your recovery would take time as would the baby’s growth to support his own head. As was life.

With all of the happiness came new fear.

The Dragon Rider and his dragon had become even more protective than prior to the birth of your son. An Eragonson. You were in no condition to fight off any attack if one had managed to get close enough.

What about a ward against sickness? Eragon inquired to Saphira.

There are many in multiple forms. Do you wish to stop them all? It would use too much energy.

Eragon scratched at his hand absentmindedly. You’re right. What about detection? Being able to detect a sickness off of clothing could be helpful. He suggested to which Saphira mulled it over.

It may very well be useful for others as well.

We can check more of what we bring in. He added, satisfied with the idea. Mentally, he grouped it with the few that could be used within reason.

Ignoring the parchment on his desk, Eragon sat back in his chair.

He could have trouble with the stairs when he starts walking, Eragon thought. Would adding—

“Eragon,” you called softly, interrupting them.

You just knew the pair were talking, it was a skill you picked up.

“Yes?” He turned in the seat.

“Can you hold him, please?” You asked and used your chin to gesture to the infant grabbing at your clothes. “I need to go.”

“Oh.”

Moving swiftly, Eragon made his way to the bed near Saphira’s nest. He sat down slowly as to not jostle you and the baby.

Gently passing your son to Eragon, you said, “I’ll be right back. Give your father some love.”

The infant had a strong grasp of your clothes that impressed the Rider as he delicately freed you to leave. A small complaint left the baby.

“It’s me,” Eragon cooed. “I’ve been way over there working.” He cradled his son to his chest.

“Ah.”

“I know. It’s not much fun.” He chuckled to himself.

Holding his son, Eragon recognized the paternal instincts within him. Something still so new and powerful.

With a light touch, he swept the fine hair on the baby’s head to the side.

His son reacted by grabbing for the Rider’s index finger, to which was allowed. All tiny fingers grasping around one of Eragon’s.

The sight took hold of his very being.

This is real, Eragon thought to himself. He’s here.

After many months of waiting and preparing, Eragon was a father. A parent growing a family with you.

My family.

Beside him, Saphira craned her neck to level a large gleaming eye to see the infant.

One day you shall be chasing him through these halls, Saphira spoke warmly in Eragon’s mind.

I want to show him the crops we harvest. He might want to play in them. He smiled at the image.

“Uhhoo.”

“Would you play in the mud after the summer rains?” Eragon asked playfully to the attentive baby who was pointing at Saphira.

I would certainly tear apart a forest for the tiny one.

Let’s hope it never comes to that. Eragon thought back to when he had hurt his hand so many years ago and she had reacted similarly, but much fiercer in the moment.

How time went by in a blink of an eye.

At sounds of soft padding on the floor, Eragon glanced up to see you smiling.

“What?”

“It makes me so very happy to see my family.” You begun walking over. “You’re very handsome between a gorgeous dragon and the cutest baby, you know.”

A long chuckle vibrated through him.

“I was wondering where your laugh went,” you sat down on the bed.

“What do you mean?”

They know, little one.

“Some of the wards you set up before you leave the room are very powerful, Eragon. Some tickle the air.”

“Do they bother you?”

“No.” You kissed his shoulder. “But if you worry so much, you’ll miss out on what’s right in front of you. Who is right in front of you and needing you to be a father.”

Sighing, he looked to his son who was wiggling at the sound of your voice.

Their words are wise. Saphira blinked as she too watched the infant.

I know.

“You’re right.”

“I know.” You smirked and lightly poked your baby’s tummy.

Curious hands reached for you. Just like his father.

~~~

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Best wishes and happy reading.)

~~~~~

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