#“it's easier for y'all 2 just call me ness”

[sapsolais]

,

[indigocloudofnarcolepsy]

I got tagged by @tough-girl9 to list my top 7 comfort films which turned into a top 8

I'm more of a comfort song type, so that was a tough (girl) one

1.: Treasure Planet

I adore this movie! I loved it when I was smaller and I love it now. The only reason I didn't watch it to death was the fact that I lost the DVD. It's gorgeous and although the main premise is space pirates thanks to the focus on the characters it feels grounded and easier to relate to or to feel simpathy towards them. Besides Jim Hawkins being a childhood crush I could always relate to him. The feeling of being lost, aimless and the words

"- I can't watch you throw away your future like that!

- What future?"

always spoke to me. It's not an edge and teen angst fest tho, John Silver and his speech is both in character and always chokes me up and gives me hope that there are pathes that could lead to the future I want and that I wasn't abled to see.

It's the perfect movie for those who feel lost or confused and want to sail to far away planets from their current situation, those who want to be understood and given hope to.

(I could gush about the art and animation and characters for hours, but this is not the time)

Amazing background music and the songs fit well with the steampunk-ish style of the movie

2.: Ratatouille

A family classic. We even have the ps2 game and it's one of those rarities which my family could watch anytime. Besides being beautiful and having a 10/10 aesthetic (and a huge dose of food p0®π) it's a grounded movie.

The premise is as feaver dream-y and goofy as it gets. A rat learns english (or french? The movie takes place in Paris but it's either confusing or I'm just a dum dum) and thanks to an imaginary friend version of his chef idol ends up in his restaurant and makes a deal with the garbage boy of whom the chef thinks can cook and reluctantly agrees give him another chance to make the soup that was actually made by (fixed by) the rat aka Remy. So the boy Linguini and Remy has to team up where it seems like Linguini is making the soup but he is actually in Remy's control.

But the movie is actually about being an artist and coming from an unexpected place and being surrounded by people who don't support you or believe in you even if they were just trying to protect you or think that it's the best for you.

Fellow artists could definetly appreciate the movie. Whether you croche, draw, animate, sculpt, dance, act or do any kind of art I would absolutely recommend.

Le Festin is great and is on loop during dinner

Warning: get food ready because you WILL get hungry. Even if it's just bread this movie will make it taste like garlic bread just you wait

3.: Strange Magic

It's one of the controversial ones. Not everyone likes it and a lot hate it but that's okay.

It's one of those films where either you praise it to death or wonder which deeper layer of hell did it crawled out of. There is no in between. I'm one from the first category. Even my IT teacher called it a classic and I roped most of my friend group into the SM cult.

It has a certain tumblr aesthetic and feels like a fanficrion the best way possible. One of those where altho something unsuspected happens it's written well, the characters are in character it's finished and the grammar is proper as well.

It's a jukebox musical which is one of my fauvorite kind of musical, the covers are amazing and damn they can change up the originals songs aesthetic to it's opposite so damn well (Trouble - Elvis Presley)

It centers around love and I ain't no shipper nor romantic but even I was gushing over the main couple which is spoiler alert so that's all you get

I absolutely adore how the characters express themselves with their wings and body! I'm all about feelings and expressions!

So try it out and even if you don't like it you're allowed to stop. And if you like it: welcome to the fandom in this house we respect Marianne, the Bog King is a snack and must protect Dawn at all cost!

(this is a pick me up movie for me the other two more of a shoulder to cry on)

Speaking of crying

4.: The Little Prince

Not gonna lie I was extremely suspicious of this movie. I immediately categorised it as a cheap cash grab which only use sonething known and beloved because it's known and beloved so people will buy.

I expected the Emoji Movie, I got the LEGO Movie.

This movie. Hoo boy, this movie. You know, it's nothing, I only cried 4 times after all!

It's so respectful towards the material it's given. So heartfelt and creative and artistic! It's the Little Prince sequel that fits well in modern times.

In this film the Little Prince is a story that an old man tells his new young girl of a neighbour. Both of them needed a friend and it's one of those unexpected duos where the girl is forced to be mature way too early and the man is way too childish so they balance each other out and the man gives the girl (I can't remember their names god damn it) the breath of fresh air she needed.

This movie is so damn cute! I mentioned a shoulder to cry on movies and pick me up movies, this one is both! It's a bittersweet dream!

You are going to cry. So get ready.

5.: Hunchback of Notre Dame

Oh man oh God oh man oh God oh man

I'm obsessed with this movie (and musical)

It's dark and mature and definetly a-shoulder-to-cry-on movie. I love and relate to Quasimodo. Altho I'm not deformed I was always the weird girl everyone picked on and hated and I still can't understand why. I think I'm a perfectly normal person but when my mom calls me a freak/eccentric behind my back and my aunt gives me a gift with the words "since you looked nothing like the other girls on your prom..." I... I'm just more confused honestly. I'm always so damn tired and basically a hermit so thanks to that Out There hit way too close to home.

Esmeralda is a 10/10 role modell. She is a beautiful soul inside and outside. And she's romani. Which is the most hated minority in my country.

The movie deals with lust, abusive and manipulative parents, racism, religion, "ugly"ness, lonelyness. These might sound repelling but to see something similar happen to you/a character looking/being/sounding like you is worth more than life, honestly. Unless you can live through this kinship with a character, you have no idea how needed this is.

(I cried so hard watching The Grinch (2018) since I used to have Panic disorder and I'm an anxious person to see him being scared the way I do and to fiddle with his fingers and think like I do was the most comforting thing I felt in my life)

This movie is so damn gorgeous. I know I said that to almost every movie in this list but this is a biblical epic gorgeous. And of course, Hellfire is THE best Diney villain song FIGHT ME I'M RIGHT

The musical is even darker and more serious but damn it's worth a watch. It's on youtube.

6. Brother Bear

This movie is *drumroll* gorgeous. Each movie on this list is gorgeous in different ways. This is nature-gorgeous.

Pick me up movie, definetly. It's mostly adorable but they tap into some meaningful things and there are tragedies happening, my dude!

Like Hunchback of Notre Dame the main subject is "who is the monster and who is the man?". This movie shows some perspective, I tell you!

7.: Coco

I know the hungarian translation by heart

It's very family oriented, so if you don't have any or have a bad realtionship with it, this movie will give you a heartache

This movie takes place in Mexico and explores parts of mexican culture.

I adore and am interested in different cultures, folklore, tradition and religion so I was head over heels really quick with this movie!

Gorgeous imagery and music. Heartfelt, that last Remember Me WILL get you

8.: The Croods

Y'ALL

I know, it looks like a movie that made only for kids. But dude! It's about family, change and how people deal with it. It takes place in an alternative world, where animals we know are mixed together (MOUSELEFANT!! CROCO DOGGO!!) the most adorable way possible and it takes place in prehistoric times.

Oh god, this movie is full of feelings and gorgeous imagery! Pick me up, definetly! Of course, it's full of jokes but they are so witty to me!

Sorry, I got impatient by the end of it

I would tag people if I would know anyone well in this site. The 2 people I want to tag: is already tagged me and the other one is probably too busy

[littledragonlily]

TMI: Oversharing

((Trigger warning: mentions of self harm, r@pe, abuse, drugs, alcohol, suicide, body dysmorphia, mental illness, ...um, a lot, actually, so please please think about this before reading ahead. My life's a mess tbh. Will put an * (or many, if bad bad) by the numbers of anything with potentially bad triggers just in case..)) Credit to one of my mutuals, after reading their oversharing post, I felt like writing my own might actually be cathartic for me, so thank you mutual (no name callout because they may not be comfortable with that). 1. I actually have zero idea about who I am when I'm on my own. I've felt this way for years and only recently has it been recognized/taken seriously. 2. My father and three siblings are all on the autism spectrum in varying degrees. The question hangs if I am too, I show similar signs, but I don't care enough to find out. 3. I cycle through obsessive behaviors. Collecting things, couponing, certain games; luckily it has never landed on an unhealthy addiction so far, but it scares me that it might. 4*. I have been self destructive for 7+ years. (For clarification, I'm 21 going on 22 currently.) My arm is white lines and long story short, I cannot wear shorts above my knees anytime soon, or anything less than a one-piece bathing suit to cover my torso. 5*. My arms are healed because I was relentlessly picked on by an abusive ex and my own father when I wore it on my sleeves, so to speak.. I hide it now. My dad still doesn't know I started doing it again and I plan on keeping it that way. 6****. Callout to my ex I mentioned above. Because of him, I get ptsd episodes if I'm under the water even a second too long, forbid I'm being held down even playfully. He took whatever he wanted, including my current peace of mind in relationships. I've been trying to escape the damage he caused for 5 years. 7****. Callout to friends/another ex I trusted that would not take no for an answer, especially the one that took me as I cried for him to stop. 8*. By all normative standards, I'm wickedly smart. I had the military branches beating down my door from my perfect aptitude test scores (no studying, mind you, I wing tests), and if not for mental issues stealing my motivation to try, I could've been in my top ten graduating from high school easily. However..no one wants to take a damaged "genius" so..yeah. 9. I have so so so many ideas of what I want to do with my life, but I'm viciously afraid of stepping foot outside of my not-so-comfy-but-good-enough bubble. 10*. I am professionally diagnosed with major depressive disorder, general anxiety disorder, and dependent personality disorder. That list may grow when I actually trust the psychiatrist enough to tell them Everything™. 11. If I don't push myself to hang out with my friends/favorite people, and it has to be because THEY want ME, I will quite literally spend all day in my bed during my time off. Even finding the motivation to clean my room and pay my bills (spoiler, I usually don't) is just..improbable. 12*. I have two, count them one-two, people that are even close to knowing Everything™ about me. (Unfortunate spoiler: they've both done things that they sometimes use against each other to make me question my faith in them.) I love them both, which causes me immense guilt because they both want to keep me Forever™ (also know to me as until they get tired of my..Me-ness.) and right now I'm just wondering how long of Forever™ I'll actually be alive for. 13. Speaking of immense guilt, hi, it's because I've hurt mentioned people both more than they admit to. I didn't mean to I'm sorry I really didn't just I just how do you not depend on someone that you were engaged to but also how do you not depend on someone that actually gets you and is your carer and you actually get along with everyone in their system and ahhhh fjdjfhdjrbd I'm sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.. 14. Sorry, sorry.. I'm back. Kinda? Anyway.. I feel like a split person, kinda. I have different aspects of myself that handle different things and I have names for them, but I would NOT call myself a system at this point, I would just say I am compartmentalizing and personifying certain aspects of my personality. It just feels easier, yeah? I try to stick to the ones people love best (Mama(carer)-me, Lily(regressed)-me, and Belle(work)-me). My carer is the only person "acquainted" with all of Me™ by name. 15. I only always get along with one person in my house, which is my little sister, Hannah. She has a degenerative disorder and has her own special way of communicating. But as far as I can tell, I'm one of her favorite people, and that makes me super happy actually. 16. So I got derailed on number 13 because that's such a touchy subject. Mostly because I'm forced to choose between the two of them because of societal norms/their feelings/some other reasons here, and in my head and heart I'm so dependent on them both it hurts. (Lately, however, I've been more dependent on my carer.) 17****. Possible reasons I shouldn't be dependent on ex-fiancé person: Has hit me in a "black-out rage" previously (isolated, non-recurring, however I have my days of questioning would I trigger that again..), can be incredibly argumentative if my word choice is incorrect expressing my issues (bad to the point it has triggered me to self-harm), and has forced my indecisive self into making a decision in the midst of a six-hour crying/panicked episode. Also can be neglectful as a person to depend on at times, a little more self-centered than he realizes most of the time, etc. 18****. Possible reasons I shouldn't be dependent on my carer person: Lack of respect towards a previous relationship with ex-fiancé ((as in..well.. some unloyal behavior happened while I was drunk/high/sometimes sober and it actually makes me sick that I let that happen.. I disrespected my own relationship oh god I'm horrible I never wanted to be that person I didn't mean to I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..)(okay, okay, calmed down..)), one of his alters is notoriously angry/violent however has recently been more gentle with me after some talks about the fact that anger/arguments/violence/yelling trigger my anxiety badly (I'm a sensitive marshmallow puff y'all, sorry..), I WILL NOT HOLD HIS PAST AGAINST HIM but it sometimes gets in my head a little so I try to talk it out when it does, he does have a bit of dependence on Mary Jane (think green, not a lady) but I don't mind this so much because it's better than alcohol (I helped with that! I helped! Yay!), and there are some times when he doesn't word things well and it'll get to me but I don't see this being intentional honestly. 19*. My past trauma makes me hypersexual, and sometimes I'm incredibly disgusted with myself for being that way. Thankfully though, my regressed self is "too small" for those things and my carer does not fetishize my regressed self, so thankful for that. It is that that caused my initial confusion because I didn't understand that some communities were fetish.. ugh.. 20****. In the past year I have cycled through drinking, smoking, and pills as a short-term "dependence" (I put that in quotes because I feel as if it had been serious I would not have been able to step away so easily). Each one I have quit (drinking is social, and never anywhere near as heavy as it used to be). I occasionally smoke Mary Jane now as it is more effective than my Prozac I'm currently prescribed (will get changed soon, I hope). 21. Physically I have some liver/kidney damage (my fault), scalp psoriasis, chronic acid reflux, chronic pain (fibromyalgia), anemia, cold and hot sensitivity, spleen damage (I'm Epstein-Barr sensitive, aka unfortunately susceptible to mono), and something I don't have a name for that makes me get incredibly weak if I don't have a steady intake of sugar during the day.. (any ideas?) 22. I have a SEVERE phobia of vomit. I can handle the word, stories are iffy, but seeing/smelling/hearing it will trigger a panic attack and when i do it (which is thankfully only once every few years so far) it is incredibly painful and I will NOT eat for days. I will be absolutely food repulsed. I doubt anyone would post anything visual, but if you do and you're reading this, PLEASE I'm begging you, post a warning for me. I'll be eternally thankful. 23. Something lighthearted for once: I will not see a superhero/comic book/Nerdy™ movie that I can't go see without my dad. It's just super important to me. 24****. I hate my appearance while simultaneously being incredibly vain about it (do I make sense? No? Ok). I have dysmorphia, because I swear by a few things (I'm always too big, my skin is always bad, etc etc.) If it were not for my conditions (phobia of vomit, not being able to function without sugar), I'd most likely have an eating disorder. Instead I am in a state of limbo where I hate my body but I won't do anything negative to impact my body image. (Yay?) 25. You now know more about me than most people I know in real life, including my parents and family. Sorry it's so much, thanks for sticking around.