#“it just makes sense because you dont want the girlfriend to be uncomfy!”

[literaturebf]

life could be so good if people could just be normal abt male and female relationships. how are we still acting like this in 2024

[jakesangel]

firsts w jake ꣑୧ - deep dive playfull love w jake

tw// making out, curses, suggestive not proof read

first holding hands

going on walk w you n layla became one of his favorite thing to do since you became his girlfriend. he get to show you off, to hear all of your stories you want to tell him n to introduce you to his other favorite girl. but as the days passes by, the tension coming from walking side by side w hands touching was starting to not be enough for him. he'd often contemplate whether he can just do it or if it makes you uncomfy. tho it shouldnt as you already cuddled n kissed before. so he'd taste the waters, making sure your hands collide more n more. he would look at your face to be sure you aren't backing away or making a face, n as he can only sense you're usual flustered face, he'd sneakily do it wanting to torture you a little. he'd start by softly holding your wrist to slowly envelope your whole inner hand n finally interwhine your fingers. you're so cute when your shy, you know that ?, he'd say as he kisses the bzck of your hands, after you tried to take it away, my previous baby, i'm never letting you go now.

first flirting

jake invited you to eat dinner out but couldn't help but come over earlier to see you get ready. hi- oh wow baby. you look so ? so beautiful tonight, hed exclaim as you open the door. he wouldn't even let you finish put your earring on, but pull you closer to him, taking your hips in his hands, my pretty pretty girl, should we actually go out ? why don't we stay in mh? he wouks say looking right into your eyea, one hands dinally holding your chin up to make you nod. cant let such beauty go outside, dont you agree ? he'd keep on talking, walking inside, closing the door w his foot. you're everything, do you like what you see whne you look at the mirror ? because i love it baby. you're so pretty- fuck, he'd add still going backwards leading you to the couch. once settle on his lap, his hand would do to your lower back n the other one holding ur face, his fingers in between your hair, you know what's wrong w you baby, he'd say approaching his lips to yours, teasing you, as they just graze over your skin, you need kissing badly. that's what's wrong w you. you should be kissed at all times. don't you agree baby ? he would then fully stop, his lips still overing your face waiting for your answer and it's only when you agree that he'd kiss you. but if you don't use them, use your words pretty girl.

first makeout

first make out w him won't start slow. he'd been waiting to have you, on his lap, eager to have his lips, n he isn't ashame to express his needs of you, his too high to hide anyway. but that doesn't mean he will give it way fast, wanting to tease you first for it. come on pretty girl, i told you to use your words, he'd softly say, he would even pretend to retreat his face off of yours, his back going back to the couch. as you finally express your wants consent,there you go pretty girl, knew you could do it, he'd finish w an eager kiss. as the kisses goes by, lots of hmmm so good or fuck you're so perfect baby would be said along w his hands roaming all over you body and fingers dipping in your skin. hearing your whines or your own hums would said him to heaven, needing to see it as well, he'd take breaks to breath to hear them better. even if you go back in for a kiss, he would let you before flirting w you further more, i can't help it pretty girl, he'd say taking your hair in his hands not even caring of your round eyes, you're fun to mess with, as he dive back in the kiss.

first i love you

jake would realized that he loves you after a day well spent together, under his blanket, ready to fall asleep. but, per usual, he can't help but think of you. how beautiful you were today, how your smile n laugh was hitting different today, or even how your touch is even more electrifying. he also feels so munch more different ? even more giddy to see you tomorrow. today felt like a fever dream n he knows he fell in love w you. the more he thinks of it the more he needs to tell you but what if it's too fast for you ? hed stay to sleep on it but he just can't stop thinking about you. he would just keep turning around his bed n do the best thing he can thing off, to call you. hi baby, he'd say w his sleepy voice, i can't seem to sleep tonight. after you'd ask him why, he'd tell you the truth, way to sleepy n in love to think about the consequences, i just can't stop thinking about you baby. i really enjoyed our date today n i just really miss you, sight, can i come see you. is that okay, love ?, hed politeky ask. and as you say yes, he'd pull a hoodie over his naked chest n his closest sneakers to come fast to you, his needs being strong. he wouldn't stop thinking about you as he walks to your place, he just wants you n wants you to know that he wants you. he wants to makes you the happiest girl in the world n the most love n he wants to see that pretty smile of yours. so as you open the front door to him, messy hair n in a random pyjama, he'd think you're the most beautiful you're ever been. oh y/n, he would say as he hugs you so tight you're lifting over the floor, i've missed you so so munch my love. it might be too early for this, n im so sorry if it is, but i just need to say it. i just want you forever y/n. i want to see all of your happy tears n sad tears. i want to be there for you when you don't need it or when you do. i want to be there however you want me to be. i just, sight, as he finally backs away from the hug, i just. i love you y/n. i love all of your. everything about you. i wouldn't want anyone else. he'd finish n his now worried face, round eyes n slight open month, would appear as he realized he actually said it. and if you say it back he couldn't be happier, already smiling bright again, showing his teeth. he would slightly throw you in the air n kiss you. deeply, full of love w a hand on your chin the other on your waist, pulling you closer so you could feel all the love spearing out of him, you make me the happiest, love. i love you.

꣑୧ one week ꣑୧ one year

notes : idk english pt2 #_#

@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @stwrjvke @amouriu @neos127 @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring @pockettwinzz @jwsdoll @heeheeswifey @sjylouvre @txnwvc @oopshee @luvlyhee

[heir-of-the-founders]

So i had this friend freshman/sophmore year of hs and i wanna know if this situation was as,, uncomfy as i think it was or if im just being weird.

So, i had this friend named alex, he was a trans guy, straight i think (into women, at the very least), and he had this huuuuuge crush on this girl named sydney a year older than us. But Sydney is a lesbian, so she wouldn't date alex, bc he man. Fair, makes sense (there can be exceptions to everyones sexuality, and thats fine, but sydney is complicated). So alex decides that if sydney wont date him, he'll become friends to stay close to her.

Well, they get really close, and sydney kinda starts liking him back, but she refuses to date him because hes still a man. Fine, whatever.

But then! Literally a week after they have a convo abt sydney liking him back but bot wanting to date him bc hes a man, alex comes out as nonbinary. Doesnt elaborate at all. Literally just says "im nonbinary now, any pronouns are fine, same name" and wont talk to anyone about it, even me, who was, at the time, one of his closest friends and also out as nonbinary.

And literally 3 days after that happens, him and sydney get together. Sydney (to this day, which is 3 years later bc theyre still together) calls him she, her girlfriend, uses all feminine language, and basically just treats him as a cis woman.

Idk, something about the whole situation really rubbed me the wrong way.

Also, i really dont know how to describe this properly, but sydney was like. Shes the type of gay person who's like "dont worry cishets! 😀 im just like you! 😀😀😀 i just happen to like women instead of men 😀😀😀😀😀"

Like, shes was like. Lite Gay. Gods, i really dont know how to say it without sounding dickish.

Anyway, yea, the whole thing kinda wigged me out, plus they used me as transportation so they could ✨do the nasty✨ multiple times. The did it in my car. And they just. Left me in sydneys dining room while they went upstairs for seggsy time while i just. Stood there and tried to get her cats to let me pet them. It highkey sucked

[movedto-tsotc]

Ah personal project because i don’t draw hands enough, these are the hands of everyone in class 3-1 in my oc school (don’t. concern yourself with it it’s just ocs) - i started this after waking up at like 11pm and it’s 11 am now it’s not been a productive day but! tadah! I’ll be talking about each hand more under the cut

Ageishi Terumi -  - chipped nail polish (she tries to be in tune with her femininity but is practicality over presentation meaning she usually forgets to apply it again after it gets damaged) - scars and burns from combat (Terumi has very little regard for her own safety so ends up with a lot of wounds) - misaligned fingers from being broken in the past (see above!)

Ageishi Tokurou -  - That’s a standard hand honestly - He’s Terumi’s twin brother, they’re almost identical honestly but he isn’t as reckless so his hands aren’t as marked up and broken - His skin’s rather rough and calloused, much as his sister’s is Hattori Zenjirou - - Zen takes good care of his skin so it’s rather. clear.  - His hands are rather long too, surprisingly so. They’re also slender.  - He values his nails a lot as a form of self expression, Zen usually dresses in all black (like a stupid emo eboy) so it’s a much needed pop of colour, they tend to be well maintained as a result

Hitotose Ryousei -  - The gems on his hand show that this was drawn in winter. ask me about it if you want i just like the blue.  - His fingers are calloused from pushing himself to his limits every day training, he’s very much a hard worker and keeps his nails maintained to show professionality and control despite this - Ryousei’s hands are delicate but not soft, dainty but not fragile. 

Ikko Endou -  - I’m in love with him, firstly. Endou has large hands to keep u safe and hold urs and make u happy he’s fucking perfect okay - his hands kinda just do that gradient, it’s a result of his blessing, no his nails are not painted though his girlfriend (bi rights) and younger sister (and sometimes his like 10 younger brothers) ask him if they can.  - Endou is STUPIDLY strong yet despite this he’s incredibly gentle and FUCKING MOISTURISES UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE HERE OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.

Inokuma Ayaka - - she’s pink - she paints her nails because it’s nice - her hands are rather small! unsurprising because she’s 4 foot eleven

Kanematsu Koichiro - - VERY skinny and VERY long. he’s baby - he paints his nails as tribute to his late mother (or rather is made to by his father, sorry buddy), he’d be in his usual lace gloves but I Cannot Draw Those Sorry Chiro - He’s 6′5 and a giant twig it makes sense why his hands are so stupidly long actually but i respect him and his stupidly soft skin

Kanya Lamai -  - She’s usually in long gloves but unlike yuushi and tou they have NO detail so i didn’t think they’d be worth including - Yes, Kanya’s an e-girl. Yes, she gets french manicures shut the fuck up her girlfriend likes them - Again, her hands are soft for her girlfriend, got told that rough housing with her apeshit snake brother makes them uncomfy to hold and she bought 5 bottles of hand lotion to make sure that it didn’t happen again.  Kobayashi Sakura -  - Sakura is a dainty son of a bitch and she WILL make sure her nails are beautiful under her armour. she has armour by the way don’t you think she’s perfect.  - With these claws she makes sure no man is safe when she’s around - The nail polish pattern is the same on the other hand but reversed!!

Lothaire Ludenburg Junior - - Lothaire burnt their middle finger when they were a child but also REALLY likes their nails so went “fuck it let’s cut all my gloves”, it’s high fashion baby! - they are. so fucking pale. im sick of this bitch someone get them some sunlight - yes, their nails are gemstones. yes they’re rich. yes i’m robbing them. also TINEY BABEY HANDS

Narumi Nekomaru -  - you know how ryousei went apeshit training? yeah narumi did that but like ten times harder so tends not to have time to maintain his hands much - his nails are either cut when they get too long or trimmed in combat n shit, he’s not got rough rough hands and they’re always (always) clean but they’re not exactly soft either - that marking? the same as his forehead, it’s a part of his blessing. Also he’s got. small hands bro.  Sasaki Yasu - - that’s not my oc - I’d link you to the page of the person whose oc it is but she won’t give me her tumblr account (and her twt’s private so im not fucking pseuo doxxing her again like i did on rp twt dont ask) - Nikki if you’re out there seeing this or if i sent it to you, suck my dick and also enjoy your con and ALSO ask me about this i miss yasu so much :(

Sawamura Yuushi -  - UNDER THOSE GLOVES ARE TALONS THE ONLY REASON YOU CAN’T SEE THEM IS BECAUSE HE TURNS THEM TO SMOKE BEFORE PUTTING ON THE GLOVES - Yuushi’s a gigantic germaphobe and hates human contact so isn’t ever seen without some form of gloves on whether they’re his leather, everyday gloves, the white cotton ones he uses when maintaining his collection of “fake” “glass” eyes or the other white cotton gloves he uses when obsessively cleaning EVERYTHING  - Yuushi bites at his hands a lot, another reason for the gloves. also he’s 7′4 his hands are so fucking LONG he’s like koichiro but again Shishiuichi Takamitsu - - there’s a moth there - mitsu doesn’t paint his nails - medium hands mcgee over here oo please appreciate my perfect boy i love him so so much okay Tou Fuyuhiko -  - GLOVES MEAN NO FINGERPRINTS - the wings are a reference to the birds that represent Hideki family (which he is essentially a bodyguard for, even at such a young age)  - VERY SMALL HANDS, he’s like 5′2

[feelings-n-shitx]

things ive wrote in notes app for easy access

note to ethan:

from sometime in may 2021

why would you do this to me? you tell me you’re sad and i try my absolute hardest to help, i actually think about what i’m saying i TRY. i write you whole paragraphs, i genuinely try to make you feel better but when i pour my fucking heart out to you all i get is some bullshit response like ‘i’m here for u’ or ‘ik u can get thru this 🥺’? it’s like you don’t even fully read what i say either. if you were here for me you’d try. if you were here for me you’d talk to me. you KNOW you’re my only friend l, you KNOW you’re the only friend i’ve had in 5 years so why would you do this? why would you lie to me? i told you how i felt before and you said it was because you don’t use instagram, and discord would be better, but NOTHKNG has changed?? you say you’re here for me and then leave me on read? i would get if you didn’t. want to talk to anyone but i know that’s not true, because all you fuckin talk about is Val or whatever. if you can spend all of your time with her why is 20 minutes to talk to me so hard for you? i find it really easy to believe you just genuinely don’t care because this isn’t the first time you’ve left me in the dust for someone you just met. it happened your last girlfriend, eliza or something like that, you left me for weeks at a time for her, after spending ages talking to me regularly like a decent fuckin friend. then it happened again with val i’m TIRED of it. if you don’t care PLEASE JUST FUCKING TELL ME. PLEASE. IM SICK OF WONDERING AND GETTING BULLSHIT ANSWERS. PLEASE PLEASE JUST TELL ME. I DONT CARE IF IT HURTS JUST TELL ME. BE BLUNT. PLEASE.

or if i’m wrong correct me. because from what i can gather i’m right here.

ur just honestly a bad friend

23/04/21

i wanna go but i cant. i feel so lost and trapped i just can’t do this anymore. it’s always there but i take myself away from it because i know that if i didn’t i would t be able to take it. i don’t wanna be here but i don’t wanna hurt my family

08/03/21

i think i’m having a panic attack?? ?

i was thinking about the universe and that eel thing and that nothing matters it never has and it never will and all of our problems our made up by us and capitalism and we aren’t meant to be doing this

and mow i’m think i’m paranoid cus i’m scared that the gorernment monitors everything and if i talk about this i’ll be in danger i’m so scared i don’t know what to do

hungry all time

i just wanna eat, i’m so hungry but i can’t. i won’t let myself. it’s not that i’m starving myself purposefully, i just genuinely can’t eat anything, i can’t swallow without gagging, the thought of it makes me ill. it hurts so bad i’m so hungry

i feel so anxious i don’t know if it’s because of the coffee or not. it won’t stop i’m trying so hard but it won’t go away

i don’t wanna die but i can’t live like this. i’m so uncomfy i’m so hungry i’m so tired. i don’t know what to do i feel like i have no one i’m comfortable talking to this about.

i just wanna be me i wanna be me so bad. i wanna look like me i don’t even look like me. every time i look in the mirror i look different i don’t even know what i really look like.

i wanna live but not like this. i don’t know what to do.

am i having a panic atttack? i don’t know but i don’t like this i want it to go away.

01/03/21

i worry for my future because i have nothing to aspire to, no dreams. no dream job, dream house. because i spend quite literally all of my time living in the place i created in my head, that i have convinced myself that that’s what’ll happen, that it’ll all just appear one day. recently i have begone to question if that is really what i want, if the place i go to in my head is the life i want to live, or if i want something else that has disguised itself as that. for example, i realised that most of my fantasies are merely social interacts, hanging out with friends, spending time with a significant other. things that i can only assume others don’t feel the need to fantasise about because it is their reality. have i deprived myself of a life so deeply that i have to fantasies about such mundane situations in order to keep myself above the water? are my daydreams really me imagining what a dream life would be, a rockstar who travels the world and performs for the masses, or have i convinced myself that’s what it is in order to further deny what it really is? because when i stop daydreaming, (never by choice), i am overcome with a sense of hopelessness, self-pity, sadness and loneliness. i know the daydreams are a subconscious method of saving myself, and i think that the level of self awareness i have developed makes it hurt more. the fact that i know why i do this, why i disguise it as imagining the future i want for myself, yet i can’t do anything about it. it has become so normal that i have found comfort in it, which i suppose is the entire point, to find comfort. i know that it’s a problem, that it has become unhealthy, that it hurts the people around me, though i have no motivation to get out. i have no motivation to better myself, to repair the wound that just keeps getting bigger as time goes on.

i fear that i won’t amount to anything, or even live to my future. i don’t see myself doing anything other than the life i have built in my head. even though i know that that life is, as far as i know, almost entirely unattainable. unattainable because it is so perfect, so cherry picked and void of bad things that are inevitable in life. every person is to my standards, or at least ‘fixable’ as part of my narrative. my career there is so ideal and pristine, life sculpted to the tee. and i know that it will never be that way, though i can’t, quite literally, for the life of me, stop it. stop it enough to develop desires, dreams and ambitions to work towards.

i have no skills, talents. at least none that would be effective enough in adult life. or have i gone so deep that i am completely void of my sense of self? the self that i have lived with, grown with since the day i was born. have i completely brainwashed myself that i don’t even know myself anymore? what did i aspire to be as a young child? it bothers me that i can’t answer that. my name doesn’t even feel right anymore. what do i do?

[cloverr-fields]

it was actually the other list,sorry!But you dont have to if you dont want to!

Oh no I’m so sorry!! I’ll go do those, then! I suppose you’re getting two for the price of one, huh? >v

Okay, I have located the list and here we go!!

1. Let’s start with a tricky one: what is the real reason you are confused right now? College applications. They suck. 

3. If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?They wouldn’t be my significant other, tbh. I don’t mind if my friends do it, I just don’t participate, but that would be a big turn-off for me….

5. What were you doing at 11 PM last night? I think I was scrolling through this awful site, or maybe watching funny things on YouTube? I don’t remember tbh. 

7. What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? I probably would never speak to the person again, and dump them immediately. 

9. I bet you kissed someone las night, right? HA don’t I wish

11. You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life– what is it? Water. And not just to be smart, I actually prefer water over most drinks, it tastes better to me. 

13. What time do you go to bed? Anywhere between 11:30 and 2 AM! My sleep schedule is all kinds of fucked, but I only have afternoon-evening classes so it’s fine~ 

15. Can you text as quickly with one hand as you can with both? No, but I’m trying to get to that point! I used to have my flip phone’s keyboard memorized, so maybe then I could, but now it takes a little. 

17. Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No, of course not. 

19. Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Yup, my best friends! They just always make me smile and happy, no matter what I was going through. 

21. Is anyone else in the room with you? Nope~ I’m in my room alone trying to convince myself to get out of bed lol

23. Were you happier four months ago than you are now? That’s a Question. Fur months ago was December, and I was getting ready for finals, but I think I had less Emotional Turmoil at that point? So maybe? It was also Hanukkah time and that’s always great. 

25. In the past week, have you cried? Multiple times. 

27. Do people ever call you by your last name? My teachers used to, when I was in high school!

29. Do you have a best friend? So I know technically you’re only supposed to have one, but I have like 3-5 going on, and I love them all so dearly. 

31. Who was your lsat call/text message from? Call was my mother, and text message was this gal: @mizuritamanami

33. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? The only people I’ve properly kissed have been older than me. 

35. How many more days until your birthday? 38, not counting today! April 28th! 

37. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Yeah, I’ve got a lot of good guy friends. 

39. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? I think I have more than one. 

41. Do you think age matters in relationships? Yes, but it depends on how big the age difference is. 6 years or more tends to make me a little uncomfy, but also I don’t think it’s like…. The deciding factor if that makes sense? 

43. How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? Romantic-wise? Probably only two. 

45. Do you believe exes can be friends?Absolutely, and i’d be miserable otherwise. 

47. Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? College applications. 

49. Was your last kiss a mistake? No. 

51. Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? She helped me through sooooooo many meltdowns it’s a little (lot) embarrassing. 

53. What was the last thing you ate? Sushi~ And it was damn good, too!

55. Where are you going on your next vacation? Vacation-vacation? England!! I’m so excited, I’ve been wanting to go for years now, and my grandmother finally caved! 

57. Are most of your friends guys or girls? Pretty even at this exact moment, but mostly girls. It’s also because I didn’t know how to talk to boys until I was 12 so. 

59. When was the last time you took a long drive? Saturday night, coming back to Jerusalem from a different city. 

61. Have you ever TPd someone’s house? Oh gosh no, I could never. I’m a chicken. 

63. What was the last movie you saw? In theaters? I think it might have been Coco? Which, that movie was amazing I was so glad that I went to see it. 

65. How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? None, I was a baby. I think I was like 11 maybe? 12? I had a “boyfriend” in 2012, though. 

67. Do you curse around your parents? Yup, and they curse around my brother and I. I’m really comfortable around my mom, and I know if she had an issue with it she’d say something. Plus, I can “turn off” the cursing as needed, so it’s not really like…. A problem.

69. Picture of yourself? Oh God. Let me go find one that I like.

I apologize for the face I’m making. 

71. Have you ever been dumped? Yes. 

73. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Yeah, I did. Still am not sure how I feel about the whole thing tbh. 

75. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? This is really oddly specific, but the V that guys have when it kinda peeks above their belt line? Also shoulders and with girls I meanIdk people are just attractive in general. (Perks of being bi) 

77. Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? Nope. I’ve never had sex, so. (Although I hope that never happens) 

79. What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? Puns make me smile really cheesily, but I don’t know. I guess hearing someone I have a crush on laugh? 

81. Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? Yes. 

83. Do you miss your last sweetie? Yeah, but we’re still talking and friends, and I’m so so grateful for that. 

85. Have you ever dated someone you’ve never met? Like, met in person? Yes. 

87. What is your astrological sign? Is that a fancy way to ask about Zodiac? If so, I’m a Taurus! 

89. Do you cook? Oh all the time. I’m something of a private chef for my roommates because I love cooking and I like to think I’m a good cook! I prefer baking though, if I’m honest. 

91. If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? Another Question. I mean….The romantic part of me wishes I had someone to hold me and love me, but the rational part of me also recognizes that I need time, and I’m in the middle of school. So kinda? 

93. What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?I mean…. There has to be some sort of attraction, right? So face, hair, body type sometimes. It really depends, I’m more attracted to personality than physical you know? 

95. Are you a player? God I hope not.

97. Are you a tease? I suppose I could be, if I wanted to. (That’s a yes.) 

99. Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? Yes. 

101. Hugs or kisses? Both? (I know, I know, that’s cheating– kisses) 

103. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes or hair. It really depends. Sometimes just the face as a whole. Personality traits too, though– sense of humor, intelligence, etc. 

105. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in a relationship, would you go for it? No, absolutely not. I refuse to be the person someone is cheated on with. 

107. Your last kiss? Was probably in February? 

109. Have you kissed anyone in the past month? I wish. 

111. Do you know who you’ll kiss next? I know who I’d like to kiss next, but no, I have no idea.

113. Do you currently have feelings for anyone? Yup. 

115. Ever made out with just a friend? I mean, I’ve made out with people I like and then we broke up and became just friends? I don’t know, honestly. 

117. There was no question of your own, so I’m just gonna tell you an interesting fact about myself: I’m bilingual! Not fluently, but mostly! 

Thank you so much for asking, I’m sorry about the confusion!! Here you go tho, Anon, and I hope you’re having the best day!!!

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