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softlypaintedseafoam · 3 days ago

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your love, like birth and death

synopsis. in which you hope a misguided prince realizes his affection for you is misplaced gratitude for you saving his life. a smitten prince can only propose once more.

pairing. gojou satoru x f!reader

word count. 3.1k | masterlist

content warning. faerie au, seelie prince!gojou, banshee!reader (afab), mentions of pregnancy, descriptions of blood and injuries, mutual pining but gojou's love is heavier, almost kisses

reblogs & interactions appreciated.

another repost of a favorite fic of mine to finally get something on the jjk masterlist i have set up. the title comes from a nizar qabbani poem, one of my favorites. anyone who knows me knows banshees are one of my favorite faeries, so this was a very fun piece for me to write!

This Court is dyed in the colors of Life, you note this particular morning.

Of course, this is something you’ve noted every morning since you’d been brought to this palace nearly a month ago. Yet you aren’t tired of noting it; the Court you have found yourself in is beautiful. From the ledge you lean against, it almost feels like you can see everything in Faerie.

You see the royal gardens, a mass of long grasses and moss dotted by colorful wild blooms. Overgrown and yet each flower seems right where it is supposed to be.

Beyond the walls of the castle, you see stretches and stretches of blue spruces and just beyond that a lake that almost seems purple. If this were a palace in Unseelie territory, you might have thought a kelpie lived in it.

Across the courtyard, souls living and deceased move as if in a dance. The living with their duties for the day, unaware of their ghoulish companions drifting about. Some have the ever permanent dribble of poisoned wines falling from their lips, others’ have blood seeping into their clothes from their torsos and others are missing limbs although they find no difficult in moving.

The sight of death faeries is one that gruesome. A mixture of life and death, the path you folk walk on until you return to nothing.

Neat yet unkempt, wild yet tame, expected yet unexpected ー that is the beauty of Faerie you’ve grown accustomed to in the centuries since your creation.

A beauty you rarely have the opportunity to appreciate when you often find yourself in the realm of humans, heralding death.

You wonder how much time has passed there since you’ve come to the Court of Reckoning. All while the skies have lost the traces of violet, peach and marigold that painted the dawn skies and have begun settling into a lovely shade of pastel blue.

“I see I’ve finally found you,” when you look over your shoulder, it’s one of the prince’s advisors that greets you. The one with the long raven-black hair and brown eyes that remind you of humus-rich soil. You see the makings of a black tail with a tuft of fur peeking from his cloak and believe him to be some sort of phouka. “I almost thought for a moment our honored guest had disappeared,” his voice is light and airy, but he seems relieved to an extent. “I’m glad my concerns were proven untrue. Satoru would be quite unmanageable if that were the case.”

You shake your head, smiling politely, “I enjoy watching dawn turn into morning.” You look at the large bouquet in the phouka’s hands ー an assortment of lavender roses, baby’s breath and ferns.

“Our prince is too busy to deliver these himself this morning,” Suguru explains once they’ve caught your eye. You make sure to not let your fingers brush against one another when you reach for the blooms carefully. “Love at first sight, purity and fascination it is supposed to symbolize,” the advisor recounts the meaning of each bloom dutifully. He’s exasperated, you can tell. “Do you like them?”

“Yes, they’re quite lovely,” you believe so truly. Everyday since your arrival to the palace, the prince has had bouquet after bouquet gifted to you. Even if he cannot deliver them himself. “As were the rest I’ve received.”

“I’ve never seen Satoru so smitten,” you avoid the phouka’s gaze. “You should have met him when we were younger. He was adamant that he’d never be besotted with anyone lest he become a fool.” There’s a light pause as Suguru recalls the evening Satoru brought you to this palace. You who are cloaked in death and all of her colors. “Look at him now. He’s certainly caused a stir in his insistence you’ll be his queen. He’s a charming fool, though, I am sure.”

You prefer to think of the prince as a ridiculous fool but you cannot deny that he is charming. Dangerously so. If you hadn’t known better, you would have thought him to be a gancanagh, a love-talker.

“Please marry me,” came the soft request as sky blue eyes stared into your very being. “And I’ll love you more faithfully than any man, fae or otherwise.”

You try not to remember the way your chest clenched in surprise. How you were so surprised it almost felt like your skin had warmed. It’s best not to focus on that memory at all.

It’s a ridiculous notion, a seelie prince in love with a banshee.

“The prince is simply confusing gratitude with love,” you return Suguru’s gaze with a polite smile. You hope he believes you. “He’ll realize that soon and I will leave this place.” You know that will bring palace staff a great sense of peace. If there is one thing you’ve learned in your long life as a banshee it is that even if the Folk spurn mortals and their blink-of-an-eye lifespans, there are many things faeries and humans have in common.

A fear of death is certainly one of them.

As such, to the vast majority of faeriekind, Death Folk like yourself are not looked upon favorably. Banshee and dullahans alike, you’re more like pests in their eyes.

You banshee women who scream and keen if death is near.

The dullahans who hear those screams and arrive when that final hour has approached.

Yes, you know how death fae are viewed. You’ve heard the whispers in the palace, how you are an omen of malevolence to come. That your kind are like roaches. Should one appear, others will soon follow suit.

This is why you’ve come to appreciate this private ledge on the castle walls that receives less foot traffic than the rest. You’d rather the staff of the palace have peace of mind in your absence while you live in the palace even if their prince insists you can venture the halls as much as you’d like.

Once the promised revel he hopes to throw in your honor comes to pass, you know the prince will lose his interest in you. Then you will leave and continue about your existence until you fade into nothing but a vague memory in his subconscious.

That’s what you truly hope when you see the prince in question later on in the day for lunch in the garden.

How his eyes light up and he stands to his feet as Cypress, a lovely pixie tasked with being your attendant, announces your arrival. How he doesn’t even wait for you to reach the table before he comes to meet you. You are unused to being treated like royalty and yet their prince insists that you are. “You won’t believe how the old hags go on and on,” he sighs, remnants of annoyance dancing in his tone but his voice is soft with you. Cypress takes the dismissal in stride. “I couldn’t even come see you for breakfast. Did you like the flowers?”

He wraps your hands in his own large palms, seemingly unaffected by your corpse-cold skin, as he has done every time you’ve met since your arrival. “Yes, they were beautiful,” your smile is small and doesn’t quite reach your eyes. You hope this ridiculous yet charming fool realizes that loving one such as yourself is more trouble than good. That his love truly is just misplaced gratitude. “You really don’t have to send me flowers every morning.”

The prince disregards your words the way water rolls off the back of a duck, “next time I’ll bring you the flowers myself.” He guides you to the table filled to the brim with food you aren’t accustomed to eating. “Will you tell me your favorites finally? I’ve been going out on a limb with my guesses.”

“My tastes in flowers are unique, to say the least,” maybe it’s your nature, but your favorites tend to circle around the prevailing theme of your kind. Lavender to give the dead peace in passing on, calendula for blessing and love. Dandelions in the seed head stage were quite popular with ghost children, still finding them just as amusing as they did when they were alive. “The flowers you send me are more than enough.” The prince pouts but he decides to let you skirt around his request once more. You bring focus back to the spread, “it looks like you’ve demanded everything in the kitchen.”

There are strawberry-and-whipped cream filled pastries, cold cut platters and buttery biscuits to name a few things. The tip of the iceberg of everything on the table.

“I wanted to make sure our bases were covered,” the prince grins, teeth as white as his hair. “I hope you like lavender chamomile, that’s today’s tea. I’ve never had it before.” He drops cube after cube of sugar into his cup, drizzles the contents with honey before finally pouring in a splash of cream.

You take your tea plain and enjoy the gentle fragrance. Lavender buds are just barely visible below the tea’s surface. You close your eyes as the flavor hits your tongue. It tastes as wonderful as it smells. “Yes, this is quite nice. I really like it.”

“Should we have it for tomorrow as well?” He’s too eager to curry your favor.

You open your eyes to dissuade him but your attention is instead drawn to a headless hob nearing your table. You’ve seen this hob before, skirting about the palace bitterly as he carries his head in his hands much like a dullahan. He’s old, even by fae standards, with a long beard. There’s no question as to how the man died, beheading. You hope it was quick.

His beady eyes glare at you with a quiet rage similar to how most fae spirits do. You wonder how long he has been like this, refusing to board the carriage of any dullahan that may come to collect him and bring him to the Otherworld.

You personally believe that faeries leave behind ghosts more than humans do.

It’s why you’ve often seen ghosts from a distance at revels, dancing from dawn til dusk even if they will not be perceived by the living. Even if they can no longer don the fancy dresswear they were able to dress in.

Time and time again, they will do this. Staunchly refusing death even after they’re already in its hold.

“Oh, is there a ghost with us?” The prince notes how your eyes dart between him and the space he perceives as empty. “What’s it saying?”

“Tell this lout that I sooner hope his rule is contemptuous and brings the Court to ruin!” The hob’s head seethes. “That his many days are fraught with danger! Gakuganji is my name and this is the curse I cast upon him!”

Folk can’t lie, but you you prefer not to relay the bitter message. “He hopes your rule is one that is,” you lick your lips and raise your cup to your lips. “Filled with exciting thrills,” not an exact lie. Perhaps to this radical prince, those sorts of threats are exciting. “He says his name is Gakuganji.”

“Exciting thrills, you say?” The prince barks in amusement, shoulders shaking with his laughter. “That doesn’t sound like the traitorous scoundrel I know. You don’t have to lie, he’s probably cursing me and my bloodline for generations to come as we speak.” The hob growls at the lackadaisical nonchalance of the elf. But it seems he has had his fill as he stomps off before he can hear more insult to his person.

“Gakuganji has lost his touch even in death,” the prince’s amused chuckles turn into light sighs “You wouldn’t have liked him very much when he was alive,” you’re sure you can agree with that much of the prince’s words. Gakuganji, as you now know him, has been one of the more unpleasant spirits in the palace. “He was very stuck in his ways. What’s it like, seeing ghosts all the time?”

Normal?

You can’t quite remember what it was like when you were a newly-made banshee and everything was new. Nor can you remember the life you once led as a human. You simply remember your death was a terrible, terrible thing. “It’s as normal to me as it’s normal for you not to see them,” you set your cup down. “If someone asked you what’s it like to see the blue sky everyday, it would be a strange question, correct?”

The prince takes in your words thoughtfully, not slighted in the least. “I guess that’s true,” he nods to himself. “I just wondered if it was something that took some getting used to.” The prince removes his darkened spectacles from the bridge of his nose. “I told you before I have pretty good eyes. I’m able to perceive a lot of things no one else can from mana to the shape of one’s soul. But the spirits of the deceased are exceptions to my eyes, it seems.”

“Your Highness,” you begin.

“Satoru,” the prince corrects you swiftly.

“Your Highness,” you insist. This boundary you won’t cross for yourself. “I’m not sure it’s really wise for you to tell me about your eyes. I’m not a member of this family or your closest allies.”

“But you will be,” he tells you as if he’s simply remarking on how pleasant the weather is. “I will become king of this Court and you’ll be by my side as my queen.” You’re quite sure that if his mother, the High Queen, has anything to say about it, she’d sooner relinquish her throne to a random nixie than allow a banshee to wed her son. “I trust you as much as I trust Suguru or Nanami.”

You wish he wouldn’t.

A Seelie prince and his banshee queen? That sounds like the start to a ballad meant to insult him.

It’s misplaced gratitude, not love. That’s what this prince feels for you. You tell him as such once again as you have everyday since you were brought here. “You’ll realize that soon, maybe even before the revel you plan for me,” you whisper ー no, you pray. “There will be another you yearn for and you’ll realize the difference.”

The prince will fall deeply, truly, unapologetically in love with someone and he’ll discover the truth.

Perhaps it will be a lake maiden of Spring whose dreadlocks drip with water droplets that fall onto dewy cinnamon-brown skin. Who sings of the beautiful red and pink of the roses and of love.

Or maybe it will be a selkie man who doesn’t mind living far from the sea as he’s brought a love as deep as the ocean along with him. Whose coat is donned in scars and scratches from battles past, a reflection of his form as a seal.

Or maybe he can grow enraptured with his phouka advisor whom he trusts more than anyone in this life.

Someone dyed in Life’s colors.

Someone beautiful.

When that time comes, you’ll be happy for him. Maybe then the ache that resonates through your heart and bones will end.

The prince isn’t the only fool here, you admit reluctantly. You’re just as much, if not more so. But this feeling will come to pass, “this is just gratitude. Fascination. Not love.”

“You think I don’t love you?” The prince asks quietly, resting his chin on his palm as he looks at you. He says he has good eyes, he wonder what you look like to him through them. You who once was dyed in Life’s colors but have since become painted over by Death’s brush.

Death folk with death folk.

Life folk with life folk.

“I know you don’t,” he can’t. You can’t allow either of yourselves to do so. “A banshee by your side as queen,” you want it sound ridiculous to both of your ears. “It’s absurd.”

There are no rules that state your union is forbidden, this you know. But the laws of nature are simple. Life and Death co-exist separately, unable to exist without one another. But there has never been a tale where the two joined together as one.

Maybe you’re just too scared to be the first.

“I want the woman that I love by my side as queen,” the prince replies smoothly. “Your species is of little importance to me. All that matters is that my love is returned in full. Please, allow me to be yours,” he reaches for your hand once more, stepping out of his chair in favor of sitting on bended knee. “More than anyone has or ever will, I love you. This is an unwavering truth.”

The blood of the love-talker must run through his veins. Why else do you feel like this? Your desire for this prince will eat away at you until you become undone and return to nothing. “You’re a prince. It’s the duty of the royal family to provide heirs,” even the smallest sprite knows this to be fact. “Are you asking me to stay with you and have them?”

“Please have my children,” azure stares seriously into your pale eyes that were once [color] when you were human.

Your skin feels warm at his unabashed request.

Gojou Satoru has no shame, that you have become sure of in the near month of knowing one another.

He had no shame when he asked you to be his bride when you first met.

There was no shame to be found when he insisted that you stay in the palace as an honored guest he owes his life to.

Nor is there any shame to be found in him now when he cups your cheek in his furnace hot hands to guide your lips down to his, long white lashes fluttering shut.

I shouldn’t, your mind screeches at you. I shouldn’t allow us to get even one millimeter closer. Yet you make no move to do so as your lips are just barely touching whenー

“Your Highness, your mother is requesting you,” Nanami’s mild-mannered drawl saves you at the last minute.

You jerk back into your chair in relief, heart pounding. You aren’t able to make eye contact with anyone, least of all the overworked horned elf-kobold hybrid brought to receive the Gojou heir.

The prince clicks his tongue in annoyance, glaring over his shoulder at the advisor, “she can’t wait? We haven’t even begun eating yet.”

Nanami looks just as annoyed to be there, “the faster you heed her call, the quicker you can go back to fawning after the object of your desires.” He tells his prince. “And the faster I can get back to resting.”

The prince with snow-white hair clicks his tongue once more, but he doesn’t argue against it. He turns to you regretfully, “I’ll have to leave again. Perhaps we’ll have more time together at dinner,” you hope the wait for dinner is longer still. You know the prince hopes the time passes as quickly as he can blink.

Warm lips press against the back of your hand, lingering for five seconds longer than they should.

The bones of your hands ache.

#romance dawn ー 🌅#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo x reader #gojou x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk x black!reader #gojo x black!reader #jujutsu kaisen x black!reader

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spitdrunken · 2 days ago

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reinhard van astrea x isekai!reader

notes: obsessive behaviour/yandere, dependency @yandere-romanticaa - im the anon who sent in an ask! hope you like it <3

Domesticity is something Reinhard has never even had a taste of in his own life. His own family had fallen apart because of him all too quickly, and the little piece of happiness he can remember from his youngest days quickly became lost. After that, there had been little calm in his life, little except for training. His minimal needs taken care of by nameless servants who all looked upon him with awe, apprehension and outright fear.

Reinhard never quite managed to feel part of the human race since. He may be loved by the world, but its people would fear him. None of this ever stopped Reinhard from helping others and being the hero he is supposed to be. Though, at times, he wonders what his life might otherwise been like. In other words, like so many, he is subconsciously drawn to what he cannot have. When Reinhard falls someone, it’s most likely for someone living a relatively normal life. An unknown factor.

To Reinhard, it would be even better to meet someone who has no idea who that is. That is a tough thing to ask for, however. His face is known far and wide across Lugunica and his reputation as Sword Master stretches even beyond. It would be near impossible to meet someone whose perception of him wouldn’t be tainted by his ‘monstrous’ power.

Cue you. You have no idea what’s going on. One moment, you’d been going about your day, the next you’ve been transported into this unfamiliar and foreign world, to bustling streets full of species you don’t recognise and speaking a language you cannot understand. After crossing off ‘this is all just a dream’ from the list of possibilities, you’re faced with a frightening new reality.

You’re not taking this very well. It’s not long before you’re sitting somewhere on the cobbled ground, back against a wall and practically hyperventilating. Of course, you’re familiar with this kind of trope of fiction. You just can’t fathom how anyone could be excited about being ripped away from everything and anyone they’ve ever known. Nor have you ever fashioned yourself to be ‘main character’ material.

It’s Reinhard who finds you in a little alleyway, a little ways off from one of the main roads in Lugunica, mumbling to yourself and shaking. Most people would’ve passed by with little more than a glance, if they had even noticed you at all. That is simply the nature of large cities. But he is not the type of person to see someone in such clear distress and walk past without a second thought.

Reinhard approaches you without any hesitation. He tries to be as conspicuous as possible, adjusting his belt so his sword bumps against his side and putting down his feet a little harder than necessary, all to avoid scaring you. (Stealth is a passive Divine Protection of his. It takes him more effort to be noticed than not.) When you glance up, tear tracks clear on your cheeks and eyes wide with distress, Reinhard greets you with the most gentle smile he can muster. He kneels down in front of you, reaching out a hand with a handkerchief in it as if approaching a frightened animal. It’s a thick, soft cloth, embroidered with both his family’s colours and banner. “Please, take it,” he tells you. His smile falters a tad when, instead of breathing as fast as you were before, you seem to have stopped breathing whatsoever. But then you let out a stuttering, long exhale, shoulders slumping and mumble out a string of incomprehensible words. You wipe down your face and hide within the fabric. Out of respect, Reinhard gives you some time before prodding you with questions, looking away instead of staring. Though there are certainly things that grabbed his attention. Your way of dress, more than anything else. It’s not a type or style of clothing he recognises and, as a result, he can only assume that you’re a foreigner. Traveled here from further than the Four Great Nations, maybe. And gotten lost as a result. Reinhard doesn’t mind waiting for you to calm down. Though there might be trouble brewing somewhere else in the city, he’s certain that the rest of the guard can handle themselves for the time being. He’s not even on the job, after all. It’s important to stay in contact with the people he’s actually protecting, lest they become more of an idea or an image in his mind. He returns his focus to you once you’ve calmed down. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” This time, you look at him with no comprehension, then respond with something in your own tongue. Reinhard continues to try and communicate with you, all of the different languages he’s learned bits and pieces of out of politeness, yet none of it rings a bell for you. It’s difficult, frankly, and he’s running out of ideas. You seem to be growing closer to tears again by every second that passes. Perhaps it would be best to try and focus on something easier… A little distraction. He points at himself. “Reinhard van Astrea.” Any moment now, it must happen. There’ll be a flicker of recognition at his name, his appearance, the sword of his hip— And any hint of unguardedness will be erased and replaced by that look he is all too familiar with. That doesn’t happen. Instead, you smile. It’s wobbly and small, but it’s a smile nonetheless. You point at him. “Reinhard van Astrea,” you repeat after him. The vowels aren’t all quite correct, but that’s not an issue. He nods, smiling. Then, you point at yourself and share your own name, which he then repeats. Maybe it’s something to do with his pronunciation, or simply the relief of having fostered understanding with someone else in this city, but that’s the first time that Reinhard hears you laugh, loud and without reservation. It is that very moment that time seems to freeze, that it flits through his head that he cannot let something this precious go.

From the outside looking in though, it doesn’t seem to you that anything momentous has happened. You’ve started to doubt your ‘main character’ status, though. The man that is busying himself to make you at ease looks like he’s appeared straight out of an otome game with unnaturally bright hair and eyes to boot. He’s gorgeous to the point that it’s almost unnatural. That it’s reminiscent of a piece of art in a museum. The idea that he’s way, way out of your league is an immediate, unquestioned assumption.

Reinhard accompanies you throughout town, never straying far from your side. After mulling a little bit over a ways to communicate with you, he asks a shopkeeper for some paper and a pen, making little sketches to attempt to clarify things. He draws a rough approximation of a house and a questioning tilt of his head. Then, some coins, then stick figures of people. You have to shake your head at all of the unspoken questions. No, you have no home, no money, and no people to return to. By the end of it, your face runs hot with shame and you think you might start to cry all over again.

It’s Reinhard who, in the end, assures that you have a roof over your head and money to spend. You have no idea how to make it up to him. Not the mention, you don’t even have the words to express your gratitude. It’s a little one-room apartment that he’s bought for you in a quieter neighbourhood of the capital and your first self-imposed goal is to pay him back. The most people such as yourself can do around town is menial labour: lugging goods around, cleaning as a maid or anything of the sort. It’s either this, or do nothing inside of your room all day. You prefer the work, even if it’s exhausting.

Reinhard really only accepts the money you present him with to stop you from feeling worse about the situation. As soon as he figured out what you were doing, he’d taken you to a more reputable home in the city as soon as he got, acting as your ‘translator’ when you asked why. Of course, with him vouching for you, there was no question about the job or your higher salary.

He’s away for long stretches of time, but when he’s around he’s teaching you bits and pieces of the language. Reinhard isn’t the best at teaching though he tries his best. You pick up most of the language through listening to others speak, to struggling your way through novels after he taught you the script. All he asks for in return is for you to teach him a little of your own language to even better communicate with you. (You try not to think to hard about how it’s a language that, in this world, will die with you.)

Around you, he recalls what he was like as a young child. Shy, almost, at times struggling to figure out what to say. It’s an entirely unfamiliar feeling. Reinhard does feel a bit bad about keeping you in the dark. He purposefully doesn’t teach you some of the words people refer to him with. He doesn’t want you to change the way you look at him.

The same goes for his courting attempts. Any attempt at romance from him seems to fly over your head. (As previously stated, you consider him so far out of your league that it simply doesn’t cross your mind as a possibility.) Reinhard can accept that. For now, at least, and as long as you do not take another.

He values the little pretend life you’ve built together, even though it’s built on an unsteady foundation. Reinhard starts to yearn for the next time he can spend moments by your side, that he can go ‘home’ and see your face light up. He doesn’t know what he’d do if anything happened to you. Because of that, he must ensure he stays close, though he cannot avoid being sent away more often than he’d like. Selfishly, he continues to pay for your things even as you gain the means to look after yourself. It makes him feel better about it all.

If Reinhard is a force of nature, then you are caught in the eye of the storm. There’s little he needs to do about things such as romantic rivals or possible dangers to your life. Reinhard van Astrea’s shadow looms over you through your close association alone, even if you aren’t aware of it, and shapes the way people carry themselves around you. In the case there were those who overstepped, a request from Reinhard would be enough to get them to back off.

He doesn’t want you to be unhappy, he truly doesn’t. But when you complain that you cannot seem to make real friends with anyone, that there’s always this kind of… Distance and discomfort you can’t explain, he’s a little happy that he’s there to fill that gap. Once he has the courage, he’ll tell you how he feels. Your response will dictate whether you stay stable, or get swept out in the currents.

#re:zero x reader #re zero x reader #reinhard van astrea x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #re:zero #re zero #yandere re:zero #yandere re zero #cha.reinhard #cw.yandere

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babybearnation · 17 hours ago

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any driver with a hip hop dancer!reader partner ? maybe lando, kimi, or ollie ?

i ended up making this more general dancer headcanons than hip hop dancer bcuz i don't really know much about hip hop dance so i hope that's okay!

gn!dancer!reader

cw: suggestive (ollie)

lando norris:

oh he's fucking obsessed with watching you dance

this man is both oddly flexible and awkward as fuck and therefore he thinks he can pull off some of the moves you do and only just about avoids breaking a bone because you catch him

comes to every single performance or competition you have, fully ready to cheer you on - he doesn't give a single fuck about any fans or paparazzi spotting him either

absolutely loves sitting on facetime with you whilst you practise bcuz he finds that watching you learn a dance is actually a lot more satisfying than watching you do the whole thing successfully

kimi antonelli:

i think kimi would totally love this because he's all fastfastfast and numbers and data and you are all following the flow and, in some cases, rather slow

he's not stupid enough to try and replicate your moves but he will memorise them in his head so if you forget the next part, he'll be able to help you figure it out

he might try and come to every performance/competition of yours but, considering he's going into his rookie f1 season, he might have to miss more than he'd like to keep up a good rapport with mercedes - he'll try and make it up to you tho

the moment you collapse onto the floor in relief over finally learning a dance, kimi will happily crawl over (if he's there) and give you a thousand kisses because he's so proud of you

ollie bearman:

ollie loves that you're a dancer! he finds it so enchanting and he has a billion videos of you dancing saved to his phone so he can rewatch them when he's bored or missing you

get him drunk enough and he's totally attempting to learn your choreo and he cannot do it but it's rather endearing how excited he gets about "doing" it

ollie will literally be so upset if he misses any of your performances or competitions so you've started getting people to film them for him so he can still watch them even when he isn't there - it's the highlight of his day when he gets out of the car after a free practice session or quali and there's a video from you waiting for him

ollie thinks sweaty you is hot so when you finish learning a dance and turn to him, panting, he's pouncing on you, whining for you to let him taste you - and who are you to say no?

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untilwereallfree · 19 hours ago

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If you're doing jury duty you have NO POLITICAL OPINIONS. The burden of proof on the state is very, very high. What you have if you're on a jury is doubts. Did they prove it so that you cannot reasonably believe it is untrue? No? That's on them. This is how the system is supposed to work. They shouldn't expect you to trust the police. You may have to avoid mentioning your beliefs for them to show you to exercise this right. You may have to cover your tattoos. But this is doing what you're supposed to do.

for no reason whatsoever here’s a reminder that if you consider yourself a leftist/punk/abolitionist/anarchist/radical in any sort of way and get called into jury duty, you are to become the most square person on earth during the jury questionnaire!!!

don’t be that guy who says fuck the police in the jury questionnaire! that just gets you sent home! if you want to generate change, interact with the case and use your jury vote for good! ESPECIALLY if it’s a high profile case!

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unsuitablepet · 2 days ago

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i've noticed you're Canadian, and as an incredibly terrified american, are you guys getting news that war is actually likely? our news and search engines are being heavily censored, i actually cannot find anything past 2024 about possible war. i'm reeling that it's possible, but i wouldn't put it past the orange fuck. i am so sincerely sorry for that cockalorum.

Hey! First of all, thanks for reaching out, and I'm sorry to hear you're terrified. We are also terrified to hear that your news is being censored. As I'm sure you can imagine, now more than ever, we want Americans to be aware of our situation and what's going on up north.

In terms of whether our news is saying war is likely... that's hard to answer. Truthfully, our news sources take a bit of a different tone than yours, for the most part. We're very avoidant of absolutes until things are certain, and our journalists (the respectable ones) tend to avoid alarmist rhetoric - at least compared to the kind of reporting and headlines we often see from many (still very respectable!) publications in the States.

So, what I'll say is this: in short, no. I have not seen any explicit reporting that war is imminent. However, there have been a lot of signals that a Big Bad is coming, and that's what a lot of us have been deducing from that. Here are some examples:

PM Justin Trudeau called a summit with most of our major industry leaders, informing them that Trump's annexation threats were very real and that we needed to start preparing.

Following that meeting, he flew to Europe to meet with several EU leaders to strengthen alliances and met with the Secretary-General of NATO for apparently similar discussions.

On a potentially related note, CSIS (our version of the CIA) released a foreign interference intelligence report to Parliament on Jan 28, most of which has not been made available to the public. However, I’ve seen some reporting that the United States was one of the countries mentioned as trying to interfere in our elections, and that the government’s response could be read as a silent invocation of NATO Article 4.

Perhaps most telling of something bad to come: our leaders are reaching across the aisle more than I've ever seen. Trudeau has been meeting with our premiers often, and outside of the numbnut in Alberta, they’ve unanimously come together to work on plans that prioritize Canada. We're hearing some of our most despicable, power-hungry conservatives advocate for Country Over Party and Country Over Province, willingly working with Trudeau—whom not even a month ago they treated like the most egregiously offensive man who ever lived—in supporting his plans to push back on Trump.

Our most conservative, openly pro-Trump candidate for the next election (Pierre Poilievre) is adding the establishment of a new military base and an Arctic defense strategy to his platform.

All candidates have been talking about increasing military spending.

Finally, all of our economic conversations have been focused on trade diversification and expanding internal manufacturing capabilities. We just signed a massive trade deal with China—something we had been refusing to do primarily because of our allegiance to the United States as our ally, which has now clearly been broken.

So yeah. Nothing overt, but it's not looking good.

On the ground, regular people (at least where I live) have been talking about war as if it's a real possibility and discussing what they'd do. Overwhelmingly, people are willing to stand up to this if it comes to it.

War aside, I've never seen anti-American sentiment run so high in this country. It's truly terrifying. People—on the right and left—are buying Canadian and boycotting American products. People are selling their American vacation homes, canceling travel to the U.S. (and those still taking their American vacations are being called traitors in some circles). Companies are ripping up American contracts. Stores are pulling American products off the shelves. And then, of course, there's the booing.

I know this seems grim, but I want to be honest with you. Our nations' relationship has been irrevocably harmed. There is no world where we go back to how it was before—whether or not Trump is gone—because we simply can't trust we won’t be put in this position again. And honestly—no offense to you, your ask was very polite, and I truly sympathize with every American who is as appalled by this as we are—I don’t think Canadians would feel this strongly about “never going back” if it weren’t for the response we’re seeing from American people online and American media.

Initial reactions to these threats were outright dismissal... of a threat to our sovereignty. Then, it was met with jokes and condescension, with late-night hosts chalking it up to picking a fight with your lapdog ally (literally, Jon Stewart called us golden retrievers), and people online treating it like just another crazy Trump-ism. Which is, again, a) not an appropriate reaction to a threat to a country’s sovereignty, and b) a complete dismissal of the real-time effects we're already feeling from this. The Canadian dollar dropped CONSIDERABLY in value the day the tariffs were announced. Just look at the USD:CAD forex charts and see how fucking stupid it looks since Trump took office.

And then, finally, we keep being met with either MAGA idiots who double down on the threat and tell us about how they can't wait to annex us/invade us and how we don't stand a chance against your military, or we're met by well-meaning but ultimately self-centered Americans who didn't vote for Trump and seem to be looking for us to absolve them and confirm we know they, in particular, didn’t do this. Which, like, okay, but how does that help anything? And really, should you be turning to us for comfort in this moment? This might sound dramatic, but literally go to the comment section of any Canadian creator, and you'll see this playing out there. It's aggressive and overwhelming, and you can’t blame Canadians for feeling like we can't count on you (again, en masse—not you specifically) to have our backs.

That said, the Canadian people and the Canadian government still truly sympathize with Americans—and immigrants in America (documented or not)—who did not choose this and are being impacted. We really, truly, and deeply appreciate Americans like you who are seeking out our voices, seeing through the noise, and trying to stay informed.

So, with that in mind, to help with the root of your question regarding news sources... first, I would recommend getting a VPN. I think your online experience would greatly improve. Second, there are a few Canadian sources you can go directly to, like our national broadcaster, the CBC.

Personally, I also enjoy following some left-leaning creators on TikTok, most of whom are journalists. I just try to be careful to keep their biases in mind and do my own follow-up research/think critically about what I hear. Here are a few of my favourites: Kat Arnett - she's a photographer but she used to be a political journalist. She's been pretty great at talking about how Canadians have experienced all of this.

KnittyKnits - she's a progressive (I'd say left but not far left) creator based in Alberta and she covers a lot of Canadian news.

Contra Tenore - He's a left-wing creator who I personally feel has a fairly pragmatic approach to analysis. He's VERY supportive of our left wing party (The New Democratic Party or 'NDP') and he's been talking a lot about this situation with the U.S. He doesn't mince words, though, and sometimes his videos are a little hard to take.

Cole.NotCole - He's probably my favourite starting point for a lot of my research right now. He gives short summaries of the day's news. He's sort of our Aaron Parnas but less problematic and less priviledged. He has a Liberal (center-left) leaning lens, but I don't personally feel he editorializes too much.

JB|Canadian Politics - Overtly progressive, but great political updates in my opinion - bias or no bias. He's been engaging Americans a lot during this whole thing in really interesting ways.

Unlearn16 - They're an extremely progressive high school history teacher (or maybe social studies?). I've really enjoyed their content covering all of this. They do a great job of breaking down the impact of political maneuvering and spelling out historical contexts.

Anyway... I hope this helps! And thank you again for asking. It really does mean a lot to see people seeking out Canadian perspectives at this time.

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jd-loves-fiction · 20 hours ago

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐫

🌑 got lost in the sauce again... The horny sauce this time😭 I love this menace so much it's not funny and the amount of fics for him is honestly criminal so I'm fixing it myself ENJOY!!! :)

⚠️: Spoilers for the Wardance quests, oral sex (m!receiving), not beta read

The cunning fox is never far. Even blinded he finds a way to get to you no matter where you’ve moved – you suspect it has something to do with those exceedingly sharp senses.

“Isn't it a bit early to be cooking?” Jiaoqiu questions softly as he enters the kitchen, hands gravitating to your waist like metal to a magnet, edging under your shirt to drag his nails over your skin. Keeping the knife in your hand steady is a harder task than he ever made it seem when he was the one doing the cooking, “This is just prep, plus aren't you hungry?”

He hums lowly right by your ear, sending shivers down your spine while his ear flicks against your cheek. By the way he sneaks a nail beneath your waistband you know his intentions are anything but innocent. Though you have been neglecting him…

Just as the thought of giving in to him forms in your distracted mind, the bandages still wrapped around your lover’s chest brush against the back of your arms, “You should still be resting.”

He groans in protest, nose burying even deeper into the side of your neck as his hips push lightly against yours while the shadow of his tail flicks in irritation, “Not tired and I’m no cub, no need to treat me like one.”

You sigh heavily, putting the knife down to avoid an accident. The wounds have been closing steadily for some time now and given Foxian's accelerated healing he should be safe to start moving around more, but there’s also the issue of his vision. The last thing you want is to jump right into it like before and overwhelm his senses when he’s still getting used to them again.

The sharp sting of a fang nibbling your ear rips you away from such thoughts, as intended, “Come on, I miss you so much, dear.” he purrs it in that way he knows gets you weak in the knees and bending to his will most of the time. Just not today.

“Jiaoqiu, you know we can't. No matter how much I want to.” You spare a fleeting thought to the fact that the irresponsible one in this situation is the healer out of the two of you.

Said healer goes quiet for a second, huffing in frustration before dropping his head onto your shoulder and that should be it. You think he’s given up – not a chance.

He grumbles to himself as he peels his chest away from your back, teasingly brushing his fluffy tail along your back as he turns. Soft steps are cut off by the loud sound of Jiaoqiu hitting a chair with his shin after misjudging the distance. He raises his hand just as you go to ask if he’s alright, as if feeling your eyes on him.

The pink-haired Foxian sits heavily, legs spread in what would seem like relaxation if not for the hard-on clearly visible beneath the fabric of his loose pants, chest bound with (thankfully) clean bandages.

He opens his eyes to reveal that mesmerizing golden gaze, even though it does not change the fact that he cannot see – he knows what it does to you, “I guess I’ll just get off all by myself.”

Your breath hitches – you know he hears it with how his ear twitches and his lips shift into a pleased smirk, lithe hand drifting purposely slow down his own body. Eyes lingering on his bandages and remembering the awful scars beneath, your hesitation persists, even as you abandon your cooking to watch him.

His hand slips underneath the waistband of his pants as he breathes heavy. All you see is the suggestion of what he’s doing beneath the fabric, neck muscles twitching and tensing as he grips his cock.

Shit. Your self-control is not strong enough for this, “Jiaoqiu…”

“W-What? You can keep cooking, dear. I hope I’m not distracting y-you.” He stutters, sweat sliding down his long neck from where his hair sticks to his skin while his hand speeds up. A sharp canine digs into his plush bottom lip and stars you wish that was you.

“For a healer, you’re being very irresponsible,” You scold, hands gripping the cold counter behind you, “As a healer, denying yourself the satisfaction you crave is much more d-detrimental.”

Him and his clever comebacks. You know full well that the two cannot compare, but you’re past caring at this point. Turning your head up to the ceiling you take a deep steadying breath, weighing your options once more, “Baby, please…”

Fuck it, “You’re a terrible influence, you know that?” he smirks like he’s got you exactly where he wants you, knowing you’re finally giving into him.

Your steps are large and hurried as you make your way to him, kneeling in between his legs without hesitation and lightly pushing his hand away from himself, all while he grins infuriatingly pretty, tail curling from side to side in anticipation.

Taking his cock out into the open air, he takes a deep, steadying breath through his teeth, hands gripping the back of his chair to ground himself. You just hope he won't regret this immediately.

But you can't deny that you’ve missed this – missed him. Your mind has been so crowded with concern and desperation that you haven't even allowed yourself to think of him in such a way for a while now. No wonder he’s feeling this needy, and the fact that you basically have to help him to do every little thing now surely isn't helping his case. You can't imagine all that’s running though his mind since he’s refused to mention the incident since the night he returned home, but you can guess that it’s like a storm in there.

Doesn't mean you’ll go easy on him though.

Wrapping your lips around the head of cock, you relish in the shaky moan that leaves his bitten lips, along with the way his hands twitch – wanting to hold your head and pull you along as he wishes.

All your movements are torturously slow, on purpose – you’ll show him what he gets when he’s being a menace, injured or not.

“Come on, dear. Faster…” He whimpers beautifully, hoping to tempt you into listening from his honeyed tone alone. And though a spike of arousal does make its way between your legs, you’re not one to give in so easily, “What’s wrong? I thought you liked teasing.”

Jiaoqiu’s brow twitches in annoyance, smirk wavering at your gall – words so innocent and yet so biting. He’ll get what you give him at the pace you want, or he’ll get nothing at all.

“If you feel like it’s too much, tell me.” You remind him gently and he nods in understanding. And then, you’re taking him down as far as you can and he nearly chokes on his own breath, a loud moan punched out of throat at the sudden wave of pleasure that rolls through all of his nerve endings.

You pull back a moment later, letting him catch his breath before beginning again, gentler this time, pulling him apart slowly and lovingly. You want to whisper all the reassurances he needs to hear – how good he is, how pretty he sounds, how you love him and all his teasing and how you just want him safe and healthy…

How seeing him in such a state that night nearly broke you. But your mouth is a tad bit busy for so many words, so you settle for rubbing soft circles onto his thigh as you work.

Jiaoqiu pants heavily, eyes squeezed shut with parted lips which let saliva slip between them and down his chin – utterly lost in the way your mouth wraps around him after so long without any such affection, “Please, I’m so–”

He cuts himself off with a resounding moan and under your hands you feel the strength that it takes for him to keep his hips from bucking up into your mouth, pleasured sounds growing in frequency and volume as you speed up, taking him deeper and sealing your lips tighter.

A high-pitched, pitiful cry of your name is followed by the warmth of his cum sliding down your throat, pleasant in its taste as you always expect. You part from him slowly, offering comforting pets to his thigh as he winces in oversensitivity.

“Will you let me cook lunch now?”

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anatombombatallhours · 1 day ago

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I'm celiac, and having a moderate to severe allergy to an extremely common food or food ingredient is a fucking NIGHTMARE--much less several at once. It is something that is difficult to understand unless you or a close loved one have that kind of allergy, but the next time you think someone with a food allergy is overreacting or being needlessly critical of GMOs or food production...

Pick a food allergy and eat as though you cannot have a single trace of it for an entire day. You could choose shellfish, peanuts/tree nuts, or milk, but I'd suggest choosing a filler or emulsifier like soy or wheat or corn. See just how many things you or others around you eat that contain any of the above ingredients, and consider what it would be like to have to avoid them Every Single Fucking Day of Your Life.

People have a right to know what they're eating. People have a right to be able to make those choices and be fully informed.

Did you know that it's not illegal to refrain from listing certain allergens on food packaging in the United States? Even though soy is one of the 8 most common food allergies, when used as an ingredient in the form of refined soy oil or certain uses of soy lecithin, it does not need to be listed on packaging. And don't even get me started on manufacturing cross contamination.

Do not. Do not. Do not. Lie to people about what is in their food. Do not support misinformation and muddying of labels. There is no issue with things like maltodextrin or whatever being included as an ingredient--so long as it is clear if it contains an allergen on the packaging.

While you're wasting all this time scoffing at people with food allergies, we're spending precious spoons and time trying to not die or get hospitalized during the thrice-daily human habit we're all supposed to have. Have some fucking compassion. Jesus fucking christ.

“Meatless alternatives are getting so good, you should try them! I bet you wouldn’t even be able to tell the difference! In fact….”

Please

Please stop trying to sneak-feed me meat alternatives.

I am willing to prepare and share a vegan meal with you, I’m willing to skip animal products in our group spaces.

Please.

Stop trying to sneak-feed me meat alternatives.

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meansevika · 2 days ago

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— this fandom has a vast misogynoirist problem and, yes, this also applies to YOU reading this right now; a post filled w unsorted thoughts you should read if you genuinely want black fans to feel safe in fandom spaces with you

i am going to preface this right away w how disappointed i am in some of the people who follow me, who will occasionally like a post calling out misogynoir but only if its comfortable and only if its worded nicely and only if its against someone they dislike and not someone they do like. i am directly talking to my non-black followers because i do not expect black fans to expose themselves to this kind of hatred and thinly (and not so thinly) veiled racism we are faced w on a daily basis. some of you have a big following and a big portion of that following is white and YOU have the opportunity to use your POWER (and, yes, even in fandoms there are different power dynamics because logging onto twitter dot com does not remove the burden of blackness within overtly white spaces, this too is a space where having white privileges will get you places) and talk about these issues that have been becoming more and more prevalent.

our voices are not heard and when they are heard they get twisted by white and non-black fans who prioritize their love for shipping and their male centeredness over racism within fandom and more importantly: racism that is perpetuated by them. a very loud portion of this fandom has painted an image of "angry black women" without ever actually calling them black women because they are socially aware enough to know that it is racist to say so. instead they say it in different ways: they call us rabid, they call us delusional, they call us homophobic straights and love to strip us of our queerness in the same breath, they call us ableists even though this fandom has had several conversations about this, they call us aggressive, they say we are jealous of a mlm ship, they say we are irrational, they call us everything but the one thing we are: black. yet the painted picture is very clear to me and surely every other black person who has ever engaged dominantly white spaces: the big black bully! this is the easiest way to "aggressive black woman" your way through genuine critcism without ever saying it w those words nor acknowledging the thing you are criticized for.

and it becomes even more obvious when you read-over and over again-those attempts at demonizing an overtly black part of fandom (which mel/meljay fandom is and which i will come back to later) while NONE ever mention the things black people ARE saying because whenever you get ratioed for cuck art, whenever you get asked why you erase mel from the story, whenever people ask where mel is in arcane character group arts, whenever you mischaracterize mel for a mlm ship, whenever you strip her of her feelings, whenever you make her an abuser, whenever you dehuminaze her, whenever you deify her, whenever you cry that you cannot criticize her yet dont ever criticize her outside of that ship you so like, whenever any of this happens black fans HAVE and WILL tell you that this is antiblack, its misogynistic, but most of all-since a word for this phenomenon already exists-it is misogynoir. you are participating in misogynoir. your every like is supporting misogynoir. the active erasure of a black woman in fandom is misogynoir. whenever you strip black fans of their credibility to speak out against racism bc we are just "crazy shippers on an agenda", that is misogynoir too. people who arent in this fandom have been clocking this. they see us saying this. they avoid watching the show or engaging w this fandom because the misogynoir is so prevalent here and it is unchallenged by everyone but black people and a few allys who actually mean their shit when they talk about allyship.

the rest of you barely skim our texts or just go "well im not racist so this doesnt apply to me" instead of listening to us trying to explain what the issue is. you guys are so sure that you are a good ally, that you arent racist, that nothing you do is ever misogynoirist, yet you dont even realize that you dismiss or even silence black voices you dont like by villainizing every black fan who wants to talk about this and uplifting every black person who says the things you want to hear. to the point that a black user here can use the hard r and white people are trying to educate black people why that is okay or isnt okay. all while that person even apologized and had to tell you guys to not speak over black people in defense of them. do you not see that you are tokenizing the black voices you deem comfortable while ignoring every voice that asks for a little bit of accountability in your contribution to the horrid antiblackness on arcanetwt?

but, no, no, rest assured this doesnt just apply to the fans but to the character in question too after all there is a reason why meltwt/meljaytwt is so outspoken on this. it isnt about her partner being shipped w someone else, most of us dont even care for the ship, our issue is the constant attempt at erasing her from the relationship she was in and those are two completely different things even if you blatantly choose to look the other way and fabricate lies. mel medarda, despite always being spoken about as beautiful and complex and such a great character, so far even that people say they want her to leave jayce so they can have her for herself, has a very small following. she has less fics on ao3 than the others, barely any x reader ship despite so many people claiming to shipping themselves with her, she gets less solo art and even less w other people or her canonical ship. she is constantly being othered. just recently we had someone exclude her from group art and saying she was the teacher while her same aged peers were drawn as students. to many she simply doesnt exist and if you care about mel, if you actually do like her, if you seek out her content, this becomes abundantly clear real quick: mel does not exist as a main character to arcanetwt.

she is a side character to many of you. she is a side character like any other black women in fiction because you as fans were conditioned by young age to view black women as that. you are surrounded by the sassy black best friend, the angry black woman, the disposable black girlfriend who will always just be a temporary love interest, side character a and side character b - you grew up in a world where you view black women like that. that is why her fandom is so small. just like any other black female characters are small. no other main character gets this type of treatment other than her. and that her fandom is so small is just another indicator for that. and that it mostly consists of black fans is another indicator too because those very often are the only ones capable to see a black woman as a character in herself and not just a nice compliment in a sentence in between. this, too, is misogynoir btw and saying "well i just prefer this and this character" only works so many times before you gotta put the work in and question your racial bias and i am telling you YOU HAVE TO to OVERCOME that and i am telling you that because i too used to not care about black female characters.

i grew up in a very white society and was one of those kids who were trying to be as white as possible to cater to white ppl and i had to actively unlearn to ignore dark skinned women in any media and woah let me tell you once you do you realize there are so many beautiful characters to obsess over and so many new people to meet and it WILL change your view on a lot of things in fandom and it will make you AWARE and that is a good thing. you should be woke. being woke is a good thing no matter how many people say it isnt. its just nobody can do this for you but you yourself. you will see the mistreatment of fans and you will get angry about this and you will get uncomfortable too bc you might be nonblack you might even be white but that is just what it is and how its going to be and i appeal to you to be loud w us as well, to fight for a fandom space where white fans arent the only ones who get to enjoy sillies and whimsicals, where we can move and have fun w/o being confronted w unchallenged racism and people being too proud to work on their biases or even take any critcism, i beg you to not gaf about aesthetics and what you want your blog to look like and i beg you to not gaf about what your peers might think of you bc trust me you do not want to be the person belittling antiblackness for the sake of getting a few likes on an art piece where two people you like smooch.

this affects real black people even if arcanetwt wants to say we arent real or dont care about black issues. this is a black issue just like it'd be w any recreational activity

#arcane #mel medarda #racism in fandoms #posted this on twitter but tumblr definitely needs to hear this too #kds.txt

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adventuresofalgy · 3 days ago

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When Algy got up on Sunday morning, he found that it was even colder than the day before. The bird baths and ponds were frozen solid, and a thick layer of frost sparkled on the ground.

But Sunday was a day which Algy liked to set aside for the study of poetry, and although it was unpleasantly chilly, the sun was shining and the day was bright.

Recalling that human beings sometimes used what they called a standing desk to read – and in view of the fact that any perch which could support the weight of a book as well as a fluffy bird was likely to send a bitter chill through his tail feathers in such icy weather – Algy decided to try this rather odd method for himself.

As he had chosen a particularly heavy volume of verse, Algy was glad to be able to rest his book on a table, but before long he discovered that standing up to read did not in fact come naturally to a fluffy bird, and it was actually rather awkward and uncomfortable, for although the book was certainly well supported, he himself was not.

Determined not to give up too soon, however, Algy turned the page and began to study a rather abstruse poem by Milton. It was a wee bit difficult to understand, but he knew that what the poet was really trying to say was simply that it was a jolly good idea to have a rest, and with that he could heartily agree. On reflection, however, Algy suspected that in order to follow the poet's recommendation properly, he was going to have to find a much more comfortable position and perch…

Happy Sunday everybody 😀

Cyriack, whose Grandsire on the Royal Bench Of British Themis, with no mean applause Pronounc't, and in his volumes taught our Laws, Which others at their Bar so often wrench: Today deep thoughts resolve with me to drench In mirth, that after no repenting draws; Let Euclid rest, and Archimedes pause, And what the Swede intend, and what the French. To measure life learn thou betimes, and know Toward solid good what leads the nearest way; For other things mild Heav'n a time ordains, And disapproves that care, though wise in show, That with superfluous burden loads the day, And, when God sends a cheerful hour, refrains.

[Algy is reading Sonnet XXI Cyriack, whose Grandsire by the 17th century English poet John Milton. And if anyone would like assistance in interpreting this poem, Algy can recommend this web page, which he believes to be accurate, although he cannot guarantee it. NOTE Algy was concerned to see that some poetry web sites have interpreted the poem to mean almost the exact opposite to what Milton intended. Milton is actually inviting Cyriack to rest from his studies and labours, and have a drink with him - in moderation - and he states that Heaven (i.e. God) has ordained times of rest. Milton is not suggesting that Cyriack should devote himself to study and work and avoid more superficial things, as some online sources suggest, but quite the opposite!]

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ere-the-sun-rises · 6 hours ago

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God, I love the shitshow that is The Clone Wars. We will never know better television. Here's some other highlights:

Alien Nazi re-invents bioterrorism (Blue Shadow Wirus)

Obi-Wan literally says "That's terrorism, Anakin" in a Jedi Council meeting

Barriss and Ahsoka are trapped underground, about to die in a factory explosion, and Luminara's response is "It be like that sometimes"

Obi-Wan and Quinlan Vos break into the house of Jabba's mother to find out where his uncle went

A deserter clone fucks hard enough to get himself a hot Twi'lek wife

Child!Boba Fett crashes an entire star cruiser to kill Mace Windu. Literally only Mace and Anakin survive the crash.

Obi-Wan flirts his way through every conversation he has with an enemy, but only Ventress flirts back

Rex is forced to awkwardly ward off Obi-Wan while Anakin talks to his totally secret wife

Anakin and Ahsoka throw Rex off multiple buildings with the Force and no warning

A clone named Fives uncovers the whole Sith conspiracy because his friend had a seizure and evades capture by blending in because he's LITERALLY A CLONE

Fives and Palpatine have a "You're totally right, but no one will ever believe you" moment, after which Fives punches him in the face

A clone named Cody punches Grievous in the face

Cody also routinely roundhouse kicks droids' heads off

Darth Maul only respects Ahsoka

Despite yelling at Obi-Wan about use of violence, his ex Satine hangs out with Padme - notable people-murderer - as she kills smugglers with no issues. Girl's day out on the town

R2-D2 susses out a double-agent astromech and will not rest until he is The Last One Remaining

On a mission with Jar Jar, a clone commander figures out how to weaponize his incompetence and breaks Obi-Wan and Anakin out of Hondo's hideout

"Spice" is totally space-cocaine. Hondo was going to ransom Obi-Wan and Anakin for two tons of spice.

Everyone totally knows Anakin and Padme are married but maintain the polite fiction

Bly spends every second he's on screen with Aayla Secura doing his best to Look Respectfully

Rex tricks his way into a droid-occupied base by holding up a severed droid head to the camera and saying "Roger Roger". In his regular accent. 0 effort, Nat 20 roll.

Turns out Obi-Wan and Cody are the equivalent of 5-star generals and run an entire systems army by themselves (there are 10 in total). They spend most of their time saving Anakin's ass.

Two clones get adopted by a Twi'lek girl who doesn't even speak their language.

Yoda will stand/sit on the clones

Ahsoka gets her lightsaber stolen and gets a retiree to help her bc she doesn't want to tell Anakin he was right

Rex calls Anakin by his given name exactly once and Anakin is so thrown off by this he mounts a rescue immediately

Obi-Wan beats the shit out of people with his bare hands more than once.

Cody and Rex pet R2-D2.

The Umbara Arc is about team-killing. I'm making it sound much funnier than it is.

In the first three seasons, Obi-Wan's skirt swishes around his legs.

The clones have slurs for the droids that the Jedi also use

Anakin and Padme are trapped aboard an enemy ship and almost get shot multiple times bc they're too busy making out

Obi-Wan fakes his own death, steals the identity and appearence of his would-be-assassin, then spends the rest of his time avoiding death by Anakin or annoying Cad Bane

Obi-Wan and Anakin banter as zombie cicadas almost put a mind-control worm up Luminara's nose

Kit Fisto watches his Padawan get murked and just backflips out of there (like, he physically backflips away then fucks right off)

And lastly, since it cannot be emphasized enough,

R2-D2 kills A LOT of people, and set a few more on fire

stuff they actually let happen on Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Godzilla tried to eat Chancellor Palpatine

Darth Maul came back from the dead as a crime boss with robot legs and had a giant angry brother named Savage

Jabba the Hutt’s uncle was an offensive gay stereotype

Palpatine had a gigantic forehead for literally no reason

Zombie episode

They named a Jedi “I’m Gonna Die” and then killed him

Some senator had a sex robot

All the Twi’leks had French accents

Ahsoka got hunted for sport

Anakin had to do elaborate BDSM roleplay with an evil cat lady

Dooku was almost murdered by the Macbeth witches

Hondo Ohnaka

Yoda made contact with Qui-Gon Jinn’s ghost but the other Jedi just thought he had dementia

0.07 seconds after leaving the Jedi Order, Ahsoka crashed her motorcycle, got a girlfriend, and ended up smuggling drugs for the mob

Anakin and Obi-Wan met the physical incarnations of the Dark and Light Sides of the Force and they looked like a goth drama queen and his cottagecore sister and both of them were furries

Ahsoka got bit by an evil rat which made her evil for awhile

Jar Jar killed a guy

18K notes · View notes

machine-saint · 3 days ago

Text

licensing all my posts under the GPL from now on

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