#“hey jayden how the fuck are you”

[jaydenknight]

"All Vivziepop characters say is FUCK FUCK FUCK nobody actually talks like that!"

Me who works at a small animal hospital in Florida where all my coworkers are 20-50 years old: Lol ur funny

[brainddeadd]

Worries (pt 3)

Nico Hischier x Hughes!sister reader

Jack Hughes x sister!reader, Quinn Hughes x sister!reader, Luke Hughes x sister!reader, Trevor Zegras x platonic!reader, Jayden Williamson x ex!reader (OC)

Warnings: fluff, angst, surgery, and injury mention

You can hear Nico before you see him. The frantic tone of his voice as he practically yells at the poor nurse just doing her job.

"I can't let you in. You're not family-" her voice is calm but you know it won't do much to relax Boone.

"Fuck that, she's my-" Nico cuts himself off, and you can hear the sharp intake of breath as he remembers where he is.

"She's my sister and his girl," Jack supplies, a long suffering sigh leaving his lips. "Idiots think I don't know."

"Yeah, cause everything about Nico right now just screams really good friend," you can practically hear Luke's eye roll.

"Look man I'm sorry we were gonna tell you but right now I don't care all I care about is seeing her before I go fucking insane ok so lady please let me in the room." Nico's voice turns desperate and pleading and you can hear someone pat him on the back.

"Ma'am, that's my baby sister in there, and I really need to see her, please," Quinn's voice is polite, but there's an edge to it you recognise. He's not going to take no for an answer.

"Jack, Neeks-" your voice is weaker than expected, but they both hear you, and Nico barges past the nurse, shoving the door open with a bang, his eyes settling on you in the bed, blood on your face and arms, leg bandaged around your calf.

"Sunneschi," Breathlessly, Nico moves towards you, purposely going around the bed, eyes scanning for anymore injuries before he takes your hand and places a tender kiss on to your lips. "Fuck baby, you scared me."

Your brothers watch the scene with fascination, unable to process the tenderness Nico is displaying. Eventually, Jack grins, head falling backwards in disbelief.

"Can't believe Nico here's gonna be my brother in law," he mutters, coming over to take your other hand. "How you feelin'?"

"Sore from the fall, but ok."

~~

It's three days later when Jack knocks on your door, Quinn and Luke in tow, and scolds you for not telling him about you and Nico. He stands there with his hands on his hips and a frown on his face, looking like a perpetulant child. He settles down when Nico walks into the room, a tray of food in hand, and your medicine ready for you to take.

"Ok, I've got you- oh hey guys- I've got your meds and then I made you some toast with your favourite strawberry jam on it, which is surprisingly difficult to find but I managed, and a hot chocolate cause the coffee machine broke," Nico places the tray down on the small table in front of you, "and I've got your.. where is, fuck hold on-"

Nico rushes from the room, leaving a smiling you and a dumbfounded Jack, only to reappear a few seconds later with a book and a special pencil case he got you for your sticky notes, highlighter and pens.

"Your book," he huffs, placing it beside the tray, smiling as he turns to your brothers. "Hey guys, you want anything?"

"Nah nah, I'm good, thanks," Jack turns slightly, hesitating before shaking his head to himself and leaving, "see y'all later!"

Quinn and Luke give you quick kisses on the forehead before they follow Jack out the door.

Nico turns to you with his eyebrow raised in question, and you shrug, opting to hold your arms out for a hug instead. Nico willingly slides into the hug, careful not to press on any of the places he thinks could hurt (he memorised the list).

~~

"Nico.."

"Yeah baby," his voice is muffled from the way his cheek is pressing to your head. "You ok?"

"M'great," taking his hand in your own, you bring his fingers up to your lips, his fingers flexing slightly from the contact. He presses a kiss to the top of your head, humming contently when he feels your breathing even out.

[azzifuddslover]

UNRAVEL - chapter three

യ paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count: 3.8k

cw: swearing, light self homophobia

notes: i’m so sorry this chapter actually sucks ASS, kinda a filler to get to the next yk. i promise next chapter will be better i’m so excited to write it hehe 😛 anyway make sure to tell me how y’all like it, it honestly makes my whole day. enjoy

FIVE MONTHS LATER

paige, who is now 17 years old, sinks into her cozy bed, the late afternoon light filtering through her window. she opens her phone, hitting the facetime app, heart racing as the familiar sound of the ring echoes throughout the silence of her room. only a moment later, azzi’s face appears, her hair tousled and a playful grin on her full lips.

“hey p,” azzi chirps, her eyes sparkling.

paige feels the underlying warmth spread in her chest. “hey az. how’d your day go?”

azzi shrugs her shoulders, glancing to her side. “i mean, it was alright. nothing too special happened.”

paige’s eyebrows pinch downwards, confusion settling in her expression. she knows azzi too well to know something happened— something worth mentioning.

“az, what happened?”

azzi is silent for a minute, taking the time to think back on the day she’s had. she bites the inside of her cheek, skin becoming tender and raw as she repeats this motion. “jayden… you remember him, right?”

paige rolls her eyes, “how could i forget,” she murmurs, annoyance laced in her tone.

the corners of azzi’s lips tip up, a smirk lurking on her face. “well, i ran into him today, at the movies. i was with my friend, and he wouldn’t stop bothering me.” azzi’s gaze drops to her bedroom floor, continuing, “when i finally told him to leave me alone, he called me a bitch, straight to my face.”

paige’s eyes widen, fury obvious on her features. her hands form fists, fingernails digging into her palms. “that fucking…” she trails off, not quite finding the word to describe him. nothing seems to capture the way she feels towards him at this very moment. “i’m so sorry, azzi. you shouldn’t have to put up with his shit. if he says anything else, please punch him in the face or i’ll do it myself.”

azzi chuckles, already feeling better now that she told her best friend. “oh really? what are you gonna do, fly down here and hunt him down?”

“if i was given the chance,” she smiles, although she is completely serious. she absolutely hates the thought of anyone being anything but nice to azzi— especially if being called names is involved. she desperately wishes she could’ve been there to defend azzi, to put jayden in his place.

“thank you, though. it’s nice knowing i have someone willing to defend me,” azzi says, voice low yet sincere.

“always,” paige says, meeting her eyes through the screen. god, she wants nothing more than to be with azzi right now— hug her tightly, soak up her warmth, press her lips to her soft skin.

the brunette leans against her bed, her curls framing her face. “i wish you were here,” she whispers.

“i wish i was there, too,” paige whispers back, scrunching her lips into a line.

a moment passes with the girls sitting in comfortable silence— paige shuts her eyes, tiredness slowly creeping in.

just as she’s about to let sleep overpower her, azzi speaks up, only loud enough for paige to hear. “what do you think we’d do if you were here, right now?”

paige bites her lip, opening her eyes to see half of the younger girl’s body in frame; she’s in tank top, no bra— paige’s cheeks redden at the sight. “i… don’t know, what would you wanna do?”

azzi shifts in her spot on her bed, “i would want to hug you first— obviously. hug you for hours, if i wished. i’d want to talk to you, in person, ‘cause it’s so different talking not being separated by a screen.”

paige nods, feeling the tension grow between them. “i agree, it is different. better.”

“right?” azzi says. “then i’d want to go to bed, watching a movie or something. not before we cuddle, of course— that’d be my favorite part.”

paige’s blush heightens, her face on fire at this point. she wants so badly for this to become reality; for her to be curled up next to azzi, feeling her body pressed up against hers. “mine too,” she mutters, hiding her face from azzi’s view.

paige begins to drift off, her exhaustion finally washing over her. azzi continues to stare at the blonde, admiration and longing coating her features.

minutes pass with azzi still watching her best friend, who’s sleeping peacefully with her lips slightly parted. azzi adjusts herself, making her position more cozy. a question suddenly forms in her head, deciding to speak up and wake paige.

“paige,” azzi shouts, causing stirs from the sleeping blonde. her eyes crinkle open, gazing down to her friend on the phone screen. “i have a question.”

“what’s up?” she replies, her voice is raspy and low.

“who was your first kiss with?”

paige’s eyes widen, as she is surprised azzi’s asking about anything related to her love life. red blossoms along her cheeks, since she automatically knows the answer, not needing to think about it.

“it was you,” she whispers, not meeting her eyes.

butterflies swirl in azzi’s stomach at her answer— one she did not expect. “that… that was your first kiss?” she asks, referring to their shared kiss all those months ago.

it’s unusual for them to bring up any slip up moments between them; they typically leave it alone, pretending it never happened in the first place.

“yeah,” she says, now embarrassed. “who was yours?”

azzi doesn’t hesitate, “it was you, too,” feeling sort of awkward.

paige scratches her head, unsure where this conversation is leading to. “i didn’t know that.”

“now you do,” she says, looking away.

silence stretches between them, heavy from the weight of the unspoken words. paige fidgets with her fingers, eyes wandering her room, as if searching for a distraction.

“i really didn’t think i was your first,” azzi finally speaks, her voice filled with something deeper, something indescribable.

“yeah, well.. it kinda just happened,” paige replies, pulse thumping. “guess we were caught up in the moment.”

azzi bites her lip, gaze flicking back to the blonde. “do you… regret it?”

paige lets a quiet sigh escape her lips, “no, az, i don’t.”

“me either,” the brunette agrees, “i’m glad it was you.”

paige’s breath hitches in her throat, not expecting those words to come out of her mouth. could azzi feel what she does? something more than friendship between them?

“me too,” paige says, “really glad.”

azzi doesn’t try to hide her smirk, pride bubbling around her. what she doesn’t tell paige, though, is just how glad she is that paige was her first. even more happy that azzi was hers. her mind constantly is taken back to the moment their lips connected— in a soft, meaningful kiss— causing her stomach to swirl with a deeper meaning, one she’s not ready to confront.

azzi’s eyelids slowly close, the world surrounding her being to fade until she’s fully asleep, with paige quietly sleeping on her phone, too.

paige sits on her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks as she tries to stifle her sobs. the sound of muffled crying echoes softly in her room.

suddenly, her bedroom door creaks open, and her mother steps in with a worried expression on her face, deepening as she stares at paige’s red eyes.

“paige, honey? what’s wrong?” she asks gently, her heart sinking at the sight of her daughter being so upset.

paige glances up at her mother, shallowing hard as nerves erupt in her stomach. she absolutely despises being caught so vulnerable, yet the weight of her feelings is quickly becoming unbearable for her to handle alone.

“mom..” paige whispers, unsure how to approach this conversation. “i think i’m…” just as she’s about to say it, she bursts into more sobs, her heart feeling abnormally heavy in her chest.

amy rubs her hand along paige’s arm, trying her best to soothe her daughter— to calm her down, somehow. “what is it? you’re worrying me, paige.”

paige draws her eyebrows together, taking a deep breath, preparing herself to say the words aloud.

“i think i’m inlove with azzi.”

amy smiles lightly, not seemed to be surprised whatsoever. she continues to run her hand up paige’s arm.

“please don’t hate me,” she says so softly amy thinks she must’ve imagined it. “i swear i tried to change— tried to change how i feel, but i can’t help it.”

“baby,” her heart breaking even more, “i would never hate you over someone you love. love is complicated— it’s okay to feel this way.”

paige wipes her eyes, the tension in her chest slowly easing. “i’m so scared azzi doesn’t feel the same,” she mutters, fear running through her veins, “what if i ruin everything?”

“paige, love is scary, but honesty is important,” amy replies, “you won’t know until you talk with her about it. but i don’t think you should worry about it too much— i’ve seen the way azzi looks at you.”

paige’s head snaps up, confusion swirling in her eyes. “what are you talking about?”

amy tilts her head, her smile only growing. “oh paige,” she sighs, “i’m sure you’ll figure it out soon enough.”

with that, amy leans down and lays a quick, motherly kiss on her daughter’s forehead, before getting up and walking towards the bedroom door.

paige watches her leave, with her lips parted, confusion still evident. she tucks a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, her mind continuing to race from their previous conversation. what did she mean, the way she looks at you? paige is positive azzi doesn’t like her like that— her being nothing more than a good friend. she’s never said or done anything— besides their one slip up moment— to make paige think otherwise.

yet the harsh reality of azzi not feeling the way paige does still hurts more than imaginable. she doesn’t know if she can continue to only be friends with her, when she wants nothing more than to break through the friendship walls, developing into something more.

exhausted from all her crying, paige allows her eyes to shut, her world fading away into complete darkness.

FLASHBACK FROM USA BASKETBALL

paige bounces the ball repeatedly on the floor, listening to only the rubber hitting the hardwood and her chattering teammates from across the room. she’s practicing alone— due to the fact azzi hasn’t arrived quite yet— trying to perfect her shooting form before today’s game begins. each bounce grounds her, while her mind continues to race with thoughts of the upcoming game. she adjusts her stance, focusing on her grip and the arc of her shots. the conversations between her USA basketball teammates begin to fade into a background hum as she loses herself in the rhythm of the ball.

with each swish of the net, she feels a rush of confidence, imagining the scoreboard increasing in their favor.

as she inhales a deep breath and lines up another shot, the gym door swings open, and azzi— her best friend— strolls in.

the curly brunette places her belongings in the locker room, before coming out and immediately walking over to where paige is practicing.

“hey p!” azzi smiles at the blonde, “you ready for today’s game?”

paige matches her grin, eyes crinkling, “always.”

paige bounces the basketball over to azzi, to which she lines up at the 3 point line, adjusting her stance and throws it up with her perfect form. of course, the ball swishes through, barely hitting the rim.

“do you ever miss?” paige notes, playfully rolling her eyes at how talented azzi truly is.

“never,” azzi jokes, letting out a small chuckle at paige’s comment.

azzi can’t even explain how much she enjoys paige’s presence— regardless of the fact they only met two months ago. from the moment paige had the courage to walk up to azzi at the first tryouts, there was an unspoken, unexpected connection between the two. azzi loved the way paige approached the game with passion and determination, always pushing her to be better. and even though paige was constantly trying to improve azzi’s game, she would never miss an opportunity to compliment her— telling her how well her shooting really is, how good of a defender she is. azzi wholeheartedly loves that about her.

the coach eventually orders the team to line up, stretch, and begin warming up in preparation for the game in only an hour. throughout the course of their warm ups, paige would occasionally steal glances at azzi, trying to make out the unfamiliar feelings she got whenever she would simply look at her.

the game soon arrived, and the energy in the gym shifted. the buzz of anticipation fills the air as the crowd settles into their spots. paige feels her heart race, not just from the excitement of the game, but also from her connection with azzi.

as the whistle blew, paige takes her position as point guard on the court, adrenaline coursing through her veins. she makes sure to keep an eye on her friend, who radiates with a silent but determined confidence. each basket or play azzi made, paige felt a mix of admiration and something deeper— something she couldn’t quite name.

the game progresses, each play heightening with intensity. paige’s focus was unwavering as she executes her plays— passing to her open teammates as well as shooting some of her own— but she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was about more than just basketball for her. when her and azzi shared glances from across the court, quick but encouraging, it felt like they had some sort of secret language, one that strengthened their bond.

as the third quarter riles down, paige finds herself winding down, letting the pace of the game slow. her gaze naturally locks on the brunette in the corner, then back up at the time— 5 seconds remaining. she throws it over to azzi, who’s already positioned at the 3 point line. she lets the ball leave her hands at a picture perfect arc, swooshing through the net.

the crowd erupts in cheers as the buzzer goes off, indicating the end of the third quarter. the players make their way to the bench, paige automatically rushing for the spot next to azzi. she wraps one arm around her friend’s shoulders, leaning in close.

“that was fucking incredible,” she says, a smile lingering on her lips.

azzi can’t help but blush at her words and the sincerity behind them. she looks down, yet can’t stop the growing grin on her face. she leans into paige’s touch, moving her legs closer so they brush against the blonde’s.

the smile paige wears spreads wider, her eyes crinkling at their closeness.

the two girls don’t pull away until the fourth quarter begins, both running out onto the court, into their positions to finish off the game. the memory of azzi’s leg on hers replays in paige’s mind— she doesn’t quite understand how something so insignificant, so small could have such an affect on her, yet it does.

the USA basketball match eventually comes to a close, with the team winning by 30 points— azzi secured 20 of her own, while paige had a close 18. the girls share rushed hugs before getting their belongings and walking back to the locker room. the exhilaration of the win buzzes off the team, soaking up the high.

once each player reaches the locker room, paige packs up her bag, silent but pleased with her performance. azzi does the same, all with a little smile in her expression.

after stuffing her belongings in her backpack, azzi casually walks over to her friend, eyes locked on her frame.

“hey p,” azzi says, “wanna hangout later?”

paige looks up at the brunette, who’s hair is slightly messy from the game but in a way she adores. “obviously,” she replies, like it was the stupidest question in the world. “what time you thinking?”

azzi glances around, thinking quietly to herself. “uh, maybe like 8? whenever you want.”

“that works with me,” paige answers, nodding her head.

the two girls walk out of the locker room, side by side, excitement radiating off them for them being together later. they’ve hung out almost everyday of the whole USA basketball season— ever since their meet back at the first tryout day— getting to know each other, finding themselves enjoying one another’s company more and more.

the night rolls around— 7:45, to be exact. paige changes into more comfortable clothing, a nike hoodie paired with sweatpants, along with her favorite slides she wears on the daily. her mother is already asleep quietly on the hotel bed, so she doesn’t worry about telling her she’s going to see azzi— not that she’d try to stop her.

she heads down to the hotel lobby, glancing around, looking for a familiar brunette. when she doesn’t see her, she pulls out her phone.

where u at? she hits send.

two minutes ago by with no response, only leaving paige more confused and wondering where she could be. she figures she’s still in her room, considering she did say 8, and she’s a little bit early—

those thoughts are cut off when a hand gently touches her back, fingers slightly gripping her hoodie.

“hey,” azzi smiles at paige, her dimples making an appearance. paige stares at her, in awe of her natural beauty.

“az,” paige whispers, trying to ignore how her heart races from azzi’s touch, “i was wondering where you were.”

the brunette laughs, eyes locked with paige’s blue ones. her hand lingers on paige’s back, the grip on her hoodie only deepening.

the two girls walk towards the hotel doors, where they’re met with a windy breeze of the night. when azzi figures her hand on paige’s back was too much, she lets go— but the blonde already misses her warm touch, so she throws her arm around her shoulders, pulling their bodies a little closer.

the cool of the evening air wraps around them, invigorating and fresh. unsure of where they’re walking to, azzi speaks up.

“where are we going?” azzi questions, turning her head to look at the girl, who’s only mere inches away.

“uh, i’m not sure,” paige trails off, “there’s a park near here. wanna go there?”

“sure, that’s fine.”

the pair continues their walk, not bothering to make conversation as they are comfortable in the silence. as they stroll through the softly lit streets, the quiet of the evening envelops them, punctuated only by the rustle of leaves. the park comes into view, which luckily has no one around.

azzi lets out a small sigh, feeling a sense of calming around her. she leaves paige’s arm that was once wrapped around her shoulders to walk over to the swing set.

she sits on an empty swing, glancing around at her surroundings— the dim light casting soft shadows across the ground. the air is crisp, and the faint smell of grass fills her lungs. azzi gently sways back and forth, her feet barely grazing the ground.

paige watches her for a moment, a smile creeping onto her face. she quickly joins her, taking the swing right next to her.

“what’s been your favorite part of this whole USA thing?” azzi suddenly asks, turning her head towards the blonde.

paige doesn’t need to think about her answer. “meeting you,” she whispers, eyes locking with azzi’s.

butterflies erupt in the younger girl’s stomach, her smile dropping as heat creeps up her neck. she didn’t expect paige to say something quite like that.

the silence between them lingers for a minute, before paige gets up, walking until she reaches a patch of empty grass.

azzi, confused, scrunches her eyebrows downward. she hesitantly stands, joining her friend. paige lies down on the grass— azzi soon joins her, their shoulders barely touching yet the little contact still sends shivers down her spine. they lay there, looking up at the vast night sky dotted with stars.

with the moon casting a light on azzi’s face, paige turns her head to face her, eyes solely focused on the girl beside her. her profile is illuminated by the moonlight, making her features pop. and in this moment, in this lighting, she figures she could stay here forever— right alongside azzi, her best friend, who has never looked prettier.

“it’s beautiful,” azzi whispers, her voice light as she takes in the scene.

“yeah, it really is,” paige replies, although her gaze is on azzi.

a comfortable silence suffocates them once again, but this time it feels charged. paige’s thoughts drift as she painfully tears her eyes off the girl besides her, looking back up at the sky. her heart flutters in a way that’s both exhilarating and terrifying, trying to navigate her feelings that’s making her question if she only views azzi as strictly a friend.

despite the burning tension, azzi reaches for the blonde’s hand, intertwining their fingers tightly.

“meeting you was my favorite, too,” azzi whispers so lightly, paige wonders if she actually said it. “everytime i’m with you, everything feels more alive. i feel more alive. i never knew i could feel that way.”

paige swears her heart stops in her chest in this moment— she forgets to breath as she’s so taken aback at azzi’s words. she squeezes the brunette’s hand, her thumb gently rubbing the knuckles. she looks over at azzi, her lips parted, still in shock.

she turns her body to lay on her side, fully facing the girl. her eyes never waver as she stares at azzi, holding her heart in her hands.

azzi matches her doing, shifting onto her side, facing the older girl as well. she rests her head on one hand, while the other is still clutching paige’s in a strong grip.

in this moment, in the darkness with the moonlight casting a light on the pair, paige realizes she’s inlove with her. inlove with the girl in front of her, her closest friend— azzi. every shared laugh, every whispered secret, every lingering glance floods her mind, reshaping their memories into something deeper, something she never had the courage to confront. the way azzi’s dimply smile brightens the night and the warmth of her presence feels like home, igniting a fire within paige that she can no longer ignore.

as she watches azzi, illuminated by the silvery glow, a rush of hope and fear intertwines in her chest, knowing deep down that this realization has the potential to change everything between them.

the air is thick with unspoken words, a tension that both excites and scares her senseless, leaving her suspended in a moment that feels like an ending, but also a beginning.

[missunderstood-with-ideas]

Not enough people talk about how shitty Mentor Ji and Lord Shiba (Lauren and Jayden’s father) is.

Dude fr set his 5-7 year old son up as monster bait hoping that the monsters will hunt Jayden down and try to kill him all to protect his daughter.

Like that’s got to fuck Jayden up knowing that his father give no shits about his wellbeing and cared more about his sister than him. (Also Japan is a deeply patriarchal society and to have a daughter be considered over the son means that the son is useless or just so unworthy that it’s better that his is dead or disowned than be in charge) And Ji perpetuated this by making sure Jayden knew he was second rate place holder who is easily replaced. Not only that it’s shown that literally everyone but the other rangers knew he was the second son/place holder. (As Urther pendragon (another major AH) once put it “he isn’t worthless he is just worth less.”)

And Jayden is quite literally a Child soldier made by his dead father. Trapped in a house with little to no contact to the outside world to prevent distractions from the Plan. That Plan is that Lauren goes to master the symbol while Jayden draws the Nighlock away by goading them into fighting/killing him. And when Lauren returns Jayden is to leave immediately to prevent sibling infighting/power grab. Imagine telling this to a 5 year old, a 7 year old, a 12 year old, a 15 year old.

Like “Hey! So your sister was sent away to do a very important task and to make sure she succeeds in her very very important task you need to be a soldier and die for her no matter what! Oh also when she comes back you need to leave the only home you know immediately so that you aren’t tempted to challenge her or the other people in the house reject her for you because you aren’t a real Ranger you are just her place holder thus they can’t follow you over her. You got that? Good! You’re such a great brother.” Like???????

Not only that but at the end every one got a happy ending BUT JAYDEN. The other rangers got to leave and return to their lives. Antonio left AGAIN (after crushing so hard for 15!!!years!!!!) to go fishing around the world and go back home. And Lauren got to leave. Lauren got to pack up her stuff and decide to travel the world to find herself and her new purpose. (Good for her!) BUT What did Jayden get? To sit on a bench in the same damn house he was trapped in for his entire life with the man who trained him to die. He gets to sit there. AND CONTINUE TO TRAIN AND BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR ANY NIGHLOCK THAT MAY COME BACK!!!THATS IT!! THATS WHAT HE GETS!!! HE WILL DIE IN THAT HOUSE NEVER KNOWING THE OUTSIDE WORLD BESIDES WHAT HE SAW WHEN HE WAS FIGHTING OR WITH THE TEAM. THATS HIS ENDING!! AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY FOR HIM FOR THIS????

JAYDEN ENDS EXACTLY WHERE HE STARTED ABANDONED ALONE AND TRAPPED IN A HOUSE AND HIS DUTY

ALL BECAUSE OF HIS FUCKING FATHER AND MENTOR JI

Jayden has DADDY ISSUES AND THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN EXPLORED MORE

IN THIS ESSAY I WILL—

[pringle-slut]

let's start things off fun:

i don't think there's actually any doubt in charles' mind that, even if he can't say it back, he will. i think when presented with the information and the option, it won't take him long at all to decide he wants to fall in love with edwin (he already has, he just hasnt clocked it yet) and will be eagerly awaiting the day it finally clicks. idk how much of this is from the modern au fic where charles tells monty "hey sorry you have no chance he's in love with me :)" and how much is just. the way charles looks at edwin The Whole Fucking Time (jayden revri, the actor you are. george blagden would be proud)

hi it's @twostarsandasmileyface but with my a03 name (ooooo) and probably exclusively dbda thoughts! have i posted any dbda fic on ao3 yet?? nope! but i wanna! this'll be the drawing board. i'm sorry in advance for how often i'll be going a little crazy over how stupid hot these people are

[when-jaguars-are-sick]

Feveruary Day 4

Um so this one kind of got away from me... I knew how I wanted to use the prompt but then I started having too much fun with the interactions 😅

Okay, here's Keegan with an upset stomach and lots of talking and texting

------

Keegan sits in his third period, thoroughly relieved he doesn’t have a class to teach or assist with at the moment, since he’s able to contemplate what the fuck is wrong with his stomach.

Seriously, he didn’t eat anything bad, and he’s pretty sure he doesn’t have a fever, it’s just mad at him for some godforsaken reason.

Annoyed, frustrated, and uncomfortable, he unlocks his phone, and without really thinking about it, he texts Alix. Just a simple message of Lex

His phone buzzes with the answered Key, which makes him smile.

It’s followed by What’s up?, and he frowns, drafting a few messages but not sending any, unsure of how to phrase his predicament in a way that doesn’t make him seem like a whiny 4-year-old.

When he hesitates too long, Alix follows his text with another: Just spit it out, Key, you know I don’t mind.

Before he can reply, another text comes through, and this one makes him laugh, when it reads Plus I like you unfiltered

His thumbs hover over the screen for another minute before he rolls his eyes and gives in the urge to be whiny and annoying for a minute.

My stomach hurts, and I don’t know why. It’s really distracting, and uncomfortable, and I don’t want to go to the last class today, but I have to; the teacher is so fucking hard to impress and I need this recommendation.

Sorry, just needed to complain for a minute.

Keegan sighs, the rant offering some relief to the frustration he’s felt brimming in him over the last half hour.

Damn

That sucks

Sorry dude

You want advice, or did you just need to rant?

Keegan types out a Just needed to rant, but changes his mind, instead sending Advice, I guess, and Alix reacts with a laughing emoji, before typing an answer.

Try drinking some water, or tea or something, see if that helps. And take a deep breath, don’t stress too much, I’m sure you’re blowing them all away. But seriously, don’t stay if it’s bothering you too much, your placement teacher will understand.

Okay, he thinks, I can do that. He sends a thumbs up, then smiles when Alix texts And hey, thanks for talking to me :)

His smile turns to a grimace when his stomach whines, and he shifts in discomfort, digging through his bag for his water bottle. The position shifts him a bit too much though, and he blows out a soft burp, eyes darting around worriedly, relieved no one noticed.

Over the next half hour, he periodically drinks, relieved when it doesn’t seem to worsen the pain, the coolness of the water instead offering a distraction.

By the time the day is over, however, the pain has worsened into a tight knot, sitting in his stomach, light cramps rippling through his belly. He’s still confused, not knowing why it’s causing him issues in the first place.

He hurries to his car, making his way home, where he gratefully sets his stuff down and sinks into the couch, hand making its way to his belly.

He settles into a light doze, so it’s kind of a shock when he wakes to find both Alix and Jayden in the room.

He sits up with a groan, and their eyes snap over to him, but they finish their conversation instead of immediately starting with the questions he knows they’re going to ask. He’s grateful, because it gives him a minute to decipher how he’s feeling.

He’s annoyed to find the answer is no better. Still sore and crampy and uncomfortable, except now there’s the added bonus of being kind of nauseous. That kind of nausea where he can clearly feel it, but he doesn’t feel as though he’ll throw up.

Eventually, as he knew they would, Alix and Jayden turn their full attention on him, however their first question is not what he was expecting.

“Have you talked to Jamie?” asks Alix softly, and Keegan frowns.

“About this? No, I haven’t,” he says, confused.

“Don’t you think you should?” pushes Jayden.

“He’s your boyfriend, he’d want to know how you’re feeling,” Alix encourages.

Keegan frowns, shaking his head, “We didn’t have plans for tonight. There’s no need to tell him I have a stomach ache; Do you realize how that sounds?” he finishes incredulously.

Jayden rolls his eyes and scoffs, “Go call your boyfriend, you idiot.”

Alix shoves at Jayden, hissing “Uncalled for!” and turning to Keegan with an exasperated look.

“What he means,” he nudges Jayden again, rolling his eyes, “is that Jamie cares about you: we’ve seen it, and part of that means that he will appreciate knowing that you’re not feeling well, and he’ll want to be here for you.”

Keegan just shrugs, eyes staring unseeingly at the wall as he thinks.

Jayden sighs, before saying gently, “He makes you happy. Wouldn’t that be helpful tonight? I know when things suck, Lexi makes everything seem brighter. It helps.”

Keegan sighs, reaching for his phone and sending Jamie a quick, to the point message, and glances back at his friends to see them melting into each other, locked in a kiss.

He rolls his eyes, leaving them to it and moving to his room, where he lies down, hugging a pillow, stomach still sitting like a rock.

When his phone dings, he snatches it up, anxiously reading Jamie’s response, and breaking out a small smile when it reads, Aw, I’m sorry hon. Could I come over?

Okay.

With Jamie coming over, he finds that Alix and Jayden were right. It feels better knowing he’s coming.

A little while later, when Jamie knocks on his door, and slips into the room, he smiles at him, despite his discomfort.

“Thanks for coming,” he says softly.

Jamie nods, smiling back gently.

“Um, so I couldn’t remember what kind of teas you guys have, so I brought some chamomile, I thought it might help, my mom swears by it. And I found some peppermints, if you’d rather try that, those sometimes help me.”

Keegan blinks at him, surprised. “You… brought stuff?”

Jamie nods, biting his lip, looking worried.

“... thank you.”

He blushes, and shifts on his feet, pushing his glasses up his nose nervously, “I’m gonna go… make some tea?” he asks, sounding unsure.

“Okay.”

As he leaves the room, Keegan buries his face in the pillow, hiding a grin as he realizes once again how kind and thoughtful his boyfriend is.

When he returns with a mug of tea, Keegan’s sitting up against the wall, knees to his chest.

Jamie passes him a mug, and settles on the bed shifting closer to him.

“No, uhh, no closer, please,” he says, staring into the mug, watching the liquid swirl.

“Okay,” says Jamie softly, voice free of judgement, and he settles against the wall, leaving space between them.

Keegan looks dubiously at the tea, hoping his stomach will accept it without complaint.

As he’s drinking, he looks at Jamie, “You said your mom swears by this tea?”

“Yeah, it was mom’s go-to cure for basically everything,” he laughs, “I drank so much of this stuff during my childhood. I was sick of it for years, but I kind of like it now, makes me think of them.”

“That’s sweet.”

“Yeah, just be glad I didn’t bring the more intense “herbal remedies” from my childhood. Those were truly awful,” he shudders.

“Huh?”

“Well, medicine was more expensive than herbs and things, usually, so mami was really into the DIY remedies, and we had to eat and smell so many… concoctions,” and he adds in a whisper, “And they rarely worked.”

Keegan snorts a laugh, and says, “Well, thanks for the potentially helpful tea, then.”

He drinks just under half of it, before shaking his head, and passing it back to Jamie.

"No more... right now," he says through an airy burp, that annoying mid-ground nausea rearing its ugly head again. He tips his head back against the wall, closing his eyes and taking some deep breaths, willing his stomach to sort itself out.

[sacredbbl]

Fraternity Fever

Jake X reader

Tw: swearing; drunkenness , alcohol, marijuana

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Chapter One

Y/N POV

It all started on a crispy autumn afternoon. You had just transferred to the University of Michigan this year from a small community college in your town. It was weird being a junior, but still feeling like a freshman. Your rock had been Jayden; Jayden was not only your roommate but one of your only friends here. As you walked back from your last class of the day, all you could think about was how excited you were to be going back to your dorm. You could finally finish the book you had been trying to read for weeks. You scanned your ID at the door and crashed into your bed. Just then, you saw Jayden’s face . She was waiting for you to come back.

“Y/N what are you doing tonight?”, dog earring your book to keep your page .

“ I am planning on finishing this book, how about you?” Jayden then jumped onto your bed, her curls bouncing as she got up.

”Y/N don’t be lame, It’s a Friday night, let’s go to Sigma Chi Rho’s party!” She stood up and barreled towards your closet. Jayden was beautiful . Her curly brown hair went down to the small of her back and sat perfectly on her sun kissed skin, Her gorgeous green eyes stared into your closet.

“I don’t know anyone, why would I go?”

“Sigma Chi Ro’s are super cool. I know the president, it will be super fun Y/N! If you hate it you can always leave.” She gave you those puppy dog eyes that she knew you could not say no.

“Fine, but you have to pick out my outfit.” You sighed.

She squealed with excitement. She handed you a black dress that fit you in all the best ways. After twenty minutes of getting ready you decided to take a courage shot and start walking to the sigma house. The air was crisp as you walked the ten minutes to the party. As you got closer, the music became clearer and then you could hear yelling.

“Dude you can’t come in, you are going to kill the ratio!” Say a skinny boy with long hair . Jayden told you he was a pledge who was working at the door tonight. He seemed a little buzzed, and angry. He was talking to a freshman boy whose date already went in.

“What the fuck man, I brought a girl!”

“ You are not going to be fucking let in! You know the rules, if you are not a brother you need at least three girls to get in.”

The guy he was fighting with angrily leaves.

Suddenly we were the next people in line.

“Hey Sam what’s up?”Jayden threw her arms around his shoulders in an embrace.

“Nothing much, Jayden, should be fun tonight, tell me if you run into Danny; That fucker is working door tonight and I am not doing push ups because of him.” He said with a chuckle.

“Sure will!” She replied as she grabbed your hand and pulled you through the doorway. As you walked through the door, you made eye contact with Sam, mouthing a thanks. Then you were whisked away into the bustling crowd.

Jake POV

Another morning. The sun had only risen by the time that you had managed to drag yourself out of the bed. The start of the semester once more - as usual, the entire college would be busy tonight, parties having been organized by essentially every group, every society, but most importantly, every frat. All of you had spent weeks planning this one - games were one of the main things that brought everyone to the house, surprisingly. You never spent the majority of my time playing the games - You always had.. other things to attend to. You had found yourself, tonight, in charge of the music. Playlists had been passed around, but you couldn’t seem to find one that fit right, until an old one passed your screen.

The house was busy already - people hurrying around, trying to hang decorations - you didn’t fully understand it, nobody would be spending their night judging us based on the decorations, and the streamers definitely weren’t the main aspect on everybody's lips for weeks afterwards. Like the others, you found yourself skipping the lectures for the day - it was to be expected.

You had been to the store earlier in the day, bulk-buying anything that could have possibly been needed. Forcing the bottles into the cupboard, just about big enough to fit everything, you turned to Josh once everything had been put away - “Everything’s sorted, I think. Who’s coming?” He stared back at you for a moment, before a soft chuckle left his lips “It’s the first day of senior year - literally everyone that we know. Probably the usual suspects - definitely some juniors” he finished with a wink. To say that you had a reputation would be an understatement. You sighed in return, shoving him slightly before making your way back upstairs. Searching the wardrobe, you found yourself running your hands through your hair. Something felt different.

The usual outfit won once again - black jeans and an old band shirt. Opening the dresser drawers, you retrieved the usual necklaces and rings, pulling them on quickly. It was still relatively early, but people were already arriving, making their way into the house, before quickly to the kitchen. Being a senior, it was your job to keep an eye on everyone. Many a night had been ruined by people drinking too much and inevitably fighting. Josh had been dressed for hours, meticulously planning his outfit as he always did. Shooting him a nod as the house began to fill, the two of us got to work. The music was working well already - with people dancing throughout the whole house. You hadn’t expected it to get so busy so quickly.

Danny and Sam had arrived late, as usual. It was odd having somebody that you grew up with being a new pledge, it felt like getting to know them all over again. The four of you had become even closer than before, spending essentially every living moment together - there wasn’t a single thing that happened in any of your lives that the others didn’t know about.

You watched Sam and Danny as they were talking to people, seeing a commotion starting at the door. A soft sigh left your lips as you began to make your way over. Before you could reach the door, Josh gently pushed you out of the way - as president, he was usually the one who would deal with this sort of thing.

You turned on your heel, seeing the crowds of people move like a wave, before making your way back into your room - your safe haven. Pulling a small bag from your dresser, your fingers wrapped around the joint that had been rolled the night before. You moved out onto the balcony, leaning against the railing as you lit the joint between your lips.

A smile found its way onto your lips as you exhaled, looking up at the stars that adorned the night sky. Your hand made its way into your pocket, pulling your phone from it. As you opened it, you found yourself appreciating the quiet - you could feel the vibrations of the bass underneath your feet, and the cold breeze running through your hair. Scrolling through the usual social media, you wound up watching some of the old frat videos from when you were all younger - josh doing his campaigning for president, everybody had seemed completely enamored with him. It was something that you felt a pang of jealousy for - his ability to talk. Whenever he would begin, you loved to watch people’s reactions, seeming to pause whatever they were doing just to listen to him. You, on the other hand, were much quieter - you liked to keep yourself to yourself.

Y/N POV

As Jayden pulled you through the crowd you realized that you recognized a lot of the faces in the crowd from different classes. She then stopped, and you found yourself at the keg. You grabbed a red solo cup and started filling it up with the cheap beer but anything is good as long as you are drunk. She started talking to the boy next to her. He had a warm smile and big, brown eyes. Suddenly he was facing you.

“Hey, I’m Josh let me know if any of these boys bother you. It is my responsibility for you to have fun. After all, I am the president.” As soon as he finished his sentence his attention turned to another pledge

“Danny what the fuck are you doing in here ?” Josh hurried away. You turned back around to find Jayden but she had disappeared. Typical Jayden. You left the keg and walked around the party, anxiously looking for her familiar face. You took the last sip of your beer and grabbed another drink - this time, the jungle juice. You took a sip and gagged. “God that is strong”.Perfect you thought to yourself, as you moved your way through the crowd to find Jayden. Finally after a couple more drinks you found her. She was on a ratty old couch that had certainly seen better days, basically swallowing the blonde whose lap she was on.

Deciding not to interrupt, you tried to find the bathroom.As you stumbled through the crowded house.You felt the alcohol kick in . You stumbled through the bustling hallway, bumping into partiers , You stumbled up the stairs, carefully making sure that you didn't spill any of your alcohol . Once you got to the top, you glided your hand along the wall as you walked down the hallway. You decided to open the last door on the left . As soon as you walked in, you were hit with the scent of marijuana . As your eyes focused you realized you were not in the bathroom.

Josh pov

As you made your way away from the door, seeing that the guy had walked off, seemingly frustrated, you began to make your way through the crowd. You had already decided to not drink as much as you usually would, taking the time to introduce yourself to some of the newer pledges, and the freshmen that had made their way in. An old friend caught your eye - Jayden.

“Hey!” You exclaimed, making your way over to her. As the two of you caught up, you realized that she had brought a friend. Introducing yourself, you did your utmost to make sure that she felt welcome. Before you could continue the conversation - intending to ask about what she was studying, where she was from - something caught your eye. Danny. Stood in a group of juniors, seemingly trying to show off.

”Danny what the fuck are you doing in here?” You began, furrowing your eyebrows. You made your apologies to the girls, before moving towards him “You’re door!”

He seemed to huff at you as he heard you speak, before nodding his head, quickly making his way back to the door, when Sam stood, seemingly trying to deal with someone who was already way too drunk to be here.

As you continued through the house, you filled your cup with a soft drink, doing your best to watch over the heads as everybody moved around.

“Where the fuck is Jake?” You grumble, despite knowing that he had done what he always did - snuck off with somebody. It wasn’t rare that you’d check his bedroom throughout the party, and find him in there with any amount of girls. Each time that you would check, it would be someone different. He never seemed embarrassed when you walked in, if anything, he was proud of himself. Ever since he had joined the frat, the same time that you did, he had built up a reputation for himself - an absolute womanizer. You could count on one hand the amount of girls in the college that he hadn’t slept with at this point. He didn’t seem to mind the reputation, though - it was something that he relished in. It was easy for him, one conversation and the deal seemed to be done. Watching the crowd, your eyes found their way to the door, where Danny and Sam stood, ushering people in. In all honesty, they weren’t the best at keeping the ratio, but they did seem to try their hardest.

Only a small bit later, you could tell that the majority of people were truly feeling the effects of the night - stumbling in and out of the bathroom, talking to people that they had never spoken to before. You found it fun - seeing how people would change when there was alcohol involved.

Jake POV

Having made your way to the chair on the balcony, you noticed the music only getting louder. Grabbing the glass that sat on the floor, you raised it to your lips, allowing the cold water to fill your mouth. Placing the glass down once again, you reached for the lighter on the table. A small sigh left your lips, in all honesty, you didn’t really care about what was going on downstairs, you knew that Josh knew how to handle it. There was nobody new, nobody that you hadn’t already spent an evening with. You didn’t care for any of them, it was nothing but fun for you, just something that you did to pass the time. As the flame danced around the tip of the joint, illuminating your face, you inhaled, the smoke filling your lungs.

It was then that your bedroom door opening caught your attention. Confused for a moment, you stood up, trying to make out the figure. As soon as your eyes adjusted, you realized that, although you didn’t recognise the girl, she was definitely at the party, having essentially fallen through the door.

”Can I help you?” You called, your voice filled with annoyance. You had come up here for a peaceful night, and yet now there’s a stranger standing in the middle of your room. Waiting for her to speak, you pulled open the balcony door, crossing your arms as you watched her. “I asked you a question.” You speak, raising an eyebrow.

“Where am I?” She chokes out while giggling .

As she replied, you couldn’t help the soft chuckle that left your lips - God.. her laugh.

“You’re in my bedroom.”

“Why am I in your bedroom?” she giggled, her words slurred together.

You could feel yourself softening for a moment as she giggled again. Regaining your composure, still leaning in the doorway, you took a moment to reply. “That’s not something that I can answer. You just showed up.”

As you answered, you watched her face turn as white as paper. You knew that the alcohol had gotten to her as she fell to the ground and puked all over herself and your floor.

“Oh my fucking God.” You spoke, considering for a moment the possibility of calling Josh. Staring down at her, you move towards the bathroom, grabbing a towel for her. Coming back into the room, you placed it down beside her, before reluctantly reaching your hand out for her to grab. You didn’t realize it, but she was whimpering .

“I’m sooo sorry” she cried .

You sighed as you watched her, pulling her up from the ground. Unconsciously placing a hand around her waist, you lead her to the bed, allowing her to sit. You paused, and looked at her for a moment - unsure of what exactly you were supposed to do, you just knew that she couldn’t stay in her clothes. You walked to your dresser and grabbed an old tee shirt you didn’t mind losing and an old pair of sweats. “Arms up” you spoke, as you slowly tried to help her change making sure you don't show your frustration. You took the dress that she had came in, throwing it onto the bathroom floor, before looking into the mirror, “What the fuck are you doing?” You whispered, to nobody in particular. Looking back to the bed, you saw that she was still sat there, clearly feeling sorry for herself. You hoped harder than you ever had before that nobody would walk into the room.

Through tears, she spoke again - “I’m so sorry, I’m drunk ……where’s Jayden”

Continuing to look at her, you crossed your arms once more. “Yeah, I noticed.” You knew Jayden - a friend of Josh’s. “Do you want me to go get her?” You hummed, beginning to make your way to the door, looking back at her.

“No, she is busy,” she whispered. You looked at her dumbfounded, unable to understand why she had been left alone in such a state.

“What the fuck do you mean busy?”

“She is probably hooking up with someone right now!” She slurred

You found yourself grumbling as she spoke, “Yeah, okay, sure” you replied, before making your way to the wall across from her. You weren’t too sure what to do with her, but knew that you couldn’t be seen leaving with her. You knew you had a reputation but this would make it even worse.

“Well guess you are taking my bed tonight” You sigh as you laid her on her side. You pulled her shoes from her feet, laying them beside the bed, before sitting onto the couch that lived in the corner of your room. You debated whether to go out into the party to find Josh to see if he could deal with this, but you knew he had a lot to deal with, especially since the pledges were fucking up their jobs - you could handle this. You had been that drunk before. You could help a drunk girl for once without anything happening. Though you had never been sober before while taking care of a drunk girl.

You found yourself lighting the joint once more as you lay back onto the couch, blowing the smoke up towards the ceiling. This hadn’t been how you expected the night to go. Sure, you had ended parties with a girl in your bed before, but not like this, this was different. She was different.

[sluttyl0s3rs]

since you’re taking requests can you do a nsfw charlie x masc reader :3 literally anything you want just to be gay

FIRST REQUEST!!

Parings: dom Charlie walker x sub masc reader

Warnings: sexual content, pain kink, hair pulling, name calling.

Note: AHH my first request! Literally so excited!

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆

You have had a crush on Charlie for a long time. Today you felt extra confident, you told yourself you would talk to him…like every other day.

As you entered your History class you saw Charlie. You walked towards him then the class started and you went back to your seat. As your teacher started to talk

“We are starting the project, I have been telling you all about for two weeks. We are working in pairs as well.”

As the class started to glance at their friends and, asking them if they wanted to be partners.

“No, i am choosing the partners for you guys this time. Last time you guys got no work done.”

The class went silent with a few groans.

“Okay here are the groups. Megan and Brady, Jayden and Mia, Maddison and Junior, Arianna and Kai.”

As the teacher continued to call on names until there was no one left so, you went up to her desk.

“Yes Y/N?”

“I didn’t get partnered with anyone.”

“Ugh.”

As the women stood up.

“Did anyone else not get a partner?”

As Charlie raised his hand.

“There Y/N your partner.”

“Oh, alright.”

“Hey, I’m Charlie.”

“Y/N.”

As you shook his hand. After class you guys weren’t finished with the project yet. You finally thought this was your chance to make a move.

“Hey, wanna go to my house and finish the project after school?”

“Sure.” Charlie said

The whole day you were nervous but, also excited to see Charlie.

After last period you came out your last period and, you went outside to see Charlie waiting for you. Charlie saw you and started to approach you.

“Hey man we gonna go to your house or do something?”

“Whatever you want.”

“Let’s just go to your house.”

“Okay.”

As you guys walked to your house, you kept glancing at Charlie and he noticed but didn’t say anything. Once you guys got there, Charlie sat down on your couch and took out the project.

“So uh Charlie what are we gonna do first.”

“…Aren’t u gay.”

As he asked that you froze. You didn’t know if he was gonna be homophobic or not.

“Uh yea why?”

“How is that?”

As he tried to not make eye contact with you.

“Uh it’s good just a lot of people making comments on my choices but, it’s okay.”

“Mhm.”

After finishing, you guys watches movies for a bit and, your dad had some whiskey and you asked Charlie if he wanted some.

“Yeah I’ll have some.”

“Okay.” As you guys drank the whiskey, after a while you guys got pretty wasted. As Charlie got closer to you and put his hand on your upper thigh. “Hey you know, I always thought you were sexy as fuck.” He said drunkly.

As you froze but then relaxed. “I think you’re sexy too.” As Charlie put his hand more up eventually having his hand resting on your crotch. “Hey, wanna test out something.” Charlie asked. “Uh yeah what is it?”

As Charlie smashed his lips into yours making out with you roughly. Charlie’s hand was still on your crotch now palming it. As you guys made out, you started to tug on his pants to show you wanted them off.

Charlie took off his pants then got off of you. “On your knees.” You obeyed and got on your knees. You tugged on his boxers as he nodded letting you take them down. As his girth was now on your eye level, you took the tip in your mouth. “Mmh, oh fuck.” Charlie put his hand on the back of your head and shoved you down on his cock. “Mhmm t-too much char.”

“Shh just take it.” As he continued to shove your mouth down his cock. The tip grazed up against the back of your throat as you gagged. You were drooling and looking up at Charlie, as your boner started to ache and you palmed it. Charlie’s cock twitched in your mouth “m’close baby can you take it?” As you nodded trying to take it all in your mouth by yourself. Charlie shoved you all the way down his cock and came down your throat. “Now your turn baby.”

Yapping: this shit took like five days to finish, sorry to make you wait but, it’s here now so yay. I hope you enjoy it sorry I left it on a cliffhanger anyways GIVE ME REQUESTS!!😍

[everest81]

Hey just so y'all know I couldn't give less of a shit how I'm referred to, whether male, female, nonbinary, neo, ect, so go fucking wild. I present masc IRL but if your harmless assumption of me is that I'm a girl named Mabel or a twink named Jayden then go buck fuckin' wild with it. I'm downright fuckin' happy happy joy joy with that stuff. No need to dwell over my pronouns and how I present or anything. I could complain about my 5 o'clock shadow growing way too fast or how my wrist hair wraps around too far or something mostly masculine people talk about online and then in that same damn post refer to me using effeminate names/pronouns or whatever and I will pay no mind to it. Hell you could use pet names or some shit as complete strangers. I'm all for it🦹 witch???? Witch???? The wicked???? What art thou doing here???? I thought I had until when the moon covers the sun and the dead around my abode rise to live anew to get rid of the curse??? AaAaaaaAAAAA🦹🔮 GET FUCKED, FRUITCAKE!!!!! 🐸AAA🐸🐸A🐸AAAAA🐸AAA🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸

[nami-moittli]

Technically, most of these are old OCs, but I only posted like 4 of them and I’ve changed a few things since I first came up with them so all that’s to say is: here’s some digimon OCs!

So the basic premise is just kinda what I wrote for Aimon, he’s a kid who was transported to the digital world at a very young age and was raised there, Keenan style. He lived happily with his sister and partner, Pomumon and their mom (who is still undecided) the series starts with him meeting Lisa and Jayden, and when Jayden finds out that this kid is all alone, takes him in leading to Aimon living with the Imai’s! There’s a bunch of side characters, such as Lisa and Jayden’s parents, Jayden’s two friends Lauren and Elio, Lisa’s two friends, Asiyah and Cooper, and eventually Aimon befriends two other boys “his age” Flynn and Senna! Plus, Cooper’s parents Ariana and Manny

Since it takes place mainly in the human world I wanted to add in some digimon characters and decided to take inspiration from 02 (and I guess Ghost Game) and add in digimon in human disguises! Those being Flynn, who’s a Flamemon, Senna, who’s a Strabimon, Ariana who’s an Arukenimon and Manny, a Mummymon!

Cooper is fully human though, being partners with both of his parents. Manny was the one who came up with the last name of Montague, because “Mon” and from the depictions of mummymon we have, he feels like the type of guy to like Shakespeare lol. Flynn and Senna have been staying with them, technically being adopted by them because two kids who don’t have a home address would definitely be noticed, and not for the better. There’s two desperately miss their friends though, and really want to go home to find them again. Meanwhile Ariana and Manny have built a life in the Analog World (what I call the human world) and don’t have any desire to leave. Manny does in fact have an actual medical degree btw and Ariana has grown to really enjoy her tailoring business! Not to mention, even if Cooper thinks he could handle it, they don’t want to raise their child like that

Onto the child who was raised like that, but with even less support, Aimon! Since no one in the digital world where she was found and raised had any idea as to what a human was, her mom had no fucking clue what to do with her lol. They figured out that she didn’t seem to evolve, instead slowly learning and growing instead of all at once. They also figured out that her clothes didn’t grow with her so they had to make her some every time she got too big for her old ones. Or they ripped. Or other reckless kid in the Digiworld situations. “Aimon” was going to be a placeholder name until the baby was a child and knew its name, but uh. Humans evidently don’t work like that, so Aimon it is?

Aimon himself is a pretty happy go lucky kid, who doesn’t seem to think all too much. New place? Huh, weird! Guess I’ll just wonder around taking in the sights for a bit. Oh hey! Some girl wants to play with me! Sure! Where are my parents? Uhh, you mean my mom? I uh, don’t know… I don’t know where I am, actually, I don’t even really know how I got here… *realization hits* oh no… *starts breaking down in tears*

Basically what happened to him when he first arrived in the analog world ^

But uhh yeah. That’s pretty much it, I think? A lot of the story I think would be mainly slice of life-ish with the overarching plot of Aimon, Flynn and Senna trying to find a way home, then there’d be stuff and main plot progression once they do find a way to the Digiworld, but I haven’t figured that out yet. So yeah. Characters! Feel free to ask about them or anything!

[artem1sc0re]

So I have this idea of a little fluff-based AU me and my partner came up with out of the fact that all I’ve really seen if Norman and his late boyfriend Reilly in terms of fanfiction would be angst or just pure tragedy.

So basically in this AU Norman Jayden is a flower shop owner and his bf Jack Reilly is a coffee shop owner. The two of them bond through a collaboration of Norman helping jack’s small coffee shop flourish through vibrant flowers that grow throughout spring as well as a traditional homey cafe with a warm beverage.

It’s kind of my first time writing something to do with Norman dialogue-wise, so I have no idea whether I’ve got his character right or not; so to get to know his character and perhaps look for criticism, I’ve written a one-shot.

Please provide criticism for dialogue and let me know how I can improve!! ^^

(EDIT: I GOT IT POSTED ON AO3!! Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53010700)

A proposition.

The coffee owner initiates cleanup the moment he feels the presence of frequent visitors is bare as a desert; swiping dirty tables and crumbs sluggishly, missing the ever few stains of bitter coffee but remaining unbothered. Although more sluggish than usual, he remains oblivious to the observing presence of a flower shop owner, following his moves with his soft and admiring expression, gleaming through his sage-green eyes.

Jack gives up at the sign of his blind movement, missing the small bits and bobs of stains and ceramic plates, straying to the spruce counter to slouch over and reflect, covering his cracking facade with his trembling hands.

Norman notices this, perking up curiously as he snaps out of his trance. At the first sign of vulnerability, he gets up from his spot in the corner, heading to check up on the gloomy coffee owner.

“You look downtrodden tonight. What’s eating at you?”

He broke the cold silence that loomed the closed up and dimly lit shop.

Reilly straightens, his startled eyes looking at Norman like he was a deer staring at headlights.

“I-it’s nothing really. Just had a bad day, I guess.” He answered reluctantly.

Although reluctance was shown, he takes his face out of his hands still creating a tremor as if he were watered down to nothing but a bundle of shivers.

“O-okay, maybe there is something that’s ‘eating away at me’, as you put it.” Jack quivered, giving in to his own emotional state.

Norman’s eyes remain on Reilly, waiting for the burdened barista to speak his words, nodding softly as to remain attentive.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore. Fuck, everyone’s leaving for the café around the corner. Students who used to study here and used to frequent for a good cuppa’ have vanished, and as I walk, they’re chatting away and working at the ‘haba de café’, as they call it. (I ran out of name ideas.)

I can’t even keep it running with all the cost of good quality beans inflating, or the constant remarks about how the haba de cafe is so much better than this run-down place, with their modern decor of fake and artificial flowers, or posters with LED borders.

I might just shut down this place. Find a new apartment and just work a typical 9-5. It’s tiring trying to keep a positive and optimistic passion for this place, when no one wants to see it.” Jack rambled. His face paints with distraught at the thought of being unable to pursue his passion, instead having to go to a boring job in a cheap apartment.

“Hey. Listen.”

A reassuring hand from Norman lands on Jack’s, causing him to glance at the flower shop owner.

“I’ve seen what this place does, and it has potential. Just because some new coffee shop opened up by some wealthy bastard who wants to leech more money off of loyal customers, doesn’t mean you should put yourself down. If anythin’, you shouldn’t even bother comparing yourself to that place. They’ve got more than one person working, meanwhile you’re a one-man management. You work with enthusiasm and it shows in the drinks and the food just how much love was put into it. It’s why people frequent this place. The quiet atmosphere and the homey aroma of this place is what’s so great about it.” Norman reassured, his tone soft-spoken and attentive.

Jack loosens up, his eyes glancing to the polished countertop, staring at the dim reflection of his inverted counterpart.

“That’s what I intended to create.. a quiet yet homely atmosphere..” He cuts himself off, as if something was ignited in the barista, his eyes lighting up in realisation.

“W-why was i getting so worked up for, in that case? This isn’t about the profit, or gaining money. It was just that I wanted to create this environment, intended for everyone to use, to feel at peace as if they’re just at home, about a hot beverage in the cold winter, creating a warm feeling after a chilly day. I was only getting started! Although.. what can I do? It’s going to remain unchanged even if I regain my love for the relaxed atmosphere of a traditional cafe with hand-brewed coffee.” Jack questioned, glancing at Norman.

“I was thinking of a proposition between you and I. Something that could benefit the both of us.” The florist replied, carefully contemplating the words to say to the coffee shop owner, slowly breaking eye contact with him.

“I could help decorate your place, if you’d like. Since valentine’s is around the corner, as well as spring, the flowers are at their optimum and lovestruck teenagers would be buying roses for their significant others. It could benefit the both of us; allowing promotion of my shop, and attraction to your place.” Norman eventually offered, his observant yet hesitant eyes attempting to gauge the reaction of the barista.

Reilly lit up like a star; the happiest he’s been since he opened the place.

“Are you shitting me?! It’s a perfect idea! It’s just the thing I need! Botany, to add some flourish, life to this place! Externally and internally! You fucking genius!” Reilly grips Norman’s loose hand on his into the form of a handshake, moving it firmly before pulling the florist into a hug.

Norman flinched at the sudden physical showcase of gratitude, but something inside him felt warm, the warmth of being able to possibly revive and bring this cafe back in business.

[bigsunflowergang]

Argument (E1610 Miles)

*I hate [name] soooo reader name isssss Kai(ana) just because I love that name so much. anyways, enjoy!*

Kai and Miles were in her room, laying on her bed. School had just let out for both of them and they both knew it was only a matter of time before Miles had to leave.

they were talking about their days and what all they had to do that week before Kai's phone rang.

"one second babe" she said, answering the phone. "hey twin, wassup"

"say twin," the mystery person started, surprising the hell out of Miles with that deep voice. "you busy right now?"

"yeah, wassup though? what you need?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows and took the phone off speaker and put it to her ear.

Miles sat and stared at her, now overthinking on what the conversation could possible be about that was so secretive.

"oh, okay yeah," she started, her lips curling up into a smile. "what time? i'll be there fasho" she said, standing up.

Miles's eyes followed her as she went into her closet.

"oh shit, yeah I got the same jacket!" she said, too excitedly for Miles's liking. "bet, tell Jayden nem ima come pick them up, aight?you need a ride too?" she asked before pausing and nodding. "okay. everybody be ready by 8. no fucking later or everybody getting left"

"k, see you later twinny" she said before hanging up the phone. she walked out of her closet, humming before she laid back with Miles.

"okay so tonight- okay wait you remember my friend Malik, right?" she asked him as he stared at her blankly.

"what I look like remem-"

"okay okay anyways, so he got a hotel room for us-"

"Y'all?!"

"let me finish! yes us but like us as in our lil group know? me, him, Jayden, mimi, tiasia, and Wes so boom, ima go pick them up around 8ish andddd yeah. you coming?"

"no"

she slowly glared at him, raising an eyebrow.

"deadass?"

"deadass"

she scrunched her face up at him, making him scrunch his back up at her.

"the fuck is your problem?"

"ion got one"

"miles"

"kaiana"

"mannnnn aight. you bugging"

"im bugging? nigga you just interrupted me mid sentence to answer another nigga call!"

"I thought it was important!"

"yeah aight, I hear you"

"miles please grow the fuck up"

he gave her a thumbs up and started scrolling on his phone. she groaned, throwing her body onto his. "you mad for real?" she asked and he glared at her before pushing her body off of his and accidentally making her fall on the floor.

"aight fucking smut" she mumbled, rubbing her head in the spot she hit it on the carpet in her room. "you doing too fucking much. ion say shit when you dip out in the middle of us doing shit-"

"yeah because what I have to go do is actually beneficial for the world. you just wanna go out with them smoochies you call friends-"

"don't fucking talk about my friends like that! especially not when they try to include you in the shit we be doing!"

"don't nobody wanna go out and party all the fucking time kaiana! damn, ion know why y'all think that shit so fun" he mumbled, rolling his eyes as she scoffed.

"you act like that's all we do-" "damn near." he cut her off, making her stare at him stupidly.

"so what? you don't want me going to parties? that's-" "ion give a fuck bout what you do on your own time." he cut her off again.

"stop fucking cutting me off Miles!" she yelled, getting frustrated now. "you not making no good points" he said, still scrolling on his phone.

"you're that mad?" she asked and he shrugged.

she nodded her head. "get the fuck out. take that attitude shit the fuck out my house."

he glared at her before chuckling.

"no"

she groaned, sighing. "please just tell me the problem Miles. this is our time together and we're arguing over my plans for later"

"that's my problem, kai. every time we finally get some us time, some nigga calls, y'all make plans, and the rest of the time we're together you just talk about those plans. I know shit like this is probably boring to you cause I know how you are, but I just want some alone time with you. to talk about shit other than what function you going to when I leave." he said, making her face soften.

"why couldn't you just say that, Miles? Im sorry, I didn't even realize I be doing that" she slightly pouted, playing with her fingers.

he finally put his phone down, and looked over at her. he opened his arms and she crossed hers. "ion know, you might throw me on the floor again" she muttered, rubbing her head again.

his face fell watching her body language towards him. "cmere ma, lemme make it up to you" he said, making her lay in between his arms.

he rubbed up and down her back before kissing her forehead. "im sorry" he said quietly.

"if you don't want me to go, I won't" she said, burring her face into his neck. he chuckled, shaking his head. "of course I want you to go and have fun. I just don't want it to be the subject of every single conversation from then on, yknow?" he said.

she nodded, sighing. "I really didn't realize..." she mumbled.

"it's fine, ma. im sorry for acting like that"

"understandable"

The end.

*this was ass but the next one gon be better I swear*

[morgansmornings]

get to know the author!

name : Stoat, Tori, ‘Hey You with the face’ works too

pronouns : She/Her

preference of communication : Uhm... I prefer DMs. Just so I know basic proof of life? I’m not pushy, nor am I up your nose? I will poke and see if you are okay if I haven’t heard from you in a while. But I admit, communication is my weakness and downfall.

most active muse :  Jayden is slowly getting louder. Then there is the useless lump of werewolf on the couch that I am concerned if he is still breathing. -shrug-

experience / how many years :  I've been writing fanfic since I was in middle school, mostly on my own, but I did get a partner and have more than one composition note book of rp-fic buried in boxes somewhere. But on this platform I have had several failed attempts since.... I wanna say.... 2010? Yeah I know I’m old af. Thank you.

best experience : Since I actually found people to write with Jayden, I have to say that her third active year was the best. I had mutuals, a groove, and just enjoyed writing.

rp pet peeves : Having no Canon Characters, and being a more dominant personality leaning Female Oc... yeah to say finding a foothold or even having someone deign to give me a glance let alone actually read my writing is a bitch with the toxic demands. To say the standards that have been set since the beginning is fucking awful to live up to. Unpopular Opinion, that is sure to get me hate, BUT... as it has come up in many an offline conversation is that *Your Canon was someone’s OC at some point in history!* Just saying, maybe don’t be a dick?

fluff, angst, or smut : Yes? All of them? Though I am not great at writing smut, preferring to fade to black or even move that off the dash. I am not shy about talking about sexual things. I can fluff till the Highland Cows come home. And just don’t ask about Angst. Or if you want just ask @brooklynislandgirl and mention JAHSFF. 

plots or memes : Both?? Both is good.  I prefer plotting even if it takes me 10,000 years and a crick in the neck to even approach you with one to begin with. But Memes are a great ice-breaker. And it gives the chance for Muses to get a first impression. Though existing ships of all kinds are welcome to memes too.

long or short replies :  I am a multi-para writer. I always have been? Meme answers can vary between two and three paragraphs a minimum. I occasionally can do one or to-liners for a meme answer but that is rare.

time to write : For the rest of July, anytime. I just have to actually get off my ass and just write. Between August and May, with Mondays, Fridays, and Saturdays being weird. I’m on in early afternoons.

are you like your muses : I mean maybe? 

Jayden is confident, shaped like I wish I was, know what she wants and goes after it. Doesn’t take shit and is loyal to her friends and family. I have the loyalty part. She is proud where I am not. Full of life and spontaneous where I am more introverted and have to plan every single thing down to the minute with back up plans which lead to me bailing on most things. I over think too much where she is one intrusive impulse from getting arrested most of the time.

Avery is different. As he and I share the level headed, mediator, councilor, voice of reason traits. But clearly he is male and over a foot taller than I am. And far more charming than I could ever be. 

Even then they are parts of what I wish I could be. A living fantasy in written form and escape from what I am as a Mun and person. 

Tagged By: @prettytm Tagging: All five of you still following me

[seanminfl]

Jayden, a petite femboy with cute brown hair and bright green eyes, was feeling rest less in his small apartment, his mind filled with thoughts of his muscular and rugged brother-in-law, Lucas. Lucas, a tall, well-built man with deep brown eyes and short, dark hair, had always caught Jayden's attention.

One day, while Jayden was browsing the internet, he stumbled upon a video of Lucas working out, his chiseled muscles flexing with each repetition of his exercises. Jayden felt a tingling sensation in his stomach, his cock growing hard as he watched the video, mesmerized by Lucas's raw masculinity.

Overwhelmed by his desires, Jayden decided to confront Lucas about his feelings. He mustered up the courage and walked over to Lucas's house on a sunny afternoon, ready to lay his heart on the line.

As he approached Lucas's house, Jayden could hear the sound of Lucas's deep voice, coming from the guest room. Jayden's heart raced with anticipation as he made his way around the house and found Lucas sitting on an exercise ball, doing sit-ups with an intense focus on his workout.

Jayden took a deep breath and approached Lucas, trying to calm his nerves.

"Hey, Lucas," Jayden said, his voice slightly shaking. "I was wondering if I could talk to you about something important?"

Lucas looked up from his exercise ball, his deep brown eyes meeting Jayden's bright green ones. A small smile formed on his lips as he noticed the nervousness in Jayden's voice.

"Of course, Jayden," Lucas replied, his voice thick with a hint of curiosity. "What's on your mind?"

Jayden took a deep breath and began to speak, his words spilling out in a rush of emotion.

"The truth is, Lucas, I've been feeling really attracted to you lately," Jayden admitted, his cheeks flushing with color. "I know it might be a bit taboo, considering our family connection, but I can't deny how I feel."

Lucas paused for a moment, his eyes locked onto Jayden's. He could sense the sincerity in Jayden's words and felt a stirring of desire deep within his loins.

"I've always found you incredibly attractive, Jayden," Lucas confessed, his voice low and filled with desire. "I've been trying to ignore my own feelings for you, but I can't fight it any longer."

Jayden's eyes widened with surprise and excitement as he heard Lucas's confession. Without another word, Lucas stood up from his exercise ball and pulled Jayden into a passionate embrace, their lips meeting in a deep, sensual kiss.

Their tongues intertwined as they explored each other's mouths, their hands roaming across each other's bodies. Jayden could feel Lucas's hard cock pressing against his own, his mind spinning with the realization that he was about to have the most taboo experience of his life.

As they broke apart from their kiss, Lucas began to undress Jayden, revealing his smooth, pale skin and the delicate pink lace panties he was wearing underneath. Jayden blushed with embarrassment, but Lucas's eyes were filled with lust and admiration as he gently traced his fingers over the delicate fabric.

"You are so fucking sexy, Jayden," Lucas murmured, his voice thick with desire. "I can't believe I'm finally going to have you all to myself."

Jayden moaned softly as Lucas reached down and began to caress his hard cock through the lace of his panties. The sensation of Lucas's rough, calloused hands on his smooth, delicate skin sent shivers of pleasure coursing through Jayden's body.

"Fuck, Lucas," Jayden gasped, his voice breathless with desire. "I want you inside me so badly."

Lucas growled with desire at Jayden's words, his cock throbbing with anticipation. He quickly stripped off his own clothes, revealing his muscular, tattooed body in all its glory.

As Jayden laid on the the soft bed and pulled his legs up, Lucas positioned himself behind Jayden, his thick, hard cock sliding between the soft cheeks of Jayden's ass. Jayden moaned softly as he felt Lucas's cock pressing against his hole, the sensation both overwhelming and exhilarating.

"Are you sure you want this, Jayden?" Lucas asked, his voice thick with desire. "We can stop if you're not ready."

"I want it, Lucas," Jayden moaned, his voice filled with need. "Please, fuck me hard."

Lucas growled with desire as he slowly began to push his cock into Jayden's tight, virgin hole. Jayden cried out with a mixture of pleasure and pain as he felt Lucas's thick cock stretching him open, filling him up in a way he had never experienced before.

"Fuck, Jayden, you're so tight," Lucas groaned, his voice thick with lust. "I'm not going to last long inside you."

As Lucas began to thrust his cock in and out of Jayden's tight hole, Jayden reached down and began to stroke his own hard cock, his moans of pleasure growing louder with each passing moment.

"Fuck, Lucas, harder, deeper," Jayden moaned, his voice filled with desire. "I want to feel you deep inside me."

Lucas growled with desire as he began to fuck Jayden harder and faster, his cock slamming in and out of Jayden's tight hole with a forceful rhythm. Jayden could feel the intense pleasure building up inside him, his moans of pleasure growing louder and more desperate with each passing moment.

As Lucas continued to thrust his cock in and out of Jayden's tight hole, Jayden could feel the intense pleasure building up inside him, his moans of pleasure growing louder and more desperate with each passing moment. Suddenly, Jayden felt himself being pushed over the edge, his entire body shuddering with the force of his powerful orgasm.

"Fuck, I'm cumming, Lucas, I'm cumming so hard," Jayden moaned, his voice filled with ecstasy as cum erupted from him, coating Lucas’s hairy body and his own delicate skin.

Lucas growled with desire as he felt Jayden's tight hole clenching around his cock, his own orgasm quickly building up deep within his loins. With a deep, guttural groan, Lucas finally reached his own climax, his thick, warm cum spurting deep inside Jayden's tight hole.

As they both lay there in the soft grass, their bodies slick with sweat and their breathing ragged with exhaustion, Lucas pulled Jayden close to him, their naked bodies pressed together in a passionate embrace.

"That was incredible, Jayden," Lucas murmured, his voice filled with awe and admiration. "I never knew that fucking a man could feel so good."

Jayden smiled softly, his eyes filled with love and affection as he looked up at Lucas.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Lucas," Jayden replied, his voice filled with happiness. "And I'm so grateful that you were willing to explore this taboo side of our relationship."

As they both lay there on the soft bed, their bodies slick with sweat and cum, their breathing ragged with exhaustion. Lucas pulled Jayden close to him, their naked bodies pressed together in a passionate embrace.

"From now on, we'll always have each other," Lucas murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "And nothing, not even our family connection, will ever come between us."

For @b1gbuttb0y

[babydinojojo]

Day 18(8/12/24)

Man, a lot has happened in this past month and shit. Some good, some bad, some I don't fuckin know. Well let's start with the good.

Summer youth finally ended and shit thank god I don't have to go back to that hell hole if a camp ever again, and I'm glad I'm also away from them annoying little spoiled brats, and bro when I say their brain rot is really bad, IT'S BAD! Bro I kid you not these kids were saying "What the sigma" "Skibbdi" and shit and like... Is their generation really fuckin screwed???? These fuckin kids bro were spoiled like how do y'all have iPads at such a young age :/, and not to mention this kid named Ky and that girls table was nice until they got to the last two weeks. The boys table was just straight up annoying, Yes Rohan you were annoying especially nigga always got 15 minutes off gym EVERY FUCKING day except the last 2 days he was here. If I'm being honest here I'd never work with kids again in anyway shape and/or form again.

Me and Vanni celebrated our one year anniversary two weeks ago today, and yea we did a movie sorta marathon, but I enjoyed it at least! We watched this movie, well I forgot what it was called, but it was like this guy had DiD and Vann Vann mentioned how Will was meant to be like this except the DiD part. Well we also got our relationship back on track after..... THAT happened and hey we've been going strong for the past month and frankly I haven't really talked to anyone but her in the past couple of months. I've kinda cut off my friends and sorta just surrounded myself with her, and frankly I'm glad I did, my friends would've just gotten in the way of everything, they're nothing but burdens on me, and hell I don't even consider some of them real fuckin friends. I mean me and Angel still talk but that ain't nothing really, we was close but not anymore and frankly I'm ok with it.

I haven't told Vanni this yet, but I recently discovered what's been preventing me from regressing as of lately. It's my brother, surprise surprise, he's been preventing me from regressing, and it just makes me sad cause he never treats me with any sorts of respect nor does my sister. She hates me for legit no reason at all, and I never did anything to her. Yesterday she fuckin hit me on the head for legitimately no reason and shit and frankly I'm tired of the way she treats me. I never did anything to her at all and I'm frankly confused in why she treats me like this. It's like my sister and brother are both against me for no reason.

Jayden got a new girlfriend, and deadass I fucking hate her annoying ass. They always calling each and EVERY moment of every day and it's like bro why???? I don't call Vanni every waking minute of the day, and yet he does????? Mom tried to do something about it yesterday and she lectured him about him treating me like my equal... Yea you wonder why my grades lower than usual. It's cause of that dumbass. Nigga is ALWAYS on the phone late fucking night and I'm always so damn sleepy to the point where I always forget things or overlook things sometimes this is just ridiculous. Mom rarely does anything about it, and she just lectures him and shit and don't really do anything about it, she just tells him to go to bed and shit and never just.... This is just making me upset just talking about it...

Tigger Warning: Contents from here might involve Depression/Suicidal thoughts/Self Harm

I always had this thought on myself lately where I was just a burden to everyone I know, and even to Vanni, and it's like... I don't know why people want to be around me at this point... I overlook shit, I don't listen, I'm a overweight piece of shit who does nothing but slob away on the couch/in his room all day, and lately every day waking up and getting out of bed has been feeling like a chore. I always let everyone down, I let my parents down with my bad grades and the fact I weight the exact weight as my mom..., my sister hates me for no reason...., my brother doesn't even care about my feelings, I'm always gaslighted or manipulated by everyone in they mother, It's just... I feel like nobody cares about my feelings or ask how I'm doing. I always ask people and shit how they're doing, but yet they never did the same for me....

You know if they're one thing that comforts me at night, it's just... there's an escape from this world. I already planned it out in my head, but it'll never happen cause I don't wanna commit offing myself...

On one faithful day, I was gonna pull up to school but put my stuff down in the library and watch some of the last YouTube videos I'll ever watch... I order a lunch from the cheesecake factory and pick it up from there, and it's a very big meal. It'll be my last one after all. I'll eat it slowly and savor every last bite eating slowly... once I finish it and my drink along with my snacks... I'll say my final goodbyes to my parents, my siblings, and my friends.... and then Vanni.... it'll be one of the most heartbreaking, and gut wrenching goodbyes I would ever give someone... The amount of times I would apologize for doing this too her... But I can't take it anymore..... I wouldn't block her, and since she'll have access to all my social medias I'll give her full control of them from here on out... I love you Vanni... Always and forever... Please cherish the memories and love we've had for each other and thank you being apart of my life, I'll always be forever grateful for it... You really made one of the biggest impacts in my life and I thank you for trying each and everyday and for taking care of yourself... I'll see you in the next life one day Vanni... You'll have control of all my social medias from this day on you can do whatever you please.... After that final goodbye to Vanni... I'll delete my discord, and instagram accounts and uninstall the apps. I'll put my phone into my bag and leave the bag as I slowly walk out of the library and take one last look at the school I went to.... I walked myself to the Bryant Park train station and took a few trains too the East River... I jumped into the water and go deep effectively ending my pain.... As my soul leaves this world never to return...

But then again.... I have so much to live for after all. If I committed suicide I would be hurting everyone who loved me and cared about me to begin with. I can't do that to Vanni or my family.... I don't know I just feel depressed and sad at the moment, and if you come to think of it... I guess I did it too myself.

Onto the next Journal entry... or to emotionally manipulated or gaslighted because I don't know how to speak up for myself for Jack shit! Fuck my life man

[when-jaguars-are-sick]

KEEGAN: Boyfriend Part 1

Alright, so initially, I was going to start Jamie and Keegan's interactions a few months into dating, but I realized there's so much foundation building between is necessary to properly understand their relationship.

Keegan has difficult past experiences that he's still warring with, and trying to put those aside to trust Jamie and feel comfortable sharing pieces of himself with him is not something that happens all at once, and I wanted to be able to explore some of that. And Jamie's rather inexperienced when it comes to dating and he doesn't give his love easily, but when he does he comes into it full-force, and there's so much to explore in the early parts of this dynamic.

Anyway, here's to introducing Jamie and Keegan!

------

*Keegan and Jamie, in a restaurant, on a date, after maybe a month of dating*

“Keegan, what the fuck? Why do you keep doing this?!” Jamie looks at him from across the table, eyes bright with the passion usually reserved for books.

“Why is it so hard to believe that I want to date you? That I like you?” Jamie continues, not noticing that each word leaves cuts on Keegan, blood seeping through the wounds and clouding his vision, making him see red, making him want to stop the words from cutting as hard as hands can.

In a last desperate attempt to make Jamie see reason, and to stop slicing him open, Keegan blurts out every thought that has plagued him for the past few weeks.

“Because I’m no good at this! Because every person that I like, that I get close to, gets bored of the boundaries. Can’t handle always being told no, ends up leaving, and their words hurt just as much as everything else, and I’m left with nothing safe except Alix and Jayden. And they pick up the pieces, just like they always have. But they have each other, and I just keep hoping I can find my Alix or Jayden, but I’m always wrong. And now you’re trying to tell me it will be different this time, but sooner or later you’ll leave too, and this time it will be so much harder because it feels real this time, but I don’t know how to know for sure.”

“Keegan,” Jamie breathes, once again reminded that the person sitting in front of him has suffered so much, but he brushes it off knowing that pity or sympathy is the last thing Keegan needs or wants.

“I understand that you have boundaries. It’s okay. I’m happy with as much touch as you are comfortable with, I get that Alix and Jayden are your safe people the way Colin and Max are mine. I would be perfectly happy with only kissing (or not), or whatever you want to give me, believe me my friends are touchy enough to give me everything I need, and if you honestly think I’m in this for sex, then you don’t know me at all.” His voice cracks at the last statement, and he feels his eyes fill with tears at the admission, willing them not to fall.

He sees Keegan reach for his hand, and he lets him, feeling a brief sense of relief as their warm palms find each other, and something settles in his chest, something right.

“Jamie,” Keegan says, but he doesn’t look at him, instead focused on their connected hands, “Jamie. Bookworm, hey, look at me? Please?”

Jamie glances up to find Keegan’s eyes searching his face for something, something that he must find because his face softens, the defiance leaving all at once, leaving him looking haunted, and scared, and small.

“Keegan, I want this to be different. I’m in this for the long haul. I mean, I can’t promise that it will last forever, but I’m not leaving anytime soon. I can promise that. You’re intriguing, and smart, and so interesting, and I want to know every part of you, I want to be part of every part of your life.”

Keegan still looks unconvinced, one eyebrow raised just higher than the other, and Jamie wracks his brain to figure out how to convince him what he’s saying is true.

“Keegan, you know how when you have a favourite book, you know it’s your favourite because you want to read it again and again? How you can’t stop thinking about it, until you eventually read them again until you know them word for word?” when Keegan gives a slight nod of agreement, Jamie continues, “Well, hon, that’s how I feel about you. You’re like my favourite book, and I don’t want to put you down, and I don’t think I could ever forget you.”

Keegan’s expression has lost the haunted quality, and softened the more Jamie talked, until there are gentle tears tracing tracks down his cheeks, and his mouth holds the most precious smile there, the smile reserved for Jamie.

“Okay?” asks Jamie.

“...Yeah, okay,” answers Keegan quietly.

Just then, the server comes to the table with their dessert, and the server’s smile falters when they catch sight of Keegan’s tears, and their eyes widen and they abandon the desert quickly, rushing off.

After a few seconds of silence, Jamie and Keegan burst into laughter, hands still connected on top of the table, and their connection feels stronger than ever in that moment.

As they start to slide forks through the rich chocolate cake, Keegan looks up and catches Jamie already looking at him, an expression on his face that matches those of the lovesick characters in his books, and he finds his chest lighting with warmth at the thought.

Before his brain can catch up with his mouth, he’s asking the question that he’s wanted to ask from day one, “Hey Jamie,” he waits until Jamie looks up, wide eyed and licking chocolate off his fork, “Would you like to be my boyfriend?” he asks, the words just above a whisper.

“Yes!” he exclaims, before he winces, hesitating. Keegan feels his stomach drop out of his body, and a flash of cold washes over him as he watches Jamie war with himself. Finally, Jamie seems to make a decision.

He opens his mouth, and says, “On two conditions.”

“Okay…?”

“Number one, I need you to stop running away from me. Every time you tell me I’d be better off with someone else, well, it hurts Keegan, and I can’t do that anymore. I’ll tell you that I choose you as much as you need to hear it, but you can’t keep pushing me away. If we’re doing this, we need to be doing this, okay?”

Keegan nods, a smile starting to reform.

“Number two, we need to be better at communicating. This thing will only work if we talk to each other, okay? Both our lives are filled with books, so it can’t be that hard can it?” Keegan laughs, and nods in consideration.

“If something’s bothering you, tell me, okay? And we’ll work on it. If I’m ever unhappy with something, I’ll let you know.”

Keegan thinks deeply about his words for a minute, before giving a firm nod.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

Keegan grins, and before he can help himself, he asks again, “So, you’re my boyfriend?”

“Yes, I am.”

They grin at each other, and Jamie thinks he might have finally convinced Keegan that he’s not going to just disappear on him.

That night is the first time that Keegan kisses him, and it was perfect. Jamie fell asleep that night, riding high on the feeling of Keegan’s lips on his, of Keegan offering that tender piece of himself to Jamie.

------

They have a few beautiful days of bliss, before Keegan doesn’t show up to their date, leaving Jamie standing alone for half an hour. Every minute that passes he feels his heart break just a little bit more, until he can’t stand it anymore and calls his boyfriend.