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pyr0cue · 4 months ago

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People when they don’t read notes or anything else on my blog discussing this and would have less of a reaction if they read any further statements beyond my initial vent post about why I don’t like the movie…like this was a vent post that blew up and I didnt want it to because it’s not serious critique 😭 my later posts are

I’m actually going to use this as an excuse to yap because I have soo many thoughts rattling around in this brain of mine and I didn’t have work today.

(I yapped so much !do not open read more unless you want to read like 10 long ass paragraphs!)

I know this is shocking, but I actually have considered the purpose and themes in this movie and still arrived at the conclusion that it’s not good or new.

Let’s talk about the themes. The most prominent theme is about family dynamics. to be more specific; how the decisions of parents will affect their children. You can disagree, that’s what I got from the plot with Lee and her mom. I actually like that plot! I like how she has a terse relationship with her mom, she calls her when she needs comfort but can’t forgive her for how she grew up. I like how it’s implied that her mom’s hoarding has affected her (I.e her clean, nearly empty room as opposed to the packed house.) I like that the hoarding conceals secrets. I liked that her mom ultimately betrayed her. I don’t like how that whole plot is like?? So separate from the murders. I don’t like that the fathers kill the families, I don’t like that they never choose that themselves by any means, not even coercion, and are ~driven by the devil in a doll~. If your main characters plot and conflict is connected to her mother, for the love of god, the other plots should have something to do with them too. You have to do a lot of conjecture to connect Lee’s relationship with her mom to her father, you have to assume he left rather than never having existed, you have to assume maybe he was violent or abusive, you have to make shit up.

So what symbols relate to that theme? Well, you could say the dolls do. That longleg’s attention to those dolls is motherhood, but that reading calls back to something else I mentioned (briefly) in that og post that apparently doesn’t exist despite many people walking away with that feeling. Ok, then, What other things are connected to Lee or or mom that have attention given to them. The car Longlegs drives? Uhhh. The house? Photographs??? Guns?? Again, for all of these, you have to do some crazy logic to have them symbolize anything to that first theme we discussed. The ONLY potential symbols I can think of is the flashing images of the snakes, but that’s less a symbol of motherhood and more of foreshadowing her mom’s betrayal. And the the prayers, which could represent false promises (I.e the false promise Lee’s mom made to keep her safe? But, I mean, it’s made extremely explicit in the film via a 5 minuet mologue by her mom that her choice to work with Longlegs did actually keep her safe and thus Carter’s daughter safe) Hmmm. So we got nothing. Furthermore, we have no other connection throughout the movie. It would have been easy to have the mother’s kill instead of the fathers, or to give Lee a complicated relationship with her father. But, noooo, Longlegs needs specifically a trustworthy woman to help, why? I guess it has nothing to do with anything to do with Longlegs being even a little bit a trans stereotype. Because I’m crazyyy and somehow doing fake activism by making a vent post about disliking a movie.

Ok, anyway, no symbols there. What about other themes? I’ll list a few that kind of maybe make sense: good vs evil, Satan’s influence, uhhh. Erm. I really got nothing. I guess we could say satan’s presence is a symbol for both his influence and for evil in general? I guess? But that’s lame and kind of basic, and not even a little bit new or unique, most movies about satan use him as a symbol for evil.

Ok, ran out of themes mostly because the movie is poorly constructed and has a lame ass plot with very little real substance. Let’s try to work backwards, I’ll name a few objects that stood out to me in the film and try to make themes out of them, because symbols HAVE TO BE CONNECTED TO A THEME TO BE A SYMBOL. Basic media literacy. Anyway. Let’s think: the dolls, their brains, empty houses/buildings/streets, the colors white and red, prayers/the Bible, Satan, photographs, nighttime, songs, and the cuckoo sound.

Ok we can dismiss a few of these of being theme relevant. Longleg’s “cuckoo” was stated by the actor to simply be something creepy (but it was inspired by his mom! Oh wait, nvm, Longlegs is 100% a cis male and meant to be portrayed and seen as cis). I think photographs are generally used for just atmosphere and fear, with them providing 1/3 of the jumpscares in the movie. They could represent memory, and I could SEE that as being a theme, but I don’t think enough time is spent on memory too much is spent on Lee’s psychic abilities for it to be super prevalent. Mostly because I want themes to say something about the human condition or even just Lee as a person, but in my opinion memory and lack of it is used as a plot device for the ~big twist.~ nighttime/darkness is just used as atmosphere and to create fear (remember in the babadook when they emphasized darkness through stark shots in order to symbolize grief and guilt…yeah Longlegs doesn’t do that). And while I think the emptiness everywhere could be used as a symbol for like…disconnectedness? I also think it’s more prevalently used as a device to create fear and unease, which it does succeed at.

Ok. So now I do think there is some interesting symbols. Well, the colors red and white aren’t exactly unique and are used as always to symbolize purity and how it is corrupted (in this case, usually corruption because of the devil, again not unique.). In the movie, the white makeup on Longlegs (btw, according to the director, a man with bad plastic surgery and white makeup is why Longlegs is scary.) is splattered in blood as he yells “hail Satan” wow so spooky and new! red used to represent the devils final takeover of longleg’s personhood and soul??!! This is so innovative and has never happened ever in any movie before. It’s also used to splatter Lee’s mom’s white nun outfit, and Lee’s white shirt. So it’s there, but not really unique or related to any interesting themes that are any further explored in the movie (again, I see a little bit of time dedicated to the idea of corruption, but Longlegs being ‘corrupted’ isn’t really shown because we only ever see him after that transformation, and the idea of fathers being corrupted by the devil isn’t connected to a larger theme and contradicts and distracts from other themes. Which isn’t to say you can’t have contradicting themes, you just need to actually explore them and not dip into them briefly in bits and pieces.)

Again, I think prayers and Satan are a pretty cut and dry “prayers can’t help you because Satan is evil” I think Satan is a bad motivation for the villian and takes away the agency he has, agency is what makes serial killers scary: that they can make a choice and choose to harm. Longlegs isn’t scary if he doesn’t make a choice, if everything bad he does is actually the work of the devil.

The best most interesting thing in the movie was those dolls. They had so much potential only for the reason behind them existing and how they work to be explained to me in PAINFUL detail: the devil possesses them. WOW scary possessed devil dolls, such a new concept! I think the dolls and their brains could have been so interesting as symbols, symbols of childhood or symbols of motherhood or symbols of fear or symbols of what violence leaves behind. But themes of childhood aren’t very present in this film, motherhood IS but ehhh the only doll really used for that is Lee’s doll (I guess that’s a symbol on its own, I’ll give you that on I didn’t mention before), they aren’t feared by families they’re REVERED, and there’s nothing really left behind, only when the child survives with is. Twice. And not really about the dolls, more so the children themselves. And no, the dolls symbolizing Lee and the other girl is lazy 👍

When I think of movies that are unique and fresh, that added something new to the genre of horror, movies like Longlegs don’t come close!! Ari Aster and his films Hereditary and Midsommar MUCH better pursue and represent the idea of cults and demons and how they hurt families, Hereditary uses the devil/demon as a metaphor for generational trauma, Longlegs doesn’t use it as a symbol for anything, let alone an extended metaphor. Saw (1! Only 1!) utilized new camera techniques and editing, tried out new ideas in color grading, and is the reason Longlegs got to have the gore that it did. Silence of the Lambs, for all the criticisms I have of it, is iconic and popularized crime horror as a genre. Rocky horror, Jordan peele’s movies, the haunting of hill house adaptation, the Blair witch project, there’s so many iconic, innovative movies out there that have unique themes and ideas portrayed through precise character work, innovative filmmaking techniques, and new themes and ideas not really explored on the big screen before.

Longlegs is interesting to me because of how much it attempts to grasp. It wants to be a haunting film about family dynamics like hereditary, and a mysterious crime movie like its inspirations, and a scary supernatural film. It tries to be this big, grand film with so much substance, but it tries to hard. Longlegs is interesting in the ways it fails: in its plot holes, in its poor storytelling, in its confusing elements but its over explaining all the things that aren’t confusing, in its beating of a dead horse that is Satan in horror.

And the thing is: I’ve seen some of Perkin’s other movies. I’ve seen I am the pretty thing that lives in the house, I thought it was new!! Unique!! But ultimately just not all that impactful, but it wasn’t trying to be the film of the century, and it didn’t have to be to be unsettling. Where he fails with Longlegs is trying to make a film that it isn’t. Horror doesn’t have to be the #1 film to be scary, your movie doesn’t need to have a complicated plot to be impactful and deep (especially if you can’t make it cohesive), your villain doesn’t need to be iconic. What makes movies like scream, Halloween, alien, silence of the lambs, etc iconic was that they told a story for the sake of a story, for the sake of fear, NOT for the sake of acclaim or a following or money.

I disliked Longlegs because it claimed to be innovative and terrifying and the film of the century when it was..just a movie. If they had marketed it as a thriller, as unsettling, etc it wouldn’t have left me feeling annoyed and disappointed and it would have lived up to its expectations. I like plenty of films with plotholes and lame plots and lame scares but none of them claim to be better than they are. Horror isn’t about acclaim, you get that by being good at what you do. Perkins is obsessed with how deep his movie is when it’s really not, and everything that could be deep isn’t really shown in the film (I.e Longlegs backstory). Longlegs had so much potential and so little follow through, it’s disappointing.

Fans of this movie love to tell people they’re dumb or stupid because they don’t like it. And I’m never going to ever tell someone they shouldn’t like it!! I’m not trying to cancel it, I’m critiquing it based on my opinions and experiences, it’s not as big of a deal and some people in my tags are making it out to be. Believe it or not, i can say Longlegs was shit and unoriginal and you can disagree with me without being a cunt in my notifications :)

If you have a reading of this movie that is different than mine I WANT TO HEAR IT!! If you see symbols and themes where I don’t TELL ME!! I want To have interesting discussions about a film!! But don’t be a dick.

So yes. Here is my longest post ever in which i prove to the world that I did understand Longlegs and saw what it was trying to do and still think it failed on every level. Media literacy as a buzzword to say ‘I don’t agree with your opinion’ is going to destroy the internet. Again.

Long legs was good for the first 2 mins and then I was like. Oh is nick cage being coded as a trans woman who kills children. And then I was like oh great another movie about murders for Satan like shut uppppp I’ve seen three hundred movies about fucking Satan. I don’t care that’s not scary it’s not interesting or innovative or new. It was so good, the ambience and the visuals and the camera work and the acting were AMAZING and then it was just the same old fucking story about man killing children for Satan. The fuck you mean this is a ‘refreshing’ movie I’ve seen the same thing in a million other movies

#HELP I YAPPED SOOO MUCH #ok but genuinely I think this is an interesting movie and I want to talk about it and why I didn’t like it #I think this is the longest post I’ve ever made #but maybe now that the thoughts are out I can be done with this post #who knows #sorry to my mutuals and followers for yapping so much about a movie I didn’t like #long post #discussion

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porphyriosao3 · 3 years ago

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I was tagged by @ahufflepuffhobbit! I don’t usually fill these out but I will this time, just because :)

Name: Porphyrios on ao3!

Fandoms: Thus far, my main two are Drarry and Bagginshield, though I’ve written a few for Cyberpunk2077, Fallout 4, and Skyrim. Basically anything that gives me a bunch of great characters with interesting possibilities (though usually the games manage to make a pig’s breakfast of the actual stories, gods know why).

Two-shot: I’m fairly prolix, so either it all gets put into one long document (sorry), or else it goes on and on for many more than two chapters (sorry again).

Most popular multi-chapter: Roses of Iron. I personally enjoyed writing Crown of Teeth more, but I’m not surprised more people like Roses. Reshirement seems to be a much-wanted, rarely-offered fic category.

Actual worst part of writing: Getting the desire to write and the time to write to align. Both show up semi-randomly, and since I have a fairly demanding day job, many is the evening where the desire to write is present but the brain is burnt out and it’s almost bedtime by the time I stumble back to my computer.

How you choose your titles: They usually reflect something about the work, though they can be vague in-jokes for the fandom (like, e.g., The Road’s Pretty Long From Here, which is a line repeated enough by an NPC that anyone who ever played Fallout 4 rolls their eyes at it).

Do you outline: Erm, sometimes? I ought to, how’s that for an answer. :D My characters have a tendency to surprise even me with some of the things they do, and so there are several instances where the Critical Key Events of the fic end up changing midstream because they didn’t seem to want to do that, whatever it was :P I just sigh and roll with it, because what else am I to do?

Ideas you probably won’t get to but wouldn’t it be nice: I have a STACK of half-written fics, some quite long, that just don’t seem to want to get finished. I go back, read them, think “huh, that’s a good story, wish someone would finish it” and then go watch the grass grow instead of finishing them. On the upside, I came back and finished ‘Together’ after over a year of that, so who knows?

Callouts @ yourself: BITCH JUST WRITE YOU'RE ON A DEADLINE! (I stole this blatantly from @ahufflepuffhobbit but it can’t be said any better)

Best writing traits: I am a fiddly perfectionist with my writing, which means that I don’t leave dangling plot threads. I’m also a stickler for spelling and grammar. People also seem to really enjoy the plots I put together, but really I just write what seems like the character ‘would’ do :)

Spicy tangential opinion: I don’t know about ‘spicy’, but I am firmly of the opinion that the character of the author doesn’t help or taint the work they produce. If it’s good, it’s good, even if Satan wrote it. If it’s bad, it’s bad, even if it’s a divine revelation. To quote Oscar Wilde, “There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book. Books are well-written or badly written. That is all.”

Tagging: @determamfidd, @chrononautintraining, @tamloid, @thotinshield. Any other writers who follow me and see this please consider yourself tagged and tag me back because I wanna see your answers!

#funsurveys writing good times

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goodomensblog · 5 years ago

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Afterward - Part 9

A Good Omens Choose Your Own Adventure Fic

Here’s how it works:

I’ll write a scene.

At the end of each scene, you’ll be presented with 2-3 options for what the characters will choose to do next.

Comment or reblog to vote for your choice. I’ll count all votes after the first 24 hours after each update is posted.

Read: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8

(#3 is the winner! And the results are...interesting)

Afterward - - Part 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

“I mean,” Gabriel says, shrugging, “I always assumed demons had some way of healing other demons, but if you-”

“Yes, yeah we’ve got ways,” Crowley says with a glare. “But it’s complicated, alright? Some of them only work in Hell. And we can’t exactly pop down for a visit.”

Aziraphale’s hand is gentle, a soothing touch on his shoulder.

“We’ll find another way.”

“There is another way. Might be the best option that we’ve got, given the circumstances.”

“And ...?” Gabriel says, impatiently waving him on. “Come on. Get on with it.”

Aziraphale’s hand remains on Crowley’s shoulder, and at Gabriel’s tone, they share a commiserating look.

If Beelzebub didn’t have information on a rampaging Satan - and potentially hold the key to keeping him at bay, Crowley wouldn’t even be attempting to deal with Gabriel and his over-the-top dickery.

But considering that a crazed Satan does in fact, pose a significant problem for everyone, Aziraphale included, Crowley is willing to deal.

For now.

With a long, deep sigh, Crowley rolls his neck, and begins, “It’s a ritual. One of the ancient ones. Transfers a portion of one being’s life force to another.”

Gabriel, thin lips mercifully closed, is nodding.

“I’ll have to perform the ritual. So you,” Crowley says, nodding sharply at Gabriel, “will have to offer up a bit of angelic life.”

Silence swallows the room.

Gabriel opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again. He tilts his head, blinking, and finally says, stiff and sharp, “Yeah, no. I’m not doing that.”

“Beelzebub is dying, you jackass,” Crowley hisses, gesturing at the burnt demon, small and sunk into Gabriel’s lavish couch. “You’ve got plenty of life to spare. Get the fuck over yourself.”

Beside him, Aziraphale has a hand on Beelzebub’s wrist. He chances a short glance at Gabriel before worriedly re-examining the fading demon.

Arms folded across his chest like a shield, Gabriel shifts, looking between them.

“Gabriel,” Crowley demands.

Twitching in a distinctly uncomfortable manner, the archangel turns a quick circle. A muscle works in his jaw. Rubbing his hands over his arms, he shakes his head once.

“Transporting you all from that church was one thing. But giving up some of my holy energy to — to —” and here, Gabriel glances down at Beelzebub, and blinking, averts his gaze. “I’m an Archangel. It would be beyond blasphemy.”

“But Gabriel,” Aziraphale starts, then stops. Carefully placing Beelzebub’s hand on the couch, he looks up. “I know you’re not on the same side, but you two have worked together. In a sense. And I don’t know the full story, clearly, but Beelzebub trusted you to—”

“Yeah, well they shouldn’t have.”

“Obviously,” Crowley drawls, lips curling back over teeth.

“It can’t be angelic to let a being just die—”

“You—” and here Gabriel stops, pressing a fist against his lips. He hisses a breath through clenched teeth. “There are rules, Aziraphale. And you never got this, but there are the right ways of breaking the rules and the wrong ways. Using one’s own angelic life force to literally breathe life into a demon is the wrong way.”

“...but,” Aziraphale says, shaking his head, “either way, it’s breaking the rules—”

“Plausible deniability, Aziraphale,” Gabriel breathes, and the sound of it is the exhaustion of ages.

“You’re really going to let Beelzebub die on your couch,” Crowley says.

Violet eyes shutter, and Gabriel turns, staring fixedly at the floor.

“My hands are tied.”

“We could make you,” Crowley says, deadly quiet.

“You could try.”

“Crowley, stop. We can’t fight here. If we’re, I mean - I assume Gabriel brought us to...?” Aziraphale halts, glancing at Gabriel for confirmation.

Arms folded, Gabriel gives a short nod.

Heaven.

It’s his second time returning to the above in the span of a few months, and Crowley feels as little this time as he did the first. And it’s - odd, considering that Heaven - or at least his expulsion from it, has been, for many centuries, a topic of particular fixation. His lack of attachment - feeling - anything - with regard to Heaven, now that he, again, stands upon it’s pristine floors, has Crowley thinking, in a vague, distracted sense, of the nature of home.

It’s Aziraphale’s voice, soft and musing, which draws Crowley from his thoughts.

“Release too much power, and they’ll sense our presence here.”

“Gabriel wouldn’t want that either,” Crowley thinks aloud as he refocuses on the problem at hand. Gaze wandering to the twitching Archangel, he adds, “Imagine, being caught red-handed, harboring two demons and an angelic fugitive.”

“It’s a moot point, because we especially do not want to be discovered, Crowley,” Aziraphale says. “I don’t want to imagine what Heaven would do to us, let alone Beelzebub.”

Pressing his lips in a thin line, Aziraphale nods once, apparently arriving at some conclusion.

“I’ll do it,” Aziraphale announces.

“You - um - what?”

“We need Beelzebub. At the very least, to find out what they know,” Aziraphale insists. “I’ll happily give up a portion of my life force to heal them.”

Crowley blinks, and there’s a stuttering rhythm in his ears, because Aziraphale was nearly d—

He can’t even think it.

“You’re an idiot,” Crowley says, tongue curling around the shape of an agitated hiss. “Look at you, still pale from your lassst guh - bloody gavotte with death. You don’t have any extra life to spare, Aziraphale.”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale says, solemn and serious, “I know myself. I know my form. I will be fine.”

Shoulders hunching, Crowley roughly shakes his head, “No. No.” Heaving a sharp breath, he shakes his head again for good measure. “Better idea. How ‘bout we off Gabriel - consequences be damned - and give Beelzebub all his miserable life energy?”

“Dear,” Aziraphale says, as Gabriel calls out—

“Fuck you too, buddy.”

And Crowley is standing, Aziraphale’s hand on his wrist as Gabriel turns, sword re-emerging from the aether-

“You are,” a halting, tremulous voice wheezes, “the actual fucking worst. And I hate... all of you.”

Aziraphale is first to react. Hands fluttering, he drops back to his knees.

“Oh, oh dear. You’d better — oh you really shouldn’t move.”

Ignoring him, Beelzebub claws the couch, attempting to rise - and promptly falls back, raking deep gouges in the cushions on their way back down.

Crowley watches the spectacle, and for Beelzebub’s benefit, lifts a single, unimpressed brow.

Baring their teeth, the demon lord manages a wheezing cough in place of a snarl.

“While you’re up,” Crowley says, conversational, “You’re in support of us killing Gabriel to feed you his life force, yeah? He’s not really in the giving mood, it seems.”

Beelzebub’s dark, slitted eyes shift in Gabriel’s direction.

“...what did you honestly expect?” Beelzebub says, matter-of-fact. “Angels don’t go... go around helping demons. And demons don’t help angels.”

It’s an echo of Gabriel’s own words, but the Archangel determinedly refuses to meet Beelzebub’s gaze. Fingering the edges of his pressed coat, he dips his chin once in silent agreement.

“...we exchange in trades...,” Beelzebub says, their voice little more than a sigh, “...and I’ve got information to trade...if, if you assholes can keep me alive long enough to share it.”

“So we kill Gabriel-”

“Stop offering to kill Gabriel,” Beelzebub snaps, and across the room, the archangel’s shoulders stiffen. “Just,” Beelzebub groans, “...it would be...bit ambitious to ask for a bit of Hellfire, huh?”

“A bit,” Aziraphale says, wincing.

Crowley and Gabriel, in what must be the first time in...well - ever, seem to have the same thought, at the exact same time.

“Now hold on a sec—.”

“Um. About that.”

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Two angels and a demon are TRYING to figure out how to save a friend complicated acquaintance, and they’ve all got different ideas of how to go about doing it...

Gabriel’s idea: steal borrow without, uh, permission, Heaven’s super secret stash of Hellfire, squirreled away after Aziraphale was supposed to be executed. It is well guarded at the best of times, and for reasons Gabriel refuses to talk about, Heaven is on high alert today...

Crowley’s idea: Get in touch with a reliable mostly reliable contact from Hell. Crowley is sure that if he can get back down to the surface and - erm, pays his contact well enough - he’ll be able to get a flask of Hellfire, probably...

Aziraphale’s idea: Go through with the ritual and give up a portion of his life. Crowley is worried over nothing. Truthfully, Aziraphale feels fine. In fact, strangely enough, better than fine…

(AUTHOR’S NOTE - these are all possible plot threads that can and WILL be explored later, so even if it’s not picked this round, mysteries will likely be revisited as the story progresses)

Comment or reblog to vote :)

Read Part 10 Here

#my writing #choose your own adventure fic #good omens #good omens fic #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfiction #ineffable husbands #ineffable husbands fic #ineffable husbands fanfic #ineffable husbands fanfiction #aziraphale #crowley #good omens beelzebub #good omens gabriel #ineffable bureaucracy #eventually #because character development yo

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mushroomsandteeth · 5 years ago

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Favorite Fanwork Day!!!

Too many to pick just one so lets GO!

I'm starting with people who have made fanart and side stories for my fan fiction because I literally think about them everyday and I'm so grateful.

Again, @rainydogco made my baby beautiful, I love it. He looks so handsome like, I think Butch would give you a kiss if he was real.

@felinalain made a side piece to my enormous fan fic that literally stars an in universe cat named Satan. Its adorable and I love it. I'm grateful everyday that such a minor character got attention.

Now onto ACTUAL Venom content

@deluxetrashqueen made this beautiful, almost-too-smart-for-me fic that combines Venom with the Thing novella. It is brilliant and you should be reading it

@dyradoodles said "fuck you Cates I'm making my own canon! With black jack! And a OT3 between Eddie, Flash and Symby!". Seriously though its a good read and a great dive into the mind of Eddie Brock. (Also check out their art, they good)

Eiichi made this AU that is probably one of my favorite Venom AUs. Its 9 parts and my favorite is probably the camping trip. I haven't been able to read the latest parts of it because I'm a baby bitch who can't handle angst, so, if you like angst there is that.

Nitrobot made this big beautiful piece and if you love Black Cat and minor Spider-man villians you should read it. I freaking love this thing. Also rare OT3 of Felicia/Eddie/Symby but it feels so earned.

old_blue made this and it is like Twin Peaks met Venom and had a baby. I kept trying to guess where it would go. This is like my jam and I love it.

Correction, THIS is my jam. Zuzeca mixed Lovecraft with Venom and even though Venom is my primary special interest Lovecraftian lore is my second. So this is just a sandwhiche of two of my favorite things.

LunaLeaf (Nixye) made this based off of the fic @schadenfiend was writing called "The Hand that Feeds". And I recommend both things cus the fic is great if unfinished and this pie recipe is amazing I have made it three times now.

I have more but I'm gonna cut it off here. Go check out @princess-of-peachtrees fics they are all great and too many for me to pick just one. @owlapinart , @d-erm @mentalrhapsody do great art that blows my freaking mind every time they post.

And if I didn't list you its because I spent over 60 minutes on this one post but I swear if you have a fic I most likely have read it and you know I'm always combing the tags for art. I love the fandom here and all our creators you guys rock.

@symbruary

#venom #carnage #symbiotes #fan works #this is the longest i have ever spent on one post

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jowritesthingss · 4 years ago

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A (Demi)Boy and His Demon: Prologue

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairing(s): LoSleep (Logic | Logan + Sleep | Remy)

Rating: Teen

Content Warning(s): lots of swearing, religion mention, demons mention, injury/blood (Remy gets a papercut)

Length: 1,418 words

Brief Summary: Sleep-deprived writer Remy accidentally summons a serious-and-seriously-fed-up demon named Logan. Prologue. In Which Remy Inadvertently Summons a Demon

Fic Masterlist!

In Remy’s defense, he hadn’t exactly meant to summon a demon in the middle of a coffee shop on just another typical Tuesday.

And they most certainly hadn’t meant to bind the poor sap to them for the rest of their (presumably now-shortened and miserable) life.

But there he was.

And that was exactly what he had done.

But—erm, well. We’ll get there.

“Remy!” a familiar voice chirped as said enby pushed the door open to his favorite haunt. “Do you how do?”

“Ugh. Like, horrible.” The answer was instinctual at this point. Usually it was just sarcastic, but on a deadline like this? Satan had nothing on the wrath of an editor.

The echo of the bell ringing bright through his ears, Remy walked over to the front counter, where his good friend and caffeine addiction enabler stood. They tried in vain to pretend that they were swaggering and not at all staggering from sleep deprivation and lack of caffeine.

“So it’ll be the usual for you, then, yeah?” Emile smiled, and god, for all the years they’ve spent working as a barista themselves, Remy would never understand how Emile could stay so upbeat while on-shift.

“You know it, gurl,” Remy answered, fishing out his wallet. “Although gimme the largest size this time, hun’.”

Emile clucked sympathetically, already turning and getting started on Remy’s iced coffee. “Deadline coming up?”

“Uh-huh. Tonight.” Remy sighed, slapping a ten dollar bill onto the counter. “I’m due to get the script for chapter sixty-nine to Remus, but like, he’s been too busy giggling over the number of the upcoming chapter to finish the one we’re supposed to publish tomorrow. Virgil’s on the warpath, and I’ve been roped into designing shit to make up for Remus falling behind.” He rolled his eyes.

“Golly, that sure sounds rough.” Emile slid some ice into Remy’s coffee before popping a lid on it, swirling it a couple times, and sliding it across the counter with some verbal sound effects to accompany it. He picked up the tenner and began to punch things into the cash register, counting out change for Remy. “But I believe in you!”

“Gurl, you shouldn’t. I don’t,” Remy snickered. They reached back into their bag, groping around for their reusable straw. Pulling it out, he popped it into his cup. “There’s a reason I’m the brains behind the writing of this operation, not the art. You think I’d be working with those idiots if I had a choice?”

“Yes, I do,” Emile said mildly. He handed over Remy’s change.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s fair.” Shoving his change into the tips jar, Remy rolled his eyes. Again. They did that a lot. Which, how could he not, when he was surrounded by so many dorks?

“Anyways, I’ll be in my usual corner, I guess.” Remy jerked their head towards their usual corner table. “Lemme know if you need any help back there, babe. Or if any tea needs spilling.” They winked at Emile from behind their sunglasses before turning and heading to sit down.

Once seated, Remy pulled out his laptop and the battered spiral notebook that he kept most of his ideas for their comic in. Exchanging their sunglasses somewhat reluctantly for a pair of blue light glasses, he booted up his computer. Then, after setting everything up in its typical position and connecting to the wifi in the coffee shop, Remy allowed themself a moment to sit back and sip at their iced coffee.

The contrasting tastes of sweet white mocha and bitter coffee filled his mouth, and Remy felt his shoulders relax for what had to be the first time in twelve to twenty-four hours.

Classes earlier in the day had been an absolute nightmare of scribbling in margins and surreptitiously typing the script up on his phone when professors weren’t looking. Then the night before had been a horror-filled dream sequence of exhaustion and trying to write actual content down without falling asleep on the keyboard and waking up with the L key imprinted on their nose and sixteen pages of keysmashes.

So suffice to say, Remy was not having a good time. But the iced coffee? It warmed their gay little heart. It made things just a bit more bearable on days like this.

All too soon the buzzing of his phone reminded Remy of their subsequent impending deadline and doom, and he came crashing back down to earth.

Sipping once more at their iced coffee, Remy set it off to the side, slipping in his earbuds and focusing in on the Word document in front of him. They began to type.

Three hours and two refills later, Remy had finished chapter sixty-nine, had sent it to Virgil to look over, and had even started on chapter seventy for a good measure.

Until Virgil sent back his edits, Remy’s focus of the moment had shifted to designs for chapter sixty-six, which Remus should’ve started drawing a few days ago, but nooo, the asshat wasn’t even done shading sixty-five, which was supposed to be posted in...Remy consulted their phone...in roughly six hours now. Fuck.

Remy couldn’t draw for shit, but they could research like nobody’s business, and designing and sketching was simple enough, so he wasn’t entirely unused to getting dragged into stuff like physical character designs and the creation of symbols and outfits (Remus was far too oafish and uncoordinated when it came to fashion, anyway).

Shaky as Remy’s art was, Remus certainly knew how to pick out what he liked from Remy’s miserable excuses for sketches, at least, so their partnership worked well enough...even if Remy privately thought his similarly-named partner acted like a dolt and smelled like minute ramen (and not even the good kind! more like the shrimp kind, and what the fuck kind of imbecile eats shrimp-flavored microwave ramen).

Finally satisfied with the roughly-sketched summoning circle that they had copied from the web, Remy exited out of Google Images.

Summoning circles, Remy had to admit, were a new topic of research for him. Their story—a Good Omens-type comic centering around an angel and a demon trapped in the human world—had required plenty of research into religion and religious imagery, of which they had not been a fan, but for some reason summoning circles had never really cropped up on their radar.

Remy may not have been a fan of the concept of angels, but he certainly wasn’t a fan of the concept of demons and the occult, either, so digging through the ominously dark websites had been...interesting. Eventually they had just given up and straight-up copied a summoning circle at random. They could take that and go from there, adding their own flair to it.

Remy looked down at the shaky summoning circle he had sketched out before him. It was kinda lopsided, but it was whatever. It was also much too boring, if you asked him. When they sent Remus their final reference, they’d put a note in the margins telling him to add some of that weird gory imagery stuff he was obsessed with. “Creep would really like that, huh,” Remy muttered aloud to himself.

Scrutinizing the copied circle for a few more moments, Remy mentally listed out some of the changes they wanted to make—an extra line here, a circle there, take out that square—and they reached into their backpack for one of the random looseleaf sheets of paper he always had floating around in there. Only, they grabbed at the wrong corner of the paper.

Feeling the sheet of paper slice into their pointer finger, Remy quietly hissed out a breath. “Fuck.” He drew his finger out of the bag, pulling it up to his face to get a good look at the injury, and shit, the papercut was bad enough that it was actually bleeding.

“Goddammit,” Remy cursed as a few drops of crimson splattered onto the paper in front of them, blurring over the details of the summoning circle he had drawn.

Remy popped his finger into his mouth and sucked at the smidgen of blood leaking out. Deciding to actually look at what they were sticking their hand into this time, they turned to the left, fully intending to practically stick his head into his bag to find a napkin and that pesky sheet of paper both.

This was how they came to be aware of the person who appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, to stand to the side of their table.

Prologue || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six

This was supposed to be a one-shot, but Remy told Logan to hold their coffee and then bullied me into making it a prologue and six chapters’ worth of useless gays. I accept my defeat with dignity and insist that it was, in fact, actually my decision in order to get used to writing multi-chap things again before I tackle my Big Bad AUs.

Want to be added onto any of my taglists? Shoot me an ask or a message here or via my other social media!

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tokumusume · 5 years ago

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tokumusume’s list of best and worst movies and dramas watched in 2019:

There’s a new category this year. Inspired by kpopalypse, welcome the Honorable Mentions! Movies that weren’t exactly bad but also weren’t good. Movies and dramas are qualified to enter if I watched them for the first time this year, not that they were released this year. Click on ‘keep reading’~~

Best Movies:

1. Parasite

Another masterpiece from the director of Snowpiercer (let’s pretend Okja never existed). A poor family con their way to a rich household. Choi Woo-Shik from The Witch (see below) is the eldest son and mastermind, fabulous as always. Definitely the best movie of this year. For me, movie of the decade.

2. The Witch Part 1 The Subversion

This movie is amazing, hard to describe without spoilers. A perfect mix of Stranger Things and Hanna. Choi Woo-Shik can come to my house and kick my ass anytime. I can’t wait for part two.

3. Death Trance

Visually stunning, kinda like Amemiya Keita’s style in early Garo or Mad Max. I wish the movie was longer and the characters were better fleshed out, Ryuen the monk and the little girl had so much potential... The most interesting thing about this movie is how sexualized the main male character is compared to the female ones, and apparently, the swords were designed to look like veiny penises (can’t find a source for this info), and yes, they do look like veiny penises. The final showdown is heavy with sexual energy. Have I already said that Ryuen deserved better? #RyuenRights

4. Gintama 2: Rules are made to be broken

The barber shop scene is a fucking cinematic masterpiece. I never laughed so much like I did with this movie. The way it doesn’t take itself seriously, the meta jokes, everything is perfect. Even better than the first one.

5. Kingdom

While I think that some fight scenes were way too long (like the bamboo forest one), the dynamics between Shin and Hyou/Eisei were highly entertaining, at least in my shipper eyes. I like that (SPOILER) the King of the Mountain People is a woman and not once they try to call her Queen. She is a King. Hashimoto Kanna is adorable as a Ten, Kanata Hongo does a great job as Eisei’s psycho brother, Sakaguchi Tak waves his sword around, the usual stuff but with added layers of dirt and sweat.

6. Bravestorm

A movie I lovingly call “Japanese Pacific Rim”. Full of Kamen Rider stars (Hino Eiji! Misuzawa Haruka! That girl from Heisei Generations, the one with a sword! She has a sword in this as well!) and giant robots (god, I love giant robots!), I waited so much for this movie and it exceeded my expectations. I just wish I could’ve watched in theaters, it had a limited showing in my country.

7. Twelve Suicidal Children

What begins as a murder mystery ends with a twist you won’t see coming. All of the actors are amazing, but special mention to Sugisaki Hana and that guy from that one boy group I forgot the name but can’t be bothered to Google.

8. Gakkou Gurashi

Four girls and their teacher try to survive the zombie apocalypse trapped inside the school. This one destroyed me for days.

9. Forest of Love

I’ve watched some Sono Sion movies but nothing prepared me for this. Be aware of extremely gory sequences and sensitive topics. Hinami Kyoko is so amazing as blue-haired, punk girl crush Taeko that I totally didn’t notice she was AkibaBlue in Akibaranger.

10. The Host

After watching Parasite I decided to go on a Bong Joon Ho binge and watched this horror movie. Not as good as Snowpiercer and Parasite in my opinion but heart-wrenching nevertheless. The little girl is the star of the movie.

11. The Hungry Lion

A story about the dangers of social media and slut-shaming. I want to punch Mizuishi Atom in the face.

12. Cromartie High

A little absurd comedy about yakuza-style high school boys (played by middle-aged men lol) forming a club to battle aliens summoned by themselves just because. It made me laugh like a child. A hidden gem.

Honorable Mentions:

1. River’s Edge

Depressing as fuck. Warning: the cats die. It’s not graphic but it’s traumatizing. Yoshizawa Ryo is a gay boy who sleeps with old men for money. There’s a graphic sex scene (not Yoshizawa, sadly) where my only thought was “That thing is gonna get stuck in there! Use a condom!” Can’t remember much from it except for these three scenes.

2. The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Yamazaki Kento has the acting chops of a dead fish but it comes handy for playing a teen with psychic abilities and zero social skills. Hashimoto Kanna is one of the prettiest girls in Japan. Yoshizawa Ryo with white and blueish hair looks more like Sakata Gintoki than Oguri Shun in the Gintama live action. The end is a huge let down but the fun ride is worth it.

3. Ano ko no, Toriko

Congratulations to Yoshizawa Ryo, he has FIVE movies in my list of favorite movies this year! This is to make up for crowning GIVER as the biggest waste of time of 2018, this list is totally not biased, lol. “Ano ko” could be just another romance movie but the (very) little insight into how the entertainment industry works and not focusing on school life made me love it. Poor Sugino Yosuke being left behind again, when will this boy get the main girl?

4. Monstrum

It doesn’t reinvent the wheel but it’s pleasant enough to fill a rainy afternoon with a lot of blood and spilled guts. Hyeri of Girl’s Day is the heroine and Choi Woo Shik is the commander she falls in love with.

5. Weirdo Go

I confess I watched this one just to see Ji Li (aka my snake son Nie Huaisang) dressed as a woman but it was enjoyable and not that problematic.

6. Real - Kanzen Naru Kubinagaryu no Hi

Directed by the same guy that did “Creepy” and “Before we vanish”, there are lots of twists you won’t see coming. And a dinosaur. A fucking dinosaur.

7. Tomodachi Game: The Final

The movie loses its focus halfway through then picks up again minutes before ending. Yoshizawa Ryo delivers again as the sadistic Yuuichi, much like his role in Gintama. The plot twists are the star of the movie.

8. The Living Dead

Sorry Wen Ning. I saw the plot twist coming in the first 30 minutes of the movie, not very smart of the writer. His personality did a 180° turn for worse and I’ll demote the movie to an honorable mention for it. Gao Han is cute though, I would like to see him as a better character.

9. Backstreet Girls

Some recycled scenes from the drama to situate the viewers, a completely new story for the movie, it is certainly funny and enjoyable, if you can get past the forced gender reassignment surgery background and transphobic jokes (you shouldn’t get past it btw). I like the soundtrack.

Best Dramas:

1. The Untamed

Do I need to say more?

2. The Tale of Nokdu

This Korean romance had everything to be a mess but it wasn’t!!! *claps* I don’t hate the main female character and the whole palace politics actually kept me interested until the end. The complete shift of atmosphere mid-season was strange at first but ultimately very welcomed.

3. The Naked Director

Netflix original Japanese content is amazing. This one is a look at the life of a legendary porn director in the late 80s, I learned a lot about the history of Japanese porn and censorship (yay pixels!) and went looking for his, erm, works. Very graphic, 69/10 don’t recommend watching with people in the house.

4. Channel wa Sonomama!

I don’t remember it well but it’s about a news station and what is like to be a journalist and it was very interesting and funny.

5. SCAMS

Forgettable. Sugino Yosuke with black hair cons old people via phone calls.

Worst Movies and Dramas:

1. The cat in their arms

The cats spend 90% of the movie in human forms, and halfway through it they simply abandon the cats’ plot to show a fucking long montage of a weird guy painting a picture of a nude girl. It’s also super creepy to see a grown-up man acting like a cat, getting belly rubs and eating cat food from a bowl. Yoshizawa needs to choose his roles more wisely.

2. Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun

A waste of Suda Masaki’s talent. Can Japan stop casting Tsuchiya Tao already?

3. Samurai Marathon

Almost two hours of dirty men running through a forest. Maybe Japanese History experts will enjoy it, because I certainly didn’t.

4. Lady Vengeance

While there are legit great moments, I didn’t find this “classic” to be anything special. The animal cruelty was too much for me.

5. Hot Gimmick

This movie makes Bohemian Rhapsody’s editing look like a work of art. There are more flashing cuts than a T-ARA music video. I have no idea who likes who, who’s banging who, what even are they saying. Too much poetic shit for my like. I wanted to see Shimizu Hiroya naked. I was bamboozled.

6. The Divine Fury

While some parts were interesting, at the end I still don’t know if the protagonist is possessed by a demon (if yes, then why would he help a priest destroy his friends?) or if he was blessed by God when his father died and talked to him (the glowing hand thing, why and how??). The exorcism parts are really, really scary, or maybe I’m just a chicken, but I had to avert my eyes. The best (only) part is that the protagonists are hot. Hello Woo Do-Hwan, you can sacrifice me to Satan any time…

#tokumusume awards #2019 #Parasite #Gintama #The Untamed #The Tale of Nokdu #Yoshizawa Ryo #long post #jdrama #kdrama #jmovie #kmovie #cdrama #cmovie

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iguessihavemore · 5 years ago

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Just a little content in these trying times

It’s just audition tapes. A big chunk of it you guys have actually made yourselves that I just wrote over in hopes of them flowing together a bit more. So yeah, credit to the creators of each character! Hope you find these fun!

The scene is set in a luxurious bedroom decked out in pinks. A brunette sits at a vanity with her back facing the camera, twisting a final lock of hair around a curling iron. When she frees it, it falls just above the collar of her white T-shirt. She twists around and flashes a glossy smile. “Pardon me for not being completely ready.” She began, smoothing out her denim skirt as she got closer to the camera.

“I noticed too late that my hair wasn’t perfect, and I can’t have that.” She bounced one lock near her face. “My name is Amelia Delaney. Daughter of Johnathon Delaney. He’s not well-known outside of our town, but he owned quite the successful department store in our local mall.” Her expression falters into a distant gaze for a brief moment, but she snaps out of it in a second. “I say ‘owned’ as unfortunately, my dear old father was killed in a robbery gone wrong not long-”

A car door slammed in the background, and Amelia’s face changed to hollow shock. “Umm… and his passing left me alone with my elder sister, Melissa, who’s only pleasure in life must come from seeing me miserable.” A second, closer slam could be heard next, and Amelia cringed with a whispered swear. She made a swift move toward the camera. “And that’s why I need the money. I have to get away from her please I’m losing my mind.” She said in one breath before turning off the camera.

*III*

A beep sounded off, assumingly letting the auditioner know the recording began, as the honey-blonde girl was looking away, leaning in what looked to be her closet doorway. Handmade steamers and folded paper animals littered the frame. “Alright, listen ‘ere, ‘n listen close.” She brought a blade up cooly, twirling it by the handle. “I know I ain’t the sharpest knife in the drawer-”

She froze. She let herself chuckle, and rolled her one exposed eye. She cocked her knife to the side. “...but I think it’s better if you pick me. Annabelle Dwight. For your sake.” She faced the camera lens, giving the blade a gentle lick. “It’ll hurt a lot more for you that way. I promise.”

*III*

Two girls sharing a shirt sat on a bed in the center of the video. One of the two flinched in surprise, as if she hadn’t expected the camera to begin recording, despite the fact that they were both staring at it. “Erm…” They glanced at each other. It was clear they were related, identical at that. The girl on the right attempted to perk up, her smile quavering. “Did you know that the average person is more likely to be hit by lightning twice than they are to ever meet a conjoined twin?”

“Not that we’re… uh, threatening anyone. Putting us on the show isn’t going to make anyone get struck by lightning.” The girl on the left tapped her fingers nervously. Her sister couldn’t keep up her facade any longer either, and deflated. The left one, the one with longer hair, spoke up again. “We’re really, really shy. We can barely be around people that aren’t from the orphanage. When we are… we fall into an act we’ve inadvertently made, a ‘creepy, conjoined sisters’ thing. We don’t mean to, but, like, it’d be a lie to say it hasn’t saved us a few times by some people who think they can get one over on us.”

“We’re pretty strong, all things considered, but at the end of the day we’re still a kind of crippled. The world is scary, so when we’re scared, we naturally try to make it think we’re scarier!” The shorter-haired sister said. “But it’s basically impossible to make friends like that, eheh. Not unless we’re in an enclosed space with the same people for a long time… like the orphanage.”

“Or an island!” The left exclaimed. “And with the oddballs that Total Drama attracts, we might even be able to get used to them faster than we ever have before! Erika and I- er, Avery, is my name- are really excited and hopeful for this opportunity-”

“So please, PLEEEASE consider us!! We all know we’d be good for ratings! Even if we don’t make past the first vote, you get views, and we had a chance!”

The sisters ended the video by begging ‘please’ until it cut off.

*III*

“Hi! My name is Cameron, and to prove I’m Total Drama material, I’m gonna summon satan.” A girl with plum purple hair in a bob cold-opened, the shot swinging as she was in the process of moving it where she needed. She placed it on a short patio table, the time being after sunset, the sky dim. A loud chatter shouted off-screen, indiscernible in video, but Cameron straightened so her head was out of the shot and yelled back, “It’s just for business, mom!”

She lowered down with a mischievous smile, ready to do something with the ouija board and candles set up on the ground. The harsh voice started up again, and Cameron groaned in irritation. She left the scene for a few moments, their voices going back and forth. She returned with a defeated sigh. “Okay, fine, I’m just gonna summon a normal, lame ghost I guess.”

She lit the candles and began to seat herself, but before she sat down her mother yelled once again, this time something about fire could be heard. “UGH, MOM!” Cameron shot to her feet. “I do this all the time! Why do you only care when I’m actually trying to show people-!?” She stomped away once more. Once that chatter ended, she came back and instantly plopped down in her spot with a huff. “Alright, okay. Here we go!” She closed her eyes. There was a pause, the lighting of the video going unnaturally dark. Her green, choppy bangs waved in a sudden big breeze. A content smile crossed her face, the film glitching at the edges. It switched to night vision just as a pair of legs clad in mom jeans materialized behind Cameron, hand on hips, and then the video cut out entirely.

*III*

A platinum blonde, choppy-haired boy clapped in the lens of the camera, pulling his hands away to reveal his panicked expression. “Total Drama! I’d be the perfect contestant for your new show! Or season! Whatever!” He awkwardly did half of some kinda hand gesture. “And I could just do something cool right now to convince you, but I’ve been ready for this my whole life. You’re about to see a compilation of me proving myself for years!” He leaned back a little, looking above the camera. “Thanks for making the montage, mom-”

The film abruptly switched to a shot of a flock of birds, pecking away at a green field of grass. A bush behind them rustled, and the blonde burst out. The birds erupted upwards, but after the curtain of wings cleared, the boy was triumphantly holding one in his hands. A swarm of beaks began to descend upon him before the scene changed.

The next clip started in the middle of the boy furiously arguing. The camera wasn’t initially focused on him, but started to come up behind him. “It was NOT a foul!! How would you know, I was on the field- you’re just some dumb referee! He kicked me first-!” After a turn, it was revealed that the person he was arguing about was a toddler, both of them with potato sacks pooled around their feet. It cut off when a woman came up beside the film taker to ask her to calm her son down.

A few more clips later, it returned to him as he was auditioning. “So that’s why you should pick Jackson!” He screeched. He brought his fist into view, clutching a lemon. He squeezed it with a battle cry, and a spray of lemon juice shot out in all directions. “AAUG-!!!”

*III*

A latina girl with long dark hair stands at a countertop, tapping a spoonful of dried jasmine flowers into a cup and pouring a stream of steaming water over them. She stirs it with a spoon before glancing at the camera with her dark eyes.

“Hello, Chris.” She begins, a haughty tone etching her words. “Starting another season, hm? And here I thought you’d run out of ideas. I mean, building an entire island after the last one sunk? I don’t know how you’ll top that.”

The girl leans forward on her elbows, letting go of the spoon. It continued to stir around the cup as if guided by an invisible third hand. “But let me get to the point: you need new contestants to traumatize. And lucky for you, I’m going to step into that role.” She straightened, waving her hand in the air. The spoon stopped as a cupboard opened on its own, a box of cookies tumbling out and floating over to her. She opens the top as it rests itself on the counter, taking out a cookie to dunk in her tea. “Now, I can’t promise that I’ll start fights with the other contestants, but I will… work a little magic.”

She chuckled, nibbling at her snack. “Something to really blow them all away. I’ll see you there.” She waved lightly with her free hand, sending the film off with a snap.

*III*

“Okay… alright.” A pasty young adult said as they fidgeted. Their pink eyes darted nervously behind their glasses, but held a determination to them. “Hey there. You gotta pick me, Jupiter! Know why!?” They jolted about, picking up a med’s kit into the frame. “Who else can patch up a kid’s leg one-two-three STAT! Eh?” They chuckled under their quavering breath, the kit shaking in their hands. “Ehhhh?” They let out an involuntary sigh, dropping the white box.

“A-and between me and you…” Their eyes flicked about with purpose this time. “I need to be the one to get this money. I- I need my mom to think-” They sighed with a pleading laugh. “I just want… okay, okay, listen my bro,” They clasped their vibrating hands together and looked into the lens. “C’mon man, please?”

*III*

A pink-clad teenager sat on her bed in a pastel room, the wall behind her adorned with heart-shaped decorations, pressed flowers, and pictures of the Greek coast. She gave a short wave with her ebony hand. “Hello. My name is Marina. I am fifteen years old. I am applying to be considered as a competitor in the newest season of Total Drama.” She stated one-after-the-other, smiling and getting to the point with each thing she said.

“I am a great team player. I always play fair, no matter who I’m up against. And if I win, I would like to have my Sweet Sixteen in Greece.” She finally let herself get a little off track, her eyes trailing to the side. “I mean… my sister, Stella, would be upset that I didn’t put the money towards our Quinceañera… but I’m sure she’ll understand. Eventually.”

Marina perked up as a door opened off screen. She watches someone get closer to the camera, until another girl’s face is right in front of it, completely blocking the shot of Marina. “Oh, hey Stella. I thought you were outside picking berries?” Her voice said.

“No berries.” The newcomer stated.

“No berries? What about oranges?” Marina suggested.

“Yeah.” The face turned towards her sister.

“Yeah? You want to go pick oranges? We can make orange cake.”

“Yeah!” She moved away, revealing the auditioner once again.

“Okay, let’s go pick some oranges.” Her eyes followed Stella out of her room. She stood up towards the camera, picking it up to her level. “Well, that’s all the time I have. Pick me! Um- please. Thank you.”

*III*

An auditorium is already applauding when the tape begins, a girl in a bright blue hijab coming up to center-stage to take an impressive-looking award.

It cuts to the same girl at a field, standing on her hands and looking forward. Her legs bend backwards but her feet stay placed about her head, with no help beyond her own strength and flexibility. She holds a bow and an arrow with her toes, only showing her strain once or twice, but nowhere near enough to break her steely demeanor while doing such a feat. She pulls back the string with one leg, and releases it. The camera follows the arrow through the air until it sticks its landing just above the bullseye on a target a few yards away.

The scene cuts again to the young woman, now in a completely different outfit and addressing the camera herself. “My name is Nadine, and I’m a winner. As a competitive acrobatic, you know I don’t go for easy wins. Your game show is in a similar boat, but I intend to accomplish it with just as much ease. Observe.” She turns and picks up a new bow ‘n arrow, flicking a lighter and catching the arrow head on fire. She got in the position from earlier, and began to draw back the string. On its way, however, it nicked her head scarf and left a flame- and with the way her eyes widened, she definitely wasn’t oblivious to it.

*III*

“Is this thing even on?” A girl with bright green hair pulled back with a bandana muttered to herself. Her tongue was sticking out as she messed with it, until finally noticing the blinking red light. “Oh! Okay!” She jumped back, revealing that she was standing in a kitchen, dressed in a pink apron. “Hi, I really want to be on Total Drama! I’m really cool and super strong and I bake awesome cookies-”

She reaches for a pan on the counter in front of her bare-handed, and begins to hold up her freshly baked cookies for the camera. Utter pain shoots across her face as she drops the pan, screaming. A bang makes her shout again, pulling up a reddening leg that must have gotten hit by the hot pan.

“OW OW OW!” She chants, hopping around one-footed. “Ugh, I’m so stupid-”

The hopping jostled the camera. The shot suddenly became a blur as it fell to the ground, shattering the lens.

“Oh, dangit!!”

She shuffles towards it on her knees, her chin just cut off. “Uhh… My name is Paulie, by the way-” It cut to black on its own.

*III*

“-But I have my audition tape right here-” The video was trained on a fully clothed boy standing in his room, but the person filming moved the camera around wildly. They briefly settled on a shot of a roll of sticky tape on a desk that the auditioner was gesturing to. “Why are you filming-? To prove that it’s mine-?”

An irritated growl sounded out of frame. “That’s not going to get you into the show, Roger!” There was a quick pan between the boy and a windowpane on the next wall, then back to him. “Show them what you can do or you aren’t going to be picked!”

“What are you talking about!? I want to be on it if YOU want me to be on it, but I already told you I’m not cut out for it! They aren’t going to like me any more than anyone else does!” Roger argued.

A hand materialized from behind the camera and lightly clutched the cloth on his shoulder. “You need to win the MONEY, dunce! They’ll pick you once they see your tricks- now jump out the window!”

The boy gasped in shock, despair filling his eyes. “I can’t believe- you finally want me d- dead…” He whimpered. He tore away and went to pout on his bed. “Leave me alone, then…”

Presumably his sibling yelled in frustration, shaking the camera. “Fine! I’ll just follow you around until you accidentally do something…” They griped before switching off the video.

*III*

Not much can be seen at first except for a silhouette leaning forward, framed by the orange light of a campfire. A flashlight flicks on, and the tall girl in front of it can be seen in full color, plus a few trees of the nighttime forest around her.

“Howdy!” The girl says sweetly and boldly. “The name’s Rosie! I saw your little TV show on forever ago, and I’d like to camp with y’all!”

She gets to her knees and reaches into a backpack mostly offscreen. “I can do all kinds ‘a knots, I can do them backwards, sideways, inside-out, blindfolded-” She twisted the rope around as needed then tossed it aside. “I can hike to the top of a mountain in a day, swim upstream in a thunderstorm, and know every single berry by heart!” She reached into her pockets and pulled out two handfuls of small blue berries.

“Right now, here’s a little test. Which one do you eat?” In a moment, she flung both behind her. “Neither!” She shouted proudly. “If you snacked on a pokeberry OR a nightshade, you’d be dead in a heartbeat!”

She placed a hand on her chest, grinning wide. “I love to camp. ‘Makes me feel alive.”

She glared at the camera without warning. Her eyes darkened. “”Pity some folk don’t properly enjoy it. I suppose I’ll have to weed those out.”

*III*

Bouncing up and down on her bed, a girl with a yellow ribbon in her hair greets the camera with a wide smile. Her yellow wall behind her was decorated in stars and displayed several pictures of macaroni art smothered in glitter. A light shadow near the frame moved away, the person behind it ready to begin. “Okay, it’s rolling now. Say hi, Stella.”

“Hi.” The latina girl ducked down a bit and gave an enthusiastic wave.

“So, Stella, can you tell the camera why you want to compete on Total Drama?”

Rather than answer, she waves again with no change in expression.

“Yes, hello Stella. Do you want to be on Total Drama?”

“Yeah!” She agrees gleefully.

“Why?”

“Yeah!”

The girl taping the audition giggles and tries a different approach. “Okay, if you won the million dollars, what would you do with it?”

Stella moved her eyes away as she pondered it, her grin stretching from ear to ear. “Party.”

“You want to have a party?” The other pressed.

“Quinceañera.” The auditioner specified. She closed her eyes, brought her hands up, and wiggled in her seat like she was dancing to music.

“That sounds like a great idea, Stella. Back to the show, are you a good team player?” The camera-girl asked. Stella agreed. “Yeah? And do you like to make friends?” Stella agreed again. “Okay, say goodbye to the camera.”

“Bye bye!” Stella slid off the bed as she said this, already wanting to see the playback.

*III*

Tony doesn’t GET an audition tape. I hate this man. I’ve been trying to think of an audition for him forever and it just. Ain’t. happening.

#garden #garden cast

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obeyme-blue · 5 years ago

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“Obey Me” Reaction: (pt.2) Lessons 1-7–>2-15

(Keep in mind that everything written is meant to be comedic. I mean none of the characters ill will, nor does anything I say reflect upon the creators or the fans of these characters. That being said, there will be spoilers for the game if you're planning on playing it. Blue is the name of my mc. Thank you, and enjoy!)

- Mammon: *continues to whine about being assigned to “look after” me*

Blue: I don’t like this anymore than you do. So, how about you give me a map or guidebook for this place and I’ll go ahead and find my own way around Devildom. Do we have a deal?

Mammon: Can’t. Lucifer would have my head if you got eaten by a lesser demon...not that I’m afraid of Lucifer or something..

Blue: Damnit.

- Diavolo has a castle all to himself, probably with a great security system, and I’m stuck living with six- erm, seven basket cases?!

- Mammon: “If it ever looks like a demon is about to attack you...run away. Either that or die.”

Blue: Thanks, that info makes me feel soooo much better about living with seven of the most powerful demons in this realm. I’m sure I’ll be perfectly safe here.

- Leviathan isn’t hard to say, it’s just kind of a mouthful. Actually, you all have really mouthy names. Except Satan. Satan is short and sweet.

- Blue: So, all of your brothers just hate your guts, huh Mammon? Guess you must really be something special.

Mammon: Of course I am!

Blue: That wasn’t a compliment.

- DAMNIT MAMMON! Don’t leave me here with a total stranger. What happened to that whole, “Lucifer will have my head if anything happened to you,” bull you pulled earlier?!

- Levi: You really just let him leave you behind like that?

Blue: Excuse me, young man, what the hell was I supposed to do?! Grab onto his ankles and hope to god I’m heavy enough to weigh him down?!

Levi: Wait, your human! That gives me an idea. You’re coming with me!

Blue: Like hell I am!

Levi: *already dragging her towards his room* You don’t have a choice!

- Levi, why is there a bathtub in your room?..is that a pillow and blanket?.... Do you sleep in a bathtub?!?!

- Seeing this petty demon otaku geek out over his favorite series kinda endears you to him. He might not be all that bad after all.

- Levi: *continues to describe each of the main characters of TSL*

Blue: .....this sounds vaguely familiar, somehow.

- Levi: “I may be a recluse like him (Lord of Shadow), but we’re totally different, because he’s got an amazing friend like Henry.”

Blue: *flashbacks to lonely childhood spent idolizing friendships in media* Yeah....I get that.

- This boy named his goldfish after the character he wishes was his friend....I just-...hold on, I gotta check something real quick. *dials D.D.D.* Yes, hi. Is there a way to legally adopt someone as a sibling?

- Levi: “...But if a human made a pact with Mammon...”

Blue: No.

Levi: “...then he’d have to do whatever that human told him to.”

Blue: I know where this is headed, and it is not worth it!

Levi: But, you could get my money back, and you could boss him around!

Blue: Spending more time than I’m already contractually obligated to with that incompetent, self absorbed ass isn’t worth all the power this universe has to offer!

Levi: Do it, or I eat you.

Blue: You drive a hard bargain. Fine.

- So my D.D.D. allows me to spy on other peoples conversations. Isn’t that a violation of some privacy law?

- Solomon: “There’s no need to be suspicious of me.”

Blue: That’s exactly the kind of thing a suspicious person would say!

- Lucifer: “Good morning, Blue.”

Blue: Good morning, warden.

Lucifer: Be careful not to get eaten by a lesser demon. It would mean more paperwork for me, I don’t need that.

Blue: Your concern is touching.

Lucifer: And don’t forget, Solomon is safe to associate with, but he can’t be trusted.

Blue: Way ahead of you. Thanks anyways, dad.

- Of course Mammon’s most prized possession is a credit card. Anything else would require him to actually value something!

- Beel: “Whatever you do, never ask the others about our seventh brother.”

Blue: *urge to do the exact opposite, activated*

- Levi: “Lucifer said the card was frozen right? Which means *opens the freezer and starts rummaging through its contents* it must be hidden in here!”

Blue: Dude, I’m pretty sure he meant “frozen” as in its assets are froz-.

Levi: *pulls out block of ice with the card frozen in it* “Found it!”

Blue:.....he literally froze it.....it was a pun.... *whispers* what the actual f*ck Luci?!

- Mammon: I would never make a pact with you if you offered me all the money in the world!

Levi: OH BIG BROTHER LUCIFER!!!

Mammon: Happy to be be of service ma’am!

Blue: That was shamefully easy...

- Asmodeus: “If you had your choice, which one of us would you forge a pact with, Blue?”

{Game options: Beel, Asmodeus, Satan}

Blue: Lucifer, actually. Sure it’ll probably end up being a spectacular failure, but you know the saying, go big or go home.

Asmodeus: *sweatdrops* That’s frighteningly bold of you.

- Mammon: “...I can’t believe when he (Lucifer) said he froze it, he meant it LITERALLY! Who sticks a credit card in the freezer?!”

Blue: *chokes* We..agree... maybe he’s not as hopeless as I thought...

- I could try telling Mammon that Lucifer is standing right behind him. I could try to be nice and plead on his behalf. Then again, it might be fun to see how this ends.

- Blue: Can ya’ll please stop congratulating me on forming this pact? I didn’t even want to do it in the first place, Levi forced me into it! Then all it took was dangling that flimsy piece of plastic in front of him like a cat toy to get him to agree. There wasn’t some epic battle of wits or require any skill on my part. This wasn’t a victory, it was a cheap blow to my pride! How can you expect me to want credit for such something this underhanded?!

Levi: Geez, just take the compliment.

- Blue: “Stay!”

Mammon: “I-I can’t move!”

Blue: That’s how it works. In that case... SIT BOY!!!

Mammon: WAH?! *suddenly crashes to the floor* YEEEOOOUUUUCH!!!!

Blue: Hehehe, I can get used to this.

- Simeon: *exists*

Blue: Angels truly do walk amongst us.

Luke: *shows up*

Blue: And they come in shota form, too!

- Simeon’s smile cures depression, pass it on!

- Luci: “Blue, look after Mammon, would you?”

Blue: I don’t recall us writing up a custody agreement.

- ???: “El....Elp...Help me.”

Blue: Can’t sleep. Mysterious voice calling out for help. Guess I might as well play horror movie protagonist.

- Lucifer: You are not allowed to go up those stairs. My word is law, you can’t defy me...now then, go on. Back to your room.

Blue: *urge to defy authority, activated*

That’s all for now. Hope y’all enjoyed!

#obey me #reaction #obey me blue #blue reacts

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theravenclawrevolutionary · 5 years ago

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A Good Omens Fanfic I thought of While Serving Mass because I'm ever so holy.

Sorry that the boys are kinda out of character. I had writer's block while writing but oh well. We don't wait for inspiration we fall like Crowley. Original Bible story linked below. Because as the totally good model Catholic child I am I now think of GO every time I go to mass now.

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There were many things that Crowley enjoyed doing with his infinite amount of free time. There were also many things Aziraphale enjoyed doing with his equally infinite amount of free time. At this particular time, neither thing happened to be each other. Instead, it was alcohol. Drinking extraordinary amounts of it.

“Do… Do ya… Ngk. D’you think that you... you’d wanna do this again later this week Angel?” Crowley slurred, smiling messily over his new sunglasses at his drinking partner who had just taken another sip. “Like… like… erm... Friday or somethin’?” Aziraphale set down his glass and pondered the question for a moment before shaking his head furiously.

“No... no I mustn't,” he said nervously. His fingers, Crowley noticed, we’re tracing anxious patterns onto the table. “We… we... really… No. We ought not to. I mean we really shouldn’ even be here now. After all, if my superiors found out we’d met…And I… I got somethin’ important to do any day now. That young man the Almighty sent for the humans, Jesus, I think his name is?” Crowley nodded shortly, took another swig, and motioned for him to continue, wondering what that had to do with anything. “They haven't told me what yet, but I have to do something."

"F*ck," Crowley yelled, slamming his cup down onto the table so hard it spilled. "F*ck, f*ck, sh*t, f*ck, F*CK! I completely forgot… I gotta go. See ya 'round Angel." And with a slam of the door he left the pub.

“Right. Yes. Erm… see you around I guess," Aziraphale said

With a quick miracle Crowley sobered himself up, straightened his glasses, and stormed off. This Jesus bloke was really messing with plans. Why couldn’t they get Beelzebub or some demon that actually cared to tempt him. But no! As the only bloody demon on Earth it had to be him.

“Ello,” Crowley said from where he appeared, mericaling himself already leaning casually against a nearby rock. “It’s been what, forty days? Yeah. Somethin’ like that. You’re that Jesus kid ‘m guessing?” The young man in front of him nodded slowly, and absentmindedly ran his fingers through his long dark hair as if not quite sure how to respond. Crowley took it as an invitation to keep talking. “ “Oh come on! You’re not so holier-than-thou that you’re not going to talk to me are you? I’ve got places to go, demon things to do!” Still Jesus said nothing. “So. You humans have to eat and you’ve been here for... however long I forgot about you. I can turn those rocks into bread for you.”

He snapped his fingers, momentarily transforming the rocks into freshly baked loaves of bread. With a grin he snapped again, changing them back to the rocks they'd been before. With that he paused and looked at the young man across from him. "Well I suppose you COULD do that yourself, couldn't you. Being the son of the Almighty and all that. That IS something you can do right? Make these stones bread, or whatever it is humans eat these days. Personally, I don't eat. Don't really see the appeal. But Azira- er... my ah... friend does." For the first time since Crowley had arrived, his companion spoke.

"'It is written that one does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' I will not eat your devil food, foul creature." Crowley glared at the young man. He was used to being called many things like The Serpent of Eden which he took as a complement, even if it was only the truth. However, foul creature seemed a bit much, not that it wasn't true either. At least by Jesus' standards.

"What the f*ck was that for? Name calling isn't all that holy of you. And I haven't even started... oh. You thought that was me trying to tempt you? Please. I have much f*ckin' higher standards than that. Just you wait." Jesus looked at him passively. There was almost no emotion on his face. This offended Crowley, who had wanted to be at least a little impressive. Not, he told himself, that it really mattered. "Anyway," he said, trying to keep his tone light and conversational. "How 'bout a little change of scenery?" With another unnecessary snap of his fingers he brought them to the top of Jerusalem's temple.

"What are you doing now," Jesus asked, curious against his better judgement.

"Changing the scenery," Crowley responded dryly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "What did I just say? And don't worry. No one can see us. At least not really. Consider that a little demonic blessing if you will."

"I don't want it," Jesus said. "I appreciate your concern, but take it off please." Crowley ignored him.

"On a completely unrelated note I think you should jump. Not that I really want you to die or anything. But it would really help me make sure I've got the right 'Son of God' or whatever. I know it says somewhere in that bible Azir- er my friend from before reads, that if you do that then angels are going to catch you or something. Something about not letting your foot dash against a rock or something."

“Again it is written, 'You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test'. You will never win Raphael Once Angel of the Lord.”

"Huh," Crowley said, grimacing for a millisecond before covering it with a half smirk. "That... that's a name I haven't heard in millennia. But the thing is I can't very well put the 'Lord my God' to the test if I'm fallen. I don't really have much of a god anymore." Jesus pursed his lips and crossed his arms but said nothing. Clearly Crowley had a point, even if he didn't want to admit it.For the third and final time that day Crowley snapped his fingers and brought the two of them back to the desert they originally started in. "Right. Well this is the tempting bit I'm supposed to do. Legally required and all that sh*t."

"Must you use such crude language demon?"

"Yes. Sh*t, F*ck, d*mn, and all that. Plus I have a name. Not one that I'm telling you, but I have one. Now shut up and let me do my thing." Jesus sighed but let him continue. "So if you'd look over there you'll see all the kingdoms in the whole bloody world. I'm supposed to tell you that we'll give you all of them, if you just worship Satan. That's all there is to it. And it's really not so bad. Not IF you get used to it." It was a desperate but required attempt. Crowley didn't really care whether Jesus said yes or no. If he said yes, he'd get a huge commendation. If he said no they'd blame it on the fact that he was the son of the Almighty.

“Get away, demon! It is written: The Lord, your God, shall you worship and him alone shall you serve.”

"Yeah. Thought that was gonna happen. Coulda gone worse. See ya 'round kid. And just a warning. Things are gonna get a LOT worse after this. Just don't blame me for it. Pretty sure an angel's supposed to show up around here some time in the near future." With a final grin flashed in Jesus' direction and a wave of his hand for dramatic effect Crowley turned into his snake form and slithered away. One hour and several minutes later a slightly flustered angel who had been on earth for quite some time arrived.

"Oh dear... I'm ever so sorry. I... I had something I had to finish doing. Did I... did I keep you waiting long Lord?" Jesus smiled kindly down at Aziraphale.

"No Principality Aziraphale. Not long. Come, sit. Let us eat." Beaming, Aziraphale sat beside the savior of the world, who made a mental note about that 'something' the angel had mentioned. Jesus, son of the Almighty and savior of the Earth, would have bet everything then and there that Aziraphale's 'something' he'd been doing was the demon that had left.

--------------------------------------------------

#good omens #fanfic #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #kinda ooc #maybe ooc #idk what this is #trash fic

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magaprima · 5 years ago

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Part 3 Episode 6

“We do not need to fight each other. That is what men do. But we are women. Witch women. We can do more than fight” Mambo Marie talking sense in the room and Zelda already liking what she sees

Dr C and Hilda having a cute movie night, being adorable. I feel bad about this because I feel goodness will not last

Gryla asking for Gin, because Gryla is Gryla

Poor Lilith is fucking terrified, sending people to see if there’s any sign of the Dark Lord. The woman risked everything in siding with Sabrina, she risking everything in grabbing the Dark Lord to stop him hurting her, and now she’s been left by Sabrina to suffer those potential consequences alone

NO THE DARK LORD SENT HER THE FETISH DOLL ADAM GAVE HER. THAT ILL BEGOTTEN WHORE SON OF A LEPER’S DONKEY. HOW FUCKING DARE HE??? SHE’S SO FUCKING HORRIFIED AND UPSET.

and when she says ‘given to me by adam’ her servant replies ‘in the garden’ and the way she says ‘not. that. adam’ you can see she thinks adam 2.0 shouldn’t even be in the same sentence as the bastard from the Garden.

‘Mary Wardwell’s Adam. I was actually quite fond of him’ you loved him, Lilith. You said that when you were alone. You loved him, “And Lucifer slaughtered him as proof he would never show me mercy’

‘this gift is a not so subtle way to tell me he’s on his way to seek his revenge for my ursurping him and imprisoning him’ she is crying with pain and fear and i want to hug her

‘pack my belongings. I must leave hell at once and seek safe haven elsewhere’ because Lilith knows, unlike Sabrina, that it’s only a matter of time before he frees himself completely. LILITH DOES NOT DESERVE THIS SHIT

WAIT THEY NEED A VIRGIN SACRIFICE TO RESURRECT THE GREEN MAN, THE ONLY VIRGIN NOT PROTECTED IS MARY?????? SAVE MARY NOW SAVE HERRRRRRRRR

Hilda signing Sweeney Todd with Dr C???? This is too cute...until she became more and more spiderlike. Oops

Caliban is suggesting he and Sabrina get married and rule together. Okay......

AH THE PICS WE SAW WHERE WE WERE LIKE SHE’S DRESSED LIKE MARY BUT HER EXPRESSION ARE LILITH.....it’s Lilith in disguise hiding from Lucifer? This makes sense now haha

ZELDA AND LILITH SCENE

‘lucifer walks free. don’t you think he’ll take vengeance upon us? the dark lord is not known to forgive and forget. I’ve already received a threat. I need aslyum’

Zelda not giving a shit? Rude.

But Lilith offering to help with the Pagans makes sense except Zelda dismisses her as ‘the ultimate wild card’. which is erm...true. But she does follow through, Zelda

‘but you must give me sanctuary. you worship me’ Lilith looks so confused and broken by this

and zelda replies ‘and what good has that done us?’ erm...what good did worshipping the dark lord do you? Sabrina nearly ended up a fucking child bride and without Lilith’s help you would have all been enslaved in a bloody apocalypse. But no, of course, writers have the women hate each other, it’s fine. I’ll just fix it in RP

‘you. you’re pathetic lot. Hanging your onions to keep the dark lord at bay’. Lilith lashing out like she always does when she’s hurt. PEOPLE STOP HURTING HER AND ACTUALLY GIVE HER THE TIME OF DAY.

‘what i need is a good christian woman’ LILITH ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING MARY FOR HELP?????????

Dr C refusing to allow Hilda to be taken by a curse. He’s so sweet and lovely. ‘we’re gonna have a long, long life you and me’ is the phrase that usually means someone will die

A lot of sexual energy between Zelda and Marie

Hilda-Spider just killed and ate someone in the shop. Expected

omg the spell to save Roz means Harvey has to kiss her awake but must never kiss her again. Love is the sacrifice for life. Wait, so Sabrina and Nick are split, Harvey and Roz forcibly split...so are we going Habrina again? Oh apparently Roz isn’t his true heart’s desire, which seems to imply Sabrina is

Mary is praying at her fire, bless her, when LILITH knocks on her door PRETENDING TO BE ADAM? LILITH IS GLAMOURED AS FUCKING ADAM??????

‘Only your goodness can protect me from what’s coming’. Oh Lilith

and then we see Lilith as Lilith, and it’s Michelle hugging herself and this shot is so weird

Dr C coming back to nothing but webs and Hilda is a full on spider and I think she’s going kill him. ‘i have all these eggs inside me waiting to be fertilised’. Ew. On so many levels. This is like the praying mantis episode

NO LUCIFER IS KNOCKING ON MARY’S DOOR WITH BLACKWOOD DRESSED AS A PRIEST

AND MARY BELIEVED HIM AND GAVE LILITH UP. AND THEN LILITH SHOOK OFF HER ADAM GLAMOUR AND MARY JUST HAD TO FREAKING LOOK AT LILITH WEARING HER FACE

although lilith does say ‘i’d run if i were you’ so she lets mary get away, but my god Satan has Lilith by the hair. THIS ISN’T FUCKING FAIR

what the fuck is the ritual of separation???? and why does lucifer want to do it to lilith?????? wait.....IS HE GOING TO PUT LILITH IN BLACKWOOD???

I have to say the entire way this is filmed they are definitely showing lilith as the victim of an abusive relationship still, so at least they haven’t backstepped that and made Lilith blameful

omg hilda killed Dr C

Theo and Harvey helping the witches with their mortal weapons is kinda badass

hilda asking zelda to shoot her and zelda being like not a fucking chance and then realises it is the only way, and does it. But I presume we’re going to the cain pit

Lilith being forced to bathe Lucifer for the ritual and OMG SHE’S LULLING HIM TO SLEEP. her singing is enchanted because a few humans and he’s out. OMG SHE SNAPPED HER FINGERS AND WHEN HE WOKE UP ONLY FAUSTUS WOKE AND HE IS CALLING HER DEMONESS AGAIN????

LILITH IS SO BADASS SHE PUT LUCIFER TO SLEEP WITH NO EFFORT AT ALL. LILITH SHOULD BE ALLOWED MORE POWERFUL MOMENTS. LET HER JUST FUCKING RULE ALREADY

Lilith is making a deal with Blackwood to ensure they both stay alive after the Dark Lord is separated ‘otherwise it will be a horrific death for the two of us’. And the act is...you guessed it, they’re gonna sleep together. well have a business fuck really.

Mary ran to the Spellmans and has just seen Zelda burying Hilda. Oops

AND NOW MARY IS GOING TO KILL THE SPELLMANS WITH A FUCKING GUN??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MARY’S CHARACTER????

MARY SHOT ZELDA AND ZELDA TOOK A DRAG OF HER CIG BEFORE DYING. GET HER IN THE FUCKING CAIN PIT

#caos spoilers

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flowrxchild · 5 years ago

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🌼Get To Know Me Tag🌼

Thanks @satans-helper for tagging me!!! This is gonna be a long one so if anyone feels it’s necessary, please tell me to shut up! oke doke les do it❤️

1. What’s your middle name?

Olivia!

2. How old are you?

20, very cool and very funky years..

3. When’s your birthday?

January 8th

4. What’s your zodiac sign?

Capricorn 🐏 also an Aries rising, Libra moon if anyone cares lol

5. What’s your favourite colour?

Rn it’s yellow!

6. What’s your lucky number?

Ok I rlly gotta pick one soon cuz I just don’t have one lol

7. Do you have any pets?

Used to have a chubby brown lab but she was an old girl:( BUT recently I have fed a stray cat enough for him to come back everyday so he is now mine by Ricky Law™️

8. Where are you from?

Toronto, Canada baybee

9. How tall are you?

5’5

10. What shoe size are you?

7 and a half? I think?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Not that many like 5 tops lol

12. What was your last dream about?

Last night I dreamt about going horse back riding?? I woke up like ...she’s a horse girl, I knew it..

13. What talents do you have?

I can draw/paint?? Also I’m a pretty snazzy photographer

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I’m definitely intuitive...I’ve experienced some very strange coincidences in my life...

15. Favourite song?

Jimi Hendrix’ Voodoo Chile

16. Favourite Movie?

Moonrise Kingdom

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

*stares in Josh Kiszka yearn*

18. Do you want children?

Erm not sure yet

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Lol I want whatever the opposite of a church wedding is..

20. Are you religious?

Nope.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes. I’m so clumsy I am a danger to myself at this point...

22. Have you ever gotten in trouble with the law?

No I’m literally a baby chicken and will cry if u raise ur voice at me

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Not formally? I’ve seen a lot of random celebrities just walking around tho cuz I live in a big city

24. Baths or showers?

Showers, practically but I love me a good bath now and again

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Im not wearing any ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ;-) Sam Kiszka tease ;-) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

26. Have you ever been famous?

One time my painting was put into a community art gallery and they took my photo for the local newspaper except they made the centre fold of the page fold into the picture around my face so it got all distorted and it was like when Mike Wazowski was in the Monsters Inc commercial...

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Not rlly..

28. What type of music do you like?

Rock, folk and indie but I will listen to anything

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yes. Me and my friends do it every year as a cottage tradition!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

3...I need to be snuggled AND supported

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I don’t sleep unless I curl up into the smallest ball possible like a friggin cat

32. How big is your house?

She smol

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Literally just coffee most days. I love anarchy

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope. Don’t have the desire to either.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

I have not but I’ve always wanted to!

36. Favourite clean word?

Cozzy

37. Favourite swear word?

Cunty but like as an adjective

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Not rlly sure...probably only a day. I’m a very sleepy person

39. Do you have any scars?

Yep

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

If I told you, they wouldn’t be secret ;-)

41. Are you a good liar?

No not at all. My face gives it away so badly

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I like to think so. My first impressions of people tend to be true.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Ya but not well ahsgag

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I don’t think I do, but my family from the states always says we have the stereotypical “Canadian accent”.

45. What is your favourite accent?

I loooove Irish accents. I find them very pleasing to hear!

46. What’s your personality type?

INFP-T to be precise

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

My prom dress I think? I got it a Free People for 90$ and at that store, that’s a steal...

48. Can your curl your tongue?

Yeth

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

If this is referring to my belly button then, innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Ew ya

52. Favourite food?

Ok my fave food is also my fave foreign food and it’s Indian!

53. Favourite foreign food?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

messy...ITS CAREFUL CHAOS OK?

55. Most used phrase?

I really am not sure...

56. Most used word?

probably ‘like’. Yes I’m gen Z, yes I have trouble articulating my thoughts. And what about it???

57. How long does it take you to get ready?

I need at least an hour...I like to plan

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think so??

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

If you bite lollipops, you’re in jail now, I don’t make the law.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, I’m the funniest person I know.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Yes, funny you ask, I’m not only the funniest person I know, but also North America’s greatest entertainer!

62. Are you a good singer?

No! But I will preform for myself and the spiders living in my room. Yes, we exist!

63. Biggest fear?

Losing the people I love, being trapped.

64. Are you a gossip?

No yuck i hate it.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

this is too broad and difficult but The Witch. It’s spooky and dramatic.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I don’t rlly have a preference...

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Probably if I try really really hard lol as a Canadian, this is a good road trip game

68. Favourite school subject?

Art or English!

69. Extrovert or introvert?

Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No but something about makes me anxious

71. What makes you nervous?

I would really love to find something that doesn’t make me anxious. Let’s start with that.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

No! I find it comforting sometimes actually

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Depends. I hate confrontation so I only do it if it really matters...

74. Are you ticklish?

Ok I wanna know who isn’t! Like whomst is not ticklish??

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

I hope not...I would feel very stinky

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

If by authority you mean telling my sister to get out of my unassigned-assigned spot on the couch even though my voice cracks a little as I do it causing her to laugh even harder, than yes.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes. *police sirens grow closer*

78. Have you ever done drugs?

I have done a weed or 2. Yes

79. Who was your first real crush?

My neighbour lol

80. How many piercings do you have?

3! My ears and also my cartilage! Used to have my septum, but it caused me too many problems so i let it grow over :(

81. Can you roll your R’s?

Ya!

82. How fast can you type?

So fast *spongebob voice* wanna see me do it again?

83. How fast can you run?

I would probably be the first to go in a horror movie

84. What colour is your hair?

Dark brown

85. What colour are your eyes?

Brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Nothing substantial.

87. Do you keep a journal?

Ya I do!

88. What do your parents do?

My mums a school secretary and my dads a fraud investigator

89. Do you like your age?

U know what, ya..I can’t complain.

90. What makes you angry?

Injustice and rudeness

91. Do you like your own name?

Ya I don’t mind it

92. Have you already thought of baby names if so what are they?

I mean I have names that I like but it’s not something I write down so I always forgot lol

93. Do you want a boy or a girl child?

I really couldn’t care less

94. What are your strengths?

Physically, I’m a sack of bones with the upper body strength of a new born baby but I like to think my sense of humour makes me tolerable *finger guns*

95. What are your weaknesses?

I am one frightened human bean.

96. How did you get your name?

Tru story: throughout my moms whole pregnancy, everyone including the doctors were convinced I was gonna be a boy because they could never get a clear look at me in the ultra sounds so my parents had only picked out boy names until I was born to which they changed their choice of “Eric” to Erika :))

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not at all lol

98. Do you have any scars?

Did I already answer this one? I think I did?

99. Colour of your bedspread?

White with pink floral pattern! (From ikea lol)

100. Colour of your room?

It’s an off-white

Ok I wanna tag these lovely beans @pe2chie @turntonightfirelight @camomillacatalina @witchgoddess @blackdressedtinyone 💗💗💗

#tag game #get to know me tag #ty!!

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diloph · 5 years ago

Note

Pardon me, but it seemed from some of your posts on KOTM that you didn't like Mark Russell that much. I know he was a cliche everyman type, but what exactly made him any worse than others in these movies?

I apologise if this isn’t my most coherent answer. I’m a little bit stressed at the moment, trying to finish the next chapter of IIID and create relevant, if poorly assembled memes before the Invader Zim movie is released.

To be honest, some of it is a bit tongue-in cheek. Making fun of the most visible character in the film, considering that he hates Godzilla with a burning passion, is just a little bit of fun. It’s like how I refer to Rick Stanton with disdain sheerly because he’s somewhat based on Rick Sanchez, who I don’t dislike either.

The film isn’t about Mark: King of the Fathers anyway, so if I completely despised him, I could just zone out during his scenes, or skip them when the DVD comes out.

But… some of it wasn’t so jokey. He’s still an okayish protagonist, I’ve got nothing against the actor himself and his acting is fine. Still, Mark was loud, abrasive and hated Godzilla; you know, things that grate on my nerves when it comes to a 2+ hour Godzilla movie and that made the character… trying.

We’ve had them before, but Godzilla was generally more villainous and obviously, we feel sympathy and camaraderie with him as the title character and we are here to see him do cool things. Having a human protagonist who hates our cool monster protagonist makes sense in universe, but ultimately, it’s not what we’re here for. We can tune that out.

As for what makes me dislike Mark… for starters, he’s kind of a prick. I once saw somebody describe him as the type of guy who thinks that if he speaks loudly enough, shouts enough, he’ll get his way. I can’t say I blame them, in that first meeting with MONARCH, he’s downright hostile.

He’s also, for whatever reason, the guy that everybody turns to in the crisis. He might have a background in bioacoustics like his ex-wife and animal behaviour besides, but apparently nobody else at MONARCH is capable of doing things without the express instructions or approval of everyman Indiana Jones. Military procedures, common sense, the desperate plan to revive Godzilla; everybody seems to defer to him really quickly.

It took me out of the movie. I understand that he’s meant to be our relatable protagonist, but it’s a little bit jarring and it happens multiple times. Mark is either issuing instructions or is along where he shouldn’t be, given control of a situation where by all rights he shouldn’t have any other than spur of the moment hero stuff.

It’s like he believes that nobody has any common sense and frustratingly, a couple of times the narrative agrees with him or at least proves his actions right. For example, when Colonel Foster tries to brief MONARCH on the actions of Jonah and the terrorists, he shoots down her theory and proceeds to go on a rant as to why we should Destroy All Monsters.

He’s right, as Jonah wants to free King Ghidorah, but he has this frustrating “protagonist only” habit of noticing threads that other characters really should (nobody seems to notice that the Titans are attacking capital cities or at least very densely populated areas until he points it out), then speaks about it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Which when MONARCH is meant to be staffed with scientists of multiple disciplines veers back into the incredulous. I can suspend disbelief when it comes to giant monsters, I don’t excuse people not seeing what’s in front of them.

And as for the moments where he really shouldn’t be issuing instructions, take a look at when Rodan is freed by Emma Russell. Serizawa instantly defers to him (I think that Mark might have been his senior before he left MONARCH and BOY do I want to talk about that plan later on) to cook up a plan instead of… himself (Director of MONARCH, or at least I assume so) or again, Foster, who controls the planes and men he wants to send at the giant pterodactyl that just shrugged off a molten lava flow.

Given his characterisation as an angry, driven father who is desperately looking out for his family after being bereaved by monsters and is butting heads with the scientists at MONARCH, I think it was an attempt by Legendary to recreate Joe Brody. Bryan Cranston’s character in the previous film was killed off too early and was featured in a lot of the trailers, giving a wonderful performance. When he died to be replaced by his son, Ford, it caused a backlash as a result.

Mark being that angry, snarky character definitely shares some similarities. But while Joe was a crusader for the truth and more than a little bit obsessive, he was trying to pierce the veil as to why his wife died, without realising that it drove his son away from him. He was trying to reveal this great coverup to the world and spent the rest of his life doing so with such conviction that he appeared crazy.

Mark… doesn’t have this driving force. He lives in a post-San Francisco universe. Monsters Exist and everybody knows it.

Now, that’s not to say he doesn’t have reasons for acting as he did. He lost his son and has driven a wedge in between his family via his drinking problem (but let’s face it, compared to unleashing the Titans by starting off with Space Dragon Satan, he’s taken it comparatively well) but he acts as if he’s the only person who has ever lost something to Godzilla and the rest of the monsters.

Even when that happens to characters in the film, Mark still acts like that and it doesn’t make him look like the grim, determined hero, it just makes him look like an obnoxious dick. It isn’t his way of coping with the trauma of loss, he just… does it.

Part of me does get why he’s annoyed and angry with MONARCH’s attitude towards the Titans. He’s correct that they’ve been keeping secrets, dangerous ones at that, but equally the kaiju are living things. They’re dangerous and unpredictable, yes, but MONARCH have been taking precautions; killswitches are present in even the supposedly benevolent Titan’s chambers like Mothra and as far as they know, all of the Titans bar Godzilla are dormant and those that aren’t are kept in check by him. Had the Ghidorah Crisis never arose, we may never have seen any other Titans for the rest of human history.

But he treats everybody around him like an idiot with little to no prompting. Mark is brought on as a consultant and he then proceeds to dominate the scene, either through his decisions in universe or the part written for him out of it. He gets the last word, the last say on a plan or a witty remark or whatever.

And some of that costs lives. Actually, no, a LOT of it costs lives.

So, to start off, when the operation in Antarctica goes tits up, Mark grabs a handgun and goes into Outpost 32 by himself (though what he and the central nervous system of MONARCH were doing on the ground and not supervising from the Argo remains to be seen, but I digress). He stops Jonah and the terrorists on the walkway… screwing up Foster’s attempt to take down Jonah, forcing her to snipe his henchman in order to save Mark’s life.

This leads to King Ghidorah waking up. Not going to extend him a great deal of blame for this one, as with a sniper present, Emma or Madison would have been forced (or “forced” in the former’s case) to retrieve the detonator and the Six-Eyed, Six-Horned, Flying-Golden-People-Eater would have gotten loose regardless. Hell, I spotted clues that he was gearing up to wake up without Emma Russell’s help.

In a narrative sense, its his character that also sets up Vivienne Graham’s death. If he hadn’t been stuck in the tangle of wires and metal aboard the Osprey, she would never have needed to stay behind to help and subsequently got singled out by King Ghidorah.

I’d definitely agree that this is more of a personal thing on my part, as I’d wanted to see more of Vivienne’s character thanks to her actress’, Sally Hawkins’ work in The Shape Of Water and that in the previous film. But in a way, he is still sort of responsible for her being written out and replaced with the vastly less interesting replacement characters of Rick and Mor- erm, Sam.

That said, I know that Ghidorah is 100% to blame in universe. He killed her because he was a bastard and I wanted to him to be a bastard, so the monkey’s paw curled a finger there, so that’s egg on my face. It certainly did wonders for establishing him as a monstrous villain who we love to hate.

I’m not wholly unsympathetic to Mark. Like I said before, the pain of loss over the 2014 attacks hurt him badly and the film doesn’t shy away from this. Mark’s descent into alcoholism is noted by both himself and his family as a rough time for all involved, part of the reason he left MONARCH in the first place. Having his daughter and ex-wife seemingly kidnapped by dangerous ecoterrorists who plan to unleash giant monsters to mass-cull humanity also wears his patience thin, as you might expect it.

But he keeps this… horrible attitude throughout the movie. The world is literally going to shit, another monster is about to be unleashed and he asks if MONARCH have had enough common sense to evacuate the town of Isla Del Mara and if Rodan has had a cutesy name all picked out from mythology for him ahead of time.

Fuck me, if I was Serizawa, having just lost my protégé and quite a few well-meaning soldiers who were trying to rescue somebody who turned out to be a massive ecoterrorist nutjob, I would have floored him. There is a time and a place for snarky comments and it is not after at least twenty people you worked with are dead and BILLIONS MORE MAY FOLLOW.

But now, one of the points that really got me disliking Mark Russell follows here. The scenes that start at Isla Del Mara and the luring of Rodan to King Ghidorah, all the way up until the detonation of the Oxygen Destroyer.

Rodan emerges from the volcano and asides from spreading his wings and roaring, doesn’t do much. He spots the incoming Argo and its entourage and narrows his eyes. Uh oh! Surely, at this point, the dastardly destruction god would leap from his perch in an attempt to chase this challenger from his territory?

Um… no. No, actually, he stays put.

Now, I get that Rodan might not have stayed that way for very long. From the ensuing chase scene, I can gather that the Monsterverse’s version of Rodan is a bit of a dick, but he still didn’t start the fight.

Instead, what happens is that Serizawa asks Mark what they should do and Mark comes up with the plan to get Rodan to fight King Ghidorah in the hopes that one will kill the other and that would at least solve one of their problems.

Sound in theory, yes, but it is not sound in execution. At all.

So, that little town that Mark kicked up quite a fuss about? As you might have noticed, it’s lying between Rodan and the Argo and is part of the reason that the big ol’ bird should be lured away, to complete the evacuation.

Mark’s brilliant plan has the jets surrounding the Argo to blast Rodan and 180 the superplane in order to get him to chase… without factoring in THE TOWN BETWEEN THEM AT ALL.

I get King Ghidorah was closing in. I get that Rodan is a wild, unpredictable animal who could go off the chain at any moment. But there was absolutely no time to get the ARGO to move a little ways around the island before beginning the attack? At worst, Rodan would make a dive for them anyway, but that’s what the jets are sent in to distract him are for. To grab his attention and then lure him to the Argo, which would then take him to Tricephalopathic Terror Town anyway.

As a result, Rodan utterly OBLITERATES Isla Del Mara simply by passing over it and so many of the people they were trying to evacuate die a horribly pointless death. It never once passes his mind (or let’s not beat him down solely) or that of anybody aboard the Argo that a creature with wings that size that can fly would generate an unbelievable amount of force simply by flapping once to create lift? He’s also dripping lava, so even if the hurricane level winds that follow him weren’t an issue, having something with that amount of residual molten rock passing overhead doesn’t seem like a healthy thing to expose Isla Del Mara to.

Further dislike ensues when one of the miraculously surviving Ospreys issues a mayday during the Rodan/Ghidorah fight and the cargo doors are jammed. Mark the Hero leaps up with gritted teeth and desire to get things done, asking the way to the hangar. After all, he’s had miraculous problem solving abilities so far, why not?

“Which way to the hangar?” he asks.

Sam, a character who I’m even less fond of, stands up and offers to show him the way. Fairly brave, considering that the Argo is rattling like a leaf in a thunderstorm as two daikaiju battle nearby. I found the character annoying and sort of… pointless, but I admire that bit of bravery.

“Anybody else?” Mark asks, making a face.

Dude. The man just offered to help you and people need that help. Get off your high horse, swallow your pride and just go without comment. God knows how many people your stupid plan just got killed.

The two run to the hangar and a crewman explains the door is jammed. Mark decides to drop a hanging Osprey onto the doors to get them off… without suggesting it to the crewman. He just fucking goes for the buttons, expecting his usual “my plan will work” attitude to succeed.

At last, one of Mark’s harebrained schemes is met with reasonable resistance for the first time and the crewman attempts to wrestle him off, before Mark Is Proven Right Again. But even suggesting it, getting a refusal and then doing it is more heroic than just going for the damn buttons like a lunatic.

He would have looked damn stupid if the weight of the Osprey wasn’t enough to open the doors and it instead just blocked them. The falling aircraft also almost hits the airborne one with its civilian payload as it also wasn’t warned, so again, he took an unnecessary risk that came off lucky because he couldn’t find the time to say “I have an idea”.

To round out the trifecta of what makes me dislike Mark in these scenes is what happens when the rest of the scene plays out:

Gravity Beams spew from Ghidorah’s mouth and blast Rodan into the ocean, defeated. Not satisfied with just this victory, the Golden Demise locks his terrible gaze on the Argo and with a sickening, gleeful cackle, closes in on the plane and its freshly arrived civilians.

All are stunned into a horrified silence. Even Mark, who has been having Unreasonable Protagonist Luck up until this point, bricks it.

“Oh, God.” he pleads.

God answers and he erupts from the ocean.

With a deafening roar, the mighty form of Godzilla slams into King Ghidorah with the force of a collapsing mountain. His dynamic, mid-air leap is enough to drag the foul hydra into the depths of the ocean and Godzilla proceeds to hold him there.

Ghidorah attempts to resurface and fly away, or at least lash out at the Argo in spite, but there Godzilla is again, yanking the head back underwater, biting and rolling like some mountainous crocodile, pinning the alien dragon under his weight.

Unbeknownst to our hero (Godzilla, obviously), the military has deployed the terrible Oxygen Destroyer in an attempt to Destroy All Monsters, giving only a cursory warning to the Argo to get out of there and fast. Mark makes his way onto the bridge and is informed of the decision.

“But he… he just saved us!” says Mark.

No, wait, he didn’t say that. Hold on…

“They… they didn’t even let us get clear?” says Mark.

Uh, no, sorry, trying again.

“Well, it’s not the worst idea.” he says.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK. YOU.

I get that you’re mad with Godzilla. I get that as the title character with a long history, we root for the kaiju more than anybody else. I get that he took your son from you, but twice… TWICE NOW, he has saved you and the people around you with PERFECTLY TIMED ENTRANCES. Even if it was just a coincidence, I’d be at least slightly more forgiving of the lion that killed my brother by accident if it jumped in front of a tiger that was slaughtering people left and right before it leapt at me.

Twice.

There’s not even a hesitant “oh, but he did help us”. Not even a shocked disbelief that the military has a weapon that they think will kill not just one, but two (because I’m willing to bet he thought Rodan was dead) Titans, much less them firing it without warning right on top of their position. Just a “well, fuck ‘em” shrug.

Godzilla nearly dies, Ghidorah seizes control of the Titans and sets about starting the apocalypse. Finally, Serizawa says what I’ve been thinking for quite a while and says “Well, it looks like you got your wish, Mark.” with a mixture of anger, sadness and disgust.

I could go on; the Titans are rampaging and Mark goes to leave Castle Bravo to strike out on his own and rescue Madison, despite the fact that he knows that Emma will probably try to keep her safe in whatever secure hidey hole she and the Kaiju Cultists have holed up in. In the novel, he’s outright going to steal one (also his first instinct when confronted by an alpha wolf in the novel, is to blow it away with a sidearm, before realising that’s absolutely callous and horrible and tries submissive behaviour tactics instead. So hey, Movie Mark is a slightly better person than Book Mark).

Mark suggests the nuke plan and goes down with Serizawa, Chen and Rick Sanch- Stanton. Everything goes sideways and he doesn’t even fucking blink when Serizawa decides that somebody’s gotta do it manually.

Back aboard the Argo? How does he break the news to Sam, the only member of the MONARCH team that wasn’t there? Shoving Serizawa’s notebook into his chest, saying that they better not screw this up and not even fucking pausing to tell him what happened.

Mark’s self-centred attitude keeps coming back and it gets people killed. My second time viewing this film, during the two confrontation scenes with Godzilla, I wasn’t getting the “There is a massive threat in my territory!” vibe from the King of the Monsters, I was getting a “Who the hell is this asshole and why does he hate me so much?” feeling from Our Glorious Boy.

It’s a recurring theme too. Mark experiences loss, but he feels as if his loss is the only one that matters. Both he and Emma do this to Madison and it makes me mad that in trying to cope with their own loss, they shunned the one remaining child they had left. By the time they realise that, the world is literally about to end and they’re still bickering at one another.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m very vocally critical of Mark and Emma’s treatment of Madison. Both she and Mark decide to put their own ways of coping with their son’s death (constructing a device to allow for the orchestration of mass human death and convincing oneself that it’s the correct course of action/drinking booze) above Madison’s own well being.

When the chips are down, of course, they care for her and ultimately risk their lives to save her, but… congratulations for the bare minimum parenting, guys? Physically, they want her out of harm, but mentally she should either fall into line with Emma’s thinking or be there for Mark.

Godzilla and Mothra feel more like her bloody parents in this film (Godzilla saving her life when she was facing down the literal fucking devil and Mothra’s gentle interaction at the temple and reviving her from death when she appeared to have died in the novel) than the other Russells do. Both fill the archetypes of “Father” (tough, stern, but ultimately your protector) and “Mother” (gentle, nurturing and wonderful) better than the people do.

…yeah, alright, that one is a stretch, but I had that idea a while ago and I wanted to put it to paper.

In short, I’m mad at Sad Mad Dad because his character shoves the waaaaaaaay more interesting, compelling and sympathetic characters of Serizawa, Graham and his own daughter (and the actual goddamned non-monster hero of the movie), Madison out of the way of main character-ness, just so we can have somebody who is about as pleasant to interact with as a cactus.

King of the Monsters is a film that has a lot of sacrifice in it, good and bad. Emma wants to sacrifice most of humanity to save the planet. Serizawa sacrifices himself to save Godzilla and thus, the planet. Mothra sacrifices her own life to save Godzilla from King Ghidorah and so does Emma, to save her family and as redemption for her sins.

Even Madison was also ready to at least risk her own life to distract the Titans and King Ghidorah if it would even slightly disrupt his efforts to conquer the planet. She goes against terrorists, her own mother and a demonic, nigh-omnipotent being of malicious intent and faces him down with a defiant roar of her own when it looks like the end.

But Mark doesn’t sacrifice. He wants his daughter back, but he never takes a hit. Other people die for him, as a result of him and he doesn’t even recognise it. The world is at stake and he keeps his focus on his own desires, ignorant to the people around him because only his loss matters.

He might not be the genocidal monster in the film that Emma was, that Jonah and of course, Ghidorah certainly were. But he has a very narrow and dispassionate world-view and outside of certain cartoons with comedic circumstances, I don’t care much for that at all.

TL;DR: Madison should have been the central protagonist, because I like her more.

#Godzilla #Godzilla: King of the Monsters #Mark Russell

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psyched2b · 6 years ago

Note

✏5, 6 and 17 with Bucky boy or Loki please

Disclaimer: I wrote this at work, so if anything seems off, it’s because I’m posting from my phone, not computer.

5. She’s hiding behind the sofa.

6. You’re Satan.

17. I’d rather die than do that.

You and Loki had made plans to bake Christmas cookies together. Or rather, you had made plans and told Loki that he was helping you… whether he wanted to or not.

However, he was on the “Not” helping side and made it abundantly clear that he would not partake in your Christian celebrations saying, “I would rather die than do that”.

You just roll your eyes at him and tell him that because he was being overdramatic, he no longer got a vote.

But, of course, in true Loki fashion, at the time you were supposed to meet in the kitchen to start, he ‘conveniently’ goes ‘missing’.

As fate would have it, there was a missing person sign hanging on the fridge with a picture of Loki in Thor’s hand writing that said, “Have You Seen Me?” and you knew that the older brother would prove to be a reliable source.

“Hey, Thor! Have you seen your brother around?” You ask as you enter the private study where he was ‘reading up on Midgardian modern literature’. Today, it appeared to be ‘The Hunger Games’.

The God of Thunder stands up from his spot behind the desk in greeting with a smile, gesturing for you to take the seat before him, all without looking up from his book. “Lady Y/L/N. I’m glad you are here. I have a question regarding this fascination book about this uh- Panem. I take it that this place represents a dystopian future for the United States, yes? Well, why would all the other countries turn their back and let this annual macabre massacre happen? Though I enjoy a good fight, putting children in the ring seems absolutely deplorable.” He finally looks up from the book. “District Four, tell me, is that Florida?”

You bite your lip in an attempt to keep the smile off your lips, but ultimately fail at the Gods enthusiasm. “You do realize that it is just fiction, right? I think it’s unlikely that anything like this could actually happen, though with the way things are looking today, who knows. It is post apocalyptic America. Fingers crossed, though. Fingers crossed. Besides, I kinda always thought District Four was California. Finnick seems like a surfer dude.”

Thor’s face screws into a look of confusion as he parrots, “Finnick? Surfer Dude?”

Laughing, you give a comforting pat on the arm. “You may not have gotten to him yet.” Then you shake your head, reminding yourself why you are there. “Anywho, where’s Loki? I saw your sign but I know you know where he’s at.”

Thor leans back in his chair and gives you a knowing smile. “I put up that sign because I know not where he is.”

You roll your eyes at him and mimic his relaxed stance. “Mhm,” you hum, unimpressed. “Want to try that again?”

Thor’s smile widens into a cheshire grin, having fun with this game. “Loki wishes for me to send you his regards and sincerest apologies. He was called back to Asgard for erm, diplomatic reasons.”

You quirk an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest.“Now really, Thor? That’s the best you got?” You roll your eyes again. “There’s a reason why Loki is the God of Lies, not you. ‘Diplomatic reasons’? Dude, Asgard was destroyed. By you.”

“Surtur, actually,” Thor automatically corrects with a big dopey smile. “And I had to give it my best shot so I can have a defense against the greasy weasel himself when he seeks me out for retribution. I know that I can’t lie to you, nor do I want to. I also want some of those cookies you will be making.” He puffs his bottom lip in a pout and gives you his best puppy dog eyes. “Can I have some? Please, Y/N? Please?!”

You manage to keep an unamused look on your face for all of three seconds before you crack and give him a smile. “Only if you tell me where he is.”

Thor nods enthusiastically. “Yes, of course. Loki’s hiding behind the couch on our floor.”

“Oh no,” you gasp, a panicked look coming on your face. “Don’t tell me.”

Thor gives you a sympathetic look with a sorrowful nod. “He’s a cat.”

“Come on, Lokitty. They are literally just cookies.”

Your plea was greeted with a hiss and you let out a frustrated sigh.

For the last five minutes, you have been trying to coax your boyfriend out from underneath the couch. As soon as he saw you coming down the hall, he leapt from his perch on the back of the couch and dove under into the tiny space between the floor and the furniture. Since then, any attempt to reach for him was greeted with a hiss and a swipe of a paw with sharp claws.

“I swear to the ever loving god, if you don’t cut this shit out right now, I am getting the spray bottle and will throw a blanket over you and give you a very invasive flea bath followed by a shave because do you really need all that hair?”

You sit back on your heels and wait for your threat to be acknowledged by another hiss.

Much to your surprise, Lokitty peeks his head out from his spot, giving you the stink eye. You glare in return, not faltering under his gaze. “Not even joking,” you confirm, narrowing your eyes into slits.

A deep rumble erupts from the black cat’s chest before he leaves his spot completely and sits in front of you. A moment later, a bright green light shimmers over his form and soon enough, the Loki you were most familiar with stood before you with the most adorable pout on his face.

He turns his nose up at you. “You are Satan.”

Standing up from the ground, you roll your eyes in return. “And you are acting like a petulant child.”

Silence settles between the two of you and it turns into a game of who would speak first. Tension is thick, the both of you fuming at each other.

Unlike Loki, you didn’t have forever to hold a grudge. That, and you wanted answers.

“I don’t understand,” you murmur in a harsh tone, glaring at a random tile on the floor. “It’s literally just baking cookies. We’ve baked together before. And you liked it. Why is this any different?”

Loki sniffs, “I feel that I’ve been very clear. I do not wish to partake in any of your Christian celebrations. Especially after you threaten to cut my hair.”

You honest to god facepalm. You weren’t in the mood to bullshit today. “First of all, I only threatened your hair because I knew that it would get you out from underneath the damn couch. Second, you are starting to sound like Thor when it comes to your hair. Third, I love your hair. You know this. So obviously, it was an empty threat. So get over it.”

You watch Loki’s touch facade begin to crack with a twitch of his lips before he caves and smiles at you. “I love that you don’t coddle me.”

“Mhm,” you hum, still not impressed. “Sure you do. If you love me so much, you would stop putting up a fight about f—ing Christmas cookies.” Loki goes to interrupt, but you throw a hand up. “Ah-uh. I’m speaking. You can stop this B.S. about it being a Christian Holiday. There is no one here who really claims to be Christian. It is literally just a holiday like any other and you know this. Besides, the Christmas ‘we’ celebrate today hold strong pagan themes such as Yuletide or jólnir, which literally was meant to celebrate the Norse Gods. I.E. You, dumbass. So, fight me.” You pause. “I have a whole list of ways that the Christians have created their Christmas traditions from midwinter celebrations, so don’t even try to argue with me.”

Strong arms wrap around you, pulling you into Loki’s embrace. “See, I knew you loved me. If I was anyone else, you would have just ignored me. I love it when you get feisty.” He presses a kiss to your neck and you shiver in pleasure.

“Yeah, yeah. Love you too. Now can we please go make those cookies now!”

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