#“but on google it says the A in LGBTQA+ is for Allies!-” No.

[contradictory-label-culture-is]

Whenever someone uses a Google definition for an argument (about LGBTQ+ terms) it actually pisses me off like no Google isn't always right, especially about this.

[fcmilybonded]

1-3, 5, 6, 9, 12, 14, 15, 20-22, 24, 28-32, 34-37

the be honest meme // @lovestoomany // dear god nia

What would prevent you from following someone?

Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?

What current rp trend do you hate?

ANSWERED HERE

5. Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why?      I don’t have a preference! and i don’t understand why some people do lmfao

6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why? i used to prefer writing male muses, then i used to prefer writing female muses, but now i’m just like 🤷‍♀️ if a muse grabs me, their gender doesn’t matter, it’s all about the character babey

9. What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not? i personally do not practice it. i like to interact with all different interpretations of muses, and if i went exclusive, that would be impossible. i can see why ppl do, and if that’s what they wanna do then, you go!

12. Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it? thankfully, nope i have not been. 

14. Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person? I would say positive. Very positive. Tumblr can be wild for sure, but i started rping when i was around 13, and still rp now, and i’ve met so many amazing friends through it who have had a positive affect on my life. 

15. How has rp changed you personally? Probably by making me a better writer by writing consistently over 11 years

20. Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with? Felt pressured? Yes. Written it? No. 

21. Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to? Hmmmm.... I would say no. In some fandoms i’ve been in, there were some pretty prominent rpers that if you DIDN’T write with them, you weren’t worth writing with. Out of spite i didn’t follow them lmao.

22. What would make you block someone? A soft block would be if i didn’t want to follow anymore, so i do that instead of breaking mutuals (esp with mutual checker not working properly). A hard block would be for someone who posts triggering stuff, or a non mutual that repeatedly breaks my rules. or if someone spam reblogs from me. esp not a mutual.

24. Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it? Nope! Not that I know of anyway.

28. Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting? Yup. The rules are usually a pretty good indicator of if i want to follow someone. So i try to read them first before following. I’ll also often quickly give them a skim over just before i start writing with someone, if it’s been a while since i followed.

29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it? as in ‘if you reblog a meme from me, please send one in?’ yeah, i believe that and i practice it to my best ability. sometimes memes don’t fit for all muses - but in that case i reblog from the source. i only don’t if the source link is broken. I’m also believe ‘if i send you memes, it wouldn’t kill you to send some back at some point’ 

30. How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all? LMAO like yeet? and rip? yeah, i do use it in every day life lmao rip me. mostly yeet though.

31. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain? DEAR GOD YES. every time a new slang word comes along and everyone some how already knows exactly what it means and i’m sitting here like ‘wait did i miss a memo?? i’m young and hip toooo don’t forget about meeeeeee’ so i have to google it. like pog and all the versions of that lmao

32. Have you ever experienced discrimination? Hmm, I don’t think so? The best thing about the rpc is that there are a lot of LGBTQA+ muns and allys, so I haven’t had to worry about that. Which is nice.

34. Have you ever cried while writing a reply? ANSWERED HERE

35. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own? I read other peoples threads! I don’t always keep up on each reply, but i 100% read what i can.

36. What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you? nothing comes to mind actually! i know there are a lot of things that ppl do get heated about but i’m here chillin like ‘dude’ but nothing specific comes to mind rn lmao but if i think of something i’ll let you know

37. How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t? I tag triggers - but on blogs like elijah i don’t tag like, blood or violence bc that’s a given. I tag a lot of the heavy stuff, if it comes up - but i also generally avoid writing about that stuff anyway. if someone asks me to tag something specific, i will.

[lescaptaincarol]

bisexuality

written bi, a person who just so happens to be bi 

Hello person reading this right now! 

If you’re new to my blog welcome, I hope you enjoy it here. If you’ve read some of my other posts, welcome back. 

I wanted to write a little something today because I felt like it, and also because I have seen a lot of biphobia lately. For those of you who don’t believe that biphobia exists I would please ask you to look up #DroptheB that is happening in parts of the LGBTQA+* community, that’s one example of biphobia. This is just something that bisexual people, like myself, have to deal with. I understand that those of us who identify as bisexual have some privilege compared to other members of the community, whereas we may be in a straight-passing relationship and people assume we’re straight, even though it’s not the case. Being told we’re one thing, being told we don’t exist, how we identify is “wrong.” Those of us who identify as bisexual are often told we don’t exist, that how we identify is “wrong.” There are a lot of people who don’t understand why we can’t “pick one” (trust me this happens, it’s annoying and frustrating as fuck). I mean there are a lot of ignorant people who still don’t understand that we (the whole LGBTQA+) don’t “choose” who we are or who we’re attracted to. 

 I wanted to write this long-ass post explaining how I define bisexuality, amid the current #DroptheB “trend” (idk what to call it). Now, #DroptheB began because some people believe that bisexual means that someone is only attracted to cis-males and cis-females. I understand that it may sound that way, the prefix “bi” meaning two. I am here to tell you that I define bisexual to mean “a person who is attracted to all genders.” The google definition of bisexual is “sexually attracted to both men and women.” This pisses me off, they should change that definition because, it. Is. Wrong. 

A lot of people have been backing up the #DroptheB thing (I really don’t know what to call it because I don’t want to call it a trend or movement, idk) saying that bisexual people can and should identify as pansexual. Bisexuality and pansexuality are totally different things, sure they’re on the same spectrum, but they’re not the same thing. I define bi as being attracted to people of all genders, and pan as attracted to people regardless of gender. I mean, I can’t speak fully about pansexuality, because I’m not pan, but one of my really close friends is pan and we’ve discussed this before and she’s agreed. But I think this is an easy way to differentiate between the two. More celebrities are coming out as pan right now I.e. Brendon Urie & Janelle Monáe, so there are a lot of articles coming out (pun intended) about pansexuality, if you need to educate yourself. 

So I just wanted to write this post because I wanted to explain bisexuality to people who may not understand what it means, or those who hear about bisexuality from people who aren’t bi. 

Thanks for reading. If you have any thoughts, comments, questions, go ahead and share them here/ dm me. I just ask that you try to remain respectful and kind. :)

*please note: when I say LGBTQA+ the A = Asexual, not ally (not that I don’t love our allies but for this post the A = Asexual)  

[on-fic-writing-spree]

You don’t have to be bisexual to be a battleaxe bi lmao but ok

Also u being straight already makes u look like a fucking idiot, screw off u have no place talking them

Neither of those statements are true, actually, either. All battleaxe bis believe that sexualities that can fit under the label of bisexual are inherently biphobic, which is stupid as fuck because the label is so fucking broad when we have so many genders. Battleaxe bis dont fucking believe in just erasing biphobia, that’s called being a bi ally or just bluntly being bisexual and calling out biphobia, but that doesn’t fucking make you a battleaxe bi. What does is literally if you believe pansexual / polysexual / omnisexual / other labels are inherently biphobic. I don’t know what stupidity you’ve been reading.

The other thing isn’t true either. Truscum are fucking idiots, no matter where you go. The diagnostic criteria for dysphoria as defined in psychology literally says YOU DO NOT NEED DYSPHORIA TO BE TRANSGENDER. The idea that you need dysphoria to be transgender is inherently transphobic as it fucking means that to be trans, you must have a disorder, and if you haven’t figured that out, that’s been something to harm the LGBTQA+ community for a long ass time. The only time it can be argued otherwise is when you’re using a non-science or psychology based definition that’s broad as shit like google’s, which is just that your sense of gender doesn’t align with your birth sex, but actual definitions that count in other settings would never use a google definition. So once again. Stupid as fuck.

I can’t believe I just read some straight person’s bullshit. Shut up and go back to living under a rock because you don’t get to say shit about other sexualities if you’re straight.

Anyway

Fuck battleaxe bis

You don’t have to be bisexual to be valid.

[stealing-your-soda]

people who are cishet do not have the right to take up space and resources in the LGBT community! the LGBT community was not made as an umbrella acronym for anybody who was ~different~. People who are ace can be gay/bi/lesbian/trans, and of course if that's the case then they have a space within the community but people who are ace are not inherently LGBT! (plus, the "a" stands for ally so that closeted people can participate in the community w/o outing themselves)

The A stands for Asexual Aromantic and Agender and maybe Ally if its used like youre saying

Litteraly google what does the A in LGBTQA stand for and it comes up with this “LGBT: Abbreviation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender. An umbrella term that is used to refer to the community as a whole. LGBTQIA used to intentionally include and visibilize the Queer, Intersex and Asexual communities under our umbrella.”

Im a Bi Ace myself so I cant speak for Het Aces but pretty sure Het Aces are still considered Asexual so actually by the looks of that definition they do belong in the community.

[mavofficial]

who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery?

tell us about your first crush?

what sort of advice to have you lgbtqa teens?

what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtqa characterization in media?

Hi I decided to answer these in character because Aiden’s answers differ depending on the environment he’s in and notably with his age/maturity.

In public:

“There are plenty of queer actors that would love to hear these question but I’m not really qualified to answer any of them as I’m just an ally. However, I can tell you about my first crush: Zariah Erickson, she did a several episodes of Tall Tales and I was always excited to see her on set. My aunt even helped me pick out flowers to give to her. She said I was too young to have a girlfriend so she made me pick the yellow roses 😂.”

In private:

“Um... I haven’t really thought about it? Can I get away with saying my dad and my friends since most of them are famous and supportive idols? 😂”

“Oh. His name was Nathan, a castmate back in middle school. He’s out of the closet now which is cool for him.”

“Fuck I don’t know. I really don’t have anything good to add to the conversation.”

“I- I guess I’m tired of seeing characters who’s entire personality is that they’re gay and that they have to come out of the closet. I’m tired of seeing all the sex as well. It makes me feel- Ah, nevermind.”

In private/public, in the future:

“I remember when googling the names of Star Wars cast members in high school to see what they were saying about LGBT+ community. It’s kinda silly but I took comfort in knowing that the people I wanted to be like would’ve supported me unconditionally.”

“Oh gods. A castmate back in middle school named Nathan. I was head over hills, talking about him constantly to my parents and siblings. ‘Mom! Nate did the coolest thing on set today!’ Oh my gods, I guess some habits never die. When I’m crushing on a guy, I won’t stop talking about him and I can’t shut up when I’m talking to him.”

“High school was a scary time for me. I hated who I was and often blamed my sexuality for the awful things grown adults did to me. So, if I could give any teen advice, I’d tell them to be easier on themselves. Understand that you’re not broken. Remind yourself that your identity does not make anyone do anything. You are not responsible for the ignorance and the twisted actions of the people you’ll meet. With that, try your absolute best to love yourself. Try with everything you have - and I mean absolutely everything - because sometimes the only thing we have is ourselves.”

“For whatever reason, they like to make LGBT+ characters hypersexual and heavy drinkers - which are toxic stereotypes that are easy to internalize. It makes me so uncomfortable and I think it honestly fucked me up a little when I was younger. I relied on the media to tell me how to be gay because I was afraid to ask anyone. It made sobriety and addressing my sexual habits so much harder because I had attributed this unhealthy behavior to my identity.”

[danithebookaholic-blog]

NEW RELEASE!

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A New World - Conviction 

By M.D. Neu

Publication Date: March 11th 2019 Genres: LGBTQ+, Science Fiction

Synopsis:

A little blue world, the third planet from the sun. It’s home to 7 billion people with all manner of faiths, beliefs and customs, divided by bigotry and misunderstanding, who will soon be told they are not alone in the universe. Anyone watching from the outside would pass by this fractured and tumultuous world, unless they had no other choice.

Todd Landon is one of these people, living and working in a section of the world called the United States of America. His life is similar to those around him: home, family, work, friends and a husband. 

After the attack on San Jose, Todd is appointed to Special Envoy for Terran Affairs by the nentraee, a position many world leaders question. Undeterred Todd wants to build bridges between both people. However, this new position brings with it a new set of problems that not only he, but his new allies Mi’ko and Mirtoff must overcome. Will the humans and nentraee learn to work together despite mistrust and threats of more attacks by a new global terrorist group, or will the terrorists win? Will this bring an end to an already shaky alliance between nentraee and humans?

Goodreads

Excerpt:

Ceremony A New World-Conviction M.D. Neu © 2019 All Rights Reserved

In this excerpt Todd is getting ready to meet the full nentraee Speaker’s House for the first time. It is a tense moment between Todd and Vi-Narm and a moment where Todd learns that not all the nentraee may think as highly of him as Mi’ko, the vice-speaker, and Mirtoff, the speaker general do. I hope you enjoy:

Todd finished reviewing the details on the ceremony before leaving his quarters.

Ceremony. Bullshit! It’s not a ceremony but an interview in front of the full Speaker’s House. Why didn’t Vi-Narm tell me? She made it out to be no big deal.

He rushed down the hall, his cloak, the Kap’erin, billowed out behind him. Several Nentraee stopped and bowed as he passed. He turned the corner and checked his datapad for directions. His palms were damp. His heart pounded, and not from rushing.

Vi-Narm waited for him outside large ornate doors decorated with carvings of gold and silver. The surrounding light bounced off the metals, creating shimmering circles of light on the floor.

“Todd.” Vi-Narm offered a stiff bow, her cloak shifting about her shoulders.

Damn it.

He should have been more diligent, not assuming that all the reports she gave him were the only ones.

We’ll learn to work together. If I survive this.

“Hello, Vi-Narm,” Todd said as he searched for a hint of a friendly greeting, but her face was stern and her lips a straight line.

“We will go in the council chamber where the Speaker’s House will be in session.” She eyed him coolly. “Once they address us, you will present yourself and answer their questions to the best of your ability. The interview process is simple, so you should have no trouble. But, do not be fooled. This will also decide if they will accept you.”

“Wait. Accept me?” Todd tried to process while catching his breath. “What happens if they don’t approve of me? Mi’ko didn’t say anything about that.”

What happens if I can’t understand their broken English and answer the question wrong? God, I hope it’s in English.

“Then he must believe you will be fine and not want to worry you.” The slightest suggestion of a smile reached her lips.

Sweat broke out on his forehead. Vi-Narm had sent him file after file last night for review. “There  was so much information to review, and some of it made no sense until I researched it further, taking more time.” He frowned. “It didn’t help that you’ve been sending me a ton of information. I haven’t been able to sort through it all.”

“It’s not my job to help you sort through what I send.” Vi-Narm’s voice was calm. Cold. “I send the document that are required for all your different tasks. It is your responsibility to organize them and go through them and be prepared.”

Todd shook his head and stared at the floor. He inhaled deeply and met her eyes. “I would’ve appreciated you pointing out the information that was important for today’s events. I could’ve focused on it.”

“Perhaps you should organize your time better, or is that a failing of your character?”

“But I—”

“It was in the report I send to you this morning,” she interrupted. “You did read it? Did you not?” 

“Today? This morning? As in, while I was still in bed, or while I was getting ready for this interview?”

Or when I was on the toilet?

Trying not to sound as pissed as he felt, he checked his pocket watch. Since getting it, he kept it with him as a good-luck piece. Now, more than ever, he needed the luck.

“Vi-Narm, how could you send it this morning? I didn’t have a chance—you made it sound like this was only my welcome ceremony. That was my impression from… I didn’t have a chance to…”

She hates me. That’s why she’s doing this. She hates me and is determined for me to fail.

He saw a hint of a smile, and he was sure there was a brief twinkle in her eyes.

God, she’s a total bitch. With luck, she’ll trip and fall on her way into the chamber. That might loosen the stick up her ass.

He took a breath and held back the frown that was stalking his face. “I’ll do my best.”

She watched the chamber doors open. “Let us hope Mi’ko’s faith in you is well placed.”

The soft ticking of his watch reminded him why he was here.

I can do this.

Purchase:

Amazon / B&N / iBooks / Kobo / Google Play

Author Bio:

M.D. Neu is a LGBTQA Fiction Writer with a love for writing and travel. Living in the heart of Silicon Valley (San Jose, California) and growing up around technology, he's always been fascinated with what could be. Specifically drawn to Science Fiction and Paranormal television and novels, M.D. Neu was inspired by the great Gene Roddenberry, George Lucas, Stephen King, Alice Walker, Alfred Hitchcock, Harvey Fierstein, Anne Rice, and Kim Stanley Robinson. An odd combination, but one that has influenced his writing.

Growing up in an accepting family as a gay man he always wondered why there were never stories reflecting who he was. Constantly surrounded by characters that only reflected heterosexual society, M.D. Neu decided he wanted to change that. So, he took to writing, wanting to tell good stories that reflected our diverse world.

When M.D. Neu isn't writing, he works for a non-profit and travels with his biggest supporter and his harshest critic, Eric his husband of eighteen plus years.

Website / Facebook / Twitter / Goodreads

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From one bookaholic to another, I hope I’ve helped you find your next fix. —Dani

Have a book you’d like to suggest or one you’d like me to review? Please feel free to leave your comments down below.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Asking people to Google their questions about the LGBTQ community is appealing — but risky

If you're a member of the LGBTQ community, chances are you've been asked the same questions over and over. Did someone or something make you gay? What does transgender even mean? Why do there have to be so many pronouns?

It's exhausting, especially because most people's knowledge of the LGBTQ community is limited to what they learned on the playground and a viral clip of Ben Shapiro. No wonder the newish allyship guides have encouraged people to Google their questions about the LGBTQ community, instead of relying on the marginalized to do the work of explaining.

It's a reasonable request. If only Google and the platforms were up to the task.

SEE ALSO: All the best queer memes inspired by Nintendo

When Bustle interviewed 19 members of the LGBTQ community last year about how allies can improve, participants came up with similar answers: "A big one was not relying on LGBTQA+ people to educate you on the issues when Google is a thing — and it's free. Be conscientious of the emotional labor that goes into constantly explaining things to and do your own research."

DIY research is a great idea, but the problem is, Google isn't always the best teacher. As the 2016 election (and its aftermath) have taught us, searching out good sources is a skill, one that largely comes with education. Too often, even well-intentioned readers aren't capable of separating good news sites from bad ones, or Russian bots from real people. 

Take a look at what happens when you Google common questions about the LGBTQ community. This is the very first Google search result from "What does the rainbow mean?" It comes from DesiringGod.org:

Surprisingly, this is not accurate.

Image: screenshot/desiring God

I Googled "Can you cure homosexuality?" and this was the seventh result I found, from the famously anti-LGBTQ organization, Focus on the Family:

OK.

Image: screenshot/focus on the family

The first result for the question: "Why is my kid gay?"is also from Focus on the Family.

I was diagnosed with pre-homosexuality and current-homosexuality and will likely develop forever-homosexuality.

Image: screenshot/focus on the family

Imagine what happens after an uninformed person Googles "transgendered" (not really a word, but used by people unfamiliar with/antagonistic to the community) and "predators."

This if the fifth result, from anti-LGBTQ hate group Family Research Council:

No.

Image: screenshot/family research council

YouTube is worse, if possible. Here's the fifth result I found when I searched "difference between sex and gender." It's from notorious enemy of the queer and trans community, Jordan Peterson:

No one should ever take their opinions from this man.

Image: screenshot/youtube

Then there are the fourth and fifth results after I search "What is the gender binary?" on YouTube ... of course Ben Shapiro had something [wildly incorrect] to say.

When you want to debate this late into your thirties, something's wrong.

Image: screenshot/youTube

The problem is pervasive, but the explanation is simple: Search engines aren't designed to be culturally sensitive. They share and incidentally prioritize plenty of malicious content. Google the company might consider itself an ally to the trans and queer community, but Google the search engine is not. 

 "One component of the algorithm looks at the number of links to a webpage to determine how high a website appears in a search, and this puts LGBTQ advocacy organizations and community groups at a disadvantage, as sensationalized or malicious content will often have a larger audience," Chris Brown, Digital Director at GLAAD, told Mashable. "Online spaces have always been places where LGBTQ people are able to make connections and build community ...  Unfortunately, oftentimes we find this positive content flagged for removal, while malicious content is able to proliferate algorithmically with limited checks and balances."

People are emotionally complex. So are their questions. It can be a challenge for search engines to provide them with the nuanced answers they deserve, Oliver Haimson, a President's Postdoctoral Fellow at the University of Michigan's School of Information, explains:

"The problem here is that Google's goal is to provide information that best matches a text query, and that goal may be at odds with the complexities that arise when people have questions about the LGBTQ people in their lives. Google's algorithms tend to promote content that is linked to and clicked on a lot, but otherwise do not always do a great job of distinguishing between helpful advice and harmful/inaccurate advice. This type of algorithmically curated search result may not be a good stand-in for advice for a distressed parent who is just learning that their child is gay or trans."

Consider a slightly better scenario: A straight or cis person, seeking answers about the trans and queer community, comes across a site that is actually curated by *gasp* the trans and queer community. Even then, not all of these sites are explainers, and no single one is representative of a larger community. This kind of searching is a risk to the LGBTQ community most of all. Not everyone who posts about their gender identity wants the people in their personal life (or strangers seeking advice on the internet) to view it.

"One of my main concerns would be straight and/or cis people coming across content that was not meant for them, possibly even by people in their own networks," Raisman says. "For example, if a cis ally went digging too deep, she may uncover a friend or family member's trans or non-binary identity that that person was not yet ready to disclose to her ... LGBTQ people may feel comfortable sharing more personal information within these communities and online spaces that they think are not going to be accessed by outsiders. When outsiders access these communities, it breaks that trust."

Cultural education isn't easy, no matter the venue. People who are curious about the LGBTQ community should be given the opportunity to learn about the community without resorting to misinformed or malicious actors on the internet. And people who are tired of answering the same three questions about their gender identity and sexual orientation shouldn't have to answer them.

In an ideal world, the algorithms themselves would improve.

"Any possible solution to bias in machine learning will require community involvement, and a seat at the table for LGBTQ people and experts when product decisions are being made," Brown says.

In a less-than-ideal world (i.e the one we currently live in), other solutions will have to do. Here's what Raisman recommends:

 "A better scenario would be if there were an online community of allies that LGBTQ people could refer their friends and family members to — that way, humans could learn from each other in safe online spaces." 

This shouldn't be hard. Safe online spaces, good information, and people learning from each other: it's a whole lot better than a Google search. Imagine that.

WATCH: Water will never be boring again with this infuser bottle