#“all men are pigs” moment but like v v v v v pos
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
chaotic-patchwork · 1 year ago
Text
I like just finished Hellsing Ultimate with one of my partners and I kinned like half the cast asdfjk-
Also HOW FUCKING DARE YOU CREATORS
Just- in general, what the fuck asdfjk-
Also I fucking love how they casually slip these relationship tidbits I love it so much
Like she had her first kiss like that for real and I fucking loooooove it
Like HOUGH YES I'm not usually one for straight relationships as a joke bit honestly for real Hellsing Ultimate just- mwah
A vampire and a paladin walk into a bar in north Ireland-
It's so fucking good too how many like varieties of relationship tidbits there are
Like I understand yall now, it's so fucking good and I'm obsessed now asdfjk-
The fucken museum was beautiful
I feel so goddamn betrayed
Can't believe that he has an official voice actor
Straight people are ok sometimes
FUCK YOU
He was gone 30 goddamn years but also only 10 minutes I missed him hehehehehe
I loved it so so so so fucking much
Kins will be in the tags because fuck all of you I'm so queer
4 notes · View notes
bandgeek4life8 · 3 years ago
Text
Guardians - chapter two the lost city of atlantis
Chapter 1
WC: 3, 453
Season 1, Episode 2: The Lost City of Atlantis
Previously on Guardian in Jim's POV "The Nightmares have emerged once more." Pabbie told everyone.
"GREAT GRONKA MORKA!!" Blinky exclaimed.
"And they attend to assimilate an army. They already have the witch Gothel, the bogeyman Pitch Black, the dragon tamer Drago Bludvist with his mother of dragons Red Death, the prince Hans of Southern Isles and Duke of Weselton, the cursed bear Mor'du, the Pirate "Captain Hook" Killian James, and the Boggan Mandrake. And I have a list of who they want. From my visions. But only two people I wish to say it to: Vendel and... James Lake Jr. Because she wishes it."
"Who wishes for me to know?" I asked him.
"Starling."
Some people are chosen for this life and have no choice but to accept its transgressions. Others spend their life completely in the dark about this life we lead. Some, like me, choose to live this life. It is a lot of work for anybody. Not just anybody can get into this life and survive its trials and tribulations. But we were born for this. To become guardians. But I'm not a guardian yet. I'm just an apprentice.
|{[INSERT_OPENING_SEQUENCE]}|
"Welcome to the first meeting of the Druidia Order." I announced.
"Did you have to name us after a planet in your favorite Star Wars movie?" asked the raven-haired time-traveller Wilbur Robinson.
"Spaceballs is not a Star Wars movie, Wilbur." Currently undercover spy, Walter Beckett told him.
Wilbur rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
"Did your dad teach you anything about Star Wars?" asked blonde enpath/ hockey-player from Wisconsin, Riley Anderson.
"Only that he hated the sequels, he loves the originals, and respects what the prequels tried to do." Wilbur said.
"Can we please get to the topic at hand please?" I asked everyone.
Everyone in the room grumbled out a yes and we continued with the precedings. Wow. That sounds way too formal for me.
"Well what can we do? We already made allies with the Arendelle trolls via Elsa and Anna. We had Grand Pabbie alert the Trollhunter of the Nightmares." said Ted Wiggins.
"Which means a group of you have to go find the essence stones." Megamind appeared with a plate of, "who wants cookies?"
"Are you growing soft on us, Meg?" Megamind basically growled at Wilbur for the nickname he used.
"I am trying to babysit Gru's oldest daughter and her friends." Megamind told him looking the kid dead in the eye.
"What do you know of the essence stones?" I asked him, ignoring the intense staredown happening between the two makes.
Megamind turned his attention away from Wilbur only for the time-traveller to blow a raspberry at him and Megamind to turn back and glare at him I rolled my eyes. The same old stupid antics. "I know where you can find the essence stone of the ocean."
"If you tell me we have to befriend Poseidon or-."
"It's in Atlantis." Megamind said.
"Or that." I facepalmed. "And how would you know that?"
"Because I have an evil underwater lair in the city of Atlantis." Cue another facepalm from me.
"And why...? You know what? I don't want to know. So how are we getting there?" I asked.
"It's not a matter of how we, but rather how who is getting there." Megamind said.
"That makes no sense whatsoever, dude." Hiro said as he walked into the room followed by Lucy Tuchi.
"Some of us will go on the mission while the rest research the rest of the essence stones." Megamind suggested.
"You know... your ideas are normally terrible. But this one is actually a good idea." Wilbur told him.
The alien growled. "Easy now, Megamind. When we heading out? And who is coming along for the ride?"
"You, Rayla, Ezran, Callum, Sisu, Hiccup, Jack, Light Furry, Walter, and Toothless." Megamind told us. "And you will leave tomorrow. After school."
"Alright. Before we do anymore planning, I need pizza." I walked over to where Hiro plopped the pizza on.
|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL HERE]}| "
I cannot believe he has the audacity for this! He knows we're not on the best of terms, and yet he does this." I sighed.
"I'm sure he has a reason." said Hiro.
"It's Megamind. It's a stupid-ass reason." I told him.
Hiro sighed. "But you miss hanging out with Toby and Jim. And you-."
"Don't even finish that sentence. I know what you were going to say." Hiro gapped at me. "I know what you were going to say. Only three people know it. And one betrayed me."
My phone vibrated in my hoodie's pocket and I opened it up to see a text from my grandmother, Margaret. "Is that Marge? What she said?"
"She's wondering about the you-know-what with the you-know-who." I told him. She wants to know about James Lake Jr being the Trollhunter. Grandpa would not be pleased with this anyway. But he's dead. And he doesn't matter.
"You have gym next block right?" I groaned. Of course I forgot. And why of all days did we have to do the Pacer test today!
"And we're doing the pacer test today too!" I would have banged my head on a locker if we weren't coming from History. "Kill me now! Woe is me!"
"Stop being overdramatic. And I'm off my way to Robotics." Hiro said once we got to the hall where we would part ways.
"Don't take over the world of robotics without your team first." I called out to gim.
"Yeah, yeah. Just focus on making chemistry after gym, but preferably during." the smart-ass called back.
I'm gonna kill him one of these days. Just you wait, Hiro Hamada. I grumbled and continued on my way to the ends of the earth. Also known as gym. Because I lack the athletic ability of a worm. My arms are basically noodles before submerged in H20. I got dressed in my PE clothes and walked outside to the bleachers where I plopped myself down on. Gym. The one class I don't have my safety net to catch me. The one block where I feel alone. Completely and helplessly alone.
"Hey, [Y/N]. Mind if we sit here?" asked Toby.
It was just him and Jim. What on Earth are they up to? I scooted some ways away from my spot and patted the spot beside me. Jim took the spot beside me while Toby took the bench in front of us.
"We haven't hung out just the three of us in awhile, huh?" Toby remarked.
"You both seem busy since the semester started. I can't blame you for that one."  I told them. The pair shrugged at me, but it was a lying shrug. I would know. I do the same ones. "Anyway, what are we doing for our History Project, Jamie?" I looked over at him.
"I don't know. Wanna brainstorm some ideas after school?" Jim asked me.
"Can't. I have a family thing." Lying to them has gotten harder since I found out. Hopefully they don't catch. But they're idiots. They won't catch on... I hope. "I can come over tomorrow after school if you want."
"That... Th-th-th-that'll be gr-gr-gr-great." What's with the stammer? It's weird. "Oh, don't forget about Pig Zombies on Saturday."
"Don't worry. I have it all set in my calendar. So, what time is the movie?" I asked them.
Toby and Jim shared a look. Oh that is never good. "We don't actually know."
"Then, what are we going to do about Saturday?" I asked them.
"We're more of idea men." Like they're any close to being men. "Creating a plan is someone else's problem." Of course.
"You two haven't changed at all, have you? I'll get to work on that sometime this evening. You guys still have email, righr?" I asked them.
"Who still uses e-mail anymore?" Toby inquired.
"Good point. I'll just have Lucy drive us to the theater anyway." I replied. "So, how are you and Claire going, Jamie?"
"O-o-o-oh, m-m-me and Claire?" stammered Jim. That's strange.
"Yes, you and Claire. You two are dating, aren't you?" I asked him.
"Oh, y-y-yeah. We're g-g-g-good." Hmm. Peculiar. But Jim's always been like this when pertaining to Claire. Nothing suspicious about that.
I hope.
|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|
Jim
"So, you have a study date with [Y/N] tomorrow huh?" Claire teased me while we walked to Blinky's library.
"What-. Wait! You told her!" I exclaimed to Toby who was on my left side.
"Of course, I did. Dude, you've been hopelessly obliviously in love with this girl since she stole your first kiss on the monkey bars when we were nine. And she-."
"She clearly has feelings for you, but she's not gonna act upon them since you know we're fake dating and all that jazz." Claire said.
I sighed. "You're the smart one. Couldn't you have come up with something... um... better?"
"What? Because a wuss like you was going to ask her out if I didn't say we were dating?" Claire asked him, raising an eyebrow at her friend.
I sighed once more. She clearly had a point. And Tobes seemed to catch it too. "He tried to ask her if she wanted to go see Pig Zombie 6 for her sixteenth birthday, but dragged me along with them because he wussed out of calling it a date."
Claire tapped her chin in thought. I do not understand girls. Then, she did the thing where you smack your fist against your hand in an aha! idea moment. Which is what transpired next. "I have a perfect idea for your movie date on Saturday."
"Am I going to regret this?" I asked her.
"I hope not. I'm helping you whether you want me to or not." Yea me! Internal frown.
We made it Blinky's library in which the four arm troll was talking animatedly to Vendell. About Essence Stones? What the fuzz buckets are those?
"Um, what are the Essence Stones?" I piped up.
"The Essence Stones are the only thing that can combat the Oncoming Storm." Vendel explained.
"Which is why we should be looking for them! We already know where one is! The Sea Stone!" Blinky told him.
"I already told you the Starling has this under control. This is her fight. Not ours. We shouldn't-."
"But then why have Pabbie tell us about the resurgence anyways?!" Blinky cut him off. I don't think Blinky has ever interrupted Vendel before. This is a first.
"Because to warn us of an even greater danger, Blinkous!! One that we have to face on our own! As Trolls!" the elder roared.
I never saw a look of fear as intense as the look that crossed Blinky's face when Vendel told him that. A greater danger? Even Aaarrrggghh! and Draal had the same look as Blinky. What did it all mean? Vendel left the library.
"I don't care what the goat says. We're getting the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.
"And how do we acquire it?" asked Claire.
"Hate Gyre." Aaarrrgghh! cried. Oh.
"And where would we find the Sea Stone?" Toby asked. "It's underwater right? And we can't breathe in water? So is it in an aquarium? Washed up on a beach?"
"I'll tell you where when we get to the Gyre." Claire, Toby, and I shared a look before shrugging our shoulders and following Blinky to the Gyre.
When we got there, we reached the Gyre and hopped in. "So, where are we going?"
"Under the sea. In an underwater palace where there is no water inside located in what you humans refer to as The Bermuda Triangle. Get ready for Atlantis." And before the three of us could protest, Blinky put in the coordinates and we zipped off towards... did he really say Atlantis? And the Bermuda Triangle?
But I didn't have time to question it as we arrived in a palace? And our clothes were soaking wet. But we never submerged in water? You know what? I shouldn't question it. Me and my friends huddled for warmth. It'll be awhile before we're dry. But why isn't- you know what? Never mind. I don't care.
"Okay, so where do we go first?" asked Toby.
"We head for the treasure room. The Jewel of Atlantis is the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.
"Why are we wet, but you aren't?" asked Claire.
"No clue." Blinky shrugged his shoulders.
The three of us grumbled but followed after Blinky with Aaarrrgghh! and Draal taking the rear. This is going to be a long evening. Our little group trudged, our squeaky footprints giving our location to anyone who would be here. And I think someone was here. Because a familiar ball of silver and blue was charging at us. Not us. Me. Followed by a march larger greenish-blue dragon.
"Hi, Azymondias." I said to the baby dragon when he jumped into my arms.
"I see you humans have already met the Prince. Starling's Zym seems to like you Mr Lake." the green-ish blue dragon said. Um... do dragons normally...
"YOU TALK?!?!" Thanks for that, Tobes.
"Of course, I do. I'm Sisu. Starling sent me after Little Azymondias to make sure he stayed out of trouble." Why aren't Blinky, Aarrrgghh!, and Draal freaking out about there being another dragon? And the elf being here?
"You six, now-seven, looking for the Treasure Room?" asked Sisu.
I shivered as a breeze went by. Why was there a breeze? We're in a dry castle underwater! This is just too weird.
"We were headed that way right now!" Blinky told the dragon.
Azymondias coughed. Or sneezed? I don't know. But he zapped me and I yelped and I'm... dry? Well alot dryer than before. Uh, thank you. Living dryer thay could kill me at any given moment. But you're still cute. So you're forgiven if you do.
"Well I wouldn't go that way! That's where Meg put his evil lair at." Sisu told us.
"Lair?" "Meg?"
"Meg is what the time-traveler calls Megamind. And he placed a lair here when he was going through his 'evil' phase." I did not know Dragons did air quotes.
"Time Traveler? Like the Doctor? Or Loki?" askes Toby.
"Looks like a mix of Matt Smith and Loki as a tween with too much hair gel. Alright, kids follow me." Sisu told us.
Zym appeared on my shoulder, wrapping his small body around on my shoulder and we followed the hopping dragon towards the treasure room. We had reached the treasure room, avoiding all the traps (that was on the ceiling for some strange reason). We arrived there. And Sisu peered inside before letting us enter. Strange.
But I couldn't help peering over Sisu's sboulder "Are you really angry that the Trollhunter keeps unknowingly stealing your pet?" That sounded like... no it can't be.
"Azymondias is not my pet. My pet sounds like I chose to take care of him. The bundle of zappy madness chose me to take care of him. So if anything, I'm his pet." Please tell me that's not who I think it is. But the-I'm guessing- Startouch Elf looks nothing like her. Not one bit. Well maybe except for the nose. And the eyes.
"You make absolutely no sense. And yet you love him anyway." the other voice said. A male with slick-back hair. This must be the time-traveler Wow. Sisu was spot on.
"Kids, easy now. We wouldn't want this to get into the wrong hands. Not this close to the Cotillion." A brunette male that appeared to be the oldest of the group. Why does he look so familiar to me?
"I have a question for you, pig snout. Meg said you wouldn't be here. Why the hell are you here? And why are you even here?" the elf asked.
"I stowed away because none of you are smart." the time-traveller said.
"Says the royal dumbass." the female elf sighed. "I'm so young and yet I feel so old." she emphasized. I was half expecting her to do a dramatic fall like they always seem to do in soap operas notthatIwatchsoapoperasinthefirstplacethat'sabsurd.
"I already knew that, dumbass." time-traveler said.
"Go on, Trollhunter." Sisu used her tail to push me toward the elf's group to retrieve the essence stone. "Introduce yourself."
And suddenly I stumbled upon the room making the group's attention turn to me. "Um...hi." Cue the awkward wave. "I'm... James Lake Jr? I'm the... Trollhunter." I held out the Amulet of Merlin. I could practically sense Toby and Claire facepalming at this.
"Starling, I think this one is for you to handle." I now noticed the brunette boy that stood beside the other elf. Is that... Callum Schlott?? Um... I hope if that is him, he doesn't tell [Y/N] about this.
"I am the one they refer to as Starling as you must know. And we don't need you here. To help us." The girl's hand were running up and down a strand of her waist length periwinkle hair. [Y/N] did the same thing when she had long hair. Not the time Jim.
"I think we do. Because the Seastone is missing if you've forgotten." the other elf said. She sounds like Rayla. And sort of looks like her too.
"THE SEASTONE IS GONE!?!?!?" Blinky exclaimed.
"Unfortunately so. Now, one advantage turns out to be a setback." I didn't notice the other brunette who had a black dragon that was acting like a cat by his feet.
"Do you have any leads?" asked Claire as she stepped forward.
"Just a Roman Penny. No clue from where though." Starling told us. "Now, I think it's time you kids return to California. Don'tyouthink."
|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|
"So Atlantis was a flopp?" I had already told Draal about the whole atlantis situation.
Luckily mom had another night shift at the hospital, so Draal could walk around freely while I made dinner for myself. Elbow Pasta and Meat Sauce it appears to be.
"Yes, it was, Draal." I turned the TV on and started flipping through the channels to find the one I wanted. "At least, I met Starling. She was not what I was expecting."
"Most elves aren't. You humans expect them to be small and cute because of the Claus, but they aren't." Draal told me.
"Actually, I think," I found what I was looking for. The French food competition show the World's Greatest Chef Competiton. "she was the exact opposite of what all of you were saying. Sure she was a tad harsh to us, but I think she didn't want to involve us in the Essence Stones. Like she didn't want anymore added help. I don't know." A knock sounded on the door.
"Were you expecting anyone?" asked Draal.
"Not that I know. Toby and Claire wouldn't knock. They'll just barge on in." I told him.
And before I got to the door, the door opened to reveal a boy with white hair, incredibly pale skin wearing a blue sweatshirt and brown trousers. "Don't be such a pussy, Hiccup." That was Sisu.
"Yeah, we're only here since Zym wants the trollhunter to be his dragon rider and to train him how to combat magic." white hair said.
"Um... what are you doing at my house?" I asked them as I held my wooden spoon in my hand, ready to strike them if necessary.
"You and Punzie would be great friends, squirt." The platinum blonde ruffled my brown hair to make it messy. My hair now looks like the dragon boy's hair.
"We're here to train you. I'm Hiccup. And this is Jack. Jack Frost." Wait. What? I'm lost. "I live over in Berk Manor. And you have wandered in a den where you cannot get out of." the brunnette introduced.
"Which is why Starling didn't want you to get involved. By trying to help us with the Seastone, you and your friends have put a target on your back. Starling didn't want that. But now we have to help you. To train you. Hiccup here is a Dragon Rider. And even though Azymondias isn't big enough to be ridden. He will be. I suspect sooner than you think, so he's going to train you to ride him. And I and many others are going come here to help you train against magic. Since the people who will come after you to kill you will have magic." Jack Frost told me. Now I'm really lost.
"So let's begin."
@trollhuntersfanatic
86 notes · View notes