#“So... you don't love Lord Hater?” “What? I never said that. Of course I do.”

[ultravioart]

Deathglare nonsense

On one hand, I think Peepers would openly be all confidently loving about hater because DUH anyone who didn't recognize Hater as the epitome of GREATEST manifested in physical form, simply needs their eyes checked-- On the other hand, I adore the idea of Peepers' love being so matter of fact and it being a years long normalcy between the two, that once it's pointed out that... no Peepers, that's not everyone's default towards Hater, and no Peepers, people don't usually drop everything in their life to dedicate it to some random stranger they met in the parking lot on a fateful summer's night... and no Peepers, most people don't keep a shrine to their boss in their room lmafo, and everything, and I mean EVERYTHING-- all those years and tears and cheers and true hard work and loyalty to getting Hater every star in the universe because Hater DESERVES no less, just comes crashing down on our little commander with an astounding: oh.

[the-meat-machine]

what is your general read of caliborn? like character motivation wise? i love him sosososo much but i think i take a particularly charitable view of his character. like yes he is a hater misogynistic time demon obsessed with gore. but he is also obsessed with art and love <3 personally i think of his primary motivations in the comic as a combination of ambition but more importantly a desire for freedom / the ability to be his own man and to not be threatened or controlled by other people (callie, gamzee, chewing off his leg, etc.) he loves to win but the real prize that comes with winning is the ability to exercise your will on others rather than to have the will of others exercised on you, & i think this interpretation tracks with how he becomes the literal lord of time, which is basically fate in the comic? although it fucks him in the end anyway. idk this is how i think of him and therefore i do kind of think he is just a baby doing his best. like SURE he did galactic crimes. but he was also SAD and TRAPPED. <- no one agrees with me

I don't think my take on him is quite so generous. I think that ultimately, Caliborn's actions are primarily motivated by his drive for destruction.

That said, I agree with you that there's more to him than just wanting to fuck shit up forever. The problem is that I don't think Caliborn knows that. Perhaps he was sad, but if he was, he never realized it. Certainly he was trapped, but most of those traps were, ultimately, of his own devising. And he does value art and love, but not enough to consider straying from his destructive path for even a moment.

Bear with me, because my answer to this ask has basically become a thesis on Caliborn. I'll present it in two sections: one about Caliborn's relationship with fate, and one about his tragic lack of self-awareness.

Freedom and Fate

The thing about Caliborn is that I don't think he really values freedom at all, as a concept. Certainly not others' freedom, but not really his own either. He's all about rules, and he's more than willing to accept restrictions if doing so will get him closer to his goal.

Because if all Caliborn had wanted was freedom, he could have achieved it much more easily by working with Calliope. If they had trusted each other at all, they could have been free of their shackles within a day by simply agreeing that they'd each leave their own shackle off when they slept. If Caliborn had been willing to play the game with Calliope, their joint game session would have been far, far more fun than his nightmare of a solo session was.

Of course, Calliope is perhaps the principle person he wants to be free from. But Calliope isn't really trying to control him — she wants to cooperate with him. (On the other hand, to say that she wants him to cooperate with her is to say that she wants him to become more like her, which is, perhaps, its own sort of destruction of his personality. But let's be honest, Caliborn's personality fucking sucks and everyone, including him, would be way better off if he were more cooperative.)

It's true, though, that Caliborn wants to become not only the master of his own fate, but the master of everyone's fate. And he succeeds! But the way he does it isn't by seeking to change fate — it's by embracing the inevitable. When he sees that something is going to happen in the future — even if it's his own defeat — his instinct isn't to fight it. It's to make himself into the one responsible for it.

(This also indirectly makes Caliborn responsible for his own imprisonment as a child. By the point in the story when the cherubs are born, Gamzee is acting as little more than a manifestation of Caliborn's own will. Everything he does is to ensure Lord English's eventual existence, at Lord English/Caliborn/Lil Cal's behest.)

In the end, Caliborn's will is so tightly interwoven with the alpha timeline that cause and effect become blurry. Is it fate because he wills it, or does he will it because it's fate? To Caliborn, I don't think that's a meaningful question. He believes to the core that what he wills is inevitable, and that if something is inevitable, it must be because he willed it. The two are one and the same to him.

Personally, I would argue that Caliborn is just as bound by fate as anyone else in the comic — maybe even more so — but it's because that's the path he's chosen of his own "free" will. Is that freedom? The freedom to choose not just to embrace inevitability, but to become the inevitable? Perhaps.

Now… could he ever have chosen otherwise? (They say that when you face The Choice, it hardly feels like a choice at all.)

Really, Caliborn is a self-fulfilling time loop. Right from the start, he is exactly what he needs to be to ensure his own predominance.

The Tragedy of Caliborn

So here's the flip side to Caliborn's inevitability.

The tragedy of Caliborn is that what he's determined to get isn't necessarily what's best for him as a person. What he thinks he wants is to fuck shit up, forever and always. This is his goal. This is always his goal. And he succeeds at this goal beyond his wildest imaginings… at the cost of giving up literally everything except for that goal.

Because, yeah, I agree that Caliborn does care about art. He does, deep down, want love and affection. But he'll throw all that away for power, without hesitation. It's really kind of sad.

Lord English is the culmination of everything Caliborn has been working for. He is everything that Caliborn thinks he wants to be. But Lord English doesn't tell stories. Lord English never holds hands with anyone. Lord English is barely even a character. He's a force of nature, the personification of destruction. There's nothing left of Caliborn in him except for raging misogyny and the drive to murder entire universes.

And the worst part is, Caliborn understands himself so little that he never once regrets this. In pursuit of his goal, he gives up everything that makes him him, and he doesn't even notice!

I've said before that, by definition, Caliborn can't question himself — because if he were the sort of person who ever doubted himself, he wouldn't be the sort of person who could become Lord English.

This is the downside of that. Caliborn cannot ever decide "wait, maybe I'd rather spend my life making art and smooching dudes instead of fucking shit up for all eternity?" The idea that he could have been wrong about what he thought he wanted out of life is inconceivable to him.

And, like… I guess getting to destroy shit for all eternity makes Caliborn pretty happy! But… maybe he could have been even more fulfilled some other way?

Caliborn doesn't think so! But there's a hell of a lot Caliborn doesn't understand about himself.

[esther-dot]

According to original outline, both Tyrion and Sansa had dubious loyalty as Sansa choose her Lannister husband and child over starks and Tyrion fell in love with Arya and choosing stark. But in agot Sansa didn't marry joff instead she married Tyrion. Tyrion accepted the marriage and lusting over Sansa prove that he is still Lannister and Sansa rejecting him prove that she is still a stark. Tyrion never ceases to Lannister and never going to be an ally of starks. Sansa is always a stark.

I've never seen someone point this out before!

Children forming themselves in the image of their father or creating their identity opposed to it is such an interesting facet of the story as it exists that I'm totally fascinated it's Tyrion and Sansa who were most impacted by Martin's exploration of that as he developed his characters.

They are their father's children, as much as Ned doesn't know what to do with Sansa, and Tywin hates Tyrion.

In Sansa's case it seems Martin took the least likely child to rise and take her father's place, defying the odds. Tyrion feels a bit more like...he could not escape, no matter how much he hated his family (not Jaime), he was doomed to be a true Lannister.

@une-nuit-pour-se-souvenir has written about how Sansa is "her father Eddard Stark’s true heir both literally and narratively" (link), and that sense of destiny, the pull of her back to the North because she was meant to lead it all along, is a beautiful thing to read.

Also, I'm not going to argue that Martin wouldn't have been critical of outline Sansa (he has said some weird things about book Sansa), but she was married and had kids. What was she supposed to do? It's so strange how he would write a world in which women have so little power and then blame them for it, so I'm very grateful he changed his mind. Wish Sansa haters had never seen it.

Anyway, Sansa's refusal to kneel and her question, "And if I never want you to, my lord?" are such delightful expressions of her defiance, I don't know why the fandom thinks she's useless. There is no recourse for women, let alone prisoners of war forced into marriages against their will, and yet, laying there vulnerable and exposed, she says that. She's brave when she is afraid, nothing Starkier than that.

And of course, to really bring your point home, we have this quote in which Tyrion sees how Sansa remains a Stark even after they are wed and he is still a Lannister:

It was not enough, though. He had wrapped his cloak around her shoulders and sworn to protect her, but that was as cruel a jape as the crown the Freys had placed atop the head of Robb Stark's direwolf after they'd sewn it onto his headless corpse. Sansa knew that as well. The way she looked at him, her stiffness when she climbed into their bed . . . when he was with her, never for an instant could he forget who he was, or what he was. No more than she did. She still went nightly to the godswood to pray, and Tyrion wondered if she were praying for his death. She had lost her home, her place in the world, and everyone she had ever loved or trusted. Winter is coming, warned the Stark words, and truly it had come for them with a vengeance. But it is high summer for House Lannister. So why am I so bloody cold?

(ASOS, Tyrion VII)

We also have all those references to her courtesy being a wall (I’ve been collecting them to write about it sometime) and Tyrion wishing to get around it but he can’t. I’ve mentioned before how it’s fitting that Sansa, who bled for the North’s freedom as a prisoner in KL, would secure the North’s freedom, but I forget how Sansa’s refusal to have sex with Tyrion, her refusal to let him in, isn’t cruel, isn’t just about sex, it’s a decision that is protecting the North. I know the fandom likes to use Tyrion’s decision to not rape her as a sign of his virtue, but Sansa builds a wall to protect herself, and with it, Winterfell. A shame that’s not appreciated more. 

Also, that last line feels like another one to plunk on the “Tyrion has it coming” scale. Fingers crossed!

[danydragons21]

So Lucien knows that Elain hates the bond. Do you think that he has any hope that she might one day accept it? Or do you think that deep down he knows that she’ll end up rejecting it?

I'm assuming this question is for TSTS...but I'll answer it in terms of both the fic and canon!

I think Lucien has always known that Elain hates the bond. She certainly hasn't made any effort to hide her disinterest in pursuing a relationship with him (in canon), and even in TSTS she has never shown any inclination of accepting the bond.

However, while she hasn't shown a desire to accept the bond, she's also never outright stated that she plans to reject it. This holds true for both canon and TSTS. Sure, she's expressed her resentment of being paired with another Fae who she does not even know, especially since it contributed to the destruction of her engagement, but she has never explicitly said, "I reject the bond." I think this is where a lot of Elain haters get their fuel from, because it's "unfair" and "mean" of Elain to be "stringing along" a man she has no plans to end up with. I could write a whole separate post on the misogynistic undertones of holding such an opinion, but I digress.

But Elain and Lucien's relationship is so much more complex than that. Oftentimes people forget to take into account that Lucien was born and raised as Fae, and he has always believed that to be mated means that those two beings are meant to be together, absolutely and unconditionally.

In my opinion, which is highly based on canon details and inferences, Lucien resents the bond just as much, but in a different way. Lucien feels obligated to pursue the bond, since it is all he knows - it is a sacred part of Fae culture, and who is he to question it? ACOSF made it obvious that he has feelings for Vassa, but Lucien's upbringing makes him feel like he has to pursue a relationship with our favorite delicate fawn gurl.

Elain, on the other hand, has no such ties to the idea of mates. Not to mention her trauma from the Cauldron which - guess what - is the very thing that gave her a mate in the first place.

Additionally, we as readers know that to be fated mates does not mean the two beings are perfect for each other, or even love each other. Rhysand's parents were mates, and his dad was a dick. Lucien's mom and Beron are mates, and we all know Beron is the ultimate dick, and that the Lady of the Autumn Court secretly loves Daddy Helion. So being mates does not equal a happy and healthy relationship. Of course, Lucien doesn't know this shit, so he has no reference to go off of to make him think, hmmm, maybe being mates doesn't necessarily mean we are soulmates. Will this change when he (inevitably) finds out that Helion is his true father, and that his mother has always loved him instead of Beron? I sure fucking hope so.

Sorry for the rambling - but to succinctly answer your question - I don't think either Lucien or Elain have any fucking idea what they want to do about the bond, and I don't think they've communicated well enough at all to know what the other person truly wants, either. I think, in their heart of hearts, they both know that they don't belong together, but with external pressures and respective internal struggles and the heavy expectation to accept the bond, they just haven't been able to express these feelings to each other.

I will be exploring alllll of this in TSTS, and I know our lord and savior SJM will certainly cover all of this in the next ACOTAR book as well - whenever that may be...

TY for the ask, this was so fun to answer 😊

[jlf23tumble]

If you don't mind me asking, what fic (1D-related) are you reading lately?

I never mind anyone asking! I’m not currently mid-fic, but these are the ones that I read in the last couple of weeks that were pretty damned amazing, they’re all brand new!

love that freak from internet, by jaerie, louis/harry, E, 2k. Louis sticks around to catch up and eventually Harry starts to feel that heavy ache. Louis hangs around to watch but, of course, it doesn't end there. (this was a gift to me on every level but physical, my GOD, I didn’t expect a sequel to freaks from the internet, but  holy SHIT, she did it again)

never boring, by jaerie, louis/harry, E, 2.3k. It's their first time out since their new baby was born and it doesn't quite work out... or does it? (my lord and savior jaerie really did That, where That is crank out three AMAZING lactation kink fics in three days)

i’m not that other guy, by jaerie, louis/harry, E, 3.6k. Harry has just come back from maternity leave when he unexpectedly goes into heat. He runs into a coworker on his way out. (yeah, boiiiiiiiii, I hope to god even MORE lactation kink is in store for us all in the month ahead)

Sank into Your Dreams, by silvered_glass, mitch/harry, E, 3.9k. What if Harry and Mitch had met before Ryan pulled him into the studio that day. (WHAT IF!!!!)

Always and Furr-ever, by @dimpled-halo, louis/harry, E, 4.2k. Harry runs his fingers over the items, things he and Louis have collected throughout the years they’ve been together. It feels like just yesterday that Louis had got him his cat ears, collar, and tail. He’d felt so cared for, so loved. He still does. (another one I didn’t think we’d be blessed to see a sequel to, there isn’t enough petplay fic, and allegedly, people “make fun of me” for this opinion, but you know what? fuck them, this is poetry)

Silver White Winters, by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, louis/harry, M, 5k.  In which Louis catches a cloud and pins it down. (if ao3 would let me make an angry response to the hater in the comments here, I WOULD, this one made me sob, it’s so beautiful, Phoenix’s writing is a gift this fandom clearly doesn’t deserve...this fic ONLY deserves glowing praise, like, I’m sorry it’s so hard for transphobes to picture Harry as Maria)

Paint My Body Gold, by @littlelouishiccups, louis/harry, E, 5.3k. “Do you remember what you said that one time back when we met? About marking your territory?” Louis raised his eyebrows and stared at him, sure Harry couldn’t actually mean what he thought he meant. They’d joked about it a few times early on in their relationship, because Harry liked the idea of being claimed, but then Louis got Harry both a play collar and a day collar, and that was enough to settle him. Until now apparently. (wanna know the very coolest thing about fanfic? authors might hear your plea for more of a certain story and not only provide it, but give you EXTRA helpings of everything your heart desires, god fucking BLESS)

Wolves series, by @rosemarianthyme, louis/harry, E, 6.9k.  Harry loved being Louis’ baby, his good boy, but sometimes he wanted more. He wanted to be his omega. (a/b/o roleplay? this hot, in this economy? SIGN MY ASS UP, I love that this author’s two fics so far are *these* two fics so far, I’m in love!!)

Second Spring, by @vondrostes, louis/harry, E, 16k (wip, but it’s done...just being posted). Two years into their relationship, Louis and Harry encounter a new beginning. (I know I’ve talked about this fic a lot, but it’s SO FUCKING GOOD, there are so many themes and situations explored, it reads so visceral, I wanna hug Second Spring Harry so tenderly, transphobes DO NOT INTERACT)

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tommy

Ali: TOM BOMB Ali: you will never guess what Tommy: you're adopted? CALLED IT Tommy: too fabulous for those heathens Ali: way to make my actual news look less 😏 Ali: isn't don't oversell it like rule #1 Ali: [sends cast list so its all official] Tommy: darling, breaking every rule is rule #1 Tommy: you ain't that adopted Tommy: OH MY SWEET LORD! YOU BETTER NOT BE TROLLING ME ALISON Tommy: I know your genius extends to photoshop pro but you mustn't use it for such evil Ali: who would I really be hurting with that troll, huh Ali: no one but myself Ali: but if its good enough for Queen Meryl 😁😁😁 Tommy: Preach it sister Ali: I'm so fucking excited I could burst Tommy: Meanwhile my school is putting Fanny and Alexander Tommy: like that Ingmar Bergman fever dream can or should be adapted for the stage Tommy: Jesus Christ Ali: we LOVE child abuse for a fun family night out Ali: guess the parentals like to be shown their money is being spent SERIOUSLY on SERIOUS theatré Tommy: The guardian voted it 8th best arthouse film OF ALL TIME therefore it must be worthy Tommy: I will not hesitate to put on a wig and replace you, Kit Tommy: before I do, 1 question Tommy: WHY AND HOW THE FUCK IS MEENA'S BROTHER NOT PLAYING THE SWEDISH LOTHARIO?!! Tommy: what is your casting director 🚬? Ali: I dread to think what 9 and 10 were 😏 Ali: must put them on my not-to-watch list Ali: 😂 Ro literally called it, we all know, I will uninvite you if you even THINK of upstaging me 😉 Ali: IKR its so funny Ali: maybe he thought he was being subversive casting a black guy Ali: but then I wouldn't have my role if that was his jam so 🤷 go off Tommy: Yeah HARD same 🙄😴 Tommy: you can try but I've sent a congrats text to Carls and she'll re-invite me Tommy: if he was the baby daddy the whole island would know but alright, like Ali: also true Ali: 😂 SERIOUSLY Ali: like hmm, I wonder where this white blonde blue eyed baby came from Ali: when you get diverse with your casting and the plot falls apart 😏 god bless, they're trying Tommy: that's WHY he cast Drew, he's being very catholic and trying to marry you off to the right man at the end Tommy: Sir you can't be deciding he's the daddy like that, how dare you! Ali: and that's WHY he cast me as Donna Ali: knows our ma won't flip out on the implication her daughter hoe'd around all summer and has no idea who fathered her child Ali: the subtle shade of it all Tommy: 😂 Tommy: I can't wait to see her go full Molly Weasley when she realises the plot of the thing Tommy: my Alison COULD NEVER you wanker! Tommy: would never 'cause you'd be in chains 😏 Ali: that's the other possibility, he hasn't clocked I'm GayLite and he thinks the idea I'm knocked up is right jokes Ali: Ma wishes 🤞🤞🤞 Tommy: Or he's calling out his biphobia and everyone who is as a HUGE whore Tommy: that's awkward Ali: when you don't prove the haters wrong 😬 Ali: whoops Tommy: When's opening night? I gotta see this Ali: duh, I've already begged on your behalf Ali: [the date] Tommy: I'm so ready for my handbags at dawn moment with Robbie Tommy: always a pleasure Tommy: unlike witnessing Drew outdoing Pierce Brosnan as the hottie who can't hold a note and DYING on stage Ali: I'll hold your earrings, babe Ali: if he can wait for the show to be over Ali: and don't be mean 🤫 Ali: he...needs some work Ali: but I'm willing to be like your worst teacher on speed about it, have him west end ready in, however many weeks they're giving us Tommy: Cheers, 'course I was born ready whenever he wants to go though 🥊🩰 Tommy: You know I'm here if you need me, fairy gaybrother and all Tommy: he will go to the (disco) ball! Ali: I'll let him know as much 😏 Ali: 💚 Ali: Luckily the choreo is simple, so he's got that down Ali: and how hard is it to pretend you're in love with me, honestly Ali: the singing though Tommy: how many songs does he have? Are they staying movie true? Ali: WELL, the tea is we've already cut a me him duet flashback to a solo for moi, but he HAS to do SOS to drive the plot, then its minimal lines on Our Last Summer, which Robbie is THRILLED about obvs, but he also HAS to do When All Is Said And Done, though maybe I can convince the director that'd work better as a toast moment legit, sans singing Tommy: Fucking hell Tommy: yeah unless there's somebody he could mime for Tommy: or a girl they could drag up to resemble him for the musical numbers Ali: REALLY go in and make it obvious who the dad is 😂 Ali: comes to something when the only viable option is the out out gay kid Tommy: SOS is gonna be brutal but I reckon you're onto something cutting the last number down Tommy: by then the audience will either be LIVING for you or DYING over him and we all know how the drama dept would rather it Tommy: arts funding is already in the bog, like Ali: Truly... fuck it, if we don't get it then instead of taking turns at a verse each we'll do it together and I will belt the fuck out of it Ali: you don't have to tell me, the wardrobe is abhorrent Ali: but we're already on that, even if I have to dress the entire cast myself Tommy: Christ alive, I will come home early and help you save the show, bags full of stolen props and costumes Tommy: Sorry not sorry, mother Ali: Oh LORDT, what even is the costuming for fucking Ali: fanny and whathisface Ali: I bet you are LIVING Tommy: Everyone here has now said fuck it and we're sorting out watching Mamma Mia Tommy: the girls and gays are 💔😭 Tommy: Straight Simon alone is unaffected Tommy: SEND HELP ALL MY MATES ARE ASKING IF DREW'S TOO WHITE TO TURN SOS INTO A RAP 😂 Ali: that boy is an enigma Ali: do not encourage him PLEASE 😭😭😭 Ali: all for mixing it up but if I have to look 💔 at a boy rapping about what happened to our love...nah Ali: even Meryl couldn't Tommy: Quick, dish on the rest of your all star cast, that'll 100% work in amusing them Tommy: any room to judge and they don't give a fuck about a single thing else Ali: Oh well, let's see Tommy: I'm the proudest of my sweet baby Carls and know she'll be grand, but the people are restless and thirsty for that hot tea Ali: Rosie's a sweetie, she jams with us on the drums every now and then, so you'd recognize her face not her name, she's gonna be so funny, perf for that role so I can't slag on her, I'm afraid darlings Ali: right?! MY BABY 💕 Ali: we did our auditions in groups of about 3 so it was just me, her and Cavante, she killed it forreal Tommy: Yeah? I do remember her! She comments on many o' Meena posts and you can hear the 🍀 Tommy: I'm gonna call her later, Carls that is, not your drummer Ali: I'm DYING for her to give the brummie a go, if that's as hilariously bad as we're all imagining, I'll send that to quench your mates thirst 🍵 Tommy: You're a star on so many levels Ali: 🥰 Ali: Who else DON'T you know? 🤔 Ali: the girls playing Meena's friends, me either Ali: they're her year though Ali: one of them has the good=loud vibe so I wouldn't be surprised if she went to one of your theatre groups as a kid Tommy: The lad in her year too? I dunno him Ali: Yes, which is rude Ali: he's got hot over the summer clearly 'cos like, HELLO? Ali: he's decent though, fair craic Tommy: Every show needs a dark horse Ali: they're cute Ali: some of his friends, esp. the one Carls has to seduce are 😬 Ali: thank God she's talented Tommy: at least some fuckers'll have chemistry Tommy: you'll be full Meryl-ing to convince ANYONE that Drew's the love of your life Tommy: and Carly would never waste a second on a younger lad Ali: at least I get to be fuming at him most the time Ali: lying cheating bastard 😏 Tommy: 👀🔪 Tommy: I'm well jealous Ali: I know, babes, I know Tommy: less gutted now this sing-a-long is kicking off Tommy: you wanna be facetimed in? Ali: um YES Ali: counts as a rehearsal Tommy: [does call her so she can join]

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: UM okay Nancy: You've succeeded in making me speechless so what do you wanna say Rio: Usually I'd take that as a compliment Rio: I didn't know how to say it without sounding like a total self-absorbed bitch Rio: 'cos all you went through at yours and everything but Rio: I just can't do it anymore, Nance Nancy: Wow, that makes ME sound like a total self-absorbed bitch Nancy: but I get it, of course I do Rio: Ugh, no, so not how I meant that Rio: not like you were giving out 'do not talk about this' vibes, it was just me pussying out, lbr Rio: but you do? thank God Nancy: I kind of always give out those vibes lbr & I kind of am a self-absorbed bitch so like ?? Rio: If you wanna own that then I will say we've talked about you way more than me already so Rio: go off Nancy: Ugh Nancy: I have to own it 👑 Rio: Works for me, babe Rio: regardless of how self-obsessed my socials have me looking, I'm not my favourite topic of conversation Rio: never mind I'm sort of avoiding my parents rn so Nancy: Me either but everyone wants me to talk about it Nancy: all like who are you? or worse, how are you? Rio: Reckon 'what are you gonna do with your life?' trumps 'em both though Nancy: oh, I get that too honey, every time my parents call me Nancy: Sorry I'm not in America being your poster child for success Rio: You're doing it again 😏 Rio: Ah well, I got plans Rio: School ain't necessary for them Nancy: What can I say? He brings out the worst in me Nancy: so what are you gonna do besides leave me 💔? Rio: Awh, don't 😖 Rio: I've got lots of plans, not gonna jinx 'em before I've even started but trust Rio: I can go full-time at the bar I was doing weekends in so that's a start Nancy: is one of them make June let me copy his homework now I won't have yours 'cause I'll cry if not Nancy: but seriously, I believe in you with or without an insta post power move Rio: but of course Rio: you'll be well better off for it Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Nancy: I reckon I still hate this for me but I love it for you Rio: You're gonna be better than fine Rio: I ain't dying Nancy: everyone needs that to be true so I'll have to Nancy: You'll be thriving who needs essays or irish in their future, good lord Rio: I mean Rio: not to rub it in but Rio: 🙌💃🍾🎊 Nancy: 😭🏫😢🎒🍀💔 Rio: 😂 Rio: At least none of the kids should care too much Rio: end of the world when I moved in with Indie, as if I'm never coming back, or don't live like 5 minutes away 🙄 Nancy: Granddad will be so happy that you're following in his 👣 though you might get that party actually Nancy: You're already his fave Rio: Nancy McKenna, are you actually ASKING for a party right now? Rio: Oh my God, now we HAVE to have one, haters be damned Nancy: We aren't talking about me so shhh Nancy: But you literally have to Nancy: 🧡🧡🧡 Rio: Alright Rio: sexy schoolgirl uniform NOT optional though Rio: not sorry Nancy: It's your party you can objectify me if you want to Nancy: I still have my posh one so Rio: 😏👌 Rio: top totty babe Nancy: I'll make it fashion Nancy: We can burn it after, pretend like I don't have another to go back to Rio: Yeah, we'll stop before burning the books Rio: even if it'd be very cathartic Nancy: Just the 🍀 ones Nancy: Pretty please Rio: No one's expecting you to pass, like Rio: even your 'rents no doubt Rio: literally zero pressure on that one Nancy: my dad is, he thinks it's hilarious Rio: Only got the complexion, like Nancy: the men in our little section of the family are such pricks Nancy: 🙄 Rio: Like that you specified, just in case Junie reads these and is like fuck yo homework Nancy: he's a babe Nancy: even when he's being unhelpful Nancy: which is mostly but that's men for you, like Rio: 😂😂 Rio: ain't gonna put him in charge of party-planning, let's put it that way Nancy: I'll do it Rio: Really? Nancy: I know HOW okay?! I just don't Nancy: usually Rio: Okay, okay! Rio: I don't doubt you Rio: go ahead Nancy: You shouldn't 'cause sexy schoolgirls is my entire coming out so the theme is easy Nancy: Gay origin story Rio: Such a perv, McKenna 😉 Nancy: I was like 12 what else would you have liked me to perv on at the time? Rio: Schlebs and porn like everyone else Rio: duh Nancy: Duh, I'd done that already Nancy: I've been gay since 👶 Rio: not on the 💻 though, I hope Nancy: 😏 Rio: Like I said, filth Nancy: didn't realise moving here meant I had to become a nun by default Nancy: awkward Rio: Someone shoulda told you Rio: churches run this country, babe Nancy: If god was a hot older lady I'd consider devoting myself 😍🙏 but Nancy: worship a man, no thanks Rio: He's not a man, heathen Nancy: depicted like one though WHAT A SURPRISE Rio: Well Jesus was defs not a ginger either so - 1  for you Nancy: Did he look like a beautiful woman or is that just art being 🌈 ? Rio: You've got the weirdest taste Nancy: excuse me I didn't 🎨 it Rio: You're into it Nancy: I've just noticed Rio: Mhmm Nancy: I've been single forever, fight me Rio: That's no excuse to sexualize our lord and saviour Rio: behave yourself Nancy: He isn't mine, that was the point Rio: He's the worlds Nancy: not my world, babe Rio: 🙄 Nancy: when are you working 'cause this party needs to be ASAP Rio: tonight Rio: but I'm working the day sunday so maybe we could do something in the evening? Nancy: Okay Nancy: I'll get it all arranged Rio: 🤞 I don't get murdered before then Rio: but I'm sure the fam will keep you posted Nancy: I'll hear your mum from here Nancy: but you're a babe with a plan, yeah? Rio: Obvs Rio: soz I ain't a babe with a genius IQ, like Rio: what can you do Nancy: Me either but if I can convince my parents, who are WAY scarier that I have to move you can definitely reassure yours you don't need exams Rio: Alright, bitch, it ain't a competition 😉 Rio: Wish me 🍀 Nancy: Doesn't mean you should let me win really easily Nancy: Or that you need luck for this Nancy: Just tell them what you told me, minus the part about my perversions and bad taste, thank you Rio: But I feel that will really soften the blow, like Rio: Yeah, I'm a dropout but Nancy is a MASSIVE creep, so, win some you lose some lads Nancy: 😂 okay okay you can out me Nancy: But genuinely you just need to prove it to them Nancy: Let them see you working for what you want, making it happen, you know Nancy: they'll worry anyway, its the parental standard Nancy: but they'll see where you're coming from too 🤞 eventually Nancy: or they won't and you get to be like look how wrong you are Nancy: either way  🙌💃🍾🎊 Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Rio: Yeah, you're right Rio: it's happening regardless so they'll have to get used to it Nancy: Gay culture Rio: 😂 Rio: Right, I've got to go get ready Rio: plan my party, bitch Nancy: I've already begun, bitch Nancy: I approve of the enthusiasm Rio: I'd call it keen Rio: 😘 Nancy: We've both been called worse 😚 Nancy: and you should be pleased I'm getting into the spirit Rio: You've read the comments? 😏 Nancy: Have you seen how many there are? I don't have time Nancy: No need though, I can guess Rio: 😂 Rio: Fair, it's more like a 70-30 split in my favour so Rio: not bad Nancy: Keep me posted Rio: 👍

[punkscowardschampions]

Band? Band.

Starring Ali, Caleb, Marlene, Ro, Drew and Meena

Ali: Okay, you band of misfits (spoilers), I've gathered you all here today to proposition each and every one of you Ali: Don't get too excited, but do, 'cos enthusiasm trumps talent which you all have in droves (sufficiently buttered? yeah? nah?) Ali: I think we should all jam Ali: Make something happen Ali: Who's in? Caleb: I'm feeling it Ali: ✊ Marlene: I'm busy with pussy worship Marlene: you two don't need me to make sweet music Ali: Not what I've heard on the grapevine or your statuses Lene Ali: We do, we do! You're the best bassist I know, not even a cop-out, I got the connections you know Ali: Think of it as practice for your real band if it makes you feel less guilty PLEASEEEEEEEEEE, full puppy dog eyes Marlene: sometimes the socials are the last to know. Don't have to tell you that Marlene: Those baby blues don't work on me I'm immune now Ali: Impossible! You, and that claim, gah! Well never mind then, offers still there for when you remember just how blue my eyes is/you are without me Marlene: ⛔🖕 Marlene: I'll take the credit when you write a song about it. No more Ro: I'm not really sure what I can bring to the table but say no more, anything you need, it's a given. Ali: You'll get groupie infamy and nothing more, deal with that injustice, Marianne had to FIGHT for those co-writer creds sweetie 💋 Ali: You're bringing those piano playing fingers of fury, duh! You and Meena could do AMAZING duets, I practically insist, my ears and 💚 needs the beauty Meena: I'm up for that! Sounds deadly! 😊 I'm nowhere near as skilled as Ro but I'm a willing pupil and know how to let someone else lead 😛 Ro: Well, if you insist, how can I refuse? Especially in the wake of Meena's enthusiasm (not to mention misplaced flattery) too Caleb: While we on the vibe of sick duets I've got some shit written Caleb: don't mind throwing it out for a practice sesh Ali: I bow at all your feet and throw ��s too Ali: Yay! Ali: We'll need that 'cos I'm not overly confident on anything I've got squirreled yet, need as many voices, lyrics and vibes as possible Ali: Speaking of, not added my brother but he'd be able to help when he's about, making sure its danceable and whatnot 'cos what is the point of a song you can't get down to, yeah? Ali: And Drew? Drew: If I get to spend more time with my little sis and you guys then of course Drew: Don't know what you'd want from me but I can suggest the perfect place to jam, as Caleb hasn't got in there fast enough (soz bro) Drew: The barn at ours would be perfect, no complaints and a big place that'd be easy to get right with the...acoustics? and stuff Caleb: ayyy my bad! My boy come thru tho Caleb: the barn'll be sweet Caleb: keep us fed too 👌 Ro: Such a good idea, Drew! As excited as I am I'd still rather not carry a keyboard everywhere Ro: Piano even less so, of course Drew: I'd like to say I got you but 💪 got my limits, sadly 😞 so much for being a gent Meena: Ugh, Drew, you dork! Going to make everyone feel sick 😂 Ro: It's sweet and I really appreciate the sentiment even if it can't be carried out. You have your moments of being a gentleman regardless Caleb: 😂😂 when we getting together then? Drew: 😌 you must inspire it in me Ali: Omg you've gotta secure Gus, babe! For the food and the tunes Ali: That would be sick, that said...what's everyone up to this weekend? Caleb: No drama 👍 Not a big ask he'll be living for this  ✌ Caleb: I can make Sunday work after ⛪ Ro: If we're saying afternoon that works for me too, the piano lessons I'm giving will be over with well before then Ali: I know, he loves me and this is all one big ploy to hang with him more and really cement that love tbh, soz lads Ali: I can do Sunday, its not gonna be so hardcore that the lord will be a hater 🙏👐 Meena: Hehe, what's more chill than a jam sesh? Lets do this 🤗 Caleb: He'll be vibing 👏 loves it when we raise the roof hitting those choir notes Drew: 👍 Ali: Hardly a choir boy, either of yous 😉 but ready to be impressed by your range 😏 Caleb: Don't be spreading that, tica, barn accoustics do be on point and my ma don't need to be catching on to that rep. Her boy be 👼 😇 don't trip Ali: 🤐 Secrets safe with me 🖖 scout's honour Caleb: 🙌 Drew: You guys are precious Ro: Agreed Meena: 💕 Caleb: 😂 Caleb: I got some cousins who'd be down for this, do I get them over or see how sunday be? Ali: The more the merrier as far as I'm concerned, if they're gonna need more to convince them than we'll have by then, tis your call baby Ali: Carry on the celebrating from Church, like Caleb: They'll be feeling it as things stand Caleb: It's chill Ali: Then come thru Cavantes Caleb: 🎊 Ro: We've got 2 music stands, I'm happy to bring them if someone is willing to help me fetch and carry Ali: Yes, you will need that help 'cos Mother would lose her shit if we came thru empty handed so I will have food stuffs to win the fam round Drew: I can help 😊 maybe we can do a coffee run beforehand Ro? Ro: Thanks so much Drew. That'd be great if you're sure you don't mind. I'll do some baking as well because Ali makes an excellent point and there'll be plenty of time whilst I'm babysitting Saturday night Caleb: Now we cooking fam! 👏 This is gonna be something I feel it Meena: Fun, fun! Not to be the creepy understudy that is seemingly trying to BECOME you but do you want any kid wrangling help, Ro? 'Cos It'd be time for us to get on the 'level' and just shameless catch up over fairycakes 😋 Drew: Its a date 💘 Ali: Yes, you see my vision peeps 🔮 Ro: I can't deny that instant appeal, but I do have to warn you Meena it's the Turners and their much awaited (by them at least) forth child has arrived! Hopefully that won't put you off entirely though because I'd honestly love that Meena Meena: 🙊 Ooh er! Bless them, not my faves but a baby is still a baby and babies are cute! Meena: Not the only one who can secure a date, Drew 😉 hehe Drew: 😳😝 Ali: Enough shameless flirting everyone, Lene will charge me for her wasted time lurking 😉 We know the plan, and I'll give you the addy should you decide you wanna find us, babe Ali: 💚💚💚 love y'all Meena: TTFN, see everyone Sunday, if not before! 💗 Drew: ✌ looking forward to it Ro: Me too. Slán go fóill! Caleb: Big love 💛 The hype is real ✌