#“Oh no I am faced with a big aggressive hairy thing let me just check what it is!” *sound of pages turning*

[fuckwhoeverpickedallthefunnyurls]

Name five thing you will take with you in a zombie outbreak

A fucking gun (No actually an axe bc a gun would need munition)

An encyclopedia of all existing plants and animals in my region

All my plushies (if I put them into one big bag they count as one right??)

A medical kit

A pen ok all poetry aside I‘m taking one of those flip mirror thingies because I could use it for multiple things

[blockedmite]

A Warm Surprise | Abby Anderson x Reader

You go on a camping trip that ends with meeting Abby.

Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader

AN: So..

This is the Abby Anderson Lumberjack fic that I've been working on. This is my first ever fic. I have never truly written anything like this before and definitely not to this extent. But this fic in particular is one that I just had to write. I couldn’t  live with the fact that Lumberjack Abby didn’t exist so, I set out to write it. I have never been so involved in a fandom like this before. Abby Anderson really does make me loss my mind, body, and soul every time I see her. She's the exact reason why I never want to say I have hobbies, I just have current obsessions. lol. 

But anyways, back to the fic. It's about you and Abby, not me. lol. So this fic is a Modern AU! with Abby as a lumberjack and a Fem!Reader. This is chapter 1 of 10. It’s also just shy of 2k words. 

Warnings:

cursing

slight angst

This fic is dedicated to @kittycat-beans. She is a an amazing writer and has been the massive inspiration to write. She is a truly sweet and beautiful person that everyone should have in their life and I am glad to have met her. This fic is also in honor of @shadowcrow. They are a amazing friend and they have helped and supported me as hard as they could when making this one chapter. They truly have my back all the way and I can count on them at any time. They are also an amazing writer as well. They are the friend that everyone deserves and I am glad to have her. 

A Warm Surprise

Chapter 1: Camping Trip Gone Wrong

Bearberry Lake in Seattle was the most perfect, beautiful place in the world. Amazing flora and fauna, nice weather, plenty of land to explore, and its magnum opus: a huge and breathtaking lake in the shape of a bear. It truly felt like a place built only for you.

And to top it all off, it was going to happen during your favorite season of the year: winter. The beauty of starting a warm fire with a hot cup of chocolate made your heart flutter, and coupled with waking up to freshly fallen snow while it crushed lovingly under your boot could cause you to flat line.

You also had the added benefit of not having to face any of the more big, hairy and scary animals in your winter wonderland; they were all too busy hibernating or trying not to freeze to death like you.

You had planned for this trip for a long time and it was finally here. After nearly a year of unexpected events and financial troubles you were able to save up enough money to go on a 10-day trip.

10 days!

You could just barely believe it. Ten whole days of a peaceful bliss. Ten whole days in the best place on Earth. Ten whole days in your own winter world.

Everything was planned and laid out perfectly.

It sounded cheesy, but you were seriously sure nothing could go wrong.

Right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well, this sure as hell wasn’t on the brochure.” You thought as you almost clung to the small camping heater.

“Fuck Seattle.” You thought even more aggressively. ”Bearberry Lake ‘the most beautiful place on Earth’. Yeah right, kiss my frozen-over ass.” But deep down you knew you couldn’t blame Bearberry Lake, you couldn’t blame Seattle, hell, you couldn’t even blame Seattle weather. You could only blame yourself. You convinced yourself you were going to live in some Disney winter wonderland for 10 days in the middle of the woods.

You were the one to run out here with little to no camping experience. You were the one that came out here without checking the damn weather. 

But truly, how could you have known? You were just so sick and tired of your life back in Jackson that you had to run away. You wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. There was nothing there for you. It was so empty back there that 10 days in the woods was actually really exciting.

But for now, fuck Bearberry Lake, fuck Seattle, and fuck Seattle weather. 

However, all your “fucking” of the general area around you was getting hit with a cold and harsh reality. Both figuratively and literally. It was COLD. Like really fucking cold. This entire time you were inching closer and closer to your little camping heater and you couldn’t feel a thing. You were sure at this point you could French kiss the damn thing and barely burn your lip. Plus your body was going full overdrive to try and keep you warm.

You suddenly became very aware of your arms and legs shaking like crazy, barely able to hold your fingers still. Your teeth were chattering together like a cartoon and your 2 layers of clothes were doing nothing to stop the cold. Your tent was shaking as badly as you were and your sleeping bag was a no-go at this point.

Your hearing decided to kick back in and you were immediately blasted with the screaming wind and to be perfectly honest, you wanted to scream with it. It was quickly becoming apparent that this was not a below-average day. This was something much, much worse.

“Dear God, this is a fucking blizzard.”

As that terrible thought rushed to the front of your mind, you rushed to the front of your tent. You tried doing a low running stance but your numb legs gave out on you. You were forced to crawl to the front and unzip the tent. You reached out your hand, struggling to grab hold of the little flapping zipper. This small action took a lot of energy out of you. You had to hold yourself up with one hand while keeping yourself still enough to catch a tiny zipper. You finally caught it. Ripping the zipper down, you were immediately greeted with a blast of cold, heart-stopping air.

You actually threw yourself backward towards your cold camping heater in the hope that’ll actually do it’s one job. Even though you were literally holding onto the heater for dear life, you could just barely feel any heat. It wasn’t made any better due to the wind blasting into your tent. Any amount of heat that was being generated was kindly being sweeped away. 

As you looked down and over yourself towards the now open front of the tent, you could see outside. White. Nothing but pure white snow. Both falling and on the ground. The falling snow was coming at an angle so steep that it was almost sideways. The snow on the ground was about one or two inches higher than it was before. Even the floor of your tent was covered in a small, thin layer of snow for the few seconds that it’s been open. You looked back outside to try and see…..something out there. You looked really hard passed the falling snow and could just barely see the treeline opposite of you. Then it hit you. That treeline was only a few feet away from you. You were stuck in the middle of a blizzard with no heat and could barely see.

“I have to get out of here!” You thought suddenly. “I can NOT stay here! I am going to die!”

You could barely process the thought before your fight or flight senses caused you to sit up suddenly. You frantically looked around for something to take with you.

“Heater? Hell no! Sleeping bag? Maybe. Blanket. Yeah. My bag? My bag!”

You grabbed your bag and opened it. It was mostly empty. You had packed little for your trip, believing there was only going to be light snowfall. There was just random, useless camping equipment and your phone. You grabbed your phone out of habit and frantically looked back at the open front of your tent. The cold wind bit at your face but that didn’t stop you from noticing that the once thin layer of snow was now a small mound. You had to get out of there.

Now.

You shoved your phone in your jacket pocket and grabbed the blanket and sleeping bag. You rushed out of the tent but immediately fell to the ground. It was your damn legs again. They still hadn’t regained their feeling yet. Now you were half way stuck in and out the tent. Your top half was getting eaten by the cold, harsh wind. Snow and ice were sticking to your face while your hands were buried in the snow, holding you up. Your lower half was no warmer but your legs were starting to get that familiar “pins-and-needles” feeling in them. 

But you couldn't let that stop you. 

You pushed yourself up and painfully got on one leg. The wind was now hitting square on the front part of your body, sending a shiver down your spine. You pushed yourself up further onto both legs. They were met with pain and the cold wind as you now stood outside of the tent. Completely exposed to the cold. 

“Oh…..my…..g..god.” You said through clattering teeth. “It’s…..it’s…..so...cold.”

You stood there, shivering like your life depended on it. Well, that’s because it did. If a tent and a heater couldn’t keep you warm then standing out here was basically a death wish. You had to get going.

You reached down and grabbed your blanket and wrapped it around you. It did nothing to stop the cold but it was better than nothing. Next, you reached for your sleeping bag. You thought about unzipping it and wrapping it around you like the blanket but it was far too heavy. You didn’t want anything slowing you down, so you just dropped it and left. 

You started to walk off into the white. Wrapped in nothing more than a blanket and willpower. Every step was a little painful as your legs adjusted to movement again. Hard pieces of fast falling snow were striking you in the face and your visibility was low. The wind pushed on your body more and more the further you got away from your tent. At every step it threatened to make your weak legs fall or slip. You knew you couldn’t fall because if you did, you wouldn’t get back up. 

With every unnerving step, your legs got a little stronger. You didn’t know if it was just them adjusting to movement again or adrenaline, but you weren’t complaining. You had to get back to the….get back to…get back….

“Where the hell am I going?!?!” You thought frantically. “Where am I going? Where am I? Where can I go?”

You had just walked out of the tent without thinking of where to go. You looked around but all you could see was white. Any identifying markers around the area were nowhere to be found. You stopped in your tracks and tried to think. You couldn’t spare wasting time running around mindlessly in a blizzard. 

Then, you realized that you had your phone. You reached into your pocket, finding it to be no warmer than the outside, and pulled out your phone. You turned it on and looked at the screen. You saw that the time was slightly after noon. Your eyes darted to the Wi-Fi indicator. NO SERVICE, it read. Out of habit, you also looked at the battery power. 5%. Five. Fucking. Percent.

“FUCK!” you thought. “Great. Just fucking great.”

Now, not only were you stuck in the middle of a blizzard but you were now stuck in the middle of a blizzard with no way to call for help or any sort of guide. You just had to rely on memory to help you out of this situation.

You thought of places to go. You thought about your tent first, but that was thrown out for obvious reasons. You then thought about the camping lodge you saw, but it was too far away. You remembered being able to drive your car up to your desired camping grounds but it was a bit of a hike and took some exploring to find your spot. You also remember seeing some log cabins while driving but you weren’t sure if anyone was there or if you were willing to break into one. But it was still an option. Your car was your best bet. It was going to have to do for now. You had to get to some sort of shelter and fast. 

The wind hadn’t let up one bit and you were much colder now. You turned and pushed your feet through the thick snow. Relying on your memory and directional instinct to lead your way. Your legs were slightly better but they still needed some work. Your visibility seemed to be getting worse. You keep tracking towards the direction of your car and hopefully some sort of shelter in between. 

“I gotta keep going. I gotta keep going.” You thought. “I gotta keep going. I can’t die here.”

“I won’t.”

[wizardsnwookies]

Campaign Diary- FOC100517

The “Lady Luck” shifted almost imperceptibly as it dropped from hyperspace, and it wasn’t long after Lady Kara walked into the common room with a datapad and slumped lazily on the couch. In the corner Vrssl stood on a small crate, his hands buried in wire and circuitry of an clone wars era battle droid. He had been working on the two they had pulled from the cave since they left Siskeen, and were just about operational. Next to her Graalbar gave her a the briefest of glances before returning his attention to his Holochess match against the computer. And from the cockpit she could hear Rugor getting to know the ins and outs of their new ship.

“I can’t believe it’s been a month since I last checked the Holonet. Siskeen may have been backwater but not enough to be unconnected.”

“To be fair, we did have other things on our minds.” Vrssl looked up from his work. “What with the Empire and replica droids and whatnot.”

“Still...” Kara didn’t like being out of the loop for too long. In her line of work not only could it cost you jobs, but a lack of awareness could get you mixed up in the latest spat between the Imps and Rebs. She read aloud from the data pad by impulse mostly, but it wouldn’t hurt to keep the rest of the group updated as well.

“‘After the destruction of the Empire’s battle station four months ago the Rebellion had begun a massive push into the Mid Rim, overconfident perhaps but nevertheless they have been successful in taking back several planets and establishing their own outposts in the process. As a direct result Imperial chatter has all efforts currently being refocused in response and the Emperor has personally promised these worlds that order will once again be restored to their region of the galaxy.

‘In local news the election of the planet representative to the Empire between Polski Marr and Traad Aaran has been heating up. Marr trails only slightly in the polls due mostly due to his public absence. About a month ago Marr inexplicably began running his campaign while in hiding from “vicious and unsubstantiated rumors that has put his person in danger.” His platform changed which was famous for an aggressive Neutralist stance, has seemed to have taken a far less inflammatory route. Aaran on the otherhand is using the Mid Rim push to his advantage, stating “the so called Rebellion and their militia of thugs and thieves have proven to sacrifice any and all lives they deem necessary in pursuit of their cause. Nar Shaddar will not suffer their occupation under ‘proper’ representation.” Recent polls show that planet residence aren’t quite enamored with either candidate and hopes for a third option are high.’“

Graalbar frowned at the computer’s move and looked up at Vrssl, barking in Shriwook.

“Me? I think that might draw too much undue attention. We’re still technically wanted for a prison break.”

“’Technically.’“ Kara smiled at Vrssl. “Well, what do you know...”

“What?”

“Well, I sent out those encrypted ransom messages to the two politicos like you asked for.”

“You got a response? Great, which one paid?”

“Neither, Marr is basically trying to weasel his way out of it. Wants to negotiate.”

“And Aaran?”

“No official reply. However, I did have something pop up on the black net that is rather interesting. A ten-thousand credit bounty for our friend Erd and any data pad or slug that can be found on his person.” Kara smirked. It seems that Aaran had a splicer dig into her message and found the trail leading to their Ithorian friend.

“Good luck with that. He should be on his way back to Kessel by now.” Vrssl allowed himself a satisfied grin and continued his work.

---

“Ahhhh, Kara. So good to have one of my flock return to me.” Graakus was nothing like the stereotypical Hutt...except for the crime syndicate. He spoke clear and near perfect basic, sat perched on a chair of mechanical spider legs, his arms were lean and muscular as opposed to fatty, and around his neck hung a gleaming necklace of strange silver cylinders that only Vrssl and Graalbar recognized as lightsabers.

“I hear some are calling you and your company the ‘Kessel Five,’ but I only make four...”

“We had to ditch the Ithorian, more trouble than he was worth.” Vrssl replied stepping up next to Graalbar.

“Hmmm, understandable I’m sure. So, it that it?” Graakus motioned to the large chest in Graalbar’s arms who immediately shifted the weight so that he could reach out a hairy palm. Although he spoke only Shriwook, the gesture said all it needed to.

Graakus nodded to the finely dressed Twilek at his side who in turn passed a small box to the wookie. Lowered it down to his height, Vrssl opened to find a pile of credsticks. After a brief count, he closed it and nodded to Graalbar.

“Ahhhhh thank you.” Graakus eagerly received the chest and opened it with reverence. “I’m sure you’ve heard of my collection? Not a single being in the galaxy has one like it I assure you. Well...perhaps one other, but even I do not seem to have his funds.”

Reaching inside the chest the hutt pulled out the dark stone amulet and inspected it. Vrssl hoped he wouldn’t question the size differential between the chest and it’s contents. He had decided to keep the strange tome for himself to inspect, even at the risk of angering a hutt.

“Lovely specimen. Was there anything else? Tell me about the cave.”

“Not really, just a pair of broken down clone war era droids.” Vrssl did his best to put off an air of nonchalance. “The cave itself seemed like it was some kind of Sith proving grounds. Each chamber had a challenge you had to master to continue forward. The key to the chest was in one of the battle droids. Then there was the surprise waiting for us outside.”

“Surprise?”

“Some asshole named Nik, wanted to claim the job for his own. Nearly killed Kara in the process.”

ROWWWRK! Graalbar barked at Vrssl, motioning to the lightsabers around Graakus’s neck.

“My friend here wants to know if those still work?”

“Heheh, but of course. All of my artifacts are in working order. Even my Jedi Holocrons. I may not be able to open them yet, but my inspections have found them to be in perfect condition.”

ROW WROW ROK. Graalbar pointed to himself, then at the hutt’s neck, before finally making a swinging motion. This time, Vrssl didn’t dare translate but instead replied in shriwook, hoping the Hutt was not fluent.

“You do realize that is a VERY bad idea. Even if he was willing to part with one, there are some very bad people around the galaxy. If they see you with one of those on you’re hip...”

Graalbar shrugged but didn’t press the matter. He didn’t know what the big deal was. He was a mighty warrior as it was, if he had one of those, no one would be able to stand in his way.

“Hmmm. Your Wookie friend might do well in my arena games.”

“YES.” Graalbar’s vocoder box spoke for him in tinny basic. He only had a few choice words and phrases programmed into it, but it got the job done when he wanted to speak for himself. “YES. I AM MIGHTY WARRIOR.”

“Ha ha ha. I am sure you are. If you are interested, my assistant will take down your necessary information. I look forward to placing a large sum of money on your victory.”

“Speaking of money. We were kind of hoping for long-term relationship out of this.” Vrssl cleared his throat slightly, he wasn’t planning on being quite so blunt but, it seemed as good an opportunity to broach the subject as any.

“As re claimers?”

“Sure, or anything else really. We’re not picky.”

“Hmmmm.” Graakus took the group in. A strange bunch these were. The gungan surprised him most, but then again, if the emperor was any indication, Naboo bred strong individuals. “Perhaps. For now there is something you can help me with. Call it, a trial period.

“You mentioned that Nik was aware of your whereabouts, and purpose on Siskeen. That is, most troubling to me. As you can imagine, my occupation requires quite a lot of personal caution. One of these measure is a very strict policy in terms of the information I allow outside of my organization. For someone other than yourselves to know the details of the job indicates a leak within the chain somewhere. I cannot allow this.”

“Sure, so you want us to...’plug the leak?’“

“Precisely. But first, I need to know how far it goes. Find Nik and-”

“Oh, he won’t be a problem.” Vrssl laughed. “Let’s just say he learned the hard way not to carry a thermal detonator in your pocket.”

“Hmmm, still. I need to be sure he did not talk to anyone of this matter. I also need you to have a conversation with my jobs broker. He is the only one outside of the organization who has that information. Make sure Nik was the only one he leaked the information to. Once you have what you need from him...” Graakus gracefully trailed off. The implication was clear.

“You got it.”

---

Vrssl sat in a rather uncomfortable chair pushed up against a battered table. The worn felt top spoke of endless nights of illegal Sabaac games. Kara and Rugor leaned up against the wall patiently while Graalbar took his position just behind the door of the back room of their third Huttown cantina of the evening.

Graakus’s job broker was the same man Kara had been working with for years, short, frail, human by the name of Charmer. The name was a rather cruel self-deprecation of the scarred flesh that covered his face. It was a lifetime reminder not to cross the people you work for, which made it all the more strange that he had made the ill advised leak of sensitive information.

The door clicked and slid open to the backside of a rather awkward looking human. In each hand he was juggling his meal and a tall glass of ale while the key card on his hip had been maneuvered to grant him access to the private room. Taking a sip of ale he turned around and nearly choked with surprise.

*KOFF* “Mmm, oh sorry. Didn’t know I had someone waiting. Give me a second to catch my bearings will you?” Charmer set down a steaming plate and took one last gulp before flanking it with his glass. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, I’m looking for some credits and I was told you could help me with that.”

“Yeah, yeah. No problem. I’ve got some jobs lined up, get you paid plenty if you’re willing to put the work in.”

The door behind them shut as a hairy paw brushed against the controls, and Charmer glanced back to watch the two-meter tall wookie slowly advance from his place.

“Oh hey...I didn’t uh...know you had a friend.” Charmer blinked. “Kara? Hey, how’re things?”

Kara ignored the question as did Vrssl, who continued the conversation as if nothing had ever happened.

“Well, see that’s the thing. What if I were to say, I didn’t really feel like doing all the leg work? Perhaps you have a few jobs currently underway that I could...take over?”

“Ok, yeah. I see where you’re getting at.” Charmer shifted slightly, the Wookie was imposing, especially since he had never seen one before. But he was all business now with the current implications being placed his way. “What you’re talking about isn’t kosher. I don’t do that kind of thing.”

“Really? That’s funny, because a friend of mine said you were the guy to talk to.”

“What? Who?”

“A man by the name of Nik.”

“‘Nik the Dick’...of course.” Charmer slumped back into his chair. “Listen, I’m sorry but Nik is an asshole OK? He’s the only scumbag I know who does business that way.”

“So why would he tell me you would help me out?”

“I don’t know, because he’s a Dick. Look...” Charmer leaned in, his annoyance and frustration washing away all caution. “I did something I wasn’t supposed to, OK? It was a one time deal. If Nik is going around telling people I am loose lipped he could get me killed. So you can tell him from me, that if he doesn’t shut it right quick, he’s going to find a blaster bolt in his back.”

Vrssl tried to read the man as best he could, something wasn’t adding up. It was seeming more and more like Charmer had put himself in deep well against his own common sense.

“OK, no problem...but if it’s such a big deal, what do it at all?”

Charmer sheepishly looked down at the table. “You know how it is. You get carried away at the tables, you start owing people money...”

Vrssl shook his head slightly, thinking on where that same addiction had landed Erd. With a little help from them, of course.

“So, he paid you?”

“He offered me a cut. Said he had another buyer for the product you guys were retrieving. Someone willing to pay big, and who wasn’t about to take ‘no’ for an answer.” Charmer gulped his ale, his mouth was starting to get dry. He was getting nervous now, and the wookie looming up behind him didn’t help.

“Did he say who?”

“Naw. I don’t ask too many questions. It’s bad for your health.”

“Fair enough.”

“So, yeah. That’s neither here nor there. I can’t help you if you want to swoop in on someone’s gig. That information’s privilaged. But, if you want your own job...”

“Sure, let’s see what you got.” Vrssl let the conversation take a more casual tone. Charmer was getting worked up, and pushing too hard might tighten his lips. The small alien reached out his hand for the datapad but was met with a shake of the head.

“No, no, no. It’s all in here.” Charmer tapped his temple with a finger and closed his eyes. “Security reasons, only one copy of the information. Now, let’s see.” He leaned back and Vrssl could see his brow furrowed slightly.

He looked up at Rugor in against the wall who seemed to be having the same thought and was looking over the back of the human’s head. Internal neural computers were still in their infancy and weren’t quite yet to the point where all the components were completely internalized. If he had any biotech in him, there would be evidence somewhere, but as far as they could tell he was clean.

“Since you’ve already done a retrieval job, I’ve got a couple for you if you’re interested. Only scant details until you take the job. Again...security reasons.” Charmer seemed much more relaxed now. He was working, and as long as he was working, he was alive.

“I’ve got a bot hunt, and a repo job. Bot hunt is galaxy-wide bounty, replica droids. The repo job is right here on Smuggler’s Moon. Pretty self explanatory, grab the merchandise, get out, bring it back in one piece. You interested?”

Vrssl looked over Charmer’s shoulder at the rest of the group. They had gotten a lead on the leak, but he wasn’t ready to plug it just yet. They would follow up with Charmer later, but for now, they were all ready to make some money.

“Sure. Sign us up.”