#“I'd pay $7 MAX” like... Dude...

[egg04]

I read the popular youtube comments on an artist's video about their commission prices and now I suddenly feel like shit about my work 😭 people don't fucking respect artists holy shit. It's not your damn place to say whether or not someone's commission was worth the price.

[marmotsomsierost]

Physical therapists are nuts, man. Like i knew that before, but she had me walk like six paces to and away from her, had me bend a couple times, did like four reflex tests, one of which was extending my toe against resistance and was like 'yeah it's your L4.'

Then we did ten slightly adjusted cat stretches and some (again, slightly adjusted) pelvic tilts and a hip stretch and then she repeated the toe extension vs resistance and like...

Bro.

*noticeable* immediate difference in strength.

Wtf.

It's been fuckin *years* and i was talking to the physical therapist that i do a bunch of these stretches already and she was like "yeah but you cheat, because you're extremely flexible, so you gotta adjust so you can't cheat. Flexibility is great, don't get me wrong, but yeah, it can definitely make things worse."

She also was like 'you know it's tough because you're over here going 'but my range of motion in my ankle and foot isn't right' and i'm looking at you going 'a lot of my patients half your age can't do that' and you're on the other side of that going 'but i want that back :(' and i was like :( accurate :(

She was like 'we can get it back, i think. Not right away but work at it and it'll work out. HowEVER. Dance, right? Early, right? You gotta- when we do stretches or movement tests or something and we ask 'is that ok' or 'any pain' you gotta recalibrate a little. Any pain means any pain, not eh it's fine or that's just sore etc.'

Me: okay but i do that already, like i started paying attention to the chronic pain scale bc it was easier to pick a number.

PT: can you elaborate a bit on that?

Me: well like when i hurt my back earlier this year i was like compared to my previous max pain, this is like a 4. But i looked at the chronic pain scale and it was like 'it's hard to think and listen, or it keeps me from doing necessary adls' and i was like oh, well, that's a 7-8 then.

(PT gives me a very dubious look, probably remembering me talking about 1s and 2s earlier in the appt)

PT: 'uh-huh. So when we had your knee off there rotating your hip and you said it was fine, you weren't feeling anything at all whatsoever'

Me: ...i mean.

Me: Not like...It felt a little tight but it didn't hurt.

PT, very patiently: did it feel different than the other side

Me: ....yes

PT: that is what i mean by you gotta recalibrate a little, dude.

PT: flexibility is great, don't get me wrong, but when you are very flexible you compensate for things in ways that are not ideal.

Me: is that why you were like 'yeah, as expected' when you had me lean forward

PT: when i said to lean over and stretch down towards your toes and you put your knuckles on the ground? Yeah. You are making a face.

Me: it's not- i mean before my hips started bugging me i could get my palms down. aaand being cranky about that is probably not helping my case regarding the...everything, is it.

PT: that and the fact that you started the appointment apologizing for coming in jeans and not something less restrictive

Me: :(

PT: if i asked you if you can do the splits, would your answer be along the lines of 'not in these pants'

Me: ...i can't do center splits, but the side splits yeah, not in these pants. And it would be highly unpleasant doing so.

PT: ...again, see, when we say can you do X we mean can you do X with no pain or with minimal discomfort. Not 'i'm not actively dying so sure it's doable.'

Me: :(

PT: dance is great because your body awareness is great but one you start with bad habits either by accident or design it's all bad.

PT: you are making a face again

Me: oh. I just- when i started taekwondo Miss Linnell was super exasperated with me for awhile because when i'd take the front stance i would consistently drift back into a fencing front stance and my weight would be settled for the fencing stance not like it should be. She had a similar turn of phrase.

PT: uh-huh. No wonder you got good legs. Stop beating them up to help your back. Because certainly some of this is age related but i would bet if you'd started pt after that stair injury you wrote on the intake form you'd've caught it before it got to this point.

PT: when was that? The one in june was a reinjury, when was the first one?

Me: ...

Me: can i plead the fifth on that

PT: why on earth

Me: 2009 or early 2010

PT:

PT: *tired sigh*

PT: so when you say 'a few years' you mean 'my back pain just got their learner's permit'

[sydsaint]

My review of Double or Nothing 2024

Overall PPV Rating- 8.5/10 stars

In-Depth look under the cut.

I'll start with the pre-show matches.

Deonna vs Rosa- 8/10 stars. Really solid match for a pre-show bout. Both Deonna and Rosa got some good spots in. I was sure that Rosa was going to win, but Deonna pulled one out from under her. I'm expecting the fued to continue until maybe a street fight of some sort between them. It was a good opener to a night of action.

The Acclaimed vs Cage of Agony- 7/10 stars. Max Caster my beloved. Loved the rap and the shenanigans as always. Action was chaotic in a good way. Brian Cage never fails to amaze me with his insane build. Dude is a monster. Very entertaining match to watch.

Now onto the Main Card

Roddy vs Will- 9/10 stars. Almost a perfect match! William Ospreay you are allergic to having a bad match. The actions was entertaining and kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. I got to see Matt Taven be sexy which is always a bonus. (Mr. Taven please call me) I can't wait to see what kind bangers Will is going to put on now that he's champion.

Post-Roddy/Will shenanigans- ADAM COLE BAY BAY. So happy to see my sinster short king back and ready to cause problems. also. MJF YOU SEXY BITCH. Love the new tattoo pookie!! I can't wait to see the post breakup between these two get MESSY.

Bang Bang Gang vs Death Triangle- 8/10 stars. Jay and Pac aka my two fav greasy little bastard men going at it! Great to see Penta and Fenix back in action again! Death Triangle is so cool. The Gunn bros were chaotic lil weasels as well. They are learning from mother Jay White. and JUICE ROBINSON MY GREMLIN MAN!!! WELCOME BACK POOKIE!!

Orange Cassidy v Trent Baretta- 8/10 stars. Emo Orange you are so special to me. My heart hurts seeing them be mean to one another and I might have cried a little bit. Great match between two men that used to be so close! Emotional for everyone.

Toni Storm vs Serena Deeb- 6/10 stars. I didn't pay that much attention to this match tbh. Serena Deeb is boring to watch if you ask me. Girl had no chemistry with Toni. I did enjoy Nigel being a simp on comms though. And seeing Mariah and Toni be gay is always a plus! Most boring match of the night but still a solid one.

Jericho vs HOOK vs Shibata- 5/10 stars. The action in the ring was good. However, TONY KHAN YOU WILL PAY FOR NOT ONLY LETTING CHRIS FUCKING JERICHO KEEP THAT BELT. BUT ALSO MAKING FUCKING SHIBATA TAKE THE PIN AND RUINING BRYAN KEITH FOR ME.

Adam Copeland vs Malakai Black- 9/10 stars. It would have been a perfect match but Malakai lost so. This was a match for the sickos and i ATE IT UP. Blood! Violence! Religious Symbolism!! It had IT ALL. RIP to Adam's knees after jumping off the cage. Also welcome back Grangrel you funky vampire man! The fake-out apot with Brody and Buddy was dope. I got swerved hard with that one. Second best match of the night if you ask me.

Willow vs Mercedes- 7/10 stars. I'm pressed as fuck that Willow lost. The action was solid. You know these girls dont play in the ring. I get that Mercedes is supposed to be a huge star. But my girl Willow got ROBBED. And you take away Kris and Stoke from her??? We can't have nice things in this house.

Swerve vs Christian- 7/10 stars. This was also a solid match. Swerve ddin't get to be nearly as unhinged as i'd of liked. But thats fine. It was fun seeing the shenanigans with Mama Wayne, Nick, and Luchasaurus! Match had me second guessing Swerve winning a couple of times I'll admit.

Anarchy in the Arena- 10/10 stars. BEST MATCH OF THE NIGHT. Oh my god this whole match was INSANE. It baffles me that Darby Allin is even walking after everything that he's gone through then he comes out and does insane shit like this?? Getting hit by a bus? Hanged??? Sir, please seek help. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time!! I'm looking forward to seeing this Bucks gimmick end. I hate it. Cringe. All the spots were great! Had me engaged the whole time.

[georgegraphys]

I actually liked Max Verstappen because when I said to a guy friend that i like F1. He went "Russell is a good driver. But you should check out Max too if you want to pay attention to other drivers". Then he'd talk to me about Max while I talk to him about George. He ended up liking George and I ended up liking Max. He'd occasionally send me George things like random tiktoks just because he knew I like George. And days ago, I spammed him after the Qatar sprint when Max wins his 3x WDC and his first words are "Russell will win too one day (next year)".

When I couldn't watch some F1 qualis or FPs, he'd tune in to them and just updates "Russell's P2" "Russell is pitting" and sometimes he gets hyped "Russell is masterclass-ing. THAT DUDE SHEESSHH" or even get mad sometimes when merc or just anyone fucks up George's race 😭😭. Some days where he couldn't watch, I'd spam update him about Max "Max Pole!!" "Max wins (again)" and he mostly goes "ik Max would lead the race and win. How's Russell?" and he always says "I hope Russell has a good race and win" "The only guy I tolerate to win beside Max is Russell" 😭😭 He goes "Russell this" "Russell that" 24/7 now to me. While i go "Verstappen this" "Verstappen that" to him.

I'm very grateful to have a friend like him 😭

[dzpenumbra]

12/15/22

Today started rough. I went to the vet and they... didn't have Max's prescription food. I don't know if I just... forgot something the vet told me... but I swear she said I can swing by whenever to pick it up and they were open until 7, I remember that shit. But yeah, it was a bit embarrassing to just show up and be like "hey, I'm here for my cat's food that isn't here." Well, maybe just more stressful than embarrassing. Because she hadn't eaten yet, and she was really hungry before I left. So I just got back and got her some of her regular food.

Then I ordered GrubHub because fuck it. And I paid for it, because it ended up arriving an hour late. It was dank so I didn't care too much about it being cold or whatever, but like... I was on an empty stomach until 5:15pm. That really fucked up my rhythm.

I brought some boxes up to the recycling room on my way up, huge boxes from moving. I couldn't get the door, and this dude came with me and actually got 3 doors for me, it was really chill of him. And then I went to the main lobby to get my delivery and ran into him there too. That shit was awkward, he wasn't really chatty and I was like... running on fumes and caffeine so... it wasn't like I was making eye contact or anything. It was still cool, awkward but cool of him.

I worked on another fluorite (?) piece and this one is coming together really nicely. I put a few hours into it, it needed a lot of shaping. Eyeballing the beveled edges and sanding it by hand is a herculean task, but I like the challenge and I'm willing to pay the price for fucking up. It's very rewarding, so much so that I'm actually not sure if I'd want to learn how to use tools to do this. I mean, it would kinda just be like... a different skill set, right? Like with what I'm doing now, I'm kinda calculating angles in my head and trying to make sure opposite edges are symmetrical. With tools, I feel like it's going to be more like following a recipe while cooking. Mount the stone on a dop stick. Set it in the thingamajig. Turn it to X degrees. Lock it. Sand it. Turn it to X degrees. Lock it. Sand it. Yes, it's much faster. Yes, it's much more precise. Yes, it makes a result that's probably visually more consistent. But like... isn't there something more impressive about a piece that was done by hand? And, for me, the process is very slow, but rewarding. Even if I go ahead and try to apprentice with someone to learn how to do the whole modern approach to cutting gems, I'd still like to keep doing this hand-sanding approach, if for nothing more than just the process itself.

After that, I decided I needed to go snowskate. See, there's a rotary (we call them roundabouts, for some reason) a block away from my house, and the entire middle of it is a park. It has 4 4-sets, a 2-set, an 8-set, a tight 6-set, a big 2 block and a smaller 2 1/2 - 3 block. It's pretty nuts. And it was all covered in about an inch of snow. I decided to say fuck it and go.

Welp, it wasn't exactly that simple. I did yoga, I used the foam roller to loosen up my shoulders, back and hips. I stretched my legs and then... I talked myself out of it. I went "what if it's not lit well?" Then I scoured google for pictures of it at night, to see how well lit it was, and I couldn't really tell. I ended up going... "screw it, I'll go tomorrow during the day and scope it out."

I was really upset with myself with that. I went through all this prep and everything. Then I grabbed my board and actually just stripped off the tundra grip on it. I honestly didn't like it last year. Yeah, it's really grippy, but like... it feels like I'm trying to skate in soccer cleats. And I skate in skate shoes, so I can feel every one of those studs and they tear up my shoes and shit. Basically, I wanted the feeling of skating my old board, I don't mind scraping snow off the grip every now and again. I got used to how the grip felt for flicking and everything. So after I got the grip off... well... now I have to go test it out, right? So, I went.

I ollied the 2-set. Big whoop I guess, but it was the first real stairset I've ollied in years, probably over a decade honestly. I even tried one of the 4's. That didn't go quite as well. I tried to shuvit the 2, but I was just... not locked in. I kept popping it too wide, I didn't keep it attached to my front foot the way I trained myself to. Mind games. I landed a ton on flat, really smooth too, but the second I needed to clear something it just wasn't there. I'll get it next time, I'm sure. I got a few kickflips on flat, it was nice to know that's still there. I think I got one moving too. I even got a frontside 180, which is a lot harder on snowskate since you don't have wheel friction grip on your pop, and it was really clean. I couldn't get it down the 2 though.

So the park has the stairsets all on the left side of it, but the right side is all handicap-accessible ramps/paths. Right? So for my "last" run, I went all the way to the top and bombed the whole thing. There are even little flat sections that turn into tiny bumps you can get some air off of. I didn't get as much speed as I wanted, next time I'll haul ass down it. My lungs were just killing me at that point. But that section was really fun. Then at the bottom, I stuck a 3-shuv. Which was cool, I used to have that trick completely locked down, it took a few tries and I landed pretty sketchy... but I stuck two of them, which was a cool feeling. All-in-all, not bad at all for a first session of the year!

And we've got a winter storm coming in tomorrow night, they're saying 4-7 inches, so that's pretty sick.

I wish I had people to skate with. I might see if I can post on Reddit for my local area, see if anyone around wants to skate with me. It was a bit weird having people walking by on the sidewalks, and driving all around me, and living in the buildings all around me... I'm so used to skating in the woods, in the middle of nowhere, where I'm not "bothering" anyone. Where I'm alone. And I just constantly had this feeling of being watched. It's really hard to get used to. I don't know if anyone else can relate, I guess it's a country mouse in a city situation kinda thing. I just... even though it was like 10pm, I had to push past anxiety and a feeling that I was being constantly watched just to like... skate. And that's a tough one. It didn't paralyze me or anything, it was just a factor I'm not used to juggling, and the mental gymnastics can put me in my head, when I kinda need to be not in my head to land shit. I'm sure I'll get used to it in time, with practice and exposure, the learning curve is weird though. Another isolation thing, I guess.

So yeah, that was basically my day. Late dinner after I got back and here I am. My social worker wrote me back, he recommended I find a Primary Care (which I really should do anyway...) and get officially screened for ADHD. So, we'll give that a go. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do if that comes back negative, to be honest. It's weird, but like... yeah. I'm nervous because of that. If I have it, it explains a lot about my current place in life, and my story so far. If I don't have it? <blank> I guess I'm just lazy or "weird" or something? I don't know. I don't really want to overthink this, because I know if I start, I'll somehow work my way around to talking myself out of all of it, and I'm not doing that. I'm going to link up with my mom tomorrow and come up with a plan.

For now, I'm fucking e x h a u s t e d. I'm gonna wind down with some videos of some kind and then pack it in for the night.