#“Flatline in the morning light I held on so tight For so long it's just not right” ????

[possumkingluca]

finally listened to will wood's explanation of tomcat disposables after just... not doing that (i don't have an excuse i listened to it multiple times just never actually went and got the full story) and uh yeah i get it now sorry for being late to the sob fest guys WHAT THE FUCK i am never going to recover from this actually

[nanistar]

65 and bonestar?

Flatline in the morning light I held on so tight For so long, it's just not right Let a sigh out as I close my eyes Was that all there was to this? What's for the best?

do not forget about Palestine amidst the spotify wrapped excitement, there's a reason it was posted early instead of on the normal day.

[the-east-art]

as a fellow "devastated by tomcat disposables" enjoyer, yes absolutely

Tomcat Disposables by Will Wood

This song makes me crazy and I'm gonna walk you through all the different ways it does so to me personally:

When I first listen to a song it usually takes me a while to actually decipher the words and stuff, so the first few times I listen to a song I'm only really hearing the melody and stuff, and Tomcat disposables is SO musically MELANCHOLY. It has a nice sound, but there's this sadness about it. A couple lines stuck out to me like the season themes (Spring bloomed in the kitchen again, winter came inside for three nights) but nothing concrete.

And then I properly gave the lyrics a listen and realized that it is a song from the perspective of a mouse living in the walls of the house (pretty obvious from the title and when I finally watched the music video) and I was devastated. There is such hope in the story, in this mouse happy in its small life, and how it hopes to live in tandem with humans only to die. the word 'flatline in the morning light' 'what's the moon made of? Meet me there after I'm gone'. The line 'life gets shorter, teeth grow long' a reference to how mice and rodents need to gnaw on things because their teeth are always growing. It hit me with the same emotion as when I first understood the lyrics to 'Virtute the Cat Explains Her Departure'. The small tragedy of a small life being snuffed out. The fact that I know Will Wood specifically has a love for mice and raised several made it more emotional. And I was really in love with this song and it's story.

BUT THEN on the live version of the song Will says the song is 'a bit about a friend of mine (presumably a mouse or rat he had) and a bit about me' and like it's probably obvious but I hadn't even been THINKING about how Tomcat Disposables can be a metaphor for life, and suddenly I saw myself in the song. A small creature just trying to live. In comedy 'long in the tooth' means a joke has been going on for too long, and I started to think about how you could posit that the singer of TD consider their life like a long joke. The line 'I held on so long, for so long, it's just not right' also really hit me, the idea of holding onto this life and onto hope so hard it hurts, and ultimately losing it anyways.

And the video I also adore, it has this kind of... cosmic horror vibe to me personally? This mouse building this vision of it's own death, that once it sees it is like a self fulfilling prophecy, or so awful to gaze at.

God, Fuck, it's been a rough few months for me.

'But then winter came inside for three nights Left me grinding my teeth between my walls And gripping my dreams tight Curled up, kept my head up, and put up the fight I'll make it through again I have before C'mon now, what's one more?'

[clownc-nt]

"Cockroach Waltz" by Jack Off Jill

"Tomcat Disposables" by Will Wood

An observation I have made

"We hide in the cupboards, and under the stairs"

"I have mapped the cupboards and drawers"

"Crawl quick, past each other

The cord starts to break"

"As shadows by their feet"

" I gave you too much

That's my big mistake

We look like each other

Sew you to my chest

Then say that I won't, faithfully

As I fuck all the rest

You made me"

"Mind me not, and I'll mind my own

And my mind is not one bite smaller or lesser than yours"

"Help me shut out painful world

Were insect boy becomes a girl"

"Do I belong in right and wrong?"

"I am a part of you

I liked you once"

"Left me grinding my teeth between my walls and gripping my dreams tight"

"I am a part of you

You made me want

I am a part of you

I was you once

I don't want this

I want this

I don't want this

I want this"

"Spring bloomed in the kitchen again

So I crawled out of the wall and

Squinting, saw hope on the stovetop

Just like I'd always imagined it

More than I could eat

My dreams were finally reality

My struggles had a happy ending

They must want to be friends

My stomach starts to turn with thirst

Why does it hurt?

My just dessert is served, dig in

So I stumble back to bed

Something's not quite right

Guess I'll just go rest my head

Now as I lay me down to sleep

I expect no dreams

And no sweet goodbyes to me

Flatline in the morning light

I held on so tight

For so long, it's not right

Let a sigh out as I close my eyes

Was that all there was to this?

What's for the best?"

"I am a part of you

You made me want

I am a part of you

You loved me once"

"Is there cheese in the great beyond?

What's the moon made of?

Meet me there after I'm gone

Life gets shorter, teeth grow long

Mind me not and I'll mind my own

And my mind held the same light as the one in your eyes"

"Cockroach will rise, will crash, will burn"

[bludraws094]

“so i stumble back to bed / somethings not quite right / guess ill just go rest my head / now as i lay me down to sleep / i expect no dreams / and no sweet goodbye to me /// flatline in the morning light / i held on so tight / for so long its just not right / let a sigh out as i close my eyes / was that all there was to this? / whats for the best?”

this song is so feathercore

(this is a threat)

[myorgansaremelting]

Saw hope on the stovetop just like I’d always imagined it

More than I could

My dreams were finally reality

My struggles had a happy ending

They must want to be friends.

My stomach starts to turn with thirst, why does it hurt? My just dessert is served, dig in.

So I stumble back through bed, somethings not quite right, guess I’ll just go rest my head

Now as I lay me down to sleep, I expect no dreams and no sweet goodbye to me

Flatline in the morning light

I held on so tight

For so long

It’s just not right

Was that all there was to this?

[uselessvaldemarsimp]

this particular genre of songs

some part of you attempting to console the irrational, emotional, weaker part of you

• “It has to be true…I’m counting on you…To be my wings and my eyes” — Rule #4 - Fish in a Birdcage, Fish in a Birdcage

• “You stood beside me when I was out of my mind…I broke the glass and you were there to sweet it aside…And if you leave me…Rest assured it would kill me” — Oleander, Mother Mother

• “I just want you here with me (I just want my privacy)…God, can’t we just get along? (God, won’t you leave me alone?” — Evelyn Evelyn, Evelyn Evelyn

• “I never thought that I would have to say I’m sorry for anyone, but me” — My Heart is Buried in Venice, Ricky Montgomery

• “Luna you’re loved so much more than you know…May troubles be far from your mind…And forgive me for being so blind” — Lullaby for a Princess, Ponyphonic

• “Said, ‘It’s okay’…’And it’ll all be over soon’…’I’d never let a bad thing happen to you’…’Now, goodnight, I love you!’” — Euthanasia, Will Wood

• “I won’t let go of your hand…Two birds on a wire…One says come on…The other says…I’m tired” — Two Birds, Regina Spektor

• “Oh, please, don’t cry, now smile…As you’re standing at the edge of your life…Your troubles are over, mine are just beginning” — Feathery Wings, Aurelio Voltaire

• “I’m a little sick right now but I swear…When I’m ready I will fly us out of here” — This is Home, Cavetown

• “You may feel no purpose…Nor point for existing…It’s all just conjecture and gloom…And there may not be meaning…So find one and seize it…Do not waste yourself on this roof” — Achilles Come Down, Gang of Youths

• “It’s alright, it’s okay, it’s alright, it’s okay…You’re not a demon, there’s a reason…You behaved in that way…It’s alright, it’s okay, it’s alright, it’s okay…And I believe, yes I believe that you will see a better day” — It’s Alright, Mother Mother

• “Now, as I lay me down to sleep…I expect no dreams…And no sweet goodbye to me…Flatline in the morning light…I held on so tight…For so long, it’s just not right…Let a sigh out as I close my eyes…Was that all there was to this?” — Tomcat Disposables, Will Wood

[inland--empire]

YEAHA SJSJDJS

Also, Human Monika:

So I stumble back to bed

Something's not quite right

Guess I'll just go rest my head

Now, as I lay me down to sleep

I expect no dreams

And no sweet goodbye to me

Flatline in the morning light

I held on so tight

For so long, it's just not right

Let a sigh out as I close my eyes

Was that all there was to this?

What's for the best?

YEAHHHH

[thatoneguywhowho]

my just dessert is served again so i stumble back to bed

somethings not quite right

guess ill just go rest my head

now, as i lay me down to sleep i expect no dreams

and no sweet goodbye to me

flatline in the morning light

i held on so tight

for so long, its just not right

[nirogryphon]

Flatline in the morning light. I held on so tight for so long, it's just not right.

hi, it's been a minute since i drew him.

[radxianixe]

FLATLINE IN THE MORNING LIGHT I HELD ON SO TIGHT FOR SO LONG IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT (SOBBING)

[risingloverd]

Me when:

My stomach starts to turn

With thirst, why does it hurt?

My just dessert is served again

So I stumble back to bed

Some things not quite right

Guess I’ll just go rest my head

Now, as I lay me down to sleep

I expect no dreams

And no sweet goodbye to me

Flatline in the morning light

I held on so tight

For so long, it's just not right

Let a sigh out as I close my eyes

Was that all there was to this?

What's for the best?

IS THERE CHEESE IN THE GREAT BEYOND

WHATS THE MOON MADE OF

MEET ME THERE AFTER IM GONE

nature I guess…

[transhitman]

Now as I lay me down to sleep, I expect no dreams, and no sweet goodbye to me. Flatline in the morning light. I held on so tight for so long It’s just not right, let a sigh out as I close my eyes. Was that all there was to this?

[rainy-daze-wizardry]

Spring bloomed in the kitchen again So I crawled out of the wall and squinting Saw hope on the stovetop Just like I'd always imagined it More than I could eat My dreams were finally reality My struggles had a happy ending! They must want to be friends!

My stomach starts to turn With thirst, why does it hurt? My just dessert is served again! So I stumble back to bed Something's not quite right Guess I'll just go rest my head Now, as I lay me down to sleep I expect no dreams And no sweet goodbye to me Flatline in the morning light I held on so tight For so long, it's just not right Let a sigh out as I close my eyes Was that all there was to this? What's for the best?

Is there cheese in the great beyond? What's the moon made of? Meet me there after I'm gone Life gets short, our teeth grow long! Mind me not and I'll mind my own and my mind Held the same light as the one in your eyes Do I belong in right and wrong? One dies alone and I don't know Goodbye, so long To mice in holes!

Nature, I guess

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

👀 alvareider?

ooh okay so this is a long bit of what will be ch 4 of strange how we fit each other, since quite a lot of it is drafted:

The rare quiet moment around the table when she glanced his way, and saw him staring back at her, felt like a lightning bolt. Every time. His eyes were so blue, so bright searching her face for something. You’re not a teenager, she reminded herself more than once during the meal. Get hold of your hormones.

Schneider didn’t come by for coffee the next morning, or breakfast, and by lunchtime at work she had to admit she missed him. All the more reason to get back to normal–one fancy night out with him and his absence started to feel weird.

Penelope had ten minutes of her lunch break left when Schneider showed up. Her first thought was panic, a mental cataloguing of every member of her family that Schneider might have come to warn her about. Her second thought was annoyance–did Schneider have to show up everywhere she was?

Her third thought was the mental equivalent of a flatlining heart monitor–a dull ringing in her ears as her best friend offered her a tentative smile and a giant bouquet of sunflowers.

“What’s this?” She blurted out, and watched his smile wobble before his resolve firmed it back up.

“Roses are a cliche,” he explained. “I know you like these, so I thought…I just wanted to thank you again, Pen. I know Saturday was a lot, and you only did it as a favor to me.”

He bought her flowers.

“I…”

Schneider held the flowers out at her, again, beaming when she took them.

He bought her flowers.

“Schneider, I didn’t–you didn’t have to–”

“I wanted to.”

The impulse to bury her face in them as though they were actual sunlight she could soak up warred with the equally strong need to explain why he really shouldn’t have gone to the trouble. Her overworked heart lay in the middle of that battle, and it’d had enough days ago.

Penelope’s eyes filled before she realized it was happening, Schneider’s alarmed expression swimming in her vision.

“Penelope? What’s wrong?”

“God, nothing.” Everything. “You just really didn’t have to buy me flowers, okay? You didn’t have to go looking for flowers that you knew I liked, and bring them to my work in the middle of the day, Schneider! It’s too much.”

She meant, it’s too much for me to handle right now. It’s too sweet, it’s too you. How am I supposed to lock my feelings back down when everywhere I look, you’re this guy? How can I not be in love with you?

But of course he didn’t know that’s what she was thinking. Even Schneider couldn’t read her that well–he wasn’t psychic. What he was, was panicking. And apologetic.

“I’m sorry. I’ll take them back. Out of here, I mean. I’ll let you get back to work.”

Schneider was looking just beyond her, to the empty front office, rather than making eye contact, but he held out a hand for the flowers.

She shook her head and gave his open hand a quick squeeze with her free one. “Stop that, Schneider. You’re not taking my flowers anywhere. They’re mine now. And it was really sweet of you.”

The storm had passed quickly, the way it always did with her. She could offer him a sincere smile, even when he squeezed back and held on a little too long.

“You’re sure it’s okay?”

“Of course it’s okay.” She wanted to bang her head against the front counter that Schneider was resting a hand on. Stupid. Get it together, Penelope. You’re trying not to hurt him, remember?

“Thank you. They’re beautiful,” she assured him, slipping her hand free and curling it around the bouquet stems. He didn’t look convinced. But Schneider nodded and offered her another smile.

“Okay, then. I’m gonna go. Let you get back to work.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you at dinner, yeah?”

“You betcha. Your mom’s making frijoles, she told me over afternoon coffee.”

That made her smile for real, a spark that Schneider caught and reflected back to her as though he’d been waiting for it.

Of course he spent his lunchtime with her Mami, she thought, shaking her head. He was practically living at her house, the son her Mami had always wanted. God, that made this even weirder.

How could she be attracted to Schneider?

He cleared his throat, smile faded and caught her gaze. Right, she remembered as she felt herself warm up just looking at him. That’s how.

“I know Saturday was rough,” he said, apology soaking his tone. “But I hope it wasn’t all bad. The hotel room was nice, at least. Right?”

A lake-sized bed, soft clean sheets, Schneider curled around her like an anchor in the soft Sunday morning light. His curly hair mussed and damp, his hand against her cheek in the dark.

“Right.” Penelope swallowed hard. Her words came out higher of pitch than she would’ve liked, but at least she got them out at all, around the tightness in her throat. “It was great.”

If he still seemed worried, Schneider gave up pressing the issue, and she exhaled in relief at that. “Cool. Dinner, then?”

“Yep. Good. See you then. With everybody.”

He lingered at the doorway on his way out, but didn’t look back–just tapped his fingertaps against the doorframe before loping out of sight.

send me a 👀 and i’ll post a snippet of art/writing that i never got around to finishing this year

[karenninaaa]

Chapter 1- The Clash of the Dead and the Living

Read it on ffn

PART I

PUNISHMENT

I - WILL

When Will Solace had received a call from Lou Ellen, his friend and who also happened to be the on-duty nurse at the emergency room, he had a sudden ominous feeling that he wasn't going home any time soon that morning. Call it, doctor's instincts, but years of working at Jupiter Half blood Hospital polished the said instincts that it rarely failed him. So, Will swiped his phone screen to answer the call. He was staring at the window in front of him as he held his phone against his ear. His light blue eyes were paler from the sunlight seeping through the window.

"Hello, Lou-"

But Lou beat him on the other line, her voice was rushed. "I'm so sorry. I know that your duty's finished and you're about to go home but we could really use a cardiothoracic surgeon right now. There's an incoming patient with multiple gunshot wounds and one bullet wound in the chest."

"All right, I'm coming." Will said. See, doctor's instincts scored points again early in the morning.

"You're the best, Will. You're teaming up with Dr. Fletcher on this one. Patient's ETA is five minutes."

"Yeah, sure, I'll be waiting in the operating room." Then Will hang up.

Will looked down and stared longingly at the backpack on the table waiting for him to be carried back at home. He hadn't been home in two days and he missed his own bed back at his apartment. But of course, it was duty's call and it meant he had to set aside his own pleasure and comfort for the sake of others. It was something he had accepted long before he embraced this job. There were people who were relying on him to live and it's not like Will could deny them of that.

So, Will found himself standing in front of a full body length mirror in the corner of the on-call room. The room was mostly littered with empty packs of Chinese takeouts and bottles of energy drinks. The bunk bed, that was situated by the wall, almost turned into a coat rack with doctors' white lab coats hanging on its corners. A shelf was pushed by the other side of the wall. It was loaded with several thick medical books and some were haphazardly shoved in it. The room was a whirlwind of a mess than Will would have liked but that room was the closest place he could call home. He shoved his tanned arms inside the sleeves of his long white lab coat. He tugged the collar of the coat for final adjustment. Underneath the white coat, was his light blue surgeon's scrub shirt. He combed his tousled blond hair with his fingers and briefly stared at his reflection. There were bags under his eyes and he looked like he badly needed to crash a bed and rest.

Which, he really needed.

But again, duty's call.

So, Will smiled, his dimples showing up.

This was his life most of the time, always tired and occasionally sleeps but hey he didn't say that he didn't love his job.

Will entered the operating room with a mask on his face and scrub hat covering his mop of blond hair. A nurse came to him and assisted him in wearing protective clothing and another nurse was helping him wear a pair of latex gloves. Will was gazing at the patient unconscious on the bed and hooked to several medical machines.

"You've seen his CT scan results?" Dr. Lee Fletcher came up to Will who was also geared in the same attire as the blond doctor. "Jesus, I don't know how he's still alive-"

"And let's be thankful, that he is." Will strode towards the patient. "I'll go first, it was just an extraction of a bullet that stopped at the pericardium, it should only take a minute." He reached the side of the bed.

"Of course," Fletcher nodded in awe at Will as he stood on the other side of the bed "It will probably just take a minute for you and hours for me since I have to extract bullet wounds around the pancreas, small intestine, and kidney."

"Good luck," Will looked up at Fletcher.

And so, the surgery began when Will sliced up the chest open with his scalpel.

"Suction," Will ordered to Lou. And the blond continued to work as his hand moved skillfully on the chest cavity, hands that knew what to touch inside a human chest and what instrument to pick to aid him. It was more of muscle memory, from years of practice and training.

True to his words, Will had managed to extract the bullet wound in a minute, as he pulled out the tweezers with a bullet from the opened chest. Will dropped the bullet in the metal plate. The bullet made a clinking sound as metal hit another metal.

"Gosh, I felt like, it only lasted thirty seconds," Fletcher commented, still in awe.

"Don't, just don't make it sound easy. It made me feel queasy. Nothing is easy when it comes to surgery." Will had started to stitch up the perforated heart. His gloved hands were expertly moving swiftly with every twist and knot he was making with the nylon thread.

"Cut," Will ordered again, and Lou cut the thread with a pair of scissors.

Will gazed up once again at Fletcher, "Now, he's all yours-"

Suddenly the heart monitor of the said patient beeped. A flat line was indicated on the screen that alerted them.

"He is in cardiac arrest!" Lou Ellen reported.

"See, I told you nothing is easy in surgery," Will muttered and picked up the two metal spoon-like equipment with wires attached at its end, the internal paddles of a defibrillator.

"Charge to 20 Joules," Will ordered.

He put the paddles at either side of the heart. "Clear,"

Will looked at the heart monitor as he pulled out the paddles from the heart, still flatline.

"Charge to 60 J," Will said again.

"Clear," He repeated the process.

There was still no response.

Suddenly in the corner of the operating room, a guy clad in all black appeared from a wisp of black smoke. Will noticed him immediately and his eyes widen. He knew the guy in black very well, as a guy like him always appeared every time there's someone who's in the brink of dying. He's a death angel with a name of Nico di Angelo. Not everyone could see a death angel but Will was one of the few.

"No!" Will growled underneath his mask.

"He's mine, Solace." Nico gritted his teeth.

"I said no," Will whispered. He knew that Nico heard him.

Will set aside the paddles and started massaging the heart.

"Just give him up!" Nico hissed.

"No, he still has a chance," Will said and smirked. Suddenly, he glowed in a golden light invisible to everyone else but to Nico.

"No! You little-" Nico cursed.

Meanwhile, Will continued to massage the heart while repeating the mantra in his head. You will live. Seconds after, the heartbeat of the patient went back. The lines on the monitor rose and fell. And as Will looked down at the heart, it was truly beating back.

Will smiled in relief as the glow around him faded. He gave Nico a wink.

Nico just continued to glare at him. He dissolved in the air, leaving a trail of black smoke behind.

It was already afternoon when the operation had successfully ended and all the bullets had been removed from the patient, whose name was Percy Jackson. Will was exhausted, the kind of I-am-going-to-drop-on-the-floor-any-second-by-now exhausted. It didn't help that he used the glowing trick that he could barely make a walk back to the on-call room and get his things so he could go home.

Will discovered his glowing trick when he was nine and when he accidentally healed a pet dog. And ever since that day, he also had started to see death angels from time to time. Witnessing those death angels took the souls of those dead people, was the reason why he became a doctor. He wanted to save lives and prevented the sorrows of those people because their love once died.

Where this power came from, Will had no idea. But it doesn't matter to him, as long as he was able to save people with his power. Using that power too, he created some enemies from the Dead. Because every time Will glowed it means no soul for the death angels. One of those enemies was Nico di Angelo.

Will leaned on the wall to rest for a bit. He closed his eyes. He was so tempted to sleep on the floor right there.

Then, he opened his eyes and stood straighter. He summoned last of his strength to make a trip back to the on-call room. He turned to walk but paused when he saw Nico di Angelo striding towards his direction. From years of knowing the death angel, Will hardly jumped out of his skin in surprise every time Nico would appear out of nowhere.

Since there were no other people in the hallway, Will spoke raising an eyebrow. "Going somewhere?"

"Yes, I have a tight schedule since I wasn't able to reach my quota because of meddling people like someone I know," Nico said as he continued to walk towards him, he had this hard look on his face.

Will shrugged. "Couldn't help it. It's my job."

"But you're cheating!" Nico hissed stopping in front of Will. "No normal doctor would be able to save Perseus Jackson from his demise. You are always interfering with the course of death!"

"He responded to my power that means he can be saved and it's not my fault if I have this glowing trick, I am just putting it into use." Will shrugged again and then he sighed. "And besides you already know the cycle of all these things, shouldn't you at least get used to it?"

"What? Get used to having overtime in the Underworld just because you happened?" Nico spat.

Will was going to throw some witty remark when his vision suddenly tilted and he fell forward.

"What in Hades Solace?!" Nico said in outburst holding both of Will's shoulder preventing the doctor from kissing the floor.

"Sorry about that, lack of sleep and the glowing trick was not a good combination." Will tried to steady himself. Nico immediately released him.

"Why do you keep on using that power when you know it's dangerous? When you drained yourself, your soul is possibly the next one I need to take to the Underworld." Nico said.

Despite Will's growing vertigo, he couldn't help but smile while rubbing his temple "Did I detect some concern from an enemy?"

"Concern?!" Nico looked scandalized. "We death angels don't feel human emotions. Nothing beats here." He pointed at his chest.

Will frowned at his statement. "Pity. Human emotions are quite fascinating if you asked me."

"We don't need it. Emotions make one person pathetic." Nico said

"Another Pity." This time Will put his hands on the front pockets of his long white coat.

"I don't care." Nico walked passed him. "You need a rest."

Will looked back at the retreating figure of the death angel. Most of the time, he was annoyed at Nico because he was always grumpy and angry and cold-hearted. But there were teeny-tiny moments that Will couldn't help but feel amused every time Nico was going to throw random things that were out of his character, like throwing a you-need-a-rest line. It was a mere statement from Nico's own observation rather than a show of sympathy or concern but still...

So, there were also times that Will would question if death angels didn't really have emotions….