#‘you’ve started a [blank] collection’
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makismei · 2 months ago
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in the same universe as this :,) cw: toy usage, hint of brat taming, hints of sadism & machoism, 18+ content, overstim, dubious consent, soft :(
“you’re doing it again,” he deadpans, knocking your thighs open, “keep. them. open.”
pearly slick oozes from your cunt, soiling the newly washed sheets and sticking to your inner thighs. toji sits in front of you, a blank look on his face but you know how he’s truly feeling from his eyes.
lidded and intently focused on your poor, leaky cunt, he mindlessly goes through a small box on the bed, feeling around for what feels interesting.
it’s your box of sex toys. the ones you used before you started dating the man in front of you. it’s been a while since you’ve reached for them, since it feels like toji knows your body wayyy more than you do, and also because he gets you there, he doesn’t let you escape until you’ve gone brainless from all the orgasms he’s blessed you with. why would you ever need to do the work again?
but toji isn’t all too familiar with adult toys. of course, he knows about the basics—dildos and vibrators, but when he accidentally stumbled upon this little treasure box of yours (his own words), curiosity took over him. he’s never seen pieces of silicone and plastic look so lewd, and the look on your face was so precious, he just had to try them.
“hmm,” lowly, he calls your name, “what’s this?”
heavy eyelids blink open, registering what’s in his hand before you shoot up, attempting to scurry away but your bed isn’t that big and his reflexes are out of this world—
“that’s a reaction,” he grins, eyeing the small red toy, shaped like a flower. “you used this one a lot?”
you shake your head, cheeks burning and eyes welling up with tears. crocodile tears, toji raises a brow, beckoning you to continue.
“‘s too much, it..” you trail off, breaking your gaze, but his hand guides you back, gently thumbing your cheek.
“you’re in control baby,” he whispers, “i won’t do anything you don’t want, you know that.”
of course you know, that’s why you let him do whatever the hell he wants with you. and frankly, him using that cursed little rose toy is making you more excited than you thought.
“it… made me squirt for the first time…” you squeak, speeding up with each word spoken, “i only used it a few times because the first setting was already too m—hold on, waitwaitwait—”
“this?” he drags you back, spreading your legs to make room for himself, “m’ gonna have fun with this.”
“toji,” you weep, anticipating, and he knows, a soothing hand caressing your thighs and waist, “m’ nervous.”
and toji knows he’s sick and utterly deplorable, because your reaction is turning him on. he’s excited, out of the few he’s tested already and the others yet to come, he has an inkling of a feeling that this one will be his favourite.
“s’ okay,” he coos, “what’s your word, gorgeous?”
“ginza…” the city you met him in. a little corny, but it works.
he hums, smiling. “you ready?”
you nod, shyly looking up before correcting yourself, “yes.. m’ ready.”
it doesn’t take him long at all to figure out the buttons. there’s only two after all, the power button and the other one that controls the settings.
the buzz makes you tense up, but you relax slightly under your boyfriend’s loving touch.
he spreads your lower lips with a thumb and pointer finger, whistling lowly. he lazily collects your juices, smearing it over your clit.
with bated breaths, you let out a quiet cry when the suction latches onto your swollen clit. back arching almost immediately, toji’s shocked by your reaction. he grins, amused. cute, he thinks, watching you drool and squeal.
you’re surprisingly still, muscles tense and lost hands trying to find purpose.
would it be too much if he started fingering you?
you let out a long wail, head jolting to look down at him. he’s smirking, pleased with your shocked expression.
but he’ll be nice, for now, only sliding in one finger as he eyes your reaction.
it hasn’t even been long, maybe just over two minutes, but by the telltale squeeze of your cunt on his finger he knows you’re cumming.
“already?” he laughs, crooking his finger just right, “no way.”
“i—i told yooouuuu!” you’re absolutely gone when he presses against that little spot inside of you, screeching as your body locks up. toji feels his finger being pushed out, a stream of liquid following, splashing lewdly from your cunt.
and god, just at the sight of you, the sounds you’re making—he’s about to lose it. but he grits his teeth, using a free hand to quickly hold himself off.
he takes the toy away, turning it off, but still stimulating you with his thumb. your body starts quivering from all the pleasure and it’s been a while since he’s seen you cum like that; he worries for a moment that he pushed you too hard.
but he lets you ride it out, quiet sobs of pleasure filling the room. your head is turned to the side, shaking hands covering your face. he praises you softly, leaning down to press a sweet kiss to the inner side of your knee.
when he sees you’ve calmed down, he gently moves your hands away, pressing a kiss to your tear soaked cheeks, both sides, before kissing you deeply. you moan, throwing your arms over his shoulders.
when he pulls away, he cradles your face in his hands. “how was that?”
it feels like a fire ignites beneath your skin, his stare rapt and focused only on you.
your eyes shift away, meek and ashamed, “i liked it…”
“don’t get all shy with me doll,” he grouses, “i gotta know how you feel.”
your hips are still twitchy, eyes glazed over. “toji,” you whine softly, tears pooling in your eyes yet again and this time he’s actually worried. “m’ not lying… it felt so good, but i’m really embarrassed.”
“baby,” he coos, chastely kissing your lips, “s’ okay, s’ nothing you need to be embarrassed about.”
he turns you both over, so you’re laying on his chest. you listen to the sound of his heartbeat, steady and true. the warmth of his body is soothing, his fingers tapping up and down your spine.
“toji,” you call, meek and unsure. he hums.
“i love you,” you mutter, raising your head, “i know we don’t say it a lot, b-but—”
he smiles, all the way from his lips to his eyes. his entire face lights up, “if i knew making you cum real hard makes you a softy—ow! okay! don’t bite me!”
he’s laughing, hand brushing the hair from your face. “i love you. more than you’ll never know, doll.”
it’s resolute, he’s so unashamed that it’s annoying.
you grumble, hiding your face in his chest. your breath stutters when you feel his cock poke your leg.
“sorry,” he chuckles, “he likes you.”
“shut up,” you mumble, hand reaching back. it’s searingly hot and heavy in your hand. you can feel one of his veins pulsing under your touch.
“sweets,” he panics, “s’ okay, jus’ leave it… holy shiitttt..”
you whine, thighs quivering at the feeling of his leaky tip pressing against your slit.
“tojiii,” you drool, looking up at him, “i want it.”
he rubs a hand over his reddening face, unsure. need is taking over him, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to hold back. “baby, can you handle it?”
you nod, “yes, yes please,” you call his name, drawn out and needy and fuck, he’d be a shit boyfriend if he doesn’t give his lady what she wants right?
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niennanir · 2 years ago
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Listen to your elders
So last week I posted abut the importance of downloading your fic. And then three days later AO3 went down for 24 hours. No one was more weirded out by this than I was. But while y’all were acting like the library at Alexandria was on fire I was reading my download fic and editing chapter eight of Buck, Rogers, and the 21st Century. And also thinking about what I could do to be helpful when the crisis was actually over.
So first off, I’m going to repeat that if you’re going to bookmark a fic, you really need to also download the fic and back it up in a safe place. I just do it automatically now and it’s a good habit to get into.
But let’s talk about some other scenarios. Last October I lost power for over a week after hurricane Ian. Apart from not having internet or A/C I did find plenty to do, I collect books so I had plenty to read, but maybe, unlike me, your favorite comfort reads aren’t sitting on a bookshelf. So let’s do something about that, shall we?
In olden times many long years ago around 1995 we printed off a lot of fic. It was mostly SOP to print a fic you planned to reread and stick it in a three ring binder. And that’s totally valid today too, but you can also make a very nice paperback with a minimum amount of skill and materials.
Let’s start with the download; Go to Ao3 and select your fic, we’ll be working with one of mine. This method works best with one shots, long fic tends to need a more complicated approach. Get yourself an HTML download
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Open up the HTML download and select all then copy paste into any word processor. Set the page to landscape and two columns, then change the font to something you find easy to read, this is your book, no judgement. This is all you have to do for layout but I like to play a little bit. I move all the meta, summary, notes to the end and pick out a fun font for the title: 
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No time like the present to do a quick proofread. Congratulations, you’ve just created your first typeset. On to the fun part.
Now you’re going to need some materials:  8.5x11in paper ruler one sheet of 12x12 medium card stock (60-80lb) scissors pencil pen or fine tip marker sheet of wax paper white glue two binder clips 2 heavy books or 1 brick butter knife
You’ll also need a printer, if you’re in the US there is almost a 100% chance your local library has a printer you can use if you don’t have your own. None of these materials are expensive and you can literally use cheap copy paper and Elmers glue.
Print your text block, one page per side. Fold the first page in half so that the blank side is inside and the printed side out:
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use the butter knife to crease the edge. Repeat on all the sheets. When you’ve finished, stack them up with the raw edge on the left and the folded edge on the right. I used standard copy paper, because you’re only printing on one side there’s no bleed to worry about. Take the text block and line everything up. Use the binder clips to hold the raw edge in place.
Wrap the text block in the wax paper so that the raw edge and binder clips are facing out. I’m going to use my home built book press but you don’t need one, a brick or a couple of books or anything else heavy will work fine.
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Once the text block is anchored down, take off he binder clips and get out the glue.
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You can use a brush but you don’t need one, smear some glue on that raw edge.
Go make a margarita, watch The Mandalorian, call your mother. Don’t come back for at least an hour
In an hour smear some more glue on there and shift your brick forward so that the whole book is covered. This keeps the paper from warping. While glue part 2 is drying we’ll do the cover. Get out your 12x12 cardstock
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Mark the cardstock off at 8.5 inches and cut it. Measure in 5.5 inches from the left and put in a score line with the butter knife (the back edge not the sharp edge)
Carefully fold the score line, this is your front cover. You have some options for the cover title, you can use a cutting machine like a cricut if you have one, you can print out a title on the computer and use carbon paper to transfer the text to the cardstock. I was in a mood so I just freehanded that beoch. Pencil first then in pen.
Take your text block out from under your brick. Line it up against the score mark and mark the second score on the other side of the spine
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Fold the score and glue the textblock into the cover at the spine. Once the glue dries up mark the back cover with the pencil and then trim the back cover to fit with your scissors.
Voila:
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I’m going to put this baby on the shelf next to the Silmarillion.
The whole process, not counting drying time, took less than an hour.
If you want to make a book of a longer fic, I recommend Renegade Publishing, they have a ton of resources for fan-binders. 
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kisses4reid · 2 months ago
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scare | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,, (part 1)
synopsis - you’re in a relationship with some one else and have a pregnancy scare, both your own reaction and spencer’s makes you realise that you’re not happy.
genre - bau!reader x spencer, friends to lovers, multi-part, pregnancy scare, reader has sort of a douche bf, one sided love (at first), angst and fluff
warnings - pregnancy talk, mentions of sex, unhealthy relationships, stress, sickness
w/c - 1.4k?? take a guess cause that’s mine.
a/n - i’ve got 9 weeks free. yeah, i have a job. and yeah, i have about 6 other hobbies i enjoy. but am i gonna make promises i can’t keep about writing more?? yeah. i am. here, enjoy. (pls lemme know abt mistakes it’s rlly late at night rn.)
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The plane whirrs, small chatter from Morgan and who you assumed to be Penelope over the phone humming along with the music you try to distract yourself with. It isn’t working.
Because every song has its own special and quirky musical instrument that happens to sound like a message notification. And you keep getting your hopes up.
Your left leg started to bounce, your fingernails found their way to your anxious teeth. And Spencer noticed.
He noticed about halfway through the case, when you stopped talking as much, started drinking an influx of water, started discreetly taking pain medication. At first, he thought it was a simple stomach bug, and he knew your stomach didn’t agree with a lot of travel. But then you started getting nervous.
Spencer glanced at you a few times before moving, sitting next to you (attempting to be discreet). He can’t be discreet though, because every time he’s around you, his body does this weird thing where it can’t decide whether it should be instantly calm or instantly more nervous. Your presence stopped his fidgeting hands, his tired thoughts. But god, when he looked at you, it’s like his heart wants to see you for itself.
And right now his heart hurt, why were you scared?
You barely noticed Spencer sit down, usually you would, but your phone was annoyingly blank, silent. You turned it off and on three times, and re-entered the plane’s wifi password five times.
And now your stomach was grumbling, and not in the way that those nice small sandwiches can help out with.
“Are you okay?”
You jumped, taking your earphones out and staring at Spencer surprised. You laughed nervously, quietly, “Spencer! Sorry. Yeah, I’m fine.”
His warm eyes searched yours and for a second you could ignore the tight feeling in your chest. It made you think back around 8 months ago, when Penelope, your childhood best friend and now co-worker, created a pros and cons list for both Lloyd, and… Spencer.
It was unprofessional and inappropriate, especially when you decided to listen because you had nothing better to do. And especially when she started making some good points.
He squinted his eyes, and you sighed.
“Sorry, I’m just a bit antsy. Feeling a bit… off.”
You felt sick, and stressed, and like your thoughts were going to be the cause of your death. Because you’ve never been sick like this. And to your overworked brain, it only meant one thing.
Spencer’s a great profiler. And although the team collectively agreed to not profile each other, it becomes hard for Spencer when the girl he’s in love with is so obviously in distress. Even worse when he can’t be the hero.
“I can leave you to sleep if you want.” He says, getting up to leave.
“Oh, no. That’s okay. Honestly, I think sleeping would just make it worse.”
Ah, right. Travel sickness, Spencer thought. He gaps his mouth slightly and nods. He relaxes into the couch and looks over to you, heart picking up slightly as pieces of hair fell from your loose ponytail.
You looked over to the table he was previously sat at, the book you gifted him last Christmas open and nearly finished. You smiled to yourself, but it was bittersweet.
“You’re actually reading it?” You asked, looking back at him with slight surprise.
“Of course. I’ve read it 6 times already, it’s a great pallet cleanser- Just like you said in that Christmas card!” He smiled childishly, like he was recalling the first snow.
“I know right! It’s so simple but interesting, I mean I’ve only read it three times but to me I always found it to clear my head.”
Spencer angled himself towards you, “Did you know that the author actually interviewed his daughter’s teachers to see what ages teachers were more invested in compared to class sizes? He said in an interview that depending on a students intelligence, there’s an underlying emotional connection made between student and teacher,” he took a breath, “It plays into the intelligence to ego ratio that so many people claim isn’t true. Which I’m not trying to say you have a big ego, or that I do-“
You waved you hands, “Woah, woah. Why would I think you’re talking about me?”
He furrowed his eyebrows, “Well, you’re very intelligent.”
“Oh!… Thanks for thinking I’m intelligent, or smart.” You shrugged, “But I think you insulted yourself. You don’t have a 187 IQ for nothing do you?”
“You remembered my IQ?” He laughed nervously. His smile warms your chest like a candle. Like that candle he got you randomly in April, after you mentioned your favourite one being used up by your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend. Ugh.
You smile falters for only a second, “Of course. You only mention it to every person that second guesses you.”
He nods and smiles, “Must be my ego.”
You laugh, subconsciously bumping your shoulder with his. But- Jesus. Your stomach is queasy.
“Hey, uh, do you want some travel sickness pills?” He reached over for his satchel but you grab his forearm and smile as convincingly as you can.
“No, no. We’re landing soon, but thank you.”
You’re overreacting.
That’s what he said. When you texted your boyfriend of a year and a half that you thought you were pregnant he said, You’re overreacting. Two words, two hours after your first text, on his day off.
Maybe you are. You started feeling sick on a slightly more gory case, it’s lasted ever since the case started, you get travel sick as well.
The headaches are from the computer screen and stress. The stress is from fatigue. The fatigue is because of the lack of sleep. The lack of sleep is because of the headaches.
Why do you always do this? Always thinking that there’s something wrong with you. Always being the biggest person in your own life, selfish.
But… what if?
There’s a sudden squeak from behind you, and you instantly snapped out of it. You took a deep breath and looked at your surroundings. You were at your desk, standing, the strap of your bag clutched in your hands - god, your knuckles were white. Your eyes darted in surprise and confusion, and you jumped once again when Spencer spoke into the silence.
“You okay?”
“Um…”
You didn’t look back at him, only looking down at your shoes and taking a deep breath. You plastered on a smile despite the bile collecting in your throat.
“Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve gonna go, the bus leaves at um…”
You took out your phone. He didn’t even respond to your text asking him to pick you up.
“I’ll drive you home. But uh, I gotta pick up some groceries. I hope you don’t mind.”
He curved to your desk and gently took your bag from your hands, glancing at the way you traced your knuckles and how the leather strap now had slight wrinkles in it. He smiled, warmly. And he started walking like you rejecting the idea wasn’t an option.
Which is wasn’t, because he knew you too well.
“Well, a cucumber actually has 3% more water than watermelon. So if you really want a refreshing snack, cucumber is your man.”
You smiled and raised your eyebrows in interest. He’s had many vegetables and fruits in the basket, not a lot of protein. Explained a lot.
My man, you thought with a smile.
My man, you shivered.
“I don’t like cucumbers.” You said like it was distraction, and he nodded, picking up some kewpie mayo as he you around to the next aisle. He glanced at you,
“I know. You say it’s tasteless. I like it.” He shrugged.
“I know.” You smiled, and he smiles back.
God, you wish you could bask in it, the warmth. But your chest was still tingly, and your heart hadn’t stopped aching ever since you got excited about an email notification.
“Hey, are you sure you’re okay? I noticed you’ve been tense for like… a week.” He grabbed some pasta sauce and put his hand on your shoulder to turn you around - you obviously looked too far into your own head.
“Yeah, just feeling-“
“Y/n.” He turned to you, stopping your venture into the dairy aisle. His eyes were hard, worried. The fluorescent lights swayed slightly. A worker walked by the end of the aisle with a trolley full of food.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t,” he lifted one arm, wanting to rest his hand on your upper arm, to help you, “Don’t say sorry. Just tell me what’s going on.”
“I have been feeling sick. That’s true. And I’ve been stressed and, thinking a lot. A lot.”
It felt weird to nearly tell Spencer about your relationship problems. It was like complaining to a doctor about healing crystals. It was like a slap in the face. Maybe that’s why you never did tell him about it, because it was facing your fears.
It was the pros and cons list made by Penelope.
But I’m overreacting.
“It’s nothing.”
Spencer sighed. You had that habit, of nearly opening up, and then shutting the door just as he was about to walk in.
You heard his sigh.
“Okay. I gave Lloyd my car because he has the day off, and he likes going to his friends houses on his days off. And, I told him something that should probably freak him out. But he doesn’t really care. I don’t think he really cares, about anything. At least about me.”
You started walking, because holy shit you’ve never said that out loud before, and Spencer followed you,
“Y/n, if you want to tell me something-“
“I think I’m pregnant.” You stopped, and started picking at your fingers, acting as if it was admitting to not knowing your left and rights, or that you don’t really like coconut.
His eyes widen, and his heart drops. It was like his worst nightmare coming true- jesus, how could he even think about himself right now? The girl he loved felt trapped with a man she thought might be the father of her baby.
Spencer gulped, “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
You looked at each other, scared, you more than him. And then you cringed,
“God, I’m sorry Spencer. I shouldn’t have said anything-“
“No- Y/n, it’s fine. I’m glad you told me-“
“I haven’t even, like, taken a test yet-“
“Wait so-”
You spun on your heel and looked at him exasperated.
“So… let’s go get some tests.” He said (he hopes) calmly. He was really trying, to pretend to be calm and collected. That’s what you needed, a clear head to replace yours.
He paid for everything, even the 5 pregnancy tests and the over sized lollipop you put in the basket to ease your nerves later on.
The moon was high, you were about three hours late to get home now, and your head was attacking itself with rambles and aches and honestly, you were sick of it.
You shivered, huddling in your jacket and drawing only slightly closer to Spencer. His silence was like a hook, drawing you in closer and higher and taking every word you had been thinking that day to the tip of your tongue.
You looked up to him. His hair fell into his eyes, the breeze reddening his cheeks slightly.
It’s Spencer. You’ve known him for nearly 6 years, but it feels like you’ve known each other for ever. You know everything about him, and he knows everything about you. Well, not everything. He doesn’t know how you feel in your own apartment, how every anniversary had been forgotten even when it was the ‘1 year’ mark, how you felt like you were raising an over grown child who could drink.
He knows you’re strong, but admitting all that? I’d look weak.
You have looked weak in front of Spencer. He stayed overnight in your hospital room, he held you when you watched a little girl die, he wiped your tears when you watched a sad short film during your break.
You couldn’t hide anything from him.
“I don’t think I’m pregnant- Well, I mean I might be, but there’s a very low chance,” You started, Spencer’s jaw clenched for a millisecond, “I’ve just been feeling sick and… it could be because of stress from work, or just general stress- like, I don’t know.”
Spencer moved the grocery bag to his other hand.
“Kids are great, don’t get me wrong. Some people don’t get the chance to have kids. I mean…” You gulped, and Spencer finally looked down at you. But now, all you could do was stare at the car park’s concrete floor. Speaking out loud was like clearing your brain, the fog was lifting. “Lloyd doesn’t want kids. I do, at least in the future, not right now. I just hope it’s not with-“ You cut yourself off, and slow down a bit. Spencer matches your pace.
I just hope it’s not with him.
He gulps, and clears his throat, looking down at you with understanding eyes, “With everything that’s going on.”
“Yeah… yeah. You know, my job, my…” It’s no use lying to Spencer. He knows. He’s known, for a long time.
Your chest was tight, and you made eye contact with the pregnancy tests lying on top of Spencer’s groceries. The thought of going home, rushing to the bathroom, avoiding your boyfriend who was already waiting angry, made your throat close up. Because only now, when you were three hours late from work and ignoring his one attempt at a phone call, Lloyd texted, ‘I think you need to calm down.’ It was a bare minimum, and finally Spencer could see you realizing it.
No, ‘Wre you okay?’, ‘What’s making you think this?’ ‘Where are you?’
No. He was making you out to be the crazy one, the one to be over thinking, over bearing, too much.
You were confused. To put it blankly. And scared. And questioning your life decisions. And honestly you just wanted to curl up in a ball and to have Spencer make you bad cucumber salad at his warm apartment.
You looked up to Spencer but he was already looking down at you, reaching for his keys and nodding, “You can come to mine, it’ll be okay.”
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gay-dorito-dust · 8 months ago
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Batboys with reader who has a silly collection of stickers and puts them over their faces, their suits or their weapons (most of them with silly encouraging phrases to cheer them up lol)
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Dick
He bought you a set of stickers once and ever since it’s been his ultimate downfall but in the most humorous way possible.
Dick has a sense of humour, he didn’t mind a couple of stickers here and there, even going so far as to keep the cute cartoon mushroom stickers that you’ve left on his escrema sticks as your personal touch on his belongings.
He even once woke up to a face full of them and when he asked your reasoning as to why, you only shrugged your shoulders and said ‘I thought it’d be funny to see how many stickers I can put on your face without waking you up.’
Dick takes the whole thing in stride and in good faith and loves the fact that you went out of your way to cheer him up through your cute but inspirational stickers. It was almost as though you knew that he needed a little pick me up that day and did so tenfold by coating his hands in stickers that reminded him of your deep care for him and his mental health.
So nowadays Dick doesn’t mind waking up just to see his face covered in stickers and instead smiles and goes about his daily routine as though nothing was out of the ordinary.
Jason removed his red helmet from his hand and could only stare at the stickers that littered across the sides and back either a blank stare as Roy practically pissed himself with laughter.
‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, how did I not see this?’ Jason muttered under his breath, scratching at sticker of a cartoon Robin holding a stick in its beak.
‘Oh there’s nothing to be ashamed of in a little self expression Jason,’ Roy snickered, ‘but I didn’t peg you as the type to collect stickers and cute ones at that.’ He then points to a particular sticker on his helmet of a cat hanging from a branch followed by the saying; just hang in there.
‘piss off.’ Jason told him. He knew something was a miss but didn’t know what it was and now that he knew, everything was starting to make a bit more sense. For starters you didn’t kiss his helmet like you usually did before he left of patrol, almost as though you didn’t want to ruin something on his helmet that he didn’t see, at least not at that point in time.
He should’ve known because you’ve pulled this stint with his guns before in the past but what you didn’t know was that he kept a few that were now a little worn and faded. So while he appear a little peeved that you have took it upon yourself to decorate his helmet, he was a sentimental guy deep down who loved anything and everything you’ve given him and treasures it with his entire heart.
Jason’s a secret sap when it comes to you and knows that he’ll come to laugh at all this at a later date as he recalls all of it to you when he comes home, already envisioning your reaction when he’d inevitably calls you out on it, knowing that he could never stay mad at you for very long. He physically couldn’t and refuses to when all you were trying to do was lift his spirits.
You were too sweet for him but he wouldn’t want it any other way.
Damian
Wants you to take them off at first, how was he meant to be taken seriously if he was covered head to toe in stickers, ridiculous.
He thinks them childish unfortunately
However when you do stop putting your stickers across every one of his belongings for a brief stint, he begins to realise the true intended purpose behind them, and would begin to leave subtle hints that he wanted you to go back to coating everything he owned in stickers in his own way of apologising.
He’s stubborn but he cares for you and what you meant to him and if planting stickers on the sheath of his sword on the premise to uplift his spirits, then who was he to stop you from doing so. He wasn’t use to someone going out of their way to try and cheer him up and was more use to isolating himself from everyone in his room and just draw out his innermost feelings.
So you covering his face, suit and or weapons with stickers with cute and uplifting words was something he needed time to get use to, but once he does he tries to keep the stickers that had long served their purpose within the pages of his sketch pad as a keepsake of your thoughtfulness towards him.
This portion of his sketch pad is kept under a lot of secrecy on his part but you find it eventually because of course you do.
Damian wasn’t use to someone caring about him as much as you did and in a more unique way than littering the hilt of his sword in stickers made to make his day just that a little better. Damian, much like Jason, keeps a sticker or two on his weapons but in places where it would be harder for others to spot and would run his thumb over it whenever he felt that he needed your presence.
Tim doesn’t mind you putting stickers on his stuff, he’s pretty much unbothered by it and would just accept the fact that this was your way of saying that you’re thinking of him and his well-being. Tim knew you well enough to understand what you were trying to say through your stickers from the stickers you used consistently.
However due to his egregious sleep schedule lead to many instances where he would wake up to his face covered entirely in stickers, and at first he thought it was the lack of sleep that was making him see things but soon realised that his face was indeed covered in stickers, and would silently stare at you through the mirror as you tried hard not to laugh.
He threatens to plaster your face with stickers next time, he does follow up on his promise but that’s a story for another time.
To Tim it was almost as if you had just made up an entirely new way of communication through stickers, he’s even got them categorised based on their subliminal messages and what you were trying to tell him through them.
He appreciates the stickers and would even find himself smiling at them on the odd occasion and run his fingers over them gingerly as to not accidentally peel one of them off. He loved your unique way of cheering him up and would get a little sad when he sees that someone them were starting to fade or become worn, only to feel a warmth spread throughout his chest when he saw new stickers next to the places of the old ones.
Each and every sticker had it’s sentimental significance to him and if Tim were to ever find out that you didn’t have anymore stickers to spare, he would buy you more sets and act like he didn’t have any part in this despite the parcel having his name on it.
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stillgotscars · 2 months ago
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there’s only one more eras show left, meaning:
one last transition from “applause” into the “you don’t own me” countdown
one last eras tour intro
one last “oh HI!”
one last “does anyone here know the lyrics to this bridge? PROVE IT!”
one last “you’ve got me feeling really, extremely… powerful”
one last “LET ME! SEE YOUR! HANDS!”
one last “what an absolute honor it is to say these words to you: [insert city], welcome to the eras tour”
one last “so you and i, we’re about to go on a little adventure together”
one last endearing “i’ll be your host this evening, my name is taylor”
one last fearless twirl
one last “it’s fearless” followed by the entire crowd holding up a hand heart
one last “are you ready to go back to high school with me?”
one last *clap clap* during you belong with me
one last heart-warming 22 hat exchange
one last comical quip from kam during wanegbt
one last “do you have 10 minutes to spare?”
one last extravagant ballgown appearance for all of one (1) song during the speak now set
one last “1, 2, 3, let’s go bitch!”
one last “do the girls back home touch you like i do?” *shakes head*
one last “don’t blame me for what. you. made. me. DO.”
one last “and so we’ve brought the folklore cabin to [insert city]”
one last minutes-long standing ovation after champagne problems
one last august run
one last illicit affairs bridge in all its glory
one last “and i can go anywhere i want, anywhere i want, JUST. NOT. HOME.”
one last lighting up the entire stadium with phone flashlights for marjorie
one last thunder and lightning transition from marjorie to willow
one last willow coven dance
one last golf club swing during the blank space bridge
one last pavlovian stress response during bad blood as a lasting consequence of the original set list
one last collective gasp when the pyro starts during bad blood
one last archer pose before so high school
one last roomba appearance
one last alien abduction metaphor brought to life during down bad
one last the smallest man who ever lived bridge being cathartically scream-sung by thousands of people all at once
one last attempt to make taylor break during the icdiwabh skit
one last “i’ve been doing it since he left” note change
one last “try. and come. for. my. job.”
one last surprise song set
one last stage dive after just causing mass emotional devastation
one last garter reveal
one last “except when i’m on tv” pose
one last vigilante shit performance
one last “do you have time for one more song?”
one last final bow as confetti falls to the ground
eras tour (march 2023 - december 2024), you will be remembered 💚💛💜♥️🩵🖤🩷🩶🤎💙🤍
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xazse · 1 month ago
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I need a mermaid satoru and suguru (With pussies) x male reader where they both found the reader washed up and started to fight over him and who to marry him so they both started giving dowry every time and when they noticed it's working they offered their body instead, and you couldn't choose so you married both
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Cw: Mermaid!SatoSugu x Male reader + they have pussies + smut + not proofread + fingering + nipple teasing + pussy eating? + rushed writing sorry + lots of cum mentioned + penetration + you have a big cock
Notes: FOR EVERYONE ASKING FOR MORE MERMAN!SATOSUGU (this is it for a while I won’t be doing part 2s until I finish my original request) <333 thank you and love u guys!!!!
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“Satoru he’s breathing he doesn’t need mouth to mouth idiot..”
“Just in case, I can feel his breathing pattern delayed!”
“Stop-“ you can hear rustling and splashes of water slightly being thrown on your face-
“Toru, Toru-stop he’s waking”
A moment of silence passes before you finally open your eyes with a loud groan, your body feels like you’ve been thrown against the wall multiple times, and the other two men quietly bickering isn’t helping the throbbing headache.
Two faces pop up in your field of vision, looks of interest and curiosity beam right through you, two very beautiful men, strikingly beautiful are staring down at you with blank faces. A clicking noise bounces off your ears and suddenly the one of the two men are helping you sit up properly.
“Argh…” you wince in pain and grab the mans wrist, without realizing it you hold it in your palm too hard and he whines in pain, you pull away quickly and muster out an apology.
You look towards your helper and come face to face with strikingly blue eyes and a messy tuft of white hairs that stop a little below his neck, and he’s completely shirtless, you look further down and see his tail… his tail? A mermaid?
Have you drunk too much? His counterpart is staring at you between his long black hair that cascades around his built body, he’s also a mermaid, well their merman but how?!
Satoru and Suguru you learn their names, are fully real and not fake and you are not dreaming right now, they explained they found you coughing on water unconscious, so they swam up a little onto land as much as they could and stayed to care for you. You also learn that you’re very far away from home and it won’t be till awhile that you’ll be back.
While you wait you get to know you roommates a little better.
After months, almost leading up to a year, you can say you’ve become pretty close with Satoru and Suguru, you learn of their different personalities and just how they work in general.
The friendliness you’ve experienced from both of them has slowly started to fade into romance, you can see it in their eyes when they look at you that they are completely smitten, you can see it in the way they subtly and adorably try to find any excuse in the book to touch your arms or your chest.
They love you in their own little weird ways, Suguru bringing you little treasures he finds deep within the oceans, you always gratefully accept them and add them to your collection of trinkets, you love when his smile brightens at your overexerted reaction.
Satoru loves bringing you things he thinks are tasty in the ocean, he’ll bring you fish that he loves and things he thinks are sweet, he’s the one who loves touching you the most, giving you sweet hugs with his semi-wet body.
They start getting a little more pushy with you, it’s like they’re trying to one up each other with the types of gifts they give, when you’re given something the other can be heard making angry clicking noises in the back, you don’t understand what he’s saying but you know he’s pissed.
You try your best to calm them down when they get like this, it gets so heated to the point where they’ll try to fight one another, you’ve seen blood be shed before and the only thing that works is praising both of them in the same breath, they’ll stop with flushed looks as you coo and tell them great things about one another.
The gifts start increasing and the value of them starts growing, every gift becomes more and more sentimental and more filled with love, they keep doing it because you keep accepting it.
When they have no more gifts to offer they make it obvious about what they’ll give you in return for your love.
One evening when it’s just you and Satoru alone he makes the first move, looking up at you with the cutest look and a paint pink dust decorating his face, he guides your thick hand to grace all over his body, you don’t think he knows what he’s doing but at least he’s trying. You grab ahold of his chin rather harshly and press your lips to his, you aren’t known to be gentle when it comes to sex but you try for the little virgin.
You’re taking full control of the kiss, sucking on his tongue as his heady head tries to understand and follow your lead. He’s drooling into the kiss and gasping for air, his eyebrows are knitted in concentration. It feels so good having your tongue entangle with his.
He grabs your other hand that’s not distracted and places his “lap” you don’t get the memo of what he wants you to do until he uses your hand to dip into a slit you didn’t even know he had, you’re taken aback a bit but continue when you get a whine out of him. Oh.
You finger his tight slit with one finger and eventually build your way up to three, that seems to be the max for him because when you try adding a fourth he’s breaking the kiss, and stopping you, with an even reddened face claiming that feels weird.
In the process you look at how wet your fingers are, completely coated in his slimy mess of cum, you’re examining up close and an embarrassed Satoru is hiding his face in the crook of your neck, whimpering for you to stop staring so intently at it.
When you bring the wetness to your lips and he’s completely red in the face, before you can even talk he’s shuffling back into the water and diving within the depths.
Suguru hears of the events that had taken place and is immensely jealous, he wanted to be the first one to touch you but Satoru had beaten him to the punch.
That doesn’t deter him from making a move on you the very next day, you immediately accept his advances with a passionate kiss that’s gentle unlike your rough demeanor with Satoru, you know he’s a little more sensitive than his counterpart.
You take the opportunity to rub Suguru’s pecs, you’ve always loved the size of them, they look like boobs and are just as sensitive as the rest of him, sweet moans spill from his bitten lips when you suck on the bud harshly, nippling on them for extra stimulation.
You loved the way Satoru tasted, you would’ve kept going if he hadn’t left so with the details of his body you find Suguru’s slit and begin to tease him, dragging your fingertip along the outside as he waits with bated breaths for you to finally give him what he wants.
You maneuver yourself below him, a small whine slips from his lips because he thought you’d touch him properly, you quickly hush him in favor of getting face to face with his cunt. You lick a straight line up and find that he tastes so damn good.
He’s fast to grab ahold of your hair harshly, when you peek up at him as much as you can there’s little tears in his eyes, he’s never had that area licked let alone touched before, he’s just like Satoru.
You grab ahold of his sides and hold him down a little, you won’t allow him to run like Satoru now that you’ve gotten to taste him.
You dip your tongue inside his heat again and again, even when Suguru’s making his cute distressed clicking noises you’re still so focused. Collecting as much of his cum as possible just to smear it everywhere. You continue exploring and making him feel so damn good, when a small scream breaches his throat you know you’ve found his spot.
Lewd slurping noises ensure as you abuse that spot and Suguru isn’t fairing very well, his vision is spotty and his hold of your hair is slowly slipping away, he can’t even form a coherent sentence without gasping for air.
You press inside of him a little harder, tongue fucking him as fast and roughly as you can so he can experience that euphoric feeling.
When you shift you realize you’ve been neglecting your cock, it’s throbbing and painfully uncomfortable within its confines, you slip your hands beneath your trousers and touch yourself in tune with your tongue fucking Suguru’s cunt.
He stills for a moment and screams but nothing comes out of his throat, it’s silent as he thrashes around or at least tries to, you’ve got a tight hold on the pretty man.
His pussy tightens around your tongue and finally he’s cumming on it.
When they come to you a week later with determined faces and serious questions do you put your foot down, you can’t choose when you love them both equally so you give them a proposition of having them both, they both give you blank stares and look at one another.
They hadn’t thought of all of you being together and the thought of that doesn’t bother them in the slightest.
That night might be the best night you’ve ever have experienced:
A needy Satoru is below you waiting patiently and prettily as you ready his cunt for your cock, before this you had to explain to them almost everything you’d do to them, they had acted shy but you know deep down they’re little minxes who’ve been waiting for this. Suguru is beside him decorating his face with sweet distracting kisses, the moment looks so sweet as they take in each other in a different light.
You finally undo your pants and let your thick cock free, you’ve been getting edged basically this entire week, only giving them pleasure and having to relieve yourself after they leave.
As they deepen their kiss and exchange saliva you catch them peeking at the mere size of you, you’re not little by a damn longshot, Satoru is grateful you and Suguru prepped him.
It feels like everyone is holding their breath as you slide inside of Satoru’s warm cunt, just having your tip alone feels so fucking good, you can feel his cushiony insides already accepting you in small intervals.
You try your hardest to start slow, trying to not only focus on yourself. Your veiny cock throbs with every push, his slick already covering the area of your cock.
“Feel’s good Toru?” Suguru slurs into the nasty kiss he’s pulled him into, Satoru nods eagerly.
The pace is slow and sensual for a while, trying to let him get a feel for it, and when that grace period you decide is up you’re gone.
You start fucking into him how you like it, roughly abusing his tight slit to your liking. Suguru keeps distracting Satoru from the mind numbling pleasure that’s your cock, he can’t help that his loud whimpers and clicking noises are spilling from the kiss.
“O-oh.. shiit..” you’re grunting out gross comments about how you’ve been wanting to do this for so long and how you can feel him about to cum.
You have Suguru pin him down a little since he’s starting to thrash around, you get a better angle to pound his poor weeping cunt, he’s mewling your name like a mantra, for you to slow down but at the same time he doesn’t want you to slow down.
Your nice curve allows for you to finally hit his sweet spot, you abuse it just like you did Suguru, hitting it roughly and deeply.
Satoru squeals for you to stop and how weird he’s feeling but Suguru is the one who tells you not to stop your pace, Satoru is thrown headfirst into his orgasm, he cries into Suguru’s chest as the pleasure devours him whole.
With a dripping cock you slowly pull out of him, giving your still hard cock a few strokes, you came along with Satoru but it wasn’t enough not nearly enough.
They think that you’re satisfied but when they glance over at you the color drains from their face more specifically Suguru’s, knowing you’re about to give him that same feeling if not a little worse.
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chiscaralight · 3 months ago
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men with a black reader who starts wearing a cute stack of waistbeads ! he doesn't notice immediately you get them, but they catch his eyes so quick once you’re pulling off your shirt to change into sleep wear. they look so good sitting directly on your belly like that! they highlight the dip in your waist and the curve out of your hips—he just has to feel them.
and you’re slightly jumping at his cool tipped fingers brushing your exposed skin, single digit hooking the decorated ropes and he pulls into him by your beads. you quietly scold him. you don’t care that he could buy you new ones; these were custom made and your favorites, he has to be careful!
but he’s not. nowhere near actually, because he’s gripping and pulling at them hard as he fucks you back onto his cock. your mind is blanking, fingers gripping the sheets and crying out in pleasure as he slams you onto his base over and over again. his tight hold on your waistbeads has you deep in his grasp; unable to run away from the numbing pleasure. but he’s not satisfied just yet–there’s one more thing he needs to be sure of.
the sound! it’s just as he expected, a beautiful cacophony of plastic hitting plastic mixing the loud noises of skin on skin as you ride him. with each pound, your beads are clack, clack, clacking in unison and it’s making him groan into your against you.
he also just loves the way they feel. when you’re finally done, all fucked out and limp laying on the bed, his hand rubs up and down your side, enjoying the way the beads feel against his palm. it’s also perfect for aftercare, he does it for so long! totally not because he broke one of your loops of beads and is trying to get you to sleep quicker so he can brush the little pieces of evidence of the bed.. totally not.
after that (and a handful of yelling when you realize what happens) he buys you so so many! custom made, any time he sees a bead store, anything he sees online, you end up with such a collection you don’t know what to do! neither of you mind though, it’s much easier to color coordinate with your outfits now, and you’ve both made a little game out of it. if he can guess the colors right before you show him, maybe he can break a couple more later in the day!
CHARACTERS: this is literally toji lmfao, gojo, geto, tartaglia, aventurine, kinich, sukuna, kaeya,arattaki itto, shikanoin heizou, boothill, sampo, wriothesley, jiaoqiu, + your favs!
a/n: can you tell i’m projecting cus i love my waistbeads lmao
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seiwas · 10 months ago
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if art can be touched, will you let me hold you? | nanami kento
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wc: 7.2k
summary: ​​you press love into each piece of art you create, and nanami wonders if you’ve ever been loved that way.
contains: f!reader, non-curse!au, ceramic artist!reader, pov switching, slowburn, reader wears a skirt, food mentions, bad breakup (mentioned), mentions of art critiques, almost explicit sex, it’s love without words.
a/n: a concept and fic i didn’t expect would be so dear to me; there are some very small personal touches in this but the main inspiration for this is ‘we’ve been loving in silence’, but some bgm are ‘can’t take my eyes off you’, and ‘make you feel my love’.
ao3 (needs account)
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
part of the in's and out's new year/birthday event | request prompt: showing ‘i love you’ in all the ways you aren’t used to
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CLAY. Take your material of choice; turn it over, get a feel of it. Is it a suitable medium for your art?
You first meet Nanami in the halls of an echoing applause. 
The host’s spiel is muffled through the walls, but you know the program flow like the back of your hand—you’ve rehearsed your entrance every single day since being invited to announce your upcoming exhibit. In just a few minutes, your name will be called. 
Yellow cue cards slip through your fingers, scattering to the floor as a result of the haste from your last minute touch-up just moments before.
“Shit,” you curse under your breath, checking the time. 
As you crouch low, a pair of brown Derby shoes land in front of you—long and thick fingers reaching for your cue cards on the floor. The time on his wrist matches yours, each second highlighted in the stark contrast of a dark face and silver exterior. 
You’re quick to receive his help, taking the cards into your hands as you lightly graze his fingertips. When you look up, you’re met with sharp lines—an angular jaw, eyebrows set straight; a pointed nose and his cheeks carving out hollow shadows.
A geometric study on blank canvas. 
It’s embarrassing, the way you fluster and bow, thanking him with a stutter as you’re brought back to the urgency of the matter by the sound of your name being called out. 
The rush to the conference hall has you breathing heavily, the nerves hitting you full force as you step up the stage, nearly tripping at the last step. Hues of blue, yellow, purple, and green lights glare at you, and when the host hands you the microphone, you chuckle nervously, clearing your throat before addressing everyone in the room to thank them for coming this afternoon.
Your exhibit is called ‘What is the Face of an (Un)Touched Soul?’—a collection of ceramic sculptures molded to the realism of a human face, with the soul imagined as varying patterns and colors that fit each featured individual. 
It’s been half a year since you started, with three out of six sculptures completed already. Two are in-progress, and you have yet to find a subject for one more; there are six more months for you to complete everything.
The audience sounds their applause, sophisticated claps and nods a familiar tune in the many years of your sculpting career. Critics in the room jot down their thoughts, reporters holding up microphones and recording devices to cover your announcement. 
You smile wide, the rehearsed kind. 
And at the end of your presentation, stepping down the stage, you spot him again. 
You think to approach him in that moment, to thank him properly instead of the fumbling mess you’d choked out in the hallway—but you’re pulled towards a crowd of reporters and critics, recording devices pushed just below your chin as you watch him disappear into a sea of faces not nearly as interesting as his. 
.
You meet Nanami again in the bustling morning rush at the bakery near your studio. 
The past few weeks have been head-down and tedious, late nights working on painting some of the last few pieces for your exhibit. One of them is of your niece, 5-years-old in mint and white innocence; your brushstrokes are featherlight, softly accentuated by sponge dabs—a slate barely filled in, with room for more colors to appear with time. 
Another is of your neighbor, an old man whose eyes have seen war beyond your comprehension—a retired soldier, a veteran of the military force. He plants primroses by his windowsill, the pastel yellow a stark contrast to the life he’s lived in red; neither of the colors cancel each other out, neither of them blend. You drag harsh strokes against his jawbone while smoothly gliding watercolor across his eyelids. 
The people in your sculptures have sparked an untapped curiosity within you—for stories, for lives, for souls and what those might look like. 
You bump into Nanami on his way out, the sandwich in his hand falling to the ground as you frantically attempt to pick it up.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” you turn over the sandwich, checking for any holes or openings in its packaging, “Let me–”
It only registers that it’s him when you notice the same brown Derby shoes, the same watch with that dark face and silver exterior, the same geometric perfection on his face when you look up and finally come eye-to-eye with that same fixed stare. 
You clear your throat. Well, this is embarrassing. 
“Let me buy you another sandwich.”
He doesn’t exactly look angry, expression set in straight lines, but you can’t tell for sure—there isn’t much you can go by.
“There’s no need,” he dusts off the wrapper, “it’s still sealed.” 
“Please, I insist,” you pat down your skirt, linen rough on your fingertips, “As a thank you too, for last time.” 
He arches a brow, and for a moment you worry that you’ve remembered him wrong—honey blonde hair and features you’ve been intrigued by since. 
“You insist.” he repeats, clarifying more than questioning. 
You nod. 
He sighs, checking his watch before pocketing his sandwich and turning back to open the bakery doors. 
The silence in line to the counter is awkward. Nanami remains impassive, hand tucked inside his pocket—you can’t read a single thing about him.
“I was meaning to thank you after the exhibit announcement,” you start, turning slightly to face him before looking ahead again. 
He hums. 
“But I couldn’t find you, so…” 
He hums again. 
The lack of response makes you nervous and quite honestly a bit irritated. Here you are, trying to be nice, and all you’re met with are dry—
“It’s no problem, but that’s thoughtful of you, thank you.” he finally says, “I didn’t expect you to remember.” 
A pause. 
“I’m sure you meet a lot of faces in your line of work.” he further clarifies, in case his earlier remark had offended you. 
You snort, “I wish.” 
The line moves forward.
“Ceramic faces, maybe. People not so much.” 
When you glance at Nanami, the look he returns is still characteristically inscrutable, but you think the corners of his eyes soften just a bit—to feel for you maybe, you hope, you think. 
The line moves quickly after that, and next thing you know it, you’re by the cashier, pointing at one sandwich for you and another for him. You buy him a cup of coffee too, just as an extra kind gesture (—for his time; you’re sure he has places to be and people to see), but he stops you. 
“Coffee’s on me.” he pulls out his card. 
“Oh,” you look up, surprised, “you don’t have to do that—”
“It’s only fair,” he nods as the cashier punches in the order, “now we’re even.” 
You attempt to rebut, but find no room for argument in the unbending weight of his gaze. 
An interesting man. 
You watch him stand by the claiming booth, hand in the pocket of his khaki suit. Nothing about him feels cohesive, yet he makes it work. Artistically, from a sculpting standpoint, the sharp lines on his face would be an interesting challenge—but beautiful, nonetheless. A study of near-perfection, you think. 
And it would seem obvious, that from the rigid cut of his jaw and the sharp edges of his cheekbones that he’d act just as pointed. 
Except, he doesn’t—a stark contrast to how much of a gentleman he seems to be. 
His blue shirt stands out when you’d assume he prefers subtlety, and it’s ridiculous, but that yellow cow print tie feels simultaneously out of place but so fitting. 
He walks toward you with your coffee, sandwich resting on his forearm.
“Thank you, Mr.—” you smile sheepishly, “Sorry, I don’t think I got your name.” 
“Nanami Kento.” the corners of his lips lift slightly. 
“Mr. Nanami,” you repeat, introducing yourself right after.
“Thank you as well.” he adds on as you both walk towards the doors. 
Something tells you this is a missed opportunity. Something tells you there’s more to learn about this interesting man and what lies beneath his straight-faced sincerity. 
The chatter from the bakery is replaced by the city’s breaths—cars passing, dogs barking, footsteps on pavement rushing to get to their next destination. And you and Nanami stand by the entrance, neither knowing how to say bye. 
“Do you come to this–” 
“My studio is just by the corner, so–” 
You quickly look at each other. Nanami bows his head slightly, hand gesturing for you to go first.
“Sorry, um,” you tuck your sandwich in the crook of your elbow, “yes, I come here pretty often. My studio is just around the corner, so I drop by for quick meals when I can. You?” 
“It’s on the way to work most days.” 
You nod, humming. 
Another awkward pause.
“I hope you–”
“I should get–”
You look at each other again, a bit more amused this time. The slight wrinkling of his eyes is impossible to hide.
He gestures for you to go first again, but you shake your head, offering him instead. 
“I hope the pieces for your exhibit are going well.” 
“Thank you,” you smile, bowing your head slightly.
That ‘something’ in your brain speaks to you again. 
“Actually,” you begin, “sorry if this is weird, please feel free to decline, but,” you shift your weight, “I have one last piece to do and I was wondering if I could ask you.” 
Nanami looks taken aback for a moment, eyes wider than normal as he processes what you’d just said. 
“Ask me… for an opinion?” he clarifies. 
You mentally facepalm yourself—you really should have made yourself clearer. 
“Sorry, no, I meant,” you take a deep breath, fingers fiddling with your skirt, “if you’d like to be the subject for it.” 
The expression on his face is as indecipherable as ever. 
.
.
.
MOLD. Be familiar with your art, learn more of its intricacies. What will you shape it to be? 
In the most unexpected play of events, Nanami says yes, but not without his hesitations. 
You explain your process: the selection of a subject, an interview to get to know them better, then a few meetings at the studio to create the mold of facial features before coating it in plaster. 
Never in his entire law career did Nanami ever think he would be into art, much more be chosen to be the subject for it. But he figures, if anyone were to get him to do things so wholly out of character like this, it would be you. 
After all, he’s been a fan of your works for a while—from your third exhibit up to your seventh one now. 
People love paintings and the strokes on canvas, admiring textures and blends of colors bleeding into one another; Nanami loves sculptures, a mixture of materials and techniques forming an object with more than one viewing plane.
“Have you always loved sculpting?” he asks, sitting still on the wooden stool in your studio. 
A few meetings have gone by by now, and he’s told you a few things about himself for this to be a comfortable enough way to spend his Friday night: he’s a lawyer in a firm he’s co-founded with a good friend, evenings being the only free time in his schedule; he lives alone in a two-bedroom apartment and his neighbor’s cat often lands on his balcony every morning; he likes coffee and tea, paperback books and music from the 30’s and 60’s. 
He chose to be a lawyer to correct the shitty system that’s vowed to help but has instead made it difficult for anyone genuinely trying to be good. 
“I started with paper craft first,” you mold out the slope of his nose, looking back and forth between him and the mass of clay on your desk, “you know that 3D looking paper art that kinda pops out of the page?” 
He hums instead, careful of any slight movement that may disrupt the pose you’re trying to replicate. 
“And this?” 
Your metal scraper drags on the sides of the sculpture’s nose, sharpening it as it narrows to the bridge. 
“I picked it up in college, was an outlet to keep me company during that time.”
The PR answer. 
Nanami knows most of your general story; pamphlets and exhibits always give a run-down of the artists’ individual histories. You’d started sculpting as soon as you entered college, a need for company while in a completely unfamiliar place with no more home to return to. It was all or nothing, and as the sculptures grew in number, so did your popularity—you are by no means a fresh name to the scene 10 years later. 
“Why do you love it?” he looks you in the eye. 
You pause, holding his gaze for a few seconds before looking away, focusing on the chunk of wet clay between your fingertips as it turns more pliable.
“It’s gotten me through a lot.” you sigh, attaching the piece of clay to form his lips, “Touching clay feels therapeutic sometimes, and you can tell from how it looks if it’s been molded with love.” 
The stillness in your studio is extra quiet, filled only with the faint sounds of your fingertips sticking onto clay; he doesn’t quite know what to say. 
“Sorry, that was cheesy.” you scrunch your nose and pout. 
He chuckles, a low laugh, “Not at all.” 
You lock eyes, the curve of your lips upturned. He feels his eyes soften around its edges. 
It makes sense, and he thinks he can understand; there must be a reason why he loves books with creased spines, why he prefers weathered pages—why the scratches on his vinyl records don’t bother him as much as it should. 
.
You both like your coffee without milk, just with a bit of sugar for yours. 
Nanami’s taken up baking, specifically breadmaking, in his spare time—he brings you sourdough the next Friday you meet. 
Your studio is an organized mess, scraps of clay decorating the otherwise bare and white space. To the left of the room is a large cork board filled with pinned sketches and some color swatches—a visual representation of the creative chaos in your mind. 
A whiteboard to its right holds your schedule, and everywhere across the room are your art pieces—on shelves, in glass cases. He assumes most of them are the versions that didn’t make it, considering that the ones that have are either auctioned off or left as collector’s pieces in exhibits and art museums. 
“That’s the first one I ever made.” you sneak up behind him, biting off the sandwich you hastily put together.
The sculpture is smaller than the busts you’ve made for your current exhibit, but it still occupies a third of your shelf. It’s unlike any of the works you’ve ever done, but he supposes it makes sense, given how much your style has probably evolved over time. 
The piece is a lot simpler in comparison to the edgy twists most of your works now contain, but the little girl fast asleep in the sculpture begs questions he’s not sure how to ask you—if he even should. 
He continues to stare, clearing his throat; you eye him knowingly and snort. 
“Just ask, I know you want to.” 
The texture of the carved blanket catches his eyes, the ripples and creases made to conform to the girl’s curled up figure. There’s a sadness underlying her comfort, a search for security while being wrapped in a bundle of safety. 
“Who is it?” he asks.
You pause before you answer; he’s worried he’s crossed a line. 
“Me.” you admit, a near-whisper. 
He hums, back still faced towards you. It explains, then, why he’s always felt an underlying sadness beneath the creases of your smiles. 
When he turns his face to the side, an attempt to catch your eyes, you look away, diverting. 
“Which one introduced you to me?” you gesture towards the rest of your pieces. 
As it’s come to be, Nanami’s learned that you’re good at that too—creating curves of deflections, pockets where you can hide when you feel something’s gotten too close. 
He plays along, turning around to view the expanse of your studio; it’s amazing, how the art pieces that stack shelf upon shelf all boil down to your hard work. You briefly mentioned that you haven’t taken a break from creating because you still don’t believe you deserve it.
“It’s not here,” he puts his hands in his pockets, “the one with the hand clutching a heart.” 
‘Unhand’—his favorite piece of yours; he’d seen it in one of the museums he had to visit for one of his clients. Hyperrealistic branches of veins and arteries running across an anatomical heart, every curve and indent a carefully placed texture to bring your piece to life. It comes clenched in a hand, the veins streaming across each finger while blending into those of the heart’s—at first glance, it’s impossible to tell where one ends and the other starts.
It’s a different view from each angle—that’s why he likes it so much, along with the graphic nature of it. The pain feels vivid, real.
“Ah,” you run your fingers across your work table, fiddling with the small pieces of clay before taking a seat again, “that one.” 
Nanami follows but he doesn’t say anything, resuming his place in front of you in the usual way he’s done the past few weeks.
“I didn’t think I was the type to be moved by art.” he confesses, sitting still as you continue the final work on the clay wisps of his hair.
You encourage him to go on, nodding along. 
And he does, watching the way your steady hand forms features that look uncannily like him, if not better; strands of your hair always fall from behind your ears and he’s almost tempted to tuck it back to where it came from. 
He tells you of the pain he feels from that piece, how it presents itself in different ways depending on the area you focus on—the constricted blood vessels, the buildup of pressure from a vein blocked by a thumb, the strain of muscles at the back of the hand. 
A small smile makes its way onto your face, slightly sad but somehow relieved, “Didn’t expect you to be such a poet.” 
“Must be from being around you so often,” he responds.
And if it’s a trick of the light, a part of him sinks at that possibility—he thinks your smile stretches wider, suppressed only by the shyness trying to hide it; no pain whatsoever. 
Unexpectedly, you share with him the story. Not the filtered version, but the one just as raw and vivid as the sculpture made from it—a failed relationship that had you clinging onto sculpting as your lifeline. You spare him some of the gruesome details but hint at it enough that he can fill in the gaps on his own.
You tell him that you’re a people pleaser, you’ve learned—it’s the only way you can view that relationship with grace, that at least you understand yourself better because of it. That even when the grip on your heart wrung tight enough for each beat to hurt, you still clung on with all your worth. 
(Now you know you shouldn’t have.) 
People have come to you with stories of their own, sharing how much your art means to them. Critics write articles, both good and bad, detailing the technicalities of your work. The applause follows you everywhere you go, yet it has never touched you—has never gotten too close. 
If your art has touched others, has listened and spoken their truth in your handiwork, who does that for you? 
.
During one of the last few Friday meetings, you offer to teach him how to mold clay. 
He looks at you curiously, watching the way your fingertips pinch and squeeze, how they glide to smoothen the material and press down to create indents on the surface. 
“Do you want to try?” you ask, gaze still set on his sculpture in front of you. There’s a teasing edge to your tone, one that’s developed over the months of getting to know you more. 
“Would that be troublesome?” 
You laugh at his rigidness. 
“Of course not.” you push your piece aside, standing up to gather clay from the mound of it to your right. You lay down a wooden platform for him–his own little workspace–and slam a chunk of clay atop it, “I think you might be good at it actually, since you like making bread.” 
The movements are familiar but not entirely the same. He rolls up his sleeves, blue cotton pinching at the creases of his elbows; you hand him an apron to protect the rest of his clothing. There’s not much kneading involved, not much palm action too, but he learns to move his fingertips with a force he can only compare to creating little dimples into focaccia dough. 
You teach him how to make a bread basket—something practical but beginner-friendly; something he can use and keep as a reminder of you. 
The trickiest part of it is mimicking the rattan weavings, and you notice him struggling with it when his strips of clay begin to break. 
A screech fills the room as you push back your chair, standing up to go behind him as he attempts to salvage his work.
“Here, let me–” you reach over his shoulders, flattening some of the cracks from above him.
You’ve never been this close before, the thin strands of hair dusting your arms tickling the sides of his ears. These past few months, he’s watched your hands press and pull and form, turning each detail of his face into art. It’s only now, right next to his larger and rougher ones that he’s noticing just how small and delicate yours are. 
It’s dainty work, weaving and braiding. He attempts to do it again, but the clay only falls apart when he pulls too hard. 
You stifle a giggle, the vibrations tickling his back, “We might take a while here.” 
“I don’t mind.” he mumbles.
“You sure you don’t have anywhere else you’d rather be?” you lean forward, pressing closer until he feels your warmth against the back of his head, “I feel bad, I’ve been taking up most of your Friday nights already.” 
It shouldn’t mean anything; he shouldn’t feel anything—you seem to be unfazed; art is meant to be taught by doing.
But then your hands go over his, guiding them to lift each strand of clay gently before interweaving them with one another, and he thinks—
—this must be what it feels to be touched by art. 
So, no. 
There’s no other place he’d rather be. 
.
.
.
DRY. Give it time, let it settle. Watch your art come into form. Is this a good foundation? 
“Will you be free next weekend?” 
His question surprises you as you stand in line at the bakery. You tend to catch each other at just the right times almost everyday, saving a spot for whoever’s running a little late. 
Today, it’s you, rushing in slightly frazzled with your hair sticking out which way; you’d just finished up molding the sculpture late last night, letting it rest out to dry. Nanami’s head is turned towards you, hands in his pockets as he directs the same pointed gaze you’ve become all too accustomed to.
You must have forgotten to mention it. 
“Oh,” you turn to him, “there’s no need, our sessions are over.” 
His silence makes you nervous, just like it did the first (second) time you met.
Did you upset him? Did he already cancel plans to free up time for your studio? 
The entire trip to the cashier is quiet, but you find that he’s ordered ahead for you—your sandwich order and a cup of your usual coffee. He pays for it too, despite your refusal (and confusion). 
It’s when he hands over your drink by the corner of the room that he finally speaks. 
“Not for a session.” 
You tilt your head curiously. 
The coffee feels warm on your hand, and you think you see the same warmth at the tips of his ears, dusting it light pink. He coughs, fingers clenching around his tie before loosening it. 
“For a date.” 
.
You begin to take up his weekends now, too. 
Since that day at the bakery, when you’d nearly dropped your coffee before stuttering out your availability, you’ve already gone on seven dates (to you, at least; Nanami would officially count three). 
He insists on still visiting you every Friday, bringing you dinner as a reminder that you should eat on time and not the moment you’re keeling over from a rumbling stomach and a pounding headache. You count these as dates too—because what else do you call spending time with someone you like while having night-long conversations over good food? 
(Nanami creates a distinction though, prefers his dates to be more planned out and intended. On the three official dates you’ve gone on, he’s brought you to three different locations—a weekend market, a picnic by a lake after you’d mentioned something about it, and a vintage record shop on the outskirts of the city, a place he frequents often). 
The near-perfection you once thought of the man, a geometric study on canvas—he’s still every bit of it, still every bit as interesting as what he seemed, just in a completely different way. 
For a man typically so nonchalant, he is extremely particular about his tastes, borderline picky with trusted company. 
Nanami enjoys coffee (as expected), but the fermented filter kind, dripped down a V60 pour over to extract different notes of sweetness and acidity. You’d think he enjoys a straight black, face stoic enough to handle its bitter bite; but no, his jaw clenches when he dislikes the taste, his tongue sounding the faintest click against the roof of his mouth before he downs the entire thing in one gulp. 
He also happens to be extremely gentle, in a way you don’t expect from a man of his stature and build. Veins run through the back of his large hands, branching to webs around the thickness of his fingers; they may not be delicate enough to weave clay, but he carves out different patterns on the sourdough he presents to you every Friday. 
The first time he held your hand, it wasn’t exactly planned—an instinctive move to reach out his palm as you climbed the steps of the spiral staircase in the record store out of town. You’d barely felt it then, just the featherlight hold of his thumb pressed against your knuckles as you gripped the fabric of your skirt. 
(To your surprise, he kept it up all the way through, slipping his fingers through the gaps between yours as he showed you around vintage vinyls and the sound of love in muffled 60’s tunes.)
You imagine him to be like clay, a softness hardened over the years that have shaped him; smooth but solid to the touch, breaking into powdered shards once you manage to work your way through. 
It’s unexpected, but you like that. 
And you like him—quite a lot, really. 
This date–the tenth, or fourth, whichever–is a lot fancier than all the others, a more formal dinner with a few glasses of delicious wine whose name you by god, don’t remember. You’d been too focused on something else—the handsome way he’d slicked back strands of his honeyed hair. 
Black suits him, contrasting the paleness of his skin and complementing the sharpness of his features. 
Black, the color of his suit, pressed neatly to fit him perfectly. He looks clean, broad shoulders with straight slacks falling to exactly where they’re supposed to be. 
Black, which is the only thing you see, pressed up against him. You’re so close by your doorway, that half-minute of deciding whether to stay or walk away; he has one foot behind him and one firmly planted right next to yours. 
You share a breath, fingers lightly intertwined with his. 
There had been signs the entire night that it would lead to something like this—he’d played with your fingers a lot more, kept much closer to you than he ever has before. 
Every sound around you is amplified—each inhale and exhale, the gulp he makes; your heart beats on rampage.
When you look up, your noses are almost touching, and his eyes are shut, the crease between his eyebrows deepening. 
It’s a look you’ve only seen once before, when he’s stuck contemplating. 
“Kento,” you whisper. 
His eyes blink open slightly, the color of your coffee. He leans forward, forehead resting against yours as he takes a deep breath, “I–”
Then you kiss him. 
It’s mostly a peck really, and wholly out of character for you, but it’s that same something that compelled you to ask him to model for your sculpture months ago that’s pushed you to do this right now. 
You’re worried for that first split-second because he doesn’t move, shows no sign at all of reciprocating. It’s a moment before you consider parting that he finally softens, relaxing his lips as he glides them over yours. His fingers slot themselves by your ear, palm pressed against your jaw as he deepens it; you almost stumble back, his other hand catching your weight as it leans on your door. 
It’s a good thing you did this then, because you learn that he likes you too—very much, actually. 
.
Things are good a month until your exhibit. 
Things are good until they aren’t. 
You end up reading a premature critique on your exhibit, calling it ‘overrated’ and ‘boring’, detailing the trajectory of your decline as an artist, citing your works as having become increasingly more lackluster over the years. 
The critic calls your theme ‘lazy’ and ‘unoriginal’, predicting your pieces to be nothing extraordinary or different from your older sculptures. 
All this time, your publicist and manager have made it a point to protect you from things like this, requesting that you avoid searching up your name on social media or search engines. You’re usually fed with praises and the occasional constructive criticism, but never anything as spiteful as this. 
It’s every possible thing that could be said to invalidate your hard work. 
And you break because of it—along with Nanami’s sculpture.
It tips over accidentally, the funk in your mood making you especially clumsy. 
The damage is terrible, half of his face is gone, his neck down still intact but chipped off. It’s impossible to repair without redoing the entire thing—which, you don’t have the time for, either. 
You groan, banging your head against the table. 
Frustration leaks out in your tears, every inch of self-doubt surfacing. 
Nanami finds you in your studio that way. 
He’d texted you the entire day, tried calling you a few times to no success. It’s a Thursday, but without your usual ‘just got home’ text, he’d gotten worried and rushed over as soon as his meeting ended. 
If he’s being honest, you’ve been off this entire week—stressed and distant, overworked from revisiting all your finished sculptures for the exhibit in case of anything to change or tweak.
Then this. 
And it’s too much—it’s all too much. 
Nanami calls your name from your entryway and you look up with tears streaming down your face. He’s never seen you like this, you could never want him to. 
He hurries over, brows immediately furrowed as he digs into his pocket for a handkerchief. The cow print would make you giggle on any other day, but now, he uses it to wipe your tears away. 
“What happened?” his gaze shifts to your right, his sculpture half-ruined. 
Silence. 
“Is there anything I can do?” he asks hesitantly. 
You shake your head, swiping at your nose, “It won’t look the same, Ken.” 
“Do you want to redo it? I can clear up my schedule every–”
“There’s no time.” 
Nanami takes your hands to rub his thumbs over your knuckles, soothing. 
“Then we’ll do what we can.” 
The sincerity in his voice hurts you, the reassurance in his eyes even moreso. You’ve never had anyone look at you this way. 
“There’s no point.” your shoulders slump, lips trembling as another wave of tears pool on your lash line. “People are calling the exhibit a flop.” 
“Who?” 
You huff out, exhausted, “I don’t know, critics, media. Whoever.” 
He furrows his brows, firm, “They don’t understand what you’re doing.” 
You chuckle sarcastically, “They’re art critics, Ken, of course they–” 
“If it means something to you, what does it matter to anyone else?” 
That makes you look up. 
Nanami stares at you with the same unwavering gaze, no longer indecipherable to you. There’s a softness in the squint of his eyes that you now know means concern, with every pointed feature only meant to drive his words home. 
You’ve been second guessing everything down to the core of your abilities, because of what? A few words? This must be what you get for having a penchant to people please, for hinging on everything everyone has to say. 
“If you love what you create, then continue to make it.” he squeezes your hands, as if pressing the words into your bones gently. 
.
You remold and repair, and you build up your sculpture to something different but not worse than before. 
You remold and repair to build up yourself. 
The half that broke off isn’t as symmetrical as you’d like it to be—and it definitely doesn’t do justice to the man it’s sculpted of, but you think you like the softness you added to it, how his eyes look kinder. He means something else to you now, after all, compared to when you first started sculpting him. 
And you think, you know just what kind of design speaks of his soul. 
.
.
.
PAINT. Add the final touches, perfect your piece. Bring it to life with colors and details, whether it be for one pair of eyes or many. Do you now see?
Nanami teaches you how to make bread on a Sunday morning. 
Flour coats every surface of his counter, dustings of it transferred to the deep blue of his apron. You’re wearing a white one, borrowed from your studio. Elbow-to-elbow you knead, and he only has to teach you once for you to get the hang of it, really. 
He smirks, “You’re a natural.” 
“Must do stuff like this a lot in another life or something,” you stifle a giggle, playing along. 
It’s a beautiful day out, golden sunlight hitting your cheek—Nanami stares, sneaks peeks between every knead. The same strands of hair tucked behind your ear fall to frame your face, and he hooks his pinky around it to tuck it right back (because he can now, without having to hesitate). 
You turn to him, daylight in your eyes when you grin your thanks. 
His kitchen has an open space, deep wood and black metal detailings as its central theme (the white bread bread basket you made together stands out on the counter, but he’s done that on purpose). There’s a pretty extensive collection of alcohol in his liquor cabinet, along with his very particular coffee set-up right next to his record player slotted in the corner. 
On Sunday mornings, Nanami likes to keep his music playing; today, it’s the classic 60’s–’Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’–serving as your background beat, with the soft meows from the cat on his balcony as added accompaniment to the melody. 
He watches you sway, his feet tapping along, then you jolt, giggling in surprise when there’s a hiccup in the song (it’s from the scratches on his record, but he can’t bother replacing it with a new one). After that breakdown in your studio, you’ve seemed to loosen up immensely. 
“Ken,” you call him, “how much pressure do you usually put into kneading?” 
There’s no way to explain it, really, but to make you feel it yourself. 
“Let me–” he lets go of his dough, dusting his hands with more flour before coming up behind you. 
Nanami is a big man, tall and lean, all chest and shoulders—when he hunches over you, you look so small, delicately tucked into him. Heat rushes to his cheeks, if you turn around you’d see pink; the music is drowned out by his heartbeat. 
He leans forward, palms clasping over the back of your hands, fingers slotting themselves between the gaps of yours. 
“Like this,” he pushes down, his chest pressed against your back. To get a better look at the dough, he tilts his head to the side, nearly slotting it by your shoulder, “Can you feel it?” 
You hum, your swaying gone. He’s trying hard to focus on the bread, but when you turn your head to face him, the tip of your nose touching his cheek, he stops. 
The moment is tense, drowned into silence despite the music playing in the background. He can hear your every breath. 
“Thank you,” you whisper. 
Nanami knows it’s for many things—for agreeing to the sculpture, for spending time on it; for this Sunday morning, for being there when you needed someone the most. But that’s not the whole point of this, he thinks. It’s how you sound, voice heartfelt and filled with something else—a kind of affection he’s all too familiar with himself. 
This must be what you mean when you say you can tell if clay has been molded with love. 
.
In the quiet, Nanami’s hands move loudly. 
He holds you gently, just like he always has, but it’s a permission every time—like he’s asking if he can touch you, love you in ways you aren't used to. 
Your apron falls to the floor, followed by your skirt, the fabric pooling by your feet. The faded gray t-shirt you wear during studio days is tugged over your head, dropped next to him. He takes his time with you, turning you over, feeling you, knowing you—thick fingers squeezing the sides of your arms lightly as his lips press against your neck. 
A gasp escapes you. 
Then you move, nimble hands undoing the buttons of his shirt, pushing it open as you feel across the planes of taut muscle on his stomach and chest. 
He groans, soft and low, your fingers brushing against his skin, ticklish. 
You take a step back and he moves along with you, letting you settle into yourself as you inch backwards, the back of your knees knocking against the edge of your bed. He holds your gaze as you move towards your headrest, your shy smile doing nothing to lessen the butterflies in his chest—you did mention that it’s been a while. 
He kneels on your bed, the mattress dipping to accommodate his weight—his slacks have been discarded to the side as he crawls over you. 
Beneath him, you look like the very subject art could only wish to replicate. 
So, he makes sure to remember all of it—to look close and memorize every detail of you as he dips down, arm planted to the side of your head as his other hand cradles your face, tilting your jaw up for a kiss. 
He catches your lower lip between his, running his tongue over it before sucking lightly. You moan, smooth and honey-sweet, bringing him closer with your fingers clasped behind his neck. The room is quiet save for your lips smacking against each other’s, warm and soft as the heat builds between you.  
Slowly and tenderly, with the same care you tend to clay, Nanami discovers all your dips and curves; he kneads the flesh of your hips, gripping your thighs as he kisses his way down the slopes of your body. 
You squirm in his hold, tugging at his hair when the sensation feels too much, too good. 
(But when he reaches between your legs, arms locking your thighs over his shoulders, you realize, nothing could have ever prepared you for this, for him—he treats you as if you are every bit of the art you make, and looks at you like it too.) 
Then, Nanami kisses you on the forehead when he’s inside you, lips pressing on the part of your skin that creases when your brow furrows. 
A tear drips down your face. 
“Should I–” he looks you in the eye, worried. 
“No,” you breathe out, a watery smile as you nudge your nose against his chin, “keep going.” 
So, he does; he loves you without the applause, with the feel of his hands, leaving no place untouched.
He moves his body against yours. 
It’s only after, when he tucks himself into your neck, arms wrapped around you and skin sticking onto skin that you tell him your tears aren’t anything bad. 
For the first time in a while, you feel full—perfectly content. 
.
He thinks you should be the final piece to your exhibit. 
It’s a grand event, the conference hall decked in some of your previous works; blankets of white cloth drape over the stage—the unveiling of all your sculptures. You’re standing to the side, looking pretty in a long white skirt while Nanami blends among the crowd, far back enough to remain hidden from reporters but close enough to catch your eyes should you look his way. 
You present each one, introducing the titles with brief descriptions of the people they’re sculpted from. The reasons for your designs are left primarily up to interpretation, but you’ve explained it all to Nanami—he’s listened to every single one. 
Then you present his sculpture, finding him through the crowd. The corner of your lips curl up slightly, the stage lights reflecting on your eyes. 
He smiles at you the same. 
‘The Undoing’ is what you call it—half-perfect and half-salvaged. 
It’s far from your original vision for the piece, but you think you like this more, splitting down the part that’d originally broken off into two different colors. His entire color scheme consists of yellows, greens, and browns—the perfected side of his face appears in clean strokes of coffee, with light yellows highlighting his pointed features. The angles are clean and sharp, his gaze straight and dead-on. 
Running down the cracks of the broken half is a sky blue line, an almost glowing effect added to the salvaged side. In a way, it’s an emergence, of the part of him you never thought existed—green wisps like leaves, a life springing from within. You add flecks of gold to mimic light bouncing off his irises the same way sand becomes a glittering sea of sunbeams. 
To you, Nanami is warm but cold to the touch, and he’s undone you just as much, has chipped away at the parts of you that have built themselves over years of habits reinforced and untouched. 
It is as much you as it is him. 
That’s what happens when you love someone, he supposes—an intermingling of souls. 
Kraft paper crinkles in his grip as he adjusts the bouquet of flowers behind him, deep red carnations and orange tulips decorated with white astilbe flowers—for when you get down, and he can have a moment with you privately. 
Now, he looks at you fondly, shifting his feet from where he’s standing. You search for his face, eyes darting to where you know you’ll find him; he meets your gaze, and you smile brighter, that one look ringing louder than the standing roars of an echoing applause.
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a/n: each segment represents the steps to making a sculpture that i tried to parallel with the development of their relationship. V60 pour over is a kind of set-up for drip/filter coffee.
thank you notes: for @mididoodles, this is my very late birthday gift for you midi, but i hope you like it! (this also so happens to be your request for my in's and out's event) 🥺 + @soumies @scarabrat for reading through the first third of this and believing in the vision for this when i was so unsure of it, i love you both 🥺 + @stellamancer for helping me figure out what goes in the 'contains' 😭 + @augustinewrites to scratch the nanami itch 🥺
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comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡
1K notes · View notes
clawsdevour · 5 months ago
Text
his confession
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wc: 1.4k content warning: you’re both in hs!! (inarizaki), established relationship, kita x reader, fluff, not proofread
note: nonchalant kita tsk tsk what a cutie, written for anon! <3
キ*.,"
Time spent with Kita was always blissful ever since you started dating. The cherry blossoms fell from their branches and swayed down onto you both, painting a scene where he stood in front of you.
You always knew him as the sweet and demure friend who’s involved with the volleyball team. Recently, you’ve been noticing the hints Kita’s been dropping around. ‘I can walk you home..’ he’d tell you when it’s getting late. Or ‘Here you can have mine’ when you really wanted something that he has. You find his gestures of kindness tugging the strings at your heart. However, you couldn’t tell if he was his usual good-natured self or if he had true feelings for you the more you got to know him.
It was until that day before he went off to volleyball practice. Kita’s finger gently tapped on your shoulder, inviting you to walk home with him after school, knowing you also had extracurricular activities. Nodding at his subtle request as you usually end up walking home with him.
He made it to the front before you, changed into a plain black tee and shorts from practice. Kita’s standing in the middle, fiddling with his fingers when he heard your shoes clank towards him. His dull brown eyes lit up at the sight of you when he tilted his head up.
“Sorry Kita! Did I make you wait long?” Caught up to him, his complexion is more pink than usual. The energy was a bit off and awkward but nonetheless it’s always comfortable silence, just not this time.
“No, I didn’t wait long,” Kita began to slowly walk down as you picked up his pace while making small conversation with him. ‘How was practice today?’ were some things you asked him, he replied with short clear answers this time.
Coming to a halt, a few inches behind him. His head twisted to gaze into your glossy eyes as he swallowed deeply. You’ve never seen the calm and collected Kita act like this before, it was as if  something was eating him inside. He’s biting down on his bottom lip, as his eyes surged for words.
“I like you.” Time stopped for a moment while you digested his words that rang louder than the last school bell. His lashes fluttered down, thinking the gasp of shock you let out was a negative reaction towards his genuine feelings.
“I understand if you don’t feel the same way–” You cut him off with a warm hug that wrapped around his broad shoulders, altering his sorrowful face in surprise. His big hands catch you and pull you tighter in his embrace. His face in your hair, sniffing the scent of shampoo.
“Does this mean.. That you like me back?” Kita’s pulling you away for a brief moment by your shoulders to glance at your face which was now a tint of pink. His blank smile, turning into a broad grin as if he had won a volleyball game when he asks you this trivial question.
“Yes it does! I always had these feelings whenever I saw or thought of you.. I really like you too,” you’re beaming through your lashes that bat from happiness.
Ever since that small gesture that triggered the event that led to your blooming relationship, you’ve been dating ever since. Of course you both had your own separate lives, especially on campus as you both enter your third year. You guys were rarely seen together now that you were put in different classes as your high school careers continued to grow. 
At the end of second year, he was crowned captain for Inarizaki’s boys volleyball. You couldn’t be any more prouder, but that also meant that he’s going to be even more occupied with volleyball especially with his teammates. These challenges didn’t stop the way you both had an amazing and healthy relationship with each other though. You both promised to communicate everyday whether or not it’s a simple ‘Have you eaten?’ text or a late night phone call, sometimes you guys would meet up when your schedules aligned for some time alone with just the two of you.
You both were pretty discrete when it came to revealing your relationship to others. Especially Kita, he’s more focused when he’s just in the moment. If something comes to mind, he’s bound to bring it up. But when he’s all busy trying to strategize for his team, that’s all he’s gonna be thinking about. At some point you do cross over his mind, usually at the end of practice or an official game.
Kita hasn’t even said anything about dating when it came towards the volleyball team. That was until him and the boys were all changing after practice. The Miya twins are always bickering, but both decided on a delicious place to get food after the team leaves the lockers. They both craved some fresh hot food and wanted the team to come along to celebrate now that Nationals were over.
“Mr. Perfect Kitaa, let's get some piping hot udon once we leave!!! The whole team’s goin’ tonight,” Atsumu’s voice shouted from the other end of the locker room. Immediately turned down with a single hand gesture, as Kita slips on his shirt over his head.
“HUH?? What are ya doing after practice today? Y’ur usually always available!” His loud whining echoing off the walls, while the others are staring back down at Kita.
“I’m seeing my girlfriend today.” Kita’s cold voice froze the whole locker room. Suna’s ears pointed, listening in on the conversation from his head inside his locker. The room radiated with absolute silence, as if waiting for the volleyball to be served across the court. 
“YA got a girlfriend?? When did y’all start dating? Kita, WHY haven't ya told any of us??” Everyone’s eyes and attention were all pointed towards the team captain, darting him in shock as they all tried to process this information that Suna didn’t even know.
“Well you guys never asked–” Everyone’s astonished face rushed towards the half naked Kita who just wanted to put on his pants. Ears are all open ready for his story. Suna’s on his phone, recording the moment as if he were Inarizaki's news reporter.
Atsumu’s expressive face was still stuck in an ‘oh’ waiting for Kita to speak more on his relationship. But right before Kita was able to part his mouth Atsumu’s curiosity got the better of him.
“Don’t tell me Kita… ya got y’er first kiss before I did...” Breaking the intense silence that erupted in laughter. Kita’s thankful for the light weight air that broke through, flashing a smile thinking about where to start with your relationship and how you even met.
“Um.. yeah” looking up at Atsumu to answer his statement, smiling with his eyes while he’s thinking about you. Everyone in the locker? They were beyond gagged. Kita was the first in the group to date, which was shocking considering how Inarizaki’s got the popular Miya twins.
His phone vibrates inside his metal locker, you were calling him to know that you just wrapped up your extracurricular and are now heading out towards the front. Of course, his teammates were dead silent trying to peep into your call. 
“I’m leaving first, I don’t wanna leave my girlfriend hanging” dragging on his coat, fixing the collar before zipping it up. The team’s heads rotate while he grabs his bag on the way out of the locker room.
“We’re definitely gonna spy on him, right Osamu?” was heard on the way out, followed by a “Lets go.”
You’re standing at the front on your phone waiting for your boyfriend Kita, until you hear his voice call out for you from behind. The closer he walked, the more he picked up his speed. The faster he went, the closer he’d be with you. 
“Kinda got caught up with the guys again. I thought they knew we were dating, but I guess not haha.” Kita’s smile is brighter than the sun while hands entangle with yours. But you sensed something that he also brought along with him. 
Peering behind you for a quick glance, you saw the whole volleyball team behind the school building. Especially the one with a phone, and two slick foxes that quickly ducked out of your vision. You thought this was silly and cute, clinging onto your boyfriend’s arm contently before parting your lips to let out a little giggle.
“Hehe, did you notice that you’re getting tailed right after you left?”
masterlist here
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neovillains · 21 days ago
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10,000 TIMES OVER | GOJO SATORU
syn. they would choose each other ten thousand times over.
── gojo satoru & fem-bodied!reader, black mirror!au, futuristic!au, strangers to lovers!au, soulmate!au in an unorthodox sense, alternate universes & different lifestyles, longing, infidelity, angst to fluff, suggestive, minor pairings: gojo satoru & utahime iori, geto suguru & fem-bodied!reader | word count : 7.0k words ( minors, ageless & blank blogs: do not interact )
special note. this fic is based on the black mirror episode, hang the dj. also, please note that every instance is a different universe, so it's a different lifetime for gojo and reader. [ a small playlist ]
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FIRST INSTANCE
It took you two hours to get ready. With hair that is as stubborn as you are, it’s the main culprit as to why you’re running late. In the satin white dress that traverses down your body, what your wardrobe assistant had voiced to be the best attire for this event with a pair of royal blue heels to go along with it. You held up a questionable glance at the ensemble when it was all put together, but again, the artificial assistant persisted that this was the best look for tonight. The baby blue taxi sits in front of your house, the engine running lightly as you jog slowly down the pavement, rushing as the motion sensors of the vehicle lights up and the door automatically opens. 
Hopping in, the robotic hum of the driver comes to life, its stiff neck twisting as it places its arm against the seat of the front passenger side. “Welcome,” the taxi android thrums, speaking your name. “You are ten minutes late. Due to your tardiness, we will be arrive at La Grande past your schedule. Are you fine with that?”
“Yes,” you breathe. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting in this car. With a curt nod, the android faces forward, arms moving to put the car into drive as his foot lightly taps on the gas pedal. The car ride is occupied with the sweet melodies of melodic rain patter as the taxi computer assistant can detect your distress. 
Do not worry, it states, hooking up to your phone data, pulling up your dating app. Gojo Satoru will adore you. You scoff, shoulders dropping as you fall back into the seat. “How are you so sure? You don’t even know if we’re compatible yet.” 
I am trying to offer you words of comfort, the female automated voice states. I apologize if I’m failing to meet your standards. Would you like to complete a survey to help better your experience? 
You roll your eyes, propping an elbow up against the car door as you start staring out the window. “Maybe another time,” you whisper.
This got exhausting. Going out on dates in hopes to meet your match, only for all this effort to go to waste when the data collection to finally be complete and given a low score. Though, Gojo Satoru’s dating profile did pique your interest. A handsome man with strikingly white hair that it looked unreal and blue eyes to match his impossible, the algorithm seemed to be bettering itself everyday for such a handsome man to be paired with you. 
With every dating profile came the standard information. Your date of birth, gender, star placements, and anything that the computer system deemed important. Little fun facts and quirky shows of personality prohibited as it only allowed for everything relevant. He’s a Sagittarius, which seems interesting enough. You didn’t know what to make of any of the information, but you just needed something to keep you busy during the drive. You tapped away on the screen, your recently done cutiles shining as your nails are adorned in simple French tips. A timer starts to flash in front of you, indicating that there are three minutes left until arrival. 
Clicking the power button to your phone, you slip it into your purse as you look through the car window. You can see the restaurant a distant away, ash brown walls and tinted windows as a sign hangs over, a light gray reading its name. You’ve been to this restaurant countless of times before, where you’re sure that the moment you step foot inside, the employees will quickly recognize you. They probably deem you as that girl who has yet to meet her one hundred-percent match yet, finding it completely and utterly embarrassing. 
The moment the taxi was safely parked and the door was opening, you jumped out. Heels clicking on the pavement as your hips swayed with your movement. You stopped getting nervous over these dates a long while ago, but there was something on your chest that made it feel so tight as every step you take sounded against the ground. When you approached the door, you were immediately greeted with a friendly nod as the man reached for the handle, holding it open for you. 
You reached for your phone from your purse and pulling open the dating app, holding it up to the scanner. With a quick chime, the machine before you buzzed as green lit up and your name reading across the screen. Glad for you to finally arrive, it greeted you. Your date, Satoru Gojo, waits for you at booth ten. Good luck!
You started walking over the moment it told you the table number, memorizing the restaurant by heart as you took a right turn. You manuevered yourself past the tables, making sure to be cautious of rushing hosts and waiters before you see the number ten in one of the booth racks. Immediately, your phones buzz the moment you’re in close proximity of one another, calling for the gentleman’s attention before he realized your presence. He lets his phone drop back on the table, standing up tall.
Your eyes widen, realizing just how tall 6’7” is as he looks down at you. You ignore his greeting, it all coming out muffled as you take in his large statue. Instead, you guffaw. “Wow…”
He laughs, pearly-white blinding you as he nods. “Yeah, I get that a lot.” 
He helps you by pulling out your chair, not sitting back down until you do. “I know we know each other’s names already from the dating app, but my name’s Gojo Satoru.”
“Gojo Satoru,” you say, trying his name on your tongue before introducing yourself. He reciprocates, tasting your name on his lips before smiling, “That’s a pretty name.”
You don’t get a chance to comment on his statement when the waitress comes over, a cheery smile on her face as she clasps her hands together. “Hello and welcome to La Grande. I’m Utahime and I’ll be your waitress tonight. Have you guys started your order yet?”
“No,” you shake your head, reaching for your phone. “Can we get a few more minutes, so we can, please?” 
Utahime nods, glancing at the both of you before disappearing from your sight. Gojo scrunches up his eyebrows, eyes flickering from you and back to the waitress. You’re scrolling through your phone and something tells me that he should be doing the same. “I’m sorry, I’ve never been on one of these dates before. What are we supposed to be doing?”
Your thumb stops as you scrunch up your eyebrows together at his statement, bewildered at his admittance. “What?” you gasp. “You’ve never been matched before? That’s one of the first things you do the moment you turn eighteen. How old are you?”
Gojo chuckled. “Yeah, typically, but there’s a route that you can take if you don’t want to initially start. I decided to do that first before I wanted to take things serious.”
“Oh,” your eyebrows raise, sitting back in your seat as you cross your arms. “You’re a little player.”
Gojo meets your challenging eyes, pointing at you. “I didn’t say that. I meant that I focused on more pressing matters than finding my match.”
“Really?” you ask, finding him intriguing. As well as the fact that you could’ve delayed this all if you had known there was a way to. “What’d you do before—” you gesture around you “— all of this?”
“Prioritized college,” he shrugs. “Not that I had much of a choice. It was that or get disowned by my father.”
“So it was your father’s doing that you haven’t started matching yet?” 
“No,” Gojo smirks. “You weren’t necessarily wrong when you said I was a player.” He throws you a wink that you’re ashamed to admit that it made your heart flutter. 
For the rest of the night, the two of you were engrossed in each other’s conversations. You showed him the ropes of the dating app and how it functions when going on dates. Though, you were hoping by the rest of the night, neither of you no longer needed it. He told you stories of his childhood— the positive ones— and telling you what life was like without having to worry about your next date. Not only that, but the two of you seemed to mesh well.
When the time allotted for the two of you had ended, the waitress leading you through the door, a taxi waited for the both of you. “We’re supposed to spend the night together,” you tell him, motioning him to the car. “That’s how the app furthers its data.”
“Oh?” Gojo quirks an eyebrow. He has friends who had found their match early, but he was never interested in knowing the process. Right now, he felt like a toddler learning his alphabet all over again as he stopped in his tracks, watching how you walked so seamlessly over to the car, waiting for the door to fully open. You were a gorgeous thing, the way the white dress hugged onto you as your heels shone in the moonlight. He concluded there that he wouldn’t mind spending a night with you.
The moment the two of you stopped at your new destination, the designated place after all first dates, you punched in the code that you read off the phone before the door swung open and lights started flickering on. It was a cozy cabin that was accommodated to all current technology, but still gave the feels and comfort that it had as portrayed in old television shows from back in 2024. Climbing the short three steps, you turned to watch Gojo following you as he took in the small abode. 
It was spacious, but in the same word, congested. It was all one room, fitting in the living room, kitchen, and bedroom. Only a secluded room for the bathroom. It differed a lot from what he was used to. “This is where we’re supposed to spend the night?”
“Yeah,” you nod. “It took some time getting used to, but we don’t have to do anything. We can just… go to sleep, and wait for the next day.”
“Okay,” he breathes. He followed your words, letting you guide him and show him around. He didn’t have much knowledge on this. His parents only ever spoke good things about the process, but never the finer details of things. However, he remembered them mentioning the process is usually quick. It only took three dates for his parents to find out they were each other’s hundred-percent. However, the way you run around, memorizing everything lets him know that this isn’t even your third rodeo. 
“How many dates have you been on?” That question has you stiffen up, turning your head as you reach for a glass from the cabinet. Your eyes flicker away as you set it down on the marble countertop. 
“Oh, um…” You hum. “This would be my… twenty-ninth, I believe.”
What? “Oh…” 
“Don’t worry,” you try to lighten up the mood. “I’m pretty sure you won’t have bad luck like me. Maybe you’ll find your hundred-percent on the next date.”
You sound so sure that this one will fail. It makes him feel sympathetic towards you, how you’ve grown so accustomed to the failed matches. He inches near you, leaning against the countertop as he grabs your glass. He slides it from one hand to the next as his eyebrows wiggle and a smirk plasters on his lips. “How are so you sure that you aren’t mine?”
You don’t like how he’s gotten you all so flustered. He has a point. Maybe you don’t have to do anymore chasing, spending your afternoons and nights getting ready for a date instead of lounging at home. There’s a possibility that it could be him. However, there’s been guys like him before. Guys that you thought were decent, but didn’t make the cut. You didn’t want to get your hopes up. You didn’t want him getting your hopes up only to feel like a fool.
You don’t answer him, simply going to the fridge and pulling out an unopened bottle of apple juice. You gesture towards the bedroom area, taking the glass from his hold. You ignore the feeling of electricity that runs through your fingertips when your skin touches his. “In the left dresser, there are men’s clothes. You can use the bathroom to get changed while I use the bedroom.”
His shoulders slump, but he nods, body moving involuntarily as his posture straightens and does as he’s told. When he leaves the bathroom, he’s caught you at the wrong time. Fortunately, your back turned to him as you pull on the oversized t-shirt over the night shorts before spinning around. 
The bare skin of your back seemed to glisten under the lighting before it’s hidden away before you’re reaching for the bed sheets and feeling his presence. “Oh, hey!”
The air’s lighter as you pat the spot next to you, the tension from before dissipating as you get under the covers. Over your head, there’s a bonnet that you look adorable in as you find yourself getting comfortable. “Don’t get shy. I don’t bite.”
Gojo smirks. “I’m not too sure of that.”
Underneath the covers, the two of you spend majority of the night talking amongst yourself, speaking into the darkness as the moon wisks itself away and the stars seemingly saying goodbye. Nonetheless, the two of you enjoy each other’s company and laughter before eventually falling asleep. It’s six in the morning when both of your phones chime. To you, it’s the familiar notification of the app announcing that the data has been completed. Might as wel get this over and done with. 
You didn’t realize that Gojo had reached for his phone before you, long having opened up the app as it’s loading. A slew of pearls going in a circle before the numbers pop up on screen. “Oh.”
Through the sound of devastation, you go to look at your phone as well. And while you weren’t trying to get your hopes up when you read that ten-percent. Yeah… Oh. 
500TH INSTANCE
Gojo adjusts his cufflinks, pulling at the fabric of his shirt as the sleeves rise just below hiss elbows. The baby blue shirt becomes more crinkled as he glances at his phone— Utahime Iori is on her way. He’s fidgetting on anything he can find, his stomach starting to growl the longer he waits. He really shouldn’t have arrived early, but listening to the app, he wanted to make a good first impression. 
Are you nervous? The male voice of the dating app assistant sounds in his earbud. Absentmindedly, he shakes his head, grumbling while he’s at it. In a low voice, he responds, “No, moreso annoyed. This is my fifth date.”
I’m sure this one will be just fine, the chirpy male voice responds. I have good faith in this one.
“How are you so sure?” Gojo sneers. “You’ve said this three times before already.”
I’m just giving you positive words to cheer you up, the bot voices. If you feel like my vocal services are inadequate, please feel free to turn it off in the settings. 
Gojo does that, following the bot assistant’s instructions as he goes to the menu. Clicking on the blue slider, he chucks his phone to the corner of the table before a soft, feminine voice calls for his attention. “Gojo Satoru, right?” 
Immediately, Gojo comes to stand, holding out his hand for her to shake. She takes it, appreciating the kind gesture. He takes in the woman— jet black hair and fair skin. She’s pretty, chestnut-colored eyes that seem sweet and friendly with her hair styled down, a white bow in the back, clipping some back. The most noteable thing, however, is the large gash that decorates her face. A few shades darker that her skin, Gojo watches as the light in her eyes falter as she grows self-conscious. Her soft voice alerting him, “Hey, it’s rude to stare.”
“Sorry,” he smiles sheepishly. “It’s Utahime Iori, correct?”
“Yeah,” she nods, with the faint of roll of her eyes. “Just like it says on my profile.”
“Well,” Gojo sighs. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Utahime only hums in acknowledgement before clicking the button at the center of the table, signaling that the two of them are ready to be served. Without having to order, two plates are brought out for Gojo and Utahime. And just like the last date he was on, he’s been given the same dish. A shrimp alfredo with green beans on the side, Utahime a filet mignon. Her plate looking more appetizing than his as he picks up his fork. Usually, he’d start off each date with compliments, his flirtatious personality coming off so easily on his tongue, but he finds himself tongue-tied. So, instead, he tries starting up normal conversation. “So, what do you do for work?”
Utahime darts a look in Gojo’s direction, scrutinizing him. She grimaces at the app’s choice of date for tonight. He’s really not my type. “Did you not read my profile at all or something? I’m a teacher.”
Gojo’s shoulders droop as he comes to realize that it’s going to be a long night. 
When the two of them are brought back to a condominium, one that Gojo’s starting to familiarize himself with, he watches as Utahime kicks off her shoes. “Where’s the bathroom? I need to shower.” 
“Second door on your right,” he voices absentmindedly. Again, she says nothing, only humming in acknowledgement before trudging her way down the hall. Gojo pulls out his phone, opening the app as it still reads ‘Collecting Data…’ He lets out a sigh. Why couldn’t she be like my second date? He received the results within twenty minutes of dinner, glad that the results rung out a thirty-five percent. And he was immediately grateful for it, the woman obnoxious the entire time she was there. Why couldn’t I also get lucky with this one? 
Gojo finds himself perched at the dining table as the shower runs. He doesn’t bother to get changed, slouching down in the chair as he settles in his misery and into his mind. He thinks back to his first date. The girl he saw hurrying on in only to trip and land in a muddy puddle. You ruined your dress, a black and backless dress that flowed nicely at the skirt. When the two of you were made aware that you were each other’s date, you had given him the go ahead to laugh at you. You followed not too long after, cracking each other up while you sat in the cold establishment dirtied by the rain water. You were each other’s first dates and unfortunately, not either of your last. 
When Utahime hopped out of the shower, she came out to the dining area in only just her towel. With a smaller one wrapped around her head, she let that one fall down on the bench as she approached Gojo. Before he could fully register her planned turn of events, she dropped the towel that draped around her body and climbed on his lap. Excess water dripped onto the baby blue shirt as his entire body stiffened, eyes widening. “What’re you—”
“Don’t say anything,” she pressed a finger to his lips. “By the end of the night, we’ll get our results and we won’t have to see each other again after this.”
It’s her certainty that lures Gojo in. After this night, we won’t have to see each other again. And he liked the sounds of that. 
Skin slapping against skin, the pungent smell of sex infiltrating the air ducts. The sweet sounds of each other echoing throughout the room as Utahime holds onto Gojo’s shoulders, his hands holding at her hips as he controls her movement. She’s the sweetest like this. When she’s not complaining or making a jab at him for “not” reading her dating profile. Just pure sex without any romantic ties to it, no feelings that bound each other down. 
He feels his stomach tighten, the muscles coming together as his grip becomes stronger. “Shit, ‘m g’nna…”
“Hold on,” Utahime cries. “Hold on!” 
When Gojo cums, Utahime makes sure that it’s not in, watching how his cock leaks his seed onto her stomach as she fingers herself to her release. Her moans are sweet and sultry, her cunt pulsating before creamy white follows in suit. And when both fall out of euphoria, she’s the one to speak first. “C’mon. Let’s strip the beds before going to bed.”
When the phone chimes at four in the morning, Gojo’s expecting to taste the sweet relief of heading on home, watching how the bubbles swirl in a circle as the app pulls up the database. He rubs out the sleep from his eyes, his sight a little blurry before the number loads up on screen. Digital confetti blinding him and bringing him into a slot of confusion. Huh? It’s never done this before. 
His heart drops when he registers what the number says one the screen— One hundred percent. 
1,000TH INSTANCE
Geto is a decent guy, you conclude. A very sweet man. However, there’s just something that he lacks. You couldn’t put your finger on just what he was missing though. Long brown hair combed back in a small bun, one lock of hair falling out of place and in front of his face. Chocolate brown eyes that look at you, seemingly assuring you that everything is and will be okay. His voice is smooth, like the sweet blue agave that you pour into your tea. 
He carries and each conversation smoothly, listening to you intently as he has his hands propped up, leaning his head against it as hums. He nods his head at everything you say, giving you his undivided attention as he had barely touched his food while you half. You shouldn’t be wishing for this night to end because ideally, this is the partner you wanted. He was the man you so desired and wished for. But those sentences are all in the past tense, and you want to focus on the now.
You have a medium well steak that’s nearly finished. The sides, mashed potatoes and chopped vegetables. Your drink, a Diet Coke, as recommended by the app. Geto a Cesar salad with vidalia onion dressing drenching it. As you continue to talk, the more you get more hungry as you drone on and on about more stuff. It’s in the midst of your never-ending rambling that you become self-conscious, becoming flustered as you look over at Geto sheepishly. “Sorry, am I talking too much? I’ve been told I do.”
“No,” he completely dismisses your worries. “I like that you’re so open with me. I’d listen to you all the time if I could— If I possibly can.”
And that should be flattering. A man willing to listen to his partner at any time of the day if possible, but you still feel uneasy. “No, you know what. What about you? You told me that you grew up on a farm. Your accent doesn’t match your upbringing. Is there a story to that?”
He nods, accepting the change in discussion as he relaxes his shoulders. With a deep breath, he stares off into space for a moment. “There is, uh, a story to that actually.”
You’re sure that the story would have been fascinating if you were truly and genuinely missing. Instead, your eye flicker to outside of the window as you swear you see a familiar face. In a red button up and charcoal gray slacks, you watch as Gojo climbs the short steps up the pavement as the gentleman at the door bows in respect and holds the door open. Geto drones on and on about his childhood as your eyes follow the white-haired man. His head of hair styled back like he had done so with you. Dark circular frames that fit his face, he checks into Pimento’s with his phone before turning in your direction. 
Eyes meeting yours, he stops in his tracks as he looks over at you. Neither of you say anything for a while, Gojo calling for attention as onlookers and passers-by become curious as to why the gentleman is so bewildered. Geto’s soothing voice pulls you out of your trance, looking behind him to see just who you’re having a staring contest with. “Do you know him?”
“Huh?” You lose. “What— I’m sorry. I didn’t hear what you said?”
“The guy,” he gestures to Gojo. “Do you know him?”
“Oh,” your face heats up in embarrassment. “We, uh—” There was no ‘we.’ You barely knew Gojo, the two of you only sharing one date together before the app revealed the dreadful news that the two of you weren’t each other’s hundred-percent. After such heightened conversations and slews of laughter, the two of you just… clicked. However, according to the app’s data base, that wasn’t enough. Thirty-percent, it algorithm had collected that that’s what both of you were, claiming that there were too many differences and that in the long run while the two of you got along now, the future would turn out nasty. The two of you were devastated, but neither of you voiced that. “— We went on a date. That’s all. I just… I just usually never see them again right after, you know?”
“Oh,” Geto nods in understanding. “No, I get that. I’ve yet to see any of my dates again, so that is a little weird.”
“If you don’t mind me asking,” you lean against the table in curiosity. “How many dates have you been on so far?”
“This would be my fifty-sixth,” Geto answers truthfully, holding no shame to it. Your eyes widen, mouth shaped into an ‘O’ in surprise. Geto chuckles, used to that reaction. “Don’t make fun of me too hard now.”
“I—I’m not!” you hold up your hands in defense. “I’m just—Does your app need some updating or something because how have you not found your hundred-percent yet?”
Geto shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ve concluded it to bad luck, but I’m still hopeful.”
“Hopefully, you find the one soon,” you try to assure him.
“Hopefully, you are the one,” he smiles. 
Gojo watches from afar, you with your date. You’re smiling. You seem happy. Good, he thinks. You deserve happiness. Though, he believes deep down that it should be with him. Gojo lets out a deep sigh when he reads a notification on his phone. Utahime Iori is one minute away. 
You decided you needed a long shower the moment the two of you arrive at the hotel, scanning yourselves in before a keycard is uploaded to your screen. Geto takes the lead in bringing you up to your room, letting you in first as you reach for the light switch. It’s a beautiful room, you have to admit. Cream-colored walls with brown accents. Picture frames hang on the wall, making the area feel more homely. As expected, there’s only one bed. 
“If you want to take a shower first,” Geto says. “Go ahead. I want to take a second to relax.”
“Okay,” you chirp. That’s no problem with me. You end up taking an hour long shower, so absorbed in your mind as dread fills it. You just want this night to be over with. You feel so guilty because Geto seems like a nice guy, but you don’t feel a spark to assure yourself that this will be an everlasting connection. By the time you’re twisting the pipe, your fingertips are pruned up and dehydrated. You reach for the towel that hangs on the rack, stepping out. 
You curse to yourself in realization that you didn’t get a change of clothes when you’re drying off your face, taken aback when you see just what you need waiting on the bathroom sink. Wait, your eyebrows furrow. These weren’t here before—
Your phone chimes the familiar melody for the results. The loading screen pops up and disappears rather quickly than what you’re used to. One hundred percent. 
5,000TH INSTANCE
Perfection can never be achieved. You remember these words from your husband when you first met. You mentioned your love for painting, pulling out your phone to show him your works. Innocent recreations of what’s already been done and a few original pieces of your own. It was an off-handed comment that you made that sparked him to say that. “Oh, it’s not perfect or anything. I just do this for fun.”
“Perfection can never be achieved,” he told you, pushing back the dark strand of hair behind his ear, brown eyes that resemble a fox as they reeled you in with such charm. “Only something that we can aspire for.”
He paused before adding, “But, I’d say you’re damn near close to perfection.”
His smooth-talking immediately locked you into him, accepting the score of one hundred-percent the moment your phone chimed that familiar ring, waiting a few seconds before it popped up on the screen. You believed what he told you after that, how he was happy that you were his and that he only sought to take care of you. His hands wrapped around as the sheets fell from around him, his strong hands pulling in your bare torso and kissing you alongside your neck. 
The soft hum of your voice sounds the bedroom as you lean into his touch, naively falling for his lies. Eyes shutting as his hands raised to flick at your pert nipple, you melted into his touch as he whispered to you a broken promise. “I promise to love you with all my power.”
Maybe if he were truthful, your mind wouldn’t drift back to that one person who always lingered on your mind. 
Around the dining room table, you feel like you’re running short of breath. Gasping for air, tears stream down your eyes as you’re slamming your hand down on the table, three loud bangs that echo through the night. Both of your phones lie far inside the bedroom, promising each other not to look at it until the very next morning. It’s three in the morning now, exhausting pooling inside of each other’s eyes, but still— something is holding the two of you back from going into that bed. 
Your loud laughter fills the dining area, snorting every so often as you hold your stomach, paining starting to stab you. You keel over, holding your weight with one arm as Gojo watches. Circular frames set down on the table as his laughter slowly dies out, cheeks tinted in red as his chest heaves up and down. His eyes are solely on you, something you don’t realize until you’ve finally calmed down. A long-winded sigh leaving your mouth before your eyes meet his sapphire-like pupils. He’s giving you this… look. You don’t know what to call it. No one’s ever looked at you this way. 
Instinctively, you examine yourself, giving yourself a quick skimming before you’re asking, “What? Is something on me?” 
“No, no,” he shakes his head. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Never was.”
Easily growing flustered, you avert your gaze away from his piercing one. From under the table, you kick at his shin gently. “Stop it.”
“What?” he feigns innocence. “You asked, I answered.”
Such short-lived happiness. Now you feel a hollowness in your heart as Geto’s broken his thousands of promises, making you dream for a universe that you’ll never have. Did you fall for it all because it reminded you of the man that you really wanted?
5,001ST INSTANCE
“Gojo,” Utahime grumbles out. “I’m going out. Don’t wait for me.”
When have I ever? He wanted to voice out, but instead, he responded with silence. And she doesn’t say anything about it, walking through the door with a loud shut that sends vibrations to the trinkets and decor to the neighboring dressers and picture frames. Picture frames that hold nothing of any true value, all pictures that Utahime has hung up of nature and wildlife. Something to spruce up this… empty and desolate home. He doesn’t know where she goes, such a frequent occurrence that he no longer questions it in his mind. 
Perched up on the couch, his blue eyes pinned straight to the television as he clicks through the channels. His eyes are starting to burn and exhaustion is laced in his body, but he doesn’t care. No work tomorrow. Nothing to do. No Utahime in the house. All she does is fill up the empty space and even when she’s hear, it feels emptier than it already is. Maybe he’s being harsh, but it’s his truth. 
His unhappiness ruminates inside of his mind, festering as he clicks from channel to channel, still not finding anything interesting to watch. It comes to a point where the screen is dark, clicking the power button, and finding more entertainment in the darkness before he’s scrolling through his phone. Going through socials as he sees the smiling faces of his loved ones with their hundred-percents. He hates how happy they seem, even if they’re just conjured falsities. Why hasn't he felt like he hasn’t had one good moment with Utahime?
Through the lifeless scrolling and rediscoverings of certain apps, he finds the dating app. Something he hadn’t used since learning about Utahime being his hundred-percent, but the app is still there and his account is still there. You can no longer match with anyone reads underneath his name, but he goes past it, clicking on his match history. It was a short list of names, three people at most. Utahime Iori, Shoko Ieiri, a few other women and… you. 
Something batters against his chest at the remembrance of you. A student in her residency, so close to tasting victory. You spoke with so much passion, life still inside your eyes as you spoke to him. Cheeks that rose that they looked like they hurt at some point. “How many men have you made fall in love with you?”
He asked that simple question and you giggled, shaking your head. You had such a brightness that it was blinding. A vermillion dress that was so striking that you called all the attention to yourself, a beautiful flower that didn’t belong in between the rose bush, its thorns and thickets too deadly for something as precious as you. 
“I should be asking you that question,” you redirect the question to him. “What’s a fine man like yourself doing without his hundred-percent yet? The algorithms are doing a shitty job if you still haven’t found the one yet.”
He was so confident when he said, “I think they were leading me straight to you.”
He feels like a fool now. Holding so much faith for a woman that wasn’t his by the end of the night. He got his hopes up, and in response, got his heart torn into shreds by the end of the night. He kissed you that night, his second to last date. He’s never done that with any other woman before that. However, you managed to make yourself the exception. How did you do that? Weasel your way into his heart so easily?
He wonders if you’re as miserable as him right now. And while some sadistic part of him hopes so, his dwindling love hopes not. He hopes that your hundred percent gives you someone that you deserve and love— even though it’s not him. 
10,0001ST INSTANCE 
When was the last time you enjoyed being at a nice house party like this? Sure, it’s not as wild as your college days, but it doesn’t need to be. The EDM that hums through the heavyweight speakers vibrates through your bones as you hold a red solo cup in your right hand. The lights are dim as neon streams of light flash across the ceiling. Chatter intermingles with the music, everyone’s eyes bright as they dance along. Pushing through the large crowd comes Shoko, she’s tugging her hundred-percent along with her, eyes bright when she spots you hidden away. 
Calling out your name, she beams in excitement. “There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
“Well,” you chuckle. “You haven’t been looking hard enough.”
You stand tall, meeting Shoko in the middle before your eyes fall adrift to her partner. A pretty woman with fair skin and chestnut-colored eyes. Jet black hair that falls past her shoulders and bangs that hide her forehead. The most striking feature about her, however, is the large gash across her face. However, it doesn’t take away from her beauty, only seeming to enhance it as it calls for a story waiting to be told. She holds a shy smile on her face, averting eye contact before she voices out a “hello.”
“Hi,” you respond, holding out your hand and giving her your name. 
“I’m Utahime—” She could barely introduce herself before Shoko’s smiling all giddily, “Isn’t she stunning?”
Utahime’s face heats up, a shy smile on her face before nudging Shoko, and whispering, “Stop it…”
You enjoy this part about matches. You enjoy watching people get their hundred-percents and finding themselves happy. Seeing how they’re ecstatic and overjoyed to find someone else they mesh well with. But, why couldn’t you have that? Why are you still searching for that through yours? Where was that immediate connection that you’re longing for? As much as you love seeing other people’s happiness, it becomes overbearing at some point. You manage to sneak yourself away from the lovey-dovey scene, squeezing past the myriad group of people and finding homage at the food table, picking up a paper plate and sharing yourself a small serving of fruits. You sneak a few pieces of cantaloupe into your mouth before sharing out more on the plate before a voice rings inside your ears. “Make sure to leave some for the rest of us.”
You nearly choke on a piece when you whirl around, a strangled ‘hm?’ leaving you before spitting it out on your plate. Your eyes widen at the piercing blue eyes and the inhumanly white-head of hair that you haven’t seen in months. 
“Oh, my gosh!” you gasp. “Gojo!”
The two of you hug as if you’ve both been life-long friends. It feels that way, remembering the first and only date the two of you have been on. That long night of chatter as the two of you spent it in each other’s comfort. Both of you equally poured your hearts out to each other like no one else was watching. Those within that restaurant were so sure of it, the two of you would be hundred-percents. Only for the staff to share the same disappointment you had when you returned in a week’s time waiting on someone else.
There was a connection that you had with Gojo that even a blind man could see, even now with the two of you hugging each other. Each of your grips were strong, scared to let go of one another as if the moment you did, one of you would be gone once more. You couldn’t help but inhale his scent, an earthy fragrance of his cologne that made you want to nuzzle yourself further in his chest. He couldn’t help but to bury his face in your hair, smelling a scent of citrus from your hair products. Subconsciously, his grip tightened on you before both of you finally pulled away. 
You looked up into his eyes, finding yourself easily lost in them as you’re held speechless. A snort leaves you, still baffled that he’s here. “You know Shoko and Utahime?”
“Utahime, yeah,” Gojo nods. “She was an old classmate of mine. Surprised she invited me, to be honest. She hated my guts.”
“Who could hate you?” you jest, but deep down, you’re asking yourself that question. How could anyone possibly hate him? He scratches the nape of his neck, chuckling as he leans down to your height, getting awfully close. “You’d be surprised.”
He sends a chill down your spine, your smile dropping as your eyes flicker from his eyes and down to his lips. He does the same, having the strong urge to kiss you then and there. “Want to take a step outside with me? It’s— It’s, uh, getting a bit claustrophobic in here.”
You nod without hesitation. “Yeah.”
You take his hands, bigger than yours, they lead the way out. The two of you find latibule on a rusty bench out front, a few blocks down from Shoko’s place. The sky is getting darker and the air is getting chillier. You start to shiver when Gojo’s pulling off his sweater. “Here.”
“No.” You start shaking your head. “I’m fine.”
However, Gojo’s already draping it over your shoulder, not taking your ‘no’ for an answer. Instead, he starts the conversation up with a question he’s been meaning to ask the moment he saw you at the food table. “Have you found your hundred-percent?”
“Nope,” you sigh, averting your gaze in shame. “You?”
“Nope,” he repeats. There’s a long silence the two of you share before his eyes lie on you. “Do you think it’s worth trying anymore?”
“No,” your eyes flicker around before braving it. A few inches away becomes a centimeter, lips ghosting each other’s. “Not when the only person I’ve been wanting is you.”
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note. thank you so much for reading this fic. gojo is my king for angst. please let me know your thoughts in the comments below or in your reblog. it is very much appreciated. mwah!
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itsabouttimex2 · 2 months ago
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Eclipse Kings
Part Three: Wild Dawn
(Part One: Mountain Monkeys) (Part Two: Barbed Dusk) (Part Three: You Are Here)
(Extra One)
For almost all his life, Sun Wukong had never really known “want”, not for more than the few moments it took to decide he was going to pursue some fleeting and new desire.
The land itself seemed to conspire to his favor- he was borne to a thriving mountain of surplus and luxury, sparkling streams racing down each hill, bountiful orchards with boughs so heavy they dipped near to the earth. Even the horizon was generous, spanning sunrises to color his every lavish breakfast and hosting a banner of glittering stars to lull him to sleep.
He wanted for nothing, because when the world would not bend to his whims, he simply bent it himself- to the end result of power, luxury, and adoration.
His life was fraught with the inevitable turning of blades, stuffed full of motion, conflict, and inevitable triumph. His troop grew by the year, Flower Fruit Mountain knew nothing of suffering, and his treasury was brimming with relics.
A demon crowned eternal king of a flourishing mountain, untouchable and immovable.
What more could a monkey want?
Company, as it turned out. The varied little simians scattered all through the trees and bushes of his mountain were wonderful, of course- he cherished them all like his own children, and doted on each and every one of the little menaces.
But he still wanted more.
—-——————————————————————
“That, little mortal, is when I joined my Sworn Brotherhood!”
The Great Sage Equal to Heaven smiles warmly at his recited memories, claws lightly sifting through a large collection of traditional clothing.
“We were going to lead a siege on that stuck-up realm of Celestials, but my darling moonbeam had an even better idea- why not start our own kingdoms? Instead of teaching those stuffy old fools how to respect us, we could just show them up and take all their little worshipping mortals away!”
You don’t say a word in turn, still bundled up in a fluffy towel, sitting on the nearest chair, idly watching through blank eyes. Since you hadn’t been willing to walk or respond, Wukong had scooped you up with a sigh and hurried off to his and Macaque’s shared changing room, given permission to pick out some old clothes of theirs to give you.
“Of course, all of the stuff that was supposed to be boring was, uh… a total mess. Y’know, like deciding on territories, drawing borders, figuring out taxes—ugh. Mortals do not like taxes. Sure like ‘em better than being eaten by demons, though.” He chuckles at his own words, shaking his head as if to dismiss the unpleasant memories of bureaucracy. Wukong pulls out a black ceremonial robe embroidered with purple thread and holds it up against you, squinting as if he’s considering how it might look.
“…no. My sweet moon wouldn’t like you wearing this.”
“…s’it “too nice” for me?”
“…you mortals really aren’t the best with self-esteem, are you? No, little villager- it’s because he wore something like this when we were married. After that, he started commissioning seamstresses to make him more clothes like that robe… the actual thing is framed in a glass box over our bed. I don’t understand why Mac wanted that, but I can’t ever say no to him…”
Wukong’s voice trails off, tone softening as his gaze drifted to the ceiling. A smile plays on his lips, barely restrained, as he’s replaying his dearest memory of Macaque on repeat. You shift uncomfortably, unsure how to respond, the weight of his affection for his moonlit partner pressing against the silence.
He breaks it himself, but only after walking across the room and popping open lacquered wood chest, breaking the preserving sigil printed across it .
“You know,” says the king, his claws tapping the gleaming pauldron of gold within, “I wore this when we got married.”
He turns to the side, catches the fact that you’ve perked up even a little, and continues.
“It was the nicest thing I owned at the time- most of my outfits were skinned animals and stolen rags. This is something my brothers had given me, so it was the nicest thing I had that wasn’t my staff.”
Wukong’s fingers linger on the golden armor, tone rich with an ancient nostalgia. “I wasn’t one for fancy clothes back then- still coming around to it now- but I was even worse with it back then. I wanted to go in my tiger skirt and my old boots! But my brothers? Oh, they insisted: “You’re getting married- you can’t just show up looking like a bandit on your wedding day!” So they gave me this, and a nice red robe with a ton of silly characters embroidered into it- it’s framed right next to my mate’s robe, now.”
Say something. You need to say something. You can’t just mumble and mutter if you want to stay in a king’s good graces, can you?
“…do you… remember your vows?”
He perks with a smile, intrigued by the random question, entirely missing how dangerously close you are to cracking.
“Well, if that’s want you want to know, how about I tell you about the whole ceremony? Here, I’ll lay out how it went…”
——————————————————————
Macaque shuffles in place for a moment, old meekness returning to him- his hands twitch, and the notes smoothly inked onto the sleeve of his silk robe catch in the light, drawing his aureate eyes downwards. The crowd all around is nervous mortals and drunk demons, dressed in red or black or gold, held at peace mostly by his eager “brothers”. On Azure’s lap and shoulders are several children, more interested in his blade and snout than the ceremony. He’s smiling, more at ease than any other here.
The others for the most part are doing alright. Peng is preoccupied with their drink, casually allowing themselves to be marveled at by a blacksmith and a jeweler- though neither are allowed to touch, both mortals are fervently etching the gilded designs into their paper scrolls. The avian flaps those glimmering wings on occasion, causing streaks of light to flash over the modest venue, catching across the polished tiles.
Yellowtusk sits on a carved stone chair, marking the attendants in a neat ledger, made oversized to fit his hands. Several troops of Long-Tailed and Crab-Eating Macaques play on his trunk and tusks, their little fingers deftly taking hold in the cracks of his thick skin to ascend it. They don’t ever distract him for more than a few seconds, even when the youngest cubs forget their manners and start chirping in his ears.
The largest of their Brotherhood stands at attention in the doorway, toying with the straps of his battle axe. His face is painted with a rarely seen apprehension, looking back and forth over the room on occasion. Sometimes his gaze stills on a veil-shrouded woman with painted lips, and then he smiles for a moment.
The Demon Bull King is not nearly as subtle of a man as he thinks.
Not that it matters- when, for all that (which is very much) his Sworn Brothers know he’s courting a Celestial Maiden, they’ve chosen to keep an oath of silence on the matter.
(“He’s our big guy,” as Wukong had put it during one meeting months ago. “And we want that goofball to be happy.”)
(All of them- even Peng- had toasted to that notion, in the general direction of the bull’s empty chair.)
The mortals are safe. His brothers are content. He can do this.
Once more the dried notes on his sleeve catch Macaque’s attention, snapping him from the venue and to his golden love.
One last time he goes over them, dedicating those practiced words to memory.
He takes a breath, and turns to the audience.
“My mate-to-be is… molten gold, kissed by the rising sun. Beautiful is a shallow word to describe him- he is a masterpiece, a divine work of art carved by the heavens themselves. His eyes hold the all the world’s fire within them, blazing with the brilliance of a thousand sunsets. His laughter is a hymn to freedom itself, a melody I pray to hear every day for the rest of my life. When I look at him, I don’t just see a king, but the very heart of my existence, the axis upon which my world turns. He is my sun, my storm, my sanctuary, my everything.”
Several of the softer mortals are touched by his speech, lifting their cotton sleeves to the very corners of their eyes. Others only lightly clap, still uncomfortable at being called to the union.
Macaque does not have time to look away from before Wukong’s ginger-furred paws clasp onto his shoulders, holding tight.
There are no notes, no hours of reciting, no time spent with helpful Sworn Brothers to listen and offer advice, no matter how snarky- Sun Wukong simply turns from the crowd and offers himself.
“Macaque… I love you. I want you to be my mate forever. Until the sun goes dark.” Wukong's tail flicks behind him, expression softening with a rare blush. "Because... you're part of my story, bud. You’ve always been a part of it. And I'm tired of pretending like I can write the rest of it without you. Be mine forever and let’s be mates.”
The world is blurry, at least to Macaque. Nine and a half seconds prior he had thought there’d be some disappointment to push through, delivered an insincere joke or a vow written by another’s hand.
But there was only been Sun Wukong, love of his life, smiling at him.
“I will be your mate,” he chokes out, “forever. Until the sun goes dark.”
——————————————————————
“We’ve never been apart since then,” he purrs, dragging one claw over a hanfu the color of a sky on a gentle morning, toying with the white sash to untie it. “Not even for a day.”
Before you have a chance to respond, he plucks up the garment and holds it out to you. The size difference between him and the outfit is comical, and you wonder why these two demon kings have it in the first place.
“This should fit you, bud! Here, let’s get that towel off-“
You scream.
It’s not particularly loud or long, or even desperate- but it’s a scream all the same.
Worse still for yourself, you take this hysteric moment to lay on some shaky remand.
“NO! No more! Just stop touching me! I don’t- I d-don’t like it! You’re- you’re twice my size and you keep- you and him are always getting in my face and- a-and putting your hands on me, and I- I’m am so, so sick of it! I am not an o-object! I am a person! I am a person! I-“
“Quiet. Now.”
Wukong’s golden eyes narrow as he stands there, the weight of his presence pressing down on the room like a thundercloud ready to burst. His tail flicks sharply, but his voice remains measured.
…there are tears rolling down your eyes now, lost in the fluffy expanse of the towel around your body, sopping uselessly away as the king takes two footsteps to your form, frowning.
Not that it does anything to settle the rapid beat of your heart, crushed by the newly oppressive atmosphere.
“…you’re scared. I understand that. And maybe my moonbeam and I, we’ve been a little too hands on. That’s on us. But this my pagoda, and I did not build it by hand so that a little guest could yell at me. You know that you’re not a prisoner here. The doors aren’t locked, and there aren’t guards stationed outside them… now. I’ll let you get dressed- alone- and then you can eat. And…
“And no more touching without your permission. Okay?”
“…m’sorry. F-for yelling.”
“…I’m not mad,” he lies, one hand shifting to condescendingly pat you on the head. “I forget- my brothers, and my mate, too- we yaoguai just aren’t the same as mortals. You little things are scared too easily, and break so quickly.”
Something about hearing that is humiliating, but you don’t dare argue with him. Instead, you hunch your shoulders and cling to the towel, sniveling down at the floor.
Wukong’s frown softens the longer he watches you cry, all the sharpest edges of his irritation melting away into something closer to pity.
“I’ll leave it here. Call if you get lost looking for the kitchen.”
His words are painfully curt, and then the king is gone, golden beads and silk robes swishing behind him with each step.
You were never close, and only ever tangentially in the “good graces” of these kings. It’s not like you’ve shattered some precious bond.
But you still feel bad.
You wouldn’t, not usually. But as you unwrap the towel and begin to dress yourself in the lovely hanfu left draped over the chair nearest to you, the aches and pains of yesterday’s chase down the mountain weigh on you, just as MK’s new identity and newer happiness strike a deep point of insecurity- that you simply weren’t good enough to take care of him.
You weren’t good enough to provide for him anymore.
You wanted to believe you were more than them- strong enough to survive on your own, to fight your way through the world with MK in tow. But the truth was harder to face: Sun Wukong and the Six-Eared Macaque were meteoric gods, and you were just a mortal caught in the tides of their myth.
And where MK was thriving in this ecliptic chaos, you instead were already cracking under pressure after only a day spent before the kings.
…there’s a lovely silk pouch, dyed the color of new lavender blooms, hanging from the hanfu- you only notice it after tying the sash into a decent bow. The soft texture grounds your tumultuous thoughts, and a powerful aroma steadily drifts from within.
You fiddle with the tie and open the sash, revealing a dried bundle of orange blossoms tightly tied together, each stem marked with a glittering mystic sigil- 提高.
Whatever scent they would’ve had already was amplified by the marking, causing a heavy flow of fresh floral scent to ooze from the little purse.
You lift it and take a deep breath from the bag, allowing the veil of citrus aroma to utterly cloud your mind, providing it a much needed fog to rest under.
The soothing haze is slow to fade, even after you’ve pulled away and sealed the bag, but eventually you are left with only your steadied thoughts in the ornate chamber, amongst fine silks and polished wood, treasures of centuries past hung casually about It’s beautiful—almost too much so.
A reminder that this world of theirs is not the same of yours.
But you would not stop trying to survive in it.
You couldn’t.
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strawberrygummiess · 3 months ago
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goo goo muck.
floyd leech x gender neutral! reader 1.4k words cross posted on ao3 "By the time this year’s Halloween was over, you never wanted to see a piece of candy again—especially no trick-or-treaters. But now you were in a dance hall in a pocket dimension, tired and annoyed, watching the students’ party when all you wanted to do was go back to your room and sleep. Bah, humbug, or whatever the Halloween equivalent was." (sorry for posting this after Halloween)
If there was a competition for being Halloween’s biggest Scrooge, you’d win it.
As a kid, you loved Halloween—the obvious candy collection, of course, but also the costumes, the décor, and the overall joy the season carried. Even now, you would’ve loved Halloween if you weren’t forced to work seven days straight to keep annoying teenagers out of your dorm room.
By the time this year’s Halloween was over, you never wanted to see a piece of candy again—especially no trick-or-treaters. But now you were in a dance hall in a pocket dimension, tired and annoyed, watching the students’ party when all you wanted to do was go back to your room and sleep.
Bah, humbug, or whatever the Halloween equivalent was.
You were glowering in a lone corner, holding a drink in one hand and rubbing your temple with the other. Your head was pounding. Lilia insisted that the music be deafening, and it felt like the ghosts might hold you here indefinitely. And the longer you stayed, the grumpier you got, your scowl getting deeper and deeper. At this point, the pounding of your head synced with the beat of the loud techno.
"Woah, Shrimpy, if you keep frowning, your face’ll get stuck like that.”
You purse your lips and look up at Floyd. On a good day, you can only handle Floyd in small doses. On a bad day, you just wanted him to go away. You liked Floyd, but he was not something you were capable of handling while your head was seconds away from exploding.
“It’ll be perfect for Halloween then, won’t it? A scary face for a scary day.”
You mean it to be dismissive and boring. But you should know better than to assume Floyd will leave you alone so easily. You know Floyd has a bit of fascination with you. At first, you were concerned, especially when- in between cheers of joy- Riddle gave you half-hearted condolences. But Jade had eased your concerns, saying that “you weren’t so interesting to hold his attention for that long” and that he’d eventually grow bored of you (whatever that meant). But that was months ago, and he was still going strong. And Riddle was still happy to revel in your misery.
Floyd grins and joins you along the wall, and you can’t help the sigh that escapes you. You catch the frown on his face and rub your temples again. The music is much too loud.
“What gives Shrimpy? You’re being a big stick-in-the-mud,” Floyd whines, scrunching his body so his face is level with yours. You sigh again and take a sip of your drink. You could lie and say there’s nothing wrong or that you can’t dance, but he’s not stupid. The longer you stretch this out, the worse it’ll be for you.
“My head hurts, and I’m really tired." You start, finally looking at him. His full attention is on you, and it’s slightly unsettling. You’ve always liked how his eye glowed in the dark, but now it was too intense. It was like you were wronging him by denying him his fun, even if it was at your expense. You break eye contact.
“My head feels like it’s going to explode, and this music is not helping.”
You stare at the ground, counting the tiles under your feet while you wait for Floyd to respond. You assume he’ll say something about you being boring or try to get you to ignore your pain to entertain him. But instead, he says nothing. For a long time. So long you have to check if he’s still there.
He’s staring at you when you look again. Face blank, eyes focused. He straightened up back to full height, an imposing figure staring down at you with one glowing eye. He looks terrifying in the dark.
You open your mouth to say something—anything—to save yourself, but Floyd begins to giggle.
“Oh man, I’m DIGGIN’ that look, Little Shrimpy. I gotta make your face contort in fear more often.”
You hadn’t realized you were making a face. Now you hope he can see your irritation.
"Aww, don’t get all clammy on me, Shrimpy,” Floyd whines, moving from his place on the wall to stand in front of you. He raises his hands to cradle your head, and your heart beats wildly in your chest. You can’t tell if you’re scared this time.
“Do you feel the pressure here?” He moves his hands to your temples. “Or here?” He takes his right hand and gently rubs his thumb under your eyebrow.
You use your open eye to look up at him, trying to see if he planned on crushing your skull then and there. But he only gives you a lazy smile, patiently waiting for you to answer him, absentmindedly rubbing your face. It might’ve felt better if it was skin-on-skin contact, but the fabric on the glove was beginning to irritate your skin.
“My temples,” you answer, wincing when he moves his hand. Floyd hadn’t been rubbing the skin that hard or for long. Maybe you could ask Epel to share some moisturizers with you later.
Floyd puts his hands back on your temples. You assume he’s going to rub the sides of them like you were doing earlier, but when you look back up, you feel your heart drop to your stomach.
He looks giddy, with a wild grin on his face and his eyes focused like a hunter. This is the face he makes when he’s given the green light from Azul to “squeeze” some unruly patrons of Mostro Lounge. And now he’s giving you the same look, hands wrapped tightly around your head.
You were going to die.
You can’t bear to look Floyd in the eyes anymore and squeeze them shut. Hopefully, this means when he crushes your skull, your eyes won’t pop out. You’ve always wanted an open-casket funeral. You hear Floyd cackle in glee, and your head throbs again. If anything, you were thankful that you wouldn’t have to deal with your migraine anymore.
Floyd puts pressure on your temples, slowly squeezing your skull. You feel it slowly, the sensation blossoming from where his palms are to the orbital region of your skull. You wait for your head to explode violently, but it never comes. Instead, you realize your headache has subdued significantly, barely feeling the throbbing sensation at all anymore.
Your eyes shoot open, and you look at Floyd shocked. He meets your gaze and begins to giggle again.
“Dude, you’re full of fun expressions. What’d you think I was gonna do?”
“Not that! You looked like you were ready to kill me!” You try to defend yourself, but you look silly, head crushed between Floyd’s hands.
“You’d know if I was gonna squeeze you in the bad way. This is the good squeeze that makes your headaches go away. I do it to Jade all the time." To emphasize his point, he adds more pressure to your temples.
You pout, because he’s right. It is making your headache go away. And because you know you’ll be stuck with Floyd for another month while you are indebted to him. Maybe if you got enough headaches, you could bore him away.
“Well?” Floyd draws the L’s out in a sing-song manner. “Feelin’ any better, Shrimpy?”
You feel a lot better. Your headache isn’t fully gone, but it’s manageable now. Hopefully, the ghosts will declare the party over and release you soon. Floyd’s squeezing can’t fight exhaustion, and now that’s your biggest problem.
You grab Floyd’s hands and move them from your temples, rubbing the top of his hands with your thumbs. You smile appreciatively, genuinely happy to be freed from your migraine.
“Yes, thank you.”
You try to let go of Floyd’s hands, but he moves to interlock them, his wild grin back on his face. He leans down to your level again, his glowing eye narrowing as his smile grows impossibly wide. You initially thought you tamed the beast, but your naiveté left you caught in his trap.
“Good, now we gotta dance. I’m not letting you go ‘til you collapse." He pulls you away from the wall quickly, dragging you to the center of the dance floor and twirling you around until you’re dizzy.
Make it two more months stuck with Floyd.
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astairo · 10 months ago
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The Jazz Overlord
Alastor x Reader
1.6k words
Alastor finds himself wrapped ‘round the classiest sinner in the Pentagram.
Warnings: Stalking, Valentino, lovesick(?) Alastor, fluff
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In the heart of the pride ring stood an expensive jazz club. Inside you’ll find the classiest demons, imps, overlords, you name it. So it wasn’t a surprise an overlord such as Alastor lingered in the crowds. He often found himself at ease as he sat in his private booth. Jazz was his favorite genre, even back when he was alive. Every once and a while his mother would take him to their local pub, listening to jazz all night long. Despite the soothing nostalgia, another factor drew him towards the club. A melody he couldn’t seem to resist as it grasps him in a chokehold.
His eyes stayed glued to the songbird on stage, feeling warm and enthralled. His smile widening at the sight of you. No one knew how you managed, but you snuck up on Hell. You had appeared one day, singing all around the pentagram. Some say your voice was mesmerizing. Some say it was so alluring to the point of total submission. Sinners under your contract never disclosed how it happened as they themselves don’t even recall it. That’s what made you so dangerous. You were so unpredictable, so discrete. Even the most powerful overlords stay wary of you, the infamous jazz overlord.
Your enchanting notes hung in the air as sinners slumped staring at you in a daze. You sang to the point every sinner in sight was entranced. Chuckling, you made your way down the stage and towards the closer sinner. “Hello, darling.” You grinned as he looked up in a daze, “How would ya feel if you worked for me?” you cooed alluringly. You were in need of some staff members after all. The sinner’s eyes bulged at your offer before nodding ferociously. You hummed contentedly, summoning a contract, “Such a doll you are,” you smiled as you signed the contract and handed him a quill, “Just sign right here.” You gestured to the blank line on the bottom of the contract. The sinner nodded and started signing without any hesitation. Your grin widened as a powerful glow sealed the contract; the familiar chain made its way into your hand, indicating soul ownership. “Thank you for your service,” you pat his head, “Now you head on home and have a good rest. I’ll see ya in the morning,” You watched as the sinner obeyed and walked out the club. Humming, you faced the next sinner, “Hey there.”
Unbeknownst to you, Alastor watched with curious eyes. He found it amusing how you showed no empathy towards these sinners, taking advantage of their states for soul-binding contracts. Interesting, he thought, amused at your antiques. He watched as you collected and contracted a handful of souls, sending them back home without a care in the world. Once you’ve rounded up enough sinners, you make your way back to the stage, acting as if you’ve done nothing wrong. You scanned the room one last time before snapping your fingers. You watched as every sinner in the room came back to their senses, confusion sprouting throughout the club. You were quick to avert their attention to you as you hummed a tune. Your voice managed to wash away their worries once more, leaving your schemes forgotten.
Alastor chuckled quietly, glancing at his shadow. “Keep your eyes on her,” he spoke to it, watching as it wisped away into the shadows. His smile grew larger and took one last glance at your figure. You looked completely harmless. If only people knew what he knew. He straightened himself up before making his way out of the club and back to the hotel.
You walked along the streets, head held high as sinners kept their distance. “Y/n, amorcito!” an all too familiar voice rang throughout the air. You looked up to find yourself right outside of VVV Tower. Sighing, you faced the insufferable moth, “Valentino.” His mouth formed into a twisted grin, taking your hand and giving it a long lick, “My offer still stands, you know?” You grimaced, wiping his drugged spit off, “Yet my answer stays the same.” Valentino’s face scowled, “I insist you take it.”
You rolled your eyes, showing him lightly, “No.”
Usually Valentino would stop here but he was persistent today. “I can make you a star,” he purred inching way too close for your comfort, “Think of the press, the articles, the headlines—Classy Songbird Gets Gangbanged By Staff Mem—“ A harsh slap rang throughout the air, gasps followed soon after. “Fuck—what the hell?” he snarled at you, “I’m trying to help you, you ungrateful whore!”
You scoffed, “And I said no.” Valentino’s fist clenched, moving to strike you. As you moved to defend yourself, a wisp of a shadow knocked him off balance. You watched as the moth angrily squeaked as the shadow tormented him. You were in no mood to get messy, so you took this as an opportunity to leave unharmed. Once you were far enough, the shadow ceased its assault and crawled back into the city shadows. Valentino panted as he stood disheveled, “What the fuck?”
As you walked away, curiosity trapped you in its grasp as you wondered what had caused the incident moments prior. It was all so sudden and you stayed wondering who was brave enough to stand up for you. As you continued your stroll, a sudden movement caught your eye as it hid back into the darkness. You hummed, looking at your shadow, “Find it.” The shadow’s ‘eyes’ brightened and zoomed towards the dim abyss.
You snickered and turned to see a group of sinners huddled watching something behind glass. Sinners made way for you as you looked to see the commotion. You stared down at the TV as it announced the new extermination date, Six months shorter? Ain’t that nice, you hummed before turning back around. Today has been eventful and you wanted to go home.
”Thank you,” you waved a Hellborn away, finishing your list of errands for today.
Your shoes clicked against the pavement as you made your way back home, only to stumble on an old poster. Quirking a brow, you bent over to pick it up and analyze it. The Hazbin Hotel, you read, some sick fucks you are if you think you’d get redeemed, you chuckled. Home can wait, you thought and looked over the address once more. Oh, this’ll be fun, you thought and chuckled into the musty air.
“Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel,“ Charlie paused and awed mid-sentence at the ravishing overlord in front of her, “a place of redemption and rehabilitation.” By now, everyone had their eyes trained on the visitor. “Why this is,” you said as you looked around, “abysmal, but it can manage.” The princess looked around nervously, “Well—“ you were quick to dismiss her and walked further into the hotel. The more steps you took, the more you observed. You glanced at the bar, only to be greeted by a grumpy cat and a flirty spider, “Hey there, ya look lost.” You smiled at the arachnid, “This hotel is as entertaining as watching paint dry,” you hummed, “Nothing a little jazz could help with!” The cat curled a brow at your sudden enthusiasm. Everyone watched as you snapped your fingers to a nice rhythm. With each snap, equipment appeared. Soon enough, a well-decorated stage stood in the middle of the hotel lounge.
Charlie walked up towards you, thanking you for the sudden appearance and gift. Your eyes shined at the princess, “Nonsense, Miss Morningstar! Anything for the royal family.” Chuckling, you whistled into the air, summoning a band and singers, “I gift you a plethora of my most elite jazz members,” you gestured to where they stood on the stage, “It’s like I’ve always said, modernism seems cool, but it’s nowhere unique as—“
“Old-school,” The radio demon chirped from the shadows, causing you to face him. “That’s, that’s right,” you straightened yourself up, “You must be a regular.” You watched as he stepped forward, “Alastor, pleased to see the jazzy songbird themself so up close.” You grinned, “Pleased to meet you as well,” you observed the deer from head to toe, “What a…prominent color scheme you have.” An awkward silence clouded the room as everyone stared at the two overlords.
The silence was soon broken when the door burst open, two familiar shadows are seen wrestling one another on the hotel walls. You and Alastor made brief eye contact before halting your shadows. You squinted, noticing the heart eyes Alastor’s shadow had adorned for your very irritated one. You turned back to Alastor, watching as his ears twitched, “So it was you stalking me.”
“I wouldn’t say stalking, darling,” he said through his never-ending smile, “It’s more of admiring you from afar.”
You laughed at his coverup, “I suppose I’ll let it slide.” Your ears listened as he let out a genuine laugh before speaking, “I am honored.”
Noticing how quickly the conversation was dying out, you made your way to the door as you bid the hotel residents their goodlucks and farewells. “Wait!” Charlie stopped you in your tracks, “Why don’t you stay with us? Forgive me if it seems like I'm exploiting you, but it would be really helpful if you performed here for a few nights. Get us rolling on with your jazz crew.”
You eyed the princess before nodding, “Great idea, your highness!” Charlie beamed and went to check you in.
“A few nights living under the same roof as Hell’s songbird? Consider me jolly and lucky,” Alastor grinned, leaning onto his cane. “Consider it a reward for being a stalker,” you pressed and chuckled at his face.
“What can I say? You’re really alluring.”
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A/N: I might make another version where it’s more platonic than romantic if you guys ask lol
Hazbin Hotel Taglist: N/A
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minniesmutt · 4 months ago
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Ohmami with Changbin...any thoughts?
☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐨𝐡𝐦𝐚𝐦𝐢
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☾ ━━━ PAIRING: CHANGBIN X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: STREET RACER!CHANGBIN, ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP, CAR SEX, HAND JOB, UNPROTECTED SEX, BOOB PLAY, CREAMPIE, IMPLIED MORE ROUNDS. ☾ ━━━ WC: 1.1K ☾ ━━━ NOTE:  ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog
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     “Good job,” Y/n yelled as she jumped on her boyfriend. 
     She’d just watched her boyfriend win his fourth race for the night. It was beating close to three in the morning as he crossed the line. She had full faith in Changbin to win his races. He was the best driver at any meet-up they went to.
     “Thank you, princess,” Changbin smiled as he held her up by her ass, pressing good lips to hers.
     “One more race!” His opponent yelled as he slammed his car door shut.
     “You don’t have the money to bet anymore!” His friend yelled at him.
     “Someone’s a sore loser,” Y/n sighed as her boyfriend set her down. 
     “You’ve got nothing left to bet unless it’s your car,” Changbin told him
     “How about your girl?”
     Changbin looked at his girlfriend. Did he want to bet her? No. Even though he was confident he wouldn’t lose. He felt bad having to bet on her. 
     “Deal,” Y/n agreed for him. She had full faith in him anyway.
     The other guy smiled and jumped back in his car and pulled back to the starting line. “Passenger seat,” Changbin told her and kissed her cheek
     Y/n smiled and walked with her boyfriend to the other side of his car. Changbin eyed the other driver as he opened the door for his girlfriend. The racer closed the door then got back in the driver's seat and backed up to the starting line.
     Y/n looked over at the other driver to catch him winking at her. Y/n rolled her eyes at him before leaning over to Changbin, turning his face towards her, and planting her lips on his. Changbin smiled into their kiss before pulling away, turning his attention back to the road. 
     Y/n happily sat back as she waited for the flag to go up. Her boyfriend was calm as he waited while the other guy revved like an idiot. The second the flag was down, Changbin took off. Y/n smiled as she watched her boyfriend focus entirely on the road. She didn't even see the other guy till they crossed the finish line again and he pulled up a few seconds after. Pissed he lost again. 
     “Nice try,” Changbin told him as Chan came up to the passenger window.
     “You guys gonna take off then?” he asked
     “Yeah,” Changbin said, taking hold of his girlfriend’s thigh. 
     “Scram. I’ll collect for you,” Chan smiled as tapped the car door
     “Thanks, Chan!” Changbin called before pulling away and heading towards the main road. 
     Y/n smiled as she held her boyfriend’s hand as they drove down the highway, heading back towards their apartment. “My good luck charm worked then?” Y/n asked
     “Always does,” Changbin smiled as he pulled open the center console and pulled out her panties, putting them in his pocket. “Dirty girl.”
     “You like it,” Y/n smiled
     “I do. I’d kiss you right now if I could.”
     “Should pull over then,” Y/n said. I don't wanna wait till we get home.”
     Changbin smirked as he pulled off to the shoulder. It was so early in the morning that there weren’t many— if any— other cars out on the road. He pulled the car to a stop and shut off his engine. He pushed his seat back a bit then pulled his girlfriend over onto his lap. 
     Y/n smiled down at him, pressing her lips to his as he grabbed hold of her ass. Her hands gently held his neck. “Did so good tonight,” Y/n moaned into his mouth
     “All for you,” Changbin told her.
     Y/n ran her hands down his front till she found the button of his pants. Changbin held her up a bit as she unzipped his pants and pulled him out of the confines of his pants. Hand wrapping around his shaft and pumping him. 
     “Fuck baby,” Changbin groaned
     “Feel good?” Y/n giggled
     “Feel better if I was in you.”
     Y/n hummed as he pulled up the fabric of her skirt, gripping it in his hands before she positioned herself over his tip. He was never more thankful for her giving him her panties as his good luck charm during races than after they finished racing. Never having the hassle of a barrier in the way. 
     Y/n held him up as she slowly sank onto him. His size parted her as both of them moaned. Changbin helped her ease down onto him, slowly filling her up till he was snug inside of her.
     “You were just made for me, weren’t you?” He asked as he pulled his lips away from hers and let go of her skirt.
     “Only you,” Y/n agreed as she slowly started rocking her hips back and forth. Changbin pushed her shirt up above her chest with a smile. Pulling her boobs out of their bra cups and wrapping his lips around one of her nipples. Sucking on the mound as his hand kneaded her other breasts. Y/n wrapped her arms around his head as she slowly started bouncing on him. 
     Feeling his moans through her skin. His free hand held her waist as she grabbed the seat behind him to steady herself whilst bouncing on her boyfriend. “So deep binnie,” Y/n moaned
     “Gonna fuck you better when we get home. Promise,” he groaned
     “Always fuck me good.”
     Changbin smiled up at her, “Yeah? Did you age to the vet because you knew I’d win and fuck you how you deserve?”
     “Mhmm,” Y/n nodded, “Wouldn’t have agreed if I didn’t believe in you.”
      “I should marry you,” Changbin smiled as she picked up her speed. Making him moan as she grabbed hold of his neck with one hand and kissed him again. “Fill me up baby,” Y/n pleaded. 
       Changbin didn’t need to be told twice. Not when she rode him— if he had a weakness it would be his girlfriend riding him after a race. He groped onto her tightly as his dick switched inside her before filling her up. Y/n smiled against his lips as she rolled her hips against his, riding him till he came down from his orgasm. Changbin head laying back against the headrest. 
     Y/n moved her kisses down to his neck as his hands dropped from her body. Muttering how proud she was of his races tonight. 
     “I love you,” Changbin told her
     “I love you too,” Y/n said as she sat up and let him slip out of her.
     “I’ll make up good it when we get home,” Changbin said
     “I know you will.”
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luvrodite · 6 months ago
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JASON X F!READER [14.8K]
synopsis. the room, at a glance, looks like it would belong to a beloved child. you smile at the massive bookcase that spans nearly an entire wall, the toys neatly arranged in their chest. a pair of matching hand prints are stamped into the white trim of the windowsill, matching the paint of the wall, one much smaller than the other. the only problem, you realise when bruce crosses the room, is that the room is devoid of an inhabitant. 
content warning. fem!reader, inspired by The Boy (2016), dark content, horror, extreme dubcon, non consensual voyeurism, violence, death, blood, masturbation, piv sex, unprotected sex, creampie please let me know if you feel i've missed any tags
additional note. idk i’m trying my hand at something new but also this isn’t for everyone and that is OK! please don’t read if you’re not interested in the above tags and remember that you curate your own internet experience. peace and love.
minors and blank blogs do not interact, you will be blocked. please have your age in your profile
read on ao3
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You see the notice when you need it the most. Seeking Household Manager/Nanny for Child, written in small bold letters on the corner of your friend’s open newspaper. You’re glad then, for their insistence on subscribing to the papers of surrounding cities, the Gotham Gazette something akin to a beacon of hope when you nearly topple over yourself to reach for the issue and scan the ad. When they’ve saved the glass of wine you nearly knocked over, their eyebrows furrow into a disdainful frown. 
“You’re not seriously considering that.”
You look up from the black and white print, breathless. Immediate start. 9 to 6 weekdays. Boarding and meals provided.  “It isn’t like I’ve got that many other options.”
They grimace, leaning over to skim the print. “It’s in Gotham. You’re just asking to get robbed, at the very least. Have you ever even looked after a kid?”
The double digits in your bank account weigh on you, the suitcases that have been pushed into their storage closet. The couch that’s served as a bed for the past month has begun to mold itself to the shape of your body – and isn’t that a humiliating thought, for how much had been spent on it, it deserves more than for its primary purpose to be housing a poor girl. Your friend sits beside you, clad in thousands of dollars worth of clothing and sneers at what’s beginning to look like the only option you have.
You push down the urge to bite back, eyeing them pointedly instead. “I can’t afford to be picky. Besides, I’ve babysat my cousins before. It’ll be fine.”
.
.
.
The semester is well underway when you get the email, midterms that you haven’t so much as glanced at closely approaching and about a dozen other things to do that threaten to break you into hives when you linger on it for too long. A Mr Bruce Wayne confirms that you’re fit for the job, and he looks forward to meeting you. You stare at the cracked screen of your phone until the letters begin to blur into one another, feeling the rising lump in your throat. A dinner party goes on around you, all friends of friends who you’ve never exchanged more than a few words with. They don’t miss you when you slink away to the bathroom to cry, relief pulling the stopper of your emotions free.
Not wasting any time, the car comes for you early in the next morning and your friend sees you off, massively hungover and raising a hand as you pile the meagre collection of your belongings into the trunk. You are grateful to be rid of the townhouse, and in truth you think they are glad to be rid of you – a month and then some of their poor, Poor, border taking up space on their couch. It’s an unkind thought, fueled by the bitter humiliation of your failure – they’d not complained once, unthinkingly, unhesitatingly opening their door to you when the job you’d been relying on to (barely) make ends meet had let you go and your roommate had quit on you not a week later. 
The stress of it all lulls you into sleep as the car pulls away from the city, cement grey turning to green and rolling farmland. You’re too drowsy to appreciate any of it, and you’re out before you even leave the state. 
You wake from your dreamless sleep, startling at the sound of screeching metal. A wrought iron gate pulls open slowly, disused hinges whining loudly. It feels as though an eternity passes before the car is able to pass through, and the hair on the back of your neck stands on end when you cross the threshold, eyes drinking in the secluded land around you. Gravel crunches under the tires as you drive down a private road, lined on both sides by looming oak trees. Through the gaps, you catch a glimpse of the wide stretch of land that makes up the Wayne estate.
The chill of the morning has travelled with you, it seems. A thin cloak of mist hangs in the air, painting all it touches in wide strokes of silvery grey. Through bleary eyes, you take it all in. The car turns a corner and you duck your head to peer through the windshield, a large manse coming into view suddenly, only growing bigger the closer you get. 
It looms over you when you come to a stop, blotting out the already pale autumn sunlight. Here, everything is tinged in a light blue film, forever suspended in twilight despite the early afternoon hour – the sun isn’t due to set for another few hours but you half expect the moon to be hanging in the sky when you step out of the car.
Sleep softened and weary from the journey, you stretch your limbs, trying to regain some of the feeling after sitting for so long. Your legs feel static-y and you’re conscious as the front door opens and the face of your employer comes into view, of the wrinkles in your clothing. Discreetly, you smooth a hand over the hem of your shirt, but it only folds back after your palm passes over it.
“Mr Wayne,” you greet when the man comes to a stop in front of you. 
It’s difficult to mask your surprise. For all that you’d spent the better part of the last few weeks emailing him, you hadn’t expected someone so...old. He looks a great deal older than a man nearing his fifties, raven hair streaked with thick locks of silver and exhaustion lining an aged face. You feel a pang of sympathy.
“Hello. I hope the journey up wasn’t too bad?” He turns his attention to the driver, who has begun to lift your things out of the car, eyes creasing kindly at the corners and an awkward smile lifting his mouth. “You can just take those on inside, thank you.”
“I can’t complain,” you tell him easily. I wasn’t awake enough to. “You’ve got a beautiful home.”
“Ah, thank you,” he mutters, glancing back over his shoulder at the house. Upstairs, a window is open, and the curtain flutters through, white fabric rippling in the air. “Come on inside, we’ve got a lot to get through before I have to leave.”
You pause at the doorway. “You’re leaving tonight?”
He hums. “Unavoidable, I’m afraid. You’ll have to forgive me.” He offers no further explanation and you’re too tired to press.
He runs you through the basics – emergency contacts, the local police department’s number – as he takes you through a number of rooms on the lower floor. In the living room, as he’s telling you about the fair distance to the town, your attention snags on the portrait hanging over the mantle.
It’s a large thing, set in a gilded frame with a small plaque below it. It dates to a little over a decade ago, and you look up to the subjects of the painting. Of the two faces, you recognise only one and it takes a few seconds to register. Bruce, much, much younger, stands for the portrait with an easy smile curving his mouth. The only wrinkles to be found are those that frame his eyes. He’s handsome, you think, stunned, with an old movie-star kind of charm, blue-black hair and pearly grin. It’s a stark difference from the man that stands next to you now, lacking all the heaviness that clouds over him now.
There’s a little boy in the painting, too. You draw closer, curious. Bright blue eyes, almost blazing, stare back at you, a soft, sweet face that offers a toothy smile.
You’re ushered into the next room before you can get a closer look, but the date lingers with you. What could have happened in such a short amount of time, you think, to cause such a change? Ten years had passed, yes, but the age in your employer’s face spoke of a greater, age old haunting.
You are finally led, after a labyrinthine tour through the manor and its various rooms, to the bedroom of your charge. 
Something, you aren’t quite sure what, tips you off before you even open the door. It might be the sudden tense set to Bruce’s shoulders, hiking up nearly imperceptibly as he reaches for the doorknob, or the tremble in his voice he disguises with a cough. 
“Jason,” he murmurs, “is eager to meet you.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting him, too,” you say slowly, and he steps through the threshold.
The room, at a glance, looks like it would belong to a beloved child. You smile at the massive bookcase that spans nearly an entire wall, the toys neatly arranged in their chest. A pair of matching hand prints are stamped into the white trim of the windowsill, matching the paint of the wall, one much smaller than the other.
The only problem, you realise when Bruce crosses the room, is that the room is devoid of an inhabitant. 
He turns and you freeze when you take in the mass in his arms.
“Jaylad, come say hello.”
Pale, porcelain and unmoving, a doll stares back at you from its perch in your employer’s arms. Its likeness is a mimicry of the boy in the painting, a manufactured blush painting its cheeks in soft rose, dull blue eyes lacking the vibrancy of the portrait. It unnerves you, staring at it, and you look back and forth between Bruce and the thing but the former remains steady, expectant.
You raise a trembling hand, fingers clasping one small hand in greeting – it’s barely bigger than a pre-schooler, and even smaller in your arms when he deposits in your arms. 
(It takes every ounce of your strength not to flinch at the press of cool ceramic against your skin.)
Whether this is a sick joke or some awful scheme, your situation takes time to reveal itself. Bruce addresses the thing as though it were flesh and blood and you follow, uncertain and stilted. Rising unease makes it difficult to look at the thing properly, and you trail after Bruce back downstairs cradling it stiffly. 
It begins to piece itself together easily enough when on your way out of Jason’s bedroom, you catch sight of various photographs littering the surface of the walls and end tables, Bruce and a very real boy with bright blue eyes. It’s easy then, to understand what has happened, and what is being asked of you. Your discomfort softens, if only slightly, making way for sympathy. 
You know loss. Death is no stranger to you. The grief of losing a child – it feels cruel to fault your employer for how he’d chosen to cope. Soft-hearted, your chest aches when you catch the lingering of his gaze on the photographs as you pass them in the hall. So dearly loved, it’s no wonder the death of his son had driven him to...this. 
Still, you wonder whether this is right, to take money from him like this. It feels as though you’ve taken advantage of this man, accepting to live in his house and eat his food in return for services that wouldn’t come to be.
But the emptiness of your wallet stings like a phantom lash, the desperation of your situation weighs on you and you close your mouth. 
Bruce takes your leave almost immediately after your tour concludes. You stand on the front steps with the doll in your arms, a puppet held like a toddler on your hip, and watch him pile into a sleek black car.
“If you need anything,” he says, “they’ll take care of you in town.”
Something in your consciousness snags on the tightness in his voice, something that’s just out of reach, a note you can’t quite make out. His eyes flicker down to the mass in your arms and you follow his gaze. There is nothing you find, the black of the doll’s sweater unruffled, the manufactured flush of his rosy cheeks still cool to the touch – still porcelain. It has not suddenly gained the weight and warmth of a real child.
“Jason’s a good boy. He won’t give you too much trouble,” Bruce murmurs. 
When you look up, you catch the comet tail of a funny look, winking out of existence before you can see it properly. It triggers a crawling sensation on the back of your neck that you try to tamp down. Grief is all it is. You chalk it up to grief.
He takes your leave, then, piling into his car with a brief goodbye to the doll. A cloud of dust kicks up behind him and by the time it settles, the car has vanished.
The doll remains tucked in its bed in the hours that follows your employer’s departure, and once or twice you’ll peer into the room, tugged by an invisible string towards the empty bedroom to make sure you haven’t dreamt it all. But every time you open the door, there it lies, porcelain and so very still. 
You take the rest of the evening to explore the house – properly this time, lingering in the various rooms of this huge home. Part of you wonders how you’ll manage to keep the place tidy. You’re no neat freak, but it seems a herculean task for one person to manage the entire household. Dust amasses easily, and you eye the high ceilings of each floor critically – how on earth are you meant to get up there?
You file it away as a worry for later, drifting in and out of rooms. An office, untouched, down the hall from your room with a sturdy, mahogany desk and large window which offers you a view of the estate. Guest rooms on guest rooms, white tarp covered furniture and slightly stale air. You find the library after a few turns, drawing closer to a table stacked with books. 
They’re well loved, each with a child’s scrawling handwriting in the front cover. Property of Jason Peter Todd. 
It sends a pang through you and you pick up the books, flipping through them absentmindedly. It’s fairly advanced for a younger child, you think. One of them piques your interest and when you leave the room a little while later, it’s with the hardcover in your hands.
Your first night in the manse is restless. The house is old. Every so often, the bones of the place snap and crack, shuddering under a great weight. You curl further into the heavy blankets of your bed, willing your burning eyes to close but the nap on the way up has left you unable to sleep. You let out a frustrated sigh, a hand smacking against the sheets before you push yourself up to sit against the headboard and switch on the bedside lamp. From where you sit, the mirror in the corner of the room shines your reflection back at you, a soft orange diffusing through the room. 
Down the hall, another snap of the foundations. You shiver, and reach for the book, opening the cover to the name scribbled inside. The clock on your phone reads a bright 2:43 and you flip the page.
To Mrs. Saville, England. St. Petersburgh, Dec. 11th, 17—. You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings. I arrived here yesterday, and my first task is to assure my dear sister of my welfare and increasing confidence in the success of my undertaking...
Dawn comes in slow breaths, the world swallowed in a cool, blue mist as the sky begins to lighten. You have long since succumbed to your fatigue, the pages of your borrowed book splayed open against your sheets and eyes closed to the world. The shadows lengthen on the floor, the house echoes, groans, and sunlight slips in through the gaps in your curtains. 
Still, you sleep.
.
.
.
The schedule that Bruce leaves you with is left on the table in Jason’s room, a sheaf of papers detailing his day at length – when he is to take his breakfast, lunch and dinner, when you are to sit down with him for his lessons. 
There are more pressing things that hold your attention – namely, the matter of your coursework. 
When you wake the following day, it is a little after noon and you curse when you realise you’ve slept half the day away. The list of things to do hasn’t grown any shorter in your search for a job. In fact, when you sit down at the desk in the office with your laptop and connect to the internet – poor, laggy – it only seems to have grown exponentially. 
You spend most of the day holed up there, staring at the screen of your laptop as you try to catch up, typing out notes upon notes until your eyes burn and the emptiness of your stomach is too hard to ignore. In the kitchen, you assemble a plate of what you can find. Cold cuts of meat, cheese in the fridge that seems edible, bread slathered in butter, a few slices of fruit.
It isn’t a proper meal, but it tides you over until dinner, when you wander out of the study to root through the butler’s pantry and put together a simple bowl of pasta. 
You eat alone in the kitchen, sitting at the island and staring at the grooves in the counter-top. The silence presses in on all sides of you and not even scrolling through social media, of which a limited number of posts actually deign to load, distracts you from the stillness of it all. For some reason the tinny sound of your music, filtering through your wired headphones, isn’t enough either. 
Dinner is a short affair, before you return to your work. 
It’s a gradual thing, the building anxiety in your gut. The loneliness and late hour are no friends of yours and the tottering pile of coursework threatens to topple over, crushing you beneath a mountain of assigned readings and lectures. The world had not waited for you to get your shit together, and midterms had crept up on you before you could blink.
It isn’t the time for panic. You stave it off when the anxiety simmering in your cells threatens to boil over, willing your tears away. The third cup of coffee at your desk side has grown cold, and the espresso tastes bitter when you bring the mug to your mouth, clinging to your tongue like film. 
You get back to bed well into the evening, too exhausted to shower the day off. It’s all you can do to let out a few bitter tears before unconsciousness claims you, a distant throbbing in your head that you ignore in favour of sleep.
how is it out there? haven’t heard from you since you left, just checking in you get there okay? let me know
The texts on your phone are responded to in a perfunctory manner – yes, everything’s fine. talk 2 u soon. very busy !! – before you shove it into a drawer and return to your work.
You think the isolation must be getting to you when things begin to go missing.
It’s easy to grow lonely out here, you realise on the third day when you pick up your phone to message a friend and the connection is so bad your texts barely go through. A rare break from your work, you curl up in the window seat of your bedroom and thumb through the photos on your camera roll. Faces you haven’t seen, fond memories of nights out and shared experiences – your old life seems farther away from you than ever, and part of you is a little bitter that it’s only the case for you. 
out for G’s bday!!! we miss u text u when im home?
Accompanying those texts are photos – they take an age to load, of course, but when they finally do, your eyes burn with jealousy at the wide, drunken grins, carefree and happy. 
It seems especially cruel to you that fate would deal you such a poor hand in comparison to those around you. The girls you love – whose circle you’d once been part of, young, privileged enough to be reckless – get to reel through their lives without a care. Here you were, miles away from anyone else, a grand total of fifty dollars to your name and with only a fucking doll for company. 
Envious, self loathing and miserable, you don’t reply to the messages.
You try to reason that you’ll get to it later, that you have work to do, that the house only seems to grow wider and lonelier around you. 
Work. 
You fling your phone to the side, pressing your hands to your face and letting out a heavy breath. It clatters against the floor with a dull thud and you can already imagine the newest addition to your screen’s collection of hairline fractures. 
You file it away – just another thing you don’t have time for.
Back in the study, you sit down at the desk, only to stop short. Where your pen and notebook had been, outlining your midterm paper, the ballpoint is nowhere to be seen. You peer over the edge of the desk, ducking your head underneath, but there’s no sight of it. You’re certain you’d left it just there, atop the paper. 
It’s innocuous enough that you forget about it, coming up with a replacement when you rifle through the drawer of the desk. The thought leaves your mind when you return to your work, new, blue ink crossing out black to scribble notes in the margins. It’s not a loss you mourn – or notice – much. 
Your bracelet, however, preceded by the vanishing of your clothes, is. 
A pair of jeans, your underwear and a shirt had been folded on the counter only twenty minutes ago when you’d entered the bathroom to take a shower. Now, clad in only your towel, you stare at an empty spot and feel something like fear prickle over your skin. 
Blood rushes in your ears the longer you remain in place – for what, you have no idea. Perhaps willing your things to return in between blinks, assure you that it had only been a trick of the light, or that the caffeine and stress had gotten to you.
No such luck. Your belongings do not reappear and the longer you remain in the bathroom, the more you feel like a sitting duck, like soft-bellied prey waiting to be caught. 
You venture out of the bathroom timidly, clutching the front of your towel. The floor is cold under your bare feet and you suck in a breath, trying to remain quiet. The house is quieter than usual, it feels like, when you peer carefully out into the hall. There is no sign of any disturbance, no sound from the lower levels or any of the surrounding rooms. 
The closed door of your bedroom is much more ominous than it ought to be. You stare at it for a long time, heart in your throat, before you reach for the doorknob with shaky hands.
A soft, scared noise leaves your throat before you can reel it in. Your room has been nothing short of ransacked, clothes and other belongings strewn about your bed and the floor. There isn’t an inch of it that hasn’t been left unturned, drawers pulled out, trunk at the foot of your bed sprung open, the fucking covers pulled back. You step further into the room, horror only growing as you spin slowly, taking it in. 
Somewhere down the hall, something clatters and your blood turns to ice in your veins. You whirl back to the open door and lunge forward to slam it shut, breath rattling in your chest as you fumble with the locks on it, palms sweaty and fingers trembling so badly you fear it’ll sweep open on you before you can latch it. Water drips into the carpet at your feet when you finally lock the door and back away, trembling lips pulling downwards. 
Fear blurs your vision in saltwater, slipping down your cheeks when the sound of laughter filters through the walls, a soft, child-like, playful sound that only drives you further backwards, a scream spilling from your lips when you bump into the post of your bed, the wood pressing against your back unexpectedly and startling you. 
“Please...” You don’t know what you’re pleading for, or who to. Tears stream down your damp face, and your breath hitches, stuttering over a sob when the shadows in the hall shift, the gap underneath the door showing movement right outside your door. 
And then – so sweetly, so softly you wonder if you’ve heard it wrong – your name.
You begin to cry in earnest then, taking in big, shuddering breaths that wrack through your body. Crouching, you press your hands to your face, sobbing louder when the voice continues – 
“Please come out, I promise I’ll be good.”
Your scream catches in your throat, turning into a spluttering cough when the door knob rattles slightly before stilling. You watch through teary eyes, snivelling, as the shadows move once more and then, as if it had never happened, the house falls into silence once more.
It takes a while for you to move from your spot on the floor, to relax your frozen muscles and pull yourself up, clinging to the banister of your bed to steady yourself. Snot and salt smeared across your face, you keep your eyes on the thin gap beneath the door, the small, solid mass in the centre of it.
You must be going crazy. The isolation must be getting to you. It’s the only reasonable explanation you can procure when you open the door and find your clothes in a clumsily folded pile, the metal of your bracelet glinting amongst the folds of fabric. Holding a hand to your head, you slump against the door frame, feeling the energy leave your body. 
“Fuck.”
It takes you a long time to clean up your room, pulling on your clothes with an eye kept on the door and returning your things to their places. Nothing is broken, but you don’t know whether you should be thankful for it. The house continues to breathe as it had before, the structure settling back into place after letting whatever had been outside your door loose. You don’t leave your room for the rest of the night.
Daylight returns some of your courage to you. You venture outside, clutching the end of a pair of scissors as a safeguard. You don’t know how much damage they’re actually capable of, meant for cutting through first aid dressings and fabric, the blade barely an inch long – but it feels comforting that you aren’t empty handed.
In his bedroom, where you had last left the Doll, you do not find it. Even the sunlight streaming through the gauzy curtains isn’t enough to fully shield you from your unease. You look all over the room, pushing aside the curtains, peering under the bed, but it isn’t there. 
The afternoon you had planned to spend studying is wasted away on a hunt for the thing. You check each of the surrounding rooms, first, before moving to the upper floors. In each, all that greets you is a thick layer of dust, white tarp and the smell of long undisturbed air. It grips you, the intense need to locate the doll. You cannot place anything beyond this feeling, only that you must find it.
In a downstairs office – what you assume serves as Mr Wayne’s study – you find, curiously, a few papers scattered over the edge of his desk. At first you are too preoccupied to pay it any mind, instinctively crouching to pick them up and arrange it. Your mind remains fixated on the task at hand. 
Chance, or perhaps the machinations of fate, pulls your sight to the bright, bold print on the paper in your hand and you process the text belatedly, stilling on the floor.
GOTHAM GAZETTE Wayne Heir Found: Body Recovered From Tragic Blast  Alexander Knox The body of Jason Todd, aged 10, was discovered yesterday after a blast in central Gotham that killed at least 200. The Gotham City Police Department is currently reporting this as a “tragic accident.”  Jason Todd is survived by his father, Bruce Wayne, who currently holds the position of CEO of Wayne Enterprises, and older brother Richard Grayson. He is remembered by his classmates and teachers as a “bright soul, with boundless potential, who was taken too soon.” The GCPD are working together with the Gotham City Fire Department in responding to this incident. As of this morning, Rescue and Recovery teams have made progress through 75% of the fallout zone and are continuing to do so.  Civilians are reminded to keep clear of the area until recovery efforts have been finalised. In remembrance of Jason’s life, the family asks that any charitable donations be made to the Catherine Todd Recovery Centre.
The photos of the fallout that accompany the article make your throat tighten, staring at the grey of a destroyed city block, smoking rubble and dark stains seeping from beneath cracked cement. The faded edges of the paper, the deep creases where it had been folded and unfolded – your heart twists painfully in your chest at the thought that Bruce had kept this reminder in here, all these years. 
It lingers with you long after you exit the room, searching for the doll with a slightly muddled mind. You’d known, of course, that his son had died – but you think of the violence of it all, how abruptly he’d been ripped from him. It settles in your chest uncomfortably, making a home for itself in the space beneath your sternum and pressing down on your oesophagus as you move through the house.
When you finally chance upon the doll – sat upright in plain sight in the downstairs sitting room – you pause a few feet away. The fear of last night’s incident clings to you, but with that is something else, the makings of a theory you haven’t quite gotten to, another, foreign feeling that outweighs your fear, tempers it into something malleable. You scrutinise the porcelain face, drawing closer slowly until you come to a stop in front of the armchair you’d been lounging in only yesterday.
Crouching, you stare into dull glass eyes. They remain lifeless, forever affixed on nothingness, unmoving. You pass a hand over it.
“Was it..” you hesitate, feeling acutely aware that you’re talking to an inanimate object, and half expecting an answer. You whisper, “Was it you, last night?”
There is no answer. Of course there isn’t. Still, you stare a moment longer, before your gaze slides over to the leaf of paper that’s tucked beneath it’s leg – the schedule of rules you’re meant to abide by in Bruce’s absence.
You look back up to the doll. 
.
.
.
You’ve bowed to the pressure of your isolation and gone mad, you think absently as you sink a knife into the flesh of an apple. Clumsily cut, you arrange the slices onto a plate in the kitchen and slide it onto the small table where you’ve sat the doll. You lean forward until you’re level with it, and narrow your eyes.
“Is it you?” you ask again. Silence hangs in the air of the kitchen and you begin to feel a little hopeless, clinging to this half-formed idea. 
You stand and turn, taking a few steps forward into the butler’s pantry but the sound of footsteps makes you whirl around, heart in your throat. The doll remains in place, but – the plate is empty. You draw in a shaky breath, moving closer. 
“What the fuck. What the fuck.” Your hands tremble as you peer around the kitchen, eyeing the closed door. It’s implausible that anyone might have moved in such a short space of time without your noticing – you’re the only one in the room. 
You try once more, this time without turning around, keeping your gaze fixed on the doll as you slide a plate of toast in front of him. It’s covered in a thin smear of hazelnut spread, the chocolate melting over the warm bread.
The doll does not move. 
Your brows draw together, confused. A few beats. The toast is cooling, and a silly, superficial part of you worries that it won’t taste any good if this goes on any longer.
“Are you shy...?” you wonder out loud. The doll does not answer you but you turn away slowly anyway, fixing your eyes on the back door.
A second passes, and then another. You wait. 
You feel it then, a few moments later, rather than hear it. It’s difficult to place, the manner in which the very atmosphere in the kitchen shifts, to let you know you are no longer the only one in here. There is the rustle of something moving, the bread, you think, and then it recedes entirely without a sound. 
You wait a few beats before you turn, and your breath punches out of you in a rush when you note the once again empty plate. Disbelieving, you laugh.
“Holy shit.” Rounding the table, you pick up the doll, handling its weight much more carefully as you hold it out in front of you. “It was you, then, last night. You know, if you wanted my attention, you’ve got a funny way of showing it, kid. I think I lost ten years of my life with that little stunt.”
The threat seems to abate, after that, when you consider it. The spirit of a lonely child tugs at your poor heartstrings, and when you open your bedroom door after your evening shower to find a clumsily arranged sandwich, it only softens you further. You go to check on the doll – on Jason – and find him sat in bed, his schedule next to him once again. 
“So this is what you want, hm?” you mutter under your breath, scanning the paper. Your lips tug downwards into a pout, and you reach out to fix his hair. “Poor thing. You must be bored out here, with no one else to play with.”
He doesn’t say anything, but you find you already know the answer.
Rules 1. No Guests 2. Never Leave Jason Alone 3. Save Meals in Freezer 4. Never Cover Jason’s Face 5. Read a Bedtime Story 6. Play Music Loud 7. Clean the Traps 8. Jason is Never to Leave 9. Kiss Goodnight
You bring him almost everywhere with you after that. 
There’s a shift in your mind after your discovery, a distinction that shifts the doll into Jason. You’re able to rest a little easier now, knowing what had been behind the disturbances, and that it wasn’t something you had to fear. He sits comfortably in a chair next to you in the study, keeping you company as you return to your studies, worries that you’d been dealing with something more nefarious comfortably assuaged. 
You learn to communicate with him, in your own shared way. The music you play as you study is no longer isolated to your headphones, but filters through the speakers of your laptop as you work. When you begin making your own offhand remarks to him, you don’t know, but as the hours pass it feels less like you’re unaccompanied and more like you’re studying with a friend. Every so often, there is a sign – a tap, or the roll of something on the floor outside the study – that signals you to take a break, pushing away from the desk to take a turn about the room with Jason in your arms. 
Once, during a longer break, you bring him along on a walk outside. He doesn’t seem to like it very much – hiding your notebook until you figure it out. And you suppose spirits don’t require much exercise, so you let it be, content to take quick trips to the kitchen for snacks. You keep it for after the day is over, right before the sun sets, stretching your legs as you walk around the gardens before dinner.
Before you’ve realised, you’ve built a camaraderie with Jason. It’s easy for you to confide in him, slumping back in your desk chair with your hands pressed to your face. Tonight, the amount of coursework seems, not for the first time, never-ending. Tears streak through your fingers as you quietly sob.
“I’m so tired,” you cry, and a little hiccup stutters out of you. “It’s so...it’s just unfair. None of this would’ve happened if I’d – if I wasn’t so busy trying to look for a place.”
You work yourself up, tears smearing against the deep hollows beneath your eyes – despite how comfortable your bed is, lately you’ve still been working late into the night, long after you put Jason to sleep with a kiss to his brow. Though the night is young enough that you won’t have to tuck Jason in for a while, it still presses on you. There is too much to do, and not nearly enough time. 
“It’s not fair,” you mumble again, weakly. You slide a look over to Jason through swollen eyes, pressing your cheek against your knees. “Everyone else gets to – they get to not care about money and they get to enjoy their lives. It’s just...not fair.”
You close your eyes, hiding your face in the fabric of your leggings. Your head feels congested, after crying so much, heavy, and stuffed with wool. A few minutes later, as you’re working up the will to return to your work, you hear a thud. 
When you look up you find an apple on the corner of the desk, bright red and freshly washed, if the few drops of water that cling to it are anything to go by. The sight makes you burst into fresh tears again, a kindness that feels too tender for your poor, bruised heart. You reach for the fruit, feeling the juice run down your wrist when you sink your teeth into its flesh. Mumbling a thank you, you feel, for the first time since your arrival, your hopelessness begins to flicker out.
.
.
.
A crash wakes you in the middle of the night, startling you from your sleep with a jolt. At first, you think it might be Jason. You groan quietly, rolling over into the pillow with a grumble of his name before you sit up and shove the covers off. It’s particularly freezing tonight and you reach for a robe as you shuffle over to your bedroom door only to stop short when, through the walls, floating up from the lower floors, you hear voices.
Your blood turns to ice in your veins and you register the shattering of something downstairs. In the moments that follow, you barely think, flying down the hall to where Jason’s bedroom is and clutching him close to your chest. All the while, the racket downstairs grows louder, raucous bickering and jeering laughter nipping at your heels as you push into a spare room and slip into the depths of a wardrobe. 
You kick yourself when you realise you haven’t brought your phone, the landline in Jason’s room being too far out of reach now to dial the local police. You can only press yourself further into the wardrobe, cradling Jason with a hand on the back of his head like you might your own child – like he shouldn’t have to bear witness to the violence enacted on his home. Tears – how many have you spent since your arrival, it must be enough to fill an ocean – slip onto your collar and you hide in a case that smells of mothballs, the fur of old coats brushing against your arms and face. 
“It’s going to be okay,” you whisper, feeling half crazed as you comfort Jason. “We’re going to be okay.”
It’s the longest night of your life, waiting for them to leave. Even without you leaving a crack in the wardrobe door, the noise from downstairs would have reached you. It’s jumbled in your fear-addled mind, but you hear the shatter of glass and yelling – they break out into arguments amongst themselves. You can’t make out the words, but it carries the threat of further violence – the kind that goes beyond stolen valuables and broken glassware. 
And then, abruptly, you think you hear a whisper of something, before it all falls still.
The darkness in the wardrobe is stifling but you remain there, clutching Jason with your head bowed until you hear a shout announcing the presence of the police. 
It’s only when the Commissioner announces himself, climbing to the second floor of the manor and stepping into the room, that you crawl out from the wardrobe. You’re shaking when he steps forward to meet you, arms coming around you to help you stand.
You’re coaxed into a blanket and ushered into a chair as they question you – the tiles of the kitchen floor are freezing under your bare feet and you wince when you catch the looks his deputies share amongst themselves. You must look like a mess, tear tracks drying on your face and cradling a doll in your arms. 
There’s a look in the Commissioner’s eyes, as he questions you, that makes the hair on the back of your neck raise – you forget about it quickly enough when he presses further, but later you’ll recall it. There’s a lack of surprise in his gaze, as though he hadn’t expected any less. You figure he’s hardened by his profession. Still, it lingers in the recesses of your mind.
They clean it up quick enough, and they leave right as the sun begins to creep over the horizon. You see them off, standing on the front steps with a shock blanket wrapped around your shoulders and Jason in your arms. When the last of the car headlights fade out of sight, you turn back inside.
You venture into the living room, staring at where the sunlight catches on a stray shard of glass, scuffs on the floor where heavy boots had tracked mud in on the hardwood. The lingering smell of peroxide – all that it suggests had happened here – makes you let out a shaky breath, clutching Jason closer.
You know it then, what – who had kept you safe. And if there were any lingering doubts about him, they dissolve under your tongue. The solid weight of the mass in your arms is an anchor, grounding you, reminding you. Safe. You’re unharmed, you’re okay. The intrusion is gone, it’s just the both of you now. You turn your head, pressing your mouth to his hairline. It’s cold beneath your lips as you whisper, a tear carving a path down your cheek. 
“Thank you, Jason.” 
.
.
.
After the intrusion things, mercifully, begin to settle. You’re glad for it, sure you’ve fulfilled your share of excitement for the next decade. You return to your and Jason’s routine, rebuilding your shattered safe space with every album you introduce him to and each portion of coursework you complete. Brick by brick, you patch the rift. 
The evening you finally feel as though you’ve begun to make headway, you turn to him, overjoyed, patting his hand excitedly.
“I think we deserve a bit of celebration, don’t we, Jason?”
You make dinner for the both of you, a simple but favourite pasta dish of yours that you’re grateful to have made extra of when Jason clears his plate in the time it takes you to carry your own plate into the dining room where you’d set him down. You pout at him sympathetically, running a hand over his head.
“If you’re still hungry,” you murmur, taking a seat and spearing a pasta shell on your fork, “there’s more in the pan, sweetheart.”
In the next room, a clatter almost immediately and it draws a smile on your face. You treat yourself to a glass of something sweet, giggling when the bubbles flit up your nose and pop. The taste lingers on your tongue when, after dinner, you scoop him up into your arms and travel into the living room. A record is placed onto the old gramophone and you spin on your feet, socked feet sinking into the plush carpet as you dance around the room. You spin, and spin, and spin until you land on the couch, laughing breathlessly. On the couch, Jason watches until you pick him up once more and dance with him in your arms. You’re careful with him, conscious of tripping in your state and dropping him. You think he might enjoy it, when you hear the whisper of laughter alongside your own.
When you tuck him into bed that night, it’s with a giddy smile as you kiss his forehead. You go to bed feeling floaty, lighter than you’ve felt in an age. There’s a buzz in your veins that isn’t entirely the drink. You’re happy. It isn’t the same as the life you’d wanted back so fervently, but you’re hopeful. It feels, for the first time, like things might work out. You cling to this victory with a vice grip, unwilling to be parted from it.
Your head hits the pillow and you sleep easily, but wake in the middle of the night, slipping out of hazy dreams into consciousness like slipping upstream. You’re distinctly aware of the wetness pooling between your legs, and the lingering warmth of the drinks.
It’s been a long time. The stress of everything – moving, money, adjusting to the manor – has left you unable to focus on anything else. Tonight, though, a reprieve from it all, a break in the clouds offers you a spike in your energy, a longing that heats the blood in your veins and makes your stomach twist. For the first time in a long time, you indulge, fingers creeping beneath the waistband of your pants.
.
.
.
He watches you touch yourself, the night spent tending to what is a seemingly insatiable appetite. Hardening in his trousers, he stands behind the panelling and a large hand curls into a fist by his side, nails digging into the meat of his palm so hard he draws blood. You work yourself up, differently from the way you had when he’d revealed himself. It’s gentler, fingers skimming over your skin beneath the fabric of your shirt. In the dark his gaze sharpens on the soft plane of your stomach, your body shifting under every touch, pliant and responsive. 
You come, and it isn’t enough. He tastes copper, sees stars when you kick the covers off and his keen eyes make out the folds of your cunt, sodden and wanting. Your body is covered in a sheen of sweat when you finally, finally, drift off to sleep. Hungry little thing, his girl. You’ll want for nothing, he thinks, remembering the debauched way you’d put your fingers to your mouth. He recalls the slick sounds, the little whines, drawn out and practically demanding he come forth to please you. With no one around for miles to hear you, unknowingly, you feed him with your gasps. 
He longs for it, imagines putting his mouth to you. How you’d keen, how you’d thrash under his hold like you had tonight, legs kicking out under the full force of your pleasure. But he’d hold you down, he thinks, breathing hard, draw even more wretched sounds from that mouth – pretty, soft mouth that always curled around his name so sweetly – than the ones you’d spilled out tonight. Prettier, than the sobs of the last few weeks, that’d had him gritting his teeth. He likes you drunk and dizzy on pleasure like this, likes the breathless, open mouthed smile that pushes the apples of your cheeks upwards. This, he thinks, is all you should know, tears born of desire. Not jittery hands, or envy.
Frail, pretty thing. You need to be taken care of. You wouldn’t know worry ever again, he would take care of you, would take care of everything. You’ll want for nothing.
His chest heaves at the thought, muscles tensing as if readying to crash through the wood at a moment’s notice. 
No, he thinks, taking a shuddering breath. He can almost taste you from here but – not yet. 
.
.
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You wake up sticky, despite the chill in the air. Late autumn carries with it hints of the oncoming winter – you think it’s going to be a bad one, if your fingertips are numb already. It takes a bit of maneuvering to untangle yourself from the web of sheets and when you finally stand, there’s a distant ache in your head, a dryness in your throat that makes you grimace. 
You drag yourself into the shower, scrubbing off the filth of last night’s activities and letting the warm water run over your muscles. The steam fills the air of the bathroom, thick enough to trap the warmth when you step out and reach for your towel. 
It confuses you, though, once you’ve dried off and moisturised, that when you turn to reach for your clothes, they aren’t there. A sense of déjà vu settles over you. Significantly more awake, you wrap the towel around you once more and make the trek back to your room, a little peeved.
“Jason,” you call out as you pad down the hall, trying to keep the bite in your tone from being too harsh. “This isn’t funny, it’s cold. I’m not very impressed right now.”
Not even a laugh, but you’re too huffy to notice, picking up your clothes from where he’d relocated them to the top of your dresser and shutting your door firmly. 
When you go to pick him up before breakfast – closer to lunch, now, really – you frown at him. 
“Not cool, kid,” you tell him. “What if I got sick? Who’d make you lunch, then, hm? You can’t survive on peanut butter sandwiches alone.”
It feels a little as though you’ve regressed over the next week. More and more things go missing, only to turn up in the oddest places. You think he might be a little more playful, finally comfortable around you, but it’s hard to find gratification in that when your underwear joins the catalogue of missing things, turning up when you take your laundry out to hang even though you know you hadn’t put them in the washing. So maybe there’s a bit of wilful ignorance there. You don’t know how to address this, the pressing feeling of eyes on you at every moment now, an obvious presence that lingers around you more insistently, it feels, than before.
And you can’t place what’s brought this on, don’t know what’s to blame for this turn in his mood, toeing the line of malevolent, no longer innocently playful but shifting into something more intent, dull blue eyes seeming darker these days, more watchful. 
“What’s going on, huh?” you ask, when you put him to bed, brushing a hand over his hair. “How come you don’t wanna be good anymore? Is something up? I don’t know, kid, I’m not a mind reader.”
You let out a breath, shaking your head. Leaning forward, you brush your lips against his forehead. “Let’s have a better day tomorrow, okay? Goodnight, Jason.”
Midnight comes to you in slow winks that night, the pages of Jason’s book marked with a ribbon and placed carefully to the side with the half-formed, tired thought that you would talk to him about it tomorrow. Perhaps it would soften whatever had him agitated as of late. The lamp switches off, and you breathe out into the darkness, one last sigh before sleep claims you. 
You wake up to a pressing blackness. Not even the moonlight breaks through the clouds to offer you reprieve tonight, the very air sucked out of the room. Groggy, sleep still clinging to you like silken threads of a spider’s web around your eyes, you blink rapidly. The darkness settles around you and your vision adjusts.
The first thing you notice is the hulking silhouette at the foot of your bed and you freeze under the covers, breath punching out of your chest. 
Your first thought is to scream. Before your lips can even part, a rough palm is pressing over your mouth and tears prick your eyes. 
(What’s the point? Who is there to hear you scream so far out here?)
In the dim, your tearful eyes adjust further and your heart seizes in your chest when you make out the glint of white – a porcelain mask, a face that’s been your only companion these last few weeks. The cupid’s bow, rosy cheeks greyed in the dark. Down to the very last detail, it’s him.
The cause of all the haunting, the thief of your belongings, sentry of this manor. Not a spirit, but real, solid flesh and blood. He looms over you. There’s a solid weight that settles into the cradle of your hips, arms that cage you in, the smell of sawdust and something. Unbidden, your mind tugs back to you the missing lace, satin stolen by unseen hands – the very hands that press on your mouth and side, now, calloused, roughened. 
The whisper of your name hangs in the air between you, your resounding whimper muffled.
It’s faster than it ought to be, your compliance, going limp in his hold and ceasing your thrashing. You stare tearfully, heart in your throat, up at him. He lingers like this a moment longer before withdrawing, seemingly satisfied you won’t bolt. Slowly, you push up onto your elbows. The movement brings your face closer to his, and it takes every ounce of your willpower not to flinch at the proximity. He seems pleased enough, however, head tilting, rather like a cat, tracking your movements carefully. 
It isn’t as though you’re going anywhere, his weight yet to lift from your legs. You reach out to the side, a shaking hand scrabbling for the flip of a switch. The sudden flood of orange light into the room, soft though it is, makes you flinch.
It’s the eyes that you’re drawn to first. Through the holes of the mask, you meet ultramarine eyes, leagues beyond that of the painting downstairs, which couldn’t hold a candle to the vibrant irises that stare back at you now. Your breath catches when he leans in a hair’s breadth closer and he pauses. 
Your voice fails you, when you part your lips to speak, frightened tears wetting your face. You clear your throat, and try once more.
“Jason?”
Dark lashes flutter, something pleased passing through his gaze, something like an unspoken affirmation. It floors you, the blood rushing from your head and leaving you dizzy all of a sudden. He swallows your field of vision, so impossibly big, broad and nothing about him carrying any of the delicateness your doll had. Dark curls fall over the edges of the mask, dark hair peeking beneath it, trailing down the sides of his jaw. 
You reach out, carefully, and he lets you press a hand to his chest – clad in a thin, dirtied henley. He gives under the slightest pressure, drawing back until he’s sitting on his haunches, your legs free. You let go, pushing yourself further up against the headboard of the bed and bringing your knees to your chest. He watches, silent, unmoving except for the slow, steady rise and fall of his chest. Real, solid, flesh and blood.
“You’ve been alive this whole time?” The dust clings to your sticky cheeks and you swipe at them again. Your breaths are shaky as you come down from your fright. He nods, and you wince, the porcelain mask shining as it reflects the light of your lamp.
“Can you – will you take that off? Please?” He stills and you, foolish, softened by fear or trust, scoot forward a little, legs folding under you. Now it’s his turn to widen the distance between you. You let out a soft warble, lips trembling. “It’s scaring me.”
“...Scary?” His voice is hoarse from disuse, and your eyes drop to his sides, watching his fingers curl into fists. “Under...you won’t like it..”
Your breath catches on a sob and you shake your head. You’re still shaking, still scared. He draws a little closer, hands raising as if to reach for you, and you flinch. “Please, Jason.”
Time stretches so long you fear you’ll remain here forever, trembling, suffocating, before big hands reach up to his face. He’s shaking, too, you notice absently. His head bows when the mask is discarded to the side, lying atop your sheets face down. The shadows obscure him slightly, cloaking his face from you, only the dark thatches of hair that cover his jaw visible to you. 
You whisper his name.
His eyes flash when he lifts his head, blue flickering into a green glow so suddenly it feels like a trick of the light – gone in an instant. Scarred flesh, waxy, pink patches of skin and pale, jagged remnants of lacerations; he bares himself to you and your breath catches in your throat. 
There are remnants of a classical beauty in his face, beneath the scarring. It’s the kind that would’ve made you stop short on the street, that would’ve brought warmth to your face if you’d met his eyes across a subway car during rush hour. The violence wrought renders him no less handsome but lends a brutality to him, the oppressive aura that cloaks him impossible to ignore, laid bare across his face. Still, there’s a vulnerability in his eyes that your attention snags on, a child-like wariness that reminds you of the headline you’d found in Bruce’s office that day.
Silly, soft-hearted girl. It makes your heart ache, and once the tears start, they refuse to stop. Your hand draws closer to cradle his face, hovering a hair’s breadth from his cheek before he makes the leap for you, leaning against your touch. His own comes up, fingers pressing beneath your eye.
“Crying..”
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, sniffling, wiping your nose on your sleeve. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Crying for me?” His voice sounds odd, a tone you can’t quite read through your tears. You try to look away but he refuses to let you, clumsy fingers swiping beneath your eyes.
“You didn’t deserve that. That must’ve been so scary,” you sniffle, and look up at him. “Why were you...why’d you hide? Did – did your father know?” 
His eyes flash at the mention of Bruce, and you still at the anger that lines his face. 
“Bastard,” he mutters, a decade’s worth of pain packed into one word. It hints to a history you aren’t privy to, raw, jagged wounds still bleeding from an age old hurt. He stiffens and you slide your hand to his shoulder.
“Okay, don’t – we don’t have to talk about him,” you defer hastily, wary of the way his muscles ripple, the thrum of lightning barely contained beneath his skin. It reminds you of something else. “Was...It was you...that night, when they -”
Your breath stutters on the memory of the invasion, and his eyes darken. He crowds into your space more, ducking his head to meet your eyes. More green than blue now, he wills you to understand the severity of his promise.
“Keep you safe,” he says, and you barely notice the hand that curls possessively around your hip, your heart thrumming anxiously in its cavity at the threat of violence his words carry. And yet, you can’t deny it to yourself that it quiets a part of you, too, stills a restlessness that had lingered in your skin after that night. 
You don’t consider that night, why he had chosen to reveal himself to you – properly, in all his glory, stripped of parlour tricks and the facade – you’re too relieved that he doesn’t intend to hurt you to linger on it. He lets you guide him back to his room and draw the covers over him, the mask carefully carried in your hands and placed on the bedside table. He catches your hand when you go to leave and for a moment you fear he’ll demand something of you, blue eyes flashing cat’s eye green for the briefest of moments. He lets you go after a moment’s scrutiny, and you eke out a timid goodnight, returning to your bedroom in a daze. 
Perhaps you ought to have, though. Perhaps it might have suited you better to linger on the why, to consider what this meant, that there was something in motion, had been since your arrival. Exhaustion renders you pliant, however, and you slip into dreamless sleep the moment your head hits the pillow, the lingering smell of sawdust beneath your nose.
.
.
.
Jason makes it easy on you. It’s a little eerie in a way, re-learning him and yet finding all the hints of your spirit companion in him. He doesn’t stray far from you, content to continue to sit at your side when you sit down for your classes. In the morning, when you go to check on him, he is already awake, and you usher him into the bathroom, unsure at all whether you even should follow the schedule but moving mechanically if only for something to do, to avoid floundering. He waits by the door as you brush your teeth, eyes fixed on you. 
You find yourself returning the stare, brows furrowing as you take in every inch of him. Dust and dirt clings to his skin. You wonder when the last time he’d bathed was. You tell him as much, receiving only a blank stare. Uncommunicative, even now. 
“You should take a bath,” you murmur, worrying the skin of your lip with your teeth. “I don’t want you to get sick, or something.”
He’s compliant enough, letting you steer him into the bathroom and turning the knobs of the tub. Water comes spraying out, and you startle a little when the pipes whine, but ultimately settle. Dipping a hand in, you test the temperature before looking over your shoulder. He stands by your side, and you tilt your head to the water.
“Will you check if this is okay?” He obeys, dropping his chin in a short nod after brushing his fingers in. You offer him a short smile, and move to stand.
“I’ll try to find some clothes, this is...” you hesitate, looking at the hem of his shirt. “You can’t wear this.”
But his arm blocks your path when you go to step around him, curling around your midsection to keep you in place. You look up, startled. You try to move but he doesn’t budge, looking down at you intently. 
“You’ll stay.” It isn’t a request, nor a command, but he delivers it firmly, a matter of fact statement – that you will remain here, with him. You balk, blood rushing to your face.
“I can’t!” you protest, stepping back if only to escape the barricade of his arm, your hands coming up to rest on your hips. “That’s not – Jason, it’s not-”
“You’ll stay,” he repeats, simply, rock-salt voice echoing slightly in the bathroom. Water drips into the steaming bath, and you’re at an impasse, abject indignation warming your veins.
In the end, you give in. You think there was no possible outcome where you did not acquiesce to his whims – you recall the destruction he’d wreaked on his father’s office the night you had foregone a kiss goodnight, frightening you back into his room to press your lips to his temple. You sit by the side of the tub, handing him a cloth and keeping your eyes trained firmly ahead of you as he scrubs himself down. Somehow, you end up washing his hair for him, soapy water providing a suitable enough cover that you breathe a sigh of relief. It’s the gentlest you’ve ever seen him, pleased and bath soft, skin flushed and curls wet against his forehead as you pour water over his crown. 
He only lets you go once the water begins to grow cool and you insist on finding clean clothes for him. It’s easier than you think, rifling through the drawers in the master bedroom and finding a pair of soft trousers and t-shirt that you figure will fit him. You keep your back turned when he emerges from the bath, waiting until he’s dressed to face him with warmth in your cheeks. The glimpse you’d caught as he’d risen from the water had made you squeak, hard lines and dark hair, wet skin glistening – all Man, real, breathing, human man. It’s a jarring contrast from the sexless porcelain of his counterpart. Your heart skips a beat at the sight of his broad chest and you promptly whirl around, guilt swarming in your stomach at your momentary lapse in senses.
(In his mind he thinks, don’t you know you’re all his, as he is yours? There is no inch of him that isn’t for your eyes.)
When you sit down for your classes later, you’re more conscious of his presence than ever, a warm arm diffusing soft heat at your elbow. He only shakes his head when you ask if he would rather do something else and you get the feeling later, when you take a bathroom break, that he would follow after you, had you not closed it between you. 
He sits close when you have lunch, knee knocking into yours beneath the table in the kitchen. You watch him eat, ravenous, and your wariness melts a little at the familiarity. This, you knew. This, you could handle. When he finishes his plate you push your own towards him in lieu of pointing to the pan but he surprises you – shaking his head and watching you carefully until he’s satisfied you’re fed. 
It’s sort of like losing a friend to gain a guard dog. He lingers by your side, catalogues your every movement and bosses you around where he sees fit. You don’t know how to feel about it, and don’t witness the full extent of it until, midway through your lunch, there’s a knock at the back door.
Reactive, he’s a wraith at your back, chair clattering and pressing you away. No guests. You recall the first rule in his schedule as you wrangle him, a hand tight on his chest to set him at ease. You figure it’s fear, in his own, muddled way. There had been a break in, after all, he wouldn’t take kindly to anyone else on the property – you were the only one meant to be here.
“It’s only the groceries,” you whisper, fingers circling around his wrist and pressing down against his pulse to draw his attention. Green eyes strike you down, near unseeing in his wrath and you startle. The seconds pass and you figure the longer this goes unhandled, the likelier Jason is to react for the worse. You take a deep breath, wrangling your own unease to step in front of him, blocking off his path to the door and squeezing his wrist once more.
“I’m not going anywhere. It’s okay,” you murmur, stroking the back of his hand comfortingly. “Just wait here for me, okay? It’s okay.”
He lingers in the room, though it seems only you’re aware of it as the delivery boy brings the bags in. You’re thankful he doesn’t loiter, unwilling to test Jason’s thin patience. The very shadows in the room seem to stretch the longer it takes and by the time the final bag is carried in and the receipt is left on the counter, you fear the kitchen floor will start to crack beneath your feet.
He’s on you the moment the door shuts, wrapping himself around you to run big hands over your sides, assessing you like he hadn’t kept you in his line of sight the entire exchange. You sigh, letting him tilt your chin, inspecting your face. The green in his eyes has completely swallowed the shades of blue, pupils dilated as he closes in on you.
“I’m fine,” you assure. He seems ill-convinced, but finally lets go. “Come on. You’re probably still hungry. Maybe that’s why you’re acting like this.”
He lets out a puff of breath in response and you let out a small laugh. 
You make the mistake that night, when you see him off to bed, of unthinkingly voicing out loud as you look around the room,
“Isn’t it -” you hesitate, feeling your words catch on something. You ought to listen to it, but he tilts his head inquisitively, and it coaxes it out of you. “Doesn’t it feel weird sleeping in here? It’s a kid’s room. I don’t think you even fit in that bed.”
His eyes gleam, and you don’t understand what for until he pushes up from the covers and stands. Your brows draw together, confused, but you have no time to question it, weight on your shoulders pushing you forward until you’re steered down the hall to – 
Your room.
You stare, wide eyed, as he pushes you; he’s clumsy, but gentle, fingers coaxing you under your covers before rounding the bed to slip under them on your other side. Your heart catches in your throat, alarmed.
“Jason – no, this isn’t what I meant, you-” He turns on his side and you fall silent. 
“Kiss goodnight,” he murmurs, a hand reaching out beneath the soft weight of your covers to tug you closer, warmth searing through your pants where it rests on your hip. You resist, pressing against his chest to create a modicum of distance between you, but it’s impossible against his strength. Again, your mind supplies you unhelpfully with attention to the heat that rolls off him, the proximity or lack thereof between you. 
“Are you – did the delivery upset you? Is this why-” You’re grasping for straws, searching for something to cling to, a reason that softens the weight of his gaze and all that lies behind it. You blind yourself to it, convince yourself the flash of his eyes is affirmation, let yourself believe it, breathing out a shaky, “Okay.”
“Kiss.” He repeats the word, and your chest presses against his. He’s a furnace, warmth trapped beneath the covers threatening to burn you alive. Your mouth is dry as you lean up, smoothing a hand against his curls to flatten them backwards, bare his temple to you. 
“Goodnight,” you whisper, into his hairline, lips brushing against the raised outline of a pale scar. 
Slowly, the sands in your hourglass begin to trickle to an end.
.
.
.
The kisses brush closer and closer these days. No longer do your lips meet the spot at his hairline, or his temple. The first time Jason brings a hand to your cheek and guides you lower, you’re too surprised to do anything, kissing the higher point of his cheekbone and pulling away hastily, face warm. It feels so incredibly inappropriate, letting him continue to blur the boundaries between you. He makes a noise of discontent the next night, when you return to his forehead, only settling back into your sheets when your mouth finds his cheek. The hand on the back of your neck is heavy, fingers brushing against the small hairs in feather light touches and sending shocks of something down your spine. 
He sleeps on his side, always, facing you. You can feel his eyes on your back as you feign sleep. Is it unwise, to turn your back to him, you wonder. The idea of sleeping on your other side makes your stomach curdle, his breath fanning over your cheek, nose brushing against yours – much too close, too intimate for the way he’s been acting lately. You fear if you give him an inch you’ll never come back from it.
(Silly little thing. You were his the moment you stepped over the threshold.)
Tonight, Jason is heavier handed with you than usual. Something simmers in your gut as he presses on the back of your neck, green eyes near luminescent under the swathes of soft orange light from your lamp. You waver, but it’s all you can do to give in, your arms threatening to buckle under you if you don’t follow. Hovering over his side, you bend your head.
Lower still, Jason pulls you to him – you only barely manage to avoid meeting his lips with your own, skating the corner of his mouth and planting a clumsy peck there. When you chance a look up at him, he’s already watching you, a crease where his eyebrows meet.
“Kiss goodnight,” he says, expectantly, voice rough with an undercurrent of something eerily like want. It makes your breath hitch.
“I...I did,” you stammer, one last attempt at resistance. He doesn’t buy it, blinking slowly at you. 
“Kiss.”
Saliva pools in your mouth the longer he stares at you, time stretching between you as he waits and when you swallow, his gaze flicks down to track the movement of your throat, pupils dilating. Now, only a thin ring of green surrounds the vastness of black, observing your every action. 
Finally, seemingly sick of your inaction, Jason shifts upwards on the bed and you squeak in surprise, reeling backwards only to meet the solid wall of his hand. Your heart races in your chest, sounds spilling out of your mouth that are muffled when he closes the distance and slants his lips against yours.
It’s a wet, messy thing, clumsy and hungry. Jason’s tongue slides against your bottom lip hungrily and you, foolishly, part your lips to protest. He only uses it to push further, tongue tracing the contours of your mouth, a deep groan wracking through him, a deep-seated tremor that you think he must have been holding back for a long time. His hand fists the material of your pants, the other bearing down on your neck as if to press you even closer. Your own are helpless against his chest, unbalanced and tottering forward onto his lap, trying to push away –
“Mmh, no, J-” you’re cut off, unable to get out a single word. “’S wrong.”
He ignores you, swallowing the pitiful whimper you let out to lick into your mouth. You’re dizzy, head spinning from the lack of air, mouth swollen and spit slicked. Against his chest, your fists push weakly, your strength pale in comparison to his. Absently, a part of you wonders if that’s really the reason you aren’t trying harder – a distinct pressure growing between your legs that you try to tamp down. 
Your spine arches ever so slightly under his fingers, legs bracketing his hips to accommodate his size. The throb you feel between your legs is not only his.
But it’s wrong. You can’t.
Uncaring of your internal conflict, the world around you tips in a matter of seconds and you blink up at Jason, vision swimming as he comes into sight. Your positions are now reversed, with him hovering over your body, pressed flat against the wrinkled sheets. Your clothing is rumpled, top riding up the expanse of your stomach and baring your flesh to hungry eyes.
He remains between your legs, an arm descending beside you to hold himself up as he closes in. You shake your head, twisting to avoid the wet press of his mouth against yours again, your hand coming to press against his shoulder.
“No– ‘s wrong,” you murmur, desperately, trying to push him away. Undeterred, his mouth trails over the line of your jaw and you stumble over a gasp when his teeth graze over your skin, taking it between his lips and nipping, tongue flicking out almost immediately after to soothe the sting, something like a keen in his throat when you squirm beneath him. You draw blood trying to stifle the sound you nearly make as a result of it, legs going to press together but only tightening around his waist.
“Not,” he pants, hand on your leg squeezing, trailing higher until it skims the space above your waistband, fingers ghosting over your bare belly. His touch leaves a trail of wildfire behind it, burning licks over your skin that make you gasp. “Not wrong.”
You whimper, a haze of desire settling like a cloud cover over your guilt when he flattens his hand over your stomach and presses down, eyes flashing possessively as he delivers his next blow. “Not wrong,” he repeats in a reverent whisper, leaning down until you’re nose to nose. The smell of cedarwood fills your nose, a history he’s unable to scrub no matter how much of your soap he uses, the milk and honey scented liquid bubbling over his skin. You hold your breath, eyes widening, the flex of his bicep in your periphery as he supports his weight with one arm. “You’re mine.”
The tears leak out of your eyes, and you shake your head. “I’m – not.”
Nose caressing yours – “You are,” he confirms steadily, voice low. 
You understand then, the curtains pulling back to reveal the future that has been hanging in the wings this whole time for you, the fate you’d sealed for yourself. The long absence of his father, the shiftiness in Bruce’s demeanour when you’d met him and the eagerness in which he took his leave. Your very purpose, here – all of it, every strand, threaded, curling around you. 
It all leads to Jason.
He swallows your sob with an open mouthed kiss, then, and the sands of time run out.
It’s horrifying, the gentleness he treats you with, divesting you of your clothing like you might wilt under his fingers if he isn’t careful, delicate flower that he thinks you to be. There’s adoration in every touch, worship in his eyes. Layer by layer, they come off until you’re bare beneath him, swathes of orange light swimming over your belly and lighting a fire in his eyes. They’re green again, now, near neon in hue, teeming with barely restrained hunger. His fingers shake, hovering over your sides, pressing you down when you try to raise your arms. One broad hand swallows your wrists, held against the soft flesh of your stomach as the other begins to tug his shirt off. 
Your breath catches in your throat, whimpered pleas clogging your airway when his fingers drift to the waistband of his pants. Scars, so many scars line the expanse of his torso. His body is a map of puckered lines and flat, pale marks, a lifetime of brutality carved into his skin. Dark whorls of hair dust his chest and stomach, a pattern that continues lower as he tugs his trousers off, muscles flexing as he twists. In another lifetime, under an entirely different set of circumstances, you might’ve salivated at the sight of a man like this, might’ve reached out to splay a hand against his barrel chest, reveled in how miniscule you were in comparison. In another lifetime, there wouldn’t be that ever pressing guilt, that shame that colours your vision and tightens around your neck – you might’ve admitted to wanting it.
In another lifetime, you might’ve even begged for it.
Your mind eddies at the sight of him, blood rushing so startlingly through your veins you have to slump back into the sheets, dizzy and daunted. You’re stunned into silence, throat too dry to string together any sounds beyond a strangled whimper.
He’s thick, head an angry, dark colour that you can’t make out in the low light, weeping. As if caught in a dream, you watch a bead of pre-cum slip down his length, the light gleaming over the trail it leaves on his skin. When you raise your eyes, fearful, he’s already watching you, eyes sharp.
The bright green of his irises shocks you back into your body, and you begin to shake your head anew, struggling to push yourself away, back hitting the headboard. 
“No, Jason, no.” You begin to weep, hands coming to pound weakly at his chest when he hovers over you once more and he dips his head, nosing along your cheek. Your tears do little to stop him. If anything, it only spurs him on, pupils dilated at the sight of you like this and breathing growing ragged. A rough hand skims along your ankle and pulls, until you’re flat on your back beneath him. “It’s wrong.”
“Don’t cry,” he rumbles, plaintive, lips brushing against yours clumsily, an attempt at comfort. He settles between your legs, one slung over his hip and you mewl when he tilts forward, the weight of his length sliding against your traitorously wet folds. You draw blood trying to stifle a whimper when his head nudges against your clit, a dizzying spiral of unwanted pleasure curling down your spine. His lips curve into a pout against yours, a hair’s breadth between them as he presses his forehead to yours.
“I’ll be good,” he promises quietly, voice pitching into a plea as he ruts against you. You squeeze your eyes tightly, trying to turn your head but a hand comes up to cup your jaw, keeping you face to face with him. “I’ll be good. I’ll–‘ll take care of you. Make you feel good.”
Clumsy, painful, intrusive. You’re wet, but it’s not enough – Jason breaches your entrance and your gasp teeters on a scream, fingernails digging into the meat of his forearm as you struggle to accommodate for his size, not nearly prepared enough for the stretch. His voice joins yours, a different kind of pain in his groans as he pushes slowly in. You curse him, drawing blood where your nails sink into his skin and gasping for breath. 
It’s sweltering in the room, despite the chill of winter, Jason’s body a canopy over yours. Every inch of him that presses against you is searing, burning to the touch and threatening to flay you alive. You sob when he finally bottoms out, his teeth gritted and forehead scrunched, the last strands of his control steadily fraying. 
Big fingers swipe at your under eyes, smearing your tears instead of wiping them, and then he begins to move. The first thrust winds you, pushing all the air out of your lungs and eliciting a choked sound out of your throat, one he echoes, dropping his head into the hollow of your neck and thrusting again. 
Shame and guilt war within you, fear pebbling your skin as his hips cant forwards, setting a sloppy pace meant only to seek a quick release. Every second that ticks past, he draws closer and closer to the edge and shamefully – so do you. There’s a burning in your gut, the sound of your wetness loud in the room over his desperate groans, your cunt squeezing around his thick length. It’s a horrifying truth, one you don’t want to accept – it feels good. The drag of his cock against you, the slippery movements of his fingers, the overwhelming weight of his body against yours. It lights every nerve in your body alight, repulsion and longing amassing as one, a torturous cover that threads through your veins against your will.
Your sobs subside as it comes to you, pleasure pooling slowly in your gut like a leaky faucet, a puddle growing until your cries turn into whimpers, gasped breaths when he manages to find that one spot that empties your head of all thought. 
No, no, no turns into muffled whines, your tears carving their own scarred paths down your face. Each thrust, every slide of his length and whisper of his fingers carves a bit of your resistance away, until all that’s left between your desire and his is the ruins of your sensibilities. The last of your defences gone, your nerves feel like spun sugar, dizzying, electrifying – wanting, needing more. 
He’s highly attuned to your reactions, and you watch through blurry eyes as his gleam when he makes this realisation, thrusting forward unforgivably and pulling more screams from you. Your head tips back into the pillow, ultraviolet green burned into the back of your eyelids. 
“Be good for – for you,” he gasps out, a low whine building in his throat and you weep, arms reaching up to wind around his shoulders. It’s a twisted thing, that the one inflicting this on you should bring you comfort, but you cling to him still. He tucks himself closer to you, eager to provide this cover, allowing you to hide your face in his neck – hide from yourself, as he fucks you. His hands wander, brushing, coaxing, petting your body. No longer are you the caretaker, but now the doll, almost. A pretty thing for him to cradle, to have, to do with as he pleases. And he does, driving into you hungrily, as though he’s been starved of it, unable to hold himself back any longer. He sates his appetite on you tonight, teeth, tongue, cock. All of you, his for the taking. Under his hand you are taken apart and remade, molded by rough hands and lovingly pieced together until you’re born anew, settling into your role like drifting into dreams.
Your orgasm washes over you, abrupt and unrelenting, so far gone a scream tears from your throat to bleed into his, your teeth sinking into the junction of his neck and shoulder as your leg kicks out and you fall apart on his length. Sloppy thrusts pick up the pace and he presses you further down into the sheets, grasp on your hips and waist bruising. It’s animal, the way he bucks into you, mouth open in a snarl to bare sharp canines, tongue laving against your pulse. 
Too much – it’s too much. You’re still riding out the high of your orgasm, but he continues to fuck into you, head bumping against one particular spot that has your toes curling painfully, body twisting in his grasp and trying to pull away. A vain effort. Even your squealed protests fall on deaf ears, dizzying pleasure bubbling up once more in your gut, overwhelming and feverish.
Your eyes squeeze shut tight as you come again, colour exploding in your vision in vivid hues of red and orange, mouth dropping open to swallow lungfuls of air. Jason, in your ear, lets out a guttural moan that lances straight through his chest to spear yours. Warmth trickles down your body, spend and slick smeared where the two of you are connected. 
You swim in and out of focus, eyelids heavy and attention spotty. Like an old radio, or as if underwater, his voice breaches your consciousness in snippets. Soft cooing and fingers stroking along your spine, you’re vaguely aware of being shifted, hefted onto a warm chest as easily as lifting a feather. Downy hairs tickle your cheek, the smell of musk and cedarwood burning beneath your nose.
Mine...so good...take care of...
There’s an ache between your hips, a fullness that has yet to retract – but when you blink drowsily up at your captor, you begin to realise in the last dregs of your consciousness: in this, and all that follows after, he has no intention of parting from you.
Cobalt blue now, half lidded eyes regard you with reverence, kiss bitten lips cooing unintelligibly, praises you barely register. Jason cranes his head to press his mouth against your temple – a mockery of your rituals to you, perhaps an homage, in his twisted mind. 
.
.
.
The mark on his neck smarts, the beast in his chest purring in satisfaction. He looks down at you, the drying tears on your face, lashes fluttering in your sleep. He strokes a finger over the crease between your brows, dragging down to where your lips part ever so slightly. He barely manages to hold back a satisfied rumble when, at the touch of his finger, you accept him in. Precious, sweet girl. Even in sleep, you know him. He shifts on his back, careful not to jostle you too much, and once more the bite stings. In the morning, you’ll insist on tending to it, he knows. Your eyes will pool, diamantine, lips trembling tearfully at the wound you’ve left on him. You’ve claimed him as he would you, in time, but he knows it’ll take a little longer for you to see it as he does, that in the morning you’ll begin to piece back the ruins of your defences and he’ll have to work again to keep them down. 
That’s okay. He’s got all the time in the world. You’ll see, soon. Out here, with only each other for company, you’ll quickly learn. He’ll take care of you.
You’ll want for nothing.
fin.
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um. there's a lot i wanted to include in this fic, mostly that there's something off about jason's death and his being alive - i didn't really get to explore that beyond the eyes so if you caught that i hope u know i meant for it to convey that he's a Freak.
Brahms in The Boy is entirely human but i think there's an air of supernaturalism to jason in this (and even arguably in the original source material) with how such a large man manages to move through the walls quietly and quickly, he feels a bit wraith like to me. also again with the eyes - there's something wrong with him but there's literally like 294728 other things to worry about that you don't notice until it's staring at you in the face and by then it's too late.
anyway this came to me during finals and it was driving me SO damn insane during finals, i think i've been working on this for about a month? i'm not sure - the writing program i've been using lately doesn't have a date of creation so i don't really know but finals were in early june so maybe just shy of two months? i would say a month and a half.
this is the first time i've properly dipped my toe into content of a darker nature like this and i hope i did it justice! idk i wanted to try my hand at something new, i think there's a lot that's interesting about the psychological aspect of fics like this, like the buildup and feelings leading up to and during the climax. anyway this was a bit of an experiment and i hope you enjoyed it.
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norman-fucking-reedus · 7 months ago
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I read something that you said Scud liked to be recorded and I’m actually foaming at the mouth at the idea of that because it’s so real. I NEED a fic for that. So glad I found someone with a Scud obsession as bad as mine
LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION
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THE GOOD GOOD: FemDom!Reader x Sub!Scud, recording during sex, lots of teasing, and edging, bit of bondage, your much needed dose of pegging, and scud crying during sex, don't forget the hair pulling
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GUYS I LOVE SCUD SO MUCH I ABSOLUTELY ADORE HIM MY PRECIOUS LITTLE ANGEL
I'm really trying to get my drafts cleared out LOL hopefully sometime soon I'll have a big major posting spree and then I can start working on my inbox
I HAVE SO MANY REQUESTS AUUUGH IDK WHY I LET THEM ALL PILE UP SOMEONE KILL ME
The idea of Scud being recorded is still my favorite because I feel like he'd be so nervous under the lens, trying to hide from it and not be seen but he'd still end up looking like a slutty pornstar (my precious pornstar)
also scud in lace. its been on my mind for I don't even know how long at this point.
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You sighed as you walked down your complex's dingy, dimly lit hallway, silently hoping that Scud wouldn't be too mad at you for coming home so late into the night. After all, you had told him that you would only be about ten more minutes, but that had been almost an hour ago.
Things got a little out of hand, nothing you couldn't deal with sure but it was quite an inconvenience. A short, fifteen-minute task had easily turned into a full job, one that included running around the shop looking for spare parts. With what you had learned from Blade and Scud, it didn't take long to find all the little pieces you needed, and even a reward for yourself.
"Scud! I'm back! Look at what was in the shop" You called out to him when you jingled your keys in the lock and swung the front door to your apartment open, eagerly kicking off your shoes as you toyed with the little camcorder you had come across, flipping through the random pictures on it. There was no clear indicator of who's camera exactly, but you had always loved photography, so just one day with it wouldn't hurt anyone.
There was no response to your voice, the apartment barely lit and quiet, soft thumping coming from you and Scud's shared bedroom. He was probably playing on his PS2 with his headphones in, loud music blasting at levels you’ve already scolded him for.
As you padded through the cozy living room, you pointed your camera at random things and took little cameos of them, making your way down the short and narrow hall towards the room where you could see some of the orange lighting spilling out through a crack in the door.
You approached, about to call out Scud’s name once again as the soft thumping faded into a rhythmic beat, a Lady Gaga track when you finally stopped short in front of the door, pushing it open a bit and poking your head through, combing hair out your eyes as your mind drew a blank, greedily taking in the sight in front of you.
Scud was in fact not playing on his game system, but rather prancing around the cozy room what he didn’t know was your very expensive lingerie set. An all-white, delicate full ‘angelic’ lingerie set. A satin ruffle top with a waist-high lace garter belt that clipped onto the white mesh fishnets, all paired with lacy underwear that had a large bow on the back, topped with a fair-sized opening that revealed a large portion of his dumb butt.
You had originally bought it to surprise your boyfriend a few months back, but you had both gotten so overcrowded with work that it slipped your mind, collecting a thin layer of dust somewhere you weren’t even sure where you had put it. Scud always got curious about your things when he was rocket-high, digging through things and asking a million and one questions. Now here he was, looking pretty as ever swaying his hips around in the bedroom, mumbling along to the current track playing.
You found yourself flipping the camcorder's small screen open and resting against the door frame as the device started to record, capturing Scud’s fluid movements as he obliviously danced around, brown curls falling sweetly in his face, and skin glowing orange from the multiple sources of warm light in the room.
He really did look like an angel, his broad body looking much more supple and soft, legs long and lean, hips wide and divine. A walking, talking piece of pure eye candy, reserved for your eyes and only your eyes. Guess this camera just found itself a new owner.
Scud spun around on his heels and toes, once, twice, before he stopped, eyes focusing on the small little red dot, flickering up to meet your gaze and feeling his entire exposed body heat up in embarrassment.
“W– Wha– How– How long– Hello– ” Scud sputtered, completely frozen in place as he stared at you.
You, who was now fully entering the bedroom, “Don’t stop now, I barely got any footage” placing your free hand on his small waist and dipping fingers under the fabric of the garter. A smile tugged your lips as you started taking in the entirety of your boyfriend's body up close, his skin soft and hot under the tips of your fingers. “Y– You’re re-recording me?” He knew the answer, but hearing it from you verbally just made a chill run down his spine, and his cock twitch.
“Does that make you nervous love?” Your fingers trailed up his scarred chest, brushing across the lose ruffled top and grazing his nipples, a small whine coming from Scud as he dipped down in order to hide his face, but you wouldn’t let him. “Look at me” You said as you lifted his head up by the chin, forcing his gaze onto yours.
Scud lightly whimpered, desire burning in his gut as you brushed hair out his face, fingers dancing along his skin. He felt exposed under the camera’s lens, so much of his raw and bare skin visible to the naked eye. Your gaze on his body made his cock throb.
“What do I always tell you about playing in my stuff?” You said in a condescending tone, teasing the tips of your fingers down his textured belly.
Scud shivered at your touch as goosebumps prickled his skin, a strained grunt coming from him as his face flushed. “N– not without mommy’s permission”
You slowly walk around him, taking in his full body in the set. “Don’t touch mommy’s things without permission. That’s a rule, right?” You murmur as you stop recording to take a picture of Scud’s ass, definitely filling out the panties better than you could.
“Yes…” He mumbles, and it almost comes out like a squeak. His cock aching with need and his stomach with embarrassment, heart pounding from a combination of nerves and weed.
You brush your lips against the skin of his shoulder, slipping fingers under the waistline of the lace undies. “So can you explain to me why said rule is broken?”
A whimper broke past Scud's lips as your fingers teased and explored his exposed skin, squeezing his hips and tracing scars. "I just– I just found it under the bed and didn't know what it was" Scud stumbled out, heart thumping in his chest as your hands covered more ground on his body, circling around to his back.
"Mhm?" You hummed, tracing your finger up his spine. He let out a moan as chills ran through his core, trembling under your touch as he could feel goosebumps explode across his skin. "Well, do you know what it is now?"
Scud nodded frantically at your words, "Yes! Yes– I know now" quivering as he spoke.
With one hand on his waist, the other still holding the camera, you guided him to the edge of the bed and pushed his upper half down onto the mattress, smiling softly to yourself as you eyed Scud's new position through the lens.
Click! Click!
The electric snap of the camera made Scud feel fuzzy and warm, slightly embarrassed, and very exposed. His skin was flushed a light red, some areas more blushed than the others. From where his cock was confined in the small panties, he was completely pulsing, throbbing with pure need in his gut.
"Do you also know not to break the rules?" You questioned, flipping through the few shots you had taken before moving your attention to the small walk-in closet, crouching down and reaching inside a box.
Scud whined into the soft comforter when you returned behind him, his socked feet barely reaching the rug between them. He could hear the small beep of the camera as you pressed your front to his bottom, a yelp coming from him when your palm made contact with his exposed cheek. "I asked, so answer"
"Y– Yes! Not breaking the rules is a rule" He whimpered, a shudder running through him as his skin tingled.
You smiled at his words as you caressed his side, squeezing his waist and hip slightly. "Good. Very good. So don't you think you deserve a punishment?"
Scud didn't respond, but he nodded his head, hiding his face the best he could behind his hair. You pushed the strands back and cooed at his cherry-red face, tiny whines coming from him as he squirmed under the camera's lens, jerking his hips slightly as he rutted against the edge of the bed.
Your hand made contact with his cheek again, a choked-off groan coming from his throat at your palm. "Words."
"Y– yes ma– ma'am..." He stuttered, trembling slightly with anticipation. It wasn't often that Scud got punished, even with as bratty as he was, so his cock was totally aching just thinking about whatever vile shit it was you were thinking about doing to him.
And you were thinking of doing some quite horrid things.
Teasingly, you ran your hand over the opening in his panties, prodding your finger at his puffy rim. A suppressed shudder traveled through him as his cock twitched, his hole fluttering at your air-light touch. You softly cooed at how needy he was, smiling to yourself as you single-handedly took off your shirt and tossed it on the floor somewhere to be picked up later.
From the box in your closet, you had pulled your strap set, a pair of cuffs, and a long vibrator that you had been wanting to test out for a little while.
Cuffing Scud's hands behind his back with only five fingers was a bit of a challenge, but an easy one. He squirmed a little as you did it, wiggling his fingers as his wrists adjusted to the new sensation of the cuffs.
You shuffled around behind him, cursing softly as you knocked a few things over before tossing a bottle of lube along with the rest of your toys, pressing yourself against Scud as you leaned down near his ear, breath feather-light and hair tickling his skin. His heart pounded in his chest, and you could hear his pulse in his neck thumping.
“Just how should I punish you?” You murmur, trailing your lips against his ear lobe and teasing the skin with the very tip of your tongue.
“Maybe I should spank you ‘til it hurts to sit,” You run your free hand down to his ass and give it a slap for emphasis, followed by a squeeze just cause.
“Or maybe I could tie up those cute balls and see just how long it takes for you to pop” You hum, nibbling on Scud’s ear and tugging it with your teeth until you dropped it with an idea lingering in mind.
“Or," You said as you pulled away from him. "I could just leave you here by yourself” You smirked, watching Scud’s face twist in horror.
“No! No– please no” He pleaded as he squirmed on the bed, hips jerking in a desperate search for relief, cock painfully hard and throbbing. “Need a punishment, need mommy to punish me” Scud blabbed, his body trembling as his eyes darted from your face to the camera's lens, his body coated in a thin sheen of sweat.
“But how should I punish you?” You teasingly coo, combing some of a Scud’s bangs out one of his eyes as you smiled softly at him. “I could smoke our whole stash right in your face”
Scud groaned, “Please don’t” squeezing his legs as arousal burned hot in his gut. “I’m really sorry mommy, I– I’ll do anything”
“Oh, I know you will. Just stay still for me ‘kay?” You pushed yourself back up to your full height, pausing your recording to swap out the camera for the bottle of lube, shaking it slightly before uncapping it and squeezing out more than enough of the clear liquid onto Scud's puffy rim, watching the shiver that ran through him as the cold sensation rolled down to his sensitive balls.
You scooped it up with your two fingers and easily slid them inside Scud, a soft moan coming from him as he clenched around you, almost instantly pushing back in search of more. "Such a greedy little hole, you just wanna be fucked so badly don't you?"
Scud whined and squeezed his slick walls around your digits, "Yes! Want mommy to fill me up so bad, need her so bad" rubbing his face against the soft comforter as he could feel it burning hot.
"Don't worry baby boy, we're gonna get you all nice 'nd full right now" You spoke sweetly to him as you picked up the camera with one hand and the vibrator with the other, resuming your recording as the toy harshly rumbled to life after the click of a button. Without wasting a second, you watched as the buzzing wand glided into Scud with zero resistance, pressing it directly against his sweet spot and causing him to loudly sputter, blabble, and cry out nonsense as the sudden vibration traveled through his entire nervous system, cock throbbing with the uncontrollable urge to cum.
Scud sobbed around his loud moans, choking out gasps when you started to quickly thrust the toy in and out, each hard bump to his now very sensitive prostrate only sent him closer to the edge, hands twitching and pulling where they were restrained as his body spasmed, heaving as his heart started to pound in his chest the harder and harder you fucked him, hips jerking down into the mattress as he tried to pathetically chase his rapidly building orgasm, a burning pleasure coursing through the entirety of his body before–
You swiftly pulled the toy out of him right as he was about to topple over the edge, a confused, strangled whimper tearing from his throat as his poor hole needily clenched around nothing, so full and pleased just a split second ago and now suddenly empty and crashing down from the way you abruptly ruined his orgasm.
“Sorry, my hand slipped” You mumbled, obviously not sorry at all as you teased his fluttering hole with the toy, capturing all your torturous movements through the little camera lens.
The cuffs rattled as Scud whined and squirmed at the contact against his sensitive skin, trying his hardest to push back onto the vibrator while also jerking his hips away from it. He was so high, so hot and sweaty as he heaved from where he was on the bed, shaking as you tauntingly dragged the toy up from his slick balls to his drenched rim, only ever applying the slightest amount of pressure.
It made him push his hips back in desperation, letting out a surprised yelp when you smacked him with the toy, tutting your lips as you shook your head, placing the camera down and positioning it to capture Scud's hidden face, forcing his head up by roughly yanking a fistful of hair.
He whined as a shiver ran down his spine, trembling as his eyes nervously darted away from the lens, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment at being recorded in such an exposed state. His cock was still painfully aching, whole body throbbing uncontrollably from your early treatment.
Scud made tiny little whimpers when you started to tease his hole again with the toy, his hips twitching as he tried not to jerk them back, desperate and craving to be filled up again. His gut ached with arousal, cock leaking painfully where it was confined in the small panties.
"P– Please fuck me, please mommy" He begged as you dipped your head down and started nibbling at his bare shoulder, teasing the skin of his hip with your fingers.
You blew on his ear as you ran the length of the vibrator up his slick crack, a keen noise pulling out his throat as his hole fluttered in anticipation. "Is this what you want pretty boy? To be stuffed like a dumb slut?"
Scud whined at your words, nodding his head and hiding his face shyly behind his hair, jumping slightly when you tightly gripped his jaw, lifting his head once more and dropping it to pick up your camera.
"You're so cute when you're nervous" You said to him as you smooshed your cheek against his, pointing the lens at the both of you and snapping a few pictures, Scud's face red and embarrassed as the flash flickered, electric shutter ringing in his ears.
Scud huffed slightly as his socked toes brushed the rug beneath him, kicking his feet impatiently as need and heat burned through his veins. He whined softly when you pulled away from him entirely, leaving the camcorder pointed at him to capture his facial expressions when you suddenly shoved the entirety of the vibrator back into him, a loud and shaky moan tearing from Scud's throat as the toy easily slid into him, almost yelling when it buzzed to life against his sensitive walls.
His hands curled into one another where his arms were stretched behind his back, yet immediately scrambled to wrap around your wrist when you trailed fingers up his spine, his fingers twitching and trembling as they latched onto you, incoherent mumbles leaving Scud's lips.
As you started to properly fuck him with the toy, quickly thrusting it in and out as he tensed up at the sensation, shuddering as his jaw went slack and he started to desperately yet sloppy push back against your movements, toes curling into the carpet as you shoved the vibrator right into his sweet spot, stars dancing in his eyes and coursing through his body.
"I bet that feels so good huh pretty boy? Gonna cum aren't you?" You taunted as you fucked him quicker with the silicone toy, watching the way he had started to twitch and squirm, his whimpers and cries starting to increase in volume. Scud tried to respond to your questions, but his words only came out as a garbled mess.
It earned a small laugh from you, pressing yourself up against him and dipping your head down to attack his neck, running your tongue over his pulse, and feeling his heart race under the muscle. "Didn't quite catch that" You murmured into his ear, slowing down your movements as you searched for Scud's sweet spot, a broken sob tearing from his lips when you found it. "Yes," He gasped, trembling underneath you as he heaved for air, clumsily stuttering out his words. "Wanna cum so bad, want mommy to make me cum"
Scud tugged and pulled at his restraints as he choked back cries, clumsily pushing back against your movements desperately as he chased after his rapidly building orgasm, babbling brainlessly. He could feel the buzzing sensation in his toes, all the way up to his teeth, it made his head foggy and his jaw go slack, not sure if the high he was greedily riding was from the weed or sheer pleasure, but it had him on cloud nine either way.
Each thrust brought him closer and closer, so close he could practically taste it. A needy, broken whimper came from his chest as his body twitched against you, small pleas starting to fall from his lips as his untouched cock throbbed from his burning climax, lungs running out of air as his body started to tense up, standing right on the edge and about to fall down face first when you yanked the toy right out of him again, Scud whining and basically sobbing in protest as his hole uncontrollably clenched down around nothing, heavy groans leaving him as his body struggled to recover from the way you completely denied him again.
"Oh Please, please mommy, please" Scud sobbed as his body felt so empty and used, desperately craving the relief that he needed so badly.
You shut the toy off and tossed it down on the bed, taking hold of the camcorder and stopping your recording, snapping a few pictures of how utterly destroyed Scud was, face soaked with his tears and drool as he weakly rutted his hips in search of any type of pleasure. He whimpered softly at the flash of light, feeling exposed and nude under the lens.
"It's okay Scud, you've been doing so well for me. Momma's gonna make you feel so good" You murmured comfortingly into his ears as you pressed a kiss to his cheek, pushing your body up off his and leaving the camera on the bed. Scud still whined out in protest as your body heat left his, leaving him cold and lonely. His heart started to soar and quickly pick up speed when he heard the familiar sound of your strap buckling together, small mutters and curses coming from you as there was a slight struggle.
It wasn't long before you reappeared behind Scud, this time pressing your cock against him. Anticipation sparked to life in his tummy as you dragged the silicone through his slick, unable to help himself from pushing back against you with tiny little sounds. He needed it so bad that his body was practically begging for release, involuntarily twitching.
Scud was so close to an absolute breakdown, whimpering and mumbling incoherently as you finally started to push in at a tauntingly slow pace, the lube helping to make it an easy glide and blissful stretch. His head dropped down onto the mattress as sparks flew up his spine, so understimulated that even the slightest of touch would probably send him tipping over the edge.
You readjusted your camcorder with one hand and the tightly tangled the other in his hair, yanking his head back up to be captured in the lens, giggling at the groan that left Scud’s lips. “Come on pretty boy, keep your head up for momma”
“Need– Need it–“ Scud started to babble, head totally clouded and overworked as he desperately jerked his hips, rocking them back and forth to get any type of stimulation at all, trembling like a leaf on a branch when he felt the tip of your strap finally, finally jab right into his tender and used sweet spot, knees buckling between him as he involuntarily squeezed your wrist tightly, nails digging into the flesh as the orgasm his body had been begging for completely took over, loud and broken sobs leaving Scud’s lips as his untouched cock throbbed and pulsated, cumming right in the lace panties of the lingerie set.
The fact that you captured that on camera almost made your mouth water, and you cooed at Scud when he went ragdoll in your hold, stroking his side to give him some comfort as he slowly came back down to earth. “Oh, you poor little thing. Did I tease too much?”
Scud could barely even muster out words, breathing into the mattress as his body twitched, small grunts and whimpers coming from him your hand in his hair kept his head upright and his face vulnerable, tears streaming down his reddened cheeks.
“Or, did I not tease you enough?” You murmured the question softly in his ear, moving to grab a fist full of hair from the front and gripping his cuffed wrists, yanking both backward as you took a step forward to shove the entirety of your cock into Scud, who could almost taste the pleasure coursing through him. A choked sob tore itself from his throat, eyes darting frantically between the wall and camera lens as it felt like pure heaven burned it’s way up his spine, hands twitching and curling in on themselves under your grip.
It was arguably the best he’s ever felt in days, weeks even. When you started to relentlessly and mercilessly slam into him, each thrust going right to his core and sending his eyes rolling into the back of his head, lips glossy and slick with spit as he drooled from the mouthwatering pleasure.
“You’re just so, so cute Scud. I can’t wait to watch our little movie over and over and over again” You said as you tilted his head to the side by his hair, biting down harshly on the flesh of his already bruised and marked neck, a shriek pulling its way out his chest as all five of his senses were at a complete overload, skin flushing a deep red when he felt your teeth blissfully break skin. It was all so overwhelming, the wet glide of your cock slipping in and out against his tender velvety walls was simply too much for his mind to be able to comprehend, hips jerking as his second orgasm built up rapidly, like a can of soda that had been shaken up and was just waiting for someone to pop the tap.
He heard the sound of the cuffs clicking off before he felt the fuzzy material sliding off his wrists, your hands finding his and intertwining your fingers together, pinning his hands down on the mattress to fuck him with all the womanly strength left in you, sending the silicone as deep and hard into your angelic boyfriend as your body would possibly allow for. Scud’s head involuntarily dropped right down onto the blankets, whimpers and broken moans tumbling past his lips as he tightly squeezed your fingers, so close to the edge that this time he really could taste it.
“Please momma, please, please– fuuck, please” Scud helplessly babbled, needily pushing back to meet your thrusts as he was so fucking close, so close that he’d almost do anything just to cum, not that there was much to do considering he was already crashing down the hill, just needing a few more rough thrusts of your hips before his tap was finally popped, an explosion of fizzy stickiness exploding right in his gut, his second orgasm spilling right into the already soiled underwear, seeping through and dripping down onto the floor.
Scud went totally limp where he laid face down on the bed, breathing heavily as he twitched and tried to come down from such an earth shattering high, whining softly when you pulled out.
Tiny kisses were planted all over his face, neck, and shoulders, you gently brushing his hair out his face and unsticking it from his sweaty forehead. “You okay?”
Scud nodded, with his eyes half-lidded and a content smile tugging at his lips. “Mhmm”
“Did you learn your lesson?” You asked, pulling the bra strap and letting it snap against Scud’s flesh, a small grunt leaving him as his skin burned. “Yes ma’am…” He grumbled out, feet dangling off the bed.
You smiled softly, kissing him right below his eye. “Good baby. Now let’s get you all squeaky clean and cozy for bed, then we can find a way to put our special show on the TV for only our eyes to see” You said with a hint of mischief in your tone, reaching for the camcorder and stopping your recording once and for all.
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Whoa. Did Norman fucking reedus just fucking finish something. Did Normam fucking reedus just post something. Whoa. How crazy even is that.
ANYWAYS 😝 yes guys I still love Scud he's still my angel boy and be always will be I love the part of the fic where my peenar goes inside his body thats the best part hands down I love to fuck men with my lady peenar
One fic at a time guys 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ I have a few others that eeerm should get posted soon… dont get your hopes up (because mine are already up and that's a problem)
IF YOU SEE TYPOS NO UOU DONNNT 😭 MY GRAMMARLY IS ON MY COMPUTER AND THE APP IS GARBAGE ON MY PHONE PLEASE STOP THIS MADNESS
I was gonna end this with the cam corder MaGiCaLlYy disappearing 👁️ but that's for another fic 🙂‍↕️ (that ill end up never writing)
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