#‘so the difference between the female gaze and the male gaze is [blatant gender stereotyping] & this is groundbreaking feminist analysis’
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rollercoasterwords · 7 months ago
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“male gaze vs female gaze” top 10 most annoying pop feminism buzzwords that have entered the cultural zeitgeist in recent years. shut UPPPPPP
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dimensionwitch · 1 month ago
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JJK - Female Chars
Hi I’m Rita. I’m brazilian of japanese descent. I’m a fujoshi and I've been reading manga since the early 2000s. I especially love shonen manga but I read a lot of genres.
Personagens Femininas em Jujutsu Kaisen - uma análise em contexto.
Jujutsu Kaisen Female Characters - A Contextualized Essay
This is a response and an essay about female characters in Jujutsu Kaisen. I watched some videos and read some threads about it and I think many people are missing the point. So I’m adding my opinion. A criminal act, I know.
First of all, we know from interviews that Gege Akutami went to an all-boys school as a teen but, after that, we don't know, and have no confirmation anywhere, that Gege identifies as male. Gege uses both “watashi” and “boku” to refer to himself, and can be a bit ambiguous in japanese. I'll be using he/him for simplicity, but we do not know for a fact. An argument can be made that “he” used to play with his wiener among his friends, but that’s not gender. I don’t think Akutami’s gender is important for this essay, but I also thought it was important to get that out of the way. Although he is probably a man.
Now, the main issues I’m seeing here and there are:
> People created weird expectations about the female characters and were let down;
> The women have “support skills”.
> The women fades away at some point and are not part of the narrative anymore.
JJk is regarded by some as “The Manga For Female Representation”it is not. And it never was. I don’t know who gave anyone that idea. JJK female characters are good. They are well written. But they are not perfect.
But! I can say more: They’re as good as the male characters in this story.
But let’s start at the beginning, what does a “good female character” even mean?
While that may be different for everyone, for me it means the women have drives, stories and personalities that are independent from the male characters. And even better if they pass the Bechdel-Wallace Test, and the Mako Mori Test¹, but those are optional. Those are the BASELINE.
There is an infinitude of manga with good female characters, In Shoujo and in Josei we frequently have deep and connecting stories of female narratives. But we crave and seek them in Shonen and Seinen manga as well, manga that are not intended for female audiences. 
BUT! Many women, like me, enjoy reading shonen with their crazy magic systems and power levels. And the stereotypical female character hurts us. The misogyny is too blatant. Too many boobs and too many panties. The beach episode, or the bath scene, with pervert males and boob-grabs. The male gaze. The characters that are insecure for having small boobs. The characters that fall in love with the male lead because he touched her once. The hypersexualized outfits... the list goes on and on. We’re tired of that and many women I know dread shonen, for this specific reason.
And this IS a merit of Jujutsu. The female characters dress normally and are treated like, well, like any other character. They are not overly sexualized. Even the sexy characters are fully dressed, like MeiMei. That was shown naked on a cover art, but we didn’t actually see anything.
There’s this argument about Uro, because she’s a naked lady in the sky dressed up with the sky. However, there’s a difference between a naked body and a sexualized one.. Sure, if you think that’s sexualization that’s a completely valid point. But we never see a JJK girl slipping on a banana peel just to flash her panties. The only “sexual harassment” ever presented is Aoi Todo asking everyone he meets what’s their type of girl, the questions he learned from Yuki, his master. Todo is also the guy Akutami chose to draw when asked to make a sexy pinup. Todo is also obsessed with a girl idol, a trait that I know everyone would look down upon if he was a girl with a favorite male idol.
The only time I, personally, felt the woman was naked for no reason at all, was that cover art of chapter 218 with naked Yorozu. And the times she ran naked towards Sukuna in her flashbacks. One character. Out of 116.
The “beach episode”, in jujutsu, would be the Okinawa part of the Hidden Inventory Arc, where the point was for Riko-chan to feel alive one last time, and there was not even one smidge of sexyness in that scene. Her swimsuit was demure and she was wearing a cute beach-coat.
So here we are now. The first point. The expectations.
I was there and I remember Bleach in 2001. Kuchiki Rukia was among the first female characters that made me think “wow! this one is NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS! SHE’S NOT LIKE THE OTHERS!”. She had a personality, didn’t know how ro draw, slept in the closet, was short and upfront, confident, she was professional, she was strong and she had a life! But it was a weak effort. Bleach fell flat. The entirety of the Soul Society Arc was centered on saving Rukia and in the end she never actually did anything. The other female characters were basically petite or big boobed mamas that never actually helped the narrative move.
Naruto was a disaster. We all know them. The best written (female) character is Tsunade, but she was written to be “The same personality as the first Hokage. Her backstory is because of her brother and she only made decisions because of Jiraiya and Naruto. And also she does whatever she can to stay pretty and young.”. Sakura never does anything, she heals Kankuro at the beginning of Shippuden, and then punches down a dying dinosaur at the spin off Naruto: Sasuke's Story—The Uchiha and the Heavenly Stardust: The Manga. Ino just came and went to be the pairing of Sai. Hinata became a housewife... AND DON’T let me even start complaining about TenTen. She didn’t even get a last name.
One piece has good female characters, yes. Their personalities and story lines and strengths are awesome. But it IS a bit jarring how so many of them are drawn sexy. (please watch MelonTeee videos about one piece characters)
And those were the Big 3 shonen manga of the early 2000 - When I was a teenager.
And when Gege Akutami and the other current shonen authors were teenagers.
You can see it clear as day that the big 3 influenced Jujutsu. Be it in the art, or in the way the characters dress. I can see it in the way the characters fight.
And I can see the progress of the last 20 years.
Remember Shaman King? The female characters barely spoke. Tamao “took Anna’s personality” in flowers; Eliza Faust never spoke, not even when she was alive. Ana’s motivations revolved around Yoh. 
Remember YuYu Hakusho? Tell me what Botan, Keiko and Yukina did in the original story. Only Genkai was really a character. Mukuro was more interesting when we didn’t know she was a girl. Think about the Bechdel-Wallace test again. Fun female characters, but none of them mattered. 
The female characters of Jujutsu have motifs and stories and drives that are not related to male characters. Maki wants to be the head of her clan to save Mai. Mai wants to survive. Nobara wants a boyfriend, but she also wants to be herself while doing her duty, she wants to be authentic with herself. Miwa wants money. Uro wants to win the culling game. Many of those “could” be male characters. But some can’t. If you change the gender, you change the story, so they are important female characters, not only characters. Put a pin on this, I’ll get to this again later.
The backstory we see when Mahito attacked Nobara is solely hers. It’s about not wanting to be mistreated for who she is. It’s about going to Tokyo to find a better environment to be herself. And she goes and finds it.
Actually, Nobara’s plot is about trying her best to be feminine and to be herself and to be considered strong in a very patriarchal society. Not only the jujutsu's one, but also Japanese society.
The female characters in Jujutsu ARE well written. Point blank. But please read the rest to see how people could be let down by it.
The second point, all the female characters have support skills.
This is not true, but also not-not true.
Is Nobara’s a support skill? 
So, the technique Nobara uses is called “Straw Doll Technique” and it’s based on Ushi no Toki Mairi (丑の時参り). Wikipedia says:
“[It] refers to a prescribed method of laying a curse upon a target that is traditional to Japan, so-called because it is conducted during the hours of the Ox (between 1 and 3 AM). The practitioner—typically a scorned woman—while dressed in white and crowning herself with an iron ring-set with three lit candles upright, hammers nails into a sacred tree (神木, shinboku) of the Shinto shrine. In the modern-day common conception, the nails are driven through a straw effigy of the victim, impaled upon the tree behind it.”
So it’s not a support technique, but it is one related to women. I flashed this one out because people think it’s voodoo when it is NOT. Please research Vodun and its history. Nobara’s technique is a traditional japanese witchcraft.
I can list every character and go one by one, but let’s not do that. Many do have support skills (like Shouko, who is a healer, and Utahime, who is a buffer). But many don’t (like Yuki who has the power of the concept of mass, and Hanyu, who has airplane hair). About their stories, Momo’s whole life was supporting Mai, and (I know she’s a side character, but) Saori doesn't even HAVE male character around her at any given time. Hanami is a flower and a curse of nature itself.
I will not be disingenuous here. The thing is, they are mostly for support. Yes. Mai creates a sword for Maki. MeiMei uses a huge ax, but her ability is surveillance because she controls crows. Angel can extinguish techniques, but “she’s weak” so she “only helps the male characters”.
The worst part, for me, is how many of them only exist in favor of male counterparts. Angel’s back story is about Megumi. Rika-chan died for Yuta (in Jujutsu Kaisen 0). We never actually met Tsumiki, but Yorozu was obsessed with Sukuna... 
I said “not-not true” because all of those things are also true for the male characters. You see?
Gakuganji is a buffer, like Utahime. Inumaki use words for crowd control. UiUi can teleport. Mechamaru can control dolls. Arata Nitta can “stop existing injuries from getting any worse”. Yaga can put souls into stuffed animals. Amai can create flans out of his blood-sugar. All of those would be read as “feminine” if they weren’t being used by male characters.
Even Aoi Todo, his innate technique is “exchanging places of things with curse energy”, and it can only be used to help anyone who wants to go there and punch. If he was a girl, a girl obsessed with an idol, that has a “supporting technique” would “she” be deemed a badly written character? Food for thought.
What? You’re telling me the female characters are “superficial”? We know more about Nanako and Mimiko than we know about the Kappa guy. We know as much about Takako Uro than we know about Ryu Ishigori.
Even Yuuji is sometimes delegated to a supporting role. Against Sukuna he is there to trigger Higuruma’s domain and another time when they went north to recruit Hakari. He only became THE protagonist, after every single one of the other options were out of the table.
Important Tangent About the Techniques
I believe the techniques are about the things conservative Japanese society deems “improper” in any way. Things the mainstream deem possible, but “you should do it in secret”.
The three big clans deal with Space (and they are the most powerful and revered), followed by Shadows and Blood. And those are from a time where sorcerer's were accepted by Japanese society. Now they hide in plain sight. So the three families get a special pass. “Nowadays” the techniques are ebbed in a kind of shame.
Other powers include: Gakuganji’s guitar, Hakari’s pachinko, Kirara’s constellations, Nanako’s photo manipulation, Ogami’s incorporation of the dead, Junpei’s venom, Naoya and Naobito’s animation-frame-counting, Charle’s manga panels, Reggie’s contracts and the list keep going.
SIGH
There are some shonen stories that can take place anywhere. Ichigo doesn’t NEED to be japanese for Bleach to work. As well as Yusuke (Yu Yu Hakusho) and Shinji (Neon Genesis Evangelion). They could all be Brazilian and the story would be basically the same. Naruto, Goku, Asta and many others are from worlds that aren’t ours and the rules need to be explained to the main character. Jujutsu is not like that. It’s absolutely impossible to separate Jujutsu’s narrative and worldbuilding from Japan. 
As a friend of mine said: If you want to write a fanfic of JJK in China, you gotta reforge the whole worldbuilding from scratch, because Chinese society sees the internal energy of people in a different way. The Jujutsu society only works the way it works because it’s in Japan.
The powers, the energy and its relation to the world, the Heian roots, the curses and how to exorcize them... It’s all VERY japanese.
Remember my pin? So, the female sorcere’s need to deal with the inherent misogyny in jujutsu’s patriarchal society. The manga makes it very clear that it’s an even more conservative society than modern Japan. Maki and Mai’s mom walked two feet behind the man in the Zen’in clan. Momo said that Maki wouldn’t understand Mai’s pain because she let go of the society's expectations that were crushing her sister. Yorozu did her best to be recognized by the best and still couldn’t do it. Again, many of those are trying to survive in this environment, but the struggle is intrinsic to their gender and the relation they have with society.
A quick side note: Because of this (being intrinsically Japanese), Akutami sometimes doesn’t explain concepts very clearly. He assumes the Japanese viewers understand it. And they do. My humble opinion is that this is for the best. Akutami is not that good at explaining stuff. I love this manga with the strength of a thousand suns, but holy moly, are the techniques badly explained.
Anywho.
Screen Time
You can argue that “female characters have less screen time than the males”. Yeah, sure. But it’s because we have lots of screen time about ongoing fights. Satoru vs Sukuna takes 13 whole chapters! But, in universe, this was about 10 minutes? Up to an hour at best? And it was to establish Sukuna as a threat. But if it wasn’t for MeiMei, the others wouldn’t be seeing it; if it wasn’t for Angel, Satoru wouldn’t be there. The participation of all genders is prevalent in all arcs. The only ones with characters of only one gender are Junpei’s arc, without girls; and Maki’s arc, where all the men are destroyed relentlessly leaving only Maki alive.
Back on Track
Another important thing about Jujutsu Society is that it’s deeply ableist.
Yeah, Nobara had a schrodinger's death and came back after 141 chapters had passed, wearing an eyepatch. But Inumaki as well, he fought, got hurt, and then disappeared to come back as a recorder. You’re either perfect, with all your members attached, or you out. Remember? Mechamaru hid himself all his life, until he made a Binding Vow with Mahito, so he could go out in the sun.
I also think that Aoi Todo’s comeback is a plot twist, exactly for that reason. You WOULD think his boogie woogie was dead after he lost his arm, but he came back with the queixada and is kicking. Angel also came back without an arm. Both of them are amazing for that.
I believe none of the hurt characters would come back if it wasn’t for the extra-ordinary occurrence of Sukuna. That’s why the reveal of them coming back is such a strong plot-twist, because the expectation of the abandonment was already there.
“Yeah, but Nobara didn’t have to be left out like that.” you say.
Like what? I ask. Like Nanami’s death?
It’s not about Nobara. Nanami had a compelling personality, we loved him. He was a responsible adult and had a cute and short backstory about cooperative work. He came back to Jujutsu Society and died.
You remember that confusing chapter of Yaga’s death? It showed he used the soul of Kusakabe’s dead nephew on a stuffed doll, so that his sister would smile again.
Think about Junpei. He was bullied at school, with cigarette burns in his forehead, and developed a technique involving poisons, with jelly-fish shikigami. Tell me he is a bad character. And, even more, tell me he would be a bad character if he was a girl.
No. They wouldn’t be. They are all good characters.
Anyway, I think it’s not about the technique. It’s about how you use them.
Then, I completely agree, the main parts of the fights are done by the male characters. 
And I don’t think it’s because the female characters are badly written, I think it’s because Akutami might have an internalized misconception about women. But put another pin in this thought here. 
The only one that “goes there and punches” is Maki, and she only does that because she’s a mirror for Toji. This is a tragedy, because she could be so much more. But, at the same time, what Toji represents is important to the narrative, and his legacy needed to be part of the story. I’m glad it was Maki and not some boy. And even Toji’s legacy is unimportant for Maki’s own story, it’s important for the plot and for the author, but not for the character. Maki doesn't even know who Toji is and she’s developing into her own persona. She is fully herself and she isn’t Toji.
The last point I want to discuss is how the narrative leaves the women behind.
So, I’ve seen people out there saying that “Jujutsu Kaisen is a character-driven story” and I completely disagree.
I think Akutami created a trap. He has a story to tell and he made the characters think they had opinions on the matter, but they didn't. In the first page of the first chapter we see Megumi calling Gojo to tell him “Sukuna’s finger was missing from the spot.”, missing from a meteorological station. What the flying ***** was Sukuna’s finger doing in a METEOROLOGICAL STATION on the way to Yuuji’s school? It was a trap Kenjaku made. Because they created Yuuji to be Sukuna’s vessel. Yuuji never actually had any choice. It was a plot-driven story all along. I mean, the choice he made to eat the finger is solely his, but Kenjaku was his mother and they knew the kind of nature Yuuji had. He would be one to protect. they named him “yuuji” (悠仁) . Akutami said he chose this name because it sounded normal and he had a friend named like that, but it means lasting/lingering virtue.
BY THE WAY, It does not matter what definition you use: Jujutsu Kaisen is a dark fantasy. Because I didn’t not know if the main character, Yuuji, was even going to survive till the end.
The only important characters in Jujutsu Kaisen are Gojo, Sukuna and Kenjaku. The rest is rest, and Gojo died and Kenjaku is nonbinary and also died. In the end, Sukuna also died. 
Satoru Gojo and Suguru Getou both wanted to change Jujutsu society in some manner. This is very different from the normal shonen tropes. The story Akutami created heavily criticizes Japanese society. And it’s bold, I’ve never seen something like this. Usually, the characters of secret societies want to protect the status quo. But not Jujutsu. Akutami even kills off the American Defence Forces and destroys one of the biggest subway stations in the world.
Gojo intended to groom and create a new generation of sorcerer’s that agreed to his ideals, so he could overtake the conservative man controlling the world behind the scenes. That’s why he wore the uniform, to be relatable to the students, approachable. That’s why he killed those men behind the curtains. To get to make the decisions himself.
Geto wanted to anihilate the “monkey population” so people could be free from the fear of curses.
And they both died.
Because Kenjaku (again, nonbinary), wants to experiment with the human form and become MORE. 
This leads me, again, to the female characters. They disappear.
For a while, my thoughts were “I would like to see if Nobara survives”, but that’s not the point. The point is that she was not part of the narrative for a good while. She was the female lead of the story, she was the perfect counter for Mahito’s skills and she took a hit and was no more. We felt betrayed. Even if she came back afterwards, it took TOO LONG.
Yuki was even harder to watch. She was built up as Todo’s mentor. She was one of the class S sorcerers from Tokyo. And her fight with Kenjaku was intense and weird, but the importance was to establish Kenjaku as a threat, and to clarify their powers. And that’s a shame, because we wanted her to be more than that.
Bad ones
I think there are some badly written female characters in Jujutsu.
The middle school friend, Ozawa, was cute and sweet and showed us that Yuuji can see beauty in everyone. She used to be made fun of, but never from the protagonist, and never from the framing. We don't read that part to think she's funny. And even when she's short and fat, the society declares she needs to hide it, and she does, but this isn't a bad characterization. “I'm not like other girls” is not necessarily a good thing. It was also an homage to yu yu hakusho.
Yorozu, Remi and Kurusu Hana are some women that live because of the man around them. Their motivations and strengths are enhanced by their submissiveness. 
But, wait a min, isn’t UiUi the same? He is devout to his sister. Ogami’s grandson doesn’t even have a name and was turned into Toji. Getou had a whole group, full of characters we know nothing about, besides Miguel, Larue and Nanako and Mimiko, their names were Manami Sua and Toshihisa Negi. The Kappa Guy and the Katana Guy are both a mystery.
We can argue about Hana, because her background revolves around liking Megumi and wanting to defeat “the fallen one”, but her relationship with Angel is solely hers.
Tsumiki was a red herring and it was pitch perfect. We never considered she wouldn't survive. It was amazingly written. What a curveball. When Yorozu assumed the body we knew the situation became hopeless. “The poor sister we must protect” was beyond salvation.
Non binary people.
We have Kirara. We have Kenjaku. We have Uraume. Isn't that amazing? Three named non-binary characters.
And a few agender curses, but those are rarely named or have personalities. But many are also male! That’s why I decided to read Hanami as female. But that’s me.
Good and evil and we don't know their sexuality. And it's all fine.
I just wanted to point it out before I forgot.
Final Thoughts 
The conclusion is that Jujutsu Kaisen is not about being the beacon of female representativity. Jujutsu is just a measure for us to see how much we progressed in the last few years of shonen. It’s a mirror. You can think of Akutami as someone with internalized misogyny to work on (remember that pin?). But that’s ok, people can improve.
And this mirror shows us female characters in a non sexualized framing. We never saw panties. The nakedness wasn't for men to ogle. We never got a scene of “let me feel the size of your boobs” or even “I'm sad my boobs are small”. We don't have a perv character for comedy (male or female). Aoi Todo and Yuki asking about their type is jarring because there's nothing like it in the story. And they justify it by saying “the answer tells me about themselves” and it's somehow true, isn't it? They don’t aggressively persecute people who don’t answer.
If you treat JJK as the peak, it means we can never, as a culture, go up from here. And that’s a shame. Because we know it’s not true. Now we know how bad Rukia was. And I can’t wait to see how JJK ages. And this is a good thing.
There are better shonen for female representativity. I’m rather fond of UndeadxUnluck (even with Andy touching Fuuko in the first chapter, please, begin reading from the 2nd. It is one of the most epic love stories I’ve ever read.), and did you know that Kaguya-Sama Love is War is a shonen? Blue Box is shonen and Blooming Love is shonen. All of those are romance stories. The thing is, because they’re from a shonen magazine, they don’t need to conform to shoujo’s narrative expectations. And, above all of those, Akane-Banashi is the best non-battle-battle-manga of the decade, and it has a female lead.
So we should celebrate.
Thanks Akutami-sensei, for all those years of shonen battles, and for your characters.
Thank you for listening. I have the transcript in the description of the video. I apologize for any mistakes and viva Brasil!
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hellomynameisbisexual · 4 years ago
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5 Ways That Bi Erasure Hurts More Than Just Bisexual People
December 2, 2014 by Milo Todd
This year, Bisexual Awareness Day/Celebrate Bisexuality Day was on September 23rd.
That same day, the National LGBTQ Task Force thought it’d be a good idea to post an article entitled “Bye Bye Bi, Hello Queer,” in which leadership programs director Evangeline Weiss said “she is ready ‘to say bye bye to the word bisexuality.’
She said it does not describe her sexual orientation, and she encouraged readers to cease using the word as well as she felt it reinforced a binary concept of gender.
Let me drive that home a little more. The National LGBTQ Task Force not only thought it would be a good idea to publish an article insulting, misrepresenting, and forsaking the bisexual letter in their own name, but did so on Celebrate Bisexuality Day.
Rude.
And a fantastic example of the constant, ongoing erasure bisexual people have to deal with. This one just happened to be incredibly blatant.
What happened as a result of that article? People got pissed.
People got so pissed that the Task Force not only removed the article from their website, but posted in its place this non-apology (it keeps being referred to as an apology, but I’m not so easily pleased): “Having listened to a wide array of feedback on the timing and content, we recognize that this blog offended people. For this we sincerely apologize. It has been removed.”
In other words, “Sorry you got pissed off. Hopefully you’ll shut up if we take it down.” Which, as far as I can tell, isn’t much of an apology for a blatant disregard of an entire community of people.
Misunderstanding of the bisexual community has been the crux of biphobia’s history and the ongoing battle to erase bisexuality from the LGBTQIA+ community.
It’s a scary time to be bi, especially when your lesbian, gay, pansexual, and queer siblings and allies are calling for your blood simply because they’ve fallen victim to the mainstream agenda without realizing it. (Say what?! Jump to #5.)
It’s time for a change.
It’s time for all of us to properly understand one another and to — hope of hopes — become allies for our incredibly similar endeavors. To help initiate that friendship, I ask you, dear reader, to go through the following three steps.
Step 1: Look below. If I’ve played my cards right, virtually every reader should find at least one category with which they identify.
Step 2: Approach your designated section(s) with an open mind, an unprejudiced heart, and a desire to further enhance your own community/ies. It’s difficult for people to learn new things and see different views if they automatically approach them with resistance, which is often the case with bisexual topics.
Step 3: See how bi erasure hurts you as a person and, while you’re at it, likely hurts the people you care about. Because it really is happening.
So here are five ways in which bi erasure is hurting people of layered identities.
1. Female-Identified People and Feminists
Bisexuality is one of the only non-monosexual* identities currently recognized in the English-speaking world. If bisexuality is kept underground, it suppresses our limited, precious resources for open discussion about non-monosexuality. This hurts female-identified people and feminists regardless of their sexual orientation.
To this day, female-identified people can’t get a fair shake. Pay is unequal, birth control access is limited, and objectification is a daily thing. Non-monosexual women in particular are often not taken seriously because they’re seen as sluts, greedy, or unable to make up their minds.
Also, the general fetishizing of women is particularly intensified in the bisexual realm by (straight-identified) men, turning the very act of women’s sexual freedom, empowerment, and self-expression into nothing more than something for male gazes. (This is most often seen through the relentless prompts for female-female-male threesomes and masculine catcalls in bars when two femme-appearing women make out.)
By participating in or casually allowing bi erasure to happen, we’re ignoring the specific plights and abuses of bisexual women, thereby contributing to the ongoing problem of female inequality, objectification, and silence.
As feminists, we can’t pick and choose which women to fight for. The complexities of womanhood — and all of its cultural suppressions — are an all-or-none deal.
*Note: Non-monosexuality usually refers to someone who is interested in more than one sex or gender. (In other words, somebody who isn’t gay, lesbian, or straight.) Another way to say “non-monosexuality” would be “polysexuality” to help keep it from sounding negative.
2. Male-Identified People and Male Liberationists*
Just like with female-identified people and feminists, bi erasure hurts male-identified people and male liberationists regardless of their sexual orientation.
Allow me to make this pretty basic: Men continue to be fed the message that being gay is bad. Being gay means you’re not really a man, which means you lose your dude membership and the bulk of your male privilege. And since gayness equals the slightest shred of attraction to or intimacy with another male, all manners of bromance must be squashed.
In short, many guys live in a state of silent terror in this regard.
Bi men are afraid of being banished from the world of lady-loving, gay men are worried about losing all of their connections to hetero land, and nothing is worse for a straight man than being called a fag.
Constant monitoring, constant filtering, constant stress: Is this really the kind of world we guys want to keep living in?
By being able to talk about bisexuality — remember: one of our only non-monosexual identities — male-identified people can begin to break free from the masculine ideal.
Bi talk helps bridge the gap between being a man (straight) and not being a man (gay) and realizing, hey, having some manner of attraction to or intimate interaction with another guy is totally okay, masculinity unscathed.
Gay men can begin to regain their identities as men, bi men can finally start coming out, and “fag” will lose its strength as an insult from one straight man to another.
*Note: Male liberationists are more or less seen as allies to feminists and vice versa. Both will argue that patriarchy is bad, but while feminists talk of how it’s bad for females, male liberationists talk of how it’s bad for males. Examples include the inability to romantically or sexually love another male, the emasculation of men of color, and the physical, verbal, and mental abuse that comes from society’s expectations to be stereotypically masculine.
3. People Who Identify as Trans Sexual, Trans Gender, Genderfluid, Genderqueer, or Gender Non-Conforming
This one’s pretty easy. Some people on the trans spectrum identify as bisexual. But then they’re told they can’t or that it’s an insult to their trans siblings because bisexuality is believed to be trans-exclusive.
The problem with bi erasure is it adds to the ongoing problem of cis people — LGQ or not — telling trans people what to think. Cis people have a bad habit of thinking they need to speak for people on the trans spectrum even when trans people are quite capable of speaking for themselves. This is even more frustrating when it comes from a community supposedly meant to support them.
Despite the personhood for which they’re continuing to fight, trans people can receive backlash from the lesbian, gay, and queer communities as their identities and bodies are turned into political battlegrounds.
Sometimes, they’re used without consent by some cis individuals so that points can be made for non-trans-specific agendas, and sometimes they’re ironically used in the attempts for cis identities to help better the trans worlds.
For instance, automatically dismissing bisexuality as trans-exclusive and guilting any person on the trans spectrum that wants to identity as bisexual, if I may make so fine a point.
As blogger Aud Traher writes, “If you want to support trans people like me, don’t erase me or speak over me or cause me harm out of self-righteous biphobia. Look into yourself and deal with that internalized biphobia and then help others get over theirs. Don’t advocate for the destruction of a community in the name of ‘saving’ it. And, especially, don’t do it in my name.”
4. People Who Identify as Gay, Lesbian, or — Yes — Straight
Quite simply, it makes gays and lesbians (and straight people) look bad, too.
Bisexual people get a bad rap for apparently upholding the gender binary by saying they love only (cis) men or (cis) women, but isn’t that pretty much exactly what gays, lesbians, and straight people are saying when they identify as gay, lesbian, or straight? That they’ll only love either (cis) men or (cis) women?
But where’s their rampant backlash from the rest of the community for upholding the gender binary? I’m just sayin’.
Even when these groups extend their definitions to include trans people and people on the gender non-conforming spectrum, it’s often still as long as those trans people exhibit some manner of gender representation that falls into the lover’s category of desire.
Now, I’m honestly not trying to rag on gays, lesbians, or even straight people. They have as much right to identify how they want as anybody else. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling primarily attracted to only, say, cis or trans men if your brain simply tells you that you only like guys. That’s fine. Go ahead and do that. I’m not saying you can’t.
What I am saying is you can’t be spewing bi hate or letting bi erasure slide because 1) it’s incredibly one-sided and unfair, and 2) in the end, it’s making you look bad, too.
What do you think will happen if bi erasure is a success? You’ll be next, dears.
*cue Jaws theme*
5. People Who Identify as Queer, Pansexual, or Another Fellow Non-Monosexual
In late October, Lizzy the Lezzy — who I quite enjoy, by the way — shared a photo on her Facebook timeline explaining sexuality in terms of guests at a BBQ.
This would be all well and good if it didn’t include a glaring misconception about bisexual people, especially when compared to pansexuals. While bisexual people were defined as getting both hot dogs and hamburgers, pansexuals were defined as getting hot dogs, hamburgers, “and a salad.” Oops. What year is this again?
I’m going to make something very plain to you, dear reader: Bisexual people don’t just love (cis) men or (cis) women. That’s not how the ballpark definition goes. The “bi” in “bisexual” does not indicate a binary. Well, okay, it does indicate a binary, but probably not the one you think.
Instead of “bi” meaning a love for only cis men or cis women or otherwise putting men and women at two opposite ends of a spectrum, “bi” means a love for identities bisexual people identify with themselves and identities that they don’t.
Or, as the popular Robyn Ochs definition goes: “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”
Look at that very closely. That’s still a binary. That’s still “bi.” And there isn’t a thing wrong with it, no exclusion to be seen.
When compared with the general concepts of pansexuals and queers, our orientations suddenly sound pretty darn similar: We love everyone.
Bisexual people get a bad rap for apparently being transphobic. While we’ve already seen a little bit in #3 as to why we aren’t, I want to further drive the point home here. A large portion of the transphobic accusations toward us come from the queer and pansexual communities, which in turn seem to derive from some serious misinformation and misdirection by the mainstream.
For the record, queers and pansexuals are cool. I like them. But the fact of the matter is that the misconception of the “bi” in “bisexual” as meaning an attraction to only (cis) men or (cis) women — and therefore upholding the gender binary — was created and imposed upon bisexual people by the mainstream. You know, the people that want the gender binary to stick around.
And some queers and pansexuals ate the propaganda they were fed? That’s terrifying. It starts to show just how large and sneaky the mainstream’s gender binary monster truly is.
By defining and erasing bisexuality on the grounds that it upholds the gender binary, pansexuals and queers are not only reinforcing the binary they so sorely wish to dismantle, but they are losing important focus on where the problem actually resides: the mainstream’s insistence to force the gender binary on non-mainstream groups such as bisexual people.
Further, holding bisexual people responsible for the abuse they’ve suffered is simply wrong. All that’s doing is blaming the victim. But, by recognizing and respecting bisexual people as they truly are, bisexual people can not only help dismantle the gender binary and put a new definition on the concept of the spectrum, but finally be allowed to team up with pansexuals and queers to crush mainstream abuse on non-mainstream identities.
Doesn’t that sound nice? I think it sounds nice.
TL;DR
Dear non-bisexual identities, please stop shooting yourselves in the foot and then wondering why you’re missing toes.
We’re here for the same reasons you are: for the right to love whoever we want and for the right for others to do the same.
So let’s finally be friends. We’re never going to get anything done if we keep spending our time putting each other down.
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