#‘oh you ate TWO meals and a snack instead of one meal and nothing else. disgusting.’ like HELLO⁉️

[eenochian]

STRANGLING MY BRAIN

[lannister-slings-and-arrows]

I and Love and You

The fifth in Rafael Barba/Reader/Frederick Chilton threesome verse written in collaboration with @pascalispretty . Mood board also by the lovely and talented @pascalispretty !! Yep. We did this. Was it necessary? No. Did we enjoy it? Sometimes. Are you going to read it? I sure hope you do and that you like it! Cross posted on ao3!

Part Five of the series So Much Easier than You Realize

Warnings: Total and complete tooth rotting fluff. Schedule an appointment with your dentists, ladies and germs. Rafael is, as always, a bit of a jackass. You will probably have an incurable craving for breakfast food. And the teeniest tiniest mention of daddy kink. Rating: E for everyone because there is nothing objectionable in this at all, I did not think we could actually write something this sweet lol. Word Count: 3725 Summary: Mornings are for cookies and contemplation.

When Rafa wakes up, he spares a moment to sympathize with his growling stomach. More than one moment, if he’s being honest with himself. He isn’t normally an early riser but his stomach wouldn’t be so empty if he’d been allowed to have his bedtime snack and not rudely distracted by his two partners and an ingenious application of his second favorite blue tie. The result is pleasantly sore abdominal muscles and the rare opportunity to wake up in time to see the both of them still peacefully asleep in bed next to him.

Fred’s back is pressed close to his chest and his legs brush against Rafa’s as he levers himself up onto his elbow to look at her on Fred’s other side. Her face is tucked against Fred’s neck and the doctor’s arms are wrapped tightly around her, and Rafa smiles at them both, still asleep in the soft grey early morning light.

Fred shifts, and an irritable frown passes over his face the longer Rafa uses him to balance himself to stare at the two of them, so Rafa quickly presses a kiss to his temple before settling back down with a sigh.

It’s too early to be up, really, but he’s starving and is not getting back to sleep without eating something. He grunts and sits up before pressing another kiss to Fred’s shoulder. He swings his legs out of bed and grabs a pair of grey sweatpants.

Rafa trudges down the hall to the kitchen. There were still Bugles hidden in the back of Fred’s Tupperware cabinet. Oh shit, had he eaten them all? He flicks on the light to the kitchen and huffs a quiet laugh when he finds a sticky note on the door of said cabinet in Fred’s small, precise handwriting.

Sorry, I ate the last of your chips two days ago. In my defense, counselor, you left them in my house and I was having a very stressful day. I made you cookies instead, they’re on top of the microwave. I figured you’d be up before the both of us this morning since you didn’t get your snack. --An Apologetic Psychiatrist who feels like he shouldn’t be apologizing for eating food in his own cupboards.

Rafa runs his fingers over the note a few times, smiling like an idiot, his heart feeling full and warm and about seven sizes larger than it was when he woke up. He turns his head and sees a plastic container (with a green lid because the green Tupperware was for storage of baked goods as Fred was constantly reminding him) right where Fred said it would be, and when he steps over to investigate it further he finds a batch of white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. Another note is stuck to the lid.

I know these aren’t your favorite. I know that you don’t really enjoy white chocolate. Consider this my attempt to make sure you don’t eat all of these in one sitting. Please limit yourself to two; you aren’t in your 20’s anymore, Rafael, and it’s not even a normal time for breakfast yet, much less cookies. --A Not Apologetic Psychiatrist who doesn’t want your first heart attack to be in his apartment, thank you very much.

Rafa rolls his eyes and peels the lid off, smirking as he deliberately takes three out of the box. He doesn’t hate white chocolate, after all, and he does love macadamia nuts. And he has always had a problem following instructions.

Standing at the kitchen counter, Rafa eats his cookies with a pleased groan, once again thanking whatever saints or angels his mami appeals to for sending him a partner that bakes. Not that he thinks his mother would have prayed for someone at all like Fred. Fussy, officious, arrogant, snobby, and, well, a man. His mother would have had someone like their younger lover in mind however. Smart, pretty, and willing to stand up to his attitude. Most of the time anyways. Well, what did Lucia Barba always say? You can make as many requests of God as you want to but remember that He has a sense of humor too? She got him a little extra than what her original request probably specified.

Rafa snorts at the thought and brushes crumbs off his bare chest, leaning back against the counter and surveying the kitchen in the growing light. He’s still hungry but he knows he’ll hear about it if Fred wakes up and all of those cookies are gone. And today is supposed to be the one day this whole month the three of them can spend just being quiet together with no plans, no work, and no prior obligations. He’d rather not spend it all dodging Fred’s passive aggressive jabs and her pouting looks and quiet pleas to please just be the bigger man and apologize.

He stretches his arms out on the counter behind him and tips his head back, staring absently at Fred’s kitchen ceiling as he contemplates making his way back to bed and napping until Fred wakes up and decides to order in breakfast. He’s nearly settled on that plan when he catches sight out of the corner of his eye of the bright blue note on the cupboard. He doesn’t remember Fred spending any time in the kitchen before the two of them dragged Rafa into the bedroom to put his ties to a much more interesting use. He must have gotten out of bed after Rafa fell asleep to put this together, and Rafa can’t help the smile that spreads over his entire face.

Rafa slaps his palms on the counter and shoves himself off, making his way over to the fridge to see what Fred has in the way of actual food. He’s already awake; the least he can do is make breakfast.

He finds the ingredients for pancakes easily enough--Fred is a stickler for organization. Rafa tries not to make a mess as he moves around the perfectly arranged and spotless kitchen. He stirs the batter by hand rather than risk the noise of the KitchenAid but pauses over whether or not to put chocolate chips in.

She would be pleased, her sweet tooth nearly rivals his own, but Fred would almost definitely be annoyed. Especially because Rafa has already had chocolate earlier in the morning. With a fond sigh, Rafa puts the glass jar back in the cupboard, though not before tipping a few of the chocolate chips out into his hand.

It reminds him of cooking in Fred’s beautiful house in Baltimore, his sweet girl laughing and dancing around the kitchen in one of Fred’s shirts, barely being any help at all. All three of them adore the big, beautiful house that Fred had shyly shown them--as if they could have done anything else other than fall in love with it.

Fred relaxed slightly when it became clear that his guests found the house as beautiful as he did. Rafa tried to help her in slowing Fred down as he showed it to them, asking questions about particular objects or features and pointing out the things they especially admired. Every sincere compliment kept a gratified little smile plastered on Fred’s face--and there was plenty to compliment him on.

It’s clear that it holds a special place in Fred’s heart. It’s so him, every inch of it reflecting back the man who poured so much time and effort and money into making it a home. From the collection of antique medical texts carefully displayed on the shelves to the exact shade of teal velvet upholstery on some of the armchairs, Fred had lavished attention on the house to surround himself with things he loved and found beautiful. It amused Rafa to wonder if he’d taken that into account when he’d invited his partners over; whether they’d laud the elegant aesthetic he’d established in his home.

Shifting the spoon briefly to give his right hand a break from mixing, he smiles at the memory. He’s never actually admitted to Fred how much he likes playing house with his two partners there. Rafa is fairly certain that the kitchen in the Baltimore house is larger than the apartment that he grew up in and he knows that a wine cellar is an absurd luxury. But it’s a place where the three of them are free to be themselves, without worrying about nosy neighbors and doormen.

Rafa snorts quietly, folding the batter briskly to get out all the little flour bubbles. That pretty well explains how he feels about Fred too. Fred is too high maintenance, too abrasive in all the ways Rafa normally hates, too… prep school, but Rafa can’t help but smile indulgently every time he turns his nose up at a meal that costs less than fifty dollars, or every time he gets that prissy stubborn look on his face, or juts his chin out and point blank refuses to admit that he’s wrong (even though Rafa can tell that he knows that he is).

He never apologizes either. Ever. He’ll be proven wrong, he’ll hurt both their feelings, and the closest to any sort of acknowledgment of wrongdoing that the both of them will get will be a cup of coffee in bed the next morning, one of Fred’s most handsome smiles, and the complete and sudden cessation of all hostilities like the fight never happened. Rafa knows that with anyone else that kind of behavior would be a relationship killer.

Rafa looks over the batter and nods to himself, satisfied with the consistency, and balances the spoon against the side of the bowl. He stares at the oven and frowns. Just pancakes hardly make breakfast. Going over to the fridge, he grabs bacon out of its particular place, rolling his eyes as he does so, and tosses it on the counter next to the pancake batter, reaching under the silverware drawer for a frying pan.

Maybe it’s the way Fred ‘apologizes’ with the perfect cup of coffee instead of actual words. Maybe it’s that same perfect cup of coffee that somehow manages to find its way onto his desk at work when he’s too swamped to go out and get one--just because Fred knows he needs it. Or a sandwich from his favorite deli and a quick flash of that handsome smile on Fred’s lunch break.

Rafa gets started on actually cooking said breakfast, hissing and swearing quietly when he gets a first-hand demonstration of why you shouldn’t fry things without a shirt on. Fred would have more than a few words to say to him about the relative intelligence of what he’s doing right now. He grins. Maybe that’s it--the way he cares while trying desperately to make it seem like every time it’s an inconvenience of the highest order.

Maybe Rafa loves Fred because every once in a while, when he’s very drunk, very tired, or the perfect combination of both, Fred slips a little and calls the both of them by those cute, ridiculous southern pet names that before now Rafa would have put money on being more myth than fact. And how embarrassed he is when it is pointed out to him that he just called a forty-something year old man ‘pickle’.

Fred is arrogant, prickly, particular, and both overindulgent and overly judgmental of vices depending on if he himself shares in them. He is a pain to get along with most of the time and sometimes treats the two of them like they’re made of spun gold--things to be cherished and well looked after and shown off to the best of his ability. He’s a contradictory monster and Rafa loves him.

He has a feeling that the smile on his face is sappy and ridiculous, but as he turns the bacon and settles to wait a few more minutes, he shrugs. There isn’t anyone else around this early to see him; his reputation as a son of a bitch and a jackass won’t be ruined. He loves Fred. He loves her. He loves both of them--sometimes so much it’s hard for him to keep it to himself and wait for them to come to the same conclusion. Their individual faults, foibles, and perfections and the way they mesh with each other and fit so surprisingly well in his own life.

Like getting new book recommendations from her--whenever he has the time to actually read something for fun. She leaves them on his home desk with a brief explanation why she thinks he’ll like them. That almost always makes up for the numerous occasions he has gone looking for one of his own books and found it had mysteriously jumped off its shelf and walked itself three rooms over, or managed to find itself completely out of order.

He drains the bacon onto a paper towel covered plate and gives the pan a quick rinse. He loves finding packets of M&M’s in his briefcase or in his suit coat pockets, loves knowing they’re from her and that she braved Fred’s ire to indulge his habit of constant snacking. A habit Fred particularly despises. He loves--most of the time--being a couple minutes late to work some mornings because she got into a nearly incoherent argument with him about what color tie he should wear. He loves that she loves his wardrobe as much as he does.

Rafa loves ganging up with her to tease Fred and loves that she can take some teasing herself. He loves that she just rolls her eyes and plays along when his puckish side emerges and he can’t help but be an asshole even though he can tell she would rather he didn’t.

Rafa starts pouring pancake batter, chuckling to himself when he recalls the mood she’d gotten into the last time his sense of humor had gotten the better of him. While waiting for a table in a restaurant, a strange woman had made a snide comment about ‘men dating women young enough to be their daughters’ and Rafa had been unable to resist feigning outrage and asking what was so terrible about a man taking his daughter out for a nice birthday dinner.

The woman had been mortified, and Rafa had enjoyed the look on her face so much that he’d only hammered the point home further, telling her it was hardly his fault he was a widower and a single parent. He hoped it had taught her a valuable lesson in boundaries. His sweet girl had been so embarrassed but it had been so worth it.

Flipping the first pancake, he thinks about the flaws that come with her youth. She’s always the first one to joke about having daddy issues and Rafa can hardly deny how much he enjoys hearing her call him papi--and Fred daddy--in bed. He just has to try not to think too deeply about it. Not that Rafa really has a leg to stand on where difficult paternal relationships are concerned. But her jokes mask an insecurity and a clinginess that Fred has a habit of overindulging. More than once when he’s been trying to work she’s tried to distract him or cuddle up to him and then gotten sulky when he had to gently but firmly rebuff her.

When he finally finishes work on those evenings, he usually finds her wrapped around Fred instead, giving him a wounded look when he finally emerges from behind his case files. Those looks are wordless guilt trips every time he’s on the receiving end of one--no matter how right he feels in his decision to work instead of play.

And yet somehow she’s worked the same magic on him that Fred has. A flaw that in anyone else would have stopped any idea of a relationship in its tracks is something that he’s come to love about her. Her clinginess comes from a place of emotional fragility and it must be hard to let her partners see that. The fact that she trusts them enough to be so vulnerable around them makes Rafa’s heart swell. He can’t help but love her, even when he’s dealing with her pouting and huffing.

Fred talks about it like Rafa is somehow being ungrateful, that he should drop everything to spend time with his beautiful, smart, young lover, and it drives Rafa crazy. He knows that Fred generally means well when he tries to appeal against his more workaholic tendencies, but he also knows that Fred could retire now and live off his trust fund if he wanted. It rubs him the wrong way when Fred tries to discourage him from working hard because he’s never needed to understand why Rafa works as hard as he does.

He starts stacking the cooked pancakes on a plate on the stove and furrows his brow in concentration. Fred gleefully indulges her in her clinginess, dropping everything to scoop her into his arms or take her to bed. They’ve even taken to napping together with his cock still tucked inside her, as if they can’t bear to be anything other than as close as physically possible. He’s stubbornly blind to the fact that Rafa can’t just drop what he’s doing. If Fred misses a deadline for submitting a journal article the worst that happens is it gets pushed back an issue. If Rafa misses something in his case files or submits something late or fails to prepare as fully as he should, it can ruin lives. Dangerous predators can be let out on the street to offend again. People don’t get the justice they deserve. And even in this day and age, a poor boy with a Spanish name is granted a lot less leeway with employers than a rich boy with a nice American name and family money.

They come from very different worlds, even if Rafa has carefully and thoroughly infiltrated Fred’s, and Rafa loves and hates it a little that Fred forgets that most of the time. Rafa has to always be ‘on’ and can’t afford the same kind of laxness that Fred can.

Sometimes he even has to be ‘on’ at home when he’d rather put his fist through a wall or wrap himself in every blanket in the apartment with a bottle of scotch and pass out. Like when he walks into whichever apartment they’re spending the night at to find Fred in a screaming match with her that he has to moderate. She likes to complain that he and Fred can really get into it like a pair of children, and he isn’t saying she’s wrong—they definitely can—but she and Fred are just as bad. Frankly, the three of them are cut from the same cloth when it comes to being pig headed and it makes for some rather loud and spirited fights.

Like the frequent battles she has with Fred over her occasional smoking habit. They always start out with Fred gently chiding and somehow end up with Fred snidely pulling out his “I went to medical school, therefore everyone else is a moron” voice and her reminding him that he couldn’t cut it as a real doctor and she’ll “smoke a goddamn fucking cigarette every once in a while if she fucking feels like it.” Rafa tries to interfere before it descends to “as much as you like to act like it sometimes, Frederick, you aren’t my father” and “maybe if you knew how to make better choices you wouldn’t be constantly seeking validation from older men,” but he doesn’t always get home in time and instead walks in to the both of them glaring icily at each other or shouting as many deliberately hurtful things as they can.

He likes to leave his courtroom face at work, but it’s generally the only thing that will defuse those battles, or at least calm them down into cold wars. Rafa doesn’t particularly enjoy playing mediator on the best of days, especially not when one wrong word from him will have one or both of them turning on him as another enemy combatant. He likes his occasional cigarette too, and he snacks constantly, and eats terribly; all things that Fred will use to drag him into a fight.

But while he hates trying to calm them down enough to at least stop yelling, he has to admit he loves having people around to yell in the first place. Yes, these fights mean he has to put on his lawyer face when he’d rather get drunk and pass out. But he has people in his life to break up fights between. He can come “home” to people who care about him. People who, when they aren’t screaming, see him come through the door and smile. People who would, and have on occasion, drop what they are doing to bring him something he left at home and needs now. People who drop a sandwich on his desk when he’s working and quietly--most of the time-- leave him to it.

People who care and appreciate him.

Rafa finishes setting plates and cutlery out on the island and starts the coffee maker. He loves having them a few rooms away. He loves knowing that they like him enough to put up with his “shoebox sized apartment”, with him being an incurable workaholic, with the fact that when he gets stressed or angry he lashes out at anyone around him. With the fact that when he does he can be more than a little cruel.

Rafa makes his way back into Fred’s bedroom, wincing as always at how bright it gets when the morning sun fully hits it. He smiles when he sees them still tucked against each other just like he had left them. He loves this view the most.

Rafa grins mischievously. They put up with his innate tendency to be a complete and utter jackass, and that is one more thing he loves about them.

“I just rearranged every single cupboard, bookshelf, and drawer in your entire apartment, Frederick!” Rafa informs the room in general. Loudly.

Fred’s eyes snap open and he sits up, dislodging his sleeping companion without a second glance. His gaze lands on Rafa, who is smirking next to him, and his eyes go comically wide in horror.

“Rafael Barba, you didn’t.”

Tag List: @sassyada, @dreamlover31, @prurientpuddlejumper, @storiesofsvu

[ranhaitanisgf]

;; 𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖙𝖙

otherwise read as: bennett has a crush 

--

❧ masterlist

The side of your face was smushed on the table, a bored look on your face as you watched Sara serve customers at the Good Hunter.

"Ugh...I'm so tired..." You closed your eyes, thinking of things you might be able to do, but ultimately coming up with nothing.

"Hey! Watch out!" Not a moment later after the words were yelled, a searing liquid spilled on your shoulders, making you sit straight up as you squirmed, trying to get your shirt to separate from your back.

" Hot hot hot hot!!" You whispered, looking around to see what had happened. Looking up, you saw Sara staring at you with a surprised and slightly horrified look, an empty soup bowl in her hands. It looked as if she was about to say something, but before she could, something cold spilled onto your back, splashing onto your hair and the rest of your clothes.

"What the..."

"Sorry! Um..." You turned around in your seat and saw Eury behind you, standing there with a now empty glass pointed in your direction.

"Oh my Archons, I'm so sorry (Y/N)! Are you alright!?" Sara said in a panicked voice, trying to vigorously wipe off your shoulders with a rag. Wincing, you waved her off, a pained smile on your face from the towel rubbing against the tender skin.

"Ah, it's fine Sara, really, no worries!" You gave her a thumbs-up, although it did nothing to ease the panic off her face.

"I-I'll give you a meal, on the house! Two free meals! Come by whenever, just please don't tell anyone about this!" She begged, almost about to get on her knees and beg.

"It's fine, I'm not gonna go talking to all of Teyvat about it, it's no biggie. I'm gonna go change my clothes though..." You stood up from your seat, waving at her before heading to the Adventurer's Guild, sighing as you looked at your clothes.

Man, and I really liked these too...hopefully it doesn't stain with Cream Stew for eternity...

Bad luck has always followed you wherever you've gone, whether it was slipping on a rock or having an entire camp of Fatui Skirmishers attack you while you were asleep. It was non-stop, so you weren't exactly shocked that something had happened in the short amount of time you had been sitting at the Good Hunter.

There was only one solution to your luck; cancel it out.

"Hey (Y/N), is that you?" An enthusiastic voice called out. A small smile appeared on your face as you waved to the figure running towards you from the direction of the Guild.

"Yeah, hey Bennett." Waving at him, he ran up to you looking like he was about to say something, but then he noticed the mess on your shoulders.

"What happened to your shirt?" You laughed nervously, looking to the side.

"Oh, Sara accidentally spilled some Cream Stew, y'know? That's all!" He looked at you curiously and swiped from some of the soup that was still on your shirt with his finger, tasting it. A slight flush filled your cheeks, as you stared at him in disbelief.

"H-Huh!? Bennett, what're you doing!?" He just gave a big goofy smile and grabbed your hand to start pulling you towards the Guild.

"Well, now that I'm here, nothing else will happen! Also, that stew is still pretty good!" You didn't say anything, attempting to keep calm as you tried to keep up with his fast pace.

The boy looked over towards a nearby windmill, seeing Captain Kaeya salute him with two fingers before striding off towards the Knights of Favonius HQ. His hand slightly tightened it's grip around yours, sudden nervousness making him almost hesitate.

C'mon Bennett, you got this! No hesitating!

Before you knew it, he had dragged you to a patch of grass behind the Guild, where a picnic table had been set up with an array of sweets and snacks.

"Surprise! Fischl told me the other day the adventure you guys went on didn't go exactly as planned because I was gone, so I decided to make it up to you! I, uh, hope you like it!" He said, his hand resting on the nape of his neck.

You didn't even know what to say. Nobody had ever done such a grand gesture towards you before, so it felt surreal, especially since it was coming from Bennett.

"I-! Um, thank you! You really didn't have to though!" You noticed that he was still holding onto your hand with a tight grip, though you weren't sure if it was intentional or not. Your opposite hand rested on your cheek, trying to hold yourself together and not completely fangirl right in front of him.

The two of you sat down, and you inwardly groaned when he let go of your hand, a mumbled apology coming out his mouth accompanied by awkward coughing. A few moments went by before he spoke.

"Well, dig in (Y/N)! It's all yours y'know!" You didn't even know where to start with everything. It seemed that he had put out all of your favorite desserts, and it looked like Razor helped him too by the look of the hashbrowns.

"Ah, okay!" You decided to start off with the Almond Tofu, because who doesn't love it? As soon as you put it in your mouth, the taste was like nothing you had ever had before, and you immediately turned to Bennett.

"This! This is so good! How did you make it!?"

"Oh, is it really that good? I had the Traveler help me with it, and I'll tell you, he is a master cook! I would never have expected it! Here, wait, try this!" You figured that he was just going to point out what to eat, but instead, he grabbed a forkful of cake and held it out to you.

While he might have looked calm and cheery, he was inwardly freaking out.

What if she thinks I'm weird!?  If this plan backfires on me I'm moving to Sumeru and I will never step foot in Mondstadt again.

His heart was pounding as he saw a confused look on your face. The realization probably dawned on you after that, especially when one could plainly see the flushed look on your face as you realized.

Hesitantly, you opened your mouth and ate the cake on the fork that he held out, chewing thoughtfully before your eyes widened at him.

"BENNETT!!"

"Uh, yeah...?"

"THIS IS SO GOOD!" The tips of his ears were burning red from the adorable look on your face, and he had to cover the bottom half of his face with his hand as he could feel the red get more and more intense.

"(Y/N)!" You looked up from the cake that you were pigging out on, a look on your face like you had been caught doing something you shouldn't have.

"Uhhhhhh...yeah?" You slowly started moving your forkful of cake towards your mouth as you waited for his answer.

"Listen! I-! I really, really like you! A-And it's fine if you don't feel the same, I just wanted to tell you because I don't like keeping secrets from my friends and I think I made it awkward now so I'm just gonna-mmph!?"  Instead, you shoved the forkful of cake into his mouth, looking away with a furious blush on your face.

"Just shut up okay! Of course, I like you too, why wouldn't I!? So, um!" He looked at you with an incredulous look in his eyes as he chewed the cake, but you just so happened to notice that there was some frosting on his lip.

Yolo it bruh, don't be a coward.

Leaning closer, you swiped your thumb across his lip, collecting the frosting and tasting it as your heart pounded.

"Hmm...still tastes good!" Bennett didn't say anything, he just stared at you, and you started to get nervous and were about to apologize for your actions.

Suddenly, his hand slipped behind your head, pulling you close, but he paused right before his lips could touch yours.

"Um, can I kiss you?" (consent asking king, this is canon, he asks for consent)

"Y-Yeah!!" Not a moment later, he touched his lips to yours. It was a warm kiss, almost as if you were in front of a fireplace, and the way you gently moved his lips in sync with yours felt like you were home.

When the two of you pulled away, you hesitantly leaned your head on his chest, and hearing his accelerated heartbeat made you giggle a little bit.

"H-Hey, what's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing Bennett...just very happy."

~~

[whumpmatsus]

Hmm could do one where one one of boys has rough day, that leads to emotional overeating, and bellyache that they try to hide until they can't. Please and thank.

aaaaaa, lovely!

I went with Totty because it feels like I haven't written him in a while

and there's a tiny bit of Allmatsu, buuuut really it's mostly Cybermatsu :D

hope you like it, I had a lot of fun with it!

-

Most of the time, Totty thinks he does a pretty good job being composed at work.

However, that’s easy to do when the majority of the days are okay. Sometimes there’s a bad moment or two that he can recover from by the time he gets home; never before has it been an entire day full of nothing but bad moments.

Until today, of course.

It’s just been one awful thing after another. One of his brothers accidentally turned off the alarm clock, probably by hitting it or steadying themself against it while going to the bathroom… so he was late to work. When he finally got behind the register, there was already a decent-sized line and the early morning customers were irritable before their coffee. Nearly every single customer during his shift snapped at him in some way even when he was trying to be helpful.

His coworkers were less than pleasant, especially after a couple hours when one of them had to take over for him because he had to go pee. To make things worse, toward the end of the day he managed to smash his fingers in the cash drawer while closing it.

The highlight of the day was when he was on his way out and a customer wanted help. Company policy being that he wasn’t allowed to work in any way while he was off the clock, he told them he was actually heading home and pointed to one of his coworkers. Which apparently wasn’t good enough, as he was accused of being lazy and not wanting to do his job and told that the customer was going to talk to his manager and have him fired.

Is it any wonder he’s spent almost the whole train ride home in tears? It hasn’t been a great day to be Matsuno Todomatsu.

He feels a little better by the time he gets home, but he’s exhausted and overwhelmed by everything that went wrong. Part of him wants to find one of his brothers and bitch his heart out. The other part just wants to shove food into his mouth and pretend none of it ever happened.

Sutabaa allows employees to eat some of the cheap things for free during their break, which Totty doesn’t often take advantage of. He’d rather have a snack at home so he doesn’t have to scarf it down in ten minutes. Today, though, he managed to put away a chocolate croissant plus a couple of cookies, so he shouldn’t be hungry at all when he gets home.

And he’s not… really hungry. He just wants to eat something for the sake of it, so that maybe eating something tasty will make it seem like nothing went wrong today. The food during his break made things seem better for a minute while he ate it. All he wants is more of that feeling, to make believe it wasn’t such a bad day.

He doesn’t know where any of his brothers are, and he doesn’t particularly care. He doesn’t think he’d give half a shit if one of them walked in on him raiding the fridge and pantry as if he’s preparing to hibernate through the winter. They all stuff their faces at any available opportunity, so why would it be surprising to find him doing it, especially after a long day at work which none of the rest of them do?

It doesn’t even really matter to him what he’s eating, either. Just things that don’t require too much time between being in his hand and sliding down his throat.

There’s about a portion’s worth of takoyaki left in the fridge from dinner last night, so he finishes that off. Some daifukumochi that was in the cabinet, along with a packet of konpeitō. A bag of arare disappears pretty quickly, too. He doesn’t really know if the imagawayaki that was sitting on the counter was left for him or if it was a single treat that nobody had fought over yet ― regardless, he eats it anyway.

Each bite is a violent attempt to deny the shittiness of this whole day. It all tastes delicious, so he can lose himself inside it for a moment. What never really occurs to him is that every moment doesn’t last too long, and even though his stomach isn’t built for this kind of eating, he’s reaching for another snack as soon as the last one has dissolved on his tongue.

He throws packaging away as he goes, just to keep things neat. He’s just biting into his latest snack when someone else walks into the kitchen, and looking up, it turns out to be Choromatsu.

“O-oh, hey, Totty, you’re home. How was work?” He starts ducking into the refrigerator, then suddenly straightens up and gives his youngest brother a curious look. “… Uh. That’s my Big Katsu. Why are you eating it??”

Given that his teeth are currently sunk into it, Totty feels a little guilty. So at least he doesn’t have to fake the expression on his face. “Oh… sorry, Choro-nii-san! I’m just really hungry… I’ll buy you another one tomorrow.”

After a moment, Choromatsu sighs, evidently deciding to let Totty off the hook rather than fight with him about it. “Yeah, that’s fine. I was saving it, but if I haven’t craved it this long, I can wait. There’s other stuff I can have for a snack.” He opens the refrigerator door and pulls out a single mini carton of milk, then frowns. “Hey, wasn’t there some leftover takoyaki in here?”

He huffs as he closes the fridge. “Dammit. Osomatsu probably ate the rest of it while I wasn’t paying attention, the douche.”

He shakes his head and gets in the pantry for a bag of potato chips instead. “Guess these’ll do till dinner. Hey, Totty, you’re probably still hungry, right? Why don’t you share with me? I’m not starving or anything… half a bag would do it for me, I think.”

Totty’s stomach twinges suddenly, alerting him that he may have eaten too much. He’s not used to shoveling down this much at one time, though the realization that he’s uncomfortably full doesn’t stop him from hurriedly cramming the rest of the Big Katsu into his mouth.

And, honestly, it’s not like he can say no to the offer. He just told his big brother he was hungry and he’s been gulping down food at an insatiable pace. Thinking about the taste of potato chips sort of makes him want some.

Plus… Choromatsu is being nice by sharing, despite the fact that Totty already took one of his snacks without even asking. It would be mean to turn that down when he’s just trying to make sure Totty gets fed properly.

So he plasters a smile on and tosses the wrapper before stepping toward his older brother. Everything’s fine. “Ah, yeah… sounds good.”

-

Everything is not fine.

Dinner is beginning to be a struggle to get through. Totty hates wasting the food, but his thought is to put it away for later when his stomach isn’t actively trying to kill him. The pain is different to anything he’s ever experienced, a feeling like he’s full all the way up to his chest and so can’t get a decent breath in. He feels cold and clammy even though he knows he’s sweating. In short, it sucks.

The one thing he counted on was his brothers not noticing that he wasn’t eating anything. After sharing the chips with Choromatsu, he started to feel like he was going to burst. Even though the sensation quieted down a little bit, it never quite went away.

Now that he’s been faced with a table full of food, it’s even worse. His stomach is gurgling and swirling and nothing helps. Not taking deep breaths through his nose, not taking tiny sips of his tea, not focusing on any other thoughts. Nothing. It’s all useless. He thinks that as soon as dinner is over, he’s gonna have to go throw up. No ifs, ands, or buts; one way or another, he’s gonna be sick.

His only hope now is that he can ride it out long enough for everyone to head their separate ways so he doesn’t have to face the humiliation of admitting that he ate too much and hurt his stomach.

“U-uh, Totty,” Choromatsu speaks up suddenly, “aren’t you gonna eat anything? You were hungry enough to eat my Big Katsu earlier, I’d have thought you were really looking forward to dinner.”

Ugh. Did he have to???

Totty forces a smile onto his face. “Oh, yeah, I… I guess I’m just not in the mood for this stuff tonight, you know?”

The look on Osomatsu’s face could be mistaken for someone who’d just swallowed a lemon. “What?! But Totty, this is your favorite! You’re not gonna eat any of it? You can’t just skip meals like that, dude.”

“Yeah,” Ichimatsu hums thoughtfully. “You’re not gonna be any more healthy or attractive if you’re starving, you know.”

Geez. His brothers are so fucking embarrassing. Choromatsu is giving him some backhanded concern, Osomatsu is overzealous as usual, and Ichimatsu sounds like a Goddamn after-school special.

Karamatsu, meanwhile, is scrutinizing him just the same. “Yes, Totty, my brother… you look rather pale. You really should eat something!”

“Yeah, yeah!” Jyushimatsu practically launches himself over the table, holding a bite of food from his own plate between chopsticks toward his little brother’s mouth. “Here! Winding up for the pitch… batter uuuuuup!”

“Ughhhhh!” Totty leans back, even though any movement unsettles his stomach further. “You guys are ridiculous! I’m fine! W-what, am I not allowed to have just lost my appetite without every single one of my big brothers making a federal case of it?!”

All the others share a silent look, then there comes a unanimous, “Nope.”

He groans and leans his arm against the table. Shit, it’s getting worse. All he wants to do is run to the bathroom and puke, so that maybe he’ll actually feel better. If he does that, though, everyone will be on his case about how much he ate instead of how little he’s eating right now. He doesn’t need nor want a lecture.

Actually, what he wants more than anything is to just be taken care of and told that it’s okay, he screwed up a bit, it’s not the end of the world. That would require confessing to this stupid mistake, though… and he really doesn’t want to do that. He’s so sure that if he does, he’s just going to get scolded instead of comforted.

When he looks around the table again, he notices that Choromatsu in particular looks worried. “C’mon, Totty. You know we care about you. Osomatsu and Ichimatsu are right; it’s not healthy to skip meals.”

“Dammit, I know that, Fappymatsu! Just because I’m pretty doesn’t mean I’m stupid.” Totty scowls down at the food before lifting his eyes back up. “If I take one bite, will you all get off my back?”

He hates that those words just came out of his mouth. Even if it’s just a single bite, he doesn’t think his stomach will be happy with him. The idea of eating anything isn’t sitting well with him.

What else can he do, though? Just like with literally everything else, his brothers won’t stop bugging him until he caves in and does whatever they want.

The others exchange a look and Osomatsu shrugs. “Yeah, that should do it! Maybe after you take a bite you’ll realize how good it is and how hungry you are.”

Shit. Well, now he doesn’t really have a way out.

He takes as deep a breath as he feels he can, and collects a bite of food with his chopsticks. Although he isn’t sure how noticeable it is, it feels like his hand is shaking as he raises it to his lips.

Maybe it’s better to do it fast and get it over with. So, that’s what he does. The food in his chopsticks disappears in rapid time, and even though it feels like swallowing a spoonful of glue, he manages to get it down.

“Th-there,” he announces as he slams his chopsticks down. A hiccup squeaks out of him, followed by a fist pressed to his mouth, then he glares around the table at his brothers. “Ha… happy now? God, you guys are… you’re such… such…”

His stomach roils aggressively, almost like he’s just been punched in the gut. He cuts himself off with a loud, painful belch… and whines softly, because he knows what’s coming next. There’s no possible way he can stop it, nor can he get up fast enough to make it to the bathroom.

He tries to clap his other hand over his mouth in some childish belief that if he just blocks the exit, so to speak, he won’t be sick. Predictably, it doesn’t work.

Only a second and a couple of retches later, Totty has vomited through his hands into his lap. It’s perhaps more than a little ironic that his attempt to avoid lectures and feeling shameful has led to something incredibly humiliating.

The tears well up almost immediately, and it doesn’t take long for him to be sitting here coughing, not quite knowing what to do except cry.

“A-ah, Totty!!” Someone’s up from their seat, grabbing him gently by the shoulders. It sounds like Choromatsu, he thinks. “Hey… hey, it’s okay. O-oh, no, no, guys, it’s okay ― yeah, Mom, Dad, it’s fine, I-I’ve got him. Totty, hey, c’mon. I’m gonna help you to the bathroom and we’ll get you cleaned up. Okay?”

All he can do is nod, and it seems like even the fact that he leans against Choromatsu, all streaked with puke, doesn’t bother his brother.

It’s a short walk to the bathroom. He thinks he hears one of the others getting up to clean whatever mess he’s left behind. He just concerns himself with getting into the bathroom, then with lifting his arms when told so Choromatsu can help peel the soiled clothes off.

“It’s okay, Totty. E-everything’s alright.” His voice is low and gentle as he manages to also get Totty’s pants off, hanging everything over the side of the bathtub. If he’s lucky, one of the others will come rinse them off so they can go right in the wash while he tries to take care of getting Totty situated on the couch or something. “I’m gonna take care of you. You just cry as much as you need to, as long as you cooperate with me, okay?”

Totty sniffles, doing his best to stop crying. This is so embarrassing. “O-okay…”

Eventually the crying tapers off a bit, to the point that he can breathe normally again. His mouth has a bad taste and his throat hurts; at least his stomach feels a lot better, though. He’s just so mortified that he threw up on himself in front of his entire family after trying to save himself from this fate.

What did you think was gonna happen when you ate something else after already being stuffed and nauseous, dummy?? His mind is exactly no help at all, unfortunately.

Choromatsu is careful as he tries to get his little brother cleaned. As soon as all his dirty clothes are off, he wipes a wet cloth over Totty’s mouth to wash off any remnants of vomit and helps Totty wash his hands in the sink. He holds a couple pieces of toilet paper over Totty’s nose so he can blow, which makes him feel slightly less gross.

Once there’s no more danger of new clothes having leftover puke dripped on them, he darts out to the closet in the other room and comes back with a pair of Totty’s pajamas. It feels somuch better to be in fresh clothes after Choromatsu gingerly tugs them on.

With all of that done, Choromatsu sets a hand against Totty’s forehead and gives a contemplative hum. “Well, you don’t feel warm… you might still be coming down with something, though. I think maybe you should just go right to bed. We’ll get you settled on the couch in the other room so that hopefully the rest of us don’t catch it, and I’ll get you some ginger ale or something, okay?”

The idea of all that sounds nice, sure. He feels a little guilty for not being honest, however, so… “Um, Choromatsu-nii-san… I-I’m not… I’m not sick. I… I think I ate too much today, and… that bite I took out there was just kind of… th-the last straw, you know?”

Choromatsu frowns. “You ate too much? You said you were really hungry when you got home. And all I remember seeing you eat was my Big Katsu and some of the chips.”

“I ate a lot more than that,” he confesses, rubbing at his teary eyes. “There was some stuff I had while I was at work, a-and… and I was the one who ate the last of the takoyaki. I was just going through the fridge and the cupboards for a while before you walked in.”

“Oh… okay, I get that. Why didn’t you just tell us you overate today instead of forcing yourself to eat?”

More tears bubble up and start rolling down his cheeks. “B-because… because I thought if I did, you’d all just lecture me and tell me, ‘Oh, you shouldn’t do that, Totty!’ The day was so bad already…”

The more he talks, the more tears fall. “It was just one thing a-after another! Work was shitty, everything that could go wrong did,and I didn’t want you guys harping on me! I-I know I fucked up eating a lot, but doing it just… made me feel better for a minute… like the day wasn’t so crappy, like I could pretend everything was okay because I was eating something good. So I just… d-didn’t wanna tell you guys… I-I know you’d say it’s bad for me…”

Quietly, Choromatsu pulls Totty up off the toilet and into a hug. His hand rubs calmingly between his little brother’s shoulder blades, shortly after switching to a series of pats. “Hey, you learned your lesson. I know you think we’d give you some big speech… and maybe you’re not wrong. But I’m sorry it felt like you had to hide it and suffer on your own. That’s not what we want! We just wanna take care of you. If we lecture like that, it’s just because we love you.”

“I-I know,” Totty mumbles into Choromatsu’s shoulder. “Are you… are you mad at me? For doing it in the first place and for not telling you?”

“Mad? No! No, no, no way. I’m not mad!” Choromatsu presses a brief kiss to the top of Totty’s head. “You’re my baby brother. How could I be mad at you for this? Just… you know… next time, come talk to us instead of going to the food. I’d rather listen to you complain for hours than have you eat yourself sick.”

He gives a cautious squeeze, somewhat reassured when Totty squeezes back. They stay like this for a few minutes, with Totty burying his face against Choromatsu’s shoulder and Choromatsu rubbing Totty’s back.

Finally Choromatsu lets out a sigh. “Just so you know… even if we lecture you a little, we’ll still try to take care of you if there’s anything we can do. But we’ll… also do our best not to lecture as much when you come to us. Do you feel any better?”

“Yeah… it doesn’t hurt that much anymore.” He mirrors the sigh and just sinks into his big brother’s embrace. “Can I still go lie down, though? In the futon?”

Choromatsu nods and pulls Totty up when he gets to his feet. “Yeah, of course. That’s probably a good idea even though you’re not really sick.”

“And… can I still have some ginger ale?”

“Yeah, I’ll get that for you after we get you settled.”

Totty is silent for a few seconds while they walk down the hall, then he speaks up again. “… Will you maybe stay and cuddle with me for a minute, too? Even though I’m not sick?”

Choromatsu glances down before chuckling. Does he really think he has to tack on that condition, as if Choromatsu won’t cuddle just because Totty isn’t actually sick? “I… o-of course, Totty. All you have to do is ask, even if you’re not sick.”

“Okay…” By this time they’ve reached the bedroom, so he stands aside while Choromatsu unrolls the futon. Before too long he’s lying down, and Choromatsu has both arms around him, gently stroking his hair.

He closes his eyes and nuzzles against his brother. “Thank you… you’re the best nii-chan ever.”

He can feel Choromatsu grinning. “Am I even better than leftover takoyaki?”

Totty pouts at the jab, but snuggles closer regardless. “Way better.”

[diredove]

Curious Fool

My first time attempting to write anything longer than headcanons, please note I’m going off of this AU! I’m in love with Crowley so I see this as an x reader story, but it can easily be interpreted as something else!

Warnings: Very Mild cursing, Crowley being scary (as in, threatening and a hand squeezing a throat), Me grasping at straws to make Potentially Evil!Dire make sense! Gender Neutral Reader as well!

You wondered about Dire Crowley more than you would like to admit. He was an enigma that your brain for some reason was terribly invested in solving. It started small, maybe because you were holding back your suspicion out of guilt, the man had given you a roof over your head and food to eat in this strange new world, surely he deserved better than you concocting conspiracy theories about him? But gratitude should not inspire stupidity in someone, and it didn't inspire in you.

Why exactly was he being so gracious? For all the pretty words he spoke to you, he certainly didn't act guilty. Every sympathy he offered to your plight felt like it was meant to silence you, "Shush, no more of that." he seemed to whisper between the lines. Yes, it was all too bad you were stuck in a world not your own and that poor, poor Crowley was working himself to the bone to find a way back for you to no avail, but what would you have him do? He's already being so kind.

And that was another thing, wasn't it? He wasn't all that kind at all, or if he was it was only in a backhanded way. Wasn't he just the sweetest thing alive for giving you a place to stay? As if you weren't breaking your damn back every single night sleeping on the couch of the teacher's lounge and waking to the racket of your dearest headmaster starting up that monstrous coffee maker at the crack of dawn each morning! Well, what about the food you were provided every single meal time? Quite generous, he'd say. And you would beg to differ because you had a diet of convenience store sandwiches and children's snacks and sodas! Everything you ate was from Sam's shop and didn't cost that old crow a dime!

And maybe, just maybe, you would have been more understanding and grateful for it given your circumstances, if Dire Crowley wasn't absolutely loaded. He could easily afford to buy you actual meals, put you up some place that wasn't a glorified common room, pay you! But for all his guilt and graciousness, he didn't. It felt like he was trying to trick into being grateful to him when he hadn't actually done anything for you to be grateful for, in the grand scheme of things.

But that's not all. If that had been it then you could have convinced yourself you were being dramatic and gone on with your topsy turvy little life. But no, Dire Crowley simply would not let you rest (on a proper bed or otherwise).

Why did he act like that? You were not someone to turn your nose up at an odd personality, considering how well you were handling being in a potential alternate universe, one might say you have one yourself. But there was just something... off about him. He always seemed a bit too happy, he laughed just a tad too hard, his stares were too intense, he went silent after whatever spiel he'd been on so quick you'd think he had a switch inside him. Alone, those were just the quirks of being human (though you didn't even know enough to call him that either), but they stacked up quickly.

And you had really fought with yourself on this, worried you were being prejudice against him out of paranoia, but then you saw him get angry.

Everyone gets angry, everyone yells sometimes, it's a fact of life and you're an adult who can accept that. But seeing the headmaster shift from harmless eccentric man to inflicting backbreaking labor on teenagers who didn't get to explain themselves at all was rather... jarring to say the least. He yelled in his oddly charming accent and his mask hid whatever anger would have shown on his face, and maybe you were being overprotective of the young ones and forgetting that that type of punishment was far more manageable in a world of magic. But you couldn't shake the feeling that he was holding back, like he was seconds away from sounding like a different person beneath the quirky act. Like a parent putting on a goofy voice to scold their child to keep themselves from letting their frustration show.

But, and maybe you're just dense from here on, all that did was make you squint a little. There was just as much of a chance of him putting up a front as there was of you misunderstanding things and reaching too far. But the seed had been planted, and now you were curious.

So, instead of coming up with crazy ideas you had no backing for, you thought: "Let's just ask."

Not Dire, of course, as if he would tell you the truth or appreciate you prodding him. Thankfully though, there were people close to him that you could interrogate instead.

And then you started hitting walls, thick ones.

"What's Dire's deal?" Seemed like a pretty clear question, so why was every single answer you got so convoluted?

Sam had tried to act unbothered, but you saw how his hand froze as he stocked the shelves of the Mystery Shop. He looked at you with his bright smile and waved his free had dismissively.

"He's something alright, I'll give him that! He's an odd one, I guess you could say! What's with the interest, Starlight?" He answered, though a question for a question hardly satisfied you.

Crewel had outright ignored you, even after you had repeated your question several times he kept maneuvering around you and acting like he was busy. He absolutely wasn't, he had moved the same four beakers back and forth between lab tables three times. Once he realized you weren't going to take his hint and scram, he looked down his nose at you as if you had ruined his entire week.

"You know, puppies that never stop yapping are troublesome. But do you know what's even more troublesome, Little Scamp? Puppies that sniff around where they don't belong. You'd do well to train yourself out of that habit, and quickly." He'd told you coldly, which shocked you into a stupor because you had thought him overzealous but friendly just moments before.

You had hoped Trein, with his unflappability and no nonsense policy, wouldn't beat around the bush and would be the one to change your luck so far. Instead, he averted his eyes and cleared his throat uncomfortably. He seemed to be taking extra care to choose his words, as though they were fragile as glass slippers. Even Lucius looked still in his arms.

"He is a man, as am I, nothing more and nothing less. It is best to leave it at that, My Dear." He implored you gently, you couldn't help but feel this was as close to a plea as the stoic man would ever get. Lucius stared at you unblinkingly, as if trying to determine your answer through your eyes alone.

You hoped the cat couldn't actually tell, because your answer was no.

You still had one more shot. Vargas was loud and a bit much at times, but his love of his own voice would work in your favor. However, you had learned from your mistakes and decided getting straight to the point wasn't in your best interest. If everyone wanted to play with you, it was only right to join the game.

"Please, tell me more about your school days, Ashton! Were you really the star of the Magic Shift team?" You asked in an awed tone, eyes wide.

The coach was eating it up like it was his last meal, you had been stroking the man's ego for over two hours already and if he tells you about the goal that turned the playoffs around one more time you think you'll snap. But his defenses are down, and his lips are loose, so you'll grin and bare just a little longer.

"That's right! I was king of NRC, undisputed! There wasn't a soul on campus who didn't want to be mine!" The man boasted, "Well, except for Beth. She wasn't all there though, not that I cared! She wasn't all that, I'm not bitter about it!"

He's definitely bitter about it, but you don't have time to unpack that when your opening is right in front of you.

"Right right, I totally get it. Hey, speaking of the past, when did you meet Crowley?"

Okay, you lied. There wasn't an opening at all, you burst in with a sledgehammer. But your cutesy act was getting hard to keep up!

Vargas takes the sloppy bait though, " Oh, that guy? He just kinda popped up and offered me a job to be honest. The pays good, so I deal with the old coot being a weirdo."

You have to stop yourself from lighting up, "Weirdo?" You question dumbly, finger on your chin and all.

Vargas looks both ways and then gestures for you to come closer, you can't tell if he's being playful or not with that glint in his eyes.

"Look, don't tell anyone I told you this, okay Dolly? Crowley's got some crazy going on around here, I swear. I don't know details but I've got suspicions." The coach whispers, you nod eagerly for him to continue.

"There's this... room. I don't know what's in it, it's always locked and not even the staff master key opens it. He goes in there every Friday, and I don't see him come out, he just appears again Monday morning. There's this bright light that shines under the door whenever he goes in, and after a few seconds, it stops." Ashton explains, and it's more than you had hoped for.

Creepy locked room, disappearing act, unexplained happenings? This is exactly the dirt you've been looking for!

"He thinks he's being sneaky about it, but I caught on, see? I was following him to ask about a some paperwork and I saw it. I know somethings up, Crowley is up to no good and I don't care how crazy I sound." Ashton stresses, as he goes on he seems more serious, you can't take time to be happy about your findings because he looks so pale.

"Vargas, are you oka-"

"Listen Dolly, I know you're curious, but you don't want nothing to do with this and neither do I. Freaky shit is going down, and if you're smart like me you'll act like you don't know a thing."

You stare at him. H-Had he been on to you the whole time?

"I'm trying to help you, stay away from the west wing and don't-" He stops. His eyes are on something behind you.

"V-Vargas?" You call, shakily.

"I've said enough. Stay outta the west wing, Doll. For your own good."

You don't stay out of the west wing.

In fact, you deliberately seek it out. Ace gives you a funny look when you ask him, but he points you in the right direction anyway. You wish you were more embarrassed about being a member of staff asking students for directions, but you've got bigger fish to fry.

You know this isn't smart, no matter how harmless the headmaster may seem, no one likes being found out. But your life is in his golden-clawed hands and you'd feel even less smart following him blindly and hoping you're safe with him.

The west wing isn't what you expected (though to be fair you had been expecting a torture chamber), it's an entirely normal hall like all the others in school. It's so mundane your face falls. There's also no way to tell if anything is amiss from a glance alone, so you'll have to use less tact than you were hoping to. Making your way down the hall you turn each knob one by one to see which won't turn.

After about twenty or so doors, curse the long hallways in this college, you see one that's quite out of place. It's at the very end of the hall, how cliché, and while it is the same size and color as all the others, it's surrounded with a ridiculous number of portraits. There are big ones above the doorframe and little ones squeezed into the narrow spaces along the sides of it, and if that wasn't enough, the ones that wouldn't fit in either spot were enchanted to float nearby. And the portraits themselves are nothing like the silly but sweet ones that gossip as they watch over everyone who passes in the main building, these are painted with snarls and angered eyes. Both human and nonhuman beings are depicted, each one staring straight at whomever would stand in front of the door. Their eyes seem to be looking in every direction at once even though their pupils are painted straight ahead, it feels like they can see everything without shifting their gaze. You can't even tell if they're alive like the others, they're so... cold.

You take a deep breath, that must be it. You've come to this far, and you'd planned everything so carefully there was no reason to be afraid. The students were having Magift practice today, so that meant Vargas was busy, but it also meant that Crowley was doing his rounds and would stop to "give the players some good old fashioned encouragement ". He would go on forever, there was plenty of time for you to investigate and cover your tracks before he ever even wondered where you were.

You could admit the only person you were convincing was yourself, but it helped you forced your legs to move toward the end of the hall. Even as you walked closer, you knew you shouldn't, the air around you seemed like it was trying to force you back, oppressively pushing you with every step you took towards that door. You wouldn't be able to open it, Ashton had told you already, what exactly were you gaining, being stared down by the lifelike yet lifeless portraits as you neared the door? Nothing, and yet your hand grabbed the knob impulsively, you hadn't realized you'd been holding your breath until it left your lungs in a rush at the touch of icy cold iron in your clammy grip.

You shouldn't have touched it, you shouldn't have, now what? Your plan was to turn back after your curiosity was sated, but you couldn't. The force that was pushing back against you before was now pulling you forward, beckoning you. The portraits no longer looked like a warning, but an invitation. You've come so far, now come a little closer, something that wasn't a voice nor a thought breathed around you.

You twist the doorknob, like a fool.

It turns.

Your heart leaps with excitement and fear, and you feel a surge of adrenaline run through your body. You can go in, you can go farther!

You feel yourself smiling widely even though you're sure you're not happy, you go to push the door open just a little further.

You stop as four pinpricks upon your throat flare with pain, your eyes go wide like a deer and you freeze.

"Crewel was right, you're truly nothing but trouble."

The voice sounds familiar, and yet nothing like the person it belongs to. But you'd know those gold-tipped fingers anywhere.

"I really am getting on in years, to make such a mistake." Dire sighs, his voice does not lilt and his tone is low. He sounds like an actor who's given up on staying in character.

You catch a whimper in your throat when the hand upon it slides up the front of your neck to grip under your chin and rear you head back at a terrible angle. You meet the dead-eyed gaze of Crowley's mask as he looks straight down at you.

"But you've made an even bigger mistake, Youngling, by testing me."

You want to apologize, or plead for your safety, because the man looming over you is not the one you've grown reluctantly fond of. But because we have established that you are a fool, you say instead:

"Your vest is a mistake. There's sequins on it." You snark weakly, you sound pathetic, half because of the grade school insult and half because you're gasping for breath.

Dire stares down at you blankly. Then he grins, not his usual one full of jolly cheer, but a wide toothy one that is just a few degrees off from a sneer.

"Oh, you really think you're just the cutest little thing under the sun, don't you?" He asks, he chuckles halfway through but it's dry and dark.

Why are you so foolish, why do you speak?

Abruptly, the pressure points on your neck are released and you fall to your knees, gulping sweet sweet air.

"Well you're right! You're just adorable, thinking you could catch me out!" Dire shouts cheerfully, hands on his hips and accent back in full swing. His façade is back in place like it was never gone.

You stare in disbelief.

"You know, anyone else would have to be put under a curse of eternal silence for snooping around like you did." He continues, "But I am so very kind, I'm going to let you walk out of here without laying a finger on you."

You shakily get to your feet, leaning against the wall for support and as something to curl in on to cower from the overly happy man before you.

He stares at you smiling for many moments too long, you know he's trying to scare you and you're angry at yourself for being so. Abruptly, he nods.

"I'll be off then, I'm sure you get the message? Of course you do! Make your way back to your room then, off you get! Goodbye!"

The man walks away quickly, waving his hand in farewell.

He left you without a fight, with the door left unlocked and you still in position to reveal what was on the other side. You balk at the obvious show of his power over you.

He knew you were too terrified now, he knew you would obey him like a dog told to stay, the smug bastard.

You bite your lip in frustration and confused tears fill your eyes. You just want to know what's going on, you just want to go home! Nothing makes sense.

You look at the door that's slightly ajar.

Then at the exit of the west wing across the long hall.

You can no longer hear Crowley's footsteps.

And because you are a fool, and because you are defiant, and because you want some semblance of control, you make a mad dash through the door before you can change your mind.

[dokifluffs]

Comforting their Bullied S/O | Yamaguchi, Suga, Akaashi

Pairirng: Yamaguchi X Reader (gender neutral), Suga X Reader (gender neutral), and Akaashi X Reader (gender neutral)

Genre: angst to fluff 🥺👉👈

Request: “Are requests open? I would like to request hcs for Yams, Suga and Akaashi. How would they comfort their s/o if they were to get bullied. Thank you in advance!” - anonnie

Author’s Note: Indeedy requests are open~ Awww this is so cute and this was so fun to write 😊 Also here’s third year akaashi 🥺🥺 

Warnings: name calling (suga), insults (akaashi) , embarrassment (yamaguchi) ((note: these are the things in their hcs, not what they do or say to y/n)) 

Yamaguchi: 

“Y/N, let’s eat” Yamaguchi’s voice was gentle and a little excited as he stood in the doorway of your classroom, looking to your empty seat as the halls behind him filled with kids rushing to the cafeteria

“Excuse me, do you know where Y/N went?” He asked one of your friends, approaching them as they opened up and ate their own bentos at their desk

“Oh, they ran off when the bell rang..” one spoke, paused from her eating. He didn’t miss how everyone else around had a sad look as they looked down to their bentos

“Do- do you know where they went?” He asked, curious since you didn’t tell him anything new or different about lunch. He remembered distinctly you telling him that the two of you should eat together today last night

“We’re not so sure but they seemed pretty sad... I mean I know I would be too if senses outed me like that,” another spoke, stuffing his mouth with a spoonful of rice

“Ah, thank you, enjoy your meals,” he said as he left your classroom. He didn’t really know where to look and instead went to the spot the two of you usually ate together at

Snow slowly fell outside, the clouds gray and bits of snow sticking here and there as he walked down the hall toward the stairwell

Pushing the door open, the sound echoed around the tall, spacious place. The area cold since it was in the corner of the school

Before he could leave, he heard the slightest sound that caught his ear. Walking around the corner to the stairs, he saw you

You sat curled up with your hands linked together below your legs, folded up to your chest. Your eyes were red and teary as you sniffled, your head resting on one knee, squishing your cheek

“Y/N, what happened?” Yamaguchi forgot about the cold, taking a step up towards you, one half holding the railing while the other held his dangling bento. “How come you weren’t in the classroom?”

You turned in your seat, making space for him on the step to which he sat himself beside you, his undivided attention unwavering

You reached into your uniform pocket and took out the crumpled wad of paper, handing it to him

He unfolded it, seeing it was a mock everyone in your guys’ year recently took. Apparently, the curve was harder than the previous years

He saw the red marks made by your teachers hand but it made him curious since he referred back to what your friend had said before he left

“I feel... so dumb,” your voice weak. You took the test and crumpled it back into a ball, putting it beside you. You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at it. “I wanna go home, tadashi,” you said dejectedly, resting your head on his shoulder

“Can I ask what happened in class?” He treaded carefully

It honestly hurt to think back to not too long ago. The sickening embarrassment rose back up in your chest

“When we got our tests back, sensei purposefully gave mine back last. He held it up for the class to see saying that this was a perfect example of what not to do on a test,” you sobbed

He couldn’t believe what he heard

“I honestly thought I did pretty okay... I felt good about it afterwards,” you used your sleeve to wipe your nose. “But I guess I was wrong,” you sighed

Yamaguchi empathized with you, however. The two of you studied before his practice and even over the weekend, diligently reviewing. He felt good about his test too but unfortunately for quite a handful wrong

There just wasn’t as many marked wrong on his compared to yours but he would never say that. It was the last thing you needed

“You’re not dumb and what sensei did was wrong of him. Everyone’s talking about how hard the test was... even I found it hard..” he scratched the back of his head, laughing just a little to lighten the atmosphere

“Really?” You peered over to him, eyes big

“Really. And this was just a mock too- let’s study and work even harder together and prove sensei wrong.” He took your hand in his, surprised at how cold it was

“You’ll do a lot better next time, I know you will. We both will,” he leaned his head down to find your eyes, showing you a kind smile, one that warmed you up in this cold cold world

“But let’s go somewhere warmer,” he offered, standing up, leading you out of the cold stairwell. But little did he know that you were always warm enough with him

Suga: 

You bit your lip hard, biting back the tears but your eyes couldn’t stop watering up every single time you could hear their voices in your mind

You never did anything to them so why did they target you? How did they enjoy hurting someone’s feelings on purpose?

The old supply/ janitor closet was dark, dusty, and cold, a single dim lightbulb hanging and shining in the center of the room but you paid no mind finding comfort in the dark. It had a musty smell to it but you never paid mind to it if it meant solitude

The room itself was small, even smaller with the old metal shelves leaned up against two of the four walls in a corner, old basketballs and deflated soccer balls, cobwebbed cones sitting on the dusty shelves

You sat in the corner that connected the two shelves, sat next to, practically behind, an old rolled up gymnastic mat that was discarded in here due to rips and tears in the material

It was able to hide the red flush in your cheeks, your slightly runny nose and your tear filled eyes

You sat on the ground, playing with a ping pong ball that was left out by accident long ago, bouncing it on the concrete floor, the sound of it echoing

Beyond the door, you could hear the sounds of the volleyball poles used to hold the bet up being lifted from the posts they stood in, the chatter of the team as approached

You knew they carried the poles to the other closet, the cleaner and bigger one for all gym and sports equipment so you didn’t panic or anything hearing their steps approach

However, this all changed when the old doorknob jiggled, shadows of someone’s feet visible beneath the crack of the door

You scooted back into the corner, bringing your legs in as much as you could to hide yourself, not wanting to be seen or to have your little place discovered

“Y/N?” Suga’s honey voice called out to you as he stepped in, closing the door behind him. “Are you in here?”

It had completely slipped your mind that you stayed after school for your own club activities and planned to stay a bit longer to walk home with suga but then you bumped into them

They were quick to spot you and begin to nit pick things about you- the way you looked, dressed, spoke but you never understood why. They were always ones to tease and push your buttons in class, acting all friendly whenever any teacher passed by. They even brought up your relationship with suga

With a burning ache in your heart, a wound they constantly prodded their fingers at, you naturally came to what you deemed your little closet after you discovered it one day, trying to get away from reality

It was small and unlocked and nowhere near the heart of the school since it was by the gym which was perfect. It was your safe place at school

“I’m here,” your croaked, tossing your ping pong out to the old counter with the sink across from you. The ball bounced back to you and it wasn’t long until suga sat down beside you

You kept your eyes down on your lap, pretending to focus and stare at the off-white plastic ball in your hands, rolling it about

“Are you okay?” He asked, sitting himself in the slim space between you and the metal shelf. “I saw you come in earlier and you haven’t come out since...”

“Yeah,” You lied, making your voice sound as natural as you could but of course it cracked just a little at the end, keeping your eyes down

“Are you really?” His voice was so gentle with you, he was always so kind... their words rang into your mind once again, their words etched deep. Why was he with you?

“Who would want to be with a loser like you?” They asked, making you feel bitter and worthless

You shook your head, your vision blurred until you felt the weight of a tear drip from your eye onto your hand with a little splat sound. Your words were caught in your throat, unable to speak. He knew exactly what group did this to you yet they never had the guts to say it while he was around or beside you

Suga didn’t say anything either but instead brought his arms around you, his hand on your head to bring you closer to him. He spread his legs and sat himself around you, holding you close as he hummed softly

“Don’t listen to them.. no matter what they say, it isn’t true,” his voice just above a whisper but it was enough to go into your ears, his hand rubbing down your arm.

“But what if it is?” You sobbed, your knitted together in worry as you looked up to him, even catching him off guard. “What if what they said was true?.... that you don’t actually want to be with me..” it hurt to say out loud

“Ow,” you brought your hand to your forehead, looking back up to suga who had softly flicked you

“They’re wrong. I’m with you because I care about you and there’s nothing about you that would make me leave since you’re the reason I want to stay,” he huffed a little

“Don’t cry,” he spoke a moment later, using the back of his club sweater to wipe your tears away. “Let’s go get a snack and take a long walk home, okay?” He flashed his signature smile to you, holding your hands happily in his 

Akaashi: ft. bokuto 😗

The sky was getting darker and darker, clouds heavy, ready to split at any second, sending a heavy downpour all over the land

Winds blew strongly, making the branches sway, pulling off leaves, sending them rolling all over

From what you could see as you sat below one not too far from the water station of the volleyball camp, you could see the winds turning the leaves showing their pale undersides

Rumbles of thunder sounded in the distance, the humid wind blowing in your ears

You sniffled to yourself, picking at the grass around you, your back pressed against the bark of the large tree

You looked down to your hands, looking at your taped fingers but it only made you sadder making you feel like you were sinking deeper and deeper into your own little pit

“What happened?” Akaashi’s subtle voice was soft. You didn’t even hear his steps but it was most likely due to the wind

He sat beside you, offering a drink from his bottle but you declined

You let go of the stray pieces of grass, watching as they flew away and disappeared into the taller grasses that danced with the wind, creating a wave effect

“F/N said you went to get water but you haven’t come back since”

“Do...” you tried to gather your words, pushing through. “Do you think I made a mistake? Choosing to play volleyball?”

“No, why would I?” But then he put the pieces together. You had told him about a few girls on your team who you overheard doubting your skills as a setter

He was aware of your insecurities since you were a manager your first year and last year you rode the bench but now that you two were third years, it meant you were going to play

It made you nervous. The slightest mistake crushed you from the inside out. He could imagine what it felt like to hear such discouraging things from your teammates

“They-“ You hiccuped, the heat of the emotional pain you felt rushing up your back. “They told me I should have never made the team. They called me useless...”

you sat cross legged beside Akaashi, fidgeting with your fingers, your hair getting caught up in your face, strands getting into your eyes cause of the wind

“You literally make it so much harder to hit the ball since you can’t even get under the ball in time. We might as well have a ds (defensive specialist aka a passer) give us bump sets instead of the doubles you give us,” one mocked to which everyone else agreed and laughed

A team wasn’t supposed to feel like this...

“Maybe they were right... it’s not too late for me to just manage boys anyways...” you shook your head, even breaking into a smile with no happiness behind it

“You’re an exceptional player, y/n. I’ve seen it.” He did his best to clear your hair from your eyes. “Bokuto has mentioned it numerous times, too.” He did his best to ease your doubts. Akaashi wasn’t fond of your “teammates”

“We both know what you’re like once you’re in the zone.” The image of you setting for bokuto whenever you had spare time and paid them a visit at their practices last year came to mind. “You know it better than anyone else. Give yourself some time and loosen up.” He rested his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it

“Prove to them how wrong they are, because they are.” He leaned down to find your eyes, giving you a reassuring smile

“We should also head back in,” he mentioned seeing flashes of lightning, cracks of thunder even louder than moments ago, the storm closer than ever. “Someone’s waiting for you,” he held your hand as the two of you walked back

“Who?” You wiped away remnants of your sadness

“Hey, hey, hey, Y/N!” Bokuto’s voice boomed as soon as the two of you stepped through the gym. He came over to there if you in no time, meeting you at the edge of the court

He was dressed in his own light blue practice shirt and white shorts, wearing his extended knee pads as if he was a third year practicing once again

“Toss for me!” His eyes sparkled as he rubbed your head. “I love your fosses, no offense, Akaashi”

“I- I don’t know...” you hesitated feeling the eyes of your teammates on you, whispering to each other on the court beside the one Fukurodani was occupying

“Training ended for the day so technically, it’s free time. Come on, toss for me so I can show these third years what an ace really is,” he said excitedly

But before you could say anything, he was already holding your wrist, leading you to the court as he gestured to his “the way of the ace” shirt

Looking back to Akaashi, all he could do was give you a kind smile, unable to really say otherwise since Bokuto had repeatedly talked to him about seeing you play

As Bokuto stretched out his arms on he side, you warmed up your fingers

“Don’t be nervous. Show them what you can do, Y/N. And this is Bokuto, you know exactly how he likes it,” Akaashi said quietly only to you. “You can do this.”

~~~~~ Thanks for reading! Masterlist for more! Please do not repost anywhere else!

Tags (send me an ask if you wanna be tagged for all my haikyuu posts): @yams046  @mazey-chan  @sunboikyo00  @kara-grayson04​  @fortheloveofbakugo​

[goldenkookietae]

The Book Fortress Tumbles

BTS One shot

Pairing: Boyfriend!Taehyung x reader

Word count: 3,643 words

Warnings: Smut, strong language, sir!kink, dom!tae, teeny tiny bit of angst

Summary: Your exams are starting soon and you’re beyond stressed. You’re trying not to let that show but it all comes bursting out when your boyfriend Taehyung tries to get you to relax. When you realise your mistake, the only thing you can do, is apologise to him. Just not with words.

A/N: My college just announced that our exams will be held starting from 18th September. That’s too less time to mug up the entirety of the semester syllabus. Sigh. This one shot is reflecting my current situation (minus a Taehyung and dedication towards exams). I accidentally posted this when it was half finished lol, I panicked all the time I was taking it down xD.

Disclaimer: This story is an AU fanfiction that I have created using the names of the members of BTS. I do not claim any ownership over the members of BTS. The plot and the personalities of the characters are entirely my own.

Do not plagiarize my work and do not repost.

 *

Moodboard

*I do not claim ownership over any of the pictures. They are credited to their original owners.

“Y/N~” Taehyung sang, skipping up to the study table, a pile of books hiding the person behind from view.

A faint “yes” was whispered softly from behind the walls of what seemed like a book fortress. Taehyung knew that the queen in this fort had probably not even looked up from her current preoccupation.

But somehow, as the “boyfriend”, he had a few special privileges. Somehow he could pull her to cuddle with him when  she had an exam the day next, somehow he could wake her up in the middle of the night and still get her to cook for him, somehow he could steal her ice cream after having his and get her to find him rather cute.

Okay, maybe the last two aren’t true. Those are the things I’d do for her. He thought. Either way, whatever the consequences might be, he felt deprived, almost jealous of bound pages and thick covers.

She had told him a month before, on a day that Taehyung now marked as a blue day in his life, that her exams were coming up and that she’d have to focus on her studies. That she’d have to give her attention to her text books instead of her handsome boyfriend. And the second her exams would be done, they could do whatever he pleased.

Oh, the many many things Taehyung had in mind for everything that pleased him. On top of the list was her name in bold, underlined, Y/N. Y/N had been scanning her books so intently throughout this whole month, it seemed as though she was studying the instructions to defuse a bomb that was seconds from exploding. He hardly saw her around the house, only between the times she came outside to refill her snack jar or water bottle or for her meals. It got to the point where she hadn’t even realised that Taehyung had shifted to her apartment and had been staying with her throughout.

It was funny because they’d share the same bed and wake up inside a warm blanket burrito. Even if she had realised, she hadn’t said a word and Taehyung was more than happy with that. Staying back at his place while she was like this was close to being on an entirely different planet with no forms of communication.

He had picked up a lot of hobbies to distract himself, he played more video games, ate a lot of food, tried cooking (which surprisingly went okay), cleaned her house to make sure she was always comfortable and sometimes worked overtime because everything else was simply boring. But at times when she hadn’t noticed he’d pursue another wonderful hobby. Since Y/N wasn’t really bothered about what Taehyung was up to, he unashamedly spent his time staring at her. She wasn’t even dressed to impress these days, putting on the first thing she reached in her cupboard before sitting down to study.

But she loved being comfortable. And Taehyung noticed how she’d always pick the shortest shorts she had, ones that barely covered the globe of her ass. He would’ve loved those clothes on her every damn day, only if he wasn’t restricted to staying a mile away so she could ‘focus’ and almost suffering from blue balls.

“Y/N~” he whined yet again, choosing to cross over to other side of the fort and poking the bookworm. His plan for the night was to at least get some attention. He had been deprived of it for more than a month, it had reached the point where he would be in an existential crisis from lack of affection.

He would respect all her restrictions, he was being so good at keeping his carnal desires at bay (even if his hand was no match), he hadn’t complained when she finished her food early and left him alone to eat his portion, and definitely didn’t bother her for falling asleep on top of her books. He somehow felt proud of being that boyfriend, the one who’d bring her meals and would carry her back to bed when she’d fallen asleep.

But he just hoped that this, whatever it was, probably a test from the gods, would soon come to an end. And that Y/N would then jump onto his lap and kiss the living daylights out of him to tell him that he passed with flying colours.

All he wanted was a little bit of cuddling that night. The exams were still a week away and she could spare that much for him, couldn’t she?

He poked her again. One last time. And when that earned him nothing more but hummed ‘yes’, he knew it had come down to war. He extended his hands to her waist, caressing the soft flesh before taking on a different turn.

“Taehyungie! Stop!” Y/N hollered, jerking so suddenly that the central defense of her fort broke and tumbled to the ground in all the glory of crumpled and dog eared pages.

All that didn’t bother Taehyung as he tickled her sides, not caring about the curses leaving her mouth at that instant. If he paid any attention, then it would definitely turn him hard.

He picked her up effortlessly, carrying her over to the bed and placing her down. He climbed on top of her slowly, licking his lips as his face leveled with hers.

“Let’s just cuddle for tonight Y/N. You’ve been overworking yourself and it’s okay to take some time off to relieve stress. Relax for today, okay?” Taehyung muttered soothingly, rubbing her arms to warm her skin.

“Or maybe we can do something else to relieve your stress?” He chuckled trying to lighten the passive expression on Y/N’s face but it only made it more poignant. Before he could say anything else, the anxiety all came onto Y/N at once, making her snap.

“Taehyung stop! This is not a joke. My entire career depends on these exams and you’re treating it like a joke! Stop it!” Y/N exclaimed and Taehyung went still. 

He knew she didn’t mean that and she knew that her career was as important to Taehyung as it was to her. He was looking out for her simply. She knew this too.

Sighing, Taehyung slid off her and stood next to the bed.

“Your career is important Y/N, I know that. It is to me too. But you’re taking too much pressure. You need a stress buster once in a while. Maybe this was not the best way and I’m sorry about that but maybe we can watch a movie tonight or-” Taehyung kept thinking of more things but Y/N cut him off.

“No. I am not under pressure. I do not need a stress buster. All I need to do is study and revise like I was already doing.” Y/N said as she looked at Taehyung pointedly, before sliding off the bed and sitting down at her desk.

“Alright. Let me know if you need anything.” Taehyung gulped. When she didn’t respond, he sighed and left the room as quietly as he could.

Y/N felt bad. When Taehyung had jumped onto her, all her focus flew out of her mind and she finally realised why she had been fidgety all week. Even when Taehyung had offered it to her on a silver platter, she’d refused like a total idiot and was now facing the consequences. From the corner of her eyes, she watched Taehyung through the slightly open door of her room. She could see him laying on the couch, his long legs spread out before him invitingly, his tongue sticking out and jaw flexing as he concentrated on playing the game.

As her eyes slid down, she focused on his hands, his long fingers working the joystick easily, the veins on his arms straining against his skin. Oh, she knew very well what all she wanted him to work with those fingers. The thought made her close her eyes and bite her lip, and she mindlessly clenched her thighs together.

She considered walking up to him right then, but the thought of coming back to him after she’d sent him away so strongly seemed too embarrassing. If that were to happen, Taehyung would never let go of the incident and would tease her about it forever.

In a desperate attempt to calm herself, she turned back to her books, revising topics again and again but still feeling as though she was reading them for the first time ever.  Her eyes slid over to her water bottle as she recited the words she’d just read to herself again.

Tae’s thicker than that. She thought looking over the bottle and imagining a different view in front of her.

“What are you doing, you idiot?” she whispered, realising that her hands were now around the bottle, and she was fisting it with a well known need. Sighing she stood up, knowing she had no choice.

She slipped out of her room, trying not to close the door too hard. Walking straight to her boyfriend, she stood in front of the TV, blocking his view while facing him.

Taehyung looked up at her in confusion, and frowned when the sound of his avatar dying echoed behind her. But as soon as Y/N slid to her knees before him, his lips twisted into a smirk. In a second he threw the joystick in his hand to the side and leaned back into the couch making himself comfortable and pushing his legs closer towards her.

When Y/N bit her lip and stared at him hungrily, he raised an eyebrow.

You just gonna sit there or do something? I’m waiting.

It was so easy to understand everything about him after they’d been together for so long and she didn’t want to disappoint him now. Quickly, her hands unbuttoned his skin tight jeans and unzipped them, while Taehyung simply snuggled deeper into the couch as though waiting for a show about to go down.

Well, something was going down alright. That thing being Y/N.

She struggled to pull off the jeans, huffing every time her strength wasn’t enough, and Taehyung made no effort to help her out. Normally, Taehyung would be praising her throughout, but at the moment her only reward was the delicious view of his thick thighs.

Without wasting a second, Y/N pulled his boxer briefs down to his knees, then to his ankles and her face narrowly missed getting hit by his cock. After more than a month of sexual frustration, her mouth drooled as she laid eyes on his thick, huge cock, veins straining against the length as it stood hard and proud. She was a fool, comparing a stupid water bottle to the masterpiece in front of her.

He was already hard, and Y/N thought he must have been for quite some time through the evening. She’d done that. And she must be the one to fix it.

“Go on darling, suck me off.” Taehyung murmured bringing his fingers to her chin for a moment, tilting her face up and then letting go.

“Yes, sir.” Y/N whispered before taking him into her mouth fully, too hasty and needy to tease him at that point. She flattened her tongue against the smooth skin of his cock, lathering it with her saliva and tasting the salty tang of his precum. As her mouth grew full, she took him as far as she could go, stopping before her gag reflex could hit her and then looking up at Taehyung.

“Fuck. You’re going to kill me with those eyes.” Taehyung grunted, biting his lip harshly and never taking his eyes off Y/N. The sight of her kneeling before him, her mouth full of his cock and her pretty eyes looking at him so innocently - it was too much. His hand raised above his head, gripping the top edge of the couch for support as his jaw slacked and eyes closed.

As he prepared to relax, his eyes snapped open when Y/N picked up speed suddenly and sucked him faster, bobbing her head up and down his length, using her hands to jerk him where she couldn’t take him into her mouth. His eyes threatened to close as hot pleasure shot through him, but he managed to keep them open and fixed them onto Y/N’s eyes. While she sucked him off, he could see the way her hands slid down her body, no doubt seeking for her own pleasure.

But Taehyung was having none of that.

“The only place your hands are allowed to be are on my cock. Understood babygirl?” He glared, and he was surprised that he managed to keep the tremble out of his voice.

Y/N let out something between a whine and a hum, making Taehyung’s eyes roll back into his head. Nevertheless, he felt her figure move and he knew she’d obeyed him.

Straining his eyes to open, he saw her holding her hands behind her back and sucking his cock like her life depended on it. He shifted his hand from his side to her hair, gripping the roots above her neck and momentarily pulling her off of his throbbing member.

“Use your words girl.” He growled, clutching onto her hair tighter and bringing her closer so the head of his cock touched her lips. Y/N let out a soft sigh at the pain, enjoying it more than she should.

“Yes, sir.” she gulped, and immediately Taehyung pushed her back onto him, using the grip on her hair to guide her downward till her nose brushed his skin. Y/N gagged and swallowed, and the sensation made Taehyung’s thighs clench in pleasure.

Y/N didn’t miss that, she kept swallowing and moaning, the soft vibrations of her mouth against his cock, making him climb higher and higher to the edge of his release. And when Taehyung felt her soft hands shift from behind her to massage his balls, his hips jerked and he knew he was close. With three long thrusts into her pretty mouth, Taehyung came with a loud grunt, shooting strings of white hot cum into Y/N’s mouth which she swallowed hungrily.

Taehyung laid there for a few minutes, taking deep breaths to normalise his thundering heart. He peeked open an eye to look at Y/N and groaned when he saw her sitting on her knees with her hands on her lap. So obedient.

He leaned forward and held her chin with his hands, tilting up her face and bringing it close to his. His cum glistened on her lips and the thin layer of sweat on her forehead made it look like her skin was glowing.

“That was a very nice apology, babygirl.” He cooed, pecking Y/N’s lips softly. With his thumb, he scooped up a drop of his cum that had dripped onto her chin and pushed it into her mouth, immediately feeling her tongue swirl around his finger.

“And that is forgiveness.” He muttered, cupping her neck and pressing his lips to hers, swiping his tongue against the soft flesh and tasting himself. For Taehyung, it had all been a plan to get attention, and he got more than he had asked for, but if Y/N couldn’t get her release then there was no point.

Y/N felt Taehyung’s hands slowly slide down her skin, coming to rest at her hips where he held her tight. As she deepened the kiss and pushed her tongue into his mouth, he pulled her up and placed her onto his thighs, his cock slipping against the thin material of her shorts.

Her mouth tipped open against his, and she pressed herself onto him, grinding up and down while Taehyung nipped at her skin. When Taehyung cupped her between her thighs she let out a strangled gasp. The sound had woken something primal in Taehyung and he growled against her skin, biting down on the skin above her breast.

It had been so long since they’d done anything together, so long since Y/N had touched herself, that she knew she wouldn’t be able to last long. Taehyung would get his hands on her clit and she’d fall apart and that’s exactly what she needed. More than she had imagined.

Stripping off their clothes was a hasty blur, their mouths never leaving each other’s skin, kissing, nipping, biting, licking and sucking. Taehyung’s hands slid down to Y/N’s now bare heat, groaning at how slick and wet Y/N was.

“You didn’t want to say no to me, did you babygirl? Look at how wet you are.” He murmured, pressing and circling his thumb on her clit making her whimper. She whimpered helplessly when he pushed one long finger into her making her cling to him for support. When his finger curled inside her, she felt a familiar knot of pleasure and she blushed, embarrassed that she was going to come as fast as the time she’d lost her virginity. Too damn fast. She hid her face in the crook of Taehyung’s shoulder, biting down on the tanned skin as his fingers pushed her towards the edge relentlessly.

As Taehyung continued finger fucking her, his mouth was occupied with her breasts, sucking them and littering the skin with deep purple marks.

“Cum for me, Y/N. Cum on my fingers. Fuck.” He rasped, his teeth pulling at her pebbled nipple and Y/N came all over his fingers, letting out a loud cry and clutching tighter onto his shoulders.

Y/N relaxed against Taehyung’s shoulders, sucking deep breaths to compensate for all the breath Taehyung had knocked out of her with his talented fingers. Taehyung kept his eyes on her heat, pulling his fingers out of her and dragging his tongue over them with a loud a moan.

“So sweet. I missed this.” Taehyung said softly, his eyes closing to savour her taste on his tongue, licking his fingers in a manner to leave no drop untasted.

Just when Y/N had opened her mouth to speak, she jolted in surprise when Taehyung’s cock slid into her, stretching her walls as he reached all the way till he bottomed out. His eyes slowly turned to her, hooded with lust and a glint in his eye that she knew all too well.

This is payback for surprising me earlier.

“Fuck, you’re so tight. You’re squeezing me.” Taehyung groaned, and Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut. She couldn’t comprehend words at that moment, her tongue tied with being sensitive and the way Taehyung was rocking his hips into hers.

“You’re still on birth control right?” Taheyung asked through gritted teeth, struggling to pause his movements before his mind spiraled out of control.

“Yes, just please, Tae-” Y/N whined, unable to finish her sentence as Taehyung pulled out and thrust into her. Sitting flush on his lap, Y/N could feel the length of his cock reach into her deeper than ever. With the little energy she had, she raised her hips and pushed herself back onto him at the exact moment that Taehyung thrust upwards.

“Tae!” she moaned, biting her lip so hard she drew blood, a hand coming up to squeeze her breast as the other clutched onto Taehyung’s thigh to make sure she wouldn’t fall off. Taehyung didn’t give her a second to breathe, setting a rhythm, driving deeper and harder into her each time. She knew it was all the built up tension over a month of inactivity and she wasn’t complaining even when her body shook with over stimulation.

Y/N eventually leaned into him, letting him guide her the way he wanted and she loved it. Gripping the soft flesh of her ass he made her ride him, driving her up and down on his cock and getting high on the sounds of their skins slapping together and the way Y/N’s tits bounced right in front of his face.

Despite her usual vocal self, Y/N felt her voice disappear, every word she tried to form dispersing into mewls and whimpers.

Touch me there. She tried to tell him, a moan and a curse leaving her mouth instead, making her frustrated with the building tension. She moved her hand in search of Taehyung’s, sighing almost immediately when his fingers were on her on her clit, rubbing and pinching the bundle of nerves.

Y/N’s orgasm crashed through her with high pitched moan, shattering any coherent sense left in her and numbing her senses where the only thing she felt was the hot seed that Taehyung had shot inside her, his groans muffled by the heavy daze of her mind. It was too much to handle.

“We’re out of practise.” She managed to whisper finally, her voice hoarse and tired. Taehyung chuckled at that, watching Y/N’s chest heave with every breath and syncing it to his own breathing. His thumb rubbed soothing circles onto her skin and he pressed a chaste kiss on her bare shoulder.

“Let’s get you cleaned up baby.” Taehyung murmured, softly carding his hands through Y/N’s hair. All the exhaustion she had been feeling caught up to her, what with the tension of qualifying her exams, of meeting everyone’s expectations and the intense overwhelming pleasure she had just experienced.

Her lids dropped slowly, the only thing keeping her awake being the soft brush of cloth against her skin which she assumed was Taehyung cleaning her up. When her back hit the soft mattress and Taehyung’s warmth pressed against her skin, she could barely keep herself from crashing into sleep.

“Sleep Y/N.” Taehyung whispered against her hair, kissing her temple softly and pulling her to him. “Stop making me worry all the time. And don’t you worry either. You’ll do great. And you’ll make us all proud.” He finished, pressing more kisses against her hair and pulling her closer into his chest.

“I love you.”

With those words of reassurance, Y/N smiled just before she drifted off to sleep.

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[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

K so for an angsty headcanon thing, I was wonderin if you'd write something where reader is in a relationship with the boys and overhears a conversation where they say the were using her for food, but like she didn't hear the part where they say they changed their minds. If you don't want to thats chill tho, just wanted to ask cause I love your writing x

Oh god I love me some angst. Here you go babs, I hope you enjoy!! (Also, rip this turned more into a fic I hope you don't mind)

If That’s How You See Me (Poly!Lost Boys x Fem!Reader) fic

Warning: angst, slight smut

You had been dating the boys for a few months now. You knew what they were, as they hadn’t actually tried to hide it from you. They’d told you almost immediately, and, while it took some time to get used to, you’d accepted it pretty gracefully. After a little over a month, you’d even let them start feeding off of you.

They only ever took a little. Well, compared to their usual meals. They each had their place that they liked to bite, and you had learned to wear long sleeves and high collars to prevent their marks from showing. David always went for your neck. He would hold the other side of your throat, and thumb your jugular lightly as he drank. Marko would almost always go for your wrist. He liked to be able to look into your eyes as he drank, and he’d wipe his mouth and chin so he could quickly press his lips against yours. It never failed to make him aroused, and you barely minded. Dwayne would bite your shoulder. He was always the most careful, and he’d only drink from you during your most intimate moments. It’d never fail to make him groan and still, and he’d hold you so close that you’d think he was trying to meld you two together. Paul, being the cheeky little bastard he was, always bit the inside of your thigh. He’d do it whenever he ate you out, and he’d always treasure the small yelp of surprise you made each time. You swore that he purposely chose the moment when you were most relaxed to tear into your flesh. As soon as he was done, he’d dive back down and finish you off.

You’d settled into a comfortable routine with them. You’d meet them at the boardwalk, hang out for a bit, and then you’d go back to the cave. You’d get some alone time with them, and then one of them would drive you home. You never had to see them feed, and they assured you that it helped their cravings. Even if it was just a little bit.

But you’d had a particularly bad day, and you wanted to skip the boardwalk and go straight to cuddling them. You wanted Marko to hold you close and kiss your nose, for Paul to make you laugh, for Dwayne to be your silent shoulder to cry on, and for David to tell you that everything would be fine. The sun had only set only a little bit less than a half hour ago, and you knew they would still be groggy. Their senses probably wouldn’t be at their highest, but you didn’t want to aggravate them by making a lot of noise. So, you climbed into the cave as quietly as possible to not disturb them. To your surprise, you found that they were awake already. You were just outside the mouth of the cave when you heard their voices clear as day, and you realized they were talking about you. You paused. You knew you should announce yourself. Make your presence known. But when else would you ever get to hear their true thoughts about you? So, you stopped and you listened.

“-great fuck. God, and those legs?” It was Pauls voice first, and you smiled to yourself. So far, only good things, even if they were mostly just sexual. You knew you shouldn’t have expected much else. At least you knew that they thought you were good in bed. Markos voice continued,

“She’s such a babe. You better not have taken too much, man. I have dibs tonight, and I’m starved.” He said, and you furrowed your brows. The way he said the word made you think of only one thing. Marko wasn’t talking about sex. He was talking about feeding.

“I’ve told you before. She tastes better when she cums.” It was Dwaynes voice then, and you felt a pang go through your heart. Dwayne had always been the sweetest. The kindest of the four. The way they were talking was like you were a meal more than anything, and it worried you that even Dwayne seemed to think the same. It wasn’t like you’d told the boys you’d loved them yet, but the feelings were still there. Just unspoken. Marko let out a laugh, and then he said something that made your blood run cold.

“Remember when we first saw her and Paul wanted to eat her that night?” It made you freeze. You remembered that night. Paul had walked right up to you. He’d flirted with you, won you prizes, and even taken you to a show on the beach. It had just been coincidence that they’d run into the others. Or so you thought.

“Yeah, and David wanted to keep her around. Make her last longer.” You could hear a small scuffle, and you guessed some of the boys were rough housing. Your heart felt like it was going to stop. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. The boys had wanted to eat you. Kill you. The only reason they hadn’t was because David had wanted to make you last. A personal snack. It didn’t help when he finally said,

“Took long enough for her to let us take a bite.” You could practically hear the grin in his voice and your heart truly fell out of your chest then. You felt your heart break, and the betrayal laid heavily on everything else that had bothered you that day. The boys had been using you. All they’d wanted was to feed from you. All they’d wanted was your blood. You rushed back up the stairs, and you could feel hot tears pouring out of your eyes as you went back up to your car. You hadn’t stayed long enough to hear the end of his comment. “Didn’t think we’d end up falling for her in the meantime.”

You didn’t go to the boardwalk that night. You stayed in your room with your window firmly closed and locked. Of course, that didn’t deter the boys. You were laying on your bed, doing your best not to let your heartbreak consume you, when you heard a knock at your window. You lifted your head, and outside was Marko. He called your name in a teasing voice. You weren’t surprised. He had called dibs, hadn’t he? He probably just thought that this was just a way to get him alone. You went to your window and he smiled as you came closer. Instead of letting him in, you closed the curtain. 

“Hey!” He called, but you paid no attention to him. You didn’t want to speak to any of the boys ever again. You heard another persistent knock, but you grabbed your cassette player and headphones. You’d ignore him all night if you had to. You put the headphones on your ears and laid back down in bed, resuming the ball you had been in before he’d arrived. No matter how loud you turned up your music, you could still hear him saying your name. You knew it was a trick. A vampire power. You turned off your bedside light. It shrouded the room in darkness. After a few minutes, the mantra quickly turned softer and softer until finally it stopped. You could feel silent tears streaming down your cheeks, and you knew he must’ve been gone. He must’ve left. It had been nearly a half-hour of silence, and you almost found peace in it. You took off your headphones and rolled onto your other side. Your back was to the door, but the idea of monsters didn’t scare you as much anymore. Not since you’d met them. You thought that perhaps you’d be rid of them, that they’d entertain themselves with some other meal. Until you felt cold hands grab you and you heard your name fall from his lips instead of by poking his way into your mind.

You started to shriek, but a hand clapped down on your mouth. It wasn’t Markos. it was Davids. It didn’t take you long to realize all the boys had invited themselves into your room. You knew it was too good to be true to think that they’d left you alone. Marko and David sat on either side of you on the bed. Dwayne and Paul stood, with Dwayne on Davids side and Paul at the end of the bed. Dwayne turned on the light, and you glared at the sight of them. Were they really so persistent? Could they not find another girl to drain? You glared at them with such hatred in your eyes that it surprised them. It was Paul that ungracefully asked,

“What’s your damage, babe? You didn’t come to the boardwalk and now-” And you could feel your angel boiling over. Your damage? Your damage? You quickly interrupted the blonde.

“My damage is you four. Get the fuck out of my house. I don’t want to speak to any of you.” You spat, and the boys were taken aback. You hopped off the bed, shrugging off Davids hand when he tried to grab you, and you went to the window. You unlocked it and threw it open, and you pointed out of it. “Out. Now.” You demanded, and the vampires stared at you. There were mixes of anger and hurt on their faces, and you wanted to laugh. They were hurt? Then, they were truly eviler than you thought. You couldn’t stand the sight of them. Your four beautiful boys. Before this night you would have done anything for them. But finding out they only saw you as an over-glorified juice box changed some things. The two angriest were Paul and David. Paul was an explosion of emotions on a good day, and he couldn’t do anything to keep his mouth shut. The moment you two fought, you had to expect there’d be some tears. Marko, despite the hurt in his voice and on his face, tried to dispel the tension. Even if his own anger was starting to tick like a time bomb. He asked quietly,

“Y/n, why are you acting like this? Like, you’re acting like you hate us.” He said, and you glared at him. At his perfect angelic features. At his eyes and lips that didn’t hold even a bit of a smile. He looked confused and hurt. For some reason, the very sound of his voice enraged you. Perhaps it was because you were supposed to hang out with him that night. Your intimate moments had been nothing but a feeding to him. Your heart had frozen over, and you didn’t have a modicum of sympathy for any of the vampires. They were assholes, dogs, pigs. Worse than any of your ex-boyfriends. They’d been after something worse than sex. They’d been after your blood, and there had been a time where they’d considered killing you to get it. It was why the words slipped from your mouth, even if they weren’t entirely true.

“Because I do hate you.” You said, and you watched Markos eyes fill with hurt. It was a hard blow, for all of them. Dwayne and David hadn’t said a word yet, and their eyes were the most unreadable. But you knew it had stung them too from the way Dwayne refused to look at you, and how David scoffed and shook his head. Like he refused to believe it.

“What the fuck, babe. Why are you being such a bitch?” Paul asked, and you wanted to rip the blondes hair right of his skull. You were a bitch? You set your eyes on him and you swore, vampire or not, you were about to kick his ass and force him out that window. The smarter part of you knew that Paul would simply pick you up and throw you over his shoulder the second you tried to force him. Instead, you reached up to your ear. You yanked out the earring they’d given you, and you threw it at the rocker. He caught it, and he gasped. His face had been filled with anger before, but now it was filled with shock and pain. The boys knew what that meant. You weren’t just mad at them over something small. Whatever had happened, you were willing to break up with them over it. It looked like Paul regretted opening his big mouth instantly, and he didn’t even try to say a single thing as he held the earring in his hand. 

David stood then. He was silent, and the air changed as soon as he did. You’d been in charge of the situation before, but, suddenly, that was no longer the case. David was in front of you in a moment, and he grabbed you by your shoulders. You knew that when it came to all of them, it was going to be his hooks that were the hardest to dig out. He’d told you that you were his, and he truly believed it. David didn’t like it when things that were his tried to leave him. He stared down at you and snapped,

“What happened? Did hunters get to you? Are you cursed? Tell me, now.” You could hear the suggestion in his voice. He was using his powers on you, but he didn’t need to. You already knew exactly what words you were going to throw into his face.

“’Took her long enough to let us take a bite’ ring any bells? You know, you guys have a lot of nerve being mad at me. I’m the one that was turned into a meal. I’m the one that was reduced to nothing but a juice box. I’m the one that you were going to kill, right, Paul?” You asked, and you set your glare on him. His face fell, and he opened his mouth to speak. For once in his life, he thought better of it. David stared and his hands dropped.

“It’s not like that. We would never hurt you.” He said, and you scoffed. Really? For some reason, you couldn’t believe him. You were on a roll, and fresh tears were in your eyes as you pointed to Dwayne.

“Really? Because Dwayne, Dwayne, even seems to think so. I don’t have to worry about him trying to eat me though because he only likes me when I’m cumming, huh?” Your voice was harsh and cruel, and the brunette stared at you. He shook his head, and he took a step forward. You weren’t going to let him calm you down this time. You continued. “Or is it only Marko that I have to worry about. I mean, he did call dibs, didn’t he?” You snarked. You knew you were playing with fire, but you didn’t care. You were pissing off four vampires. Four vampires that had admitted they’d wanted to kill you earlier that night. But you didn’t care. The tears were spilling over and the hurt was swallowing your heart. They were pricks, every single one of them. You never wanted to see any of their faces again. “Or is it because you wanted to make me last?” You finished, and David clicked his jaw. You had thrown all of their own words back at them. Revealing just how much you’d heard. You expected harsh words, maybe even a slap. Maybe he’d even kill you. Instead, he spat,

“It’s because we fell for you, y/n.” He said, and you stared. You didn’t believe him. How could you? His words from earlier, when you weren’t around, had been completely different. “We love you. I love you.” He said, and your eyes didn’t leave his. You didn’t know if this was a trick or not, but it felt like it was. Honestly, David’s mind tricks made it impossible to know. You shook your head in disbelief, and muttered a small,

“Yeah, sure.” It hurt you to say it. The second it left your lips, you regretted it. For the first time in your life, you saw Davids eyes fill with pain. You sniffled and wiped your face, and you kept your mouth closed so you wouldn’t say anything else. Wouldn't take it back. His voice was quiet as he said,

“You’re not going to forgive us.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, a realization. It settled over the room, and all of you knew it was true. Your lips loosened then.

“How can I? If that’s how you see me.”

[boxbusiness]

Totally didn’t try to make a bootleg card with a devilgram story or nothing... 

👀💦

But if ya wanna read some fluff with Fem!Beel check under the cut~ 🙃🙃🙃

Also apologies if it’s wonky~ I’ve never written a self insert and it’s kinda not and is at the same time >3>”

Hungry Eyes

It was a typical morning at the House of Lamentation. A majority of the residents finished their breakfast and had left to take care of their tasks for the day. Only three girls remained in the dining room. Lucifer and Asmo sat at one end of the table causally chatting about various topics, while their younger sister Beel sat on the other side. She was starting her brunch meal.

The two ladies were enjoying their conversations until the sound of loud monching and crunching ramped up. Lucifer and Asmo paused to awkwardly look at each other then awkwardly look at Beel.  Beel never paused. She simply continued gorging on her meal. 

“Oh wow! She’s really going at it... Ah Ha-ha.“ Asmo commented ending her sentence with a nervous laugh. “Umm... Should we stop her? This is getting hard to watch...” The ferocious pace Beel was eating at was quite intimidating.  Lucifer sighed and nodded agreement.

“Beel...” The first born called out to no response as Beel was too consumed in consuming. “Beel.” She repeated more sternly, but still no response. “BEELZEBUB!” Shouting finally got sixth born’s attention. The sudden call of her name made her flinch in the middle of taking a bite out a danish.

“Hmm... What’s up?” Beels asked then continued to take a bite. 

“Ah... Well... Don’t you think you shouldn’t be eating like that, dear?” Asmo started to say. “You know... Unladylike.” 

“Oh...” Beel looked at the empty plates surrounding her. “Well I don’t care about that as long as I get to eat.” 

“You don’t view this a problem, Beel?” Lucifer questioned. “Aren’t you worried of what others might think?” 

“No.”

“So you’re okay with others thinking of you as a pig then?”

Beel flinched at that statement and there was twinge of hurt in her face. Her cheeks turned bright pink and she quickly looked down at her lap. Even Asmo flinched at the harsh comment. 

“Hey~ She didn’t mean it like-” Asmo attempted to console her sister, but was cut off by her suddenly standing up. 

“I understand.” Beel was still looking down as she picked up her plates and hurried off drop them in the kitchen and then run back to her room. Asmo shot Lucifer an accusatory look after Beel left.

“Wow Lucy... Bold of you to call her a pig to her face. Totally not a bitch move or anything...” She scolded.

“What? I didn’t call her a pig. I was simply implying that-” 

“Oh sure sure... You didn’t mean it like that.”

“I wasn’t trying-”

“HMM-MMM...”

The two continued to bicker. 

~*~*~

Beel entered her shared bed room face still flushed from earlier. Lucky for Beel, her twin went back to napping after breakfast, so she couldn’t ask about her pink face. She proceeded throw herself in her bed and began clutching the sheets and pillows.

“Do people actually think I’m a pig?” She softly questioned herself. 

Beel never really thought about it. She was the avatar of Gluttony. It was in her nature to like eating... a lot. If anyone had an issue with her eating habits that was their problem not hers. However, all of a sudden she felt so self-conscious at the thought of someone judging her.

“Do... they think I’m a pig?” 

“Haaah...? What are you mumbling about?” 

Beel’s eyes widen and she flipped around on her bed to see her sister Belphie was no longer swaddled in her own covers, but instead looming over her. 

“Belphie... Did I wake you? I’m sorry.” Beel sat up in her bed still clutching a pillow. “I was just thinking about... Things. I’m fine.” She gave a small smile to assure her twin everything was alright. Not that Belphie was buying it.

“Things? What things?” Belphie crossed her arms and frowned at Beel. She knew something was up and intended to find out what.

“Ah... Well I thinking about how good breakfast tasted.” Beel’s kept darting around avoiding Belphie’s glare.

“And...?”

“...And I like what you did with your hair.”

“And...?”

“...And how it’s nice weather out today.”

“Annnnd...?”

“...And maybe I want to not eat so much anymore.”

Belphie would have done a spit-take if she was drinking something. She gripped her taller sister’s shoulders.

“Beel what is going on? Are you sick? Hurt? Does Belphie have to smack a bitch?” Her stare was so serious. Beel shook her head.

“I just think it would be a good idea for me... to cut back. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m a pig or anything...” Beel turned her head and quietly murmured that last part.

“Beelzebub... The always-famished sixth born... Avatar of Gluttony... Is on a diet?” She was utterly dumbfounded.

“Not a diet, per se, I’m just going to eat less. Like normal portions like everyone else!” Beel beamed. Belphie arched a brow. 

“So are not going to eat for the rest of the day? You ate enough that would last anyone else the rest of the week actually.” Beel pouted. Belphie sighed. “Why are you so worried about what others think about your eating habits all of a sudden. This never bothered you before...” Beel refused to make eye contact as her cheeks turned light pink. “Is there a certain someone you’re worried about looking down on you?” Beel perked up turning bright red. “Ha. Gotcha.” 

Before Beel could protest, her DDD sounded with a text. She took out her device and read the message and promptly got up to leave.

“Hey where are you going?”

“MC and I had plans to walk around Devildom today.”

“Hehehe... Good luck walking around the food vendors, sis.” Belphie teased.

Beel merely shot her twin a frown and shut the door behind her. She sighed. She knew how badly she was going to need that luck.  

~*~*~

“Oh Lady Diavolo give me the strength to endure this hell...” Beel quietly chanted to herself. 

“Isn’t this great, Beel? There seems to be some sort of food festival today. Look at all the different stalls! Where do you want to go first?” MC cheerfully asked. “I bet you want to visit all of them. Haha~” Oh how badly she wanted to do that. Beel’s face turned pink and she quickly brushed passed MC. 

“L-Let’s keep walking.” She blurted out before continuing down the side walk. MC immediately pegged this as strange. She wasn’t a picky eater unless it came to Mammon or Solomon’s food, but they weren’t around so what could be wrong? They followed after her. 

Trailing behind her for a couple minutes it was absolutely clear to MC that Beel was denying herself the pleasure of eating for some reason. She’d eye other people snacking on delicious goodies and stared at plated meals on display with deep longing in her eyes. Her stomach would growl occasionally scaring anyone in earshot. It was very strange, and every time MC tried to point out how weird she was acting she’d quickly change the subject. 

MC got tired of going circles. They were going to get to bottom of this.

The two decided to take a break from their stroll to sit at an open cafe, and of course Beel wasn’t ordering anything. MC was fiddling with the laminated menu while Beel looked off to the side miserable.

“Ahem- So what are you going to get? This crepe looks-” 

“I don’t want anything.” Beel lied.

“You don’t want anything? Anything at all?” MC asked.

“I’m not hungry.”

That was it. MC wasn’t going to be nice about it anymore. It was time to go for the throat. MC flagged down a waitress and placed an order.

“Hey~ You better not be ordering something for me!” Beel said eyeing the waitress walking away.

“I wasn’t.” “Good... Because I wasn’t going to eat it.” 

“I know.”

Moments later, the waitress returned balancing an immaculate sundae on a silver platter. The waitress placed it on the table told MC to enjoy and left. The two of them stared, one with more desire in her heart. Beel stared in a daze which was broken when MC picked up the cup.

“MMMM! Doesn’t this look just scrumptious?” MC started playing it up. Not that it was really needed as Beel couldn’t shake her gaze. “The freshly cut strawberries smells so sweet and look how the sugary syrup oozes down the soft ice cream!” There was an audible gulp. “This dessert is truly divine if I do say so myself~” MC eyed Beel for a reaction. 

“W-w-Well go head and enjoy it!” She crossed her arms and pretended not to be fazed. 

“Okay~ Here I go!” MC scooped at the sundae making a big show out of it. They examined the spoonful, and wafted the aroma, and even closed their eyes to take a bite. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~”

“Wait.”

MC opened their eyes to see Beel madly blushing with tear welling in her eyes,  one hand over her mouth, and the other raised giving the stop hand sign.

“I want it.” She whimpered. 

MC chuckled. They shifted their chair over to her and offered her the spoonful. She took a bite and her expression of relief, pleasure, and happiness made MC’s heart feel light.

“That’s my girl. Now after this let’s properly enjoy today.”

Beel smiled and nodded, licking the sweetness off her lips.

[elisaphoenix13]

Family Bonds

"Trade you my turkey sandwich for yours."

William stares at his twin as he slurps his soda noisely, ignoring the annoyed look Cassie is giving him from across the table. He had adopted quite a few mannerisms from the family after he finally felt comfortable expressing himself, and the noisy drinking could have easily been learned from Harley or Peter. Thomas didn't even look bothered. He just lifted the top slice of bread to show the fixings of the sandwich and it was enough explanation for his seemingly weird question.

It was devoid of honey mustard. William despised the stuff, but for some reason Thomas loved it. It was disgusting and he had no problem shoving the sandwich in front of him over to his twin. Once he got his blessedly honey mustard free sandwich from Thomas, he finally set his can of soda down.

"Mom probably wasn't paying attention when he was putting our lunches together." Thomas says.

"I don't blame him. He was frazzled this morning because Valerie and Lucy are sick." Cassie points out and then takes a bite of her salad. "Tony has meetings all day today so he can't help with them."

"How do you even know this? You weren't upstairs at all this morning." William points out.

"Dude, she's Mom's underling. Cassie is starting to just know things." Thomas snorts.

Cassie smiles. "Actually, he texted me and asked me to pick up some medicine for them after school. But I'm flattered you think I'm at that level."

"You are." The twins say in unison.

Cassie just rolled her eyes in response and they ate their lunch with the usual chatter. Classes, teachers, assignments, the newest rumor, and what they planned to do after school. The three of them normally walked home together (or William portaled them if he was up to it), and one of the things they knew they were going to do is go buy some medicine. Cassie also said she wanted to pick up some stuff to bake and decorate cupcakes and when Thomas asked about the occasion, she said it was just because. William didn't mind. He really liked her baking, not just because it always tasted amazing, but she also did a really great job decorating them. She even decorated them without going overboard with the icing which some professionals did.

The amount of icing should not equal the size of the cupcake.

"Maybe we can pick up some strawberries and whipped cream? Val likes to share those with me." William says.

"Sure. Mom said we could pick up whatever snacks we want anyway." Cassie replies.

"I need more pens too." Thomas says around his mouthful of sandwich.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." Cassie huffs.

William half expected his twin to open his mouth just to gross Cassie out, but Thomas didn't and instead chewed and swallowed his food. Stephen reprimanded him for it on occasion as well, so it was probably finally starting to sink in. When they finished their lunches and tossed their garbage into the nearest trash can, the bell rang for class and they said their temporary goodbyes before they headed to their classes. William had a class by himself next period, but Thomas and Cassie had their next class together. In the past, when he didn't have classes with Thomas or Cassie, he used to feel alone. Now he didn't care. School actually got a lot better for him and his brother ever since Stephen and Tony took them in.

They used to be bullied for jumping from one foster home to another, for the crappy clothes each home barely managed to put on their backs...and they even went days without food, bathing, or adequate sleep. It was depressing. William and Thomas decided they would prefer to live on the streets than deal with more abuse, and it was barely a week later when Cassie brought Stephen to them. At the time, William barely trusted her, but he trusted her enough for him and his brother to go home with them. Maybe it was some kind of desperate hope that it would be different than before, that they would be shown the care and love they deserved.

When it was, William and Thomas didn't know what to do. Right off the bat they were given a hot meal, a hot shower, warm beds, quality clothing...an endless list of things. William was personally afraid that it was too good to be true, but as time went on, nothing changed. Well nothing except him and Thomas being moved up to the penthouse once Tony was done building their rooms. The penthouse was huge and probably had room for five more bedrooms, but it was nice to be close to their new parents and siblings. The twins, of course, still went downstairs to visit Wanda and Vision for movies or lunches, but being upstairs made them happy. At least William. He enjoyed the feeling of family he got from the two men and the other kids. He even felt part of it. He was part of it.

Now he was happily in a relationship with Harley, and he also enjoyed spending time with Valerie. He was one of the few she would spend time with if Stephen wasn't available and it made him feel special. He also liked that she was so easy to please. If he needed to keep an eye on her, he could put on her favorite movie and she would lay with him until she ultimately fell asleep, or she would color while he did his homework. Just like Diana followed Cassie around a lot, William had his own little duckling following him.

When the school day was finally over, he went to his locker to put away the books he didn't need and Thomas and Cassie met him just as he was closing it.

"Ready to go?" Cassie asks.

"Yeah. Maybe I'll help with Val today." William says.

"Mom will probably appreciate it. Apparently Tony has work he needs to do and can't put it off any longer." She says as they walk out of the building.

They walk as quickly as they can to the nearest store, and William has to keep himself from laughing when he notices how antsy Thomas seems to be. He was constantly found bouncing his knee while sitting or looking ready to bolt when standing that one would think Stephen and Tony didn't regularly try to give him a place to run as much as he wanted. Which wasn't the case. Their mother always opened a portal to the lake house for Thomas when he looked ready to vibrate out of his skin or whenever he asked. William was a little luckier that he could practice his magic as long as he was careful.

Cassie was quick to find the medicine Stephen wanted for the little girls, and then the three teens gathered the snacks they wanted before heading to the front to buy everything. Usually they would be picking up Diana by now but she had a half day so someone else picked her up. All they had to do was walk home. William teleported them this time because they had cold items that he wanted to stay cold when he made his and Valerie's usual snack.

"Hey Mom!" Thomas grabs the box of cheez-its that Stephen was already holding out for him when they arrived. "Thanks!" He says before running into his room.

"Here's the medicine." Cassie says as she digs it out of the grocery bag and hands it to Stephen.

"Oh, good. Thank you. It's time for their next dose." Stephen sighs as he digs out a small medicine cup and also a medicine dropper. "I knew I had just enough until you kids got home. Would you mind taking Diana downstairs with you for tonight?"

"Sure!"

William pulls out the strawberries and whipped cream and joins Stephen at the counter to cut the fruit. He could hear Cassie telling Diana to get her homework, toothbrush, and pajamas together and saw Lucy sleeping in the playpen in the living room. Considering that Stephen looked a little tired when they got home, one or both of the girls had been fussing all day because they weren't feeling well, but William was intent on helping him out now.

"Is Val asleep?" William asks Stephen.

"Maybe. She's in bed watching The Little Mermaid if she's not." He replies as he gently places the cup filled with pink gloop in front of the teen. "Don't let her have too much whipped cream and make sure she finishes this please."

"Okay."

William scoops the strawberry pieces into a bowl and some whipped cream into a smaller bowl before gathering them together and grabbing the medicine and juice box that Stephen also set in front of him. He also grabbed a breakfast bed tray on his way out of the kitchen so Valerie would be able to access the snacks easier and not spill. William had put his backpack down on one of the stools at the counter so it was out of the way, but if he didn't grab it soon, he was pretty sure he would find it in his bedroom. Stephen knew he was good about taking it straight to his bedroom, but considering the circumstances, he would send it to William's bedroom through a small gateway. So he left it on the stool in favor of getting up to Valerie.

She was sharing Diana's room now that Stephen and Tony had moved the toddler out of their room, but she was still prone to getting up in the middle of the night and climbing into bed next to Stephen. Once she was past that stage, she would be moved permanently into her own room. It was already ready for her, and she used it to play in and sometimes for naps, but Diana's room was closer to the master bedroom. Valerie's was closer to William's, and he fully expected to find her in his bed when she was in her room.

Diana and Cassie pass by William as he walks into the bedroom, and he closes the door once they leave and turns to look at Valerie in her bed. She was awake and blearily watching her favorite movie as William placed everything on the nightstand so he can set up the tray. When she notices his presence, she immediately makes room for him and he lays on the bed next to her, smiling when she snuggles into his side.

"Hey angel. Brought you a snack." He says softly.

"Berries?" Valerie whispers.

"You know it. You gotta take some medicine first though okay?"

"Yucky." She makes a face when William grabs it from the nightstand but takes it and drinks it anyway.

"You can wash it down with juice and strawberries." William laughs and grabs the juice box and opens it while the little girl sits up. "Here you go."

"Thank you Liam." She says quietly and sips her juice.

"You're welcome."

He then grabbed the two bowls and put them on the tray that he had set up over her legs and she puts her juice box on it to eat some of the fruit. William didn't even have to cut her off from the whipped cream. Valerie didn't seem very interested in eating much of it, and he was able to make up for it since she didn't double dip. He made sure to teach her not to do that when she started sharing snacks with him.

"Can you stay?" Valerie asks softly after a few minutes.

"Like sleep in here?"

"Uh-huh."

The teen looks over at Diana's bed and then back at Valerie. "Sure. Dia is gonna stay with Cassie tonight so I can sleep in her bed."

The smile his answer brought to his little sister's face was worth it. He was almost one hundred percent certain she would crawl into bed with him eventually but he wasn't worried about getting sick. If he did, it wouldn't be a big deal. Stephen would undoubtedly stay home again and make sure William was taken care of despite the fact that he was older than the girls and capable of taking care of himself, but the teen was happy knowing he had someone to go to for something as simple as not feeling well. He didn't really have that luxury when he was in the other homes. The foster parents would basically tell him to suck it up and go to school anyway. He learned to suffer in silence after a few times of that happening.

He and Thomas even did their silent suffering after being taken in by Stephen and Tony, but the silence didn't last long. Stephen very quickly found out (as Harley and Peter warned it would happen) and he gently scolded them for not going to him. The sorcerer dropped everything to take care of them and it was the best thing the twins ever experienced. Stephen brought them soup, medicine, and made sure they were warm and comfortable enough. William hardly noticed he was sick.

Stephen came into the room about an hour later, and halfway through Cinderella, to find Valerie cocooned in her blankets against William and sleeping soundly. The teen had since set the tray aside to get more comfortable and he pointed to the empty medicine cup before the sorcerer could even ask.

"She took it all."

Stephen smiles softly. "Thank you. Tony is finally done with work so he's taking care of Lucy now. Did you want to get up?"

"No. I'm okay for now. I told her I would sleep in here with her tonight anyway." William replies quietly so not to disturb the toddler.

"I'm sure that will keep her from being scared. Any requests for dinner?" Stephen asks.

"Food."

The sorcerer looks at him flatly. "You're no longer allowed to date Harley. He's clearly rubbing off on you."

William smiles. He knew Stephen wasn't actually serious, and the smile his mother gave him before leaving the room was confirmation. He ended up having to eat dinner in the room with Valerie when Harley brought it up for them later that night, and he did his homework on Diana's bed while Valerie watched another movie before going to bed for the night. Fortunately he didn't have much homework and was able to go to bed at a decent time, and he double checked to make sure his sister was asleep and okay before he went to sleep.

As he predicted, he woke up with Valerie in bed next to him, curled against his side, and the plus side?

Her fever had broken.

[cuddlepilefics]

Lullaby and good night

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie/Little: Minho

Caregiver: Jisung

 Minho’s POV.:

Our next comeback was approaching and 3racha had only finished up in the studio very recently. Now that all their tracks had been finished, it was the dance-line’s task to come up with choreographies. Being the oldest member of the dance-line, I felt a sense of responsibility, so I pretty much took the lead and spent most of my time in the practice room. In my free time, which was mostly at night, I went to the studio to practice my vocals. I knew I had to improve my singing, I read all the comments online, saying the only reason I was in the group was for my visuals. As much as it honored me that Stay found me handsome, as much did it hurt to hear I was good for nothing. Some nights I skipped entirely, not going back to the dorm at all and meeting up with my members for practice the next morning. Often it took a stern conversation with Chan-hyung to drag me back and get some rest. Couldn’t he see that I needed more time to practice? That I needed to work more to make up for the talent I was lacking? I hadn’t gone home after practice last night, instead dancing for another three hours before dragging my sore body to the studio to go over some of the new songs. I hoped with enough practice I’d get my lines down to perfection. It weren’t many anyways.

The next morning, I met up with Hyunjin and Felix to work on our choreos. The young Aussie was having a tough time, often messing up and being on edge the entire time. I saw his hands shaking every time he lost a step and his brows were furrowed as though he had a headache. Being a little myself, it didn’t take long for me to put two and two together. The poor boy was trying so hard not to slip but the stress was slowly getting to him. He wasn’t even there for a full hour before I decided to be a good hyung and send him home. It took a while for Felix to accept my decision, he didn’t want to hold us back and be a burden and I knew exactly how he felt but after quite some pushing from Hyunjin and me and a call to Chan, the dance-line maknae let the leader collect him from the practice room. From that on, it was only Hyunjin and me. We hadn’t even danced for that long but we were both drenched in sweat. My limbs ached and my protested with every movement. I doubted my dongsaeng felt any different but he put on a battle-face and soldiered on. Hyunjin really was something, though sensitive most of the time, when it came to dancing, he was pure professionalism. Not once did he complain about me torturing both of us with endless reruns of the same sequence. It was easy to work with him and seeing him be strong and push his exhaustion and pain away, gave me the strength to do the same.

We cut our lunch break short. Hyunjin gave me a proteinbar from his bag because I had eaten my last for dinner last night. I’d have to go back to the dorm soon to refill the snack-department of my practice bag. The break was just long enough to catch our breaths and force down a proteinbar and some water. Sure, it wasn’t a full meal but if we ate too much, the sharp movements would make us queasy. My eyes were burning and my head ached but on second thought, everything ached, so all I could do was suck it up and hope we’d finish soon. I was really craving a shower and my bed at this point. We had only resumed dancing for a few minutes, when my eyes were starting to bother me, well, bother me more than before. The bright overhead lights seamed distorted, casting strange shapes. I really shouldn’t wear my contacts for days on end. Blinking rapidly, I tried to clear my vision from the shimmering distortions before looking over at Hyunjin, squinting in an attempt to see him clearly. I’ve probably been staring at him for too long because he gave me a questioning look. The room suddenly shifted sideways before everything went black.

When I came to again, the first thing I heard was a loud howling noise quickly changing in pitch. It was too loud, my head was pounding and the noise didn’t help with that at all. Why couldn’t it just be quiet? I wanted to sleep. There were broken and half-suppressed sobs somewhere close. But where? It sounded a lot like Hyunjin. Trying to open my eyes, I failed as my eyelids seemed to be glued shut. There was a pressure around my hand, which seemed to come from the same direction as the sobs. Finally managing to blink my eyes open, I quickly closed them again and groaned as I hadn’t expected it too be so bright. I felt my hand being squeezed and I gave a weak squeeze back. There was also a voice that I didn’t recognize, words blurring together incomprehensible. Just wanting to sleep, I decided to ignore the voice and kept my eyes closed. It was too bright to open them anyways. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t go back to sleep. As soon as I became aware of the moist stickiness, with which my pants clung to me, it was too uncomfortable to get another minute of rest.

Through all the commotion, I kept my eyes closed. Why wouldn’t they stop bothering me? Is it too much to ask to just be allowed some rest? There were hands on me and my bed was shaking. I tried swatting the hands away but I wasn’t strong enough. My clothes were pulled on and suddenly I felt cold. Was I naked? My breathing quickened as I felt helpless and violated. All I had wanted to do was sleep off the pounding headache behind my temples. Oh thanks, someone had put a blanket on me. The commotion was slowly dying down and I dared opening my eyes again, though only a crack. The reassuring hand in mine had disappeared for a while but now I could feel it again. Looking over, I was faced with a tearstained Hyunjin. “H-Hey, you’re awake, hyung”, he smiled shakily. Trying to speak, I head to clear my throat a few times before I was able to get a sound out: “J-Jinnie? Wha’ happened? People were touching me, my head hurts.” – “It’s ok, hyung. They were only helping”, Hyunjin promised before breaking into tears again, “We were dancing together when you kept staring at me. I asked you a few times what was wrong but – but-…” – “Jinnie?”, rasped, squeezing his hand like he had done to me before. My dongsaeng just continued to choke on sobs, clearly terrified of something. But what?

I wanted to reassure him but how could I when I didn’t even know what happened? I was still so unbelievably tired but I couldn’t go to sleep, knowing my dongsaeng was crying next to me. The door opened and in piled my friends. Chan sat down on the bed next to my, taking my hand into his, while Changbin pulled Hyunjin out of the chair and into his arms. “Hyung?”, I looked at him with pleading eyes. The oldest sighed, studying my face: “You don’t remember what happened, do you Min?” I shook my head a bit, waiting for an explanation. “Hyunjin called us because you suddenly collapsed and had a seizure. He called an ambulance, which took both of you here, we followed”, the leader explained calmly but in his eyes I could see he was anything but calm. I had heard anything clearly but for some reason I couldn’t comprehend his words. They made no sense to me. Why would I have a seizure? I never had one before. My hyung must have sensed my confusion because he added: “The doctor said it might have been caused by sleep deprivation but they couldn’t confirm it yet because no one knew how much or rather little sleep you had gotten recently. To me it sounds likely because there were too many nights you didn’t come back at all.” Refusing to meet Chan’s eyes, I stared at the blanket in my lap, which seemed to confirm his suspicions. “I don’t think I have to tell you that you should have taken better care of yourself. You’re one of the oldest here and I know I haven’t been the greatest role-model but not even I have ever taken it to that extreme”, He frowned disappointed. Fighting tears back, I tried to explain myself: “It’s just, all those comments online, reminding me of my lack of talent. I just wanted to improve myself for Stay.” Great, with that confession I have earned myself another round of ‘Why we are not supposed to read comments on social media’, but I knew they meant well giving me a talk.

Another hour, many compliments for my skills and hugs from everyone later, most members went home, promising that one or two of them would come back later to bring me a bag with some clothes and my toothbrush. Much to my dismay, I learned that I’d have to stay at least one night for observation. Chan and Jisung stayed after everyone else left. I was grateful for their presence because I still needed to come to terms with what had happened. I had talked to a doctor, who had explained my situation again. It gave me hope because he said it might never happen again if I make sure to take good care of my body. His words were very inspirational to me: ‘Rest is a right, not a reward.’ I will probably make a poster of this and hang it in the 3racha studio, so others could also benefit from this man’s wise words.

No one’s POV.:

Chan and Jisung stayed to keep Minho company. The dancer kept a cool exterior to reassure his friends but the two knew he was really shaken-up inside. The trio continued talking, about everything and anything, trying to distract themselves and the mood in the room was considerably light. Until a nurse came in, that is. She wanted to give the dancer an IV, which would also be useful for administering medication for the pain. The atmosphere turned sour and Minho squirmed uncomfortably. He hated needles. Jisung quickly took his hand, trying to calm the older down. The nurse gave them a sympathetic smile as she had seen the same scene multiple times. Her promises, it would only be a tiny pinch and it would be over before Minho knew it, fell on deaf ears. When she took another step closer, needle in hand, the dancer couldn’t take it anymore. He screamed, trying to pull away from Jisung, who was holding onto his wrist. Then, as if a switch was flicked, he crawled back to the rapper, clutching his shirt. “Jiji, nuh let Min huwt!”, he sobbed, his breaths coming in short strained puffs. The nurse quickly put the needle down out of sight, taking a few steps back to give them space. Chan and Jisung had both paled immediately after noticing how Minho had slipped. They were terrified of it happening with a stranger in the room, afraid the little would be treated with disgust. Jisung was quick to sit on the edge of the bed, an arm wrapped around the dancer as he whispered soothing nothings and tried to help the other to slow his breathing down. At the same time, Chan studied the nurse, hoping for any clue on how she thought about little space.

A few minutes later, Jisung had finally managed to talk the little down and the nurse considered it safe to approach them again, without a needle this time. “Hey sweetie, can you tell me how old you feel right now?”, she cooed, crouching in front of the pair. All she got was a whimper from Minho, who pressed himself closer to Jisung, and the stunned looks of Chan and Jisung. She smiled at their confusion: “Regressing in age is a not too uncommon coping mechanism. People only thing it’s uncommon because everyone’s ashamed of talking about it. What’s bad about creating a safe space for oneself? It’s harmless, unlike taking drugs or self-harming as an outlet.” She wasn’t wrong there and her acceptance helped Minho build the courage to meet her eyes. When they were going to give the IV another try, Chan silently disappeared out of the room to call the members at the dorm, asking them to also pack Minho’s beloved cat plushie and a pacifier.

“Min, I’d need to give you some medicine but to be able to do that, I’ll have to put a small tube into the back of your hand”, she tried carefully. The little’s eyes went wide and he shook his head furiously. Jisung rubbed his back, hoping to be able to convince him: “Kitten, I know you’re scared. Hyung knows. But don’t you feel icky?” Minho sniffled and touched his head, whimpering a pitiful: “Ouchie.” – “I know, bubba. She’s going to help with that, if you let her. You trust Jiji-hyungie, right? I wouldn’t let anyone do anything that’s bad for you”, the rapper promised, “You’re my brave boy, aren’t you?” Minho whined loudly, he knew Jisung was right but he hated it. “Usually when we have to give a child an injection or IV, we let them sit on their parents lap”, the nurse mused. Jisung didn’t have to be told twice to kick of his shoes and sit down on the bed properly. He pulled the little onto his lap, who quickly buried his face against the rapper’s neck. Taking a few deep breaths and inhaling the caregiver’s soothing scent, Minho held out his right hand, stretching it far away from his body. “You’re so brave, kitten. Hyung’s really proud of you”, Jisung praised. The nurse wasted no time, afraid the little’s burst of confidence would be over before she’d have the needle in. It was really only a small prick and Minho didn’t even have the time to cry out before it was over. Quickly wrapping a few layers of bandage around the dancer’s hand to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally pull the needle out, she stepped back and smiled. She walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a small piece of paper, chuckling: “A brave boy like you totally deserves some stickers.” – “Stickers!!!”, the little squealed, accepting the sheet and studying it. Jisung grinned, glad the fuss was over, and reminded: “What do we say, Min?” – “Tank chuuu!”, the dancer giggled. With a satisfied smile, the nurse connected the bag of fluids and painkillers before leaving the room.

Chan returned and listened to Minho boast about his knew stickers, while they waited for their friends to arrive with the dancer’s necessities. “Hyung, I’m going to stay here with him tonight”, Jisung announced, still sitting on the bed with the little on his lap. The leader nodded, he had already expected this given the rapper was Minho’s main caregiver and the two were extremely close. They kept playing around for a while, the dancer giggling happily, IV already forgotten, till there was a knock on the door. In came Changbin and Seungmin their worried faces brightening at the sight of the happy little on Jisung’s lap. Their worry had doubled when Chan told them Minho had slipped but it now melted away completely. “Hey there, little one”, Seungmin laughed, walking over and ruffling the dancer’s hair, “You gave your Jinnie-hyung quite a scare”, noticing the little’s frown, he was quick to add, “Don’t worry Jinnie’s fine.” – “Look we brought Soori”, Changbin distracted, pulling the plushie from the bag and handing it over. Cuddling the stuffed cat close to his chest, Minho looked up with sparkling eyes and mumbled: “Tank chu, Binnie-hyung.”

Changbin and Seungmin took Chan back home with them after saying good bye to Minho and Jisung. The rapper gently helped the little to change out of the hospital into his own clothes, making sure to pull the bottle and tubing through the sleeve first and guiding Minho’s hand, so he wouldn’t mess with the IV. The energy and excitement, that had fueled the dancer while the other members were present, soon ebbed away and the exhaustion that had brought him into the current situation caught up to him. “Is there someone sleepy?”, Jisung cooed, running a hand through the little’s hair. Minho gave a small nod, yawning widely while he rubbed a fist against his eye: “Wan’ cuddle Jiji.” – “Okay baby, scoot over a bit”, the rapper requested, climbing under the blanket too, “Here, hold on to Soori, she wants cuddles too.” Clutching the plushie, the little snuggled up against his caregiver, who pulled a paci from the bag and slipped it between the little’s lips. “Go to sleep, kitten. Hyungie will sing for you, ok?”, Jisung hummed, he was hoping Minho would be able to catch up on the sleep he was lacking, “Good night, little one.”

[twoidiotwriters1]

Written In The Stars CXXVII (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: This is one of my favourite chapters uwu -Danny

Words: 4,172

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘I Wanna Be OK’ -by Caleb James

Chapter Twenty-Five: Reaching Out.

She never would've thought that one of Pansy's friends was... decent. 

Yes, Erick had some pretty nasty friends, but he was lovely, however, he'd never considered them close. Daphne was different, she didn't have a problem with her friends, but she had a restless curiosity and a set of very good eyes, same eyes that helped her realize Erick was acting strange.

"She's been following me for months," Erick scowled at the girl. "I didn't know it was her, but I was careful not to do anything suspicious as soon as I felt it... I'm used to being alone, Daphne, which means I can tell when I'm not."

"Didn't hurt to try," Daphne shrugged, sitting down. "You can stop staring at me like that, I'm not here to kill you."

"What do you want?"

"I already asked her," Erick sat down next to the girl and gestured for Mel to sit in front of them. "I know you don't like her, but if you trust me then you'll listen to what she has to say."

Mel hesitated, if this would've happened a year ago she would've agreed right away, there was nothing to lose and one more friend to gain, but now it wasn't just some silly study sessions to learn about the muggle world, it was the Order, secrets plans to win a war that was yet to start...

"Erick has explained to me that you and Granger taught him a lot about the muggle world and that you've also done a few things off-record... I want to learn, I don't care whether if You-Know-Who's back or not, but I care about myself and my sister. I want to be prepared if it turns out you're not crazy."

"I don't understand," Mel sat down. "You believe us?"

"I don't know what to believe," Daphne made a face. "I know that if the Ministry sent Umbridge here they must see Dumbledore as a real threat, and that's something."

"Why asking me, though?"

"I would rather get my information from someone who's lived around muggles instead of that nonsense pureblood families say all the time. They heard it from their parents, and the parents heard it from their parents... I'm not excited about spending time with you and Granger," She sneered. "But I don't have a choice."

"How do I know you're not trying to trick us?"

Daphne raised a brow in amusement. 

"Why do you need to trust me to have a silly study session from time to time?"

"Answer the question, Daphne," Erick pressed.

The girl turned to look at him, she examined his and Mel's face and her interest increased.

"What are really doing here?"

"Listen, you either answer me, or we're done," Mel insisted. "I have things to—"

"Umbridge wants to make her own little team of rats," Daphne said. "Pansy was telling us about it yesterday, she said Umbridge was writing to the Minister the other day after class, and that she managed to read a bit — said it was something about recruiting students to be her eyes and ears."

"So?" 

"I could join along with Erick and we could help you. I know you and your friends are up to something, you've been too friendly with students from other houses and that didn't use to happen, we can trick Umbridge so she follows the wrong clues."

Mel couldn't help but think about Kingsley and Tonks helping the Order by lying about Sirius' whereabouts, it was tempting. Hadn't she promised to find a way to beat Umbridge in her own game? Maybe this was it. Umbridge would never suspect two of the best Slytherins being the ones passing information to Mel. 

"If that's true," She started carefully. "Then I'd consider teaching you, if you promise to keep your mouth shut."

"Okay," Daphne stood up. "We have a deal?"

Mel faced the girl in front of her, she still couldn't believe this was happening.

"Greengrass, if this is a trick... you'll regret it."

"I know."

She told Hermione about it because throwing Daphne into the mix was a dangerous move. She figured Harry would be okay since it really didn't have to do with him and what they were doing, he would get anxious no doubt, but he would understand. 

Since she had promised to help him with Occlumency, Mel decided to inform him about it during their first study session. Harry was just as confused as her.

"What is it about you," He asked in incredulity, "that attracts Slytherins so much?"

"Dunno," Mel smiled. "Maybe it's, you know, that I don't judge the book by its cover?"

"Shut up," Harry snorted. "I've never seen you pick a book with an ugly cover. Don't lie to me."

"Are you admitting that I was right, though? Slytherins and Gryffindors can get along."

"Have your first meeting with two Slytherins at once," He raised a brow. "Then we'll talk."

It was a known fact that Umbridge was starting to lose it, with every new decree she was stepping further into a higher position, making her even more dislikeable than before. It was also known, that there was a war going on between the woman and Mel Dumbledore.

She was, to say it simply, mayhem. Mel hung a target on those bullies that would openly talk against the muggle-borns, making their lives a living hell -with the twins' help, obviously- and the best part was that Umbridge was unable to catch her every single time.

Umbridge was a threat to the school, she could feel her breathing on her neck. The funny thing was that even though Umbridge considered her the biggest issue on her list, she was underestimating Mel at an abysmal level.

For instance, the woman couldn't phantom the plausibility of Mel doing wandless magic, even knowing she was a Dumbledore, a gifted one at that, Umbridge's blind trust in Fudge seemed to weigh more on her mind than anything else.

Being the student defending the muggle-borns honour regardless of their house gave her the protection she'd been lacking for years. The witnesses would blatantly deny her participation in any incidents, it didn't matter if Umbridge threatened them with detention, Mel had created such a strong community that it was now acting without her having to move a finger. 

While Harry was doing everything in his power to teach what the woman was censoring in her classes, Mel kept destroying every false fear Umbridge had been placing inside the students' heads; but the work wasn't done after the first week, it had to be constant and she had to be careful about the battles she'd pick. 

Her lessons with Dumbledore were a great help for that, learning how to clear her mind and compartmentalize her emotions turned out to be brilliant for her plans. She was unstoppable.

Unfortunately, there was a consequence to this: Mel was turning into a prepotent git. She'd started to publicly mess with the bullies, and in some cases, students that were younger than her. One afternoon, Erick caught her while hexing a thirteen-year-old.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He hissed at her. "You have no right to punish him — You can't allow this to get over your head!"

"Oh, it's way over my head by now," Mel snorted. "I spent four years trying to convince everyone that I was worthy — four bloody years where I got nothing in return. I'm done with that, I'll let it get over my head as much as I want. I deserve it. I deserve the attention and I deserve the bloody power. Umbridge is nothing compared to me."

"You forget you're not the ruler of the school — Even if others treat you like it," He warned her.

"Then stop me," She smiled innocently, though her tone was definitely mocking. "You'll have a hard time trying, Prince."

Erick straightened in his place and spoke out loud:

"Detention, Miss Dumbledore. You'll report to Professor McGonagall tonight — Oh! And thirty points from Gryffindor will be taken away."

Mel's eyes flashed dangerously. "You can't do that."

Erick leaned closer. 

"Then stop me," He looked around the hall and yelled. "What are you looking at? Go to class!"

Most of the students glared at the boy and mumbled about taking care of him later, but Erick didn't care, after all, he'd never been afraid of her, let alone of her admirers.

Neville had found his motivation in the shape of Bellatrix Lestrange. There was something dark but certain in the way he would practice, and there was something pleasant but worrying about the fact that he'd become the best student.

By the end of January, after a long talk with Erick, Harry, Hermione and Ron, Mel decided to mention the D.A. to Daphne. It wasn't surprising at all when she decided to join.

Mel was working at the speed of light: Quidditch practice, O.W.L.s lessons and Dumbledore's along with her little vigilante acts. She was missing meals several times a week, something that her friends were noticing, which caused the sudden appearance of snacks in her bag and pockets.

She was so enraptured on herself that she couldn't even feel Harry's discomfort. She knew he was having a hard time thanks to their weekly Occlumency sessions, he still couldn't clear his head, and although she would try her best she would stop at the slightest hint of an argument about to burst between them. She didn't have the time to fight.

The day finally arrived when Daphne would have her very first D.A. meeting. She was welcomed with open arms, and it wasn't because of Mel's warnings, the students were genuinely excited about having a Slytherin there, and Mel couldn't help but share their sentiment.

She woke up on the morning of Valentine's day having no clue that it was Valentine's day. She had fallen asleep right after a soothing warm bath, her hair turned all frizzy overnight and it hadn't dried completely, so she was sort of grumpy.

An owl landed in front of Hermione during breakfast, holding out a letter for her. Thinking it was maybe Krum's reply Mel didn't give much thought to it while she ate, Ron sat down beside her and nudge her side.

"You're okay?"

"Hmm?" Mel asked, shoving a spoonful of cereal in her mouth. 

"I thought you'd be bouncing off the walls today, aren't you excited?" 

Mel blinked, swallowing her food and frowning slightly. 

"About what?"

Ron stared at her. 

"Your date?"

The girl dropped her spoon.

"It's Valentine's day?!"

"Are you sure you're sleeping enough?" He asked worryingly. 

"Mum's birthday!" She said in horror. "I have to send her a present — I have to hurry —"

"About time!" Hermione said abruptly. "If it hadn't come today..." 

"What's that?" asked Mel anxiously. 

"Listen, guys," Hermione looked up at her and Harry. "This is really important... Do you think you could meet me in the Three Broomsticks around midday?"

"Well... I dunno," Harry shrugged. "Cho might be expecting me to spend the whole day with her. We never said what we were going to do." 

"Fred wouldn't mind about me leaving early," Mel responded. "Why?"

"Well, Harry, bring her along if you must," said Hermione with impatience. "But will you come?"

"Well... all right, but why?"

"I haven't got time to tell you now, I've got to answer this quickly —" Hermione left right away.

 "You know what? I reckon I hate it when she does that too," Mel groaned.

"Are you coming?" Harry asked Ron, he shook his head miserably.

"I can't come into Hogsmeade at all, Angelina wants a full day's training. Like it's going to help — we're the worst team I've ever seen." 

"How come you're not staying?" Harry asked her.

"I trained yesterday with Jack so I could go to Hogsmeade with Fred," Mel said, suddenly remembering why she was so tired. "I can't believe I woke up and didn't remember! I've been planning this for days..."

"Mel's alright," Ron sulked. "She's got a good broom and her aim is decent, but we're still struggling... I dunno why Angelina won't just let me resign..."

"It's because you're good when you're on form, that's why," said Harry with exasperation, then he turned to Mel. "And you should consider taking a time off, you can go a week without being Umbridge's nightmare."

"You're sounding like Hermione," Mel said, gathering her hair in a ponytail to get it out of the way. "I got this, okay?"

"Lady!" Fred happily approached. "Ready for the best day of your life?"

"You really need to be humbled," Mel replied, pushing her hair back and standing up, waving goodbye to the boys as she left the Great Hall with Fred. 

"You're one to talk, your majesty," Fred mocked.

"Can we go to the owlery first? I forgot to send Mum's present..."

"George and I sent it last Wednesday!" 

"Why are you sending presents to my mum?" She frowned

"Because we like her," Fred raised a brow, "And I should be nice to my mother-in-law, shouldn't I? — Oof!"

"You're coming, or not?" Mel said.   

"Yeah, sure — Merlin, you're getting stronger..." He rubbed his arm. "All that practice is paying off..."

"Hermione wants to meet in the three broomsticks later on the day," She ignored his comment. "You could come with me but you don't have to..."

Fred shrugged. 

"George, Lee and I were planning to buy stuff anyway," He smirked. "We've run out of almost everything. You really are taking this war against Umbridge quite seriously, aren't you?"

"Well, Sirius did ask me to have fun," She grinned.

"You think it's a good idea to visit Madam Puddifoot's shop?" He asked loudly as they ran away from the rain.

"Oh god, no," Mel grimaced. "That place reminds me of Umbridge's office, so cheesy..."

"You used to like cheesy!" He shook his head. "Just thought I should mention it, that's where the couples go..."

"We shouldn't go anywhere we don't like," Mel responded. "I mean, not that we're following rules anyway..."

"Not that we're a real couple either," Fred snorted.

The whole day had been like any other, the only difference being that it was just the two of them, and they were having fun. Although maybe there was one thing she'd been trying to ignore for a while.

Things were moving forward at an alarming speed in other aspects of her life: Harry and she still weren't the friends they used to be and she certainly didn't feel comfortable enough to talk about her love life in front of him, but it was time to talk about it with someone, it was driving her mad.

Fred was extrovert and funny, but he knew when Mel needed to have a serious conversation and how to support her. Mel could stop him from doing really wild things, she was still the only girl the twins listened to. They had lots of fun together... but they weren't in love.

She'd expected to fall for Fred, even if she was the first to claim it was out of the question. Part of her secretly hoped for the day when she would look into his eyes and realize she was head over heels, but that moment was yet to arrive. 

Maybe she could talk about it with Erick, though they had promised not to bring up the romantic side of their lives during their study sessions because it was making Erick rather grumpy lately, and she didn't want to fight with him. Either way, Mel needed to talk about her situation with Fred soon. She knew this whole thing didn't have a future, and she was done pretending.

"You're awfully quiet," Fred mentioned as they walked into the three broomsticks, emptying his pockets of the wrappers of sweets they had shared during the day. "Something on your mind?"

"No," She lied. "Just... I'm comfortable with my life right now, you know?"

If she could, she'd keep this situation going for the rest of her school years, but it wasn't fair to Fred and it wasn't fair to her either. Nevertheless, there would be better days to bring that up than on Valentine's day.

"Glad to hear you're the happiest girl on earth since you kissed me," He joked.

"That's debatable."

"Don't ruin our moment, Lady."

"Anyway..." She grinned. "Thank you for the date, I'll see you around..."

"No problem," Fred winked. "If you end your thing with Hermione before it's time to go back, feel free to join us."

"Alright," She nodded. 

When Fred left, she ran into the strangest scene she'd ever seen in her life: 

Hermione, Luna, Harry and Rita Skeeter, all seated at the same table. Mel wondered if maybe she was dreaming, but once she was standing right in front of the group, she realized not even her could come up with such a strange thing.

"This is by far the weirdest view of the day, and I walked past Madam Puddifoot's a few minutes ago," She said jokingly. 

"Where's Fred?" Hermione asked her. 

"Had plans with George and Lee, didn't want to hold him back since I didn't know how long this would take... And it looks like it's going to take a while."

"I'm sorry," Harry said, but he didn't sound sorry at all. 

"Doesn't matter," Mel shrugged, untying her hair and feeling it splash freezing cold water on her back. "Merlin, I need a haircut..."

She sat down between Harry and Hermione and smiled at the woman in front of her. 

"Rita," She greeted. "You look awful."

"Dumbledore girl," Skeeter said in the same tone. "Are those dark circles under your eyes meant to match your mental state?"

"Nah, I wear them for fun," Mel raised her eyebrows. "Whenever I feel like looking crazy I hex people, would you like to be my victim for the day?"

"That's enough," Hermione scolded them. "We're not here to have a go at each other."

"Why are we here, then?"

"Little Miss Perfect was just about to tell me when you arrived," said Rita. "I suppose I'm allowed to talk to them, am I?" 

"Yes, I suppose you are," said Hermione. "But don't call Mel crazy again, you know that's not true."

"Where's Cho?" Mel asked, noticing Harry was alone.

"I... er— She didn't want to come," He replied awkwardly.

"Pretty girl, is she, Harry?" Rita questioned, then she added. "And you're dating some Fred, are you, Mel? Weren't you two together?"

"One more word about their love life and the deal's off and that's a promise," Hermione snapped.

"What deal? You haven't mentioned a deal yet, Miss Prissy, you just told me to turn up. Oh, one of these days..." 

"Yes, yes, one of these days you'll write more horrible stories about Harry and Mel, and me. Find someone who cares, why don't you?" 

"They've run plenty of horrible stories about these two this year without my help— How has that made you feel, Harry? Betrayed? Distraught? Misunderstood? What about you, Mel?" 

"They feel angry, of course. Because Harry's told the Minister of Magic the truth and the Minister's too much of an idiot to believe him, and Mel has done nothing to gain that awful reputation," Hermione replied.

"Well, dunno 'Mione, some classmates might disagree," Mel said in a low, playful tone.

"So you actually stick to it, do you, that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back? You stand by all this garbage Dumbledore's been telling everybody about You-Know-Who returning and you being the sole witness — ?"

"What my uncle said isn't garbage," The girl argued. "It's the truth."

"And I wasn't the sole witness," Harry said roughly. "There were a dozen-odd Death Eaters there as well. Want their names?"

"I'd love them," Rita opened her bag once more and this time Hermione didn't stop her. "A great bold headline: 'Potter Accuses...' A subheading: 'Harry Potter Names Death Eaters Still Among Us.' And then, beneath a nice big photograph of you: 'Disturbed teenage survivor of You-Know- Who's attack, Harry Potter, 15, caused outrage yesterday by accusing respectable and prominent members of the Wizarding community of being Death Eaters...' "

"I doubt any of them will be respectable after this," Mel muttered.

Rita stopped abruptly, her smile fading.

"Of course... Little Miss Perfect wouldn't want that story out there, would she?"

"As a matter of fact," said Hermione, smiling at Rita, "that's exactly what Little Miss Perfect does want."

Rita, Mel and Harry stared at her. Luna hummed quietly without caring about the little discussion happening, her eyes glued to her drink.

"You want me to report what he says about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" Rita breathed.

"Yes, I do. The true story. All the facts. Exactly as Harry reports them. He'll give you all the details, he'll tell you the names of the undiscovered Death Eaters he saw there, he'll tell you what Voldemort looks like now — oh, get a grip on yourself!" The girl exclaimed after Rita accidentally spilt firewhiskey on her lap at the mention of the wizard. "Mel will tell you all about Barty Crouch Jr. and how Fudge ruined any chances of being a decent Minister, and how Umbridge is doing awful things to the school."

"The Prophet wouldn't print it. In case you haven't noticed, nobody believes their cock-and-bull story. Everyone thinks they're delusional," Skeeter pointed out. "Now, if you let me write the story from that angle —"

"We don't need another story about how Harry and Mel lost their marbles! We've had plenty of those already, thank you! I want them given the opportunity to tell the truth!"

"There's no market for a story like that."

"You mean the Prophet won't print it because Fudge won't let them."

"All right, Fudge is leaning on the Prophet, but it comes to the same thing. They won't print a story that shows Harry and the Dumbledores in a good light. Nobody wants to read it. It's against the public mood. This last Azkaban breakout has got people quite worried enough. People just don't want to believe You-Know-Who's back."

"So the Daily Prophet exists to tell people what they want to hear, does it?" 

"The Prophet exists to sell itself, you silly girl."

"My dad thinks it's an awful paper," Luna finally intervened. "He publishes important stories that he thinks the public needs to know. He doesn't care about making money."

"I'm guessing your father runs some stupid little village newsletter? 'Twenty-five Ways to Mingle with Muggles' and the dates of the next Bring-and-Fly Sale?"

"No, he's the editor of The Quibbler."

Rita snorted. 

"Important stories he thinks the public needs to know'? I could manure my garden with the contents of that rag!" 

"Well, this is your chance to raise the tone of it a bit, isn't it?" said Hermione. "Luna says her father's quite happy to take Harry's interview. That's who'll be publishing it."

"The Quibbler!" Rita chortled. "You think people will take them seriously if they're published in The Quibbler?"

"Some people won't, but the Daily Prophet's version of the Azkaban breakout had some gaping holes in it. I think a lot of people will be wondering whether there isn't a better explanation of what happened, and if there's an alternative story available, even if it is published in a... in a — well, an unusual magazine — I think they might be rather keen to read it."

"Can't say it's not a good idea," Mel shrugged. "The Ministry'll be stuck. If they act against it people will notice it, if they ignore it people will read it anyway. They don't get to win."

"All right, let's say for a moment I'll do it," Rita said. "What kind of fee am I going to get?" 

"I don't think Daddy exactly pays people to write for the magazine," said Luna. "They do it because it's an honor, and, of course, to see their names in print."

"I'm supposed to do this for free?" Rita asked in outrage.

"Well, yes. Otherwise, as you very well know, I will inform the authorities that you are an unregistered Animagus. Of course, the Prophet might give you rather a lot for an insider's account of life in Azkaban..."

"And you kind of owe it to us, Rita," Mel smiled sweetly. "After all the shit you pulled last year."

"I don't suppose I've got any choice, have I?" She spat, leaving her parchment on the table and preparing her quill. 

"Daddy will be pleased," said Luna happily.

"Okay, guys?" said Hermione, turning to them. "Ready to tell the public the truth?"

Mel and Harry looked at each other.

"My uncle will be pissed," She said. 

But after a second, they realized they didn't care what Dumbledore had to say. They had been acting in the shadows for far too long, it was time to reach out. Harry smiled a little, looking back at Hermione.

"We're ready," said Harry.

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @kylosleftbuttcheek @reverse-hxlland @bloodorangemoonlight @omiwashere @t-rexs-world​ @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​ @21bruhs @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @dielgonacoffee

[jamies-overalls]

Hi, can you write a oneshot where Dani faints because she hasn't eaten all day, Jamie finds her and she is worried and as soon as Dani wakes up she first "forces" her to eat and then "scolds" her because she hasn't taken care of herself and made her worry? Thanks ❤

I love protective Jamie. Thank you for the prompt! TW for not eating/forgetting to eat.

Some days with the children were busier than others. Weekdays were especially busy because the children had lessons and Dani was to teach them. Oftentimes, she simply forgot to eat or was kept on her toes by the children and didn’t get the chance. Of course, she made sure that Miles and Flora got their meals, but she often spent mealtimes planning activities or lessons for them and forgot about herself. 

One particular day, she hadn’t had much to eat for breakfast before getting distracted, and she’d only really had dinner the day before. It was autumn and flu season, so when she started feeling a bit off halfway through the morning. Figuring she could ignore it, Dani continued the lesson she was teaching and helped the children through activities for another hour or so. It wasn’t until she stood up from where she was kneeling by Flora’s desk and felt the floor moving beneath her feet that she realized something was very wrong. 

“I, uh... I think it’s time for a break.” Dani said quietly, holding tight to the back of Flora’s chair. “Why don’t you two... go play. I’ll come get you when it’s time for... lessons.” The room seemed to be spinning now.

“Miss Clayton, are you alright? Should I go get Hannah?” Miles asked with a frown. Dani shook her head a little too quickly.

“No, no... I’m just a bit tired. Go on and play.” Dani said softly. The children shrugged and headed off, not knowing any better. 

Dani closed her eyes and tried to take deep breaths, moving to sit in the chair next to her. It was no use. She ended up missing the chair completely and falling to the floor as she passed out. 

She woke a few minutes later to a worried Jamie leaning over her. 

“Dani? Dani, are you alright?” The gardener asked, her hands gentle as she helped Dani sit up. 

“I, um...” Dani shook her head. “I don’t know, I just sort of... passed out. I think I’m okay, though.”

“Passing out is not an indicator of being okay, Poppins.” Jamie said, checking her over for bruises where she’d fallen. 

“I’ve been feeling odd all day, I’m not really sure why.” Dani shrugged.

Jamie touched Dani’s forehead gently. No fever, nothing to indicate any visible illness like a cold. 

“You slept pretty well last night, didn’t you?” She asked gently. Dani nodded. She had, she’d slept like a rock. she usually did if Jamie was beside her. That ruled out sleep deprivation. Then, Jamie looked like a realization had hit. “Have you had breakfast? I don’t remember seeing you eat at all today.” 

Dani paused, then sighed. “I had a few bites of an apple, maybe. The kids sorta distracted me. I had to plan a lot of stuff today, so I didn’t really eat.” 

“Are your days usually like this? I only really see you at dinner...” Jamie said gently, looking increasingly worried.

“Yeah...” Dani admitted. She expected something of a lecture from her girlfriend, but was met instead with the gentlest of hugs. 

“Oh, love... Why didn’t you say something? If you need time to plan things at night, I’ll leave you alone, or I can watch the children for an hour a day so you have time to plan, whatever you need. I’m sure Hannah wouldn’t mind helping, either.” Jamie’s tone wasn’t anything but kind and supportive. She wasn’t judgmental at all. Dani wondered briefly how she managed to finally be with someone who simply cared for her, no matter what was going on.

“I don’t know... I didn’t want to bother you. You’ve got work to do, just as much as I do. And so does Hannah. I didn’t want to have to bother you all with it.” 

Jamie kissed her forehead gently. “I’m always happy tp help, with whatever you need. And if you need an hour away from the children you so can plan lessons and things for them, I fully understand and I will do whatever I can to help.”

Dani just nodded, not sure what else to say. Once she was feeling a little better, Jamie helped her downstairs to the kitchen where Owen made her a nice meal. While she ate and Jamie kept an eye on her, Owen himself went to go check on the children. 

“I love you so much, Dani...” Jamie said quietly after they had sat in silence for a few minutes. “And I know you didn’t mean to, but please don’t scare me like that ever again. I came to look for you because Miles told me he was worried, so I went up to the room and you were just lying there... And after everything that’s happened here the past few years, I got scared that something had happened, that you’d been hurt, and I--” She cut herself off, just shaking her head. Dani paused her eating for just a moment to reach for Jamie’s hand.

“Hey... I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’ll get better at the eating, too. You’re right, I do need to make time for it. I hadn’t realized how much it was affecting me.” She said softly.

And things did get better from there. It wasn’t always easy, but they all made an effort to try and make it work. Owen even made her snacks and things to have with her during the day in case she did miss an actual meal. And Jamie, her beautiful endlessly supportive Jamie, sat with her while she made lesson plans each night, just keeping her company and making sure she got the work she needed to do done. Dani had never felt so loved by her family before. And they were her family, though none of them were related to her by blood. They were her family, through and through. And they were the best family in the universe.

[merryfortune]

Alexithymia

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS

Ship: Ryoken/Spectre

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,799

Tags: Canon Compliant, Knights of Hanoi as Found Family, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Abandonment Issues, Attachment Disorders, Selective Mutism

Synopsis:  Ryoken becomes worried for Spectre when his behaviour deviates, and even regresses, after the defeat of Bohman.

  Ryoken was relieved to log out from the Link VRAINS after Playmaker had won against Bohman. He had been relieved to simply have been revived, standing in the plaza with Spectre by his side, smiling as people’s very souls were restored to them after being taken for the Neuron Link but being able to breathe air – even heavily recycled, air conditioned air – of the office filled him with relief and gratitude.

  Ryoken got up from his seat and Spectre finally opened his eyes. Ryoken wanted to pounce on him with a hug as soon as he did that, but Spectre was fussy, always had been and Ryoken thought he always would be. So, he gave Spectre a moment and then he looked towards Ryoken. There was an indescribable emotion on the blue surface of his iris; his lips twitched.

  “We did it.” Ryoken said. “We lived. The vast majority of the Ignis have perished; the Light Ignis’s faction is a threat no more. We did it.”

  “Yes, congratulations.” Spectre’s voice sounded indescribable.

  Ryoken beamed. “I’m so happy right now, thank you, for everything, all your efforts.”

  He couldn’t contain himself. Yes, the issue of the Dark Ignis remained but for now, now was a time of victory and celebration, no matter how small or what ills were to follow. Ryoken sat down next to Spectre and hugged him. Spectre stiffened as the touch, as Ryoken’s arms came around him and held him. Ryoken sighed. Spectre flinched.

  “Please, sir, stop…” Spectre murmured.

  Ryoken receded slightly and he gazed up at Spectre who looked most uncomfortable, even frightened, by his embrace.

  “Are you alright…?” Ryoken asked and he swallowed a lump in his throat.

  “It hurts.” Spectre admitted in a tiny voice. “It hurts when you do that.”

  He wanted to get away so Ryoken let him. Ryoken straightened up and the atmosphere turned awkward. Ryoken hadn’t thought that he would be squeezing Spectre so hard that it would hurt, and it wounded him that he had yet neither said a word. There was silence save for the whirring of the air conditioner on the far wall. Spectre pointedly looked the other way, but he could feel when Ryoken stole looks at him.

  “Are you okay?” Ryoken asked again.

  Spectre attempted to reply but his words came out a stutter, confused and agitated until he finally gave up and changed the subject. “You said Playmaker defeated Bohman but what of you? What happened after I-” He couldn’t bring himself to say it.

  “If you can stomach it, I’m sure the Lieutenants may have recordings of the duels that took place after your loss.” Ryoken said.

  “I would rather hear it from you first.” Spectre replied with a terse exhale.

  “Of course, as you wish.”

  Ryoken then went on to explain the events which followed after Spectre’s loss. Some of it made him laugh, some of it harrowed him, but there was an oddness to his reactions, a certain detached callousness, which Ryoken couldn’t deny despite how much he wanted to. He wasn’t certain but he could tell. Something about Spectre was off but he couldn’t confirm it until later. When their conversation finished up, they were both famished, and the Lieutenants had returned so they had a meal together.

  The fridge had been stocked up with the best and even though the kitchen was tiny, there was an atmosphere of celebration. Aso, Kyoko, and Genome: they all agreed that with the vast majority of the Ignis terminated, it was time to take the victory no matter how meagre. Spectre merely sat and watched. It was eerie and yet, the Lieutenants hardly seemed to notice but its not like Spectre was a big personality. He was a small one. A wisp of the thing and right now, he just wanted to sit at the dining table chair and watch with a rather blank expression.

  Ryoken kept reminding himself to keep glancing towards him, keep checking on him but he couldn’t bring himself to ask for Spectre’s opinion on things. He was reasonably certain that even if he were to ask, then he would merely be stalled out or lied to. He could forgive Spectre either way for that, those were two cores of his character, after all, but Ryoken still cared for him very deeply.

  “Thank you.” Spectre said when Kyoko put a plate of food in front him. He didn’t smile.

  “Your welcome.” Kyoko replied but she glanced at Ryoken, she had noticed as well.

  No one in this so-called household was a gourmet chef but if there was anyone who came close, it would have been Spectre. He cared deeply about his produce and how it was treated, he wanted it to be certain that they were treated with care and respect, so he typically produced the best meals. Not for this luncheon, at least.

  Everyone sat at the table and thanked each other for the meal, for surviving, and so forth. The Lieutenants ate ravenously and at the other end, of both the table and the spectrum, Spectre barely ate with Ryoken truly in between. Spectre finished first and then retired to his bed on the yacht; no one stopped him. So, no one did the dishes, either, since after eating, everyone wanted to sleep.

  Ryoken left his plate and crockery on the sink then slunk off. He and Spectre shared a twin room and he was quiet as he entered it. There wasn’t much space physically between the two beds since it was kind of cramped on the yacht, but it felt a lot bigger as Ryoken’s eyes settled on how defensive Spectre seemed, lying on his side with his back to the door. Ryoken’s anxieties just worsened.

  But it was nothing compared to when he managed to confirm and get a better grapple on what Spectre was feeling at present. Or if he was even feeling anything at all.

  The following day, they all woke up at weird times, feeling groggy and bad so Ryoken, against everyone’s wishes, they wanted to lie low and eat some more, and maybe do the dishes if they were feeling really daring but he convinced them otherwise. He returned the yacht to the marina and at dusk, he dragged everyone off the yacht and sent them on their ways. To do anything for an hour and then they would be back.

  Ryoken was hoping that even Spectre would go off and do his own thing but very sullenly, he insisted that he would prefer to shadow Ryoken, so he did. So, Ryoken donned the choice of doing something that he thought Spectre would like, even for a little while and he figured there was no choice more obvious than walking along the pier, they had planter boxes and sculptures and similar. He thought surely that would perk Spectre up, even a little, but he was wrong. Really wrong.

  Spectre followed at a few paces and Ryoken couldn’t bring himself to grab Spectre’s hand and all but make it a date. But Ryoken was afraid that he might hurt Spectre again, like when he had hugged him yesterday. He stood in front of one planter box and looked out to the water which shone with the oncoming hues of dusk. He pointed at the flowers. He thought they were pretty, all their tiny buds and the wiry stems of a grey-green.

  “Hey, Spectre, can you tell me any fun facts about this variety?” he asked. He thought that they were peonies, but he wasn’t sure.

  Spectre caught up and he instead mumbled, “I don’t like the crowd here.”

  Ryoken glanced around. There were less people here than he thought; maybe they were all crammed inside the bars and restaurants along the pier. But he nodded. He knew that Spectre had never been overly fond of public places and big crowds and all their social batteries were running on empty. It was understandable; it was also excusable.

  “Okay,” Ryoken replied, a little downhearted and rejected, “let’s go home.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Spectre sounded a little bit happier.

  Ryoken had wanted to linger longer along the pier but if Spectre wanted to go home, then they would both go home. They walked back and again, Spectre remained a few steps behind Ryoken. Normally, he didn’t mind, but it felt more indicative of something else given the events of yesterday.

  At dinner, Spectre hardly ate again and was the first to retire to bed, Ryoken gave him the space he clearly wanted by washing the dishes but the repetitiveness of cleaning up today and yesterday’s meals, gave him too much time to be inside his head worrying about Spectre. After finishing up, wiping down his hands, Ryoken retired to his and Spectre’s room. He saw that Spectre was sleeping on his side again. It was still unusual, he tended to prefer to sleep on his back and it made Ryoken wonder, was he actually asleep?

  So, he prompted him, “Spectre?”

  “Yes, sir?” he replied tiredly.

  “Are you sure you ate enough today?” Ryoken asked. “There’s snacks in the pantry if you want them.”

  “I’m quite right, thank you for your concern.” He sounded scripted.

  “Why is that?” Ryoken asked and he already feared the truth, should he elicit it at all.

  “It’s simple.” Spectre scoffed. “Losers don’t eat.”

  There it was. Ryoken was surprised that Spectre had said that at all, but he was glad to be told the truth, no matter how terribly electrifying, like a live wire come loose.

  Ryoken settled on the bed. He wondered if now and here the right time for those sorts of conversations. He stole another look at Spectre. It was obvious he just needed time to lick his wounds and have some space. Ryoken closed his eyes and held the sheet up right, lying the other way to Spectre.

  Dealing with him had been easier when he was a child. When he didn’t know all their tricks. When he had come to the mansion, and when the Lieutenants had actually managed to speak with one of the good doctor’s darling test subjects, it became increasingly obvious that there was something wrong with this child’s psyche. And that aberration had already been there long before he had been their test subject in the Hanoi Project.

  Ryoken recalled that he would sometimes be schooled by the assistants in order to coach Spectre, engage him in therapy play and the like. Ryoken helped to teach Spectre his own emotions and the like, playing in very staged games and the like but at least in the moment, Spectre had never noticed because he had never really played with another child before. Eventually, once he had gotten good at it, they started him on identifying emotions and the like in other people and for better or worse, he had gotten very good at that as he had a naturally calculative mind.

  But they weren’t children anymore and for better or worse, though he would deny it, possibly, Spectre had agency and, no doubt in his mind, Ryoken was both therapy and better than therapy. He would never own up to what he was feeling until he had repressed it and gotten better at masking and mirroring – like he had done in the Link VRAINS, Ryoken realised now. He knew there had been something a little too good about how Spectre had smiled there, in a cascade of glowing, golden specks. He had smiled a little too wide. He just wanted to be praised for going through the motions, following Ryoken’s sincere and earnest grin. So happy to be alive.

 A few weeks passed like this. A sort of in-between where the pallor of awkwardness had receded slightly so Ryoken tested his waters again. It occurred to him that maybe the Earth Ignis, who was now wholly and utterly gone, had been holding up more of Spectre’s emotions than either of them had ever realised. Of course, there were other possibilities too. Maybe it was just a depressive slump, maybe it was something else with its roots in Spectre’s childhood and infancy, but either way, they to get back into the network and continue their mission. The Dark Ignis was still at large and therefore, still posed a threat and had to be eradicated. Yusaku was the only thing that stood between them and the final bout of their goal.

  However, more mundanely, Ryoken hoped that exposing Spectre to people he knew, even if he wasn’t particularly close to them or even liked them, might inspire a change in him. Ryoken had been observing Spectre and he had taken to routine again, that was good. Getting up early, going to bed late, and doing all the errands and the like in between but he hadn’t absorbed back into his hobbies or the like which was worrying.

  At least he came along with Ryoken on that particular mission. Ryoken wouldn’t have forced him if he said no as it wasn’t his thing at the best of times and in consolidation, Ryoken didn’t drag it out either. He said his hellos, he asked about the Ignis, he did his best to ignore Takeru who was hanging out at Café Nagi as well.

  But it was just him who had said his hellos and said his bit. He had been hoping that Spectre would say something – anything, even just a hello – but alas. He just stood behind him at a few paces with a grumpy, scrunched up sort of expression.

  They returned to the yacht not long after. Ryoken picked up two iced teas for them elsewhere, one for himself and one for Spectre, because Spectre wasn’t much of a coffee drinker, and especially not from Café Nagi, and whilst he didn’t really want it, he appreciated it. But both the one-use plastic drinks ended up on the table and they retired to their room together.

  They sat on the edge of their bed; their feet almost meeting in the middle, but Spectre had angled himself away from Ryoken because regardless of if Spectre wanted it, Ryoken wanted to confront the weirdness between them.

  “I’m sorry.” Ryoken started.

  “Don’t.” Spectre intoned sharply but oddly disappointed.

  “I noticed your mutism flared up around Playmaker and Soulburner earlier…” Ryoken said, and also at the iced tea kiosk but he didn’t mention that.

  “Yes…” Spectre murmured.

  “I just want to know,” Ryoken said, “is there anything I can do for you? I’m just really worried about you.”

  “I know…” Spectre murmured. “I’m just having a hard time collecting my thoughts as of late.”

  “I can tell.” Ryoken replied.

  Spectre hazarded a smile because he knew that’s what Ryoken was likely probing him for.

  “If you think of anything, anything at all, I want to help.” Ryoken said.

  “I’d like to hear it.” Spectre blurted out suddenly, eyes watering. “I want to hear you say you won’t leave me behind or abandon me, please.”

  Ryoken blinked. He was surprised but he also wasn’t surprised, so his expression softened.

  “I won’t ever leave you behind, I promise, you mean the world to me Spectre, if I were to abandon you, I would be abandoning my whole world, please believe me when I say that, I love you.” Ryoken replied and then he realised what he had said. “You don’t have to say it back to me, don’t feel pressured, please.”

  “I love you too.” Spectre said in a tiny voice and he smiled. It was small and twitchy and even a little uncertain but Ryoken knew it was genuine.

  Ryoken smiled. “Can I hug you?” he asked. “Please.”

  Spectre flashed him a look that made him look very fawnish and hurt but he instead said, “No.”

  “Oh.” Ryoken murmured. Not quite a gasp but he couldn’t be surprised. It was Spectre’s decision; he would respect it even if it made his heart flutter.

  “I want to hug you.” Spectre said with clarification, but he still carried this odd look about him.

  Spectre got up and he sat next to Ryoken. His heart hammered in his chest. Ryoken felt similarly. Spectre hefted his legs up and he cuddled in, holding Ryoken at the bottom of his waist. He had this very petulant look of dislike on his face, but he closed his eyes. He listened to the swift beating of Ryoken’s heart. Ryoken smiled and put his arms around Spectre.

  “Does it hurt?” Ryoken asked in a quiet voice.

  “No, it doesn’t.” Spectre replied as a whisper.

  Ryoken wanted to reply but he was fairly certain that his gladness was already conveyed as Spectre continued to settle. He didn’t seem all that uncomfortable anymore so Ryoken patted his back, stroking him gently.

[muwur]

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

 oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡  “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡  “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself  

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial.  You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more  of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get  to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u  or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it  right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note  rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all  , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

[inspirationdivine]

Ruthless || Lydia and Ariana

Timing: Now Parties: @letsbenditlikebennett @inspirationdivine Summary: Ariana confronts Lydia Warnings: domestic abuse discussion, reference to gun use

The only thing stronger than the crushing guilt was the fiery anger that seemed to roar anytime Ariana dared to think of Lydia. Every ounce of common sense she had was telling her this was a terrible idea, but she didn’t care. The worst had already happened, what more could Lydia possibly do to hurt her? A large part of her wanted to rip Lydia from limb to limb and make her pay for what she’d done to Ace. The only thing that was remotely holding her back was the promise she’d made to Ace when they first talked about all of this. She didn’t know what she was going to do, but she needed some sort of… Hell, she had no idea what she needed, but she’d figure it out when she got there. There was no sense of caution in her as she marched up Lydia’s driveway and banged loudly on her front door. 

Already, Lydia had construction workers downstairs, filling up the secret tunnel that had apparently been there decades without anyone noticing. Her nightmares had adopted a new quality, with teeth and glowing eyes. The death of Winn Woods was no longer on the news, but it had started haunting her this week and this week alone, thinking about that silver bullet piercing right through him. Wondering whether it had hurt, that split moment. Whether he had been afraid, or lonely. Maybe he had known, maybe he hadn’t, he had thought he could escape his past right until he hadn’t. He hadn’t been born a werewolf, but he had been one all the same. The thoughts went around and around in her head, like a spinning top. She didn’t just think about Winn Woods. 

Mushroom season would peak this year on a full moon. Wasn’t there something ironic in that?Every day, the pollen called on her a little harder, enticing her closer and closer to the local fairy rings. It tickled her skin, bounced her legs. Just yesterday, she’d promise bound three young men to do the macarena until their legs fell off. She was frenetic, and furious. Lydia stared at the email she had been writing for the past two hours listlessly. Jeremiah and Mohammed had quit their security positions as soon as they had smelled what had happened, so two new guards had come in. Pushing the thought away, Lydia tried to return to describing her in-depth paint analysis services, to confirm authenticity. She’d barely written another word when someone banged on the door. Lydia reached for her phone, checking the camera. Ariana, the young werewolf. Her stomach soured as she put on her best, cruelest smile and went to answer. “Ariana, darling, why don’t you come in!” The little girl was a thief after all.

Whatever this was, Ariana didn’t understand it and practically spat out, “Don’t call me darling.” Already, she could feel the hum of a low growl threaten to rise its way up to her throat. Her claws were practically screaming under her skin to come out and spill Lydia’s blood the way she had spilled Ace’s. Only a small part of her could register 

that going in was a bad idea, but she needed Lydia to pay for this. The only one more at blame for what happened to Ace was her and she couldn’t just get away with this. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she huffed out, “Fine.” There was no reluctance as she followed her in. This wasn’t a conversation meant for the neighbors to overhear. There was no holding back the anger that was brewing under the surface and she demanded, “What’d you do with him?” She wasn’t sure she really wanted to know the answer outside of the gun wounds, but her own actions had led to this. She should have just told Athena about Lydia then none of this would have had the chance to happen. 

This explained it, then. Why Ariana had been sneaking about, who had bitten Sammy. All of it made sense now. Which meant they’d been conspiring against her much longer than Lydia had ever realised. She wanted to wring Chloe’s neck for this, for ever even having put them in this situation, but she needed Chloe until at the very least she could secure a full house once more, so the woman would have to stay. For now. Lydia caught O’s eye as she walked past them, tilting her head so that the zombie would follow. It was still close to the full moon, after all. Lydia led the both of them through to her office, where she promptly sat back at her desk, scrutinising the girl. “I won’t be shouted at in my own home,” Lydia said, with a lightness that didn’t match the situation, as if they were arguing about where Lydia left her bins, rather than murder. Killing a human, Lydia quickly corrected herself. “I think the question is rather, what did you do to him?” 

“I’m hardly shouting at you,” Ariana huffed with her arms crossed squarely over her chest. This wasn’t even close to loud for her. Lydia didn’t want to see loud or stare down the face of a transformed wolf. Every instinct in her wanted to just rip her to shreds, but that wasn’t the way to go about this. She rolled her eyes at the fae’s question. “Seriously? What did I do to him? You kept him in your basement and murdered him and you’re asking what I did to him?” How could she possibly be thinking what Ari had done to him was wrong? He wanted to be a wolf. He wanted a life outside her fucking basement. She’d been trying to help him when all Lydia wanted to do was keep her meals around for far too fucking long. Her blood was boiling under her skin and she answered, “I bit him because he was my friend and he wanted me to.”  

What a petulant child. It was the only thought Lydia could muster inside her, all that rage and betrayal fizzing right under her skin. Lydia had been deprived here more than anyone else, and this girl was rolling her eyes at her?Lydia tapped her acrylic nails against the mahogany desk impatiently. That Ariana was a werewolf at all was the only reason she received even a modicum of Lydia’s patience, although it was already wearing thin. “What, exactly, did you think would happen after?” Lydia asked quietly. “What was your grand plan? Did you expect me to starve myself after you removed my sustenance? Did you think he would stay with you once he’d used you to escape? I’m ever so curious.” 

The question Lydia asked next felt like a dagger sinking into her gut. What did Ariana think would happen? The guilt of that question had tormented her for days now and she still didn’t have an answer, but she refused to let Lydia see her cry. To give her any indication that she’d get the upper hand here. She wouldn’t. She’d pay for this somehow even if she had to go down the route of getting Athena involved. “That you wouldn’t eat or kill a werewolf and that oh, I don’t know, he was of course welcome to stay with me. I could introduce you to someone new if I had to,” she grumbled with her fists clenched at her side, “I’m sure as shit not giving you her name now though.” That much was true though the implication that she ever would had been stretching the truth. She had only spoken to Kelly a handful of times since that open mic night, but she still knew she’d feel like shit if she were to send her to her death. “I find it really hard to believe you have to keep your food long term hostage in your home instead of I don’t know, just eating them and being done with it. Seems kind of excessive to play with your food.” 

Lydia glared at her. She hadn’t killed a werewolf. He’d had the bite, it meant nothing, as little as killing someone bitten by a zombie. He hadn’t yet turned. He’d been a threat, he’d- Lydia wasn’t letting this rug rat get to her. “If you had asked for a trade, we wouldn’t be in this situation, my dear. I’m not unreasonable.” Now it was Lydia’s turn to roll her eyes.  “That isn’t how it works, sweet pea. You’re all the same, lecturing me on my diet without any understanding of it. You couldn’t eat an elephant all at once, could you? And yet once you start, well, the elephant is fucked.” Lydia pursed her lips, her false smile an icy sneer. “I hardly have to justify myself to you, do I? I have no doubt you’ve already cast me as an irredeemable villain, simply for having a different diet to yours. Then again, perhaps you have never accidentally snacked on a hiker, so you have all the moral high ground.”

Ariana felt her breath catch in her throat again. She’d wanted so badly for there to be another way that she let herself believe her half-assed plan could work. That there would be an answer to this where no one else got hurt. Who the hell was she to think she could accomplish something like that? Celeste hadn’t been able to and Celeste had been way smarter than she’d ever be. Her lungs felt like they were on fire, but she refused to falter. Not here. Not now. Not in front of her. “Right, because you were so receptive when I showed up here before and not at all full of it,” she remarked. Lashing out felt better than admitting Lydia was right. She should have just brought Kelly here or worse. Athena was still sitting in the second spot on her speed dial. “Don’t call me that,” she spat, “I’m not-- I don’t care that you have to eat people to live. That’s hardly your fault. You just don’t have to be all Silence of the fucking Lambs about it. And no, actually, I haven’t accidentally snacked on a hiker. I’m careful about that shit. I mean… I ate the hunter that killed my sister, but that was on purpose and not the point.” The last part slipped out and she internally groaned. This wasn’t going well, but what did she think would happen? They weren’t alone here and she doubted she could just rip Lydia apart like she so badly wanted to do. 

“You mean when you were trespassing on my property? You weren’t there to bargain, girl, you were there to spy. I should never have been so gentle in the first place,” Lydia retorted sceptically. “Don’t lie. It’s bad enough you’ve caused this mess, don’t make it worse.” Which would sting to hear, wouldn’t it? If Ariana hadn’t interfered, Sammy would be happy. He was content here. As he had told Lydia all the time, what he felt was more than just devotion. She had been his world, and everything had been better that way. “Silence of the lambs?” Lydia scoffed, crossing her arms. “That is a tad dramatic, don’t you think? That said, I’m ever so young for a fae. I’m fascinated to hear what a child has to advise me about how to best prepare my meals.” I’m careful about that shit. Some individuals were so proud of how little danger they were to humans. As if they were living their lives ready to defend themselves to the courts of a Hunter’s ego. It was a great, pathetic source of pride for Ariana, clearly. There was a cheap shot to make there, lined up so well that Lydia opened her mouth to make it searingly, before thinking better of herself. Fury didn’t need to make her cruel. “I am sorry about your sister. I do know what that feels like.”

“Fine, I was spying which was how I figured out what kind of fae you were and went to that stupid open mic night in the first place,” Ariana said as she crossed her arms over her chest for what felt like the millionth time. Why was she here? What was this possibly going to accomplish? This had been another bad idea in her long series of dumbass decisions. Then all of a sudden she couldn’t tell who she was more angry at-- Lydia or herself. “I may have bitten him, but you didn’t have to shoot him,” she retorted though she still felt her stomach doing flips inside of her as she did. She should have gotten better help. She should have done literally anything else, but Lydia could have also just chosen not to kill him, too. “Uh, not really. I don’t know, think you’re old enough to figure out how to find a less serial killer Netflix documentary way of preparing your dinner, Vicky.” Her words were sharp, especially as she emphasized the name she’d found on Lydia’s subreddit. She shifted uncomfortably as Lydia apologized about her sister. It felt all wrong. “Oh,” she started, unsure if this was a trick or something, “No one should have to know what that feels like.” Had Lydia’s sister been as terrible as she was? “That doesn’t make this better. Did you at least bury him or do something?” 

“He would never have survived as a wolf. He didn’t have the constitution for it. He wouldn’t have been happy as one, and he would have grown to resent you in the end. His family are hunters, after all,” Lydia replied, her words as barbed as icicles where Ariana had struck a nerve, “Do you really think he would have been happy, long term, when he spent his whole life learning how wrong we were. All you offered was a flightful fantasy, enough for the moment and no more.” She raised her eyebrows at the reference to a different name. It should be mildly concerning that Ariana had found it, or had even bother to in the first place, but it was laughable the way the girl threw it as an insult when it had been a name Lydia had chosen for herself. The tone sombered, dead siblings lingering in the air. “I took care of his body.”

Her resolve struggled as Lydia threw the very fears she had this entire time right back in her face. Even if Ariana had managed to save him, what if Alcher and Lydia were both right and he just ended up hating her for it? He probably hated her now too and the realization made her feel sick. “You don’t know that,” she responded weakly, not even believing herself at this point. What was she supposed to do now? Her heart felt ready to burst and it was becoming harder to breathe again. No, she wasn’t doing this here. She did her best to maintain a half-assed glare that likely didn’t do much to convince Lydia that she was mad at anyone but herself. “You took care of it,” Her breath hitched in her throat for what felt like the millionth time and she swallowed it back down, “How?” 

“I know him better than you ever would have,” Lydia replied with a poignant shrug. “You could only have met him a handful of times. I felt everything he felt, for more than a year. How could you possibly compare?” Misguided and terrible as this all was, Lydia did feel for the young wolf, naive and deflating under the weight of her actions. Of course, Lydia would have to take precautions, she was still infuriated, but she did feel a twinge of guilt at tearing a child down so effortlessly. Then she remembered that Chloe was refusing to speak because of the situation Ariana had caused, and her mood soured all over. “Why? Do you want to pay your respects?” 

Another surge of anger went through her as Lydia spoke. She didn’t know Ace better, not when she was influencing his emotions and actions. Then again, didn’t Ariana only know the version of him that had been under Lydia’s direction? Suddenly, she felt deflated again. “Yeah, fine. You knew him so well and still,” her voice cracked as she spoke and her mouth felt entirely too dry, “Maybe not as well, but I knew and cared about him, okay? I didn’t-- I just wanted… Fuck.” She could feel her heart thudding heavily against her chest and her clenched fist ready to crash into the next thing she saw. She needed to breathe. She needed to keep control of herself. There were other people here that she didn’t want to hurt. Hell, she didn’t want to hurt Lydia either. Not really as much as she envisioned how good it would feel to rip her to shreds. Her next question drew her out of the rabbit hole she was letting herself fall into. “I-- would you let me?” She asked even though she was almost sure of the answer. 

“You were just spoiled. You tried to take something that wasn’t yours, you don’t get to cry now you broke it. I’m sure you cared, but you were selfish,” Lydia replied harshly, cocking her head back to sneer at Ariana down her nose, looking down on the girl even though she was the one sitting, not Ariana. Lydia sighed, brushing invisible crumbs from her skirt, brushing the entire affair away. Ariana already knew what her answer would be. So that Lydia could let the girl lead someone to incriminating evidence. If she was so soft on a human to deliberately bite him, she would be soft on the wrong kinds of humans too. “I wish things were different, Ariana. I had no desire to take a human you liked away from you. If you wanted to make him your pet so badly, all you had to do was make the trade. I’m already taking more risks than I can afford just trying to pacify you.”

Ariana knew it wouldn’t matter to her that a person couldn’t belong to anyone but themselves. Nothing she said or did mattered anymore. Ace was already dead. Lydia already knew it was her who bit him in the first place. She grumbled, “Yeah, whatever you say Lydia. I don’t know why I bothered coming to talk to you about this.” She’d been so heated, she’d needed some kind of answer, but what she found only confirmed what she already knew. Her actions had essentially sped up the timeline for Ace’s inevitable death. The familiar feeling of lead in her lungs was catching back up to her. The air in here felt too thick and she needed out. “He’s not a-- you know, whatever fine. I don’t see why it’s a risk, but I shouldn’t have even bothered coming here.” 

“I hope you got what you were looking for.” Lydia replied. All of that righteous passion extinguished. Lydia almost felt bad. The girl was friends with Deirdre, perhaps she might find some solace there. Deirdre was good at being kind. Although that would be inconvenient, bringing Morgan into this all too. Morgan was far too human to understand this either, and unlike the welp in front of her, Lydia cared what Morgan thought. “Hmmm, perhaps not, but you have saved me some work in coming, however much trouble you’ve caused.” Lydia narrowed her eyes, sitting forward. Under her desk, her legs jittered. The spores were thick in the air today. “I see that we still don’t see eye to eye. Oh, sweet Ariana, you’ve forgotten you owe me a gratitude.”

Ariana hadn’t been sure what she was looking for, but this certainly wasn’t it. She’d already known Ace was dead. She’d heard the gunshot and smelled his blood. It wasn’t as if Lydia was going to provide any insightful answers or let her properly say goodbye. So she bit her tongue and said nothing. It seemed only now she was reminded of just how dangerous Lydia could be. Athena and Kaden had both warned her of this yet she still stomped over here fueled by grief and rage without any sort of a plan. She felt defeated, but a small spark in her still fired back. “Oh yes, I’m so glad I could save you some work,” she said sarcastically even though her glare was softer now. She’d been ready to walk out the door when she froze. A gratitude was owed. She remembered Kaden mentioning “thank you” could be a dangerous thing to say to a fae, but it had already been too late and she’d been hopeful it hadn’t been something Lydia was actually able to turn into a promise. Her heart felt as is if it was caught in her throat as she looked to Lydia. “What do you want?” 

“For you to get off your moral high horse. For you to pay the price for what you made me do. The danger you put me in.” Lydia paused, her eyes flicking off into the distance as a small smile curled her lips. “You know what? I have had the most amazing idea. It’s ever so fitting. Let the punishment fit the crime, and all that. If you’re so eager to dilute your species by making humans into werewolves, then you should do that. Spend the next full moon in the Common. Or at the very least, start it there. Of course, I expect you not to talk about this situation with anyone.” Lydia shrugged, spinning her chair back and forth, and as another idea struck her, her smile grew. “If you like, once you’ve secured a few humans to fill Sammy’s place in your life, we can talk again, settle our differences and all that.” If they ever got to that. It was the kind of thing that would change Ariana the same way eating her own mother had changed Lydia. She would understand just how cheap human lives were once she’d had a taste of her own. And if she didn’t? That guilt eating her up right now would only magnify, suffocating her until she left, unable to cope. Lydia was fine with both of those options, honestly.

“I didn’t make you do anything,” Ariana snarled as she took a few steps back. She already hated where this was going. Lydia wanted to punish her on top of killing Ace. Seriously? Was she not already struggling enough? Horror crossed her face as Lydia continued. Did she really have to do this? She supposed she wouldn’t really be able to test the waters until then, but she already felt sick. There was no way she could shift in the Common under the full moon and maintain her control. Outside of the moon was one albeit still very difficult thing, but during. Shit. Then she was mentioning settling differences once someone filled Sammy’s place in her life? Something struck her with hearing his name for the first time and so cruelly from her lips. She wanted to rip into her and make all of her promises fucking meaningless, but something was pulling her back. It’d be so easy, to just shift right here and have this be done with, but she couldn’t. Instead, she let her anger simmer inside her and decided she needed to leave before she caused even more damage. “Oh, fuck you,” she said with a newfound ferocity before storming out of the place. She was sure to slam the door behind her, hopefully hard enough to cause some sort of damage.