#‘oh those aren’t real christians’ they are some of the most deeply passionate christians out there. that’s their whole thing

[binders-and-beanies]

Yeah sorry if me not being comfortable w christianity feels oppressive to my oppressors lol. This week a large group of christians, led by a widely supported writer for my city’s newspaper, organized a march where they loudly chanted prayers about lgbt people dying so they can reclaim the city that’s rightfully theirs. Bc there was supposed to be a drag story hour in the library. And then someone placed a “suspicious package” by the library, called in bomb threats serious enough to get multiple blocks shut down, doxxed several local lgbt folk and allies, posted their home addresses calling for their deaths and claimed to have placed bombs in their homes. All in the name of the lord. But yeah me being vocal abt wanting freedom from christianity is the real oppression

[mrsrcbinscn]

Franny’s 30 Day Cover Challenge

Playlist

Franny’s 30 Day Cover Song Challenge: (categories are mostly from here, and here, with some from here, and a couple I made) in September 2020 one of her musician friends challenged her to do the thing and she was like “It seems like a fun way to show everyone what kind of music has influenced me as a musician, singer, songwriter, and just like, person. So I’m going to do it.”

In reality, she recorded most of them in 1-2 days to distract her from how sad she is because Wilbur hates her and he’s sad lmao

It helped a little.

(If you want me to drop the playlist she mentions in #24 let me know, I have it started I can finish it)

TW: mentions of Franny’s political beliefs so tw: politics, an allusion to suicide though the word isn’t directly used, mention of 9/11 and the subsequent invasions...nothing graphic with any of these triggers but worth a forewarning

Day 01 - A song that makes you happy

Honey Spiders by The Parlotones

“The Parlotones are this fantastic indie rock band out of South Africa. And I actually thought about doing their song, uh, Stars Fall Down for day sixteen, but I’m going with Honey Spiders for day 1. There were lots of Parlotones songs, I mean. Push Me to The Floor, We Call This Dancing, Should We Fight Back...but ah, Honey Spiders always puts me in a good mood.”

Day 02 - A song that helps you clear your head

Light of a Clear Blue Morning by Dolly Parton

“I grew up on Dolly, and it’s funny because for the longest time this song wasn’t really on my radar as much as it is now. But when I was twenty-two I was going through something really difficult, and my then-fiance now husband was abroad for work, so I was alone in our apartment and just. Really, profoundly sad and lonely. So I put on a Dolly Parton record and just laid on the bed and Light Of A Clear Blue Morning played and I had a good long cry and felt so much better after that. When I need to think about how to solve a difficult problem, or I feel overwhelmed, I just listen to that song.”

Day 03 - Song you love from a band/artist you hate

Should’ve Been A Cowboy by Toby Keith

“Honestly, he’s called me a nasty lady to my face and I’ve called him a facist enabling pig to his, so I have no qualms openly saying I hate Toby Keith. That being said, Should’ve Been A Cowboy is one of the best country songs of the 90s, undeniably. I loved that song when it came out when I was thirteen, and I still love it.”

Day 04 - A song about drugs or alcohol

Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss

“This is probably cheating, because my lovely best friend Daniel and I cover this a lot at Dara & Danny shows. But today look who I have! My friend Max from Seoul Hanoi’d! Max the Korean Scot who can’t hide his accent to save his life, so let’s see how it sounds in a Scottish accent.”

Day 05 - A protest song

Talking Vietnam Blues by Phil Ochs /// and Here’s to The State of Mississippi by Phil Ochs

“This one was hard because I. Fucking. Love. Protest music. I could have done a whole 30 days of protest music - wow, let me know if I should do that and give my husband a heart attack with all the twitter threats I’ll invite. Huh. Right, so I was going to do Your Flag Decal Won’t Get You Into Heaven by John Prine. But I decided to do two Phil Ochs songs because I don’t think Phil Ochs is talked about enough. It’s a shame we lost him so young. Ochs’ sardonic humor and honesty in his writing has influenced me as a songwriter deeply. When I write political songs, I don’t hold back, and it’s because of Phil Ochs’ writing that I have that courage. I’ve been singing Love Me, I’m A Liberal since I was in college with constantly updating lyrics. It was so hard to even choose which songs of his to do because for his fairly short career his songbook is lengthy and full of gems. I’m Going to Say It Now, Draft Dodger Rag, Spanish Civil War Song, I Ain’t Marching Anymore...I couldn’t pick one so I’m cheating and recording two.”

Day 06 - A song you wish you wrote

When I Think About Cheatin’ by Gretchen Wilson

“I will forever be pissed off that I didn’t write this song. I’m absolute trash for my husband, so it’s never -- I’ve never had to be in a situation to ever consider -- but this song gets me every time. It feels like I could have written it. Because we do spend a lot of time apart travelling for our work. And the sentiment expressed in the song is a little too real.”

Day 07 - A song in a language you don’t speak

Khattar by Khine Htoo

“This will either be a charming attempt to sing in Burmese or I’m about to offend a lot of people. Which, being a politically outspoken woman on the internet, I’m used to anyway. So. 1, 2, 3, okay here goes.”

Day 08 - A song by an artist no longer living

Phop Samnang by Sinn Sisamouth (inspiration)

“Haha, you thought I’d see the name of this category and not do a Sinn Sisamouth song? You were wrong.”

Day 09 - A song you want to dance to at your wedding

Devoted To You by The Everly Brothers

“I’m already married, so this was actually our first dance song at our wedding. Day three of our wedding, like the more Westernized wedding ceremony day. We had a three day long traditional Cambodian wedding and I felt like a princess. An-y-way!”

Day 10 - A song that makes you cry

Borrowed Rooms and Old Wood Floor by Emily Scott Robinson

“Unfortunately, Emily Scott Robinson and I aren’t related. Sad, I know, because she’s so talented. Almost her entire album Traveling Mercies is...sad as hell. The record reminded me of early Dolly Parton, and my second solo album. You know, all those sad-ass songs. The Dress is honestly the song that makes me the saddest but I can’t even listen to it without crying so.”

Day 11 - A song that you love hearing live

Prove My Love  by Violent Femmes

“There is nobody I have seen in concert more than Dolly Parton, but Violent Femmes and George Strait come incredibly close. The Cranberries, the amount of times I saw them in the 90s and early 2000s...close fourth. Probably. The very first concert I dragged my husband to was a Violent Femmes concert, he was not prepared for how hard college me went.”

Day 12 - A song from before 1960 

There Ain’t No Sweet Man That’s Worth The Salt of My Tears by Libby Holman

“This song is from 1928. I came across it when I was in grad school and it’s, as the kids say, a bop.”

Day 13 - A song you think everybody should listen to

White Man’s World by Jason Isbell

“I think perspectives of people of color should of course take precedence in these conversations. But I find this song to be a good faith attempt of a white man coming to terms with the institutional racism and sexism in the world around him. And I think this song can be a useful tool to explain certain concepts of racial justice to ignorant but well-meaning folks. As a woman of color I think Jason Isbell did a great job not centering himself even though it was from his perspective. This song is great musically and necessary socially.”

Day 14 - A song from the 1970s

You’re No Good by Linda Ronstadt

“Linda Ronstadt is grossly underrated, that’s all I have to say here.”

 Day 15 - A song people wouldn’t expect you to like

Racists by Anti-flag

“I mean, I’ve talked about how much I like punk in the past, and I remember a video of Seoul Hanoi’d doing Spanish Bombs at a San Antonio show made the rounds, but I don’t think I’ve talked about how much I like Anti-flag. People don’t expect me to like punk for some reason. But I agree with...everything punk music is all about.”

Day 16 - A song that holds a lot of meaning to you

Blue by LeAnn Rimes

“It’s silly, but I won a county fair singing competition with this song in high school and it really fueled my passion for music, that win. It’s also the first song Cornelius heard me go full Georgia on, with the yodels and all, at the little bar in my hometown on his first trip meeting my parents. The song doesn’t cut to my very soul ot anythin’, but it’s special to me.”

Day 17 - A song attached to a memory

Supernova by Liz Phair

“I remember buying Liz Phair’s Whip-smart album when I was eleven. And in college, when I was getting ready for dates with Cornelius in my dorm room, I would dance around to a CD I burned and wrote on it with a sharpie, ‘Pre-date Movie Scene Music.’ God, what was even on there? I’m about to expose myself as the most basic 1999-2001 bitch. I remember Head Over Feet, I mean, Alanis Morisette? I was a young woman in 2000, obviously I loved her. Mm, Dreams by The Cranberries...oh, Kiss Me, Sixpence None The Richer...yeah, anyway, Supernova was on there.”

Day 18 - A song from the year you were born

Call Me by Blondie

“...I can’t believe Call Me is as old as I am.”

Day 19 - A song that reminds you of someone you miss

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing (yes, of course she does a cover with banjo)

“This was my late best friend Molly’s favorite hymn. And I sang it at her funeral at her husband’s request. Molly and I grew up together in the small town of Payne Lake, Georgia and Molly was the most devout Christian...but she was also the first person I came out to as bisexual when I was a teenager, and she said that Jesus taught her that love was the greatest commandment and that meant I was automatically twice as good at it as her. Her faith guided her every action but she never talked down on her two best friends - Dan(iel Maitland) and I for not sharing it. Molly was doing the whole emulate Jesus thing beautifully. I miss her every day and it’s been seven years. If you ever think that people won’t miss you...you’re wrong. All right, let’s see if I can get through this without crying.”

Day 20 - A song by an artist you discovered this year

Hello, Anxiety by Phum Viphurit

“I just discovered this quirky Thai-Kiwi singer and not to be dramatic, but he’s my favorite thing in the world right now.”

Day 21 - A song with a city or country in the title

Oh! Phnom Penh (track 20)

“This song was written after the fall of the Khmer Rouge, and after people began to make their way to what was left of their homes, alone, or with what was left of their families. If you want to learn more about what that was like to actually live it, my cousin Reena Boran has a video interviewing her parents and paternal grandfather and uncle about it. Reena is a journalism student currently studying in London but she lives in Cambodia. Her mother is my aunt Malisruot, my mother’s youngest sister. The video is English subtitled on her channel, I’ll link it in the description box below.”

Day 22 - A song from the 1960s

To Sir, With Love by Lulu

“I didn’t actually discover this song until I heard it covered at a 10,000 Maniacs concert in the 90s. My friend Allison was standing next to me and I just started crying and she’s like ‘are you okay?’ and all I just blubbered out ‘My dad!’ For the uninitiated, my dad married my mom, who’d raised me alone until then, when I was six and he adopted me when I was eight. My dad didn’t have to adopt me, he didn’t have to call me his daughter, he could have just been like half of my friends’ stepdads and give me a place to live and nothing else. But my dad was my biggest supporter from day one. He convinced my mom to let me join the dance team and show choir instead of science club, he was the one that talked my mom down from probably killing me when they found out I was only studying music and not music and political science at NYU. I am who I am today because he is my dad. And this song just says everything I’ve always thought about him.”

Day 23 - A song from your childhood

Una Lacrima Sul Viso by Bobby Solo

“But Franny, aren’t you a Cambodian raised in the US? Yes, but you were fooled. My very white father is also an immigrant. He is from Switzerland and while he didn’t teach me to speak Italian and German growing up, he played German, Italian, and French records all the time. My parents often spoke to each other in French and I picked up some French but properly studied it starting in high school, and I didn’t study Italian until college -- and my German is still …. [points to a spot on the screen where she later inserted a card linking to a video on her cousin Köbi Framagucci’s YouTube channel titled ‘Can My American Cousin Speak German?’ where he tests her Standard and Swiss German speaking and comprehension]. But hell if I couldn’t sing every one of the songs from my father’s French, German, and Italian record before I knew what the words even meant.”

Day 24 - A song that gives you chill vibes

Glorify by Ivan & Alyosha

“Dan(iel Maitland) and I actually have an entire playlist on my Spotify accounts of songs to listen to to get us out of writers’ block. And one that I often will put on repeat and just absorb through my headphones with my eyes closed is a song called Glorify by Ivan & Alyosha. I think it touches on a lot of the themes I include in my songwriting. Christian mythology, the darker side of humanity, it often reminds me of what I love about songwriting. If you say please I might drop a link to that playlist.”

Day 25 - A song that’s your signature song

Long Gone Lonesome Blues by Hank Williams“Right, so I chose this instead of a Kitty Wells song or I Get A Kick Out of You (her being

featured on a 2005

recording propelled her career majorly) because if you’re familiar with me you might have seen a video that went around in like….2017? 2016? of Dan(iel Maitland) and I doin’ the song at our hometown bar in 2014. I posted it in response to some tweets because hoes mad when a WOC calls out racism and sexism in the Nashville music industry. ‘Bet she don’t even know Hank’, really? You think I wouldn’t know the history of one of the two music industries I work in? Please. Anyway, she knows Hank and nails the incredibly technical yodel -- the

most difficult

one in Hank’s songbook - in Long Gone Lonesome Blues. Mm...Lovesick Blues though, that also strikes fear into my heart. Anyway stay mad I guess?”

Day 26 - A song by your favorite band

Gun Shy by 10,000 Maniacs

“10,000 Maniacs was one of my favorite bands when I was in like 5th grade through 10th. I listened to them for a little while after Natalie Merchant left for a solo career, but the Natalie Merchant era was really what resonated with me the most. Gun Shy was a bit too advanced for my little 5th, 7th grade ears to really appreciate when I first discovered the album In My Tribe. Merchant’s voice -- because like, I don’t have a very conventional voice either, so her and Dolores O’Riordan really changed my entire perspective on what a woman’s voice can sound like in rock music. Um, yeah, so her voice more than the lyrics just wowed me. And as I got closer to graduating high school and especially in college I actually understood what What’s The Matter Here, Hey Jack Kerouac, and Gun Shy were talking about. Gun Shy...really became a significant song to me because...being born in 1980 I grew up in a relatively peaceful time. The Cold War was all but thawed by my tenth birthday. But I was getting ready to leave my then-boyfriend-now-husband’s apartment for class at NYU on the morning of 9/11. We stood in line for hours to donate blood. And then my government invaded two completely unrelated countries and jingoism and terrifying, fervent nationalism, and xenophobia just smacked me in the face. And friends of mine from high school were convicted to drop out of college and join the Army, and died, for an unjust, imperialist war, and suddenly Phil Ochs, John Prine, and Bob Dylan lyrics hit a lot different, and I understood what Gun Shy was really about.”

Day 27 - A song you hate by an artist you love

Mrs.Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel 

“Paul Simon is one of my favorite songwriters ever, um, and I actually used to like Mrs. Robinson….until I got married and everyone sang it at me. It’s kind of my fault, I did choose to take my husband’s last name. And I leaned into it by making my social media handles all Mrs. Robinson...but still. Only play the song around me if you want to die.”

Day 28 - A song that a younger you would have loved

Mean by Taylor Swift

“I’m so genuinely glad that I am older than Taylor Swift. Middle school Franny did not need Taylor Swift to enable me and fuel my ego. Some of her singles, while not really 35 and 40 year old Franny’s cup of tea, young me would have played until my mother hid the record or cassette from me. Although - fuck if Tim McGraw didn’t immediately give my happily married ass flashbacks to my first love and make me bawl like a baby? Right, so when Speak Now came out and I listened to it, Mean, while not a song that adult me has listened to maybe more like ten times, I immediately thought ‘wow, I needed this song when I was in middle and high school.’ I could literally picture 7th grade me with my little guitar and my little cowboy boots my dad bought for me singing this at the talent show making eye contact with the kids who bullied me as if it was some kind of own when it’s not. I could still, almost thirty years later, name them if I really wanted. So, for 7th grade me, Mean by Taylor Swift.”

Day  29- A song that reminds you of your partner/spouse

ផាត់ជាយបណ្តូលចិត្ / Phat Cheay Bon'dol Chet by Sinn Sisamuth (translation) (female singer covering it) (modern, studio recording of a male and female singer dueting it) (a cool violin cover) (another female singer) (cool guitar cover)

Feat. some members of Seoul Hanoi’d. Andy Chaiyaporn (violin), Max Cho (piano), Jodie Batbayar (cello), Aisulu Niyazova-Li (percussion) and Franny has her guitar

“The song, lyrically, only reminds me of my husband a little bit. But Phat Cheay Bondol Chet has several memories with my husband attached to it. The first time he heard me sing in Khmer was at my mother’s house in Atlanta when I had him visit the first time to meet my parents. My mom had a little dinner party at our house to show him off, like Asian moms do when they think their daughter snags a good one, and I was hand washing the dishes while my mom and the other Cambodian parents were listening to Sinn Sisamuth records. I’ve always loved the song I’ll be showing y’all today, like I’ve always just stopped what I was doing and -- so it came on and I just started singing along without really being aware of it. And then at a different diaspora get together that summer, that song came on and I just kinda. Pulled him aside to the side yard of that person’s house to look at the stars with him and translated the song. It’s one of the Khmer songs he instantly recognizes now, so it’s special.”

Franny did NOT say in the video that college her 100% had him sit in the grass with her outside that person’s house, where nobody could see, so she could makeout with him 

 Day 30- A song by one of your favorite songwriters

Reincarnation by Roger Miller

Feat. Seoul Hanoi’d, done more in the style of the Cake cover 

Also instead of singing the lyric “you’re a girl, I’m a boy” she goes “you’re a girl, so am I” because she doesn’t ever change pronouns, she just makes it gay because she is a bi-con

“Roger Miller, to me, is as important as Dolly Parton, Paul Simon, Bob Dylan, in the American songbook. He’s not as talked about which is a shame because his discography is iconic. Getting to be a part of King of The Road was one of the highlights of my career.”

[you-guys--are-losers]

Celebrity AU for Spideychelle

//Ooh, I like this! I think I’m gonna make it kinda an Irondad fic as well, to justify why Peter is a celeb.  We’re gonna try a new format for this one. Hope you guys enjoy! 

michelle jones has never much liked peter parker. 

it’s not a topic she discusses often, especially out her inner circle, because the opinion is probably one of the most unpopular she could have. 

even so, as soon as it is pulled from her in confidence by a few friends, the reaction is unanimous, and mj is left on defense. 

of course she knows about all that he and his mentor, tony stark, have done with the capital that they made off of their joint film, yes, she’s aware of the amount the two actors give to charity, and she obviously isn’t against the powerful political stance they aren’t afraid to take onscreen and in interviews. she is in complete support of all of it. 

and that’s the damn problem. 

everyone in the industry loves both parker and stark. they’re supposed to be incredible to work with on a project, they stay out of trouble and involved with charity in their free time, and they have a generally warm and playful dynamic. their swarms of fans all agree that the pair of them are nothing less than perfect.

and no matter how much she wants to, mj just can’t buy into it. 

mj’s own rise to hollywood wasn’t dirty, but it wasn’t easy, either. she had to fight for every scrap of ground, audition until she wanted to drop, defend her right to take a stance on something and to not look perfect offscreen with everything she had. 

and for them, it just seems like it’s so easy. 

it doesn’t create any issues for her at first, really. mj just doesn’t bring them up in interviews, and if they’re ever mentioned she just smiles, nods, and lets someone else answer the question. the few times that peter’s brought up as an example of some of the men of hollywood, mj just responds by pointing out that she’s alright being single, thanks. 

but then she gets the call. 

it’s not a bad call, not at first; in fact, it’s a really good one. she’s got the role, she’s going to be playing her dream role in the remake of moulin rouge, and from here on out it’s going to be all sparking diamonds and love songs…

until they tell her who she’s going to be acting opposite. 

they brought him in from the outside, they tell her, and he’s apparently got a voice like a dream (because of course he can sing), and they are looking forward to the way the two will be interacting onscreen.

but all mj can think when she hears the name peter parker is shit. 

because now she’s going to be working with the one actor in hollywood she just can’t figure out. 

she manages to put it from her mind in the craze that follows her role being announced. she posts a few stories hinting at the announcement, of course, and one cryptic selfie on snapchat taken with the filter that makes her face and eyes seem to gleam. once the news breaks, her phone blows up with twitter, instagram, and snapchat notifications in a way that gives her a rush of excitement. the articles pop up minutes later, and she likes a few tweets strategically and replies to a couple comments before posting about the role to confirm it and then falling asleep. it’s a good night, and she manages not to think about it, but the little, nagging thought still lingers. 

the next morning, when mj checks her phone after checking in with her agent, the fans are already at it. 

there are already edits, conspiracy theories, and a million people commenting how good the two of them are going to look onscreen together, how well they’re going to fit their roles, and how their real-life chemistry is going to be interesting. 

mj is about to close her phone when she sees an update from him, on his instagram story. she can’t keep herself from clicking on it, no matter how much she wants to.

when his face pops up, bright and friendly as always, mj blinks. he’s outside, walking through what looks like his yard wearing a button-up that’s rolled up at the sleeves, blinking into the sun. she has to catch herself to keep a smile from creeping onto her face. she knows he’s one of the most successful people in the industry, but he honestly just looks like a dork as he squints into the camera. 

“i’m so excited to announce that i’ll be starring as christian in the 2026 remake of moulin rouge!” he exclaims in a voice that mj knows instinctively is genuine. “i can’t wait to work with so many talented people on this film, and i’m humbled to even be given the opportunity to be a part of this incredible project. i’ll probably update a ton, but i’ll let you guys know once we’ve started! thank you all so much for your support, and i can’t wait to share this amazing film with you.” 

the whole time, mj is watching for all of the markers of insincerity. she’s used to spotting them in other actors and celebrities, and at this point, she’s honestly got it down to an art. and this time should be especially easy: part of her wants him to be lying, so it should be that much easier to spot it. 

but she can’t. not a whiff of insincerity or hesitation, not a single statement that feels a bit strained, no dodgy body language. and mj knows, as she watches it play, that he means it-- every word. so, after a moment, she closes out of the app and puts away her phone for the next few hours. 

things go pretty well until the day of the read-through. mj is still buzzing with the feeling of having earned the part, and she has watched the movie at least six times (though of course she would never admit it). 

and she doesn’t even want to admit to herself that her heart stops a little bit every time she hears “your song,” because come on. no one can really have that much passion for someone else, not in real life

but when it comes to the read-through, mj knows that this is the real beginning of everything. a table read is going to show how the actors interact with one another, meaning that she’s going to have to figure out how she works with parker and with the rest of the cast-- and fast. 

when mj shows up in clothing that is slightly more dressed up than casual, she is relieved to be one of the first. she takes her seat behind the label with her name and the character name “satine” in large script and busies herself with taking out the script she has already begun memorizing, as well as reaching for her tumbler full of tea.

it's then that mj hears a voice from beside her, one that greets her, "hello. are you michelle jones?"

mj stiffens slightly, taking a deep breath. she knows that voice because it is the one that played from her phone all those days ago. mj raised her eyes to his face, but it's much different in person.

sure, he's still got brown hair and eyes and what she supposes is an attractive face, but it's not just that. in person, mj can see the slight smile lines on the edges of his eyes, the easy grin on his crooked lips that makes her feel slightly warm, and the muscular nature of the forearm that he is extending to her in hopes of a handshake. if she breathes in deeply, she can smell a scent that she thinks might be lemongrass.

mj keeps her face neutral, however, as she peers up at him, nodding with a polite smile. she returns the shake, trying not to think about how easily her hand slides into his.

"yes, i am. nice to meet you," she replies, though she knows that if she had the choice she wouldn't continue the conversation.

or at least, she'd like to think she wouldn't.

his hand lingers in her for a moment, then he takes it back, sitting next to her. "i'm peter," he introduces himself as he sets the cup of coffee in his other hand down in front of him. "peter parker."

mj holds back what might be either a laugh or a scoff, she's not sure which. of course she knows who he is-- everyone does, so why does he bother with the formalities? but something tells mj it's sincere, so, after a moment she responds, "i know." her statement is not unkind, but it's simple, leaving it to him to continue as she opens her script.

"i'm really excited to get to work on this together, i think it'll be great," peter continues. mj can hear the earnest, truthful tone in his voice, and when she hazards a glance over at him, she can see the look reflected in his eyes. it makes him appear younger than he is. "i was really glad to hear you got the part."

mj glances over at him, more hesitant than ever now. she is quiet for a moment as she processes it, and once she is sure he's not screwing with her, she replies, "oh, thank you." she pauses for a fraction of a second before blazing ahead. "do you mind if i ask why?"

mj could almost swear a rosy hue comes to his cheeks, but he doesn't look away or allow himself to appear flustered. instead, peter parker says something that catches her off guard.

"i've always admired you," peter admits, not looking away from her. "i respect what you stand for and that you haven't allowed success to change you, and i can't imagine how difficult it must be to maintain the independence and dignity you do in this industry. i've always thought it was incredible."

mj stares at him, and for a moment she might forget to breathe, because what the hell?

peter parker, hollywood's biggest heartthrob, admires her? and not just for anything, but for her values?

what is she supposed to say to that?

luckily, mj is saved from having to respond when their new director begins to speak, but mj isn't listening to a word she's saying. the actress is far too busy making some attempt to figure out how on earth she is supposed to handle this turn of events.

after a brief interlude, they begin immediately-- it's time to get into the script, and mj is so ready. she isn't in the beginning scenes, so mj takes a chance to watch the cast perform.

they're incredible: mj can see why they were all chosen, and the chemistry between them is perfect. they are on the same wavelength, and though of course there are mistakes, there are also many moments that hint at the perfect piece they're going to create together.

but for some reason, mj can't stop watching him.

he's a young writer in the film, and it suits him perfectly. the soulful, passionate, naive character plays out perfectly through peter parker-- and he doesn't just go surface level. peter acts with such an incredibly subtlety that mj can't look away, and she's grateful when her character enters so that she can stop staring.

for a while, she gets along perfectly with the other actors who she interacts with, and she loses herself in the flow of the acting. it's not complete yet, but for a few moments here and there mj can feel satine taking control of her rather than allowing mj to continue as a pale imitation. it's a character study, and she's learning how to be someone else-- of course there's a learning curve. but it's exhilarating, and for a moment she forgets about peter parker.

until it comes to their first scene together, which begins as a comedy but continues on into a love song.

of course they're not singing together yet, but they're doing the dialogue, and that's enough. at first, it's just comedy, and watching peter's character, christian, attempt to figure out the antics of her own character is amusing. she gets a few laughs out of the rest of the crew, too.

but then things start to become more serious, and they begin to speak about love for just one sweet moment between.

and when he looks at her?

for a moment, satine falls away completely, and mj is all that is left. so it is mj who sinks into those dark brown eyes that are looking at her like she is the sun, like nothing else could possibly shine as bright.

no one in the room moves, breathes, says anything as peter and mj speak, their words weaving the scene together around them, turning chairs and tables and empty coffee cups into rich silks and shining lights and summer nights.

the moment lingers, only to be broken by the entrance of another character, and mj shakes away the spell.

and she plunges forward in order to continue, shoving down the disappointment she feels deep in her chest.

because maybe those feelings exist, but they're for another day.

and she's not ready to admit that maybe, at least when it comes to peter parker...

she could have been wrong.

[wingletblackbird]

MAKE ME ADMIT STUFF ask: 6, 9, 10, 12, 17, 22, 23, 26, 30, 35, 48, 49, 50, 53, 54, 55, 57, 60, 61, 62, 64, 65, 66, 73, 74, 75, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 87, 89, 90, 91, and 92.

6. What are you excited for?

This semester being over! LOL I don’t think I’ve ever had a more stressful courseload. 

9. Is confidence cute?

Cute? No, that’s the wrong word. It is very attractive. Confidence isn’t arrogance though, and also means being able to admit you’re wrong and uncertain. I think over all, I just like strength of character. People who stand for something.

10. What is the last beverage you had?

Apple juice. I was hypoglycemic.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

No. I don’t like them, actually.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

My best friend, but my mom comes a pretty close second.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

Absolutely. Sounds awesome.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

No. They’re not the same colour as my mom’s either!

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Yes.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

Hmmm….Depends on the definition. I don’t believe people should get of scot-free, (oh, give them a chance!), if they do something deliberately wrong, but I do believe in forgiveness and redemption, for anyone, no matter how hard it might be.

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

Sometimes, but typically only to doodle with.

48. Do you sing in the shower?

I don’t think so, but I believe I hum sometimes.

49. Do you dance in the car?

No. I don’t think I’ve ever done that.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Yep! Actually I went threw a phase where I made several of my own. They weren’t brilliant, but they worked.

53. Is Christmas stressful?

No, not usually, I love Christmas, but I did have a few stressful ones after my dad died.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

Given that I don’t know what that is…I don’t know.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Blueberry.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

I’m not sure. It depends on how you define ghost, I guess. My mom saw her mom come to see her after she passed away. I saw my dad at his funeral. He looked radiant. When my grandmother dies this happened:

She and my grandfather used to argue about to keep the basement door open or closed. She liked it closed; he liked it open. After she passed away, he opened it, and it closed. He opened it again; it closed again. It kept happening. Nothing like this had ever happened before. He couldn’t find an explanation. Finally, he said, Ruth, it’s okay, you can go now. He opened the door again. It stayed open.

Also, right before she died, my dad was at home; my  grandmother was in the hospital, and he heard her say goodbye to him. Then they got the phone call so…

I believe in something. Maybe not permanent ghosts, but people crossing the barrier after death, saying goodbye. I’ve got tons of other personal anecdotes like this.

60. Wear slippers?

Hate them. I never wear them. I don’t like shoes in general to be honest. I’d go barefoot if I could.

61. Wear a bath robe?

A lot. Very convenient those things.

62. What do you wear to bed?

Absolutely nothing, unless I’m on my period.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Walmart, I supposed, but only because I don’t know anything about the other two options. I never shop there.

65. Nike or Adidas?

Neither. I don’t care. Whichever is the most comfortable.

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheetos.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Yes. It was at my elementary school graduation of all places.

74. What is your favorite book?

The Harvest by Gene Stratton-Porter. I think a close second would be Captain’s Courageous by Rudyard Kipling though.

75. Do you study better with or without music?

Without.

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Cold, but I rarely drink tea.

81. Tea or coffee?

Tea. I hate coffee.

82. Favorite type of cookie?

I’m not sure I have one. Cinnamon? Maybe?

83. Can you swim well?

I’m pretty good.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Easily.

85. Are you patient?

I’m not sure. I can be. I didn’t used to be, but I think I’ve learned to be. It really depends on context.

87. Ever won a contest?

Yes. I got gold in a Taekwondo tournament. I was Top Sailor in a summer sailing program. I came in first place in the races too. 

89. Which are better black or green olives?

Black olives. 

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

I sat on this ask a lot trying to figure out how best to articulate how I felt. Where do I start? I eventually threw the towel in and decided to go with the flow. I’m Christian, specifically Catholic, and I don’t believe in sex before marriage. This wasn’t something I just accepted mindlessly though. Yes, it seemed to be God’s will, but I was curious about the “why?” This curiosity was heightened by people saying that that was only because they didn’t have contraception back then, so people had to be more careful. We’ve had the sexual revolution now; women aren’t so oppressed. I decided to think about it; do some research.

So if sex is not limited to marriage, then why must it be limited to marriage? If you can have one-night stands, or friends with benefits, and it’s all about what feels good to you, then why monogamy after marriage? Unless you just really like having sex with them, but marriage is more than sex. If you follow these thoughts through to conclusion, why marry at all? Why have one exclusive sexual partner? Where do you draw the line? Who knows? Maybe that’s why there’s a correlation between adultery and contraception. What makes marriage special from any other relationship? I was already certain that marriage was a good thing. I think it’s been pretty well established that stable relationships are good for people, and that divorce hurts. It was pretty easy to convince me that sex should not be casual. Sex was for whom you would share your life with, maybe even raise children with. If it’s just casual and fun, how is it suddenly special when you marry? You’ve “done it” with loads of other people.

But what about if you’re dating? Engaged? Serious? What if it’s only ever with one person at a time? What about then? People would talk bout cohabitation, and say it would decrease divorce. I wondered: does it? I did my research, and it turns out that people who cohabit before marriage are more likely to get divorced then those who don’t. There is some speculations that age mattes in that estimation too, but it did seem clear that not-waiting does nothing to help decrease divorce. Still, if you don’t believe in divorce, and would work at your marriage why does that matter? I eventually came to two conclusions. It’s because waiting makes you more careful about your partner, and it helps avoid the issue of children until you’re ready. 

In regard to it making you more careful, let’s go back to cohabitation. You’ve had multiple partners at this point. Maybe you had sex in High School, but you’ve definitely had it in university. You get out in the real world, and struggle to find a meaningful relationship, eventually you start dating, you start staying over, you say why pay the rent in two places instead of one?, and you move in together. Eventually, people start to ask when you’ll get married. You say; well, why not? The sex isn’t bad, we get along alright, why not? It’s certainly not worth the hassle of a break up. You get married. You slip into it, and it’s not very deliberate. It’s convenient. If you wait though, you are going to be deliberate. Your spouse is going to have the honour of knowing that what they’re getting, no one else has ever received, and you are not going to “slip” into marriage. It’s going to be deliberate. You’ll put a lot of thought into it. There is evidence to suggest that “virgin marriage” are the ones least likely to end in divorce, a part of that may because those who wait are more religious, typically, than those who don’t. However, the data did also seem to indicate that that was not the only reason. Waiting for marriage, seems to do the marriage good. I don’t find that difficult to imagine. 

The second thing about children is that no contraceptive is 100% effective. Woman who contracept for 10 years straight have something like a 70% chance of an unplanned pregnancy. If you have sex, you risk having a child. If you aren’t willing to have a child with someone, you shouldn’t be having sex with them. It’s not fair that a man can causally have sex with someone, leave, and the woman be left in the lurch. Even if she has an abortion, (which I think is tragic), it’s still deeply unfair to her and the unborn child. If both couples abstain, these scenarios can be avoided. It’s also egalitarian. Moreover, it takes discipline not to give in to desire. Discipline and self-sacrifice are necessary things fro a marriage. Waiting to have sex forces you to talk about things you might otherwise forget in the heat of passion. As a woman, I am fertile, and I’m not going to pump my body full of hormones causing unpleasant side-effects, reduces sex drive (lol), and is also carcinogenic. No, thank you. I want a man to respect all of me. That includes my fertility. He needs to respect that I have the capacity to carry a child. I am a human being, not purely a vessel to satisfy his sexual needs. He needs to respect me as much as I do him. We both need to sacrifice. Waiting is good training for a good marriage. It like that saying “You wouldn’t buy car without taking it out for a test ride; why would you do that with your marriage?” How insulting! I am more than a car that you pay for and want your money’s worth from. Marriage is more than that. It is two people loving and supporting and sacrificing for each other, because they chose each other. 

I could say more on the subject, but I’m sure that’ll do. Suffice it so say I did a looot of research on this subject, and various related ones, and these are the conclusions I have come to. 

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Hmmm…Living room or den. Ideally, every room. I hate the cold.

92. Do you want to get married?

Yes. I really want to get married someday. I want to be in love, and have a partner in life, but more than that, if I’m being honest, i want kids. I really, really want kids.