#‘join us down here’ is another callback to it for the. record

[japplejottomjeans]

‘disappear for a while’ ‘’escape normality’ ‘a place like no other’ ‘a Realm of Peached sunsets’ ‘endless days’ ‘take a trip south’ ‘join us down here’

[lady-divine-writes]

Kurtbastian one-shot - “Different” (Rated G)

Summary: Sebastian tries to cheer up a melancholy Kurt, heartbroken by all of the changes the pandemic has brought about in their home rink. (1341 words)

Notes: I had plans of writing pandemic fics in all of my verses, so this is the start of that. This one-shot includes a callback at the end to 'Blessing the Ice in Westerville' so if you don't remember that one, you may want to go back and read it first ;)

Part 66 of Outside Edge

Read on AO3.

"Whatcha thinking?" Sebastian asks, plowing to a stop. He slides onto the bench beside Kurt and gives him the chastest peck in the universe behind his right ear. 

Cockblocked by his mask, it's the best he can do. 

Kurt misses his boyfriend's warm lips on his chill skin, but he smiles because there's something so sweet and dorky about it. Sebastian can tell he's smiling - the skin at the corners of his eyes wrinkling and the bridge of his nose scrunching. 

But it doesn't make him look happy. 

It's rare as hell to find Kurt sitting it out in the penalty boxes. He loves skating more than life. He needs to go, go, go - moves in the field, practice his routine, help a wall-walker find their way without their hands creeping along the boards. The entire time Sebastian has known Kurt, he's probably seen him sit for a grand total of fifteen minutes.

He's broken that record today.

"You know, almost every time you come to see me, you ask me what I'm thinking," Kurt says, stalling for a moment before he has to come clean. "Am I that much of an enigma?"

"Yes," Sebastian answers accompanied by an exaggerated nod of his head like a trained horse doing math. Kurt giggles. They've joked numerous times about how ridiculous everyone is going to look when they can finally eschew their masks with how vehemently they nod and emote with their eyes. It's going to look like living in an anime for a while until everything returns to normal.

Kurt sighs. 

If it ever does return to normal.

Sebastian rests a hand on Kurt's knee and gives it a squeeze. "Come on, babe. I know there are some deep thinkery things going on in that head of yours. Let it out."

Kurt leans to the side and settles against Sebastian's body but his eyes never leave the ice. It's a relatively busy day at the Westerville Ice-plex, the rink filled to capacity. But because of restrictions, that means there are only twenty people on the ice, including him and Sebastian. On a Thursday afternoon, they would usually see closer to fifty kids and a handful of coaches, EZ skaters and Bobby seals zipping around treacherously like Mario cart vehicles. With the rink packed, the talking and laughter would drown out the music.

"Things are so different," Kurt says. 

"I know," Sebastian agrees.

"We were lucky over quarantine. Me and you and Blaine had your rink to train in every day - rain or shine. Things didn't change for us all that much training-wise. But for everybody else, skating was impossible. It didn't even get cold enough this winter for my pond to freeze over so anyone who was relying on an ODR was SOL." Sebastian snorts and Kurt chuckles, the laugh they share more melancholy than amused. It fades quickly. "So many of our skaters had dreams of going to the Olympics. But they canceled Nationals, and then Worlds, and now... " Kurt's eyes trail the progress of a few freestyle skaters struggling with elements they had mastered six months ago. "It's heartbreaking to see them derailed."

Sebastian puts an arm around his boyfriend and hugs him. "Well, if you're looking for a silver lining," he starts in an iffy tone, "with the number of rinks that got shuttered over lockdown, Beiste is going to be up to her bushy eyebrows with business. This place is never going to close."

"And whereas that's good news for the Ice-plex, think of all the kids who have to give up skating because their rink closed down and they can't travel here."

"Yeah... uh... " Sebastian clears his throat "... I only thought about that after I said it."

"This pandemic changed everyone's forward momentum," Kurt continues, giving his boyfriend a pass. "We have pair skaters that have split up, Disney on Ice canceled auditions so that dream is busted for a few seniors, Blaine told me that the synchro and performance teams at his old rink are both no more... it's not fair."

"No, it's not fair."

"I just wish there was something we could do."

"I know." Sebastian sinks into his boyfriend, mourning the loss of Kurt's hair against his cheek with his mask keeping the two of them apart. He wants nothing more than to fix this for Kurt, bring things back to the way they were and put everyone back on track, but the only thing Sebastian is good at in the way of problem-solving skills is throwing money at things and, ironically, as rich as his family is, they don't have the kind of money necessary to solve this. 

In cruel, corporate terms, the pros do not outweigh the financial risks.

It's not just that missing out on months of steady business dropped rinks into the red. A lot of them were poorly managed. Shutting their doors revealed problems these facilities didn't admit they had - rotting pipes, faulty wiring, cooling systems holding on only because of the ice and grime that had built up inside them. Once the condensers were shut off to conserve energy, whole units fell apart.

And, as it turns out, they cost an arm and a leg to repair, not to mention replace.

If the Westerville Ice-plex was in danger of closing, Sebastian would talk his uncle into handing over a blank check. Unfortunately, they can't do that for everyone.

"I think the best thing we can do is focus on here and now," Sebastian says. "What can we do inside these walls to make things better, even if it's just for the next half hour or so?"

"Do you have any suggestions?" Kurt asks. "Because, for the moment, I'm tapped."

"Well... " Sebastian starts, drawing the word out, hoping brilliance comes to him "... one of the reasons I spent so much time here even though I have a facility of my own was because of my friends. We used to horse around, make up routines, compete with one another, race each other down the ice..."

"Okay, but there are strict rules against horseplay now."

"I'm not talking about roughhousing. I mean the stuff we used to do with the kids in skate school to make it fun. Things that we can do while staying six feet apart. I mean, everyone here loves us... "

Kurt snickers. "Ah, humility. Thy name is Sebastian Smythe."

"I bet you if we get something started, everyone would join in."

"What do you have in mind?" Kurt asks, recalling the things they used to do with the kids when skate school was still running - blowing bubbles, tossing balls, playing Sharks and Swimmers (which is kind of like tag while fully accepting that, if someone falls, they could potentially spear another player in the leg with their blade).

Sebastian tilts his head, going through a similar list in his mind, trying to come up with an activity that would work with their current crowd. There are mainly regulars on the ice - the freestyle kids daring enough to court possible contamination for the chance to get their Axels back. He follows two girls with his eyes, mirroring one another as they make their way down the ice. 

He gets an idea. 

A hilarious idea. 

"Are we expecting Blaine anytime soon?" he asks, shoving his hand in his jacket pocket and fishing around. Kurt looks around Sebastian's body, checking the time on the scoreboard.

"Yeah. Any minute now." Kurt's head snaps up. He peers suspiciously at his boyfriend's eager face. What plan could Sebastian have come up with that would include Blaine specifically? Is he going to tie him to a goal and have the kids take shots at him again? Thank God for foam pucks is all Kurt can say about that genius plan. "Why?"

Sebastian pulls his key tag out of his pocket and dangles it in front of Kurt's eyes. "Because I do believe it's time to bless the rains down in Africa again."

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 12: That’s the Power of Love, Babeyyyyy

Thank fucking god, it’s almost over.

Our issue opens up with Ironhide deadnaming Slug, like the out-of-touch grandpa that he is. Everything is going to shit, the whole city’s covered in lasers like the world’s worst rave, and someone thought it was a good idea to let Swerve have a gun.

As the Ammonites try to murder everyone in sight, Whirl and Arcee have a little chat about how Whirl’s seemingly caused every problem ever in the last four million years.

…Whirl, you have been keeping up with your appointments with Rung, right? Like, I know he’s not the best therapist around by any stretch of the imagination, but surely something would be better than nothing in this case.

On the Lost Light, Hound, Perceptor, and Mainframe are keeping track of how many Ammonites have been killed. Everyone is extra British in this bit. Perceptor basically calls Hound a fucking idiot, because even with all the guys who’ve been taken out, there are still literally BILLIONS of these suckers running around.

Which seems a little overkill to me, but what do I know? Warcrimes aren’t my specialty.

Meanwhile, in the Mystical City of Making Science Cry, Starscream apparently knows what cosplay is, and takes a potshot at Jhiaxus for stealing his look. Metalhawk explains how the Ammonites got here in the first place, which, y’know, is cool. Love me some technobabble exposition.

I don’t actually love it.

I’m sorry for lying.

I WOULD ALSO LIKE FOR METALHAWK TO PUT A STOP TO THIS

BUT WE’VE GOT ANOTHER 19 PAGES TO GO

SO I GUESS LIFE JUST ISN’T FUCKING FAIR RATTRAP

While Metalhawk contemplates ending the comic event early, Starscream is getting his ass kicked by an old man who spent the war sitting on his butt in the Dead Universe.

Over with Team -Imus, Brainstorm’s taking a breather after getting Robertsed at the end of last issue. Ultra Magnus makes a pun, I guess to cope with the fact that he doesn’t understand anything that’s going on. Cyclonus is still dying, but this isn’t about him. Nightbeat is also dying. Oh, and Kup. Turns out, being a part of the Dead Universe is sort of an issue when you’re out of it.

Even though Galvatron was fine. And Jhiaxus. And Nova Prime, for the little bit he was out of it.

I feel like this plot point kinda just shows up when it’s convenient.

Anyway.

Brainstorm has shit in his lab that can help them not die, but he and Skids are gonna need help to get all these undead morons back to the Lost Light, which means that only two folks would be going to face Shockwave in this final confrontation.

Speaking of Shockwave, he’s gone full Burning Justice with that time drive shoved into his chest, as he makes fun of Megatron for being a dumb stupid idiot who gave him everything he needed to end the universe. He reveals himself to be a nihilist, claiming that a Cybertron which only exists for existence’s sake- and without any form of life- is the ultimate in perfection. Also, he’s a communist now. A nihilistic communist.

Just… whatever, Shockwave.

Megatron’s annoyed by all this posturing- which, same- but enough about him, it’s time for Ultra Magnus and Optimus Prime drop down from… somewhere… to kick some ass. Shockwave promptly shoots Magnus, and is about to do the same to Optimus, when this starts happening:

Huh. Wonder what all that’s about.

Shockwave snaps out of his stupor and proceeds to fire on Optimus, yelling about being the only thing that exists as he does.

Over with Rodimus and friends, Cyclonus is bitching about Rodimus not leaving him behind so he could go fight Shockwave. Nightbeat, who I guess just doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut, tells Cyclonus to quit it, because they all know that he just misses his boyfriend. Cyclonus, though blatantly annoyed, doesn’t actually refute this claim. Brainstorm wonders aloud just how this gaggle of assholes managed to escape the Dead Universe without murdering each other.

Rodimus explains that when they heard the singing at Swerve’s, it proved they could still get out of the Dead Universe, so they desecrated Nova Prime’s corpse to make a space bridge. Brainstorm became a doorway, because he’s very nearly dead, and oh yeah, he should probably fix that when they get back to the lab, and also reconsider his lab safety protocols.

The gang reaches the outside world, and Rodimus is given a chance to spout off his personal philosophies.

Fantastic, you funky little man.

Then everyone looks up in the sky and sees some real bullshit.

Hey, Cahill? I just wanna talk, man. Just wanna talk about this boobie Windblade you’ve cursed my eyes with.

Back over with Jhiaxus and Starscream, Jhiaxus just cannot shut up. He just keeps waxing poetic about how smart Shockwave’s plan is. I couldn’t even tell you what the guy’s saying- my eyes glaze over whenever he gets a speech bubble.

Metalhawk at this point has had quite enough of all this nonsense, and decides he’s gonna throw himself into the equation that allows the Dark Cybertron prophecy to manifest.

By killing himself.

He just fuckin’… tosses himself into some heavy machinery and explodes, and that throws all the ores out of wack, since he’s got the Resurrection Ore in him. Jhiaxus is distracted by a man just straight-up dying in the same room as him, and this give Starscream the opening he needs to stab Jhiaxus in the gut.

Then the background just straight up disappears, as Rattrap lets everyone know that it’s all still going to shit, but in the opposite direction.

Really not sure about this art direction, but whatever. I’m over it.

Back outside, all the Ammonites are exploding. All of them. Billions of the little suckers, just popping off like fire crackers. The environment’s going to be ruined at this rate. Metroplex is having a great fucking time. Happy for him.

The Lost Light calls the ladies inside Metroplex’s brain room, and lets them know that they’re gonna break up Monstructor like the mediocre boy-band he is, though not without Mainframe being difficult beforehand. The ladies jump out and enter the fray, admiring Arcee’s style as they do.

Back with Rodimus and pals, Nightbeat’s being fucking cryptic, and Brainstorm gets to work making it so folks aren’t dying from being in the wrong universe, after a little prodding to his ego.

Back in Shockwave’s Super Saiyan Energy Bubble of Pure Unadulterated Logic, Shockwave says that’s he’s fucking ripped, and Optimus couldn’t beat him in a fight. Clearly, this means we’ll have to use our words to resolve this, like adults. Optimus isn’t too sure about that option, however.

I mean, do I even have to- Optimus, that’s GAY.

I have the sneaking suspicion that Roberts wrote this portion of the script. Y’know, just given his track record.

Then Megatron blasts Shockwave with his fusion cannon, and makes fun of Optimus for being a sentimental fool.

The fact that “Dark Cybertron” is telling me this makes me so mad. Like, you don’t get to talk, Exposition Central.

It’s at this point that Megatron drops a bomb on everyone present- he’s done with being a Decepticon. He’s gonna be an Autobot now.

See, ol’ Megsy here has seen the error of his ways- that by fighting the Senate, he allowed them to change him into a murderous warlord. To prove how much of a nice guy he is, he’s ripped the Autobrand off of Bumblebee’s lifeless body and duct-taped it to his chest.

Which seems a tad disrespectful, but okay.

…Megatron, you do realize that, as the leader of the Decepticons, you could just tell everyone that they need to be nice, and that would more or less be the end of it, right? You could just say “not evil anymore, I want to be loved now”, and everyone would be all “sir yes sir.” This is going to be a PR nightmare, I can already tell. Shockwave certainly seems to agree with me.

I really like this panel structure. Want to say this is the only place it happens, too. It’s just too bad it lives in “Dark Cybertron”.

Shockwave’s not having a good time right now, and he’s convinced that Optimus and Megatron have teamed up just to make him upset so he loses control of the time drive. The two spout off a little Autobot propaganda, and then Shockwave Remembers™.

Shockwave, having had his shadowplay reverse violently and abruptly, is horrified to find what he’s become. Alas, it’s too late for him- the only way to stop the time drive is for Optimus to kill him. Optimus promises to remember who Shockwave was- a callback to the line Shockwave gave him back before his empurata- and then shoots the everloving fuck out of the guy. Megatron helps.

And that’s a series wrap on Shoc-

-holy fucking shit.

The gang high-tails it outta there, IDW Optimus once again proving to be the shittiest version of everyone’s space-dad, as he leaves Bumblebee’s body to be consumed by the Shockwave Singularity. It’s looking pretty hopeless, but luckily none of these bastards can die without fucking up Season 2 of MTMTE, so the Lost Light swoops in to save the day.

Down below, Soundwave and his gaggle of small children and animals watch as the Lost Light fucks off into the distance. Soundwave’s having a time and a half, as he realizes with his balls-to-the-wall senses that Megatron’s joined the Autobots. Galvatron shows up to try to work out a deal. We won’t be seeing where this goes, because that’ll be covered later on.

The Lost Light lands in front of Metroplex, and over to the left of that are Rattrap and Starscream, climbing over the wreckage of the city. Rattrap tries to warn Starscream that things are gonna be tough, now that the Dark Cybertron prophecy has come to pass, but Starscream isn’t really having it. He’s gotten very paranoid, likely due to stress, and tells Rattrap to not play this game, because he’s the best player who’s ever lived. Then the Lost Light gang shows up and we get this face:

Sure.

Later on, Megatron and Optimus are hanging out in the Sky Roller, not-talking, until Megatron tells Optimus to get on with it, since the issue’s about to end. Megatron was totally serious about becoming an Autobot. Optimus isn’t really sure what to do with that. I don’t think anyone’s really sure what to do with that, to be honest.

Megatron, in turn, asks Optimus if he really could look past all the bullshit Shockwave pulled in the last several million years, and he gets a non-answer, because addressing your feelings is for losers, clearly. The two exit the ship, and I guess everyone else was just… standing outside waiting for them to talk it out. Weird.

...And with THAT, I am finally released from Comic Event Hell!

If you hear any distant, triumphant screeching right now, that’s likely me.

[aion-rsa]

The Suicide Squad Ending Explained

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This article contains major The Suicide Squad spoilers. But you could tell that from the headline. We have a spoiler-free review here.

Well done! You’ve survived The Suicide Squad! 

James Gunn’s stunning supervillain flick is a brutal ride through DC’s most deep cut characters and now you want to dig deep into what happened. So we’re here to break down that shocking ending, where we leave our heroes, and what’s next for the Suicide Squad in the DCEU. Well, those of them who survived, at least…

The standalone (sort of sequel) movie centers around the Suicide Squad on a top secret mission. So off they go to Corto Maltese. 

We begin with two crews but only one actually survives the opening bloodbath. Those lucky few are led by Bloodsport (Idris Elba) and the crew consists of Ratcatcher 2 (Daniela Melchior), Polka-Dot Man (David Dastmalchian), Nanaue/King Shark (Steve Agee/Sylvester Stallone), and Peacemaker (John Cena). 

Later, they pick up Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman) and Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), who both somehow manage to survive the trap set by Amanda Waller. After much scheming and fighting, the team kidnaps the Thinker (Peter Capaldi) and make it to Jotunheim, the Nazi prison where the Corto Maltese government have been keeping Project Starfish A.K.A. Starro the Conqueror. But when they get there things begin to spiral out of control and that’s where we’ll begin…

Why Were Peacemaker and Rick Flagg Fighting?

While this is a movie filled with wild unexpected moments, the most shocking–to some viewers–twist comes when the truth about Project Starfish is revealed. And we’re not talking about the fact that it’s actually a giant starfish-like alien called Starro. 

No, the real horror here is that Project Starfish is and has always been run by the US government. Yep, it’s the US who have been testing on and torturing innocent humans, and the Squad wasn’t sent to stop Starro but were in fact there to destroy Jotunheim so that the US government and Amanda Waller’s involvement were kept under wraps. 

It’s not something that Rick Flag can stomach as he states, “I joined to serve my country not to be its puppet.” It’s an honorable moment that finally makes Flag a true hero, but it’s short lived. Amanda Waller always has a backup plan and here that plan wears red, white, blue, and a shiny helmet. 

Gunn’s searing action flick has a lot to say about war, America, and the nature of disposability, and Peacemaker is one of its most brutal statements. He’s a man who believes he “loves peace” but it “doesn’t matter how many people I have to kill to achieve it.” That in itself is the oxymoron of imperialism. 

In that way, Peacemaker and Flag represent two different versions of the patriotic ideal. Rick is the idealistic man who wants to do the right thing in the hopes of making his country live up to what he thinks it can be. But Peacemaker wants to protect his country no matter what horrific crimes they’ve committed. That’s why he agreed to be a mole for Waller within the Squad and why he decides to kill Flag when his former teammate wants to leak the records of America’s Project Starfish to the press. 

Sadly for us and Rick, Peacemaker succeeds, leaving Flag dead and the American ideal shattered.

Bloodsport Makes a Choice

With Peacemaker planning to stop the truth about Jotunheim from coming out at any cost, his next target is Ratcatcher 2 (Daniela Melchior). After the explosions incapacitate them, the brilliant young heroine grabs the disk with the damning records, leading Peacemaker to hunt her down. 

Just when it seems like he’s going to add another Squad member to his kill count, we skip backwards eight minutes. Here we see that Bloodsport, King Shark, Polka-Dot Man, Harley, and Milton have been setting the charges, which end up going off too soon. As they start to explode (and after the tragic death of Milton), Bloodsport ends up falling through the building on a large slab of concrete, landing in front of Peacemaker as he’s about to kill Ratcatcher 2. 

As he draws his weapon, Peacemaker does the same, leading to a fatal shootout. And in a hilarious callback to an earlier gag when Peacemaker claimed he could shoot better than Bloodsport thanks to smaller bullets which would shoot through his enemies’ bullets, Bloodsport beats him using exactly that tactic, apparently killing Peacemaker (more on that in a moment) and saving Ratcatcher 2. 

It’s a key moment for Bloodsport, who made a promise to his surrogate daughter that he’d get her out alive, and it’s the perfect way to wrap up Bloodsport’s arc in the film, from estranged father of a young daughter to a man trying his best to form more connections under difficult situations. Yay for the world’s best bad dad! 

The Suicide Squad Takes a Stand 

Now that Jotunheim is destroyed, Waller calls the remaining Squad–Bloodsport, Polka-Dot Man, Harley, King Shark, and Ratcatcher 2–telling them they have to go back to the US. But there’s one big problem: Starro is now freed and the giant alien is on a rampage. 

After decades of being tortured by Gaius Grieves A.K.A. the Thinker, Starro believes the city belongs to them and starts shooting out mini Starros in order to turn the population into mindless zombies. Starro is able to create countless self-replicating copies of itself, so the carnage being wreaked on Corto Maltese is probably only a preview of how quickly Starro could spread their influence throughout the entire world if left unchecked. 

For a moment it seems like the Squad will head back into Waller’s cold and cruel arms, leaving the people of Corto Maltese to their gruesome fate. But at the last moment Bloodsport chooses to go back and is soon joined by the rest of his crew. It’s a massively powerful moment and one that transcends even our core team as before Waller can blow their heads up her colleagues knock her out and begin to help the Squad on their unauthorized but massively heroic new mission to stop Starro and save Corto Maltese.

It’s one of several moments in the film that drives home the harder edges of Amanda Waller, who is played as close to a villain in this film as someone like Thinker or Corto Maltese dictator Silvio Luna.  

The Final Fate of Polka-Dot Man

David Dastmachlian’s performance as Abner Krill AKA Polka-Dot Man is one of the many stunning turns that the film has to offer. And while we’d love to say that the villain turned hero gets a happily ever after that’s not the case. In fact Polka-Dot Man gets an ending as tragic as his origin. After being tortured by his mother who infected him with a parasitic alien virus in the hopes of making him a superhero he became the villain known as Polka-Dot Man.

It’s not a conscious choice but more of a compulsion as he has to expel his deadly polka dot pustules or he’ll die. It’s the grossest power in a movie full of gross powers but as the crew face down Starro Abner finally comes into his superheroic own. 

As Bloodsport becomes the leader Waller always knew he could be, he uses Abner’s fear of his mother and the hallucinations he has of her to help him channel his powers into destroying Starro. Bloodshot yells “It’s your mother” and we see Starro through Abner’s eyes, the creature is transformed into a kaiju-sized version of the woman who ruined his life. His polka dots end up destroying one of Starro’s legs, and Abner celebrates screaming “I’m a real superhero!”

Just as Polka-Dot Man realizes his truly heroic nature, he’s killed by another of Starro’s limbs, crushed but finally happy in his last moments. It’s a fittingly bittersweet end for the unexpected and relatablely depressed hero.

The Final Fate of Starro 

Fighting a huge roaming starfish is no easy feat. It takes everything the Squad has to take down the monstrous creature, including that tragic sacrifice of Polka-Dot Man. When they catch up with Starro in the city, Harley takes the high ground using Javelin’s javelin to burst through Starro’s eye as Bloodsport and Ratcatcher 2 try to incapacitate the huge beast. 

As Harley swims around in Starro’s bloody eye she’s joined by thousands of rats called by Ratcatcher 2. The rodents swarm Starro, overcoming him as Ratcatcher 2 protects Bloodsport from his childhood fear come to life.

And with that, Starro is gone. 

Though Starro might have been a murderous alien kaiju by the end of the movie, they began life as a harmless creature floating through the stars, kidnapped by the American government. To kill him is a tragic but necessary act and one that cements the Squad as very much anti-heroes rather than the villains they began as. 

What’s Next for the Squad?

While we know that Peacemaker will get his own spinoff TV series on HBO Max (more on that below) it’s unclear what the rest of the crew will be doing after this. One thing is clear, though. They all have the freedom that they never thought they’d achieve. 

After killing Starro, Bloodsport blackmails Waller into letting him, Harley, Ratcatcher 2, and King Shark go. It means compromising Rick Flag’s final wish to reveal the truth of what Waller and the government did in Corto Maltese but it also allows Bloodsport and his crew to avoid returning to Belle Reve. It seems like the crew might stick together, especially in the case of Ratcatcher 2 and Bloodsport. 

Plus, once Flag’s friends find out that Peacemaker is still alive, they might have a score to settle. About that…

The Post Credits Scenes

The first of two post credits scenes is the big one. After we think that one good thing happened in this movie A.K.A. Peacemaker being killed by Bloodsport, Gunn has a shock for us. 

See, Peacemaker survived–to star in his upcoming HBO Max series–and Waller has sent two of her best to pick him up from his hospital bed where he’s recuperating in order to do nothing less than “save the fucking world.” After the brutal horrors that Peacemaker committed during the film, it seems strange that he’ll be taking a leading role in a TV series. But after the smart subversiveness of The Suicide Squad we’re cautiously optimistic. 

If you wait until the final moments of the credits once we’re done with all the good stuff like Special Thanks and celebrating all those amazing visual effects artists, then you’ll get to this gnarly and hilarious little stinger. 

If you throw your mind back to the beach-set murder fest at the beginning of the movie, the first character to apparently die is Weasel because no one checked whether ot not he could actually swim. It’s a sad and grotesque way to start the film, but there’s good news for anyone who loves the grody child-killing beast: he’s still alive. After all the drama of the past few days Weasel just popped back up and is totally and utterly alive. That means the people of Corto Maltese should probably watch out as there’s a murderous Weasel in their midst!

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The Suicide Squad is on HBO Max and in theaters now! 

The post The Suicide Squad Ending Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[shiny-procrastinates]

(re)Watching Magia Record S1 - part 12

part 11 here

Hello and welcome back everyone to this kinda watch-along of Magia Record s1. Last time, Mifuyu invited our girls to a lecture about the "salvation" her cult is preaching and took the opportunity to make a psychological attack on Yachiyo, who's now avoiding her team. Oh, and also Momoko was going to tell the truth to Rena. How will the girls react to learning the truth about magical girls? Why did Yachiyo suddenly start distancing herself from the others? We can only find that out by watching, so let's get on to this penultimate episode!

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record S1 episode 12

Yachiyo's seriously not having a good time since she saw Mifuyu. After talking briefly with what I guess are the illusions of old companions of hers and denying that the girls are her friends, Yachiyo decides to follow after Iroha and co. with the excuse of being unable to ignore other magical girls being fooled.

pft, what a callback, I can't believe she's still tracking Felicia. Yachiyo, please, you look like a stalker lol

Back at Memory Museum, Iroha's having a not very pleasant reunion with one of her best friends (also Felicia's growling at her haha). Iroha refuses to accept the reality that Touka's a Magius, since she thinks that the Touka she knows would never do that, but Touka really doesn't remember either her or Ui.

While Touka Mary Poppins around, Mifuyu steps in on their little argument, reminding Touka that she's supposed to be giving them a lecture, and Iroha also pulls herself together to do what she actually went there for.

Oh, that's a nice transition to the op, I forgot that happened. I forgot this ep had the opening at all.

Back at the bridge, Momoko's about to let Rena in on the truth about magical girls, when a certain person joins them.

Kaede! Long time no see. Normally, I'd be glad to see her back, but there's just something very ominous about her showing up now of all times, with a black umbrella and smiling, after what happened to her.

While that's going on, Iroha's team is getting a very handy educational slideshow on Magical Girls, courtesy of Touka. First, she proposes the scenario of a Soul Gem breaking, asking our girls what would happen in that case. After Sana and Tsuruno get it not wrong but not exactly right either, Touka gives them the answer: The Magical Girl dies.

Alas, that's a very Touka slideshow indeed, condescendingly giving a lot of synonyms for "death" just to make sure you get it. Thanks, Touka.

Back at the bridge, I wasn't imagining it, there really must be something weird going on with Kaede. Did popping a witch really break her this much? Rena hugs Kaede, who apologizes and promises they’ll be together forever now... in any other situation, I'd say that's really sweet, but right now it's really disturbing. Then, Kaede-

Kaede? KAEDE? Why and how do you know about that already?! Did Momoko tell you? Momoko's also acting suspicious. Just what the heck is going on here?

Thanks for this shot anime. Yes, Touka does very much sound like the white weasel here.

In Memory Museum, Touka explains what exactly a Soul Gem is, to the very understandable shock of Iroha and the others. After complaining about their inability to keep up, Touka urges them to move on to the next part of the lecture: "Magical Girl Theory: About Witches". Ohh man here we go.

Exactly what part of being a magical girl is exciting escapes my understanding. Maybe "scary" or "hopeless" would be a better descriptor. That aside, no wonder the rumor says you'd be affected by the memory you saw. Vicariously experiencing it is a whole 'nother deal...

Except that they don't. Unlike the game, they only get to watch the memories, not take part in them. One has to wonder why the script even bothered having Mifuyu say that if they weren't going to do it after all.

In Mifuyu's memory, just like Touka had described earlier, Yachiyo's group, who at the time was her, Mifuyu and one of the girls Yachiyo had hallucinated earlier, Kanae, are having a hard time against a powerful witch. When taking an attack from the witch head on, Kanae's Soul Gem ends up cracking and breaking so, although she managed to reflect the attack and kill the witch, she dies.

So that's how Yachiyo and Mifuyu learnt the truth about the Soul Gems, and now the Mikadzuki girls were proved that through their memories (though it's specifically Mifuyu's memory).

Back at the entrance, Yachiyo has finally caught up with the group (kinda). Touka tries to talk to her, maybe to buy some time, but Yachiyo gives absolutely zero cares and just slides down the rope like she's in some video game. Girl has no chill huh, didn't even wait to hear Touka's name, which means she has no idea that that’s one of the people Iroha was looking for.

Continuing the "practical part" of the lecture, Iroha's now seeing Mifuyu's memories from some time (years, I think) later. By this time, she and Yachiyo already had a new team with Tsuruno, Momoko and Mel, one of the other girls Yachiyo had seen the illusion of earlier, and Mikadzuki Villa was basically back to normal.

That day, when Tsuruno was busy, Yachiyo and team went to hunt a witch who had moved all the way from the east to their own ward. Like in the previous memory, the witch was powerful and her team was having a hard time, so Yachiyo told them to run away while she distracted it (remember Seance Shrine?). However, Yachiyo ends up in a pinch and Mel, the day's lucky girl, ignores Yachiyo's order and comes in to save her.

The result, too, is very much like Seance Shrine. Mel used up all her magic on saving Yachiyo and, before they can go find a Grief Seed to purify her Gem, Mel ends up witching out.

I have to say though, even though it's her own memories, Mifuyu's being pretty damn cold about this. Man, how can you watch this smiling? Are you alright? (from the point she's a magical girl, probably not.)

Rena, who probably just heard this very same story, is having the expected reaction.

Back then, Momoko was indignant to learn this truth, pressing Kyuubei for answers. The stupid cat-rabbit, however, gives the very same explanation he had given on the og about magical girls and saving the universe.

With this, Iroha's team has also learnt the truth behind Witches, whether they wanted to or not. I feel Kyuubei would like to complain about that statement saying that he's fooling someone, considering his stance is "no one asked".

That was the end to that part, but it seems there was still more to be learned here, since the lecture is not over and we continue seeing Mifuyu's memories from after that.

Mifuyu felt pretty damn miserable after what happened to Mel and couldn't get over it even after half a year had passed. Momoko tells her to just forget it already, but Mifuyu just can't. Momoko also says they shouldn't tell Tsuruno, which explains why she didn't know.

Unable to forget and unable to tell anyone about it, Mifuyu ends up witching out... or, that's what should happen normally, but instead of witching out for real Mifuyu releases her impurities to an outside form, just like Iroha, Kaede, the Amane twins and Alina all did throughout the series.

At this point, Touka cuts in to continue her lecture, now on exactly what is this event that we had been wondering the whole series about. Thanks, Touka.

According to Touka, these crystallizations of a magical girl's impurities is called a Doppel and she's the one that created the system that makes them possible. That, itself, is the proof of "salvation" that the Magius are preaching, and their goal is to reject Kyuubei's system, releasing all magical girls. Well... that's fine and all, but 1: how are you doing this; and 2: why do you need Rumors and witches for that? Still fishy.

Poor magical girls indeed.

Oh, oh no Kaede also entered the cult, she's now repeating the salvation spiel!

At the same time, Iroha and co. are also at their last stop.

I really, really like how this last scene fells like Mifuyu is inviting us, the viewers, to join the cult too. Almost makes you want to root for them... almost.

Because being meguka is suffering.

- x - (if you have been reading this as a hamster face, you're right)

Aaand that's it for episode 12! Finally, FINALLY I can call doppeling out by what it is without it being a spoiler, thank god... but now it doesn't matter because there's only one episode left, dammit >:v

So yeah, there's the explanation, kinda. It's not like they were breaking any rules (if we ignore the fact this universe shouldn't exist at all thanks to Madokami), but more that Kamihama is a special place. And yet we still have no idea of how exactly the cult's doing this, what is a Rumor, why exactly are they collecting emotional energy like Kyuubei would... actually there's one more thing that makes the cult not much better isn't it, Touka's saying they reject Kyuubei system and yet they're doing the exact same thing as them, that's super shady. Also there's no way there's no consequence to doppeling out when this series works on equivalent exchange, there's definitely gotta be some con to it. SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Talking about questions, I'm always curious about the exact timeline for this story. Whenever they talk about Mel's incident, they say it was "one year ago", and then half a year later Mifuyu's still not over it and it seems like she doppels out at this point, but in the game they say it takes another half year before that happens, I think(?). Which always left me the question of: When exactly did the Magius start acting then? It should've taken some time to get the organization as big as it is now, so one has to wonder how long ago did the incidents in Kamihama start, since by the time Iroha shows up the magical girls here already seem used to it. This always leaves me feeling like this “one year ago” is closer to “almost two years ago” rather than “a bit over a year ago”. At least by this time in the story, it should be.

Knowing exactly when did The Wings of the Magius start would also let us guess at how long Iroha herself has been a magical girl, since Touka was probably still hospitalized when she made her wish. If Iroha's really been a magical girl for over half a year, that'd explain why she was already used to it by the time she came to Kamihama, despite being weak. Rather, that'd mean she's done a great job surviving thus far considering how she's only been shown sucking at battles lol (I’ll probably never get the answer to this, tho)

By the way, we STILL have no clue as to what happened to Iroha's little sister... I don't think we're making any progress on this front this season anymore. Poor Ui, even the show forgot about her.

So yeah, that was ep 12. Next episode, hopefully, we'll get more on the reactions of our girls upon learning the truth, and see what Yachiyo plans to do, if she had a plan at all coming here... which I suspect she doesn't, she's in fact even too late to do anything about it. I told you she'd regret it! The next episode's also the last one for this season, so you can look forward to having some awesome thing to tie it off *wink*

This is it for this post, hope to see you again on the next one. Have a good morning/afternoon/evening and remember to stay hydrated!

[blitheringmcgonagall]

Meta asks for writers: 4 + 8 + 10 ? Oooh, and 20 if you want because I'm a total sucker for that stuff. :)

@chdarling thanks love, this is a lovely ask! 

4. Share a sentence/paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of: I don’t know if I’m particularly proud of it, but I do like in  We Can Be Heroes when the marauders tell Lily about being Animagi?

“Stop it you two!” said Lily, laughing at the commotion, and looking around her in bewilderment as she spotted a rotund little rat, looking rather self-important, making its way towards her through the snowy grass, carrying a letter in its mouth.

“Adorable! This is like something out of a Fairytale,” she muttered to herself, blinking a few times and shaking her head in amazement. “How did you boys manage this?”

The dog and the stag had stopped their antics and watched with keen interest as Lily bent down slowly and extended her palm upwards. The rat carefully dropped the letter into her hand and bowed once before stepping back.

Wordlessly she opened the thick envelope.

“Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Lily Evans and begs her not to be cross with his friends, who did this to help him.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony and would like to add that he adores Lily Evans, and that the baubles were not his idea.

Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that Lily Evans ever agreed to go out with Mr. Prongs, and would like to state for the record that he can’t believe Mr. Prongs agreed to wear said baubles, because he looks like a complete dork.

Mr. Wormtail wishes Lily Evans a Merry Christmas, hesitates to point out that the baubles were Mr. Padfoot’s idea, and hopes she will join them for a Christmas picnic lunch in the snow.”

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read? I answered that in the last ask but yes!

10. How would you describe your writing process? Unplanned, disorganised? In longer WIPs, I only ever have a very vague idea of the main plot and a few scenes and the rest happens as I go along? I have never written a fic beforehand and then  started posting it.... that’s far too organised!

20. Tell us the meta about your writing (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes)? I started writing, like lots of people I know, to cope with shit irl, so in some sense that affected things I wrote. I keep sticking real life stuff in my fics, for example, the medical marauders AU  Maybe I Waited Too Long is full of stuff from real life that means a lot to me? I also invariably use work to explain characters’ behaviours and decisions eg Sirius, Regulus and Remus’ characters, as well as Snape’s, in  We Can Be Heroes. That fic also has some real life stuff relating to parental death and my wedding. 

In relation to clues for future scenes, that happens quite a bit in We Can Be Heroes, for example, Walburga and Orion vow to ruin Mia and Monty Potter’s life at the start of 6th Year -

“Stop it at once!” said Orion gripping her shoulders and shaking her. “Listen to me, I’m as furious as you are. But we can’t attack them here. You and I both know the Potters are, inexplicably, among the most admired and well-liked couples in the wizarding community, what with all their revolting charity work and large group of friends. And they are constantly in the papers. No, it would be very unwelcomed publicity for our side if we attacked them here.”

“So what, I just allow her to disrespect the Black family name?” Walburga practically shouted.

“For now. Revenge is a dish best served cold,” replied Orion grimly, whispering in her ear as he led her away. “We’ll get the Potters back in such a way that will break them more than anything we could do to either of them. Don’t worry, we’ll ruin their lives, Darling, trust me on this one.”

 and then in 7th Year you find out rather dramatically how...! 

And there’s a part where Sirius is kneeling in front of Remus to apologise for something he did and later Remus does something similar but for a different reason? And another part where there is a ritual that the marauders do every time Sirius has to go home for the holidays, to give him courage, and at the end it pops into James’ mind when he’s facing Voldemort and realises that Wormy betrayed them....

This is very boring for most people I know, lol! But thank you xxx

[mxnark]

mina’s first audition! (ft. sphere)  performing “really don’t care” by demi lovato (0:20-1:20) dancing+charisma (ft. singing for proof of charisma)  outfit (tw : slight flashing lights bc link is a gif) 

she didn’t expect a callback at all. let alone from the sphere entertainment. as she filled out her form, all she could think about was how she was possibly risking something. she doesn’t even know what it could be, but she knows that she definitely wasn’t expecting this outcome. even if the interview went well for her.

she’s texted chungha and gahyeon about the news, the former being someone in the company as well as someone who she knew she could depend on and the latter being the person to even suggest auditioning for this in the first place. she debated telling her other friends about it. hell, she debated telling daniel about this. but she holds it back, not wanting to disappoint both him and herself with the possibility of even being in the same entertainment company with her. hell, she’s trying to stop herself from thinking about how she could possibly be in the same entertainment company with the first person she texted about it.

after ten solid minutes of her freaking out over this (with an additional 5 minutes of her stressing out over how her family was going to react to this) she opens her laptop to look up choreographies that she could do for the audition. she obviously was going to do something involving dance. that was a given for sure. she debated on whether to do something for singing or rap but she ultimately decided on something singing related. while she has gotten better in her rap skills, as shown by her rapping to songs while in seoul traffic, she still felt a little more secure in choosing singing.

now was the hardest part: the song. she debates on choosing a song from an artist under the label, but she decides against it. she’d look desperate, especially if it’s a song by convex. so she decides against it unfortunately, even if she knew the choreos and the songs and raps by heart. she thinks long and hard as she finds herself looking through various choreography videos, ten minutes (...okay thirty) on watching cooking videos with a cat and mukbangs on the internet.

after an hour and a half later, she finally finds a dance that not only looks possible for her, but also with a song that brings her a wave of nostalgia. she’s not only confident about this decision, but rather excited. it makes her even go to her parents’ room in the evening while her mother is downstairs washing the dishes after dinner, knocking so that he could know.

“i have something to tell you,” she starts. “but you have to keep this secret. when i tell you, you have to promise you won’t tell mom. or anyone.”

he looks concerned and she can understand why. “it’s not something bad. i didn’t hurt anyone,” she says immediately. she clears her throat. “uh. do you remember when daniel came to tell us that he got casted into this company called sphere?”

“yes,” he slowly nods. “what about it?”

“um… so on the day i told you i went out to do studying with my friends, i lied,” she explains bashfully and she sees a little frown from her father. it’s expected, but she still couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. “i… did this interview thingy for getting casted into an agency because i really wanted to try it out and see if it gets me anywhere. and i… have an audition with sphere this week?”

the frown turns into a look of surprise. “why didn’t you tell me the truth sooner?”

“i didn’t even think i would get an audition,” she replies honestly. “if i didn’t, i’d just call it a day and continue with saying i was studying with friends. but i did! and i kinda want you to drive me to the station because i don’t want to jinx anything if i drive there on my own.” classic mina.

he nods his head. “i see,” he replies, his facial expression becoming more calmer. “when is it?”

when she tells him the given time of the audition, he takes a second to think. probably to try and recall if he had anything to do during that time. “i think i can drop you off the station and pick you up,” he replies. “just let me know when it’s over. can i tell your brother?”

she shakes her head. “no. i want it to be a surprise.” as he was always the one to surprise her. first with the mgas and then with him getting into sphere. she feels like it’s appropriate to be the one to surprise him this time.

“okay,” he replies with a little laugh. “no telling your mom or your brother.” his face goes serious though. “but if you do get in, you have to tell her as soon as you can. you know that, right?”

she nods her head. “i know.” her voice is soft, afraid of how she’d react to that, especially with the fact that mina has kept silent about it to her even now. she’s even telling her dad about it before her. she can’t imagine how her mom would react to it. “i will. i’m just… scared.”

“i know you are,” he sighs. “just know that whatever happens, god will always be there to help you get through it.”

the smile is genuine, even if it’s a small one. even if she’s not the most vocal about her faith (she has her mom to thank for that), she couldn’t help but find his words to be comforting. she obviously isn’t the best christian in the world, especially compared to her family. so just the reminder that he was… still with her was something she didn’t know she needed until now.

“thanks, dad,” she replies. “i’ll leave you alone now.”

and she leaves his room to go back to hers, a lot on her mind.

…

while she waits for her turn to audition, she makes time to give god a prayer. and it’s not exactly her first one of the day.

when she and her dad arrived at the station, they prayed together. when she got on the train, she said a quick prayer before she stuffed her airpods in her ears as she shuffled for a random song. throughout the ride, she skipped all sphere artists songs so that she could prevent herself from daydreaming about a future in that building with chungha and daniel… and the convex members.

and she makes a final prayer now, mentally saying it in her brain.

“hi god. it’s mina again for the third time today,” she starts it off. “i have my audition today and i know i already told you how much i really want this to go well. i worked really hard learning it for the past few days whenever my mom wasn’t at home. i also really want to be able to join the experience with my brother and chungha, who’s kinda like my sister.”

she pauses as she thinks for a bit, then continues.

“i’m not the best christian. but i really want you to help me out. even though my mom will be disappointed in me, i really want to do this because i don’t really know what else to do with my life.” and that was obvious. she even said it to the interviewer. “if i don’t get casted, please at least help me get another chance to prove myself in the future. preferably with sphere, but i’m really fine with any company.” and her mind wanders to another reality, but rather to the negative of it. “if i do get casted, please don’t let my mom be too angry at me. i know i don’t listen to her a lot, but i still love her. i just don’t want her to love me any less…”

“whatever happens, i know it’s for the best and i know you’ll help me get through it,” she thinks her final thoughts before she ends it with an amen and does the sign of the cross in a small subtle way so no one catches her.

…

baek jiyoung looks prettier in person than the pictures she’s seen of her. and with the fact that she is the ceo of sphere entertainment, it makes her all the more intimidating. she couldn’t help but feel as if she was in the presence of a literal queen. and this queen is responsible for the groups that she’s listed on her form. a part of her wonders if she’s seen that part of the form and if she did, that would certainly be a story to tell.

but she has to move her fangirling aside. this is an audition here. she needs to impress baek jiyoung and there’s no way she’s going to do that if she continues acting like a fangirl. she needs to act cool, even up to the dancing. of course, she’ll slip in bits of her personality here and there.

she feels pressure just from the gaze of the judges and the camera recording her, mentally telling herself to relax. she bows to the panel of judges. “hello, my name is kang mina,” she introduces herself, stating the obvious but it’s only to be polite. “today, i’m here to audition for sphere entertainment with me dancing and singing to really don’t care by demi lovato.” after she finishes, she gives a nod to the person who had her audio and gets into position, mentally calming herself down and trying to get into the mood.

it’s her first time dancing and singing in front of a crowd. to be honest, she was always used to doing the former. she only ever danced and sang when she was either alone or it’s kept in her memories from when she was a child. even if the song is in english, the language she always found most comfortable speaking in, this is still something new to her.

however, the thing about dancing is she feels the coolest when dancing for everyone else to see. the learning process for dances is difficult, she won’t deny. sometimes she dreads doing moves over and over again, but she has to in order to get them right. and once she gets it all down for the first time mixed in with facial expressions that display not only her mood but her confidence, she feels more powerful than she did before. so even if she didn’t have the most amazing voice, she hopes the judges at least acknowledge how passionate she was in dancing as well as her effort with singing.

the last time she’s performed was for speak up in may. she remembers how she was scared that she’d look awkward, considering it’s been a while since she’s actually danced in front of people at the time. but when it was her turn to dance to choreographies that she was taught, she doesn’t remember anything else but the absolute joy she felt doing it.

and even now, she finds herself smiling naturally as she performs, her nerves slightly bothering her less even with the people watching her. funny enough, it made her care less than she did before. of course she still wanted to impress the judges, but she’s confident enough that they’ll acknowledge it. and hopefully don’t get the wrong idea with the title of the song, since she did care about it enough to want to be casted. 

there were many reasons as to why she chose this song. one being the fact that this choreography looked challenging to learn and she was right when she found herself being both frustrated whilst learning it. however, the feeling of achievement is wonderful when she does moves that she never thought she’d be able to pull off. she didn’t know too much about waacking, other than the fact that it was a style she taught herself how to do whenever she could since she was sixteen. she knew it wasn’t something she was totally confident with, but when she sees herself do it in the mirror, she couldn’t help but be in awe that she did that.

not to mention, the entire dance matched with the song was something mina could imagine herself doing. she’s never had an ex-significant other (and with soobin, she doesn’t plan to), but she didn’t need a past relationship to understand the message of independence in this song. she remembers how twelve-year-old mina would often find herself smiling whenever she heard this song on the radio station, feeling as if she was on top of the world whenever she heard it. and whenever she was at home, she’d find herself listening to more of the demi album. even if she wasn’t really a fan of her anymore, she couldn’t help but have fond memories of that album and listening to this song even now brings her nostalgia.

it was fun. it was lively. it was her.

with good memories and her love of dancing, it was easy for mina to be with the music. she moves to each beat and tries her best to sing along with it, saving herself from singing the high “oh, oh, oh”’s in the chorus just so she could breathe. 

the rest of the chorus continues and she feels herself let go. she’s already young, but just singing along with the instrumental takes her back to a time where she didn’t have to worry about her future that much. sure, time then wasn’t perfect either. but the fond memories of vancouver enter her mind as she dances until the very end. her dancing slows down as she squat-kneels to the ground, eventually reaching the last “oh, oh, oh”’s on her knees with chest pumps. 

the song comes to an end as she gets to the final position of the dance, sitting on the ground on beat. “i really don’t care,” she sings while tilting her head to the side with a wink that feels natural now that she was performing. the song comes to an end and after a few seconds for the room to take it in, she stands up and bows to the panel. after expressing her thanks, she exits the studio, still trying to get off the high of performing.

the only instruction she’s told is to wait outside until auditions are over. so all she does is wait in anticipation… and, not gonna lie, a bit of hope.

[littlemisssquiggles]

Hey! Any theories on the intro? And the upcoming fight with Oscar and Ironwood. I'm soooo excited 😖 gooo OSCAR!!😍

Hello again Luna. Well I don’t wish to discuss much out in the open since there are still folks who follow my blog and content who haven’t seen the episode as yet. So out of respect for them, I’m going to give my answer under cut.

Theories based on the intro. Whelp since the tradition since V6 is that RWBY opening sheds light on some of the story beats and subplots that will be focused on for part of the season, here’s what I’m anticipating is going to go down for V7:

Keeping Up with Best of the Best: 

JNR_RWBY will probably placed under the guidance and supervision of Atlesian Ace Ops who will more or less oversee their continued training as huntsmen.

We’ll probably have at least one episode or two in which our young heroes head out on missions  around Mantle and Solitas accompanying the Ace Ops in the field.  

While I’d love to see JNR_RWBY work alongside the Aces for more than one mission; if I’m going off the footage in the V7 opening and the V7 trailer,  the main mission will obviously be the one teased before in the trailer. The mission that takes place presumably in the Dust Mines of Atlas; infested with Centinal Grimm and another Geist Grimm.

Wouldnt surprise me if we got that mission episode between CH3 and 4 since I’m sure CH2 will involve the group being held in prison under firm interrogation until Ironwood arrives to bail them out (much like in @miki-13’s fanfic “Reconciliation”)

Oscar-Worthy: 

While JNR_RWBY will be out with Ace Ops, they’re not the only ones getting a taste of Atlas style of teaching. As shown, Oscar will remain in Atlas to be trained personally by Ironwood.

James and Oscar weren’t fighting. I guess this was more or less a little friendly sparring match for Ironwood to test just how far Oscar is in his training and skills as the successor to Oz.

Like you, I’m interested to see how this match will go. However at the same time, I’m not rooting for Oscar to win this one on one. On the contrary, I’m more anticipating Ironwood to wipe the floor with Oscar in their first match. He’ll probably go easy on him at first only to later take it up a notch and become more aggressive, forcing Oscar into a corner.I’m hoping this first fight between them is actually more…I guess serious when it comes to the actual episode. This opening makes it look like these two are play fighting and Ironwood is humouring Oscar. Don’t get me wrong. I want Ironwood to more or less be a good teacher to Oscar but at the same time, I don’t want him to coddle him either. Ironwood has been shown to be a hard boiled badass of a soldier. A man who singlehandedly slam-dunked a charging Beowolf with one hand and shot it straight through the neck with his other hand.

Let that guy teach Oscar a thing or two on what it’s light to be a warrior. War is nothing to take lightly. One slip up—even the tiniest of them can easily open the door to victory or failure. I can see Ironwood drilling that lesson into Oscar very firmly.

One thing I’m also hoping for is that there will be an audience there to show Oscar support during his sparring match with Oscar. I know JNR_RWBY will be mostly out in the field but I think it’d be cute to have someone there on Oscar’s behalf to cheer him on and help him up after Ironwood kicks his ass the first time.

With Ironwood training Oscar for V7, I’m hoping for V7 that we can at least get one Oscar-worthy episode where he is the focal point or key driver of the chapter. 

Similar to how we had the Jaundice multi-part episodes back during V1, it would be pretty great if Oscar got his own ‘Oscar-worthy’-titled episode that focuses heavily on his feelings handling everything (leaving home, the events of Mistral and Haven, Jinn’s story, Ozpin’s isolation, etc)  while additionally trying to keep up with Ironwood’s rigourous training regiment which the poor boy unfortunately struggles with in the beginning.

As a matter of fact, one thing I’m anticipating for with Ironwood training Oscar is the show highlighting Oscar struggling at first. I understand that Oscar’s whole thing is that he picks up things fast while also being expected to inherit Oz’s muscle memory; which we’ve seen him achieve.

That being said, I hope it’s not another example of the Writers neglecting to portray Oscar as his own character first and foremost.It still bothers me that after two seasons, we still don’t know much about Oscar’s true thoughts and how he feels. 

For the most part we’ve just seen him humbly accept everything that’s happened to him since the events of V4 and be perfectly comfortable with being puppeteered around by Ozpin while signing away his life to being another for Ozma to live through.

…Yep. Oscar has been with with the heroes for 48-49 days (1 month, 2 weeks and 4 days since V4 to V6, according to the RWBY timeline)  since he first left his presumably sheltered life back in Mistral and he’s just fine with all that’s happened since then. Uh huh. That’s what the show and the CRWBY Writers want me to wholeheartedly believe. Sure. 

It was especially worse last season where Oscar was supposed to be a focal figure of the season, like Ozpin, but the Writers once again overlooked him in favour of other characters (including ones who weren’t relevant to the main plot of that season). 

This is why I believe an Oscar-worthy episode isn’t only warranted by strongly needed at this point. What could be even better is if that episode is used to spark a close friendship and potential brotherhood between Oscar and Jaune. 

Why I want an episode where Oscar is seen struggling with his training and/or slowly beginning to fall apart from the pressures of everything around him to the point of frustration is because I can see it parallelling Jaundice where Jaune suffered through the same emotional struggles.

Jaune have come a long, long way from the whimpy kid he started off as. Perhaps he could use his experience to help and/or guide Oscar when he falters. 

I believe it was mentioned in an interview with M&K that Oscar might share a similar story beat to Jaune when he first started out.  I hope this means we’ll get to see Oscar go through an Jaundice-esque type of experience which in turn will prompt Jaune to want to help him since he sees his old self mirrored in Oscar. It’d be even nicer if this is followed up by Jaune offering to have practice sessions with Oscar to help him with improving his fighting technique. 

While I’d still love for Ruby to be the one to help Oscar with his training, I feel like it’d be more meaningful if Jaune offers to help Oscar similar to how Pyrhha once offered to help him back in V1.

I’ve been waiting for a moment where Jaune becomes a big brother/ mentor type character to Oscar since V5.

Plus if Oscar is indeed destined to join JNR (as the opening alluded to), this would be a nice way to have Oscar and Jaune bond to build into the potential of them eventually become teammates and brothers in arms.

I’d love it if we get a moment where Jaune and Oscar are training together while Nora, Ren and even Ruby observe from a far.

Having RNJR be a part of Oscar’s training and development as a fighter is a nice callback to V5 where the five of them were being trained under Oz’s watch and guidance.

Plus this could provide another example of RNJR becoming Oscar’s Golden Circle of close confidantes.I’m seeing more and more signs of the Golden Circle being a canonical possibility as the series feeds me more evidence for my Pinehead headcanon.

I hope they don’t stop for V7. I really want to see RNJR become Oscar’s main group. JNR as his potential huntsman team and surrogate family and Ruby as Oscar’s best friend, most trusted companion and of course, his potential love interest (maybe).

So yeah it’d be nice if Oscar training Ironwood is a sign he might have his own Jaundice-esque episode that focuses on him and his growing friendship with RNJR. I mean it’d be nice if one of the episodes gave us that for him this season. 

But given the Writers’ track recording on dishing those out; that’s wishful thinking. Ey who knows?

Schnee Family Affairs: 

Judging by the fact that they are featured in the intro, apparently Weiss is going to have to confront the conflicts with her that she left behind in V4. This also seems to be tied into something to do with the Crimes of the SDC. As alluded to the audience during the World of Remnant episode on the Schnee Dust Company, the company has committed one or two nefarious deeds under Jacques Schnee’s leadership. 

The intro also highlighted the new Robyn Hill character looking at tele-ad of Ironwood which later glitches to Jacques.This makes me wonder something curious but I’ll save it for my musing post. 

All I will say for now is that there is a definitely a connection between this Hill character, Ironwood and Jacques Schnee. It can also be noted that Qrow will meet Hill face to face. My theory on that is that James will probably task Qrow to investigate some strange things going down in Mantle that’s connected to Hill. 

My hunch with that is that Hill is the prime suspect in some reported mishaps down in Mantle when the reality is that it’s Tyrian Callows who's been causing trouble on Watts behalf. 

That’s my hunch. Speaking of Watts.

Watts’ Mole?

In the opening Watts is seen observing an image of the Ace Ops. This got me curious about that. Why show a shot of Watts eyeballing them specifically of all things with a smirk on his face?

This made me consider two theories as a rationale. Either Watts is watching the Ace Ops because he plans on using them and their influence on the People of Atlas as possibly their finest soldiers to once again humiliate and mock the strength and integrity of Atlas’ Kingdom to the rest of the world; as it was done back during the Vytal Festival.

Or…the Ace Ops or at least ONE of their members is secretly in cohoots with Watts. While I understand that Watts’ gig is that he’s a genius, what if…he had a secret accomplice among the ranks of the Ace Ops who has been feeding him valuable Atlas intel that he then used against the Atlesian military.

We can assume that Watts’ was exiled from Atlas for reasons. But imagine if before being banished, Watts had a family? Like imagine if...Watts is also a dad and one of the Ace Ops members is secretly his kid who he was forced to leave behind when he was banished. Watts then reunited with said child and together the two have been working together to enact their revenge and said child is in the Ace Ops and has been feeding Watts valuable info to help with his schemes for years; including the Fall of Beacon.I could be completely wrong about Watts having a kid in the Ace Ops but…who knows. Let’s leave it on the table for now.

Attack on Mantle: 

This shot makes me think that at some point for the V7 Finale, something big is going to go down in Mantle. Like there might be some big attack. Maybe Watts will create a stronger virus that’ll once again take over all mechanical lifeforms down in Atlas and the robot soldiers (inclusive of Penny 2.0 possibly) will suddenly turn fire on the innocent civilians, sending the People of Mantle into a frenzied panic which in turn will bring forth an army of Grimm to reign down on the Surface Kingdom. It might even attract another big Grimm.

Last time for V6, we got an underused Kaijuu Grimm. Perhaps this round we’ll get an Artic Yeti or Abominable Snowman type of Grimm. Who knows. 

The Relic of Creation: 

Well…we saw it clear as day in the opening. So we can bet the Relic of Creation will be a factor this season. I’m curious to see how Atlas uses this Relic since my hunch is that part of the reason why Atlas has been able to advance so much is due in part to them using the power of Relic of Creation. And since we saw the Relic, I wonder if this means we’ll get a teaser of the identity of the Winter Maiden and the Vault of the Winter Maiden.

Penny: 

... As much as Penny’s shining smile in the opening brightens me up every time I see it, I can’t help but feel uneasy about that. I’ll talk more about on that later in a future musing post. 

No Fire and Icecream? 

Another thing to point out in the V7 opening is the lack of Cinder or Neo.

Even though they were teased heading toward Atlas at the end of V6, the V7 opening showed nothing of them. This makes me wonder if the two are even going to appear at all this season.

I mean take Adam Taurus for example. Even though Adam Taurus didn't appear until the later half of V6, he was still featured in the V6 opening.

Cinder and Neo; nowhere to be found in V7′s opening. This leads me to believe that we may not see these two at all for V7. Then again, it was said in another interview with the Writers that we’ll be learning about Cinder’s past at some point. I can’t remember if it was teased for V7 or a future season.

Either way I can’t really think that she’ll be a character for V7 since she wasn’t shown. 

The same can be said about Salem’s army of Winged Beringels sent after Oz at the end of V6.

I guess they won’t be a factor for V7 either. I guess they’ll be saved for V8 (which is actually a good call).

Speaking of Oz, he was also omitted from this opening. Makes me wonder how much of a presence he’ll have this season.

I’m at least hoping for a thing where Oz comes back a bit for Oscar’s sake. Like maybe he and Oscar sort of reconcile but Oz doesn't take over Oscar’s body anymore. Instead he just plays a voice of guidance to him at times. I wouldn’t mind if Oz was relegated to that role for Oscar’s development. I want V7 to focus on Oscar since his side of things is often overlooked so much. He needs to be a focus.

Love is the Key: 

Looking at how much times it was mentioned in the opening, it may seem that love is a central theme for this season.

It also seems like the lyrics to the V7 Opening might be alluding the Fox’s lesson from the Little Prince. Interesting.

With all this talk about love, I hope this means that romance is in the air for some of our young heroes.

I know we’re more likely to see love in the form of friendship (platonic love), family (familial love) devotion and responsibility to another person. But regardless of this, this squiggle meister is hoping for cupid to rear his fat naked ass and prick some of our heroes with a dose of love straight through the heart.

I want to see some of our characters fall in love with each other (particularly a certain pair of rosebuds who’ve been shown to really care about one another despite only knowing each other for 49 days and have been pretty chummy these past two seasons---just saying).

And yeah, that’s it. That’s all the theories I have for now based on the V7 opening. Anymore that pop up, I’ll just share in a musing or headcanon post. Hope that answers your question, fam.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019) 

[hellyeahomeland]

“Designated Driver” | Directed by Michael Offer, Cinematography by David Klein

Sara: If I had a dollar for every Homeland episode that opens with Carrie speed-walking while looking over her shoulder every four seconds… I would have about ten dollars. 

Gail: The imagery of Carrie looking over her shoulder is very reminiscent of the pilot episode. The closer we get to the end of the show, the more it feels like we have come full circle.

Ashley: Hi everybody, I’m joining Director’s Chair for the very first time because I’m feeling left out. I have no idea what I’m talking about. Anyway, Carrie’s paranoid, and rightly so, but it’s not paranoia if the guy you’re in love with just stuck a needle in your neck.

Sara: I had to take a screenshot of this because this is Claire’s actual handwriting, and long-time readers of this website will know that it seriously bugs me when they try to pass off someone else’s handwriting as Carrie’s. Anyway, this is the real deal, people.

Gail: Another scene that shows a character versus a gang of three. Here the Pakistan Ambassador is up against Hayes, Zabel and Wellington... or is he? Wellington has inched closer to the inner circle of trust, but hasn’t quite made it behind the desk yet. If Hayes represents the center, only Zabel is on his side, while the both the American flag and Wellington are not. 

Ashley: This shot, from above, has the same feeling of watching a bomb about to drop. The desk is the target. Will anybody in this room survive the fallout of what’s coming? (Please let it be Wellington.) (What even is coming?)

Sara: I love this shot because of the body language of the four men. Hayes and Zabel are both leaning forward in aggressive stances. Linus has his legs crossed, hand to his chin, thinking of new ways he’d like to be swallowed whole. The ambassador leans back, sort of resigned to this entire clusterfuck.

Ashley: The look on Balach’s face is so… everything. The furrowed brow, clenched jaw, and the intensity of his eyes — he’s barely holding it together, and his expression is pure murder. 

Sara: I love this actor who plays Balach (Seear Kohi). He has been so great all season. I finally figured out this week that he looks surprisingly similar to Donald Glover. It’s been bugging me for weeks. 

Gail: Balach is not faring as well as advisor to his new boss, (ugh) Jalal, as Wellington is to Hayes. I love the angle they chose for this scene. We see Balach from above and it gives the impression that he is looking down at Jalal, which based on his point of view, he most certainly is.

Gail: Carrie is back in the same place where President Warner thanked her and recognized her for all that she has done. Feels poignant that she shares this moment with Worley back at Bagram. He put President Warner in that helicopter and indirectly, so did she.

Sara: IJLTP.

Sara: I feel like Jenna’s entire storyline really paid off this episode. I loved this detail of her hand shaking when Mike mentions the ops team in the Pakistani jail. 

Ashley: Jenna’s been a wildcard all season and this episode humanized her in a very real way. I don’t want more Homeland, but I would be interested in Jenna’s story moving forward. So she’s probably gonna die.

Gail: Jenna’s got a long way to go in her training at the Carrie Mathison Spy School if a little treason gets her this nervous.

Sara: This is such a cool shot. There is an identical one of Quinn in “Iron in the Fire,” which was also directed by Michael Offer.

Sara: This shot reminds me of two things:

that moment in the cartoon How the Grinch Stole Christmas when everyone wakes up and their houses are completely bare. 

that moment in “Super Powers” when Carrie paces back and forth, weighing her next move and hesitating, after Jonas leaves.

Everything this season is reminding me of something else, not in a bad way! 

Gail: It reminds me of a surveillance shot with the camera mounted up high, giving a full view of the room. We don’t know it at the time, but maybe this is a subtle nod to Carrie being under surveillance while looking for Yevgeny, who finds her with Arman, her designated driver, a short time later.

Ashley: This reminds me of “A False Glimmer,” actually. Carrie returning home to her apartment, mostly expecting Jonas to be gone, but calling his name anyway — ultimately opening a closet to find his things still there; and she’s reassured of his presence. She didn’t expect to find Yevgeny here, but he’s left nothing. The disappointment, to me, reflects her relief at finding that Jonas hadn’t left.

Gail: Ugh, Jonas.

Sara: Yay, Jonas.

Sara: I love the reveal of the other Russian officials seated around the ambassador, watching his phone call with Saul. It’s such an ominous setup.

Gail: Such a great reveal! Very interesting choice to keep the people in the background, out of focus, in this shot. Feels symbolic--the audience can’t see what’s coming, and neither can Saul.

Sara: I stan this friendship. 

Gail: My theory that everything goes to hell every time someone smiles still holds.

Ashley: It’s amazing to me that Carrie still has people who are so loyal to her. Don’t they know better?

Gail: Well, Arman is still alive, so, no.

Sara: This Carrie/Yevgeny scene is so great. I love the way it shifts as Carrie processes what Yevgeny is asking for her--as she says later, making an offer she has no choice but to accept. You can see her cycle through the stages of grief: denial that the asset exists, anger that Yevgeny is asking her to do this, bargaining with him (she’ll do anything else), depression when she realizes she has to do it, and finally acceptance. 

Gail: Interesting that they had her cycle through the stages of grief. It must mean something is gone that she’ll never get back. The choreography of Carrie walking away from Yevgeny and turning her back on him as she processes what he’s just said is telling too. Not only is he not on her side, he just became her Russian handler.

Ashley: It’s a dreamy shot too, everything blurred behind her, but we’ve really found ourselves in Carrie’s worst nightmare.

Gail: Sorry, Jalal. Yevgeny has already trademarked that lean.

Sara: There was a lot of imagery involving children this episode, which I find very interesting. Here Jalal is literally training young boys to shoot and kill. It gives a new sense of hopelessness to the entire situation. As Balach says, they’re inviting more endless war, and they’re lining up their next generation of soldiers. 

Gail: Saul’s body language has continued to morph into a submissive and defeated posture. The stress this man is under makes me worried for his health. A person can only take so much before they break and it seems like Saul is almost there.

Sara: Me watching this damn show.

Ashley: I second.

Sara: I found this moment where Carrie observes the two young girls playing to be especially poignant and a very Homelandian detail. It immediately calls to mind Franny, or, as Gail said on the podcast, the various little girls we see in the opening credits each week, versions of Carrie who have grown up watching war and conflict play out on her television screen.

Sara: Carrie using her earring to remove the SIM card in her phone is such a Carrie thing to do and I have to stan on that one. 

Gail: I love the detail because it’s also a callback to Allison in season five when she “tears down her comms” while going into full flight.

Sara: The expression in Carrie’s face here, as she turns herself in, also strikes me as one of grief. To be patted down by soldiers, to have to utter the words “I’m Carrie Mathison. I’m wanted by the FBI”... for a patriot like Carrie, we know this is her absolute worst nightmare. 

Gail: I agree. I think Carrie is devastated that it’s all come to this but she also looks resolute. Her gaze is determined and steady, and her movements are calculated. Her line to Saul keeps echoing in my ears: “I did what had to be done.”

Sara: I found a lot of parallels between Carrie’s and Balach’s situations in this episode. Maybe Balach finding his two sons was meant to mirror Carrie seeing those two girls earlier. They act ultimately for those children. 

Ashley: The horror at finding his children on-site — I find it hard to believe that Balach didn’t know what this meant at the very second he saw it. He, too, goes through the stages of grief at record speed.

Gail: Ashley’s right, Balach goes through the same stages of grief as Carrie. It’s clearer what Balach is losing in this moment and never getting back: his life. Is that true of Carrie as well?

Gail: Carrie’s cool demeanor versus Jenna’s anxiousness sets up such a powerful scene between them. The coloring of the room is cool, too, done in trademark Homeland blue and gray. 

Sara: This is quite a role reversal. Now Jenna towers over Carrie; still, Carrie ends up maintaining the upper hand. I loved this scene and how it paid off the season-long quasi-mentorship between them. Carrie has been teaching her lessons all season, just teaching them the hard way.

Sara: Carrie being on the other side of the interrogation table is not something I ever thought I’d see on this show. 

Gail: Carrie’s posture is confident. She is sitting upright, head tilted slightly forward. Her hands are under the desk, revealing nothing. Carrie has probably been in a million interrogations and knows how to play the game.

Gail: So many emotions play across Saul’s face here. We’ve seen Carrie and Balach cycle through the five stages of grief this episode, both of them having their cycles shown within one scene. Saul on the other hand has cycled through his stages over the course of the episode, ending with acceptance in this conversation with Wellington.

Sara: It’s ironic that in the episode where Saul finally steps up to acknowledge the ways in which he’s used Carrie over the years but can’t turn on her now, she makes the crucial decision to potentially betray him. There is a great contrast between Linus’ motives--about optics and politics--and Saul’s--which ultimately boil down to loyalty.

Ashley: I never thought I’d see Sara talking about how Saul’s motives boil down to loyalty, but 2020 is a helluva year.

Sara: IJLTP.

Gail: It looks like a chess board. If Mike thinks he put the Queen in check, he’s got another thing coming.

Sara: Carrie looks stun-ning here. (Requisite acknowledgement of yet another scene where Carrie is filmed from outside a car window.)

Gail: I love this storytelling device the show uses to give us a window into Carrie’s current emotional state. What’s great about this shot specifically for me is the familiar jazz music from Homeland’s opening credits that softly plays in the background as Carrie is being brought home almost a full year later. It’s the first time we’ve heard jazz music in a scene with Carrie all season long. We can see reflections in the window, but over Carrie, the glass is crystal clear. Earlier in the episode Carrie says she can’t see a way out of the hole she’s dug for herself. But just as the glass here is crystal clear, so is Carrie. She knows what she must do.

Sara: Gail, a “window into Carrie’s current emotional state”... literally! 

Sara: Love the “GOODBYE PAKISTAN” sign as we’re leaving this setting and returning to America the homeland for the final two episodes. 

Ashley: The “GOODBYE PAKISTAN” is interesting because it is in English. Obviously this is for the viewers, but it comes off like a warning. 

Gail: It is most definitely a warning. Look at what awaits them on the other side.

Sara: This scene was so stunningly shot. It reminded me a lot of Brody’s tape from “Marine One” and Carrie’s from “Why Is This Night Different?” 

Gail: The details were all crafted so well too. From the prop department and set designers, to the moving score from Sean Callery, to the beautiful writing, to the performance from Seear Kohi. Balach accepted his fate in the earlier scene with Jalal, and now he is resolved to do what needs to be done.

Gail: I mentioned this on the podcast, but good Lord does this woman give great side eye. This is the exact same look I give my kids when they say they don’t have homework. I stan.

Sara: Gail, you’re so right. Vanessa Kroll gives excellent side eye.

Gail: Parker, the character shown here, also cycles through the five stages of grief. 

Sara: It’s not just Carrie who’s been trapped. The special ops team being literally trapped inside the bus, desperately yelling to be let out, was especially heartbreaking. This season, the show has portrayed multiple characters--major and minor--who are trapped in an endless cycle of war, prisoners of their own ideas and the system in which they operate.  

Ashley: There is also just the fact that people are physically entrapped consistently — but they can still see what’s outside. Being able to see things and not stop them or escape them… it’s kind of a motif in this show, amped up to 1000 this season.

Gail: And now, acceptance of a fate he can’t escape. 

Sara: This entire sequence was expertly edited, the shouts and commotion drowned out by Sean Callery’s excellent score. Weirdly there is a sense of quiet to it all. 

I appreciate the contrast between these two reactions. Parker looks at the bomb barreling toward him and seems to have a sense of acceptance about his fate. Jenna, meanwhile, mostly out of harm’s way, ducks behind a car and her expression is one of fear. 

Sara: This final moment where Balach lets out an excruciating scream as flashes of his crying sons play across the scene is heartbreaking. He dies so that they can live. I thought it was--ironically-quite beautiful. 

Ashley: Agree that it was beautiful, but it’s terrible insofar as his children are going to grow up under Jalal’s rule. They will never see the peace that their father wanted; they will never even know that’s what he wanted. Balach didn’t have a choice, but his legacy is now embedded in terrorism — not peace.

Gail: Balach had a choice, he chose his family. From their perspective, he’s a hero.

Gail: The symbols on the side of the bus are symbols on the Pakistani flag. The star symbolizes light and knowledge, the crescent moon symbolizes progress. Quite a contrast to the people being held prisoner within.

Sara: The split second before it happens -- the palms pressed against the bus windows is a breathtaking image.

Gail: We don’t need a car window to locate Carrie emotionally now. She’s looking straight ahead, and like Balach in the car, begins her journey to the end.

Sara: The parallel to Carrie in the airplane is an unexpected one, but it fits. She has the same look of resolve in her eyes as Balach. She knows what she must do. She’s blowing up her life in her own way, setting a match to it all. Is she a martyr, or is she a traitor? This scene fits between a cut to white and a cut to black, and that’s where Carrie has always been: in the grey, searching.

Ashley: God help me.

[nancydrew65]

SKAM NL Season 2 Episode 1 Recap

Time for my favorite remake! I love Liv and the Dutch girl squad, so I am excited for this season!

Good Morning

Well, this has got to be the best season 2 opening sequence ever. It’s also a completely new scene, so yay! I love the comparisons between Liv and Noah’s morning routines.

Aaaah, the parallel shots of them painting their nails. Noah really is the epitome of an artsy fuckboy.

And then the music cuts out when Liv sees Noah. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Liv is already more aggressive than Noora, and not gonna lie, I am here for it.

Also, how does Noah know where Liv lives? Isn’t that slightly creepy?

The older lady, walking in between them just made my day.

Awww, they flipped each other off? Are they going to be like Mia and Alexander where using middle finger becomes their sweet romantic gesture? I hope so!

And damn, Noah had to really run down those stairs to catch Liv. He is out of breath. I wonder if the actor (is his name Monk?) actually ran down the stairs. If so, props to him.

Liv rides off into the distance on her bike, and so begins Season 2.

Too Late

Those opening shots were everything! And then it cuts back to the reality with the bell. 

Oh, Kes. I see you winking at Isa, I see you.

Again with the story about Imaan and her oma. Do we know what happened to the actress? Because that is a really obvious excuse, and I remember last season she wasn’t in as many of the scenes. Please let us not lose Imaan. Pleeeease!

Another ignorant remark on behalf of Engel. But I can kinda tolerate it with her. She was the Vilde who seemed more interested in connecting with Imaan, even if she went about it the wrong way.

Janna’s weird conversation about flashers made me smile so much.

Oh, Noah comments of Liv’s hair and she immediately takes her hairband out.

Engel thinks he’s looking at her. Oh, how I wish we wouldn’t go into this storyline. It’s awful for everyone, except maybe William/Noah.

Who is this Jayden guy? Was he the one who came to the cabin trip? Why does he need to move somewhere? I guess he ends up living with Liv. It still feels kind of weird. I wish Skam NL would have given us a little more information on that matter.

Skinny Bitch

Wow, that is one hopping house party! I’m with Liv, “on a Thursday?”

We see Dutch Eskild, his name is Ralph. 

Isa and Kes check out girls on a dating app. Oh, they are so drunk. So, I guess this is kind of like that scene from Season 2 in OG, but ..... not. 

Jayden trying to pick up a girl in his closet of a room is kinda funny.

Oh, dear. Skinny Bitch. In Season 1, Skam NL didn’t really go into Engel having an eating disorder, so I wondered if she would develop one this season. I guess, she will. 

Isa and Liv spy Lucas and a random girl making out. “I guess he was just curious?” I don’t think so, Liv, I don’t think so.

Liv takes out the garbage and promptly drops it right outside of her door. Is that a thing in the Netherlands. Like if you live in an apartment complex, is there someone who picks up the garbage from your front door? I hope so because she just left it there.

I do like that moment where she just gazes out at the city. I wonder where Noah and Liv will go for that whole “first date” because Liv already has a fantastic view from her apartment. Or maybe they won’t go with that storyline? Please, please.

Aww, Liv happily watching all the girl squad out on the floor like a proud mom. And then she goes to join them to dance. What a sweet clip.

Brakkiekakkie

I won’t even pretend to understand what the title of this clip means.

Janna spitting nuts into a planter box while all the other girls are just trying not to vomit.

The girls are waiting for Jayden. That’s sweet. He is a new addition to the story, so I wonder how he will fit into Season 2 madness.

We meet Esra! Look at SKAM NL, casually throwing in diversity. I’m proud of my little remake. I’m guessing Esra is the equivelant of Linn? She seems cool and way more helpful than Linn ever was. 

Was there a spark between Esra and Janna? Am I imagining things? That would be a really interesting storyline to pursue. A lesbian romance with a Muslim.

That far off shot of the girls at the balcony, the camera sliding across all the girls in the classroom. SKAM NL is experimenting with all these stylistic shots and I am loving it. They give the show a very distinctive feel, while still remaining very authentic. Just how SKAM should be.

So, the girls need to throw together a benefit to raise money for their city trip. Cool, gives the season a focus. Also, Isa correcting her pronunciation of Talinn was a cute callback to season 1 when Imaan schooled all the girls in how to pronounce it. But that just reminds me of how we are missing Imaan. Bring! Her! Back!

Oh, that text from Noah. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there this morning.” It is kind of stalkerish that he is showing up at her door every morning, but also kind of sweet? Like William only ever harassed Noora through texts. Showing up at someone’s house, day after day, seems more sincere. Or just more like a horror movie, IDK.

Lucas being smooth with the ladies. Although I’m not quite sure why Engel had that face when he walked over to the girls. Was it because they were talking about him?

“He’s a chick magnet” “I wouldn’t be so sure of that” Damn, that was savage Isa. 

It Will Be Alright

Isa, Kes, Lucas, and Jayden killed me with those whale sounds. They are so stoned; at least its a Saturday.

Also, Isa is actively participating. So, I guess she was only mad that Kes and Jayden dealed Ritalin last season. I mean that makes sense. Dealing prescription drugs is a lot more dangerous than smoking weed.

This is more of a relationship with her parents than we saw from Noora. Her dad seems more interested in the state of Liv’s music career than he does about how his daughter is doing. Maybe he’s a big shot in the music industry and that’s why he has no time for her?

Oh, clearly Liv’s dad thinks she has already submitted her music to the record company, but Liv is too afraid of rejection and has held off on it.

I think this is really interesting. We get to see more of Liv’s passion for music. I really hope they develop this storyline more, especially considering Zoe Love Smith, Liv’s actress is a singer in real life. 

Almost Finished

Aww, that quick glimpse of a photo of the girl squad. I can’t wait to have more scenes of the girl squad.

That shot of Liv fractured in the two mirrors while speaking along to the lyrics was so beautiful! The cinematography in this show is on point!

Is Ralph in a bunny one-suit? He doesn’t even close the door when he pees. But I agree with Liv; it’s worse that he doesn’t wash his hands afterwards.

Damn, Noah’s twirl! Those were some high-class moves.

Liv is so done with him.

The older lady makes another appearance. She is quickly becoming my favorite character. Theory: She represents the audience and how we should feel about Noah (aka sympathy). Nah, I’m just kidding.

General Thoughts

I really enjoyed this episode! I’m really glad they haven’t got into Noah manipulating Engel to get to Liv. I hope they won’t ever go into that storyline, but that might be too much to hope for. I will say, though, without that element of the story into play, the episode doesn’t have as much of a dramatic arc. Not that I wish they put it in; I much prefer this mellow episode to Noah acting shitty towards Engel. SKAM NL changed up a lot of things. I love that; I am all for remakes exploring new avenues and doing their own thing. I hope they keep changing things up; it makes the viewing experience more exciting. So far, I am not feeling like I want to throw a book at Noah, which is a plus. He seems better than some of the other Williams. I hope he keeps up his good behavior. So, as I was watching I was thinking, “Where’s Noah?” and I saw that a lot of people in the comments of the clips felt the same. And I was struck by a terrible epiphany. We, as a fandom, have come to associate Season 2 with Noorhelm, rather than Noora herself. And I think this is partly due to OG SKAM because they didn’t do a good job making a distinction between the two. Just comparing this episode to SKAM Austin (which I am also watching live), there is an appearance or reference to Daniel in every single clip of episode 1. In SKAM NL, there were two whole clips where Noah was not mentioned once, and one clip where the only reference to him was one text he sent Liv. I think this is great progress and hope that SKAM NL continues this trend and focuses more on Liv as a character rather than her as on half of Lioh (or Noliv. What is their ship name?). I think bringing in her music is a great start. I can’t wait to watch more of this season.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi Meat, p5 reaction

Meat Page 5.

We might be due another perspective switch - unless the plot stays with John until he's assembled all his friends.

When John goes to pick up Rose, it’ll probably be on LOLAR. Terezi might still be there, if she hasn’t gone clownhunting just yet.

If so, perhaps we’ll get to see whether Rose ‘n Terezi’s migraine was really due to the substance abuse + caleidoscopic colours of LOLAR + glitches… Or whether it was due to the GO timeline “supposed to” have gone differently, with John’s current retcon being the thing missing to happen. It takes a bit of effort, remembering what everyone was exactly up to on this part of the GO timeline and what would be a fortunate time for John to take it off the rails. For Kanaya, that might very well be the moment Jane set up her literal shop on LOFAF, selling her all those blood potions, for instance.

For Dirk, it might be before his conversation with Arquiusprite.

I'm getting the feeling that John might be jumping to exactly those moments in the scenes where the characters were at their lowest, self-esteem wise. Giving them a literal second breath. ;)

Not sure what we can expect from the ghost side of things though. I think they might not be duplicated, leading us to meet up with (Vriska) as we knew her, punk cut and all. Even though GO Terezi's ghost will be there with her too.

I'm half convinced Calliope will get copied somehow, but not entirely sure. The only 'real' duplicate Calliope had already, besides Alt Calliope, was her dreamself. He could snatch the body, but I was under the impression Caliborn consumed it in a literal sense to establish his dominance over the body.

Meanwhile, it occurred to me to that Andrew Hussie (the author avator) will make a comeback, probably a background cameo. I've only now realized that he's a literal ghost writer of his own story right now, in-canon. While outside of canon, he’s more becoming like Stan Lee, executive producing stories using characters he designed.

Anyway, let's start this up.

---

"The stands of the Cantown Memorial Arena" Okay, my first thought was this takes place on the meteor, but yeah, it's a building named presumably after the literal Cantown WV build in his station, back on Earth. Or the Exile Town that Bec Noir massacred. Though, does this indicate a perspective switch back to Roxy... Or is the CMA where Rumble in the Pumpkin Patch is recorded? Probably the latter, meaning the perspective is switching back to Dave! Uh, the alpha version, I guess I should call him? Post-canon, adult Dave?

"His shit eating was so brutal that no one, except maybe Jake, cares that he’s taking a phone call in the middle of a live broadcast." So, was it staged, or did Jake really get a power boost, coming into his role as the Page?

Also, I feel like if Karkat's run for president gets announced by Dave on live television, "and the crowd goes wild" will apply here.

"Dave takes a seat on the couch, right in Karkat’s butt groove." Okay, so he's not going just yet. ... Karkat's butt groove is available because the latter absconded the fuck out last we saw him, hahah.

"a piece of absolute garbage." Callback secured.

"DAVE: while the beatdown you just received was as thorough as it was humiliating im afraid as usual the solution to this problem should probably not involve your decapitation" While Dirk might be the one to keep this beaten dead horse of an in-joke going, Dave isn't going to be the one to cut its head off and end its misery. :P

"DAVE: jake just kicked your ass DAVE: thats really all there is to say on the matter" AWWWWW yessss, hahahahah. Dirk's laid down, on the ground, on his smartphone, just like Dave was after his beatdown by Bro. Awesome callback.

"DAVE: its really amazing how this meme we have going here continues to be exactly as funny as the day it was established DIRK: Isn’t it always though? DAVE: yeah" That's Strider Irony at its finest for you. You never can be entirely sure non-sincerity is what's taking place here.

" DAVE: how DID you get your ass kicked so bad DAVE: jake sucks and his raps are fucking awful" Oh, scratch that thing about his power level, then. ... The rapbots didn't join in to beat Dirk down, did they? ... Though I would like to see either them or their zilly versions again. :P

"

On the TV, Dirk makes an elegant hand sign that once might have represented solidarity with some ancient coastal rap group but now has been utterly divorced from its cultural context here on Earth C." Is it a sign associated with... the ICP? Yes, I guess whatever 'references' the kids make get picked up as divine decree...

"The camera pans away from him and over the crowd. It zooms in on a young crocodile wearing an oversized T-shirt with Jake’s highly marketable ass plastered over it and the phrase “Tally ho” written in big bubble letters." ... including stuff that was already dated when the gods were still actual kids. (By which I mean the phrase, not Jake's marketable ass.)

"DIRK: Holding back a little to achieve certain results doesn’t necessarily mean you’re participating in a farce or rigging the event. DIRK: We do this all the time. We hold back our thoughts, our true feelings, our full potential. We disguise how much we know about what and when, for many purposes. To ease relations, to let others behave naturally and make up their minds without undue intervention. To wait for the right moments to show our hands, to pick our battles. " Dirk is still overthinking things. :P He's also still a schemer, even though he's grown more mature. I think in this case, he might be trying to keep up Jake's taste for adventure and hone his skills? That might be related to the fact that he's one of the few in the know of what John is up to (also a thing he's withholding right now), and he might be trying to get Jake battle-ready in case he needs to be. ... In case he doesn't believe they'll stay irrelevant to the plot.

"DAVE: my dog you are full of some SHIT today arent you DIRK: Absolutely." It's a good thing Dave can see Dirk typing, otherwise I might have asked whether Dirk may have reinstated an autoresponder to answer when he's busy. :P

"DIRK: And when it comes to theater, there are just as many reasons for restraint. To build tension. To set the stage. To give the people someone to root against." Okay, that's actually kind of meta. Also, in-story, it might mean Dirk is deliberately trying to come off as weaker, to get people to boo at Jake so he can play hero?

"DAVE: i can see you on tv DAVE: theyre booing you dude" Okay, never mind.

"The excitable salamander manning the camera switches to a fish-eye lens for some unfathomable reason, giving the whole exchange an air of demented absurdity. Dirk’s sunglasses distort and stretch to dominate the entire screen." I'm all here for NPC races doing menial labor half-way competently. :P Also, I feel like there should be some sort of visual callback to that image of Dirk's sunglasses. Something to do with the black hole from Problem Sleuth expanding to suck the entire universe up, which was reflected in the Stiller shades, and the event in itself is being called back to now, in the Black Hole sucking up the Furthest Ring!

"JAKE: What about the agitated rabble? Theyre starting to throw things. DIRK: I don’t know. Do a dance or something. Sing a song. DIRK: They love anything you do. JAKE: Ummm. JAKE: Ok sounds stupid but ill try." Using Jake's charisma as crowd control? Dirk, you beautiful mastermind.

"Jake tips an imaginary hat toward center stage and begins doing the Charleston." Hah, right, this might be a callback to that other Page dancing old-time dances, hahah, Tavros after he assembled the ghost army.

"Just as Dirk predicted, the crowd immediately loses its shit, except for a single carapacian in the front row, who continues to glower at Dirk with an expression of absolute and total contempt." If Jack hadn't remained in the session, I would've designated this guy as his great-whatever-grandchild.

"DAVE: why do you want people to hate you so much DAVE: its fucked up DIRK: You’re reading way too much into it." I don't necessarily believe that.

"DIRK: If I wanted another round of embarrassingly indulgent and mutually masturbatory psychoanalysis, I would have called my daughter instead. DAVE: hm DAVE: do i need to point out how fucking weird what you just said was or can that start going without saying at this point" This. This is Homestuck. This entire exchange.

" DIRK: The point is, playing myself up as a villain figure in this hacky rap pageant has nothing to do with getting people to dislike me. Besides, everyone loves a good villain. When they boo, they don’t really mean it." That has me thinking of Thog, a villain from Order of the Stick, actually. But yeah, Caliborn, Condy and others were really good villains. Doesn't mean we didn't mean it when we cursed them, though.

"DIRK: I think you’d be surprised by how popular I actually am. DAVE: i dunno man" At some point, playing the villain stops being a role, if you're too thorough in antagonizing the crowd. Dirk may have gone overboard here - in his role in the pageant I mean, I don't think anyone loves their god any less. Just one more way to show that, victory state or not, their original issues still come into play and challenge them to grow.

"DIRK: The point is, this is much less about me, and more about providing a foil for Jake’s heroism and charisma. DIRK: It’s very important that his popularity continues to be cultivated, to maximize his political capital. DAVE: political capital" ... Oooooh! Thinking three steps ahead of everyone again, nice going Dirk! I think Dirk might even have foreseen Dave rallying Karkat to stand against Jane, but I wonder which side he'll be choosing!

" DAVE: what the fuck are... DAVE: ok how long have you known about the jane thing DAVE: i mean is this something you have been planning for like DAVE: a long time or DIRK: Planning is such an intense word." Oh, he's trying to pull the strings again, is he? What game is he playing then, what policies does he want to instate, if any? ... Is Dirk a supposed xenophone too, or just playing to the tune of the largest group of swing voters?

" DAVE: jane is a shitty candidate dude DAVE: shes going to be so shitty DIRK: I thought you’d feel that way." ... Pfff I just realized Dirk wasn't typing, since this was a phone call. He's saying this all out loud! Typing's the old way of conversation, we discarded it for the most part, everyone has their Gift of Gab now. Well, hopefully at least Dave's part isn't being recorded and broadcast.

"DIRK: I respectfully disagree. DAVE: i get shes a good friend of yours and all but even you have to admit how far up her own ass she is DIRK: Of course. I consider it to be among her best qualifications for the job." Dirk might just be thinking: a self-absorbed candidate won't notice being pulled around. Even though she's, you know, his dear friend and all, he's still planning on manipulating her. :/ Old habits and such.

"DAVE: christ DAVE: ok if nothing else have you at least taken into account the DEVASTATION to the economy this will cause???" Strider Irony(tm).

"DIRK: Dave, I think if you search your soul, you’ll come to the same conclusion I have. Jane is just what this planet needs. DIRK: We’ve all had our fun here, but it’s easy to overlook the fact that civilization on Earth C is hardly a sustainable proposition. DIRK: Just beneath the surface, it’s quite a dangerous and unstable place." Oh, cool, so Dirk was acting on the same things Dave noticed, just having drawn different conclusions. Guess there's more to playing god as a winner of Sburb than sitting on your butt all day long, huh?

"DAVE: i know that DAVE: which is why actually i think it would be cool to have a president that is good instead of bad DIRK: He’s not as great as you think. DAVE: what" See, I know Dirk'll say Karkat, but I kind of wish he'd say Obama. :P

"DAVE: who DAVE: obama?? DAVE: how dare you" XD PFFFFFffffhah, okay, should've seen that coming.

"DIRK: I’m happy for both of you, really. It’s nice that you encourage and support each other in this way. But you’re sending him on a fool’s errand which can only end badly." Like, I understand where Dirk's coming from, we know how unbalanced Karkat is at his worst. But Dirk's seems to be the conservatist route, while the current status quo is so unbalanced someone with at least a little liberal thinking should try changing policy, little by little. ... Okay now Homestuck has me doing political discourse. Hussieeeeeeee! ... Why am I now picturing a Homestuck AU about the climate change truant student marches of Europe?

"DAVE: wait DAVE: how do you even know hes entering the race DAVE: we like just decided this DIRK: A competent political operative has his ways. DIRK: Besides, it was always pretty obvious to me you’d react this way the moment the announcement was made." Okay, not ruling out entirely Dirk has something spying on Dave, but that would verge too much on what Bro would've done in his place. He probably just cold-mindedly assessed his potential response.

"DAVE: cause if youve already got jake on your side then i guess we might as well just fucking quit DIRK: I wouldn’t worry about that. DIRK: He and I don’t quite have the rapport we once did. DIRK: He’s “over me” and doesn’t spare opportunities to make ostentatious demonstration of this claim. DAVE: um DIRK: Basically he doesn’t like being told what to do. Especially not by me." Cool, okay, so... Jake is needy in his own way, in showing he can fend for himself, at least that's how Dirk sees it. Guess they still hang out a lot though, just no longer "like that". That must be a letdown for the shippers, but a boon for the people that felt betrayed at seeing Dirk & Jake back together in the Credits. I like that middle road, actually! And hey, the versions of Jake & Dirk in the New Game Plus timeline, or whatever we should call it, are still fair game!

"DIRK: So it’s fair to say as of now, he’s still fully in play. DIRK: Not that I should be encouraging you, really. DAVE: you are one doubletalking son of a bitch you know that DAVE: i cant tell if you dont want us to run or are reverse psychology mindfucking us into running" Very true, that. Why would he share the truth about Jake if he wants to win, unless he wants fair competition? Best not to dwell on it too long on this neverending stairway of hidden intentions, lest we fall down it.

" DAVE: not like i can just stand around and wait for president crocker to like DAVE: write fucking grammar laws into the constitution" Pfffff, yes, I had forgotten about Jane's grammar practices, hahah. Guess she has a good running mate in Dirk for that, at least, capitalization and everything in order when he's not rapping.

"DIRK: Sorry to cut this short, but diapers are starting to come down pretty hard right now, and some of them haven’t even had their babies removed. DAVE: what" what. I hope it's at least consort babies, they're arguably the most resilient, as semi-sapient animals.

"DIRK: That was a joke." Ah.

"Jake can’t help but watch the motion, raking his eyes over the muscles shifting beneath the skin of Dirk’s neck and arms.

There is something implacably magnificent about Dirk Strider, Jake thinks, untamed like a wild game beast of incredible size and strength." ... Well then! I didn't think the narration would offer us this view from the perspective of Jake, thought it would be reseverd for John! Not entirely sure how I feel about the privilege of seeing Jake pine for Dirk, though. :P At least it clarifies where the allure is in it, for him. It's an extension of his taste for adventure and his upbringing on an island full of terribly powerful beasts.

"Of course, their history together is never far from Jake’s mind, however many years it’s been since their last tussle of an amorous nature. The old dramas and triumphs in the days of Sburb. Dirk’s companionship has been taxing to the heart, to say the least, and yet he’s taught Jake so much—about combat, philosophy, life, love." Okay, that is just such a Jake thing to phrase it like this. I'm glad we get to see he's not so oblivious or un-elloquent in his mind as he presents himself to the outside world, consciously or not.

"But sometimes, despite their checkered and problematic past, Jakes wishes that he could seize Dirk by the proverbial horns and wrest him bodily into becoming a much more agreeable fellow." Heheh, so Jake actually would like to impose on Dirk some manners. At least with him it stays with desires, while Dirk really did try to impose on Jake when they were together.

"DIRK: How about you kick off the next round? DIRK: I bet this crowd will settle its shit right down the moment you drop the latest rhymes you’ve been tinkering with." This is going to be painful to read, isn't it? ... If we're going to read them at all. ... I swear, this might just lead into them having "the xest rapoff in the history of Earth C".

"Jake’s face lights up. He composes himself, adjusting a bow tie, although he is not wearing one, and making a vague gesture like he’s twirling one end of that mustache Dirk has not yet let him grow. Dirk lets him go with a gentle smile, like the sort you’d give to a dog for performing a trick adequately. Jake responds to the signal like an Olympic athlete hearing the starter pistol. He was born for this." All the best and worst aspects of Dirk & Jake as a couple are basically summarized here. I mean, Dirk is not even WITH Jake and vetoes some of his choices. Then again, Jake really does have TERRIBLE (but hilarious) taste in mannerisms.

"JAKE: Tally ho its me, jake mcgee! JAKE: Popping my pistols off, two shots and a kiss JAKE: My aim is tops, i never miss" ... I'm not disappointed, this really IS almost physically painful to read, as expected.

... Okay that was actually a very amazing rap. Well thought out, good use of the vocabulary, dated though it is. I liked "jake-eng's" and "jape-slings" in particular, especially since that was what Vriska dismissed him as, a joke, a jape.

"The crowd, as Dirk rightly predicted, has settled its shit right down. This is not due to any accidental brilliance on the part of Jake English, but rather due to an abashed but loyal brand of pity, the kind a devoted fan cannot help but feel when they see a beloved celebrity make an ass out of themselves during a live broadcast they have waited two and a half years in line to buy a ticket for." I think this might be Dirk's POV. Not everyone's tastes in rap are as dignified as his, after all. :P Consorts in particular might love this. Then again, we saw John embarass carapacians not too long ago, they're not immune to pitying people. But hey, on the brightside, maybe some of the audience <>'s Jake now. :P

"Dirk’s phone begins going off again." Unless it's something more ominous, this is probably Dave having the last quip.

"With a casual flick of his wrist, Dirk snaps out a bright red tranquilizer handgun and shoots Jake in the neck. Jake’s glasses crack when he hits the mat. A chorus of boos rises up from the crowd like groundwater. Dirk artfully dodges a bucket of obscene troll fluid to field yet another very important personal call." ... Did Dirk actually use a Crockertech tranquilizer on his co-god? What the hell, Dirk? Guess all is fair in the ring.

And I suppose it's not Dave then that is calling him this time, if he takes such drastic measures.

"DIRK: Yo Rose, what's up?" Oooh, if we get to see this, that would be early we get to see Rose again! Dirk and Rose'll probably be planning their next move now that John has left. (Which I take Rose to already know about, through her Seer powers, or a call with Roxy.) ... Maybe some of their plans only could have worked IF John left, if they wanted to regain some measure of relevance through them.

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine one-shot “Pick and Choose” (Rated PG13)

Summary:

While having a drink together at Callbacks, Kurt and Rachel spy a handsome man sitting alone at the bar who seems to be interested at someone at their table.

They're just having a little trouble figuring out exactly who. (1858 words)

Read on AO3.

“He’s definitely gay,” Kurt declares as the man in question - sitting on a corner barstool at the exact perfect angle for Kurt and Rachel to ogle him equally - glances over. It isn’t the first time he’s noticed them. They’ve been staring at him hard for the past forty-five minutes. He can probably feel their eyes burning through his skull. This time, same as the others, he raises his beer to toast in their direction before taking a sip. Both pairs of eyes shift to his lips caressing the mouth of the bottle, then slide their way to the line of his neck lengthening as he leans his head back to suck down the last few mouthfuls of alcohol. When he’s done, he licks those sinful lips and tosses them a playful wink. The two friends catch their breath in unison.

“But how do you know?” Rachel asks. “What proof do you have?”

“What proof do you have that he’s straight?” Kurt says, sticking his nose in the air. “Besides, I don’t need proof. I just know. My intuition is that good.”

“Yeah,” she chuckles. “Right.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You forget – we went to high school together. Your intuition’s track record isn’t all that impressive.” Rachel raises her glass to the gentlemen at the bar in a similar toasting gesture, tosses him a similar flirty wink, and then takes a sip. But Kurt isn’t having it. He raises a hand off the table to brush a strand of hair away from his forehead, surreptitiously knocking the bottom of her glass with his knuckle. Sweet vermouth sloshes too quickly down her throat causing her to jerk back and sputter. It doesn’t help Kurt’s cause too much since the man at the bar had turned his head away in search of the bartender a second before, which that’s just as good since Kurt can admit it was a petty move.

Still, it made him feel better.

“No way he’s gay,” Rachel counters between coughs, glaring at Kurt as she pats her face dry with her napkin. “He’s been eye-fucking me for the last twenty minutes.”

Kurt laughs out loud. It gets the man’s attention. Sultry eyes find Kurt’s and hold them. His heart skips a beat.

“Oh no, my dear. That’s not eye-fucking ...” Kurt stops when the man raises an eyebrow. He realizes he must have read the word ‘fucking’ on his lips and his eyes open wide. The corner of the man’s mouth curls in amusement and Kurt blushes a deep cherry red. He prays the man doesn’t notice, but that’s the thing about Callbacks. For a piano bar, they keep the interior relatively well-lit. “That’s the look of confusion a person gets when they’re sure they’ve seen someone quasi famous but can’t place them.”

“Quasi? May I remind you that I was the lead actress in a beloved Broadway musical!?”

“Yeah, for about a week.”

“And I was on TV! Starring in my own show!”

“Again for about a week. Sorry. He may be looking at you occasionally, but the person he’s undressing with his eyes is me.”

The man chuckles, his gaze fixed on Kurt’s mouth, drawn to every word tumbling from his lips. His eyes catch the light overhead and they sparkle. That suggestive grin of his is like a fine wine – smooth, rich, subtly intoxicating in a way that sneaks up on you before you know you’ve had too much and makes you dizzy for hours. Kurt rests his cheek against his palm and sighs. It’s been a hot minute since a man has had this lovesick schoolboy effect on him, but he can’t help himself. The man at the bar, in his camel-colored slacks, button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and soft frame of curls surrounding his expressive face is exactly his type. He ticks all the boxes on Kurt’s dream guy checklist – appearance wise, anyway. If he has half as much personality as his half-cocked smile does, Kurt is in real danger of falling hard and fast for a stranger. If he could only convince Rachel to back off for five freakin’ minutes, maybe make a run to the bathroom so Kurt can approach the man and say hi. He hatches a plan. He’ll wait for her to take another sip of her drink. If he can get her to spill it down the front of her top this time, maybe he can …

“There’s only one way to solve this conundrum that I can see,” Rachel says, pushing back from the table and rising to her feet.

“And what’s that?” Kurt follows suit, because if Rachel Berry is about to do a single thing to sabotage his chances with this man, he wants to be right there next to her to hogtie and gag her if need be.

“We’ll both offer to buy him a drink, and see whose offer he accepts.”

“That’s … actually a good idea,” Kurt says, weeding his way around the tables to his left in an effort to get to the man first.

“Isn’t it?” Rachel says smugly. “Just remember, no matter what, we remain civil, and we stay friends.”

“Of course. But I need you to remember something, too.”

“What’s that?”

“After he accepts my offer and you head home, feed the cat? She must be starving.”

Rachel snorts in offense, but before she can retort, they arrive. They surround the man like juvenile lions – over-zealous, fidgety, and outmatched.

“Good evening,” the man says in a voice like silk and chocolate – two of Kurt’s favorite things. “I’m glad you finally decided to join me.”

“Look,” Rachel starts, getting the jump before Kurt can open his mouth, “this might sound odd, but …” For some reason, she stalls. Kurt side-eyes her, wondering if she’s about to deviate from the plan and stab him in the back instead.

“But?”

“But,” Kurt leaps in, debating for a second whether or not he should steal the chance to plunge his own proverbial dagger between Rachel’s thin shoulder blades, “we’ve both been watching you all night, and as creepy as that sounds …”

“… one of us would like to buy you a drink.”

The man’s eyes – a delectable honey-gold from close up - dance from one face to the other. “Is that right?”

“Yes. It’s just … uh …”

“… we need you to pick which one.”

And with that revelation, the man’s smile goes from bright to blinding. “I see. Well, that’s a new one.” He looks them both over from head to toe. Rachel looks at Kurt as if she might be second guessing her idea, and for the same reason that crosses his mind. What if he picks both of them? Kurt loves Rachel. Despite all of his bitching and moaning about her, he does. Like a sister. He’s not going to share a guy with her.

But he’s also not in the habit of giving up without a fight.

He knows all of Rachel’s weaknesses. Plus, she’s got a bum knee – a consequence of years of ballet. One well-placed kick and she’ll fold like a paper plate.

The man’s eyes bounce back over to Rachel’s face and stay there. “Aren’t you … Rachel Berry?”

She pulls herself up straight, confident that she’s come out victorious. “Yes. Yes, I am.”

“I’m Blaine.” He extends a hand. She offers hers for him to shake, but he lifts it to his lips and kisses it instead. Kurt’s red cheeks drain to a sickly pea green with envy. “Enchante.”

“I’m Kurt,” Kurt says with a wave, but Blaine isn’t looking Kurt’s way anymore.

“I saw you in Funny Girl before you left the show. You captured the essence of Fanny Brice perfectly. You’re very talented.”

“Thank you.”

“Your performance radiated her charm, her ingénue, her innate glamour ...”

“Oh do go on,” she says, twirling a strand of her long hair around her finger while simultaneously shooting Kurt a smirk. His shoulders sag. Oh well. Tonight is not his night, which stings considering he can’t seem to catch a break at all in the dating department lately. He thought he had a chance with a new photog at Vogue, but seven coffee dates in he found out from Isabelle that the guy in question had a girlfriend, and that he was buttering Kurt up in hopes of scoring the choice assignments.

Before that was Chase, but he transferred to the London office a few days after Kurt got hired on full time; and then Michael, who was sweet enough during work hours, but that was only because he was trying to sleep his way through every man in the office.

And Adam. Kurt met him at NYADA. They were in all the same classes, had everything in common. But his school visa ran out before the beginning of last summer.

Kurt guesses it’s true what they say – all the good guys are taken or straight.

Or just plain live in another country.

Ready to declare defeat, he backs away towards their abandoned table. He’ll settle their bill, pay for his two Diet Cokes and Rachel’s army of sweet vermouths, and then head home. He can hear their cat Sicily scolding him when he walks through the door for staying out so late. He’ll change into his pajamas, then they’ll curl up together on the couch – him eating strawberry cheesecake ice cream from the container while she sits on his shoulder and yawns hot fish breath against his cheek.

But a warm hand finds his and weaves their fingers together. When Kurt looks back at Blaine, he motions to the seat beside him with a tilt of his head.

“Would it be tacky to ask for an autograph,” Blaine asks, pulling Kurt over to the empty barstool, “while your handsome friend here buys me that drink?”

“I … what? Uh …” Rachel’s eyes pop. “N-no,” she says, the smile plastered to her face freezing awkwardly into place. “N-not at all. Anything for a fan.”

“Excellent. Because I’d really appreciate it.”

Kurt slides onto the barstool, expecting Blaine to let go of his hand once he’s taken his seat. But he doesn’t. He lifts Kurt’s hand to his mouth as he had with Rachel’s and kisses it, but this time, he lingers, breathing in the scent of Kurt’s skin as those kisses travel from his knuckles to his wrist. It mesmerizes Kurt, nearly leaves him speechless.

Nearly.

“Hey, Rach,” Kurt says as Rachel grabs a pen off the bar and starts searching for a slip of paper. “You know, I’m a fan, too. I’ve been a fan since high school.”

Rachel finds an old receipt lying not too far away. She signs her name to the blank back of it, along with a small message. And even though she makes it a point not to look at her triumphant friend while she does, her smile melts an inch. “Thanks, Kurt.”

“That said, in the spirit of doing anything for a fan, could you scoop the litter box, too? Because that would be faboo.”

[mbaljeetsingh]

Node.js Async Await Tutorial – With Asynchronous JavaScript Examples

One of the hardest concepts to wrap your head around when you're first learning JavaScript is the asynchronous processing model of the language. For the majority of us, learning asynchronous programming looks pretty much like this

If your first time working with async wasn't like this, please consider yourself a genius

As hard as it is to pick up, async programming is critical to learn if you want to use JavaScript and Node.js to build web applications and servers – because JS code is asynchronous by default.

Asynchronous Programming Fundamentals

So what exactly is the asynchronous processing model, or the non-blocking I/O model (which you've likely heard of if you're a Node.js user)?

Here's a TL;DR description: in an async processing model, when your application engine interacts with external parties (like a file system or network), it doesn't wait until getting a result from those parties. Instead, it continues on to subsequent tasks and only comes back to those previous external parties once it's gotten a signal of a result.

To understand the default async processing model of Node.js, let's have a look at a hypothetical Santa's workshop. Before any work can begin, Santa will have to read each of the lovely letters from kids around the world.

He will then figure out the requested gift, translate the item name into the Elvish language, and then pass the instruction to each of our hard working elves who have different specialisations: wooden toys for Red, stuffed toys for Blue, and robotic toys for Green.

This year, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, only half Santa's elves can come to his workshop to help. Still, because he's wise, Santa decides that instead of waiting for each elf to finish preparing a gift (that is, working synchronously), he will continue translating and passing out instructions from his pile of letters.

So on and so forth...

As he is just about to read another letter, Red informs Santa that he has completed preparing the first gift. Santa then receives the present from Red, and puts it to one side.

And then he continues translating and passing instructions from the next letter.

As he only needs to wrap a pre-made flying robot, Green can quickly finish preparation and pass the present to Santa.

After a whole day of hard and asynchronous work, Santa and the elves manage to complete all present preparation. With his improved asynchronous model of working, Santa's workshop is finished in record time despite being hard-hit by the pandemic.

So that's the basic idea of an asynchronous or non-blocking I/O processing model. Now let's see how it's done in Node.js specifically.

The Node.js Event Loop

You might have heard that Node.js is single-threaded. However, to be exact, only the event loop in Node.js, which interacts with a pool of background C++ worker threads, is single-threaded. There are four important components to the Node.js processing model:

Event Queue: Tasks that are declared in a program, or returned from the processing thread pool via callbacks. (The equivalent of this in our Santa's workshop is the pile of letters for Santa.)

Event Loop: The main Node.js thread that facilitates event queues and worker thread pools to carry out operations – both async and synchronous. (This is Santa. 🎅)

Background thread pool: These threads do the actual processing of tasks, which might be I/O blocking (for example calling and waiting for a response from an external API). (These are the hardworking elves 🧝🧝‍♀️🧝‍♂️ from our workshop.)

You can visualize this processing model as below:

Diagram courtesy of c-sharpcorner.com

Let's look at an actual snippet of code to see these in action:

console.log("Hello"); https.get("https://httpstat.us/200", (res) => { console.log(`API returned status: ${res.statusCode}`); }); console.log("from the other side");

If we execute the above piece of code, we would get this in our standard output:

Hello from the other side API returned status: 200

So how does the Node.js engine carry out the above snippet of code? It starts with three functions in the call stack:

"Hello" is then printed to the console with the corresponding function call removed from the stack.

The function call to https.get (that is, making a get request to the corresponding URL) is then executed and delegated to the worker thread pool with a callback attached.

The next function call to console.log gets executed, and "from the other side" is printed to the console.

Now that the network call has returned a response, the callback function call will then get queued inside the callback queue. Note that this step could happen before the immediate previous step (that is, "from the other side" getting printed), though normally that's not the case.

The callback then gets put inside our call stack:

and then we will see "API returned status: 200" in our console, like this:

By facilitating the callback queue and call stack, the event loop in Node.js efficiently executes our JavaScript code in an asynchronous way.

A synchronous history of JavaScript & Node.js async/await

Now that you have good understanding of asynchronous execution and the inner-workings of the Node.js event loop, let's dive into async/await in JavaScript. We'll look at how it's worked through time, from the original callback-driven implementation to the latest shiny async/await keywords.

Callbacks in JavaScript

The OG way of handling the asynchronous nature of JavaScript engines was through callbacks. Callbacks are basically functions which will be executed, usually, at the end of synchronous or I/O blocking operations.

A straightforward example of this pattern is the built-in setTimeout function that will wait for a certain number of milliseconds before executing the callback.

setTimeout(2000, () => { console.log("Hello"); });

While it's convenient to just attach callbacks to blocking operations, this pattern also introduces a couple of problems:

Callback hell

Inversion of control (not the good kind!)

What is callback hell?

Let's look at an example with Santa and his elves again. To prepare a present, Santa's workshop would have to carry out a few different steps (with each taking different amounts of time simulated using setTimeout):

function translateLetter(letter, callback) { return setTimeout(2000, () => { callback(letter.split("").reverse().join("")); }); } function assembleToy(instruction, callback) { return setTimeout(3000, () => { const toy = instruction.split("").reverse().join(""); if (toy.includes("wooden")) { return callback(`polished ${toy}`); } else if (toy.includes("stuffed")) { return callback(`colorful ${toy}`); } else if (toy.includes("robotic")) { return callback(`flying ${toy}`); } callback(toy); }); } function wrapPresent(toy, callback) { return setTimeout(1000, () => { callback(`wrapped ${toy}`); }); }

These steps need to be carried out in a specific order:

translateLetter("wooden truck", (instruction) => { assembleToy(instruction, (toy) => { wrapPresent(toy, console.log); }); }); // This will produced a "wrapped polished wooden truck" as the final result

As we do things this way, adding more steps to the process would mean pushing the inner callbacks to the right and ending up in callback hell like this:

Callbacks look sequential, but at times the execution order doesn't follow what is shown on your screen. With multiple layers of nested callbacks, you can easily lose track of the big picture of the whole program flow and produce more bugs or just become slower when writing your code.

So how do you solve this problem? Simply modularise the nested callbacks into named functions and you will have a nicely left-aligned program that's easy to read.

function assembleCb(toy) { wrapPresent(toy, console.log); } function translateCb(instruction) { assembleToy(instruction, assembleCb); } translateLetter("wooden truck", translateCb);

Inversion of Control

Another problem with the callback pattern is that you don't decide how the higher-order functions will execute your callbacks. They might execute it at the end of the function, which is conventional, but they could also execute it at the start of the function or execute it multiple times.

Basically, you are at the mercy of your dependency owners, and you might never know when they will break your code.

To solve this problem, as a dependency user, there's not much you can do about it. However, if you're ever a dependency owner yourself, please always:

Stick to the conventional callback signature with error as the first argument

Execute a callback only once at the end of your higher-order function

Document anything out-of-convention that is absolutely required and always aim for backward compatibility

Promises in JavaScript

Promises were created to solve these above mentioned problems with callbacks. Promises make sure that JavaScript users:

Stick to a specific convention with their signature resolve and reject functions.

Chain the callback functions to a well-aligned and top-down flow.

Our previous example with Santa's workshop preparing presents can be rewritten with promises like so:

function translateLetter(letter) { return new Promise((resolve, reject) => { setTimeout(2000, () => { resolve(letter.split("").reverse().join("")); }); }); } function assembleToy(instruction) { return new Promise((resolve, reject) => { setTimeout(3000, () => { const toy = instruction.split("").reverse().join(""); if (toy.includes("wooden")) { return resolve(`polished ${toy}`); } else if (toy.includes("stuffed")) { return resolve(`colorful ${toy}`); } else if (toy.includes("robotic")) { return resolve(`flying ${toy}`); } resolve(toy); }); }); } function wrapPresent(toy) { return new Promise((resolve, reject) => { setTimeout(1000, () => { resolve(`wrapped ${toy}`); }); }); }

with the steps being carried out nicely in a chain:

translateLetter("wooden truck") .then((instruction) => { return assembleToy(instruction); }) .then((toy) => { return wrapPresent(toy); }) .then(console.log); // This would produce the exact same present: wrapped polished wooden truck

However, promises are not without problems either. Data in each eye of our chain have a different scope and only have access data passed from the immediate previous step or parent scope.

For example, our gift-wrapping step might want to use data from the translation step:

function wrapPresent(toy, instruction) { return Promise((resolve, reject) => { setTimeout(1000, () => { resolve(`wrapped ${toy} with instruction: "${instruction}`); }); }); }

This is rather a classic "memory sharing" problem with threading. To solve this, instead of using variables in the parent's scope, we should use Promise.all and "share data by communicating, rather than communicate by sharing data".

translateLetter("wooden truck") .then((instruction) => { return Promise.all([assembleToy(instruction), instruction]); }) .then((toy, instruction) => { return wrapPresent(toy, instruction); }) .then(console.log); // This would produce the present: wrapped polished wooden truck with instruction: "kcurt nedoow"

Async/Await in JavaScript

Last but definitely not least, the shiniest kid around the block is async/await. It is very easy to use but it also has some risks.

Async/await solves the memory sharing problems of promises by having everything under the same scope. Our previous example can be rewritten easily like so:

(async function main() { const instruction = await translateLetter("wooden truck"); const toy = await assembleToy(instruction); const present = await wrapPresent(toy, instruction); console.log(present); })(); // This would produce the present: wrapped polished wooden truck with instruction: "kcurt nedoow"

However, as much as it's easy to write asynchronous code with async/await, it's also easy to make mistakes that create performance loopholes.

Let's now localise our example Santa's workshop scenario to wrapping presents and loading them on the sleigh.

function wrapPresent(toy) { return Promise((resolve, reject) => { setTimeout(5000 * Math.random(), () => { resolve(`wrapped ${toy}`); }); }); } function loadPresents(presents) { return Promise((resolve, reject) => { setTimeout(5000, () => { let itemList = ""; for (let i = 0; i < presents.length; i++) { itemList += `${i}. ${presents[i]}\n`; } }); }); }

A common mistake you might make is carrying out the steps this way:

(async function main() { const presents = []; presents.push(await wrapPresent("wooden truck")); presents.push(await wrapPresent("flying robot")); presents.push(await wrapPresent("stuffed elephant")); const itemList = await loadPresents(presents); console.log(itemList); })();

But does Santa need to await for each of the presents to be wrapped one by one before loading? Definitely not! The presents should be wrapped concurrently. You might make this mistake often as it's so easy to write await without thinking about the blocking nature of the keyword.

To solve this problem, we should bundle the gift wrapping steps together and execute them all at once:

(async function main() { const presents = await Promise.all([ wrapPresent("wooden truck"), wrapPresent("flying robot"), wrapPresent("stuffed elephant"), ]); const itemList = await loadPresents(presents); console.log(itemList); })();

Here are some recommended steps to tackle concurrency performance issue in your Node.js code:

Identify hotspots with multiple consecutive awaits in your code

Check if they are dependent on each other (that is one function uses data returned from another)

Make independent function calls concurrent with Promise.all

Wrapping up (the article, not Christmas presents 😂)

Congratulations on reaching the end of this article, I tried my best to make this post shorter, but the async topic in JavaScript is just so broad.

Here are some key takeaways:

Modularise your JavaScript callbacks to avoid callback hell

Stick to the convention for JS callbacks

Share data by communicating through Promise.all when using promises

Be careful about the performance implication of async/await code

We ❤️ JavaScript :)

Thank you for reading!

Last but not least, if you like my writings, please head over to my blog for similar commentaries and follow me on Twitter. 🎉

If you read this far, tweet to the author to show them you care.

[placetobenation]

Welcome to Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch! On a regular basis, JT Rozzero, Aaron George and Andrew Flanagan will watch an episode of TV’s greatest sitcom and provide notes and grades across a number of categories. The goal is to rewatch the entire series chronologically to see what truly worked, what still holds up today, what feels just a bit dated and yada, yada, yada it will be a great time. So settle into your couch with the cushions flipped over, grab a Snapple and enjoy the ride!

Best Character

JT: I liked Kramer the most here. He had some real funny lines and physical comedy throughout this one. His buried conversation enders are so good, especially slipping in that Newman was sleeping in Jerry’s bed. I also loved the delivery of his “for a fat man” line to Jerry. He was on his game in this one.

Aaron:  You’d think a pile of lesbians were fighting/lovemaking on stage if you were reading my mind, sifting through the depravity and listening to the “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry” chant. In an episode full of characters trying waaaaaay too hard, Jerry delivers with one liner after one liner. Imagine an episode where Jerry Seinfeld is the most grounded of the actors. This is it. Wait till you see the score.

Andrew: I think it was Elaine. The obsession with proving someone wrong, even at great cost to yourself, always gets me. Also, I’m a sucker for Elaine annoying people with a cigar.

Best Storyline

JT: I liked the blood the most. Jerry was annoying at points by being such an ungrateful bitch but he had some good dismissive lines and watching battle the Mandelbaums again was well done. And like I said above, I really enjoyed Kramer and this was the story he lived in for most of the episode. The meat sex stuff had funny moments but not much of a story to it and the Elaine stuff was fine too but didn’t have as many laughs.

Aaron: Polish, sausage, dancing.

Andrew: I’ll go with The Blood. I wasn’t a fan of any of the storylines, really, but the return of the Mandelbaums was my favorite part of the episode.

Ethical Dilemma of the Week

JT: If someone saves your life, you should probably not be a dick to them as soon as later that day.

Aaron: I’m going to go the opposite of JT and ask: even if you’ve saved someone’s life (which us debatable considering they were in a hospital full of blood) how do you live with yourself bringing a sworn enemy literally into someone’s bed? I get that these guys share a lot, but do they not even have a bed for that beast of a mailman to sleep in? If anything Kramer STILL owes Jerry favors for years of mooching and advantage taking. Has he ever borrowed that car without completely destroying it?

Andrew: What is the limit of the obligation when graciously accepting a gift from one’s parents? I’m going to say it’s somewhere short of “tying myself to a car”.

Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)

JT: Kramer and Jerry, finally brought together by blood. A love made official. Relationship Grade: 3 Pints of Kramer/10

Aaron: George should keep banging that Vivian like a middle aged Neil Peart stuffing his face and trudging his way through YYZ. Relationship Grade: Boun ba ba boun ba baoun baoun baoun, ba ba baoun, ba ba baoun. Baoun badrrruuum. Down da down da down daaaaun. Dawn da down de daoun daounnnnnnn.

Andrew: I know the kid is presented as a burden, but I’m into the George and Vivian pairing. I just like the thought that there is a match for every kink out there. Relationship Grade: 10 sensual cured meats/10

What Worked:

JT: The plum diet seems like a good one; I always mark out for Morty saying “Mister Kramer”; Jerry’s point about responsibility is good one; George’s bus transfer excuse made me laugh; Jerry and George’s conversation about George bailing on Tara was really funny; Kramer going all in on calling Jerry fat in various ways was great; I enjoyed Elaine shoving Kramer into the bushes and smacking him with the broom as he yelped; I liked the payoff with the exacto knife, it was set up well earlier in the episode; Kramer demonstrating how he would rip out his kidney was great; Canadian Parliament; Newman sneaking in to watch the movie; Izzy putting the hurting on Jerry with his training was well done; the sausage making scene is a classic; Jerry calling George “Caligula”; Newman giving Jerry his blood was a good capper

Aaron: All of Jerry’s analysis and pleading with George to, for once think of someone’s else’s needs. The group screaming and Kramer’s messed up justification for needing to store so much blood in a blood bank. As someone who has watched Canadian parliament it busted me up to learn that Kramer not only watches, but records for later viewing. It’s not nearly as polite as one would imagine. Think more childish, with a lot of high pitched voices screeching “MISTER SPEAKER.” George’s series of lies, which inexplicably won over Vivian,  were great and the only thing that felt anywhere in the realm of reality.

Andrew: There’s not much to praise here, story-wise, but the episode still has some memorably great dialog. Kramer’s “for a fat man, you’re not very jolly” is excellent, and George and Jerry have some great back and forth in the diner (“I’m not suggesting getting rid of the girl”, followed by the “needs” line, is the high point for me). Elaine being compelled to prove her responsibility, and getting stuck with a permanent babysitting gig as a result, was well done. I enjoyed seeing the Mandlebaums again, and Kramer’s screen door callback got me.

What Didn’t Work

JT: Tara saying “love making”, eh; Jerry being so insanely afraid of Kramer’s blood was a bit much, just way too over the top; someone should pull a President Lincoln on that kid; I also thought Jerry was really ungrateful for Kramer’s blood, dude saved your life… stop being a bitch; who fucks a random at their kids’ birthday party?; The Izzy voiceovers at the end were terrible; why is Jimmy wearing that hat? Is it 1954?

Aaron: Is Jerry dead? They dragged him for a quarter mile which was way longer than it took to kill that dog in National Lampoon’s Vacation. This whole episode felt fake. If the paragraph above is what I felt worked then you can comfortably put the rest here. I know George has pulled some schemes but are we really to believe that a man whose entire mission in life has been to get laid, is now trading that for food and television? What kind of animal is this man? What’s wrong with Jerry? I get he’s a germaphobe, but he can’t be in a building with blood. A building???? Elaine would rather raise a child than tell a woman she barely seems to know or care about that she hates her son. Her son might be the most hateable character in western civilization. Even Kramer felt forced. I get he’s dumb, but blood in a car? Come on writers. Do better. I don’t want to go on any more. This was a mess. Also Mandelbaum sucked the high hard one.

Andrew: Vivian is wearing a gray pantsuit the first two times we see her, which seems pretty unimaginative. The dubbing of Mr. Mandlebaum’s dialogue at the end has always seemed really distracting to me.

Key Character Debuts

– Vivian

Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes

– “That’s why we joined a program. We walk once around the block three times a week.” – Helen “And every morning I eat a plum.” – Morty

– “Did you give blood?” – Jerry “No, not giving. hoarding. I’m storing it in to a blood bank. Just in case.” – Kramer “In case of what?” – Jerry “Jerry, I know myself. If I’m out on the street and it’s starts to go down, I don’t back off until it’s finished.” – Kramer

– “I know, I’m glad I got to see him before he hit puberty and got, you know all lurchy and awkward.” – Elaine

– “Who wants to responsible? When ever anything goes wrong, the first thing they ask is: who’s responsible for this?” – Jerry

– “So, she didn’t appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted cured meats?” – Jerry “She tolerated the strawberries and the chocolate sauce, but eh, it’s not a meal, you know? Food and sex, those are my two passions. It’s only natural to combine them.” – George

– “Maybe instead of trying to satisfy two of your needs, how about satisfying one of somebody else’s.” – Jerry

– “You know, for a fat guy you’re not very jolly.” – Kramer

– “You? I’m more responsible than you are!” – Elaine “Don’t be ridiculous. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to fill my freezer with my own blood.” – Kramer

– “Oh yeah, you’ve got three pints of Kramer in you, buddy.” – Kramer

– “She’s right, I heard Kramer got mugged out on the suburbs on a baby-sitting gig.” – Kramer

– “So, my blood is not enough. Would you like a kidney too, because I’ll give it to you? I’ll rip it out right here and stack it on the table!” – Kramer

– “So, the free love buffet is over?” – Jerry “I got greedy. Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami.” – Jerry “Yeah, that’s what you did…I can’t believe I got another session with Izzy Mandelbaum, he’s probably makes me box a kangaroo.” – Jerry

– “All right, Even Steven. Oh, by the way, when you get back to your apartment try to keep it down because Newman is taking a nap in your bed.” – Kramer

– “Yes it is. I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted cured meats. Hungry?” – Vivian

Oddities & Fun Facts

– Lloyd Bridges was nominated for an Emmy for his role as Izzy Mandelbaum

Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)

JT: This wasn’t the strongest episode we have watched and did fade at the end but there is some quality dialogue peppered all through this one. It is definitely an episode carried on the back of actors that know their characters and relationships on a top notch, deep level because it was often the timing and delivery that made the big lines pop. The Mandelbaum return was a nice surprise but that really just kind of ends too, as do all of the stories here. Nothing quite paid off in a satisfying way. Also, that stupid fucking hat that Vivian’s kid had on was obnoxious. Fuck him. I am off to box a kangaroo. Final Grade: 6/10

Aaron: This episode sucked. It felt like a different show devoid of the characters we know and love. The writing was forced and I feel worse for having watched this one. Final Grade: 1/10

Andrew: I didn’t really care for this one. None of the storylines do it for me, which makes it hard for me get into the episode. And there are no big moments to make up for the less-than-inspired writing. But there are some genuine laughs and quality dialogue to be found, so the episode isn’t a complete disaster. Final Grade: 6/10

[furederiko]

Countdown Counter: 11. Kyuranger 38 is a martial art fan-service fest! And a story of a Commander and his hesitation regarding his chain of command...

- The downside of having a large team is that every now and then, several members would be eclipsed by the others. Such is the case for Commander Xiao who unfortunately happens to be NOT Red, thus his leadership is being overshadowed by both Reds. Tsurugi is calling the shots to the operation, and Lucky gets to lead one Away Team. Xiao (and his rigged Kyulette) is definitely ignored! - There are some neat little things in the opening scene. Though it's disappointing that all of them are seemingly male, we get to see the 4 Barrier-breaking Sages in Tsurugi's story. I don't know about you, but I would love to see more of the 88 Warriors of the past, like these guys and also Kuervo whom we'll see more in the episode. And then there's that bit with Lucky taking off his new white royalty coat, and exchanges it with the usual Rebellion jacket. He might be a King he says, but when he heads out for mission, he's a regular Kyuranger like everyone else. No special treatment. Nice excus... I mean attention to details! - The team is split in two as they head towards different directions. Tsurugi, Garu, Naga, Hammy, Raptor, and a slumped Xiao head to the Yin-Yang landscape of Planet Atchaalk in the Cepheus System, while Lucky and the others depart to play video game Planet Ghem in the Perseus System. The latter team immediately runs into a newly upgraded Mecha-Madako. She's now the Menaster of the system and is exclusively tasked to stop their mission. Hmmm... first Akyanba, now Madako, Toku designers sure are obsessed with mechanical boobs, huh? - Team Tsurugi arrives at the Kyulin Temple. In the past, Tsurugi and Kuervo had to overcome the Nine Trials of Cepheus before they could gain the trust and assistance of its warrior. This time around, the Kyurangers need to defeat Menaster Deathgong, if they ever want to move ahead to locate the Constellation's power. Let the trials begin!!! Fun fact: Setting for Kyulin Temple is a commonly used Chinese-themed location in Tokusatsu. In Super Sentai alone, it has been used plenty of times, most notably in the wushu-themed "Engine Sentai Go-onger vs Juuken Sentai Gekiranger". Then again, I think pretty much every scenes involving Gekiranger's Rin JuuKen practitioners were filmed here! As for the 'Trials', it's obviously just another playful use of the number 9, and doesn't have anything to do with mythology. In the Greek stories, it's Herakles who had to undergo 12 Labors, and none of those was even related to King Cepheus. Sure, the demi-God hero DO know of a King by the same name, but he's a completely different person unrelated to this Constellation. - 1st Trial - 'Hellish Chamber'. The team needs to defeat 99 Indavers in just one minute. Phoenix Soldier takes care of this in a zippy, by Phoenix End-ing more than 1/3 of the army. Gotta love Garu's reaction to being outmatched by Hammy. LOL. Draco Commander's back gets in the way, so he only gets 5 Indavers. Ouch! Tsurugi tells Xiao to don't mind that, because Kuervo also scored the same number back then. Team encounters the first crossroads, so they pair up and split into three groups to take on challenges in separate paths. - 2nd Trial - 'Muscle Building Chamber'. Basically, they need to perform 9999 sit-ups. Tsurugi gets to deliver another sweaty shirtless fan-service scene, while Raptor... cheers. Yep, lately the extra member seems to be in charge of shirtless fan-service spree, and Tsurugi firmly joins Zyuohger's Misao and ToQger's Akira in this category. To be honest, what he's doing is a little cheating, because a proper sit-up requires to lean a liiiitle bit lower. This is more in the line of abs-crunching. But I guess there's no definite rule for this trial, and it's still a demanding task nonetheless. Hold on... I wonder why Raptor doesn't take this challenge instead? She's an android, so doing repetitions like this shouldn't be 'exhausting' for her, right? - 3rd Trial - 'Kitchen Chamber'. Hammy and Garu are tasked for a cook-off and impress the Indaver-judges. This one is another cheat, because they immediately contact Spada for clue despite being star systems away. Hammy whips up the Pisces Kyu Globe, and the two serves... fresh SUSHI to win the trial. For the record, making Sushi isn't as 'easy' as this episode suggests. But it's reasonably quick, and can be done by people with limited cooking skill and utensil knowledge. So uhm... you get the point. LOL. - 4th Trial - 'Game Chamber'. Red Light, Green Light. I'm personally not familiar with this game (we don't actually play it in my country... but I'm an introvert, so who am I to say XD), but once again, the team has an upper hand in Naga's ability. Xiao and his weak back might not be up for this posing game, but that's not a problem for Naga's freeze glare. - 5th Trial - 'Dance Chamber'. The title says it all, as the team unites for a quick rock n' roll... I mean Kyulette the Chance 'Just Dance' session. Daang, I wish this scene is muuuch longer. Seriously producers, we need a Kyuranger Musical!!! - 6th Trial - 'Resilience Chamber'. Hammy partners up with Raptor for... a nice hot spring bathhouse challenge! Yep, we finally get the ladies moment, and it's totally fan-service. Aaaawwww.... *v*. But really, I wish this scene plays out muuuuuch longer too. Not because I'm pervy or anything, but because we rarely see the female members in this show hug... I mean hang around casually like this. I could be mistaken or anything, but we haven't had that annual girl-power trope episode so far, have we? By the way, I'm surprised that Raptor can endure this challenge without getting... rusty. Oh well, carry on! - 7th Trial - 'Funny Face Chamber'. Garu and Naga engage in a staring fight against the Indavers, a challenge that even yours truly would lose pretty instantly. It's a nice callback to the fact that neither of them knew the Indavers are wearing masks! Naga is hilarious, and it's even moreso because he doesn't realize it. LOL. - 8th Trial - 'Shooting Chamber'. Tsurugi steals Xiao's thunder all over again, by blasting all the targets away... with his SHIELD-BLADE. I did NOT know his armaments can do that. Even Deathgong sees Tsurugi as the only major threat of this group, a premature assumption that would backfire very harshly. - Before they head to the last one, Xiao and Tsurugi have a sweet heart to heart moment that pretty much serves as the highlight of this episode (at least for me). Ignoring how or where Tsurugi can even obtain those canned coffee, it's a surprisingly stark metaphor to real life situation. In all honesty, Xiao is like an old man whom his family slowly ignores the more they grow up, while Tsurugi is that hip trendy outsider who just recently becomes a new addition to the pack. This sweet intimate moment gives Xiao a chance to reflect on his limitations, but also allows Tsurugi to prove his kindness and wisdom. "You assembled the brightest stars in the universe into a single team", he praises. To which he also reminds Xiao that the Commander has his own way of handling thing. As in, everyone has their own role and place in the world. That's a strong message right there! - 9th Trial - ''Infighting Chamber'. Expecting a Jark Matter MotW to play fair and square would be a fever dream. Deathgong has captured Garu, Naga, Hammy, and Raptor as soon as they completed their challenges, and now pits them against the Cold-Sleep Duo. This is where the Menaster learns that underestimating Xiao becomes his fatal error. True to his words, Xiao knows each and every Kyuranger thoroughly (most of them at least... am I right, Naga?). It doesn't take long for him to realize that the seemingly-controlled Kyurangers attacking them are nothing but FAKES. This is how he's be superior than Tsurugi, because he has the power of perceptive! Aside from spending more time with the team to know that their reaction feels off, of course. LOL. - Freed from Deathgong's clutches through Xiao's signature sleazy trick, the four Kyurangers get to perform wushu-style attacks against the Indavers! Aquila Pink uses #81 Grus, Chamaeleon Green uses #85 Lynx, Ophiucus Silver uses #65 Hydrus, and Lupus Blue gets to shuffle (to genuine hilarious effect) both #52 Canis Majorand #66 Canis Minor Kyu Globe. Totally neat! Too bad Tsurugi doesn't get a part. He could've used the Bird of Paradise or Peacock constellations, if you ask me *grins*. - Draco Commander closes the curtain with a flashy end though. In a neat wushu-showdown serving as a cool homage to "Gosei Sentai Dairanger", Draco Commander utilizes his 'RyuKenpou' and blasts Deathgong to defeat with a Kameham... er, Dragon Ba... I mean, Energy Ball! - A fun trick is also utilized in the mecha battle. Ryutei-Oh has always been limited as a three-people robot. By borrowing Phoenix Voyager's rocket booster components (that form the hands of Kyutamajin), Draco Commander turns it into a FIVE-people combo. While benching out Phoenix Soldier on the ground as a cheerleader passive spectator. LOL. It's a nice change of pace that probably only toy collectors are aware of. I do hope we'll get to see this form more often, but that likely won't be the case and just a one-off thing. - On the other planet, Mecha-Madako uses a special controller to trigger Champ's malfunction. A not-so-mysterious person handed it to her earlier. Things are only starting to get serious there, but that will be our story for next week. On the bright side, the Kyulin Temple's Head Monk (at least, he looks like one?) is freed. As a token of gratitude, he grants the Constellation System's power to create the #54 Cepheus Kyu Globe. That means TWO down, and two more to go...

Overall: This episode was Goofy Fun! I'm a little disappointed, because I was expecting it to be 'crazier' and MORE comedic. But overall, it had truly fine fan-service heavy moments that once again, would've been even awesome had they played out a little bit longer. Garu and Naga were the MVPs, they stole the scenes and made me LOLed real hard. The warm interchange between Xiao and Tsurugi also worked in favor of elevating this rather hectic episode into a different level. Yep, this was a fantastic focus episode for Xiao, that smartfully harkened back to his early dilemma in the series. Being a hero is what Xiao had always wanted, so it's only natural that he started recognizing his own limitations and doubted if he's even right for the job. I think we can all safely say that this was a nice wrap to Xiao's personal arc. Next week: Fight on R.P.G. Knights, and reclaim your Champ!!!

Episode 38 Score: 7,8 out of 10

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When Xmas Cavs Grow Up

Just to get all my thoughts in one place, especially as a) I haven’t talked about Seth & Orson in a long time and b) FE15 happened.

One of the (cough) archetypical hallmarks of Fire Emblem casts is the “Cain and Abel,” meaning not murderous siblings but a pair of matched knights who are friends or friendly rivals. One wears red and one wears green, one is loud and the other is quiet, one is serious and the other is fun-loving, often one whacks things with a sword while the other spears things with a lance. It’s a consistent enough trope to get its own page (70) in the 20th anniversary artbook.

But what happens when these bright young things grow up? Well, a couple of FE games have given us a glimpse of it.

Spoilers for Archanea, Jugdral, Magvel, and Valentia follow.

Archanea: Cain and Abel

“I work with a knight called Abel. I tend to get carried away, but he balances me out with his calmness.”

“When there are two precious things in your life… you must choose between them.

So, during the War of Heroes (FE3 Book II/FE12), Cain and Abel aren’t "the Cain & Abel” anymore. A new pair of trainee knights, “rowdy” Luke and “steady” Roderick, fill those roles with Roderick’s love interest Cecil rounding them out as a trio of cavaliers. So what’s become of the OG Christmas Cavs?

Yeah, OK, I think everyone here knows this story. If you don’t, FE Heroes gives you the Cliff’s Notes versions. Cain stayed at Marth’s side, trained a new crop of knights, and per FE3 Book II was trusted enough to help govern Altea when Marth went on missions elsewhere, and became Marth’s advisor after Jagen’s iron bones finally rusted out. Cain’s loud, he likes training, he’s nicknamed The Bull, he’s basically got no life outside of serving Marth.

Meanwhile Abel, the suave Panther to Cain’s Bull, retired, got married, opened a shop, and got dragged back into the war when his wife Est got held hostage by the bad guys, betrayed Marth, got forgiven for it, and then disappears forever after the war, chasing after an equally forever-disappeared Est. We know he and Cain are BFFs because Fire Emblem lore consistently tells us they’re friends, not because they actually have any scenes together or anything. They’ve been imitated, echoed, expied, et cetera.

Cain joins the party in FE12 as an unpromoted Level 9 cavalier, Abel joins many chapters later as a Level 1 paladin. (Don’t ask me how he got that promotion.)

Highlight: You get a better sense of Cain&Abel’s eternal legend from their expies Sully and Stahl in FE13 than you do from the originals.

Jugdral: Glade and Finn

“Glade, this is just the beginning. We still have a long way ahead of us.”

“Yes, we must return to Lenster and restore the flag of the Gae Bolg… That’s when we can finally have a drink together again.”

Archetypes weren’t really a thing during the SNES era but there were definitely call-backs even in the first five installments and FE5 had more than a few callbacks to FE3 specifically (hi, Asvel! Hi, Shannam!). Enter our next pair of veteran BFFs. If you only know Glade as the punchline to the Choose Your Heroes poll them I recommend reading this on Reddit as a primer.

Glade fits into what’s generally seen as the “Cain” archetype– maybe not as naturally talented as his BFF but known for his hard work and enthusiasm. He’s outspoken enough to criticize allies– even (allegedly) royal allies– who are letting down the cause and he’s openly affectionate with his wife Selphina. Life in the resistance has been hard and he’s accumulated a lot of regrets but he’s still in there trying. Finn is the more introverted of the pair, less willing to go on the record about his opinions, less able to demonstrate affection– which impacted his relationship with his own MIA apparent-love-interest Lachesis and is contributing to a strained relationship with his daughter Nanna. His sole passion, if it counts as one, appears to be geopolitical. “Another Abel with the same shitty taste in women,” one member of the FE Subreddit called him in a thread where passions were running high, and while that phrasing isn’t really fair to anyone involved, the underlying connection is legit IMO, though maybe not in the way that poster thought.

Glade and Finn aren’t polar opposites so much as they are variations on a theme (they even use the same weapon), in large part because Glade appears to be Finn’s deliberate foil, spun off to do the exact things FE4!Finn was doing that didn’t gel with where his FE5!characterization was taking him. They’re both loyal, patriotic, and so forth, and they’ve both suffered hardship for the cause of Prince Leif and Leonster, but whatever stroke of fate let Finn catch Prince Quan’s favor when they were kids while Glade stayed behind in Leonster has put a gap between them that friendship can’t bridge 100%. Glade’s doing his job and accumulating worldly success, Finn’s on a crusade that entails high personal sacrifice. Glade’s got his regrets, Finn’s outright broken inside. Glade’s a leader; Finn’s a hero. Glade makes history; Finn becomes a legend.

Unlike Cain & Abel they have actual in-game dialogue, plus the Leonster’s Fall short story in the Thracia artbook to give a sense of who they were as young knights before everything went to utter shit. There’s a lot of emotional build-up to their mid-battle reunion, which itself isn’t that emotional a scene but does include the “we’ll have a drink later” line that seemingly evokes the dialogue between Sigurd and Eldigan early in FE4. Given how that friendship played out, this would seem ominous… but, as it happens, fate has pretty much done its worst to these two already. There’s no betrayal, no falling out. After the war Glade enjoys his hot wife and promotion and makes New Thracia into an efficient and modern war machine. Finn disappears into the desert for three years because Reasons but he does come back. Remake plz?

Finn’s in Leif’s starting party as a Level 7 unpromoted unit, Glade joins in Ch13 as a Level 2 promoted unit.

Highlight: In spite of all the ways in which Jugdral is hell this is the only world in which our Veteran Cav BFFs might have the chance to continue their friendship later in life.

Magvel: Seth and Orson

“If Orson can turn his back on Renais… We remaining knights will have to work all the harder to prove ourselves!”

“You’re an impressive knight, Seth. You would sacrifice your life for king and country. Not even a moment’s pause. It’s a pitiful, unrewarding life, through and through.”

One of my contentions about FE8 has always been that, despite the mechanical similarities to FE2 (dual lords, monsters, etc) that the plot was a reworking of the War of Heroes, with more emphasis on character development and far less on the overall heroic myth. Given the shit that dedicated knights go through for their Lords, it was only a matter of time before we got to see what happened when somebody actually snapped. Abel betrayed Marth and all but he didn’t mean to, and Marth forgave him, and he’s just kind of an incoherent mess (see: FE Heroes) thereafter of his loyalty and his love for Est and his regrets for his treason. Finn breaks inside but keeps going on his impossible path despite a wasteland of collateral damage (including Glade at one point) around him and stakes that rise from “stay alive” to “reclaim Leonster” to “unify all Thracia” to “liberate entire continent from Dark Lord” because well, that’s what he does. Either way, they lose the girl (to say the least). Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. 

Enter Orson, who looks at this particular bad deal being offered and says “to hell with that.”

So Orson and Seth are knights of Renais. Orson seems to be the older of the two. He’s got a quiet and serene personality (so, he’s the Abel) and he’s got a wife named Monica. Seth is the commander of the Knights of Renais, is renowned as The Silver Knight, has the other young knights looking up to him. He’s not boisterous like some of the Cain-types but he’s got the red hair, the training-freak personality (see: FE Heroes), and so on. Seth in typical Cain fashion doesn’t have a ladyfriend… yet. Hold that thought.

Long story short, Orson doesn’t betray Renais because Monica’s being held as a hostage. He betrays Renais because Monica’s already dead and in the grave six months and Grado’s dark powers offer her back in some horrible fashion. He sells out his country to enjoy alone time with the ghastly puppet of his wife, and when Seth finally confronts him mid-game Orson’s just sane enough to offer a concise and brutal takedown of the whole knighthood thing. And this hits Seth hard, because Seth’s been keeping his own secrets– specifically, his improper feelings for his liege lady princess Eirika– and FE8′s story is an entire gallery of bad examples of what twisted love can do to a person. Orson, Carlyle, Lyon himself– this roll call of the mad and the damned is what’s held up to Seth as his fate should he give into his heart: “there but for the grace of god(s) go I.”

But Magvel is surprisingly kind to Seth, offering him a happy ending with Eirika in spite of his own protests or a union with the lovely priestess Natasha. Orson gets a dirt nap in the company of what’s left of Monica.

Seth joins at the start as a Level 1 Paladin, Orson joins in Ephraim’s first chapter as a Level 3 Paladin before turning his colors.

Highlight: This is the only case in which the Veteran Cavs are not in some sense a retcon onto the source material.

Valentia: Clive and Fernand

“Enough, Fernand. You’ve suffered enough. You needn’t flog yourself any further.”

“Good… I am…rather tired. Tired of despair… Tired of rage… But Clive…I’m glad I got to see you one last time.”

FE2 didn’t have anything mapping to the "Cain & Abel” Xmas Cav archetype because it wasn’t an archetype yet and definitely didn’t have any take on the adult version thereof. FE15, besides retconning Forsyth into the ambitious Green Knight to the stolid Red Knight played by Lukas, plum invented an entire “veteran cav BFFs” tragic subplot for us to enjoy. Nice.

So on the one hand we have Clive. Clive’s the leader of the rebel group known as the Deliverance, has impeccable breeding and a glowing reputation, a sizable chunk of the playable cast has the hots for him, etc. He’s got a canon love interest, the glamorous paladin Mathilda, so you might expect based on the above that the plot-gods are about to take a wrecking ball to Clive’s life.

Except Clive also has a BFF and his BFF has problems. Orson at least has the pretense of being on the lords’ side before Seth unmasks him as a traitor. Fernand’s a prick from the moment he shows up on screen and promptly flounces from the Deliverance all in a froth over being led by a “farmboy” like Alm and lends his services (such as they are) to Rigel’s Lord Berkut. There’s also a hint that Fernand is actually into Mathilda himself (oh noes), but the entire Deliverance scene is rife with homoerotic subtext[*] and Fernand’s got a pretty bad case of it. Since Clive still cares a lot about his BFF we then have to make the attempt to redeem Fernand, which of course fails, so this particular version of the veteran cav subplot ends with a big dramatic death scene with a CG and lots of ellipses and everything. 

Their whole subplot is wrapped up in an interesting if maybe not entirely successful take on what knights exactly are for– what kind of ruler is a legitimate ruler? How is that ruler best served? Unlike all of the previous examples, Clive and Fernand started their careers as knights sworn to a shitty, useless, negligent king, one whose bloodline was apparently extinct by the start of the game. There’s never any question that Cain serves Marth, that Glade and Finn serve Leif, that Seth serves the twins of Renais. If Abel and Orson waver it’s not because Marth or the twins are not the right lords to serve, but because Abel and Orson have personal weaknesses. But Clive and Fernand both have to make an actual conscious choice as to whom they are going to serve, and Clive makes the right choice (with a lot of second-guessing along the way) and Fernand doesn’t, the end.

Clive joins as a Level 6 cavalier; Fernand is not playable in the main game.

Highlight: These guys get their own prequel in the Rise of the Deliverance DLC, wherein Fernand is playable .

* Xmas Cavs and their grown-up equivalents generally do have some measure of that goin’ on (Seth and Orson being an exception), but the Deliverance is pretty hard to overlook.