#‘it doesn’t give any of the women agency other than his wife’ do you….want them to have agency in this….?

[hamletthedane]

Thank you for reminding me of my other least favorite criticism of this movie.

Love that Oppenheimer is a deeply disturbing horror movie about a man forced to accept that he is, in a person, the representative manifestation of mankind’s evil in committing one of the greatest horrors of human history - LITERALLY acting as the modern Prometheus, tormented by his sins for the remainder of time. Knowing that he will never be pitied and his actions will forever be utterly unforgivable because the blood of genocide and the potential of total human annihilation will eternally drip from his hands.

But also the simultaneous indictment by the film that to blame a single person for the Manhattan Project is to refuse to accept your own capacity for great evil if the ends ever seem to justify the means, and the culpability of every member of a species that lets itself create something so unspeakably terrible.

Hate that twitter’s take on such a nuanced and brilliantly handled examination of those issues is “movie bad because protagonist not evil enough.”

[agentrouka-blog]

What made you first interested in Jonsa? I really want to love Jonsa. Which may sound strange. But hear me out. I’ve read all the metas and from a metatextual level I really agree with and believe in Jonsa. But I have trouble actually enjoying it and I think maybe it’s because so much content seems to focus on Jon pining over Sansa. I’d much prefer to see things from Sansa’s perspective where she sees the hero in him and sees that maybe all the songs aren’t lies after all as opposed to him “winning her over.” I feel I have been inundated my whole life with stories of outcast men pining over beautiful women they see as out of their league and “winning them over” and I honestly find the trope tiring because it’s so male perspective focused and doesn’t give Sansa the agency of choosing her lover, instead, making her something to be won or earned. If you have any suggestions for Jonsa content that focuses heavily on Sansa’s point of view, on her falling for Jon first (or at least falling for each other at the same time without realizing it) I’d love to hear them! And I’d love to hear what makes Jonsa appeal to you on a personal non-meta level!

Hi there!

I too draw a difference between Jonsa as a theory and shipping it for entertainment.

I've drifted quite a bit away from what you describe as "content", which is fanworks, art and fanfiction. My tastes are very narrow and that puts me outside the target audience for a lot of what is being shared by creators. Plus, I get a great deal more personal enjoyment out of just interpreting the canon text. I enjoy what the couple represents in the narrative more than I necessarily enjoy immersing myself in different non-canonical variants.

And there's a lot of variants. You have two similar but also very different canon-sources (books and tv show) and within those two sources very different takes on the couple. For as many "Jon pines for higborn Sansa" approaches you get an equal amount of "Sansa jealously pines for her brother's oblivious best friend" modern au's. What we enjoy in recreational reading is extremely personal and subjective.

That said, for fear of disappointing you, I don't particular enjoy the "Sansa falls first" scenarios because what I like about the couple especially is the idea of Sansa finally being appreciated for who she is. Canon offers us plenty of examples of Sansa extending affection and crushes on other characters. They are never truly reciprocated, and they join in on a theme of Sansa going unappreciated for her qualities by the world around her. She is disregarded, mocked, criticized, belittled, humiliated. So much so that a large part of the fandom considers this to be justified and educational for her. She has given up on being loved for herself, but she will not sacrifice her values as a consequence. So someone falling in love with her is to me a very compelling and cathartic validation of Sansa as a person. Of course, this only works if the person falling for Sansa is actually attractive to her and embodies the things we know she has been looking for all this time. But specifically the idea that Sansa falls first fails my personal taste because it contains a sense of lacking reciprocation that we've already seen multiple times in her story. She's been not-loved-in-return a lot already.

I do enjoy the concept of Jon being loved by Sansa, too, because it validated aspects of him he usually keeps close to his chest. Things that touch on his specific mixed sense of identity as a nobly-raised bastard. He has soft sensibilities, a romantic disposition, pedestrian dreams of family and home, and highly idealistic and emotional ideals surrounding leadership that center on duty and honor. But he is generally not appreciated for those specific things. He is appreciated for his brains and his abilities, his bravery, his pragmatism, his loyalty to his friends and duties - but not for the boy who wants to be Lord of Winterfell with a lady wife and babies, who wants to be a hero from the songs, Florian the Fool, Ryam Redwyne. It's a lovely and very specific recognition of a very private part of Jon, to be loved for his secret soft self.

But it's not my primary focus because unlike Sansa, Jon still receives a lot of validation and love in the source material. It's just not the specific kind he wants. So that makes it comparatively less compelling to me.

That doesn't mean that Sansa primarily falling in love with Jon isn't an equally valid thing to enjoy! It's just that I can't make you any good recommendations on this subject specifically because it's not my specific favorite flavor of jonsa.

I wish you good luck though!

[forgotteneilionora]

OOC | Eilionora & Marian

forgottenarias said:  @giadesstrin I was legit contemplating if Marian would like Aria or not but i’m guessing now she does? or at least is cordial enough that she can be like “hey another one of my kids is on death’s door HELP PLEASEEEE” giadesstrin said:  @forgottenarias dgjjfdgh omgggggg I didn’t really think abt that relationship I love that!!!! I’m screaming now too bc like…She’s honestly in such a weird position re: her bc like on one hand her hubby wants to marry her sister???? On another her son is interested in her??? And on yet ANOTHER she’s a professed enemy of her house who helped save her son like??!?!! Poor Marian honestly what a position to be in sgjkfsfhj how is anyone supposed to deal w ALL of that good AND bad shkkgdfh forgottenarias said:  @giadesstrin I need to do an OOC for Marian & Eilia but I def think Marian doesn’t want Roderick to marry her 1) because there doesn’t need to be any other contenders in this heir to the throne race and 2) as much as she still loves him, being married to Roderick is definitely not all it is cracked up to be! Part of marian wants to protect her from him! forgottenarias said:  @giadesstrin and with Aria I think that Marian def wouldn’t like her if there was event the slightest implication of even a potential of some sort of romantic relationship w/ Arthur bc NO ONE is ever going to be good enough for her first born! Sorry ladies! You clearly just want him for his money/power! But Aria being proactive in this above instance and not really wanting anything in return is not a thing she’s used to so she’s not sure WHAT to think rn! Plus she fixed her precious child!!! 

sdfasdf ok so i thought id go ahead and make an ooc for them, and i included the bit abt aria bc i do think that that has the potential to impact eilia/aria things as well!

ok so!! i honestly think that eilia at first thought that it was just really weird that roderick had all these wives and she was like WHY WOULD THEY PUT UP W THAT but uhhhh recently she's been like 'oh. ig maybe they didn't get much of a choice' bc that's certainly been ~her experience re: dating roderick hahaha and eilia def has more agency than they did, being -- though deposed -- a queen so now honestly i think she just feels sooooo horrible for them and is lowkey looking at them -- these two V DIFFERENT yet both v clearly unhappy women -- like 'there but by the grace of the guardians go i' basically laskdjfkdlsf and honestly i think atp she's really come around in the way she looks at them both!! esp marian (bc i def think amira gives off resting bitch face but as a full blown personality disorder even if ur tryna approach her whole deal optimistically alskdjflksjdfajdf)!!!!!

i ~do think if she knows that a lot of the varmont kids have a good relationship w the malconaires that would def be a boost in their favor bc eilia trusts them etc but i ~do think eilia is still feeling far from trusting of the varmonts, themselves, even if she does know that!! just...'at least they're not as horrible as i thought' rather than 'they're good ppl after all' basically hahaha and i do think that, given that its looking more or more like she might be wife #4, eilia has been thinking abt what roderick might look like as a dad since she's now afraid he might be the father of ~her children, and she's like YIKES

so, all in all, she's feeling much more sympathetic towards both marian and her family (minus roderick, STILL decidedly NOT a fan of his)!! and esp w marian on the cusp of this w her sister, i can see where they could maybe start having more ~honest conversations, perhaps? bc i do feel that eilia has played this entire thing by being observant and polite -- stalwart where she needs (ie when it comes to her country and astairans and keeping them safe etc) to be but other than that mostly closed off emotionally and courteous, but basically just tryna give them NOTHING bc she figures they'll use anything at all against her they can

but yeah its been a looooong journey getting there i feel hahahaha and even now she'd def be tentative and clam up at the slightest sign of trouble ngl

[geminiagentgreen]

Finally finished my analysis of the sermon! Picking apart sermons is something I’ve done for fun before but this is my first time doing it on my own, and it was really fun! I wanted to make sure I had the correct impression of what he meant by stuff so I listened to the first part of the series as well, and it only solidified my impressions.

I immediately have red flags with the fact that he puts his full title (Rev. Dr.) in the title and that he feels the need to give us the credentials for the people he quotes, because people can be very solid theologically even without any sort of degree. Where you went to school just doesn’t matter.

Aside from that he starts off with a pretty solid topic, presence and absence. I’ll give some grace and say that he’s probably not trying to imply that God isn’t omnipresent. I also don’t have an issue with starting off referencing a book because that is a good way to do the little introduction period.

He is using teaching from women to teach the entire church, which is a clear violation of scripture already (I can link where I learned about that but it is a LONG study, the summary alone was 11 hours long).

I’m not sure why hearing the voices of women/women of color is important, because leadership should already be hearing from the men and women of the church and listening to them. For example in my church the leadership welcomes us coming up and correcting them if we think they misstepped on something, and have corrected themselves in the past (before that was our home church) because of people bringing up issues.

We should know what I’m looking for in a sermon and a pastor, because that’s important. I’m looking for the answers to

What does the Bible say?

What does the Bible mean?

How do we apply it?

1) Do they tell us what the Bible says? Absolutely not. He COMPLETELY skips over Ruth’s marriage and skips to where Naomi is centered in verse 14. He’s accurate on the facts of Ruth being transferred from the status of slave woman to wife, and that it’s a patriarchal society, and that there is a genealogy.

Congratulations, you did a surface level reading of the text. But he delivers it wrong. He draws attention to the facts of slavery and patriarchy without explaining what that means. Without explaining the fact that she wasn’t treated like scum even with a slave woman status. Without drawing attention to how this “patriarchy” isn’t actually all that bad or the reasons it would be bad (sin. Sin is the reason. Not the fact that men are in charge).

He also completely misses why genealogies are written out the way they are. Do you really think it’s because they think the men are more valuable? More important? They had the text in Genesis telling them that men and women are equals. Not equivalent in functions for society, but one is not more important than the other. Overall he obviously reads the text in a very biased manner.

2) Do they tell us what the Bible means? Not in the slightest, it’s more of a storytime with terrible reading comprehension.

He asks the question “did Ruth actually have agency in this narrative?”and I don’t see why this is important. None of us should care whether or not we have agency because we belong to God. We have free will, great, but it doesn’t matter. Our will is transformed to God’s will, much like Ruth’s was when she said “let your God be my God”and so, in a way, our free will is taken away (it’s a complicated issue that is uncomfortable for many to think about and it sounds bad until you realize just how good God’s will is). So yeah, agency and power don’t really matter.

He calls this a story of hope for those who feel invisible or set aside, story of hope. No idea where this comes from, because when I read Ruth I see an example of how we are to follow Christ in Ruth, an important historical piece because she is in fact in the genealogy of Jesus (we’ll get to that), and a wonderful view of God’s provision. Not…whatever he was trying to squeeze out of it.

He makes the point that Jesus is impossible without Ruth. Correct-ish. God made it happen exactly the way he wanted it to happen.

He also rambles about the genealogy at the end and says “Lots of preachers don’t talk about the genealogies. I talk about them.” How prideful do you have to be to insert what you do better than others in the middle of a SERMON??? A sermon is not for bragging, it’s for uplifting and teaching the church.

He references the narrative of the story a lot, and I think this is a misuse of language. It’s not a narrative, it’s God’s word. This is blatant disregard for the fact that it was written perfectly, inspired by God. This is especially visible when he says “but somehow the message of the Hebrew and the Christian people…” it’s NOT THE MESSAGE OF THE PEOPLE. IT’S GOD’S WORD. FROM GOD’S MOUTH.

“Jesus has a nuanced sense of agency with the ever present possibility of being killed for speaking his truth to power” uh. What? His truth to power? It’s not his truth, it’s just truth. He is God. He’s hardly speaking it to power, the infinite God has no power ruling over him. The only reason he follows their rules is because he was the one who made them. This is an incredibly diminishing view of Christ and comes very close to denying his deity, and if you do that you no longer have even the gospel. Do you really think God can have a “nuanced sense of agency”? I think it played out exactly according to his will with no uncertainty, no possibilities for something else to happen. This is not to say that God controls people like puppets, but God could very easily have made everyone know exactly who Jesus was. But if he did that they wouldn’t kill Jesus and we wouldn’t have the gospel.

3) Do they tell us how to apply it? Nope! I didn’t actually catch where he taught how to apply any of it aside from a couple sentences at the end about “whatever we have done/not done for the least of these we have done for Christ” but that’s shoehorned in with no real explanation of how to do that.

Some additional miscellaneous points, he talks about a patriarchal society as though he’s reading a history book with pity for a people who are backwards and not a society that was, at least for the people in the story of Ruth, acting exactly as GOD directed them to act. There were times when Israel didn’t act as God wanted them to but those places very clearly frame it as bad. At the end there was no transition between the sermon and what seems to be advertising a book and his trip.

My biggest issues boil down to blatant disregard for the authority of scripture, misunderstanding of the character of Christ, and a complete failure to do his job of teaching the church how to correctly read, interpret, and apply scripture in our lives.

Overall score: 1/10, wildly inaccurate and complete garbage with one or two things that were kind of correct

Boy, when I was expecting a review, I did NOT have "totally eviscerated" in mind! 1/10, sweet sassafras!

Seriously, this was a very good read, I had wanted to get to it ASAP but work was not the place to do so but now I'm ready for bed and...whoo!

I don't have anything to defend, frankly I want your training in sermon review. I kinda had a curiosity with regards to what you said about using the teaching from women to teach ths entire church, but I can't really think of what it is I want to even ask, so this is really a moot point.

Thank you for taking the time to do this 🙏

[possibilistfanfiction]

hi i just wanted to say thank you for writing about queerness the way that you do - it’s incredible and has been immensely helpful to me lately. like i’ve agonized over wanting a haircut and a binder and to change my pronouns and have never had the courage to do anything about it, but reading your stuff is making me want to go through with it all. i had to pause a few times as i read your most recent piece (ava’s pov of butch bea) because i was overwhelmed with relief seeing ava and bea want that stuff too. i didn’t realize wanting it could feel so freeing. like i’ve never seen queer people written like that before, and never knew i needed to see it until now. it’s helped me feel okay about wanting the aforementioned things, and also okay about not knowing what i want or how i want to be. all around your fics are so healing and enlightening as far as gender and sexuality go, and gender and sexuality aside they are also flat out masterpieces. i cannot even begin to describe how much they, as well as your other posts on the subject, mean to me. thank you so much

:) thank u!

& i will say that i have spent the better part of the last 15 or so years just vibrating around trying to figure out what makes me feel good, especially in my body & how others perceive it. which is really hard! but trying stuff rocks — i figured out i wanted top surgery but not to transition in other medical ways bc i got a binder! the peace i felt with one felt right, & then i got to explore from there. i have had … so many haircuts lol & most of them have been good! (imo everyone deserves to buzz their hair at least once & just. deal with it lmao. a rite of passage.) now i don’t give a fuck about “what side of the store” clothes are on bc i know exactly what i want clothes to fit & feel like, & i have a tailor, so i just pay more attention to fit & fabric than i do any “men’s” or “women’s” demarcations, especially when most of the places i shop are mostly just vaguely androgynous earth tones anyway lol.

(of course this is with the caveat that there’s enough safety/financial stability but) try everything! especially stuff that’s not at all permanent!

there’s no way i would know what makes me happy & peaceful now if i didn’t try stuff in the past! do i want to wear button downs & chinos & have ppl call me sir?? no i would rather pErish. but did i always know that! of course not, & i got to have the space to try how that would feel. i definitely also know that i never want people to think i’m straight (lol but ppl are stubborn); i had a weird summer bc my hair was rly long, which i loved, but then started to feel just dissonant about… occasionally a little panicked by? (in addition to some transphobic nonsense thru work, which ofc doesn’t help). but once i sat down & was like what the fuck is going on — & felt safe enough to just sit for DAYS in dysphoria to try to figure out the root of it — i was like oh ok cool, easy, i can fix this. i knew i didn’t want to cut my hair rly short again (probably never again or at least for a Long Time, i don’t like ppl thinking i’m a man), but i didn’t wanna keep it long, so i was like ok great, stupid masc bob here we come, & my hairstylist is queer & has a soft butch wife, so i was set lol. but without getting to have space for the past decade to just try things, & to learn how to sit in dysphoria thru therapy rather than just Run Away from the feeling every time, that would’ve been a lot harder to navigate. i used to be VERY adamant abt they/them pronouns but i don’t feel that way anymore, & nothing earth shattering happened or has happened, i just… don’t care. i care more abt my privacy & agency than abt disclosing identity & experience than i do a pronoun, & so i get to make that choice whenever i want, which has been rly wonderful. & getting to try things will help you learn where ur most comfortable, especially as u continue to grow & change.

& like… it’s fun! queerness is so fun! i think beas queerness is fairly ~fraught~ canonically for obvious reasons but in any universe it’s nice to just let her take a fucking breath. kiss a girl, put on a hoodie, cut your hair, take a nap by the beach. it’s not so serious, not all the time. & ava is just FUN, her queerness is so so bright. to me it’s always just seemed like she was never Not queer bc ava has so much life to live & so so much to discover abt herself & the world. she’s falling in love with everything all the time, & with Wonder! & of course that includes queerness! it’s at the center of it bc it’s who you are & who you love, but it’s also just… people, & connection. i used to write rly angsty shit abt being queer & in moments of indulgence i do still enjoy a romp ofc to flex those wow sin & hell & an orgasm being so holy muscles lol, but queerness is my everyday life, & it shows up in the soft happy places more than anywhere else.

anyway, try everything!! especially a binder (bind safely!!!!!) & pronouns, even just online or w a few of ur ppl. if there’s a word you like for your identity, try writing it somewhere or just telling a friend (i texted my best friend that i liked the word ‘dyke’ a lot after having made ‘dyke on main’ jokes abt myself for ten years … we both just laughed). & of course haircuts & clothes are so fun, & they should get to be fun!

but even beyond that (& part of why i think ppl like reading stuff i write, maybe?) is that like so much healing for me in pleasure & peace in my queerness is so tied up in those same feelings abt … everything. food! sex! moving my body! my home! small acts of service! luxury! softness! skincare! the ocean! like whew, waking up & being like this brings me quiet joy, mary oliver was RIGHT, just lets the whole world kinda shimmer. not loudly, not in any remarkable way, but eating good food & having a good beer with someone who sees you for who you are; fresh flowers in the vase; LINEN PANTS; the dog asleep at your feet — all of those things to me are both queer & holy, inextricably together in my life. my wife’s queerness is very compatible w her religion & spirituality, & that’s rly rly beautiful to get to be around. queerness is abt deep care, too, in small ways: checking up on a friend after top surgery, still masking indoors, keeping my dog on lead unless i know her recall will be perfect. it shapes every part of my life. to me the mundane is the most glorious thing, & i have figured things that i love bc, for as scary as trying stuff can be (what if people see me? what if i hate it?) — you know, the most important question: what if you love it?

[lesser-mook]

Bella Poarch - Build A Bitch (Lyrics)

https://youtu.be/UyjleBCXlbg?si=ikk1VqAlIlpPutYZ

I like this song, & the message,

This ain't Build-A-Bitch (A bitch)

You don't get to pick and choose Different ass and bigger boobs If my eyes are brown or blue This ain't Build-A-Bitch (A bitch) I'm filled with flaws and attitude So if you need perfect, I'm not built for you (Yeah)

 yet between men and women only men are expected to DIE for the other.

Not that she can’t, & some women do actually, but she’s not expected to. The pressure isn’t on her.

So i’m pretty sure that warrants men being picky or being able to “choose” what they want in women, cause at the end of the day its just his LIFE right?🤨 Who the fuck is he to pick & choose what he wants in you when in the same breath you’d like to feel you’re worth living/ & dying for.

Can’t have it both ways sis.

It's not even about perfection, it's compromise, something women expect men to do all the time when it's convenient for her.

Doesn’t mean you have to change, doesn’t mean what he thinks he wants- he’ll get (& vice versa), but yeah he can pick and choose. 

Women have the luxury to forget that a man stakes his life when he gets involved with a lady, some guys die for women they don’t even know. It’s soooo easy to forget that when you’re not a man, not the protector, and that burden isn’t on you.

You’re not incriminated if you overlook it, but just keep in mind how easy it is to OVERLOOK it while you’re holding that grocery list of all the things you might feel you’re entitled to of a man because “he’s the man”.

Cause when a shooting happens, a building comes down, or something pops off, and your mortality sinks in real fucking quick — and it’s not you who’s expected to take bullets if necessary.

You naturally expect the male to “step up” and do the thing. Rightfully so, but don’t then take agency from his preferences because that’s more convenient for you, when things are peaceful and society tells you you’re the center of universe.

Even the BIBLE mandates a man sacrifices his life for the wife. (Not a girlfriend, his wife, his honor. A wife is ENTITLED to his life, & vice versa)

SO with all of that said, between men and women, a woman gets to pick & choose because she’s going to be bearing the children (that’s how she gives her body & for some that involves fatality), and he especially gets that privilege because he’s expected to 100% die for her & the kids, AND PAY for it all if he doesn’t.

Doesn’t get any more serious than the bastards LIFE. Yes he does get to pick & choose. Especially the husband.

Does that mean change yourself? Well that’s a personal decision if you feel they’re worth it, because even then: How many women go through life thinking men should change for them; if he “really loves her-”, he should, right? Or she can “fix” him.

But not the other way around right?

I’m noticing this attitude that a man changing for a woman is romantic, but a woman not changing for him is empowering, that shit’s not it bro.

That’s how you fuck up with the little things, plant seeds of hubris, ego and entitlement that will burn a lot of bridges that could’ve led straight to your happiness.. and music is one of many forms of propaganda that deludes you into thinking (He for She, but not Me for He) = one way street, you CAN not do that and expect success

And it all starts with double standards.

I like the message, but at the same time, be careful. Don’t overlook the simple things: 

men are too used to being told they shouldn’t have standards or a choice when it comes to women, it’s bullshit. If we’re the sacrificial workhorse, bodyguard, progenitor, provider — You are GODDAMN RIGHT we get a fucking choice. 

Don’t take fellas for granted, it benefits you now while you’re young & nobody is going to challenge you, but it’s gonna bite you in the ass.

And by that, that doesn’t mean you’ll end up alone. But don’t think just because you’re not (by yourself) for the rest of your life: Automatically means you’ll be happy, it doesn’t. Hopefully you don’t find that out the hard way.Be vigilant, have standards (cause this ain’t Build-A-Bitch or CREATE-A-Sim, you’re not here to be molded by some boy’s/girl’s whims, make sure they’re worth it to begin with), but (for the love of god) be humble.

Society sets you up for failure making you believe your choice, and what women want is the only thing that’s relevant in a situation that involves TWO people, that’s bullshit, and a dangerous attitude to have.

Otherwise, the beat is funky tho, it reminds me of Selena Gomez’ songs around the 2010′s, i miss that era, i miss that Youtube.

[tomurasprincess]

Request for the yandere post😍 such a perfect idea. I dont know if these are taken but can your do quote 49, word 10 for Hitoshi Shinso. If you're not comfortable with writing for his character can it be dabi?

Pairing: Dabi x Reader, reader dating Shouto Quote: I wonder what your partner would do if they knew what you were doing right now. Word: Breeding Warnings: Noncon, cheating, blackmail, forced breeding, yandere Note: I am okay with writing Shinsou, but I had a really good idea for Dabi. Hope you don’t mind!

Prompt Masterlist

“Dabi, this is done. We can’t keep doing this anymore.” The villain sits there looking at you with a bored look, as if waiting for you to change your mind on the stupid mistake you’re about to make.

‘This will never be done, doll,” he drawls as he pulls you into straddling his lap. “You’re mine. The man you call your husband just doesn’t fucking know it yet.”

You flinch at the mention of your husband, Shouto Todoroki. The two of you met while you worked at the same hero agency and had hit it off pretty quickly. But reality had set in after you were married. He was never home, working long hours as a hero. This normally wouldn’t be a problem for you, when you were still working as a hero as well. But then you got injured on the job, and had nothing to do beyond sit at home, lonely and bored.

So you began to go to bars occasionally, having a few drinks and chatting with men and women. You never went home with any of them, but you had a good time laughing and flirting with them. They gave you attention you were not getting at home, made you feel special. It all seemed so harmless.

At least until you met Dabi.

He was dark and mysterious, with a sarcastic sense of humor and a bad boy air that you were always susceptible to. You went home with him that same night, and the two of you fucked nonstop for hours. Since then, you have tried every position you knew and some you didn’t, every room of the house, multiple kinks you never even knew you had. You tried it all with him, spending long hours away from your husband.

And Shouto never even noticed.

He was too busy with his life as a hero. You couldn’t even remember the last time you had sex with him. At least Dabi was there, made you feel wanted and attractive. But something had finally changed. Last week, Shouto had come to you, terrified that he was losing you. He apologized for neglecting you, had vowed things would be better. And that night, you had sex for the first time in as long as you could remember. It finally rekindled the spark you had for him. You wanted things to end so you could focus on Shouto again, try to forget your mistakes and move on.

But the man in front of you wasn’t about to allow that. “Well? Do you have anything to say to that, doll?”

You took a deep breath and continued. “Yes, I do. You don’t own me Dabi, you never have. I love Shouto.”

He grabs your hips as he grinds you against his hardening erection, smirking as you let out an unintentional gasp. “Did you love Shouto when I was balls deep in that slutty cunt just a few nights ago?”

Your face turns hot and you look away, not able to meet his eyes out of shame. “He wants to work things out, Dabi. I have to try.”

“How about this, then?” He grabs your waist and effortlessly flips you over, bending you over the arm of the couch as he humps against your ass. “If you’re going back to him, then give me one more time.”

You hesitated just long enough for him to burn your pants off of you, barely missing scorching your skin. “Dabi, what the fuck, you almost burned - “ You let out a gasp as a scalding hot hand smacks against your ass. And then the hand comes down on the other cheek, alternating between them until you’re burying your face into the pillow as tears run down your face.

He stops suddenly, ripping your panties off as he runs his fingers down your folds and snorting to himself as he holds them in front of your face.

“Fucking soaked, princess. Does your husband get this cunt of yours so wet?”

Your hesitance gives you away, and he snorts again before impaling you with one sharp thrust of your hips. You let out a choked gasp as he begins to thrust, forcing you up on hands and knees and gripping your hips with blunt nails.

You know you’re going to have bruises tomorrow, and you almost want to protest that your husband might see them. But you know that will only spur him on, and a small part of you has to admit that you love it.

You’ve always loved how rough and dominant Dabi is. The wet sounds of skin slapping against skin fills the room, his balls hitting your clit with every thrust has your head spinning. “Fuck, Dabi, please,” you whine as you beg for him to get you off. “Please let me cum.”

“If you want to cum, then admit it. Admit that I fuck this cunt so much better than that bastard Shouto,” he growls into your ear as he begins to bottom out inside of you with every snap of his hips. He’s so rough that your pussy already feels sore, breasts bouncing with every thrust he makes inside of your sopping hole.

“Nghhh, I don’t - don’t make me say it,” you whine as you push yourself back into his thrusts, hoping to surprise him into letting you cum without permission. “Just let me cum, I want to cum.”

He abruptly pulls out, turning you to face him before forcing you down into a mating press. He plunges back inside of you with a snarl, gripping your hips again with fingers that dig into your skin. “I’ll let you cum when you fucking say it.”

You feel your pussy clench around him, right there on the edge of a massive orgasm and the pressure building up inside so tight that it feels like it’s going to snap. “You fuck me better than he does, alright,” you practically yell, frustration finally leaking out.

You hear Dabi chuckle, a dark and malicious sound that makes the hair on your arms stand up. “So you admit that I fuck you better than my little brother. Good to fucking know, princess.” He reaches down to rub tight circles around your clit, and you barely have enough time to register his words before your cunt is fluttering wildly around his cock.

“Brother, what the hell do you mean, brother,” you’re barely able to gasp the question out, still panting and coming down from your high. Dabi doesn’t answer, increasing his pace as you feel his cock pulse inside of you.

“No, fuck, Dabi,’ you beg the villain for mercy, “please not inside.” He smirks as his pace stutters, cock pressing against your unprotected cervix as you feel hot, thick ropes of cum filling you up.

“I wonder what Shouto would do if he knew what you were doing right now,” Dabi mocks, “his wife pinned down with his big brother’s cum filling up her slutty little cunt.”

“Touya,” you breathe out the word. “You’re Touya, aren’t you? How long -” you pause for a second, not wanting to hear the truth but knowing that you have to. “How long have you known?”

“Since the moment I met you, princess, I knew you were Shouto’s. And I knew I wanted you instead.”

“What am I going to do,” you whimper, hot tears sliding down your cheeks. “I didn’t know. What if he finds out? And you - you came inside.”

“He never has to know if you do what I say.” He leans down to give you a deep kiss. “And think about it like this, princess. If I knocked you up, it’s no big deal.”

“After all, we’re brothers. He’ll never be able to tell the difference.”

[midnight-in-town]

Why Jane is a demon

Back to Mey & Ran’s investigation we go: since I have some time, I want to do a recap post on why I think Jane is a demon and is also possibly John Brown, Victoria’s aide. 

This sums up different posts that I previously wrote on Jane and on John being supernatural [x][x] and also possibly the main attacker behind the massacre at the Phantomhive manor, 4 years ago. 

Premise

First of all, to replace the context: Heathfield was “looking to replace his wife” who died in a carriage accident along with their daughter. 

Whether or not we think this was just a big lie, so that he could appeal to young women with a lower social standing in order to have intercourse with them (while UT maybe promised to eventually revive his wife or something), it’s clear that Abby and at least another servant used to be a part of the Aurora Society and were the ones driving this whole blood collect operation.

Meanwhile Jane was hired as a security guard...

 ...which means that she’s unrelated to the Aurora society. 

Notion of a job contract between Heathfield’s household and Jane

That’s the simplest clue: many readers noticed the way Jane talked whenever she referred to her job in the manor:

&

At some point, she also said that she would never do more on a job than what was directly asked of her (it was mistranslated in English so I won’t add the panel) and this all sounds very typical of demons speaking about their contract.

In other words, Jane stuck to her contract like glue, up until the operation was dismantled by Ciel’s allies. We’ll get back later to why a demon would give up when she could have easily defeated at least Mey. 

Jane’s behavior towards Baron Heathfield

Also something many readers noticed, as in, Jane lacked a lot of deference towards “her master”. 

This could be explained by the fact that she, as a demon, has no respect for him as a human (remember, Seb sees humans as grasshoppers & their soul as food). Besides, it’s very hard to be the master of a demon: our!Ciel does a rather good job, considering the wild and mocking beast that is Seb. 

So it’s not hard to think that Heathfield didn’t have it in him to correct & control Jane’s behavior towards him (if he even cared to do so in the first place).  

Parallels to S1 of the anime

As much as I kinda dislike admitting it (since I’m no fan of the anime), this arc was rather reminiscent of the one with Angela Blanc and Henry Barrymore. As we know, Angela eventually turned out to be a fallen angel and also Ash Landers, the Queen’s aide. 

So, while I’m really not sure angels are meant to appear in the manga, Jane being supernatural and having a “male counterpart” (named John) that we already met would be in tune as a parallel. Which leads me to the second part of the post.

Jane = John? 

As I linked to above, it is my belief that John Brown was hinted to be supernatural and even possibly a demon (instead of, like, a Shinigami or Angel). 

So, if John is indeed a demon, then it is likely to think that his master and holder of the contract is Queen Victoria and, in that case, one can wonder what was the point of “Jane” entering a contract with Baron Heathfield. 

Too many demons can spoil the soup

Unlike Shinigamis who are introduced in almost every arc (we get it, Yana), I’m personally against the possibility that Jane could be a third demon (assuming John is indeed one), because that’d mean introducing a pretty powerful character with literally no agency after Mey & Ran’s investigation, when we are far into the story and the plot is complex enough as it is. 

Yeah, storytelling-wise, it doesn’t sound like a good idea.

Besides, if Jane is a demon who only was in a contract with Heathfield, then...

...one can wonder what he even paid to have her summoned. That’s why this explanation makes not much sense, I find, considering the household seemed to have no idea at all about Jane being possibly supernatural.

Whereas if we’re considering that Jane already was in a contract with someone else, then it gives her a lot of agency + it means that meeting Heathfield and entering a very secondary contract with him would not have needed fare for the crossing (making the process even more simple). 

Why the presence of a demon at Heathfield’s manor

If we’re considering that John = Jane, then Jane would have been gathering intel on the blue sect’s operations for her real master: Queen Victoria. 

After all, remember that discussion between Victoria and Brown at the end of the Weston arc? 

Victoria clearly was interested in UT’s bizarre dolls (because she wants Albert back? Because they’re great war weapons?), so if she’s slightly aware of what’s been going on since ch140 and the real!Ciel’s return, then it’d make sense that she’d send her precious aide to gather info for her. 

And what Jane discovered is that the Bizarre Dolls need blood (amongst edited records and episodes) to function properly and long enough. 

As for that possible secondary contract that she made with Heathfield: we don’t know what it was about (maybe getting to eat the dead maids’ soul?), but it doesn’t nullify the contract with Victoria, seeing as Seb confirmed multiple contracts are possible.

Why Jane didn’t try to fight for long against Mey and Ran

If she’s a demon, then she theoretically had the strength to escape Mey’s gun and win, but there is a main explanation as to why she gave up: she didn’t want to be found out as a supernatural being. 

After all she was facing Ran & Mey and:

Ran showed that she was indeed strong as hell, which makes it interesting to ponder if she’s also a supernatural being or a strength-enhanced human (like Finny)

Mey is Ciel’s staff (and if Jane = John, it’s possible Jane would have known about that fact), so Jane proving to Mey that she was more than human would mean Ciel & Seb would get to hear about it and I’m pretty sure Jane/John wouldn’t want that. 

Another additional possibility is that Jane had gathered enough info, as her original mission requested, and she had no reason to stay longer (except maybe to eat some more souls, as per her contract with Heathfield, who knows). 

Ending word: what about the other investigations?

There is a lot at stake here and, as we know, UT definitely needs stopping. 

So it’s interesting to think that we possibly saw the Queen’s side gathering info on the situation through Jane, while Ronald (definitely representing the Shinigamis’ Organization) just made his appearance during Bard & Lau’s investigation. 

While Ronald’s arrival is definitely bad news (because it means people are going to die and for all we know Bard might be one of them), it makes one wonder who we’ll meet next if we get to read about Finny & Snake and Ciel & Seb: finally one of the remaining star lords? another government’s spy (France? Since UT went there some time ago)?

We’ll see!

Anyway, sorry for the long post, I hope it managed to convey my thoughts a little more clearly than my old posts. Don’t hesitate if you guys have any question! 

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Hiya 👋 I find it fascinating when people point out stuff about main characters that are brushed over and was I was wondering what’s your top reasons you dislike Alina and what scenes made you dislike her / made no sense.

Well I don't dislike Alina in the show but in the books I do think she is badly written. But here are some things that made the book character less appealing to me than the show.

I think the main one is her complete lack of agency. She very rarely makes any decisions for herself and just seems to go along with what everyone else (mostly male characters) say. There is a problem and instead of Alina being the one to make a decision or think of a solution she is told this is what we are going to do by either, M*l, Nikolai or the apparat. She is pushed around the plot by others actions instead of taking control herself and so often appears more as a puppet than as a commander or influential person in herself. For example in the show Alina is the one who tells M*l that they should seek the stag and kill it for it's amplification powers before the darkling does. Yet in the books this decision isn't hers but M*l's and Alina just goes along with it. There are also several instances where she clearly doesn't agree with the course of action or doesn't want to do something and yet she does it anyway, an example of this is when Nikolai and M*l want to attack the Volcra nest in the fold. She clearly has qualms about it but ends up folding to their will, another example is M*l insisting that once the fold and the darkling are destroyed that they seek a way to remove the amplifier, again this is something Alina doesn't want to do but she agrees with M*l and doesn't tell him her true desire. So what we end up with is a female protagonist who very much seems to be a pawn to the male characters in the book.

Another thing I disliked about the character's storyline is that she was often the victim of men, held captive and used to their advantage and this included one the supposed heroes. The darkling takes her captive twice wanting to use the amplifiers and control her to meet his own goals, Nikolai also at one point takes her captive and only really gives her freedom back to her because she agrees to help him, and the apparat takes her captive so that he can use her to gain religious power over the masses. She also never gets herself out of these situations, she just accepts her situation and waits to be rescued, for others to save her so that they too can use her for their own gain. I find this theme of her either being a victim of men or the pawn of one really worrying.

Another issue with the way she is written which again ties into the two above is that she is made far too dependant on M*l. Not only does she make herself very ill by suppressing her powers to stay with M*l but when her powers are revealed her refusal to let go of her attachment to M*l means that she struggles to master her powers, she becomes physically unable to summon because her refusal to let M*l go. Later in book two and three she spends a lot of time pining after him and getting in arguments about their positions of power. M*l feels useless and resents Alina's new position and power, he wants things to go back to how they were. He really does hold her back in many ways and this really should have been a love that they both grew out of but instead despite it being made obvious that they don't really fit together they both refuse to let the other go which means one or the other has to make sacrifices in order for them to be together. Not only that but Alina often puts M*l's needs, wants and safety above the greater good, rather than save the grisha or other vulnerable people she will safe M*l even going so far as to let 30-40 innocent people die in the fold so that she can save his life. This co-dependant relationship that she has with M*l is very unhealthy and toxic which would be ok if this was recognised within the narrative and then steps were taken to fix it, but instead this relationship is presented as some grand love story despite how damaging it truly is to Alina. In the Tv adaption they show us that Alina can be very happy and actually thrive without M*l in ep 5, its the happiest we ever see her and the most confident, yet she never gets this opportunity in the books.

Alina is also very insecure and jealous and we often see her pitted against other females, in particular Zoya. If there is one thing I really am not a fan of its authors pitting women against women particularly when it is over a man. Throughout all of the books Alina is insecure that Zoya is more beautiful than her and is insecure about her own looks, particularly when is comes to M*l, she is often jealous believing M*l will be turned by other pretty girls instead of him staying loyal to her. She often worries that she won't be good enough as the Sun Summoner and that the people will come to hate her. Again all of this would have been fine if it were limited to just the beginning of her story arc and it was something she overcame, but she never really does. She often comes across as being quite sulky as well. There was this one quote that I kept seeing in the tag that Alina says which is 'I am the Sun Summoner. It gets dark when I say it does.' Obviously before reading the books I kept wondering the circumstances of her saying this. It is a bit of a badass quote so naturally I was imaging all kinds of grand, dramatic scenarios, her shouting it across the battlefield to the darkling, her saying it in a war meeting as they are making plans as a way of instilling hope and confidence in her troops. So you can imagine my disappointment when it is actually said whilst she is lying outside on the ground, sad and feeling sorry for herself. When presented with a problem or a wrench in a plan she doesn't rally her team and try to come up with a solution instead she just sulks which as a reader I found very frustrating. The thing is both Alina and M*l are written as rather realistic teenagers, but the problem is this doesn't fit the world they are living in. They live in a world based off imperial russia and yet the characters do not behave as if they are, instead they act like they are modern day teenagers attending high school with petty jealousy and childhood crushes.

There is also her identity as a grisha and relationship with the grisha. One of the more interesting aspects of the grisha trilogy is the grisha's story, their oppression and their fight to be recognised as human beings and equals. Yet Alina shows very little care for the Grisha. In fact to me it seems like the author just made Alina grisha to serve the plot. Alina is grisha because the narrative needs her to be, they need her to be powerful enough to defeat the villainous darkling and destroy the fold. Instead of striving to improve things for the Grisha Alina supports the monarchy that has spent centuries oppressing them. The moment LB no longer needs Alina to be grisha she is stripped of the identity and the grisha are left in their misery in a world that still hunts, kills and enslaves them.

Alina is also often punished in the narrative by other characters but also by herself. She is often shamed for the attraction she felt towards the darkling and is called things like stupid girl. Not only is she blamed for falling for the darkling's manipulation she is also told she is greedy and power hungry for seeking out the amplifiers and political power. It's a very twisted message that is sent because we are told she is seeking the amplifiers to stop the villain which is a heroic cause and yet we are also told that she is doing out of greed. There seems to be this message that women should not seek power or a change in their position because that means they are greedy and evil.

Then after three books of the protagonist being used as a chess piece by the men in the story she gets one of the worst endings a heroine could. Both Nikolai and M*l get what they want in the end but its at a cost to Alina, Nikolai gets the Ravkan throne and M*l gets the quiet farm life with Alina as his wife. But Alina loses her powers and the position of power she got with them. The two things she explicitly asks for and tells us she desires, her position as general of the second army and her powers/amplifiers. In fact she even tells us in the second book that given a choice she would not give up her powers not even for M*l. Yet that is what happens and worse than that the narrative tells us that she was wrong and greedy for seeking power and influence, they present this ending she gets as a happy one because she gets to spend her life with M*l living a nice normal life. As a reader I found this difficult to except because the character had told us on many occasions that it was not what she wanted, we are shown often how miserable she is without her powers and yet we are expected to believe that this was some wonderful fairytale ending for her when it seems like whilst the men got their happy ever afters it was at the expense of Alina.

There is probably more but before this turns into a full on rant I think it best to leave it here.

[thelovelyghostwriter]

Some of my favourite female characters in fiction

This list is not exhaustive and while I do have other characters that I find charming and that I love, I have noted these characters because in my opinion, they have struggled and/or there is a certain analysis to their personalities. 

Please take note that some of the characters are not morally good or have done questionable actions. This is not to discuss or say they are role models, but rather to write up what they represented, their role in the story or simply their personalities. I’m not here to justify the character’s actions.

Remember that a well-written characters do not have to be morally good. 

Also, a lot of them are from memory and the analysis aren’t well-structured. 

Let’s dive in:

1. Daisy Buchanan from The Great Gatsby

Daisy, in my opinion, is incredibly misunderstood and unjustifiably hated among the readers. Her betrayal to Gatsby is indeed vile and it did upset me, I definitely think that she is materialistic, shallow and hurtful.  

“I hope she’ll be a fool—that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.”

Daisy did shit on Gatsby [trying to avoid spoilers here].  

However, I do like to note that I think part of her materialism and shallowness is because of how women were in the 1920s. They did not have any freedom or agency. To Tom, she seems to be a trophy wife for him to keep; and to Gatsby, he only liked the idea of her, he wasn’t in love with her. To everyone around her, she was an item, a beautiful doll to be possessed, rather than a person. I think that’s why she turned out like that. 

She's materialistic because men around her sees her as an object. Nonetheless, Daisy is still “careless” and hurtful; and I think this stemmed from the life she had led that were a compilation of choices that were made for her. Her betrayal towards Gatsby is what makes her character rather disappointing to most readers. The whiteness in her dress as described in her first appearance? It’s not innocence, but rather a void and jadedness. 

2. Neon Nostrade from Hunter x Hunter

Yet, another girl in our list that loves to be hated by the fandom. Though honestly, most of her haters are Chrollo and Kurapika stans who gets jealous because Chrollo got to hang out with her and Kurapika works under her. Also her repulsive hobby - although this is actually what makes me like her. 

I have addressed this in my other posts before, but let me just copy and paste them (and modify a bit):  Her upbringing and exploitation by her dad makes her materialistic and emotionally detached. This materialism and detachment is manifested in the form of her hobby as a dead body parts collector. But other than that, she’s really a normal girl, just sheltered and spoilt. The money she spends are even from her talent Lovely Ghostwriter, her father will be nothing without her. So I don’t see an issue with her spending them on shopping etc. 

In fact, I would argue that she bathes in materialism to fill the emptiness that she has. Her father is more concerned with her ability and power, she has no friends and is guarded 24/7 by employees.

All the times she threw tantrums and the way she talks… it’s a different speech pattern altogether when she interacts with Chrollo - which may suggest that the whole spoilt attitude is exaggerated to gain attention from a father who is indulgent in terms of material gifts, but not in terms of affection and time for her.

When Eliza cried, she was willing to forgo bidding the auction physically. Yes she did not care about the bodyguards because she is more focused on the living and the present (Eliza) than the dead.

The reason why she didn’t seem fazed when Dalzollene and the others died is because a) they were her bodyguards, it’s their job to put their life on the line to protect her, b) she mentioned to Chrollo that her fortune-telling is for the living, she likes to live in the present and doesn’t believe in the afterlife.

Neon is more focused on who is alive, rather than the dead (which also represented by her hobby of dead body parts collecting). She focuses on the present, unlike her clients who likes to know their future or people who dwell in the past. Kurapika on the other hand, is the complete opposite. He dwells on the past and likes to focus on his dead clan rather than the present times with his friends (which is completely understandable).

Another significance is that her fortune-telling ability is very useful and helpful, she says that she wanted to make people happy with it; but however, it is commercialized and used as a means of power (knowledge of the future = power) by her father and pretty much everyone around her. Just like how she objectifies dead people by collecting their parts, the people around her sees her as a tool due to her fortune-telling abilities, rather than see her as a person. Even Kurapika chose to get employed under her, for his own agenda (he is bound to meet dead body parts collectors at some point). 

She treats people like objects because people see her as one.

Of course, collecting dead body parts is a pretty fucked hobby; but what she represents and her role as a minor character is what makes her an outstanding minor female character in the show. 

Yes. She has traits that are not your typical role model, but neither are other hxh characters. She’s not independent, naive, can’t fight, in need of saving, uncaring at times and spoilt. She is far from so-called “strong female character” that we often look up to. She is a character with bad traits which is a result of being a victim. But that’s what makes me love her as a character in hxh. It reminds us that there are girls out there who has lack of freedom and control over their own fate; and their only way out is through materialism and detaching themselves from people. 

In fact, she might be even relateable to some people more than other female characters because there is vulnerability in her character.

3. Hua Mulan (Mostly the Chinese 2009 film, though the most well-known is the Disney 1998 animated film)

There has been various adaptations for this character, with the Disney Animated version being the most prominent.

However, my favourite one is definitely the Chinese film Hua Mulan: Rise of A Warrior (2009). It portrays the horrors of war and the suffering it brings, nationalism, camaraderie among the army - all while giving us the admirable Mulan climbing up to the ranks of being a war general.

I highly recommend this adaptation. I know the Disney Live Action 2020 version did not receive good reception, and we honestly did not need one because this 2009 Chinese film does the job well (I like their soundtrack though). It's not really well-known because it's a Chinese film (which is hella ironic because Hua Mulan is a Chinese character? Lmao).

"Today we will stain the battlefield with our blood. Behind us is our homeland. If we have to bleed out our last drop of blood, if we have to become bleached bones in this desert, we must defend it to the death! We must let the Rourans know we Wei warriors will never surrender and will never compromise! Soldiers may rebel against me, generals may leave me for dead, but I, Hua Mulan, will never betray my country!"

Generally, I either have an issue with strong female characters because they are just shallow (meaning they are only physically strong, often viewing rudeness, misandry and independence as strength). I like female characters who are so much more to that.

Mulan, in this film, not only showed her badassery in fighting the war for more than a decade, but we also see how much she struggled. Everytime her comrades die, her heart gets broken. Yet she has to learn how to pick herself up and become the leader that they need. She dislikes war, she dislikes the bloodshed; yet she fights for her country.

To me, a strong female character is not just a feminist icon or someone who can fight. In fact, a female character doesn't need to be someone capable of fighting, what makes her strong is to be able to overcome turbulence with determination.

I think this is something that is lacking in recent "strong female characters" - showing us their strength through perseverance.

As for the Disney's counterpart (talking about the 1998 film here), it is less morbid but we also see her trying her best to make her family proud and protect her country. Like the song Reflection and Loyal, Brave and True, she struggles with finding her purpose and her role in her family.

"The greatest gift of honour, is having you for a daughter."

4. Blanche Dubois from A Streetcar Named Desire

It's been years since I had analysed Blanche, but among all the 6 books that I had to study for English Literature, A Streetcar Named Desire has been my absolute favourite.

I think what struck me in this book is not just the style, but Blanche's vulnerability. Her actions are definitely not morally good: she misrepresents things, she lies, she even had sex with an underage student. She's paranoid, mentally unstable and prissy. Which was why, her polar opposite character, Stanley, is so annoyed with her.

After her husband's suicide, we see Blanche relying on the company of men to fill the void of her loneliness and misery. She is also concerned about her beauty fading with age - I find that highly reliable. It sounds incredibly "vain", but beauty does play a part.

Based on Evolutionary and Mating Theories among humans, appearance in women are especially important (also for men but not as much as women). Of course, there are other factors and traits that people find attractive, but Blanche's concern is valid here. She needs to find a husband to escape from her financial troubles; and her age, beauty and chastity plays a huge factor in her search for getting a man in the setting she was in (which was Mitch in this case). Ironically, these are the very traits that she has "lost" and so desperately tries to hide it.

Her ending is truly a devastating and upsetting one. [Will not talk about it due to spoilers]

"I've always depended on the kindness of strangers."

5. Haibara Ai/Shiho Miyano from Detective Conan

Perhaps one of the girls that is a wasted potential. In a series where the characters are mostly flat, she's arguably the most multi-faceted (but somehow I had heard that she no longer has the same complexity as she used to have - it's been a while since I followed this series).

But I remember absolutely loving this character.

Her background story is really unique in the show and one that is embedded within the Black Organisation plotline (why her character was dropped... Forever frustrating for me).

From the moment she was first introduced, we see Conan taking an immediate distrust towards her. A guy who is a detective who had been catching criminals - yet one ex-syndicate member stands before him. The one that actually helped to develop the APTX4869 that changed his life.

Yet, we see that it wasn't entirely within her control. Both her parents were syndicate members and when her sister tries to get both of them to leave, her sister dies.

Ai starts off as seemingly cold, pessimistic and avoidant. But as her arc goes on, the iceberg around her melts. We see her quirky sarcastic replies, her taste for fashion and she genuinely desires to be happy. Her relationship with Conan developed into a beautiful one - to the point where Conan trusts her with anything and they would risk their lives for one another.

Yet, we also empathies with her impending jealousy and heartache. The boy she has fallen for already has someone else. What's more, the girl is genuinely kind and is a splitting image of her sister. After Ran saved her from Vermouth, she quickly warms up to Ran as well.

She's also the key to developing the antidote for Shinichi to be back with Ran - an almost painful metaphor for her to give him away (he never belonged to her in the first place). Yet, she doesn't really stop them from being together (even though in some cases she appears jealous or phrase ShinRan's reunion as a word of caution).

I definitely think she is the most compelling character in Detective Conan because of her character development and the struggles she faces. It's definitely upsetting that her character has been neglected.

“Don’t judge people from the outside. Like any rose has thorns, the more the person appears nice on the outside, the more you should doubt the inside.”

6. Misato Katsuragi from Neon Genesis Evangelion

Who is the best female character in Eva? Asuka or Rei? My answer will always be Misato, Risato is a close second (I wanted to analyse Risato, but I’m trying to keep it to one person per series). Misato is one of the 90s anime babes. She definitely captivated many people’s heart. 

I must say though, I have a soft spot towards female characters who has some sort of daddy issues (why I like Neon Nostrade). It’s been a while since I had watched Eva, but I’m going to try to remember why I like her. 

I think the concept of Hedgehog’s Dilemma has been echoed throughout the series, and all the characters seem to struggle with emotional attachment towards people. I actually like to phrase the Hedgehog Dilemma as “Avoidant-Fearful Attachment Style” - wanting connection with people, yet not being able to do so out of fear of being hurt. 

For Misato, when I initially first watched Eva, I compared her a little to Blanche Dubois in how they cope with loneliness - their sexuality. I remember being confused with her interactions with Shinji, who was half her age. At times, she serves as his guardian/mother figure; but at some moments (I think it was sometimes after Kaji’s death), she tried to seek comfort with Shinji by attempting to initiate sex (which Shinji rejects). I remember coming across a comment somewhere that Shinji and Misato’s relationship is somewhat like Humbert and Dolores (from Lolita) - can’t comment on this as I only read the first chapter of the book. 

It makes me think that she uses sex as a way to cope and the only way she can connect with people (and it’s superficial), which doesn’t work for Shinji because she needs to be her guardian (and ultimately fails to be purely his guardian once she crossed that no-no boundary). 

Another thing to note was her backstory about her dad. There seems to be a dissonance, given that she resented her dad for not spending time with her due to his work, but he ended up sacrificing her life for her. I do think it’s a bit of guilt (because resenting her dad but he saves her - these two contradicts one another). It’s clear that her issues to connect stems from her backstory regarding her father. 

It’s interesting how she compares Kaji to her father. I do think she loves Kaji, but “reminds him too much of her father” (as to put it simply). There is this... stereotype that we find someone similar to our opposite-gender parents, no matter how shitty they were towards us. I believe that it is because we tend to stick to something that is familiar to us, even if those type of people aren’t good for us (I think to break this cycle is to practise self-awareness and know what is good for us). 

Anyway, Misato is a character that I really liked (as all the characters in Eva) because they highlight Hedgehog’s Dilemma that stemmed from their parental issues. Maybe I have not watched a lot of anime, but female characters with issues with their fathers are not as explored deeply as male characters and their parental issues. A lot of times, female characters (especially in shounen) serves as a romantic interest and yes they can have really sad backstory, but not issues towards their father and how it affects their relationship with other people. So far, the only ones I had seen is Mukuro (Yu Yu Hakusho), Misato and Neon Nostrade. 

7. Disney's Cinderella

First of all, she has been a victim of abuse since she was a child. It's not easy for her to escape her predicament. Where can she go? It's not that easy.

Boy. I hate how much people remember Cinderella wrongly and attack her for being "backwards", which is actually factually wrong.

Cinderella always get flack for using the Prince to "escape" her predicament when "she can do it herself".

I say that's bullshit. I actually came across a youtube video: Cinderella Stop Blaming the Victim [please check it out for more in-depth analysis]

Despite all that, she's doesn't internalize it. She knows she doesn't deserve to be treated this way, and she does to a certain degree stand up to them (whenever the cat makes her tasks harder). She knows when to fight back and restrain herself because it might endanger her life.

After years of suffering in this domestic household, she remains kind, compassionate and hopeful. Which is not an easy feat. The problem is, these traits are often seen as feminine and synonymous with being weak. But it is actually, in fact, signs of strength. The mental fortitude she has to remain kind after all she went through is a sign of strength.

The Fairy Godmother only appeared when she was losing hope - take note that she ends up crying because her stepsisters tore her mother’s dress (which is the most disturbing scene in the film). 

Even I had remembered this wrongly - one crucial fact is that... She did not want to go the ball to nab the Prince. That was her stepsisters. Homegirl just wanted to chill. She did not even know she was dancing with the Prince!

When Lady Tremaine locked her up to prevent her from reaching the Prince, it wasn’t the Prince that saved her. She and her animal friends got her out of the room, and proceeded to prove that she was indeed the maiden that had danced with the Prince. Her marrying the Prince was only a fitting end to her because it provides her a home and an escape from an abusive household; however, it was her resilience for holding onto fate and being mentally strong, and her initiatives partially contributed to her happy end. The Prince is more like a passive character. 

I highly think that people tend to brush her traits - e.g. compassion, having fate, being kind is listed as feminine. However, it is far from being weak, which most people would deem it as. But that is definitely not true. 

“No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish can come true.”

8. Mikasa Ackerman from Attack on Titan

Mikasa is either a hit or miss among AOT fans. Some people like Mikasa because she is physically strong and her loyalty to Eren is admirable. On the other hand, some people think she’s clingy and her being physically strong makes her a Mary Sue. 

Whether or not you like Mikasa, there is a fact that she is not a Mary Sue. The definition of a Mary Sue is a female character lacking in weakness and seems perfect. 

She is physically strong, yes - I believe that Isayama wanted to distribute traits to the trio. Even Hannes has said it in S1. Armin represents intellect, Eren represents grit and Mikasa represents strength. So her being physically strong makes sense, and Isayama also provided an explanation for it (being an Ackerman). 

However, this does not mean she lacks any weakness. Arguably, her loyalty to Eren is both a liability and her strength. This “weakness” has been highlighted by her dilemma between her loyalty towards Eren and her belief that mass genocide is wrong.

[I won’t go into details about the manga parts that have not been animated as of 2021, can’t spoil it too much]. 

[maddogofshimano]

Miss Tatsu Character Story

This one was voted on by the good people of Fats Clan, so here’s everyone’s favorite trainer!

Summary: Miss Tatsu is still doing the rounds on debt collection when Ichiban happens to see her in action. He tags along to help as she handles a few more cases and muses on who the worst people are.

We open with a goon harassing Miss Tatsu.

She tells them to get lost, she doesn’t have time for this, but they’re very persistent. Ichiban sees this happening and thinks that these assholes have way too much free time on their hands to harass women. (Since Ichiban is here, this must be in 2018)

Miss Tatsu just beats the guy over the head though, so it’s fine (I really hate the face the goon is making).

His lackey jumps in to defend his aniki, but he’s not sure if he should get rough... She says that that’s enough out of him, and beats him over the head too. 

Ichiban loves to see it. He comments that it looked like it hurt, and that lady really handed it to them. The now beaten goons run off. Miss Tatsu is glad that’s dealt with, and Ichiban approaches to tell her that was really cool how she kicked the hell out of those guys all on her own.

Miss Tatsu thinks Ichiban is also trying to hit on her, and tells him that he already saw what happens if he tries it. He says that he’s not trying to hit on her, he just didn’t know young ladies were so strong these days. 

Miss Tatsu says she is not young. In fact, she’s probably older than Ichiban. (She’s correct!) Ichiban is surprised, it didn’t seem like she was that old at all. The goons return, this time with another, larger goon.

Miss Tatsu’s a little miffed that no one recognizes her. It doesn’t matter, this guy bringing his crew saves her the time and effort of tracking them down. Turns out she was coming to collect on the big guy today.

Miss Tatsu: It’s obvious. If you have the money to go play around with, you have the money to pay your loan back. It’s my job to keep collecting until you’ve paid it off in full.  Goon: J-Just try it. This doesn’t concern you Miss Tatsu! Don’t think that I’m going to lose to a woman! Ichiban: Woah woah, this lady is really strong, but isn’t it cowardly to fight her two on one? Miss Tatsu: This doesn’t concern you. I can handle this on my own no problem. Ichiban: I don’t doubt it. I’m just all worked up for a fight. I’m cutting in to throw some fists. Miss Tatsu: Heh... You’re a rare kind of man these days. Sure, be my guest. I’ll borrow those fists.

<They fight the goons and obliterate them>

Miss Tatsu wants the money now, assuming he hasn’t blown it all already. He hands it over and begs for forgiveness. She complains, this is only half of what he owes. She’s going to come by later for the other half, so he better not try to run off. With that handled, she comments to Ichiban that it was a fun battle, yeah?

Ichiban is impressed with her level of violence. He finally introduces himself and asks if he should call her Miss Tatsu. She says yeah, that’s not a problem. He confirms that she’s a debt collector, based on what he just saw. She says yep, and she has been for a long time now.

He says he’s a little surprised about that, given her looks. She says that’s nice of him to say, but she’s been doing this job for decades now. Ichiban thinks “Decades...? Just how old is this lady?” Ichiban: Is the job dangerous? It seems like there could be a lot of assholes to deal with.  Miss Tatsu: That’s true. There’s a lot of trash out there that borrow money they can’t pay back. That bastard just now is a perfect example, he’d have more than enough money to pay everything back if he didn’t keep blowing it on gambling and women. Miss Tatsu: Even worse, he had a wife who was completely in the dark. That’s the kind of thing I hate most of all. Miss Tatsu: ...Say, you’ve got a pretty good punch, what do you say you work as my assistant for a bit and help me out? Ichiban: Well I gotta say I’m interested in that job, unfortunately I’m a little busy right now. Miss Tatsu: Aww, that’s too bad. Well, till we meet again then. See ya. <She leaves> Ichiban: (Miss Tatsu the debt collector, huh...)

<Part 2>

They happen to bump into each other again. Ichiban asks if she’s out collecting again.

She is, she was just about to head over right now. If he’s got time, maybe he’d want to tag along? Ichiban is glad to, he is still interested in seeing Miss Tatsu in action. They head off and find their target. It’s a homeless guy begging for food.

Ichiban: ...Hold on. There’s no way that guy could have any money, right? Miss Tatsu: Is that what you’re seeing? Well I guess you are still an amateur.  Ichiban: I guess she’s the pro here. ...Still, I don’t like this.  Homeless man: Oh... are you going to give me food- Ah! M-Miss Tatsu! Miss Tatsu: You might be acting like you’re broke, but I see right through that. Now pay your debt! Homeless man: Wh-... I really am broke! I haven’t had anything to eat today! Onlookers: Hold on... Is that lady heartless? Demanding loan payments from a homeless person... Onlookers: Debt collectors are really... the lowest of the low. Still collecting from a person like that.

Ichiban tries to intercede and stop Miss Tatsu. She says that she knows this guy has money, and rips the jacket off of him. He’s wearing a full suit underneath! Ichiban doesn’t understand.

Miss Tatsu explains that this guy had actually been homeless once, but he borrowed money and created a very successful business. He had a large income and a comfortable life, but his obsession with money kept growing. He was terrified of ever losing money, or even spending any that he had, so he started dressing like that to beg for money in the streets and reduce his spending as much as possible.

Also, he’s started referring the local homeless to an abusive temporary staffing agency just to collect the referral bonus. Ichiban says that he’s a real villain, and that he’d have a little more sympathy if the guy at least made all the money honestly.

The man snaps back, saying that neither of them know what they’re talking about! They don’t understand how scary it is to not have any money!

Miss Tatsu says that she’s not trying to take all of his fortune. If he doesn’t pay back the money he borrowed, it’s the lenders who will be in trouble. He tells her to shut up, he’s never going to give up any of his money! The goons from before show up. They want revenge on Miss Tatsu, and it turns out they’re the ones running that abusive temp agency that this guy has been referring people to! 

<They fight, and Miss Tatsu and Ichiban kick their asses>

Miss Tatsu once again demands the cash. He says that well, he doesn’t have anything on him right now... Miss Tatsu says that’s fine, for now he can just hand over everything he’s wearing. That’ll be enough to excuse today. 

He does so, stripping right in the middle of the street. Miss Tatsu says great, she’ll be back for the rest later. He better have actual money next time. He says he will, for sure, and runs off.

Miss Tatsu says that that got a little crazy, huh. Ichiban says that was fine, and even if it was, Miss Tatsu was really cool. 

“Cool? Why would you think that?”

Ichiban explains that it’s just what he feels. Being a debt collector is a job that gets a lot of people hating you. A long time ago he used to collect debts too, but he really hated doing it because of that. 

Miss Tatsu says that yeah, debt collecting has a real bad reputation. But, as long as people lend money in this town, there’s going to be people who abuse it. She can’t stand scumbags like that, so it’s satisfying to stop them. 

Ichiban says he thinks that’s what makes her cool, that she takes on a negative job like that but manages to find satisfaction in it. She says she can accept that compliment then. Since today’s job is over, she heads off. 

“(...She’s got some serious balls.)”

<Part 3>

They’ve run into each other again. Ichiban asks what’s up? She looks tense. 

She says he’s right. She’s going to collect from this guy who she can’t let get away from her. She’s psyching herself up for it. Ichiban offers to help, Miss Tatsu accepts gladly.

He asks what’s special about this target. She asks if he’s heard of people who carry multiple debts. He says yeah, those guys who borrow from a bunch of places, right? Exactly, Ichiban’s pretty knowledgeable on this stuff. This scumbag is a real piece of work, he made his younger brother sign as the guarantor and then ran off, leaving the younger brother to pay for it all.

Ichiban: That is dirty. Though, does that mean you should be collecting from the guy’s younger brother? Miss Tatsu: That’s not an option. The younger brother filed for bankruptcy.  Ichiban: ...Huh, that seems like it’s resolved.  Miss Tatsu: The younger brother is the victim here. Ichiban: A victim...? How do you mean? Miss Tatsu: He only signed because of his relationship with his brother... but his brother was a multiple debtor and had no way to afford paying the debt.   Miss Tatsu: Even more, some of the debt was delinquent enough that the courts were starting to notify him. Ichiban: Ah... Miss Tatsu: The younger brother couldn’t get in contact at all, his brother had already fled abroad. Miss Tatsu: Therefore the younger brother went bankrupt because of the debt left by his older brother, who had no intention of ever paying it.  Ichiban: Being betrayed by your family, huh... Miss Tatsu: Mhm. And with the guarantor bankrupt, there’s no choice but to collect from the debtor himself.  Miss Tatsu: Besides, I think the older brother should have to deal with the consequences of his actions. Miss Tatsu: So I’m going to go collect every penny this guy owes. Ichiban: But, does that mean you’re flying overseas for this? Miss Tatsu: About that... He’s returned home, to Kamurocho. Ichiban: So that’s what you meant about not letting him flee, because he’s finally returned to Japan? Miss Tatsu: Right, it seems like he’s here to visit his favorite hostess in all of Japan. Miss Tatsu: With that information, I’ll be able to grab him before he goes home while he’s off playing with that woman. Miss Tatsu: So you see why I can’t miss this opportunity? I’ll definitely collect on this guy, for sake of his younger brother.  Ichiban: Then I humbly offer my services. <They go to the club>

The target is there and ordering up Gold Champagne.

Miss Tatsu: Seems like you’re well to do. Why don’t you get me a drink. Man: Hm? Lady, I don’t think I requested you? But, you’re pretty so it’s totally okay!

Man: Come, sit~. Why don’t you tell this old man what you want? (Tl note: I don’t want to translate it as daddy but that might be... more accurate) Miss Tatsu: Alright then... How about you paying all of the debts you’ve racked up. Man: Wh-what..? Miss Tatsu: You’re Takeshi, aren’t you? The piece of shit that pushed all his debts off onto his family. Miss Tatsu: I’m here to collect. Takeshi: Uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about! Miss Tatsu: Oh yeah, you got amnesia? Well then, how about I refresh your memory! Miss Tatsu: Here’s the loan book of all the money you borrowed. Are you saying you don’t know what this is? Takeshi: Uh... I-I don’t know what it is! You’re... trying to scam me! Miss Tatsu: You’re the one running a scam!!! You outta know when to give up!! Takeshi: Wahhh!? Ichiban: Oooh, she snapped that table in half. That’s scary. Takeshi: M-My younger brother, collect from him! I don’t have any money left to pay back! Miss Tatsu: You brother went bankrupt. This debt is all on you. Takeshi: Wh-... shit! Hey, you all! Tag in here!

Some new goons step in to help. They think this is an interesting sight.

Takeshi tells them to shut up and help him already. He’ll pay however much they want! Miss Tatsu wonders why he would hire bodyguards if he’s so broke, and says that dirty guys like him are all the same. Takeshi says he’s not returning the money, and tells his posse to do whatever they like to this woman. He’ll give them a bonus for it afterwards!

<They fight, Miss Tatsu remains undefeated>

Miss Tatsu has dragged the man out of the club. He bemoans that this is happening to him, and blames his brother, if he hadn’t filed for bankruptcy then...

Miss Tatsu yells that he’s the one causing troubles for his relatives! He’s so damn irresponsible! Takeshi says that if the person taking the loan can’t pay it, then the guarantor is supposed to pay it instead! 

Miss Tatsu: I’m not one to force stuff, but you listen to me. I know you don’t have any way to pay off this debt right now. Miss Tatsu: Since that’s the case, your only option is to go work on a tuna boat until it’s paid off. Takeshi: W-What! I can’t...!! Miss Tatsu: What kind of man are you? Take some responsibility! Man: Miss, it’s okay. Miss Tatsu: Who are you? ...Ah, you’re Yoshikazu, aren’t you. What’s wrong? Yoshikazu: I heard from a friend that my brother was hanging around the cabaret clubs here.  Ichiban: Oh, I get it... this is his younger brother. Yoshikazu: Here... It’s not a lot, but I think it should cover the interest.

Miss Tatsu: Yoshikazu... Why are you doing this?  Takeshi: What... Why do you have money, even after bankruptcy!? Yoshikazu: You’ve got it wrong, brother. This is money from our father. Takeshi: Our.. parents...? Miss Tatsu: Yoshikazu, even still, I can’t take this money from you. You’re no longer obligated to repay these debts. Yoshikazu: No, this is a family problem. Please, I want you to take it. Yoshikazu: My brother really is a decent person. I’m sure he’ll get all the money back to you. Yoshikazu: Unless you’d rather work on the tuna boat? Takeshi: N-No... I’ll work hard! I’ll work until I can return all the money! Ichiban: Hey, he could be lying. Is it alright to trust him? Miss Tatsu: ...Yoshikazu says so. It’s not my place to say otherwise.  Yoshikazu: Thank you, Miss.  Yoshikazu: I’m going to have a lot of meetings with him to work on how best to pay back everything he owes.  Yoshikazu: Miss Tatsu... You’re a debt collector of justice. Miss Tatsu: ...Justice is stretching it. Yoshikazu: Not at all, that’s what I really think. ...Well, let’s go, brother. Takeshi: Yeah... I’m, really sorry... <They leave> Ichiban: ...Well, do you think this case is settled? Miss Tatsu: We’ll see. Did Takeshi really turn over a new leaf... I’ll have to wait and see. Miss Tatsu: Well, if he pulls something, I won’t forgive him again.  Ichiban: Haha, that’s terrifying. But I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, Miss Tatsu. Ichiban: That Yoshikazu guy sure looked relieved though.  Miss Tatsu: ...Yeah, he did. That’s a first when I’m working a case. Miss Tatsu: People are thankful for the moneylenders, but no one’s been thankful for the debt collectors.  Miss Tatsu: ...Heh. Maybe debt collectors aren’t as bad as people think. <END>

Bonus facts: Miss Tatsu usually uses アタシ (atashi) which is a very feminine personal pronoun. The one exception is when she’s asking why Ichiban thinks she’s cool and she uses 私 (watashi), which is a polite pronoun that leans slightly feminine. 

I wasn’t really able to find a clear explanation, but Miss Tatsu ended a few sentences with かい, and I’m not sure if that’s a dialect or slang or a character quirk. They usually write things phonetically including slang, for example Ichiban says カッコイイ as かっけー and お前 as おめえ to match the lazy slur of the words, so it can be tricky to translate. 

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

Outlanders: How Jinjer survived a revolution and built their own world

Jinjer’s resilient spirit was forged in the civil war that erupted their native Ukraine in 2014. As the groove metal quartet prepare to unleash their fourth and most complex album to date, singer Tatiana Shmayluk relives the turmoil that shaped them. Cue: one of modern music’s most remarkable tales of survival, resistance and sheer determination…

It was when the first fighter jet flew overhead that Tatiana Shmayluk realised she had to run.

For the past few months, the mood in Ukraine had been growing increasingly tense. As a former USSR state, in spring 2014 the country had only had independence from Russia since 1991. Many citizens had wanted then-President Viktor Yanukovych to sign an agreement aligning the country closer with the European Union in November 2013. Plenty of others wanted to stay close to Russia. Protests began across the country. Then violence. Then Yanukovych was ousted from office in February 2014. Then more violence.

“There was a revolution,” says Tatiana. ​“There were huge riots in the main square of Kiev. In the end, our president, his ass was kicked out and he left the country. That was crazy. And then everything turned into chaos. And that’s when people really started hating each other.”

That April, following a highly suspect vote on whether to stay or go which resulted in a widely disputed declaration of autonomy for the region around Tatiana’s home-city of Donetsk in the east of the country, on the border with Russia, armed conflict commenced, involving Russian troops, tanks and air power. So began what Tatiana calls ​“a civil war – Ukrainians attacking Ukrainians”, with those loyal to their former Soviet masters on one side, and those wanting to break free, and have independence and closer ties with the EU on the other.

You may remember news footage of protesters banging dustbin lids at lines of soldiers and riot police. The politics of the situation are obviously layered and complex, but the simple version is: imagine a turbo version of Brexit that actually tore the country in two and resulted in one region declaring an independence that’s somewhat disputed by most of the world that isn’t Russia. And with a lot more violence. And a conflict that’s still piling up bodies now.

Tatiana was having a barbecue when she realised what was about to happen. ​“We were at a picnic, not far away from my building where I lived,” she says today from her flat in the Ukrainian capital, Kiev. ​“We were just chilling on the grass, eating food and stuff. And we heard this loud sound in the sky – we looked up and saw a jet. And that was that. We just grabbed our stuff and ran home, and we started figuring out how to leave before it was too late.”

Had Tatiana and her friends – including other members of her band, Jinjer – waited much longer than they did, their passage to Lviv some 1,300 kilometres to the west, where bassist Eugene Abdukhanov and his wife were already living, might have been much more hazardous. Even as they ​“packed all our shit into a van” and made a break for it, the country was starting to change shape around them.

“Already there were borders built being built around our region,” she says. ​“And I remember when we were crossing it, we were met by a guy, a soldier with a weapon. And then we heard [machine gun fire] somewhere very close to us.”

As she describes this, Tatiana makes an almost amusing machine gun noise, but she is painfully aware that even seven years on, the situation remains a serious one. ​“There’s no way out for this problem,” she says, ​“No solution. And that’s really, really sad.” If one needed an example of the lasting effects here, her parents have remained behind in what she calls, with almost mundane succinctness, ​“the war zone”.

“There’s an actual border between Ukraine and the former parts of the country, and it’s all blocked. And due to the pandemic, they have no chance to cross borders,” she explains. ​“They cannot receive money from the government, their pensions. I always tell my mom, ​‘Hey, mom, just try once to do this, make really big effort and cross this border, even [if you have to go] through Russia. Just come here and stay here. I can help you in any way possible.’ But she is old school. And when you have been living on this earth for over 60 years, it’s really hard to change your way of living.”

But that’s what Tatiana and Jinjer have had to do. And growing from such trying circumstances has only made them more rigid in their resolve. Because literally having to run for your life will have an effect on a person. ​“Growing balls, maintaining your balls,” is how she puts it.

“Of course, it makes you stronger,” she says. ​“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Today, Tatiana has lived in Kiev for more than five years. As Jinjer’s singer, she is one of the rising stars of European metal, and made her living visiting countries as far-flung as Argentina, Australia and Japan to play her band’s music. Next week, the band release their fourth album, Wallflowers, a furious, razor-sharp work of metal that will delight fans of Cradle Of Filth and Conjurer alike, and will add nicely to streams that, in total, already sit at over 100 million.

Though she says that she’s only been recognised around town a handful of times, and that she probably gets noticed more for the tattoos that cover her arms and neck (“Old women who were born in the Soviet Union really reject people with tattoos,” she says. ​“They look at you like you’re a prisoner, or a prostitute…”) than for her music, at 34 life for Tatiana is very different to what she knew growing up. As a kid in the early ​’90s, after the collapse of the USSR, her family were, she says, ​“average”, but there were clues that the Shmayluk family were not one of society’s ​‘haves’.

“I remember that we couldn’t afford meat,” she recalls. ​“After the Cold War ended we got a lot of American food, like veggie burgers. It looked like oatmeal with brown [fake] chicken that you make into patties, and then you fry them. You eat them as kind of meat, but it’s not. It’s just some shit, like some very plastic stuff. I realised how poor we were. And I was crying, ​‘Mom, I just want some meat. I don’t want to eat this.’”

Elsewhere, though, Tatiana remembers her childhood as being ​“great”, a time she looks back on with fondness. ​“We didn’t have internet and stuff, so we just played outside all day long. And school was awesome.” The food imports post-Cold War might not have been the most brilliant thing she had ever seen, but the new order also brought with it more western culture. MTV introduced six-year-old Tatiana to hip-hop (“I’d practice dancing like MC Hammer”), but via going through her brother’s room and raiding his tape collection – often bootlegs – she also got turned on to Nirvana, Metallica and The Offspring.

“We had this family tradition that every evening we had supper together around the same table,” she remembers. ​“When I discovered The Offspring, I put Smash on my huge headphones. I was sitting in a chair, eating, and I wasn’t talking to anyone from my family, just listening to music. And then when I finished, I just sat back and just enjoyed the music, doing nothing.”

Her ability to both lose and find herself in music turned into doing something more significant at high school when, after years spent doodling herself playing guitar in a band with other girls in a sketchbook, Tatiana performed her first gig as part of a talent contest, doing covers of songs by Limp Bizkit and German metallers Guano Apes (“No-one voted for us,” she laughs). Her first gig as an audience member, meanwhile, came a few years later, when Soulfly played in Kiev. Despite the fact she didn’t actually get to see Max Cavalera and his band onstage, it was an experience in itself.

“I traveled from Donetsk to Kiev, like, 700 – 800 kilometres,” she says. ​“My parents were very protective, they didn’t want me going anywhere on road trips or anything, and they didn’t give me any money to spend. I only got to watch maybe 30 minutes of the show, because my boyfriend got drunk and started a fight with someone. Security grabbed him and threw him out of the club. It was quite a shitty day!”

In 2010, aged 23, having completed language studies at university, and working briefly at a dating agency, Tatiana joined Jinjer. Two years later, they self-released their debut EP, Inhale, Don’t Breathe. A year after that, they played outside Ukraine for the first time, in neighbouring Romania. ​“That gave us a push to move forward, because we really liked it,” she says. ​“And although we didn’t bring any money back – we didn’t earn anything – we realised that we want to do this, and we’re going to overcome any obstacle that is waiting for us.”

Eight months later, this would be put to the test by fleeing the war. Having moved to Lviv, Jinjer – Tatiana, Eugene, guitarist Roman Ibramkhalilov and then-drummer Yevhen Mantulin – then all moved into what the singer describes as ​“a summer house” just outside the city. Soon, the band became a full-time concern. They still had nothing, but it was a more fun nothing.

“We were all just hoping for the best, touring just with money that we had, earning nothing, like one euro,” she says. ​“Sometimes we didn’t have anything to eat, basically, because we were broke, because everyone had just quit their jobs. We just had some coins to buy a beer. That was intense. But I remember those years only with a warm heart. That was fun. That was a really huge challenge for just people who had never done that before, but we happened to overcome all this shit because we stayed together.”

But as touring became a more regular thing and things for Jinjer seemed to be on the up and up, the band once again found themselves faced with bad luck that most will, mercifully, never know. On tour in 2014, they had a long drive to Russia for the next run of shows. Stopping at a friend’s house in Kiev for the night, Tatiana took a taxi back to her own place, leaving everyone else to continue partying and drinking. At 4am, she got a phone call about Yevhen.

“They said, ​‘You have to come here because he’s broken his spine,’” she recalls. ​“He fell out of the window. Everyone [had gone] to sleep, and he stayed there in the kitchen, sitting on the window frame, smoking. And then he fell asleep, and fell from the third floor. They heard someone screaming in the middle of the night, but they didn’t realise – they thought that it was maybe a dog or something. And then someone checked the kitchen and he was not there. Then they looked down and saw him just lying there.”

By some miracle, he survived, though he no longer has use of his legs. Tatiana says she and his bandmates were ​“in shock for many years”, and that, ​“I remember we were all around him, toured with him, just hanging out, and then he’s just like… bam.” But even this incident, which left him in a wheelchair and unable to return to the band, is talked about in the same spirited, fighty way that Tatiana talks about every challenge.

“He seems very positive,” she says. ​“He’s doing music and he tours around Russia with a band. It’s kind of a hip-hop band, and he plays guitar. He’s still doing tours, so that’s awesome.”

Should you ask Tatiana to describe to you the Ukrainian national character, she’ll tell you that they are “stubborn”, and that as a whole they feel “we have nothing to lose”. She’ll also tell you that, “Ukrainians are very passionate people. Not like Italians [are passionate], for example, or Spanish people. We are passionate with a straight face, you know, not smiling – more like Russians.” When it comes to danger, meanwhile, she says that “we take risks easily”.

Surprisingly, despite the above description matching the impression you get of Tatiana from her story, she doesn’t think of herself as ​“a typical Ukrainian”. She does, though, nod in confirmation when asked if she sees playing music as a form of resistance. Before any of the bigger events and challenges, this spirited defiance started with becoming a musician at all, at home.

“The first time I resisted something that really prevented me from doing what I love was my parents,” she says. ​“Mostly my mom, who didn’t want to see me as a musician. In Ukraine, it’s kind of a big thing. If you’re a musician, it’s not respected. From 17 to 23, I was protesting [her], silently. I didn’t, like, yell at her; I didn’t fight with her. I just said, ​‘Yeah, yeah,’ and I did my own thing. That’s when it started, and it’s still going this way.”

An example: on Wallflowers, there’s a song, Disclosure, in which Tatiana vents about treatment at the hands of certain media outlets in her homeland. Even being used to internet haters, giving the band shit for everything from daring to escape a warzone, to daring to have a female member, to daring to become successful, the experience left her boiling.

“Earlier this year, in March, me and Eugene went to some studio to do an interview with a Ukrainian guy who is a YouTuber, and he used to work on Ukrainian TV channels,” she says. ​“So there was a tense atmosphere, and very angry vibrations between us. And he was so manipulative. We had differences in our political views and stuff, and he didn’t want to accept that. So he really wanted to show us in a very bad, bad way. I was pissed off for three days after that, and wrote the song about it.”

As people with a profile, do you think you’re a target for that sort of thing?

“We absolutely are targets for those people, for haters,” Tatiana says. ​“They hate us for different reasons: for me being a woman, you know. And people think that we pay for [success], like with our money – some of them think that we are hugely rich. My mom is a bookkeeper! My dad worked in coal mining, he was a worker, just working class. But no-one cares. They always find something to blame us for. But at least they don’t do us any harm. Only with words and comments. It’s distant. They’re poison, but it goes nowhere.”

Tatiana Shmayluk is a self-evidently tough woman. She’s also extremely nice. Equally, she’s extremely modest. When she talks about her life’s trials and triumphs, survival and successes, she does so in a manner that almost shrugs these things off, that possibly anyone could do them. Possibly, if pushed by the sight of a war literally kicking off while you have a barbecue, we could. But it’s still surprising that, for someone with more real things to get angry about than most, she describes what she’s putting into Wallflower as simply ​“my whining and insecurities”.

“Every album, I find something to be angry about,” she says. ​“It’s pessimistic, but it’s nothing to do with the pandemic. The pandemic gave me some time to just sit and think about, different stuff that I’ve been going through. And we have to agree that the whole world isn’t getting any better – I put myself into this kind of state of mind that, ​‘Okay, it’s almost the end of the world.’ Maybe the next album will be more optimistic and more positive. Maybe…”

Pessimism or not, none of it makes her story of prevailing against the things she has any less stirring. Never mind the fact that the band she fronts come from a country most tours don’t even stop at. She’s – rightfully – proud of Jinjer’s success, and the work ethic it’s taken to get them where they are, but she’s almost at pains to share the glory with her bandmates. And in part, it’s this that’s carried Jinjer through all this the most. It’s this, she says, that’s helped her both survive, and to thrive.

“I would never do this myself. I wouldn’t be able to work on so many obstacles just by myself,” Tatiana admits. ​“And if I had some type of my own personal career, just a single singer, I wouldn’t even start doing that. I really need those guys. And the guys, I hope they need me. That’s just how it works: all together. Even having nothing in our pockets and empty stomachs, we could work.

“It just depends on how big your dream is.”

[zingthesnek]

Aight since I got called a pussy by @vesselofwhiteboychad and her wife @gojocaninfinitymyass imma rant

about the dreaded webtoon lmao

(don't take this too srsly I'm too lazy to put much thought and effort into this post)

Okay so LO (lor3 Olympus)

It's honestly not that good, at all. I'm not going to say it's bad, but people glamorize the living crap outta it.

Basic plot summary: Persephone is a young adult out to see the world romance with hades yadda yadda fucked up shit happens yadda yadda. That's kind it. it's romance waddya expect something deep?

Listen I have a couple issues with LO. That mainly stem from the way ppl act like it's this great feminist love story it's not. Like it handles issues better than most cheesy romance stories, but key word being "better" not the best.

LO "promotes body positivity", literally Persephone has an hour glass figure and is petite. Very Marilyn Monroe, nothing wrong with that, but to pretend that it isn't the ideal body type for women is an understatement. She has some stretch marks and a slight belly, I'll give some props for that.

LO "handles abuse and trauma well". I'm not going to disagree with this point, it handles it well but the usage of trauma is just to make other characters look better in comparison. Like hades isn't exactly a stand up guy, he's better but the author had to make other men completely shit human beings to make him look good.

LO "is shows male abuse" again the author did the same thing but reversed it in order to make Persephone look like an amazing wonderful person UwU bean. She added minthe another shitty character. Hades abuse is still barely covered, Persephone might be getting help for her issues hades went to 1 therapy session and hasn't worked out his trauma at all.

LO falls into the traditional traps of literally any other romance shitty ex girlfriend, and creepy asshole. Like if you take away the fact it's "Greek mythology" it's just another garbage romance. Listen I love garbage romances I watch vampire diaries for ducks sake, the only thing that annoys me is the whole "it's super feminist uwu", cuz it's not.

It's a pseudo woke webtoon they added 1 lesbian couple for shits and giggles and 1 overweight character (in the background)

Listen LO is a webtoon that has the author's ddlg kink written all over it. (Yes she has a ddlg kink ask anyone who subs to her Patreon). Not to kinkshame anyone, but once you no that you can clearly see it in the story

Now I can't write romance for shit, but most of Persephone and hades interactions are them lusting after eachother, him buying her things, or delivering exposition. They occasionally talk trauma and set up boundaries, (which is good) but they don't have anything that makes me think they'll actually get along besides the fact they think the other one is hot.

Now the age gap thing is one of those things I gotta tip toe on, cuz people pull the "she's an adult yada yada".

It's not so much the fact that's she's "legal" it's the fact the webtoon gives her zero agency, she doesn't buy her own clothes, study what she wants, literally she has no desires outside of wanting freedom from her mother and lusting after hades. No goals career or aspirations. Nothing, ppl also like to go "she's a strong women uwu" she falls into the "the author didn't actually know what a strong female character is so they gave her some form of super power". Strong female characters aren't always physically strong, a strong female character is a female character who can stand on their own (without other characters) and you understand their wants, personality. The can be feminine and soft take wakana from utena or anthy himemiya they are strong female characters but aren't physically strong.

Persephone going apeshit on a bunch of villagers isn't queen shit it's a scapegoat because the author couldn't give Persephone actual motivation.

Hades is a whole nother bundle, dudes just kinda there? His main goal is a happy loving life (totally fair) but outside of his romance with Persephone he isn't doing much to do that. I won't get on the whole "he's creepy for lusting after a 19 year old" topic cuz that's a bag of worms that I agree and disagree with. Point is hades isn't the healthiest dude and has a lot to work through, he can still pursue Persephone but it would be nice to see him working through his stuff as well.

Now this is a tidbit that annoys the shit outta me so imma just put a big TW for RAPE and Virginity.

Okay so TGOEM or the concept of eternal maiden hood. First of of I hate the way virginity is used in this webtoon.

Like it's fucked up to say rape "counts". Persephone was raped so she according to the author isn't a virgin.

Again this is just a me thing, but rape shouldn't fucking count. It's not a "sexual experience" it's an act of violence. Yes it's sexual violence, but it's not and shouldn't count as your first time ever. A lot of women I know who's "first time" was rape are forever scared by it. And I personally would love it if popular media would stop portraying it as such.

It's fucked up, and the concept of eternal maidenhood isn't something that needed to be in the story. And the fact no one reached out to Persephone to explain this awful.

Yeah maybe nitpicky on my part but idc

Another thing I have no issue with the age gap per say, LO isn't for kids so my issue is mainly that the platform itself markets it towards a younger demographic and had 0 ratings. It will likely also be tV 14 when it comes out, which will also annoy me at least make it NC 17 or TV MA, but only time will tell

But listen LO is summary is a trashy romance with slightly better handling of abuse and trauma. Don't expect this grand masterpiece. I read it cuz I like trashy romance.

LO fans don't even @ me I'll block you on sight

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 06 (first part)

(Masterpost)(Episode 05)

Warning: This contains spoilers for All 50 Episodes

Bad Boys Bad Boys What You Gonna Do

Nie Huasang’s brought his nuts, and someone’s brought wine, so the boys are drinking in Wei Wuxian’s guest house. Finally he gets to drink some of the Emperor’s Smile wine that he’s been doing all those product placements for.

Boys, get a bowl or something for your shells, were you raised in a barn?

Wei Wuxian hits on waxes poetic about the wine, and Jiang Cheng tells him to shut up. 

Wang Zhuocheng’s raw-fish-eating face may have failed him, but his drunk faces do not disappoint.

Wei Wuxian teases Jiang Cheng about his list of standards for a chick: She should have natural beauty, be virtuous and caring, from a good family, not too talkative, with a gentle voice, and not too capable. Also she should not spend too much money. Drunken running ensues.

Cue Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin

(more behind the cut)

Much of the fandom has decided this list is a good fit for Nie Huaisang himself, and it sorta is. But he is both talkative and unvirtuous, what with all the current sneakiness, and all the eventual murders. 

This also definitely doesn't fit Wen Qing because she's capable as hell.  

This list is, however, a 100% a match for Jiang Yanli. Not in a weird, Jin Guangyao way--a lot of men want to marry a woman like their sister.  In a gender-divided and generation-divided society, a man’s sister might be the only woman he’s ever known well. Jiang Cheng adores Yanli and she’s his ideal model of a woman, as opposed to his mother, who...isnt.  

All these robes and talismans over the door do nothing to stop Lan Wangji from strolling in.  

Okay so - Lan Wangji is the senior disciple of the Lan Clan, yea? There is no way that patrolling the guest area is in any way his job. He is just walking around here at night specifically to see what Wei Wuxian is doing.

I already did a gifpost of the boys and their totally nonsexual horseplay, over here. I’ll just add, for sad factor, that Jiang Cheng is play-choking Wei Wuxian when they’re all on the bed, and later in the running-and-crying episode he is gonna for-real choke him. Foreshadowing! or maybe just coincidence!

One fun thread running through the young-cultivators episodes is that Nie Huaisang is legit terrified of Lan Wangji while also having a major aesthetic crush on him. Look at how flustered he is here, trying to act sober while also checking him out. 

Lan Wangji is shocked and visibly upset - what are you guys doing? This is not his busting face, this is, for a moment, his vulnerable and disillusioned face. He is super not used to what normal people are like. 

Wei Wuxian doesn't lie or otherwise try to get off the hook, which has got to have Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang grinding their teeth in frustration. He invites Lan Wangji to join them for a drink. LWJ cites a the “no drinking on campus” rule and WWX tries to convince him to chill. 

Then we have this lovely coordinated faint by the boys, to get out of going to get punished. Nie Huaisang has been practicing fainting in front of a mirror just in case he ever needs a skill like that in the future. 

Wei Wuxian keeps trying to turn this into a date. Eventually Lan Wangji is so upset he admits he can’t take all three of them by himself. 

Then the boys run away fake-barfing and Wei Wuxian hits Lan Wangji with a talisman. 

Steal His Agency That’s What You’re Gonna Do

What Wei Wuxian does to Lan Wanji here is definitely wrong. But it's not entirely a disaster.  It allows some crucial information to be shared between them, and it results in Wei Wuxian getting the utter shit beat out of him and never doing this again. I mean, he continues to mind-control his enemies and their eventual corpses, but he doesn't intentionally violate a friend or ally's autonomy in the future. Uhh not counting that whole golden core surgery-without-consent situation. And probably some other situations I’ve forgotten. He improves slightly, okay? 

It’s important to note, incidentally, that the Lan rules about drinking and other “vices” should not be viewed through a Christian lens. The Lans are neither puritans nor ascetics (look at their clothes, furniture, and jewelry, for starters). Being drunk is forbidden probably because it’s a loss of self-control. 

Speaking of self-control, mad props to Wang Yibo for being able to have zero physical reaction to fingers snapping in his face.

Drunk Lan Wangji

Under duress, Lan Wangji knocks back a cup of wine and promptly passes most of the way out. 

Wei Wuxian puts Lan Wangji into bed not unkindly, but pretty much like a sack of potatoes. Compare this to how tenderly he handles Lan Wangji the next time he’s drunk. 

WWX tells LWJ to call him Wei Gege, and giggles. Is this a term of endearment in this context? So far the various boys are calling each other -xiong, not -ge or gege.  In Western media, men calling each other “bro” is basically saying “no homo,” but brotherhood and sisterhood in C-Drama is often a way of indicating stronger love than friendship, without saying whether it's sexual or not. 

They finally start to have a conversation, and when Lan Wangji explains that no-one can touch his headband except, etc etc, Wei Wuxian stops trying to touch it. So at least he's not a handsy bastard in addition to all his other faults. 

Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji that his clan is boring and women won't want to marry him. Lan Wangji says that's fine. On one level this is the show acknowledging that he's gay, but I think he's responding in a gender-neutral way; he doesn't want to marry anyone. Marriage, from his perspective, is the literal worst. 

We don't know how he felt about his father, but he definitely loved his mother deeply, and she had a profoundly unhappy marriage, in which her husband did not provide companionship and her children were taken from her.

A note about all that: The dynamics of heterosexual marriages in The Untamed are not based on contemporary companionate marriage. Sex and reproduction is a wife's job in this world, and giving a gentry woman the option to choose her husband is radical. Wei Wuxian is the only one who dares say that Jiang Yanli should have a choice when Jin Guangshan casually tries to give her to his son in front of everyone.  

OP made this today but will totally reuse it when episode 23 rolls around

So Lan Wangji’s parents' marriage was extremely problematic but not necessarily for the reasons it would be in contemporary terms. Having signed on to marry Lan Dad, Mom would have expected to live together and get laid regularly (important for health, in some traditional views, regardless of love/no love) and to have the company of her children. Instead, she was isolated. Lan Dad wanted to have it both ways and so even though he loved her and apparently hooked up with her sometimes, he didn't do his duty by her. She didn't love him but she did her duty. 

Wei Wuxian continues to not get it, calling Lan Wangji dull and babbling about Lan Wangji’s parents until he realizes that LWJ is an orphan like him. 

A nice shift happens here. Once the penny drops, Wei Wuxian doesn't ask a single additional question - he just sees - by reading Lan Wangji’s face - what the deal is, and shares his own story to show he understands. 

This is the first time Wei Wuxian mentions being chased by dogs, which is kind of a big deal, because why was he left all alone when his parents died? 

Why didn't anyone take him in before Jiang Fengmian found him? How isolated are independent cultivators in this world? 

Tea Time

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen are having tea, and the Lan Clan is so uptight they don't touch each other's teacups. I don't know what this thing is called so I'm going to call it a tea speculum. 

Lan Qiren is back from the cultivation conference and says the red crack plague is happening over in Qinghe where the Nie clan lives.  Lan Xichen fills him in on the water demon, specifically saying Wei Wuxian figured out the connection to the red crack dudes, and explaining who WWX is, as if Lan QIren hadn't already thrown stuff at him and threatened to eventually kill him. 

Fun fact that I just noticed this week so didn't make it into earlier posts: In Episode 46, when Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are in the Jiang ancestral hall, WWX says he was often punished to kneel there, and LWJ said that they heard about this in Gusu.  

So when WWX came to Gusu he already had a reputation as a troublemaker, and the Lan brothers were aware of it.   

Busted and Beaten

A Lan snitch comes in to say that Wei Wuxian has successfully corrupted Lan Wangji, which really shouldn’t cause as much surprise as it does.

“Wei Wuxian got drunk”

“Lan Wangji got drunk”

Lan Xichen takes a moment to consider carefully whether Wei Wuxian is a good friend for his little brother and whether perhaps he was too hasty in throwing them together. Ha ha ha no he doesn’t. 

On the punishment porch, Lan Xichen tries to lecture Lan Wangji in a calm way, but Lan Qiren wants to beat him and Lan Wangji wants to get beat. Wei Wuxian can’t understand why Lan Wangji doesn’t let him take the blame for the drinking. 

Lan Qiren goes way the fuck overboard with this punishment because he's angry--losing control and losing his sense of proportion--and Lan Xichen is shocked. The drone camera watching from above is also shocked.  

Lan Qiren has a few (very few) redeeming qualities, but his extreme rigidity and chronic resentment of anyone he perceives as bad are serious problems. His nephews are both struggling with complex moral quandaries as they get older, and he is absolutely no help to them in resolving their conflicts.

This is definitely...a style of parenting & teaching, but you can see how poorly it works, with Lan Wangji straight up saying “fuck it” after many years of conformity.  Lan Xichen is devoted to the middle path and tries to be obedient. But he is actually not walking anywhere near the middle path, as he gets pulled into colluding with a murderer at the same time as getting dragged onto his brother’s carnival ride. These men need parenting that isn’t so, uh, fucking stupid. (Yes, grown adults still need good parenting; watch Go Ahead if you doubt me) 

Wei Wuxian initially yells and falls down when he gets hit, but then he sees Lan Wangji is taking the beating without any reaction and he tries to do the same. 

Aftermath

Jiang Yanli gently lectures the boys, blaming Jiang Cheng for Wei Wuxian's drinking.  Jesus Christ, he's the younger sibling, could you just NOT, Yanli?  

Both boys ask Yanli not to tell their parents. The boys bicker about who's at fault and then Wei Wuxian shifts to baby voice and starts whining to Yanli about the pain. 

Yanli tells him to suck it up, and says after school she'll -- ok and I know this will be a surprise for everyone -- make soup for them. The boys immediately get back on the same team, which is team Please Put Meat In the Soup.

There's a nice character building moment for Wei Wuxian here. When he sees Lan Xichen he initially turns away to avoid running into him, but then he adults-up and goes to face him and greet him, giving him a half of a bow because of the pain, the pain. Rather than complaining about his punishment he meekly asks if he's broken another rule. 

Lan Xichen tells him that he did wrong but that Lan Qiren’s punishment was too harsh, and then in what is one of my favorite Lan Xichen moments, invites Wei Wuxian to use the cold spring to heal, but doesn't invite Jiang Cheng to go with him even though Jiang Cheng also was beaten. Lan Xichen, Matchmaker Auntie Extraordinaire. 

Then he answers Wei Wuxian’s question about his mom by saying she was just like Wei Wuxian and drove Lan Qiran up the wall. Jiang Cheng's reaction to that is really sweet. He does enjoy Wei Wuxian at the same time as being constantly irritated by him. 

Lan Xichen does his patented “breaking off in the middle of saying something and leaving out a chunk of the story” maneuver, although this time he doesn't include a flute solo. 

OP is mildly obsessed with Xuan Lu’s shoulders in this outfit. Also Yanli has an interesting sword, that's got some wood carving similar to Subian, but without the organic look, which OP only noticed because of screen capping Xuan Lu’s shoulders.  

Club Ruohan

Wen Qing continues to be pretty and slightly evil at this stage, sending magic fire notes to her boss using this talisman that is definitely floating in the air and not just hanging from a string. 

Wen Ruohan is in the mosh pit with his zombie groupies while he reads Wen Qing’s extremely vague status update and says "it all makes sense." 

Reach out and touch faith

Soundtrack

Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode

Writing Prompt

How did Wei Wuxian’s parents die?

Admin Notes

I’m going to start spacing out my “first part” and “second part” posts by a few days.  I’ll update this post to link up the second part once I post it, and my masterpost is always up to date. 

Also: if you want more of my original content but don’t want to follow my whole blog (not following is fine!), I keep a pinboard of fun stuff at the top of my blog. I try to post original content at least once a week.

Continued in the second part later this week!

[ilikekidsshows]

Honestly, I'm completely with you on the whole SentiAdrien thing, but what about SentiGabriel? I've never seen anyone talk about it and I imagine we'd run into a lot of the same issues, but what if Emilie made a mistake that cost her husband's life and because she was already fading, she created a replacement to either revive her or reverse her mistakes? I think it would explain some stuff, but probably also create more questions, like, what about GabeNath? How does it impact their partner-/ P1

P2 relationship? Was Gabriel Agreste really like this or is that Emilie's perception of him or what she wants/needs him to be? How do Felix and his mother and the rings factor into this? It does seem a little weird though to have your main villain basically comatose for most of the show and what amounts to a glorified henchman fill her shoes instead, so this is really more of a sudden thought that hit me after the Adrien flashback in Wishmaker.

There are some issues with the idea of Gabriel being a Sentimonster, mostly having to do with what that would mean for Gabriel's credibility as a villain and, of course, his dynamic with Adrien.

While the idea of a henchman running the show while the evil overlord sits on their laurels or is unavailable is not that uncommon, it's more a fantasy trope than a superhero trope. She-Ra, in its first iteration, had the main villain Hordak serving Horde Prime, who barely showed up in the show. Similarly, the reboot has Hordak tinkering in his lab for over half of the series while his henchwoman Catra fights the heroes as the main villain and he, in fact, never takes over as the main villain. The closest superhero media has gotten to this is probably Darkseid from DC or Apocalypse or Galactus from Marvel, who all often send envoys to fight the heroes, but they are always somehow behind the plan and the henchmen do report directly to them or are preparing for their arrival. Doing a simple villain switcheroo isn't something that would fit the scale of the Agrestes as a threat. All the examples I have given are some kind of evil overlords, godlike beings or both.

It's not just that the trope doesn't fit but there's, of course, some theming issues as well. I have seen a post earlier that criticised the idea of Emilie being evil specifically in relation to a scenario where she's actually even worse than Gabriel, making our main villain literally the lesser of two evils. This would make it so that Gabriel wouldn't really be fully responsible for his villainy, if he was brought onto that path by his wife, and it has some pretty unfortunate implications towards how women are viewed that can be seen even in mythology, like the tale of Adam and Eve. Basically, the implication is that evil, evil women corrupt poor, hard-working men with their seductive feminine viles.

Gabriel being a Sentimonster that Emilie made that was accidentally made evil by her has similar connotations of Gabriel only being evil because of Emilie, meaning that this man's crimes were only caused by his lady love. Women are just fundamentally evil and corrupt the men around them. I doubt a show that tries to be feminist would go that route. Emilie recreating a beast of a husband has less of those implications but it's still kinda iffy. Never mind the Pygmalion associations of Emilie sculpting her husband into existence, even if only as a copy, and a copy with no agency at that.

As a side note, I doubt Amelie or Félix would be aware of it if Gabriel was a Sentimonster or that there's anything up with him regardless. Otherwise they'd try to capitalize on that to get what they want: the rings. However, I doubt the rings would be the Amokized object, since then Gabriel would be more alarmed over losing one and Nathalie would be able to sense the Amok, since I doubt she would be in on it, unless she also used to be Emilie's confidant. Instead, the rings would be symbolic of the pretend marriage bond to Emilie, which explains why Gabriel fiddles with them in order to center himself, with the Amok being somewhere more secure. The other option would be that even he thinks he's the real Gabriel Agreste and doesn't realize that the ring(s) hold his essence. The Gabriel in the show being a Sentimonster would mean that Emilie would want her actual husband, so Nathalie could keep the copy she fell in love with, but any relationship with Sentimonster Gabriel would be iffy in terms of consent because Sentimonsters don’t have agency.

Finally, the show has shown us that Sentimonsters' capability for emotion can vary, most Sentimonsters barely emote, while Sentibug's mood flipped on a dime and came across as more performative than real, and she was the best effort of Nathalie to create a versatile Sentimonster that could pass off as the real thing. We don't know much about Sentimonster behavior since they're often created for a simple, singular purpose, but Astruc has said that all relevant information has already come out, so Sentibug's strange emoting is most likely on purpose and relevant. Her missions was "pass off as the real thing", and even then there was something off about her.

This would serve to excuse Gabriel's inability to form a true parental bond with his son. As a Sentimonster, it is very likely that Gabriel would be incapable of loving his son selflessly and taking care of him properly, either because Sentimonsters truly do feel lesser emotions or because Emilie didn't give him that ability. You could argue that there's some symbolism with adoption with them not really being "blood-related", and that being why Gabriel abuses Adrien, but that's a pretty weird parallel to make, unless the show is actually going to side with the myth that a parent will always love a child of their blood more than an adopted one. I just think that we really don't need more media that vilifies adoption, adoptive parents in particular. In addition, adoptive parents don't have a magical condition that makes them incapable of feeling as deeply as real human beings, so it would be ineffective symbolism as well.

[lenawin4]

vincenzo & the godfather

okay okay so from someone who has watched/rewatched The Godfather multiple times for the past seven years, it is very easy to see why I loved Vincenzo so much. The Godfather has been my favorite movie ever since I watched it, so now Vincenzo is my favorite kdrama. because I literally cannot shut up about how much Park Jae-Bum drew from it, I will proceed to just write meta about this gd show. warning for an incredibly long post, where I’ve bolded the most direct parallels. listen to this while you read it.

What is The Godfather?

Well, the IMDB summary says this:

An organized crime dynasty's aging patriarch transfers control of his clandestine empire to his reluctant son.

Which is pretty accurate. It’s a modern Greek tragedy about the son, Michael Corleone: we see his descent from a kind-hearted veteran who wants nothing to do with the family business to becoming a corrupt, cold-hearted businessman for the sake of his family and his family’s legacy. After his father, Vito, is nearly killed, a series of events leads Michael to become the new Don.

Now the main characters are:

Michael Corleone - the youngest son

Vito Corleone - the Don, or in Vincenzo terms, the Capo (both refer to the Godfather/the boss)

Sonny Corleone - the oldest son (very brash + impulsive, which is why Vito doesn’t want to hand power to him)

Fredo Corleone - the middle son (seemingly sweet + clueless, the least business-like, which is why he never gets involved in any family business)

Tom Hagen - the consigliere

The Consigliere

The first incredibly impressive characterization Vincenzo gets right is the consigliere’s ruthlessness. In the first two Godfather movies, Tom Hagen:

Cuts off the prized horse’s head to convince a man to sign a document (yes, that famous horse head scene)

Orchestrates the assassination of the head of another family and a police officer under his payroll

Convinces someone to commit suicide by indirectly threatening his family

Not only that, but Tom Hagen himself is an orphaned Irish boy, adopted into an Italian Mafia family. He’s an adopted foreigner groomed to become the capo’s/don’s right-hand-man as the consigliere. 

In the first movie, Sonny (the oldest son) is angry after his father’s attack and wants to strike back at the other family who ordered the hit immediately. Because Tom is a lawyer and has advised Vito for years now, he advises Sonny not to act so impulsively. In response, Sonny yells, “Will you just do what I tell you to do? Goddamn it, if I had a wartime consigliere, a Sicilian, I wouldn’t be in this shape!” There’s a moment when Sonny cools down, tries to backtrack what he says, before apologizing. Tom isn’t having it.

Now watch Vincenzo battle racism and an impulsive, brash, violent brother. He is a lawyer, yes, but that’s most likely what they groomed him to be after he turned to the Mafia to torture and kill his foster parents’ murderer. It probably wasn’t his choice, much like it probably wasn’t Tom’s choice, to become consigliere: it was just the only option they knew, to give back to the Family that took them in. It was for their survival in a world where they’re outnumbered and ostracized for their race, and their advice (Vincenzo criticizing Paolo for killing women and children vs. Tom criticizing Sonny’s impulsiveness) is ignored by those who still see them as outsiders, even after the Don/Capo accepted them into their families.

The New Don

OKAY SO. I didn’t think Park Jae-Bum would go ALL out on the Godfather references - I thought it would end with the first episode/how they built Vincenzo’s character to become a direct mirror to how Tom Hagen was a foreigner adopted into the family. But the conversation with Park Seok-Do to get Vincenzo to call him hyung, Seok-Do calling him Michael Corleone, and the Godfather theme playing in the background - made me go absolutely insane.

So here’s the deal about Michael. First, Michael before his father’s attempted assassination:

Is a sweet, patriotic boy who just came back from the war (WWII)

Has a girlfriend named Kay who he promises he won’t get involved with the family business

The Lighter

Then his father almost dies, and Michael is pulled into the business. He protects his father when he’s healing in the hospital against hired guns from a rival family. There’s an excellent scene analysis on Youtube (1:15) about how just one simple two second frame shows that while one of his father’s friends nervous, and yet Michael — who has, arguably, fought in a war — isn’t nervous at all, which foreshadows his level-headedness and cold cruelty when he becomes the new Don. How, you ask, do we know? WELL.

The hired bodyguard can’t seem to ignite his lighter because of his nervousness. Michael, calm and collected, takes the lighter and ignites it from him.

*distant screaming*

Vincenzo’s lighter has always been his go-to tool to calm him down, to collect himself, to prepare for war. It’s the sound that makes him think. It’s poetic that it’s also Michael’s way of telling the audience that he is ready for a war between Mafia families.

The Lovelife

So after protecting his father, Tom Hagen and Sonny are discussing how to deal with the rival family. Michael himself volunteers to murder them by shooting them at point-blank range at a restaurant. He then flees the country, after taking care of his father’s business, much like how Vincenzo leaves Italy after Fabio’s death. Michael goes to Sicily, where his father was born, while Vincenzo returns to Korea.

In Sicily, Michael falls in love and gets married to a Sicilian woman named Apollonia. Like Michael, Vincenzo returns to his roots and falls in love with a woman who supports his position as a part of a Mafia Family and accepts him. (Side note, Michael’s marriage is problematic in and of itself, he literally didn’t say a word to Kay about anything, but anyway)

However, back home, there are problems in the family: Sonny is brash and arrogant, and gets killed by the rival family. Just when Michael is informed and asked to come home, Apollonia is also killed in a car bomb. You can imagine why I was concerned for Chayoung’s life at one point of the series before I realized Park Jae-Bum was too good for that.

But here’s where Vincenzo diverges from Michael, and what makes Chayoung superior to Apollonia and Kay’s characters.

Michael goes home a changed person. Apollonia’s and his brother’s deaths are the final nails in the coffin for him: there’s no going back and not taking part in the family business. He is the only option to become the new Don. When he gets back, he gives Kay empty promises about becoming the new Don to make his father’s empire clean and stop the corruption. She believes him and agrees to marry him.

Famously, the last scene of the first movie is Michael being crowned the new Don (people kissing his hand and asking for his favor) as Kay watches from the other room before the door closes in her face. His favorite line to Kay is, “Don’t ask me about my business.” (This scene always gives me chills!!!)

While Michael starts off kind-hearted and open, someone who sees his family’s business as corrupt and unapproachable, Vincenzo is already a hybrid of Michael and Tom when we meet him. It is, as SJK said in his recent interview, an opening and softening of his character: the complete opposite of Michael’s character development.

Apollonia barely has three lines in the movie and barely has any role but to be the woman Michael falls in love with and to represent the idea of him staying in Sicily and not moving back to take over the family. She is an ideal Sicilian wife who understands how the family business works. His American girlfriend Kay, on the other hand, can never accept this Sicilian part of Michael. He shuts the door on her and never lets her in on anything that he’s doing, and eventually, Kay wants no part in the marriage, either.

Chayoung is stronger than Apollonia in that she takes the center stage of Vincenzo’s masterplan. She is allowed more agency and access into Vincenzo’s world than Kay is into Michael’s world, because Vincenzo considers her his partner, while Michael considered Kay to be his subordinate. 

The fact that Vincenzo begins as post-Sicily Michael makes the show so satisfying to watch if you’ve seen The Godfather. Vincenzo is a story where a woman gains power and respect from her Mafia partner, and a man forced into violence and ruthlessness finds someone who accepts that part of him wholeheartedly. The Godfather ultimately ends in heartbreak and tragedy, but Vincenzo’s ending is hopeful and fulfilling for both of our main leads. They have an accepting, powerful love that Michael does not have with anyone.

Betrayals by Brothers

Last one (for now)! In the second movie, Fredo betrays Michael to a rival business partner, which almost leads to his assassination. When he finds out it was him, Michael keeps him alive until their mother passes away before ordering his men to kill him. (Also by now Michael and Kay have two children who are close with Fredo so like rip childhood trauma when your father murders your uncle ahahahahah)

SO ANYWAY this part has haunted me for days. When Paolo betrays Vincenzo the second time, why doesn’t he kill him? Is he waiting for Fabio’s wife to pass away? Does Fabio even have a wife? Did Vincenzo respect her as he respected Fabio? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Or maybe it’s because he’s different from Michael: the second movie confirmed that Michael has become so cold-hearted that he doesn’t think of his family when he makes decisions, whether that’s killing his own brother or divorcing Kay. For Vincenzo, family is the most important thing in the world. For Michael, the Corleone family becomes just a business to run.

In other words, it goes to show that Vincenzo’s worst self-deprecating thought — that villains don’t deserve to love, because love is just an asset to them — is proven wrong for him through his love for Chayoung, the Geumga Plaza Family, and even the Cassano Family, while it is proven right for Michael.

OKAY that’s it for now. Thanks for listening. Literally if you have any questions about the Godfather let me know because I could talk about it for hours.