#‘elevated’ writing aka I’m high

[jin-likes-to-write]

One Before The Road - Eddie Munson One Shot

Contains: cunnilingus/blowjob, p in v sex, daddy kink, dom/sub kink, lace kink, fucked into the bed, mating press, cock worship (if you squint), bratting, fiancée/fiancé and AFAB reader.

It was early morning, it was Eddies favorite time to view her. She looked beautiful in the morning light as she got ready for the morning shift at her job. The way she would pin up her hair, a spritz of White Rain to hold the soft waves of her hair, the morning glow would make her look like an angel.

The things he wanted to do to her right now is not something you would do to an angel. Hell wouldn’t think of it near an angel. But if that made him a sinner and would send him straight to hell he was fine with it.

Oh boy he was getting first class tickets.

Right now, laying on his back on the bed the two of them shared a thin sheet covering his lean frame, one arm tucked behind his head propping him up to view her. Her uniform for her body snuggly, it outlined the ample flesh so tantalizing for him. Slowly Eddie lowered his left hand down his stomach under the blanket fingers grazing over the base of his cock.

He was about to head back out on tour for the last leg of this local tour Corroded Coffin was doing. They had been doing a ten stop tour, the van broke down and they had to finish the last three spots over the weekend somehow. It was stressful to add the van repairs and two shows in one day meaning one show has to be a shitty time slot.

“Hey babes, how about you show daddy how much you’ll miss him this weekend?” Eddie called out, his voice had a seductive undertone that always grabbed her attention no matter what.

She called it his “daddy-dom” voice. Her head snapped around as her bright eyes flashed at him, a smile forming on her lips watching his hand stroking his cock under the blanket.

“I can be a little late.” She teased, as she pulled off the right tank top, the sore excuse of a uniform top.

“Oh baby this won’t be a short session.” Eddie declared as she moved over to the bed pulling back the blanket.

Before I could react, my long term partner had me on the bed picking me up with ease. Eddie Munson looks scrawny and unable to pick up a woman and manhandle her properly in bed but oh boy can he.

And manhandle me, he did.

In a swift movement, Eddie had slid himself down flat on the bed and me on top of him. Letting out a shocked and excited yelp I felt his long, calloused fingers pull down the shorts of my uniform and reveal I wearing lacy underwear.

“Fuck, babes you are wearing that lacy underwear I bought you? God, damn that is so hot, I’m going to eat you out just like that.”

“Wore it just for you Eddie.” I moaned as I settled myself on top of him gently stroking his cock, fanning my breath over the head.

“Excuse me?” Eddie said in a deep, authoritative tone, the cool air that swept over my hot pussy as he spread my legs and ass cheeks a little keeping the underwear on.

“Hmm?” I teased, knowing I was beating him wiggling my ass at him my breasts spilling from the bra I was still wearing.

“Sweetheart.” Eddie warned a hand smacking my right ass cheek cautiously, sending a shiver down my spine my pussy clinching prematurely.

“I wore it just for you Daddy!” I shouted as buried his face between my legs tongue dragging over the laced covered clit.

Eddie was more than skilled with his fingers but his tongue was master class. As his tongue was working my clit I gripped the shaft of his cock a bit firmer, his body twitching under me. Switching the pressure I applies to his shaft as I twisted it up and down the tip of my tongue grazing over the head of his large cock.

Left hand moving down I cupped his balls, squeezing them enjoying the groaned into my pussy as he pressed his face harder against me. Massaging his balls in my left hand I took the head of his cock into my mouth sucking hard.

“Damn you - ah nails damn…so good.” Eddie growled as a hand snaked in between my legs pulling the lace aside as shoved two fingers inside of my pussy brushing his index finger on the left side of my clit.

Letting out a panting whine, my hips gyrating some as his fingers worked my clit along with his tongue. Pushing his cock all the way down my mouth, gagging loudly knowing he enjoys the loud and messy blowjobs. Bobbing my head up and down, spit ropes coming from my lips to the head of his cock as each time I pulled my head up all the way making loud lewd pops.

She continued with the head bobbing up and down, her soft curls catching in the morning glow her lips wrapped around his thick cock, attempting to suck his soul right out of him. And he was all for it. It took a lot for him not to start thrusting up in her pretty mouth, the way the warm tongue moved around his shaft would always send his eyes rolling in the back of his head. She held herself to the base of his cock there was drool pooling down to his balls around her hand that unfurled fingers that pressed against his asshole causing him to whine.

“No one sucks my cock like you my love.” Eddie whined as I pushed an index finger into his ass, slowly pulling up on his cock slowly.

I dragged my lips up his thick cock, sucked as hard as I could as I got to the head releasing it with a loud pop. I pulled my ass away from Eddie, causing him to growl as his hands grabbed my ass pulling me right back to his face.

“I’m the only one sucking this magnificent cock, right daddy?” I questioned as he pushed another finger in and fully into my pussy pushing past the drenched lips.

“Only you my fiancée.” Eddie reaffirmed as his fingers curled up against my g-spot.

“Yes!” I shouted in agreement as my body shook the coiling in my stomach sharpening as an orgasm was close.

Enthusiastically I went back to sucking his cock, slobber drenching his thighs, my face as I gagged several times loudly as I enjoyed the feeling. It felt so good to have his cock force my mouth open wide, the smack into the back of my throat as I heard his groans each time I did. The way his moans and growls would send me reeling, my pussy getting wetter with each angelic sound spilling from his lips this vibrations against my sensitive pussy. Eddie was working his magic with his tongue and fingers, the underwear was drenched now. He started to move his fingers in and out rapidly, his fingers pushing against the right spots not like he didn’t spend the majority of detention last semester learning all the best spots to finger my pussy.

“Eddie! I’m - imma gonna cum!” I barely shouted as my body couldn’t contain the orgasm anymore as his fingers were thrusting into me, the flat of his tongue on my clit.

I had released his cock from my mouth as Eddie lifted me up bodily tossing me onto all fours. Swiftly the wet underwear was pulled down to my knees and Eddie was kneeling behind me.

“That sweet pussy is so fucking drenched.” Eddie groaned as his shoved his cock right in between the wet lips, spreading me right open.

“And tight!” Eddie added shouting as his cock bottom right out against my cervix.

Eddie mounted me, my body was folded up under him as his wiry body covered me as he pounded into me. His thrusts were deep and mind numbing with each smack against my cervix, just fucking me through the first orgasm. His left hand pressing down on the bed above my shoulder pinning me in spot, the morning light shining against his many rings.

I could feel his body press me roughly into the mattress, the slap our bodies colliding as he thrusted into me, spreading me open and filling me up with his girthy cock. Panting and moaning shrilly into the mattress as he continued to fuck me through the orgasm, I could tell he was close the way the vein in this cock was throbbing wildly that brushing against my clit sent my body shaking. He gripped me tight his hands enjoying the soft flesh as he kept up the pace wanting to fuck all thought out of me.

“Just think of how good my cock feels in your tight pussy. The way it just fits around me so perfectly, you are such a good girl taking my cock so deep and so hard.” Eddie whispered in my ear the dirty words spilling from his lips like a waterfall.

“Such a good girl taking Daddy’s cock like a rockstar.”

I wanted to respond, to shout I was a good girl but the ability to even think about speaking was so dazed out from euphoria of his cock pounding into me. All I could manage was squeals and grunts, as my mouth hung open enjoying the feeling of him spreading me open and just using my pussy for his pleasure.

“Ready for me to fill this tight, wet and bewitching cunt full of my cum? Just watch as it drips down your thighs.”

He couldn’t hold himself anymore, Eddie started to thrust erratically from fast and rapid to slow and sensual as he tried to hold a bit longer. Clenching the walls of my pussy tightly around his cock, he let out a breathy whine as it was harder for him to thrust into me as I was gripping so tightly.

“Fuccccckkk!” Eddie growled as he fell over the edge into his orgasm, spurting hot ropes of cum deep inside of me.

“Eddie!” I keened in response orgasming with him, toes curling and eyes rolling.

Short, deep powerful thrusts he emptied all of his cum deep inside of me. Eddie had his face buried into my neck as he breathed in deep ragged breaths as he came down from his high. Both of our bodies did little shakes and twitches as his cock slowly softened inside of me, trickles of cum coming out.

“I’m going to be really late for work.” I giggled after catching my breath.

“You are calling out today, sweetheart I’m bringing you with me on the last bits of this tour.” Eddie said breathlessly, slowly massaging my arms and legs. “Let’s get you in the shower though.”

[s-4pphics]

its christmas morning! (e.w)

omg y’all it’s fucking 4/20 aka my thanksgiving christmas and valentine’s day😳 

wanted to write for my fav pothead for my fav holiday :O ellie ripping bongs has been imprinted on my brain since that scene in the game yall know which one i’m talking about i don't even gotta say it🙄 i am very high rn so if there’s a typo or mistake no!! there’s!! not!! love y’all bye 

wc;cw: 2.7k, oc n ellie r both in college, WEED!!! WEED WEED WEED!!!, 21 savage :p catch it, sexual tension y’all know how i get down, descriptions of sex MDNIIII, dubcon(they’re very high), ellie’s so cute but also a lil mean, hair pulling ;D

“c’moooon dude, just one hit!” ellie said with a wide grin while softly nudging your shoulder with hers, her packed and filled miniature glass bong and lighter sitting on the coffee table in front of the two of you. 

ellie had sent you a text message after you got out of your last class saying it was her favorite fucking holiday so get ur ass over here! you knew she would hate it if you—her main smoking buddy—missed out on the new bud she got from someone on campus, so you packed an overnight bag with four of your own blunts that you rolled for her(you learned that tropical breeze was her favorite flavored wrap during one of your seshes!), and made your way over to her off-campus apartment complex. you knew there was no way you were going to be able to walk home tonight since you planned to get as fried as humanly possible. 

you’d arrived inside her building and scaled the stairs to the third floor before you banged on her door. fuck, you were winded! what’s up with the elevators not working—

a muffled what’s the password?! had come from the other side of the door as you gasped for air. 

“stop playing games, i’m tired!” 

you’d heard her laugh as the door swung open, revealing an already high, smiling ellie: you were immediately hit with the smell of the weed she’d apparently already smoked. she looked so cozy, her black hoodie and gray sweatpants littered her body, her hair in a loose ponytail. you looked down at her giant frog slippers before she broke the silence between you two. 

“it’s christmas morning! welcome to my trap house!” she’d excitedly squealed out, gesturing for you to come in. 

she guided you to her and her roommate’s living room couch as she lit one of the blunts you rolled (and then another one) for you both to share. you felt relaxed after smoking them down, but you told her you needed more, and she was more than willing to give you that. she’d ran to her bedroom and grabbed her trusted friend, as she called the smoking utensil. 

“i’ve never used one of those before.” 

“…are you fuckin’ serious?” ellie asked with wide, red tinted eyes. 

“um, yeah. why would i lie?” you asked blankly.

“that’s not what i meant, you smoke pretty often so i assumed. my bad.” she put her hands up in defense at your tone. 

“you don’t need to apologize,” you said before pausing to look at the bong. it was pretty: it was clear, but there were hints of blue further down the base. it reminds you of the ocean. you stared at it before breaking the silence. 

“what does it feel like?” 

“what? hitting it?” she asked as she nodded towards the bong on the table. 

you nodded at her, and she shrugged before sarcastically answering. 

“it feels like you're smoking,” she said with dramatic jazz hands. 

you pushed her as she laughed, “obviously, bitch! i mean when you're high. people always talk about it hitting way harder than any other pipe.” 

“because it does! you choke hard as fuck if the rip is big but it feels good afterwards. you smoke, you know what i’m talking about. it’s… the peak is just more… intense with bongs? i guess, i don’t know. i can only take like…three or four good hits, not gonna lie.”

you nodded as you listened to her rambles. ellie’s tolerance was definitely higher than yours, but you could hang—which was one of the main reasons she liked to smoke with you. you always felt nervous to hit from a bong because of all of your friends' horror stories. you heard so many variations of how hard they greened out the first couple of times they did it, and though you’d never admit it to anyone, their experiences freaked you out. you always smoked weed to relax and sleep, not see god. 

“…hm.” 

“what?” ellie smirked at you when she heard your acknowledgement. 

you were looking at the bong intensely as you imagined what your high would be like if you were to smoke out of one: you’d be so embarrassed if ellie was forced to talk you down from a bad trip because you didn’t know your limits. but the mention of its intensity intrigued you. how intense would it be? would you be able to move? think? 

“you wanna hit it and see what happens?” 

her quiet voice caught your attention. you looked to your right and… oh. she was really close to you. when did she get so close? 

“…yeah.” 

you were now sitting criss crossed on the couch as ellie faced you, packed, water-filled bong and lighter in hand. 

“hitting is pretty easy, but your throat burns like crazy. this is my smallest one, but… yeah, it might choke you.” 

“‘s fine.” 

she hummed in acknowledgment before she said, “i’ll go first just so you can see.” 

you nodded as you watched her put her lips at the opening of the tube. she lit her lighter and circled her flame around the bud-stocked bowl, igniting the flower as smoke slowly began to fill the base of the bong. 

when she was satisfied with the rip, she detached the bowl from the stem and sucked in the smoke, exhaling a large cloud away from your face. she cleared her throat as she passed it to you, “see? easy.” 

you took the bong and lighter from her hands and inspected it. you heard her snort from in front of you, meeting her eyes as you looked up. “it’s not gonna bite you, dude.” 

“i fucking know that,” you said with a soft glare, making her laugh harder. 

she reached over towards the coffee table and grabbed the small baggie of your rolled blunts. she took one out and grabbed another lighter out of her hoodie pocket, lighting the end and puffed on it to ignite the weed. she hadn’t noticed that you’d been watching her the whole time with an intense gaze. 

she finally looked up at you and nodded at your occupied hands. “you gonna hit it?” 

fuck. yeah, you were. you were. you nodded hard. she mumbled out a soft you don’t have to, but you shook your head at her, yes, you do! 

you brought the opening towards your lips and looked at her for approval, earning a small nod as she exhaled her own smoke and smiling, “carry on, young pupil.” 

you lightly kicked your knee against hers, earning a soft laugh. you took a deep breath before igniting the bowl and watched smoke fill the base. you weren’t sure how long you should wait before you took a rip, so you met her eyes again, awaiting instruction. 

“you don’t need to smoke all of that. ‘s a lot.” she advised, slurring slightly, smoke pooling out of her nose as she spoke. you didn’t listen, though. 

you removed the bowl as she did, and sucked in all of it. you breathed out and instantly started coughing up both of your lungs as she laughed, grabbing you a water from the table, opening it, and passing it to you. you dropped the lighter and exchanged the large pipe for the water in her hand. “fuckin’ idiot, i told you not to.” 

you choked harder as tears flooded your eyes, but even in your time of weakness, you flipped her off. she giggled before pretending to bite it off. 

as your coughing eased, you slowly sipped from your bottle and wiped the tears off your cheeks. “bro, what the fuck.” you said dryly, sipping more water. 

she laughed hard at you as she lit and ripped from the bong again. 

some time passed and you were starting to feel… something different as you came up. you knew you were going to peak soon, but the lift was coming in much harder. much faster. it was making you a bit antsy. 

ellie must’ve noticed your unfocused looks around her living room because she aligned her eyes with yours and whispered out a hey. 

“hi… i think i feel… feel it,” you whispered back, a slight shakiness to your voice. 

“okay. want me to turn some music on?” and you nodded before she could even finish her gentle proposal. you watched her every move as she got up and swiftly made her way over to the kitchen, turning on her speaker. “what you wanna listen to?” 

“g-glock in my lap.” 

“everywhere i’m strapped,” she said as she mimed jerking off with her tongue out. she's so gross… why was it getting you hot? 

she busted out laughing at her own joke before she played it, queueing her own list of songs before returning back to the couch to get in her previous position. 

“what’s your craziest weed story?” you asked the minute she sat down, cutting mumbling of the lyrics off. 

“craziest weed story?” she asked softly as she reignited her stubbed out blunt. 

“bong story. craziest bong story,” you corrected yourself slurrily. oh, this shit was hitting. 

she huffed out a laugh before talking. “…i don’t know if you wanna hear that right now.” 

“why? was it that bad?” 

“it was the exact opposite actually.” she corrected softly. had she leaned a bit closer to you? you couldn’t tell. 

“one of the best highs of my life, to be honest. wish i could go back to that day and just to feel it again.” 

“what happened?” 

she was silent for a moment, looking into your eyes with an intense gaze. 

“i… i met this girl on hinge— don’t fucking laugh!” she said as she smiled. 

it made you laugh harder. “i’m not—i’m not trying to, i promise!” 

she rolled her eyes as she continued. “anyway, we linked up after talking for a bit, and she told me she wanted to match. i drove hours to see her, she was so fuckin’ hot.” 

you hummed as she continued, giggles completely forgotten as your vision tunneled in on her. “so, we meet and we go up to her room. i think… her roommate had company over or something, it was really noisy when i walked in. anyway, we spark up, we’re smoking, and she’s just like hit my bong with me!, and i said sure.” 

you’d been watching her lips move the entire time she was talking. she’d been biting and licking them as she reminisced while hitting the blunt, and it was making your body hot. 

“she hit it first and passed it to me, and i’m like… what the fuck do i do with this contraption? like, you have to understand that it wasn’t a bong like mine. it was wide and long as fuck and the rips were huge. anyway, she showed me but… she was so close to me. like this.”

she leaned closer to you, your noses almost touching. your breathing picked up. “she was just talking me through the first hit, light this, pull that, y’know.” 

to be frank, you didn’t give a shit about this story at all, but you would listen to it over and over again if it meant she’d be this close to your face—

“and sex while high feels so fucking good—“

“huh?” 

“what?” 

“who had sex while high?” 

“… me‘n my hinge date.” 

she squinted her eyes at you before she grinned. “were you listening?” 

“yup.” 

“right.” she said as she cheesed. 

there was silence as you both looked at each other, but she inched a little closer to you and whispered. “wanna know a secret?” 

you nodded instantly. anything anything—

“she made me cum really hard after i hit her bong, like i went completely brain dead.” 

and you sucked in a sharp breath at her little secret before saying, “i’m sure…” 

“you’re sure?” 

“yeah.” 

she nodded at you, passing you the blunt she'd been nursing before she scooted back to reach for her bong and lighter off the table. she hit it again and you watched. you watched her so closely. 

“what’d she do?” you asked as you took a bold hit before stubbing it out on the ashtray on the table.

“who? m’date?” she asked as she blew another cloud away from you. 

you nodded much harder than you should’ve, but you were so curious. 

she smiled at you before elaborating, “so… i hit it, i’m choking hard as fuck, but she’s handing me water and rubbing my back and all of that shit.” 

“i finally calmed down, and we both laid down on her bed, we’re like… facing each other,” she explained, trying to demonstrate their movements through her occupied hands. 

remember when you said you didn’t give a shit about this story? you did. you really did. 

“she just starts… rubbing on my arm and stuff. like barely, but i feel it, and i start relaxing. like… it feels like i’m sinking into her bed. she starts telling me how cute i am and whatever and then… she just kisses me. it’s real cute at first,” she said with a gentle grin. 

“but she… she grabs my hips and pulls me closer… i can’t even remember what happened but i end up on my back and she’s eating me out and fingering me,” she’d been looking off into the distance throughout the whole story, but reconnects her eyes with yours, and they slowly drift down to your lips and you want to kiss her so fucking bad—

“when i came, i kinda just… blacked out, i felt like my brain was gonna come out my ears…like, in a puddle or somethin’ crazy,” she had the audacity to giggle at her statement. she didn’t even care about how wet her story just made you, how rude! 

“…but yeah,” she mumbled and nodded, suddenly averting her gaze from your mouth. she leaned towards the bong in her hand, lighting and ripping from it again.

instead of politely blowing the smoke away from your face like she’d been doing, she held eye contact and blew the cloud towards you, and you breathed it in like you wished to breathe her in. she reached to the side to place the pipe and lighter back on her table and looked down at your twitching hands before she asked, “you okay?” 

you nodded slowly and dazed, slowly blinking at her, and she smirked as she leaned closer to you again. this was the closest she’s been to your face, and all you could do was study her. memorize every detail on her face. she's so, so pretty. 

“ellie.” 

“yeah?” she breathed out and you barely heard it. 

“kiss me.” you replied just as quietly. 

she licked her lips again as she looked down at yours. you were nearly panting like a dog and you could tell she was getting off to your desperation by the smirk on her face. 

you leaned closer to her in attempts to close the distance, but ellie moved away before you could. 

so you tried again. 

and she moved away again. and then she leaned back onto her propped elbows, one of her knees bent up. 

“c’mere.” 

you moved before you could think, shifting onto your wobbly knees to crawl on top of her, your hands on either side of her head as she straightened her legs out so you could straddle her waist.

you felt her warm hands grab your hips to squeeze them. you placed your weight on both your elbows and leaned down so you could finally kiss her. you want a kiss! you want a kiss now! 

your head was yanked back before you could connect your lips to hers, and you let out a shocked, wet gasp as you grinded down on her impulsively. you want more more more—

she snorted at your reaction before bringing her mouth up to your ear to whisper, “i want another hit.” 

her hand loosened in your hair as you watched her laugh at you with her head thrown back, a shocked expression on your face. no way she just played you like that!

“fuck you,” you said with an embarrassed pout as you sat up and moved off her lap, sitting the farthest away from her as you could. 

“i know you want to, hand me that lighter,” she said, nodding her head towards the table while giggling. 

you grabbed and threw it at her chest, making her laugh louder. 

hahaaaa i gotchu yall thought they were gonna fuck? SIKE but omg yall make sure to get high byeee

[the-bitter-ocean]

oceaaaannn hiii! let's go with 3, 5, and 15 for the isat ask game c:

(MAJOR A6SE / 2HATS SPOILERS + FULL GAME SPOILERS AHOY) Thank you for the questions @dekupalace ! Since I’m going to be talking more in depth about the game for one of these questions I’m going to put my responses under a read more:

3- favorite soundtrack?

Oh god that’s such a hard question the whole game has certified bangers. The musicians at Studio Thumpy Puppy were not messing around or pulling any punches. The soundtrack of the game elevates literally every emotional beat. If I was forced to choose only one song out of the soundtrack my favorite track in the whole game has to be “How Can You Help Me, Stardust?” aka the theme that plays when you fight Loop at the Favor tree during act six. Hearing that for the first time while getting the full context of loop’s backstory made me go crazy. It was so fucking emotional and well done. That and it’s just objectively a super intense high energy song that makes me wanna dance around. If anyone deserves the coolest fight theme in the game, it’s Loop.

5- favorite optional event?

Ooh this is also a hard one! I adore a lot of the optional story events because each of them really shed light on Siffrin’s mental state /characterization, as well as gives depth to other aspects like the other character of the world building as a whole which strengthens the themes of the story. Aside from the obvious choice (2Hats Ending/ Act six loop encounter) I think my favorite optional event would have to be the “Who Was Phone” achievement (Change God event). There’s something so fascinating about learning about the Change God. Someone who clearly adores their certified little guy (Mirabelle) and is willing to offer words of kindness and assurance in her identity even if it knows she won’t remember in one instance..and then in the very same breath tell Siffrin that they enjoy watching Siffrin in the timeloop torment nexus because they’re curious to see how they change in a situation where everything is forced to stagnate. It was so genuinely fucked. I will think about it always forever.

15- anything you’d change about the game? be it game mechanics, a new feature, a change in plot, etc

Overall I’m pretty satisfied with the game both in story and gameplay actually. I think Adrienne did a good job writing and expanding on the characters and story that was set up in the prologue. The quality of life in terms of gameplay got improved since the previous game as well ( those who played the prologue can attest to this) . The fact that it was a in universe story reason as to why makes it all the more satisfying (if you want to know what I mean by that please read my mutuals @felikatze analysis about it here.)

I just am happy that Siffrin got to be happy in the end and stay with their family, to be able to talk things out and escape the loops. I know some people didn’t like that or expected a more darker/sadder ending or wanted the gameplay to be more challenging … my response to that is Literally Just Play Start Again: A Prologue. To me it would be extremely reductive to have Siffrin just suffer with no reprieve or escape from the loops (because that’s just a repeat of what happened in its predecessor) or have the group just split off from each other immediately after everything happened. It would have been extremely unsatisfying and ultimately missing the point of the themes of the game as a whole gonna be real lol.

The only things I’d maybe change or add is like it would’ve been cute to see Euphrasie and Claude be together/ reunite on screen in act 6. They should kiss. Lol. (That and just I would’ve personally loved to see Euphrasie in canon expanded on a little more but that’s not necessarily needed she serves her purpose in the narrative. I just like analyzing her and giving her more depth and I like when others do too, but that’s what fanart/ fics and aus are for so I’m not fussed.) 

I don’t mind that the game is sort of open ended and doesn’t answer all the questions. I think that gives artists, fanfic writers, Au makers and people who like to analyze the game more freedom to come up with their own interpretations for things that happened in pre canon and post canon which to me is more interesting. I know Loop disappearing at the end of the game in both endings is sad/ bittersweet but I wouldn’t necessarily change the way that was structured either. I like that their fate was ambiguous because it leads the viewer to come up with their own theories as to where they went. ( personally I love seeing stuff where loop gets to travel on their own and form a new life and identity outside of the loops and learn to heal, as well as post game getting to meet back up with the party and learn to navigate this new life/ change one step at a time. )

[fauxkaren]

Guardian: The Lonely and Great God (aka Goblin) - 8/10

This was one of THEE most popular and most watched dramas of all time, so of course I had to watch it eventually! And honestly, I get it. I get why it had the public in its grip. It’s got a great OST. The actors are all charming af. There is a great balance of humor and drama. I think it’s a really solid drama. However, I’m not sure they managed to stick the landing. The last 3 episodes were kinda ???? for me.

Right. So. This is a modern fantasy drama. The central plot revolves around a goblin- a god of luck and wishes. He was turned into a goblin after his death circa 900 years previously when he. a successful general, was killed on the orders of the king. God resurrected him and he is cursed with immortality until the goblin bride is born because she is the only one who can remove the sword the pierces his heart and return him to nothingness. So that is the main conflict of the show, but there are other secondary conflicts related to past lives and how the goblin was originally killed. Plus, the goblin ends up being roommates with a grim reaper and it is PEAK comedy.

Even though I suspect the main draw for most people is the high drama romance and tragedy of it all, for me, the highlight was the Odd Couple roommate hijinks/reluctant friendship between the Goblin and the Grim Reaper. I know it’s cheap laughs, but all of their cellphone use wackiness legit cracked me up. I found the relationship between the Goblin and the Grim Reaper to be the most complicated and compelling relationship in the show.

Idk how unpopular this take is, but I was waaaaay more invested in the secondary romance than the main one. The main one is... hm. It’s cute enough and like, at least EunTak is a senior in high school when a centuries old immortal being starts creeping on her vs Buffy where she was a freshman when Angel started. lmao. But it’s still... idk. There’s obviously such a maturity gap there that it’s... it makes me feel a bit weird. So as a result, I was WAY more into the secondary romance. Possibly because Lee DongWook is SUCH an emotive actor, goddamn. Those silent tears? STABBED ME IN MY HEART.

So yeah, overall, enjoyed the show a lot. The actors really elevated the writing, imo. And it was just a good vibe of a show. I think it had some flaws though that stopped me from being 100% in love with the show, but I still really liked it and would recommend!

[inkblot-inc]

Rough Cut Diamonds

Summary: Wanda Maximoff; one of the biggest names in designer jewelry and high fashion, has to stoop down to a level she probably would never have gone herself as she stops by a metal shop to hopefully get a gift done for a friend. While there, she meets R, a metalworker with exceptional skill that might just earn Wanda's respect…and something else.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

[Everything else in the RCD Universe]

Warning(s): There’s smut so 18+ ONLY aka MINORS DNI, oral sex (Wanda recieving), strap-on use (r giving), other than that what else?... I mean there’s most likely language in there, but coming from me you shouldn’t be surprised if there is-

Note(s): So like, Jeweler!Wanda only makes sense to me when thinking of occupations, that paired with a Metalworker!Reader could make for an interesting dynamic. That’s really all it took for me to write this thing, so here's a Pilot. There’s actually a few other characters mentioned here. Maybe I’ll write more for this AU of sorts, but anyways, hope you enjoy :3

Word Count: A good bit past 4.2k

*squints* I give NO ONE permission to repost or translate my work. Make your own shit

Wanda Maximoff, CEO of Maximoff Jewelers. One of the biggest names in designer and fashion jewelry.

Maximoff would be one of the first names said by the everyday person, mentioned among Gumuchian and David Yurman. Your Cartier’s and Bulgari’s, if you will. A staggering feat for what started as a home company based in New York.

While Wanda Maximoff herself is known for her solid presence and upper echelon beauty, her trademark look is her hands: always adorned with her own rings. A mix of her “rookie creations” and her favorite pieces from her line releases.

In our interview with Wanda Maximoff for the March Editor's Choice Article, Maximoff readily said that she has worked to master her craft and artistry for just over a decade, and that her work thrives off of her ambition. Her own distinct engravings and designs are handcrafted with custom soldering tools and specially imported metals from all over.

Maximoff jewelry designs are a rather alluring mix of gothic academia with usage of stones reminiscent of the Renaissance era. There's no need to wonder why Maximoff Jewelers is one of the most lucrative brands in our time-

"And why every person from fashion forward sons to best friends with shockingly good taste want a sneak peak at the Redeemer line set to release before the end of the year!"

Wanda snatched the magazine from her friend's hands. "Enough already, I've got enough of that from Monica." She took a sip from her freshly brewed coffee while she looked through her work notes. There was an upcoming sponsor deal to hash out and get meetings settled in for the following week. And today was simply a maintenance day squeezed into her usual work week.

Kate looked up in the middle of getting her own bag together for work. “Are we still on for lunch this afternoon?” 

Wanda grabbed her thermos of coffee as she thought over her schedule. “Mm, I should be free around two o’clock-ish. It really depends on how the timing shakes out.”

Wanda only heard the brunette give a small hum at her answer as she followed her out of the apartment. “You kept the first week of April free though, right?”

The two women left Kate’s apartment to make their way to the elevator, Wanda reaching said elevator first. “I didn’t forget about your birthday, Kate. You’ve made it impossible for me to, anyway.”

Kate got in after Wanda held the elevator door open for her. “I’m just saying, I’ve seen nary a suspicious anonymous online purchase or shifty bag movement. There was nothing I liked in your trunk either.”

Wanda merely raised a brow as she listened to the brunette ramble on. “Well, aside from breaking into my vehicle, I guess you’re not as good at being nosy as you think you are,”

Kate let out a fake gasp, both of them stepping out after reaching the ground floor. “How dare! I’m going to find out one way or another, Wands. You will not be immune!”

Wanda stopped once they reached the lobby to root through her bag for her car keys. “Mhm, gotcha. Are you done?”

“Eh, enough. Have a good day at work!” Kate burst out of the front doors to the apartment building as she walked the opposite way to her job.

Wanda briefly chuckled to herself as she reached her car. Getting in, she started it up and set her bag in the passenger seat.

She took a moment before she reached for the glove box. Behind important envelopes and documents inside was a nondescript tote bag. More documents and such were inside, but laying at the bottom (presumably due to its weight) was the broken hilt of a sword.

“Thankfully you weren't nosy enough, Bishop.”

—---------

You run a workshop just off the strip not too far from Wanda’s penthouse apartment.

You do a bit of everything, all it takes is an idea or commission really. You’ve made ornaments, sculptures, some abstract work, zippo lighters, and even a few weapons…for display of course.

You’ve been doing metalwork for as long as you can remember, even started working in highschool. Your mentor Logan is a bit of a hard ass, but his biggest rule is to make quality shit because “Your work is an extension of you”. He also said to keep protection on you in and out of the workshop.

A wise man indeed…

It was late in the afternoon with only about an hour and a half till closing. You spent most of the day doing independent projects that you would wind up selling online later on. With Cable out of the shop, you currently took to manning the Maker’s Damned aux cord when you heard the bell above the entrance door jingle…

Wanda remembered there was a metal shop around her place somewhere before coming across “The Maker’s Damned”. Walking into the shop she almost felt itchy. She was hit with the immediate temperature difference, accompanied with the telltale citrus scent of cleaning fluid. Wanda hadn’t been in a shop like this probably since she was just a teenager back home in Sokovia. Danko’s shop wasn’t much smaller in comparison to this though.

While Wanda could see the wear and tear of the place, it still managed to feel homey in a way that she couldn’t really turn her nose up at it.

“Something I can help you with, miss?”

Turning toward the sudden voice Wanda met eyes with you. She was then reminded why she was here in the first place with the weight of a broken sword in the bag she brought.

Clearing her throat, Wanda opened the bag for you to see. “I wanted to see if I could get this piece fixed for a friend.”

You quirked an eyebrow at the item in the bag. “A sword?”

Wanda opened the bag wider for you to see. “Yes, it’s supposed to be a replica of the Ronin sword,”

“I love those movies!” Your eyes lit up in recognition of the design, except the blade was broken inside the sheath.

Wanda’s eyes held a bit of mirth as she looked at you, “Of course you do.” 

You almost reach your hands out to take a closer look, “May I?”

Wanda nodded, holding the bag open as you grabbed the pieces. You noticed all the rings on her hands as a few of them caught the light.

You listened as Wanda told you about her good friend Kate’s birthday that was coming up and the girl had been complaining about how her dog Lucky knocked over her “baby” and needed to get it fixed.

Now, why exactly Kate insisted on having a sword as a centerpiece in her apartment is something Wanda didn’t even want to begin questioning, but here she was…

Assessing the damage, you look up at the well-dressed woman. “I can work with this if you feel like, miss…”

“Wanda. Just Wanda is fine…Skitch?”

You chuckle as you see her squint trying to read your name patch. “Yeah, it’s Y/n. It’s Skitch in the shop. If you’ll follow me, I can start looking at the sword at my station."

It wasn’t that you didn’t know who Wanda was, it’s just a matter of being professional.

Both of you made your way toward the back of the workshop, passing other metalworkers busy with their own projects.

“It is an active environment and most of these guys are messy, so just make sure you watch where you step.”

The Maker’s Damned is definitely different from her own workspace. The idle chatter mixed with classics playing on the stereo made the atmosphere casual, light. There were more divots and uneven grooves in the epoxy floors than Wanda was used to, but it wasn’t cumbersome.

Both of you reach your labeled workstation. It’s relatively tidy and you shuffle away some scattered blueprints to make room for the sword on the table before sitting down in your desk chair.

“Normally I’d have you see Nathan to get a price estimate for the job, but he’s gone out for parts, so you get my eval,” You look back and meet Wanda’s eyes for a good second.

‘God she’s pretty. Shut up, you gotta focus.’

As you get to examining the replica, Wanda looks you up and down. The sleeves of your welding shacket rolled up to the elbows, fitting snug around your biceps as you manage to free the broken blade from the sheath in one piece and set it next to the hilt.

Her eyes dart back up when you turn to face her. “How much did your friend pay for this initially?”

Wanda shrugged, “Something like six thousand dollars or so. It’s an authentic replica,”

You purse your lips as you eyed the hilt. “They got skimmed on that authentic bit,” You gave a firm shake to the hilt and showed her the thin piece of metal that fell out. “That’s a push tang.”

You watched her brows furrow. “Is there something wrong with it or? -”

“There shouldn’t be one at all. Ronin's sword was made to be retractable. There’s not a single rotation mechanism or spring mechanic in this thing.”

Though Wanda was amused, she scoffed, “Well I’m sure she knew that when she bought it. Retractable swords don’t actually exist.”

You tossed your head back and forth a bit before settling on a smirk. “Challenge accepted.”

Wanda gave a smile of her own as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You realize that you’re making more work for yourself. You could just repair it as it was.”

It was a test of some sort you realize, but you respond honestly, “I’ve got no problem with that. If I succeed, I guess I’ll just be the first. Plus, I’m a Ronin fan.”

You shrug as you spin your chair to fully face Wanda, the view tilting your head up at her as Wanda comes a bit closer. “And what about the price?”

You give yourself a second to try and think as you feel the cool metal of the jewelry on her hands meeting your shoulder and resting there. “Well, the original price was fifteen hundred. Considering that the material’s all here and with the quality of the piece I'm working with, I'm simply not gonna reforge this... It’s supposed to be a gift you said? I’m sure we can work a discount out with that.” You eye the hand on your shoulder as she gave it a brief squeeze before it returned to her side.

You’d both talked it over from there as you told Wanda that you should have the sword ready to go by the end of the week, it only being Tuesday, the idea for improvements already whirring around.

There was a noticeable tension by the time she left your workshop, a subtle sway in her hips and your personal number between her fingers on the card you gave her. You’d be seeing her in three days, so it was time to get to work.

-----

It was a busy week for Wanda at the manufacturing building, but production is still moving smoothly in preparation for the upcoming release of her Redeemer Collection in a few weeks' time.

As Wanda drove down the busy streets, she couldn’t help but feel a bit giddy. Today she’d come in to pick up and pay for the Ronin replica and see you again. She hadn’t used the number you gave her, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t think about it…Or you. Quite the opposite actually.

Kate noticed the difference in her mood when they met up again after she left her building for the day. As the next head of a security company, Kate picked up on just about everything that wasn’t related to herself. After a good bit of pestering, Wanda eventually admitted that she’d run into someone that she’d taken a liking to a few days ago. The jeweler left out a lot of the details of how the two of you met, only that she’d chatted with someone while at work. Any more and Kate would get too curious for her own good.

Wanda parked curbside and took her heels off to change into a pair of flats that she kept inside before getting out. It was clear and sunny, great weather for the weekend. She put on her sunglasses as she made her way down the strip, looking upward to catch the workshop sign.

Making her way inside, Wanda was more relaxed than last time as she was greeted with the sound of Foo Fighters and the continuous clang of metal. She found you easily.

You’d foregone the longsleeve for a gray wife beater, inked arms on display with a visible sheen. Wanda observed you for a bit as you were in a conversation with an older man dressed similarly. Practically feeling eyes on you, your head turned to meet Wanda’s stare, a quick smile forming at seeing her.

You excused yourself as you made your way over to Wanda, taking her in as well.

“Miss Maximoff, ‘afternoon.”

Wanda gave a quick laugh through her nose, “Please I just spent the last few hours being called ‘miss Maximoff’, no more for the day.”

“Alright I’ll drop it. Just wanted to be courteous.” There’s a playful smirk on your face as you watch her move her sunglasses up onto her head.

You catch your tongue between your teeth for a second before nodding toward the back. “Come on, I’ll show you the blade then.”

The two of you took the familiar path to the back before going past all the workstations. Idle chatter in between, a few stolen glances here and there. You used your key to unlock the door to your back office, holding the door open to let her pass through first.

You just went through yourself when you hear a voice boom from not too far away. “Remember what I said Skitch! I don’t need Hank on my ass ‘bout noise, you hear?!”

You could feel a bit of heat bloom on your cheeks, “Yuh huh Boss! I better not hear shit when Jean comes to drop off your lunch either!”

You only heard his gruff laugh in response before closing the door in place. “And for what, man?” mumbling to yourself, you made your way over to the closet with all your finished projects, checking the different labels for the sword. Peeking out, you saw Wanda looking around your office. There were custom designs and blueprints hung up, A few pictures of you with some of the other faces Wanda can recall seeing around the shop. Now that she was paying attention, it was also cleaner than she expected for a metal junky, the smell of cutting fluid and cleanser was noticeably lighter.

“Here it is,” You pulled what was the handle of the ronin sword out to display.

Wanda came a bit closer with her arms crossed. “And this blade is supposed to…pop out, and pop back in?”

She’s seen Ronin before, how could she not? One of her closest friends is the star of the franchise. But it was made with fictional tech in a world of fiction. By all accounts, a real retractable sword is impossible…

Or it was anyway.

Wanda watched as you took a step back before pressing a button you must have installed on the handle’ side. Next thing Wanda knew, there was a blade in the place of the empty space occupying the hilt.

You playfully bounced your eyebrows as you looked at the blade, it held up extremely well. You grabbed a blank piece of scrap paper and held it out and upward before running the edge of the blade across it, easily slicing through it with no effort. A testament to how well the sword was sharpened.

With another press of the button, the blade hid itself away back in the Habaki with no fuss. The last few sleep-deficient nights had been worth it.

You had a wide grin as you looked to Wanda, who looked every bit as impressed as you felt with yourself. “Now that’s what I like to see huh!”

Wanda conceded a mini round of applause as she went to lean on the edge of your desk. She watched you test it a few more times with some practice swings. “I stand corrected. I have to say I’m vastly impressed Y/n,” She kept a small smile on her face as you continued to admire your handiwork before carefully setting the hidden blade in a custom case. You explained how the sheath was virtually useless now that the blade could retract itself and how you repurposed the material to make a case for the blade instead.

You walked over and presented the sturdy sword case to her on your office desk. “Making the impossible possible baby,”

Your eyes met once again, and you catch Wanda’s eyes dart down without care for getting caught.

“So how much do I owe you?”

You both could feel that same growing tension in spite of the honest avenue of conversation.

“I’d say a thousand even.”

Wanda was taken aback, “That’s more than generous of you Y/n. I don’t mind paying full price; you basically remade the entire sword. It’s probably even worth more than the original six thousand now,”

While moving to gather up the bag the sword came in, you looked over to Wanda flashing a quick smile. “Nah it’s fine, really. This is still classified as a simple repair job after all, plus it was a good challenge. I may wanna get paid but that’s what paychecks are for right? Consider it…Special commission. Respects for another Ronin fan, a favor for a beautiful woman even.”

Placing the sword off to the side, Wanda ran her hands down your arm and over your bicep.

Looking up at you, Wanda’s eyes were a much darker, almost velvet green. “I’m sure we can make that work.”

She brought you closer and your lips crashed together in a kiss that was pent up and hungry, first being a clashing of tongue and teeth before your making out boiled down to something more sensual, like a low rumbling fire and tossing coals. You rested your hands on either side of Wanda on the desk, enclosing her between your arms. Separating briefly to look at you, her pupils were blown out and you wouldn’t doubt that yours were as well.

As you both continued to make out with the addition of wandering hands, you felt Wanda grip the top of your waistband before running her hand over the bulge in your work pants.

“Mm, I want to say this is pretty presumptuous of you,” there was a small upturn to Wanda’s lips as she raised a brow at you.

You merely cocked your head to the side as you appeared to give it thought. “Presumptuous? Maybe. I like the word ‘Prepared’ better. And I always am,”

Leaning forward, you captured Wanda’s lips again before moving to kiss across her jaw to her neck right by her pulse point. "I'd say you're presumptuous though," You bring your hand up and push a hand under the fabric of her top, simply caressing the skin.

"Lookin' this good at the end of the day, what're you doin'? Feels like you're teasin' me almost,"

With your other hand fiddling with the buttons of Wanda’s blouse, you laid light kisses on her newly exposed shoulder and collar bone. You continue, sliding the fabric off to pool around her waist.

"Do you think so?"

Wanda’s breath hitched as her hand kept a hold of the back of your neck as you continued your ministrations and moved lower, becoming preoccupied with her breasts as you licked and sucked. The seemingly constant contrast of her warm skin and cool rings sent you into a bit of a stir as she urged you lower.

Pulling you away from her chest, you looked up to meet her eyes.

“You know that’s not where I need you.”

The blunt statement had you welcoming the pressure pushing you down to your knees, becoming eye level with Wanda’s thighs.

Because you did know where she needed you.

Where she wanted you.

Pulling down her jeans, you left a few kisses along her hip bone as you pulled down her underwear.

You almost feel your mouth begin to water at the sight of Wanda’s exposed pussy. Quickly running your tongue over your bottom lip, you lower your head to lick a stripe over her entrance before lightly sucking her clit into your mouth.

"Right there, baby. Mhm,"

Wanda’s hips buck and spasm into your face as she takes as much pleasure you’re willing to give. Her moans and whimpers are a welcome compliment as one of her hands keeps hold of the back of your head.

You bring a finger up to slide into Wanda, keeping a quick rhythm as you double your efforts on her clit. You feel Wanda's fingers clench in your hair.

"Oh- fuck,"

When Wanda reaches her orgasm, you take all of her as her juices flow into your mouth. Your movements are less feverish as you clean her up. Wanda helps pull you back up to meet her, her hand resting on your chin.

There’s a light smile on your lips as you watch her chest heave slightly.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Wanda gives a quick laugh through her nose in response as she meets your eyes. “Certainly, but we’re far from done here.”

She makes quick work of undoing your belt as you push your pants down revealing your strap on. You take it in your hand as you run the toy along her entrance, getting it wet with her slick. You press kisses to the underside of Wanda’s jaw, nipping by her ear as you push into her, and your hands rest flat on desk as you set a steady pace.

You watch, almost breathless as your cock moves in and out of Wanda, already coated in her juices. "God, you're taking me so well, Wands."

Wanda’s arms rest over your shoulders as her hands grasp the back of your shirt. "Fuck, yes! Right there, Y/n!"

Speeding up, you cover Wanda’s body with your own as you fuck her into the desk. Chasing your own release, you go harder while bringing a hand to Wanda’s hip and pulling her to meet your thrusts with your own grunts following your orgasm.

Wanda cries out as she releases on your strap on and you slow down to help ride out both or your highs, savoring the sweet resistance you meet with Wanda’s pussy as you continue to slide out and in. Your forehead rests on wanda’s as you continue the languid pace, breathing in each other.

-----

Buckling your jeans back up you looked over at Wanda, who was fixing her blouse in the small mirror on your desk. “Y’know I was kinda upset you didn’t call me earlier this week. Could’ve figured details out over say, dinner…”

Wanda looked over her shoulder before turning to you and tucking your wife beater back in your jeans for you. “Well I knew I’d be able to pay for it no matter the cost…And I knew that I was going to see you again, so there was no need to worry about it.”

Fighting a smile, you took one of Wanda’s hands in your own, running your thumb over her knuckles lightly. “What if I still wanted to do that dinner thing tho? Go all in for reservations or just head down to Bravo’s and pick up a pie, eat in at my place,”

After finishing up fixing yourselves, you both made your way back to the front of the shop, you could see the sun starting to set through the window. You decided to walk with Wanda down the street to her car as well.

Opening her car door Wanda turned and gave you a quick peck on the cheek before getting in, rolling her window down afterward. “I’d say that you’ve got a date on your hands there Y/n. Pick me up at, say, five o’clock tomorrow?”

You leaned down to be eye level with her as she started her car up, your arms lightly resting on the window ledge. “And where would I pick you up?”

Her head turned to face you, “We can figure out the details over the phone.”

With a smirk, you stood up straight keeping eye contact with Wanda. “I look forward to your call then.” You watched as Wanda gave you a wave before pulling out onto the street and driving away.

Going back into the workshop, Logan was still in his office, but everyone else went home for the day. You were helping close up, so you got to putting away the power tools and sweeping up debris.

The small smile refusing to leave your face all the while.

You were just about done when your phone buzzed in your pocket. Checking the notification to see an unknown number, you read the text that popped up on your lock screen.

-@ Attica Suites on xxx street, top floor. This is Wanda btw-

You finished putting away the cleaning supplies before you went to respond.

-Y: Alright, got it-

Not even a full minute passed before your phone buzzed again

-W: So when will you be over?-

-Y: For tmr? Probably closer to 4:50-

-W: I meant for tonight, I wanna know if I should leave the door unlocked or not-

Your eyes widened at the text before looking up at the clock hanging on the wall, it was quarter past six. You were closing up early for the weekend anyhow…

You quickly knocked and popped your head into Logan’s office before telling him the shop was ready for lock up. He gave you a gruff response while looking over his papers as you ducked back out.

Getting your jacket from your office and checking your pockets for your key ring you all but sprinted to your truck out back, typing back a response to Wanda while dodging a bin.

-Y: Omw, be there in 20-

[absolutebl]

hi! your blog has been so helpful as i’ve gotten (well, fell) into BL this year! i’ve been trying a bit of everything, and originally thought that i’d only really like high heat shows, as physical chemistry is key to me when it comes to liking a pair or show.

however, i’m starting to realize that physical chemistry isn’t necessarily codependent on higher heat for me, it’s more about the tension and the few moments it does happen, it truly elevates the storyline in an emotional way. so i’ve been branching out more based on some of your recs, and that brings me to the two things i am currently screaming about:

1. old fashioned cupcake, holy shit. i could go on forever about what this means as someone discovering queerness later than my friends. but the sensual food imagery and pure want of togawa just hit it out of the park for me. and of course the desperation of the kiss and casually putting your thumb in your boss’ mouth.

2. the main reason im writing you this ask: i just finished the confession scene in Light on Me (when shin woo’s texts all come through, the “i’ll continue to think about you”) and i can’t lie i teared up. your recommendation post put me on it as i loved your descriptions of the directing and the chemistry of the love triangle. i was hesitant at first, but dammit if i’m not obsessed.

i didn’t think korean BL’s would impact me as much as thai/taiwanese ones, but man do they know how to make a pretty picture complete with great acting and beautiful shots. i’ve seen you answer other asks about this and the future of KBLs , so that’s all i’ll say on that :)

thanks for letting me yell about this with someone who will get it - and your detailed reviews have helped me find some of my new favorites!

I hear ya. I feel this too. I think there is a distinction between High Heat and all around Good Chemistry. I mean there are some that do both (MaxTul, MewGulf, SCOY, Zee, lots of stuff from Taiwan) but then there are some that are pretty tame or sweet (low heat) but manage to really transmit chemistry like Old Fashion Cupcake.

I just finished the confession scene in Light on Me (when shin woo’s texts all come through, the “i’ll continue to think about you”) and i can’t lie i teared up. Your recommendation post put me on it as i loved your descriptions of the directing and the chemistry of the love triangle. i was hesitant at first, but dammit if i’m not obsessed.

YESSSSS!!! Light on Me is such a good BL. I am so glad you have it a chance. This one highlights a love triangle conflict that is about chemistry, now that I think about it. Intellectual chemistry (TaeKyung and GaOn) versus emotional chemistry (TaeKyung and ShinWoo) with almsot no physical chemistry at all. It's Korea at it's best.

If you haven't yet but are willing to continue to try KBL, I recommend Semantic Error, Blueming, and To My Star. They are all also good at this. (Give TMS a chance, it doesn't happen until the end.) 

For Japan Seven Days (of course), Utsukushii Kare AKA My Beautiful Man, and probubly Minato's Laundromat (currently airing).

[agentmaxa]

No One Likes Being Hurt (Tobin Heath x Reader)

Request

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long, I love Tobin. I love the Anon who requested this. I loved writing this. And I am very disappointed in the person who wrote this... aka me. And none of this is probably accurate. And heads up this will be focusing on her ankle injury, not the knee.

As usual sorry for any mistakes, please enjoy.

Y/n cringed as she saw Tobin return home with a boot issued by the hospital, her heart ached knowing how much this would hurt Tobin not only physically but mentally.

“Hey, babe.” Y/n tried to make things a little normal, walking over to her girlfriend.

Tobin gave one of the smallest smiles Y/n had probably ever seen if it were to even count as one.

Y/n stood there feeling slightly awkward and used a small and soft voice, “If your hungry I could order something or-”

“No, it’s cool, I think I’m just going to crash tonight.” Tobin brushed off Y/n not feeling in the mood to be around anyone right now.

“Yeah okay, I’ll ah... I’ll, um sorry I let you be then.” Y/n walked away to really anywhere else the apartment had to offer other than the bedroom Tobin was heading to and where she was.

The distant sound of the limp in Tobin’s step that the boot created was very audible but Y/n tried not to pay attention to it. Y/n waited and listened to hear Tobin go into the other room.

Y/n stood and thought for a few moments; she thought about how this might affect Tobin, maybe their relationship, everything.

It wasn’t life-threatening or career-ending by any means, Tobin was a badass and Y/n knew that she would recover, Y/n just hated seeing Tobin have to sit on the bench watching others play.

She broke herself out of thought, wanting to leave the thoughts in her head that weren’t helping with the situation at all. Walking to the bedroom, hesitantly.

-----

Y/n went on a morning run and got stuck in her head thinking about ways she could cheer up Tobin.

“Maybe some video games. Getting her favorites. If she gets cold I’ll put a blanket in the dryer, maybe offer my hoodie in the meantime. Got to keep her away from soccer though.”

In all honesty, Y/n didn’t expect Tobin to come back to America for part of her recovery but she wasn’t complaining.

Y/n stayed in her head as she walked back into the apartment, only somewhat expecting Tobin to be awake right now. Not seeing Heath, Y/n went to the kitchen and started making some tea.

The aroma was almost foreign to her because Y/n never made it while Tobin was in Manchester.

Y/n waited for the kettle to start whistling, taking it off of the burner. Adding the tea bag to a mug. Y/n carefully walked to the bedroom with the drink in hand.

Y/n entered with as little noise as possible, navigating with little light.

Setting the mug down quietly on the nightstand, Y/n looked over at Tobin.

Y/n brushed Tobin’s hair out of her face, the painkillers probably still have her knocked out. “Love you, babe. Promise I’ll be home from work as soon as possible.”

Y/n kissed her forehead before heading off to work.

-----

Tobin woke up with a surprisingly high awareness of her surroundings, almost ripping the sheets that covered her foot.

Tobin didn’t know what she was expecting when she saw the elevated foot having a boot on it.

Maybe she hoped that it was all a bad dream.

Maybe months would have flown by and she’d be healed and ready for her first game back.

Tobin took a deep breath collecting herself, slowly laying back down, noticing a sweet familiar smell.

Looking over at where Y/n would normally lay, Heath just saw empty space. Then turning to the nightstand she noticed a mug. Sitting up a little bit, while annoyed she had to keep her foot elevated.

Tobin took the mug in her hands, smelling it. Heath still felt that the mug was warm as well, taking a sip of the beverage inside.

Focusing on the drink Tobin almost didn’t catch the little ping her phone did when it got a notification.

Tobin already knew that it would be someone worrying about her or wishing her well so she didn’t even bother looking at it.

Suddenly losing interest in finishing the tea, Tobin used one of her crutches to hobble to the kitchen, putting it into the sink.

Tobin looked at the time, noting she needed to take her painkillers soon. Tobin moved to the couch, opting not to turn on the television, but the longer she sat there the heavier her eyelids got.

Until everything went black.

-----

Y/n opened the door to the apartment as quietly as possible, hoping not to disturb her girlfriend in any way.

Walking to the living area, Y/n saw Tobin passed out on the couch. Y/n let out a sigh of relief when she also saw Tobin’s foot elevated by the coffee table.

Y/n knelt down next to the couch, gently grabbing Tobin’s hand and kissing it. Y/n observed Tobin as her eyes fluttered open.

“Hey babe, how are you?” Y/n whispered, noting how there was almost no other noises in the apartment, thinking Tobin might have a headache.

Tobin rasped out, “Can you get my painkillers, please?”

Y/n tried not to look worried when Tobin said that and instead said, “Yeah, of course.” Y/n got up, heading to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, also grabbing some water to help the pills go down.

Wordlessly, Y/n handed Tobin the pills and water. After swallowing them, Tobin handed the glass back, mustering up a small, “Thanks.”

“No problem, I’m going to start diner probably, any requests?” Y/n tried to lighten the mood, but it fell flat.

“Anything is fine.”

Y/n nodded her head, saying, “Okay.”

Going to the kitchen Y/n looked in the cabinets, seeing what could be made quickly and not require a trip to the grocery store.

-----

After cooking Y/n walked to the couch, handing Tobin a plate of food, walking back to the kitchen to get her own.

Y/n walked back, happy to see Tobin taking small bites, but at least it was something. Y/n played with the food a little less concerned about eating, and more concerned about Tobin.

Glancing over at her girlfriend again she saw Tobin asleep, the empty plate barely in her grip.

Y/n put the plate she had on the coffee table quickly moving to grab Tobin’s. Y/n let out a sigh of relief when there was nothing that could break and wake Tobin up.

Y/n looked at Tobin, observing her again. More at peace then she would ever be if she were awake, right now.

Carefully scooping up Tobin, Y/n walked over to the bedroom and put Tobin on her side of the bed. Y/n made sure to elevate Tobin’s foot before pulling the blanket over her.

Y/n kissed Tobin’s forehead, before leaving her alone in the bedroom, going back to the living room to take care of the dishes.

Grabbing the plates, putting them in the sink and turning on the water, Y/n was left alone with a lot of thoughts to process.

Something Y/n tended to put off until she couldn’t.

Mindlessly cleaning and moving, Y/n was on autopilot until she reached for another thing to clean and there simply wasn’t one.

Y/n dried off her hands, turning off the lights, she was about to get ready for bed when she saw something on the couch. Y/n facepalmed herself, for forgetting to make sure Tobin had her crutches with her.

Y/n grabbed the crutch, turned off the light and headed to bed.

-----

The heavy wind and sleet had been hitting the apartment building for the last hour or two. Tobin grew worried about Y/n getting home safely.

“And the sudden weather change is shocking to us all. It had just been lightly cloudy this entire week. Hopefully, no accidents will happen and everyone will drive with more caution. Fare warning this might make the roads in the morning extra slick, good thing tomorrow is Saturday, so just stay home-”

The weather person just droned on as Tobin toned them out, wrapping the blanket around herself tighter.

The door to the apartment opened and Tobin saw Y/n walking in, soaked. Y/n closed the door as fast as she could.

Y/n took off the coat she was wearing, stripping any wet articles of clothing.

Carrying the clothes Y/n was about to walk to the laundry and then Y/n heard Tobin ask, "Hey are you okay baby?"

"Yeah, I'm just going to take a shower and get into my pajamas." Y/n headed to the laundry putting the clothes in the hamper, getting one hoodie and a fluffy blanket. Putting those two items in the dryer to get them warm.

Y/n then gathered her things for a shower. Once she was done with everything, she got the clothes out of the dryer and headed to the living room to give them to Tobin.

"Baby, I got a warm hoodie and a blanket if you want."

"Thanks." Tobin was handed the hoodie, putting it on quickly Y/n carefully putting the blanket over her.

"I'll get dinner. Do you need your painkillers?"

"Yeah." Tobin weakly admitted.

Y/n just nodded, heading over to the kitchen and getting everything out.

Tobin was left on the couch and though she was grateful for the blanket and hoodie, she couldn't help but feel the absence of Y/n. Normally they'd cuddle during these harsh storms.

The empty spot almost taunted her.

Tobin focused on the TV again, blaming her bad mood on not getting her painkillers sooner but she lost track of time.

Meanwhile, Y/n was tending to dinner, leaving her with her thoughts yet again. Using the scissors to cut something open Y/n accidentally cut her finger.

Grunting when it happened, Y/n quickly got a bandage and washed the cut before blood got everywhere. It was closer to a paper cut than anything that needed stitches.

This only made Y/n's thoughts keep lingering with a sting of venom.

-----

Once dinner was ready they ate in silence, the same thing happening. Tobin falls asleep, plate in hand. Y/n putting her to bed. Not forgetting the crutches. Clean the dishes.

Y/n gets into bed, carefully kissing Tobin's forehead. Reaching over to hold her and cuddle, Y/n stopped.

Y/n just looked at Tobin and then herself, Y/n hesitant to stay in bed with her.

Heavily conflicted because it would worry Tobin if she left but she didn't want to risk anything.

Y/n just decided that nothing had happened so far so she let herself relax. Praying that her body could control itself.

-----

Y/n yawned when she woke up, seeing that it was pretty late in the early hours of the morning. Glancing at how she was laying, she took a sigh of relief when she hadn't moved during her sleep.

Y/n got up to start the morning, only slightly realizing that it was the weekend. And after being up a few minutes Y/n decided it was a good time to take a run.

Normally she tries to focus during her runs, but today she just couldn't.

Her thoughts plagued her again as her jog rather quickly turned to a run and then a sprint. Going off of her normal route she was trying to get away from it all.

That may be all the thoughts she has are wrong.

-----

Y/n got back from work really late, rubbing the tiredness away, and looking to the living area.

When Y/n saw a figure in the living area, she blinked squinting her eyes, rubbing them again. "Hey Tobs, what are you still doing up?"

Y/n didn't expect Tobin to be up when she got back, the tv turned on so Tobin could play her switch. Y/n was tense for a moment but Y/n forced herself to relax.

It didn't really work.

Tobin looked away from the game, "Oh I didn't realize it was so late."

Y/n noticed that Tobin started to itch where the boot ended, Y/n grimaced because of how dirty Tobin must feel.

Y/n got a washcloth and a bowl, filling it with warm water, walking over to Tobin.

Wordlessly, Y/n took off Tobin's boot. Using the cloth to get the dead skin off, slowly, being careful. Also not getting it near the incision.

After a few minutes, Y/n got Tobin's foot clean and Y/n looked up and saw Tobin asleep, the controller falling out of her hands.

Y/n smiled at the site before moving to get a dry paper towel to dry off Tobin's foot. When Y/n was doing said task, Y/n thought sleeping on the couch would be a good choice for tonight.

Taking Tobin to the bed, Y/n made sure everything was in order before crashing on the couch.

-----

Y/n wasn't shocked to wake up in the middle of the night, seemingly not prepared to hear the loud thud from the bedroom.

Then a clear cry came from the same room.

Y/n fumbled off of the couch, running to the sound.

"Tobin?!" Y/n called out to her as she entered the room.

Seeing Tobin shaking on the ground, seemingly to be in pain, Y/n rushed over. Asking ‘what's wrong’ and ‘what happened’.

"Cramp, my leg's cramping. It fucking hurts." Tobin's words were almost labored, her breathing was odd because she was trying not to scream again.

Tears betrayed Tobin as they came out.

"Hey, it's going to be okay," Y/n said to Tobin, Y/n then tried to help with the cramp.

Y/n working with Tobin's leg, Y/n watching Tobin's face to see if she was still in pain or if it was getting any better.

It took a few moments but everything calmed down, Y/n noticing the small tears that escaped Tobin.

Wiping them away, Y/n asked in a hushed tone, "Are you okay, Tobs?"

Tobin nodded her head, not having the energy to say anything.

Y/n nodded back, getting up. Scooping up Tobin and putting her on the bed.

"Do you need anything?"

"No, I'll be fine."

Y/n nodded in response, again. Letting out a weak, “Okay.”

Y/n then got into bed with Tobin, tensing when Tobin started cuddling with her.

Just calm down, Y/n. Not moving means not hurting Tobin.

-----

Tobin looked at the clock, barely five minutes passed since her last glance.

Left to wonder what was keeping Y/n.

Turning back to the television, Tobin heard the door to the apartment open.

Tobin closed her eyes and slowed down her breathing as she heard footsteps suddenly becoming light.

Then a deep sigh from Y/n before she felt Y/n's hand intertwine with her own. Lips on the back of her hand, briefly but softly.

The tiniest patter of something hitting the leather, reminisce of rain on a window but not nearly as loud.

Tobin was tempted to open her eyes and see for herself what was causing it but something told her not to.

She felt Y/n move more then the grip on her hand loosened.

Hearing footsteps walk to the other side of the couch.

"Hey Toby, can you wake up for me?" Only using a gentle tone. Tobin felt Y/n brush her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

Then lips lightly touched her temple, being reminded just how great it is to be 'woken up' by Y/n.

Tobin only wished she could appreciate it more if she wasn't focused on what happened earlier.

Tobin gradually opened her eyes, looking at Y/n.

The only prevalent emotion on Y/n's face was the small smile.

"Hey there, sleepyhead." Y/n and Tobin make eye contact, a peaceful moment filling the air but it didn't last as Y/n asked, "Do you need anything Tobs?"

Tobin looked away, her facial features hardening.

Her mood suddenly soured.

The small cuts suddenly had saltwater poured into them.

"I need things to go back to normal." Tobin's low tone had a small rasp to it.

Y/n was caught off guard by the sudden change in Tobin, leaving her speechless.

"I need to be on the turf. I need to be training. I need to be with the team. I need to be back on the field." Y/n understood Tobin's frustration and wanted things to be better for her too but suddenly Tobin's words took a turn.

Tobin's voice became louder, as she went on. Almost shouting.

"I need to be treated like a human being and not like glass. I need to be able to do things for myself again. I don't want taken care of like I'm fucking helpless! I don't want to be dependent on you! Of all fucking people!"

Y/n's heart sank, all the air leaving her lungs as Tobin processed what she had just shouted to the world.

Y/n gets off of the couch walking away, poorly lying, "I forgot uh... something at work that needs to be prepared for tomorrow. Don't wait up for me."

Hurrying out of the apartment, Y/n left before Tobin could say anymore.

Tobin fully realizing what just happened, "What have I done."

-----

It was almost past midnight, Y/n figuring Tobin is well asleep by now, Y/n slowly walks back to the apartment.

Y/n stood at the door. Wondering if it was a good idea, not wanting to test what would happen if Tobin was somehow still up.

Y/n pushed herself like ripping off the bandage, Y/n opened the door.

Looking around Y/n didn't see her.

Proceeding to close the door and lock it, Y/n hung up her things. Heading to the couch so it can act as a bed again.

Being exhausted Y/n didn't have trouble passing out on the couch.

Time simply disappeared as soon as Y/n closed her eyes, opening them to see the morning light.

Sitting up Y/n went to the kitchen to hopefully make something to make waking up easier.

Sitting on the counter, mug in hand, Y/n looked down to the liquid not noticing Tobin hobbling out of the bedroom.

Tobin froze, seeing Y/n. She wanted to spill everything and explained what happened but at the same time she just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Luckily Y/n's back was facing Tobin so she didn't have to worry about being seen.

Tobin had started walking without being too loud.

Stopping, facing toward Y/n without getting in front of her.

“I’m sorry.”

Y/n head snapped up at the voice, seeing Tobin with her puffy red eyes threatening to spill tears again. Y/n was in a similar state, opening and closing her mouth before looking down at the mug again.

“Don’t be.”

Tobin didn’t know what she was expecting from Y/n, but it wasn’t that.

“You should have stayed back in Manchester to recover.”

Y/n wiped the tears away with her sleeve, continuing, “I’m barely here with work, and when I am here, I was ignorant of what you needed and what you wanted. You’re better off recovering with someone who knows what you’re actually going through. Not me. You only said the truth yesterday.”

Tobin moved slightly moved closer to Y/n, taking little steps, and when Y/n finished Tobin finally got to speak.

“Is that what you’ve been thinking this whole time?” Tobin was in front of Y/n now, in between Y/n’s legs as they dangled off the counter.

“Isn’t it true?” Y/n’s voice cracked saying this while looking into Tobin’s eyes.

Tobin just shook her head ‘no’, with a weak smile. Tobin then clashed their lips together. Both of them were able to taste the tears each of them cried.

Breaking apart, Y/n opened her eyes to see Tobin’s still closed for a few seconds before fluttering open.

“This whole thing is my fault, I was just so focused on my problems I neglected to communicate with you.”

Tobin brushed strains of Y/n’s hair and tucked it behind her ear.

“What I said last night, a lot of it was blown out of proportion because I was stupid to keep it pent up. And when I said those things about you-” Tobin took a deep breath, stopping the lump in her throat.

“I just thought I was a burden for you I didn’t want to be that. You’re such an amazing and loving person I just didn’t want to do that to you.”

“Tobin Heath don’t you ever think of yourself like that. And if you’re fixated on that idea, know that if you were ever a burden, it would be the easiest one I’ve ever had to carry.”

Y/n mirrored Tobin a few minutes ago and pulled Tobin in for a kiss. This one was less intense; both of them finally understood how things had gotten the way that they did.

When they separated for air, Y/n said, “This shit show was both of us. So now that we’ve been all sappy, we can put this behind us?”

“Yeah, I think well deserved cuddles are in order.”

Y/n genuinely smiled and even let out a small giggle. “Whatever you want Tobs.”

[la-fille-en-aiguilles]

Dog Tags

Billy Russo x Female!Reader

Request by @nebulastarr​ : Hey! Whenever requests open up again, could you do a Billy Russo x Reader where the reader liked Billy but doesn’t want to tell him because she thinks he won’t feel the same way

A/N: I was going to wait and get down to writing this once I was finished with my series... But this one has simply hit a little too close to home. I couldn’t stop thinking about it when I saw it and I ended up putting a lot of personal stuff in it so I’m sorry if it feels chaotic at times. Thank you for requesting, love, I hope it lives up to your expectations.    The Only Living Thing series will be back with its third part next week.  The song: Isak Danielson - Power

All you heard was an excited scream, that raised above all of the New York’s past-6-pm commotion, as a slender tall body smashed into you, locking you in a bone-crushing hug. You laughed happily, albeit feeling a little bit uncomfortable in Karen’s strong hold. You knew it didn’t seem that way, but Karen packed a wicked punch in those elegant arms of hers. Those self-defense sessions with Frankie boy that she’s been gushing about over the phone must have been finally paying off.

“Once I am done hugging you, I am so kicking your ass,” she breathed out into your hair as she squeezed you harder, as if reading your thoughts. “You’ve been ghosting me for what, a month now?”

You sighed guiltily as Karen pushed you slightly away, keeping her hands on your shoulders. You watched her as she studied your face, a creeping smile stinging at the corners of her mouth.

Grabbing one of her elbows, you groaned dramatically, pulling her towards the busy road. With your hands locked, you finally admitted:

“I did suck at communicating these past couple of weeks. Work’s been…. hectic”, the lie tasted bitter on your tongue, but this was the best explanation you’ve been able to come up with so far. “Please don’t kill me”.

Trying to keep up with your power walk, Karen let a bubbling laughter leave her lips.

“You’re not the one who should be worried then,” she gave you one of those bright trademark smiles of hers. “Next time I’m going to interview Russo, I’ll…”

You stuttered at her tirade as you walked, and of course it didn’t go by unnoticed. Karen was the best journalist you have ever met during your prominent career. She just sensed that sort of thing.

“I’m getting this ‘I-meant-to-tell-you-Karen-but-I-didn’t-and-now-you’ll-need-to-fight-it-out-of-me’ vibe”, she gave you a scrutinising look. “Want to maybe share whatever it is you’ve been not telling me before I go full interrogation mode on your plump backside?”

You rolled your eyes as you led her to a terrace-ringed Upper East Side high-rise, waving to the doorman through the glass doors. Jackson, a thirty-five year old ex-military with three kids and a labrador, gave you a brilliant smile as he hurried to open them for you.

“Good evening, Mrs Y/L/N!” He bowed his head in a stiff, very army-like manner. “A package arrived this afternoon for you, should I bring it up?”

From the corner of your eye, you caught Karen looking around, confusion written all over her face. You had a lot to catch up on.

“Don’t worry about it, Jax, just give it to me,” you didn’t mean to urge him, but you couldn’t wait to change out of your corporate attire into some comfortable old pyjamas and crack open a bottle of whiskey - that’s right, some habits did die hard. And to think you were a bubbles-kind of girl a year ago when you met him.

You could feel Karen’s blue eyes drill a hole in the back of your head as you took a small, envelope-sized package from Jackson’s hands.

It wasn’t until you both stepped into the elevator that Karen cleared her throat.

“When you said you’d rather have a girls’ night in, I asked Frank to pick me up from Queens, not from…here,” she spoke, her eyes skimming expensive red wood and mirrors. “Did you finally sleep with Russo and moved in with him?”

Whatever it was that Karen expected you to say to that, it definitely didn’t include you spitting out a roaring laugh, as you nearly dropped the package on the floor.

“Quite the opposite, actually,” you informed her after you finally restored your breath. “I left Anvil. And, well, Russo. At the end of last month”.

—

A half-bottle of whiskey for you and a bottle of white wine for Karen later, both of you were sprawled out on the lambskins thrown over the hardwood floor in your living room. Jazz music was seeping out of the speakers by the TV, a couple of Diptyque candles emitting a soft yellow glow.

You stared at the ceiling of your new living quarters, your mind a blur. As you folded your hands on your stomach, you felt Karen twitch as she bent her elbow and leaned her blond head on the palm of her hand, facing you.

“So let me get this straight,” she paused, narrowing her eyes. “After becoming the Forbes’ hottest CSO, concluding what can easily be described as deals of the century - especially the one with Anthony Stark aka Iron Man and his magnificent goatee…”

Involuntary, you giggled at this. This talk brought out some very dear memories that you wouldn’t trade for the world - the way Billy’s dark eyes shimmered in the dim lights of the opera house as he gave you a look that said you did it, ever the perfect team… Or the way he threw his arms around your frame, his long fingers sliding down your back… You knew you looked good in that dress, but the moment Billy saw you wearing it… You felt like the only girl in the world, the way his jaw dropped a tad, his lips opening up in awe…

Oookay, Y/N, can’t go there, your mind screamed at you as you wiped that dreamy smile off your face. Sitting down, you took your whiskey glass, and washed those memories away with a gulp of amber liquid.

Meanwhile, Karen ranted on.

“…you just quit?!”

She jumped to her feet all of the sudden, brushing her blond hair away from her face as she watched you excitedly.

“Jesus Christ, did Billy make a move?! He made a move on you, didn’t he?”

The urge to facepalm was fierce, almost overpowering, but you managed to resist. Slamming your empty glass against the floor harder than you intended, you gave her a bored look.

“No, Karen, why… Why in the world would you think that?” You sounded just a little short of desperate, so you cleared your throat. “I was his second-in-command, that wouldn’t have been appropriate…”

When you were done studying the flame, dancing within the glass walls of one of the nearby candles, you raised your eyes to meet Karen’s. She wore quite possibly the most blatant look of ‘you are shitting me’ on her face.  

“So you just quit?” she stared at you in disbelief, unblinking. “No explanations provided?”

“This wasn’t how it happened,” you said, hating the fact that you felt like you had to justify yourself. You brought your knees closer, hugging them tightly. “I…”

—

“…I’m here to see William Russo”. 


With a nonchalant gesture, you unbuttoned your Burberry coat, looking at a red-head secretary behind a desk that screamed power and status with every inch of its epic proportions.

Anvil was certainly new money. With all of those hedge funds injecting their cash into emerging companies, there was no shortage of these - entrepreneurial endeavours that didn’t last long.

You didn’t know that at the time, but you were going to make sure this one would.

“My name is Y/N Y/N/L,” you added, perching your sunglasses on top of your head. “He’s expecting me.”

The red-head gave you a polite smile before checking something on her Mac.

“Welcome, Miss Y/N/L,” she almost seemed shy, as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before standing up. “Mr Russo is indeed waiting for you. If you would like to follow me, please”.

As the redhead led you through the training grounds, packed with fit men and women that looked like they walked straight outta Gym Shark ad, you did notice a couple of vagrant stares in your direction. You couldn’t blame them. You looked slightly out of place; more Vogue than the setting allowed for.

You quit your job as the COO of a global FinTech company just weeks ago, looking for a new challenge. It was an adventure of a lifetime, and while your ex-executive board had literally begged you to stay, once you’d decided something, no promise of a generous promotion could make you change your mind. While you absolutely loved your job, working for one of the most prominent online payment giants in the world, it felt like it was time for you to step down. Due to all the processes and wise investments you’d initiated, the company could make millions of profits without their CEO having so much as to lift a finger.

And you, well, you lived for the hustle. And that’s exactly what you were here for.

You still had your doubts about Anvil’s owner and acting CEO, though. William “Billy” Russo had already become a household name in the financial circles, albeit the company he was spearheading had little to do with the FinTech space. Some said he had the potential to succeed; others badmouthed him for being ruthless and balancing on the very edge of legal limits.

In short, the man had you intrigued. So the very moment he called and invited you to drop by Anvil to talk strategy, you knew you had to meet him.

See the beast for yourself, so to speak.

The first thing you noticed about William Russo as you walked into his office, spacious and entirely transparent, with its glass walls overlooking the training grounds, was experience, for the lack of a better word. It was etched into his every handsome feature, especially into his scruff strong-willed jaw. As he raised his gaze to meet yours upon the red-head’s announcement, his black eyes swallowing you whole, you realized no light reflected on their surface. There was a certain confidence to him as he raised from his chair, his white shirt straining some over his chest, long dark strands of hair falling onto his long eyelashes. This man meant business, as those black impenetrable eyes zeroed in on yours. He almost seemed too flawless - to spotless to be an ex-marine, stained with blood and murder.

All that Hallmark handsomeness was nothing but a cover.

Before William Russo had even got a chance to open his mouth, you were determined to find out what was lurking underneath.

“Mrs Y/L/N”, the hot-shot gave you a polite smile. “Thank you for coming”.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Russo”, you didn’t move an inch. He may have invited you for interview, but he wasn’t the only one with a long set of demands.

You briefly wondered if he knew that.

Before your thoughts could take you further, William Russo made his way to you, composed and calculated. He stopped by your side, albeit for a moment; rolling the sleeves of his shirt further up, he shot the red-head a charming smile (nothing like the one he gave you).

“Olivia, would you please bring a fresh pot of coffee to the conference room? Mrs Y/L/N and I have a lot to discuss”.

When he turned back to face you, you noted unconsciously that he was taller than you expected, the top of your head barely reaching his shoulders. The cool and composed look was back on his face as he motioned towards the doors.

“Would you like to follow me, Mrs…”

“Y/N”, you cut in with a slight raise of your chin. “I’d also prefer to call you William while I tear Anvil’s strategy down”.

His reaction didn’t disappoint. Some tension left his arms, his stung-up body relaxing just enough for a spark of mischief and curiosity flicker its way to his eyes’ surface.

A twinkle of a smile danced across his lips as he bit on the inside of his cheek, nodding ever so slightly in approval.

“It’s Billy”, he said, amusement echoing in his every word. "I don’t expect any leniency, Y/N”.

“Good”, you replied instantly, looking him straight into his eyes. “That’s not what I came here for”.

He nodded again.

And this time, there was liveliness in the quirk of his brow and a touch of insecurity in the corners of his mouth.

Now that was the man you could potentially work with.

—

Working with William Russo was anything but predictable. There were, however, certain patterns to his way of handling things. Whatever the trouble was, Billy was good at seeing the bigger picture - he was usually able to put things into perspective, but there were occasions when he refused to. You dare say that sometimes, you felt like he thought that money didn’t matter - like Anvil’s financial prosperity didn’t matter - as long as his team got not to risk their lives one extra time. You watched him turn down several lucrative deals that you’d busted your ass to put on his table, because it involved sending his men a little too far from home, in a place where he had no strings to pull whatsoever should anything go south. A part of you (the part that wasn’t frustrated as hell) admired him for that - it didn’t, however, stop you from disagreeing with him, time and again.

You may have never been to Iraq, and may have never known the horrors of sleeping with the bombs exploding a mere kilometer away, but you knew a game-changer when you saw it. There were risks involved, there was no arguing about that, but those were calculated, and those kind of deals could make Anvil jump straight to the top of the private military sector overnight.

William and you disagreed.

When William and you disagreed, no voice was raised, no blood was spilt, but Billy usually became distant, cold and just short of snappy when those conversations took place.


He only crossed the line once. 



You were three months into your job as Anvil’s Chief Strategy Officer when Mayhew happened.

The clock on your desk showed midnight as you paced in your office, on the phone with Rex Mayhew, the U.S. Ambassador in Cairo. A cat-and-mouse game between the Egyptian Armed Forces and the nefarious arms dealer group had become common knowledge since a week or so; the U.S. special forces got involved in the conflict when it’d been discovered that the arms were being transported onto American soil. Rex, an old friend from your Yale days, had let you in on the fact that General Richard Ravelin, in charge of the operation, was looking to reinforce his rangs with private military before “neutralising the threat”. This was a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity, with a potential governmental recognition in play… and Billy wanted to hear nothing of it.

You were exhausted and barely hanging in there; Billy was categorical and stubborn.

You’ve dropped the phone on your table promising Rex you were going to give him an answer in two hours, tops. Taking a deep breath, you walked out of your office, your bare feet thudding on the parquet floors of the corridor. When you reached Billy’s hideout, you found the man leaning against his desk with a glass of whiskey in his unnerved hand.

“Billy…” you spoke firmly, barely stepping through the doorway. “Rex…”

“Can go fuck himself”.

Oh, okay. No sugarcoating this. Alright.

You saw his lips barely touch the amber liquid as he slammed the glass against the surface of his desk.

“I said no, Y/N,” he wasn’t facing you anymore, leaning on his desk with his hands digging into the wood, his back tense. “Please just go home. Have a good night sleep. We will talk about this tomorrow.”

You could have sworn you felt your head starting to fume. This was the third time Billy Russo was shutting you down. For the third time he was making you feel like an incompetent fool when you were trying to do your goddamn job.

Why in hell would he hire you if whatever vision you had for Anvil didn’t match with his own?!

“You could at least say this to my face, Billy,” you spoke a bit harshly before you could stop yourself. “You know, to my tired and disappointed face, with a mouth that you have been shutting up every time it offers you a deal of the century”.

This sounded so much better in your head.  

“Why did you hire me?” you asked almost immediately, trying to soften the impact of the words that had already escaped. “If this isn’t the direction in which you want to take your company, maybe I should just…”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Y/N, just fucking leave already!” Billy snapped like a branch that’s been holding too much weight, the sound of it dry and final.

…maybe I should just rethink the entire plan.  

There was no point in finishing that sentence now, was there?

“I was there long before you came along, so I’d think I know a shitstorm in the making when I see one!” Billy was looking at you alright, brushing his hair back, his eyes black and void.

You had wished It would have been new to you - looking in William Russo’s eyes and not seeing him there. But it wasn’t. He was back to his Hallmark version of a man, but instead of playing a hero, he was now putting on his villain guise.

“Let’s get something straight here,” he leaned back on his desk, crossing his arms on his chest, his black eyes narrowed. “While you were making your way to the top of a rich-ass cookie-cutter FinTech company, I was crawling in the dirt in Iraq under a downpour of the Trident D5LE missiles. While the closest thing you’ve come to havin’ your hands dirty was bribing an investor or two, I was fucking beheadin’ people under the direction of the CIA,” his words were cold, measured and rhythmic, like a round of bullets being fired on a range. “You know nothing of what’s it like to be in the middle of that kind of shit show, princess, so when I fucking say no, you listen. Is that clear?”

Bark. Sit. Roll over.

“Crystal. Sir.”, you finally broke the heavy silence hanging in the air, just barely resisting the urge to salute him. “I’ll see myself out.”

Biting the inside of your cheek like your life depended on it, once you turned your back on him, your first thought was don’t you dare cry on his account, bitch and then almost right away wait at least until you’re home.

You could have sworn you heard William call your name in a stranded voice, but you made sure to slam the door somewhat hard as you left his office so you could pretend you didn’t hear him.

If you were to face him now, with all that power and toughness he exuded… You would never admit it, even to yourself, but you’d just end up on the floor, huddled into a shivering little ball.

—

You were grateful that the next day after the shit went down with Mayhew fell on a Friday. When you stumbled into your apartment in Queens at almost one in the morning, you immediately shot an email to the HR department asking for a day off. Once that’d been done, you dialled Rex to decline his offer to introduce Anvil to general Ravelin, washed the makeup off your face and crawled into bed, hugging the second pillow close to your chest.

You didn’t cry, if that’s what you’re wondering.

As you rolled out of bed in the morning at around 8 am, you took a shower and grabbed a coffee from the kitchen before settling behind your home office desk with a heavy head. When you opened up the Keynote presentation with your strategy outlined for the H1, you couldn’t help but steal a glance at the iPhone you left on your couch last night.

You weren’t going to check if you had any missing calls.

There was nothing you had left to say to each other.

…with your chest hollow, you powered up the screen. There were no missed calls and no new messages.

It all looked like you had another strategy to build now. If Billy Russo thought that calling you a rich-ass princess that knew nothing of the world, all butterflies and rainbows, was going to make you resign, then man, was he in for a surprise.

You once heard one of his men compare you to a military convoy, when the guy thought you weren’t listening.

He had no idea.

You spent the morning refilling you coffee cup and rebuilding your H1 plan from scratch. After about eleven calls with the people you knew could get you a foot in the door of the offices of some government officials, billionaires and generals, after typing, deleting and typing again for 5 hours straight, by 2pm you had a solid game plan. You were pretty sure it would still need some tweaking from Castle, who essentially held the role of the Chief Operating Officer, dispatching men and women on missions and planning operations, and, well, from Billy Russo.

The Badass-ex-Sniper-turned-CEO himself.    

You kept the email short and to-the-point, sending the document over to Russo with Castle on copy, saying you’d be in the office to debrief on Monday. 

Refusing to check whether your email’d been opened, you slammed your MacBook shut.

The rest of the day rolled on uneventfully. You grabbed a coffee with the People Culture Officer from your previous company, who also happened to be one of your dearest friends; then you picked up your dry cleaners and did some shopping, cracking for a pair of new shoes in Saks Fifth Avenue.

Shoes were, indeed, your weakness.

By the time you got home, the tired sun was yawning, stretching its rays in one last effort before rolling into bed. Humming a Dua Lipa song under your breath, you were putting your new Jimmy Choo’s away when you suddenly heard your phone ring.

You didn’t even have to look at it to know who it was. 

You checked the time, however, noticing is was two minutes after the official end of the working day.

“Hi, Y/N”, Billy spoke, clearing his throat. “Are you… Um… Any chance you’re available to meet tonight? I would really appreciate it if you could give me fifteen minutes of your time. Please.”

It sounded like the real Billy Russo was back around. Insecure. Rugged. Imperfect.

“Can you pick me up?” you asked softly, “I’ll text you my address. There’s a pizza place just around the corner, I could use a free slice”, you circled the cold coffee cup you left on the counter with your finger. “Free as in you’re paying, Russo”.

A laugh that came somewhere from within caressed your ear.

“Uh, yes, I’m actually… Yeah, thanks. I’m leaving the office now,” even if he tried to hide it, a shocked surprise still seeped through the cracks in between the vowels.

You chuckled silently at his reaction.

“Just one more thing,” you ventured, placing the cup in the sink and making your way to the balcony - your small piece of heaven with a wooden chair, pillows and lavender. As you stepped outside, you put oyour free hand on the railing, just to feel the coolness of it, the evening air and the gentle flower smell stroking your skin. “What kind of car should I be on the lookout for?”

Billy hesitated, biting his bottom lip, running his nervous fingers through the thick strands of dark hair. The setting sun was hitting him just from the right angle, making his sculpted cheeks look like they were made of marble.

“A Rolls Royce Wraith”, he squirmed, rubbing his forehead, probably realising how lame and pretentious it sounded. “I’ll call you once I’m downstairs”.

“Uh-huh”, you smirked, leaning on the railing with your forearms.

You saw Russo pinch the bridge of his nose, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip again. 

Your small balcony provided quite a view, when you really thought about it.

“Don’t take too long”, you couldn’t help it, it really was stronger than you. “I’m starving”.

With a wide grin, you dropped the call and went back into your apartment.

You were planning to make him wait for ten extra minutes when he would finally “arrive”.

Just for the hell of it.

—

“That’s a lot of hot sauce for one pizza”, Billy commented, watching you spray your truffles and cheese generously with the piquant olive oil.

You gave him a mischievous smile.

“What can I say,” you shrugged, leaning back in your chair and licking the tip of your finger after you swept a drop of it from the top of the bottle. “I like them hot”.

That startled a laugh out of Billy as he eyed you with something in his irises looking a lot like awe.

Just when he was about to speak, a servant brought a glass of red wine for him and bottle of sparkling water for you.

You thanked the guy with a sweet smile, while Billy eyed him a bit coldly, obviously waiting for him to leave.

When the waiter had finally made himself scarce, Billy softly called your name.

You raised your eyes to meet him, struggling as hell to keep your stare vacant. (Which was hard to do with some foreign tightness in your throat).

“Before we dig in and I hope spend a nice evening as two friends, getting together on a Friday night”, he didn’t even blink? Was he blinking? You couldn’t tell, his black eyes swallowing you whole, again. “I want to apologise. I was completely out of line… It was unacceptable. You don’t need my validation, of course, but I still want you to know that you are doing a terrific job at Anvil, taking us to the heights I never even thought existed. It’s just… It’s hard for me sometimes to be a good CEO and someone who promised to take care of my men at the same time… Everything is happening so fast, I’m afraid to lose my footing.”

You reached out for his hand across the table before you could stop yourself. You didn’t take it, but your fingers brushed his ever so slightly before you realized what you were just about to do. Your eyes widened as you looked at him, searching for a reaction. 

Billy remained perfectly still, not taking his eyes off you.

You grabbed a napkin next to his wrist, pretending this was what you had meant to do all along. 

“We’ll get there, Billy”, you said, a small encouraging smile blooming on your lips. “We just need some tweaking”.

You weren’t sure if you were talking about strategy at this point anymore.

—

You had a great time at dinner.

(And a whole-hearted laugh as Billy finished your remainders of the truffle pizza, downing a litre of water to numb down the burning sensation in his throat afterwards).  

You talked about your respective lives, your ex-colleagues, your hopes for the future… You dared think this who the real Billy Russo was.

And he was incredible.

After the two of you were done with dinner, you offered him to come upstairs to your place and go through the new strategy together. He didn’t hesitate, although you could swear you’d seen something ambiguous flash in the depths of his dark eyes before he nodded.

(You must have imagined it.)

The two of you ended up sprawled out on your soft faux fur carpet talking game plan, bouncing ideas off each other. You watched Billy frown, as he rubbed his mouth with his long fingers, smile in excitement and shake his head in awe when you voiced your ideas - you felt proud and appreciated, and you wouldn’t trade the sensation for anything in the world.

A couple of hours later the two of you had finally decided that it was enough brainstorming for one night, and you rose to your feet to go and make Billy a coffee before he got behind the wheel. As you pushed the start button on your coffee machine, you heard him speak over the noise.

“You know I’ve done four tours - three in Iraq and one in Afghanistan”, you popped your head up, only to see him play absentmindedly with something on his chest. “And every time I’m considering a mission for Anvil, I find myself back in there again… A part of a death squad.”

You carefully picked up his cup of coffee and made your way back to him. You didn’t say a word as you leaned lower to hand it over to him, encouraging him to go on. 

Billy thanked you in a whisper before clearing his throat.

“Every time I have to send them somewhere, especially overseas, I force myself to stop and think… Is this really worth it? Is a fat check really worth putting the lives of my men and women in danger? And most importantly - you may think it’s stupid…” he avoided your gaze, staring into his coffee cup, a miserable smile on his lips. “I think, will it make a difference? If one of them dies on a mission, I have to at least know they made a difference… it’s selfish and it’s more about the peace of my own mind, but it is what it is, you know?”

When he looked up at you, his eyes were full, full to the brim. There was so much emotion in them, hatred, misery, hope, adoration, all whipped in a wild mix that was Billy Russo’s dark, velvet eyes.

“I carry these at all times,” the fingers of his free hand dropped to his chest, as he got a hold of something hanging around his neck. A necklace? “When in doubt, I just look at them - they help me remember where I’ve been and what I’ve done - and I just know if it’s worth it or not. The answer is usually no, by the way”.

He smiled again, the curve of his lips looking less haunted this time, as he sipped on his coffee.

Dog tags. Those were Russo’s dog tags.

“So they’re your reminder that, even being a badass CEO of a private military company”, you couldn’t help but feel some kind of zero gravity settling in your lower stomach as you saw him chuckle at your words. “…you still have a heart”.  

“How poetic”, Billy teased you without missing a beat, putting the empty cup on the floor next to him. “But yeah. Sort of, I guess”.

As you fell asleep that night, you dreamed about explosions, piquant olive oil and holding Billy Russo’s dog tags in your hand.

—

The time flew by after that. In 8-month time (after some tweaking) Billy Russo and you became a team. It sometimes felt like nothing could stop you, as long as you were together.

It should not have come as a surprise that the two of you earned yourselves a catchy nickname - at first, it was spoken solely behind your backs, but soon enough it became some kind of a title, more powerful than that of the CEO or the CSO.

Anvil’s men and women (and especially Frank - the fact that he invented the nickname secretly tickled him pink) - were now calling you Bonnie and Clyde. The ultimate partners in crime, against all odds, doing the impossible.

The two of you also settled in an almost homely kind of routine. Ever since that Mayhew fiasco and the day that followed, Friday had become the non-spoken partners in crime day. What it meant in practice was exchanging Friday jokes on Anvil’s internal communications suite…

(Billy once attacked you with a “would you look at this, just found the actual footage of your interview @ Anvil”. Before you even got a chance to answer, he forwarded you a cheesy meme with two old women speaking to each other, one of them saying “We need someone who can do the job of two men”, and the other responding “oh, so it’s only a part-time job then”. When you shot him back a message asking whether he really considered himself an arthritic old woman, that seemed to have shut him up).

…grabbing a beer in a bar nearby…

(you sometimes invited your colleagues to join you, plus it was an unspoken rule that Frank and Karen were to be there as well)  

…you making fun of Billy Russo’s eating habits…

(It was honestly a nuisance to have a lunch with him. The list of things he refused to eat went on and on: no asian food, no food chain restaurants (even high-rated), no soups, no cheesecakes… He sure was settling well in that peaceful life he earned after spending all those tours living off canned food).

…and just overall enjoying each other’s company.

By the time the ninth month of your being Anvil’s CSO had rolled in, you couldn’t imagine not seeing Billy Russo every day. Not noticing him rolling his eyes at a smart-ass comment you or Frank made, or his orbs lighting up every time you told him the deal with that or this decision maker had gone through. You simply could not understand how you managed to live day in and day out, and think you were genuinely happy, before you actually met Billy. Everything before him just faded away somehow, your memories lost their colour and spike in comparison to the life you were living now. You kicked ass at your job, your career thrived, but most importantly, you were feeling like this was exactly where you were meant to be, braving the obstacles by Billy Russo’s side, knowing he would catch you should you fall.

He would, wouldn’t he?

It was your usual Friday night outing, the seven of you - Billy, Frank, Karen, Curtis, James from legal, Ashley from mine clearance and yourself - occupying your usual table at Whimsy, the bar that must have made 90% or their revenus off of Anvil’s folk. It was just around the corner from the headquarters, after all.  

The overall mood of the evening was rather nostalgic. It’d been four weeks since you’d lost a team member in a crossfire in Falluja, Iraq. After everything was said and done, his loss still hung heavy in the air, and it felt right to get one more drink in Jasper’s honour. The conversation flowed easily, even though the topics you’d spoken about were anything but.

“I remember how I felt when I lost Andy”, Ashley nursed her beer as she stared into the distance. “I just literally had the weight of the entire world on my shoulders, pinning me to the ground, I just couldn’t move on”, she finished her bottle in one go and motioned for the bartender to bring her another one. “Sometimes, I just ask myself, what would have I done if I’d known he was going to die the next day? Would I have stopped him from going? I think I would,” she thanked the bartender as he put the beer in front of her, her eyes a bit foggy. “Yeah, I definitely would have.”

Frank grasped Ashley’s shoulder and squeezed it hard in a comforting gesture; Karen gave her a tender look.

You didn’t know why your mind had gone there, but all of the sudden a memory of Billy sitting in his office chair, laughing his ass off at some offhand comment you’d made flashed before your eyes; it quickly got replaced by the recollection of his hand brushing against yours during the Zoom meeting you’ve had with general Warren Singer; then you remembered him putting his hand on the small of your back, staring daggers at some army brat wanting to join Anvil, eyeing you like a piece of meat (you learned later that day that the man’d been thrown out before having a chance to introduce himself); until finally, your brain stopped dead at the picture of Billy running his nervous fingers through his hair as he called you from his car, telling you he was only leaving the office.

What would you do if you knew he was going to die tomorrow?  

Your heart sunk at the thought as you gulped hard, ducking your head and staring at your hands folded in your lap.

A soft touch enveloping your elbow had you facing the man of the hour, his black eyes shimmering with concern.

“Are you okay?” he half-whispered, half-mouthed, not letting go of your hand.

No.

Nothing is okay, Billy.

I’m so happy that I met you, but you’re scaring the hell out of me.

I never wanted any form of eternity until now, I never saw the point…

So stay. Please, stay forever, and feel something for me, too.

“Yes. I’m fine,” you whispered back, staring into his eyes, hypnotised and helpless. You watched him turn away from you as if in slow motion, the warmth of his hand leaving nothing behind but emptiness in your bones.

“Here is to always telling the things that matter to the people who matter”, Billy spoke firmly, raising his beer. “Here’s to never missing a chance to open up to the people we love”.

Well, if this was his way of crossing the t's and putting the dots to the i’s regarding his feelings for you, he couldn’t have been clearer. 


As far as confessions of love went, this one was non-existent.

—

You tried, time and again, to convince yourself you had to go. You learned the hard way that your unrequited feelings were feeding on a sort of inadvertent parasitic relationship where every moment of your day depended on the level of Billy’s unintentional emotional indifference. Your days were spent questioning his every move - every look and every touch; until, the grown-ass woman that you were, you’d commanded yourself to stop second-guessing everything - stop feeling - and decided your best course of action would be… to work yourself into the ground.

If Billy ever noticed anything, he didn’t show it - your were still you, after all, working hard, laughing when he said something funny, calling him out on his bullshit when needed. He didn’t notice slight change in your eyes, when their icy surface cracked at every other compliment he threw in your direction (and there was no shortage of those). He didn’t realize the smile you gave him was different from those tightlipped signs of appreciation you gave to Anvil’s potential clients, he didn’t think twice about the reason for which you glowed around him, your every move softening, your every gesture emanating warmth.

Because Billy hadn’t really known you until you started to have feelings for him.

You knew this couldn’t go on forever. This entire situation was bound to result in some explosion of nuclear proportions, and then all hell would break loose. You needed to get yourself out of this situations, but you just… couldn’t. You couldn’t imagine your life without Billy Russo. You couldn’t leave him.

Even if being friends with him meant tearing yourself apart and suffering in silence. 



Long story short, you waited with fear in your bones for someone to walk into your life and to get you out. You’ve had no fight left in you to do it yourself.

Your salvation came in the form of a phone call on a Friday evening, when Billy was on a recruiting mission in California.

You were typing back a response to his cheeky message when the call cut in half-sentence.

Billy Russo: Please remind me to take you with me instead of Frank next time? He’s driving me insane trying to set me up with the ladies from the Organising Committee. Any ideas on how I can calm him the fuck down?

You: Sorry, Billy, but recruiting is out of my mission scope. As for the calm down part, try bondage maybe? :)

Billy Russo: I’m going to pretend you did not just suggest I engage in sexual practices with Frankie. Karen will have my balls.  

Billy Russo: But perhaps you’re right. Taking you with me is probably not a good idea. Wouldn’t want my new recruits’ brains to turn into mush because of how beautiful you are.

You: The flattery will….

“Hello? Y/N speaking”, you brought your phone close to your ear, your cheeks still a lovely shade of pink. If you were going to feel miserable when Billy came back, acting like nothing happened, you were sure going to make the best of that fuzzy feeling in your chest right now.

“Miss Y/N/L”, a smooth deep voice greeted you, and you could have sworn you’d heard it many times before. “I hope I’m not interrupting?”

Frowning in an attempt to remember, you urged:

“No, not at all. How can I help you?” you stared into the screen of your Mac, wheels turning in your head as you silently catalogued all the men you were in discussions with regarding a deal. “I didn’t catch your name…”

“Oh, how rude of me”, the man chuckled but there was no mockery in his voice, more like self-depreciation. “Tony Stark, from Stark Industries”.

Your mind went blank. Did you hear his last words correctly?

“Uh… Mr. Stark”, you quickly got a hold of yourself - well, as quickly as you could. “I appreciate you reaching out to me directly. What can Anvil do for you?”

You did a pretty bang-up job trying to mask your amazement with polite cheerfulness, and Stark had caught on that.

Tony Stark just called your cellphone number. What in the world?…

“We don’t really do alien invasions”.

Ohyourgod, did you just say it out loud?!

His uproarious laughter took you by surprise, reverberating through your entire body. It took every ounce of your self-control not to giggle in response.

“That’s a good one, I love it”, Stark finally said, restoring his breath. “And the better question would be, Y/N - can I call you Y/N? - what you can do for me”.

Before your brain could take you into some naughty direction, freaking Iron Man cleared his throat.

“Okay, this came out wrong,” he admitted with a sense of self-irony. “I um… I’m looking for the Co-Chief Executive Officer for Stark Industries. Well, Virginia Potts is actually looking for a Co-CEO, I’m just her errand boy. And my missions apparently include recruiting…. Anyway,” it was a bit of a challenge to follow Anthony Stark’s train of thought, but you were also still shocked, so that could explain it. “…I think you are the perfect fit for the job”.

You just stared into the screen front of you, your breathing barely audible.

“Mrs Potts and I would love it if you could swing by the A-Tower, let’s say, on Thursday? You’ll be surprised, but I can also whip up a mean cup of coffee…”

Say something.

Fucking hell.

Say something!…

“Thursday sounds great,” you blurted out without thinking. “Let me just shuffle my schedule around… I could stop by after lunch?”

 Your hands were slightly shaking as you clicked on your mouse, opening your schedule window.

“Whatever works for you, Y/N”, you could hear Stark smile. “Not to sound like a creep, but I’ve been following your career for quite a while now, and I think that the work you've done in such a short span of time for Anvil is outstanding, even though you still don’t offer protection from alien invasions”.

That made you chuckle, pushing you halfway out of your stupor.

“I’ll put that on the list of things for us to consider”, you promised.

"Tell Mr. Russo I sent my best,” Stark added, and you felt your heart drop to your stomach. “I actually might have some ideas for how we could collaborate. Let's discuss this on Thursday, too, shall we?”

After you said your goodbyes, you fell back in your chair, dropping your iPhone on the table.

You: The flattery will….

...get you nowhere.

You never finished that message, leaving Russo on Read.

—

Starting with that evening, things were moving fast - too fast for you to keep track.

After a three-hour long coffee and the tour of the A-Tower, Virginia Potts, the acting CEO of the Stark Industries, had offered you the job - just like that - and asked you to come back to her executive assistant should you wish to take the job, with your salary expectations and the information about your notice period. You thanked her for her time and promised to get back to her as soon as you made your decision.

Virginia Potts was a brilliant woman; but running a company like Stark Industries while being equipped with a vagina was certainly no walk in the park. Sexism was still very much present within the Boards of the Tech Businesses. You understood perfectly well why she wanted a woman in her corner - it would have been a massive slap in the Board’s face, but it was also about having someone to lean on, who just understood.

In any other circumstances you would have peed your pants in excitement. It was an opportunity to work for Stark Industries - no, scratch that - it was an opportunity to step in as a Stark Industries co-CEO. The idea of it still made you dizzy.

…but as you looked at Virginia’s email sent to your personal address thanking you for stopping by, your eyes were swimming with tears.

You weren’t ready to leave Billy. 
You just couldn’t. 
You couldn’t leave him. 

There was no epic finale to your story. There was no big revelation, no closure, no moment of relief, no acceptance, nothing. Only a fat-ass what if.

And you didn’t know how to let go of a what if with Billy Russo.

And that was exactly why you had to do it.

You heard Billy come in the next Monday earlier than usual. He was positively humming Usher’s Yeah! quietly as he made his way past your office’s doors straight into his own.

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes. You’ve been psyching yourself up during the entire weekend, telling yourself it wasn’t a big deal, we wouldn’t even flinch when you were going to tell him.

You had to tell him.

As you stood up from your chair, straightening you skirt with the palms of your hands, you suddenly heard the footsteps coming back in your direction. You froze in place like a deer in headlights when Billy swung open the door to your office, a box of Pierre Hermé macarons in his hands.

Your goddamn favorite Pierre Hermé macarons.

“You’re here!” Billy’s warm smile illuminated the room. “So much for a surprise, huh?”

He shook the box carefully in the air. You stared at it, dumbfounded, every single thought leaving you.

You couldn’t breathe.

In the hazy morning light seeping through the windows of your office, Billy looked beautiful and dissolute, shirt open at the collar, longer strands of dark hair falling into his eyes.

He was going to be the death of you. It really wasn’t fair.

“Billy, I have to tell you something.”

Was it you who spoke those words? They seemed distant and cold, so uncharacteristically detached.

Blood roared in your ears.

“What’s wrong?”

Billy’s reaction was instant. In three decisive steps he closed the distance that separated you, leaving the macarons on your desk. He stood still just mere inches away, and just like during your very first meeting, you had a fleeting thought cross your mind: you really were tiny next to him, the top of your head barely reaching his shoulders.

You bit the inside of your bottom lip, trying to keep your composure. He stared at you unblinking. He wasn’t touching you, but it felt like his eyes were looking straight into your soul, undressing you, blowing that wall you built around yourself into dust. They were taking you down, piece by piece, determined to see what you’d been keeping from him. 

Because, of course, he knew. He should have known something was going on. Hence the surprise this morning.

He had no idea what it was though.

“Maybe you should sit,” you said, making a physical effort to tear your eyes away from him, feigning sudden interest in the buttons of his shirt.



That chest…



…was going to be just fine. He didn’t feel the same way you did. He would just find someone else to fill your position. With brilliant women stalking him - in cooperative packs - that would not be a problem.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you”.

You squeezed your eyes shut as soon as his words reached your ears.

Fucking hell, you should have done that by phone. Or with other people around. You should have…

“You’re leaving”, you heard Billy repeat as his voice broke a little. He stepped away, burying his face in his hands as he dragged them down his jaw and neck, staring into the ceiling.

“Billy, listen, I…”

You were the one to close the space between the two of you this time, and before you could think too much into it… You threw your hands around his shoulders, burying your face in his neck.

The sensation struck you like a bolt of lightening when you felt his hands cross behind you back and pull you closer.

He smelled heavenly. Like a forest fire, a hint of smoke with oud and pine. You inhaled deep, deeper still, losing yourself in his comforting touch.

In his arms, just for a second there, you felt home.

“You… The company doesn’t need me anymore”, you nearly choked on words, screaming internally at yourself to keep the waterworks at bay. “It’s thriving, there’s not much else I can give you. My job here is done.”

I need to leave because your indifference is destroying me, and when I think I’m ready to let go, all it takes is one look from you, and I’m back to wanting you, to settling for anything you give me, like a goddamn fool.

“What the hell are you talking about, Y/N?!” Billy exclaimed, his hands grasping your shoulders as he distanced your bodies just enough for him to look into your eyes. “I nee- The company needs you! I was… You know, I was planning to make you the CEO of Anvil in a couple months time,” his smile, as earnest as it was, did not reach his eyes. “Yeah”, noticing your eyes go wide in shock,  he let his hands slide down your sides. “You’re so much better at it than I ever was. I was going to join Frank and just manage operations… under you”.

You just stared at him, dumbfounded, not feeling a stray tear escape your eye and rolling down your cheekbone.

“These are the tears of happiness, I hope”, Billy added, and you barely registered his touch as his thumb wiped the salty drop off. “Well, I guess Anvil will have to settle for the little old me. With my best girl going places."

You gave him a strained smile before you carefully wiped your cheeks, just taking a moment to look at him. To try and read him.

Billy Russo was a goddamn ceiling. Plain white, cool and unattainable. In all of your time working for him, you have never seen this Hallmark version of him before. Which one was it? 


Oh wait, you guessed you knew. The happy-for-you friend.

“So where are you going?” Billy asked, his eyes empty. “Who snatched you away from m- Anvil?”

The stutter was so subtle you barely noticed. You were finally tired of reading into shit.

“Stark Industries. I’ll be their co-CEO”.

—

Before you left Anvil you promised yourself you’d get the deal with Stark Industries up and running. There was no one in the world you trusted more in terms of security than Billy.

(The fact that you couldn’t keep your heart safe from him didn’t really count, did it?)

As a matter of fact, Billy and you were going to shake hands with Anthony Stark on the deal on your last night of being Anvil’s CSO. It was happening in The Metropolitan Opera and required both Billy and yourself to dress for the occasion. 

He promised to come pick you up at 6pm sharp; you were putting on the Jimmy Choo’s you’d bought a coulee months ago in Saks Fifth Avenue when you heard a low knock on your door.

Straightening up, you threw a quick glance at your reflection in the mirror. You decided to go with a long Marchesa black velvet gown with a rather deep V-line, a pair of long diamond earrings and an elegant half-up half-down hairdo, soft curls in the front framing your face.

“I’m coming”, you yelled out, picking up your leather jacket (because why the hell not) and your purse from the kitchen counter. Sharply opening the entrance door, you realized moments later that you didn’t even take time to prepare yourself for seeing William Russo in a tux.

If you weren’t already half in love with him, the sight before your eyes would have sealed the deal.

God-fucking-damn, like he needed any help being unforgettable.

With a black jacket thrown on a crisp white shirt with a couple of buttons undone and the tie hanging loosely around his neck, Billy was here to make a statement, to leave a mark. His hair was coiffed back in his usual style; honest to God, he looked like he just stepped out of the Man of the Year special GQ edition…

Just when your thoughts were about to switch to the way you must have looked next to him, ridiculous in your simplicity, like you refused to make an effort…

…Your eyes met his.

And the way he looked at you was so intense, his big black eyes with galaxies in them probing into yours, his strong jaw slack. There was beauty and tragedy reflecting in those orbs, but only just for a second - just for a second, he looked at you the way he probably looked at the sky he could never reach. Just for a second, he looked at you the way that made your heart beat twice as fast, like the world could crumble all around him and he still would not have blinked.

Would not have taken his eyes off you.

“Wow, Y/N, you look… You look beautiful”, he finally said. “I just can't spot a part of you that beats the other.”

Something in your chest exploded silently.

“Thank you, Billy,” you smiled at him - a genuine and happy smile, because you felt on top of the world with his adoring eyes on you. “You’re quite a catch yourself”.

Before you could scold yourself for your choice of words, you stepped out of your apartment and locked the door behind you.

“Shall we?” Billy offered his hand to you, without hesitation it seemed.

“We shall”, you replied instantly, slowly sliding your hand into the crook of his elbow.

And, just like always, you were going to enjoy it while it lasted.

—

The crowd in the opera was so posh, the looks all the women had been throwing you first made you question your choice of outfit. It’s after overhearing their conversations that you realized, the reason they stared daggers at you was the man that kept by your side no matter where you went.

Virginia and Anthony welcomed you at the buffet with sun-stained sincere smiles. After a short small talk, Anthony Stark informed you both that he had signed the contract earlier today, thus officially giving Anvil an exclusive security deal with Stark Industries. As of now, Anvil was the only company allowed on the Stark Industries’ premises in the quality of guards and protection officers.

The look Billy and you exchanged spoke volumes; while your eyes were sparkling with excitement though, screaming “we did it!!”, his bottomless black eyes were whispering “thanks to you”.

The four of you then shook hands and went through rounds of gratitude and appreciation; when a pleasant woman’s voice announced the imminent start of Onegin, inviting the guests to go to their seats. Virginia immediately took you hand, leading you straight into the Opera house, saying something about leaving men to finish their drinks. You threw Billy a laughing look over your shoulder, mouthing “come join me” before disappearing out of his sight.

“So on the scale of one to ten, how pissed at me are you, Mr. Russo?”

Billy turned his head sharply to a side, leaning on the high table, and spotted Anthony Stark himself, nursing a glass of whiskey. “For taking your queen away from you? Excuse the chess metaphor, but that woman”, Stark took a sip of his whiskey and savoured it before swallowing it down. “Is a goddamn queen.”

Billy chuckled, straightening up, digging his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

“That, she is,” he whispered, his eyes still piercing the spot in the crowd where your smiling face was mere minutes ago.

—

When the opera ended, both Billy and you couldn’t be more relieved - because both of you hated it with passion.

Exchanging meaningful glances in the dark during the singers’ performances now and then, you had to bite your tongue in order to not just ask Billy if you could maybe sneak out. Russo proved to be more stoic than you, carefully covering your hand with his in what was meant to be a comforting gesture.

You didn’t look at him once after that, afraid to say or do something that would make him remove his hand.

How much more pathetic could you get?  

When the performance was over, Billy led you out of the opera house without saying a word, his hand hugging carefully the small of your back.

His silence was unnerving. You didn’t know what to make of it. Should you have shaken his hand off back in the darkness of the concert hall? Or should you have caressed it with your thumb?

Your mind was spinning in circles by the time he opened the door for you and you slid into the front passenger seat of his Rolls goddamn Royce.

When he got in the car and gripped his steering wheel, you reached out and placed your hand on his whitening knuckles.

“Billy,” you spoke softly, barely audibly. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” he whispered back, turning his head to a side to face you. His black eyes stared into yours, looking hypnotised and helpless. “Everything is fine.”

It didn’t take a degree in Psychology to see that he was lying. You could feel his gaze on you as you turned away from him, taking your hand away at the same time.

Billy started the car. The revving engine filled the silence, loaded with the unsaid words.

—

“…he then walked me to my door, we exchanged our goodbyes. And that was it,” you finished lightly, looking back at Karen.

Her eyes were red as she stared at you, unblinking.

“Unbelievable…” she whispered. “So you never told him?…” her lips barely moved.

You sighed.

“Have you ever felt like you’re potentially in love with someone? Like, you don’t actually love him, you know you don’t, but one day you realise that you could? You realise just how easy it would be for you to fall in love with him? With all the teasing and the banter, the play hitting each other, calling each other names, just…. You start to pick up on little things - like if you listen closely, in every shut up, there’s a barely-there ring of I could love you.”

You shifted on the floor a little, and Karen watched your memories transport you somewhere else again. While physically your were here, in your apartment - with your fluttering eye-lashes, uneven breathing and loaded expression - mentally, you were somewhere else.

“….You probably don’t notice it at first, but your body is drawn to him. Every accidental or absentminded touch…” you continued quietly. “And there’s that twinkle in his eyes when he looks at you and it messes you up, because - what’s going on with you? What the hell does it even mean? Are you imagining shit? You’re trying to make sense.”



Karen didn’t interrupt, still staring at you as if she were seeing you for the first time

“I mean, he didn’t ask for any of it, you know?” you finally raised your foggy stare at Karen, as if searching for confirmation. “Maybe he just did something dumb one day, smiled at you or said something that seemed important and then all of the sudden you’re full on Looney Tunes, seeing stuff that isn’t there?”

Your words barely audible, you swallowed hard, before continuing.

“…I just kept looking at him with what ifs, and could haves, seeing all that goddamn potential. It’s so fucking twisted. Over-analyzing everything? Waiting for a sign?…” you chuckled bitterly all of the sudden. “…I was so fucking scared of reading too much into it, of crossing that line, because… It would be so easy!… Falling in love with him would have been so easy.”

Oh sweetheart, Karen’s eyes glowed with comfort as she reached out for your hand and squeezed it softly. But you already are in love with him. 



A loaded silence ripped through the air in your living room. The sound of an engine revving somewhere close squeezed its way through the slit of an opened window, and it seemed to break the trance.

Both Karen and you shuddered, and as you took in the realisation Karen’s eyes just bestowed upon you, you pinched the bridge of your nose.

“It’s pretty late,” Karen spoke up, reading you like an open book. She knew it was her cue to leave the stage. You needed time to process. “Frank is in a bar nearby with Curtis, let me just give him a call, okay, sweetheart?” she gave your hand one last reassuring squeeze. “You know where to find me when you need me”.

“Yes”, you responded, blinking tiredly. “Thank you so much for coming, Karen. I didn’t mean to unload on you like that…”

“Shut the hell up,” the blonde advised, raising her eyebrows. “But honestly, Y/N, please call me once you… come to terms with things, okay?”

You nodded.

When Karen left, leaving the sweet and pleasant smell of her perfume behind, you closed the door behind her and turned around, leaning on the cold wood and metal with your eyes closed.  

It’s been a month. This was supposed to pass by now. Billy was supposed to stop inviting himself into your dreams. You were supposed to heal.

You may have just realized you were in love with the man instead.

Letting out half a moan, half a groan, you peeled yourself from the door slowly, and brushed your hair back, wanting nothing more than to fall face-first into bed.

After you at least cleaned up a bit and put out the Dyptique candles, that is.

As your eyes scanned your living room in an attempt to asses the size of the job at hand, you stopped mid-way, zeroing in on the box Jax gave you earlier in the evening. It rested silently on the kitchen table.

Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you made your way to the kitchen area. Grabbing the package, you turned it around, looking for any indication of the sender.

The package wasn’t even stamped.

Curiosity getting the best of you, you took a moment to grab a knife from one of the drawers, and carefully swished it between the two cardboard sheets.

Flipping over the envelop, you heard something fall out of it before you could actually see it. A small sheet of paper floated in the air before falling on the surface, partially covering whatever fell out of the package.

Your heart squeezed the second your brain identified the object, attached to a worn silver chain.

With trembling fingers, you slid two metal pieces from under the paper, covering your mouth.

Finding their home in the palm of your hand, Billy’s dog tags shimmered in the dim candlelight.

Squeezing them in between your fingers, you grabbed the paper with your free hand, your eyes staring at one single sentence scribbled on its surface.

“You took my heart with you”.

[lovelybarnes]

saudade- l. laufeyson

pairings: loki laufeyson x reader, mentions of other loki characters warnings: loki tv show spoilers, probably tva inaccuracies, mobius being trusted even though i don’t actually trust him lol, mentions of death, tears, a little sad angst but happy ending, ooc characters?? possible mistakes because i can't read this again skjfj about: requested, DF26 with TVA Loki running into the variant of his dead spouse a/n: thank you so much for requesting! i loved writing the last scene so much

loki has narrowly avoided the tva for years, opportunities much better than this and chaos a lot more chaotic than this have already been caused and passed. so the how and why he has been taken in at this very moment- while he’s eating at one of those fast food places you used to like- is very, very unknown to him. he should know, however; you’ve explained to him the tired concept of time traveling many times before, although the most important things were told to him when he thought you a mere mortal like the rest- something you were not- and could not possibly know something he didn’t- also something very untrue.

but the reasoning for his capturing is not at the front of his mind- although close- his main objective staying on how to get out of this unknown place and go back to looking for you- whether the fragile fabrics of reality and string of the timeline fray and break or don’t. he knows it possible, having seen the avengers do something similar, so why can a god like him not?

he’s ripped many holes, and he supposes the consequences for them are finally catching up to him, a lot sooner than he’d like. in another world, he’d already have you, and, with you by his side, you both would’ve been out long before, or never captured at all. although, he supposes, in a perfect world, you never would have been taken away from him in the first place.

he knows stopping for food he didn’t even necessarily need- or, really, like- was not a smart decision. he’s realizing exactly how not-smart of a decision it was with every passing second that the fools in armor drag him along the halls. the stop wasn’t needed, much less planned, but the memories the greasy food and dirty restaurant brought were too pleasant- a break full of you in the nonstop mission to find you. he could nearly feel your fingers touching his, hear your voice urging him to at least try and your bubbled laugh when he cringes. the fizz of the soda had made him grimace like the first time, except there was no you to giggle at it.

loki nearly thinks it was worth it. nearly.

when the guard shoves him into another room, loki takes a second to examine the exits, barely noticing the man at the desk. the person next to him pushes him further, dropping the tesseract and various stolen pym particles on the desk. loki takes note of where the man puts them so he can steal them back.

the guard stops with him in front of a small elevator, pulling a lever and waiting. loki looks at them, “where am i? get me back right now, i have things i must attend to.” the guard only looks at him, and loki scoffs, “i am loki of asgard, god of mischief and trickery, believe me when i say there will be deadly consequences if you do not do what i ask.”

the guard huffs a small laugh, “i’ve heard that before. we’ll see.”

the doors in front of him part, opening to a room he’s rammed into. he looks back the guard, one foot already out when he’s suddenly back where he was, watching as the entrance closes. he senses the machine before he can have a good look at it, a claw that he’s seen too many variations of beginning to poke at the fabric on his shoulders. he swats it away, standing tall as he glares at the smiling machine. “absolutely not! this is high tech armor, only few of this exists.”

the tech on the machine turns the grin into a frown, pulling back the talons and instead extending another apparatus that scans at his clothing, removing them with a yellow glow until he’s completely bare. he looks down at himself before looking back up at the face, pointing a finger, “now what-”

his words are cut off when he falls through the opening ground, falling onto the bottom room, now dressed in an uncomfortable tan jumpsuit, orange letters reading TVA on the left breast. a bored man in front of him pushes a pile of papers to him, “please sign to verify this is everything you’ve ever said.”

loki ignores his words, pushing it back, “i need to find someone, stop the absurdity.” the man only blinks as a machine whirrs, printing a piece of paper he reaches over to take and place on top of the pile. he hands loki a pen, “sign that too.” loki frowns, “did you not hear me? i have important things to do.” the machine does it again, and the man repeats his motions and shakes the pen in his hand. “that, too.” the god only sighs in frustration and signs, slamming the pen down before he’s dropped again.

another man greets him in a monotone, not even looking at him while he reads off the clipboard in his hands, “please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul.” loki’s eyebrows furrow, “i’m not a robot- how many people don’t know?”

“thank you for confirming, move through,” he requests. loki glances at the machine in front of him before stepping through it, a small picture printing after he’s on the other side. loki catches vibrant orange and red with hints of green that overcome any other color. “through the door, please.”

-

he encounters the same guard from before with a frustrated glare, leading him to what looks like a courtroom, a woman sitting in the middle, reading off a file. “variant L4293, aka loki laufeyson-l/n, is charged with sequence violation 7-20-89. how do you plead?” loki tilts his head at her, “madam, a god- i don’t plead.”

the woman sighs tiredly, “are you guilty or not guilty?” loki’s eyes thin as he observes her. “guilty of… trying to find my wife, yes. guilty of being extremely frustrated, yes. guilty of whatever it is you’re accusing me of, no. not guilty.” loki’s hand curls, trying to use his abilities inconspicuously but dismayed to not be able to. he tries again, only to come up empty as he realizes what is happening. “magic powers are no good in the tva, mister laufeyson,” the judge says absentmindedly. “i prefer l/n,” loki diverts simply, unknowingly catching the attention of one of the attendees. the judge barely acknowledges him, about to say something else before a man jumps up, hand raised, “wait, wait- uh, i have something to add to this. before the court makes a decision.”

the judge tilts her head at the man, pursing her lips before sighing and letting him approach the bench. loki leans in to try to understand the whispers that are exchanged, ending in the judge sending one last look his way before letting him go. “the court finds you innocent- and under agent mobius’ responsibility,” she clarifies, looking at the man and watching him nod quickly. she slams her gavel and motions for the man- mobius, he assumes, to take loki. he stands and awkwardly bows, before going over to loki and raising an eyebrow, “don’t betray me,” he says, words too true to be something playful. loki���s head tilts to the side in slight confusion, watching as the man begins to walk, pausing to urge loki to follow him.

loki ignores the activity through the windows of the hall, choosing to concentrate on mobius. “why did you do that?” he wonders aloud, suspicious eyes following him as his head peeks into halls. “let’s just say it’s a favor, although you’ll be on thin ice forever.”

“favor for whom?” mobius doesn’t answer, turning a corner. loki exhales sharply before following him, continuing to pry as he briefly heeds his surroundings. the sight of a woman in a suit much like mobius’ catches his eye, her back to him but he recognizes the shape of her shoulder and the color of her hair. he looks away, pretending to concentrate on the clock thing on the television but actually chasing the overfamiliar features to a face.

the sound of your voice- something he hasn’t heard in an obscenely long time- craved for so much longer it seems like a lifetime, snaps his attention to what surely must be a cruel joke. he can tell it’s you now. you’re standing there, head tilted at the same receptionist man and chuckling exasperatedly, “come on, casey, we’ve been over this. a fish and a lion are not the same thing-”

“but a lionfish-?” casey asks, and loki is pushing away the guards already, because you’re there, you’re solid and laughing like you used to and you can’t not be real. he can distantly hear mobius’ voice telling the guards to let him go as if loki hasn’t already taken care of that, walking over to you with quick and quiet footsteps. his fingers circle around your wrist first as an assurance, and when you turn, hand still in his, eyes widening when you notice who he is, he pulls you into him completely. your arms wrap around him barely seconds later, finally registering the person in front of you as you squeeze him. “loki?” you whisper, inhaling the same familiar scent of him that you haven’t had in what seems like forever.

“i missed you so much,” he says, hands wandering over your back, touching your arms and your shoulders and your hips just to touch you. “me too- i didn’t- i thought i would never see you again.” your tears are falling on the fabric of his jumpsuit, small tearful gasps escaping your lips while you tug him as close as you can, tangling your fingers in his hair and shutting your eyes at the familiar feeling. “oh god, you’re here-”

“i missed you so much,” he repeats, and you finally notice his words, realization like electricity, making you tremble and sigh softly. “what does that mean?” you question, already fearing the answer and already knowing the effects: the mess of his usually kept hair and the red tint of his eyes, like a sheen of sadness that stains the color of the eyes you have missed for so long. loki pulls away from you only to look at your face, trace the shape of the lips he’d spent hours of the morning pressing kisses to, memorize the curve of the nose you’d scrunch in a laugh when thor was a victim to one of his tricks.

“i have been looking for you, darling,” he murmurs, fingers running over your fallen tears while you notice the shine of his eyes, the tears that enhance the love he has for you. “because i’m…” you don’t want to finish your sentence, and you can tell loki doesn’t want you to either; he scans your features, small smile peeking through the shock and grief.

“i didn’t… mobius didn’t show me that, i thought-” your eyes flicker to the man before settling back on loki, the weight of the ring he’d given you feeling lighter now that it had found its pair. the various eyes on you don’t go unnoticed, and neither does the look mobius sends to the rest of the workers, indicating for them to go back to work. the cold of loki’s skin is comforting to the touch of your warmth, and you find yourself back in the summer afternoons where you would settle with your husband to read books, rubbing cool fingers on the hot of your skin when you felt suffocated by the heat of the sun.

another tear slips from your eyes when you realize you don’t have to imagine anymore, there’s no need to search for your memories and shut your eyes for them to run over you. your lips are on his when you can’t help it anymore, eyes squeezed close and salty tears dropping from your chin when it finally settles that he’s here and he’s yours and he’ll never be gone again.

he’ll make sure of that.

[nathanbatemanfucker]

Back To You - Part 5

summary: you’re consulting on a case with reid when he introduces you to his boss, aka, your high school best friend and the love of your life who previously chose haley over you. is reconciliation possible?

pairing: fem!reader x hotch

warnings: 18+, mention of injury/brief hospital stay, fluff, SMUT - years of longing and build up smut

AN: this is the last bit of this series but i was convinced by some besties to write at least a few more things for this. those will just be bonuses all taking place after this part. there will be 2 maybe 3 total. pls god let there be no typos

word count: 3.2k

read part 4: here.

Being woken up at all hours of the night wasn’t new for you. As a psychologist, you were listed as emergency contacts for high risk clients and so getting a call from the hospital needing you to come down was not out of the ordinary. What was out of the ordinary was that the person who listed you wasn’t a client; it was Aaron Hotchner, the you’d just decided to give a chance.

The two of you were supposed to go on a date a couple days ago, your first really date, but that never happened because he was called away on a case. Here you were, two days later frantically calling Talia at 2 a.m. to see if she could watch Crissana. Luckily, Talia was used to this and immediately came over.

You reassured Crissana that everything was okay but you ducked out in your matching pajamas and winter coat. The case was close, only in Richmond, and you sped the whole way, shaving 30 minutes off the expected 2 hours.

From what they told you, he was stable, but unconscious. He’d been inside a building when it was blown up by a pair of unsubs. By all accounts he was lucky to be alive and you felt lucky that you were on your way to him. When you get there you park with haste and run inside.

“I’m here for Hotchner. Aaron Hotchner, I mean.” The words rush out of you, but his first name still feels foreign on your tongue. The woman at the front desk tells you that he’s on the 5th floor and you thank her before taking the elevator. You sit in the waiting room, surprised that you don’t see Spencer somewhere. It feels like you’ve sat there for hours when a nurse finally comes in.

“Anyone here for Hotchner.” The nurse calls out and you spring to your feet, almost running into her.

“I am."

“We are.” The black man who was sitting next to a dark haired woman speaks up, coming up to stand next to you.

“Okay, you all can’t go back at once. He’s asking specifically for a Y/n/n.” The nurse looks down at her clipboard.

“That’s me." You give the pair next to you a weak smile in response to their questioning looks. "I won’t take up too much of your time guys.”

“Thanks, but who are you?” The dark haired woman asks, looking you up and down. It was a look that you learned was how profilers observed so you weren't offended.

“I’m Hotchner’s…" You think of the right word, "...friend. We’ve known each other since high school.”

The nurse blows out an impatient breath. “Let’s chitchat later, he’s been really insistent.”

The nurse takes you down a long hallway before you all step into a room. Hotch is looking at his phone, no doubt probably reassuring Jack in some way.

“Here’s Y/n/n for you Agent Hotchner.” The nurse says before stepping out of the room and closing the door.

The relief in his eyes is reflected in yours. You were so so happy to see him. So glad to know that he was okay.

You pull a chair from the corner and plop down next to him, grasping his hand in yours. “You look fucked Hotchner.”

He chuckles, wincing in pain before he replies with, “I feel fucked, and not in the good way.”

His comment sends you into full blown laughter, though you try to stop once he joins you, knowing that your laugh will just continue his painful bout. There's a sense of calm in the way your eyes hold his once the laughter dies down and he squeezes your hand, reassuring you before you even had to say anything to him.

“You listed me as your emergency contact?” You whisper, looking anywhere but at him. You knew that starting this conversation would open up the door to more, and though you were nervous, you almost felt ready. Ready to see what life with him could be like.

“About that...whenever I get hurt I know that Jessica and Jack will be notified. Since our relationship is private I needed a way for the person I love to know I was injured. I’m sorry if it was too much.”

“It wasn't, I'm glad you wanted me to know. I mean, I’m just glad you’re okay, that you’re not…” You try to keep your voice level at the thought of him being gone.

His hand tightens around yours and he leans forward so that his lips brush your forehead. “Don't, its alright, I'm alright. I understand how you're feeling, I just got you back. You were all I could thinking about when I entered the building.”

“I wish I could make you promise you’d never do it again but I know that this is your job, and this is just what I have to be okay signing up for.”

A deafening silence floods the room. When he speaks again its so low you feel like you're imagining his words but the contents of them having you listening attentively. “I almost quit for her you know. If you wanted me to…if you need me to I-“

You cut him off before he can even finish. “No, the only person you ever need to quit for is yourself. Through everything I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy Hotchner, even if it wasn’t with me.”

“I’ve never been happier.” He pulls back to look at you, his eyes shining with adoration and you feel your heart thump in your chest.

You could tell him. Say those words right now, the words you both knew were true. You go for a variation, not quite ready.

“Me too, and I think-“

The door flies open at that moment, and a brightly dressed blonde stumbles in. “Oh, sir, am I, we can, I’ll shut up now.”

“No, Garcia it’s okay. Sweetheart, do you want to meet the rest of my team?” He regards you patiently. Up until now, your friendship with Hotchner was need to know. This would change things. Moving forward was just a theme tonight you guess, but the man you loved almost dying in an explosion does that.

“Are you sure?”

“100%. Are you?" You nod timidly and a smile spreads across his face. “Come on in. All of you, I know you’re there.”

Meeting the team is a flurry of handshakes, unexpected hugs, and gentle flirting. The latter comes from, Morgan, the man who was with the dark haired woman you now know as Emily. You've decided that Garcia is simply the sweetest human to ever grace this earth, and you adore the maternal aura that JJ exudes. You are a bit disappointed that Spencer isn't here and that you don't get to meet the infamous David Rossi but you know that time will come. Once the team leaves you sit down next to him again, your hand finding his.

There’s no doubt in your mind when you say, “I think it’s time for you to meet my daughter.”

“Really?” His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline and you almost laugh at how he looks like a cartoon character.

“Yes, really. You can meet her when you pick me up for our date.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You know, I should get blown up more often.” He jokes and you shoot him a glare.

“Sorry to interrupt but we need to take Agent Hotchner back to run a couple more tests.”

“Of course. I’ll be in the waiting room if you need me.” You stand up to leave but he doesn't loosen his grip on your hand. You look back at him confusion.

“I love you.” He says in a way that somehow is strong enough to take your breath away, yet gentle enough to breathe it back into you.

Bending down you give him a passionate kiss, one that says everything you're feeling better than any words you could ever formulate. By the way he kisses you back, you know that he understands.

*

Crissana is in your arms when you open the door. Much to your surprise she flails in excitement towards Hotch, causing you to almost drop her and his eyes go wide. You clutch her a bit closer to no avail, though she does stay in your arms.

Before either of you can say anything, she squeals, "Hotcher!"

His mouth drops open in surprise but he quickly recovers, "Well, hi there baby girl."

Your face is warm with embarrassment from her overfamiliarity with him. "Crissana, honey, relax, you can't just go attaching yourself to people." You scold as she lunges for him again. This time he's ready for her, taking her into his arms.

"Everything okay?" Talia comes out of the kitchen from behind you and you introduce her to Hotch. Her face is smug but you ignore her.

Letting Hotch in, you can and can't believe how effortless things are between Crissana and him. She was an easy toddler, she got along with everyone so that's no surprise, but it was like she knew him. Granted, you'd talk to her about Hotchner before, especially since you'd let him back into your life and she had seen a multitude of pictures but this was different. This felt like...fate.

Home.

Watching him with your daughter, the last part of Chris you had alive, brought up all these emotions that you now know you were trying to avoid when keeping the two of them apart. Some where hard to identify, others like guilt and shame not so much, but then there were the overwhelming ones. Love and happiness and belonging.

“Give me on second, I forgot something.” You lie smoothly, heading back into your bedroom. You were ready to tell him you loved him but you weren’t sure if your body would allow you to say the words. The last time you said those words to him, he shattered your heart beyond repair. You’d never been the same after that night, it has made you the guarded, cautious woman you are today. But you were ready to jump and you weren’t sure how. So here you were, hyperventilating in your bedroom because he’d done it, he’d proved himself to you in his patience, care and the way he interacted with your daughter.

Inspiration hits you and you open your purse and then your wallet, staring at the locket that had haunted you for all these years. You could change it symbolism if you just took a chance. You’re clasping the locket around your neck when there’s a knock on your door.

“Everything okay in there, honey?” His voice is worried.

You quickly tuck the locket into the collar of your shirt so it looks like a simple chain, before you reply. “Yes, coming.” You give yourself one last once over and take a deep, encouraging breath before stepping out into the hall. “Sorry.”

“You alright?”

“Mhmm, I’m fine Hotchner.” You face breaks into an unconvincing smile but he can’t respond because Crissana comes crashing into your legs. Looking down at her you say, “Mommy will be back in the morning, okay? Talia’s gonna stay with you overnight. I love you so so much.”

“Love you mommy. Bye Hotcher!”

“Goodbye, Crissana it was nice to meet you, you’ll have to tell me more about dinosaurs later.” He affectionately smooths Crissana’s hair before he turns to Talia. “You as well, Talia.”

“Be safe. Have fun. Do you have con-“ Begins but you stop her quickly.

“We’re covered, thanks.” You squeal, glaring at her. That smug grin spreads across her face as she watches you leave.

*

The tension inside of you is something you’ve never felt before. You know what wanting someone is like, you’ve experience love and lust, but not in the way it bubbled furiously in you tonight. The ride back to his apartment is silent besides the soft music billowing out of the speakers and your heart beating loudly in your chest. You were convinced he could hear it and the way you throbbed between your legs for him.

Desperate. You were desperate for him, to feel just a inkling of what you felt when he nestled between your legs that night. It was silly how needy you were, like some horny teenager that hadn’t ever gotten off. You hadn’t been with anyone since Chris passed but you knew how to take care of yourself. Yet here you were, your mind racing with the filthiest thoughts that had ever flit through it as he pulled you from the car and up the steps.

By the way he moves slowly, leisurely almost he couldn’t know how deep the desire was festering inside of you. Once inside the two of you shed yourselves of your coats. You’re about to go to the bathroom to splash your face with water and muster some composure when he calls after you.

You turn around slowly, your head tilted slightly. “Hmm?” Your eyes widen as he quickly closes the space between you, taking your face into his hands.

His eyes search yours, a mixture of emotions you can’t quite identify in his as you maintain the eye contact. “I love you, and I’m sorry that it took us so long to make it to this moment.”

You become aware of his erection that’s pressed against your stomach. Knowing now that he was just as turned on as you were, you want to tease him just one last time.

“Yeah, you should be.” You say defiantly and a knowing smile spreads across his face.

“I’m the stupidest man to walk this earth.” He states and you can’t help the laugh that leaves you.

You fist your hands into his shirt at your hips, pulling him closer to you. “I think you’ve come to your senses.”

“Can I…could I possibly hold you?”

“What does this tell you?” You dip your hand into your collar and put the locket around your neck on display.

His eyes fall onto the locket, his mouth slightly ajar in shock. He looks up at you and then back down at the locket and then at you, swallowing loudly. “I just wasn’t…I didn’t want overstep. We’ve been taking things slow and I wanted to be respectful. I mean you haven’t even said I love-“

“Hotchner, you’re rambling, you don’t ramble. Just kiss me okay?”

You words spar him on and he pushes you into the wall roughly, his mouth capturing yours. This kiss is nothing like your previous kisses; it’s sloppy and desperate and bruising. His fingers pull up on your shirt, taking it out of your skirt and up over your head. His lips find yours again in an instant, his tongue fighting it’s way into your mouth. The aggression makes you squeeze legs together, the heat between them almost too much.

“I’ve thought about you like this for so long.” He breathes against your neck as he slides your skirt down from your hips.

“Me too.” You look down at him, watching him suck and kiss down your naked stomach.

“I wanted you that night I just-“ He whispers against your flesh but you stop him.

“Don’t, it’s okay, we’re together now.”

He peels your underwear down your legs, an animalistic groan leaving the back of his throat as his eyes take in your naked body. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

The words cease and the two of you go at each other, nothing but lips and hands that roam, caress, and kiss the other. All of the pent up longing and pinning finally released as you bare yourselves before each other. He grabs your waist, pulling you back down the hall and into his bedroom, his mouth never leaving yours. Your hands make quick work of his buttons dress shirt. At the same time his fingers nimbly undo his belt and he pushes his trousers and boxer down with one motion. Once he's completely naked he picks you up and throws you onto the bed, causing you to squeal. He’s on top of you and between your legs in an instant.

“A condom.” He grumbles impatiently, turning to get out of bed but you wrap your legs around his waist.

“We don’t have to, I trust you Hotchner.” You wrap your arms around his neck, leaning up to kiss him fiercely.

“Are you sure?” His murmurs against yours lips, his hands splaying across your breast, his fingers slowly brushing over your nipples.

“I’ve never been more sure, I just want to feel you.”

“You too, baby.” His seductive whisper sends a chill down your spine, which morphs into a shudder when he plunges deeply inside you.

“Oh! Aaron.”

“There it is, there’s my name on that pretty mouth of yours. Say it again, please. Please, Y/n.” His voice is needy and breathless.

“Aaron. Fuck. Just like that.” You whine, tilting your hips to meet his every thrust. You’re building, the tension between your legs growing tighter and tighter when he pulls out of you. You groan in protest but he flips you over onto your knees, slamming deep inside you again. “Oh!”

His hand is around your chest, pulling your back to his chest. His lips are at your ear, kissing and sucking just beneath it before he asks, “You think you know what you need, but it’s better like this isn’t it sweet girl?”

You push back against him, your eyes rolling in the back of your head at just how sexy his deep voice sounds in your ear as he fucks you. “Oh god.” Is all you can manage at the exquisite feeling of your bodies together.

“Isn’t it?” He demands again, his hold on you tightening as he rams into you even harder.

“Yes. Yes, so good.” You hiss as he hits that spot inside you just right repeatedly. “Aaron, I’m-“

“You’re close?”

“Yes. God, yes. Don’t stop, please.”

His hand snakes down your body, two fingers attaching to your clit and rubbing with just the right amount of pressure. “Let go, it’s okay, I’ve got you.”

And with one last thrust into you, your body clenches tightly around him, your orgasm running through your veins like an electric current with a loud cry leaving your lips. The sound that leaves his body is unrecognizable, some combination of swearing and your name as he pours into you, meeting his own release right after yours. He keeps his promise, even through his own orgasm, holding you tightly against him as you twitch and writhe through your intense release.

He pulls out of you and somehow flips you over so he’s laying in the bed and you’re on top of him. You’re rendered useless, barely able to get your breathing under control. That was utterly mind blowing and you can’t even form a coherent thought behind the one that’s burned into your brain. The one that consists of three words you’d been holding back since your eyes met his in his office. His arms circle you, his knuckles rubbing your back.

“You alright?” He ask gently.

“Yes.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.” You plant a kiss on the mound of curly hair in his chest.

He laughs, tightening his hold on you. “More than one syllable please.”

Finally looking up at him the words spill out of you. “I love you, Aaron.”

His face softens, and you see tears pool in his eyes. He leans forward, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips. “I love you too.”

read bonus here.

tagged: @ssa-hotchswhore, @ssahotchie, @hotchwhore15, @azenpal, @hyacinthhotch, @averyhotchner

[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Ch. 16

Story summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi

Chapter Summary: Dinner at the “Best Diner in Seoul.” (Still not a date though, right?)

Previous Chapter here

The two of you dropped the van off without any issues. You walked outside the rental agency, onto the main street stretching your arms overhead. You turned to face Yoongi, “Alright, are you ready for dinner at the best diner in Seoul?”

Yoongi smiled, glad you had rallied from earlier. He put his hands in his pockets. “The best? I don’t know; that’s a pretty high standard. This is a world-class city.”

You started to walk, “It is, and I have eaten a lot of places. This one is the best diner.”

Yoongi followed you to the subway station.  “Where is this diner?” He asked. The subway was uncrowded, with not much of a rush happening on Sunday night. You each scanned your cards. 

“It’s by work.”

Yoongi racked his brain trying to think of a diner near BigHit but wasn’t able to. He shrugged.

The subway car was mostly empty and the ride back to the city center was smooth. Yoongi scrolled through his phone. You got off and you led him down a few alleyways to an unassuming diner. It was truly a hole in the wall. 

The neon sign above the door, “Dynamite Diner,” had a few letters out: DYMT DNER. Yoongi chuckled slightly and made a confused face, but took your word for it as you opened the door. The inside of the diner was clean and brightly decorated. There was a counter with bright white stools and several cherry red booths around the perimeter. Donuts sat in a display case next to a vintage register up on the countertop.

“I should have brought my sunglasses,” Yoongi joked as he followed you over to one of the booths. You laughed and put both your personal and work phones on the table and stretched. You were certain you would be sore tomorrow from moving all those boxes. 

"What is that?" Yoongi asked, sounding mildly horrified as he gestured to your personal phone. 

"Oh this?" You held it up. You had jokingly changed your lock screen to the picture you took of him sleeping the other night to see how long it would take him to notice. "It's you, looking so adorable." 

His eyes widened "You put Tubby on me." 

"Aww is that the bear's name?” You turned the phone back towards you to look at it. “So cute". 

Yooongi touched his ear awkwardly, "It’s a dog, not a bear. Tubby was my family's pet growing up; our first dog. Anyways, I can't be your lock screen!" He pouted, a slight accent suddenly permeating his speech. 

You looked over at him, trying to keep a straight face. "Ok first of all it looks like a bear, but that it was your family’s dog makes it even more adorable. Secondly, it's my personal phone sooo…. Third. where are you from?”

“What...what does that...Daegu.”

You smirked and looked at your phone again. “I guess if it really bothers you I can change it, but look? It makes me smile." You held it up and grinned. 

The waitress came over, dropped off menus, and took your drink orders: Coffee, water, and a cup of ice for Yoongi.

"Oh my God, keep it." Yoongi opened his menu, clearly flustered. 

You laughed, "Are you sure?" 

"Yes, just stop showing it to me. Put it face down." 

You smiled and complied, then flipped through the menu. “Why did we both just order coffee?” You asked. “It’s 9 pm. That’s a terrible idea.”

“I can drink coffee and fall asleep, no problem.  What's good here?” 

“The noodles are really good. I'm getting the gaeranjim tonight. I used to come here after working at the bar since it's open 24/7.”

Yoongi looked over at, watching you scan the menu. You gave so much to the people you cared about." Spicy or regular?" 

"Huh?" You asked, bobbing your head back up. 

"Spicy noodles or plain?" 

"It's cold out, so you have to get spicy." You said it so matter of factly. 

“Ok, of course. Why did I even ask?” 

You put the menu down and grabbed your work phone.  "Let's see what this week brings. Meetings. Meetings. Sound mixing? Recording. Meet with Hoseok. Hair and make-up department. Photo shoot? Photo shoot?" 

Yoongi sat his menu down and interlaced his fingers in front of his face, resting his mouth against them. “Yep. They want new pictures for social media and for the album. My next album deadline is in 90 days but they begin all of this stuff in advance for things like printing and promos.” 

“Oooo so you'll be like a model?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes and the server walked up to the table. She sat down all of the drinks carefully. The two of you placed your food orders and handed in the menus.

“Min Yoongi. Model.' You teased, striking a pose. 

“Are you saying I'm not good looking enough to be a model?” He feigned offense while pouring his coffee over the ice and stirring it.

“Oh please, I told you at the job interview I thought you were good looking. It's just hard to imagine you sitting still and being pretty.” 

Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck. “Well it's in my contract. And my fans like it. As much as I hate parts about my job, I do love my fans. " He took a sip of his drink.

“That's sweet.” You smiled.

Yoongi blushed a little, “Well I wouldn't be where I am without them, right? You have to have an audience to be a performer. Someone has to listen, otherwise you're just screaming into the void.”

“I guess that makes sense. Being on the consumer side of things I never really thought of it like that. Huh.” You sat back in the booth thoughtfully and sipped some coffee. 

Yoongi looked out the glass window at the street outside. It had been a strange couple of weeks for him and yet this all felt normal. He couldn't remember the last time he had gone out to a restaurant with someone because he wanted to. He covered a yawn and looked back over at you. 

You were people watching in the diner. You were normally only here in the middle of the night. The bell above the entrance dinged and you saw Chinsun, your regular server, walk in to begin her night shift. You smiled as you remembered all the coffee and bullshit you had shared with her. There were nights you got off work at 3 and knew it made more sense to power through and go into the office. You decided you would talk to her later if she wasn't busy. 

The food came out a few minutes later.  Hunger had snuck up on you. You went from zero to famished. You began blowing on your meal.

“Y/N?” You heard the familiar voice of Chinsun “I haven't seen you in a while.” She had on her white and red work uniform and her graying hair done up in a bun.

You looked up from your eggs and smiled,  “Nice to see you. I quit working at the bar, I just have 1 job now.” You said happily. 

“That's great, you can only burn the candle from both ends for so long. I'm surprised you did it for as long as you did.” She responded.

You shrugged and took a sip of water. “Well we all do what we have to.”

“And?.... who is your friend?” Chinsun gestured to Yoongi who was mid-slurp on his noodles. Apparently he was also starving.

“This is my boss, Min Yoongi.”

He patted his mouth with a napkin before speaking, “Hello,” he bowed his head. “Nice to meet you.” 

“I’m Chinsun. It’s nice to meet you too.  Well I'll let you get back to your meal, I'm glad you stopped by, I was worried when I didn’t see you for a while. Make sure you two come back!”

“Thank you. You are so sweet. I’ll make sure to stop in again soon, take care.” You took a bite as soon as she left.

“These noodles are in fact, the best.” Yoongi appraised between slurps. 

“I told you. You can’t beat a hole in the wall diner sometimes. So...new album in 90 days? How’s it going?”

“It’s ok. A few songs are done. I got feedback from Adora last week so that was helpful. This album in general will be less….angry. Yeah less angry sounding.”

“Cool. What comes first, the music or the lyrics?”

“They are separate completely. The music and then I see if any of the  lyrics I’ve written match the mood. Sometimes it just goes together and sometimes it doesn’t.” 

“Interesting.”

Yoongi talked a bit more about the process of creating an album from start to finish. You had never put any thought into it so it was fascinating. The rest of your meal passed without incident and you were happy that when they brought the bill, Yoongi actually let you pay. 

You waved to Chinsun as you exited. Yoongi rubbed his stomach. “Too many noodles.”

You smiled and then looked up at the sky. It was beginning to snow. “No such thing. And look. What great timing. The first snow of the year.” 

“Gross.” He quickly replied.

“Ahahaha you really hate the cold don’t you?” You said as you held out your hand, watching the flakes land and melt almost instantly.

“I do. The snow is pretty though. I’ll look at it tomorrow from the warmth and safety of inside.”

“You’re no fun. I love the snow.” You played with it for a few more seconds. “Alright let’s get back.”  

The snow continued to fall as you began the short walk back to BigHit. It was so pretty. The sidewalk was almost empty and the snowfall made it seem even quieter than it was. You took your phone out and snapped a picture for Instagram. In a few minutes, you were back at the building. The two of you scanned your badges to enter the lobby and waved to the night security guard.

“I’m heading to the studio. You should take some aspirin and a hot bath.” Yoongi said while you waited for the elevator.

You reached over without thinking and dusted snowflakes off of his hair. “Do you need help with anything? I also had coffee, I’ll probably be up for a while.”

Yoongi was briefly unable to answer, still surprised from having been dusted. “Nope. I’m just going to write. Go, rest your muscles. Watch Netflix. Relax. You literally moved a small apartment’s worth of stuff today.”

The two of you got on the elevator. “Alright. If you insist. I’m not going to argue with that. Where is the aspirin?”

“My bathroom. Bottom left drawer.”

“Got it.” The elevator slowly climbed. You took a deep breath and looked over at Yoongi. “Thanks again for all your help today. Like. ALLLLL of it. The van, my aunt, my brother. Thanks. It was a lot.”

Yoongi avoided eye contact, finding his shoes very fascinating. “No problem. Like I said, it wasn’t that bad for me. I got free soup and noodles.”

You laughed, “Good to know your chauffeur services are so affordable.” The elevator stopped on the 14th floor. 

“See you tomorrow.” Yoongi started to exit, “If Jin’s girlfriend acts up, call me.” Yoongi added as though he suddenly remembered something.

“Now that I know that’s a thing, apparently, I’ll be fine.  Thanks though.” You waved as the doors closed.

You’d be fine. Yoongi reassured himself as he walked over to the studio. He was suddenly acutely aware of just how quiet the 14th floor was with no one else on it. He walked over to the large windows on the opposite side of the elevators. The snow was really coming down now, and the ground would soon be blanketed. He opened the shopping app and searched “snow gloves.” He took a deep breath, What am I doing? He walked over to the other side of the floor, punched in his passcode, and entered Genius lab, ready to get some writing done.

--

Fuck, you were so glad today was almost over. You walked into the apartment and immediately started a bath. You set up your laptop on the toilet lid. You were going to live your best life, watching Netflix in the bathtub. You had heard of such luxuries and were strangely excited by it. You headed up to the loft area, randomly grabbed a stuffed animal and threw it onto Yoongi’s bed. You grabbed the aspirin and smiled as you passed the Pikachu you had yeeted onto Yoongi’s comforter and imagined his annoyance when he discovered it. Ah, it made you laugh. You grabbed yourself some water from the kitchen and headed off to soak away your soreness and forget the day. You paused briefly to admire the snow coming down in full force now. So beautiful.  NEXT CHAPTER

@lidda  @anpanman-sonyeondan   @firefairy1  @cuteipat  @sugaslittlekookies  @janeelizabeth1216 @deeepvibes @gxldenhunny @livelyjay @niniita-ah @bobbyboops @honeysunandsoil @deathkat657 (i missed your tag for the last chapter, so sorry!!)

[johnkrrasinski]

hush;

full masterlist

Pairings: steve rogers x female!reader (AU)

Word count: 2,171

Warning: SMUT, dirty talk, fingering, oral sex, mentions of prostitution(?). MUST BE 18+

Summary: steve rogers, a powerful business man hired you to be his escort for some social events. it certainly pays well to be his employee though.

a/n: wrote this for @allaboardthereadingrailroad​‘s marvel diversity  challenge. i chose the prompt pretty woman since it’s literally one of my favorite movies ever and i actually had this idea of steve rogers hiring me to be his escort and then ended up falling in love with me before i began writing fanfics. also, this was written with an asian reader in mind but this fic is inclusive to all types of ethnicity. enjoy!

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

"This way miss," Denis aka the elevator attendant guided you away from the elevator, crossing the lobby. he led you to a room in the hotel that you hadn't swung by before.

You could hear the euphonious sound of piano playing, though muffled by the door before Denis pushed it opened for you, revealing the person you had been looking for clad in his shirtsleeves. The lights in the room were dimmed and his audience was only the cleaning crew working the night shift. You approached him slowly, enjoying the sight of him playing the piano.

You'd always thought that piano was the most magnificent musical instrument and you used to sit at every piano stool every time you passed by one at the mall. you didn't grow up in a wealthy family, hence, you didn't have the resources to buy one and learn to master it yourself. So when you see people passionately dancing their fingers on the keys of this swanky instrument, you were always captivated. Just like how you were at the moment.

You stopped behind him, just standing there to watch the private show, and then once it was finished, the cleaning crew applauded and steve thanked them. You walked closer to the piano and leaned on the sleek black lid.

"I didn't know you played."

"I only play for strangers."

"I was getting lonely upstairs all by myself."

Steve turned his eyes to the crowd, "Gentlemen, would you mind leaving us, please?"

The cleaning crew exited the room and wished him goodnight.

You chuckled watching the scene plays out, "people always do what you tell them to do?"

Steve grabbed you by the waist and set you right in front of him. You could hear the poor yowling as you slid through. Steve placed his head on your belly, wordlessly asking for steam of solace.

You ran your fingers through his hair and looked down on him, your face formed a quizzical expression. Steve looked up, and you could see the weariness on his face. The dinner that you both had just attended left him fatigued and he wasn't one to open up about his emotions, no matter how burdensome they are. so he'd rather project them onto your body and drain all the exhaustion on you.

He began untying the belt of your robe and you were still clad in your cocktail dress underneath. He loved that look on you, he took a few seconds to regard at the way the delicate fabric wreathed your curves, showcasing the indentation flawlessly. He lifted your dress and the graze of his touch left shivers cascading down your spine. "I guess so," you whispered.

Steve grabbed you by the back of your thighs, lifted you and sat you on the piano. the keys once again filling the silence of the room as they were nudged by your feet.

He stared at you longingly as he stroked your hair that was falling on your face. He slowly inched his face closer to yours and then he pressed his kiss onto yours. It wasn't anything demanding or coy, but rather... Passionate. The kind that accelerates your heartbeat, filling your chest with sparks and made you crave for more. He grabbed your face as he kissed you and then he moved his lips down to your neck, arising butterflies in your stomach.

The bathrobe around your body slumped on the piano, leaving you only in your lace cocktail dress. Steve caressed the shape of your body, and you arched your back for him. He skimmed his fingers from your chest to your belly until he reached your thighs. He spread your legs apart and he sat down on the piano chair, ready to take his time with you. He lifted the hem of your dress once more to allow himself more access, then he pulled down your lace underwear down your legs and sniffed the sweet scent that lingered on the material.

He then lowered his face to your dripping core, and he latched his mouth onto the flesh of your inner thigh. He nipped the skin with his teeth, trailing little love bites all the way up to your core. The roughness of his beard against your skin created tantalizing burn.

He dipped his tongue into your core and licked a stripe on your pussy and you gasped at the titillation. He kept his hands on your creamy thighs to prevent them from closing in. He lapped on your sweet, dripping nectar ravenously, before he moved onto your clit and sucked it, gyrating your head. You moaned at the stimulation as you arched your back again. You tangled your fingers in his dark brown hair and tugged on it. "Oh, Steve..." You whimpered as he kept on devouring you like a famished man.

He groaned at your taste, the reverberation shot electricity through your veins. You could feel your climax approaching, a bubble forming in your abdomen, ready to burst. And then Steve knocked the breath out of your lungs by shoving two fingers at once to your entrance without a single warning, causing you to sit up and you watched his thick digits dissipating in and out of you.

"Look at you leaking all over my fingers, baby..."

His filthy words fueled the fire within you, making you even more drenched for him. He kept pumping in and out of you, scissoring your walls for him. He curled his fingers, scrubbing the spot that erases own name from your memory. His thumb made a circling motion on your bundle of nerves and you sighed in pleasure, with your eyes shut, getting high on the assault perpetrated by his fingers. At that moment, he was all you could think about.

You were such a ravishing sight; mouth hanging low with your eyes closed tight, dishevelled hair and rumpled dress adorning you, incoherent noises emanating from your lips as your chest heaved rapidly. He couldn't resist the urge to slam his lips onto yours again, weaving his tongue with yours as your breaths fused into one, resuscitating life into each other.

You felt your walls clenching around him and you hit your peak after a few more fervent pumps. Your entire body was coated in sweat as you attempted to regain control over your breathing. Steve kissed you once more, trying to calm you down from the aftershocks. "Shh, baby, I got you," a string of your knotted spittle connected your deprived lips; aching for more of each other.

Steve pulled away and he stood above you like the powerful tycoon that he was. He watched the way your breathing laboured and he pulled down the straps of your dress low enough until your breasts were bared. He fondled them as the cold temperature in the room making your nipples hard. Steve played with them and then he wrapped his lips around one of them as he kept toying with the other one. His mouth latched around them like a baby sucking its pacifier.

You gasped, moaning in ecstasy. He moistened your sensitive nipple with his spit and the act clouded your senses with desire. You wanted him to touch you, anywhere, anywhere he could lay his hands on. He then abruptly stopped the onslaught and he unzipped his pants, pulling it down along with his briefs until the belt clanked as it hit the floor.

"You're so fucking pretty..." He leaned down to your ear as the tip of his cock nudged your clit, making you whine. "You want me? huh? You want me to fill you up with my giant cock?"

"Yes, sir, please..."

"Beg for it, pretty girl."

"Sir, please fuck me, I need you..." you breathlessly pleaded with your eyes shut.

Steve startled you by slapping your cunt, making you gasp and jolting you to open your eyes. "look at me and show daddy how desperate you are for daddy's cock."

"Sir, please! I need your cock so bad, just fill me with your cum, please!" You pleaded with your eyes, hoping that it was enough for him to grant your wish.

"That's a good girl. You're so pretty when you're eager for my cock, aren't you?"

You nodded and licked your lips, "yes, yes, sir, I'm your pretty little girl."

"Yeah, you are," he chuckled as he slammed his cock into your entrance, the intrusion nearly pushed you to the edge. He began moving in and out of you, driving his hips forward vigorously and pulled it back just to repeat the brutal motion. You tried to put your arms around his neck to hold onto him but he snatched them and pinned them above your head as he kept his gaze fixated on you.

"Can they fuck you this good? Huh? I bet you had to fake it just to get them off of you," he sneered. You knew exactly the meaning behind his words; the men that had paid you to accompany them to their hotel rooms and to have sex with them never gave a fuck about your pleasure. It was always about getting themselves off and most of them were jacklegs compared to steve.

Steve pounded into you as your cunt swallowed every inch of him. The friction that he created against your g-spot was tantalizing, your wails echoed on the walls of the lounge. Your breasts bounced with every harsh thrust and he loved the raunchy sight. He lifted your trembling legs higher around his waist as he sank deeper into you.

"Fuck, you're so tight, baby, such a pretty pussy."

His groans and grunts aroused you even more, filling your ears with pornographic sounds. You felt yourself clenching once more around him and the coil in your abdomen spammed once more, ready to break in any second.

"You gonna cum for me, baby? Gonna show me what a dirty little whore you are?"

You nodded fiercely as you whimpered. "Yes sir, I'm so fucking close."

"I know you are baby, you're gonna cum exactly when I tell you, okay?"

"Yes, sir!"

Steve picked up his pace and your cries grew louder. You didn't care about any of the hotel guests or crew walking on you or hearing you at the moment. You only cared about your impending release and obeying steve's commands.

The squelching noises that your cunt makes were obscene as he kept impaling you until you squeezed around him. You felt the familiar pressure building up again, ready to explode. And then the waves of your second orgasm crashed over you, setting your nerve endings on fire. You screamed out in bliss as your climax kept rolling with each one of steve's thrust to reach his own release until you had no more drop to give.

Steve kept rutting into you until his cock throbbed against your walls and he unable to restrain himself any longer, he pulled out and pumping his thick, sticky load all over your breasts and stomach.

Your body felt completely boneless as you laid there with your racing heartbeat thumping against your ribcage. You quivered as steve laid on top of you, tucking his face into your neck, breathing the musty scent of sex and sweat on you.

"I hope they don’t have any surveillance camera in here…" You spoke a few seconds after recollecting yourself.

Steve let out a low chuckle, and he left minuscule kisses on your chest and your chin and then he rose from your body.

"They surely would enjoy the show, wouldn’t they?" he proudly retorted.

He helped you get up and set you down on the floor. You fixed your dress and he picked up the bathrobe and wrapped them around you to keep you warm and covered. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder as you snuggled close to him on the way up to your room.

You knew that this was strictly business and steve had made it crystal clear several times in the last few days you had been spending time with him; that you were his employee, not his escort or girlfriend. He hired you for simply business matters and for the sake of good appearance.

But in the last few days you had known him, you had also learned many wonderful things about him that he didn't seem to share to a lot of people. You could see how the dinner that he took you to had affected him and how it evoked a memory of his father, which he claimed that he didn't have such a harmonious relationship with even until the day of his demise.

You didn't know where or how this was going to end once the weekend was over but right now, you just needed to rid your head of irrelevant questions because from the smirk on his face and the way he threw you against the wall as soon as he unlocked the door of your room, you knew that he was ready for a second round. 

[jui-imouto-chan]

Ouran High School Host Club AU (Inspired by this post)

Yes, I used everybody they offered as the characters (and more!), it’s just a really big club. 

(It will 200% get bigger if I keep writing this, don’t test me)

Ship Tags: MiyaHina, AtsuHina, OsaHina, OiHina, KurooHina, BokuHina, AkaaHina, TsukiHina, UshiHina, AoHina, HyakuHina, NishiHina/NoyaHina, Hinata Harem aka Hinata/Everyone. 

Loosely follows plot, but a few things have been changed to match Haikyuu more, such as:

•Hinata isn’t an honor-student, he’s on an athletics scholarship (and while there are plenty of decent athletes there, they’re all rich enough to not need a scholarship)

•Hinata wears blue-light glasses often. He has good vision but having the glasses framing his vision helps him focus in class instead of getting (as) distracted.

•Yachi and Hinata switch off on some Haruhi stuff but Yachi isn’t the one the guys are all simping for.

•Yachi is an actual honor student but she’s not on the kinda full-ride scholarship Hinata is on. She’s like, partially rich, but not enough for Ouran (so she gets bullied or at least teased.)

•Hinata and Yachi got to be really good friends at orientation since she can sympathize with him better than all the actual rich people, and she helps him with his studies so he doesn’t completely flunk his classes. 

•The Twins, like Hikaru and Kaoru, have the same color hair (brunette) atm

•Hinata’s mom is a drag king to parallel Haruhi’s dad’s sitch

•Oikawa doesn’t let Iwaizumi into the club because he kills his eccentricity and egotism. None of the others can vibe check him the way Iwa-Chan does so that’s why he seems even more unbearable and thus more Tamaki-like.

••

Hinata tried to figure out where Yachi disappeared to, peering down halls and into classrooms through small openings of the doors. “Yachi-saaaan...”

He barely registered the vague scent of roses and sweets saturating the air as he pushed the door softly. 

The wood swung open as though pulled, Hinata stumbling through with a shout. A breeze and rose petals drifted by his face as he opened his eyes, head whipping up to view the silhouettes of the boys not too far from the door.

“Welcome to the Harukou Host Club!”

“Th-The... --What’s a host club?”

Hinata watched as all of the boys’ faces fell into befuddlement. 

“W-What a funny joke,” a brunet, sat upon a throne-like chair, commented, his fingers interlocked beneath his chin. “Isn’t that cute? Trying to win our hearts with humor.”

“But--”

“So, what kind of guys do you like? We’ve got plenty of types to spare, and I don’t think any of them have any problem attending to a male--ah, sorry, what’re your pronouns? That was rude of me to assume.”

Hinata’s instinctive, “He/him,” came out before he could attach his protests at the services offered, his stress elevating as the brunet hopped out of his chair and sauntered over to him, hands extended in shows of eccentricity.

“We haven’t gotten a boy, yet, huh, ‘Tsumu?” one of the guys still in the group commented, his arm draped over the shoulder of his exact copy (sans the parting of the brown locks). 

“No, but that’s because the only boys we’re involved with are each other,” the copy, ‘Tsumu(?), said, grabbing the other’s chin to hold his gaze. They stared into each other’s eyes for a second before their faces got a little green, the two of them separating to mime vomiting whilst laughing.

Hinata had to tune back into the brunet approaching him, who seemed to be going off on a tirade about beauty and elegance. He tuned back out almost immediately, finding even schoolwork to be more interesting.

“’Tsumu and ‘Samu are awful at the twincest-schtick, don’tcha think?”

“Right? I thought so, too. We’d be ten bajillion times better at it if we were identical twins!”

The ravenette rolled his eyes, although he drew in the other smugly. “Identical or not, the reason we work is because I’m a good actor.” Then, placatingly, he amended, “And you’re not hard to tease and smother with affection.”

His silver companion’s eyes lit up. “Man, you’re so cool, Kuroo.”

“Make sure to call me Tetsu when there are girls here.”

“Oooh do I get a nickname? Like, Kouta instead of Koutaro?”

Kuroo grinned, “Don’t give me an offer like that. I’ll call you Honey or Beloved, and while we’re raking in the cash, Akaashi’ll sell a bunch of merchandise with it.”

Another ravenette, probably Akaashi, nodded calmly as he penciled into his notebook. Beside him, a tall blonde smirked, his glasses flashing menacingly as he tapped away into a calculator. Kuroo and the silveret both paled and protested at him, which he seemed to ignore.

Speaking of ignoring things...

“You’ve been talking a long time, haven’t you?”

The brunet, knelt on the floor near a table, glanced over at him like he forgot who he was talking at. “Is that praise of my oratory skills? I’ve always been told that people get lost in my speeches, and it’s no surprise that you’ve gotten so enthralled with one!”

Seems like I wasn’t the only one who got lost, Hinata thought, noting the despondent, glazed eyes of some of the occupants. A short guy with a patch of blonde hair jumped up into a handstand on the shoulders of one of the taller guys in the back with white hair, and it was made evident that, no, some of them just always appeared completely detached from reality.

“So, anyway, what kind of guy is your type, Mr. Athlete? Maybe you like the cool type? The boy lolita?”

“—I AM NOT THAT SHORT—”

“You are quite that short,” the brunette continued, “Or maybe you like the strong silent type? —We have three of those. We also have twins—identical and fraternal— if you’re into the taboo kinda stuff. We don’t kinkshame here.”

“Maybe we should,” muttered the blonde guy with the calculator. His mouth was covered by a silver-haired guy with black ends, whose face betrayed no emotion even as the blonde fought against his palm irately.

“I’m not into this kind of thing,” Hinata said quickly, “Besides, doesn’t it cost money? I don’t think I’d be able to afford something like this, anyway.”

“Speaking of not being able to afford things... Shouldn’t we check up on her?” Probably-Akaashi motioned to a corner of the room with a piano and a familiar blonde girl hiding beneath its bench, sobbing meekly into her knees.

“Yachi-san!”

Hinata raced over to her, her head whipping up at his call. Her teary eyes let loose some sparkling droplets as she leapt at him, although the rope binding her ankles to the bench prevented her from fully reaching him. He thankfully was close enough that he saved her from a tumble to the floor.

“Hinataaaa,” she whined into his shoulder, “I’m going to have to sell my organs!!!”

“What!?”

“She came into our clubroom earlier and broke the vase we were supposed to sell at an auction,” explained one of the twins.

“It was worth eight million yen, and she told us she doesn’t have enough money but that she’ll sell her organs in order to pay us back, which is impressive in the dedication but very concerning.”

“We had Wakatoshi-kun put her on the bench to calm down, but she tied herself to it because she thought she would be our prisoner as a punishment.”

Yachi clearly tuned them out, too busy crying and hiding in Hinata’s arms. The redhead patted her on the head, wondering how things could get this weird in less than twenty minutes of her being out of his sight.

“Yachi-san.”

No response. Her blubbers were even less coherent now.

“Yachi-san!” He shook her by the shoulders until she blinked up at him. “I’ll help you, okay? Just promise me you’ll be more careful. And help me with my homework again!”

“Hinata...”

He grinned at her and patted her head. When he turned back to the group of boys, he could see they parted somewhat to allow the brunet to be visible whilst lounging on his throne that was turned to face them.

“I’ll be taking on Yachi-san’s debt,” he declared. The brunet rested his cheek on his fist and peered down his nose at him, smirk drawing his lips.

‘Kuroo’ spoke up, “Hoh? All eight million? Are you sure you can make it up, Chibi-chan?”

“You couldn’t even afford a school uniform; how do you plan to pay us back?” said the blonde guy, eyeing his white-and-pink tracksuit with no lack of judgment.

“I’ll...” Hinata glanced back at Yachi, her eyes glistening, and steeled his resolve, “I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“Then, Chibi-chan, from here on,” the brunet guy’s voice, initially dropped, lilted upward as his amusement mounted, "You’ll be our bitch.”

“What.”

•

Hinata frowned at the smudges all over his lenses, ignoring the twins (both sets) measured him for his uniform. 

He almost didn’t notice when Kuroo bent down to meet his eye-level and gently grasped the frames of his blue-light glasses. “Alright, Chibi-chan, we’ll be taking these. Though it doesn’t even seem like you need them, huh, since these lenses don’t really have any magnification?”

“Well, no, but since we have a lot of work on laptops here I thought they’d be better to have.”

Kuroo hummed and slipped them off his ears and nose, and all of the twins gawked at him as he blinked up at them.

“What?”

Osamu kicked Atsumu’s calf, and the Miyas dragged Bokuto away with them.

“Nothing,” said Kuroo, “Maybe they just forgot you’d have a face behind these.”

“Oh, I’ve done that before! Like when people are sick for a long time and they wear a mask, I kinda forget they have mouths!”

“Yeah, just like that.” 

•

“What kind of coffee is this?” The brunet, now known to be Oikawa Tooru, asked, beckoning Hinata over with the most obnoxious “come-hither” motion to ever exist.

“Instant. I don’t really understand coffee, but this is what my mom buys. It’s just cheap enough that I still have money for lunch.”

Oikawa sputtered at Hinata’s lackluster funding for his nutrition, although his mind finished processing what was said about the coffee itself before he could really express any amount of disbelief at the former.

“What do you mean ‘instant’? Are the beans already ground or something?”

Hinata blinked. “Coffee’s made of beans?”

Oikawa sighed heavily and drew up to his full height, holding the coffee container skyward as a few girls approached for their hosting appointment.

“Alright, you know what? I’m up for a challenge! I’m going to try some commoner’s coffee!”

The girls in the clubroom gave shrieks of surprise, Oikawa’s announcement drawing the attention of the entire room. Hinata longingly and despondently stared outside at the people running around the track and beginning practices for their various sports, allowing himself to be dragged away by the club president.

“Darn rich people,” he mumbled.

•

Oikawa was very clingy, Hinata found. Every spare second he had at the club was spent with the other nearby, coddling him and encouraging him to learn up close. It was so draining that the Miya Twins and the Fraternals dragging him into their games was infinitely more appealing, but that could also be his bias for Bokuto coming into play. 

Kuroo was cool, too, yes, and the Miya Twins gave him food, but Bokuto’s energy was so perfectly aligned with his that Kuroo whined about his brother being snatched away on multiple occasions.

This time, with Oikawa monologuing as dramatically as ever, Hinata had no sets of twins to free him from the absolutely boring speech. He spaced out so hard, he didn’t notice Oikawa coming closer and hugging him to his chest excitedly. 

He shouted, the fright sending tears into his eyes, and he reached desperately at the tall trio nearby. “Help!”

All three of them instinctively drew closer, but it was the white-haired eyebrowless one who pulled him out of Oikawa’s grasp by the armpits, Hinata’s legs dangling in the air while the brunette sat stupefied. 

“A-Aone-kun, you didn’t have to go so far...” Oikawa tried.

Hinata smiled at Aone in thanks and patted his head gently to express further gratitude. Whence he was placed down, Aone bowed to him, and he bowed back.

•

Nishinoya was a very fun person to be around, although their interactions were sparse. He shone under the attention from the girls, and if Hinata didn’t know the girls were paying for his time, he’d have assumed the reverse was true. But it made sense, you know, since Noya-san was just such a cool dude.

The girls cooed at him and giggled at his jokes, and his dorky personality coupled with his small-but-wild looks made him a charmer. He also offered Hinata cake on a frequent basis, and often accosted the others to make sure they ate up--especially Tsukishima, who seemed prickly enough that Hinata didn’t want to get near him with a ten foot pole. 

Unfortunately, Tsukishima was also the one mostly in charge of handling his debt, so he could not actually be avoided. Hinata was assured by Akaashi that he’d remove any undue charges Tsukishima would add to the debt, although Hinata would’ve preferred he hadn’t said anything about those undue charges and just did the removals with Hinata none-the-wiser, as then he wouldn’t be paranoid about the things Tsukishima would charge him for.

•

Hinata hadn’t meant to attract the attention of one of Oikawa’s most attached clients. She gave off a weird vibe and when he mentioned her to Yachi, the blonde girl went a little paler than usual (which, while a frequent occurrence, didn’t fail to raise alarm bells in the redhead’s mind). 

“She’s territorial,” Yachi managed, eventually, and Hinata had to go through all of the lessons the girl kindly drilled into his head in order to remember what that word meant. 

“Oh. So why would she be interested in a guy at a host club? Isn’t he, like, one step from prostitution?” Yachi choked at that, shaking her head to fight down any amusement.

“I don’t think she thinks those other girls are a threat.” 

Hinata hummed, “Well, she keeps glaring at me, so maybe she’s just a little dumb and confused.”

Yachi pursed her lips, barely able to keep her laughter contained.

•

Hinata wondered why Yachi’s schoolbag was tossed into the pond. Alongside it sat his, and as he began running through the halls to go attend to the issue, he spotted that client. 

Hinata quite pointedly ignored her, continuing down the halls and stairs. He felt a small flame of rage light up in his chest at seeing Yachi’s notebooks scattered across the surface of the water, covers just buoyant enough that the papers were only starting to soak in water, and he prioritized getting her items out and organized before he could even ponder grabbing his own. 

He’d been in the pond for twenty minutes, thankfully having managed to salvage most of her things, before a voice broke through the quiet of the grounds. “What are you doing?”

Hinata didn’t need to glance over his shoulder to know it was Oikawa, his voice light and airy, with a hint of playful exasperation. 

“I can’t find my wallet.”

“You’ll get sick with your clothes all wet. Can’t you just let it be?”

Oikawa didn’t seem to understand the necessity of what he’d likely consider pocket change. “I need the money for food. I’m not going to get paid for a couple days and I don’t want to starve in the meantime.”

There was a lengthy period of silence. He wondered if Oikawa left, trying desperately to make out the shape of his coin pouch amidst the colorful pebbles lining the bottom of the pond. He nearly growled in frustration as a series of ripples tore through surface, though as he heard the telltale sound of someone wading through water, he spotted the brunette with his pants rolled up and bare feet gingerly resting on the stone. 

“What are you doing?” Hinata quarried, eyebrows drawn up in confusion. 

Oikawa’s face was concentrated yet somewhat peaceful as he copied Hinata’s searching motions, fingers gliding across the smooth pebbles. A few strands of hair caught the water and were left with shimmering drips that occasionally fell back into the pond. 

“I’m helping.”

He never turned to look away from the bottom, focused mostly on the task at hand. Even his distant, deeper, and yet airier voice conveyed how little attention he was giving his words, and Hinata could only wonder if this was the most genuine he’d ever heard the other in their past week of interactions.

“Why?”

“Well, why not? I mean, everyone tells me I’m dripping with good looks,” he chuckled, the breathy quality sending something through Hinata that made him duck his head down and resume seeking his funds.

The two sought it out for over ten minutes before getting any results. The small coin purse, shaped like a small black crow, sat cradled in Oikawa’s palm. He proffered the item to Hinata with a wink, the redhead unclasping it and sighing in relief at the dryness of its interior.

“Thanks, Grand King.”

As Hinata beamed up at the other, the reflected light from the water seemed to hit Oikawa’s eyes harder, as though a flare traveled across the distance between the earth and the sun solely for this moment. He held up a peace sign and smiled back at the other, wondering if such luminance could ever be reproduced. 

(If it could, then he’d love to bottle some up and save it for a rainy day, but maybe there was a hint of greed in that thought.)

•

“Oh, dear, I can’t believe someone would do such a thing!” the client across from him cooed. Her face tilted down a bit, and shadows draped across her eyes and cheeks. “Still, I can’t believe you got Tooru to scrape through that filthy pond for you. He always has been excessively charitable.”

“Yeah,” Hinata mumbled, stuffing a bite of cake into his mouth. The sweetness was significantly dampened by the presence of the girl. What was her name, again? His focus shifted to trying to recall it.

“I couldn’t imagine having so little shame that I’d be a charity case, though. I mean, doesn’t it embarrass you to have Tooru waiting on you hand and foot?”

Yachi, who’d been standing just within earshot, turned to their conversation just then, a disgruntled look on her face. Despite the anxiety that spread quivers across her body from her sternum, she frowned heavily and managed to inquire, "Aren’t you just jealous?”

Something flashed across the clients face then: anger, most likely. Hinata was drawn out of his attempt at recollection by her hand shooting across the table to yank him over to her, a scream escaping her as they toppled to the ground. Teapots and cups burst apart upon contact with the pink tiles, some of the tea soaking into the knees of his gifted uniform pants as it puddled.

Hinata’s palms and wrists ached from the way they slammed against the floor, on either side of the client’s head. People were quick to crowd them, murmuring and gazing in horror. 

“Help!” she cried, “He attacked me! He just jumped across the table, I--” she scooted out from under him, and he slowly sat back on his haunches before accidentally falling onto his bottom. The discomfort of his soaked clothing did little to distract him from the confusion welling within. 

She crawled over to Oikawa whence the brunette stepped closer to the scene. He was the first one over, ever keen regarding the club’s new pet, but only after surveying the situation did he close the distance. 

Her fingers clutched at Oikawa’s pant leg, creasing the fabric as she shivered with tears in her eyes. Hinata’s jaw was slack. Did he do something? Did he try to do anything to her while he was spaced out? He was sure she pulled him, but should he have been expecting such a thing and made to avoid it?

He slowly turned his eyes over to Yachi, whose face was creased in an anger he’d never quite seen before. Her meekness took a sideline to the frustration and disbelief drawing together her brows and tugging her lips downwards. 

“Tooru, please, you have to do something. He was like an animal, I--”

Her desperate face fell into shock as warm water rushed across her face and scalp, soaking the top of her uniform dress. Her panting became a squeaking staccato, and she blinked as her brows drew up steadily. 

“Tooru?” she whispered, before whipping her head around to the Miya Twins, who glared down at her, unimpressed. “What are you doing? Didn’t you hear me?! I--”

“God, you pigs sure like to squeal, don’tcha.”

Osamu glanced down at the jug in his grasp. “I oughtta grab another one at this rate.”

“Why did you--” Hinata startled as Yachi stepped in front of him. 

“You pulled him to you! I saw it! You were envious that he got Oikawa-san’s attention and tried to frame him!” she blurted. 

More whispers and gasps spread across their audience easily. Oikawa’s face was steely and impassive as the client stared up at him with a cocktail of hurt and anger. “You can’t believe her, Tooru, I--”

“You really are beautiful,” Oikawa interrupted, his fingers gliding under her chin.  “But nothing more than that. It seems you’re not classy enough for our club, my dear, and so I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks, Hinata’s heart clenching with a mild bit of sympathy, before she got to her feet and took off, her broken shout of, “Tooru, you idiot--!” echoing through the clubroom.

“I’m sorry, ladies; regrettably, we’ll have to cut our time short for today.” Tsukishima said with his paper-thin smile. It dropped as Akaashi continued for him,

“All of you will receive a full refund of the costs for today’s appointments. You can also use those same funds to reschedule, if you’d like to. We deeply apologize for the inconvenience.”

The girls cooed and cheered, and Tsukishima barely kept his frown from forming.

Eventually the clients filed out of the clubroom, exclaiming their farewells to the hosts. Hinata and Yachi silently stared after them, not wanting to look back to the hosts surrounding them.

“So, what should I do about you?” Oikawa said, drawing Hinata’s reluctant attention. The appraising look and grasp of his own chin were not reassuring at all; Hinata and Yachi glanced at each other and gulped. “Hmm, Tsukki-chan?”

“Don’t call me that,” the bespectacled blonde groused, before pushing up his glasses and smirking. “Since our guests had to leave and receive refunds, our profits for today are at a zero. And because of the drama earlier, we have a few broken teapots and cups from one of our specialty sets, as well as a table that needs to be repaired. To make up for all the damages and overall loss... Akaashi?”

The ravenette typed into a calculator quickly. Bokuto hid behind a sinisterly-grinning Kuroo with his fingers half-heartedly covering his eyes from fear of Akaashi. Akaashi presented the calculator screen within a second.

“Approximately one hundred thousand yen.”

“H-Hundred...”

“Thou...-sand...” Yachi’s eyes swam. Hinata caught her as she half-fainted, both of them shaking with tears welling in their eyes.

“That’ll be added onto your debt, you two. You’d better hope one of your descendents pays it off.” Tsukishima’s smirk shaved additional years off their lives, and Hinata had to pull Yachi’s soul back from the air to shove it back into her body. 

“Darn rich people,” he whined. Kuroo cackled.

••

That was fun ngl. Like, some things go slightly different than in OHSHC, but overall it has some of the same vibes I think

I feel like Bokuto and Akaashi as Honey and Mori respectively would be funnily fitting despite the roles I have them in here, but I think I’m gonna be fluid and loosey-goosey about who is which OHSHC character most of the time (since Noya isn’t entirely Honey-like and there are lots of people who can fit different roles). Kenma and/or Kuroo can fit Kyoya and Tamaki roles too, now that I think about it. Damn this show for having so many characters.

Also this is a nightmare to tag since a lot of characters have multiple spellings for their names and there are so many characters. Heck, that’s why I wrote all the ships at the top!

Anyway, I hope y’all liked it! Might write more if asked 

Also, should I cross-post some of this to Ao3? 

[out-of-jams]

Vesper || jjk

↠ Vesper↞ “There’s a first time for everything.”

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings/Genre: doberman hybrid!kook. human reader. explicit language. fluff. PG 13. one shot.

This fic is apart of The Hybrid Collab hosted by @jeonggukkiepabo​! A special thank you to Anna for bearing with my idiotic forgetfulness, aka me writing this and then forgetting to post it over my hiatus. 🥴 ᵖˡˢ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʰᵃᵗᵉ ᵐᵉ  (also it’s a lot shorter now than it had been when i’d written it bc sfw lol)

All works here are purely fiction. Everything I write is my intellectual property and therefore belongs to me. ©out-of-jams. Do not copy or repost without permission. That is illegal and you are stealing no matter if you give credit or not

Cold – adjective.

Definition: freezing your fucking ass off.

You were well acquainted with the word– all but became one with it– what, with how absolutely balls cold out it was. The line to get into Vesper was stretched all the way down the sidewalk outside of the building, and extended out of sight around the corner. Sounds of city life echoed through the streets, cars zooming in between traffic and music leaking out of the bars.

From the crack in Vesper’s backdoor, the beginning’s of a hip-hop song filtered from the expensive sound system. It was loud, eardrum-rattling so, and you closed your eyes, leaning against the brick wall off to the side. A cloud of white left your parted lips as your warm breath hit the biting chill in the air. It was too bad that you were nowhere near drunk enough for the weather not to bother you.

Why you’d chosen to follow your friends out in sub-freezing temperatures was a mystery. You hated clubs, how packed to the walls they were, filled with writhing bodies so close together like sardines. It made you feel utterly claustrophobic, but it was your friend’s birthday and so you couldn’t opt out of following along with the group’s plans for the night. Not that you were ever able to say no to them when they insisted on dragging you out to the place.

Vesper was a popular club that you were sometimes forced to go to, located in the heart of downtown that catered to not only humans, but hybrids as well. It wasn’t the first establishment to do so, seeing as how hybrids integrated into society more than a decade ago. No longer were they as discriminated against as they once were, back when they first came about.

No one was 100% certain on how they’d even come to be; some sort of radiation exposure. The first hybrids had been humans, before they changed, morphed. Due to some sort of exposure to radiation, their cells had multiplied and transformed over the course of a few weeks until half of their genetic makeup resembled animal genes.

While the blatant racism had died out over the years, some, the more elitist members of society, still discriminated against hybrids. Looked down at them because they were born to be ruled more by their animal instincts than their human counterparts. Treated them as less-than because they weren’t completely human, when they were really just misunderstood.

Because of the fact that they were more tapped into their animal side and therefore behaved that way, hybrids used to be seen as beings who could be let loose into society. Who could not “control themselves.” So they took them as pets, tried to tame and sell them.

Shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you fished a cardboard box from the inside pocket of your coat. The sound of you tapping out a white cigarette was in time with the beat of the song pouring outside, and blended in with the cars honking out past the alleyway. Normally, you weren’t one for smoking. But after the stress of college finals week on top of the feeling of the walls closing in on you back inside Vesper, you’d asked one of your friends for their carton in hopes of calming your racing heart.

“Shit,” you murmured as you scoured your pant pockets for a lighter and then groaned when you failed to find one.

Because of course, your luck was anything but lucky and you really didn’t feel like trying to part the sea of sweaty people back inside in search of one. Pursing your lips, you let your head tip back against the brick wall behind you and let your eyes flit over the light polluted sky like it somehow held the answers to all of your life’s problems.

“Need a light?”

The addition of a new voice had you jumping away from the wall with a startled squeak. Hand pressed to your chest as if that would somehow restart your skipping heart, you whirled around. Standing in the now wide-opened back doorway into Vesper was a familiar face. Well, as familiar as a practical stranger could be.

Beneath the single, flickering light in the alley, his black t-shirt with SECURITY printed in white glowed in the surrounding darkness. It stretched itself over his broad shoulders, the bottom tucked into the slim waist of his pants. Your gaze slowly slid up his tanned neck, past his coral colored, pouty lips, sharp jaw, and the straight bridge of his nose. His wavy, dark hair was parted a little off-center, the sides falling over his forehead until it threatened to hide his stare from your view.

Finally, your eyes met his. Framed by long eyelashes, they were a bright, inhuman shade of lilac. Not all hybrids were equipped with the features of one, like a set of sensitive, animal-like ears or even a tail. If a human and a hybrid got together and had children, those kids would end up possessing more human cells than animal. Therefore, their appearances mirrored that.

But they were never completely indiscernible.

Just like every other time you’d ever laid your sights on him, your pulse skyrocketed and your stomach fell through the floor. And also like every other time, you pushed the feeling away and refused to acknowledge it. Because harboring a crush on a man who you’d only conversed with occasionally was a bad idea.

Especially when they were as handsome as he was.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jungkook apologized shyly. His voice wasn’t too deep, nor was it high; lying right in the middle. Switzerland

“No, it’s alright.”

It was notalright, if only because the man made you feel flustered.

The only time the two of you really interacted was whenever he’d be scheduled to man security at Vesper’s entrance checking IDs. A small comment about the weather here, a compliment given with a flash of a smile with the reddening of cheeks there. Hell, the only reason you even knew his name was because it was etched onto the heart of his shirt.

“So,” Jungkook began, still standing in the doorway like some kind of club guardian. “Need a light?” He nodded his head at the unlit white stick tucked between your fingers, his parted hair brushing across his eyebrows with the movement.

“Oh. Yeah, you have one,” you asked.

He answered your query by pulling a lighter from the back of his pants pocket and finally slipped away from the door, leaving it open a crack so the two of you wouldn’t get locked out. The music flooding out from inside quieted down to a barely-there whisper. Pressing the cigarette between your lips, you almost faltered when he stepped close to you.

Jungkook’s body heat practically swallowed you whole as he entered your personal space with a cute smile pulling up at the corners of his lips. His two front teeth were a little too big for his mouth and you would’ve suspected his animal counterpart to be a bunny or rabbit of some sort if it wasn’t for his job. The small mammals tended to be pacifists and you doubted working as a security guard counted towards pacifism.

The lighter came to life with a clickand a tiny burst of flame, and you watched from beneath your lashes as he lit the end of your preferred cigarette. As soon as you felt the heat of the smoke sear itself into your lungs, a thought came to you.

“Wait,” you began, lowering the white stick from your lips to dangle from your cold fingers. “Doesn’t the smell bother you?”

Jungkook’s cheeks puffed up beneath the weight of another smile and he stepped back from crowding you to lean a shoulder against the brick wall. “My roommate, Yoongi, smokes. So I’m used to it.” He tapped a finger to his nose.

“If you’re sure,” you said hesitantly.

“I’m sure.”

Humming, you resumed your position of leaning against the brick, your shoulder only a few inches away from his. Hybrid’s tended not to wear perfume or cologne because of their elevated sense of smell, but Jungkook must have been wearing some. Or perhaps it was just the scent of his laundry detergent that drifted from his body like an invisible cloud.

It was comforting. In a way that you couldn’t quite understand.

Glancing at him out of the corner of your eye, you took a slow drag from your cigarette and made care to blow the resulting smoke away from him. “Ditching work?”

He was looking out past the alleyway and towards the busy street beyond. Jungkook’s side profile was stunning even in the near darkness. “Technically, I amworking.”

“Oh?” Your voice was filled with amusement. “Expecting someone to pop out from the darkness like Batman and attack the club?”

He snorted, his tongue darting out to wet his soft looking lips. “Batman would never attack a club.”

“There’s a first time for everything.” Shrugging, you sneaked a peak over at him again to notice him already looking at you. His violet hued eyes glowed brightly as they roved over your features appreciatively.

“How about a first date then?”

You sputtered, choking on nothing except air at his blunt words. “I–what?”

Jungkook broke eye contact for a moment, your reaction coaxing a light shade of pink onto his cheeks. “I like you. And I know we don’t really know each other, but we always end up running into each other, which is why I want to change that.” He looked back at you, expression soft. “If you’re interested, of course.”

“I..,” swallowing, your mouth opened and closed in shock before your tongue finally let the syllables slip. “I would like that very much.”

His answering grin lit up the shadows lingering in the alleyway.

[berrynarrybanana]

The Bucketlist Fic Challenge

Hello! 

I would like to introduce to you all ‘The Bucketlist Fic Challenge’. With the help of some very lovely friends and talented writers, this idea came to life. A sex bucket list with the man himself, Harry Styles. Each writer that I have spoken to has picked a trope/prompt to write off of and once they are all finished, they will be linked down below as a masterlist/series thing. I am so, so excited to see what everyone is coming up with for this and I am so thankful that they all wanted to be apart of this awesome idea. So sit back and grab a snack, it’s about to get filthy. 

thank you to @fromyourstrulyh and @harry-is-my-medicine for helping me with the rules and the ideas and the entire thing I love you both dearly and I am so excited to read what you’re writing!!

Also thank you to my groupchat babes who are participating and who encouraged this idea! @detroitkiwis @meetmeinfleetwood and @toothpastekissy you are all sweet angels and I love you!!!!

Rules and Requirements: 

1. Have fun with this! 

2. Send me what number you’re going to do so I can update the list. And keep this fun for everyone please don’t pick a trope/prompt that has already been taken. 

3. Tentative deadline is June 20! If your fic has been put on pause or you need more time, please let me know! I’m not going to exclude you if it isn’t finished by then!  

4. Please have all official prompt choices in by Tuesday, June 9

Taken Prompts: 

1. Face Sitting and Sex Tape @meetmeinfleetwood​

2. Sexy Photoshoot and Sex in the Kitchen @toothpastekissy​

3. Reading Eroitca with a vibe and Edging @detroitkiwis​

4. Quite Sex (Whisper-y) but Fucking HARD, Edging, Sex in Front of a Mirror @harry-is-my-medicine​

5. Angry sex backstage and elevator sex @fromyourstrulyh​

6.Sex at a Drive-In movie theater, cockwarming and against a tree@berrynarrybanana aka me lol

7. On a Boat @bfharry​

8. Strip Scrabble @narrymccartney​ 

9. Mutual Masturbation @goldenfeelin​

10. In Childhood Bedroom @idkthisisjustforfanfic​

11. Sex a friends party @stellarboystyles​

12. Sex on the Floor/against the door @trashmouthpogues​

13. Against The Wall @outofsstyles​

14. Tied Up @groovybaybee​

15, Naked Challenge and Spanking @soullikestyles​

16. Mile High Club @sweetcreatureinthedark​

17. Phone/Skype Sex @brwnskin-bunnyteeth​

18. Attempting to go down on them under a table in a restaurant @hes-writer

19. In a tent while camping with friends @bopbopstyles

20.dry humping @harryswatermelonsegment

21. Skinny dipping @avhrodite

22.sex in the studio @harryskalechips

23. Sex with a stranger @havethetimeofyourstyles

24. Alleyway sex @majorharry

25. Role play @psychedelicharold

Available Prompts: (I am now striking out the taken prompts so we don’t get numbers mixed up!)

In a tent while camping with friends

Mile High Club

Against a wall

Sex with a stranger (But he’s not a stranger, but you know...roleplay?)

Role Play (He’s a Prince or a Vampire or you know, anything in your wildest fantasy)

Naked Challenge (Be Naked all day but don’t touch, see who breaks first)

Phone/Skype sex

Tied Up

Sex on the floor/against front door

mutual masturbation

Attempting to go down on them under the table in a restaurant

In Childhood Bedroom

Spanking 

Sex at a Friend’s/Fancy Party 

Alleyway sex outside of a bar

Sex Against a Tree

Skinny dipping

Changing Booth Sex

Dry Humping

Cock warming

Sex in the workplace

Elevator sex

Sex in the studio

Send me a number if you want to participate! 

Happy Writing!

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander | Chapter 19

A/N:  IT’S VALENTINE’S DAY BITCHES!!!!!

February 14th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was packing her tote bag.  

Thankfully, the team had Valentine’s Day off.  Over the past few weeks she’d heard the guys talking about their plans with their wives or girlfriends.  John and Aryne were getting John’s parents to watch Jace while they went for dinner in Yorkville.  Morgan was bringing Bee to Alo for dinner, in his crutches and all – he wasn’t letting his injury stop him.  Jason was going to buy his girls each a bouquet of flowers and have a special night in with them and Jennifer.  It all sounded very sweet, and she was happy that, after missing New Year’s with their families, they were at least able to have Valentine’s Day together.  

Evan was coming over tonight and Kasha was cooking him a romantic dinner, so Aberdeen had decided she was going to camp out at her local Starbucks with her laptop and notebooks and work on her writing.  It was when she was almost finished packing her tote bag did a text come through on her phone. 

can u be ready in 15 mins?

Between William and Brendan, she’d just about had it with hockey players telling her to get ready in an absurdly short amount of time.

Why?

did u really think we wouldn’t celebrate valentines minskatt?

She almost dropped her phone on the floor.  She had no clue what he was thinking.  Clearly he wasn’t.

I don’t know what the custom in Sweden is, but usually you tell a girl if you’re going out on Valentine’s Day so she can look pretty

what’s the fun in that when i can surprise u with something plus u always look pretty its impossible for u not to

What if I already made plans?

Less than ten seconds later, her phone began ringing.  She snorted before she picked up.  “Hi.”

“You don’t really have plans, do you?” he asked, worry in his voice.

She looked at her notebook sitting on her bed, the one she was supposed to have packed into her tote bag before leaving for Starbucks.  Where she should be drinking coffee and writing.  Exactly like the stereotype.  “Evan’s coming over.  I was supposed to go to Starbucks and write,” she informed him.

William knew how seriously Aberdeen took her writing ever since she’d read a lot of it to him during their days alone during the All-Star Break, so he was genuinely worried.  “Do you think you can spare a few hours for a Valentine’s Day date?  I’m like two minutes from your place,” he said.  “But, uh, no pressure.  I mean if you want to write, you can go write.”

Aberdeen smiled, though she couldn’t see him.  His anxiety was a bit cute, she had to admit.  This was the first time in her life, she thought, that she made a boy nervous.  The last time she’d tried to use writing as an excuse not to go out, Zane got annoyed and pouty and forced her out to his friend’s birthday party where she had the worst time.  “I’ll meet you downstairs,” she said quickly before hanging up.

By the time the elevator took her down to the lobby, she saw William’s Volvo already waiting for her in front of the lobby doors.  She slipped into the passenger’s seat quickly, closing the door and immediately noticing how already hot and cozy it was in the car.  She looked over to William.  “Hi,” she smiled shyly.

“Hi minskatt,” he smiled too, a soft, confident smile on his face.  “You look beautiful.”

“Stop trying to butter me up.”

He leaned over the centre console and placed a kiss on her lips.  It was supposed to be chaste – supposed to be – but he should have known better, because once his lips were on hers it was endgame for him, and he kept kissing her and deepening the kiss for as long as she’d let him.  When she pulled away, she was smiling.  “Where are we going?” she asked.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Willy.”

He reached over and grabbed her hand, pulling it over to his lap.  “You’ll see, minskatt.”

Aberdeen digressed.  He put his car into drive and turned the corner to rejoin Adelaide Street.  He grabbed his phone carefully from the cupholder and handed it to her.  “Want to play some music?” he asked.  

Aberdeen arched her brow.  She took the phone from his hands and began scrolling through his Spotify.  During the All-Star Break, she’d added more songs to his “Minskatt” playlist, and they’d listened it as they sat around the apartment, or cooked, or did whatever it was they did for those three days – which was basically just eat and have sex.  She noticed a couple of songs had been added by him since then, too: ‘Ageless Beauty’ by Stars, ‘Cold Feet’ by Loud Luxury, ‘Honest’ by The Band CAMINO.  They all suited her and her taste in music so well.

But she had ulterior motives.

William waited patiently for a song to begin as he drove through the streets.  Every time he glanced over at Aberdeen, he saw her smirk getting bigger and bigger.  “What are you up to over there?” he asked.  “Are you destroying the playlist again?”

Aberdeen giggled and tapped the screen dramatically.  She waited.

When the opening notes of ‘Passionfruit’ began to play, William’s jaw dropped dramatically as Aberdeen burst into a fit of laughter at his reaction.  “What the hell is this?!” he demanded playfully.  “You roast me about my choice and now you play it?!”

“I never said it was a bad song,” she said through giggles.

“You are something else,” he said, pausing dramatically between the two words as he reached over and tried to pinch her on her thigh playfully.  She yelped but continued to laugh, grabbing his hand and holding it hers, like she was holding a baby bird.  “No extra meatball for you.”

Her eyes lit up at the mention of a meatball.  “Sugo meatballs?”

“No,” he shook his head, bringing his car to a stop at the red light.  He looked over at her.  “San Remo Bakery meatballs.”

She gasped dramatically.  “Willy, we’re going to San Remo?”

“Mhm,” he nodded his head.  The famous bakery in Etobicoke clearly had her heart, and he knew it would.  It was the first thing he thought of when he was planning tonight.  “You’re gonna get us whatever’s good and we’re gonna eat.”

Aberdeen wiggled excitedly in her seat.  She controlled the playlist and songs as William made his way to Etobicoke the long way – aka, not taking the highway.  He was perfectly content with taking King Street and The Queensway the entire way there while maintaining easy, fun, and interesting conversation with Aberdeen, who was suddenly full of stories of other Etobicoke establishments she’d haunt during her high school days.  She told stories of she and her friends packing themselves into a car to drive to San Remo Bakery in grade 12, making it back just in time for their afternoon class but smelling like freshly baked bread in the process.  She told stories of running through the streets of The Kingsway neighbourhood throughout university when she would go on jogs to clear her head.  She told stories of hiking along the Humber Marshes with her dad and traditional afternoon tea at the Old Mill with her mom and taking the subway back home to Royal York station after nights out with her friends in university.  She’d memorized the train schedule and knew that the last train going westbound left at 1:52am.  For all that she went out, she’d only ended up taking a taxi back home three times.

After every story, William would kiss her hand.  

When they were on Royal York Road, Aberdeen became silent as she looked at all the storefronts on the way to the bakery.  The sun was just starting to set, and even though it was the dead of winter in Canada, the night was clear and crisp, the sky starting to light up a mixed shade of orange and pink.  She looked over at William, his eyes illuminated by the setting sun.  For all her thinking half the time that he was so perfect she didn’t think he was real, she was reminded of his status by the beanie he was wearing on top of his head, the Maple Leafs logo glaring back at her.  

He pulled the car over to the curb right in front of the bakery.  Aberdeen could see inside, and it was pretty busy – like it usually was.  She looked at him again.  “Do you get recognized a lot when you’re out and about in the city?” she asked.

William shrugged.  “Enough.”

She looked between him and the busy bakery again, biting her lip.  “Then how about I go in and bring the food back,” she said sheepishly.  “That way it’s not…I mean we’re not seen toget—”

“I understand, Aberdeen.  It’s okay,” he said, kissing her hand.  

“I’m sorry we can’t, like, eat it inside or whatever,” she said sheepishly, knowing that it was because of her anxieties about being caught that they couldn’t be seen in public together.  Sometimes she wondered if he had the same, although she doubted it.  He was an extremely private person and didn’t let the media know about one iota of his life or who he really was as a person, but he was so carefree with her that she wondered if he let his guard down because his love for her blinded him or something.  

“Hey…” he said, leaning over the centre console again so he could give her a soft kiss.  “It’s fine.  I’m just happy to be spending the night with you.  Now go.”

Aberdeen came back with a feast.  A giant slice of lasagna (for him), gnocchi in a rosé sauce (for her, her absolute favourite), and two sfoglio cannolis.  When she got back in the car, bag filled to the brim, William was smiling.  The smell of all the food instantly filled the car and he almost melted right then and there.  “God, that smells fucking incredible,” he said.  “Alright, next stop.”

“What’s the next stop?”

“You’ll see.”

Aberdeen rolled her eyes again.  She didn’t have to wait long, though, because within minutes – seriously, the food was still steaming – they’d arrived at Prince of Wales Park, a small park on the edge of the lake with an amazing and underrated lookout towards the Toronto skyline.  The park was empty, with it being the middle of winter, and so was the small parking lot.  William parked right at the end, facing the skyline as the sun set over the city.  

Aberdeen and William looked at each other at the same time once he put his car in park, turning off the engine but leaving the heating on.  “You were planning to eat in the car anyway, weren’t you?” she asked.  

“Maybe,” he smiled mischievously.  

She took out the food.  William audibly moaned as he took his first bite of lasagna.  Aberdeen lay her back against the door as she forked some gnocchi into her mouth, sighing at the taste.  Between mouthfuls of gnocchi and lasagna and feeding each other little bits to taste, William began to speak, unprompted, just like she had on the way to the bakery.  He spoke about growing up with his big family in Sweden and the United States, going back and forth every year.  He spoke about skating on rollerblades in his backyard and hitting the corner of a barbecue while his dad chased him and needing three stitches.  He spoke about his mom cooking traditional Swedish dishes and his dad being the master of pickled herring.  He spoke about hockey and being drafted and moving to Toronto at eighteen.  He spoke about having to leave his friends in Sweden but being able to see them every summer.  He spoke about how much she would love Sweden, how he wanted to bring her there, how he wanted to show her their family place in Stockholm but also their secluded country house. 

After every subject change, she’d lean in and kiss him, and he’d taste like lasagna and she’d taste like gnocchi and it was all just perfect.  

When they finished the food, and had washed everything down with some water and put the empty containers back in the bag that Aberdeen tied up and placed at her feet, she looked at William once more.  Although everything was sweet, and perfect, and lovely, and everything she would have wanted out of a Valentine’s Day date, the fact of the matter was they’d just had dinner in a car.  Alone.  Because they couldn’t spend it in a restaurant together.  Because they were together, but they couldn’t be together – out in the open, at least.

“Hey Willy?” her voice was sheepish, her mouth speaking before her brain could tell her not to.

“Minskatt?”

“You uh, you know how we’re keeping all this a secret?  Like nobody on the team knows we slept together last June, and nobody in the world knows we’re sleeping together now, and the guys on the team think it’s all like…I don’t know, like you having a harmless crush on me or whatever?” she rambled.

“Yes…” William was unsure of where she was going with this.  

“So, um…what are we, then?”

He stayed quiet for a moment.  “What do you want to be?” he asked.  

“Nuh-uh.  I’m not making the executive decision here,” she shook her head.  “Either we make a decision together or that’s it.  We need to define what this is because right now we’re in this weird friends-with-benefits stage even though we’ve already said I love you—”

“I want you to be my girlfriend,” he blurted out, interrupting her.  “I thought…I mean, I’ve wanted you to be my girlfriend since the elevator.  I thought you knew that.”

She had a hunch, but she needed it confirmed by him out loud so she knew her mind wasn’t playing games with her.  “So…so we’re going to do this, then?” she asked timidly.

“Do you want to do this?” he asked, making sure.  “Because you already know my answer.  I think you’ve known it this whole time, you just hesitate to accept it because your judgement is clouded by the fact that we have to sneak around to love one another and be together.”

For Aberdeen, the answer was easy.  It was wrong, and it was immoral, and it was a blatant disregard of the rules she needed to follow professionally and the rules she should be following societally, but it was easy.  “Yes.  I want to do this.  You’re my boyfriend.”

“Then you’re my girlfriend,” William smiled.

“We have a bit of a problem though.”

“Besides the fact that this is against every company policy known to mankind and completely inappropriate?” he asked.  It made Aberdeen giggle.  “What’s the other problem?”

“Valentine’s Day can’t be our anniversary.  It’s too corny.”

William giggled.  He grabbed her hand and kissed it before he held it in his lap, his thumb gliding over her backhand tenderly.  “When’s our anniversary then, minskatt?”

Aberdeen thought for a few moments before she came to a conclusion.  “January 9th.”

William knew the exact date she was talking about and knew why she would choose that date to be their anniversary.  “Alright then.  January 9th it is.”

Aberdeen smiled, leaning back into the door, satisfied.  They had an anniversary.  They were official.  They were on the same page, regardless of whether or not they liked that page – that page being not being able to share their relationship with anyone or anything.    It wasn’t the best page.  But they both knew there were better pages ahead.  

A secret only they knew.

“What’re you thinking about?” William asked softly.  

“You,” she replied.  He smiled.  “C’mere,” she beckoned.  

“Come where?”

She abruptly opened the door, slipping out of the passenger seat and instead moving to the backseat.  William watched as she did so, slipping out himself when he realized what she was doing.  Once they found each other in the backseat, Aberdeen climbed on top of him and straddled his lap.  “You’re being very bold, minskatt,” William smiled.  

“Count your blessings,” she winked before leaning in and crashing her lips against his.  He reciprocated readily, however ‘shocked’ he was by her bold actions.  He was just as hungry for her as she was for him, and his actions showed that: his hands wandering along her thighs, grabbing at her waist; his tongue down her throat, biting her bottom lip.  They kissed so much their lips were red and swollen; kissed so much they were fogging up the windows.

Layers.  There were too many layers of clothing.  It was winter, so they both knew there would be, but it made things annoying.  They’d taken their jackets off long ago – William had his off when Aberdeen got in the car, and she’d taken hers off soon after, not bothering to put it back on when she ran in and out of San Remo Bakery – but now there was William t-shirt and hoodie to worry about, and Aberdeen’s sweater, and…

Aberdeen felt William’s hands go underneath her sweater and shivered.

“You alright, minskatt?” William asked as he felt her body shake at his touch.  

Aberdeen nodded.  She began kissing him again, grinding her hips against his lap, causing him to groan.  His hands kept traveling higher and higher against her bare skin until he reached her bra.  Aberdeen helped take off her sweater.  William took his off, too.  She could feel how hard she was getting as she grinded more in his lap, pressing her bare skin onto his and feeling his body heat.  Eventually, he pushed her bra straps down, kissing his way down to her breasts before taking a nipple on his mouth.  Aberdeen threw her head back.  “Willy…” she sighed out, the feeling of his tongue flicking against her nipple making her shiver again.  He switched to the other breast.  “Oh, Willy…” she began to pant harder.

She dropped her hands in between them.  

As Aberdeen stuck her hand down his pants, William stopped.  “Ab—Aberdeen—”

“Willy please tell me you have a condom somewhere.”

He huffed, looking nervous.  “I d…I don’t think I do—”

“What?”

“I wasn’t expecting this, minskatt.  I swear.”  Okay, so they couldn’t have sex.  But they could still have fun, she thought immediately, because there was no way she was going to stop now.  She was too far gone.  “If you want to stop I underst—”

“We are not stopping,” Aberdeen said firmly.  “I’m—I—help me pull your pants down.”

She started on her own, eagerly, but William helped.  She saw how hard his member was and grabbed it.  She noticed William’s sharp intake of breath.  She began to stroke him, looking him straight in the eye.  “D’you like that?”

William nodded.  He pulled her pants down, too, and moved her underwear to the side.  “I want to make you feel good,” he whispered.

“You always do,” she smiled.

He smiled back at her.  He began teasing her core before slipping one finger into her.  She gasped in pleasure, biting her lip as she moved her hips slowly.  “That’s good?” William asked quickly, only for Aberdeen to nod her head just as quickly, letting out a sigh.  She tried to steady her breathing as William’s finger began moving in and out of her slowly, curling every so often.  For her part, she kept jerking him off too, his grunts her fuel.

“D’you like when I touch you like this?” she asked, mumbling against his lips, biting down on the bottom one.  

He kissed her in response, sloppy and wet to let her know what he thought.  He used his thumb to start rubbing circles against her hot core, and the sound of her mewling out his name over and over again was driving him absolutely insane.  “More,” she whimpered.  “More, Willy.  One more.”

William slipped another finger into her easily and curled them both.  “Oooooh, fuck,” Aberdeen sighed out, along with every other swear word in the book.  She quickened her strokes of his cock and he grunted again, bucking his hips slightly.  They kissed for a while longer, both their hands working magic on the other, until she felt him buck his hips again.  “Are y’close, Willy?”  He nodded, unable to form words.  “D’you wanna cum in my mouth?”

Willy’s eyes bulged out dramatically.  “You’ve gotta cum first.”

“Willy—”

“You don’t hav—you’ve gotta cum first,” he repeated more definitively, curling his fingers in her again, making her cry out.  

“Don’t stop, then,” she bit her lip.  “I’m so close.”

William leaned forward to kiss Aberdeen, and with a few more curls of his fingers and circles of his thumb, she began writhing and shaking on top of him, moaning his name over and over and over again as she rode out her orgasm for as long as she could.  She buried her head in the crook of his neck as she came down from her orgasm, feeling his fingers slip out of her.  She watched as he brought them up to his mouth and sucked.  She was surprised he’d do something that bold, but then again, he had just fingered her in the backseat of his car after she’d initiated the entire rendezvous.  “Fuck, Willy.”

“Felt good?” he asked quickly.

“Felt fucking amazing,” she responded, trying to suppress her giggle.  With her hand still miraculously on his cock, she continued stroking, slowly at first.  “You ok?”

He nodded his head.  “You look so fucking sexy,” he mumbled, referring to how her bra was still pushed down and the red flush that had taken over her body after her orgasm.  It was his favourite sight to see.  “I love it when I hear you moan my name.  I…fuck Aberdeen.”

“I love how good you are with your hands,” she smiled mischievously.  

“I love how good you are with yours,” he giggled, sighing slightly as her thumb grazed over the tip of his cock.  They kissed for a while as she continued to stroke him.  “God, you’re so fucking good.  I’m not gonna last much longer.”

“D’you want to cum in my mouth?” she asked again.

There was no backing out of the question now, but William didn’t know how to respond.  Of course it would have been nice, but there was so much to consider.  “You don’t have to.  It’s okay.”

“But Willy—”

“—I haven’t even eaten you out yet and I don’t think it’s fair—”

“—But I want to, Willy,” she said, eyes wide and staring at him with a mix of fake innocence and real determination.  “I want to.”

He didn’t say another word.  Aberdeen kissed him a few more times before she shifted her position and took him in her mouth, sucking the tip of his cock.  William leaned his head back and watched through hooded eyes as she continued to stroke and suck, leaving him utterly speechless.  It was only when Aberdeen started to go deeper that he could feel his release coming, and he suddenly found his voice again.  “Aberdeen—” he tried to get out, but couldn’t.  She looked up at him with big eyes and he was ready to die right there.  “Aberdeen, I—”

“Cum in my mouth Willy.”

With one last stroke and a buck of his hips, Aberdeen felt his hot cum in her throat.  William moaned and repeated her name over and over, much like she’d done before, and tried to keep his eyes on her as she took every last bit of him.  His jaw was practically on the floor as he looked down at her, and she up at him, until he couldn’t take it anymore.  “C’mere,” dragged her up, planting a messy, wet kiss on her lips as they moaned together, William wrapping his arms around her protectively as he could feel his cock soften.  

They kissed for what felt like hours again, kiss after kiss after kiss, until their pace slowed down and their breaths returned to normal and they realized what they’d just done, what they’d just participated in together, willingly, in a car sitting in an empty parking lot of a park overlooking the Toronto skyline.  In about twelve hours, they’d be on a plane together en route to Ottawa, solely work acquaintances to everyone around them, keeping their secret close to their hearts.

“I love you, minskatt,” William mumbled, his head still a bit dizzy but his heart still full from what had just happened.  

“I love you too,” she responded, her chest rising and falling with her breath, her head equally as dizzy and her heart equally as full.

***

William couldn’t keep his eyes off of Aberdeen, now that they were back in the driver’s and passenger’s seat, on Islington Road heading north to get on the Gardiner Expressway.  She had a flush on her cheeks and a small smile on her face as she looked out the window.  The night was completely dark now, with only the streetlights illuminating the road for them until they got back into the city.  The playlist was playing in the background, but neither bothered to turn the volume up or change the song yet.

William drove slowly.  To have more time with her.

“Minskatt?” he asked softly as they were stopped at a red light.  Aberdeen turned her head to look at him.  “Being with you feels right,” he told her, his voice firm and with conviction.  

“Even though what we’re doing is wrong?” she asked.

William shook his head.  “That doesn’t matter.  I don’t care about the rules.”  He considered her words – how she admitted it was wrong – for a moment and got nervous.  “Does it feel wrong to you?”

“No,” she replied immediately shaking her head.  “Not at all.  But you have to understand that this…this is simultaneously the most wrong thing I’ve ever done, but also the most right.  I don’t know how to explain it.”

“I get it completely,” William said.  “But I don’t regret any of it.”

“I don’t either.”  Aberdeen surprised herself by saying those words out loud.  But they were true.  She didn’t.  She didn’t feel any regret.  “You…you know that right?”

William smiled softly.  He was very, very well aware how much she was sacrificing to do this – to be sneaking around with him – and he was very well aware of how, for her, everything hung by a thread.  Everything for her was on the line, everything, and she was willing to risk it all for him.  That was why he was so protective.  That was why he was so secretive.  That was why he tried his best to keep everything so low-key, to not have people catch on, and if they did, to not take it too seriously.  “I do.”

When she picked up his phone as he took the on-ramp onto the Gardiner Expressway, she chose another song, ‘In Your Eyes’ by the Weeknd.  William recognized the tempo immediately and smiled.  They moved along to the music, singing the lyrics together as they drove on the highway.  Aberdeen danced in her seat and William grooved from side to side as much as he could while still being alert and paying attention to the road.  Near the song’s end, Aberdeen grabbed his phone again and queued the next song.  

When the familiar chords began to play, the synth coming in and the beat loud and strong, William looked over to her and smiled.  “How did I know?” he asked.

“Did you expect anything less from me?” she asked rhetorically, giggling slightly.  

Midnight… You come and pick me up, no headlights… Long drive could end in burning flames or paradise…

Hearing her sing was one of the best things in the world to him.  Almost as good as hearing her talking about writing.  Almost as good as hearing her read her own writing.  There was such a lack of inhibitions in the way she sang and the way she moved, the way she didn’t care about facades or rules or appropriateness anymore, that made every lyric, ever hand motion, every movement and every head bop so endearing to him.  When she took out her phone and began recording the lights on the horizon, all the skyscrapers lit up in the crisp winter’s night air, he reached across the console and held her hand.  Hands that held the ring he got her on it.

Because he could now.  Without any reservation.  

And when Aberdeen smiled, all was right in the world.  

When they got back to her apartment, Aberdeen was reluctant to leave.  William had put the car in park but neither of them moved to say goodbye or do anything, really.  They were lucky that her street wasn’t a main street; that it was residential and tucked in behind two other, more major streets, so that they wouldn’t be honked at or bothered.  

“Have you packed for tomorrow yet?” Aberdeen asked, her voice quiet.

William shrugged.  “Just gotta choose a suit, really.  There’s nothing to it.  You?”

“Yeah,” she nodded her head.  “My suitcase is pretty much always ready to go nowadays.  I’m uh…Brendan actually gave me lunch time off so I can meet up with Siena.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  She’s even coming to the game.  Not in the press box or anything but she’ll be in a seat somewhere in the arena.  You might get to see her.”

William stayed silent for a few moments.  “Did you like tonight?” he asked.

Aberdeen smiled.  “Very much so.”

Some more moments of silence.  It wasn’t until William leaned over to give her a kiss that there was another sound.  “I love you, minskatt.”

She smiled into the kiss.  “I love you too, Willy,” she said, for what felt like the tenth time that night.  She put her hand on the door handle and pulled so the door would open.  She knew if she stayed any longer, they’d be there all night, either kissing or just sitting there in silence.  “Get home safe, okay?  Text me.”

He didn’t want her to leave, but he digressed because they both had an early wakeup time tomorrow.  He also knew that he’d be seeing her in a few hours again, anyway.  “I will, minskatt,” he gave her one last kiss before letting her go.

When Aberdeen walked into her condo building, it was like the concierge was waiting for her.  “Ms. Bloom?” he asked as she walked by the desk.

“That’s me…”

“This is for you,” he said, handing her a large manila envelope.  “Courtesy of your friend,” he nodded towards William, still waiting outside in his car until Aberdeen turned the corner to get to the elevator where he wouldn’t be able to see her.  

She furrowed her brows.  When…?  How…?  “Thanks…” she took it from him, thanking him politely before making her way towards the elevator.  Once she was in, she pressed her floor number and tore open the seal.

Inside, there was a valentine.  A poorly made and executed valentine, but a valentine nonetheless.  William had cut out a giant heart out of red construction paper.  He’d glued googly-eyes on it to make a face, glued pipe cleaners and cotton balls and stickers where necessary, and had even used glitter.  She laughed out loud – it honestly looked like a valentine made by one of her mom’s first graders.  When she noticed it was a card, she opened it up.  She saw, in William’s handwriting:

Jag tänker på dig när jag inte ens tanker

It was when she got to her bedroom that she punched in the words, with all their accents, carefully into Google Translate on her phone.  Again.  He was always making her translate things, although she highly doubted there would be a communication error this time around and think he was calling her ‘little shit’.  When the translation came up, her heart skipped a beat.

I think about you when I’m not even thinking.