#‘but my gods evil!’ you aren’t a cleric last time I checked

[ranger-danger]

Still do not get why people hate on rangers so much. Especially when they don’t even know what they’re talking about and only watched a 3 minute video about how “rangers bad because they’re not rogues” like no fucking shit they’re not rogues THEYRE DIFFERENT CLASSES FOR A REASON. Are you going to sit there complaining about how sorcerers aren’t wizards or warlocks? Or how paladins aren’t fighters?

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #338: Taisui Xingjun

if I can say one nice thing about taisui xingjun, it’s that lasengle went out of their way to make him feel very cursed. sometimes waiting for a servant to pop up in their event gives you cool new abilities to work with that aren’t part of their in-game kit, and sometimes they show up at the last second, throw out a vague party buff on for the last fight, and then fall asleep immediately. this time’s the second one.

thankfully, taisui’s not all that difficult a build, at least on the surface. he’s a Divine Soul Sorcerer, and that’s it! though to be fair, that class alone is really kind of mashing together two classes as-is, so he’s still not that simple.

check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

next up: make sure to like, comment, subscribe, and turn on notifications to see this build first!

Ancestry & Background

if we were being more objective taisui’d probably be a custom lineage, but it’s our build and I want him to be able to turn into his big form at will, so he’s a Changeling. with that, he gets proficiency in performance and persuasion, and his plastic presentation makes him a Shapechanger as well, so he can turn into any small or medium race as long as they have the same number of limbs, and you can’t turn into anyone specific without having seen them first. on top of all that, you get bonuses of +2 Charisma and +1 Dexterity.

finally, your background. you literally just sit there the whole event until like three deus ex machinas pile on top of each other to summon you into a vaguely human body, so that sounds like the Book of Many Things��� new background, the Rewarded, to me. that nets you proficiency in Insight and Animal Handling, as well as the Lucky feat for literally free. why anyone would ever pick a different background ever again, I don’t know, but now you get three luck points a day, and you can spend them forcing a reroll on any d20 roll directly affecting you and pick the better option of the two. whomst’d’ve the fuck thought putting that on a background was balanced.

Ability Scores

your highest score is your Charisma, because you’re basically skating by on your good looks and hoping that’s enough to make people farm the ungodly number of Cons needed for all your ascensions and NP levels. it is, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. second highest is your CON. yep, there’s a buncha them in there. third is Dexterity, because you don’t wear armor. like, at all. honestly this should probably be lower considering how easily you get eaten, but I’m trying to make a build that’ll survive level 1. after that comes your Intelligence, because the Con are quick studies at least when it comes to construction and video games, so they’re at least a little above average. that means your Strength is nothing to write home about- you’re a god, but you’re a kid, and your arms are kind of noodly. finally, we’re dumping Wisdom. as the Con you’re easily swayed, and as a god your tired ass isn’t helping anyone on watch duty.

Class Levels

1. as mentioned before, you’re a Divine Soul Sorcerer, which gives you Spells you cast using your Charisma. before we go into those, you also get Divine Magic, letting you pick spells from the cleric spell list as well as the sorcerer’s. you also get Inflict Wounds for free for your spooky shadow hands. I know taisui is technically true neutral, but his god form’s a god of curses and retribution, so I’m saying at the very least his powers are evil-leaning. speaking of, you’re Favored by the Gods, so if you fail a save or attack, you can add 2d4 to it once a short rest. whether being favored by this god is a good thing or not is anyone’s guess.

so then, spells! for cantrips, Blade Ward will keep your body in once piece for now, Morgan worked hard on that, while Chill Touch is another kind of spooky hand that prevents people from healing, which is pretty cursed in my book. you can also whip out your bell and Toll the Dead, dealing extra damage to injured targets, your you can curse someone with an Infestation, forcing them to move in a random direction if they fail a constitution save.

for leveled spells, Bane is a light cursing for a first level spell, forcing up to three creatures to make a charisma save. if they fail, every attack or save made for up to a minute gets a d4 taken away from it. we’re also giving you Mage Armor for +3 AC because we’re not that sadistic. even if taisui is.

oh, speaking of saves, you have proficiency in Constitution and Charisma saves, as well as Arcana and Religion. you kind of are a god, after all.

2. second level sorcerers become a font of magic! rn that just means u can cast another first level spell every day, like your new one, earth tremor! most of you is still down there, after all, just twitch a lil.

3. congrats! you survived long enough to get second level spells! now you can feed your party parts of yourself to aid them, giving them a bigger hp bar for the day! you also learn metamagic this level, so now your font of magic actually does stuff that’s important! you can spend your sorcery points to make a spell heightened, giving your target disadvantage to their save, or careful, automatically making the save for some of your friends! taisui’s got kind of a yin-yang thing going on between his feeding and his cursing, so this is the best of both worlds!

4. since ur kind of a nega-jupiter, you’re now a scion of the outer planes! yaaaay! since your god’s evil, you get resistance to necrotic damage, and you get chill touch again!

you can also cast mold earth to cover yourself up again, and you can cast wither and bloom! with this spell, every creature you choose takes necrotic damage, and one creature you choose can roll a hit die and gain hp back! it’s literally everything you do in a single spell!

5. fifth level, you have magical guidance, spend sorcery points to reroll checks, whatever! the important thing is now you can bestow curses! the phb gives some suggestions, but really you can do anything your dm lets you get away with!

6. sixth level divine souls have empowered healing, so whenever you or someone next to you heals someone, you can spend a sorcery point to reroll some of those dice, once a turn! i’m not sure if that works for life transference or not, but either way this spell makes feeding yourself to someone a lot more visceral. you take damage, and then someone else gets healed for twice the amount of damage you took!

7. you can now give urself an aura of purity, making friendly creatures in it immune to disease, resistant to poison damage, and they get advantage on saves against a buncha common status effects too!

8. at eighth level you get another ASI, so now you’re a Baleful Scion. that rounds up your Charisma and lets you pull people into the Grasp of Avarice- once a turn, you can add some necrotic damage to the damage you deal, which also heals you for that amount. your best healing spell so far uses your HP, so you need to fill that back up somehow.

you can also summon a Spirit of Death for an hour, making a floaty medium boy you can ride around on! you don’t even need to spend any actions commanding it or nothin’. it can only attack one creature at a time, but it’ll lock on to them and let you know where they are the whole time!

9. you can now make an insect plague! don’t misspell that, trust me. now you can make a 20’ radius sphere of locusts that obscure the whole place, and everything inside it has to make a constitution save or get piercing damage!

10. tenth level sorcerers have another kind of metamagic like extended, doubling the length of a spell you cast, up to an hour. you can also cast resistance to protect someone from a saving throw-related dangers.

speaking of saves, you can cast the most messed-up spell in the game, Contagion! if you hit your target, they have to make a constitution save at the end of each turn, working like death saves. after three successes, the spell ends. after three failures, you can curse them with a terrible disease for seven days.

11. at eleventh level, you can cast sixth level spells like Heroes’ Feast! after casting this, you can feed yourself to up to twelve creatures, curing them of all diseases and poisons, immunity to poison and being frightened, and they had advantage on all wisdom saves! on top of that, they gain extra HP, and all for a full day! just… maybe don’t tell them what the feast’s made of.

12. twelfth level, another ASI! bump up that Con for more Cons! it’s health, you’ll get more health. this is retroactive, remember, so you get an extra 12 HP this level.

13. thirteenth level sorcerers get seventh level spells, and its time to get real curses! with Divine Word you can hit any number of creatures within 30’ of you, forcing a charisma save on all of them. depending on how many HP they have, they’ll become deafened, blinded, stunned, or even straight up dead if they fail a charisma save. this also banishes any celestial, fey, or fiend if they’re not from around here, so that would make Dagon a real cakewalk. also, on the “instantly killing people” front, this gives you more than enough room to take out some poor bastard’s whole extended family.

14. your Angelic Form is a lot different than most people would expect, but you can still use your bonus action to fly around on your curse lump, with no limit on flight time!

15. eighth level spells! you can now Regenerate your allies by forcefeeding them a whole Con, giving them a healthy amount of HP immediately, with a trailing 1 HP per turn for an hour afterwards. two minutes into the spell any missing limbs grow back, though they can also instantly be reattached by just slappin ‘em back on if you got ‘em.

16. another ASI, another Con for more HP.

17. you can now use twinned metamagic, turning a single-target spell into one that hits two creatures!

speaking of single target spells, Power Word Kill’s a hell of one, ain’t it? if the chosen target has 100 HP or less, they die instantly! no saves, no nothin’.

18. you spent so much time putting Cons into other people, we almost forgot to get some Cons into you! with Unearthly Recovery, letting you spend a bonus action to regain half your HP once a day! big heal energy.

19. one last ASI before the build finishes! with the Tough feat, it’s like you ate two Cons at once, giving you an extra 38 HP now, plus another two next level.

20. at level twenty you get the sorcerer’s capstone, Sorcerous Restoration! every short rest, you get four extra sorcery point!

…yeah there’s a reason we usually multiclass.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

you have an amazing Con-stitution for a caster, giving you way more HP than most would expect of you. having a healer that doesn’t die easy is super helpful. this also means you have great con-centration. your more powerful spells don’t need it, but dropping a spell always hurts.

not only are you a great healer, you’re great at making other people heal too! you also have access to some strong defensive buffs like heroes’ feast, aura of purity, and resistance. also, being able to grow back limbs can be pretty useful!

you also dish out devastating debuffs, destroying enemy defenses with divine words, curses, and disease.

Cons:

yep, there’s a lotta them in there.

(but seriously, a lack of direct attacks drags fights out, the sorcerer capstone sucks)

[anistarrose]

Chapter Summary: Barry gets a job offer. Kravitz sees a new side of the moon. Taako has a long-overdue chat with his umbrella.

Characters: Kravitz, Taako, Barry Bluejeans, Angus McDonald, Magnus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, Noelle | No-3113, The Raven Queen, The Director | Lucretia, misc. BoB cameos, Julia Burnsides, Garyl

Relationships: Taakitz, Angus McDonald & Taako, Barry Bluejeans & Kravitz, Kravitz & Angus McDonald

Lately, I’ve been thinking of this fic as a story told in two acts. They’re not necessarily going to be equal in length, but this chapter is definitely the end of Act One.

***

“That’s basically the whole story, Your Majesty,” Kravitz concluded, after several minutes of talking at speeds that no being who needed to breathe could hope to match. Barry and Noelle stood on either side of him, mustering the most innocent expressions he’d ever seen on the faces of a lich or a robot, respectively. “Not that I’d blame you for having follow-up questions, because… well, holy shit.”

Holy shit, indeed, the Raven Queen agreed. A projected image of her visage was floating above a circle of five perfect raven feathers, having been carefully arranged on the cave floor by Kravitz. Istus said we were approaching unprecedented times, but…

She sighed. Well, I must admit that with the apparent exception of Istus, we gods hardly think about what lies outside our planar system. It’s… inconvenient, uncomfortable, how we hold so much power in this world yet understand so little about what’s beyond it. This threat, this Hunger, is news even to me — but didn’t you already know that, Barry, from all the Celestial Planes you’ve seen invaded before?

Barry nodded. “Yeah. I never saw stuff like that directly, of course, but Merle’s a cleric, so… he had his ways of knowing it was never a pretty picture.”

The Raven Queen let out a sigh, like wind escaping from beneath a whole flock’s wings. Then I have more important things to do than reconcile your undeath with the laws of this world, and you have more important things to do than defend yourself to me. Barry, Noelle, you are free to go at least until the apocalypse is averted — but if we get through that, and only then, I’d like you to start thinking about accepting jobs in the Astral Plane. Whatever state the world is in after the Hunger arrives, Kravitz and I will probably need your help.

Barry went dead silent, while Noelle’s whole display lit up with excitement.

“Are we talking afterlife office jobs,” she asked, “or something more along the lines of what Kravitz does?”

“We’ve got plenty of open positions, honestly,” Kravitz explained. “You could probably pick either.”

“Huh,” Barry finally muttered, so soft that Kravitz could’ve missed it. “I — I appreciate the offer, but — I gotta know one thing before I even consider it. Will I have to — to bring in any of my family? Anyone from the Starblaster?”

I’d like to speak with them all eventually, and I may ask you to facilitate that, the Raven Queen replied, but they won’t be punished.

Barry nodded. “Okay. That’s… that’s something I’m willing to consider, then.”

I hope you find out what happened to Lup. Her location is concealed from even me, but I know she’s never entered my domain, so I believe you’ll find her out there somewhere.

Barry’s eyes flickered, shedding drops of light that ran down his face for a few seconds before they coalesced back together. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

It’s the least I could do. From here, my priority shall be to warn the rest of the pantheon, but we’ll be in touch. The Raven Queen’s visage disappeared with a clap of thunder and a gust of wind that lifted the feathers into the air, carrying them back to Kravitz’s waiting hands as her voice boomed throughout the cave one last time. Good luck, my children.

“That went well, right?” Noelle asked when the echoes faded. “That felt pretty good for a conversation with the death goddess.”

“She’s a lot more reasonable than most gods, I think you’ll find,” Kravitz concurred. “But what’s the plan now? Because other than heading up to the moon, and bringing the boys back down for you to tell them what little you can, I haven’t got a lot of ideas.”

“I dunno either. I don’t like keeping them in the dark either, but it’s very little we can tell them aside from —” Barry paused. “Wait. You can go on the moonbase?”

“Yes? At least, no one’s tried to stop me. I guess I can see why you wouldn’t be allowed up there, but —”

“It’s more than a ban and a wanted poster keeping me off! It’s an anti-undeath ward —” Electricity crackled inside Barry’s silhouette, and he let out a laugh that could’ve woken the not-yet-reanimated dead. “But you, Kravitz, apparently possess enough celestial energy to balance out the undead elements of your soul — which is perfect! It changes everything!”

“Uh,” Kravitz began, reflexively taking a step back, “I think I’m missing some context here —”

“That ward’s the only thing stopping Barry from sneaking onto the moonbase and stealing the ichor he needs to inoculate his family!” Noelle explained, totally unperturbed by Barry’s mad scientist laugh. “I couldn’t steal it for him because the same ward keeps me from leaving my fuse for very long, and this robot body’s not exactly stealthy — but you can decorporealize for as long as you want on the moon, right?”

“I’m not sure I’ve actually tried,” Kravitz replied, rubbing his chin as the puzzle pieces fell into place, “but I’ve never had issues getting through anti-undead wards before, corporeally or otherwise!”

Barry rubbed his hands together, smoke and sparks pouring out from between them — but for the first time, Kravitz was sure he saw a glint of a smile flash on Barry’s face.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Barry asked. “Let’s head back to my place and plan a heist!”

***

“So what do we do now, Fantasy Columbo?” Taako asked, staring at the Umbra Staff in his hands. “I didn’t hear any jingles start playing for solving some sick higher power’s umbrella lich puzzle — how does this help us? What does it change?”

This should have been a revelation, Taako knew. This should have changed everything. But his mind was lagging behind his racing heart, struggling to fit together puzzle pieces that he knew should connect. Struggling to understand why he cared so fiercely about an evil ghost of an evil wizard being trapped in the arcane focus he’d looted her corpse for.

“I�� I guess we should try to communicate with her?” Angus suggested. “She’s a Red Robe, so she must have something to do with —” He gestured wildly from his notepad, to Taako’s head, to the incinerated coffee table. “With all of this. Right?”

He removed his glasses, wiping off drops of sweat, and Taako realized that Angus, the smartest person he knew, had ran into an uncomfortable mental wall of his own — and after just a split second of looking at Angus’s pained expression, Taako made a decision.

“Hey, kid. I need your arguably expert opinion real quick — Magnus and Merle aren’t smart enough to be memory-wiping masterminds, right?”

“Oh, absolutely not, sir. We both know they’re no good at keeping their lies straight.”

“Could you check in on them for me? And try to bring ‘em back here — but, uh, only if you can do it without Lucretia or Davenport spotting you, and I need you to really focus on looking out for them. I don’t know who else I can trust with this —”

With a huge, determined smile on his face, Angus saluted. “I won’t let you down, sir!” He looked far less pained as he slunk out of the room, and Taako breathed a sigh of relief.

“Okay. Kid’s gonna be alright with his mind off of this, and now we can have some peace and quiet, Lup.” His mouth lingered on the name Lup but his mind didn’t, giving no thought to the affection he instinctively voiced. “So… let’s chat?”

***

Lucretia’s office looked just as Barry had described, and not all that different from the Reclaimer’s dorms in terms of architecture. The sole occupant was not the Director herself, but a mustached gnome man who sat at the oversized desk, focusing intently on a game of solitaire. He didn’t even look up as Kravitz’ soul drifted past, steering clear of the desk and floating right through a heavy, closed door.

Kravitz kept inside the left wall of the corridor — Barry may not have reported any traps in this stretch, but the puzzle that Barry had reported was nowhere to be seen, and Kravitz knew a suspiciously empty-looking hallway when he saw one. He phased through a second door at the end of the chamber, ignoring the computer that looked even more foreign to him than his Stone of Farspeech, and recorporealized inside a second office.

This close to the source of the ward, a spinning disk imbued with radiant energy, Kravitz could finally feel its influence — a faint burn and refreshing cold that coexisted, an antipathy towards his undead body and a resonance with the Raven Queen’s blessing. Tempted as he was to knock down the disk and short-circuit the ward, it wasn’t poised do much besides mildly distract him, and he was making this visit with a much different goal — one that he’d expose, if he ended up dramatically trashing someone else’s holy symbol.

At the far end of the office sat a murky tank, and above that tank, an alarm was ringing. A few feet to the alarm’s left, a needle punched holes in a steadily scrolling paper, recording what Kravitz inferred to be times and intensities — and there was a lot of information to infer from, because the paper output had not just reached the floor, but piled up to almost waist height.

A massive volume of alarms had clearly been accumulating, and someone — presumably Lucretia — was far too busy to check on every message. Ever since he’d died, Kravitz had been notoriously bad at keeping track of dates, but a quick comparison with the dates at the bottom of the pile and the dates of the current output revealed that the alarms had started trickling in last night, before a massive influx took shape only about an hour ago.

This was all very interesting to the part of Kravitz that loved a good mystery, but his pragmatic side won out, knowing this alarm could attract unwelcome attention at any moment. He switched his attention to the contents of the tank — which appeared just like Barry had said it would, but was still plenty fascinating. A jellyfish floated in murky ichor, illuminated from within by a dark purple nebula pattern, and recoiling away from Kravitz as he rested a hand atop the tank.

“Now, now. It’s alright,” Kravitz murmured, in the same tone he might use to calm a distressed soul. “No need to be scared…”

The baby Voidfish hummed two chords, far lower and louder than Kravitz had expected from such a tiny creature — but music, at least, was something Kravitz knew he could work with. He summoned his scythe in the form of a lute, plucking out a peaceful melody he’d been fond of for hundreds of years… and only a few bars in, the Voidfish began to echo him, humming along with increasing volume.

“I’m just here to do my friends a favor,” Kravitz promised. “It won’t take long at all.”

The Voidfish seemed to relax, so Kravitz let go of his lute, allowing it to float at his side with a faint blue aura suspending it in air. He pulled a canteen from beneath his cloak, slowly submerging it in the tank until it was full to the brim with ichor — probably a slight excess, but he’d rather have too much than not enough.

“See? All done,” he whispered, reattaching the canteen’s cap. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

The Voidfish hummed the refrain of his song once more as he reformed his scythe, and as if to say farewell, waved a tentacle in his direction as he stepped through the portal off the moonbase.

Just a moment later, the very second Kravitz’s feet hit solid subterranean ground, Barry was at his side with a barrage of questions. “How did it go? Have you got the ichor? Did anyone see you?”

“Good, yes, and no in that order,” Kravitz replied, handing Barry the canteen. “The only thing I’m worried about is… well, you’ve seen how Lucretia has an alarm system in her office, right? It’s going a little haywire right now — and has been since last night.”

Barry’s relief morphed into frustration mid-relieved sigh. “I was hoping we could avoid that, since the boys haven’t had a run-in with me in a couple days — but I guess someone’s still trying to remember something, and it won’t be long ‘til Lucretia picks up on it. We gotta get a move on.”

“I did talk to Taako about the stars disappearing last night, come to think of it,” Kravitz recalled. “I hope he’s not still hung up on that, but it sounds like he might be.”

“Shoot, that coulda done it. No fault of your own, obviously.” Barry sighed again, picking up a couple of scrolls from his desk and placing them on a much more neatly organized bookshelf. “Sorry for the mess, by the way. You and Noelle have been my only visitors so far this whole decade.”

Kravitz had seen Barry’s home before he left for his heist on the moon, and it had already been pretty respectable as secret lairs went. Aside from the stalactites and the dubiously legal cloning pod, it had looked more like a disheveled academic’s study than a necromancer’s dungeon — but in Kravitz’s absence, Barry had apparently gotten up to some spring cleaning. He’d draped a sheet over the pod, which was still glowing bright green and far from innocuous, and somehow gotten his hands on a decent-quality couch, either from a pocket dimension or a conjuration spell or gods knew what else.

“Before you got involved, my plan never involved the boys coming in here while they could remember me,” Barry admitted. “They’d still be far from seeing me at my worst, but — well, I dunno if I can make this place look welcoming, exactly, but I’d rather not make them worry about me ‘cause of it.”

“If it helps, this is easily the nicest cave I’ve ever seen a lich holed up in,” Kravitz said, which got a quiet laugh out of Barry.

“Yeah, I bet it is.” He opened the canteen, pouring a modest sample of the ichor into a glass vial. “Hard to believe this is happening so suddenly, but… I think now’s the time. Lucretia could catch on at any minute, and I — I’ll be ready by the time you get back, I think.”

“Good luck remodeling,” Kravitz told him with a nod, and tore open a portal back to the moon.

***

“So… let’s chat?” Taako suggested. He didn’t know what kind of reply he was expecting, but he had to admit it stung when the Umbra Staff didn’t move an inch.

“Okay, what you do isn’t exactly chatting. That one’s on me. Can you just give me a sign, a little poltergeisting or something, if you’re listening?”

Still nothing, which continued to hurt more than it should have.

“Are you mad at me? I thought you smacked me in the face today to get my attention! ‘Cause you wanted to talk, but…” He glanced away from the umbrella in his lap. “I guess you really hate Kravitz, don’t you? And I was helping him hunt you, even before we started dating…”

He sighed. “And you’re only here because I stole from your grave! What was I even thinking? Of course you hate me, and maybe I half-deserve it —”

The Umbra Staff twitched in his hands, subtly yet so abruptly that he jumped to his feet with a yelp and dropped it onto the floor. It spun over ninety degrees as it fell, landing to point at the shelf of seldom-used spell components that Taako and Merle shared.

“You… want me to cast something?” Taako knelt on the rug, gently wrapping a hand around the handle but not raising the umbrella from the floor. He didn’t feel even the slightest movement. “Hey, if you’re not mad at me, then… do something. Do anything.”

He thought the handle might’ve trembled slightly, but wasn’t sure — it could’ve just been wishful thinking. “Okay, flip side. Do something if you are mad at me.”

This time, he was certain there was no response. “Okay, I’ve narrowed it down to either ‘you’re not mad’ or ‘you don’t want to talk to me,’ but I don’t get why you’re being so subtle about this. I mean, I’m not asking you to cast Sunbeam on my boyfriend again, but I know you could be giving me more obvious signs than —”

He happened to glace back at the component shelf, noticing the chest of spare wands he’d stockpiled — arcane foci, just like the ones the Umbra Staff consumed — then just like that, it clicked, and there was finally one quirk of his rogue umbrella that Taako had an inkling of an explanation for.

“Unless… you can’t give me a bigger sign because I haven’t beaten a magic user in a while!” he gasped. “You’re not trying to ignore me — you’re running out of power!”

He unlatched the little chest, grabbing two cheap wooden wands and snapping them both — and sure enough, the Umbra Staff inverted with more vigor than Taako had seen from it all day, swallowing them whole.

“Better?” Taako asked, and a tiny pink flame sparked to life at the tip of the umbrella. Lup must’ve summoned it with a variant of Prestidigitation, because it smelled less like smoke and more like comforting home cooking.

“Now I know why you chose me instead of Merle at the cave! You’re an adoring fan of Sizzle it Up!” Taako teased, and the Umbra Staff bonked him on the head. “Okay, fine, maybe not. Gods know that’s not the only thing I’ve got going for me over Merle.”

He glanced around the room, rubbing his chin. “I was going to say you could turn that flame on and off real fast, send me a message in Fantasy Morse Code, but then I remembered I don’t actually know Fantasy Morse that well. Maybe you could, like, burn something into the wall —”

The flame atop the Umbra Staff intensified, excited.

“But I guess we’d run out of space real fast — never mind explaining it to Lucretia, yikes! We’d be toast… just like the walls.”

The flame died down, replaced with a disembodied, glowing red Mage Hand. With an upturned palm, it made a motion that Taako guessed was meant to convey a shrug and a then what?

“Oh, you didn’t tell me you could do Mage Hand from in there too! I can work with that!”

He made a beeline for the dorm kitchen, ripping open a fresh bag of flour and dumping it directly onto the counter. “I really don’t wanna leave written evidence, so you write stuff in this, and I’ll erase it when you’re done. Sound good?”

Lup squeezed his shoulder, then traced four words in the flour.

I’ve never hated you

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Taako muttered, pretending he couldn’t feel his whole chest seizing up. With a bare hand, he wiped the flour flat, and only sent a little flying onto the floor accidentally. “I… I wanna let you out. Because this is a really inconvenient way to talk, but — but also ‘cause I know you didn’t mean to get trapped in there, and living inside your arcane focus sounds like it’s the pits. Is there a way I can free you?”

yes but not right now

“Why not?”

no liches on the moon

“Oh, have they got wards to block you off or something? I guess we wouldn’t be able to talk at all if I freed you, and that… that wouldn’t be great.”

I’d miss you :(

“Yeah, I can imagine,” Taako replied, and he said it before he meant it. The figure of speech slipped out right away, ingrained after years of overwhelmingly insincere conversations, but his emotions caught up to him more slowly — starting with the loneliness and the longing, before they ate away at him and left an emptiness behind, a dread of never being whole again and a temptation to tear the whole world apart, because what would he have left to lose?

It ended with a throbbing skull, with static clouding the peripheries of his vision, with a mind that couldn’t fathom why missing someone would hit so close to a home that should have never existed. The last year notwithstanding, he couldn’t remember a time where he’d be caught dead missing someone’s company… but now all he could think, all he could feel, was I’m not losing you again.

“There’s gotta be a workaround — right, Lup?” he managed. “Like, is there a way I could take the wards down?”

maybe, but

Lucretia would notice

“I’m gonna go out on a limb, and assume… she wouldn’t be too thrilled to know you’re here.”

Lup took longer to reply than usual, erasing the first few letters of her response to start over several times.

it’s so complicated

don’t think I can explain

“Right. Of course. ‘Cause of the Voidfish.” Taako rubbed his cheek, expecting to wipe away stray splotches of flour — but instead, he felt his fingers grow damp with tears that he knew weren’t just from the pain of his headache.

“I — I don’t know what to do, Lup. I want to help you, but Kravitz is probably in danger because of me so I have to make sure he’s okay, and I know he won’t like me helping you — then there’s Angus and Magnus and Merle, too, I have no clue if any of them are in as much trouble as us. And I just… I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to this. That the worst of all the bombshells still hasn’t dropped, and I’m about to lose all you while I still don’t know who I am, or who I can trust besides —”

The fingers of Lup’s Mage Hand interlocked with his, and it was a strange sensation — fuzzy and only about half-tangible, as simple magic constructs were expected to be, but warm like a living hand despite the lack of flesh and blood. Taako couldn’t say how long he was silent, just focusing on just that warmth and the inexplicable nostalgia that accompanied it, before he finally asked: “What do you think I should do?”

Lup withdrew her hand slowly, but didn’t hesitate nor erase as she traced four new words:

find Barry

trust Barry

“…I’m glad I’ve got you, Lup, ‘cause I never woulda come up with that on my own,” Taako muttered, chuckling in spite of himself. He didn’t doubt for a second that Lup’s advice was worth following, but he had to admit it was ridiculous how every time a problem came up in his life, someone insisted it could be solved by tracking down a denim-clad lich. “Do you know any of his favorite hangouts, or —”

As Lup’s Mage Hand zipped back into the Umbra Staff, Taako didn’t quite notice the scythe rending space behind him, but he whirled around at the sound of feet hitting the ground and an incredulous voice speaking up.

“Uh, Taako?”

Kravitz carried himself with considerably less poise than usual, wearing a tattered suit that had presumably once seen better days, but he appeared otherwise unscathed, and Taako’s heart jumped for joy.

“I — I — I’m sorry?” Kravitz’s words sounded less like an apology, and more like a sincere question of whether or not he should be sorry for intruding. “I should’ve just portalled to the hallway and knocked. I didn’t mean to walk in on — on whatever this is —”

Before he could stammer another adorably confused word, Taako rushed in for a hug — never mind how crazy he knew he looked, covered in flour and inexplicably teary-eyed over an umbrella.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe — I was so worried about you. I thought for sure you were in trouble and it was all my fault — it was all because —”

Kravitz slipped a cool, but unusually not cold hand under Taako’s hat, mussing up his hair to match the rest of his appearance. “I won’t lie, Taako — there were moments today where I was worried for me. But it turned out to all be a misunderstanding, which is always a pleasant surprise in my line of work — and even better, if you can believe it, one of my new friends knows what’s up with those deaths you can’t remember!”

Kravitz was beaming, but Taako’s blood ran cold like he was the dead man walking. Just when he’d been so sure, so relieved, that he hadn’t dragged Kravitz into the Voidfish conspiracy after all, it turned out that Kravitz had sleuthed his way right to its very center.

No wonder he gets along so well with Angus, Taako thought wryly. Two constantly endangered nerds of a feather.

“This friend can explain it much better than I can, so we’ll visit him by portal — but Magnus and Merle need to hear the truth, too,” Kravitz went on, still seeing no reason not to be enthusiastic. “Are they available?”

“Oh, those clowns? They’re off playing kickball with Angus or something — should be back soon.” Taako knew how Kravitz thought, and knew that Kravitz believed he was doing the right thing by digging up these secrets. He was fulfilling an oath to his goddess and helping Taako get some closure, which should have been great news as far as Kravitz knew — but now he was on the moon, speaking openly about truths a Voidfish had suppressed…

And Taako was conspiring with a lich, soon to be two liches, behind Kravitz’s back. He wasn’t expecting to like the truth behind his eight deaths, if he could even wrap his mind around it — and he had a feeling that when it came time to be judged by the Raven Queen, Kravitz would like the truth and its consequences even less, regardless of whether Taako could think clearly enough to defend himself.

So he withdrew from the hug, wiping the flour — and the incriminating mention of Barry — off the counter with a swoop of his hand. “Oh, drat! Did not mean to do that, ‘cause now I’ll have to mop the whole floor —”

“Okay, Taako. What’s wrong?” Kravitz asked firmly — and Taako didn’t know why he’d thought he’d be able to stall for time, given how Kravitz knew him pretty well, too. “You’re not in trouble with the Queen — I mean, we’ll probably have to invent and then fill out an entirely new form of paperwork about you and your pals, but I told her everything and she’s not mad, I can say that much. Same goes for Magnus, Merle, and — uh, forgive me, just Magnus and Merle. It’s been a long day.”

“Okay, that’s the second piece of good bird news you’ve dropped on me in like twenty-four hours, and I appreciate that,” Taako sighed. “But — okay, listen. We’ve got to be quiet about this, for both of our safety, but I think — I know I’m dealing with more than just memory loss here. I’ll try jumping through your portal and talking to your friend, but I really don’t think I’ll be able to understand —”

“Oh!” Kravitz gasped. “I think I know what you’re talking about — I ran into it with Angus earlier, and we should definitely have a way around it.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “My, uh, my new friend didn’t know if you could understand that there was a second Voidfish — but you heard that, right? It wasn’t garbled?”

Taako nodded frantically. “Yeah, and we’ve gotta get off the moon. If Lucretia finds out we know, I — I’ve got no idea how far she’ll go to keep this under wraps, and that’s the worst part. She’s already suspicious of me, and I —”

He felt a tug from his umbrella, and he cast Message as quickly and subtly as he could, hoping the Umbra Staff’s propensity to absorb magic like a sinkhole would somehow pull his unspoken words to Lup.

I’m not going to tell him about you. Not until I get more information.

Her reply must’ve hardly escaped from the umbrella, being little more than a distorted whisper — Be careful. Love you — but Taako’s legs almost gave out beneath him when he heard her voice, and Kravitz winced.

“We’ve really got to get you out of here, don’t we?” he murmured, taking Taako’s hand — and Kravitz’s skin was definitely warmer than usual, because of course this frankly adorable development would happen when Taako had a million other things on his mind. “You said the other boys will be back soon?”

“I hope.” Taako led the way into the living room, giving a wide berth to the remains of the coffee table. “I sent Angus to go find —”

On cue, the rattle of a doorknob and the sound of Angus’s voice rang out from the hallway. “Sir? We’re back! Could you unlock the door?”

The next sound was the telltale thump of a small child being affectionately shoved aside, followed by Magnus exclaiming: “Hey, I’ve got thieves’ tools now! Gimme a shot at picking it!”

Kravitz pursed his lips. “Don’t Magnus and Merle have their own keys?” he muttered under his breath.

“Of course they do,” Taako sighed, and the door swung open with a snap of his fingers and a Knock spell.

“Magnus, look!” Merle cheered. “You did it!”

While Magnus and Merle high-fived, Angus’s eyes lit up at the sight of Kravitz half-alive and well.

“You’re okay! I’m sorry I didn’t end up finding Noelle, but Taako said he was worried about you, so I started worrying too — did you have a nasty fight with a necromancer or something?”

“…Yes and no,” Kravitz responded after a moment of hesitation, “but I can explain that whole incident later. Right now, I need you all to come with me to —”

“A cool skeleton rave!” Taako butted in. “And… there’s also supposed to be skeleton dogs there! So you guys will definitely wanna get in on it!”

“Yes, exactly!” Kravitz corroborated without missing a beat. “It’s one of those, you know, very rare skeleton raves that receives the Raven Queen’s approval. Once in a century opportunity, so you won’t want to miss it!”

Magnus rubbed his chin. “I dunno about this. How do you pet a skeleton dog?”

“Only one way to find out!” Taako told him, then breathed a sigh of relief when it got an approving nod from Magnus.

“Fair enough! I’m sold!”

Angus narrowed his eyes, so Taako grinned and winked, hoping it came across as equal parts conspiratorial and don’t you dare blow this for me. It must’ve worked, because after a few seconds of surely intense mental calculations, Angus plastered on a convincing innocent smile and gave Taako a thumbs-up.

“Thanks for inviting me on this fun diversion, sir! I’m sure you could’ve come up with a more convincing lie if it was a trap or a prank, so I’m all in!”

Smiling awkwardly, Kravitz turned to the the lie’s final mark. “Merle, my bud, how about you?”

“Are we buds now?” Merle grinned. “You know what, sure! Anything for my bud!”

“Then away we go!” Kravitz tore open a rift and immediately stepped through, beckoning for the others to follow with the single arm that remained on their side of the portal. Magnus leapt through almost immediately, Merle hot on his heels, while Angus approached the rift more skeptically.

“Well, sir,” he announced softly once Magnus and Merle disappeared, “you and Kravitz owe me an explanation… but I trust the both of you.” He took Taako’s hand, and the two of them stepped through the portal together, emerging in a cold, dimly lit cave.

And Taako thought he’d been “moving fast” through a lot of things, lately — through worldview-shattering realizations, into a romantic relationship, into unofficially and semi-accidentally adopting a boy detective — but nothing could’ve prepared him for how fast everything moved in the next minute.

Kravitz faced Noelle and a now-familiar disembodied robe, very obviously struggling to suppress a mood-inappropriate laugh. “Can you believe I was planning to lie to Magnus about skeleton dogs, but then Taako interrupted and independently came up with the same fib?”

“That’s love, baby!” Taako exclaimed, in the moment before the absurdity of the situation dawned on him. “Wait. Why’s Barold here?”

As the rift fizzled and disappeared, Magnus drew Railsplitter, only to whirl around on himself with no idea who to aim at or threaten. “Hey, did we just get kidnapped? ‘Cause I’ve gotta say, this is the last combination of people in the world I expected to team up and kidnap us.”

“It’s not a kidnapping,” Kravitz began, “it’s just —”

“Did you kidnap a child, Kravitz?” Barry interrupted, gesturing at Angus. “When was that ever a part of the plan?! We didn’t need to involve —”

“With all due respect, Mister Bluejeans,” Angus butted in, “Kravitz didn’t technically kidnap me! I knew perfectly well that he was bullshitting, but I decided to come along with him anyway, out of my own free will!” He turned to face Kravitz, adjusting his glasses. “That said, he did deceive and therefore truly kidnap Magnus, Merle, and maybe even Taako by the sound of things — so if he could go ahead and explain his presumably very good reason for doing so, that would be just dandy!”

Barry sighed. “Real smartass kid you’ve dragged into the fate of the universe, huh, boys?”

“He was already involved enough in things that he deserves to know. We’re bringing him up to speed too,” Kravitz declared, and Barry shrugged.

“Alright, sure — but why the hell was there a child on the moon in the first place?!”

“He’s the world’s greatest detective,” Noelle spoke up, and Angus beamed. “I told you about him, remember? He’s the one who figured out that you were amnesiac when you were alive —”

“Oh, I do remember that, though I don’t remember you mentioning his age — so I guess it’s my bad, then, for assuming a secret lunar society would give a flying fuck about child labor laws!”

Kravitz ignored them both. “Merle, Magnus — I’m so sorry for the deception, and Taako, I’m sorry for not saying that Barry was my new contact. I didn’t want anyone eavesdropping on us on the moonbase, and I swear, I will explain myself as soon as I physically can —”

“Hey, hey, it’s cool!” Taako’s words were intended not just for Kravitz, but for Lup within the Umbra Staff, which had started trembling at the sound of Barry’s voice. “I would love an explanation, but I needed Barold’s help anyway, sooo… doesn’t this work out pretty great?”

“Needing Barry’s help is a new one, sir,” Angus commented, but no one in the room looked more incredulous than Kravitz and Barry themselves, who both froze in place.

“Um, that’s — that’s news to me too?” Barry stammered. “But if — if you don’t need any convincing, then…”

He floated a little taller, robe a little less ragged, voice a little more hopeful. “Let’s get you inoculated, bud.”

A glass vial appeared in Taako’s hand, and he sipped the dark liquid inside without a second thought, even though he gagged while passing the vial on to an apprehensive Magnus. No memories rushed back to him like he’d braced himself for, but he thought he felt the nature of his headache change — less like the roar of static, and more like the pressure on a dam about to burst.

“You should really sit down for this,” Barry told him, resting a cold hand on Taako’s shoulder. “Take it as slow as possible. You obviously figured out a lot, more than I thought you would, but you still won’t be ready for —”

“Relax, it hasn’t even hit me yet!” Taako interrupted. “So in the meantime, I can catch you up on this whole funny story about… my… umbrella…”

The metaphorical floodgates shattered, and the deluge of memories swept him off his feet.

Growing up bouncing between relative to relative, growing skilled as chefs and wizards on the road. The IPRE entrance exams, the best day ever, the Hanging Arcaneum, “back soon” —

His head burned as the static was expunged from his mind, displaced by visions of days and months and cycles that just kept hitting him. He was dimly aware of someone, two someones, clutching his arms and lowering him to his knees on the cool cave floor —

“Stay with us, Taako!” Kravitz pleaded, holding Taako’s left hand. “Listen to Barry —”

“I’ll walk you through everything,” Barry — the animal kingdom, learning to swim, “what if she’s just gone?” — promised from his right, clinging to the same arm with which Taako held the Umbra Staff. “Just don’t think ahead. I’ve been through this before, and I can get you through it now, as long as —”

“B-but — but Lup!” Taako cried. “How could I forget —”

“I know, bud,” Barry whispered. “I forgot too. I understand —”

“You fucking don’t understand!” Tears fell from his eyes, but his mouth twisted into a cautious, still half-disbelieving smile. “Barry, she’s right here!”

“What?!” The cave was plunged into red and black, blinding lights and impenetrable shadows, as the lich at its center seemed to fall apart and come together all at once. “WHERE?!”

Taako closed his eyes, and with a strength he didn’t know he had, snapped the Umbra Staff over his knee.

[shy-magpie]

RQG 146

[Author’s note: Sorry about the long break! I caught a bug and haven’t been able to edit for love or money. I have been writing the live blogs as the episodes come out but I suspect I will have to edit the stuffing out of them to get something that is both coherent and not twice as long as the show. Also I’m going to try to remember to toss a cut at the top of these things so it doesn’t take up so much of the dash etc.]

I love when they go auctioneer because they want to get to the content faster. Ooh reminder that the party have slightly conflicting goals. I almost spaced that Zolf's priority is the info to save the world while Cel is more narrowly focused on taking out the threat to their village. 

Final bets on whether: 1) the timelines are simultaneous 2) its the same room 3) who(or what) is in the chair ~Hamid time~ Another stealth check and I think Alex rolled something secret. I love these nerds, I don't think they even noticed they slipped into the more precise language of math to describe the place, always makes me feel trusted when people don't hide that kind of thing. Bulk head doors are a good sign. Alex might be trying to build up to it but Bryn wants to get a description of the figure in the chair as badly as we do if not more. Full blank-masked male, cables from the chair to the organ. Ben, sweetie, we aren't going to shoot-first-ask-questions-later, or even take that as your serious suggestion moments after you reminded us Zolf is aiming for capture. "Could be another one of the dead bodies" Pardon me while I glitch on the idea that it being another member of the doomed party is the only thing that I can't recall being proposed over the last week. Am I forgetting or did Figgis actually come up as a suggestion but not that? Alex adds a ladder, to save Hamid one of his last spells "Tension, tension, tension" I can't parse how many of them are chanting but who ever that is, know I adore you. I should be vibrating from stress and instead I'm grinning like a fool. Thats my boy! Hamid's spell slots might be running scary low but his mind is sharp as ever, he remembers his potions! Oh dangerous game, but the extra time invisible as he gets closer sounds worth it. Picked up a few things from Sasha. "Think" Alex is actively trolling. The lights are bad? You choose to do that, Alex, put away the "victim of circumstances" tone. Oh the organ! I needed a better description of that. Lydia might be the only one who loves this description more than me. A pipe organ that makes potions instead of music? Bryn has heard of one where each key is an alchemical symbol. I might need to hunt down art for that if its a known pathfinder thing. Hamid recognizes it but is the wrong school to understand this, both by training as a wizard and as sorcerer. The pipes are actually full of various fluids and powders. Yes Cel needs to see this. Thank you Helen! How much money has he spent on this? Where is he getting the money? I need that clipped! (tension chant evolved) Oh hell of a bet Hamid Sasha would be proud. The table is so proud of him. FTR I think that was Ben not Bryn saying "I stroke his cheek", because Bryn wouldn't risk Alex making that joke canon and using it to hurt Hamid. (naturally there was such no risk if Ben made that joke) Cable to the back of the neck, in clerical robes (crap I remember a “Shoin the healer painting”(?) but I thought he was an alchemist? Is this an assistant? Mini boss? Or is he multi classing), a party mask? Back to that theme. Its a prop corpse and its not the same room, I'm going to scream. Hamid don't you dare! Dollars to donuts its going to stand up and be some kind of creepy corpse robot Hamid waves Skraak in Speaker time, Shoin sounds worse maybe off script. ~~party time~~ Oh Cel has to lose most of the beast voice. Never mind! Smaller pencils acquired! I love this description even better the second time around. Oh bless Lydia for giving the fuller description. 55 HP! 14 Con! Comfort beard. Ooh Azu has a potion to make her even further stronger than Zolf. (iirc she had 1 point over him already) Yes he is in fact lawful evil and no he doesn't ever let them rest. Wise Cel/Lydia! I love Azu's auras! Aura of courage sounds especially useful. Yes yes Azu is good, brave, and resolute. Oh poor Zolf can't prep without either sleep or knowing for sure the fight is coming. Cel actually has 59 HP thank goodness! Another hall? Its circling the dome Hamid is in. It better be the same dome! I feel a bit like I'm betraying the party to enjoy the set design when the set is designed to kill them. They go as fast as they can while checking for traps. I refuse to parse that any other way. Oh poor Alex, we appreciate the set design even if the characters don't. Next door has a porthole to look through. Bless Helen/Azu for reminding them to check for traps. Cel can still disable it! It was a hand buzzer? Oh, to waste spells. Missed an in laid wood image of Shoin as a saint. This guy has too much ego and money. Anyone else thinking of that old joke where a guy has to become a monk to be allowed to find out what is behind a ridiculous number of doors and the punchline is you have to become a monk to find out what he saw? Ok it is a good thing its not the right door ~Hamid time~

Alex you troll! I refuse to concede we needed something to bleed to the stress levels. Shoin’s voice officially probably not a pre recording. I love Hamid! Hangs a handkerchief over the corpse's eyes. Poseidon? Couldn't be any god other than Zolf's ex? Ok doesn't seem in good enough shape to be a necrobot, but the organ might change that. Metal chairs sized for the party bolted to floor. I think Hamid is officially having fun not following Shoin's suggestion to sit at the table. Look at the leader in him collecting the paperwork Official connection between blue veins and the simulacrum! Also a spot for the power source Liliana was working on? Red string joke! ~break~ He Acid Blasts a speaker and it pisses Shoin off. Yeah "young man" was exact wrong thing to try. Were you trying to hit his daddy issues? I love one troll and 1 Kobold! Minion this! If Hamid speaks up? Shoin’s sense are fallible, might come up later Hamid is the best! Might die of being the best, but if he has to go its fingers up. Halfling, Dragon and troll, not a damn inch of leverage except what he gets Shoin to give him by refusing to follow orders. Pretending to attempt to comply is so much more frustrating (and better listening) than if he simply went "shan't". The party comes in! A swear! Not really another way to put it. The corpse explodes! Is Shoin the organ itself? A hug! A Cel & Hamid hug! Zolf backs Hamid's play, and  joins in Shoin baiting. Hamid hugs Azu and Zolf! Finally a proper Zolf hug! Cel finally gets to check out the organ. It prioritizes looks over efficiency and isn't just a potion maker. Some of it goes over Cel's head. Cel blocks the outlet. Lydia still thinks slightly sideways like me, and I love it. The cylinders are near boiling. Hamid orders Skraak to safety! Cel tries to hug Skraak, but Skraak doesn't recognize them. Poor brave little guy tried to attack before they can explain. Cel takes chatty!Skraak well and they have another little bonding growl exchange. They get ready to skip Shoin's game and go to the next room. Bad sounds. Fist sized drops of luminous green liquid from the top of the room that don't act right. Zolf attempts open the door to the next room, Hamid sprints towards it. Thank goodness someone wants to live. Natural 1? But its initiative, so that shouldn't hurt too badly right? Right? No effect thank goodness Homing blobs? I am torn exactly between that being cool and not something I want the party to deal with. How many fire balls does Hamid have left? I think Cel is out of bombs, and if we remember nothing else from Kew its that swarms require explosions. Zolf! Its the big brother of the buzzer door and is locked to boot. Azu attacks the goo nearest Zolf. Helen is too wound up to remember how to roll. Bryn and Ben couch her through it in that RQ way. Cleave! More blobs and the existing ones move towards people. Magic missile! 4 pews! 2 at the nearest to him, 2 at the one nearest Cel. I'd say squishy solidarity but Cel is pretty tough for once. Cel shoots the nearest 3? Then flies up 10 feet up and towards Skraak. Zolf blesses the party! Fair Alex! Not everything has to have a mechanical effect. Azu attacks again. It explodes, if Azu hits it it will die.  At least one person should be safe. Skraak! He froze! Worth a shot Ben You'll see? It tries to blob Skraak and isn't big enough to hurt them. Is Skraak safe from collateral damage? Hamid and Cel both protect Skraak. Hamid tells Skraak to use his spear, Skraak runs instead. Thank god he might not die trying to be a hero. Something drains into the pipe organ and the pipe organ attacks! OMG it is a 50ft tall brain soup drinking electric monster! Yes Ben! Perfect! Shoin Mr Ceiling-ed himself theory has player buy in! Bye! Also I will eat my hat if the drop blobs aren't able to merge into something more dangerous.

[darrilshrugs-blog]

Stick around a while

Summary: The de Rolo’s aren’t aging like regular people. Maybe all the magic and horror of their lives is catching up to them?

Writer’s note: This is a something I’ve worked on for a bit, and just wanted to get out of my head to clear space for other dumb things.

It isn’t until years after they have stopped adventuring that they notice anything is amiss with Percy and Cassandra. There is an accident during construction of what will one day be the new indoor marketplace while Percy and Vex are away from Whitestone. Luckily, no one is gravely injured, but there are some broken bones. 

When they return, Percy checks in with the acting foreman. The regular foreman, Desmond, has had his leg broken by falling timber. Percy speaks with the man for quite some time before realizing that he knew him as a child - the man of late-middle age, grizzled and weathered, had been the son of the stablemaster at the castle. 

Reassured from their discussion that the accident was a pure incident of materials failing under a heavy load, and not a flaw in his design, Percy tells Vex about the man, as they walk hand-in-hand to the castle.

Vex takes a brief look over her shoulder and remarks, “It’s nice that you remember him so fondly. Was he friendly with your older brother?”

“Julius? No, he was close to Ludwig and Cassandra, seeing as they were around the same age.”

Vex takes another glance back, and pats him on the forearm with the hand that isn’t currently holding his. “Darling, than you must be misremembering. That man looks to be ten years older than you, not some years younger. Perhaps you have the wrong man altogether, or he’s an older brother of the boy your recall?”

He walks silently with her for a few steps, letting her lead the way as he tries to remember more of his life before the Briarwoods. Some things have returned to him with total clarity that had been shrouded bits before, but others still hurt too much to examine too closely, or are still hazy with memories of blood, chains and unnatural smoke.

This is not one of them, he hadn’t thought. As he spoke with the man, he saw him clearly as a boy in his mind’s eye, sword-fighting with sticks in the courtyard with Cassandra, while Ludwig, playing the princeling in need of rescue, cheered her on.

But Vex must be right. The man just now had been beginning to stoop with age, his hairline had receded far back on his forehead, and his beard was laced with gray. His memory must be playing tricks on him.

-

Vex doesn’t think anything odd about the encounter with the acting foreman. She isn’t troubled by gaps in Percy’s memory from before. She’s grown used to some inconsistencies and some things that he just can’t recall at all. She knows as well that some memories and feelings hurt too much to dredge up or face head-on. Her thoughts run to the surprise flood of grief she feels every now and then, when she catches a sidelong glance at her reflection in a window and thinks it’s him, only to have everything flow back into her all at once, before she can steel herself against it.

That is, until she mentions it casually to Cassandra some days later. They watch from the walkway atop the interior wall as Percy and the children play in the snow. The younger ones have asked their father to help try to build a snow-bear, while the older ones, closing in on their teenage years, are attempting to bombard each other with high, arcing snowballs from opposite sides of the courtyard.

Cassandra gets the same far-away look in her eyes that Percival gets when searching his memory of his childhood. Vex is pleased to see the accompanying smile, hopefully as she remembers her victories over her playmate in their youthful sparring matches.

Cassandra, so much less guarded with her now, shares more detailed recollections of the man as a boy, and doesn’t seem overly concerned at Vex’ disbelief that a man who should be Cass’ age looks so much older.

“Life in Whitestone may be as good as it has ever been, but it is still hard, and takes a toll on those less fortunate than we.” As Vex nods, Cassandra adds,” Besides, Percival and I were white-haired before hitting our twenties,” She smiles with a mock-conceit that Vex, recognizes as one of the mannerisms that  led her to fall madly in love with Percy, “and we de Rolo’s have always managed to age rather gracefully.”

-

More time passes. Percival and Cassandra enter their fifth decade of life. Brother and sister show the signs of human aging - a slowing metabolism adds a bit of weight to both, and their complexion gains some color from all the time in the Northern sun and cold.   Friends use the more accurate descriptors of “healthy”, “no longer see-through”, “less, you know, ghostly?”  or “not looking like they could be knocked over with a lil’ flick of me finger”.

Despite these signs, however, none can ignore that the de Rolo siblings are barely aging. Percy still has the reflexes and vitality that he possessed when he adventured across the world and the planes of existence. Cassandra is just as dedicated and sharp a guardian of her city as she was when forced into responsibility in her teens.

Vex’ahlia certainly appreciates every moment of her husband’s life, and begrudges none of his professional, or personal, vigor. She rarely flashes to the horror scenes of her memory - Percival, bloodied and stilled on the ground of Glintshore, or eviscerated at the feet of a slain green dragon. Cass in black armor, with Vex’s own arrow though her chest - but she will never forget them. She just prays that this is not another horror to be visited upon this poor family, her poor family.

-

The siblings and their family, friends and advisors cannot and do not ignore the situation. In private conversations with the few they trust, the de Rolo’s express their worries that some of the darkness they have battled in their lives has made them unnatural. Percy and Cassandra mull their encounters with the Briarwoods and their dark god-ling, and Percy frets anew on the possibility that he still carries some taint of the shadow-demon on his soul. Over months, visits from clerics, arcanists, scholars and priests give no indication of evil lingering on the siblings, putting most minds at ease. 

The subjects of all this poking and prodding, however, are still de Rolo’s, and as such, they continue to carry this weight of worry with them. At the next Winter’s Crest, celebrated together this year in Westrun, mostly in the home Pike has inherited from her great-grandfather, Percy asks a favor of his diminutive friend. 

They are sitting together, all but the children, in a familiar, magically-appropriately sized dining room on the last night of the trip when he asks. “Pike? Could you ask the Everlight if Cassandra and I could have an audience, if Keyleth were to agree to try to bring us to her?” He no longer hides his worries from his family, from any of them.

Unlike much of the family, Pike isn’t as taken aback by the suggestion as he expects her to be. He sometimes forgets how long he has known her, and how well she knows the way his thoughts can run. “I can ask, Percy, and I don’t mind trying. But we know there isn’t anything wrong with you two, if that’s what you want to ask her.”

“I know that’s what all the magic and holy prayers have said, but it isn’t normal, not that abnormal hasn’t been part of my life since ...” he doesn’t mention all the things that Pike knows he is thinking of saying.

Pike sits up somewhat from where she had been reclining by the fireplace. “Percy, I’m going to ask you and Cass a question. I have some experience with the Everlight and I have an idea of what she might ask you if we were to see her. Is that alright?”

“Of course.”

“Are you happy?”

“Very much so.” His answer is immediate, without mulling it over or choosing his words carefully. That shows, more than the words themselves, how very far this Percy has come from the scared, secretive young man he was when they all first met; he has grown confident, trusting, open. His hand, on Vex’s shoulder as she rests against him in the armchair they share, pulls her closer.

“And is Cassandra happy?”

As focus turns to where Cassandra sits, Grog, who is sitting on the floor, brings his hand next to his mouth in an attempt to cover his lips. It is maneuver that is impossibly obvious, even for him. He whispers far too loudly to be considered whispering “Scanlan, is it even possible for that priss to ever be happy?”

The words barely leave his mouth before he reacts to a sharp elbow in his side. He bends to in fake pain and surprise over Cassandra, who has been leaning her back against his flank. Grog promptly receives a face-full of ale as the Lady of Whitestone’s other arm arcs up to toss the liquid in her cup over her shoulder at him.

“Apologies. I appear to have spilled my drink.” She says flatly as Grog sputters and the rest of the assembled group laughs.

The laughs die down a little, and Grog wipes his face, Percy returns his look to Pike and answers her “Yes, Pike, I believe my sister is happy.” Cassandra is nodding as she receives a refill.

Pike gather herself for a short speech, which is still not her usual style “I’m so happy for you both. You deserve to be happy. And after all that you two have been through, and all that we have seen and done together, do we need to particularly know why we will have you with us for longer than we initially thought?

“If it’s due to the number of times we revived the two of you, or some weird result of being near the ziggurat, or blessing from the Dawnfather, or the Everlight or the Raven Queen” She breaks from looking at Percy to scan the faces of the rest of them “Does it matter, that you’ll have more happy years with our family?”

This time, Percy does pause a few moments to consider. Not too long though, as he pulls Vex closer again against him, holds his cup out for a refill, and cracks a smile. “No it does not. You have always been the wisest of us. Thank you Pike.”

“My pleasure, Percy”

[truthfulstars]

Time Stops

“Time stops but still your heart is beating—time stops though you don't take a breath. She's there and all you've ever wanted is nearer, clearer…I used to think the world was small, now I don't think that way at all.”

There was something about a summer night in the Neverwinter Woods that couldn’t be refused— at least, as long as Rowan Thennis had been invited by his brother on behalf of the rangers. It was rare that the elven and human rangers teamed up, but the Drow were a common enemy, and one that needed as much manpower as possible. From what he had gathered from his twin brother’s letter, they’d been testing the defenses for about a month now, and it was going to have casualties if they didn’t nip it in the bud.

There was something electric in the air as runes were carved and painted around the camp— tongues, so the two parties wouldn’t have to bother with translation— and tents were set up. They’d take shifts for watch, the parties a mix of races in order to give them a better chance at seeing danger, and the elven leader— Dassar Naitecú— mentioned that he’d asked a nearby temple for assistance. If the intel was right, they wouldn’t have any Drow to deal with until the next day, but no one wanted to risk being caught unprepared.

He’d been relaxing by the fire, a flask in one hand, when the sound of horses caught everyone’s attention. For a moment, he saw nothing, but the excited greetings of a few elven men told him as much as he needed to know until the women came into view. The women were both wearing robes— the frontmost in blue silk, while the other wore silver— a strange symbol embroidered on their sashes. Clerics, he knew that much, and high ranking ones at that.

The woman in blue easily dismounted her horse, and Rowan immediately felt as if he should bow to her, his heart stalling as she looked over the group. Everything about her—from her robes to the silver circlet in her blonde hair—seemed almost regal as she stepped into the light, her footsteps silent. The trance he was in broke after what felt like years, the leader of the elven rangers laughing loudly before pulling her into a hug.

“Aurae, you brat, you’re late!” Dassar said, getting an annoyed look from the woman as he tousled her hair.

“We would have been early, but Ailred wanted to pray one last time to Sehaine before we left— it’s a waning crescent, and she’s nervous.” Despite her somber expression, she spared Naitëcu a smile before rolling her eyes, grabbing her own pack from the saddlebags.

“To everyone who doesn’t already know, this is my older sister— Aurae Naitëcu, Servant of Corellon Larethian, and a member of the Reverend Ones.” Dassar said, grabbing the rest of her things as he gave the horse a loving pat. “She and Ailred Ornthalas have been sent to help patch up anyone who needs more than a healing potion and a slap on the back, so be nice to them or they’ll throw you to the spiders.”

“You couldn’t wait to throw my titles in there, could you, Lieutenant?”

“It’s not every day your older sister finally gets accepted into The Reverend Ones after two hundred years of training— it’s about damn time!”

Rowan watched the siblings bicker back and forth, noticing how the smell of incense hung in the air long after she had left. He was so focused on them that he barely noticed a half-elven man sit next to his brother, offering Leon a drink as he settled back against the log they were leaning on.

“Ailred’s asked them to make the camp invisible to outsiders, just in case someone tries to ambush us tonight.” He said, motioning to the men already hurrying to start the ritual. “Apparently, they both have a bad feeling about tonight— enough that they’re gonna be praying to Sehaine Moonbow and Corellon Larethian until daybreak.”

Rowan could see the blonde woman in her tent, a small altar by the entrance. “What was that Revered Ones thing that Dassar talked about— some kind of clergy?”

“The Reverend Ones, Corellon’s army even in death, and the only kind of soldier that is just as helpful when dead as alive.” He replied, pointing out the insignia on the women’s saddlebags. “They both belong to the best of the best of elvenkind; warriors, archers, spellcasters, and everything in between that pledged themselves to The Protector. When they die, they’ll go to Arvandor like the rest, but their afterlife will be training for the day they need to go defend the elven people from a dangerous enough threat to warrant an army of ghosts… or whatever they’re gonna be. So far, there hasn’t been something so evil that he felt the need to send them in.”

“Sounds like a shitty way to spend your time in paradise.” Leon scoffed, glancing at the armor that the blonde woman had unpacked and left beside her altar.

“It’s the highest honor, and it comes with the highest cost.” The half-elf replied. “Either way, I’m glad that my Ma being human excluded me from it— I’d like to spend my days in Arvandor chugging wine and relaxing in the sun.”

Rowan was barely listening as they spoke, instead watching how the cleric moved around the tents, setting up what would become their makeshift hospital a week’s journey from the nearest healer. It was just as enchanting as it was worrying, the same energy from before renewed as dim moonlight filtered through the trees.

“I’m surprised you even heard the watch order with the amount of drooling you were doing.” Leon said hours later, skipping a rock across the surface of the creek. The two elven scouts with them had stopped to relieve themselves, and there was no use waiting around for them to finish. “Four skips.”

“Did you see that woman— the blonde with the crown on? Lathander’s dawn, it reminded me of that one cleric of Sune from Neverwinter, the one who was both beautiful and looked like she could crack your spine with one hit.” He skipped his own rock, giving Leon a short glance as it only skipped twice. “Five.”

“You fucking liar— and I remember you getting red in the face every time we saw her on our way to and from the market with our father.” Leon replied. “Don’t fuck with her, Ro, I don’t want to be the reason Dassar cuts ties with our squadron.”

“I don’t want to fuck with her, I just want to talk to her!” He insisted, ignoring his brother’s look of annoyance. “She’s— I don’t know, Lee, I want to bow to her and listen to her talk for hours and just be there with her. She’s… she’s something different.”

Something shifting in the forest caught their attention, ending the conversation as Rowan unsheathed his sword and Leon notched an arrow in his crossbow. The sounds of animals and insects had silenced, the only sounds coming from the two men’s heavy breathing as they tried to find the source.

A glassy figure caught Rowan’s eye moments before he was almost knocked over, a spider the size of his brother’s hunting dog on his chest. He felt something scratching at his side, a horrified scream breaking loose as he dropped his sword in order to try to break free. A heavy thunk and a shriek from the creature was the last thing he heard before he was being pulled away, a knife .

“Where the fuck did it go?” Rowan asked, head on a swivel as he looked around the dark forest.

“Phase Spider— fuck, I fucking hate spiders, especially these fuckers.” Leon hissed, his dagger dripping with blood.

Rowan cringed as he pressed his back against his brother’s, sword in hand once more as he tried to listen for the spider. There had been plenty near the caves back in Rothé Valley, a friendly reminder of the Drow that lived nearby.

“You’re a ranger in the Neverwinter Woods— how the fuck can you fight drow all day and still be scared of spiders?”

He asked as he heard another shifting sound, hands checking his sides where the spider had tried to get access to his skin.

“I dunno, Ro, something about a spider the size of a dog really turns me off!”

At that, he couldn’t help but laugh, looking over his shoulder at his twin’s pale face. “Well, thank Lathander you aren’t sexually attracted to the tarantula trying to eat us right—“

“Three o’clock!”

Rowan shifted to the right direction, sword ready as the spider shifted in and out of their vision. He did his best to block it’s next attack with his arm, the sound of metal clanging as the creature struck his plate armor, stabbing his sword into it as Leon unsheathed his dagger once more, preparing to jump in if he need to.

“Light the flare, Lee, I swear to the gods—“

“I’m fucking trying!”

He felt something give way in his armor moments before the spider disappeared, the straps of his armor severed by its fangs. “Fucking goddamn spider!”

“Did it bite you?” Leon asked, glancing over from his place on the ground, flint in his hand and the flare prepared on the ground.

“No, I’m—“ he was cut off as he checked himself over by a whistling sound, an arrow suddenly embedded in his ribs. He looked to where the arrow had come from, breathing unsteady as his legs gave out from under him. “Lee… light the flare.”

“Ro— shit, hang on!” The flare exploded into the sky, red light illuminating the forest as Rowan gripped his side, face paling as he began to convulse from the poison covering the arrow. “Keep your eyes open, I’ll get you some help.”

Rowan tried to listen to his brother, jaw clenched as his body began to fail him, his heartbeat poisoning in his head and drowning out the sound of harsh undercommon and fighting, his eyes closing as his brother’s hands gripped the wound on his side.

He didn’t open his eyes again until he noticed the sound of muttered elvish, the smell of incense and herbs bringing him back to consciousness. When he finally managed to sit up, he found himself in the medical tent, the blonde cleric from before kneeling at an altar. He watched her for a moment, smiling tiredly.

“I think Kelemvor made a mistake…” Rowan ground out, glancing at the elven cleric as she sorted through her supplies.

“You‘re fine, don’t worry.” She replied, barely giving him a glance as she lit the incense at the altar, the tongues spell from earlier translating a prayer of thanks to Corellon. “Your brother got you back in time that any damage will be reversed by the time you reach Neverwinter— it’s why I was sent here.”

Rowan laughed, slowly sitting up as carefully as he could after an arrow was buried in his ribs just hours ago. “No, you aren’t hearing me— I must’ve been sent to Arvandor, because I’m pretty sure I’m looking at a goddess right now.”

“Most of the Elven gods are genderfluid, or at least have the ability to change at will.” Aurae replied, looking at him quizzically.

“I wouldn’t mind one bit, as long as it’s you.”

For a moment, Aurae stared at him in confusion, before a smile spread across her face. NOW the penny drops. “Protector’s blood— and I thought I’d heard my fill of terrible one-liners in three hundred years.”

“Maybe share a drink with me when this is all over, I can come up with a better one.”

“Lie down, before you rip your stitches.” Although her voice was stern, there was still a spark of amusement in her silver eyes, the blue robes and insignia of The Reverend Ones not as imposing as before.

“That’s not an answer,” Rowan insisted, smiling weakly as he gripped his side. So, perhaps making himself laugh with part of an arrowhead still in his ribs wasn’t the best idea, but he’d do it over and over again in order to see her smile again.

“If you go to sleep, I’ll think about it.”

She handed him a drink, his eyes heavy almost the moment it touched his lips. There were thousands of things he wanted to say as he slipped back into unconsciousness, the feeling of her hand on his shoulder the last thing he recognized as he closed his eyes. ”Wait… for… me.”

Aurae gently brushed the hair out of his eyes, covering him with a blanket her brother’s rangers had brought as his breathing evened. His brother was outside, most likely going to want to see him the next time he woke up. She gave the man an amused look, opening the tent up to his friends. “I’ll be here, don’t worry.”

[zippdementia]

Part 58 Alignment May Vary: Beginning a Battle

After the crazy events of last session, my players have some decisions to make. Nysyries is no longer under the sway of Nazragul, Lord of the Maakengorge, and so is no longer compelled to gather his soul jar and convert the dead of the upcoming battle into his minions. Furthermore, she no longer needs to feed on human men in order to keep her druidic abilities, as she is free of the Rusalka’s curse, the culmination of which was to tempt her to murder Lord Jarmaath of Brindol. 

But these things also beg the question: what is her goal? For the first time in nearly the entire campaign, Nysyries is free to make her own decisions. Well, in Poseiden’s name, now that she wields his trident, but nevertheless it’s an unusual place for her to be.

After some discussion, Aldric asserts that his plans have not changed: “I’m not going to Brindol to save it,” he says, “though that may very well happen if I’m there. I have my quarry to hunt.” He is referring to the Behir Varanthian, the self styled “Mother of Dragons,” who killed his fellow Green Company and started him on the quest for revenge.

Nysyries decides to follow Aldric. “I don’t want to see this world ruined,” she says. “Not by the undead and not by the hordes of this Azor Khul, the Dragonlord. I at least owe it to my deceased companions to finish what we started. This war is mine as much as anyone’s, now.”

Planning for Battle

“You used to ride with the Green Company? I grew up hearing stories about them. It was like having a piece of my childhood torn away when I heard they had been disbanded.”

Aldric looked Delora Zann up and down, trying to guess at her age. He couldn’t be more than five years older than her. “We grew up hearing the same tales,” Aldric said. “And for a while I got to live my fantasy. But we weren’t disbanded. We were murdered, by the one calling herself the Mother of the Hoard.”

This is an interesting scene in the original module. Ostensibly it’s a chance for the players to shape the form of the battle to come. The module, obviously, can’t account for every possible outcome of this meeting, so it leaves it to DMs to pay attention and change the battle on the fly. It is also a chance to introduce the main players for the final chapter of the campaign. One problem I have with this is that these characters come in too late to have any real bearing on the plot. After all, this is the penultimate chapter! So it is a struggle to make players care about them and their little infighting and conspiracies.

I do a few things to try and combat this. For one, I add another player. These particular characters do not recognize Zennatos, from the Tomb of Haggemoth campaign, but the players do and it makes them feel that much more connected to the city when they see him on the council and find out that this is his homeland and he has returned to defend it because “someone once told me that I should spend the rest of my life doing good, if I wanted to keep it for long.”

Of course, there is also the mayor of Drellin’s Ferry and his lieutenant Delora Zann to check in with, as the players have not seen him since before their turn to evil and their failure to rescue two of his prominent citizens: Sera the Halfling and Soranna the captain of the guard. Nysyries was around for all of that, and there is a wonderfully roleplayed awkwardness to their conversations as she is forced to recall the deaths of these citizens as well as of Trakki and Tyrion, whose presence the mayor looks for. This gets even worse when the leader of the elves (also here) requests an update on Trellara. Nysyries keeps everything very vague, saying that Trakki and Tyrion fell, that they failed to rescue the citizens, and that Trellara became separated from them in a storm. None of it lies, but definitely not the whole truth.

I also try to ramp up some of the personalities here. Immerstal in particular I play as pompous and braggadocios and Aldric takes the bait, snapping back at him like a rooster that has seen its own reflection. The two are too alike to be friends, so they decide to duel in the morrow, putting them in a very intense position. See, Adlric knows that Blackrazor will try and murder Immerstal, not just knock him out. And if that happens, they are removing a major weapon from the battle to come, possibly sealing the doom of Brindol. But Aldric’s pride does not let him back down and so the duel is set.

By the end of the conference, the players have made friends with Lord Jarmaath and his warrior generals, but have failed to impress Tredora the cleric (and Jarmaath’s not-so-secret lover), Lady Kaal (directly opposed to Jarmaath), and Immerstal. For battle plans, they come up with the idea to send Aldric outside of the southern city gates with a contingent of horsemen, in case the Red Hand sends a force there. If the southern gate is clear, Aldric will ride up the flank of the main force at the Western gate and harry them as he can.

Nysyries, meanwhile, will man the Western gate with Immerstal and a number of the city’s finest defenders. They will hold as long as possible, then fall back to pre-planned locations: emptied buildings from which they will snipe and use magic to harry enemies as they advance down the streets. The streets have been turned into a long death trap by using barricades to block off huge portions of them and force the direction of the enemy march. This will eventually lead them to the final stand at the city’s grand temple, where Lord Jarmaath and the final contingent of clerics and warriors wait to defend the city to its last if the worst comes to pass and the enemy makes it that far.

Granted, there are some things that are guaranteed to happen in the battle. The gates will fall, for instance. It’s not much of a final battle scene if they don’t. But I’ve tried to let everything after that be more organic. I know the final fight is supposed to take place on the steps of the temple, but I’m okay if that doesn’t happen. I want the player actions to shape this conflict and the idea about siphoning the enemy through a maze of city streets is a solid one. The enemies, of course, have some tricks up their sleeve that aren’t in the original. We’ll get to that soon. But first, we have a duel to fight.

Well, actually, even before that, there is one more odd thing that occurs. The night before the duel, Aldric gets a vistor at the abandoned inn he’s staying at (the city has mostly evacuated). The visitor is clearly of noble birth, though he doesn’t give a name. Instead, he offers Aldric a deal: let Lord Jarmaath come to some accident during the upcoming war and Aldric will be gifted with the location of the Behir’s lair, so that he may finally avenge his fallen company.

Aldric doesn’t agree one way or the other and the noble tells him he doesn’t need to. His actions will speak louder than words. Then the noble leaves and all attempts to track him after this fail.

The Duel

“Ready to die?” Aldric asked jovially with a broad smile. Across the green field, Immerstal visibly stiffened--not an easy accomplishment, considering the man already walked around like he had an immovable rod shoved up his posterior.

“We shall see if you are worthy of your arrogance.”

“No, seriously. I mean that you will die if you fight me. This blade,” he held up Blackrazor, the dawn light sucked up in its night-sky surface, “will not let you live.”

“Then that is not the blade you should be using.” Tredora’s voice was best described as musical, her look best described as appraising. There was a harshness to the music, though, and the appraisal must have been a poor one to turn her lips down into such a frown.

Aldric met the Aasimir’s gaze evenly. “The blade is my blade, it is the only one I use.”

“That is a choice you make,” Tredora said. “Allow me to offer you another one.”

Tredora offers Aldric a magical blade to replace Blackrazor for the purposes of the duel and he accepts it, solving some of the concerns that he might kill immerstal, their ally, during this fight. Tredora is also making a point: showing him he does not need Blackrazor to fight. She is trying to rehabilitate him, but Aldric may not have much interest in that.

The duel itself is a tense fight! I use Archmage statistics for Immerstal, who creates illusions of himself and darts around the dueling field, taunting Aldric all the while, trying to incite his anger by calling into question his bravery and abilities. For his part, Aldric uses the incredible defensive abilities of the cavalier to severely limit what Immerstal can do to him. He has the ability to add to his AC, or to turn successful dexterity saves into no-damage results (instead of halved damage). He hits hard, too, even without Blackrazor, and trades blows easily with Immerstal. Immerstal doesn’t get off many hits himself, but the ones he does are massive strikes from his lightning bolt spell, at one point dealing something close to 70 damage on a single hit (this from a level 9 lightning bolt). When Aldric survives this (barely), Immerstal, exhausted and bloodied, calls the fight in Aldric’s favor.

The two actually bond over this, putting aside their differences and celebrating their bro-ness by visiting Immerstal’s pocket dimension brothel. There’s even some slight hints of romance between the two. God, but I love my group.

Nysyries, meanwhile, misses the whole fight because she’s off getting drunk with the dwarven mercenaries, arriving only at the fight’s very end to comically ask “what did she miss?”

Conversion out of Context

It’s time to talk about my conversion in some critical terms.

When I first set my sights on Red Hand of Doom as a good campaign to play, nearly two years ago, I was a much different GM. Less experienced, less willing to take risks and go off page. Yet today as we approach the end of the campaign, I look back and see how far I have drifted from the source material. I look ahead to my notes for upcoming sessions and see, too, just how much further I am going to go (hold onto your butts). The reason I bring this up is that my journey log for this particular campaign, originally conceived as a straight play test of a Red Hand conversion, no longer really is serving this purpose. I’ve made too many changes to the core story for it to work as a conversion guide any more.

This isn’t a bad thing. Rather, I would say that all of the changes made were directly based on actions and back stories of the characters which is what a good game of Dungeons & Dragons should do. I’m serving a story here, the story of these characters and their ambitions, and that is more important to me than running a pure conversion. That said, it is difficult to tell another GM how to properly restat, say, the battle of Brindol when I have adjusted everything for two players of higher-than-intended level... oh, and both of them have Legendary Weapons. Not to mention the thematic changes: I have Ulwai wielding the Rod of Storms, for instance, and I have Varanthian the Behir directly tied into the backstory of Aldric.

In short, because this game is our story, it is not your story. It can’t be, and at a certain point any statistics I post are going to be meaningless outside of that context. So while I will continue to post stats for my game, I am not going to go back as originally planned and compile them into an official conversion for Red Hand of Doom. Let these Journey Logs stand as a campaign journal, more than as a proof of concept. If you want a more or less official conversion, I recommend this one by Daniel Pryor. I’m not quite sure where to download it anymore, but some google searching can probably find the answer... if anyone does figure out a place to purchase or download, let me know and I’ll add it here! I’ve used some of these stats in my own run through and it’s a very good conversion. Maybe I’ll review it in more detail after my own adventure is completed.

That said, while I can’t say how my stats would end up in your game, I do think this journey log has offered and continues to offer good advice on how to run the module’s situations. I am going to continue that advice into the actual Battle of Brindol, which I’ll cover in my next post. Because I do think the Battle needs changes. As written in the module, it’s kind’ve.... boring. What makes it boring is highlighted by a gaming philosophy that I have developed over the last two years as a GM, something that I think can help GMs in ensuring that their games stay lively and memorable every session.

More on that next time, in the Five C’s of RPGs!

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #183

Whew, all those racers are finally done! Now we can kick back a bit, all we have to make this time is a literal god.

Anyway, enough self pity! Today we’re making Parvati, one of the many wives of Shiva, but also his only wife, because all the other wives are a part of her, I guess. Hindu gods make our sense of self look vanilla by comparison. She is an Oath of the Ancients Paladin for some godly protection, and a War Cleric for when it’s time to Durga it up a bit.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Like fire, Hellfire, this fire in my skin!

Race and Background

Like many pseudoservants, Parvati is one half god, one half human, so a Fallen Aasimar will keep that in mind and also let her scare the crap out of people when she lets Kali loose. This gives her +1 Wisdom and +2 Charisma, as well as Darkvision, Celestial Resistance to radiant and necrotic damage, the Light cantrip, and some Healing Hands to help people as an action without having to slit your throat.

“Wife of a god” isn’t a common background, but I assume it’s pretty similar to being a Noble. Lots of politics, deciding the fate of peasants/mortals for them, that kind of thing. that gives you proficiency in History (makes sense-you’re immortal) and Persuasion (you were somehow able to convince Guda to eat an entire cow-sized chocolate in a single sitting).

Ability Scores

Make sure your Wisdom is as high as possible to help take care of everyone’s problems (except for Kama’s). After that is Charisma- she’s the wife of the gods, it only makes sense for this to be really high. Her Strength isn’t that high, but a god who is bad at fighting is still a god. After that is Dexterity. It should be higher to deal with the whole “fighting in a sari” thing, but we needed the other three for multiclassing. Her Intelligence isn’t amazing, but we need everything else more for the build. That means we’re dumping Constitution. Honestly she should be tougher, but one of her big myths involves hurting herself for the sake of others, so that’s going to knock her down a couple points.

Class Levels

Paladin 1: Starting off as a paladin will get you more HP than a cleric, but you also get proficiency in Wisdom and Charisma saves, and the skills Religion and Intimidation. You’re a god, and I’m not sure how you convinced Guda to eat a chocolate cow, so now all your bases are covered. You also get a Divine Sense to suss out extraplanar goodies and baddies as an action 1+your Charisma Modifier times per day. You also also get even more healing thanks to Lay on Hands, which gives you a total pool of healing equal to five times your paladin level per long rest.

Paladin 2: Second level paladins get a Fighting Style, but since you’re not actually that good at fighting we’ll grab Interception instead. While wielding a weapon or shield you can react to block attacks going towards creatures near you, reducing the damage by 1d10 plus your proficiency bonus. You also get Spells that you can cast and prepare using your Charisma. Since you can switch them up every long rest the exact spells you take aren’t that important, but I suggest Detect Evil and Good for more godly senses and Command to put mortals in their place. Alternatively, you can use Divine Smites to add extra radiant damage to your attacks using your spell slots. It’s not lightning yet, but... wait, are we making two lightning-based lancers connected to the Indian pantheon in three builds of each other?

Paladin 3: At third level you get to become the Maid-sorry, Kouhai of Light (mixed up my vaguely sci-fi works of fiction with sprawling and nonsensical worldbuilding there) as a Oath of Ancients paladin. When you take the subclass you get Oath Spells, which are automatically prepared for you. You get Ensnaring Strike and Speak with Animals. The former isn’t that in-character, but there’s enough talking animals in Hindu mythology for the latter to just be an automatic include. Third level paladins also can Channel Divinity once per short rest in two flavors. Nature’s Wrath ensnares an enemy if they fail a strength or dexterity save (DC 8 + proficiency + charisma modifier), repeating the save each turn until they succeed. Weirdly enough, there’s no time limit, so if your magic’s strong enough and they’re weak enough it’ll just last forever. Alternatively, you can Turn the Faithless, forcing a wisdom save on all fey and fiends nearby, forcing them to flee for up to a minute and making it unable to disguise itself. One last thing; your Necrotic Shroud makes you really scary as an action once per long rest, forcing a charisma save on nearby creatures that’ll frighten them if they fail. Then, for a minute afterwards you can deal necrotic damage once per turn equal to your level.

Paladin 4: Use this Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Constitution. Even if there’s a thematic reason for it, it’s just too painful to leave you with a negative health modifier.

Paladin 5: Fifth level paladins get an Extra Attack as well as 2nd level spells! Your freebies include Moonbeam, which does damage and also forces creatures out of disguises, and Misty Step, which lets your teleport around. More in character, you can use Find Steed to qualify for the rider class with a cool cow, or Magic Weapon to make your spear a bit cooler than the rest.

Paladin 6: Your new Aura of Protection adds your charisma modifier to all allied saving throws within 10′ of you for a little grace of the goddess.

Paladin 7: Not to be outdone, your subclass also chips in with its own aura, the Aura of Warding, which gives you and everyone around you resistance to spell damage. Unlike most paladin auras, this one does not require you to be conscious.

Paladin 8: Use this ASI to round out your Strength and get cool new features at the same time thanks to the Piercer feat. Now you can re-roll a die of piercing damage you deal each turn, and critical hits with piercing weapons deal an extra die of damage!

Paladin 9: Your last level of paladin gives you third level spells, like Plant Growth and Protection from Energy. All well and good, but you also get spells that aren’t free, like Create Food and Water so you don’t have to slit your throat next time someone is thirsty and Elemental Weapon so you can finally have an electric spear.

Cleric 1: Being all sweet and motherly is nice, but we also need to be able to channel Durga when we need to. Durga’s a War god, so that feels like a good place to start. War clerics become a War Priest first thing, letting you make another weapon attack as a bonus action if you attack as your action Wisdom modifier times per long rest. Yes, this does mean you’re technically better at fighting than a paladin. Congrats. You also get another set of Spells you cast and prepare using your Wisdom. Grab the cantrips Guidance to be a bit better than everyone else, Spare the Dying to take care of them, and Thaumaturgy to actually appear godly when you need to. You also get more freebies, like Divine Favor for a worse but cheaper Elemental Weapon and Shield of Faith for a boost in AC. Technically you’re fighting in just a dress, so you’ll really need this if you’re playing to character. Also, grab Guiding Bolt so you can actually lightning some fools while helping out the party. Deal radiant damage and give the next attacker advantage.

Cleric 2: Second level clerics get Channel Divinity, and also giving us a chance to talk about what happens when you multiclass like this. You don’t get extra uses of CD, but you can use it in all the ways you get options for. So you can use your one use per short rest to instill Nature’s Wrath, Turn the Faithless, Turn Undead, or for a Guided Strike. The former forces a wisdom save on all the nearby undead, turning them if they fail. The latter adds 10 to an attack roll you make. You’re a nice person, but sometimes you just gotta get Kali on their asses, you know?

Cleric 3: Third level clerics get second level spells, like Magic Weapon which we already went over and Spiritual Weapon, which lets you forgo your not good strength score to attack with a big glowy weapon as a bonus action. If all this bloodshed is getting you down, you can also use Calm Emotions to try to end things peacefully.

Cleric 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma for stronger paladin spells and auras. You also learn the Mending cantrip for some mending.

Cleric 5: At fifth level, clerics can start to Destroy Undead instead of turning them if they’re CR 1/2 or lower, destroying them instantly if they fail their save. You also get third level spells like Crusader’s Mantle for a widespread worse elemental weapon and Spirit Guardians to create those other two Parvatis for your NP. Alternatively, you can cast Life Transference to give some of your HP to your allies. It’s not quite as bad since you resist the damage, but I doubt there’s many people on your team who need health more than you do.

Cleric 6: At sixth level, clerics get a second Channel Divinity each rest, and you can use that to give out a War God’s Blessing, giving +10 to nearby ally’s attack roll.

Cleric 7: For your freebie fourth level spells you get Freedom of Movement and Stoneskin to help with your less than amazing physical stats. You can also use Aura of Life and Aura of Purity to make life around you just a bit nicer.

Cleric 8: Use your last ASI to bump up your Wisdom for better cleric spells and more cleric beatdowns with War Priest. Also, Destroy Undead kills CR 1 creatures, and you get a Divine Strike, adding 1d8 damage to a weapon’s damage once per turn.

Cleric 9: Ninth level clerics get fifth level spells, like Flame Strike and Hold Monster. It might not be a lightning bolt, but any wrath of god is a good wrath of god in my book. You can also use spells like Summon Celestial to phone a family member for some help, or Hallow to make life a bit better in a single place for 24 hours. There’s a lot of effects to pick from, so make sure you check them out on your own time.

Cleric 10: Tenth level clerics get another cantrip, so grab Resistance to buff your saves just a little bit more. You also get Divine Intervention once per day, giving you a ten percent chance of a god saving your ass when you use it. If you succeed you can’t use it again for a week.

Cleric 11: Your capstone level bumps your destroy undead up to CR 2 creatures, and you can cast sixth level spells like Heroes’ Feast. Heal people up and make it even harder for charms to effect them thanks to an empowered wisdom save, what’s not to love?

Pros:

Frontline fighters tend to be pretty bad against magic, but thanks to Parvati’s auras they’ll have a much easier time when they’re fighting near her.

Despite her stats, she’s also not that bad at fighting thanks to all her magical support. Thanks to being a war cleric she can just slap +10 onto an attack to make sure it hits, and thanks to being a paladin she can make that one hit really count. She also gets more hits per turn thanks to War Priest than either a paladin or a war cleric would get alone.

Even with that fighting and regular gish spells, she still has a varied and flexible set of spells thanks to both her classes being prep based and clerics just being good in general.

Cons:

She still only has a strength score of 14, so she can’t use heavy armor well even if she wanted to, and it also eats into her damage a bit when you’re not using smites.

When she’s not using magic she’s really easy to beat up, with barely over 100 hp and an AC of 11. She should probably be in at least chainmail if you seriously want to play as her.

Most of her martial prowess is built into features with limited uses, with Guided Strike only usable twice a short rest and War Priest four times a long rest. Also, stuff like Stoneskin and and Shield of Faith are concentration based, which isn’t one of her strong suits.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #59: Jeanne d’Arc

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re finally finishing up the original roster of servants with The Maiden of Orleans, Jeanne d’Arc! As you might expect from the holy maiden, Jeanne is 100% a Cleric, protecting her soldiers as she leads the charge.

Check out the level-by-level breakdown below the cut, or the build summary over here!

I’d also like to thank everyone who likes or reblogs these posts; I thought this would be a really niche topic, but this blog now has more followers than my main! We’ve still got plenty of servants to go after this, so I hope you’ll continue to enjoy them.

Race and Background

Like most servants, Jeanne’s a Human. Rather, she’s a bundle of magical energy roughly based on the impact a human made on history, but that’s a mouthful, and also not a race, so we’ll stick with Human. This gives her +1 to all stats.

Jeanne’s your typical Folk Hero; came from humble beginnings, achieved great things through sheer determination, and died a fiery death at the hands of those she saved. That last part’s not typical, but it’s also not part of a person’s background. Being a folk hero gives you proficiency with Animal Handling and Survival. You grew up on a farm, so that’s not too wild.

Stats

You receive visions from a higher power, and know other servants’ True Names on sight. That’s pretty wise, so your Wisdom has to be pretty high. Despite having zero formal education, you can argue theology with the best of them through sheer conviction- that’s Charisma. Third is Constitution; you have a martyr complex, so it helps to have some health in the first place before you go throwing it away to save others. Fourth is Dexterity, because it’s just more helpful here. Your Strength isn’t great. I know canon Jeanne can fold street lamps like pretzels, but sacrifices had to be made somewhere. Finally, dump Intelligence. Remember that “zero formal education” thing from earlier? Yeah.

Class Levels

1. Being a Cleric is a given, but being a catholic complicated our choice of domain a bit. Since you’re a monotheist, God falls under every domain, but your personal power set fits best in the Protection domain from an Unearthed Arcana. First level clerics get Spells, which they cast and prepare using their Wisdom. Protection clerics also get a Shield of the Faithful, letting them react to stick a shield or arm between an attacking creature and their target within 5′ of you. This makes the target harder to hit, imposing disadvantage on the attack.

You also have proficiency in Wisdom and Charisma saves, as well as two cleric skills. You’re a part of History, and I’m sure God’ll fill in any blanks you need to know. Religion is an option, but you’re not educated, just really persistent. That’s Persuasion. 

For cantrips, Light will help your dumb human eyes see in the dark and make your flag all glowy for your noble phantasms. Mending will help keep the soldiers’ uniforms in one piece while on campaign, and Spare the Dying will help keep the soldiers in one piece while on campaign.

Clerics prepare their spells, so your exact spell list isn’t a part of character creation, but I’ll still go over some to keep in mind. Compelled Duel and Protection from Evil and Good are part of your domain spell list, so you get them for free. The former can keep your squishier teammates safe by forcing an enemy to target you, while the latter can keep a key member safe from aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead. Given the number of golems you end up fighting most events, this is a good spell to keep on hand. Some other spells to keep in mind are Bless and Shield of Faith for combat support, and Healing Word to keep everyone on their feet.

Finally, the question of what weapons to use. The closest thing to a flagpole on the simple weapon list would probably be a Spear, used two-handed. However, your strength isn’t going to be great; you’ll mostly be using this to wave your banner around. You should also keep a Dagger on hand as well. I’d prefer a shortsword, but a dagger’s is the only simple finesse weapon, so it’s what we have to put up with.

2. At second level you can Channel Divinity once per short rest. As a protection cleric, you have two options to pick from.

Turn Undead forces a wisdom save on undead within 30′ of you or they have to run away for a minute or until it takes damage.

Radiant Defense channels holy energy into an ally within 30′ of you as an action. The first time they take damage in the next minute, that energy is released on the attacker, dealing 2d10+your level in radiant damage.

3. Third level clerics get second level spells, including your domain spells Aid and Protection from Poison. The former increases three creatures’ HP totals by five for eight hours, while the latter does exactly what the name describes. Some other spells to look at include Prayer of Healing for when you can’t quite take a short rest, Lesser Restoration for disease and conditions, and Augury to start getting some divine visions.

4. Use your first ASI to become a Heavy Armor Master. This reduces all nonmagical slashing, bludgeoning, and piercing damage by 3 while wearing heavy armor.  Calling what you wear “heavy” armor is a bit generous, but you’re throwing yourself in front of the enemy with d8s for hit dice, you can be a bit generous with yourself.

You also get another cantrip this level. Resistance adds a d4 to an ally’s saving throw, for when you need to be sure Spartacus doesn’t get charmed.

5. At fifth level, your Turn Undead transforms into Destroy Undead. Now when undead of CR 1/2 or lower fail the save, they just die instantly. 

You also get third level spells, including domain spells Protection from Energy and Slow. Sometimes an idiot lizard is throwing fire all over the place and you just don’t want to deal with it, and sometimes the DM gives you a maralith with seven extra attacks. These spells help protect the party from those situations. Some other spells to check out are Aura of Vitality for health regeneration, Beacon of Hope to give your party something to rally around, Daylight for the aesthetic, and Mass Healing Word for when your whole party plays barbarians.

6. You can now Channel Divinity twice between rests, and you are a Blessed Healer. Rather than just healing Brian Blessed, this means that whenever you cast a spell to heal someone else, you also gain life; 2+ the spell’s level, to be exact.

7. Seventh level clerics get fourth level spells. Your domain spells are Guardian of Faith and Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere. The former isn’t that in-character for you, but the latter gives a creature Invincibility at the cost of trapping them inside a hamster ball. Another spell to look over is Divination to ask the big man a question that burning you up inside.

8. Use your next ASI to become an Inspiring Leader. Give the party a 10 minute speech to give them temporary hit points equal to your level + your charisma modifier. You may not know anything about tactics, military history, who you’re fighting, or why you’re fighting, but you’ve got heart, dammit! And that counts for something! 

Also, your Destroy Undead kills at CR 1, and you gain a Divine Strike. Once per turn, you can add 1d8 Radiant damage to an attack for some extra holy favor.

9. Ninth level clerics get fifth level spells, including your final domain spells Antilife Shell and Wall of Force. The former can protect you from other creatures, so long as they aren’t forced through the barrier. The latter creates a solid wall between your party and danger, and is likely the closest you’ll get to invincibility at this level. For other spells, Dawn creates a cylinder of radiant damage you can move around the battlefield, and Mass Cure Wounds cures massive amounts of wounds.

10. You learn to call upon Divine Intervention. You use your action to beg the DM for a literal Deus Ex Machina, and roll percentile dice. If you roll lower than your level, you get some help. You can use this feature once per long rest, but if you succeed you have to wait a week before you use it again.

You also get another cantrip. Guidance lets you back seat game with the help of God, giving a creature a d4 it can add to one ability check.

11. Your Destroy Undead cranks up to killing anything CR 2 or lower, and you can prepare 6th level spells. Find the Path is another form of your Revelation skill, letting you find the most direct route to a chosen location, as long as that location stays in one place on the same plane. You could also check out Heal for, you guessed it, more healing.

12. Use your next ASI to become a leader on the battlefield with Tandem Tactician. Now you can Help as a bonus action with a range of 10 feet, and you can help on two attacks if they’re aimed at the same enemy. You’re not that accurate, so why not help out the who are?

13. Thirteenth level clerics get a Divine Strike Improvement, adding an extra d8 of radiant damage when you use it. You also learn seventh level spells! Divine Word can cripple weakened enemies, and more importantly it forces extraplanar creatures back to their own world for 24 hours. Regenerate is even more healing that you won’t have to pay attention to.

14. Your Destroy Undead increases to affect CR 3 undead. Now Mummies and Wights will tremble before your might! ...Isn’t it weird how the other Channel Divinity option doesn’t get any stronger?

15. Fifteenth level clerics get eighth level spells. Holy Aura will protect your party from anything Wall of Force won’t, Antimagic Field will give you a command spell to counteract most of the nonsense the other servants might be using.

16. Use your ASI to bump up your Wisdom for stronger spell saves.

17. Your Destroy Undead now destroys undead of CR 4 or lower, letting you instantly banish any ghost that comes your way. You also gain an Indomitable Defense. At the end of short or long rests, you can resist two types of damage from the following: Bludgeoning, Necrotic, Piercing, Radiant, and Slashing. You can also use your action to pass these resistances to another creature, who’ll hold onto them until your next rest or until you spend a bonus action to take them back.

Finally, you get 9th level spells! Mass Heal and Power Word: Heal will maximize your healing powers to help the rest of your party stay not dead.

18. You can now Channel Divinity three times per short rest.

19. Use your last ASI to round up your Dexterity for more accuracy and better saves and Charisma for more rousing speeches.

20. At your capstone level, your Divine Intervention Improvement means your calls for some holy help are always successful.

Pros:

You can set up a very strong Defense, shutting down and blocking out enemy attacks and spells. You can impose disadvantage, physically block their advance, counter any magic within 30′ of you, or make their attacks blow up in their face with some Radiant Defense.

Whatever damage does go through won’t be a problem thanks to all your Healing, keeping the rest of the party on their feet until the battle’s won.

Intelligence might be your dump stat, but you’ve got a hotline to the one who knows all, so it’s not a big deal. Spells like Divination and Find the Path will help keep the party pointed in the right direction.

Cons: 

You can’t really do all that much on your own, offensively speaking. Your highest attacking stat is a 14, and that will only help you swing a dagger around.

Your physical stats aren’t that good in general. 143 HP isn’t bad for a caster, but you want to be on the front lines, so it could be an issue. Aid is a great way to cover this weakness, but that does mean you’ll be spending spells to do so. Your low strength also means you’re stuck with the weakest heavy armor available, so your AC isn’t amazing.

You don’t need to worry about getting hit if the enemy has to shoot through a wall though, so stay on the defensive and pray your allies will take up arms with you.

Next up: Animal Abuse!

[shy-magpie]

RQG 66

I know it's a cheap bit,  but Hamid's eating as mood barometer is super effective Nice scene with Sasha bitterly replying to Bertie's suggestion that they consult their alumni only for Hamid to ask innocently where she matriculated from. Hamid seems to be taking charge well. His practical side makes him a natural tending to logistics. Besides  which do either of the others seem like they could handle the paperwork if they wanted to? Love the name, knew from the moment he said it that Bryn was sitting on that for ages. I'm worried about Sasha. There is no way Alex is just going to say "good roll on that health check! all she needs is a healer for a couple weeks to clear out the infection then she'll be fine.  Nothing deeper, no need to worry" Nice to see Bertie's prejudice against him, very nice that James agrees that he should have some consequence for being a bigot. Bertie you got these legitimately from a famous tomb: go to a museum or auction house, somewhere that pays extra for the origin; not a sketchy fence *sing song voice*Bertie is getting conned. For a man whose only friend  is from a banking family, Bertie has a hang up about who runs the world banks. Sasha is going straight to a healer! I was worried she would be too wary of strangers when she is vulnerable. Maybe since healers are a thing here she isn't as concerned as I feared. I suppose with gods running around and the relationship RPGs have with good & evil,  it's easier to avoid medical abuse. I like how all the clerics have their own look and attitude depending on their god Ooh is that Ben's voice I hear? Grisop oh good he's losing the squeak. I have trouble hearing in that range. What right magician? Board member - of the university? Corrupt university plot thread coming up? Franz Kafka? Like the turning into a bug author? Has a thing about burocracy? Might have to find a transcript this sounds like it was setting up plot but re listening isn't enough for me to catch all of it. Job what job? Was that the doctor Sasha is waiting to see? Is she about to see some kind of criminal. First impression of Grisop was getting long so I moved it to its own post. Lydia sounds like she is seeing a puppy not hearing about a goblin Sasha/Lydia sounds offended at the suggestion Grisop is faster than her. I love the worshipers of Artemis*, well their aesthetic as shown in this office. If Grisop is their cleric it might make for a more light hearted character than Zolf. Oh nice case on fighting healers Not sure why a spoiled leopard makes me trust the healer Is the spit necessary? I know the healing spell deals with the germs but you don't wipe your spit on people. Sasha self advocating! Good for her! Hamid lived in Prague? backstory given freely? no arrests,  deaths, or tragedy? Hamid has a sister! Bet it's an older sister, he is so a youngest child. His sister is an opera singer!?! Bryn, that line about forgetting Zolf wasn't with them /hurt/ It maybe admin but they forgot to get a sign they were working for the meritocracy and that caused trouble. Plus good leadership from Hamid to tend to the practical side ASAP. The name isn't going to get old any time soon. Having to be rescued from the person who healed you from your last major health problem is probably more relevant than "got squashed". People get squashed and healed without problem. Poor Sasha can't seem to get the problem with "bleeding everyday" through to this healer. "Botched resurrection" as easy to manage chronic condition is a weird thought OK fair Artemis is just the wrong school of healing for this. Knew Sasha was going to have to tell multiple people about her health. All roads lead to university Sasha:You're over-sharpening that blade. Healer: Yeah I'm doing it as a get out of my office thing. Alex: The timing is exceptional since I really hate splitting the party Kicked out? I know Hamid "made mistakes" but kicked out? Divided between "yay backstory" and "kick out my dragon? How dare!". Man I hope it isn't something that actually ruins my opinion of him. No becoming an adventurer to make up for past mistakes without said mistakes but please don't over shoot! As always love Alex's worldbuilding. The attention to detail and realism without using realism to justify being awful.  Of course teleporting loses its shine in a place it happens every few minutes. Only makes sense the teleporter is basically doing a customer service job and isn't paid enough to care whether Hamid is lying. Not entirely clear why Hamid lied though, they intend to do everything openly right? Can't exactly see sneaking up on an expert opinion. Plus his is usually so free with the gold that for a while I wasn't sure they were keeping track. (which is in character for someone of his background. Me and Sasha might note every penny but never met a someone raised with true financial security who didn't seem careless to me. The idea money actually runs out doesn't feel real to people whose next meal is as certain as the tides. People like Hamid and Bertie get extended credit not immediate consequences) Of course Alex ends on a mysterious scream. *while I am not a Greek myths geek,  I like Artemis more than Poseidon IRL, so I am probably a bit biased. The aro/arrow ace jokes on tumblr probably colored my view of her but I don't really see why I need to be objective about Greek gods. The ancient worshipers are beyond caring and the modern seem pretty relaxed as long as you aren't actively insulting.