#‘Memory's a poor thing to have. It's your own real hair and mouth and arms and eyes and hands I want.

[gatitties]

Web of love

─Yandere!Jujutsu Kaisen x fem!reader (platonic)

─Summary: your worst night followed by a wonderful day, are you slowly going crazy? Maybe, but you'll get out of here no matter what

─Warnings: blood, self-harm, anxiety attack, hallucinations, obsession, toxic behaviors, stalking, yandere stuff

Part One / Part Two / Part Three

The blank pages: Part One / Par Two

YOU TRY to control your shaky breathing, no one would take away the poor quality of sleep you had at this point in your life, but having nightmares right now was the last straw that broke your patience.

You looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror, your face was slightly wet because you needed to splash yourself to clear your thoughs, the cold water didn't help much anyway, you slapped your cheeks with moderate force hoping the feeling of mental numbness would go away, but again it didn't work.

"What the hell is wrong with me…?"

You touched your right cheek, slightly red from the previous blow, focusing your gaze on the reflection of the sink mirror, you were a complete disgust, never, not even in your worst period of exams, had you seen yourself so emaciated, the dark circles and bags under your eyes, the lack of color in your face, your frizzy hair, its lack or decrease, bloodshot eyes… you could continue to despise yourself while you stare at your reflection for hours, bringing out each of your flaws.

But there was one that bothered you beyond your appearance, your lack of emotions, your lack of thoughts, you refused to show anything other than a blank expression to those people who ruined your life, you refused to have to think complex things while they took care of everything, not being able to do anything on your own you began to stop complicating your life by thinking about solutions.

Who were you? What were your goals? Your tastes? When did your memories start to become blurry? When was the last time you really smiled? Were you real? Or just a corporeal desire of psychopaths eager to have something precious to protect? Since when was everything so gray, so monotonous? Did you still consider yourself a person with rights and freedom? When did you start accepting this?

"Hey… Hey!"

Focusing your lost vision again in the mirror, you weren't very surprised that you were hallucinating after having a brain as soft as baby food, it was you, maybe a couple of years younger who was speaking to you through the reflection, your mouth opened but no words came out as if you were a fish out of water.

"What's happening? Is this the future that awaits me? You're pathetic! Look at you… Where the hell is your stupid smile? You used to smile a lot before, why…? Why have I become a puppet?"

Your words mixed with a murmur, feeling how your heart squeezed painfully in your ribcage, your mind deciding to continue the macabre game of your existential crisis, replaying memories with your family and all the warm moments that kept you sane until now. You closed your eyes hoping that the hallucinations would disappear, but you only managed that instead of visuals they were audible, reproducing words of affection from your parents in a loop like torture, the breathing exercises you did before to calm yourself stopped working now, you bit your lip so hard that you ripped off some skin, not enough for you because you started running your nails down your arms, leaving red marks from the friction and force.

"You're better than this, what's all this whining about?! Get up and stop being a coward! You will only drag me into this meaningless future!"

"Shut up…"

"Are you even worth anything? You're so boring, I don't understand how those sorcerers want to protect you."

"Shut up."

"Are you going to cry to sleep like always? You are a disgrace, you are lucky, lucky that someone can love you so much, what would you do without them? They are much better than your own parents, accept it, accept it, they love you unconditionally! Even without knowing who you are or how you feel, even without knowing what your purposes are, they will love you! Accept your desti-"

"I said shut the fuck up! Silence!"

You shook your whole body, holding your head, you hit it a couple of times against the wall, so hard that even a couple of tiles fell off, a few drops of blood fell from your head, but you didn't care, the voice, your voice, it was gone, you swallowed your own poison, locking your inner, dark thoughts deep in your brain.

Your mind continued numb for a couple more minutes where all you could hear was a faint sound of static and a constant beeping, but it was more calming than having to listen to your own voice in that twisted way. Getting up once you calmed down a little, your reflection returned to normal, you splashed your face with cold water again, cleaning the blood on your head, nails and lip, taking one last look at your pitiful person, with your head still full of unknowns.

"Why is this happening to me?"

You rub your eyes tiredly, cleaning up the mess you had made, you decide to lie down on the cold bed once more, tucking yourself in and looking at the ceiling waiting for your body to magically disintegrate into ashes, too pretty to be real, when you realize the rays of light make your eyes hurt and sting, one more sleepless night, a new day awaits.

Faking and ignoring your nighttime crisis you get up to do your morning routine, being greeted by an overly cheerful Nobara as you passes through the dining room to look for some breakfast, you couldn't say the same for Megumi, who looked much more tense than normal, you didn't know where the others were but you didn't care much either, and Nobara and Megumi didn't say anything about your appearance, whether they noticed it or not, you're just glad they decided not to ask anything.

"You look like you've experienced the worst existential crisis of your life."

You spit out what you were drinking when you heard Maki just enter, from her appearance you could tell that she had gone out for a run early in the morning, Toge and Panda followed behind her, everything fell into a silence that was too uncomfortable for you because they stared at you carefully, completely ruining your efforts to hide your bad appearance.

"Just a bad dream…?"

You mumbled, avoiding everyone's gaze, Toge approached you, patting you on the head as if that would help you, although it was the most comforting thing you felt this week, it didn't feel as forced as other interactions.

To your relief, everyone continued with their things, while you ignored what they were talking about and continued eating breakfast, their talk became louder than usual, you frowned at this, deciding to listen lightly to the conversation, you froze when you remembered what they were talking about, the Kyoto school exchange, even though you didn't sign up for that stupid ceremony, as a student you had to, at the very least, be present, but you knew that a large concentration of sorcerers would only cause you more problems than solutions.

You knew why Megumi seemed so tense when the other students showed up, they didn't seem to have a very friendly relationship, they all seemed quite focused on the rivalry between high schools, which made you happy since the focus of attention wasn't on you, but rather in Itadori since he seemed to be targeted by the Kyoto school just for being Sukuna's vessel. The bad thing was that you had to stay in the teachers' room, with Gojo and a couple of other guys, the good thing was that you fell in love, Utahime was your spirit animal, definitely someone to admire just for her hatred of Gojo.

"So, why don't you want to compete? I can tell that you have quite a bit of accumulated cursed energy."

"Aww, meeting my favorite student? Well that's a delicate topic she doesn't-"

"I'm not talking to you, shut up."

You smiled internally when you saw Gojo's kicked dog expression, who didn't even let you talk to Utahime, she looked at you again, completely ignoring the albino's presence, it was, the first time since you arrived here that you felt like you were having a normal conversation with someone outside your life, someone disinterested in your protection, it was the most real interaction you had since then and it had to be ruined, not by Gojo, not by any student… curses, a planned attack, a lot of chaos was caused that you barely understood.

"Don't fight and don't try anything weird, although I'll know anyway, stay safe!"

It was the last thing Gojo said to you before leaving with the others to see what was happening outside, you couldn't have cared less about his words, and although locking you in your room was the main idea, your wires got crossed with your little sanity, if everyone was distracted by a greater evil you could use that to your advantage.

Since both sorcerers and curses were completely absorbed in their stupid fight, you used that to go outside, first it was a couple of meters, you didn't notice anyone, the capsule didn't stop you from leaving, so you walked further away, elated by your minimal achievement, you started running as fast as you could, reaching the busy streets of the city, smart enough not to go near the places Nanami frequented.

It had been a long time since your heart had been beating like this, so wild that you thought it might come out of your throat, you coughed for air once you stopped in a park, collapsing on the ground, you lied there, you laughed like a crazy person, some tears escaping of your eyes as you looked at the sky brighter than ever. You couldn't believe it, you were alone, with no one watching, you could feel all the positive emotions hitting you, there were so many sensations that you didn't know how to feel, but definitely much more relieved.

The smile on your face was indelible, you were happy, the world at this moment was painted in much more vibrant tones, the palette stopped being a constant tone of gray, you smiled at children, the elderly, you caressed animals, you bought a few flowers and then randomly give them to some people, completely in a bubble of happiness.

Although the bubble had to burst at some point, whether due to your subconscious or the pass of time, you knew that your sudden disappearance would only cause more of a stir, you wish you were left for dead, but you know those sons of bitches wouldn't have that in mind unless they saw your death with their own eyes or found your inert body.

Using your last moments of happiness, you decided to treat yourself to some of your favorite sweets, saying goodbye to the clerk who served you with one of your best smiles, you took the long way to the jujutsu high school, hoping to delay your reunion with your "loved ones" as long as possible.

"Stop there! Aren't you the missing girl? You've given us an incredible headache, come on, I'll take you back."

Someone you hadn't bothered to meet grabbed your wrist, pulling you without even waiting for you to react, analyzing her appearance, she was quite similar to Maki, maybe a family member.

"What a pity, sorry for the headache, but can you let me go? I know the way Maki number two."

At this moment the least you wanted was a confrontation, but your mood had not completely dropped, although now you were a little more upset than happy, your emotions overflowed, causing you to be a more sarcastic and sassy version of yourself.

Mai stopped instantly when she was called Maki number two, you had definitely found her weak spot, which turned into a passive-aggressive chat between the two of you, you would have been angry, but you couldn't be angry when you enjoyed the criticism you were giving each other, honestly it improved your day and you felt more human than before.

"Oh thank goodness you're fine! I thought those dirty curses had kidnapped you!"

Nobara didn't waste a second in hugging you as soon as she saw you, Itadori following her a second later, you assured them that you were okay not wanting everyone to crowd around you as the others also wanted to ask where you had been and why you disappeared when they were under stroke.

You drowned out the emotions you poured out during the day, swallowing everything, turning your expression blank as you felt Gojo's powerful gaze on you, everything calmed down for the next few minutes, the two schools finished the meeting and the Kyoto students left, before that you decided to exchange phones with Utahime.

Once you got rid of your companions, you locked in your room, unlike many other nights, you threw yourself on the bed, grabbing a cushion and screaming as if you were one of those teenagers in love in those saccharine series, you moved your legs in the air by pressing the cushion tighter between your arms. Changing your posture, you looked up at the ceiling just like the night before, with the big difference that now you couldn't contain your emotions, you giggled, biting your lip lightly, not noticing the wound you got earlier.

You saw it, you saw light at the end of the tunnel, ─not that way of course─, you saw how a door opened before your eyes, a new opportunity to free yourself from the chains that kept you captive with all these psychopaths, experience freedom after so much time made you delirious, made you imagine that you could get rid of them, that they would leave you alone, even if it was risky, your only option was to escape, run away from everything and everyone without thinking twice, without thinking about what can happen in the future, you would give everything to re-experience what you felt today when you ran away.

You sighed dreamily as you remembered the feeling of freedom, closing your eyes, not worrying about whether you were going to be able to fall asleep today or have another boring game of chess, oblivious to the blue eyes that watched from your window.

"It seems like someone is in her rebellious stage, maybe she need some restrictions…"

He muttered, unhappy with your disobedience but excited to see you happy, he didn't think he would see it so soon, your smile was beautiful just the way it was and you decided to hide it like that for them? They were only worried about you, why did you have to keep all that to yourself? They wanted to be part of your happiness, couldn't you understand it? Well, they will make you understand it no matter what.

Once he made sure that your breathing was stable, he entered your room, kissed your forehead like every night, only this time he sat next to you, caressing your head slowly, observing how, even while asleep, your silly smile was still painted on your face, the flash of his phone made you frown slightly, but you didn't wake up.

"I hope you rest well today, I'm sorry for not helping you the night before, but if I had come in you would hate me more, wouldn't you?"

He said to himself, closing the door slowly, giving you one last look before leaving, he sent the photo to the group chat he had with his students, reviewing the last photos where any of the four were able to capture something more emotion than indifference. Just like you, the small display of emotions only opened another door for them, that small display of freedom for you and emotions for them, was simply another trigger for your problems, after all, the more you move, the more you get tangled in the web.

[leggerefiore]

ive been marinating this idea in my head for a week and now i must request: ingo, emmet, larry, and cyrus (all separately ofc) when their beloved is hopped up on anasthesia after a surgery and when s/o finally awakens the poor thing temporarily doesn't remember who the stunningly handsome man at their bedside is but they sure don't mind when they get kissed by him... (bonus funny: confusing the twins for one another. hope emmet doesnt get too jealous...) its all the anathesia tropes in one lol

I can finally return to this after having gone under anesthesia and recovered from it....

cw: nondescript surgery mentions, temporary memory loss, confusion, fluff,

characters: Ingo, Emmet, Cyrus, Larry

The procedure went well to your poor boyfriend's (and your own) relief. He had stayed for the entire length, simply far too worried and ready to act as your medical advisor for anything that may arise. Thankfully, nothing had, and it had entirely gone to plan. Now, you were still under the effects of the general anaesthesia and thus unconscious. However, you had been otherwise cleared, and he was able to come in and wait for you to regain consciousness. Naturally, he did.

Sitting at your bedside, he quietly did things to pass the time until you began to awaken. He was a bit distressed to see you in such a condition, yet was happy that you had made it through everything so well. Everything moved slowly until… you began to stir. He put down whatever he had been using to distract himself to focus on you. Your eyes opened, and you sat up weakly. Blinking, you met his gaze. Something about your general behaviour told him that you were not entirely back to normal…

Still, he leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead and grasp your hand.

● “… Emmet?” you asked, bewildered to see him at your bedside. Ingo blinked at your words and opened his mouth to speak. That was not an uncommon thing he heard, but it felt strange coming from you. “Emmet… Why are you here…?” you held on to his hand tightly, “… You kissed me, too…” Ingo felt somewhere between chuckling and losing his mind. He certainly hoped you were not letting Emmet randomly kiss you, but he supposed it was the anaesthesia causing your brain to not think logically.

▲Ingo▼

● “Emmy…” you called out to him again, “Your clothes are weird today…” Your hand began to play with his sweaters' sleeve. He sighed. You definitely were not in your right mind. “… I like you, Emmy, I really do,” you suddenly continued and looked a little embarrassed, “You're really cute, but… I love Ingo, you know? He's so sweet… A real gentleman…” Your gushing made his eyes go wide. His chest fluttered. Gentleman…? “Oh, don't tell him…”

● “… Dearest,” he mumbled, holding your hand again, “… I'm Ingo.” You blinked and opened your mouth. “I love you, too,” he chuckled and pressed another kiss to the corner of your mouth. You began to laugh yourself. “Emmet might pop in later… He mentioned something about getting you a cake…” Ingo's free hand went to sweep his hair back. Would your doctor approve that? He would need to ask and stop Emmet from wasting his time if you could not… Before he could get lost more in contemplation, you reached your free arm up to pull him in. It seemed that you wanted a hug now. Who would he be not to oblige you?

○ You stared at him for a long moment extra when he pulled back. Emmet tilted his head while you grasped his hand tightly. Your eyes squinted. For a moment, the twin debated if you were unable to recognise him. Before he could begin to fret, you spoke. “… Ingo?” you questioned, “Hey, Ingo! What are you doing here…? Where is… here?” You looked around the room in confusion. Emmet felt floored. Ingo? You mistook him for his brother? He blinked. “Did you kiss me, too?” you seemed to avoid his gaze. Emmet wanted to speak, but you moved to stare at your IV, confused. His hand tightened around yours before you tried anything.

▽Emmet△

○ “You aren't wearing your normal clothes,” you instead shifted your attention back to him, “… Hey, why are you wearing a Joltik t-shirt?” The print on the front of his shirt was a Joltik chewing on a wire. It was something that you had bought for him while out shopping. His heart hurt. Did you not remember? Why did you think he was Ingo? Why would Ingo be at your side after a surgery? “I'm sorry, Ingo…” you sighed, “I'm genuinely complimented you feel that way about me, but I love Emmet… You know that, right? Emmy is so cute… I just want to cling to him all the time…” The younger twin's eyes went wide. Oh… Oh, that was verrrry adorable.

○ “Darling,” he cooed and leaned forward to peck your lips, “I am Emmet.” You gasped when he pulled away. A giggle left him. It was truly no mystery why he loved you so much. His free hand went to remove a few stray strands from your face. “You are verrrry sweet,” he continued, “Ingo said he would come later. The station needed one of us.” Emmet was truly grateful Ingo had offered to handle all of their work today so he could be by your side today. The older twin had also offered to bring food in for you both whenever he got off. You lightly tugged his arm. Right. You. He smiled at you and was ready to listen to you more.

🌌Cyrus🛰

☄️ You were silent as he pulled back. Your eyes seemed to stare right through him as you remained wordless. Worry entered his mind, but Cyrus quashed it quickly with a logical explanation. Your throat was likely parched. His eyes scanned the room for a water he had bought. Seeing it on a nearby table, he went to stand up and grab it for you. However, his actions were halted by you reaching out a hand to grab his sleeve. “… You're really handsome…” you mumbled. Cyrus nodded. That was not exactly what he expected the first words out of your mouth to be, but he could accept that nonetheless.

☄️ “… Who are you, mister?” you asked. The blue-haired man froze in his spot. The water was forgotten. What…? That question… You surely recognised him. He was your boyfriend. That felt like something impossible to forget with how often it weighed on his mind. “… You're quite a bit older than me, aren't you?” you continued. Cyrus was dumbstruck. Quite a bit… Older than you…? Were you messing with him? “You kissed me… But we don't know each other… Did you mistake me for someone?” you babbled, “I hope you didn't… I want you to be single…”

☄️ Cyrus sighed. That was quite enough of that. Clearly, the anaesthesia was altering your cognition and making you forget specific things. Fine. He was not bothered by that. Or you comment about his age. “… I am your boyfriend, so I am not single,” he explained, “My name is Cyrus… And I'm only twenty-seven, actually.” You gasped at his words. Another remark about his age was made. It was against his usual behaviour, but he leaned forward to kiss you on the lips and silence you. It working and being reciprocated calmed him. This would pass… He just needed to be patient. You gazed up at him with adoration when he pulled away. Suddenly, his confidence returned.

🍙 You squinted at him as he moved away to sit back down. His nerves tensed as he recalled the last time Geeta had given him a look like that. Larry did not understand what was going through your mind. Were you in pain? He hoped not. Though he was more than ready to call for someone if needed. You remained silent for an awkward moment. He supposed he had not said anything either. Maybe you were not sure what to say. Should he start talking? Asking you how your surgery went did not seem like an appropriate thing. Before he could open his mouth, you finally spoke, “… Hey, did I take your bed here?” Larry went still. What did that mean?

💼Larry🏢

🍙 “… This is a hospital, right, mister?” you continued, “Isn't this… like, your bed? You seem like you belong here…” There was no response to that from the salaryman. You were out of it. That much was more than obvious now. He also could not deny that there was some truth to that statement. Him falling asleep at his desk the other day was a bit concerning, certainly, but he wondered how you missed the IV in your arm. “Why am I in your room? Do I care for the elderly?” your words cut deeper each time you spoke. His trained facade was almost ready to shatter under your innocent harshness. “… You are kind of cute... In a non-traditional way, I think,” you mumbled to yourself.

🍙 You having apparently forgetting him was not the worst thing, he supposed. Larry was going to avoid thinking too much about the last words that you had spoken. Maybe a refresher would help you. He certainly did not plan on leaving your side. Geeta might make a surprise visit, and the last thing he wanted was her ire. Well, that, and he did not exactly want to leave you alone after surgery. “… I'm your partner,” he explained, “I'm Larry. We've been together for a few years now… You insisted on us dating, actually.” You nodded deeply and mumbled an acknowledgement. Somehow, this felt less exhausting than the league office. You tugged his sleeve and demanded another kiss to prove it. Now, he felt the exhaustion settling in.

[derangedrhythms]

[…] memory’s a poor thing to have. It’s your own real hair and mouth and arms and eyes and hands I want.

Philip Pullman, from ‘The Amber Spyglass’

[the-fiction-witch]

Movie

Media - The Artful Dodger AU Character - Jack Dawkins Couple - Jack X Reader Reader - Y/n Rating - 15 Word Count - 2719

Jack and Y/n were both fresh out of med school doing their first placement together at the small local hospital in the town of Port Victory. The hospital gave them a small room to share in the attic with two beds, a bathroom, and a small kitchenette. They were both pretty used to each other at this point after so long being friends and roommates. Jack yawned a little as he got changed out of his scrubs. rubbing his neck a little and cracking his back given he'd been in surgery all day assisting Professor McGregor,

The door of the room suddenly burst open making him jump. But it was only Y/n.

Y/n rushed in still in her own scrubs from being in the ward all morning, glasses on her nose and her ice coffee cup in her hand.

Jack turned around and sighed. crossing his arms and watching as she came in, "Ever heard of knocking, eh, Y/n?"

"I have tea." She said as she came in setting her cup on the counter,

Jack raised an eyebrow for a moment before walking over to the counter, and looking into her cup of coffee, "You call that tea? It's just a load of rubbish and ice. and it's not even tea. it's coffee." he teased for a moment, knowing full well she didn't mean tea. or maybe she did. he would have preferred tea.

she flicked his nose playfully "Tea! On the Marcy situation" she said bringing back the memories of the many conversations they'd had about a local girl named Marcy who was often seeing the midwife,

he nodded, rubbing his now red nose for a moment in a playful manor before crossing his arms across his chest again "What about it?" he asked, sitting down on the edge of his bed and crossing his legs, looking up at her

Y/n began to change out of her scrubs not really caring she was doing it Infront of jack, the two long since use to each other enough they didn't really care anymore "So, as we know she is now on pregnancy four baby six. And apparently baby six has a different daddy to both babies one and two, and babies four and five but might still potentially be daddy of baby three."

jack chuckled a little "so baby six has a different dad than all the other children. and possibly even a different one from baby three. good god, that woman gets around"

"and apparently! The daddys of babies four and five and one and two and brothers!"

jack looked at her with wide eyes for a moment before he started to laugh a little, resting his hand over his mouth "you've got to be bloody kidding me, right. those poor children won't even know who's their real family when they grow up. Y/n, do you know who it is that fathered baby three?"

"supposedly it was Rodger milklin but he's her cousin... So I'm really hoping that's a rumour" she said as she finished getting changed into her little dress and letting loose her hair from the bun it has been in all day

Jack thought for a moment, sighing and leaning back "oh god. I am praying to god that is a rumour too. but knowing her, it's probably true.. she always had a thing for Rodger"

"gross." She said coming to sit on his bed "whatcha do today?"

Jack shrugged a little, "eh. nothing too interesting. I spent the whole morning in Surgery on an emergency appendix removal with professor McGregor. you?"

"helped the midwife for a bit, wrapped some wounds, delivered some drugs all the busy work while you were off having fun."

Jack rolled his eyes a little at her last comment, shaking his head. giving her a playful glare "oh yeah, that was absolutely so much fun. getting blood and guts all over your scrubs while removing a burst appendix from a 65 year old man with high blood pressure. very much fun."

"yeah and I had to tell someone they can't give there baby a cup of nightquil to help them sleep."

Jack laughed a little, leaning back against the wall "Alright. you win. I'd much rather remove an appendix than have to tell someone that nightquil isn't for babies.."

"Thank you" she smiled leaning back with her head on his lap "what do you wanna do tonight?"

Jack looked down at her and smiled, watching as she laid her head in his lap. he sighed, running a hand through her hair gently "I don't know. what do you want to do?"

she shurgged "Sneeds on call tonight so we're all good... You wanna go anywhere?"

Jack shrugged and smiled a little, gently running his fingers through her hair. he really did think she was pretty, but he'd never say that to her "we could always go into town? get a drink at the pub? or if you want we could stay in and watch a movie"

"movie sounds better. I don't like the pub everyone there is old and drunk and ask me gross questions."

"yeah, old men are always trying to flirt with you there.. they all need to find out you're off the market"

"it's cause people see woman in medicine and immediately think nurse. And not like cool busy life saving nurse. Like Halloween costume jerk you under the blankets kinda nurse." She sighed "I can't even wear scrub dresses anymore cause people just pinch my ass. Which sucks cause they are so cute" she explained but then looked at him "off the market? Am I a house?"

Jack chuckled at her statement, leaning back against the wall again "yeah yeah yeah I know what you mean. and by off the market I mean you're not single. I'm making sure all the old men know that you're not a free agent" he continued to play with her hair gently, watching her as she laid down "you should still wear the scrubs though. those dresses really do look good on you... even if people are gonna pinch your ass"

"you just say that so you can do it" she chuckled

Jack gasped jokingly, faking an offended expression "me? I would never do such a thing. I would never even dare to think about it"

she raised an eyebrow at him "you slap my ass every time you walk past me"

"what can I say, I can't control myself when there's a pretty girl walking in front of me all the time, plus sometimes I need you to move and it's the best way to get you to step out the way just give you a little pat on the butt,"

she rolled her eyes "so? Movie? Snacks? Take away?"

"yeah yeah yeah, film, snacks and takeaway sounds perfect. you pick the movie I'll get the snacks"

she immediately whined that he moved and laid on his bed pouting "no... Bring the lap back."

Jack laughed as she immediately started pouting, he sat down nextist to her and gently laid her head in his lap again "you're very needy, you know that?"

she hummed happily and ignored his comment

Jack chuckled again, shaking his head a little as he started playing with her hair again "such a little brat"

"popcorn... Gummy worms... Chocolate... Crisp." She explained sleepily

Jack laughed again and nodded, gently ruffling her hair before slowly moving out from under her head "alright, I'll go get the snacks. get the movie onto the Tv, Princess"

she whined again

Jack laughed as she whined again. he gently swatted her with a pillow "oh quit complaining. I'll be right back"

she tossed the pillow back to him

Jack chuckled as he caught the pillow with one hand, watching as she tossed it back to him. he then smiled, throwing the pillow back at her jokingly "quit it, or I won't bring you any snacks"

"Fine."

Jack laughed again and stood up, ruffling her hair one more time before heading to the door "I'll be back soon. pick a good movie, eh?"

she got to her feet and straightened her dress giving him a playful punch in the arm before she went to set the TV up

Jack smiled at her as she got up, rubbing his arm as she punched him gently in the arm. he chuckled for a moment before leaving the room to go get the snacks. Jack headed down and left the hospital though the normal entry way. And popped to the local shop just down the street grabbing a whole bunch of their usual go to snacks. When he returned Y/n has set up the small TV on the counter and fixed up jack's bed with pillows and blankets so they could get cosy and watch the movie

"Hey." She smiled from the bed already with her back against the wall, a blanket over her legs,

Jack chuckled as he looked over at the TV, smiling when her saw how she'd made up his bed for them. it was nice to see her making it comfy for the two of them. he walked into the room, holding up the big bag of snacks as he closed the door. "I'm back, princess"

"Welcome back." She chuckled patting the space for him

Jack chuckled and sat down on the bed next to her, setting the snacks on the bedside table and kicking his shoes off "I see you've made us all very cosy"

"very cosy." She smiled taking her drink "I picked walle as the movie"

Jack smiled, grabbing a couple of snacks before getting comfortable in the bed next to her, gently resting his head against the wall and watching the Tv "Perfect choice. I love that movie"

she smiled putting the movie on and turning off the lights so they could cosy up tucking the blankets around them

Jack smiled as she turned the lights off, he then wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her body in closer to his. he was only doing it because it was colder with the lights off obviously.

she softly smiled resting her head on his shoulder to share the warmth together tucking the blankets around them as they got cosy and comfy with the popcorn in his lap

Jack smiled as she laid her head on his shoulder, wrapping his arm around her a little tighter as she laid her body closer to his. he loved being close to her like this, even if it was just for the warmth. he couldn't deny that she was adorable when she cuddled into him like this. he also couldn't deny the fact that he really wanted to just lean down and kiss her forehead

they sat together watching the movie sharing their snacks as it goes on.

Y/n began to smile widely when the robots fell in love and started acting really cute. She cooed a little and found herself glancing up at jack secretly

Jack smiled as he watched the movie with her, he had to admit, there was something adorable about the robots falling in love and them being all cute. he glanced down at her when he noticed her smiling so much and looking up at him. he smirked a little, trying so hard not to say how cute she looked

her eyes seemed fixed on him for a moment as the sounds of the movies soundtrack continued. Before without warning she sat up and pressed her lips to his. She meant to only do a quick peck but ended up staying kissing him for a good five seconds before she pulled back

Jack let out a noise of surprise as she kissed him but couldn't deny that he liked the feeling of her lips on his. he had completely forgotten they were watching the movie and had just enjoyed the feeling of her lips against his own. he was shocked when she pulled back so quickly, his lips chasing hers as if asking for more.

"Sorry I uhh-"

Jack didn't let her apologise, he immediately pressed his lips up against hers again in a kiss. this time a lot more passionate than the last, as he gently ran his hands through her hair. he had wanted to kiss her for so long and god he wasn't about to let her apologise for it Jack pulled her body closer to his, his hands moving down to her waist as he continued kissing her. He couldn't deny how much he had wanted to do this for so long, how much he had wanted her. he loved feeling her body against his and god her lips on his felt so perfect

Y/n pulled back to catch her breath leaning he forehead on his "...damn..." She gasped

Jack panted hard as she pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers and chuckled a little as she gasped breathlessly, his arms still around her waist "god. you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that"

"how long?" She chuckled

"since the first time I met you," Jack chuckled again, gently rubbing the skin where his hands were resting on her hips

"me too" she softly smiled

Jack smiled as she admitted she felt the same, it made his heart flutter hearing her say that. he gently caressed her hips with his thumbs and chuckled "you have no idea how hard it's been to not kiss you all this time you know"

"I think I have an idea." She nodded blushing a little "we are pretty awful it took us this long"

Jack chuckled as she blushed, gently cupping her face in both hands once again "I suppose we are both pretty awful. especially since I've wanted you since I first saw you in that little nurses uniform on your first day. nearly drove me wild"

she softly Giggled "yeah?"

Jack chuckled watching her giggle, gently running his thumbs across her cheeks "yeah. and the way you bite your bottom lip when you're focused. god, you have no idea how much I've wanted to bite it myself"

she giggled again "... I'm surprised you didn't know. Maybe you do sleep like the dead you haven't heard me in the shower every morning naming the showerhead after you" she giggled

Jack eyes widen at the mention of her naming the showerhead after him, his brain instantly imagining it. he chuckled and chuckled, raising an eyebrow at her "is that so? well isn't that interesting" Jack chuckled as he pulled her body a little closer to his and smirked, his voice a little lower "I didn't know that, princess. and I like the sound of it. but you know, calling my name doesn't need to just be in the shower"

"yeah?"

Jack smiled and chuckled again, he gently pulled her body to his more, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling so she was sitting on his lap, her legs either side of his. he looked her up and down for a moment, his mind running wild with the thoughts of what he wanted to do with her "yeah... can call my name anytime, anywhere"

she giggled and happily pulled him back to kiss her

Jack happily let her pull him to kiss her again, his hands grasping at her hips as they kissed, pulling her closer to him. god he couldn't get enough of how her lips felt against his, he had wanted this for so long. he slowly began to kiss her neck, his lips moved down her neck and to her collar bone, gently placing kisses and light bites to wherever he could. she tasted so good and her body was pressed so close to his it drove him insane, he moved his hands down to her thighs, gently rubbing them through the material of her dress as he continued to kiss and bite her skin, he absolutely loved how her body felt in his hands

"jack ... Jack..." She gasped

hearing her gasp and moan his name sent jolts of electricity through his body, he wanted to hear her say his name over and over again. he smiled against her skin and began to bite harder, his hands squeezing at thighs

"jack!" She chuckled stopping him a moment "we should... Probably you know... Turn off the Disney movie."

Jack chuckled against her skin at the mention of the movie, he'd completely forgotten that the movie was even still playing. he pulled back from her neck for a moment and gently cupped her face in his hands, looking into her eyes "yeah yeah yeah, we probably should turn that off, shouldn't we princess… we have much more important things to do."

[whisperinglines]

“Oh, Will,” she said, “what can we do? Whatever can we do? I want to live with you forever. I want to kiss you and lie down with you and wake up with you every day of my life till I die, years and years and years away. I don’t want a memory, just a memory …” “No,” he said, “memory’s a poor thing to have. It’s your own real hair and mouth and arms and eyes and hands I want. I didn’t know I could ever love anything so much. Oh, Lyra, I wish this night would never end! If only we could stay here like this, and the world could stop turning, and everyone else could fall into a sleep …” “Everyone except us! And you and I could live here forever and just love each other.” “I will love you forever, whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again …” “I’ll be looking for you, Will, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one’ll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you … We’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams … And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we’ll be joined so tight …”

- P. Pullman, The Amber Spyglass

[multiversxwhore]

☾☾☾Hello! Hope you enjoy what you’re about to read, I would appreciate if you like, and reblog my work here on tumblr. Please do not share my work anywhere else, and if you see it has been, or someone is claiming the work as their own please tell me. My master list is pinned to my page if you wish to see more! ☽☽☽

Paring: Eddie Brock x black!oc

Warning: angst, mentally being held hostage, some violence.

Word count: 2k

Chapter7—The Mysterious Case of Malia

When Edeth passed out back in Jessica’s apartment, a wave of memories crashed into her mind, and instantly she felt overwhelmed. She remembered everything, from her life before, all the way to the day Jesica cracked her head on the bedroom door of Killgrave’s home.

“Malia pack your shit we’re leaving.” Jessica ran around the room stuffing as much clothes into a bag as she could. She stopped in her tracks when she realized the young woman was planted on the bed where Killgrave left her. She looked absolutely stunning in her nightgown, Malia’s naturally coily hair frames her face. The make up he hired a stylist to do made Malia look like a goddess, it gave the illusion that she wasn’t wearing any foundation on her skin.

“No, Kevin told me to wait.” She folded her arms, and turned away from Jessica, though there’s been an internal battle over whether this is her delusion or Killgraves. Malia used to be able to tell the difference when his powers were affecting her, but as of late she wasn’t too sure.

“Don’t do this shit to me Malia, we just talked about this last week— did you just call him Kevin? Is that his real name?” Jessica had come around to the side of the bed where Malia still sat as if permanently stuck to the bed.

“A week? It’s been a week? No that can’t be right— he said he would…” Malia trailed off in her own thoughts, Jessica knew she was a goner, she didn’t wanna be rough with the poor girl, but if she didn’t make a move soon before Killgrave came back, who knows how much longer they’d be stuck.

“Fuck it.” Jessica yanked Malia off the bed, and instantly she started to flail about like a fish, anything to get free of Jessica’s iron grip.

“I’m not trying to hurt you.” She grunted, Malia had fallen onto the carpeted floor, and tried to crawl her way back to the bed.

“No! I can’t leave! I have to stay! I have to!” She started screaming, and Jessica prayed to whatever higher power that existed, that no one heard what was going on inside the house right now.

Jessica grabbed Malia by the ankle dragging her out of the room, she kicked and shouted the whole time. When they got to the door, Jessica roughly pulled Malia up to her feet. She tried to attack Jessica, the look in Malia’s eyes looked conflicted.

Out of reflex, Jessica pushed her back into the door, but a little too hard. Malia’s head bounces off the tall dark oak, as she crashes into it, the force of the push causes it to break off the hinges.

The dream stopped there, her mind was blank for a moment. It wasn’t until she felt a warm rough hand trace over her cheeks, did Edeth open her eyes. Her vision is clouded from the hours of heavy sleeping.

“Eddie? Where are we?” The bed she’s lying in is much too comfortable to be Jessica’s, and Edeth hasn’t been in her own apartment in so long, she forgot what it looked like.

“Hey there sleepy head, how you feeling?” Eddie would do his best to procrastinate for as long as possible; how would he explain that they had flown her all the way to California to his ex fiancé's house where they’re currently hiding from Edeth’s crazy ex boyfriend?

“Mhm I’m fine, but babe where are we?” Edeth sat up, she looked around the room, the decor seemed simple, and gave nothing away as to where they could be. Eddie scratched at the back of his head nervously, he wasn’t sure how she would take this information. The last thing he wanted was for her to freak out, as sensitive as she’s been lately, he wouldn’t be surprised if she passed out again.

Just as he opened his mouth to come up with a calming way to explain the situation, in walks Anne, with a tray of scones, and a teapot. “So I made her some tea—

“Who the hell is this?” Edeth stood up, arms folded, and lips pressed together. She eyed the large diamond ring on her finger, then her eyes moved up to Anne’s face. Is this the woman Eddie had struggled to tell her about?

“Damn it Anne, you always have perfect timing.” He breathed through his nostrils, he pinched the bridge of his nose, and for the first time since he met her, Eddie wished Jessica was here. She’s always been able to say what everyone else wouldn’t, but Eddie didn’t have the willpower to do so.

“Princess, we had to move you away somewhere Killgrave wouldn’t find you. The only person I knew that would give us shelter was Anne…my ex fiancé.” Eddie mumbled the last part hoping Edeth would ignore it, his eyes down cast unable to meet her fiery stare.

“Where’s Jess?” Edeth felt around in her jacket pockets for her phone, only to come up empty. Panic settled in as unfamiliarity of Anne’s home only made her feel more uncomfortable.

“I put her in charge of security since she wouldn’t sit still.” Eddie got up from his seat at the foot of the bed, he grabbed onto her shoulders letting his hands fall down her arms to her hands. Anne felt intrusive, like she shouldn’t be seeing this, yet she couldn’t look away. A pang of jealousy shot through her, Eddie was sweet like that with her when they were together, but he never looked at her like that. He showed such tenderness, while simultaneously being assertive, it’s clear to Anne that Eddie is the leader in their relationship. He had never taken that initiative before, he could never make decisions, always unsure of himself. She thought she had out ran him, but clearly all he needed was a moment to breathe.

“I’m Anne, I didn’t mean to startle you, Eddie told me everything. I just thought you must be exhausted so I brought you something to bring your energy back up.” Anne held up the tray, a hopeful smile on her lips, Edeth looked back to Eddie. He gave her a nod of approval, Anne seemed somewhat offended by this, but she tried to understand how Edeth doesn’t trust anyone right now.

“Excuse my standoffish behavior, I’m all gloomy nowadays. If I were you, I wouldn’t leave this house, Killgraves reach is limitless.” Edeth took a bite of the chocolate chip scone, and took a seat on the edge of the bed. Saying his name out loud felt like summoning Candyman at this point, he must be pissed. Edeth thought to herself, an icy sensation ran down her spine shaking her to her core.

“What? Why would I do that? It’s not like this guy knows who I am, we shouldn’t be scared of him. Eddie and I have fought bigger monsters.” Anne turned her nose up in the air, she let her arrogance take a hold of her. If she could take down a parasite from an unknown planet, she could handle one man.

“Anne is a bit more complicated than that.” Eddie tried to explain, this was where the two of them always clashed. Anne succeeds at something once, she thinks she can take over the world, all of a sudden she knows everything, and you can’t tell her otherwise. Hard headed. Venom rumbled from within him, Eddie placed a hand over his chest agreeing.

“Come on, it’s one man.” Anne sat down the tray on the nightstand, she looked between the both of them, Eddie, and Edeth, now it occurred to her that Eddie skipped important parts of the story.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Anne questioned, her eyes squinted, she looked them both up and down analyzing their body language. Eddie is a bit fidgety as he usually is when he’s going to lie, but Edeth sat calmly on the bed, one leg crossed over the other. She quietly nibbled on her snack.

“Anne, just trust me.” Eddie pleaded, his hands pressed together. He didn’t even want to talk about Killgrave with anyone that wasn’t involved.

“Trust you? How can I when you’re withholding information about some alleged psycho.” Anne argued, before he could rebuttal, Edeth stood up. Her face twisted into a look of annoyance, she had been trying to think, and put the pieces together. It’s clear to her though, that Anne, and Eddie weren’t going to shut up long enough for her to figure anything out.

“This is your only warning, you’re already in enough danger just looking at me, but if you decide to take this any further, no take backs.” Edeth dusted off her shirt, and jeans that were too tight because clearly they belonged to Jesse.

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Edeth.” Eddie spoke up, even though he’s the one that called Anne in the first place, he didn’t mean to get her involved with anything else.

“You’re the one that called her.”

“It’s not your call Eddie.”

Both Edeth, and Anne spoke at the same time, both their gazes intense. Eddie flopped back onto the chair next to the bed, he was tired already, and in dire need for a nap himself. You gave up too easily, Venom teased; he was right, but by the look on Edeth’s face, he didn’t want to push it.

“Okay tell me the whole thing.” Anne pulled up a seat, and Edeth went over to the window. She sighed, she sucked her teeth, disappointed how she’d never be able to enjoy this impromptu trip to San Francisco.

“The psycho you referred to, his name is Killgrave, and he’s after me and Jessica.” Edeth started, that was the second time she had said his name out loud, flashes of his face past her mind. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and explained everything from the beginning.

Anne remained silent as she hung on Edeth’s each word not wanting to miss anything, and when Edeth was done, Anne still hadn’t said anything.

“Any questions?” Edeth folded her arms over her chest, the sun was starting to set, so the natural lighting in the room was starting to become dim.

“Um, if this guy is so powerful, why the hell did you come here? I mean, it’s not exactly a fortress of solitude.” Anne chuckled, she was right though, if Killgrave wanted to, he could walk right into the front door.

“It’s because he doesn’t know you, sure he knows me, and Jess. Hell he’s probably even caught up with Eddie by now, but you’re not the only person connected to Eddie from his past life. Killgrave would have to do some serious detective skills in order to deduce who Eddie would be most likely to run to. Since Killgrave is…impatient, and impulsive, I doubt he’d guess the ex fiance.” Edeth explained, to which Eddie was shocked by how confidently she spoke of Killgrave now, as if she’s gotten a closer look into his psyche somehow.

“You’ve been googling me?” Eddie joked lightheartedly, it wasn’t enough to totally ease the tension, but he tried.

“I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t look you up, don’t worry, I didn’t look too far. Just criminal records, history of your parents, their criminal records, where you went to school. You know, surface level stuff.” She smiled sweetly at him, it wasn’t genuine, but he hadn't seen her smile in so long he’d take what he could get.

“Cute, an internet stalker.” Eddie mumbled to himself, one of Venom’s tendrils stretched out of Eddie’s side, and gently caressed Edeth’s face. Anne looked away this time, slightly uncomfortable by the intimacy, and even though she’s happy in her new relationship, watching them stung a little.

“Missed you too V.” Edeth whispered, she enjoyed the cool, smooth sensations on her skin, but this only made her feel melancholy. All she wanted was to go home, and get under the covers with Eddie forever. She wanted to be held by him, she wanted to lay her head on his chest, and listen to his heartbeat while they ate junk food. Edeth knew the only way she’d have that back, is to deal with Killgrave, and that’s what she had to do to get her happiness back, then so be it.

“I got you clothes, and some real food.” Jessica came walking through the bedroom door, a blank expression on her face, which worried Edeth. They’ve known each other for years. Rather most of it was real or not, either way, Jessica never seemed to display any emotion other than irritation, and anger. To see neither, meant something was wrong, as if she read Edeth’s mind, Jessica stopped her before she could say anything.

“Just shut up, and change your clothes. The food will be down stairs when you’re ready.” She threw a bag from Forever 21 at Edeth, glared at Eddie, and Anne, then left.

“She’s angry.” Anne stated, she was bewildered by the attitude Jessica displayed just now, it was silent, but deadly.

“No, he’s on the verge of explosive…considering she didn’t break your door just now.” Edeth mumbled looking down at the bag, she couldn’t help the smirk that grew onto her lips. That’s when it occurred to her, the real reason behind Jessica’s dark cloud, she had to go shopping.

“Well, I’ll let you get dressed, see you down stairs.” Anne’s eyes lingered on Eddie as she stood up, Edeth caught the way she looked at him, she didn’t need her powers to know that Anne knew she may have missed him. Eddie, on the other hand, was watching Edeth, but he could feel Anne’s eyes on him.

“That means you too Edward.” Edeth chuckled, he stood up from his seat, stretching as he stalled for time. Once Anne had left the room, and her footsteps could be heard descending the stairs, he wandered over to Edeth.

“This’ll be over soon.” He pulled her in by the waist, planted a kiss gently on her lips, and then on her forehead. He lingered there for a moment longer, then reluctantly pulled away. Before he could fully turn to leave, Edeth caught his hand, and pulled him back.

Her hand cupping his cheek, they held each other's gazes, the words that came from Edeth’s lips were barely audible. She inhaled deeply, letting the fresh tears that pushed their way past her eyelids fall down her face. “I love you.”

Eddie's heart skipped a few beats, he wasn’t expecting her to say that at all, but he couldn��t deny his own feelings. He loved the way he feels like they’ve known each other forever even though it’s only been a month. Time was moving faster than he thought.

“Edeth, I love you too, and I have so much more to say, but I’ll save it for now.” He kissed her on the forehead one more time, squeezed her hand, and left the room.

Edeth got dressed in the clothes Jessica brought her, she turned to look at herself in the mirror; a pleasant smirk stretched onto her lips as she gave herself a once over. “Aw, you know me so well Jess.”

She headed down the stairs, and followed the sound of hushed talking into the dinning room. Stopping in her tracks at the unrecognizable men sitting between Anne, and Jessica. Edeth looked to Eddie, who had his eyes concentrated on Jessica. Unlike before, the look on her face is one of anger, yet she wasn’t yelling or breaking things. To Edeth’s surprise, her best friend is restraining herself, or at least trying to. She caught the way Jessica’s hands gripped the wooden table, “What the hell is going on?” Edeth spoke up, her arms folded, she tapped her foot impatiently.

“Edeth, this is my husband Dan.” The man to the right of Anne waved his hand, he offered her a warm, welcoming smile to which Edeth nodded in response.

“And this gentleman—

“Erik Lehnsherr, at your service.”

[do-what-the-knight-tells-you]

I really love the rest of the Pullman quote though, too, particularly because it's an example of soul mates that are made, rather than simply are by chance.

Spoilers, I guess, for The Amber Spyglass, though I have cut their names.

These are two characters who, after years of buildup, have only just found this in each other... And then immediately realize they're going to have to part once the sun comes up... And it's not fair! It's so desperately unfair that they should do all this work and come all this way, only to find this at the last moment and then know that they have to lose it. That they can never really have it, the way that other people can, this thing that is so small in the face of universes, but would be so big to them:

.

"Oh..." She said, "What can we do? Whatever can we do? I want to live with you forever. I want to kiss you and lie down with you and wake up with you every day of my life till I die, years and years and years away. I don't want a memory, just a memory..."

"No," he said. "Memory's a poor thing to have. It's your own real hair and mouth and arms and eyes and hands I want. I didn't know I could ever love anything so much. Oh... I wish this night would never end! If only we could stay here like this, and the world could stop turning, and everyone else could fall into a sleep..."

"Everyone except us! And you and I could live here forever and just love each other."

"I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I'll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again..."

"I'll be looking for you... every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we'll cling together so tight that nothing and no one'll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you...We'll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams...And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won't just be able to take one, they'll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we'll be joined so tight..."

They lay side by side, hand in hand, looking at the sky.

on soulmates

f. scott fitzgerald / friedrich nietzsche / florence and the machine / andrea dworkin / kiersten white / euripides / audre lorde / phillip pullmann / bob hicok

[tragedy-of-commons]

moments like these

various hsr x gn!reader | wc: ~1.2k

Snippets of vulnerability.

tags/warnings: some angsty parts (march, jing yuan) but it's overall very fluffy, hurt/comfort (march, jing yuan), pining and mush, all rushed but made with love

notes: hi, just wanted to write something, so this isn't exactly polished. had the itch! ft. dr. ratio, march 7th, & jing yuan.

Veritas Ratio, for all of his genius, has no idea what to do.

You've taken the liberty of using his shoulder as your... pillow. As uncomfortable as it must be, you're dozing soundly, the quiet of your office enveloping the both of you in something strangely intimate. Despite his own feelings on your poor decisions, you're still your own person - meaning that you're going to sleep there until he does something about it.

The problem lies therein: he does not want you to get up just yet. Your various projects, which are sprawled out in disarray on your desk, benefit in no way from your exhaustion. The reason he's even here is because you are incapable of taking care of yourself. Your tenacity would be admirable if you could rest without him coming up here to lecture you like he would a pupil on the importance of self-care, and--

...and he has grown quite fond of you. The sofa he'd persuaded you to rest your eyes on is also unfit for a night of sleep, but he took what he could get. Occupied with nothing but a journal in his hand, you just drifted off right then. He is not as unhappy with the situation as he should be. You are no genius, but you are devoid of idiocy. This middle ground is proving troublesome for his own mental health, if your rigorous teasing is anything to go by. 

Veritas Ratio is burdened by the weight of noble pursuits. He wishes not to abandon them.

...so he shall not abandon you alone to nap in your office during these early hours. You, in most ways, are certainly a noble pursuit. It only makes sense that he should continue to uphold this tradition as it stands until it becomes a real issue.

He sighs, searching your peaceful visage for any signs of discomfort. Veritas will remain here until you wake.

"Sometimes I wish I had my memories back," March 7th tells you, voice a sweet whisper. It tickles a hair's breadth away from the shell of your ear, sending a pleasant hum down the trail of your spine. The Astral Express, for once, is ostensibly quiet. Even Mr. Yang and Himeko have to sleep, but there is a reason you haven't slipped into dreamland yourself - there is a conversation to be had between you and your special friend, apparently. "I wonder who I was before."

Your arms, carefully wrapped around her waist, unravel and shrink back to your own sides - you need to sit up for this one. The mattress creaks with your efforts until you are propped up against her headboard. You want to see her face, but she's keen on facing the wall. March 7th almost looks abashed to be so honest, earning a frown from you.

"Hey, look at me," you coax. She complies, turning on her side in her silk pajamas to meet your eye. Through the darkness, her dual-toned gaze is a bit watery, illuminated by the glowing panels of miscellaneous widgets and photographs on her wall. "Uh... If I were in your position, I'd be wondering the same thing too. I know it's gotta be difficult - being separated from your past, I mean."

You... don't know if that was the right thing to say; you've always been bad at comforting others (and she has definitely noticed). Sometimes, during moments like these, when you're giving all that you are able, March will share her burdens as well. You wish nothing more than to assuage her worries. At least you can take pride in the fact that she hasn't started bawling since you opened your mouth.

"It is," she yawns. "I get these nightmares sometimes. Nightmares that I was a horrible person before, and I hurt a lot of people, but having no way of knowing it." She also sits up just enough to rest her head on your chest. The thumping of your heart could produce enough mechanical energy to power a small planetary settlement, you're sure. 

No matter. "Even if you did, the journey you've been on... you're a whole new person now. Like how stars die and become different stars after." You pause after you say it, chest tightening, "Wait, that's not to say your past self has died or anything--"

Suddenly, March 7th's beautiful laugh graces you. Like everything about her, it's sweet and charming and something you'll have to cherish in secret. You feel the pressure of her head lighten as she looks up, not so sad anymore. "Was that your attempt at poetry? You're really trying your best, huh?"

Your cheeks burn hotly. "Yes. Yes, I am."

She wipes her face on her sleeve, looking at you as if you've sewn all the stars in all the infinite skies.

"...then I'm glad that you are apart of my journey."

Some things never change.

This may seem like an ignorant sentiment echoed by the young and naïve, however Jing Yuan is anything but. Time is ephemeral, yes, but within these finite moments, there is room for rigidity; there is room for a basis to fall back on. There is room for you.

You take up so much of his heart that there is little space left for pride or secrecy. You know every contour and groove of his skin by heart - every birthmark and faded scar. This power that would be weaponized by anyone else is held sacred in the safety of your palms. If anything, he wishes to be done in by the likes of you. After all, his end is inching its way towards his doorstep, and he needs to be prepared. Preparation is one of his strong suits as Arbiter General, languid as he seems.

Are you prepared? He dares not ask you upfront, even if it's cowardly. You are not a game of chess to be won, so confrontation seems... iffy. You are knowledgeable and beautiful and everything he could ever want. You know that he cannot live forever, yet something in your gaze always begs him to stay just a bit longer. Just as you know everything about him, there is not a corner of your heart you haven't turned over to him (or so he likes to think), which means the expression on your face right now is child's play to decipher: grief.

You are in mourning already, and he isn't even gone yet. Aeons, he loves you.

"Jing Yuan?" you ask, arms wrapped about his neck like a vice.

He hums. "Yes, dear?"

"Do you believe in fate?" 

The question isn't what he was expecting, which is a bit odd. He takes a moment to ponder your question before allowing himself to lazily smile. What's even more beguiling is that you already undoubtedly know his answer. "To an extent, I see no harm in doing so."

Something in you shifts, the melancholy dulling until what's left is a ray of sunshine peeking through a dense cloud. Yes, it's everything he needs.

"Then let the red strings do the worrying. You're going to get wrinkles," you chuckle, caressing his cheek tenderly.

...ah. You are not grieving. You are simply fretting over him, miracle that you are.

"Well, we can't have that, can we? Come now, there's something I wish to speak with you about..."

[comandrlexa]

Clexa + The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman

What can we do? Whatever can we do? I want to live with you forever. I want to kiss you and lie down with you and wake up with you every day of my life till I die, years and years and years away. I don't want a memory, just a memory

[professorspork]

Floating Array Anon here! Those are all really good points! And I'll concede that "weapon" was probably not the best term to use. I just think there's a really interesting debate to be had about the moral implications of creating (or raising) a sentient being for a specific purpose, especially if that purpose involves violence and death. There's a conversation somewhere in there between Penny and Pietro that I really want to see, since Pietro might blame himself in a way for his daughter's fate.

Oh, absolutely! [And here’s that Floating Array post, for those of you just tuning in.]

Part of what’s interesting here is that the show has encouraged us not to think of Pietro that way, because Ironwood is right there. I was going to make a “Penny has two dads” joke about it, but the crux of it, really, is that she doesn’t. She has one boss, and one dad. Whereas Ironwood consistently talks about her like a tool to be used (“Penny is completely under my control”) or a robot as unfeeling as he is (“If there is no Mantle then there is no reason for you not to work with me”), Pietro unequivocally thinks of her as his daughter. That’s what he tells the kids-- “my daughter’s told me so much about you.” Obviously the big crowning moment of this is in Amity, when he straight up says he does not care about saving the world, he doesn’t want her in danger. He wants her to live her life. But that wasn’t an eleventh hour first-time admission. He’s been consistent about this as long as we’ve known him. I’m thinking about his conversation with Ruby in Worst Case Scenario as a sort of prime example. He frets over “what people want to do to my girl,” and then explains:

Pietro: When the General first challenged us to find the next breakthrough in defense technology, most of my colleagues pursued more obvious choices. I was one of the few who believed in looking inward for inspiration. Ruby: You wanted a protector with a soul. Pietro: I did. And when General Ironwood saw her, he did too. 

Every time Pietro talks about Penny in terms of what she can do, her purpose... it’s voiced through other people. The General wanted defense technology. Ruby’s the one who calls her a protector; he just agrees. 

The moral quandary Pietro needs to reckon with isn’t that he made a weapon and called it a girl (see: Rhodes and Cinder), or that he raised a girl and called her a weapon (see: Marcus and Mercury Black). It’s that he was asked to make a weapon, and instead he raised a girl, and now he buries his head in the sand and despairs when she and everyone around her still talks about her in terms of violence and utility. Penny believes she’s not a weapon, most of the time, but she’s a little shakier about what she is, instead. And no wonder, because Pietro’s been dodging the question since day one. He delivered the opposite of what was asked for and then let himself pretend that’s not what happened. Ironwood asked for a thing-- a thing that would stand between Atlas and the darkness, a thing that could protect people... ostensibly so PEOPLE wouldn’t have to get hurt. But Ironwood isn’t squeamish about this because of human cost, he’s intent on it because of efficiency. What’s better, squishy soldiers or an army of combat drones? A dozen tiny Huntsman or one fuckoff giant mecha? Of course he greenlit the Penny Project; it’s all the benefits of a human combatant-- the improvisation, the discernment, the ability to prioritize-- with, as far as he’s concerned, none of the risks. There’s no death for a thing that can be rebuilt, and no pesky feelings to deal with. As far as he knows.

But the problem is Pietro made a person instead, and loved her. But everyone else still needed and expected her to be something else, because that’s what was commissioned. And I don’t know that Pietro knows how to process his own hand in that, and how poorly it went, without framing it as regret for making her, which he absolutely doesn’t. So what would coming to terms with that look like, instead? If Pietro were to blame himself, he’d say something like “I never should have let them use her like that.” But she was made to be used-- he would never have had a Penny to lose in the first place if he hadn’t agreed to make a military asset. There is no scenario where he could have woken up one day and made himself a daughter; he’d never have gotten the funding or materials. He must learn to accept the chicken with the egg. How does he square his complacency with the Atlas war machine with his pride in what he did in spite of it? How does he make amends to someone he doomed by making, when she became so much? I don’t know. That’s not an easy question to answer. Ozpin’s had thousands of years to dwell on it and he still hasn’t figured it out.

Because the thing is, Pietro’s waffling over her purpose got Penny’s sense of identity caught in the middle. She’s getting mixed messages. So many of her most important conversations are about her struggling to figure out if her experience is universal or only her burden to bear. Ruby (and to some extent, Winter) must reassure her over and over: no, that’s normal, everyone feels like that, your emotions are relatable and also valid. She feels so much guilt-- for not being optimal, or for not following orders. She wasn’t able to single-handedly keep the Grimm out of Mantle and therefore ensure everything else could go as planned; she wasn’t able to save Fria; she stole Winter’s destiny from her. If she were what they made her to be, surely she wouldn’t have failed, right? It’s why it’s heartbreaking when she pulls Ruby aside in Refuge:

“I was the protector of Mantle, but now, I am much more than that... and I wish I was not.”

But the thing is, if they bring her back-- and this is one of the many reasons I believe they have to-- she won’t be.

Finally.

This has been the goal all along. Ruby outwitted Ambrosius because she was desperate to get Penny out from under the burden of her terrible purpose-- to do what she’s ordered to, to be at the beck and call of those who outrank her, or die trying. And then Penny went and sacrificed herself anyway, which: of course she did. Because she was taught it was all she was good for, if you want to be mean about it, or-- or because she thought it was the right thing to do, if you’re forgiving. It’s the same thing any of her friends would do, if they were in her shoes. I’m giving you a head start. That’s what love looks like; it’s the choice heroes make. Isn’t it?

But to get at the root of the problem, we have to rewind back further. Penny was reactivated the first time not because Pietro wanted her to be (though surely he did), but because she had a job to do. The contract wasn’t finished; Ironwood wasn’t going to give up on his fancy new toy just because it fell apart. But now? There’s no more Mantle to protect. Atlas has fallen. And beyond that-- her friends don’t need her to be the Maiden, either. That’s a mutable title, and one that has passed her by; they still have one, even with her gone.

So this next time around... she’ll have the chance to process why she made the decisions she did, and to move past it, because she’ll know how much she’s worth to them. Not the Penny Project, not the Winter Maiden, but Penny Polendina.

Which is to say: they don’t need her, they just want her. 

They want her. 

[diamond-coral]

Bargaining Chip

Hello! This is my first time posting on Tumblr ever:) I pulled this one-shot from a fic I posted on AO3 a few months ago but the plot is irrelavent and I changed it from first person to second as well as some details so it can be read as a stand alone. There’s some plot from the actual story but you really don’t need to know it at all.

There might be a few errors, especially because I changed the entire point of view and converted it to present tense from past tense so sorry:) 

Loki manages to get his hands on you and exchanges you and your body for his ticket to independence from the Avengers. Bucky gets to go first.

Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Characters included: Loki, and a little bit of Tony, Steve, and Thor

WARNINGS: 18+ ONLY!!! SMUT (NON-CON TOUCHING, FORCED ORAL SEX (m receiving), KNIFE THREATS, DARK! AVENGERS, BUCKY’S AN ASSHOLE IN THIS, DEGRADATION, BASICALLY FORCED PROSTITUTION) READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

You awake in the passenger seat of your own car with only foggy memories of you and your partner before everything had gone dark. Your mission from the CIA...breaking and entering the motherfucking Avenger’s facility and managing to escape...you were so close. If it weren’t for him. In your haze, you look to see who could possibly have the audacity to be driving your car, and there sits Loki, the God of Mischief, who you had only scene on the news, driving one hand and inspecting something in his other.

“Good evening my lady. Sleep well?” he mocks without taking his eyes off the item in his hand which upon further inspection from you looks to be... a red leash?

What the hell?

“I do hope you like your outfit,” he continues. “I think I assembled quite the get up for you.”

Looking down, you let out a muffled scream that was cut off by a strip of duct tape. Your hands are bound in your lap, but that isn’t what horrifies you. It’s what’s underneath them. You take into account your bare legs, fully on display, with a black dress leaving little to the imagination. The top half is just as horrifying with it’s plunging neckline. Your legs end with a pair of strappy gold heels that ensures any chances of running away to be futile while your upper arms are adorned in golden bracelets accented with emeralds. Whether the emeralds were real or fake, you could care less. You have bigger problems to worry about.

“What the fuck?!”

Is what you try to say, but the gag only makes it come out as a mangled ball of muffled murmurs. Though the chuckle Loki lets out implies he understands your enraged speaking attempt.

“You, my dear, are going to be a bargaining chip. I heard about your little escapade at the Avenger’s facility last night. Impressive, I must say, but my brother and his little hero posse had been looking for you relentlessly after that. They are practically obsessed with catching the women that managed to break into their high security building.”

Loki takes a sharp turn into a parking garage, narrowly missing the wall. You squeal as your precious car runs over the curb.

“I forgot how much I hate mortal transportation devices. But Stark had to build this tower in the middle of New York to feed his ever-growing ego and now I’m the one that has to rely on a car to get me there,” he grumbles while pulling into a parking space. He takes a deep breath once the car is parked. “Now, I’m going to remove that gag out of your mouth, and if you scream, I will peel your skin off of your body in the slowest, most painful way imaginable. Understood?”

You nod frantically and he rips the tape off, extracting a whimper from your now stinging mouth. You open your mouth for him to take the wad of cloth out that was under the duct tape. As he extracts it, you snap your mouth shut in an attempt to bite him, but he’s quick to evade and grabs your jaw harshly.

“What did I say before?” he seethes. 

“You said not to scream. I didn’t scream. Now let go of my face.”

Loki roughly throughs your face to the side, letting go, and looks around the surroundings of the car, probably checking for any unwanted onlookers.

“Out of the car. Now,” he orders and you hastily oblige using your bound hands to open the door.

As you shut the door, you catch a glimpse of your own reflection and grimace. You look like a hooker. Aside from the skimpy outfit, your hair was pinned up and intertwined with gold strands. Your makeup is done as well. Sultry eye shadow and dark red lipstick.

“I didn’t know the God of Mischief was a makeup guru,” you jab.

He ignores you and harshly pushes you forward. “Walk.”

“Where’s my partner?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Loki replies. “She has other uses than the one I currently need you for.”

“And what use am I needed for?”

“I already told you. By the gods, you mortals are stupid. You are to be a bargaining chip, (Y/N).”

Your blood runs cold. “How do you know my name?” you ask.

“I know everything about you. Including your peculiar abilities.”

You stop dead in your tracks.

“Now, don’t worry,” he adds. “As amusing to me as it would be, I have no interest in enlightening the Avengers to your secret identity. As far as they will know, I am simply giving them the criminal that broke into their compound.”

“And what’s in it for you?” you ask as he guidesyou into an elevator.

After pushing a button, he goes to fix his dark green tie. “Clever girl now aren’t you?”

“Answer the question.”

“How about-no?” he muses and a soft ding resonates through the elevator.

The doors opened and, for a moment, you forget the predicament your in. Inside was the most beautiful penthouse you had ever seen. The opposite wall was made entirely out of glass allowing a view of the New York City night skyline. Everything little piece of furniture each looks as expensive as your car, but your focus becomes drawn to the minibar. The Avengers were all sitting there, laughing, and most were obviously drunk.

“Here James, try some of this,” Thor booms.

Bucky makes a face. “Why would I drink something from another planet meant for Gods?”

“Jeez Buck it’s the only thing that can get you and I drunk,” Steve slurs and claps Bucky on the shoulder. “It’s your birthday. Live it up a little.”

Bucky hesitates before grabbing the flask Thor offers him and throwing his head back, downing the flask in one go.

Loki seems to have enough of the party scene as he clears his throat to interrupt them.

“Gentlemen-”

Before Loki uttered another word all the Avengers clambered from their seats to grab their weapons, but their intoxicated state just makes it a comical sight. Captain America falls over in an attempt to reach for his shield below the table. Tony Stark’s iron man mask smacks him over the head as he fails to turn in time to catch it on his face. Sam Wilson chokes on his drink and falls backwards off his barstool in shock.

“I come bearing no ill tidings.” Loki spread his arms.

“Then why bother coming at all?” Thor growls, shifting his hammer to his right hand.

“I’ve come to make an offer.”

With that, Loki snatches your wrist and throws you towards him and the other men. You stumbled in you stilettos and let out a yelp as you land on the floor looking up at the 5 present Avengers: Thor, the Winter Soldier, Captain America, Iron Man, and the Falcon. They all look down on you with perplexed looks etched onto their faces.

“You guys have been so caught up and stressed about finding your security breaches that I was generous enough to do some finding myself,” Loki explains.

“And how do we know you didn’t just pluck some prostitute off the street?” Caps eyes rake up and down your body.

Loki scoffs. “Always the skeptic captain. Does this answer your question?” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a flash-drive.

Tony snatches it from his hands. “Jarvis, what’s on this drive?” he asks, holding the drive up to a scanner in the glasses he’s wearing.

“It appears to be the files you have been collecting the 2 vigilantes you have been tracking and-.”

“Okay thanks J!” Tony interrupts quickly before Jarvis could spill any more information. He proceeds to storm up to your cowering and kneeling form that hadn’t dared move and harshly grabs your jaw.

Jesus, what was with these men and your poor, bruised jaw?

“Why would you possibly need this information?” he asks calmly, but his eyes are feral. He studies you and his brows furrow. Did he manage to piece it all together that you were the alleged vigilante they had been hunting? He lets go of your jaw and throws you back on the floor. “What business do you have looking for them?”

Looking for them? You let out a sigh of relief.

“None of your business,” you spit.

“Anyways,” Loki continues, and the drive suddenly disintegrated in Tony’s hand while reappearing in Loki’s. “I will happily hand over this seemingly important information along with the girl for you to do with her as you please, but…” He pauses. “Only if you stop tracking my current whereabouts.”

“And why would we do that, Loki? You’re dangerous,” Steve notes.

“I was dangerous,” Loki interjects. “I have been a good boy haven’t I? I would like to lead a normal life without you imbeciles tailing my every move. If I slip, Thor here will know within the second if I’m involved with anyone wrong doings, won’t you brother dear?”

Thor grunts at that statement.

“Besides, Stark’s satellite can track any magical energy if I use it. Which I won’t.”

“Fine. Now hand over the drive,” Tony snaps and holds his hand out.

After Loki drops the small gadget into Tony’s hand, he hauls you up and spins you around to face him.

His voice is quiet and low. “Be glad I didn’t tell them about my plans for you friend. It would be a shame if they found out about her abilities...and yours.”

He spins you back around to face the 5 men whose eyes were now raking up and down your body. “Easy on the eyes isn’t she?” Loki mentions, hands falling on your waist making you squirm. “You know, I almost considered keeping her for myself. Her exotic beauty is that of a pleasure maiden on Asgard.” Your struggles are invigorated at his implications. “Enjoy your whore.” And with that, he gives you one final shove before vanishing.

It’s silent for half a minute before one of the men speak up.

“Alright who wants to take her for a spin?” Tony asks, clapping his hands together. “I vote the birthday boy gets first dibs. Huh, Buckaroo?”

You blanch at the idea. Were they really going to go through with what Loki wanted? What happened to the valiant heroes you saw on your screen?

“Wait Tony, you can’t be seriously considering Loki’s suggestion?” Sam Wilson sounds surprised.

Tony shrugs. “Why not, Birdie? It’s either this or high security prison and I don’t think she wants to rot in a cell.”

“She is standing right here and would rather rot in hell than do what Loki had in mind,” you hiss.

“Well it’s a good thing we weren’t asking for her opinion,” Tony says.

“Tony’s right, Sam,” Steve adds slowly. “We bust our asses out there. We deserve something nice.”

“Day after day we save this pathetic world, and no thanks are given. Just everyone saying what we did wrong. We should’ve left the world to fend for itself after they tried shoving those ridiculous accords down our throats,” Thor murmurs

Sam raises both of his hands up in defense. “Fine. Do what you want with her. I’m gonna head out.” And with that he leaves. Your heart sinks, watching the only glimmer of hope, your knight in shining armor, walk out the door. Your self-pity party is cut short by an arm snaking around your waist.

Bucky Barnes, trained assassin, mass murderer, and now current Avenger, puts his face in the crook of your neck and inhales deeply, sending shivers down your spine while you stand frozen like a deer in headlights. “What do you say, doll? Wanna finish what we started the other night?” His hand on your waist slowly drifts down to your ass.

You stomp your heel down on his foot eliciting a groan of pain. “Last time I checked, you were in the dirt, and I was driving away that night after a successful robbery. There’s nothing to finish.”

He moves quickly as he rips your hair out of what’s securing it up, using the opportunity to tangle his hand into the roots and drag you away to a separate room. He wrenches open and throws you in, leaving you to stumble and trip. A searing pain on your forehead signaled that you hit your head.

“How about we use that snarky mouth of yours for something better hmm?” His voice is ice cold with malice as he grips your hair and yanks you up.

You cry out in pain, tears pooling in your eyes.

“Not so tough now, are you?” he sneers down at you. Hearing the sound of a belt unbuckling and pants unzipping, you shut your eyes.

A tear escapes, cascading down your face, but his thumb gently wipes it away.

“Open your eyes, doll,” he coos.

You shake your head and screw them shut even tighter.

“I said...OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!” he roars and your eyes fly open only to see his member sticking out of his slacks right in front of your face. He’s almost fully hard as precum dribbles out of the tip. “Good girl,” he praises. “Now, since you can’t seem to keep your snarky mouth shut, let’s put it to better use. How bout that?”

You don’t move, and he sighed as you look down to the floor. You hear some shuffling, a small click, and suddenly something cold and sharp is pressing under your chin, tilting your gaze to his steel blue eyes.

“Let’s try this again.” He pushes the knife harder, digging it a little deeper, but not enough to draw blood. A knife. This dirty bastard has a knife. “Suck. My. Cock.”

Pushing all your pride aside, you direct your gaze to the task in front of you. Bucky lets out an approving hum and the knife is removed from your throat. You swallow before opening your mouth and dragging your tongue from his base to the tip before wrapping your lips around him and sucking lightly.

Bucky was no slacker down there, you had to give him that. You ease your mouth down his shaft and his head tilts back.

“Oh fuck that’s it,” he moans. “Take my dick down your throat.” He grunts. His metal hand fists your hair to push your head down, sliding a few more inches into your throat. “Oh-that’s a good whore,” he breathes.

A gag is torn from you and you slap your hands against his thighs to imply you couldn’t take much more. Bucky’s only response is another grunt as he jams the rest of his length down your throat leaving your only intake of oxygen to come from your nose which was now mashed right above the base of his thick cock. As quickly as he pushed you down before, he pulls you back off by your hair, letting you go to wretch, gasping for air and freedom. A strand of saliva still connects from his tip to my lips.

“I’m not done with you yet.” He snags your hair again. “Open wide, slut.”

You do just that and he begins to fuck your throat at his own pace, sliding his entire length down every time. Tears brim at your eyes, not just from the lack of oxygen, but the humiliation of the moment as well. The time passes much too slowly for your liking, minutes dragging on for eternity, before he begins to reach his climax.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” His cock twitches in your mouth.He holds your head with both hands as he releases straight into your mouth, warm thick strands of his release coating the back of your throat. He pulls out  with a pop and smirks down at you. “Good little sluts swallow” he orders.

You glare up at him, making a show of not doing anything.

“Well?” he demands and raises a dark brow.

You spit his own climax onto his expensive shoes.

“Why you-!” He raises his hand, getting ready to send a smack to your face.

“Barnes!” A female voice comes from the doorway as the door flies open. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

There stood none other than the Black Widow.

[mypoisonedvine]

Reader and Steve end up exposed to something on a mission that cause them to body swap. It would be hot as hell if one of them was seeing Bucky too and he decides to have fun with their misfortune.

(okay so this is kind of a crack fic so im sorry in advance asgjakhsagdj this is the WEIRDEST SMUT I’VE EVER WRITTEN... very nsfw and a slight touch of dubcon beneath the cut.)

you’d only been in Steve’s body for a few hours when you began to understand how deprived this man was.

you hadn’t gotten his memories.  you didn’t really understand how this had happened at all but you knew that for sure, because you distinctly recalled being you yesterday and now you were him.  and he was fucking horny.

maybe it was you, a little bit, but this was definitely his body acting of its own accord more than it was your mind inside of it.  it felt different in a guy’s body, for one.  it felt so different to have need like this, so much more all-encompassing than the subtle tingling in your gut that you normally felt when you were turned on.  damn, is this what it was always like for men?  you weren’t sure how they ever managed to get any work done.  maybe they don’t.

my cock is hard, you thought to yourself, trying to wrap your head around the concept.  you tried not to look down at it as you leaned back in your chair-- his chair, actually-- but you could feel it, not just the arousal coursing through it but the head curving back and digging into your hip.  

I can’t touch it, you decided, it would be invasive.  he’s not here to consent to me touching his body.  and you firmly believed that logic, and yet you felt your hand-- his hand-- reaching into the waistband of his uniform and pulling it out.  you whimpered just to feel warmth on it, though the sound was foreign to your ears as you realized you had his voice.

you had never been good at handjobs, but it was like instinct was guiding you as you stroked the cock you found in your palm.  his hands were sort of rough, something you normally liked but was not well-received in this body.  but it was enough-- it was just enough to satisfy this desperation that burned in your chest.  you could tell it had been so long since this cock had gotten attention from anything but this hand, you could feel how much he needed more but you, as his friend, understood why he didn’t get it.  he always told you he was too busy for dating.  frankly, if you got to this point, you wouldn’t really be worried about “dating” so much as “hooking up” but he was, understandably, not the type.

your head fell back as you bucked up into your hand, biting down on your lip-- and you’d always dreamed of tasting his lips, just not like this.  “fuck,” you hissed, the sound of his voice mundane to his body but driving your mind wild inside his stupidly beautiful head.  there was an urge to moan your own name, just to know how it would sound if he said it like this, but the idea was too weird for you go through with it.

then again, you were stuck in Steve’s body and jerking off so, ‘too weird’ was kind of a moot point.

you were jolted out of your rhythm when there was a knock at your-- his-- door.

“wh-who is it?” you stammered.

“it’s me!” you heard from the other side of the door. “or, well, it’s you!”

“shit,” you mumbled as you rushed to redress, running to the door-- you were so much faster in this body, unsurprisingly.  you weren’t really psychologically prepared to open the door and see yourself there.  you weren’t ready to be pierced by your own gaze, your own arms crossed in confusion.

“do you always get wet when you look at me?” Steve asked you suddenly.  “or is this just me... knowing it’s you?”

you swallowed, feeling an Adam’s apple bob in your neck-- what an odd sensation.

“does my voice always sound like that?” you asked when you heard his words from your mouth.

“we need to fix this before Bucky finds me again,” he demanded, “I barely managed to toss him off me.”

“... so I guess you found out about us too?” you winced, your secret fuckbuddies relationship now out in the open.

“more than I ever wanted to know,” he frowned.  his expression shifted as he looked up at you again.  “what were you doing?”

“what?” you asked, and you heard your own breathlessness.  “I wasn’t doing anything.  you always breathe like this.  don’t you have asthma?”

“I used to have asthma,” he corrected.

“yes, and now you have a vagina-- my vagina!-- so maybe we should focus on that and not you giving me this random third degree here?”

“whatever,” he scoffed, brushing past you to step into the room as you shut the door.  

“you didn’t... look, did you?” you asked nervously.

“uh, no,” he answered quickly, “did you?”

“I made a specific point not to,” you announced proudly.

“oh...” he mumbled, “good...”

“sooooo...” you changed the subject awkwardly, “any plans on how to fix this?”

“I was thinking we’ll start by trying everything we can think of, and work from there,” he offered.

“good plan,” you decided.  “maybe.... maybe, uh... we have to... go... somewhere?  or do something?”

“go somewhere and do something?” steve repeated incredulously. “you’re a real genius.”

“don’t make that face at me, you’re gonna give me frown lines,” you sneered.  “I can’t help it, okay?  I can’t think!  I’m distracted!”

“by what?”

“by... by stuff!” you defended, scratching the back of your neck-- it was your nervous habit, rendered entirely different by his short hair.

steve sighed, your chest rising and falling with his breath.  “it’s hard, isn’t it?”

“well, yeah, switching bodies is hard--”

“no.  it’s hard... isn’t it?”

your eyes went a little wide.  “ohhh. uh, yeah, it is.”

“god, I’m sorry,” he groaned, hiding your face in your hands, “it does that a lot.”

“how do you do anything?” you squawked.  “it’s like all I can think about is... is how bad I just need to be in something, something... warm!”

“welcome to my world,” he shrugged.

“you have to let me...” you began, but stopped yourself.  “no, no, we-- no.”

“what is it?” he asked.

“you have to let me fuck you.  me.  you have to let... you fuck me...?”

“won’t that be, you know... scarring?” 

you nodded.  “but I’m not sure we have a choice, please just-- just let me-- I know I want it.  I mean, I know my body wants it.  didn’t you say I’m wet?  I’m probably drenched by now, huh?”

he stammered a bit before answering. “um... I think so...”

“it feels warm, right?  warm and sensitive and like you need to be filled with something?”

“...kinda...” he replied hesitantly.

“please,” you groaned, “don’t tell me I’m the only one that’s ever thought about it.”

“no,” he answered, quicker than ever, “no, you aren’t.  you’re... you’re sure it’s okay?”

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” you finally admitted, “not like this, but I’ll take what I can get--”

“fuck it,” he mumbled before pulling you into a heated kiss, and with your eyes closed you couldn’t really tell the difference of who was who anymore, you just knew that it was him touching you and you didn’t really care that his hands were smaller and that his lips were softer.

you undressed each other at lightning speed, and there was a hand on your cock-- clearly he was pulling from his own experience with his own cock, because wow, he knew exactly how to touch it to make you gasp and whimper.

“you can look,” he offered to you when he pulled back from the kiss, “I know I did.”

“did you like what you saw?” you asked hesitantly.

“better than I ever imagined,” he grinned.  “I even put a finger inside you.  I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I’m gonna fit.”

“neither am I,” you sighed as you looked down at the thick member your own slender hand was wrapped around.  “fuck, steve... it’ll probably hurt you.”

“let’s just hope we can fix this tonight and you get to be sore tomorrow, not me,” he chuckled a little.

“k-keep stroking it, please,” you sighed, “I’m already-- I think I’m close.  I can’t really tell...”

“you should be able to feel it here,” he explained as he slipped his touch lower to cup your balls--

“oh,” you breathed, “this is... new...”

“oh please, it’s nothing compared to a clit,” he laughed, “that thing is sensitive.”

you realized that steve was taking much better advantage of this than you were-- while you had his body at your disposal, you needed to test out the superhuman strength.  it took you almost nothing to lift your own weight onto the desk, grinning as you saw him gasp at the show of strength.

“been a while since somebody lifted you?” you asked him with a smirk.  he didn’t reply, just spread his-- your-- legs and let you grind against him, just the warmth of a body enough for now even if you weren’t inside of it.  you kissed him again as you pulled him closer, thrusting to let that poor, sensitive cock slide over the delicate skin beneath you.

“well, well, well,” a voice echoed from the doorway.  you sat up and spun around to find Bucky, leaning around the wall with crossed arms and a satisfied smirk.  “it was just a matter of time before you two got together-- we all knew it.  no wonder you ran off so fast, babygirl... you had another engagement to attend to.”

“Buck, hold on--” Steve began.

“Bucky, this is not what it looks like,” you interrupted.

“then what is it?” Bucky asked with faux innocence.

you and Steve looked at each other, neither of you sure exactly how to answer that.  “it’s complicated,” you answered in unison.

“don’t worry about me, I’m not jealous,” he explained.  “we never said we were exclusive, no hard feelings,” he addressed Steve-- but he was talking to you.  well, he was trying to talk to you, but he didn’t know he was looking at Steve.  well, he was looking at you, but just your body-- oh fuck it, even you couldn’t make sense of it. “but Steve?” he chuckled. “he doesn’t even know what he’s doing.  he can’t make you feel as good as I can, I know it.”

he was like a blur as he pounced on you-- your body, at least, but it was Steve that was arching his back and moaning as Bucky licked and sucked at your neck, slipped his metal hand into your shorts and apparently found your most sensitive spots instantly.  Steve was already bucking up into his touch, your own moans echoing over the walls even if you weren’t the one making them.

“B-Buck, wait,” Steve protested, but he was too weak now to push him off, and too far gone into the pleasure to want to.

“feels good, hm?” Bucky purred, throwing a stray glance at you.  “are you jealous?” he asked you tauntingly.

“yes,” you admitted.

“jealous cause you know how good it feels when I make you come like this?” he pressed, and you froze.  

“do... do I?” you asked Steve anxiously.

“don’t look at him, look at me,” Bucky corrected firmly.  him? you wondered, but before you could ask, he answered your question, turning to address Steve pinned under him.  “I know it’s you, Steve.”

“what?!” you both gaped.

“she would never call me ‘pal’ like you did earlier,” Buck explained, “and she would never say no to me like you also did earlier.”

“hey!” you protested.

“and you,” he laughed, “I’d know that deer-in-the-headlights look anywhere, even on a different face.”

as embarrassing as this whole situation was, it was sort of nice to have someone else acknowledge it.  it made you feel less crazy.

“I can’t keep track of this conversation while there are fingers inside of me,” Steve shivered.

“it’s weird, isn’t it?” you smiled at him.  “good weird.”

“very good, very weird,” he agreed, breathing heavier as Bucky’s arm flexed from pumping his hand back and forth.

“she usually comes in just a few minutes from this,” Bucky explained to Steve, making you feel oddly exposed-- and not just because you knew they could both see the achingly-hard cock threatening to burst from the hastily-zipped pants.  “I know it’s you in there, but it’s still her body... so it should still be the same, right?”

“I-I’m close,” Steve replied, making Bucky laugh.

“oh, you’re even faster, damn.  go ahead and come for me-- don’t you wanna hear how she sounds when she comes?”

“yes.”

“don’t you wanna see that pussy cream all over my fingers?” 

“yes.”

“then beg me not to stop,” Bucky demanded, and instinct took over.

“please don’t stop,” you found yourself saying before Steve could answer, making them both turn to you.

“I’ve got you so well-trained,” Bucky grinned before looking back down at Steve beneath him.  “just like that, doll,” he repeated his instruction.

“don’t call me ‘doll,’” Steve barely managed to protest between loud moans.

“okay,” Bucky relented, “beg for me just like that, Stevie.”

“please!” Steve shouted instantly.  “please... please don’t stop.”

“one more time?”

“damn it, Buck, don’t stop!” he sobbed, and you wondered if you always looked like that when you came or if it was Steve’s expression painted on your own features.  Bucky, as always, wasn’t content with just one, and Steve’s eyes shot wide open as he realized that this could just keep going, over and over.  

“you’re-- you’re really not gonna stop,” Steve gasped.

“he’s mean like that,” you explained with a little smirk.  you were looking forward to getting back in your own body just for the multiple orgasms alone.

“how’s it feel, Stevie?” Bucky asked proudly.

“s-so good,” he answered dutifully, “so good it almost hurts.  fuck it hurts... but I want more, I wanna come again.”

“mm, so greedy,” Bucky praised.  “just one more, then we need to give our lonely friend some love... I bet she’s ready to make a mess in your pants just from watching me finger you--” he turned to you suddenly-- “isn’t that right?”

“yes,” you answered quickly.  “p-please, Bucky, I feel so... I need you.”

“I know, babygirl, it won’t be much longer,” he promised, “I can feel your cunt clenching on me already-- come on over here and feel for yourself.”

you hesitantly stepped closer, hissing a little as Bucky’s free hand grabbed your wrist and pulled your hand closer.  “see?  just put your finger in beside mine, I want you to know how tight you get when I make you come.”

you took a shaky breath but did as he asked, hearing Steve’s gasp as you inserted his thick finger into your slickened channel.  it definitely felt different than when you put your own fingers in yourself-- for him and for you.  it was different to feel your pussy around your finger when you couldn’t feel the finger in your pussy... if that made any sense.

“three’s too many,” Steve complained.

“and yet, here we are,” Bucky winked.

“I can’t,” Steve clarified, “it’s too big.”

“aw, she always says that but then she changes her mind... you will too,” Bucky decided.  “now just move like this,” he explained to you as you started to move with him, feeling the way your body responded instantly.  it built up so fast as you tried to keep up with Bucky’s pace, watching Steve cry out at the same time as your walls tightened around the assortment of fingers-- Steve and Bucky’s, flesh and metal-- inside you.

“you’re close,” Bucky informed both of you.  “feel the way that pretty pussy is getting so wet, holding on so tight?”

“y-yes,” you shivered, trying your best to ignore the pangs of need coursing through the cock you still struggled to acknowledge as your own.

“go ahead and come, Stevie,” Bucky encouraged, and that was all it took; Steve cried out as your whole body spasmed-- not just your body, but the body you were in.  You were coming, much to your dismay, without even being touched, ropes of hot come creating a wet patch on Steve’s uniform, and you couldn’t bit back the groans of pleasure as your gut flexed with each wave of the orgasm.

“oh, now look at that,” Bucky purred as he looked back and forth between Steve and yourself.  “you two both made a mess.”

“aw damn it, my uniform!” Steve protested as he looked at you.

“I think you need to help our girl clean up that mess,” Bucky cooed as Steve shot him a look.  “it’s been too long since you got your dick sucked... and I’ve always felt it’s your responsibility to solve your own problems.”

“I... I don’t know how,” Steve protested.

“I’ll show you,” Bucky promised as he guided Steve to kneel in front of you, helping you push down your trousers.  “just lick up some of that come first, nice and slow.”

you gasped the second you felt a warm tongue against your skin, your hands reaching out and finding a comfortable place to grip on your own hair-- and Steve moaned when you pulled on it.

“you like the taste of your own come, Stevie?” Bucky purred. “now put it in your mouth-- just the head, you might not be able to fit much else.  suck on it like a popsicle.”

you bit back a moan that wouldn’t been embarrassingly loud when you felt a warm, slick mouth wrap around where you were now much too sensitive.  

“look down, babygirl,” Bucky whispered to you.

“I-- I can’t,” you denied, “I can’t look.”

“but you look so pretty when you suck cock, doll, haven’t I told you a million times?”

you sighed but obeyed, opening your eyes and looking down at Steve looking up at you, but with your eyes, and with your lips stretch around his thick shaft.  “I... I do look pretty,” you agreed nervously.

“did you always wonder what Steve looks like when he’s getting his cock sucked?” Bucky asked you as he knelt down beside your body where Steve was using it for the moment.  “The answer is... very confused.”

“that might be unique to this situation,” Steve explained as he pulled away from you.

“keep sucking, whore, I didn’t say you could stop.”

that language made you both moan softly, but Steve obeyed.

“oh, we are going to have so much fun,” Bucky chuckled excitedly, and you already knew that you were in for a very long night.

[derangedrhythms]

do you know of any quotes about love and loss? or more specifically about a person knowing loss but still loving?

'Unsonnet: Dark Matter' by Rebecca Lindenberg

"I had love once in the palm of my hand. / See the lines there."

— John Wieners, from 'A Poem for Painters'

"I believed in love but I thought / Its name was loss."

— Gregory Orr, from ‘Concerning the Book that is the Body of the Beloved’

"To lose thee — sweeter than to gain / All other hearts I knew."

— Emily Dickinson, The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson, from ‘To lose thee sweeter than to gain'

"Each that we lose takes part of us; / A crescent still abides, / Which like the moon, some turbid night, / Is summoned by the tides."

— Emily Dickinson, from 'The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson'

"I wondered if I would be fated to live with this love, making of it a shrine which could not now be desecrated."

— Iris Murdoch, from ‘The Sea, the Sea’

"Farewell, you incomparable boy, / I have loved you in vain"

— Ted Hughes, Tales from Ovid; from ‘Echo and Narcissus’

"Where is he now, for whom I carry in my heart / This love, this praise?"

— Edna St. Vincent Millay, The Buck in the Snow; ‘For Pao-Chin, A Boatman On The Yellow Sea’

"Since I lost you I am silence-haunted,"

— D. H. Lawrence, Amores; from ‘Silence’

“I suffer greatly, for I have lost what was the whole joy of my life—the holy, enlivening power by which I brought worlds into being all around me.”

“I have so much and my feeling for her devours everything, I have so much and without her everything is nothing.”

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, from ‘The Sorrows of Young Werther’ tr. David Constantine

“…I never was bereft / so utterly.”

— Marilyn Hacker, Love, Death, and the Changing of the Seasons; from ‘Coda’

“…this ache, / this longing in my gut, / this emptiness which theorizes you”

— Erica Jong, Half-Lives; from ‘The Evidence’

“So long deserted, I want none but you.”

— Rumi, Love Is My Savior: The Arabic Poems of Rumi; from ‘Longing’, tr. Nesreen Akhtarkhavari & Anthony A. Lee

“no pain but your loss can / darken all my world.”

— Denise Levertov, The Double Image; from 'To the Inviolable Shade’

“…memory’s a poor thing to have. It’s your own real hair and mouth and arms and eyes and hands I want.”

“She wondered whether there would ever come an hour in her life when she didn’t think of him; didn’t speak to him in her head, didn’t relive every moment they’d been together, didn’t long for his voice and his hands and his love. She had never dreamed of what it would feel like to love someone so much […] She thought the tenderness it left in her heart was like a bruise that would never go away, but she would cherish it forever.”

— Philip Pullman, from ‘The Amber Spyglass’

“I think about him every day. Probably every hour. He’s still the centre of my life.”

— Philip Pullman, from ‘The Secret Commonwealth’

"…I’m alone. I want to be alone. If I can’t have you, I’ll be alone always."

— Graham Greene, from 'The End of the Affair'

"But her longing was not extinguished; silent and strong it burned in her heart, hotter in its loss, hot and consuming."

— Jens Peter Jacobsen, from 'Niels Lyhne', tr. Tiina Nunnally

"The simple lack / Of her is more to me / Than others’ presence –"

— Edward Thomas, from ‘The Unknown’

"you are in my heartbeat / echoing itself / returning to itself / remembering forever"

— Halina Poświatowska, from 'Indeed I love', tr. Maya Peretz

[sunflower1experiment]

Man in Red

Naib x reader (TW NSFW)

18+ MINORS DNI

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Everyday he came to visit his lover, S/O, you! Or to at least to the people you don’t pride yourself to that level yet: but after some years, the plague came to be and he changed.

The man you cherished, Naib Subedar was gone and the only thing you could do was watch him as he took over the town, the throne…crucify the prince: your heart squeezed with fright as you watched him speak down to the people and they praised him as if he were some hero from above. So you came to visit the castle, your tired soft gaze always let people know that you mean well but you’re disappointed in the outcome of what’s going on. No one likes to disappoint you, after all you are the caretaker of this town. Owning an orphanage a center for the poor then on top of that you’d use the money for your home and the people, how sweet. That’s why he loved you!

Knocking on the door it was open by a young woman, “Beneficiary who is that?” The mentioned woman bowed politely, “Pardon me, Seven but the lady who took care of me in my younger days is here.” Beneficiary the one who was chosen, her flower bloomed when he aimed one clawed hand towards the scared woman’s head and she stayed by his side since. Even though it’s quite unrequited in their relationship, Seven the man who helped crucify the prince… you carefully reach and held their faces: “I remember you two.”

They both stare as a memory of them as preteens appear, he had a toothy grin while she was so busy playing with the roses. “Beneficiary? Seven?” Another woman came around and her eyes widen. “(Y-Y/N) what are you doing here? It’s dangerous.” Ostrich, she cried the most on account to her lost friend: Violet, the gardener of this town. “I’m just here to visit the man in red.” Man in red it felt so weird to say his name without actually implying whom his real name is.

“Sorry mam.” A spider shaped woman appears, “But he who walks in red isn’t ready for beggars or visitors.”

You blink, “Not even me? An old friend…shame. Well tell him that I’ll keep the boat he likes waiting for him.” Silence then she growls, “Agh…come along Ms. (Surname).”

While walking throughout the castle it was quite easy to notice his liking towards white and red, they didn’t come in a pattern but a ominous term: slightly white with a hint of dark shading, the rooms were blood red with a light of red rose. Soon a patch of butterflies came to view, there he was….

“N-Man in red…” You cover your mouth and he was standing before you.

His lips were peach and warm like, while everything of him from whence he was born was the same. Pale white skin pale white hair and yet he looks so attractive and handsome, you tried so hard not to cry. Until his hand rests on your face, it was like time stops; your breathing was hitched, he was getting closer, you stare into his eyes they were still grey. Did he wish to strike fear into you? No you weren’t afraid, as his hand rests on your cheek you proceed to caress his face causing him to lean into it somberly. “I missed you.” His voice was smooth and raspy with a slight doleful tone, why? If he missed you so then why did you leave you.

Naib leans in and his warm lips make contact with yours, you press your lips to Naib’s while wrapping your arms around him. Once you pull back he averts his gaze as if to feel flustered, “I haven’t seen you in a decade and now here you are initiating the intimacy between us along with pursuing me…I always admired that about you.”

“Admiration and my pursuit was how I felt: I was scared for you hun…and here you are.” You then weakly punch his shoulder. “Having me worried sick, you mean a lot to me yet you’re capable as always. I keep overestimating you and underestimating my worries towards your safety..” he shushed you gently.

“Stop worrying and please stay by my side.”

This was so sudden, marriage? Privately? He didn’t see the whole point in publicly marrying: neither did you on account to other royals and noblemen being jealous or even worse the enemies coming for you both. But let’s be honest, his confidence towards his helpers and your firm stature, the man was basically being guarded by people who loved him dearly.

But this time it was him proclaiming this protection towards you while you do the same; his claws slowly trace over your neck then he bit you, a hand held him close then he pinned your hands down.

Dominance was quite the competition between you two, but in this case you let him take lead until he said the word. His lips make contact with yours again while you moan in the kiss, his claws kept grazing your soft skin.

To Naib: you’re so fragile, but firm and confident, in his own words when you sat on his lap and held his neck lovingly he spoke slyly: “I love the kind of woman who can actually kill me.” If that didn’t turn you on then he doesn’t know what will.

Your quiet moans fill his ears he was rough but never to fast, the man wants to see every bit of you crumble before him until he decides you’re no longer keeping up.

You’d grip his shoulders loosely, voice growing loud and your pants start getting heavy. “Listen to yourself~” he whispers lovingly, “You were meant to be mine ever since you came here.” He bites your collarbone while his voice slurs in your ear. “You’re my little swan.”

Finally your high kicked in and he pulls away while groaning lowly, if the word high was two people it’d be you both. The way he’d push against your waist then go deep, the tears in your eyes start flowing down. “N-Naib I love you.”

Your voice croaked out he just hugs you close in between each thrust he grunts out a rough “I love you too.” Until he finally went through his own fair share of high.

Now the word came through, you sat on his lap and rode it for a moment: until you got up then pin him down to the bed sitting down again he understood the assignment.

Naib held onto your waist, “I love you, so much…” he nods. “You mean the world to me, I’ll stay by your side.” Another nod. “Naib…”

Silence, then you kiss him this time. He groans softly while your hips roll against his, he squeezed down as felt himself twitch inside you then came, “I love you my precious empress~.”

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝐷𝑖𝑙𝑓!𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑇𝑟𝑦 𝑇𝑜 𝑆𝑒𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑒 𝐴𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝐷𝑖𝑙𝑓!𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧 𝑀𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 (𝑅𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑)

Warnings: NSFW content including but not limited to exhibitionism, voyeurism, semi-public sex (don't try it irl), lactating kink, tittyfucking, etc. Aged up/Older Ateez but age differences are still within legal boundaries. Allusions to infidelity (which I do not condone or encourage)

❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

Hongjoong couldn't keep the proud look off his face as he showed off a video of your son playing around on the piano while seated on his lap.

"I'm telling you, he's going to be a musical genius." He boasted to his closest friend, Seonghwa who watched in amazement.

"Mine so far just know how to make messes and keep their mommy and me awake at all hours of the night." Seonghwa chuckled as he gave a lighthearted pat on the bum to the woman right next to him.

"They? You already have two?" You couldn't believe it.

"What can I say? Maybe I'm just really...gifted." Seonghwa winked which had his significant other blushing intensely when he looked her way, the poor thing fanning her face before going to the kitchen to grab more water.

Seonghwa's words left you feeling curious about him and it was a night out for both of you to have fun. So why not have a little fun?

"You must really be packing a lot in there to be able to knock up a girl with 2 kids." You observed as you shamelessly looked at his crotch.

"Well if you ever get too curious I'd be happy to let you experience it firsthand." He looked at you smugly as his thumb cupped your chin.

It was rather dangerous to flirt like this with Hongjoong's best friend right in front of him, but part of you wanted to know what he'd do seeing you act like this, like how'd you'd flirt back in university. You always loved making Hongjoong jealous after all. Taking Seonghwa's hand, you brought his fingers to your lips.

"I'm curious. Very curious actually." You maintained eye contact as you took his fingers in your mouth and mimicked the tongue movements you'd often do on Hongjoong's cock.

Speaking of him, you were surprised as to why he hadn't said or done anything. Looking behind you, you realized he wasn't even there which confused you. Finally you spotted him on the couch and you dropped Seonghwa's fingers out of your mouth when you saw none other than his s/o on Hongjoong's lap.

"Hongjoong!" You angrily exclaimed yet he still had a grin on his face.

"What? I was merely trying to get closer to my friend's soon to be wife." He replied as the hands on her hips went to her ass.

Walking over to them, Seonghwa lifted his partner off the couch and promptly excused himself as he pulled her out of your apartment, no doubt to remind her of a few things. Meanwhile you stood there glaring at Hongjoong who looked unbothered.

"What? It's only ok for you to try and seduce other men?"

You huffed and were about to walk to your room but Hongjoong sat up and hugged you from behind.

"Calm down my little slut, I was only giving you a taste of your own medicine. And besides, you don't need another cock besides mine." He chuckled as he started to play with your pant's zipper.

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

Coming back from the kitchen, you widened your eyes as you saw that Hongjoong's a significant other was still flaunting herself to him and he was going along with it.

"This little bitch." You muttered to yourself thinking that no one heard you but someone did.

"It's frustrating isn't it?" You heard Hongjoong say right next to your ear, lips ghosting over the lobe.

"I take it a cat fight is out of the question?" You asked him.

"Actually.... I have a better idea, if you're comfort enough to help me."

Seeing his smirk and wiggling eyebrows, you knew what he was referring to and you decided fuck it. You allowed him to walk you over to the couch but it was you who pushed him onto it before straddling his lap, the dress you were wearing rising up and nearly exposing your lace panties.

"Well you're certainly not a shy one are you?" Hongjoong mused, eyes unable to look away at your chest that was right in front of his face.

"Hey, sometimes a girl's gotta get dirty to get what she wants." You bit your lip as you took his hands and guided them to your hips. Leaning down, you pressed your forehead against his and swiped your tongue across his upper lip.

"Like stealing another woman's husband." You chuckled slyly.

Hongjoong wasn't planning on feeling this hot by your behavior, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't find you attractive. Obviously you were extremely attractive if you managed to steal Seonghwa away from his wife and Hongjoong could now see why.

"Hongjoong!" You both heard his girl shout.

"Took her long enough." You whispered in his ear, trying to contain your laughter after he not only said he was trying to get close to you but also when he squeezed your ass.

The next thing you felt was a pair of arms getting you off Hongjoong before a voice said:

"I'm sorry but we must be going now."

Seonghwa was fuming as he dragged you over into the car, his hand slamming the door loudly.

"Maybe now you'll think twice before letting someone else try to seduce you." You snorted.

"I wasn't actually gonna let her do anything." He told you, a hand rubbing his temples as he tried to calm down both his anger and embarrassment.

"Oh I know you weren't going to let anything happen baby."

Seonghwa's breath hitched when he saw your face stoop down and start to take him out of his pants. He groaned when you spat on his cock so you could begin pumping him.

"Whatever she had you fantasizing about while your fingers were in her mouth, I can fulfill it and even more."

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

When Yunho said he wanted you to meet a few of his close friends, you began worrying that an event like what happened with his family would took place. But to your surprise it was nothing like that. And in fact you two weren't the only couple who had a large age difference between them, as his recently remarried friend Yeosang had a wife that was closer to your age so that comforted you.

No doubt Yunho intended for you to become friends with the lovely lady, but surprisingly you were bonding a lot more with Yeosang than anyone, and after a while it escalated to a little flirting.

"So is it true that Yunho bought your virginty?"

You nearly spat your drink out when he asked that, but you composed yourself and smiled as if nothing happened.

"Yeah and I honestly don't regret it." You responded.

"I don't think he regrets it either." He gestured over to Yunho who was happily chatting with some of the other guests.

"Did you also buy your now wife's virginity?" You figured it wouldn't be bad to ask him an embarrassing question now.

"No actually I didn't. I didn't have to. From the first moment, she wanted me like I wanted her and in the end, well...... she ended letting me corrupt her after a long game of cat and mouse." He had a fond look on his face as he began to recall all those memories.

"Well with that face I'd let you corrupt me for free." You wanted to slap your hand over your mouth when you accidentally said aloud what you thought in your head.

Yeosang quirked an eyebrow an amusement at your words.

"Oh really? You little innocent thing would let me corrupt you? Tell me, what if it had been me instead of Yunho that paid to have his way with you?" Yeosang was bold enough to tuck some of your hair behind your ear, his large veiny hands making you get wet as you imagined them undressing you.

"I'd let you fuck my pussy for free." You admitted as you began to lean into him.

Unbeknownst to you, Yunho had listened to the entire conversation and now he stepped in to pull you away from Yeosang. He looked beyond mad and you thought you fucked up for real. He dragged you into some lonely part of the park you were all gathered in and pressed you up against one of the trees. Before you could speak, his large frame trapped you as he started to pull your dress up.

"A long time ago, I paid for this little pussy of yours, isn't that right?" He harshly asked.

You nodded immediately before gasping when Yunho practically tore your panties off you, leaving your bottom half exposed for anyone walking by to see. You tried to pull your dress down, but were stopped by him.

"Don't even try it. Like I said, I paid for your pussy which means it's mine to show whenever I want....." You shuddered when he plunged two fingers in you.

"And fuck whenever I want. Just me, no one else. "

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

You weren't going to lie that you felt uneasy about Yunho's wife talking a little too friendly with Yeosang. Even though you tried to listen to what Yunho was saying, your eyes kept trailing back over to them, and you couldn't stop squinting your eyes at her.

"You can stop being on edge about my wife, she's not going to steal Yeosang away from you." Yunho assured you.

You looked back at him with a face that let him know he was stupid.

"Oh honey, you have no idea what a woman can be like. Don't be fooled by our innocent appearances." You warned him before looking back at Yeosang.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Judging by his tone, you knew Yunho felt offended that you meant anything remotely offensive towards his wife.

Wanting to lighten up the mood while simultaneously letting him understand your point of view, you fully turned your attention to him and smirked as you 'innocently' began adjusting his tie.

"Wha-what are you doing?" Yunho couldn't help the stammer in his voice when you came close to him.

"I'm just fixing this up for you." You answered, your voice sounding as smooth as honey.

"That's not necessary-" Yunho gulped when he tried to pull away only for you to suddenly pull him back in, your body now pressed to his, your breasts peeping out of your cleavage daring him not to stare.

"A woman may help a man tie his tie, fix his belt or..... adjust their collars simply to be nice."

Yunho stiffened and blushed red when you leaned in and whispered with a honey like voice in his ear:

"Or it's because we're trying to get you guys to fuck us."

You knew your plan worked when Yunho's eyes shot wide open and he excused himself to go stomp over to where his wife and Yeosang were. You patted yourself on the back especially when you made emphasis on the adjusting collars part, knowing that Yunho saw just as you did how his wife had adjusted Yeosang's collar before and he was not subtle about checking out her cleavage.

Your proud smile did not leave your face even when you saw Yeosang slowly approaching you. You knew he definitely saw how you were with Yunho and you were curious to see what'd he say. Humming softly, he went behind you so he could wrap his arms around your waist while his face buried itself on your neck.

"Mind telling me why you were so close with Yunho?"

Reaching a hand up to pat his hair, you answered:

"Simply teaching him a few lessons on how women seduce men."

Yeosang couldn't help but let out a soft laugh at your words. You giggled when you felt his lips press open mouth kisses along your neck.

"Yeah you're an expert in that category, aren't you?"

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

"Umm...uh Y/N?" Mingi, San's friend spoke up.

"Yeah?" You wondered what was bothering him.

He seemed unsure whether to tell you or not, whatever it was that he was trying to say. Clearing his throat, he finally decided to spit it out.

"I think you spilled something on your shirt when you went to the kitchen and didn't notice."

You were confused as you didn't remember spilling anything on yourself. Looking down at your shirt, you laughed as you realized what it actually was.

"Oh! I didn't spill anything, that's just my boobs." You blurted out.

Mingi flushed pink as it clicked on his head what you meant.

"Oh...right. San had mentioned before that you lactated a lot but I didn't think-" He stopped himself before he went further.

"Didn't think?" You pressed him to continue.

"Didn't think it'd be that much." He confessed, eyes curiously eyeing the wet stains on your shirt.

Getting turned on by another man staring at your breasts, you reached for the bottom of your shirt and pulled it off of you. Slowly, you began to pull your bra up as well, your breasts popping out with a bounce that had Mingi biting his lip. San came in to find you topless and with his friend admiring your tits and although he'd usually be very jealous, something about it made him get aroused.

"My wife's tits are so pretty aren't they Mingi?" He startled you both when he made his presence known.

"God yes." Mingi couldn't lie.

"Maybe you should taste them." San suggested as he reached for one of them and squeezed it so a bit of milk would come out of it.

Mingi hesitated but after San reassured him it was fine, the giant male latched his mouth onto one of your breasts, sucking on it fervently. If you thought it couldn't get any better, soon San joined in, taking a hold of your other breast and taking it into his mouth. You threw your head back and moaned loudly as both men sucked on your breasts, your hands cupping the back of their heads to push them further into your chest.

"Just watch Mingi, she can literally cum untouched by just having us breastfeed from her." San chuckled in between his suckling.

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

"I should cut off your balls." You threatened Mingi as he confessed to you what had transpired the day before at San's house.

"Honey please don't do that. At least you heard it from me, doesn't that count for something?" He pouted at you as he tried to hug you.

"Yeah it counts for getting it sliced off in one whole strike instead of piece by piece." You grunted as you evaded his embrace.

"Ok, what's it going to take for you to forgive me? Ask for anything. If you even wanna withhold kinky times from me, I won't even blame you."

You actually thought long and hard about how to get back at Mingi. Just what could possibly make you get even with him after he confessed to sucking on his friend's wife's tits? The light bulb went off in your head at once.

"Can you ask your friend San to come over?"

Although he was confused by your request, he nonetheless did as you asked and called him over. San was just as confused, but he figured he was probably there to help his friend out and apologize for what happened and take responsibility. But what he was not expecting was for you to throw yourself on him and start seducing him right in front of Mingi, who was equally shocked.

"You got to have your fun with his wife yesterday right? I think it's only fair he gets to have fun with your wife, don't you think Mingi?" You smirked over at him.

San was hissing and grunting as he layed on your bed, watching intently as his cock was buried deep in between your boobs. Every time his head popped out, you made sure to stick your tongue out to further stimulate him.

"You seem to have a thing for breasts Sannie." You teased as you began to fuck him between your boobs even faster.

"Oh fuck!" San cried out as he tried to keep himself from cumming.

"Mingi also likes a good tittyfuck every now and then, but he's more of an ass man above all."

You looked over at Mingi, who sat quietly on a chair in front of you both, watching it all go down with a tent in his pants.

"Mingi come fuck my ass." You suddenly told him.

"Are you serious?" Mingi widened his eyes.

"I just got done saying how you're an ass man and I'm feeling empty. Now are you going to stay sitting down or are you going to join in?"

In minutes, Mingi had gotten up and had stripped himself off his clothes, and now he was positioning himself right behind you, cock twitching at fucking your ass while your breasts fucked his friend.

"You really are a kinky little lady."

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

"Wait, you met Y/N where?"

Wooyoung wasn't surprised to hear the disbelief in Jongho's voice as they shared stories about how they met their current significant others.

"In the strip club I frequented. She was one of the dancers there." He repeated himself.

"What? Did she drop her panties onstage and you immediately bought a ring?" Jongho teased him.

"One, we're not married...yet. And two, I actually had to get her alone to be able to see her with no clothes on. And fuck when I did, I decided to snatch her away before anyone else got a chance to." He admitted.

"Was she that enticing to you?" Jongho questioned him.

"Trust me, she's the type of woman who can dance her way into a man's heart. Or pants." Wooyoung boldly stated.

"I doubt she could dance into mine." Jongho firmly said.

"Oh really? You think so? Wanna bet on it?"

Wooyoung didn't hesitate to pick up his phone and call you right away. Hearing his mischievous tone, you knew he was up to something. When he asked you to come over to his office in one of your old costumes from your exotic dancer days, you got a hint as to what it could be and it excited you to think about it.

You came into his office, thinking he wanted a private show but you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw that he wasn't alone. You looked at Wooyoung, asking for an explanation.

"Baby I hope you don't mind but.... I wanted you to put on a little show for my dear old friend here." Wooyoung shifted in his seat.

You were about to scold Wooyoung for even thinking of such an idea, but Jongho spoke up first.

"She can try all she wants, but I doubt she'll be effective in seducing me."

You scoffed at the man's words and at that moment you wanted nothing than to wipe that smug look off his face. Setting your phone on the desk and pressing play, you walked right in front of Jongho and let the long trench coat fall of your body, revealing the glittery lingerie you were hiding. Although Jongho tried to remain stoic, you could see that the corners of his lip twitched slightly when you began to dance.

You felt proud of yourself when it seemed you were finally getting him to break as you rolled your body on top of him, your hips mere inches from actually grinding down on his crotch.

"Can I touch her?" Jongho finally blurted out, nails clawing the couch underneath him.

Wooyoung and you both exchanged a triumphant look when he asked that.

"Only if you admit I won the bet, then I'll even let you fuck her."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

"Are we really doing this right here?" You giggled as Jongho continued to mark kisses across your neck as he pushed you onto the desk behind you.

"Can't help it. I just really wanted you now." He winked when he came back up to cup your face and hungrily kiss your lips.

You found it odd that Jongho was suddenly getting frisky with you while at work. He'd never ever approve of you two risking getting caught doing something inappropriate during work hours. But you figured it was because back then you two were a secret and now almost everyone knew you two were married. So you just didn't think too much of it and instead enjoyed as his strong hands gripped your thighs and spread them apart so he could fit himself in between your legs.

Just as you two were getting lost in each other, the door opened and someone came in.

"Oh I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" A man whom you had never met before asked as he seemed embarrassed about walking in on you two.

"Oh, not at all Wooyoung. In fact I was expecting you right at this time, after all, I did call you here."

Jongho looked so unfazed about having his friend walk in, in fact, he looked almost too happy about getting caught like that, it was so unlike him. Just as you slid off the desk and began adjusting yourself, Jongho stopped you.

"Wooyoung? Remember the other night? When you let your little exotic dancer give me a lap dance?"

You widened your eyes when he said that, hearing that for the first time.

"Among other things." Wooyoung nodded.

Taking your hand, Jongho slowly walked you over to where Wooyoung was seated.

"Well.... I think it's time you let me return the favor."

Before you could even guess what was happening, Jongho sat you on Wooyoung's lap, your back pressed against his chest.

"I left her wet and bothered so I think she'd really appreciate it if you helped her out." Jongho winked at you before stepping back to his desk to get a better view.

You whimpered when you felt Wooyoung's hands slide up your shirt to cup your breasts.

"Are you ok with this babygirl?" He asked you.

Having Jongho watching you intently and being left needy by him, you didn't hesitate to let his friend know that you were more than ok with him touching you, which delighted him and Jongho as well.

"Don't hold back on her, she likes it rough."

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners

[red-doll-face]

Hey I love reading your Thomas Hewitt stories and I was wondering if you can write one with Thomas Hewitt being a dom and a little with his female s/o if your comfortable writing it or you can do a Thomas Hewitt and female s/o where they grew up with each other and she had to leave for because of her parents and a couple years later she comes back and surprises him and the family ☺️😅

It’s not that im not up for it I just wasn’t sure if u wanted nsfw or fluff but the second prompt was a bit more clear, if you’re still interested in the first maybe send me a few more details and I’ll see what I can do ! Sorry this took forever to write 🥲

WC: 1285

Warnings; nothing much this is sort of fluffy , mentions of bullying and blood

Thomas B. Hewitt x gn Reader

One and Only

“C’mon, come play with us!” Blonde summer hair bounced around with all of the other girls on the school ground, the other girls with their dresses and bobby socks. Your mother, a dutiful teacher at the school made you wear clothes that seemed to fit right in with them but no matter what she dressed you in, you never were enthusiastic about playing with them.

“Yeah, leave the dumb ugly boy crying in the ditch.” They laughed, cruelly. Your brows furrowed.

“But he’s bleeding.” You mutter and they boo you and blow raspberries at you.

“Who cares, he’s so ugly,” They chitter and some become uninterested enough to wander away. Your heart bleeds like he does as you begin to climb into the ditch he was tossed in. This was the worst anyone had ever done to poor Tommy B. Hewitt. His face was scarred and flaky, thus the target of every person with a mean bone in their body. Girls and boys would poke at him. Prod him like a circus attraction.

“Tommy? Where’s your mama?” He sobs in the ditch, blood from tumbling over sharp things dripping down the tan skin of his arm. Your pressed white shirt has a brown smudge on it already. He never answers that question. You don't say anything either for a moment, watching him heave. You try to help him up but he’s too heavy for you to carry up the steep slope. He must have dirt all over his face. Dirt all over your shoes. You frown and look at the ridge of the hole you're in. His mama’ll never see him from up there. He might never go home. You couldn't imagine him laying in the ditch behind the schoolyard all night, his poor mama crying out for him and he none the wiser. Sleeping in the dirt. You know what his mama looks like. So, you wait on top of the ridge. Eventually, Tommy’s mama comes around.

“You seen my son, child?”

“Yes, Ms.Hewitt. He’s in there. The older boys beat him and pushed him in. Can’t get him out anyhow. I tried.” You point towards the boy. Small for someone so big for his age. His papa must be the size of Mt. Rushmore. The woman gasps and stumbles down the incline.

“You rotten things! My baby down here bleedin’!” She helps her son to stand and you finally see his face. It is indeed covered in dirt and tears. The red scarring raises over the lower half of his face. Tommy sees you looking and he chokes back a sob, letting his head bow to face the ground. His mama can’t quite get him out either so you help her tug him up. His ankle might have gotten hurt. The woman, though judging you as one of the children who tormented her son, thanks you.

“You do this to my son?” She glares down at you and you shake your head.

“Good.”

Tommy’s family has a plantation a few miles away from the town and many a mile away from the slaughterhouse. You and your mama live in the area. Mama sometimes goes down to give Luda Mae, Tommy’s mama, some books for Tommy. She won’t let him go to school no more seeing as how they nearly broke her son's leg. You go down with her, no one to look after you at the house. You hide behind her skirt but she shoos you away to go play with Tommy. She and Ms. Luda Mae talk about tea and rancher’s gossip. Tommy’s in the parlor. Bits of fabric and a tin full of needles sit on the floor with him. You tilt your head.

“What’re you doing?” You speak and he startles. He looks like he might cry again and you're not sure what to do. You watch as he shrinks in on himself. You kneel down next to him, picking up a thread he had cut and a needle.

“Need help threading it?” He fumbles and snatches the items. He tries to show you he can do it, quickly becoming frustrated. He hadn’t the tact for it but it could be learned.

“Here,” you show him your trick, placing the bristled thread between your lips for a second, then slipping it easily in the eye. You pull it out and tell him to try. He slowly copies your actions and you smile.

You remember the Hewitt boy fondly. You remember him when he was his happiest. Unfortunately, your mother couldn't afford to live in the town anymore after her work dried up and the water followed behind. She had found a job in Dallas, as her child you went where she did. You were sad that you had to leave poor Tommy B. Hewitt behind, you knew you were the only friend he ever had.

Now, you live in Dallas, looking after your mother. She teaches kids piano and you work in the city. Your mother one day mentions the quaint country house you used to live in and you decide to go see if it's still standing. Driving down the dusty roads brings back memories of simpler days. You remember, suddenly the sullen face of Tommy too. He had been so sad to see you drive away. You waved at him.

The plantation house is still there. A lot dingier and darker than you could recall. You fear for a moment that it's abandoned but there are signs of life. You carefully walk up to the porch, knowing Tommy’s uncle had set traps to catch varmint all of the time. You make it and knock. The weathered face of Ms. Luda Mae answers, looking surprised and then her face sours.

“If it ain't the city slicker.” She furrows her brow, glasses on beads pulled up to rest on the tip of her nose.

“Hi Ms. Luda Mae. How’ve you been?” You try to be friendly but she appears to be resistant to your smile and warm tone.

“Fine, just fine. You?” It’s southern politeness, she doesn't seem an ounce interested.

“Good, I haven't been down here since-”

“Since you left. Broke my only son’s heart, you did.” You frown. You hadn’t meant to but you won't fill your mouth with excuses. She knows why you left.

“Tommy’s still around?”

“Yup. I’m not sure he’ll want to see you. I’ll call him over anyway.” She closes the door a moment and shuffles off into her house. You stand patiently, waiting. Lumbering footsteps approach the door and stop. Nervous maybe. You don’t call out to him, soon the creak of the door assures you he does want to see you.

“Hi Tom-” He picks you up and hoists you in a hug. You gasp, his arms tightening around your middle. He’s grown up now, you can tell. He’s tall and built like a brick house. He places you down after a moment, hands on your shoulders as if to make sure you’re real. To make sure you’ll stay. He has a mask on to cover a face you’ve already seen.

“Tommy B. Hewitt, do you remember me?” He nods and looks down on you with those familiar brown eyes.

“Your mama said I broke your heart. That true?” He averts his eyes in embarrassment. Looking rather sheepish for a man the size of a bull. He doesn't indicate any form of yes. You comfort him anyway.

“I’m sorry Tommy. Wasn't a thing I could do. Do you forgive me?” He nods after a moment.

“Fill me in on what’s happening round here?” He nods again, eagerly gripping your hand in his own, tugging you inside of the old plantation house..

This one isn’t very exciting and is sort of long but I hope u like it ! Thanks for the req ! 😳🥰