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goldenmazzello · 4 years ago

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Lay all your love on me | Part 1

(I don't own this gif. Credits to the owner)

Warning: Flashbacks. Language. Mentions of poor mental health, angst.

W/C: 2.8k.

A/N: Hello! This is the first part of Lay all your love on me. You can find the next parts on my pinned masterlist here.

MASTERLIST

Your last day on set has finally arrived. It's amazing how time flies when you're busy doing things you really love, surrounded by magnificient people. It makes you forget about your every day routine and to have some fun from time to time.

Everybody was getting their make-up done for the last day of filming. As you entered the trailer in order to get yours done, a sweet, delicate voice called you.

"(Y/n)! Are you ready for our last day?" Lucy asked with a bright smile on her face while sitting on her personalized black chair, which had her name written at the back.

You smiled. "To be honest, I'm not doing too well, I'm gonna miss you guys so much." You said with a pouty face. Lucy said she would miss all of you too.

“Oh, nice baby bump!”

You furrowed your brows but then you remembered. You were wearing a fake silicone belly, since your character was going to be pregnant in that scene.

“Yeah, he’s kicking so hard.” You joked.

You sat on your chair as your assistant helped you put your wig. You laughed at your reflection in the mirror. "I still can't used to this wig." You found it odd to wear a blonde wig.

“At least they didn’t give you a perm!” Joe appeared holding two cups of coffee on each of his hands. “Here you have, my wonderful wife.” he approached you and gave you one of the cups. You laughed at his comments.

“Thank you, Mr. Deacon.” You thanked him and left a kiss on his cheek.

Joe bringing you coffee on set every morning became a habit, one you were very delighted with. He was so kind with you that you swore your heart could just melt for every little thing he did for you.

And while drinking your coffee, you remembered your very first day on set and how you and Joe started talking.

Filming had already started by your first day on set. Today, you would meet the entire cast of the wonderful movie you were going to take part in. You felt an overwhelming joy for being part of such an incredible project, not only because it was a big step in your career as an actress, but also because you were a Queen fan. And it was your very first time in London.

Your very first scene was Freddie’s birthday party. You greeted all of your new cast mates before paying attention to the director’s indications.

You sat between two of your cast mates. One of them was wearing a long-haired blonde wig and the other a long-haired brown one with a strange fringe. You were wearing a wig as well. It was a black-haired one with a fringe and low pony tails falling over your shoulders. Your eyes had a beautiful emerald eye-shadow which you weren’t very comfortable with but you didn’t care, you were another person now, it was your job.

As they started filming, you kept a conversation with the actor that played John Deacon’s role, your husband, of who you didn't remember his name. You smile at each other and them you both joined the conversation that the others were having about Freddie’s life as his mom stood up and looked for family pictures.

The director decided to take some breaks in between the scenes. It was a good opportunity to introduce yourself and to make some new friends.

“Hey, nice to meet you. I’m Ben.” said the blonde one who was next to you and you told him your name. The other actors joined him and all of you started talking. There was something strange in one of them, the one who was next to you and introduced himself as Joe. Why was he talking so weird?

“Why are you doing a bad American accent?” You asked him laughing. He furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth but didn’t say anything, he looked as if he was trying to find the words to say. “B-but, t-that’s my voice.” he said confused.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” You said and covered your face with your hands. That’s why you don’t have friends, stupid, you said to yourself.

Your face was burning and you felt absolutely embarrassed. How long have you been on set? Three hours? And you were already causing trouble.

He laughed. “Nevermind. What an awesome compliment. I mean, I’ve been working on it so hard and you thought that I was actually British but...What’s wrong with my voice? I think it’s a pretty convincing American accent. Anyway, thanks for the compliment.”

“I’m really really sorry, I don’t know why I said that.” Your face was still red. You wished the Earth would swallow you, you wanted to disappear from his sight. He put his hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, you don’t need to apologize. I really meant what I’ve said, it was a nice compliment, I’m prouder of myself now!” He assured you and gave you an expression that indicated everything was okay and there wasn’t anything bad at what you had said, he wasn’t mad at that.

You weren’t very convinced but after getting closer to him the following days, you realized that he was telling you the truth and there wasn’t anything you should worry about. After that, you both talked about each other’s lives. You found out he lived in New York, just as you. He was from there but you were from New Jersey. You told him how you ended up moving to New York to study and work on your acting career. Since that day, you both became very good friends. And the same thing happened with Ben, Gwilym, Rami and Lucy, you became close to them because of your new friendship with Joe.

“Let’s take a picture for Instagram.” Joe suggested. You stood next to him, with your right hand covering half of your mouth showing surprise and Joe put one of his hands on your fake belly and the other did the same as yours.

Lucy took the photo.

@Joe_Mazzello: Say hi to the Deacon family! @(y/n)(y/s/n) #BohemianRhapsody #Queen #DeaconFamily

The director was giving the last indications for the scene. We will rock you. You were on a sofa next to Joe, having a conversation as Ben did the same with the actress who played his wife and the one who was Gwilym’s wife sat there looking at him, while he was looking at Rami, completely annoyed. The girls were very good actresses but unfortunately, they weren’t very close to the rest of the cast and won’t be joining the future tour press since they have another projects in the pipeline.

“You look so funny in that blonde wig.” Joe teased you, knowing that you hated it.

Actually, Joe wanted to tell you that you looked beautiful, as always, but he wasn't bold enough to do it.

"Shut up or I'll take your wig off." You threatened him, he mocked you and rested his head on your shoulder.

And after that, Gwilym ordered everybody to join him. He came up with the beat of a new song he had been working on. Suddenly, all of you were clapping your hands at the third beat as Rami appeared and apologized for being late. He asked what was going on and Gwilym explained he wanted to give the audience a song they could perform and be part of it and you all began to sing and clap your hands.

"Cut!" The director shouted.

And everything was done. There were no scenes left, nothing else. After that, Rami suggested to go and have coffee. All of you were sat on the floor and drinking your coffee.

"I can't believe it's our last day." You said.

"I still remember the very first time you were on set." Gwilym said. "And the odd American accent." he moved his gaze from you to Joe and laughed.

"Oh no, please, I'm still ashamed of that." You begged him not no bring that back.

Memories from set were mentioned as you took a sip of coffee. You had a big smile on your face as you remembered probably one of the best days of your life and the best memory on set.

"Who's coming over?" You asked Rami, who was taking his crown off and put in on your head, you laughed.

"I don't know, darling. Maybe some fans." He shrugged. He got used to talking like Freddie.

After Freddie's party scene in Garden Lodge, the director suggedted to take a break and said that they had some guests on set that day.

"I thought we were going to film the I want to break free music video now." Gwilym said thoughtful with his hand on his chin.

"Hey mates, look who are here today!" Ben said as he, Joe and Lucy stood next to you, Rami and Gwilym and pointed at the door.

You couldn't believe your eyes when you saw them.

Brian May and Roger Taylor were a few feet away from you. Brian and Roger, from Queen, your favorite band, your idols.

"Hey folks, How are you doing today?" Asked Brian with a charming smile.

Everybody greeted them but you. You were in shock, your face was as white as a sheet and your jaw was slacked. Lucy seemed to notice you and held your hand.

Joe put his hand in your back and rubbed it softly. “Let’s go outside and catch some fresh air.”

“Hey, who’s this pretty lady?” Roger asked. He took off his black glasses.

“(Y/n) are you okay?” Lucy asked worried and the four men next to you turned to look.

Oh God, you were absolutely nervous. Never in your craziest dreams you thought about having this opportunity. You knew that Brian and Roger sometimes visited the set but you didn’t think they would do it a day you were there.

“I-I-I’m (Y/n)...” you extended your shaky hand. “Oh sorry for this, but I’m a big fan of Queen and...Oh God I can’t believe it!” Roger laughed and took your hand and shook it. You thought you were going to faint. You could feel your knees weaken.

“No! I’m okay” You were shaking.

“Wow, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve seen some pictures of you here on set with these amazing people, you’re doing amazing.” He said and Brian nodded.

“We’re finally meeting!” Brian said and you smiled with watery eyes.

Joe wondered what made you deal with so much pain, you'd never said anything about that. He felt his heart broke at the mere thought of you being in pain.

Brian and Roger were absolutely grateful for your words.

“I feel like I’m dreaming.” You laughed nervously. “You guys don’t have an idea of how much I appreciate you, your music helped me to heal so much pain and I will be forever grateful for that. I wanna show you something.” You said as you uncover your left wrist from your sleeve. You had a beautiful butterfly tattooed and under it, a lyric from one of your favorite songs by Queen, Spread your wings. “I’ve had this for over 12 years now and one of my biggest wishes was to show it to both of you someday and to thank you for everything."

“I’m glad our music help you in any possible way.” Brian said “And your tattoo is amazing. John would be very pleased If he saw it” You smiled.

“I love it.” Roger said. “Hey Bri, why don’t we take a photo with her for Instagram?”

“That would be nice.”

Oh my God.

"Let me be your photographer." Rami asked Brian for his phone and took some photos of your tattoo and others of you with them. A few minutes after that, your phone buzzed. Queen has tagged you on a post.

@OfficialQueenMusic: “So glad to meet a fan today that will be part of our upcoming movie. Thank you for sharing your story with us @(y/n)(y/s/n) #BohemianRhapsody”

That was, by far, the best day of your entire life.

“Hey, come back to Earth, where are you?” Ben asked moving a hand in your face. You shook your head.

“I was thinking about the first time I met Brian and Roger.” You blushed and he laughed.

“Oh, the day you almost pass out” Ben joked and you slapped him on his arm. “Hey, Am I telling a lie?”

“Of course I almost pass out, my eyes were lucky to see Brian and Roger in person.” You and Ben giggled.

“I’m going to miss you, do you know that?” Ben asked.

“So do I!” You hugged him. Smiling. "You know I'm going to visit you."

Those weeks on set made you realize how lucky you were to find such incredible people. After years and years of being alone in your misery. After the countless nights you cried yourself to sleep and feeling like a piece of shit for being so alone in this world, everything was making sense now.

You never told them about what you had been through. Being a teenager wasn’t easy. You wanted people to destroy the concept that your teenage years are supposed to be fun and those are the best years of your life because when you hit your late 20s, responsibilities are hard to manage and everything seems to be falling apart. Why couldn’t you be happy now?

Now, that you were 30, that everything was left behind. You wished you could say that you were a happy teenager and you didn’t have to fake a smile and pretend everything was okay. There were days you barely could get out of your house and see other people, or even worse, some days you couldn’t get out of bed and shower because there wasn’t any motivation at all. And no one understood. No one knew how hard it was being you, having such an stressful life that you worried about every little thing and it seemed you would never be at peace. You never felt safe. How hard it was to interact with others without thinking that they just did it to be nice to you or that they were desperately waiting for you to shut your fucking mouth. Isolation didn’t feel right. Loneliness didn’t feel right. Nothing felt right at all. You couldn’t keep pretending to be happy, you needed a reason to keep holding on, something that made you believe that your life was going to change, you wanted to be back on your feet and to know that all of that pain was gone.

Maybe it wasn’t so hard to be you, and eventually, you would find out where you belonged. You felt it was taking forever and you couldn’t wait for things to get better. You knew that someday things would be better and that your day would come. Sometimes you wished someone would save you, but you knew that you had to save yourself. If only you could find what you've been looking for. "How could this happen to me? "was the only thing that was always on your mind. You were sick of this life, you wanted to scream. You felt out of place, you were sick of feeling so left out.

And at that moment, you knew that your 18-year-old-self would be proud of you. Proud of the woman you had become and that now, all of your worries were left behind. You didn’t have to worry about that again, but it was still hard to open your heart and tell people about it. You weren’t embarrassed, it was part of you, part of your story but you didn’t want people to pity you.

You didn’t realize you were almost crying until Joe spoke.

“What’s going on?” He hugged you. Your vision was blurry, it was difficult for you to see clearly. You wiped your tears with your thumb and you chuckled.

“I’m very emotional today. I’m grateful for everything that this movie brought me, especially the five of you.”

There was a broad smile on Joe’s face. “Well, I’m glad you say that because you won’t get rid of me so easily, huh?” He joked. Joe always knew how to make you smile. But he was right, you lived like 30 minutes away from him, you would see each other everyday. “I have a list of places we’re visiting after coming back to New York.”

“That’s why I love you.” You hugged him again. He smiled.

Joe felt something on his chest. He wished that I love you meant something else than being loved as a friend, but at the same time, he didn’t want to feel like this, he didn’t want to be in love again. Since his last girlfriend cheated on him with his friend, he couldn’t feel anything for someone. All of his dates failed and he decided to take some time for himself.

But there was something Joe couldn’t deny, when you were near, everything seemed so easy, he could look into your eyes and forget the world.

“I love you even more.”

#joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello #joe mazzello fic #joe mazzello fluff #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello angst #borhap cast x reader #borhap cast #borhap boys x reader #borhap boys #joe mazzelo x reader #goldenmazzello

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avengerscompound · 5 years ago

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That Kid You Knew - Chapter 5

That Kid You Knew: An Iron Man Fanfic

Masterlist Previous //

Buy me a ☕ Square: @iron-man-bingo Friends to Lovers

Warning: Smut (M|F vaginal fingering)

Word Count: 2673

Pairing: Tony Stark x F!Reader

Summary: You had grown up knowing Tony Stark but as you’d gotten older you’d lost track of him. When you see him at a party you have a drug-fueled one-night-stand with him.

10 years later he finds you again and has to come to terms with the fact he’s been a father all the time.

Chapter 5

“So, did you have a good birthday, kid?”

The sound of Tony’s voice traveled down the hall as he spoke with Owen. The party had gone a little later than expected and had been followed by dinner out with the Avengers and that landed right in the middle of the two Harry Potter and the Cursed Child show’s he’d gotten tickets too.

You’d come back to your apartment that was stacked high with moving boxes and were now trying to find space in them for the myriad of new gifts Owen had received. The removalists were coming to take everything tomorrow morning, so you wanted to make sure it was ready to go.

“It was awesome! I never did that many things before. I thought we were done and then there was another thing.” Owen replied, the excitement clear in his voice. He continued talking but the words aren’t clear enough to hear what he is saying.

“Of course. Owen. I’m never going to miss another birthday. I have to make up for all those ones I missed. When you turn 50 I’ll be there.” Tony said.

“Wouldn’t you be dead by then?” Owen giggled.

“I’m never going to die.” Tony joked.

There was a sudden fit of loud laughter from the room and you moved into the kitchen to unpack the dishwasher.

“I wish we weren’t moving. I liked being close to you.” Owen said.

“Yeah. You’ll have a yard though. Maybe you can talk to your mom about getting a dog.” Tony said.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes as resigned yourself to having to go to a shelter with Owen.

“Will you come and visit a lot?” Owen asked.

“As much as I can. And you can come to stay here with me.” Tony answered. “It’s pretty late now though. I think you had better sleep.”

“I’m all worked up though,” Owen complained.

You laughed a little and headed into your bedroom to take a shower. You spend a while just standing under the showerhead, enjoying that perfect pressure and temperature that you’d only ever achieved while living in the Avengers Tower. When you got out, Tony was sitting on the end of your bed. You startled and held your towel closed at your chest.

“Do you want to have that talk?” He asked.

“Can I get dressed first?” You asked.

“Yeah, sure.” He laughed and stepped into the hall. You changed quickly into your pajamas and went and got him.

He closed the door behind him and approached you, running his fingers down your arm. “Did you get a little bit jealous?”

You nodded, feeling a little bit ashamed. “I don’t want you to date anyone else.” You said quietly.

Tony smiled. “That’s okay. I only want to date you anyway.”

You sighed and shook your head. “Last time… when we kissed. You made it seem like you only wanted me because I was Owen’s mom.”

Tony led you to your bed and you sit down side-by-side. “I was an idiot. But we do have a history of being idiots when we’re around each other don’t we?”

“I guess so.” You chuckled softly.

Tony took your hands in his and ran a calloused thumb over your palm. “I got caught up in the moment.” He shook his head like he was trying to clear it. “Fuck. I gotta come clean here. I am not good with all this feelings stuff.”

You laughed a little and he lifted your hand to his face and kissed it. “Alright. So… I definitely … had feelings for you. But I was just… this mess of shit. I was angry at you. So fucking angry. I could see why you did it, but fuck… I couldn’t believe anyone would keep my kid from me like that. But then… you were being so good about it. Letting me see him when I wanted and just trying to make it so this went smoothly. Plus… I really like hanging around with you. I like seeing you with him being a mom. And even though you kept him from me, you also gave him to me. So when he called me dad that first time, I was just this massive ball of mixed emotions. And as you can see…” He gestured to himself. “I am shit at that. And I thought ‘Oh god, I’m his dad. And you’re his mom. And I like you. We should be a family.’ It was maybe not the smartest thing I’ve done. But to be fair, not the dumbest thing I’ve ever done either.”

You lay back on the bed and sighed. Tony lay down beside you and the two of you rolled onto your sides and faced each other. It was a close and intimate position to be in as you stared directly into the warm brown of his eyes. “What changed then?”

“Well, like I said… I do like you. I might… love… you. But you didn’t hear that from me.” He smirked and you snickered at his joke. It made you feel both light and warm and a tight constricting pressure in your chest. “Owen told me that if I thought I liked you, I shouldn’t ignore it. That even if we did break up he’d still be my son. That helped. It made me decide that I needed to get my shit together. I can’t be this emotionally broken asshole who just pushes people away. I can’t be who my dad was. So I’ve been sorting through how I feel. I thought about whether I’d want you if there was no Owen. And I would. There’s a reason why we fucked. And yes, drugs were a huge reason. But I’m attracted to you. I like being around you. I think you’re amazing. So, I’d like to try this.”

You reached over and ran your finger down his cheek and along the line of his jaw. “You’re not afraid of something going wrong?”

He smiled and his eyes crinkled at the corners. “Of course I am. I am terrible at this stuff. But I’ve done the calculations. It’s worth the risk.”

You leaned in and kissed him. It lingered but you didn’t part your lips. It was just a soft warm press of your lips against his before pulling back.

He ran his hand down your arm. “So, what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking you should get more comfortable because you might be here for a long time.”

He tilted his head and scrunched his brow. “That could be taken three ways. Either you’re about to talk forever, you just asked to bang, or you just asked me to marry you.”

You laughed and gave him a shove. “The first one.”

He got up and took his shoes and jacket off. You climbed under the covers and when he saw you, he took off his pants too, before climbing into bed with you in just his boxers and t-shirt. You resumed your positions, lying side-by-side and facing each other. “I really like you too, Tony. I just… I don’t know how to be in a relationship at all. Let alone one with a celebrity. Let alone that person being a celebrity because they’re a genius, billionaire, Avenger, that happens to also be the father of my kid.”

Tony sighed. “It’ll be tough. I’m not going to lie. But that’s already the case, isn’t it?”

You nodded. His fans had not gone easy on you. While they all adored seeing Tony with Owen (something that freaked you out, if you were being honest with yourself), you were getting so much shit slung in your direction. You were the dumb, nasty, gold-digging, slut, who tricked Tony Stark and now just wanted him for his money and fame. “It’s weird… I don’t worry about you. I know you. It’s me I don’t trust. I don’t trust that I’m strong enough to be who you need me to be.”

Tony laughed and pressed his lips to your forehead. “I need you to be you.” He said. “Besides, what are you talking about not strong enough? You raised a son alone. Never once letting anyone know who his dad was. You could have just used me for the money, you know? You are the strongest most together person I’ve ever met.”

You both edged a little closer together and Tony placed his hand on your hip. “I just… how do you be a girlfriend?” You asked.

“You seriously didn’t date at all since we hooked up?”

You shook your head. “No. I just…” You sighed. “Getting pregnant to you the way I did was such a monumentally stupid thing I could ever dream of doing. Like even if I hadn’t gotten pregnant. Who doesn’t use a condom when they fuck someone they barely know and have no idea what their sexual history is like? Or actually, worse, I did know. And it wasn’t good, Tony. What if I caught something? Of all the negative outcomes; unplanned pregnancy was one of the best ones.” You shook your head again like you were trying to clear it. “So, I didn’t trust myself after that. I didn’t trust that any judgment I made about another man would be a good one. What if that guy gives me chlamydia? What if that guy cheats on me? What if that one hits me? What if he’s a pedophile just using me to get to Owen? I just decided, for Owen’s sake more than anything, that it was best if I just didn’t.”

“But you trust me?” Tony asked.

You nodded. “I had to let you in. For Owen’s sake. And you’ve proven that you’re trustworthy. Also, I didn’t get chlamydia from you that time, so that’s a bonus.”

Tony burst out laughing and rolled onto his back grabbing his chest. When he finally calmed down he rolled to face you again and wiped his eyes. “That is a bonus.” He said and started laughing again.

When he finally stopped, you quirked your eyebrow at him. “You done?”

“I think so.” He said, giggling. “So, you haven’t had an orgasm since me?”

This time you burst out laughing. “Oh my god, Tony!” You wheezed, shoving him. You clutched at his t-shirt in hysterics. “Okay… okay…” You panted. “A. How presumptuous are you to assume you even gave me an orgasm?”

You rolled out of bed and padded over to your wardrobe. “Oh, I gave you one,” Tony smirked.

“B,” You continued, pulling a cardboard box down from the cupboard, that was the size of a large shoebox. “Even if I couldn’t get myself off using my own hand - which I can - they make these things to help you in that department.” You dumped your collection of sex toys out on the bed. There’s a pink silicone rabbit. A small blue silicone g-spot vibrator with a curved shape. A steel bullet. And a nobbly, rainbow-colored, Pyrex dildo.

Tony looked up at you and raised an eyebrow. He picked up the rabbit and turned it over. “I think this means we’re married now. Got a kid. Haven’t had sex in over ten years. Seen your entire collection of sex toys. That’s being married right?”

“I hope the sex part isn’t true. Fuck. Given how long it’s been for me, I’d be fucking you every chance I got.” You said. You packed the toys away and put the box back where it came from. Before you got back into bed you switched off the light.

This time you lay with your head in the crook of his arm and he wrapped his arms around you. “So then…” He said.

“I think so. I’m so scared. But being scared isn’t enough to not try this. And if I have to watch you date someone else, it’ll kill me.” You admitted. “But I want to do it properly. No skipping ahead because we want to be family. We date. If that works, we move in. Then… I don’t know… Maybe getting married. Maybe just moving in. But those things before the more kids bit. Not just suddenly living together and making more babies.”

“Smart,” Tony said.

You both just lay like that for a while. You draped yourself over Tony and nuzzled at his neck. “You should go. We should talk to Owen first. I don’t want him to just find us in bed together.”

Tony whined. “Really? You’re gonna make me go up to my penthouse?”

“I know, living in a penthouse sounds terrible. Your bed looks so uncomfortable.” You deadpanned.

Tony chuckled. “How about… and just hear me out here… instead… we just make out for a little while?”

You laughed softly and ran your hand over Tony’s cheek. “Yeah, okay.”

You both adjusted so you were lying face to face again. You rest your head on his bicep and start to kiss. Slowly at first. Your lips caressing his. You nipped at his bottom lip and his tongue pushed into your mouth. He still tasted like sugar, frosting, and Scotch and it mixed with the minty toothpaste taste in your mouth.

As you kissed your hands wandered. You slid them up under his t-shirt and ran your fingertips over his abs. They gently rise and fall over his muscles, which ripple under your touch.

One of his hands cupped your breast. He gently ran his thumb over your nipple and it hardened under his attention. He pinched it and you gasped and rolled your hips against him.

Your lips barely parted for more than enough time it took to take a breath. His beard tickled your nose and made your lips tingle. You were starting to feel slightly light-headed when Tony’s hand slipped into your pajama pants.

“Tony,” You gasped. “We aren’t having sex.”

“I know. I know.” He whispered, his hand pressing against your thigh. “I just want to get you off. Can I?”

You nodded and his mouth was on yours again. His fingers slipped between your folds. You squirmed against him as he stroked up and down your labia in broad strokes.

Tony mored his mouth to your ear. “Shh… just relax.” He whispered and softly kissed under your ear at your pulse point.

You willed yourself to relax. You rolled onto your back and spread your legs for him and took deep, steadying breaths. He kissed down your neck and along your jaw. As you started to relax, his fingers began to focus on your clit.

You moaned loudly and your body clenched up. Tony’s lips pressed against yours, smothering the sound. He pinched and rolled his fingers over your clit and you didn’t know if it’s just that he was particularly good at it, or if it was just that it had been so long since someone else had touched you like this, but you began to completely come apart.

You writhed under him, arching off the mattress. Sweat beaded on your body and it felt like your blood had been replaced with magma. It pumped through your veins and pooled in your abdomen. Tony pushed two fingers inside of you and it was like he pushed on a trigger, opening a gate inside of you. You came hard, crying out against his lips.

He slowly stroked you through your orgasm, and when you finally relaxed, your breath slowly came back under control, he took his hand away and grinned at you. “You’re loud.”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” You said and leaned up and pecked his lips.

“Okay, I guess I better go.” He said and peppered your face and neck with little kisses. “I’m a little excited. Are you excited?”

You looked up at him and cupped his jaw. “I am.”

“We’ll tell Owen in the morning?” He asked.

“Sounds like a plan.” You said and kissed him softly. “Night, Tones.”

“Night, honey.”

It was like he almost skipped out of the room. You snuggled down into you bed feeling really hopeful about the future for the first time in a long time.

// NEXT

#ironmanbingo3000 #tony stark #tony stark x reader #iron man #iron man fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #smut #that kid you knew

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amenomiko · 5 years ago

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What Being Like A Girl Feels Like

There's one time when the Warlords went to the future with MC, and every time he observed what the women in the future do, or what MC has been wearing on her face, or maybe even the curiosity when they talk about a women's multi task as a wife and also as a mother would be..

MC asked if he would like to try to be like a girl in a day. He be like "Meh / Nah / That's ridiculous." at first, but eventually he agreed when MC said "Oh well, it would be interesting to me on how you can adapt to it." with a shrug.

Nobunaga - Wearing a Bra

"Heh. Only this one piece of cloth? Alright."

"Wh- you want me to wear this plastic--"

He frowned to the fake silicon boobs that MC make him wear before giving him a bra to cover it.

"It's okay, just wear a mask or sunglasses, they will just think you are a-"

"Don't say it..!"

He were given a task to buy some groceries by MC. Hmph. Just a few walks away from her apartment, this would be easy........ It's closed.

Then he have no choice but to go to the town.... Closed.

Fine..! There's one near the station. He is glad he knows the way..! Closed.

"Why, me, the Demon King.. Has.. To.. Do.. This..!" He huffed with a gritting teeth as he take a breath when he walk up the stairs. Just how the women in this world manage to bring this heavy thing around their chest to wherever they go??

As he came back, he let out a long sigh of relief when MC helped him to unbuckle his bra and silicon breasts.

After that he hugged MC so tight, saying "I respect you." While massaged on the shoulder by her.

Hideyoshi - Heels

"Oh? Walk around this while I multitasking? Alright, this will be easy."

Not.

Everytime he move around, he will slip and fall. Slip and fall. Like a baby deer about to walk on its own legs.

He trembled whenever he move his feet, one after another.

"Hideyoshi..! I need help with this book- kya..!"

"M-MC?? WHAT'S WRONG??"

Despite trembling like crazy, he managed to move his feet into a quick pace. But halfway through, he is wheezing.

Just how those working women that he saw at the streets can run and walk fast in this shoes??

"M-MC..I'm.. Coming- OOF!"

He fell near the door, bumping on the door knob in the process.

Apparently MC let out a surprised sound just now because one of the books in her arms fell to the side when she tried to carry it.

That night, she dab a cold cloth on his swollen ankles with a giggle. "Hehehhe good job."

"...It's not a laughing matter ( T ʖ̯ T).." He rub his own swollen forehead.

Masamune - Being Pregnant

MC borrowed a fake silicone belly, a silicone that is specially made so it is heavy like the 3rd trimester pregnant belly.

"Oooh.. Not bad." He wink to himself in the mirror. "I look sexy. Heheh."

"Alright. Help me with the chores, I will be--"

"Go go, I'm doing just fine~~" He smirked to her, waving her off.

The moment she finally went on her way, he turned to the living room. "Okay..! Let's start. Oh."

He smiled to the pile of clothes on the floor. "I was very rough indeed 😏."

"Oof-"

He feels very heavy the moment he tried to bend down.

"Ehh okay, let's try that again-" He winced to the pain in his waist. "Oookay. How about this one- uh- wh- I can't see the floor-- gah this belly is too big-- wa--!!"

He rolled on the floor like a watermelon. "....Nevermind. I will just- oof! M-my waist..! Nnnh!" He growled in each and every movements. "Okay.. Phew..! I guess I will eat lunch first."

He didn't. It was hard for him to eat as the belly boink away his plate. Each time he move forward towards the table, the plate move further and further away from him.

Drip. Drip. "Ah crap..! The clothes outside--! Mmmf--" He tried to look down to wear the outdoor shoes but to no avail. "Dammit!!"

At the end of the day, MC find a gloomy Masamune in the middle of the room. She had to help with the chores, feed him dinner, and listen to his rants of how bad the day was to him.

"I swear I won't let you do all those stupid chores when you are pregnant!" He said it while hugging her tightly.

Ieyasu - Charcoal Mask

"I don't understand why you women wanted to ruin your skin with this.. thing that we usually use to make fire."

He sigh as he mumbled "You are more than beautiful, why do you even need this-- wh- I'm just-...!"

Both of them were blushing for a while, until Ieyasu covered it with cough. "S-so. I have to wear and wait til it dry and take it off? That's surprisingly easy. Fine."

As he applied the mask all over his face, (scrunching his face to how he look like), he wait and wait and grow impatient. "How many more I have to wait?" He grunts.

"Another 20 minutes, Ieyasu. Let it dry naturally alright? Don't force it to dry so much or else you will regret it later..!" She shouted from the other room, followed by a giggle.

Nope. 20 minutes? N O P E. He glances to the hand fan next to him and starts to fan his face. "Hmh what's there to regret for?" After a few minutes of fanning, he smirked to himself. "See, all is left is to peel-"

He couldn't take it off.

"....Shit..!"

"Ieyasu..? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine..! Don't bother!!" Shit! The moment he shouted back the pain gets stronger.

MC eyes widen when there is a lot of sound coming from the bathroom with "Shit shit shit shit fuck this shit shit shit..!!!"

She is worried. And so she stopped in whatever she was doing and quickly rush to the bathroom.

"Ieyasu, are you ok-"

He turned around with half of the mask peeled off his face "..what-"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAA OAO!!!!!! Ugh--"

She fainted.

"MC!!!!!"

That night, she has been sobbing into his arms with "I'm sorry uguu I'm sorry.. QAQ~~". "Shh.. It's fine.." Ieyasu has been patting her head to calm her down while the other rub the aloe vera gel on his red face.

Mitsunari - Lipstick

He observed on how MC applied her lipstick, asking "Wow.. What is this called?"

"This is a lipstick. Easier to wear than a lip gloss."

"What is a lip gloss?"

"This one. It's makes your lips glossier, except its like a lipstick in a liquid form. Want to try?"

"Okay!"

MC hand him a pink lip gloss and move to the other room after that.

So he apply and apply and apply. Layer after layer.

"Hehehe they won't realize because you are pretty like a girl..! Let's go, Mitsunari." MC grabbed his hand, didn't bother checking on his lips because to her it looks beautiful. Until...

She ordered a drink at the cafe they were having lunch for.

"Awww you look so gorgeous, Mitsunari--"

She sipped her tea and flabbergasted when Mitsunari revealed his PINK TEETH.

"PPPPPPPPUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!"

His face is showered with tea now.

MC? Choking on her meal and were rushed to the hospital in instant.

Not to mention the doctor nearly had a heart attack when Mitsunari explained to him what had happened.

Mitsuhide - Eyelashes and Mascara

"So you put the glue here.."

"Wait- Mitsuhide-- that is too mu-"

Too late, he already put it on. Upside down. He slowly opened his eyes and smirked to the mirror. "You women are so quirky. This looks... Unique."

"I would like to say thank you for choosing a kind adjectives, but you are the one who make it that way yourself."

"Now onward to this mascara thing-" He opened his eyes widely (nearly give heart attack to MC who mumbles 'That's not necessary actually... Hey did you hear me..?')

He accidentally poke his own eye. "Ahaha.. Ouch. That's kind of.. Hm." He tried again "Oh- hmhm not bad. This mascara thing is such a tease like you, little mouse."

"No, that is you."

Kenshin - Eyeliner

"Alright, I've done your left eye, now you do your right eye by yourself okay?"

"Hmh. From what I observe you doing it, this is easy."

Yeah right.

He applied, and applied. "This seems imbalance.." He applied again. "Hmm this is too short..." And "Hmm the 'wing' thing is too low--"

DING DONG! "Delivery~~!!"

"Oh, Kenshin~ could you get it for me? I'm cooking right now~"

"Hmh."

He put down the eyeliner, not bothering to check on himself in the mirror and so when he opened the door...

"Good morning, Sir, this is your packa- AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH \(OAO)/!!!!" The delivery man fainted, forming a foam from his mouth.

MC rushed to the door, "Kenshin? I heard a scream-- HOLY MOTHER OF EYELINERS--"

Imagine his left eye is pretty, while the other is like the make up of WWE Wrestler. Yeah, like that.

Shingen - Corset

"This is what you use to shape your body? My, my, goddess, I can always "shape" you whenever we have se--"

**SLAP**

"Anyway." He smirked to the corset in his hand (with a hand red mark on his cheek nonetheless), "Let's wear this shall we?"

"Oh correction. Who said that you are going to wear modern corset hmm (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)?"

"Eh ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)?"

Later.... Shingen were smacking on the sofa, wheezing from the massive tightness around his waist "M-MC..! H-HAVE MERCY-- *GASSSPPP*"

She pulled the rope so tight with a giggle. "Hehehehehe this is fun isn't it (ू•ᴗ•ू❁) ❤❤❤~~? This is how we became sexy, Shingen~ I bet you can't even have a bite of your dessert. I shall present this to Yukimura." (She made him wear the victorian era's corset)

"N-no..! Forgive me..! Anything but that..!"

Yukimura - Lace Panties

"Wh- wh- wh O//////O???"

"D-don't be ridiculous..! I won't wear this.. this.. Piece of... Transparent see through-- GAH!!"

"My you are not a virgin anymore but your way of saying is virgin, Yuki ( ͡°з ͡°)."

"Shut it stupid-- GAH DON'T STRIP ME! AAHHH STOP!!" He shrieked like a girl when MC stripped his pants and made him wear it.

"Okay, let's go..!"

He couldn't stop MC on time and now he is wriggling, blushing to the itchiness down there. "D-damn it.. MC..!!!"

"Yes?"

"Y-you.. Damn you..!"

"Psst. They will see the "shape" if you move a lot you know?"

"S-SHAPE?? WHAT SHAPE O//////O??"

"The line of the underwear, silly. Pffft. What do you think?"

"GUHHHH!!!" His face is hot and red like a red chilli pepper now.

Sasuke - Make up as a whole.

This ninja decided to surprise his lover with the most beautiful make up before she arrived back home.

But Boop!

Blackout.

Still, it's fine for him. He is used to the dark. He is confident he can do it.

First... Base primer.

And foundation. And Concealer. Blusher. Eyeshadow. Eyeliner. Fake lashes. And so on, and so on.

His ears perked to the sound of rattling keys. Thank god he's almost done.

The moment MC stepped into the apartment, the lights coincidentally turned on at the same time. "MC." He walk to welcome his lover excitedly to show his "make up".

"Ah, thank god the light is on agaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH \(QAQ)/ WHY IS THERE 'IT CLOWN' IN HERE?? SASUKE-- SASUKE HELP!!!!!"

"M-MC it was me--"

"KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

She run out from the door, screaming, waking up the neigbors and that evening Sasuke nearly get caught by the police.

The very next week, he moved out.

#ikemen sengoku #ikemen sengoku nobunaga #ikemen sengoku imagines #ikemen sengoku hideyoshi #ikemen sengoku masamune #ikemen sengoku Mitsuhide #ikemen sengoku mitsunari #ikemen sengoku ieyasu #ikemen sengoku kenshin #ikemen sengoku shingen #ikemen sengoku yukimura #ikemen sengoku sasuke #ikesen

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endofjunee · 6 years ago

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📚 Drunk in Love (last thing I remember) by @lovehoperomance He’s stumbling to the left of the street, hopeful that it’s in the direction of his flat, when he sees it. A food truck. Lit up in gold. It's as if God has taken a giant highlighter and drawn a halo around it. Okay, so it might be the streetlight shining down on it and the yellow light emanating from within...but Louis will still claim godly intervention if anyone asks.

He weaves across the pavement, shivering in what he now realises is a very brisk London evening, coated in fog.

“Hello. Hi.” Louis steps in front of the entire line, waving an aimless hand at the man in the truck who looks completely bewildered by Louis’ antics. The man is littered in tattoos and wearing a green headscarf that matches the sea foam of his eyes. “Do you have any fried chicken? Or a drink? Oh, oh, do you have chips? Oh please tell me you have chips?”

The man’s face, which Louis faintly registers is quite angular, shifts from bewilderment into a stunning, slightly crooked smile.

Or, the one where Louis wakes up, naked, in a stranger's bed and has no idea how he got there. Maybe it's foul play. Maybe it's just the kindness of a handsome stranger amused by his drunken antics. 🌹 Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy by @chloehl10 Harry whimpered as Louis pushed himself up onto his tiptoes, grazing his ear lobe with his lips. His breath tickled Harry’s ears, and Harry swallowed, already anticipating what Louis was about to say.

“I’d like to ride you, cowboy…”

Or, Harry's a barman at Flaming Saddles, a country and western themed gay bar.

Louis’ a customer who’d like to see if the tall barman is as good on the ropes as everyone says he is...

📚 And That’s The Tea by @2tiedships2 I’d like an Earl Grey with milk and sugar, please.

Louis had the phrase memorized, even though it had disappeared off its place on his upper arm over thirteen years ago now.

At fourteen he didn’t understand. Soulmarks don’t just disappear. Not unless…

Unless one of them dies.

Or, the one where Louis loses his soulmate before even getting the chance to meet them, and he is in no way prepared for the kind of distraction his new friend Harry proves to be. 🌹 I’ll Fly Away by @vintage-harry “Harold,” Louis spoke, but not too loud. He didn’t want to startle the cat pile. “Louis? What are you doing home?” Harry greeted him with a toothy smile. “Why are there three cats?” Louis pointed at the third one. “That’s Hail. He’s so sweet.” Louis blinked and shook his head slightly. “Why is he on the sofa, in the house, on the cats?” “He lives here now,” Harry stated as if Louis should already be aware of this. He was not aware of this news until now. “Since when?” He poked the cat in the head, his tiny black curtained head with white ears popped up. He mewed softly before blinking a few times. Louis thinks he looked offended. He looked at Harry expectantly. Harry looked fond. “For three days now.” He smiled at Louis. It reminded him of Dori smiling at Marlin in Finding Nemo.

Or, Louis and Harry live in a small town in Texas of just over 500 people and Harry seems to be growing cats in his garden. Love and fluff. 📚 Baby Honey 2.0 by @vintage-harry A few weeks passed by and Louis had spent a large portion of his time with incognito mode on as he Googled ways to hint at pregnancies. He came up with a few ideas but was impatient and felt uncreative at any idea. The most he read about was for online announcements. Louis decided one day while he was at Niall’s with two kittens laying on his stomach to take a photo and post it. He knew Harry would see it pretty quickly as he had Louis’ Instagram notifications on.

Louis held his phone out and took a few shots of the sleeping kittens on his stomach, thumbed through them and found the one he liked best and posted it with the caption, “Three little kittens” he hit post and waited. It didn’t take long, ten minutes later Harry left a comment asking where the third kitten was. Louis rolled his eyes and deleted the photo.

Or, Louis is pregnant this time and tries to find creative ways to hint about it to Harry. Only it doesn’t go as planned. 🌹 fuck fake friends by @artxghoul It’s better to just stay away. So he does. He tries his very best to. It’s just weird when you can’t be happy for someone. When you can’t encourage their achievements anymore, because they did it alone or with someone else, when it was supposed to be with you. Harry was supposed to always be with Louis.

Or, if you love someone, set them free. if they don't come back, text them when you're drunk. 📚 The Daddiest Place on Earth by @chloehl10 dilfs_atdisneyworld: Ooh he's popular. Is it me or has it got hot in here? #dilf #hothothot #gimme

louist91: What the hell? Why the fuck am I on a DILFs page again?"

dilfs_atdisneyworld: louist91, Hello! You're on here because you're a DILF. A dad I'd like to f...😜

Louist91: dilfs_atdisneyworld Oh my god. Fuck off mate.

Or, Louis. Harry. Instagram. A whole lot of confusion and a whole lot of laughs... 🌹 Harry Poppins by @jacaranda-bloom When Louis’ best friends pass away he finds himself with an instant family. Maddie and Thomas are wonderful children but take an immediate dislike to every nanny that sets foot inside their house. After nanny number six is summarily dismissed Louis is at his wit’s end, that is until an unusual man arrives on their doorstep. Harry Styles is like nothing any of them have ever encountered before, and perhaps, exactly what they’ve been looking for all along. 📚 tonight’s not over (come over and stay) by @microlouis Zayn doesn’t say anything for a moment, pausing and worrying at his bottom lip. Finally, he asks, “Have you heard that Cox guy is coming out with a new song?” Louis freezes, fingers hovering over his keyboard where they had been typing his password.

“No, I hadn’t,” Louis says truthfully. “Where did you hear that?” “Tell anyone this and I’ll kill you, but I’d consider myself a big fan,” Zayn says. His face doesn’t change in expression, completely serious as he admits this to Louis. “Big fan? Like run a blog and everything?” Or, harry is a famous singer and louis is a student who just wants to write his novel. 🌹 Fiction Romance by @rougeandtonic Harry has a type.

He likes older, sophisticated, mature men. Well-educated men. Men with life experience and passion for arts and social causes. Men who are established in their careers, who've sorted their lives out.

Niall knows this.

And so Harry can't understand why he's sat here opposite Louis Tomlinson.

Or, a punk Louis/uni Harry blind date AU. 📚 Hope when the moment comes, you’ll say I did it all by SilverShadow1 Standing in front of them with an amused smile was an — there really was no other suitable word to describe him — angelic creature. Soft brown hair that was shaved on the sides and bright blue eyes that Harry had only seen in photos of the ocean; the lad was probably close in age to himself, yet seemed entirely boyish.

“Dad, put me down!” demanded Jess with no malice in her voice. Harry looked down in surprise, forgetting that she was in his right arm. “Oops,” he said, flushing. That caused the other lad to laugh. “Hi,” said the man at the door.

Or, the one where Louis is a piano teacher and Harry and his daughter are goners for him. 🌹 Graphic design is my passion by @kingsofeverything Graphic design student Louis Tomlinson has exams to study for and final art projects to complete, if it would stop raining long enough for him to walk across campus. Luckily Harry Styles has an umbrella, and he’s perfectly willing to share.

Louis doesn’t plan to get his heart broken and he doesn’t plan to make almost a hundred silicone dildos. One of these things definitely happens. 📚 i gotta get better! by @dystopianharry Harry’s sex life has been pretty nonexistent since he broke up with his last non-soulmate boyfriend. after a chance encounter with someone online, he decides to enlist them to help him out. no strings attached, obviously.

Or, soulmates can feel each others’ pain and harry has some kinks he wants to explore. 🌹 Dreaming of You by @mizzwilde The Begrudging Starbucks AU.

The world is winter and steamed milk and creamy espresso shots. The world is a never ending queue. The world is a Starbucks logo and a pink-cheeked smile from Niall and a bored scowl from Zayn and the world is Louis watching his best mate, Liam, fall in love with their newest customer, Harry. Who may or may not be in love with Louis. The world is cruel. 📚 Through a Mirror Dimly by @londonfoginacup Louis Tomlinson, in his third year at university, does not expect nor want the roommate that is being assigned to his room.

Harry Styles, in his first year at university, has just been kicked out of one dorm and doesn't want to deal with yet another snobby, rich roommate.

They don't get along, and that's just how it is, until circumstances force them to reevaluate. 🌹 Raise a Glass to the Four of Us by @2tiedships2 Louis stared at his luggage.

Well. Apparently not his luggage, because the clothing he was looking at currently was a: worth more than everything he currently possessed, b: not his size at all, and c: more suited for a fancy ass lawyer than a holiday in NYC with his best mates.

“Ooh, nice loafers,” Niall said as he pulled one out of the suitcase. “I love the rainbows.”

“Okay,” Liam began. “What do you want to do first? Eat, shop for new clothes, or spend hours on the phone with the airline?”

Louis continued to stare at the luggage. 📚 His and Mine by @kissyboystyles Harry is adopted by a wealthy family, soon to be cleared of his connection to his soulmate without discussion on his twentieth birthday-- a gruesome rite of passage. For the past eight years, Harry has been staring at one name: Louis. But what happens now that his heart starts fluttering for a stranger, helping him remain strong at his weakest points? Harry feels he should be cautious; what kind of person goes by the name Tomlinson anyway…

Or, Harry legally isn't supposed to meet his soulmate-- he's rendered physically unable to recognize him even if he did-- but yet, of course, he does. 🌹 Drop to Hold You by @becomeawendybird After the end of the Second Wizarding War and the ensuing diplomacy between Muggles and the Wizarding world, the long-defunct Merlin College at Oxford opened it's doors again.

The ultra-competitive programs at Merlin require a rigorous application process. None more than the Auror training program. Louis finally manages to get in with his best friend Liam after a few false starts, only to be faced with the most beautiful, distracting man he could ever imagine. 📚 The Lone Hydrangea by @lightwoodsmagic “Thank you again,” he smiled at Harry as he picked up the arrangement and headed towards the door, and Harry quickly realised he didn’t know the man’s name. “I – wait! Sorry, I just...what’s your name?” At the man’s eyebrow raise, Harry stumbled over his words, “It’s just, if you’re coming back, I thought I should…know.” As the man looked at Harry, his smile only grew, and Harry’s heart thumped in his chest. “My name’s Louis. Louis Tomlinson, and it was so lovely to meet you,” he shot one final grin in Harry’s direction, “I’ll see you next week, Harry.” And then he was gone. “It was lovely to meet you too,” Harry whispered to the empty shop, putting his head on the counter, “Louis”.

Or, the post Hogwarts AU where Harry's a florist, Louis' a muggle who edits fantasy books, and they both have no say in how quickly they fall for each other. 🌹 A Little Bit Like Fate by @28shadesofpink “So,” Harry starts. “Since I heard you and your friend are not getting married, uhm... Would it be appropriate to ask you to stay for the kiss-in?” “Really?” Louis says, light and playful. “And who would I be kissing?” He looks up and offers a sweet smile, perfectly innocent. “Oh, I don’t know.” Harry is playing along, keeping his tone airy, but he takes a step forward and smirks. “With those cheekbones, I think you could kiss whoever you wanted.”

Or, Louis stumbles upon a kiss-in protest for LGBTQ rights, and he meets Harry. They click. It feels a little bit like fate. 📚 come together by @bottomlinsons Harry and Louis slept together three weeks ago, and haven’t talked.

Their coming group project is gonna change that. 🌹 Seeing Blind by @that-idiot-overthere Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”

Or, the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities. 📚 Sweet as Cherry Wine by @harrieberrie Broken hearts are healed by the luck of the Irish

Or, Louis and Niall are a mess, Niall’s daughter has a hopeless crush, and Harry is hopelessly clueless 🌹 at the end of my rope by @saffona "Baby?” Harry mumbles, voice laced with sleep and a shiver goes through Louis at hearing the term. He hasn’t called him that in so long, in that voice and, clearly, even Louis’ body fucking misses it.

“Did you cheat on me?” Louis finds himself asking. If he’s being honest it’s more so he can see Harry’s reaction, than a genuine question, but what has he got to lose? Sure enough, Harry’s face changes from sleepy to the most incredulous look Louis’ ever seen on him. He actually looks terrified, all wide eyes, mouth gaping like he can’t believe Louis would even assume that and Louis would laugh at it, but he’s so done with the way Harry’s been acting, he just wants to know what the hell’s going on.

Or, the one where they go to Crete and Harry is definitely hiding something. 📚 truth, justice, and the gay way by @hattalove Liam needs a costume. Louis needs a best best friend award, a holiday, and to get a grip.

(Harry’s just in the right place at the right time.) 🌹 Hello My Name Is Harry by @a-brighter-yellow Louis’s 20-year high school reunion takes a turn when a celebrity classmate – who also happens to be Louis’s long unrequited crush – unexpectedly shows up.

A famous/not-famous AU inspired by Chris Evans.

[Previous Monthly Recs]

#my fic rec #monthly recs #larry fic rec #hl fic rec #fic rec #to read #my post

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boymeetsweevil · 6 years ago

Text

me, you, and this thing we have between us (NSFW)

Grouping: Reader x Jimin

Word Count: ~3.7k

Warnings: everything is graphic and gross lmao, blowjobs (face f*cking), boob job (not the one w/ silicon inserts), cunnilingus, dom!jimin if u squint, cumplay if u squint again, dirty talk/degrading language, penetrative sex (doggy style), unprotected sex, PREGNANCY KINK that’s a big one

Summary: You’re pregnant and jimin is...happy about it

The doctors had prepped both you and Jimin in regard to the way your hormones would change now that you were expecting. Luckily for the both of you, the pregnancy had been fairly smooth for the first few months. The morning sickness was mild and the mood swings had been light, so he was very startled to wake up one Saturday morning and find you crying in your shoe closet like the world was ending.

“What? What’s the matter? Is it the baby?” He grabbed you gently by the elbow to pull you out of the slumped position on the floor.

“No,” you sniffed wetly, “God, no.”

“So, what’s the matter?”

“Look at me, Jimin. What do you notice?” He hesitated a bit, looking you over slowly. He thought he knew what you were getting at, so he tried to answer honestly.

“You look like you got bigger.”

“Exactly. I look like a fucking hot air balloon!”

You stood up with dead eyes and gave a little twirl to showcase the 8th piece meal outfit you failed at putting together. You were wearing a bright yellow tube top that was straining to contain your, as of recently, large breasts. The fabric didn’t even make it to the skin of your rounded belly though it still managed to highlight your growing abdomen. In your haste to change in and out of clothing, your bottom half was only adorned with a simple pair of black underwear that was giving you a severe wedgie. On your left foot was one of your favorite suede pumps. Jimin’s eye were wide after taking in your frazzled state only moments after waking up to the sound of your wailing and you took his silence as a sign that you should continue.

“Nothing fits me, at all. The weather is finally changing and I have no spring clothing. I can’t even get my feet into these shoes because they’re so fucking bloated. This is a disaster.” You laughed darkly, nodding subtly towards him, “I bet this is really killing your morning wood right now.”

Jimin ran a hand through his sleep-wild hair before regrouping. He walked up to you and cupped your face in both his warm hands. The soft way he wiped at your teary eyes had you crying again almost immediately, complete with sobs that wracked your whole body.

After he replaced the one high heel with a pair of his sports slippers, he took you by the hand to the kitchen and left you to cry while he cooked some plain white rice because it had been your favorite breakfast for the past 6 months. You continued to cry while he chopped fruits and greens for a smoothie to boost your iron and made sure to double the amount of protein powder he added so he could have some too. He waited until you’ve calmed down a bit and made progress on your food before speaking.

“I still think you’re beautiful. You know that, right?”

“You’re just saying that because you feel bad for getting turned off by me.” If he didn’t know you as well as he did, he would have missed the shy way you stuffed rice in your mouth.

“That’s not true. If it was, I could have just not said anything at all just now.”

“That’s true,” you sniffed, “But then you’d be an ass for just letting your pregnant wife cry on you like that without any support.”

“The truth is,” he hesitated and you put your spoon down to listen to his confession, “I really don’t have any problems with how you look right now. Not that it would really matter though, because you’re bringing my child into this world. But you’re…you’re radiant.”

“Oh. You mean the pregnancy glow,” you said, slightly disappointed, “It’s the prenatal vitamins. You could probably take them too if you wanted.”

“No, I mean you’re really sexy like this,” his voice was quiet, but he continued. “You were sexy before, don’t get me wrong. But now you’re softer and very…feminine. And you, uh, taste different. You taste more concentrated and warmer.” He ducked his head and grinned rakishly. “It’s like you’re oozing the sun. It’s in your skin and your eyes and your—I don’t know. Its like the sun is coming out of you from everywhere.”

When he looked up again your eyes were shining and he worried for a second that you were going to cry again at how much of a creep he was revealing himself to be, but instead you pushed your plate away and kissed him hard. He was not expecting you to pounce on him so suddenly, but he braced himself and took your weight with a strong arm wrapping around your waist. You kissed him feverishly. Nipping at his full bottom lip had him groaning just long enough for you to lick into his mouth. He breathed harshly through his nose as you sucked lightly on his tongue. Soon he was maneuvering you over to the couch. You didn’t take much notice and instead opted for smoothing your hands over his bare arms and the sides of his torso until your hands tangled in his hair.

“Jimin, I want you right now.”

“Is that okay? For the baby, I mean?” He pulled back a bit to try and make hazy eye contact with you.

“Of course, it is. The doctor even said so at the last appointment.”

You made quick work of the loose shorts he was wearing, sliding them down his legs and stroking the skin of his toned thighs.

“Sit down,” you said before somewhat slowly crouching between his knees. He stopped you midway to lay down some couch cushions for you to sit on, knowing that you wouldn’t listen if he told you not to blow him at this point.

You were happy that he happened to be going commando and you wouldn’t have to deal with any troublesome underwear. His erection was standing tall for you, smearing pre-cum on his lower stomach. Even though you were quite familiar with Jimin’s dick, the pretty gradient between the reddened tip and the tan skin, the veins running along the underside, the way his girth filled your hand as you grasped—it all had your mouth watering. You wasted no time in teasing him with kitten licks to the head then took as much as you could right off the bat. He tossed his head back and moaned, exposing the sharp angle of his jawline and the strong line of his throat. You hummed at the sight and moved the hand you weren’t using to jerk the rest of him up along his chest to grab a bicep. He got the hint and moved to place a hand at the back of your neck like you wanted him to. His hand felt grounding against you and the sweet way his thumb swept over the skin there had you wanting to spoil him. You decided that you didn’t need your voice anytime soon and slid down another inch, taking breaths when you could to relax your throat until you’d taken nearly all of him. When you swallowed around him you could feel him throb in your throat and the feeling sent a trickle of arousal down the insides of your thighs.

“Shit,” he repositioned his palm to lay over the crown of your head to push you down further. “You want me to fuck your face, baby? You want me to stuff that pretty mouth of yours with my dick?”

When you gave an affirmative hum he began to cant his hips up so his tip slid further back with each thrust. Soon you were gagging around him, knowing that the sound would make him fuck your face harder. He took your head in both hands and lifted you off so you could catch your breath only to bring you back down, again and again, until your eyes were watering and saliva was dripping down your chin and landing on your thighs. You started to touch yourself to the slick sounds of him fucking your face and moaned around him. The vibrations had him moaning then pulling you off him. You wiped your mouth with a quick pass of your arm and looked up at him curiously.

“Were we going too fast?” Your voice was hoarse in a way that had makes him ache.

“Raise your arms for me.”

You obeyed and he pulled your tube top off to free your breasts. They were a bit tender, so the drag of the fabric in addition to sucking him off made your nipples harden. He held one in the palm of his hand, testing the weight and rolling a nipple with his thumb. You whined a little and arched you back. He bent forward so his other hand could mirror his ministrations on the other breast. When he started kneading them in earnest, you gave a gravelly moan and reached out to brace yourself on the couch cushion, leaning forward.

“Your tits look amazing, all full of milk. Are they sensitive?”

You choked out a ‘yes’ and pushed into his grip further. He took advantage of the moment and gave one sharp tweak to the peak of your breast. There was just enough pain mixed in with the pleasure to have you rubbing your thighs together to create some friction. From where you were practically spilled over in his lap, you could see his length throbbing lightly to the rhythm of his pulse. Suddenly you had an idea.

“Jimin.”

“Yeah,” he answered, his eyes still glued to his hands rolling and squeezing your chest.

“You wanna fuck them?”

His head snapped up immediately and he nodded, scooting his hips forward and spreading his legs more so you could maneuver yourself better into his lap. Leaning forward, you nestled his dick between your breasts before using your hands to push them together. Jimin moaned at the image and fell back softly against the back of the couch. You used spit and the steady stream of pre-cum dribbling from his tip to create a silken glide for him. The skin of your breasts was smooth and warm and slick enough that he knew right away he wouldn’t last long. His thrusts became messy after a few minutes and you began to help him along. Soon his orgasm hit and he spurted thick pearly streams over the valley of your breasts, the column of your throat, and even the point of your chin. You sat back while he caught his breath, happy to watch the flexing of his abs as the last few aftershocks ran through him. When he opened his eyes, he groaned at the sight of you. Your breasts were shining with his cooling arousal, rising and falling quietly over the expanse of your round belly, and you had a soft smile on your face. All this made his dick twitch valiantly at the idea of a second round.

“Come here.” he opened his arms so you could crawl up and straddle his lap.

You only managed to wrap your arms around his neck loosely after sitting before he attacked you with his mouth. One of the most surprising things about Jimin is his lack of squeamishness when it comes to tasting himself on you. You’d dated guys before him who refused to even kiss you after you blew them, though they had no qualms about kissing you after they’d eaten you out. Jimin was happy to clean you up with his tongue. He lapped broad, tickling stripes against your collarbone. It felt nice, if you were being quite honest and you basked in the feeling for a moment with your eyes closed, letting your own libido simmer down briefly.

The tranquil feeling didn’t last long. He cupped one of your breasts to bring it closer to his mouth and the feeling of his hot tongue swirling around your nipple to collect his cum before full on sucking sent what felt like an electric shock through your clit. He looked up at you through dark lashes and equally dark and sweaty bangs and scraped his teeth against the bud. You whined and ground your hips down on him, trying to get his tip to bump up against your swollen apex. The wetness between your thighs slowly got him hardening under you and he groaned before switching sides to attend to the other breast.

“Jimin,” you chuckled, “Are you feeling okay?” He let your nipple fall out of his mouth, but replaced it quickly with his fingers so he could continue to roll it.

“I’ll be honest. I’ve been wanting to do this since we found out you were pregnant.”

“Do--oh god--what?”

“This. Suckle on your tits, get you all swollen and sensitive. Maybe get you to leak a little bit. Have you soiling yourself just for me. God, you’re so fucking sexy like this.” He dove back in, practically burying his face in your cleavage.

You bucked against the wet heat of his mouth. Acute tendrils of pleasure built up quickly in your groin until you were screaming at the intensity of the pleasure. You wrapped yourself around him tighter and bit down on the juncture of his neck and shoulder. He grunted in response before giving you a sharp swat to your bottom. It was a different feeling than any of your other orgasms and you had to wonder if it was because this was the first time you had cum from Jimin playing with you like this.

You loosened your grip around his shoulders so you could pull back and look at him. He smiled up at you softly and rubbed your stomach.

“How are you feeling?”

His voice was deep like it always was after he came. Sex with Jimin was always good, even when it was over because he walked around looking like a constant reminder of the sex for the rest of the day. His hair looked almost artfully disheveled and his lips were swollen from all the use. The best part was that he looked smug, happy with the fact that he got you to cum without touching your cunt. He looked thoroughly fucked, but you didn’t feel thoroughly fucked because you hadn’t been. And while the orgasm you just had was nice, you didn’t quite feel sated. You slowly climbed out of his lap and over him to the other side of the couch, back facing him. A slightly chilly sensation reminded you that your panties were still on and that they were completely drenched in your arousal. You pulled them off, making sure to present your dripping center to him as you got on all fours.

“I still need you,” you whispered.

From the way the couch suddenly dipped you could tell he was moving to quickly to attend to you. You wiggled your hips for emphasis. Not aware of the fact that he wasn’t quite hard enough, you were surprised when you felt the blunt end of his tongue nudging at your entrance. Not that you were complaining. Jimin had a thing about eating you out from the back. There was something about it that he loved so much more when it was like this instead of when you were on your back. He took his time licking you clean with a flattened tongue, making sure to apply pressure to rub at your clit each time, but that only made you messier. The noises he was making were filthy and sounded as though he was trying to drink you up.

“You smell good,” his voice shook, “So rich and sweet. Mmm, I wish I could live off of this.”

“Me too,” you gasped, arching your spine so you could grind back on his tongue. The tip of his nose slid against your lower lips for a moment.

“Come here, stop fidgeting away.”

His hands splayed out on either side of your hips and he dug his fingers in to pull you closer. His tongue danced around your entrance once more before he wriggled it in as far as he could get it. When you clenched around him, he groaned and added two fingers so you could feel a little fuller. Time seemed to stand still and your bones began to feel like jelly as he stuffed you full with another finger while sucking on your clit with a mind-blowing pressure. Once it seemed like you were on the verge of coming you repositioned yourself so your head was somewhat pillowed on your folded arms. He crooked his fingers to massage the area that he knew would make you sob into the upholstery. Your orgasm ripped through you, completely different from the last one, with its molten heat surging from your center to all your extremities and making you curl your toes. Jimin pulled back and licked his lips before sucking his fingers clean. He used his clean hand to smooth over the base of your spine before wrapping his arm around and underneath you to pull your back into position.

He grabbed himself and gave his erection a few tugs to make sure he was at peak hardness before going to coat himself in your juices. You were still dripping with a combination of spit and arousal so he slipped a little as lined himself up, but the incredible way he slid in to the hilt made both of you groan; you from sensitivity and him from the lush and tight, wet hold you had on him. His hips undulated forward, gently at first, to let you adjust. But the feeling became addictive quickly and soon you were asking him with a breathy voice to go deeper, harder. He wrapped his arm more firmly around your distended middle and laid a possessive hand on your stomach to anchor himself and then really fucked you. Hard.

“You look so good like this, on your hands and knees like somebody’s bitch.”

The dirty talk wasn’t unheard of, but it was rare and it wasn’t usually this intense. But you were moaning all the same. He spanked you twice with his free hand when you didn’t say anything. “Whose bitch are you, hmm?”

“I’m your bitch. Oh my god, harder please.”

“That’s right. Looks like you want to get fucked rough like a bitch too.” His hand came back to wrap around your hip with near bruising force to pull you back onto him with a harsh and sinuous snap. “Fuck. This is clearly a pattern for you. You’re already pregnant because you’re such a big cum-slut, aren’t you?” He tugged on your chin so you were forced to crane your neck to look at him.

“Yes. I always wanted you to fill me up with your cum. Even now”

“Yeah, you do. Because you’re fucking dirty. I bet you love to feel my cum run down your thighs when I pull out.”

“I-it feels so good. I get wet again when I feel it slide out. Shit. Jimin, baby I’m close.”

“So am I.”

The wet slaps of your ass against his hips echoed throughout the room. You moaned and tried to keep your back arched, but your body was starting to feel heavy and exhausted. Jimin must have sensed this because he used the arm that had been using to caress your belly to carefully pull you up. He sat back on his heels and maneuvered you back with him all while staying inside of you. The new position changed the angle in such a way that he was brushing against a certain spot that made you see stars. Your hand shot out to hold on to something, anything, as your breath left you in choked off gasps. The beginning of your third orgasm started like a pinprick in your groin and you were whining to him that you didn’t think you could take it.

“Wait, Jimin, I can’t. It’s too much, I—”

His hand snuck down as he fucked up into you and fumbled to find your swollen clit. His fingers were slick and clumsy, but the figure eights they drew over you threw you over the edge. Your vision clouded and your voice gave out, leaving you silent as you clenched around him like a vice. He cursed and gave up his sloppy thrusts in favor of pulling you close and humping up against you like he was in heat. Another thirty seconds passed and then he was spilling in you with a shout and collapsing to the side with you still in his arms. He waited a beat before pawing at your thigh and raising your leg. You tried to shuffle away because you were feeling too sore for whatever he had planned, but he locked you to him. With your leg up, he peered down to find your swollen center leaking a thick mixture of his and your cum. To stop it from coming out too soon he reached out and scooped it back in with his middle and ring finger. You let out a whine and struggled against his fingers because you were just too sensitive but a darker side of him liked how you squirmed at the way the pad of his finger caught against your clit.

“Be a good girl or I’ll wring a fourth one out of you,”

You stilled and bit your lip, swallowing moans as he fingered you for a while longer, knowing that it would start to feel good again soon. Right when your arm bent back to snake up around his neck, he pulled his fingers out and brought them to your lips. You sighed at the missed opportunity and took his fingers into you mouth. The deliberately slow and overly-thorough licks you gave were clearly your own form of punishment for teasing you, but now you were even. With his now free hand, he drew slow designs over your torso until you both dozed off.

You woke up 10 minutes later, according to the clock on the wall, and nudged Jimin awake. He was quick to regain his bearings and waddled to the bathroom to get a washcloth for you both, cringing at the feeling of dried cum the whole time. After you washed up, he helped you up the stairs and you sat on the edge of the tub while the water filled it. Jimin leaned against the counter across from you. He was in awe of the way your skin seemed to glow from within. This time when you caught him staring, he held your gaze.

“So how come you waited so long to let me know you had a pregnancy kink?”

Jimin’s eye widened with embarrassment. He thought he’d been keeping it a secret until today.

“How did you know?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it was the way you kept sniffing my maternity panties when you didn’t think I was looking while you were ‘helping me do the laundry’. Or maybe it was the way that you were always super eager to massage my breasts when they started to get sore. Or maybe it was the way you—“

“Ok, I get it. I’m not subtle.”

“You’re really not,” you chuckled. He watched you dip a hand into the bath water when it started to get high. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“I guess I just didn’t want you to think that was the reason why I wanted to have a baby with you in the first place. I want this baby because it’s with you. Even if we had adopted, I would have been excited. It’s just a plus that you’re pregnant and I…like pregnant women. Is that weird?”

He looks up at you with genuine concern in his eyes and it’s so cute that you have to pull him into a hug.

“Aw, baby, no it’s not weird,” you comb back his bangs. “You’re just a little kinky. It’s okay, everybody is.”

“What’s yours then?”

“Well, it’s not as…ecclectic as yours, it’s fairly traditional.” When you didn’t say anything else he looked up at you with a raised eyebrow. “I just, uh, really want you to dom me.” He gave you a slow, dark smile.

“I can do that.”

#btssmutclub #bangtan bookclub #95line.net #bttnetwork #btswriters #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bangtan fanfic #bangtan scenarios #bangtan imagines #jimin fanfic #jimin scenarios #jimin imagine #park jimin fanfic #park jimin scenarios #park jimin imagine

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maximows · 6 years ago

Text

Against the Odds - Chapter VII

Love you, Wifey,

MASTERLIST (mobile) AO3

Warnings: pure smut (right at the end), lil’ ass play, fluff, alcohol, drinking, honestly the smut scene it like two pages long

After 3 hours in the make-up chair, I was 100% positive my hair was going to fall out within the next week. Since I was blonde now, I had agreed to have it dyed to Wanda’s hair colour instead of using a wig. We were filming mostly in Atlanta and it’s May, so I just didn’t want another layer of silicone on me. Instead, I had to go through hair-dying two times, because they didn’t get to colour right the first time.

Dodger was sleeping on the couch in the corner of my trailer with a fan running directly on him, like a true diva. Chris has been shooting since early in the morning and he was already gone when I woke up, so the dog spent pretty much all the time with me.

I haven’t been feeling very well for the last few days. It was my first shooting day, but I came here with Chris a couple of days ago, because he started shooting earlier and I had some screen tests. I’ve been having some mild headaches during the day, which could turn into nearly unbearable ones in the evening. I’ve also been experiencing some sickness and was barely able to keep anything down, unless it was something very light.

They didn’t want to blow-dry my hair, because it makes it fuzzy, so I got to have a lunch break. Dodger followed me out and we went to Downey’s trailer. Robert had invited me for lunch earlier and I couldn’t say no, because he always has the nicest food on set and it doesn’t make me sick as much.

“Oh, hello, my brown-haired beauty!” he exclaimed when I was nearing his village. “I thought you’d never come.”

I approached him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’m sorry, Rob. They messed up my hair and had to do it all over again.”

“It’s fine, nobody shows up on time anyway,” he said and laid out a water bowl for Dodger. Dodger is now the official set pet. “Help yourself, honey. We have everything you like.”

I grabbed a chicken salad and sat at the table with Robert. “Who’s coming today?” I asked, stuffing the delicious food into my mouth.

“Well, Mackie should be here soon, Evans and Scarlett when they finish their scenes, Emily, as in VanCamp,” he saw my face, when he mentioned the last person. “I know you don’t love her, but...”

“It’s not that I don’t love her, I just don’t like being around people who say that I stole their role, because I slept with someone.” I said and took a sip of my smoothie.

“You’ve gotten feistier since I last saw you.” Rob chucked. “Is everything alright?”

I scratched Dodger’s head and sighed. “You’re not only our main feeder, but also a therapist,” I smiled. “Chris and I are having a bit of a rough time, I think. We, um, we bought that house together, then went on the Age of Ultron press tour together, now we’re filming this and we also agreed to do another movie together... It just started to seem like we are just trapped together. Well, he says that.”

“How is that a problem? Evans can’t stop talking about you when you’re not around and suddenly he feels like he’s in a trap?” Rob asked. “Honestly, I’ve known the guy for a few years now and you’re his longest relationship, so maybe it’s just his odd way of getting used to commitment or something.”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I try not to think about it, to be honest. He was talking about engagement like 3 months ago, so I figured it’s not commitment he’s uncomfortable with. Anyway, he’s been taking care of me now that I’m sick.”

“Give him a break, love. He’s a Gemini.” Robert nodded and turned around to see Anthony walk in, still wearing his suit.

“I hate this city, I hate this city,” he kept repeating under his breath. “Do ya’ll have any ice I can eat?” He sat back on a chair and sighed loudly.

“Have any one of you had any scenes today?” he asked. “Because it’s fucking hot out in the sun and I wouldn’t let my worst enemy work in that heat.”

While Mackie was complaining, Emily joined us and sat on the other side of the table. Our relations have been very, very tense, since I found out what he has been talking about me. She was stupid enough to spread those things amongst people who knew me.

So. I oncereceived a text from Aaron. “I didn’t know you were already dating Chris at that party at his place in February”

It was just a casual text, he basically wanted to express his shock, when he found out we were appearently already a couple at that time.

“We weren’t. We met that night. Who told you that?” I replied.

“Emily VanCamp is working on a movie with Sam and she told her, and I quote ‘I actually almost got to work on a movie with your husband too, but Emilia Dawson started to magically date Chris Evans right when the auditions started and suddenly I lost the job.’”

What a fucking bitch, I thought. To be honest, I had no idea she auditioned for my role. I got an invitation to audition, but the process was incredibly fast and I figured they considered me to be the only candidate.

“Looks like she’s just mad I got “her" role. I hope she hasn’t been spreading those rumours around too much.”

That’s why we are not on speaking terms, but that’s alright, because her contract expires after Civil War. I’ve never been mean to anyone on set and, to be honest, I’m not mean towards her either, I just don’t speak to her. Chris was trying to talk me into solving this issue with her, but that’s not my thing to do. She should’ve just shut her mouth and thought this through.

I felt my headache kick in again, so I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. “I really hate this city.” I mumbled.

“Hey, maybe you want me to get you to an air-conditioned room?” Anthony asked. “I mean, the heat must be just making it much worse.”

“No, I’m fine. I just didn’t have to time to adjust here It’s probably just a late jet lag. I’ve never reacted well to heat.” I explained. “I already filmed one scene with Scarlett and I only have a few more takes to do today.”

Both Anthony and Robert sighed. “You’re just too stubborn.”

Because of the temperature, my hair dried out quickly, so the make-up team notified Joe and Anthony that I’m ready to work. They put me into a jacket and leather pants, which didn’t help my condition. I left Dodger with Robert, even though he didn’t really want to stay there without me. Probably because he was getting bad vibes from Emily.

Chris was waiting for me on the set. He had been doing some shots with Mackie, who was supposed to join us soon.

“Hi,” Chris wrapped his arm around me and kissed my head. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright,” I lied. “I’ll probably get used to the temperature in a few days and I’ll be completely fine.” I explained, pulling away from him.

“Em, you got up in the middle of the night to throw up and were covered in cold sweat when I woke up today,” he whispered. “I’m not saying it’s something serious, but you’re obviously not comfortable…”

I rolled my eyes at him and watched Joe walk up to us for instructions. We were supposed to do a few simple sequences of Wanda and Steve fighting together against Crossbones. I mainly had to do gestures with my hands and fingers, so it wasn’t very tiring. Sometimes I had to do some running and that was all. Chris kept checking on me, making sure I’m not about to faint. I wasn’t. We had a few retakes, but I was as fine as I could possibly be.

At some point, I had to wait for my turn to show up at the end of Steve and Crossbones’ fight. At first, I had to contain energy from a made up explosion with Chris and Frank in the shot. Then they left and I had a few single takes. I had been practicing my choreography a lot and my headache was helping a lot with showing actual struggle on my face.

“Okay, cut!” Anthony yelled and I felt my legs turn into jelly. I started to feel a little bit dizzy and weak. I fell down and that was the last thing I remembered.

I regained my consciousness feeling very cold air around my body. I still had a knot in my stomach and felt I could throw up any minute, but at least my head wasn’t exploding anymore. I was laying on a bed with something under my legs to keep them up.

I felt someone’s hand on my bare calf, one finger brushing over my skin. I opened my eyes slowly to see Chris sitting right next to me, doing something on his phone. There were I’ve bags around my head and stomach and I was only wearing my underwear.

“Chris?” I mumbled and he reacted instantly and came to my side along with a paramedic.

“Dawson, I’m going to kill you for ignoring your health later.” He said and I could hear concern in his voice and saw it on his face.

“Ms. Dawson, we figured it’s be better for you to rest in our medical area rather than transfer you to the hospital right away. We have some tests to run and we’ll probably hook you up to IV, but I do need to ask some questions.” The paramedic said, taking out a form.

I tried to lift myself up on my elbows, but they stopped me. “I wouldn’t do that, you’re still very weak, Miss.” She said, trying to hold me down on the bed.

She asked me a few questions about my allergies, medical history and symptoms. “How long have you been feeling unwell?”

“About 3 or 4 days probably.” I answered. “But I get a few days of headaches every year when it starts to get hot, it’s normal for me.”

“She also has been throwing up.” Chris interrupted. The woman glared at him, because he probably wasn’t supposed to get involved.

“Is that true, Ms. Dawson?” she asked me.

“Yes,” I nodded. “It happens during the night or in the morning.”

She raised her eyebrow and moved her gaze from me to Chris and to me again. “Are you on any kind of birth control?”

“Yes, I’m on pills.” I said, looking at Chris who seemed to be looking at the wall above me, because of the topic we were stepping into.

She reached to her bag and took out a pregnancy test. Why does she even have those? How often do actresses find out they’re pregnant on set?

“I need to be sure you’re not pregnant, if I’m going to put you on IV or other medication,” she explained. “Drink some water now, wait 30 minutes and then take the test.”

She left the room, leaving Chris and I silently staring at the box. He finally moved and brought me a glass of water. “It’s not possible, is it?” he asked quietly. I knew it wasn’t possible. I knew I wasn’t pregnant. I took my pills every day, 11 o’clock on the dot.

“I barely eat or drink during the day, so when I have a snack in the evening…”

“You what?” he raised his voice. “Emilia, I carried you here and I realised that you lost weight, but I didn’t know you haven’t been eating. I assumed it was because you couldn’t keep anything down.”

“Well, I couldn’t keep anything down, so I only are maybe one meal a day,” I explained. “And I know it sounds fucking stupid, but…”

“No buts!” Chris snapped “I know we haven’t been talking much lately, but I can’t believe you had to lose consciousness for almost an hour to realise that you might need a doctor. I thought that, if you never said anything maybe it wasn’t that bad.”

I sat up slowly and reached out for Chris’ hand. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “We’ve been busy here and I genuinely thought it was just heat and some bad food combined.”

He looked down at me and pulled me against him. “Don’t ever do that again, alright?” he whispered against my head. “Em, I was so scared when you collapsed. This last hour…”

“I’m better now.” I said. “I’ll take the test and she’ll give me some meds. Tomorrow we start filming indoors, so I’ll be ok.”

Chris’ eyes wandered off to look at the test. “About the test…”

“Chris, I’m not pregnant.” I stated quickly, making sure he doesn’t get his hopes up.

He chuckled. “I know, I’m not going to bring up kids until you say you’re ready.” He clarified. “I just meant to ask if it was even possible, because the morning sicknesses checked out.”

We waited a little bit more and I went to the bathroom to take the test. I set it on the sink and went back to Chris, who was texting again. “I called your mom, by the way.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I sighed. “I’m surprised she hasn’t called me yet.”

“Well, your phone’s not here, so I’ll just text her that everything’s alright and you’ll call her later.” Chris said. “By the way, I was supposed to yell at you for ignoring your health issues.”

“I get it, I’m stupid.” I snuggled into his side. “Why haven’t you been talking to me, Chris?”

Chris sighed and, even though I couldn’t see his face, I knew his mouth was slightly open and he was thinking of things to say. “You know how we signed up for over a year of working together, right?” he started and I nodded. “Well, I always thought that people in a relationship should, you know, have their own things and I thought that we would get tired of each other while living and working together.”

Looking at the fact, that not so long ago he was talking about engagement, I was really surprised by what he was worried about. “Chris, how far have you gone with your previous girlfriends? Because, if moving in together is overwhelming for you, then I can’t imagine what a wedding would feel like.”

Luckily for Chris, the paramedic came back with a doctor and he didn’t have to respond right now. They checked the test, and because it came out negative, they put me on IV for a while. It turned out that I was dehydrated (not surprising) and suffered from a light heat stroke and had a food poisoning.

I got some meds to help tone down my symptoms and then I was released. Chris and I drove back to our rented house. He then left to walk Dodger out and I sat on the sofa and phoned my Mum.

“Chris told me that you’ve been unwell for some time and did nothing about it, Emilia.” She complained. “He’s such a good guy.”

My mum talking about how she feels when she can’t be with me in moments like that and how dad reacted when she told him. I was mad about that, because I didn’t see it as such a huge thing.

Chris came back and my mum heard that, because she was on speaker. “Hello, Christopher! Thank you so much for letting me know! I would’ve have to find out from the press, if it wasn’t for you.”

I rolled my eyes at her words as Chris approached me and sat on the edge of the sofa where I was lying. “It’s alright, Mrs. Dawson. I just wish Em would take care of herself more.” He said, which made my jaw drop.

“Says the guy who smells like an ashtray.” I mumbled. “Anyway, Mum, did dad also start swooning at the mention of Chris when you told him how he took care of me today?” I asked sarcastically, pushing Chris away from me.

“No, I think he still remembers that thing he said on the late night show,” Mum said and I started to laugh so hard my stomach started to hurt again. “I mean, you guys do your own thing, but I don’t think you had to say it on television, Chris.”

I couldn’t contain my laughter, especially because he didn’t know what Mum was talking about. “I love fucking girls in the butt.” I choked out and Chris suddenly became very embarrassed.

“I didn’t know he watched my appearances on the TV,” Chris said. “Had I known, I wouldn’t have drank alcohol before the recording.”

At some point my mum had to go and we were left alone with our unfinished conversation. “So… do you want tea?”

I rolled my eyes again. “Someone’s having commitment issues…” I sang. He wrapped his arms around me and laid us down together on the sofa.

“Alright, girlfriend,” he murmured. “I have never in my life proposed to anyone, if that’s what you want to know. I’ve only once officialy bought a place with a girlfriend, the rest were just sleeping at mine from time to time.”

I raised my eyebrow and reached under his shirt to pull on his dog tag. “So I don’t get it. First you demand commitment and now you're like ‘let's spend as much time apart as we can'.”

“Well,” he sighed. “In fairness, you’re the more mentally mature one and you shouldn’t listen to the shit I say. I’ve only ever worked with one of my girlfriends and we broke up before the movie premiered. That was my only long term relationship, so thought it’s just something i shouldn't do.”

“Age of Ultron has been out for some time and doing fine, so...” I shrugged and snuggled into his chest. “I think we do have our own things anyway, so you shouldn’t be worried about that. You’re the reason I sold my flat in NY and we moved in together, so suck it up Mister. Anyway, you’re the one who’s doing only one movie after Civil War. I’m also filming a TV series in September and another movie in March, so we’ll get our dose of alone time.”

Chris chuckled and kissed my forehead. “Alright, let’s just not get on each other's nerves and we're golden.”

“Now go make me a sandwich, I’m getting hungry.” I mumbled into his chest.

“You mean a grinder?” he corrected me, pronouncing it more as ‘grindah’.

“Not this again.”

I started to take my meds regularly for a few days and I got much better. To make sure the situation doesn’t happen again, the Russos decided to film all of my indoors scenes first, so could get on with work, but also avoid a similar situation.

Chris had started to treat me more like a baby than usual. He was present while I was filming all of my scenes, also the ones he wasn’t involved with. I was very uncomfortable with giving Paul Bettany romantic looks when my boyfriend was right next to me. I mean, I didn’t insist on being there when he shoot that uncalled for kiss between Steve and Sharon.

Around mid-June we got a week off from filming, so Chris and flew back to LA. It was the first time we were staying at the new house, since the renovating team had finished it while we were gone.

Dodger had no problems getting used to his new home. Chris also seemed to love it, even though it wasn’t his first choice. And I was utterly in love with this house. Every day, when I woke up, I had a sunrise in front of me, sneaking through the windows. I looked at Chris, who’s still asleep peacefully and snuggled into him. Even in his sleep, he pulls me closer to him and kisses my shoulder. It’s heaven.

On Friday the 12th, Chris’ friends visited him from Boston to celebrate his birthday. They had an all-boys night with snooker, beers, whisky, American football and stakes, so I let them be and left to run some errands and for a meeting with Jeremy. I had agreed to do an independent movie next year and after reading the script, I thought that the other lead role would be perfect for Jeremy, so I asked him for a meeting.

I walked around a few shops, not really knowing what I wanted to buy, but ended up buying a cute set of pyjamas, jeans and a pair of high heeled shoes.

“Hi, Jer!” I greeted him as he stood up from the table. “How are you?”

“You saw me a few days ago, not much has changed,” he smiled and pulled out the chair for me. “Anyway, you got me interested in that movie.”

I handed him my script. Taylor had asked me not to make any copies, so Jeremy had to read at least a part of it here. We ordered our food and discussed some parts of the movie. “Have they told you where you’d film this?” he asked.

“They’re thinking of Utah in spring,” I answered. “It’s about 5 weeks of filming, but I looked up the locations and they’re incredible, Jer.”

Jeremy seemed very interested in doing the movie. “I’m just a bit worried, you know. I barely got joint custody for my daughter, because my ex tried to prove I don’t have enough time to properly raise a child, so I was actually thinking of having some time off.”

“I mean, I’m not trying to persuade you or anything,” I clarified. “Taylor only mentioned that they still need a male lead, so I asked him for characteristics and thought of you. I’m gonna give you Taylor’s number so you can discuss some matters with him, if you have any other questions.”

Jeremy nodded, putting the script aside. “Anyway, where’s Evans?

“His birthday is tomorrow and his mates from Boston are visiting, so I have house full of Bostonians,” I said. “They’re spending the night, too.”

“You’re in for a loud night,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, but I actually have an invitation to a club for a few of my friends, so I might just do that.” I shrugged. “Seems a bit odd to leave Chris the night before his birthday, but I wouldn’t want to crash their evening either.”

“Good call, guys get super mad when their buddies girlfriends join,” Jeremy said. “How are you two? I gotta be honest, I was pretty sceptical about your relationship at first. Not that I didn’t like you, Em, everyone fucking adores you, but on set relationships have ruined a lot of fun on set.”

I took a bite out of my chicken and said, “We have our ups and downs, but it’s great. So, unless we have a fight, we won’t be ruining the atmosphere.”

“Evans is a great guy, but he’s still lucky to have you,” He grinned. “Honestly, when I met him, I just couldn’t imagine him in an actual, serious relationship and now he responds to the snap of your fingers.”

I laughed out loud, knowing exactly that it’s not true. “Well, that’s a bit of an overstatement.”

We joked a bit more about Chris and talked the Wanda and Hawkeye relationship in the comics, which is sort of a father-daughter thing. It was really fun, especially when be realised that he could, in fact, be my father.

“I’m sorry, I can’t stay longer, but I left Ava with a sitter.”

“Yeah, of course,” I said. “Anyway, I really hope we get to work together again soon, not only for Marvel.”

“And I’m waiting for a housewarming party invitation.”

Jeremy walked me back to my car and we said our goodbyes. I had already noticed a photographer while we were inside, so I was positive that there would be a story about me cheating on my boyfriend with Jer.

It was still early and I knew that Chris hasn’t even started the proper party yet, so I decided to actually go to the club. I got invited by some friends I made on the set of Tudors, who have now also moved to LA.

I didn’t drink, since I had my car with me, but we mainly sat at out table and talked. It’s been too long since we had previously spoken, so it was nice to catch up. At some point we started to dance and I lost track of time.

It’s been too long since I went clubbing and it felt so good to just to close my eyes and not think about anything. I need to take Chris out to a club sometime soon. We’d have a lot of fun.

I think it was around 2 am when I decided it was about time to go back home. I could barely stand on my feet from all this dancing and had to take my shoes off to drive normally.

When I arrived home, the lights were still on. I was hoping to get inside quietly and go to the bedroom, but as soon as I walked in, Dodger started to bark. I bet he wasn’t a fan of the noise.

“Shhh, buddy. Come on, don’t be like that.” I scratched him behind the ear.

Chris came downstairs to greet me at the door and I saw that it took a lot for him not to fall down the stairs. “Hey, babe,” he blurted out. He wasn’t overly drunk, but I would say that he should've stopped drinking about 3 shots ago. “Where ‘ave you been?” His Boston accent was back from spending half the day with his childhood friends. I was kind of loving it.

“I met up with Jeremy and then went out with some friends,” I said and kissed him quickly. “Happy birthday.”

“Oh, God, don’t mention it,” He mumbled and connected out lips in a kiss again. He tasted like alcohol and cigars, which is exactly how I imagine their party would look like. “I hate gettin' old.”

“Old or not, I love you, Evans.” I whispered and made him grin.

“You’re an angel, you know that?” I could see how much he had to focus to say those things out loud properly. “Come on, let me show ya off to the guys a little.”

I rolled my eyes and climbed the stairs with his arm wrapped around me, probably for balance. “Fellas, this is my girl, Emilia,” he said, presenting me almost like Will Smith did with Jada in that one photo. “Some of you have met her, some haven’t been blessed yet.”

“Hey,” I waved at them almost awkwardly. “Don’t worry, I’ll just get something to drink and I’m running upstairs.”

“Why? You should stay with us.” Adam pointed at a spot next to him. “You’re all Chris talks about, anyway.”

“Yeah, I may have never met you, but literally know everything about you,” said the guy that introduced himself as Sam. “Ain’t your fault though, he’s obsessed.”

“I’m sorry, I have no idea what’s gotten into him.” I shrugged. “Anyway, I’m getting myself some wine and I’m gone. Chris, try to change the subject, alright?”

Chris pouted and let me go. I went to the kitchen and grabbed myself a glass of wine and a small bowl of strawberries. I rushed upstairs, taking Dodger with me, grabbed my laptop from the study and set it all on the bedside table. I took a quick shower and changed into my newly bought pyjamas, which I knew Chris will love once he sees it.

I buried myself under the sheets and played a random episode of The Office. Dodger laid down next to my legs, setting his head on my lap for him to scratch. This is the thing he’s takes after his owner. “You’re such an attention seeker, buddy.” He just sighed, signalling that he couldn’t care less, he just wants his petting time.”

I downed my glass very fast and didn’t get a refill, even though I wanted to. At some point I feel asleep with the show still on, Dodger laying down high enough to reach my shoulders and half the bowl of strawberries set on the keyboard.

I woke up to the sound Chris stumbling on the floor. He took the laptop and the bowl off the bed and tried to climb on to the bed without waking me up, but failed.

“You’re such a clumsy drunk, love,” I mumbled against my pillow. “What time is it?”

“It’s, uh, half past 4.” He said, taking off his trousers.

I shifted on my elbows to look at him struggle with the famous red belt which obviously was too complicated to figure out now. “Here, let me help you, old man.” I laughed and sat up on the bed to help him undress.

He gave up and laid back on the bed, before noticing my clothes. “Are these NASA PJs?” He asked.

I smiled and nodded. “You forbid me from buying you any presents so I decided to buy one for myself.”

Suddenly, he wasn’t so helpless anymore and wrestled me down to lay under him. “You’re sadly mistaken, if you think that it’s only a gift for you, fool.”

I turned on the bed to give him a good view of the booty shorts covered with NASA logos. Chris hissed and bent down to leave a few kisses on my thigh and butt. “Fucking amazing.” He whispered to himself, before biting down on my soft flesh.

“Chris!” I squealed, because he wasn’t gentle. Dodger woke up and barked at us.

He sat back and looked at me. “Honestly, I’m so drunk, full and tired that even the sight of this sweet ass isn’t keeping me alive.” He said in such a sad voice that I felt kind of bad for him.

Chris just sighed and threw himself on the bed next to me and brought me as close to him as possible. “Goodnight, Angel.” He whispered and kissed my ear.

“Goodnight, love.” I chuckled and feel asleep.

I woke up a little bit over 5 hours later, again because of Chris, who started to snore unbearably. He was sprawled out on the bed, barely leaving space for me. And that was impressive, because our bedroom bed was huge. Dodger spent the night in his bed on the floor, because once Chris came back, he didn’t leave much space for his rommies.

I got up and went to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and rushed downstairs with Dodger, who demanded a breakfast right away. I gave him his food and found some leftover pasta for myself. I ate it, made myself some lemon and lime water to go and took Dodger on a walk. First, we went up the hill so he could run around and have some fun. I threw him some sticks and tried to teach him how to fetch, but he was being too playful. I wanted to jog a little bit, but it was too hot and I didn’t want to tire myself out again.

We walked back home, but I let Dodger in to the car and we drove to the shops. I wanted to buy some ingredients for the breakfast I was planning. Chris’ friends were leaving today, late in the afternoon, so we still had to find some entertainment until 7pm.

Having used up a lot of his energy, Dodger was politely walking around by me, not caring around other people or dogs. I bought everything I needed, including more water and Coke and drove back home.

As I suspected, it was almost 11am and none of them have woken up. I went up to the kitchen and placed everything in the fridge, before preparing crust for my breakfast pizza.

“You’re always hungry, aren’t you?” I grinned at Dodger who wouldn’t let me out of his sight, hoping to get some of the smoked chicken I was slicing, which he loves so much he tries to nick it off the counter. At some point he got tired of standing, so he laid down and kept checking on me once in a while.

I made 8 doughs, chopped some meat and vegetables and made a sauce, so everything was ready for me to pop into the oven.

“Am I in hell?” I heard Chris’ low, hoarse voice on the stairs. He was only wearing black jogging pants and no shirt. He had just taken a shower and, I hope, brushed his teeth. “Because it fucking feels like it.”

I giggled at him, but also felt bad for the state he was in. “Do you want some water? It’s ice cold.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He mumbled and sat on the stool at the kitchen counter. I brought him the glass and kissed him on the head. “God, you're too good to me.”

I walked around the kitchen island and put one pizza in the oven. It shouldn’t be long until it’s done. “Do you want some painkillers?” I asked.

“Do we have any?” he lifted his head rapidly, too rapidly apparently. He groaned in pain. “Fucking alcohol.”

I found the pills and refilled his glass. “My poor baby,” I stoked his wet hair, pulling him in for a hug. “At least you had fun.”

He nodded and set his head on my shoulder. “I’m dying...” He whispered and I barely could hold my laughter. “I regret the fun.”

“I mean, you’re 34 today, so...” I chuckled.

“Fuck you,” he muttered. “God, I wish I had the strength to actually fuck you.”

I tilted my head to the side, smiling sweetly at him. “Take the pills. You go upstairs and I’ll wait for the pizza to be done, then I’ll come to the bedroom, feed you and then fuck you.”

Chris groaned and stood up. “Love you, wifey,” I raised my eyebrow at the nickname. “Too much?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I like it, it’s alright.”

Even though he was still a wreck, Chris smiled at me and went up the stairs. “We’re so fucking cheesy.”

I waited a few more minutes for the pizza to be done, sliced it and went upstairs. At this point, I was really hoping Chris' friends wouldn't wake up for at least another hour.

Chris was laying on the bed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. I shut the door and he turned his gaze to me. “I got way too drunk to be treated this good today.” He said.

I climbed on to the bed and handed my boyfriend a glass of Coke. „Drink this,” I said, rubbing his bare chest. He didn’t have a shirtless scene in Civil War, so they didn’t make him wax his chest, and as much as I never like hairy chests, he had the right amount of hair. The only scene that allowed him to show the incredible shape he got into, was the helicopter scene, which as I told him “could literally replace our foreplay”.

“I really hope these will help, ‘cause I’m guessing you’re not into necrophilia.” He chuckled dryly, referring to the pills he took.

“I can’t believe it’s the first time I’m seeing you hangover.” I said.

“Well, I had to show you my better side, so you wouldn’t want to leave me in the beginning,” he answered. “What do you mean ‘you can’t believe it’s the first time’?”

“Brits and Bostonians have a lot in common,” I shrugged. “As in, both like to drink until we throw up. Did you throw up today?”

Chris looked at me and grinned. “None of your business,” He sat up on the bed, leaning on the headboard. “Now give me my food, woman.”

He ate his pizza while talking about what they did while I was away or asleep. I couldn’t understand how grown up men could entertain themselves in the exact same way I did with my friends 5 years ago, when I was first allowed to drink. “In all honesty, you’re all just a bunch of immature boys.”

“I know,” he shrugged, his mouth full. “Half of them uses Tinder for one-night stands and haven’t been in a serious relationship for a while.”

“Do they have a problem with that?”

“Not really, but they do have a weird look on serious relationships,” he answered, taking sip of Coke. “They thought that as soon as you come back, the party would be over.

I raised my eyebrow. “And as we can clearly see by the state of my boyfriend, the fun continued for a long time after I came back.”

Chris smiled sweetly and grabbed my hand. “Yeah, because your boyfriend’s more into long term relationships, I guess.”

“Oh, I know that, I’ve known that for a long time, “ I said. “That’s why it took me less than a month to know he was worthy of taking my virginity.”

Chris tilted his head to the side. “Less than a month? We did it after 5 weeks.”

“When I was already halfway through my first month of birth control,” I explained, moving my hand from his chest down to his abdomen. “Anyway, Cap might not we worthy of wielding Thor’s hammer, but he’s definitely worthy of hammering into me anytime he wishes.”

Chris choked on the food and started to laugh so loudly, I was sure he would take everyone up. “Holy, hell,” he choked out. “I want that on a shirt and I want you to wear it all the time.” That comment seemed to energize him a little bit, so I decided it was time. Also, I was super horny. I moved to sit on Chris’ thighs and removed my shirt to reveal a thin, white bra. “Oh, Cap’s gettin’ laid.”

I smirked and moved down to hover over his calves, so my head was right above his abdomen. “Let me suck you off, daddy.” I whispered, before lowering my lips to leave wet kisses on his lower stomach, my fingers toying with the strings at the waistband of his pants. It’s been a long time since I‘d gone down on Chris and I didn’t even have enough will power to make him wait. I pulled down his pants and boxers, revealing his half erect length. I looked deep into Chris’ eyes and felt my mouth start to water. I sat back for a second and tied my hair into a ponytail.

“Oh, it’s gonna be good.” Chris mumbled as he saw me do that. I smirked and sunk back down to attach my lips to the base of his cock and lick all the way up to the tip. I rested my hands on his hips and locked my lips around the tip, swirling my tongue around it, tasting his pre-cum. I released him and smiled at Chris who was watching me with his mouth open and eyes half-shut.

I wrapped my hand around him and sunk down to the base of his cock again, but this time moved lower to play with his balls. I’d suck on few spots and give it small licks, toying with his balls, as my hand was stroking up and down his shaft, tugging at it, its movements moisturized by the leaking pre-cum. I hear Chris’ light moans as my lips became more forceful in toying with his sensitive area. I moved away to take a breath and sank down to wrap my mouth around Chris’ throbbing cock. I hollowed my cheeks around him, reaching as far as I can go and covering the rest with my palm. Chris jerked his hips forward, making me take him even further. I moved my hands to fondle his balls, as my lips reached the base. I moaned as he hit the back of my throat and Chris immediately responded to the vibrations caused by it. “Fuck yes, babygirl,” He groaned and grabbed my ponytail and gently guided me to work my mouth up and down his shaft. “You’re so good to me.” he mumbled between heavy breaths.

I kept up the pace, feeling Chris’ dick twitch inside my mouth. My boyfriend was squirming a lot under me, as his orgasm approached. I sucked on the side of his shaft, moving up and down, along the visible veins. Seeing Chris throw his head back, I took his whole length into my mouth again, bobbing my head up and down and waiting for him to reach his orgasm. “Fuck, I’m going to come, baby,” he whined. “Stop, I don’t want to come yet.”

“I’ll get you hard again,” I breathed out, giving myself a very quick break to catch a breath. I sunk down again, trying to finish Chris off. He always lasts very long, but that’s really the opposite of a problem. As Chris groaned loudly, I felt him twitch inside my mouth as he released is load. I swallowed every last drop and licked his cock clean, looking him straight in his eyes.

Chris was panting heavily and shifted on his elbows. “Emily,” he sighed, barely able to say anything. “I could barely stop myself from proposing to you in the middle of a blowjob.”

He sat up leaning on the head board again. I smiled and straddled his thighs, gently tracing veins on his shaft, which was a bit softer now. “I know, I know,” I whispered. “I enjoyed that too.”

Chris moved his hands up and down my hips. He reached behind me to unhook my bra and pulled it off my chest. “Mm, yeah,” He placed his palms on my breasts and started to fondle them. “Come ‘ere.” he mumbled and pulled my chest against his face to attach his lips to my nipple. I gasped as he bit down lightly. I started to gently grind on his dick, rubbing my wet pussy against him. Without his mouth leaving my skin, he reached his hand to my butt and slapped it, before grabbing one cheek firmly. I put my hands on the back of his neck, supporting myself as I rubbed against his length, waiting for him to be hard again. “Babygirl, you’re so good to me.” He breathed on my wet nipple, giving me a tingly sensation. He grabbed both of my cheeks and started massaging them with the same pace I was rubbing against him.

I reached down with my hand and grabbed his semi-hard cock, guiding it against my entrance. I rubbed the tip against my folds, causing both of us to moan loudly. “We probably should be a little bit more quiet.” I breathed out.

“Fuck it, these losers should know you’re the best thing that even happened to me,” He mumbled as I sank down onto his cock. We kept the eye contact as I moved down until he was completely buried inside me. “We should stay like this all day.” Chris said quietly, taking a deep breath.

I started to move up and down, as he started thrusting up. I was already very turned on, after going down on Chris, so I was very close to my first orgasm. I was breathing heavily with my forehead against Chris’ and the know in my stomach tightened. “You feel so good inside me,.” I muttered. “Faster, daddy.”

I came for the first time, gripping Chris’ bicep tightly, trying not to wake up the whole house. It sped up my heart rate, I couldn’t stop letting out little moans, releasing tension from my body. Chris wrapped his arm around my waist to bring me closer to him and thrust faster into my pussy. His other hand was still roaming on my ass cheeks. I felt my walls tighten and a smirk appeared on Chris’ face. He was panting at the same rate as I was. “Since it’s my birthday,” he hummed against my lips. “can we try something new?”

A smile formed on my lips, because I knew what he was asking for. “I guess you weren’t joking about loving fucking girls in the butt.”

“I’m not gonna fuck you in the butt now,” He said, giving me a little, soft kiss on the lips. “I just wanna play a lil’.”

Chris brought his forefinger to my mouth. “Suck it, baby.” I wrapped my lips around his finger, twirling my tongue around it, using extra saliva. Chris slowed down the pace and I swayed my hips to the sides and around, trying to reach different spots. He moved his finger to my butthole, circling around it. I opened my mouth, experiencing something I never have. His finger started to enter my hole and it gave me a weird, but pleasurable sensation. He was very gentle and slow, trying not to cause me any pain.

“I’m so close,” I mumbled and connected our lips. I moved my tongue with his, twirling around it. I felt the knot again, everything in front of me became blurry and I couldn’t speak property. While Chris’ finger was fingering me, the other hand reached my clit to rub it and speed up my orgasm. I was barely able to control my muscles and not collapse onto Chris. I felt overstimulated and helpless.

“You like daddy fingering your tight little hole, huh?” Chris whispered. “Who’s doing that to you, huh?”

I wasn’t able to speak, because of the speed Chris was pounding into me at an incredibly fast speed. I came hard on his dick, as he removed his finger from my hole, stopped rubbing my clit and just brought my body tightly against his.

Chris came right after me, with a last, hard thrust, staying inside me and shooting his load into me. He turned us to lay on our sides, out bodies still intertwined. We were both panting heavily, unable to stabilize our breaths and heart rates. Chris took a few loose strands of hair from my wet forehead and tucked them behind my ear. He then kissed my nose.

“Let’s take a nap, princess,” he whispered. “You deserve it.”

@daybreak96 @coffeebooksandfandom @smilexcaptainx @betinalunardi @rollinsuh @lily2089@stella2445@hy-pocrite @l0rd-disick @beholdoritou @klaussstilinski@achishisha@givenchymercury @just-trying-to-survive-marvel @henry-cavill-gossip-girl @rock-titties @bombsandsparkles @marvel-fan23 @cap-just-said-language @blackaestheticislife @justsomemarvelspam @nerdchester17 @shyofaspark @cssrogersse@crispyearthquakezombie@ultragalaxy @bit-of-a-timelord @kingofallthingsz@morguleth@calicokitkat @areelphony@gemgemswift @donut-crazs@dontchawishyouknewhowtosalsa@kandomeresbitch @deafeningpsychicpandahands @severely-theoretic@chmedic @patzammit@winterssoliderss @metalarmlover @saturnki @coolkimchijoy16 @sammyjammy92@coolkimchijoy16 @peruvian-bae @avngersx

#chris evans #chris evans smut #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fic #chris evans x reader #chris evans blurb #chris evans imagine #fanfic

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truthbeetoldmedia · 6 years ago

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The 100 6x05 "The Gospel of Josephine" Review

Y’all breathing okay? I think there were a few times when I held my breath this episode and boy howdy! I’m glad The 100 can still give me those moments. Now let’s dive right in to the episode:

Bonjour Josephine!

Last week we got a tiny bite of Josephine. Tonight we got the whole "gâteau opéra”, emphasis on “opera”, for the story of the Primes seems to be a long and bloody Shakespearean affair on an alien moon. Jaux!Clarke (see what I did there?) has barely fired up her silicone memories before she dispatches poor Kaylee with a cheese knife. Apparently Kaylee assisted, or at least didn’t prevent, Josephine’s last host body’s “death”, and she’s been on ice for six years waiting for a new host to be born and grow up. (Which we learn later is because they need a fully developed over-21 adult brain to host an adult’s memory chip, as they overload and kill child hosts. Glad we don’t have to see how they know that.)

Apparently Russell and Simone “jumped line” to bring back Josephine so I’m assuming it’s setup like an organ donor list, except people wait actual decades to talk to their loved ones again. The price of eternal life, eh? Also I can bet there will be some VERY unhappy Primes once they find out Russell and Simone cut line to get their daughter back amongst the living. Josephine seems to be hardened by her long life, and thinks very pragmatically and cold. She has successfully “other-ed” everyone except her loved ones...which is not comforting but also, I can’t help but think the gang would be very happy to have old Clarke back when they get a taste of real cold indifference from Jaux!Clarke.

Her “parents” give her time to adjust and we see Jaux!Clarke painting while dancing to French rap — a sentence I never thought I’d type for a sci-fi show review. She’s of course been given a task: find out how many nightbloods, aka hosts, our Space Popsicles have (since we really can’t call our gang the 100 or the delinquents anymore I’ve decided to call them this, fight me) to keep the Primes from becoming extinct. How hard can it possibly be to pretend to be Clarke right? All I thought was give Bellamy Blake and Jordan Green 10 minutes alone with her and she will figure that out real quick. (Also I was SO pleased to discover I was correct with guessing those two!)

Space Popsicle™️ Fam finds skeletons in the closet!

Jaux!Clarke meets up with Bellamy, Jordan, Gaia and the rest of the SpacePops™️ Fam and starts acting weird immediately. (Subtle at first but someone forgot to check if she knew Trig ha!) She dodges her first bullet and finds Abby to try and find out how many nightbloods might be on the main ship, only to hear herself called a monster and have Abby compare her book to the Eugenics books of our time. I enjoyed seeing her squirm at Abby’s assessment of her book, though Abby doesn’t have a lot of room to judge...

When Abby questions why her left-handed daughter is writing with her right hand, Jaux!Clarke needs to find a reason to exit stage left and she sees Bellamy and Murphy looking for Jordan and follows them. They find Jordan in the spooky science closet full of skeletons (subtle the Primes are not) and Bellamy is of course in full Dad mode™️, asking Jordan what the heck he’s doing. Jordan delivers quite possibly my favorite line of the season, thus far:

“What you would’ve done, The you before Praimfaya, anyway. Heart over head. That was always my favorite Bellamy.”

Monty and Harper's son, ladies and gentlemen!! Y’all I nearly jumped to my feet and clapped! Because that Bellamy is also my favorite Bellamy! And this whole season is a little odd feeling to me because Bellamy already feels like he’s been body snatched. Let’s hope this wonderful line delivered with perfection by the fabulous Shannon Kook is a sign we will get some old “I say, screw fear. I’m telling my own damn story” Bellamy Blake back this year! (Can I get an amen!)

Back to the science skeleton closet:

Jaux!Clarke Tries and fails to lure team SpacePops™️ out but Jordan and Gaia keep digging around and they end up watching the first “successful” upload of Josephine by Gabriel and her now very old looking father (og body) Russell. We also learned it took 25 years for them to develop and perfect the AI tech and lord knows how many corpses to get there.

We don’t know yet but I have a feeling we can guess the “old man” is Gabriel and “the Children of Gabriel” are followers against the “Primes ways” and are a result of him regretting playing God to get Josephine back and exiling himself once Josephine and fam got a little to unhinged about “hosts” and “nightblood”, leading others to follow his example. After Jaux!Clarke calls Murphy “John” and says a few other strange things, Bellamy asks to speak to her alone and, I’m just saying, if you watch this scene you see that Bellamy already KNoWS this isn’t “normal” Clarke. He isn’t sure what’s wrong yet, but he knows enough to test her and he can tell she can’t really understand what he’s saying in Trig! So he pulls a signature “Bellamy” move and yanks her back by the throat and starts asking questions because he’s now officially in panic mode —

BUT alas! She had a syringe of that lovely paralytic on hand just in case and the last thing we see in this scene is the horrible realization in Bellamy’s eyes as he lies helplessly paralyzed on the ground: there is a cold stranger behind his best friend’s beautiful blue eyes...and he cannot process his fear and loss fast enough. Welcome back heart over head Bellamy, we’ve missed you!!

Cut to Jaux!Clarke finding Murphy in the bar and revealing her true identity and confessing “Clarke is dead. My parents killed her” (listen I don’t buy it kids) and offering our favorite morally questionable cockroach something he might not be able to pass up: eternal life. Given his recent brush with death and sudden fear of hell….oh boy! It’s gonna take him a minute to realize he should help his friends, I just hope he realizes that before he’s made a full deal with the devil.

Diyoza and the Brat

This pair is a surprising team up, but if I have to suffer through Octavia’s “redemption” they couldn’t have picked a better reward than my favorite Season 5 addition (besides sweet Shaw! I’m still bitter about that guys) DIYOZA! Sassy, amazing fighter, the universe’s longest known pregnant lady. I could watch an entire show about her. (Also Ivana Milicevic is a dream in this role.) She’s the gift that keeps on giving, cool as a cucumber while stuck in space quicksand as Octavia is about to go under because she cannot be still for one second. Probably because if Octavia’s quiet she’ll think and with that comes dark thoughts: how she failed as a leader, how she was willing to abuse, torture and maybe even kill her brother, how her brother, the one person who she thought would always love her through her greatest faults, finally couldn’t take anymore and rejected her. She doesn’t have anything left to lose. Rock bottom meet Octavia Blake, Octavia Blake meet rock bottom.

Now I know I sound harsh but after Season 4 I was beyond seeing her as anything but a villain. I know she is on her way to redemption, but I’m glad they are giving her the long way through the dirt and mud, letting her soak in the cage of her own making a while. And giving us the wonderful Diyoza to lighten the mood. I am all for unsuspecting road trip buddies in shows (Arya and the Hound anyone?) but unfortunately so far all Octavia’s done is try to murder people, throw tantrums, and sulk. Oh well, at least Diyoza is getting in some practice for when she finally gets to have her 200-year-old baby! Really though bless her heart, she deserves some kind of sainthood for this.

Mount Weather + City of Light + Commander worship, shaken not stirred

I actually dig the intersecting of all the “bad guy” storylines into one big villain origin story wearing Clarke’s face. If nothing else it’s a poetic rehash of all the previous seasons, but refreshing enough to not seem stale...for the most part. I grow tired of the Flame/commander story and miss the more simple “teens surviving the unknown my learning to depend and care for each other” story of the first few seasons. BUT considering Season 5’s underwhelming last half, if there is one thing I can say about Season 6 of The 100...it’s not boring! And for a show that sometimes paces the plot too fast I was actually okay with that this time around! I did not want it to take three episodes for our fave family of 150 year old space popsicles to discover Clarke is “dead”. Also I am so glad it was the magic duo of Bellamy and Jordan that made the realization first.

Final thoughts

Eliza Taylor has grown so much as an actress over the seasons! She looks like she had so much fun playing Jaux!Clarke and she gave her such a different “spirit” than our usual worried and sometimes snarky but mostly serious Clarke Griffin. Just the way her eyes dance lets you know it’s not “real Clarke”.

I neglected to mention the importance of Jordan knowing “Delilah” before her change to Priya VII, so his spidey senses also go off around Clarke because he knows what a person who just got body snatched acts like! When he took “Delilah” the flowers I was like my poor son.

This episode was great because the focus was tighter and had fewer characters to keep up with! (Listen I love ensemble casts but they have not given Raven a strong independent storyline since Season 4, and I love Emori but she doesn’t really have a lot to do at the moment either, as for Echo...why she was made a main character when Harper was right there all those seasons? I’ll never know.) All that to say, I like when they break up the cast a bit and just focus on a few at a time to really get that interpersonal development between characters. That used to be the bread and butter of this show. Don’t get me wrong, I still love The 100 and find it unique and fun and twisty and exhilarating and at times beautifully heartbreaking.

(Episodes 1x05, 1x07, 1x13, 2x15, 2x16, 4x13 and 5x13 are perfect examples of this.)

But I do yearn for those slower, deeper days of, say, a boy and a girl grappling with the moral quandary of torturing a stranger tied up in the cockpit of a crashed spaceship to save a dying friend. Sometimes bigger and shiner isn’t always better. But no matter how this season goes, The 100 is still one of my favorite TV shows ever, and deserves a spot up there with a lot of other great sci-fi dramas of the past two decades.

As of now all I need to know is: where the heck is Bellamy Blake and is he okay?!

Gina’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

The 100 airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on the CW.

#The 100 #The Gospel of Josephine

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imagineclaireandjamie · 7 years ago

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Connections

greeniebee said: I believe you wrote Connections on Imagine, are you going to continue it? I really enjoyed what you have written.

Turning off the hot water tap, Claire let the steam wrap around her as she toed off her slippers and socks. She felt queasy and it wasn’t from the close heat surrounding her. The fight she’d had earlier in the day with Jamie hadn’t been an ordinary one, they had been seeing each other on and off in the months since the miscarriage and Claire often ran hot and cold with him. Poor Jamie never knew what to expect and Claire knew all too well how cantankerous she could be - but she just couldn’t stop herself.

Though if she was crabby, she mumbled to herself, he was needy and far too emotionally involved. The fight rang clear in her ears as she dropped her t-shirt on the floor, unhooked the button on her jeans and fully unclothed herself. Before she could lower herself into the water the nausea peaked and she dropped to her knees before spewing the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

“Fuck,” she muttered, her clammy hands slipping over the cold, damp porcelain of the loo. Her stomach revolted once more, her shoulders shaking as she gagged and retched loudly.

Her lips tingled and her throat stung as she bowed her head and waited for the sick feeling to leave her. Behind her closed lids she could see Jamie’s angry face leering down over her as he’d clenched his teeth in suppressed anger. As suddenly as her irritability had risen so did the feeling of immense guilt.

Claire had needed some space. Her head had been filled with Jamie since he’d entered her life and the pressure of having someone so truly dedicated to her had begun to crush her. It wasn’t that she didn’t adore Jamie’s affection, it was simply that she felt unable to return the sentiment. In a rash and uncharacteristic move she had *almost* kissed another man.

Drink had been involved, that and poor decision making and Jamie had walked into the bar to see Claire hovering dangerously close to the stranger. That had been the final straw and Jamie stormed over, placed himself between Claire and the unknown man and stood possessively over her.

In no need of rescuing, Claire had made a move herself. Sliding from the chair she had stormed out, her cheeks blotted red with rage.

How *dare* he? She was rapidly approaching boiling point and words she desperately didn’t want to say were bubbling on her tongue.

If only he’d let her calm before chasing after her she wouldn’t have lashed out so intensely.

Climbing into the boiling hot water, Claire closed her eyes and swallowed back the terrible taste that had been left on her tongue. She deserved to be sick. She deserved to feel horrid. The one person in this world who’d truly dedicated himself to looking out for her, and she’d treated him so poorly. Her stomach growled as the water lapped over her warm flesh. Holding on tight to the plastic tub, Claire breathed in through her mouth and out through her nose to quell the nausea.

“Not again, please,” she mumbled, her belly disagreeing with her as she turned on her side, one hand still solidly connected to the bath whilst the other ran soothing circles over her stomach. The slight raise shocked her. Having been unaware of herself in the recent months, she had neglected to notice the slight weight gain and now, her palm laid delicately over the subtle arch of her tummy, she finally took stock of herself.

“Probably should lay off the takeaways now,” she sighed upon the realising. Hard working hours, stress and neglect had begun to take its toll on Claire and the results were starting to show.

Pulling herself from the bath, she resigned herself to the facts: Jamie had been hard done to - and it was her fault. Tomorrow, she decided, she would make this right. Grabbing the towel from the heated rail, Claire wrapped herself snuggly in its dense fibres, burying her nose against the faintly floral scent.

Padding into the bedroom, she didn’t even consider getting dressed before climbing into bed and burrowing deep into the duvet.

-- --- --

Claire had felt marginally better come morning but her shift at the hospital was passing unusually slowly. Although she hadn’t eaten anything in the morning before travelling to work, her stomach was still rolling, the acid sloshing about as she walked from patient to patient. It wasn’t bad enough to stop her from performing the surgeries she needed to but the constant and perpetual twists and turns going on inside her were becoming distracting.

“L.J.,” Joe whispered, clearly sensing Claire’s growing distress, “why don’t you take a break. Go and hide out in the on-call room for a while?”

“No, I can’t,” Claire argued as the pair removed their soiled gloves and washed their hands in the communal sink. “I have a consult in about half an hour and then another round check before I have to brief the students for their first night shift…”

“Claire,” Joe interrupted, a very serious note to his voice, “you’re blatantly not well, you’re ashen and you keep rubbing your tummy. Now I know you were sick last night, you told me. I can get someone else to cover your duties for you, but I’m being serious. You need to rest. Even if you just take that half an hour you have spare and see how you feel once that’s over?”

Sighing loudly, Claire nodded. Wrapping her arms around her middle she dried her hands on her scrubs before sloping off in search of a quiet on-call room. With it nearly being the middle of the day, most of the beds were unoccupied - all of the doctors and nurses being out on rounds or busy with their patients. It gave Claire the opportunity she needed to just sit. With her head in her hands, her feet tapping nervously at the torn up lino on the floor, she just took deep breath after deep breath, re-centering herself after a busy morning.

She didn’t realise until it was too late that her belly had taken that as a sign that it could play up again. Gurgling loudly, the remaining contents of Claire’s stomach push along her esophagus and out onto the tired floor. Claire gasped for breath, holding on to the side of the small single bed as she vomited. Thankfully her hair was still tied back from the surgery but her trousers were stained now with bile.

Cautiously, she stood, her knees shaking as she shimmied towards the door eager to get away from the putrid smell that now encased her and find a janitor to help her clean up the mess. Pushing his way in, Joe caught the door just as Claire was emerging.

“Oh dear, L.J.,” he soothed, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and signalling to the closest nurse, “I think we need to get you into bed.”

“I don’t need that, Joe,” Claire tried to reason, feeling immediately better now she had fresh air swirling around her. “Honestly, I’m alright.” “You are not *alright*, Claire. You’ve been sick for weeks now, but you’ve been putting off the inevitable. You can’t keep working through it like this. What if it’s a virus?” He whispered, it was no good getting everyone wound up if Claire was just suffering from a small bout of flu. But illness in a hospital was a dangerous thing. “What if it’s something that you could transfer to one of your patients? Don’t you owe it to them, if nothing else, to make sure it is just nothing...as you say.”

Unable to disagree with Joe’s assessment of the situation, Claire nodded her assent. “Y-yes, you’re right of course. I’m sorry, I just don’t feel like it’s that bad, you know?”

“Ha, L.J.,” Joe jested, “you’re a doctor. We’re all our own worst enemy, you know that. We’re either declaring we’re dying or brushing over the facts by trying to downplay our illness. And we *never*,” he said with a chuckle, “make good patients ourselves.”

-- --- --

After getting Claire settled (in a private room, away from anyone who might recognise her for safety sake and for her own sanity) Joe trotted off to prepare some of the more easier tests.

“We’ll take bloods and urine first,” he had said with great glee as he held aloft the massive needle, “I’ll take them down to the lab and then we’ll go from there. If the guys think that it’s anything more serious we can do more tests, alright?”

Claire sat in bed, the sheets curled up around her middle with a series of medical books surrounding her. Looking for a moment she flashed Joe a smile and nodded. “Yes, doctor,” she joked, saluting Joe as he shook his head, laughter coursing through him as he waltzed off in search of the laboratory staff.

Peeking his head around the door he found the team happily working away.

“Hey, Josh,” he said, calling over one of the younger technicians, “Dr Beauchamp’s taken sick, Can you look at these quickly and give me a diagnosis? You know Claire, she won’t sit down for a moment,” he continued, smiling along with the young lad as he messed with the buttons on his lab coat, “but she’s resting at the moment.”

“Oh, sure,” Josh replied, a tentative smile creeping at the corners of his lips. They all knew Claire, even the young lads. Although she could be fierce when in the midst of a difficult task they all liked and admired her. “I’ll do the early prelims now if you like? That way we can be assured that anything easy to pinpoint has been eliminated.”

Taking the blood and urine sample, Josh pulled out his microscope and testing implements ready and began working through the main causes of sickness as Joe stood to the side, waiting patiently.

“Ah!” Josh said minutes later, “I think I have your diagnosis.”

Joe pushed himself away from the wall, scratched his head and walked towards Josh. “So quickly, is it serious?”

“Nah, not really. But I guess that depends on the person and their definition of ‘serious’, doesn’t it?” Josh joked, peeling the silicone gloves from his hands and wiping the dust from the insides down his lab coat. “Dr Bea-, Claire, well, she’s pregnant.” He continued, seeing the look of confusion run across Joe’s face.

“Pregnant?” Joe parroted in return, even more perplexed now. “Are you one hundred percent sure about this, Josh?” He asked, his palms sweating uncontrollably now. Joe had been there through every bump in the road, through the break down of her relationship with Frank and the subsequent difficulties she’d had conceiving. To be told this, in the cold labs of the Glasgow A&E department had Joe shook and he needed to be certain of the facts before he went back to Claire.

“Y-yes,” Josh stuttered, “I can do it again for you but I’m more than certain that she is.” Pointing at the urine sample, he showed Joe both that and the blood test. “See, both indicate positive signs of pregnancy. The later stages too, more than a few months. Has she not noticed any growth? Surely her abdomen has hardened now, she might even be showing.”

“She hasn’t mentioned it, no. So the sickness,” Joe asked, “that’s just morning sickness?”

“Yes, I’d say so. Has she mentioned feeling ill other than the throwing up?”

“No,” Joe replied, “quite the opposite in fact. After she’s vomited she says she’s fine.”

“Then you have your diagnosis, doctor,” Josh said, smiling more fully now, “you can go and deliver the good news, can’t you!”

#;Mod MBD #Connections #jamie x claire

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deans-baby-momma · 5 years ago

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Afflicted-Part 5

A/N: This is late and I’m sorry. This being a short week and all has really thrown me. LOL

Dean’s spirits are raised after reading all the research you had found on erectile dysfunction and the knowledge that he could actually recover from it. He puts his all into the exercises you and Sam had devised for him and within another week he is practically able to stand on his own for a few minutes.

“You’re doing great baby,” you cheer from the sidelines as you watch Dean slowly take a step across the wooden platform between the makeshift parallel bars. “A few more steps and then you can rest.”

Dean has been able to walk to the end of the platform, turn around and walk back with minimal assistance for days. He actually has been adamant about continuing it and the tables have turned. Now, instead of you begging him to participate, you are begging him to not overdo it.

With a smile on his face, that reaches his forest green eyes, Dean takes the last couple of steps. “I’m getting better,” he says as you help him from the platform to the wheelchair. “Tomorrow I think we should upgrade to the cane.”

“We’ll see,” you tell him with a smile.

Sex with Dean has also amped up. He loves making you cum with just his tongue and fingers and he is still able to have an orgasm from your actions. To say life is going good would be an understatement.

The only obstacle to your new way of living is Mavelin beginning to cut her eye teeth and is extra clingy toward you, interfering with most of your and Dean’s time together. Not that spending time with your daughter is a hindrance, but you two couldn’t really discuss things around little ears; much less be intimate.

Dean has even began eating dinner in the library with everyone else; his mood boosted enough to even joke and laugh with the family.

You sit in your spot and watch as they all interact, talking and joking and laughing. You look at each one with a smile on your face.

Mary, her face is lit up with pride and happiness that her eldest son is slowly getting back to his old self.

Sam is all smiles as he listens to the same worn out jokes he has heard for years from his older sibling, even genuinely laughing at the moronic punchlines.

Adam, though. Adam is a whole different story. The youngest Winchester could probably win an Academy Award for the performance he puts on, pretending to be elated that Dean is becoming more sociable again. But you see through the act. Adam Milligan-Winchester is anything but thrilled.

The dinner dishes are all cleared away when someone suggests a quick game of poker. As you are carrying Mavelin to her room to put her down, you feel someone following you.

Knowing it is Adam, you go on about business as usual. Mavelin's room is next door to yours and Dean's with a hideaway door in between the two that Dean had installed while you were pregnant.

As soon as Mav is down and you are sure she isn't going to awaken, you slowly close the door and turn to see Adam standing there, arms crossed and leaning against the wall of the corridor.

You sigh as you see that same twinkle in his eyes as before. The boy just will not take no for an answer!

"Adam, I told you-"

Before you could finish your sentence Adam has you pinned to the wall, his mouth devouring yours and his hands groping your body.

"I don't care what you say," he whispers against your jaw, nipping it slightly. "I want you and I know you want me."

He shoves his hand between your legs, putting pressure against your clit. You can't lie, especially to yourself, the touch makes you fall apart, your forehead landing on his shoulder. Slick rapidly building in your panties and you whine against his shoulder.

"We got about 10 minutes before Sam or Mary will come looking for us, so we gotta be fast," you concede.

"Baby, it's been so long since I've been buried inside you, I might cum in 10 seconds!"

Grabbing his hand you begin jogging down the hall, away from the area the rest of your family are inhabiting.

The door you choose creaks as you open it but you pay it no mind; too worked up with the idea of finally having something inside your pussy other than fingers or silicone; actual flesh. Something hard and thick to stretch you open and make you cum hard.

There is no bed in the musty room, just an old wooden table in the middle of some shelves with a couple of chairs around it.

You quickly jerk your shirt over your head and push your jeans over your hips, dragging your panties down with them.

"Adam, fuck me hard and fast," you say as you jump up on the table and lay back, spreading your legs with your jeans and panties bunched around one ankle.

Adam quickly takes his place between your thighs and slides his dick along your slit, gathering up the wetness there. In one thrust he bottoms out and stills. You bite the heel of your hand to stave off the scream.

"Oh fuck!" He exclaims. "Forgot just how good this pussy is. Damn, Y/N you are tight as hell."

"Just shut up and fuck me."

Adam begins a punishing pace, his cock stretching and filling you. His hands hold onto your hips with such force, you pray there won't be bruises left behind.

You quickly feel that almost-unfamiliar feeling inside you; the one you get from having actual sex, not making out and fooling around like you and Dean have been doing. The coil deep inside you, flexing and squeezing; your walls clamping down on the pistoning cock inside you.

"Come baby," Adam murmurs. "I can feel you gripping me. Come for me. Come on my dick so I can fill you up."

As soon as his fingers leave your hips and touch your clit, your vision goes white and your back arches off the table.

"Oh my god! Adam!" You scream as you feel your body convulse around him.

Adam slaps his hand across your mouth as he pushes as far into you as he can get, his dick jumping and throbbing and shooting his load deep into you.

"Fuck Y/N," Adam pants. "I hope to God no one heard that."

He pulls out and helps you sit up, leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. With a smile he says, "Told you we were good together."

The two of you hurriedly get redressed and make your way back to the library to spend the rest of the evening with Mary, Sam and Dean.

But when you enter the room, all eyes turn to the two of you and Dean has a huge smile on his face. You're confused and a little startled.

Did they hear you? Had you and Adam been caught? Was your marriage over now? But why is Dean smiling, with a look of hope and optimism in his eyes.

You finally notice the trench-coat as the fourth set of eyes turn to you. Castiel. What was he doing here? Wasn't he off trying to find himself or whatever angels do when they go silent?

"Baby, guess what!" Dean proclaims as he reaches for you. "Cas can heal me."

Another A/N: Hate and death threats can be sent to my asks HERE.

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss @squirrelnotsam @sandlee44 @internationalmusicteacher @kricketc29 @natura1phenomenon @blacktithe7 @spnbaby-67 @travelingriversideblues-x @keymology @tftumblin @markofdean79 @thevelvetseries @deanwanddamons @winchester-fantasies @akshi8278 @michellethetvaddict @larajadeschmidt13 @xhannahbanana03x @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @hoboal87 @atc74 @maddiepants

#AFFLICTED #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #adam milligan #castiel angel of the lord #mary winchester #reader insert #accident #paralysis #cheating #smut #smidge of fluff #angst #ED #oops she did it again

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calliecat93 · 3 years ago

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ST: TNG S5 Watchthrough Episodes 2-5

Darmok: AKA, The Arena 2.0. Albeit the only similarity is that the captain and an alien get transported onto a barren planet with the Enterprise struggling to save him. While Kirk and the Gorn got forced by a God entity to fight, Picard and the other being, Dathon, look like they’re going to… but in actuality, they have a much more diplomatic interaction. There’s also a unique issue: the language barrier. The Tamarians essentially speak in metaphors that no one can understand, which with Picard missing… well it’s causing issues for The Enterprise who are about ready to go into battle. If we're gonna repeat episode ideas, I think that this is a good way to do it. Use a similar set-up, but do something different. In this case, Picard makes an effort to figure the Tamarian language out, at least enough to allow some form of communication. Like when Picard talks to Dathon after he’s been injured to learn more about him? That was a nice scene. Showing one trying to understand the other despite the obvious communication issues, and it is this effort and understanding that ultimately allows Picard to save the day before bloodshed can occur between the two sides. It was hard to keep up with at points because I could not at all understand what The Tamarians were saying and I’m far too slow to pick it up like Picard did. There’s a small, petty part of me bummed about having no people in cheap lizard costumes, but it was still a good episode. Certainly a much calmer one than Redemption which offers a nice cool-down from the premiere. It’s not as exciting as The Arena, but still a nice change of pace… but seriously, bring back the Gorn one day ST, and you better use the cheap costumes if you do! 3.5/5.

Ensign Ro: Alright, I’ve heard some about this one and I know that The Bajorans are gonna be a bigger deal in DS9. So Ensign Ro has been assigned to the Enterprise… but no one’s really happy about it as she had both been court-martialed and only recently released from prison. But they need her as the Bajorans are rebelling against The Cardassian Empire, yep those guys from The Wounded are back again. The treaty allows the Federation o act on behalf of the Bajorans, but that does nothing to ease the tensions between Ro and the Enterprise staff. So… one, Riker is an asshole in this episode. I mean making Ro take off her earring due to Starfleet uniform code… despite Worf being able to wear his sash (IDK the official name of it) that is clearly signifying his Klingon heritage and Troi having three regular outfits that she switches between, none of which are the standard uniform. Is it a seniority thing? Yeah IDK what that scene was about except as a tension builder, but way to be a hypocritical asshole Riker. But to be fair, Ro isn’t exactly the nicest person either. She’s very cynical, anti-social, aloof, and brutally honest, a huge contrast to the usually hopeful, optimistic cast. But as the episode goes on and when Guinan starts talking to her, it becomes clear why she is the way that she is. We learn about the horrors that the Bajorans have endured due to the Cardassians, Ro being used by an asshole admiral to give weapons to terrorists, and how it all caused Ro to feel ashamed of her own heritage and her struggle to settle it even after realizing that she shouldn’t feel that way. Needless to say, Ro has some pretty good reasons to be as she is, and she ultimately was trying to help her people and broke the admiral's orders when she found out that things weren’t on the level. Ro’s a really interesting character and I’m glad that Picard came around to her and allowed her to stay on the Enterprise, even allowing her to wear her Bajoran earring again. Hopefully, everyone else comes around as well. But yeah,t his was good! A good female character, the introduction of the conflict between the Bajorans and Cardassians, and an overall good plot. Again, I hate how much of an ass Riker and some of the others were to Ro with none of them ever asking her side of how she got court-martialed, but still, it was good~! 4/5.

Silicon Avatar: You all remember The Crystalline Entity? The one from Datalore? The being that killed a whole bunch of people because of Lore and would have killed everyone on the Enterprise had Lore not been beamed into space? Yep, they never actually defeated the thing so… it’s back. After it ravages a colony (thankfully all but two citizens survive), the Enterprise calls in Dr. Marr, who has studied the Entity, to help… but she has her own personal intentions for studying it. She is mean to Data, but it’s less because he’s an android and more because of his connection to Lore though she does loosen up fairly quickly. This is very much a revenge tale. Marr lost her son to the Crystalline Entity, and she has been trying to find him. way to kill it once and for all. We’ve seen this kind of story before, but hey that doesn’t mean it can’t be good, and bringing the Crystalline Entity isn’t a bad idea either. The sadness of Marr is done we'll and when Data read back a journal entry of her son’s in his voice... God that was just sad. Then... let’s talk about the moral debate. Marr wants to kill the Entity due to the devastation it keeps causing and to avenge her son… but Picard wants to try and communicate with it. Now I do understand what they’re trying to do and to an extent, I agree with it. The Entity may very well just be some kind of mindless animal just doing what it has to do to survive. Or it may indeed have its own thoughts and consciousness. Maybe it doens’t even realize the horrors it causes or the difference between right and wrong. If they could communicate, maybe they could understand it more and find a way to resolve the matter and stop the devastation peacefully. I certainly see what Picard is getting at… it’s just that along with no one considering that plan back in Datalore, the Entity IS still causing countless deaths and if Picard is wrong, they may very well die. But Marr takes matters into her hands, thus meaning that we’ll never know and that may be the true tragedy of the episode. Was Marr right to do what she did? It’s certainly hard to blame her, but she also cost what could have been valuable progress and knowledge. Either way, she was a heartbroken mother who wanted to avenge her son, and it only lead to a sad life that her son would have never wanted her to have. She accomplished her goal… but what now? The moral debate could have been handled better, but still a fine episode. 3/5.

Disaster: They were on-point with that title, though ‘Utter Insanity’ would have also been acceptable. So let’s just run down the list. The Enterprise has a power failure and it results in multiple insane scenarios. Picard is both injured and stuck with children on the Turbolift, Worf is stuck in Ten-Forward with a pregnant Keiko giivng birth, Crusher and Goerdi are stuck in cargo, Riker and Data try to get to Engineeirng, an Troi is stuck in Command as the only senior officer still alive on the Bridge. Yeah, it’s a wild episode. I really like the idea though. It’s essentially a Bottle Episode, but still uses various sets and uses the power outage plot to create a lot of chaotic scenarios. Most of them are really good. I liked Picard with the kids, which is as awkward as you’d expect it to be (albiet he’s over his asshole phase so it’s not as bad but still awkward) and, dare I say it, really cute! Worf having to play midwife was hilarious. I feel bad for poor Keiko, but still hilarious. The Data/Riker and Crusher/Geordi plots were also pretty nice. The only plot that I felt wasn’t that great was the Troi plot. Honestly… she shouldn’t have been given command, senority or not. She’s a counselor/psychologist, not a commanding officer. I’d have just had Ro and O’Brein stuck together and forced to take command of the Bridge. Not only were their interactions actually pretty interesitng to watch, but they clealry knew what they were doing faaaaar better than Troi did. I get they were trying to show her out of her element and apparently they do take this and use it as character development later from what I read, and her choosing not to seperate the ship incase others are alive even though it could lead to more death is very much IC for her. But it makes Troi, Ro, and O’Brien all look like idiots for putting Troi in a position thats she is unqualified for with her not at all arguign against this and the other two not pointing it out either even when she outright says that she doesn’t know certian protocals. Heck if they wanted to keep Troi on the Brdge, have Ro and O’Brein bickering Spock/McCoy style (which the they did a FAR better job emulaitng that here than when they tried with Pulaski and Data) and Troi playing peacemaker and putitng her counsling skills to good use. That’s right folks… Troi could have been Captain Kirk for a day XD That aside, I really enjoyed this! I liked seeing everyone out of their element, they made effective use of a power outage plot, and while no means perfect it was still fun~! Oh and O’Brein and Keiko have a baby girl now, yay~!!! 4/5.

Alright, we’re off to a decent start. So next round we have Wesley returning… but far more importantly, SPOCK IS COMING BACK FOR A TWO-PARTER! I’M SO EXCITED~!!! But for now, five episode down, 21 to go.

#st watchthrough

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not-so-secret-nerd · 7 years ago

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1,14

Who was your first girl crush?

Michelle Pfeiffer in Ladyhawke. Oh. My. God. I had such a crush on her, you have no idea. That movie remains one of my favorites to this day, and she’s still stunningly beautiful in it.

Tell us your favourite wlw-related memory.

Okay, so this is more story that memory, but it’s a memory still? And it’s kind of a frustrating one, but I still find it funny to this day, so it counts.

A couple of years back I finally got fed up with my body being an asshole to itself and went to see a doctor. Long story short, I was sent to a Gyno in my area for PCOS testing. Surprise, surprise, I tested positive and have cysts. Fun times. Not entirely the point of this tale.

So I’m with this Gyno for a few months, and she gets me set up with some BC pills to help with my testosterone levels and cysts. They work for a bit, but I eventually start breaking out into hives. They get worse. I got back to the Gyno and explain myself, but this woman wouldn’t listen to reason and pretty much blamed me for my hives.

She starts to go into her speel of “well, PCOS can be caused by being overweight” (I am maybe 30 pounds away from my target/healthy weight, this woman is a quack) “It can be caused because of genetics” (bingo, my grandmother has it) “And it can be caused by poor diet and hygiene” (the actual fuck are you talking about?!)

She proceeds to start asking me normal invasive questions about my sex life, and I’m already pissed enough I’ve decided to play hard to get, so to speak

Gyno: Are you sexually active?

Me: Yes

Gyno: How often do you have sex per week?

Me: (pretends to think hard) about two to three times a week

Gyno (stutters a bit) Umm...okay, do you use protection?

Me: No

Gyno (face is kind of pale at this point) Your partner doesn’t use a condom?

Me: No

Gyno: (deeply confused) How are you not pregnant then if you’re not taking your BC pills?

Me (without skipping a beat) You can’t get pregnant from silicone

Gyno: (completely stops. Brain goes dead. Just stares at me staring pleasantly back at her until it finally clicks) Oh god, you’re with a woman.

Me: Bingo!

This is one of my few shining gay moments, but I am proud of it! This woman was a quack and a homophobe (note the massive golden cross around her neck) and I never went back, but seeing the sheer panic on her face was WORTH IT

#Anonymous

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gethealthy18-blog · 5 years ago

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287: How to Create and Rekindle Passion & Libido in Relationships With Susan Bratton

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/287-how-to-create-and-rekindle-passion-libido-in-relationships-with-susan-bratton/

287: How to Create and Rekindle Passion & Libido in Relationships With Susan Bratton

Child: Welcome to my Mommy’s podcast.

This podcast is brought to you by Four Sigmatic, a Finnish company bringing the everyday magic of mushrooms to our daily lives. If you visited my home, you’d notice my homemade coffee/tea bar in my kitchen. Above it hangs 8 wooden cups, called kuksas… one for each member of my family. These have become part of our family tradition as we often sip mushroom coffee or superfood elixers from them at breakfast or after dinner during family time. Wooden cup or not, I highly recommend all of the four stigmatic products and you’d also find every single one of them in my kitchen! Here’s how I incorporate them into my day: in the morning I will drink one of their mushroom coffee blends, the matcha, the coffee latte or mushroom mocha with chaga. Throughout the day I sip their chaga, cordyceps or lions mane elixirs on their own since these are all caffeine free but have a host of benefits due including a major boost of antioxidants. Nighttime means their calming turmeric tea or Reishi elixir with a splash of macadamia milk. Mom tip: I also always keep their activated charcoal lemonade on hand for the first sign for a stomach bug… my kids love it and charcoal always seems to help. As a listener of this podcast, you can save 15% with the code wellness mama at foursigmatic.com/wellnessmama

This episode is brought to you by SteadyMD, my family’s source for concierge medicine and our primary care doctors. Once something only available to the ultra wealthy, concierge medicine is now available to all of us thanks to SteadyMD. This means my family is connected with a highly qualified MD certified in functional medicine and who knows our medical history, the supplements we take, our preferences for medical treatments and who is available anytime we need her via text, video chat, or phone call. She’s been there when I was trying to decide if I needed to take a kid in for stitches or a sore throat, she’s looked at my kids ears remotely via digital otoscope that I connect to my phone and she manages and advises based on regular labs. I’ve always said that your doctor should be your partner in managing your health and should listen and take into account your symptoms, feelings and preferences and with SteadyMD, that absolutely happens. I feel supported, heard and confident knowing that I have one of the top doctors in the country available when I need her. With her help and thanks to diet and lifestyle changes in the past few years, I’ve been able to confirm that I no longer have any of the symptoms or lab markers of Hashimotos and am completely in remission! I truly can’t speak highly enough about steadymd and hope you’ll check them out. Head to steadyMD.com/wellnessmama to learn more and to take a quick quiz to see which doctor you match with.

Katie: Hello, and welcome to “The Wellness Mama Podcast.” I’m Katie from wellnessmama.com. And today’s episode, may be one you don’t want your little ones listening to, so if you are a mom or a driving in the car with little ones, you might wanna listen to this one sometime when your kids are not in the same room, unless sex is a topic you’ve already talked to them quite a bit about. Because I am here with Susan Bratton, who is considered a champion and advocate for all who desire more passionate relationships and she’s considered a sexpert. She’s been called the Dear Abby of sex with her fresh approach and original ideas that have helped millions of people of all ages to transform sex into passion. She’s been married to her husband, Tim, since 1993. But we hear a little bit about their story today and that it wasn’t always just sunshine and rainbows.

She’s an author, an award-winning speaker, and a serial entrepreneur, whose passion is to help couples all around the world. With her husband, she is CEO and co-founder of Personal Life Media. And she’s authored 20 books, including, “Relationship Magic,” “The Passion Patch,” and “30 Romance Tricks That Work Like Magic,” as well as her international best-seller, “Sexual Soulmates.” And in this episode, we go deep on things like why intimacy seems to die at a certain point in marriage and what you can do to revive it, why women and men are so different when it comes to intimacy, and how women can learn to be more in touch with their bodies in a way that’s really sexually satisfying. So, buckle your seatbelts. This is a fun one. But, again, maybe not one for little children’s ears.

Susan, welcome. And thanks for being here.

Susan: Oh, Katie, It’s so lovely to have the opportunity to share a conversation that we have with others. You’re always a joy to me. And thank you so much for the conversation around our sexuality and how it manifests over the different life stages we have, as a woman. I know that’s a big part of what we wanna cover today. So, thank you.

Katie: Absolutely. And I’m so excited to jump into this with you because, not only are you a friend and an expert on this, I think this is a topic that doesn’t get talked about enough. We’re pretty comfortable talking about all the other health topics. But I feel like this is really an important aspect of health that doesn’t get talked about even sometimes among close friends, and one that can be so helpful if we have the conversation in a constructive way. So, if you’re willing to get a little vulnerable, at first, I know from knowing you that you have a pretty amazing story when it comes to yourself with your husband. So, if you don’t mind, can we start there?

Susan: Of course. Yeah, well, I’m a sexpert. And that is a funny thing to be. And I’ve really had to grow into it because it takes a lot of courage to be a sexpert because people are really triggered by conversations about sex. And that comes mostly from people’s shame and traumas that have happened to them, and their parents never taught them much about sex. Their parents never were very intimate together, weren’t very touchy or lovey. Many people feel like they came from what would almost be called a sex-starved environment. And then they get out in the world and things happen. You know, we get abused or we get shamed. We date and things happen. Maybe we have unplanned pregnancies or we contract an STI or, you know, it’s scary. We’re taught to be almost afraid, “Don’t get pregnant. Don’t get an STI.” But nobody ever tells us about how to make love, how to connect, how to keep, you know, your marriage bed in a really happy place. And so, we have a longing and a fear around sex. And many, many people, they feel like they’re not enough or they have body shame issues, or they don’t think they look pretty down there. There’s just so much many things that can get in the way of having that deep, connected, loving, passionate relationship with your partner.

And I think, for me, it started… Gosh, I just remembered this, I think the catalyzing moment where I…and the very beginning of what happened to turn me from a successful Silicon Valley Executive into a sexpert, was the day I was standing outside on the front step of my Silicon Valley mansion, having had incredible financial success and entrepreneurial success in business. And there I was, standing there with my little girl, and she was six years old. And she was rubbing her little blanky on her lip. She liked to take the little satin edge of her blanky and rub it on her lip when she was nervous. I could always tell when she was… It was her little, like, poker tell when she was nervous. She was rubbing it on her lip. And my husband was in his SUV, was all packed up, and he was gonna drive down the driveway, and she said, “Daddy, are you still gonna be my daddy?”

Like, oh, and I mean, I tell you that right now, and it literally, like, my whole chest gets coated in upset feeling from thinking that I was on the edge of ruining my little girl’s life and losing my husband because we had grown apart in the last 11 years. The first 11 years of our marriage, we had stopped being intimate. I didn’t really want him. I wanted to want him, but I didn’t want him. He was so mad at me because I didn’t really like to have sex with him anymore. And he was very emotionally checked out. And he was gonna drive away and go to a hotel, and we were gonna proceed with a divorce. And I thought, “What am I doing, man? How did I get here? How did I get here? This is not right. I don’t want this to happen.” I loved him, I just didn’t want him. And if I only knew what I know now, I could have really prevented it from happening. Really, my whole career, the last 15 years, have been devoted to helping couples not get to the point that I got to that day where he was about to drive down the driveway and out of my life, and I was gonna ruin my daughter’s childhood.

And we just didn’t know what we didn’t know. We said, “All right, let’s not do it. Park the car, don’t drive away. We can’t do this.” And we started to go to therapy. And then we went to sex workshops, talk about edgy. I would have a meltdown in the car on every trip to a workshop. We did these human awareness institute workshops, and ecstatic loving workshops, and orgasmic meditation workshops. And we really wanted to try to figure out how to rekindle our relationship in the bedroom because we were great friends, we were great parents, we had an incredible life together, but we were living as brother and sister. And really what had happened was I had sex with my husband for a decade, and I never had a climax during intercourse. And if you hear about this thing called… Have you ever heard of this thing called the orgasm gap? Have you heard that saying, or phrase, or concept?

Katie: I’ve heard the term, but I’m not totally familiar with the meaning.

Susan: The orgasm gap is that over 90% of the time, the masculine, if you will, the penis owner, he has a climax from intercourse, but less than half the time some women are able to have an orgasm from intercourse. So, you go for a decade having intercourse with your partner and never having experienced, you know, a climax from it. And how long do you wanna do that? Like, my limit was 11 years. I didn’t wanna do it anymore. It wasn’t good for me. It was great for him. He didn’t understand why I didn’t want to have sex. And I didn’t know what I didn’t know. So, we said, “Well, let’s figure it out. Let’s learn.” Because what I’ve realized since then is that orgasm is a learned skill. So many women are ashamed or they feel not enough because they can’t have an orgasm or they’re not sure if they’re having one, or they have one but only in a certain way, or only with their vibrator, or only once in a while. It’s elusive. And what I’ve come to learn through all of the work that I’ve done is that all you have to do is know how to do it and someone just has to teach you how.

And so, I’ve devoted the last decade of my life to teaching women and their partners, how to have, not only one kind of orgasm, but 15 different kinds. Our bodies have unlimited orgasmic potential, and so do our partners. Men leave a lot of pleasure on the table. They don’t seem to be as upset about it. They seem to be happy with their kind of go-to strategy. But us women, we have so many ways we can experience orgasmic bliss with our partner. And nobody teaches us how and you certainly won’t see it on pornography. I am a very, very, very vocal detractor of pornography. I think it’s degrading to women. It doesn’t teach the right things. It’s not emotionally connected. And so, I really like to show people, give them techniques and ideas about, “Okay. Here’s what you actually need to do to achieve that pleasure.

You just didn’t know that you were missing some of these parts of the arousal experience and you weren’t quite sure how your genitals worked.” So, what I do is I just teach people all these different ways to do what I call bridging the orgasm gap or I like to call it “Crossing the gasm.” You know, because we can have as many orgasms as our partners if we just know how to do it. But we just need to learn that there are people out there like me that can teach these things. And I give away most of this stuff for free. I love to give, give, give, give, give, give, give and do very well, just giving away lots of techniques. And so, that’s what happened for us, but there was another issue, too.

And that is that, when I was young, I was sexually abused by my stepfather. And then when the first time that I lost my virginity, not the first time, the only time, the first time I had sex and lost my virginity, I got pregnant. And it was very, very… I was 19 years old and I had an abortion. And I knew that was the right thing for me, at that time, but I had a lot of loss and sadness over that. And then I had a time when I dated a boy and he almost raped me., and I felt very afraid of men. And I had a boyfriend one time who I had sex with and he kicked me out of bed and said, “Get your clothes and go home. I’m never going to call you again. You’re no good in bed.” Oh my God, I mean, I had so many wounds that I was carrying around, that even when I married my husband and I loved him, and I loved our lovemaking, it was so repetitive. And I wasn’t really having a great experience with it, that when the new relationship energy wore off, and I had all that kind of, like, trauma I was carrying around, that between all the trauma I’d experienced and the lack of orgasmic pleasure I was having in my marriage, I just didn’t wanna have sex anymore.

So, we went to therapy and he went with me, and we unwound all the trauma, I had a great therapist, and my husband was by my side every step of the way. And I was able to come to compassion about what happened and about my perpetrator, my stepfather, and I felt forgiveness for him, and I let it go. And I moved beyond it, instead of stuffing it. And I learned skills from these workshops. And all of a sudden my sex life with my husband became alive and on fire. And I found my feminine fire. I was having incredible pleasure with my husband and I. We just thought, “Oh my gosh, why doesn’t anybody teach these things. All our friends are dropping like flies. They’re all getting divorced. And it’s not the finances, it’s the sex. It’s the lack of good sex.” He’s gonna go get another younger girlfriend and she’s gonna get just as bored with him. And he’s gonna have multiple divorces and re-marriages because they didn’t know what they were doing because there’s no place you can learn to have heart connected, passionate lovemaking.

So, that’s how I ended up here, 15 years later, as the trusted hot sex advisor to millions, married 26 years, never more in love, never had better sex, totally love my husband. And I teach people how to find that themselves, how to understand the anatomy, and arousal, and libido, and desire, and sexual health and it is the most rewarding thing. You know, your greatest wound becomes your greatest gift.

Katie: Yeah. Absolutely. And that’s interesting that you said it was about 11 years in for you guys. It seems like there is something between that 10 to 15-year mark of marriage where… I hear this story from a lot of people from a lot of friends, that there seems to be a change that happens for a lot of people, at that point. Why do you think that is? Do you think it’s just, like, for you, all those years of it not being what it could have been and getting disillusioned? Are there other factors that come into play in that time period or why does it seem like so many people may be hit that at the same time?

Susan: Well, there are a couple of stages of abject boredom and sexual dissatisfaction. It sounds horrible, doesn’t it? Yeah. The first one is about four months to four years into the relationship, the new relationship energy wears off. And then there’s that seven-year Itch, which some of us can keep going until about 10 years, but it’s really boredom. It’s just that orgasm gap thing where it feels great to him, so he wants to keep doing it. But you get bored out of your mind and you need more… As the female, you need more seduction. You need to be moved towards your pleasure. You need more arousal. You need to feel desire. You also simply get bored and you need just more excitement. You need it to be fun. It ends up being rather perfunctory, after a while, if you’re not learning new things together. Really, the interesting thing about libido is that it is your general health. And as you age, your gut microbiome gets messed up, you get more toxins in, your hormones start to decline. All those things are actually… You know, you’re not producing as much serotonin in the gut. You’re not producing as many hormones. If you’ve been on birth control pills, that’s tamped it down. You know, there’s just a lot of factors at a physical level that happens, and then desire at an emotional level.

You maybe have frustrations with your partner, or withholds, or you’re not really being honest, or they’ve maybe, you know, gotten a potbelly, or they’re not grooming themselves like they used to, or they’re dressing sloppy, or things like that, that make you less…you desire them less. So you’ve got kids and you’re tired. And your husband’s a little, like, I don’t know, rough around the edges. You know, he’s not showing up for you the way he did when you first got together. He’s not romancing you. Sure, you might have date nights, but he’s not putting the effort in on the romance side of things. You know, when was the last time he brought you flowers or, you know, things like that.

And so, that kind of pulls down your desire. And then because he doesn’t understand how to arouse a woman, because testosterone starts out already. You know, he wakes up horny, and you don’t. He’s got this morning wood and he would just be happy to have sex every morning, just intercourse. It would be great for him and he’d go on his merry way, but that’s not really what women want. We wake up in the morning, gaving to get the kids off to school, and a million things to do. And quickies, honestly, I am against the quickie. I stand for no quickies because our genitals, our female genital are urogenital structure. We have as much erectile tissue inside us, as our partners do on the outside. If you think about it, he’s an outie and we’re an innie. And he gets almost instantly aroused because the blood flows into his penis and he gets that erection, so his visual signal is, “I’m ready to go.” And that’s the thing with testosterone, it’s full speed ahead. It thinks it knows what it’s doing. It’s overly confident. It has more certainty. That’s why it never asks for directions, right? Even when it’s lost, it just thinks it knows. It’s overconfident. It’s cock shore, right? And estrogen is more eyes on everything. It sees flaws. It has more anxiety, naturally. It has trouble getting in its body. It’s in its head. And it’s bothered by things, that the room is too cold, his beard is scratchy, the sheets aren’t snug on the bed, the lighting is too bright, the music isn’t right or it’s too loud. You know, we notice everything. And so, we have a harder time settling in. It takes us longer to get aroused. Our husband doesn’t realize this because he’s full steam ahead. And he’s kind of immune to the little things in the room that take us out of our body and we notice.

And so, we get this disconnect, where over the years, you haven’t taken, or insisted upon, or known to make sure that you get enough physical stimulation, that you take a slow arousal and let your body, and let your desire come to you. We don’t start out horny. We need to be turned on. We need to give ourselves the opportunity to first relax, which is the beginning of arousal. And then to build our turn on and our engorgement, which is the blood flow to our genitals. We need to kiss and be held, and stroked, and loved first before our husband grabs our breasts or grabs our Yoni. That’s not right for us. But he doesn’t know because the first thing he wants you to do is grab his manhood. That makes him feel calm. And like, “Okay. This is good for me. I’m being touched where I wanna be touched.” If he grabs you that way, it contracts you. It’s not right for the woman. And so, most husbands don’t know these things. And so, you go on for a decade, getting manhandled by a guy, you know, who thinks he’s better than he is. Eighty-percent of men, think they’re above average in bed. Okay. That math doesn’t compute. So, if you don’t have someone showing you how to turn on slowly and giving you the chance to do that, how many times are you gonna wanna have sex? You’re gonna want to stop that after a while. And that’s what I think happens to a lot of marriages. And the fun goes away. You’re not learning new things together. And I’d love to tell you more about that, too, the way to kind of, like, rekindle it, if you will.

Katie: So, I definitely do wanna jump into how ways you can try new things and rekindle in the bedroom. But first, I just wanna drive home a point. You mentioned that, for you in that phase, you had trouble reaching climax from intercourse alone. And I think that this is probably a pretty common thing for women, but it’s not one that’s talked about very often. And I wonder if maybe women feel like alone or, like, something’s wrong with them when they’re not able to that because it’s a common theme, that they probably think that’s something normal to happen. So, I’m curious, is that common for women to have difficulty with that? And if so, are there ways to learn that or to make it still very pleasurable, even if that’s not the case?

Susan: Yes. Most women don’t orgasm from intercourse, only the lucky ones. It’s actually a learned skill. So, we are biologically wired to learn how to make babies. That’s slot A into tab B. And that works pretty well without anybody teaching us what to do. But what we’re not taught and isn’t easy to understand or doesn’t come naturally to us is having orgasms. There are 16 types of female orgasm by my count right now. And what I would call orgasms from intercourse or penetration orgasms, or PIV, is what a lot of sexperts call it, penis-in-vagina orgasms. I don’t like that one as much. That is one of the most learned types of orgasms that there are. And the best way to do it… Well, I’ll tell you that I have a series about how to do it. I explain all of the details of exactly what to do in a series of YouTube videos on my Better Lover YouTube channel. So, I can’t get into all of it on this podcast because there’s a lot of things because it’s different things for different women. But generally, the biggest issue is two things.

The first is lack of proper genital engorgement, which means, not enough time with getting your genitals massaged, and/or pleasured prior to intercourse. And then the second thing is lack of his skill in the thrusting and lovemaking side of things. He will tend to go immediately inside you. You won’t have enough engorgement. You won’t have enough blood flow. You won’t have enough turn on. You won’t have enough lubrication. And he’ll go too fast, he’ll go right in. And then he’ll go in and out, kind of like the piston in a car motor, rather than the teasing, short, shallow strokes, combined with longer, slower strokes, hip drops and pelvic fluidity instead of a stiff pelvis. He’ll do too much, too hard. He won’t give you breaks. He’s not really conscious of what his penis is doing inside your vagina. You’re kind of just holding on, if you will, unable to relax. There’s probably a lot of vaginal rigidity. There’s probably a lot of missing terms of endearment, and verbal appreciation, and encouragement. There’s probably lack of kissing and full-body touch, and things like that. The positions may not be comfortable for you. It might be that you’re rushing into it and you’re not propped up with pillows. The environment might not be right. You might not have enough application of good organic nut oil. I like coconut oil or avocado oil, organic oil added to the situation so that you’ve got a good glide. There’s just probably a lot of components missing that are preventing you as the woman from really surrendering to your pleasure and it feeling very good to you. But I can tell you that, if you lay in all of these types of things… And there’s nothing wrong with the desire for your husband, you love him, you’re not mad at him. He’s meeting you’re outside of the bedroom relationship values, that the two of you can learn how to make love in a way that is much more orgasmically satisfying for her and not just him.

Katie: That makes perfect sense. Yeah. So, what are some of the ways…? I’d love to hear both from your experience and now what you teach, just a few more ways that people can rekindle that. You gave some great suggestions on how to make sure it’s beneficial for both. But when people hit that time, where like that seven-year itch you mentioned, what are some ways to rekindle that and to make things feel alive again for couples?

Susan: The best way is to schedule erotic playdates. So, I didn’t say schedule sex because that’s one more thing to do, which is the last thing we wellness mamas need, right? The last thing we need as one more thing to do, “Service, my husband, boring.” And not to have any lovemaking out of shame, or mercy, or feeling like you have to, or duty, or anything like that, instead, scheduling erotic playdates where you learn new things together. Because your old dog needs to learn some new tricks. But because he’s testosterone dominant, he thinks he knows everything and he’s great in bed. So, you can’t tell him he’s not, but you can tell him, “Let’s try some new things.” And new things might be, “Let’s do a little role play.” Maybe it’s, you know, “Let’s play doctor and nurse,” and I’m gonna wear some little nurse outfit that’s super cute because that can be fun for some women. They like to dress up in sexy things and that makes you feel sexier. Or, “Let’s try a new position that we’ve never tried,” or, “Let’s make love in a different place,” maybe out in the backyard or something that feels a little naughty like, “The kids are all gone, let’s try the dining room table.” That can be really fun. Or, “Let’s learn a new skill together.” So, maybe an expanded orgasm practice or something like that. There are so many different ways that you can think about learning new things together. And the couple that plays together, stays together, especially in the bedroom. So, moving from, we’re having sex to we’re having erotic playdates, really gets you back into that new relationship energy that’s gone missing. And it helps your guy learn some new techniques that will make sex better for you. So, it’s a really good kind of ninja female technique that invites new learning without any blame game.

Katie: Another great tip. And I’m curious, though, I think that there’s probably another side to this as well, which is that whether it be through childbirth or, for my own experience, when I had Hashimoto and was really in the thick of it. Those things can really kind of tank your libido. And I know that there’s… I’ve talked on this podcast before a lot about that testing that needs to be done and definitely getting thyroid checked, and things like that, the physical side of libido. But what about for women who don’t even have, maybe, that desire to really do that? They don’t feel like their libido is there at all.

Susan: Yeah. Libido, desire, and arousal, they’re the three interconnecting circles. I like to think about it as the three circles. It’s called a Venn diagram, technically, the three circles, and then in the middle is a little heart, where all of that connects. Libido is, you’re feeling your physical body and its interest in making love. And when you’re ill, your vitality is diminished, and your sexual vitality is the same as your life vitality. You can’t feel passion for your sex life if you don’t feel passion for your general life. So, anything that’s essentially crunching down your physical vitality is also dampening your sexual vitality. So, ground zero for you is your gut, getting your gut moving, making sure your microbiome is working, making sure you’re pooing really easily and well every day, making sure you’re well-hydrated, making sure that your vaginal microbiome is in good condition. You know, a lot of women suffer from everything from like, and sclerosis to yeast infections to bacterial vaginosis to cystitis and UTIs and all of those kinds of things. We’re very delicate, our vulva region, our urogenital complex is very delicate. And so, we have to be in good health to have a libido. Your heart is beating, your libido is a beating heart too. And then desire is, are you in good shape with your partner? Are there any withholds, anything you’re mad about? That needs to get fixed before you can want them again. If you’re mad at them, you don’t want them. And then the arousal pieces, what I was talking about, giving yourself enough time to get fully engorged and turned on, and use good lube and, you know, learn new things, and actually learn some techniques, and things like that, that’s like the care and feeding of your intimate life.

And so, really, those three things have to come together to feel good. There’s another interesting piece that is, vaginal restoration. For a lot of women, after having a child, if they’ve had a severe scar or an episiotomy, some women get fistulas or varosoles, or things like that. They’ve had wounding or damage from a bicycle or horseback riding, or they’re starting to have incontinence, or they feel vaginal laxity, lack of tone. All of these things affect the vast amount of us females. And there are many, what I would call, vaginal restoration technologies coming to the fore now that are available to us, that are not surgical in nature. They’re not vaginoplasty or labiaplasty. They are almost what you would call lunch break treatments. Using CO2 lasers and RF devices intravaginally, up inside the vagina, that are similar to what you would do if you were having Fraxel or BBL, or an IPL or any of those kinds of things on your face, any kind of like… You know, you talk about photobiomodulation a lot on your show. So, you know, you’re using essentially, light to stimulate new growth. So, the laser is light that does subcutaneous damage to your vaginal mucosa, which is hormesis, which creates new growth in the tissue and re-colleganate the tissue and tightens and tones the vaginal canal, and helps stimulate the musculature to rejuvenate the musculature tissue to help with incontinence. And then there’s also RF devices on the outer labia and inner labia that can be done for older women who are getting a lot of loss of tone. And then there’s, of course, the O-Shot. Have you ever heard about the O-Shot?

Katie: I have. And I actually had someone who does it on the podcast a while back, and I have actually tried it myself. But please explain what it is for anyone who hasn’t tried it.

Susan: Oh, great. Who did you have on? Robin?

Katie: No. I had someone from GAINSWave down in South Florida.

Susan: Oh, great. Yeah. From GAINSWave. Right. So, that’s what you do. You get a GAINSave for your husband and a P-Shot, and use a vacuum erection device to reverse his natural atrophy because as men age, their penises shrink, they atrophy. We’re shriveling up as we age. And so, to reverse the natural atrophy, especially, if there’s been any health issues, you use the GAINSWave to knock the plaque off and then you get the blood flow again. And then you use the penis pump to open and pull that tunica albuginea up so that the chambers can fill with more blood and the P-Shot does that restoration of the tissue. It’s the same with the female, only, when we shrink, we get bigger, more open. Our vaginas get lax, they lose tone. So, his penis shrinks as your vagina gets bigger. It’s the cruelest cut, Katie.

And so, the O-Shot is actually PRP, platelet rich plasma from your own blood, same as the P-Shot for him, spun in a centrifuge and then the white blood cells are taken off, and the red blood cells are taken off, and you’re left with this healing broth, this golden broth of platelet rich plasma that has cytokines and healing factors that get injected. It doesn’t hurt. You’re numbed, injected into your clitoral structure, your clitoral structure being erectile tissue, and your urethral structure, which is your G-spot… It’s not a spot. It’s an area. And it’s actually a tube of erectile tissue that surrounds your urethra canal, which is where the urine flows out. Those structures, you inject with this PRP, and it rejuvenates that tissue. It regrows new clitoral tissue because over time we get sensation loss. By the time you’re 50, you’ve probably had 20% or 30% sensation loss from when you were 30 years old. It’s just a natural part of aging. But now, we have these regenerative therapies that we can use to bring back full function to our genital system from injury, childbirth, trauma, and aging. And they work really, really well.

Katie: Yeah. That’s super fascinating. And I’ve noticed even just, in my own life, like you said, that whole body approach, all of those things have to be in line. I don’t think maybe, for a lot of people, especially, people my age, those things may not even be necessary yet. But I do know this, for sure, when I eat clean, and I get enough sunshine, and I get enough movement, and I get enough sleep, those things all line up better, and my libido is definitely stronger. So, I think that’s really sage advice to really focus on all of those factors and, like any aspects of health, not look at libido as a thing in isolation, but look at it as part of your overall health. And that makes perfect sense.

Susan: Yep. It is just part of our life force.

Katie: I also wanna circle back and go a little deeper on the trauma aspect because I really appreciate you sharing so openly about that and about the pain in your past. And I know that, statistically, a lot of women have some form of sexual trauma in their past. I do have sexual trauma from when I was in high school. And I this is a very common thing. I have many, many friends who have been through some type of sexual trauma. And I know that that also may be a very personalized thing. And you mentioned therapy and things that helps you. But are there some general steps if someone has that in their past and is maybe willing to face it, that are a good starting point?

Susan: Yes. First of all, know that trauma has happened to probably 60% of men and women. Men are definitely equally traumatized. And trauma comes in many forms. It can come from someone doing something to you or shaming you. Trauma can come from lack of knowledge and the fear that comes from not knowing. It can come from health procedures, and not even necessarily gynecological procedures, but just general health procedures, where people are touching your body in ways that you did not give them permission to. It can come from, obviously, the dating world and the shame of things that happen there, whether it’s STIs or unwanted pregnancies, or mean people, or aggressive people. There are so many ways that trauma can happen.

And what I can tell you is a couple of things. The first is that, your partner is your greatest healer, that most people heal their traumas together as a couple. The second thing that I can tell you is that trauma is not just rational and that it’s primarily in your body, not as much in your mind… It’s in your mind, it’s in your psyche. You can talk about it. You can talk therapy out of some of it, but most of it is actually caught in your enteric nervous system. So, we hold a lot of our sexual wounding in our pelvic area, in our sacral chakra, in our womb, in our tissue, all that tissue that we have in us, in our pelvic area. And it needs to actually be touched to be released. That’s why G-spot massage is one of the most common somatic healing technologies, that we use body healing technologies when our partner can give us a general massage and stroke that G area right inside the vagina, right on the roof of the vaginal canal, right up in the top of the cave. It likes pressure and it needs release.

For many women, their vagina is very rigid and hard because it’s been traumatized and it’s kind of locked down. Their pelvis is locked down or they’re having painful sex. And every time they think about sex, it hurts before they even are entered. And all of this is just trauma waiting to be loved and released into and let go. So, there are things that trigger us. We get triggered. We feel unsafe. And that’s why having a lot of these kind of loving touch modalities are very important.

I also have a really nice series on recovering from sexual trauma on my YouTube channel with Arielle Giarretto. Arielle runs an organization called fullembodiment.org. And she is, to me, the preeminent sexual trauma healer in the world today. I have very good connections. And we did a series about releasing trauma, being the partner of someone who’s been traumatized, supporting your partner through healing. What somatic healing is, somatic healing modalities, how to release enteric upset and shame. And so, you know, we can’t go into all of it in a less than an hour of a podcast, but that’s a resource that I would send you to. It’s at betterlover.com. And you can just search trauma on my YouTube channel. And you’ll find a beautiful series that we did together on healing trauma together as a couple.

I mean, we went to therapy, but it was my husband that healed me, as he began to massage me and release all the things that I had withheld and buried in my womb. Sometimes things would erupt out of me like… It would sound like the Wicked Witch in the scary cottage of “Hansel and Gretel,” where I would go…and make all these weird sounds that just erupted out of me as he was stroking that G-spot area. Or I would squeal like a hyena or I would roar like a train was coming through the room. I mean, and I would cry. He would hold me after that massage. And I would cry, and cry, and release, and release. But he just held me in his safe masculine container. And he just let me let all that go. And as I let all that go, then I began to feel pleasure. And that was really what allowed me to begin to have those orgasms from intercourse because now I’d lost all that armoring that I’d had, all that emotional armoring that had shut me down, and locked me down, and I released it all. And I began to release and release, and then I could connect with them. And when we made love, I didn’t dissociate. I didn’t leave my body. He’s kept me, “Look me in the eyes, baby, I’m right here. Everything’s okay, I’ve got you. Do you need me to stop? Do you need me to slow down? Let’s take a break.” And he just healed me from all of the injustices that had happened to me in my lifetime.

And that’s how I got from shut down, about to lose my marriage, to lose my wonderful husband and to ruin my daughter’s life, and my life, and to be alone, to start over, and to not have that happen, and to go on, to heal, and to go into the upward pleasure spiral where lovemaking just got better and better. And we so changed that we wanted to bring this change to other people. We wanted to make all this information available to everyone in the world who could find us. That’s the beauty of the internet. I mean, I’m not able to put these things on Facebook because Facebook, they’re just, like, nothing about sexuality. Even sexual health, no, no, no, nothing, nothing, nothing. It’s actually hard to find this information. But YouTube luckily lets me keep a channel that I can teach people things. And my sexual vitality summit is available to people for free because the healing is out there. The knowledge is around. And I just really appreciate you giving me the time to come on to “Wellness Mama” and touch the people in your world with the possibility of healing, and connection, and pleasure.

Katie: I’ll make sure we find those links as well and put them in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm. So, if you are driving or exercising, don’t worry about trying to write that down or keep it in your phone. Those will all be at wellnessmama.fm, so you can find Susan more. Before we wrap up, there’s another topic that is just timely for me right now as I’m under a month away from having a teenager myself is just the thought of how do we hopefully teach our children a healthy and positive attitude when it comes to sex? Because I think a lot of people… Like, I know I went into marriage with a lot of interesting attitudes about sex, but in including ones I had to work through about all the early childhood ones about sex being bad. That was taught, you know, when you’re young and you’re not supposed to be quite having sex yet. Like, I had to work through that at marriage, once sex was wonderful and good. But do you have any tips, especially, for the moms listening, and especially for our daughters of how we can raise them with a healthy, and realistic, and wonderful attitude towards sex and toward their bodies?

Susan: Yes. And thank you so much for asking about that. I actually have quite a bit of knowledge and experience in how to talk to our children about sex. And just to give you some kind of highlights about the approach. Yeah. We are traumatized by people scaring us about sex, “Ooh, don’t get near any semen, it’s bad for you. You’ll get pregnant,” and you know, “You’re gonna get STIs and it’s dangerous.” Our heads are filled with all these negative things. And then we don’t have names for our genitals and we’re not taught our anatomy and, you know, everything is just the negative, negative, negative. And so, we have to teach ourselves.

So, the one thing I’ll tell you is that, forgive your parents for not teaching you. They didn’t have the tools. It wasn’t the time. And when they tried to, if they tried to, you probably gave them a big eye-roll, and it was hard for you to talk to them about it. So, forgive them and move on, and know that it’s actually your responsibility, just like personal growth is your responsibility, just like continuing to always work on your health and making sure you are saving money and, you know, you’re getting your exercise and eating your vegetables. Your job is to open and expand your sexual potential yourself. It’s not your parent’s job, so let that go. Because what I find is people hold a lot of bitterness about that with their parents. And that’s unnecessary, so forgive your parents.

The second thing is, children wanna know very early on what the anatomical parts are between boys and girls. And so, it’s very nice to tell them about, “This is called your vulva. These are your labia. You have inner and outer labia. You have something called a vaginal canal. You have something called a clitoral structure. A boy has a penis. He has testicles. They’re in a sack called a scrotum. You know, he has something inside called a prostate. There are lots of interesting parts, but we all started out the same. We all started in the womb as little girls, but then about 8 to 16 weeks during gestation, half of us became boys, girls have innies and boys have outies. They fit together to make a baby.” What you do is you start with the simple things,”This is called your vulva. You have different parts. Boys is called a penis. He has different parts.” And then you layer in extra pieces, “And then here’s how babies are made. The penis goes inside the vagina and something called semen comes out that has sperm inside it, that fertilize a little egg inside the girl, that grows inside, her belly gets big, it comes out her vagina, and that’s how you get a baby.” Right.

So, you teach them those kinds of things. And then later you talk about, “Sex is a beautiful thing between adults. It’s something that you share. It can be a really sweet emotional connection. It’s like your best friend with benefits.” So, you know, you start talking about the emotional aspects. And then you start saying, “You always wanna honor that you should only do what you wanna do. You’re in charge of your own sex life. You never do anything you don’t wanna do. If someone’s pressuring you, here’s what you do, you call me or you leave immediately. No one owns your body, but you.” You do the body safety pieces. And then as they start to get a little older, you say, “There are some things you have to watch out for in sex. You wanna be careful not to get pregnant. When you’re ready, we’ll talk about contraceptives. I recommend non-hormonal contraceptives. I’ll teach you all about that when we’re ready. And we’ll also talk about safe sex and setting your boundaries, and having agreements about what you’re willing to do and what you’re not willing to do. And I want you to feel comfortable talking about sex. And then, you know, you go into more and more details about all these things. And what I find is that, over the years, if what you do is you just drip, drip, drip, you know that…

What’s that phrase about how the river always finds its way? It goes under, it goes around, it goes over, drips, drips, drips to find its way to the ocean, that’s what you’re doing with your child. You’re taking them on a journey, one drop at a time, so that… Their sexuality isn’t something where you sit down and have the talk, you’ve just always been having those conversations with them. You’re just layering knowledge. And then you also get some good books and you put those books in your family library, and you say, “I bought some books about human sexuality. There is a resource for you. Anytime that you’re curious, you can always ask me, but you can always refer to books as well. And they’re there when you’re ready.” And then the kids can go take them and look at them when they’re ready, when they have the curiosity in the knowledge. So, I think the combination of always layering in more info…

And when your kids are teenagers, when you’re driving them someplace, just drop one little thing, and then be done. Let it soak in for them and don’t expect to have a conversation about it. Just give them a little interesting fact, without them having to talk to you back about it. So, it’s not a two-way conversation unless they wanna make it that way. That’s also good advice for how you talk to teenagers who are resistant to everything you say because that’s their natural process of individuation. It has nothing to do with you. That’s how the individuate. So they have to. They’re compelled biologically to negate what whatever you say. That’s just them growing up, so you can’t take it personally. So, those are some of my little tips and techniques about that.

Katie: Those are great. And I can’t believe our time has already flown by so quickly. But a couple of quick things I love to ask at the end, the first, is there a book or books that have really impacted your life. If so, what they are and why?

Susan: I would highly recommend the “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal” by Sherry Winston. Sherry is one of my mentors. And she talks a lot about that piece that I want all women to know more, which is how we experience arousal as different than the masculine, the pussycats versus the puppy dogs. And learning about that, a “Woman’s Anatomy of Arousal” by Sherry Winston is an amazing book.

Katie: I will make sure that is linked in the show notes as well. And any parting advice you wanna leave to all the women listening today?

Susan: Yes. Demand the time that you need and the sensation that your body craves in the moment when you have connection with your partner. Stop doing what you think you’re supposed to do and listen to your body, and clue your partner in about what she needs and honor your Yoni.

Katie: Awesome. And Susan, you mentioned quite a few of your resources, but I’ll make sure those are all again linked in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm. So, anyone listening, you guys can find Susan, and continue to learn from her. But thank you so much for being here today and sharing your story so vulnerably and openly, and sharing what you’ve learned with us today.

Susan: Thanks, Katie. My pleasure.

Katie: And thanks as always to all of you for listening and for sharing your valuable asset, your time, with both of us. We’re so grateful that you did. And I hope that you will join me again on the next episode of “The Wellness Mama Podcast.”

If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/podcast/susan-bratton/

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