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knightinsourarmor · 10 months ago

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Was it her sorry state to have given him the right to speak? Shut up. He hadn't earned such control over her. Kuchel never had imagined, she'd find herself in a position lower than he was, him looking down on her (pretending to look out for her), advising her on how to lead her life. She had chosen this, hadn't she? She had chosen her survival, just like he had, when they took separate ways — when he left her behind, wrong, wasn't she the one who had left? She couldn't tell anymore, her memory of who she used to be slowly fading out of existence, consumed by this place, melding with its rot and darkness.

Why was it he still had the ability to stir something inside of her? Maybe his visit could be of some use — reveal her weaknesses, which parts and how much more of herself she had to rip off. Remnants of her pride remained, rage simmering quietly inside. The girl that’d make a fuss the moment he dared to doubt her decisions was replaced by a woman that’d only stare with absolute repulsion — for the nerve he had to speak, for his entire being.

❝ How come you think you know what I want? ❞ He was the one who had paid her a visit, yet he hadn’t the decency to keep his feet off her table. She had no intention to make a comment, she had grown indifferent to such behavior — just another part of her she had to give up in this place. Her eyes though, gray in color and sharp like razor blades spoke a thousand words. ❝ I thought you couldn’t see past your own self, Kenny. Where does the change of heart come from? ❞ Poisonous was her tongue, dangerous if she happened to bite it — didn't she long ago, numbing her to the core?

❝ You don’t need to worry about me. I might have ended up here, but you’re the only prisoner I see. ❞ Slowly her tone changes. At first she’d use the same voice when talking to customers — meretricious and soft, but as her real feelings began to unfold, the sound of it changed — hollow and monotone.

❝ Why don’t you find someone else to keep you entertained ? ❞

❝ Hey now , don't start lumpin' me in with them lot. There ain't no fun to be found here. ❞ There ain't no disgust present ; now , weren't that just the most sickening part of it all. Kenny snorts at the suggestion. Maybe this place had corrupted them. Maybe , he was just complete trash , no better , no different. Someone who couldn't even feel empathy to anything. He looked at those women and felt nothing. Now Kuchel? That were different. If there was anything left in his heart to feel , that small , dying affectionate still kicked from time to time. Just had a funny way of showing it.

❝ Guess they wouldn't give you much in a place like this. Ain't complaining about a place to put my feet up ; if that's all I can get in a crappy hellhole like this. ❞ A grunt , as he finally takes a seat. Legs outstretch to rest atop the table , a hand atop his head to reposition his hat. Jeez ; she's worse then those bastard MPs , looking at him like that. Might as well be face to face with a hawk.

❝ Who knows ; you might just be right about that. But there ain't much things worse. ❞ Not worse then him. Hell , maybe not even the trash that decides to spend their lives coming and going from this place. Yeah. He's sure he's the worst thing out there. Ain't much more rotten then him. Not her. But damn , there's not much left in her eyes ; she might as well be dead already.

❝ Seriously Kuchel. How much longer you plan on doin this? You really fine just dyin' in a joint like this? I know you'd rather gut me open right about now , but c'mon , that really what you want? Let this shit slowly kill you , n' for what? Coz I ain't seeing a damn worth in it. ❞

#( *sob* i don't have icons )#( hope this is fine. i plan on bombarding you about her more )#worldhell #— tba. thread.#— tba. shingeki no kyojin.#— tba. kuchel ackerman.#— tba. in character (kuchel).#— tba. ft. kenny ackerman.#— tba. kuchel & kenny.#— worldhell (kenny) | when the sun sets we're both the same. half in the shadows. half burned in flames

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ar-knightinsourarmor · 3 years ago

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— thoughts about kuchel ackerman

Writing Kuchel Ackerman means I'll be dealing with matters such as prostitution. If you don't want to see such matters on your dash, block her temporary tag (#— (tag tba) kuchel ackerman. ) or the tag: #tw: prostitution.

Well, consider Kuchel to be some kind of an OC, since we have almost zero information about her and she'll be based on my own headcanons. I believe even if we know nothing about her, I can base my portrayal on Levi's feelings of her and Levi's character. When Kuchel died, Levi was around the age of ten, so we can assume he was affected by her and her upraising.

Some basic characteristics I came up with about her character are:

She's the OPPOSITE of Levi. Levi is a character that appears to be cold but in reality is very emotional. Kuchel would appear kind, caring, and mild-mannered but she'd be numb emotionally. Unable to rely on her family, having to survive as a runaway and make her living by selling her body, having been used and treated as an object, she can't trust and bond with anyone. It's only her child, Levi, that she lets into her heart and the only person she loves, making her a loving mother. Levi only got to know that side of her, resulting in him being an equally loving and kind person.

#— (tag tba) snk.#— (tag tba) kuchel ackerman.#— (tag tba) headcanon | kuchel ackerman.#— (tag tba) headcanon.#tw: prostitution #prostitution tw #( me when writing headcanons: my english go pffffff )#( anyway i'll attempt writing a detailed post at some poimt )#( make it more decent )

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arlertwifey · 3 years ago

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chapter 05. hometown ghosts

☾—parings: levi x fem!reader · genre: modern!AU, mystery, action · word count: 3.4k

☾—chapter summary: You and Levi say farewell to Trost.

☾—warnings: blackmail/threatening, knives, ideation of violence & murder, long-term illness of a parent, (discussion of) murder, (discussion of) kidnapping, brief violence, terrible service industry work

☾—notice: 18+ ONLY. MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS = BLOCKED.

☾—taglist: @cherrykamado, @lacheri, @atinyarmyx1, @midaribaby, @ackeruser, @araveticazx

☾—a/n: I hope you enjoy this instalment! please let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist

series masterlist ☾ writing masterlist ☾ prev. chapter ☾ next chapter [tba]

Despite the frailness of her arm, Kuchel's grip is strong when her hand closes around your wrist, her neatly painted fingernails digging into your skin. You wonder if Levi was the one to paint the little daisy designs on them: it seems like something he'd be good at.

"Just who the hell are you? And who sent you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," you reply, jerking your arm from her grasp. "Perhaps you're feeling unwell—"

"Bullshit." Her lip curls, looking at you with more disgust than fear. "Levi might not have figured out exactly what you are, but I'd know someone like you from a mile away. You all move the same way."

Clearly, she isn't going to be convinced otherwise. You let out a sigh, straightening your shoulders. Really, when you think about it, this'll make your job easier. Though Levi’s not going to like it.

"No one sent me."

Kuchel snorts. "So I'm just supposed to believe that your kind waltzed back into my son's life by chance?"

"It's a coincidence."

"If that's true then you'll have no problem leaving then," Kuchel says, icily. "Whatever you two have, leave it and get out of here. Assuming you actually give a shit about him and aren't just here to hurt us."

"If I wanted you and your son dead, you'd already be buried in a ditch somewhere," you snap, irritation rising. "Or maybe I'd dump your bodies in the quarry, like that little girl. Fitting for you, huh?"

Kuchel's face goes pale, jaw slack in shock. "Don't talk about that."

"Why not?" Maybe it's cruel to back her into a corner in this way, but it'll be easier without Levi here. “Isn’t that what happened?”

Besides, you're certain he'll only be content with waiting outside in the hall and listening in for so long. Soon he'll come galavanting in to save his poor, frail mother.

But for now there's nowhere for her to run.

"Are you really worried about me hurting you, or are you just worried that I'll dig up things you want gone?"

Kuchel swallows. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"I think I do." You fold your arms over your chest, leaning back in your chair. "In fact, I think I probably know more about it than you do. But I want to hear it from you all the same. Got it?"

You cross your legs, making your long skirt slide up your calf. Her eyes catch on the sharp plastic shiv taped against your leg. At this angle, Levi shouldn't be able to see it, even if he were to look in through the doorway. Good. This threat isn't for him anyway.

"What do you want?" Kuchel asks slowly, the gears in her mind turning.

"Tell me a story." You drum your fingertips against your arm. "Tell me everything you know about what happened to Mikasa Ackerman."

Kuchel shudders as you speak her name.

What is surprising is the level tone of her voice as she begins speaking:

"My brother-in-law—or whatever you want to call him—Kenny, was never a very nice man. In fact, calling him a complete monster is more accurate. I did my best to keep Levi away from him, but back then he practically ran this town. All the bad things that happened here always seemed to circle back to Kenny. Like shit running down hill."

"What about her parents?"

A sad smile graces Kuchel's face. "Scientists. College sweethearts. She was a botanist and he studied chemistry. Mikasa was a happy little girl with them."

"Until Kenny darkened their doorstep."

There's something vacant in her eye now, like she's being dragged into long-pushed away memories. "No one ever said it. It was always just brushed off as a random robbery gone wrong. They were cut to pieces. And Mikasa disappeared."

"But you thought it was Kenny?"

"I knew it was him. I knew they argued—Kenny and Mikasa's father. You couldn't find two men that were more different. But he had something that Kenny wanted—or maybe Kenny just thought that he did—and that was never a good position to be in."

"And so he killed them all. And dumped Mikasa in the quarry."

“And then he left. No one around here’s heard from him since.” She falls silent, clearly intending to end the conversation there.

"So that's the half of it, but what about the rest of the story?" You prompt.

Her head jerks up. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the part where someone had to identify the shoe. In fact, someone had to put it there in the first place. He must have asked you to do that when the town started getting antsy after her body never appeared. I suppose, I just want to know what exactly you gained from helping with this?"

Kuchel's head falls forward, shaking. "You're a bitch."

"How original. Answer my question."

"I had Levi," her voice shakes. "Who was going to help us? Everyone else under his thumb? The cops on his payroll? Do you have any idea what would have happened to us if I didn't go through with it?"

Her skin’s gone pale, eyes frantic as they bore into yours—like an animal with its leg in a trap.

You look at her evenly. "Yeah, I know exactly what would have happened to you."

"Then you understand why I helped him. What Kenny wanted he got: whether it was killing her parents or taking Mikasa with him. I couldn't... I couldn't let him get Levi too." Her eyes drag over to the doorway, where Levi's no doubt still hidden. "My precious baby. I swore that I was never going to let anything happen to him." She laughs bitterly. "So much for that. You're here, so I guess that I did a pretty shit job."

"I don't know about that." You don't know why you feel the need to assure her. "I'm not here because of anything you did or didn't do."

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm just getting by."

Kuchel snorts and wipes away the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "Ain't that the truth."

She lets out a long breath, back straightening.

"Feels kind of good to tell someone about what happened. Guess that whole 'getting it off your chest' thing is true."

"I wouldn't know."

That gets a proper laugh out of her. "Is this why he likes you?" she draws a circle around your deadpan face. "Like a stone cold gambler. Levi's been the same way since he was a little kid."

"No need to worry," you say, tugging the hem of your dress down, so that it covers the blade on your leg. "Your son doesn't have any fondness for me." You turn, looking over your shoulder toward the doorway.

Kuchel examines your face for a long moment. “I guess a better question is: what’s so special about him to you?”

You swallow, turning over the question in your mind. It would be easy to brush off but for some reason, pinned beneath her grey-eyed gaze, find that you don’t want to.

Instead shift forward in your seat, leaning close to her. Her eyes go wide, breath shuddering as she expects you to close your hand around her throat instead of merely resting it on her blankets.

When you speak, you do so softly, so that Levi can’t catch your words from where he’s no doubt listening in from the hall door (you heard his footsteps halt, the idiot).

“The stupid bastard helped me,” you breathe into her ear. “When anyone with common sense would have known to keep their head down and stay out of trouble. But clearly, there’s something very wrong with him. With both of us.” Your laugh surprises both Kuchel and yourself. “So now—for some fucking reason—I’m going to stick my neck out for him. And you too.”

She swallows. “Am I supposed to believe that all this is just to ‘help’ Levi and me? How the hell could someone like you help us?”

“I’ll need you to trust me.”

“Are you joking?”

“Unfortunately, no,” you reply, dryly. “We both know that so long as you’re in danger, Levi’s hands are tied. He’d do anything for you.”

“What are you saying?”

“You said that you know exactly what kind of person I am. I’m sure that’s correct. You probably have a far better understanding of the situation than your son. Which means that you also understand that this kind of offer doesn’t happen twice.”

Kuchel nods. “So make it.”

“You’ll be safe. Levi will bring Mikasa back to you, along with enough money to cover any remaining expenses you have. You’ll be a healthy, happy family once again.” You sit back, putting distance between the two of you again. “Levi helps me get what I want.” You snap your fingers. “Simple as that.”

“And what is it you want?”

“I haven’t figured all of it out yet.” You reply. “But for starters: I want Kenny Ackerman face down in a puddle of his own blood. After that... I don’t know. Maybe nothing at all.”

Her eyes widened. “What’s your business with Kenny?”

“That’s between me and him.” You tap your finger against your lips. “It won’t involve Levi, so don’t worry. I promise, I’ll be long out of your hair by then.”

You hold out your hand to her. After a long moment, she clasps it in hers. “You better keep up your end of this.”

“If I don’t, I’m dead,” you promise her.

Dropping your hand you look back over your shoulder.

“We should probably just call him back in,” Kuchel huffs. “So we’re all on the same page.”

As if he hasn’t been listening to every word, pulling out his hair to decipher your intentions.

“Levi, get in here and stop lurking in the hall,” you say, cupping your hand so that your voice carries.

There’s a beat of silence before the door swings open, revealing an enraged Levi.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He snaps, stopping to stand beside his mother’s bed.

You shrug. "She started it."

Levi gives you an incredulous look.

Kuchel reaches out, taking one of his fists in her hand and making his fingers to go slack. “Don’t worry, Levi, she didn’t do anything.”

“Is that supposed to be comforting?” He doesn’t look away from your face, glaring daggers. “I don’t like this.”

You look at Kuchel, watching as she glances between you and her son. There’s fear in her face that wasn’t there before: not of you, but rather directed toward Levi. As though she’s afraid to meet his eyes after he no doubt heard her confession.

“You’re mother has agreed to work with me… with us,” You tell him. “We can move forward now and we should do so quickly.”

Levi turns, facing his mother for the first time, as if to ask if you’re speaking the truth. She gives him a weak smile and nods.

Levi’s shoulders go slack in surrender and he sighs. He appears defeated when he looks at your once more. “Alright. What do you have in mind?”

You take a deep breath and lay out your plan.

Even though you don’t see much of it, the glimpses you get of Levi’s departure are undoubtedly depressing. He doesn’t give you rides home from work any longer, both due to your suggestion that you distance yourselves from one another, as well as because he needs the time to drive his meagre possessions to a storage unit.

That was your suggestion. Though he said there wasn’t much he wanted to keep, he’d changed his tune when you informed him that you’d bet your life his house won’t be standing by the end of this mess.

That had gotten his ass in gear.

You only stop by his home one more time over the span of the two weeks, to drop off two cellphones.

He greets you at the door, circles beneath his eyes tinged purple, hair rumpled. You walk past him into the house, not bothering with a greeting.

The place has been gutted. Now you're certain that there’s nothing of interest for you to dig up. All that’s left in the living room is a sleeping bag beside a few piles of taped shut boxes. The once-locked door to Kuchel’s room is open now, empty like the rest of the building.

“You and your mother can use these.” You toss two cell phone boxes onto the sleeping bag. “Use them to contact one another exclusively. Don’t use names. If you have to speak in specifics, use pseudonyms, got it?”

“Should I be writing this down?” He asks, dryly. It doesn’t hold any of the acrid humor it usually does.

A small part of you wants to comfort him, but the rest of you knows that even if you tried it wouldn’t come out right. It never does.

The two of you had agreed on the moving day for his mother. Really, it was child’s play. A called in favor earned her a spot in Saint Maria General Hospital, a day's travel away from Rose City. Levi had pressed you, wanting to know just who exactly would be involved with his mother’s transfer to another state, her care listened under a fake identity.

In response, you’d curled your fingers into a faux-pistol shape, tapping the end of your index finger against your temple. “Think, Levi. Isn’t it better that you don’t know?”

Your answer had shut him up for a little while.

Now though, watching his grim expression as he turns over the cellphone in his hand, you're filled with a compulsion to explain. “Dr. Hanji owes me a favor from a long time ago. They’ve insisted that I repay them for years now. Seemed like a good enough favor to ask. They’re… odd, but practically a medical genius.”

He swallows hard and nods. “Good to know.”

She’ll be okay. You want to promise him that. Somehow, though, you know it won’t do anything more for him. So instead you leave, let Levi sit with his fears and grief as you return to your silent apartment to finish the preparations for the two of your departure from Trost.

You’ve never been good at goodbyes anyway.

When the day of your departure rolls around, you’re glad to see that Levi’s on time (not that he's ever been late before).

It’s a Tuesday, the air cold again. It’s getting darker earlier now, the sun dipping toward the horizon despite it only being late afternoon.

The Legion is as warm and oil-scented as ever, the chatter of customers forming and endless static in your ears. It doesn’t faze you though—like you’re miles away already.

Maybe you already are.

Your mind is on the move, tracing its way along the path you chartered. It’s stuffed away below the insole in your sneaker, lest you lose track of it. Not that you’ll need to look at it. By this point, the route is burned into your memory.

Still, you’re certain that seeing your journey sketched out on paper will put Levi at ease.

Kitz notices of course. Sees it reflected in the tips that he pockets, or the lack thereof.

He pulls you aside after you’ve changed out of your uniform and back into your usual clothing. Really, you’d needed to talk to him anyhow, not that it’ll make the experience anymore pleasant. In fact, you’d been heading toward the office to clock out for the final time. Your ears caught the rumble of Levi’s bike minutes before, signifying the end of your shift.

“Seriously, what the hell has gotten into you?” He snarls, breath warm against your face in the cramped office. “You show up today with a piss-poor attitude and decide that’s how you’re going to deal with the customers?”

He’s not wrong per se. This is your last day—you’d have ditched if the extra money wouldn’t come in handy. Unlike the past months that you worked, you hadn’t bothered with the candy sweet smile and voice reserved for customers and the meek, wide-eyed look used to appease Kitz.

You drag your eyes down from the bulging vein on his forehead to meet his gaze. “So what? You get less of my tips?”

Maybe something else has grated on his last nerve today as well and that’s why he snaps.

Unfortunately for him, you don’t feel anything but a grim sense of satisfaction watching the shock and subsequent rage wash over his features.

“That’s it, bitch—” You see his hand rise out of your peripheral vision.

He’s too slow.

Your fist and crumpled up uniform slam into his gut, making him double over. “You were saying?”

He chokes, desperately trying to breathe. You crouch, fingers curling in his hair to jerk back his head and make him look at you.

“Pick on someone your own size next time, okay?” You say, sweetly. “‘Cause next time you try and mess with me, I’m gonna fucking bury you.”

He nods, wheezing. You stand up and toss the dress and apron at his feet. “See you around, Kitz.”

Clearly, he’s got some sense, because he doesn’t even attempt to follow after you when you leave.

Levi’s waiting in the same spot as always, leaning against his bike. There’s a backpack on his back, same with you. It doesn’t look particularly full—clearly he took your instruction to ‘pack the bare necessities’ to heart. He’s wearing a grey knitted hat you haven’t seen before., face tucked away behind his collar.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” He looks up and watches as you put on your helmet. “What’s got you in such a good mood?”

You think of Kitz’s gasping, reddened face and smile. “Would you believe me if I said I was just happy to see you?”

He snorts, stuffs his hat in his pocket, and puts on his helmet. “Are you joking?”

The bike roars to life, cutting through the quiet. He nods at you and you slip on behind him, not hesitating to hold onto him.

“So, where to?”

“The interstate. We’re heading south east.”

“South East?”

“Let’s head toward Route 29. We’ll need to stop along the way, but that’ll get us started.”

You can already tell the directions are far too vague for his taste. Surprisingly though, he doesn’t protest, instead saying, “You’ve already got our whole route chartered haven’t you?”

When you don't answer, he shakes his head. “Hold on.”

It feels like a weight is lifted off your shoulders as you watch the lights of the Legion fade out into the distance as you drive down the road. You aren't in a hurry to return to Trost. Hell, you doubt you’ll even get the chance to if you wanted to.

No, your sights are set on far bigger things than a burned out town.

Escaping with Levi at your side is… surreal to say the least. How long has it been since a life other than your own was your responsibility? Not long enough it feels like. Everything’s harder when you need to keep someone else from getting fucking murdered. You feel the comforting weight of your backpack against you—packed with all the tools you could get your hands on to ensure that your plans come to fruition.

It’ll go smoothly, you tell yourself. So long as Levi sticks to his word and actually trusts you, everything will be fine… in theory.

It’s about two and a half hours before you tap Levi on the shoulder twice and he nods before pulling off to the side of the road. The sun has dipped fully below the horizon line, lighting up the distant mountains and endless dusty land in red and orange. No one’s around for miles, aside from a gas station just visible in the distance—nothing more than a speck of glowing green-white light.

He kills the engine resting a foot on the ground to balance the bike. “What is it?”

“We need to stop here and get ready. Let's roll the bike away from the road, by those rocks.” You point to a cluster of boulders not far from the road, where the motorcycle will be shadowed.

He stares at you incredulous. “Are we seriously about to camp out here or something?”

You can’t help but laugh at his startled expression.

“No, that comes later. First, we’re going to commit a robbery.”

#levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman series #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x fem!reader #levi ackerman x y/n #levi ackerman #snk x reader #snk x y/n #aot x y/n #aot x reader #snk #levi ackerman fanfiction #my writing #tw.flashing #ch—levi 💕#series: no saints

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dreamsofregret · 3 years ago

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bnha verse *

NAME: Levi Ackerman (リヴァイ・アッカーマン)

ALIAS: Levi

AGE: 31

BIRTHDAY: December 25

QUIRK: Foreknowledge

OCCUPATION: Pro-Hero (Formerly: Thug)

EDUCATION: None

PARENTS: Kuchel Ackerman (Mother)

GENDER: Male

HAIR: Short, straight black hair styled in an undercut curtain

EYES: Ice Blue

HEIGHT: 160cm (5’3’’)

BODY TYPE: TBA

FASHION: TBA

SCARS: TBA

TATTOOS: None

PIERCINGS: None

OTHER FEATURES: TBA

FACE CLAIM: N/A

* in this verse, some information may be altered/added in the future.

Basic Information:

— His Quirk, Foreknowledge, allows him to see five seconds into the future.

— He used to be a thug, until he was discovered and arrested by a man, hero, and member of the Hero Commission. The man took interest in him and offered him a deal: for his abilities not to go to waste, to work as a hero under his supervision for his crimes to be erased.

— Levi accepted and soon he became one of the most powerful heroes, working at the agency of the same man.

Additional Information:

— Levi's mother worked as a prostitute. One of her clients got her pregnant with Levi.

— Levi was raised in a brothel until his mother died from sickness when he was ten. His maternal uncle, an infamous serial killer took care of him for a few months and taught him how to fight.

— Levi believed he had no Quirk until he was arrested and they run some medical exams on him.

— He was convinced to work as a hero when the people closest to him died on a villain attack.

— His favorite drink is tea. He eventually opens the tea shop he always dreamt of.

— He has an obsession with cleaning.

— Despite being considered to be one of the top heroes worldwide, the Hero Commission doesn't include him to the ranks of the Hero Billboard Chart because of his past.

— He's working as a part-time teacher at U.A., teaching the second-years Martial Arts/Close Combat ( or whatever the hell you call a lesson like that ).**

** UPDATED ON: Oct. 24, 2021

USEFUL LINKS: Starter Call, Crossover Interest Checker

#( he's soft. don't give a fuck about his past )#( many things may be changed in the future because i'm not really pleased with it )#|| (f.) bnha ||#|| navigation post ||

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knightinsourarmor · 7 months ago

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❝ Help? ❞ she whispered to herself. A word she hadn't heard many times before, and not even once from anyone who meant it. It was pure instinct — she couldn't hold herself back, a rare occasion she let her real feelings show — seething at the memory of all the times she had fallen for such a lie, losing even more of herself every time. I don't need your– She didn't say it. Right when she was about to, gray eyes met his, and anger turned to immediate embarrassment.

What was wrong with her? Had she become the same as those she despised, ungrateful, one with the darkness, blind to the light ? This man, whose intentions remained unknown, kept coming to see her, never asking for anything in return. Not even once, seeing her less than human, even if she had long ceased at being one. Those eyes of his, holding a pain similar to hers. Holding concern, and a kind of warmth she couldn't resist. And yet, she had been ready to poison him with the same poison they poisoned her with.

❝ You must think I'm a horrible mother. ❞ She'd do everything to make sure her son would grow up healthy. Didn't matter how much of herself she had to give. She'd do everything, and still, she couldn't provide what was necessary. She couldn't provide the sun, or the freedom he deserved. ❝ I wasn't raised in the underground, like most people here. ❞ The admission had finally come, even if she was certain he knew. Not even once, she had been honest with him — her soul naked for him to examine. ❝ There's equal darkness above ground . . . ❞ Folded hands on her lap, clenched tightly at her dress. ❝ But I don't want my son to live without ever seeing the sun. ❞ Eyes softened, a vulnerability she hadn't shown before, the heartache she'd been concealing for so long.

Stop me. Take him with you. Many times before she thought about asking Grisha to take Levi with him on his way back. That thought, that hope, tortured her whenever he visited her. Many times she thought, it would have been better for him if she could let him go. Guilty she was, the worst of all criminals, keeping him prisoner to the darkness. Her son hadn't known the sunlight, yet he kept shining for her — for how much longer? When would his light burn out ? When would he succumb to the cruelty of their world, just like she had? She wouldn't stand it, if her son became the same as her because she couldn't let him go. . .

WRONG.

He had an effect on her, the doctor, hadn't he? His light was misleading, for a moment guiding her off course, making her believe it was her rotten nature to blame. But this wasn't the case, not really. She'd keep Levi close, not because she needed him, but because she was the only one who could keep him safe. She'd protect him, protect his heart with her own as a shield, make sure no damn being would ever lay hands on it. Levi wouldn't survive without her. And she couldn't yet see, of the crime she had committed.

❝ But I don't have the privilege of choice. ❞ Coldness returned, along with her composure. He couldn't understand. Why she'd hide. The curse her blood carried. The reason she sold her soul long ago.

⋆ ┊ . 𝐼𝒻 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝐿𝑜𝓈𝑒, 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒟𝒾𝑒 ◞ ˚ @knightinsourarmor ⤸ ❝ Doctor, don't you think my son is a bit too short for his age? ❞

❝ Well, I wouldn't say he's too short. Some children can turn out to be late bloomers. ❞ Grisha's tone is light, delicate to the subject in a rather awkward manner. Here again. How many times now had he journeyed down? When he heard about the pregnancy, it plagued his mind ; if he wasn't checking in, it would distract him, pull him away from his tasks ... and still, even after the birth, he returns again and again. There's only so much he can do. He knows not to get attached to anything, nothing in this world, not after everything ... of the things he'd been entrusted, he could only march towards that single goal. An prolonged death sentence, it often felt like.

Lips form into a line as he studies her expression. She was a woman who kept her heart locked away, apathy concealed her emotions ... he often looked into her eyes and found nothing staring back. So, there's something bitter-sweet about the concern in furrowed brows, a light gleam in her eyes whenever she spoke about the boy. Pain and love, concern, the frightening future that awaited them. Grisha dare not argue against her decision, never once had he convinced her towards the surface; so he'd take these moments instead, providing what little he could, trying to save the lives around him. Instead of being their downfall.

❝ Still, nutrition is important for health and growth. I don't think there's much to worry about just yet, but if he starts to show any signs of malnourishment, let me know. Outside of my professional opinion ... a personal interjection- ... for the sake of both your lives, please. It's not too late to start over. I'd be able to help you on the surface. Just, give it some thought. ❞

#( sorry for the trouble i just decided to move her back to the multi )#( temporarily at least )#— tba. thread.#— tba. kuchel ackerman.#— tba. shingeki no kyojin.#— tba. in character (kuchel).#— tba. ft. grisha yeager.#— tba. kuchel & grisha.#— tba. grisha yeager (worldhell).#worldhell

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knightinsourarmor · 4 months ago

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closed started with @desolxte || Levi & Kuchel

Kuchel Ackerman died many years ago, her rotting corpse found by her estranged brother and buried. None would ever search for a deceased whore. None could have ever imagined, on the verge of death, when her sickness had her paralyzed, prisoner to a withering body, slowly but steadily losing strength, and her sanity, she would have found the power to stand back on her feet. That losing her son, the last remaining light of her life ended in the hands of animals who didn't understand the first thing about his tender heart, would bring her back to the world of living, instead of being the finishing blow to a woman who had long lost any will to live.

She was alive, but was her heart still beating ? Any air filling up her lungs? Was her body still warm to touch, or as cold as her eyes? An empty vessel she had become, void of any human emotions, vessel of one single HOPE. The hope of seeing her son again. To think, even in the rotten soul of hers, hope could survive. Maybe, if she could still have a part of her human — her who desperately denied her humanity — maybe it was still possible to find Levi. Even when years had passed, even if he didn't any longer remember her, even if there were no clues if he was even alive— he was her blood after all, and tragedy seemed to be part of their nature.

She has found a note in the apartment she lived in those days, with an address and an hour written on it. A date? There was no mistaking it, the sloppy handwriting was Kenny’s. She could have him waiting, for the nerve he had to think he could decide when and where they'd meet. Yet, when had she managed to escape the shackles they were bound with? It was more than just blood, or family ties. No matter how many times she tried to stay away from him, she'd always find him before her, him unchanged, while she'd be even more broken, even less of a person, than she was last time their paths had crossed. She held respect for him, after years of resenting him. For his ability to survive, and pretend to care even if having long lost his heart as well.

She expected no less from him. An empty pub, a dark place where very few would dare to set foot if they were on their own. She had arrived first— no surprise, to have her waiting. There was no bartender, no waiter, nobody in sight, when she took seat in front of the counter, standing out in her white dress. She used to like those dresses, when she was younger. Now, she'd wear them on more rare occasions, when she wanted to make a point— dress like a virgin, as if she hadn't sold both her body and soul.

She heard a voice coming from behind her back. Little she cared for what they said. Probably to complain the store was still closed. If so, why had she found the door open and unlocked? ❝ I'm waiting for someb- ❞

#desolxte #( here! i could have made something better of it but i was impatient 👉👈 )#( i'm excited!! )#— tba. shingeki no kyojin.#— tba. kuchel ackerman.#— tba. in character (kuchel).#— tba. thread.#— tba. closed starter.#— tba. ft. levi ackerman.#— tba. kuchel & levi.#— tba. levi ackerman (desolxte).

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knightinsourarmor · 3 months ago

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Kuchel Ackerman (& Ethel Cain)

You're such a strange girl

I think you come from another world

#— tba. aesthetic.#— tba. shingeki no kyojin.#— tba. kuchel ackerman.#— tba. aesthetic (kuchel).#— tba. character study (kuchel).

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knightinsourarmor · 6 months ago

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#— tba. kuchel ackerman.#— tba. visuals.#— tba. visuals (kuchel).

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knightinsourarmor · 11 months ago

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#( yay it's levi's birthday but what about kuchel? )#— tba. kuchel ackerman.#— tba. shingeki no kyojin.#— tba. kuchel & levi.

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knightinsourarmor · 8 months ago

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blessed be the Daughters of Cain

bound to suffering eternal through the sins of their fathers committed long before their conception

blessed be their whore mothers

tired and angry, waiting with bated breath in a ferry that will never move again

blessed be the children

each and every one come to know their god through some senseless act of violence

blessed be you, girl

promised to me by a man who can only feel hatred and contempt towards you

I am no good nor evil, simply I am

and I have come to take what is mine

I was there in the dark when you spilled your first blood

I am here now, as you run from me still

run then, child

you can't hide from me forever

#( kuchel core )#— tba. aesthetic.#— tba. character study.#— tba. kuchel ackerman.#— tba. aesthetic (kuchel).#— tba. character study (kuchel).#— tba. music.#— tba. music (kuchel).#Spotify

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knightinsourarmor · 10 months ago

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theme. Kuchel & Kenny ( @worldhell ). Two siblings who have chosen to lead their lives separately. Do they still care for one another? Can love and hatred co-exist? Creatures of darkness both will become, their heart replaced by an all-consuming emptiness, yet can a tiny part of them remain human?

Spotify / YouTube

Beautiful Crime — Tamer [Lyrics]

Each step I left behind

Each road you know is mine

Walking on a line ten stories high

Say you'll still be by my side

If I could take your hand, oh

If you could understand

That I can barely breathe, the air is thin

I fear the fall and where we'll land

We fight every night for something

When the sun sets, we're both the same

Half in the shadows

Half burned in flames

We can't look back for nothin'

Take what you need, say your goodbyes

I gave you everything

And it's a beautiful crime

Each breath I left behind

Each breath you take is mine

Walking on a line ten stories high

Fear a fall, you're asking why

Leaving the things we lost, oh

Leaving the ones we've crossed

I have to make an end so we begin

To save my soul at any cost

We fight every night for something

When the sun sets, we're both the same

Half in the shadows

Half burned in flames

We can't look back for nothin'

Take what you need, say your goodbyes

I gave you everything

This darkness is the light

We fight every night for something

When the sun sets, we're both the same

Half in the shadows

Half burned in flames

We can't look back for nothin'

Take what you need, say your goodbyes

And it's a beautiful crime

#Youtube #Spotify #— tba. music.#— tba. kuchel ackerman.#— tba. kuchel & kenny.#— worldhell (kenny) | when the sun sets we're both the same. half in the shadows. half burned in flames #— tba. shingeki no kyojin.

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knightinsourarmor · 8 months ago

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Kuchel never relied on the kindness of anyone — kindness, what a joke. She wasn't any longer the same foolish young girl to believe in such qualities, having long lost faith in humanity. Rotten was their kind, and she wasn't an exception — neither was he. She may not know what his true intentions were, a mystery she couldn't explain, but she wouldn't lose this opportunity: take advantage of him same way he would. Same way everyone did. But for once, she'd have something to gain as well.

Even so, there was a part of her, still resisting, rebelling, free and unrestrained, even if doomed to a lifetime of misery. Proof her heart was still beating, and her skin hadn't grown cold yet (didn't need a doctor to prove that to her), a part of her deep inside the darkness hadn't yet reached. And that part was ordering her to reject his offer. Rely on her power alone, like she always had. Live on her own terms (same way she had chosen this life, over the path her brother had taken, an easier one to walk), die on her own terms. But she couldn't afford to be selfish any longer, choose her pride over the life of her son. She had brought a life into this cruel world, with the promise to keep him safe, give every last part of her for him — to ensure she'd stay by his side a while longer, she'd do everything.

Even if humiliated countless times, her value diminished, she never had to force herself to make a request — she never had to ask for anything, for she'd earn it. How could she accept the help of someone, when she hadn’t anything to give in return? She hadn't ever been in debt, the reason she had given so much of herself, yet now, she hadn't a choice. She never had felt as if her life lay at the mercy of someone. Before the doctor’s presence, of a man seemingly selfless and caring, she had to bow her head. Saying the following words, physically hurt. ❝ Please, Mr. Yeager. ❞ Maybe that was why she wasn't meant to grow old. Refusing to bend, she'd break instead.

Medicine. She had nearly forgotten these continued to exist. Such privilege, to live above ground. She wondered, had anything changed? What would happen to them if she found a way to go back? ❝ Alright. ❞ She had no choice but to trust him, no matter how difficult that was. He was her last chance — she could tell this much. That she was running out of time.

He was different. Not like any doctor she ever happened to meet. Different than most. An educated man, of both mind and spirit, in a way people struggling to survive within the walls couldn't afford to be. Carried the aura of someone who didn’t mind being caged — or better, who was already free. Yet when she stared deep into his eyes, examined him in return, in her efforts to understand such a creature presented before her, she recognized a familiar loss in his eyes. He wasn't whole as well.

❝ I know I don’t have much time left. ❞ Beg. An inner voice within screamed for her to beg. To unfold her sorrow before him, make him pity her, feel sorry for her. Wish to see her again. If met with eyes void of any emotion — any will to live, why would he trouble to pay her another visit? ❝ My son . . . He won’t make it if I’m not around. ❞ She bowed her head for a moment, averted her gaze, when real emotion threatened to slip out.

❝ Do you have a family, doctor? ❞

⋆ ┊ . 𝐼𝒻 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝐿𝑜𝓈𝑒, 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒟𝒾𝑒 ◞ 𝖒𝖊𝖒𝖊 . accepting. ˚ @knightinsourarmor ⤸ ❝ What do you think, doctor? ❞ (from Kuchel, for Grisha. Maybe he pays the underground a visit? 🥺)

Rather hopeless, truly. It was so 𝗨𝗡𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗟𝗬 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗚𝗜𝗖 that he almost wanted to laugh. For what reason had he come down here? That truth was a burden for him and him alone. To find more information even in the darkest corners of this world. A request from a man in the military and a dodgy fellow at that; yes, he could see in his eyes alone just how many he'd killed. But was Grisha no better? Maybe it was from that brief humanity he saw in that man that he'd accepted, or so, he'd like to wish he still had his own still in tact. That it wasn't just opportunist. He was still a doctor, he still wanted to save people.

A brothel, of all places. To find a woman more elegant than most he'd met within the walls. A wilting flower who'd been deprived of sunlight, left to rot down here.

❝ I'd advise rest in your current condition. ❞ Deep down he knows he doesn't have the time to spare. For his work to deviate from an already crucial task. Grisha is a doctor. Does he not have those responsibilities also? He takes a seat in the lone chair, and starts to careful place a package on the bedside table. ❝ This may ease some of your symptoms. Try to take it daily, it's important that you do. ❞

He dare not tell her that someone sent for him. Still under the guise of a wandering doctor, who just so happened to come across her. That was the request after all. But still, how could he fulfil it with such despairing news? He knows he can't dwell on it, but, he's sure, if just given a bit more time, he might have better answers.

❝ I'm afraid I can't provide a definite answer right now. I'd ... like to come back and assess your condition further, if you'll let me. ❞

#( i'm sorry if she doesn't make any sense )#( i don't understand her either )#( she just . . . exists within )#( i love em so much )#worldhell #— tba. thread.#— tba. shingeki no kyojin.#— tba. kuchel ackerman.#— tba. in character (kuchel).#— tba. ft. grisha yeager.#— tba. kuchel & grisha.

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