#คพคพ

[lurkingteapot]

… if I had a penny for every time a P'Aof show had one of the boys pounding away at something with a mortar and pestle in the same episode as we get to see something about that boy and his boyf sharing a first sexual experience together, I'd have two pennies. but it's still strange that it happened twice.

[lurkingteapot]

I rewatched the bus stop scene for Reasons™️ and I'm deep in my Pat feels.

The exchange is subbed in English as "say we're friends" - "no." - "lovers, then" but from what I can tell, in Thai, it's really closer to

Pat: "imagine that you and I are friends--" Pran: "Impossible." Pat: "Okay, that you're my lover(*) then." Pran: "Huh?!"

(* the word he uses is แฟน /fɛːn/, which I'm guessing everyone on BBS twitter recognises by now. Basically boyfriend/girlfriend, but gender neutral? ish)

And that makes that just sliiiightly too long break before Pat is like "it's just so we get a different perspective!!" EVEN WORSE, at least to me. The way Pran looks at Pat, and looks away, and blinks -- he wants that "darling" Pat throws his way to be real so bad.

And then!!

And then, when Pran refuses to be the hottest architecture girl of his year and Pat, without missing a beat, is like "okay, so we're both the respective hottest guys of our faculties, and we're boyfriends", and Pran is still not biting? Pat then the immediate follows that up with "you're the husband, I'm the wife".

I used to see those as separate statements – as Pat immediately falling back on the idea that okay, if boyfriends is out, he'll be a girl for the purpose of this weirdly specific hypothetical scenario he's trying to build. But the more often I watch it, the more I can only read that as "look, just play along, I'm not trying to dig at your masculinity or whatever, I'll be the more feminine partner" (**), because a) this is the exact husband-wife-terminology Pran asks/tells Pat to stop using in ep 9, and b) when Pran scoffs "you're a damn masculine wife," Pat pivots again and starts roleplaying high femme.

And something about how he's so willing, as early as this, to go along with whatever he needs to in order for Pran to be comfortable, to open up, just tugs at my heartstrings. Even now, several full rewatches later.

(**) yes, I know, tons to unpack. not for this post tho.

[lurkingteapot]

God. I'm still thinking …

The way PatPran's parents deal is a lot like the way some homophobic parents deal with the fact that their child is queer.

See, but pretend they don't. Try to ignore it because at some level, they've accepted it won't go away. They could openly accept it, but that would mean admitting they're wrong. Addressing it without acceptance will mean potentially causing irreparable damage to the parent-child relationship -- the child is willing to pretend for the parents in order to be with the other person; if faced with a choice, the child will probably choose their partner.

So everyone is just pretending, because that's what keeps the parent-child relationship alive. Not whole, not as healthy or trusting as it could be, but civil.

P'Aof creating a world largely without homophobia and then doing this at the end … It's painful but also a fucking genius move. Other people will probably have smarter thoughts on this than I do, I'm just floored and up in my feelings, but man. MAN.