#я вірю в дістіель

[afarransilent]

...Але ж як чудово, що хтось таки робить кліпи!... :)

[afarransilent]

Божечки, це прекрасно. І це одна з причин, чому я так люблю Діна, чому я так люблю Діна і Каса, і чому мені так збіса СКЛАДНО дивитися Надприродне - я реально, як і Кас, шалену частину інтелектуального ресурсу витрачаю тупо на те, щоб зрозуміти ПРО ЩО ВЗАГАЛІ МОВА. :)

one of many reasons castiel spent the first year of knowing dean trying not to strangle him: dean’s weird little winchester-only dialect

i’m fucking obsessed with this right now, so buckle in for a meta. a cool fun (horrible) thing about dean’s dialogue is that a good 90% of what comes out of his mouth is:

a pop culture reference (“you’re just gonna take some divine bong hit, and shazam, you’re roma downey?”)

references to real life phenomenon (“i don’t wanna wake up missing a kidney in a bathtub full of ice” “try new mexico, i hear he’s on a tortilla”)

these also often take the form of nicknames, and dean has a tendency to give people nicknames in general or call them something besides their given name, whether it’s affectionate or rude (“easy there, van damme” “so i’m girl interrupted” furthermore castiel = cas, ezekiel = zeke, etc, see also frequent use of “chucklehead” “asshat” and on the nicer/endearments end “buddy” “pal” “sunshine” etc)

an idiom (“a snowball’s chance” “if it smells like a duck…”)

slang (“drinking the koolaid” “jonesing for some hooch” not to mention the literal endless amount of words dean uses to refer to killing - gank, waste, juice, ice, etc)

a metaphor (“power up your batteries” “fly me back to my page on the calendar”)

a euphemism (“cloud seeding” “i’d have given you an hour alone with her first”)

sarcasm (his habit of replying “peachy” or “super” when asked how he is)

wordplay (see: the entire “vampirate” and “werepire” debacles)

completely nonsensical (guessing what happened to a magical artifact: “it was dug up by tomb raiders? it was seized by the king of the dead by warlords?”)

said at lightning speed - if you pay attention, dean actually talks a LOT, usually a mile a minute (this makes me feel a way when you recall him being nonverbal for a year at age 4 but that’s another post)

slang IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE (casual usage of “guano,” etc)

a lie, a deflection, a joke, etc

or worse, something dean’s NOT saying, deliberately, because he’s one of the most repressed people on earth

the end result of all this being:

dean winchester is utterly infuckingcomprehensible. 

think about this. there’s an ENTIRE SECTION on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE PAGE of the spn wiki devoted to JUST explaining dean’s pop culture references, because the average viewer won’t have seen everything he’s talking about either. they have a whole page for this called “hunter’s lingo,” but honestly, it’s not all hunters, just sam and dean’s fucking batshit communication style. even i don’t understand dean half the time. SAM gets it, sam speaks it back to dean a lot in the early seasons, but that’s because sam and dean are 1. practically two halves of the same person 2. FREAKS. every time we get an episode that involves outsider POV is devoted to them going “what the fuck is WRONG with them?”

enter castiel. technically speaking, the show implies that angels are omnilingual. castiel should understand every language known to man, but knowing the meaning of words doesn’t help him understand the following:

pop culture references

references to real life phenomenon

nicknames

idioms

slang

metaphors

euphemisms

sarcasm

wordplay

you get the idea.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. castiel cannot understand a single fucking word that comes out of dean’s mouth. my guy laid a hand on dean winchester in hell and immediately fell in love with him and has no fucking idea what he’s talking about ever. because not only is dean winchester’s way of speaking CLINICALLY insane, and sometimes incomprehensible even to other human beings who are not sam, castiel is an angel, and someone prone to taking things even more literally than other angels do

go back and watch and watch seasons 4-5 especially. the reason cas does so much squinting and head tilting is because every time dean opens his mouth castiel has to open up his mental “dean winchester dictionary” and translate entire paragraphs on the fly, because again, dean never shuts up!

what makes this extra hilarious to me is this gem:

this line is from 5.13. at this point cas has known dean for AN ENTIRE YEAR AND A HALF. what you see here is my guy SNAPPING. cas made an EFFORT in this scene. he asked who glenn close was. he’s telling dean that he can’t understand him. he is doing his level best to have a normal conversation with this guy he has a crush on and for the life of him he cannot do it (equal but opposite energy to cas blowing up the gas station and motel room in 4.01, tbh)

yes, cas can understand dean’s tone. he can use context clues, and he usually gets the general idea. and when cas DOES understand dean’s jokes, he laughs at them. the first time we ever see him smile is during their 4.07 heart-to-heart when dean says “it was a witch, not the tet offensive.” since cas has knowledge of human history, he knows what the tet offensive is; he got the joke, and he laughed.

but as far as actual dialogue goes, he consistently struggles to keep up. even after metatron gives castiel the pop culture knowledge in season 9, cas struggles to put it to put it to proper use (dean: “you wanna just walk right into the death star?” cas: “what does a fictional battle station have to do with this?”). whenever he asks dean to clarify it’s always when he’s most annoyed, like most of the time he knows it would be futile but he’s too annoyed to care. (dean: “i don’t know who’s on first, what’s on second!” cas: “what IS second???”) i’m pretty sure he spends seasons 4-6 wanting to shake dean by the shoulders and ask him why he is LIKE THIS. 

it takes cas - who, again, is omnilingual - YEARS to begin to acclimate to dean’s speech and start speaking that language back to him. it’s season 8 before we start really hearing him use slang, season 9 before he begins to understand wordplay, season 10 before he starts using pop culture references (to other angels, who immediately fail to understand him, which disappoints him immensely), and season 11 before he really gets into metaphors. i don’t remember what season he started using “yeah” instead of “yes” but i do know it took a really damn long time. 

and honestly, i don’t think cas truly got the hang of it until at least season 11-12. that’s something like 7 or 8 YEARS. it’s more than half the time they’ve known each other at the point of the series finale. 

so what’s true romance, fellas? it’s falling completely and totally in love with the most inexplicable person you will ever meet in your whole 4.5 billion year life, even though you have yet to understand a single thing he’s ever said to you. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[spn masterpost]

[afarransilent]

Що ж. Три місяці знадобилося мені, щоб вляпатися з головою в цю історію, яку люди створювали і дивилися П'ЯТНАДЦЯТЬ, сцуко, РОКІВ. Щоб увійти в неї, пройти і вийти. Давно мене так нічим не накривало.

З поганого: я думав, п'ятнадцятий сезоне мене доб'є. Можливо, колись мені захочеться передивитися його ще раз, але вже без цього передчуття невідворотної втрати, яке, насправді, отруїло для мене весь перегляд.

З хорошого: ця історія мала якось закінчитися. І це - не найгірший з можливих варіантів.

Ще з хорошого: я, здається, повернувся до фанфіка. Бо в якийсь момент натхнення мені геть відбило. А тепер, може, допишу. На Дінову днюху вже не встигну, та все ж.

[afarransilent]

SPN s13ep1

Ну звісно, цьому всесвіту треба більше, ще більше персонажів у спектрі. :)

Цікаво, як Джек відтворює міміку Каса у ранніх сезонах - ті ж насуплені брови, ті ж зосереджені намагання зрозуміти, що йому кажуть... :) Окремо цікаво, що мене це не бісить.

А взагалі такий собі початок сезону. Болючий дуже.

Буду віддано чекати на повернення всіх, кого люблю.

Це ж у мене, як ми вже з'ясували, окрема дисципліна: чекати-на-повернення-Кастіеля.

[afarransilent]

Чомусь завжди страшенно лякає той момент, коли треба натиснути кнопочку Post на АО3. :)

Але я це зробив. Перший розділ "Повернення" - вже на сайті.

***

- Ладлоу, штат Мен.

- І що з ним? – Дін кинув на брата скептичний погляд одним оком; друге він поки що вирішив не відкривати – не так часто за останні тижні йому вдавалося заснути і проспати більше трьох годин поспіль. Але вчорашня доза віскаря таки здійснила належний терапевтичний вплив: Дін провалився у чорне небуття десь по першій, а прокинувся от тільки зараз від Семового вигуку. З вікна на підлогу рівнесеньким прямокутником лягало ранкове світло.

- Схоже, там є для нас робота.

- Цікава робота чи просто собі робота?

- За тиждень - три повідомлення про напади тварин. З летальним результатом.

- Вовкулака або гуль… В крайньому разі – перевертень. Нецікаво, - Дін знову заплющив очі, демонструючи намір доспати своє, але раптом гмикнув і сів на ліжку (ну, на тому, що слугувало ліжком). – Стривай. Ти сказав «Ладлоу»? Ладлоу у штаті Мен?

- Саме це я і я сказав. Ладлоу, Мен, напади тварин, три добряче поїджених тіла.

- Ти знущаєшся з мене.

- В сенсі? Що не так?

Дін зітхнув і закотив очі.

- Збирайся. З’їздимо туди і подивимося, де місцеві ховають домашніх улюбленців...

[afarransilent]

Ауч! Ці двоє... :(

i'm sorry to be actually insane about their hands in this scene but LOOK AT THEM!!! the way that dean pulls cas so roughly to him but doesn't actually lift him off the ground at all???? AND FUCKK THE WAY THAT CAS'S THUMB BASICALLY CARESSES DEAN'S HAND. like he's LITERALLY trying to comfort him???? i will NEVER EVER be normal about this scene at all

[afarransilent]

Бути мною - це крутити уявні фанкліпи в своїй голові під кожну пісню, що грає в навушниках. Під "Wish You Were Here" Blackmore's Night - звісно ж, дістіельний кліпчик.

I wish you were here Don't you know the snow is getting colder And I miss you like hell And I'm feeling blue

I've got feelings for you Do you still feel the same? From the first time I laid my eyes on you I felt joy of living I saw heaven in your eyes, in your eyes...

А під "911" Океану Ельзи - Дін/Імпала. 😅

Ти моя остання любов, Моя машина, моя машина. Ти i я напилися знов...

Бути мною - це ніколи не втілювати ці кліпи в життя і сміятися тихенько сам з собою.

[afarransilent]

Багато, багато, багато дістіеля.

Божечки, коли мене відпустить? Божечки, хай мене не відпускає! :)

[afarransilent]

Деталька, від якої мене роз'їбало найсильніше: відбиток долоні на Діновім плечі - в s4ep1 та в s15ep18. :(

[afarransilent]

Цей момент давно вже привертає мою увагу, бо це, справді, момент, коли Діну тицьнули в обличчя його власними почуттями, неначе вогнем. А якщо цей момент і справді не був запланований, якщо це імпровізація Коллінза і спонтанна реакція Еклза - все стає іще цікавіше!

hmm. thinking about how casifer's mocking "cas" in hell's angel was misha improvising. thinking about dean's reaction to this line

and how technically it was a jensen reaction since the line wasn't scripted and yet. and YET. it's not jensen it's dean. they kept it in and so it is dean. and it's SO interesting because this moment is such a microcosm of the overall destiel experience because this was NOT supposed to happen dean was NOT supposed to be confronted with the truth of his feelings for cas and how they affect him and make him act and yet. somehow. here we are. here is lucifer, mocking dean for being in love with cas. here is dean, shocked, completely taken aback. this is not something he talks about, is not something he acknowledges. the narrative does not let him. until it does, until it is forced to, until something outside the confines of the narrative breaks through and says "hey! i see you. i see what this is." and we get a moment of feelings brought to the surface, feelings acknowledged, even if only for a brief second.

[afarransilent]

SPN s13ep23

Ну що сказати.

Десь так ми з Касом дивимося у наступний сезон.

[afarransilent]

Ух, тут є над чим помедитувати)

Look I’m really not one to put much stock in actor opinions. The show is what we see on screen in front of us and the story we’ve been watching for years. With that said, it is really validating to have Jensen confirm what a lot of us, me included, have been saying for years. Cas is not human. Dean hasn’t fully understood where he stands with him and his importance in Cas’ life for a lot of the show’s run. Some of the times he thought he did, Cas would do something Dean didn’t expect and it would leave him dazed. Think back to the heartbreaking events of 6x20, hell all of season 6 as a whole where from Dean’s perspective Cas didn’t trust him, perhaps even chose heaven over him. 

Or season 7 when Cas comes back and Dean feels like he broke the angel, and is even told as much by Hester 

“The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost!”

Or season 8 when Dean battled his way through purgatory for a year to get to Cas and he still left him. That broke Dean’s sense of self so much that he created a fake memory rather than deal with the realisation that Cas didn’t want to be with him. Or when Cas left him after Dean pleaded with him on his knees and told him that he needed him. Naomi even taunted him with Cas’ indifference, telling Dean “I only wish he felt the same way.”

Dean came to a realisation by the s8 finale that Cas wasn’t human. That he couldn’t stay by Dean’s side and be in his life forever “So this is it? ET goes home.”

There’s a whole lot going on in season 9, but I always think back to the phone call between Dean and Cas in 9x09, when Cas tells him that he got his grace back. Dean’s reply is “And you’re ok with that?” 

Cas as per usual avoids the question, and tells him “he did what he had to do” and Dean actually seems like he’s going to push further on that until Cas stops because they’ve got a bigger life and death problem on their hands in that moment. 

How about season 10, when Cas returns just in time to stop demon dean from killing Sam and helps to cure him, but then leaves with another angel immediately after? 

Cas is going through a very rough time in season 11 and dealing with a lot of trauma, but Dean doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know about how the angels tortured him for being too close to the Winchesters, Dean in particular. He doesn’t know that they killed Hannah, the one angel he was still on good terms with and his last real connection to his old home and family in heaven. Cas feels so useless he says yes to Lucifer because he only sees himself as a weapon, a tool for the more important players to wield. 

I think by season 12 Dean has started to realise a little that Cas is struggling, but he doesn’t see the full extent of it. He doesn’t see how Cas acted when him and Sam were in prison and he couldn’t find them. He has no idea what Cas is going through during the events of 12x19. He thinks he understands for a few minutes, but by the end he’s completely lost. He even says in 12x20

“last night when I looked at him i did not recognise the guy staring back at me.”

Even after Cas’ returns from the dead in s13, and gives Dean back his will to live, almost immediately he goes to see the angels to try find Jack and refuses to let Dean go with him, and then proceeds to go off on his own for x number of episodes (I can’t remember how many.) Of course he didn’t really, he was kidnapped, but Dean didn’t know that. In his mind, Cas came back and then immediately left again.

There’s a whole separate essay to write about Dean, Cas and Jack, but let’s just say there’s a lot going on there, regardless of how it all worked out in the end and they ultimately became family. But for the purposes of this post lets just there is broken trust and fractured loyalties involved.

On the other hand there are also those moments when Dean starts to suspect quite how deeply Cas might feel for him. Like when he gave up his whole angel army for Dean in 9x22. I don’t think the importance of that was lost on Dean. Or when Cas gave him the most emotional hug in 11x23 and offered to walk to his death with him. Or when he returned in 12x01 and Cas launched himself at Dean, breathless with relief.

I think 12x10 was a big one too, Dean heard Ishim refer to him as Cas’ human weakness, but there are two sides to that. He saw what Ishim’s idea of love was, how twisted it was and what he did to the human he supposedly “loved.” Now in no way do I think Dean thought of Cas’ version of love the same way but it was another reminder that love between angels and humans is different. It’s forbidden and angels don’t really understand how it works. 

12x12 is another one where I think Dean does have a moment of “holy shit Cas does understand love. He feels it, he gets it!” But it’s also soon followed up by the events of 12x19, which puts Dean through the ringer Cas wise.

There’s a lot more in 13, 14 and 15 to get through but this is already long and I think the point it clear. We see that this isn’t the full story because we’ve seen Cas’ side of it all. Dean hasn’t. I think there are occasional moments where Dean has a tentative sense of what he means to Cas, but he can never quite be sure. And that’s exactly the point

It took a very long time for even Cas to understand his feelings and priorities, not just about Dean but about everything, how is Dean expected to know when he’s only seeing part of the picture? 

Falling is a messy, complicated thing. When Anna fell, she told Dean she had to give up her grace to feel human things. Save for a brief spell a few years ago, Cas has still had his grace. He learned to feel, to become part of a human family, all while still being a celestial being. To accept that a cosmic force could love you so fully and completely is something that seems almost incomprehensible, especially to someone as filled with self loathing and feelings of inadequacy as Dean, and especially when they haven’t actually told you or been fully honest about how they feel. 

But now Cas has. He revealed himself fully to Dean, and Dean has to reconcile that with the uncertainty he has always felt about his place in Cas’ life. He needs to recalibrate. Cas’ confession changed everything. It’s why this isn’t the end of their story. It’s just the beginning.

[afarransilent]

Мої кохані котики і їхні телефонні розмови. 💚💙

FOR  @angelcaswinchester ‘s 6K FOLLOWER CELEBRATION — day two: late-night phone calls

+ evil bonus:

[afarransilent]

Одна з улюблених сцен одного з улюблених епізодів.

7.17 - The Born-Again Identity - for DESTIEL’S 2ND ANNIVERSARY EVENT by @destiversary - Day 4: Season 7

[afarransilent]

Ніяк не можу відійти від переглянутої вчора 15-18. І всі ці погляди і прощання крають мені серце.

14x12 Prophet and Loss

[afarransilent]

Ауч! Це так мило!))

Misha Collins NJcon 2023