#˖ ⭑₊˚ the mother — lori grimes.

[sylvies-chen]

the carl mention in this ep is still weighing on me so much because it was just so beautiful the way his memory lives on but also it got me thinking: you ever think that lori would be so relieved right now that rick and michonne have found each other because michonne is for rick what lori couldn’t be for him and also because there is at least someone other than rick who is still alive to mourn her son when so many others either can’t or aren’t…

[marvelstarwarshero]

Still not over Beth practically being Judith's first mother and everyone just never mentioning her again 💔

And as much as I absolutely love Judith and Michonne's relationship, Judith's braid better be for Beth

[eileennatural]

sitting around emotionally compromised thinking abt how big and loud rick grimes' feelings are and by comparison how quiet carl is. sure, carl gets angry and picks fights but when is he loud or expressive? they have the same dynamic in almost all of their most devastating moments. after lori's death, rick is screaming, crying, rolling on the ground and carl is just standing there quietly and alone. when negan makes rick think he has to cut off carl's arm, rick is crying and begging and carl just quietly tells him to do it. when carl is dying, he's reassuring rick that he was a good father. hmm interesting

[atopvisenyashill]

if i did a reread of the walking dead and wrote an essay on how aegon ii and carl are doomed to be the last man standing by their narratives, and what starts out as a sort of cool & nifty super power of always surviving turns into this horrific curse where everyone they know is dying around them & sometimes it’s their fault & sometimes it’s not but either way they can’t ever stop it until they’re sitting at the ending with nothing but their lone daughter to protect but so broken they can no longer connect to her and then their story abruptly ends-

would that be like the Most stupid, nerdy thing i have ever done in my life or

[trckstaer]

˖ ⭑₊˚ Tag drop 6/8. Like this for memes from my tv muses ! Specify muse or I roulette you ! ( This is a clever ploy to retag everything but make the spam bearable )

[sora-of-uranus]

Perhpas I'm misunderstanding this entire thing, but Loris pregnancy seems to be treated so cruely by the show in season 2. She has valid reasons of being worried about it, and a valid (though understandably problematic) reason to not tell Rick.

Yet when Rick shouts at her for not telling him, for taking the pills, for taking that choice from him...he's treated as the 'correct' side? Going as far for him to say "you threw them up you want this"...no. no that does not mean she wants this. We as viewers have just seen her have multiple on screen struggles with making the morally correct choice. we see her still struggle to make that choice seconds before swallowing them.

And I get Maggies anger at her- her hiding the pregnancy and the 'carless' sex she had almost endangered not only her but Glenns life. I get Glenn talking to her and giving her advice (but also making sure that she knows he isn't telling her what to do) because he's been forced to keep so many secrets and also risked his life. He comes to her with a respectful, friend type convosation where he urges her to tell but also understand that at the end of the day it is her choice. Beyond the shock and the pain of not knowing, Ricks reaction just screams male rage without listening to her genuine fears. Idk I just...It's so odd. It's a valid thing to get emotional over but the show seemingly agrees with Rick's side and beyond asking the question of 'what if' doesn't agree with her's like it does Ricks.

I'm sorry, but pregnancy isn't an easy thing in our normal world let alone in an apocalypse setting. Rick doesn't get a choice, it's not HIS ass whose being endangerd with 9 months of pregnancy, a childbirth in unsafe and unclean conditions, and then raising that kid. HE can leave- and he (probally?) won't but he COULD. The show treats the dicussion of her pregnancy as though it's set in our normal universe were as she treats it as a pregnancy in an apocalypse. And she is punished by both RIck and Shane for that outlook.

[clinicsharmartia]

(S3xEP4)

Oh Lori Grimes, they could never make me hate you

[flutterbyoz]

It seems there are still some people out there who wish to belittle, disregard and reject Michonne's importance to Rick. So for those who seem to have such a problem with Rick and Michonne let me just say:

This is Michonne Grimes

She is everything to Rick Grimes. His partner, his lover, his confidant, his best friend, his saviour, the mother of his children, his sun, moon and stars, she is his wife, his soulmate and the love of his life. She is his entire universe, his reason for everything and he would choose her in any life and any universe.

Contrary to what I've seen some people say, Rick would not walk away from Michonne if Lori miraculously returned from the dead, he would not do so if Jessie came back either. Had Lori or Jessie lived, Rick and Michonne still would have found their way to each other because they are meant to be, in any lifetime and in any and all versions of reality.

Rick is the man who didn't think of moving on even after 8 years, who wrote love letters and dreamt about her to keep himself going, and lets not forget what he had to do just to be able to go on without her. And for Michonne, she couldn't truly believe he was gone despite the fact she saw the bridge he was stood on literally explode, she kept believing and searching for years, never moved on and went through hell to find him again.

The Walking Dead and especially The Ones Who Live have made it exceptionally clear what their relationship is, how important they are to each other, how deep and unbreakable their love is and how they would go to the ends of the earth for each other. Not everyone is going to feel a connection to Richonne, I get that and I'm not trying to say otherwise (despite the fact I don't think I'll ever understand how anyone can watch their love story and not fall completely in love with their love!) but canon is canon, you can not feel a connection to them and still respect their story and acknowledge that they are 'it' for each other. To disregard that is to ignore their whole story.

Michonne Grimes is Rick Grimes one true love, she is his whole world, she and their children are his priority, he will put them before anyone else, and yes, even above Daryl. So, while we are all entitled to an opinion no one can really deny that Rick and Michonne are completely and utterly head over heels in love, someone's personal view of them as a couple does not change that fact.

This is THE couple of The Walking Dead and IMO the best couple to have ever graced the screen. They are everything to me and they are everything to each other

[thatonelovingwalker]

Carl Grimes x GN reader

///TW: none💗///

Summary: you see Carl with Judith and wonder if he would want a child of his own.

Walking along the sidewalk lining your neighborhood, you heard the cooing of a baby. You immediately recognized it as Judith. Carl always walked Judith at this time, and you had just recently started walking with them.

You and Carl have been together for about three months now, and Judith has become really close to you.

Her noises got louder as you rounded the corner, and saw that she was patiently waiting for you in her stroller.

“Judith! Good morning,” you told her, letting her grasp at your hands.

You looked up to Carl and saw him looking at you as if he was seeing you for the first time. As if he saw Christmas lights brightening before him, rapping him in warmth and the feeling of safety.

“Good morning, Carl,” you told him, walking around to give him a peck. He returned it gratefully, taking ahold of your hand.

“Ready?” Was all Carl asked, making you nod.

The three of you started walking, listening to the silence that surrounded you both.

It was quiet for about fifteen minutes, and that was when Judith started to fuss.

“Nap time, Judy?” Carl asked her, circling around to pick her up.

Carl gently cradled Judith in his arms, rocking back and forth on his heels. He was whispering to her, trying to calm her down, and all you could do was watch.

He was so good with kids, especially Judith. Whenever he was with any of the younger members, he treated them as if they were his blood. As if they were his own children. It made you yearn for a normal world. One where it wouldn’t be a life or death decision.

But you knew that if it were to ever happen, whether it’s with you or another, he would be absolutely perfect.

“You’d make a great dad,”

“What?”

Carl turned to you, shock all over his face. He didn’t look upset, but he looked distracted.

And you that was when you realized you said it out loud. You didn’t mean it to slip. It just happened.

Even with his surprised features, he still looked even more fatherly with Judith calming in his arms. His hat and eye patch displayed experience, ones that he had learned from. The gun strapped to his leg showed he was capable. You knew he would be everything you ever needed. Everything any child needed.

“You’d make a great father…” you said a little bit more softly. You stayed where you were.

You saw his breathing pattern change. It was the one thing you could catch before he muttered, “Let me go put Judith down,” before turning away from you.

He left you with a sense of regret. Why did you say that?

You found yourself sitting on the couch, listening to Carl shush Judith to sleep a few rooms down. You had no idea if he knew you were there, but you waited, hoping you didn’t ruin things.

When Carl expressed what happened with his mother, Lori, and how he had to put her down for the sake of Judith, your heart broke.

Maybe mentioning anything to do with a baby was a bad idea.

You no longer heard Carl. His whispers or humming. Just footsteps. Heavy footsteps. You didn’t dare watch him, no matter how much you were dying to.

You felt the couch shift with his weight, and you knew he sat closer to you on purpose.

“You really think so?”

You could barely hear him, but you understood completely what he meant. You turned to face him, and was met with his pleading eyes. He looked so vulnerable in this moment, you just wanted to smother him with cuddles and hold him.

“I do.”

“Well, I think you’d make a great (mother/father), y/n. You’d be amazing,” Carl grasped your hand with one of his heart stopping smiles.

“Doubtful,” you said, trying to be playful. Carl picked up on it.

All he said in return was, “How about we try and see?”

[cultofdixon]

Motherly Instincts

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • It doesn’t go unnoticed how much you put your love into everyone in the group. Especially the Grimes’ kids. Daryl could only wish you’d take care of yourself • TW: Canon Violence / Sleep Deprivation / Anxiety / Over-Protectiveness

Requested by: Anon

Everyone knew about Y/N’s relationship with the Grimes’ kids. She cares about them deeply and when Lori passed, one would say she took that motherly role out of a natural instinct. When the infusion of Woodbury folk came into the prison, Y/N has even been mistaken as Judith and Carl’s mother and of course people corrected them. Even her.

But even if she may not be their mother, or their blood for those who care about that aspect…she could careless what others say, nothing will stop her from protecting them as if they were her children.

Daryl always had a soft spot for kids and seeing Y/N with them, his fondness for her only grew. Even when their luxury of a community came crashing down with the return of the Governor…

The archer was only thankful to have found Y/N within the woods the second people started fleeing from the prison once the walkers and fire came through. They had Beth with them and even from their farm days, Y/N cared deeply for the girl.

“You think we’ll find the others?” Beth asks Daryl first as his neutral expression gave no clear answer but she knew he wasn’t very hopeful.

“If we don’t, they will find us” Y/N reassures the young Greene. “Maggie will do anything to find her family and with that said, we’ll also do our best”

As they found temporary shelter within the forest after running for some time, Y/N finished getting the fire going as Daryl finished with the trigger line of cans or anything he found from the trunk they all found shelter in when the herd came through.

Beth did her best to help even if trying to cut more like for Daryl resulted in her nicking her finger.

“Let me see” Y/N took her knife away for a second to check the cut as she used a bit of the water from a bottle they found to clean it. “I’ll help Daryl finish. You go ahead and get some sleep, okay?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, we’ll keep watch” She smiles picking up the string she was cutting and went ahead to help Daryl as he had paused to watch the two for a moment before finishing the job.

Once more of the night took them…Daryl sat propped up against a tree that connected two of the trigger lines as he watches Y/N rub soothing circles on Beth’s back while her head rest in her lap. She was wide awake and didn’t seem to be getting sleep any time soon but that didn’t stop Daryl from keeping himself awake.

Even if his exhaustion took him once that when he woke, it was morning and the fire was set ablaze once more. He quickly scrambled when no one was around but Beth was quick to make herself known.

“Sorry, Y/N said to leave you sleep more…”

“And where is she?” His worry spilled in his tone as Beth gestured into the woods.

The archer didn’t even get far after rising when Y/N made herself known to the two carrying a squirrel which resulted in a satisfied sigh from Daryl and a disgusted look from Beth.

Once the three sort of replenished themselves and set off to scavenge while also find any trace of the others…they only seemed to get themselves further into what else lies in the apocalypse.

Beth spotted a sign for a country club so they’ve decided to check it out and collect some things if needed. Daryl was the first to step into the building finding the hanging walkers as it brought an overall unpleasant feeling to the three. Y/N watches Daryl kneel down to collect some of the money and valuables he saw as she couldn’t help the scoff to escape her.

“What?”

“You think that stuff is more useful than food and water?” She was just being honest and it left the man a bit dumbfounded until walkers started banging on the door they came through.

“Come on!” Daryl exclaims gesturing the two to flood in as Y/N grabbed his shirt forcing him to enter along with her.

Throughout the entire place they found new clothes to replace whatever may be torn on their person and a few things that can carry water. The food was scarce and questionable. Beth found herself in a few predicaments with walkers but she handled them, even if the worry written all over Y/N’s face came out clear as day when she’d find her over the now dead walker after taking it out.

“Are you alright, hun?” Y/N frowns as Beth nods giving a reassuring smile before continuing on her way. She locked eyes with Daryl who came to check on them both as her body tensed slightly thinking of the others. “What?”

“She can handle herself” He exhales bringing his gaze to the floor. “Don’t gotta hover” and with that he continued on his sweep of the place.

After being in that place for a while, experiencing more than what they signed up for. The three started to move again…finding a chapel of some sorts or more so a cemetery with a church like building in the center of it all. Beth sprained her ankle resulting in Daryl carrying her on his back and Y/N taking care of any walker in their path, which he didn’t want. He wanted to take care of her.

“Here, prop it up” Y/N moved the other chair that Beth wasn’t set in to put her ankle up while Daryl checked the cupboards. “Anything good?”

“Got some pigs feet and jam. Sounds like my kind of meal” He jokes while handing Y/N a jar of jam as he expected her to look for a spoon but couldn’t help but stare when she scooped a good glob of it on her fingers.

Y/N glared back at his staring making him scoff followed by a short lived chuckle as he handed Beth the canteen of water they’ve got. They didn’t take everything, just enough to satisfy the achy feeling from being hungry and leaving the rest for whoever comes by.

But it wasn’t that simple.

It felt as if it was an unsettling sign for more bad shit to happen when a dog came on their doorstep stuck in the trigger line Daryl set up. Y/N went out completely to go after the dog because in her words “she has a soft spot for them” and it could lead to more people. But when both the archer and young Greene thought it was her return with the soft pound on the door—-it wasn’t.

Then everything went sideways. The two struggled to get out and once they did, they separated long enough for this mysterious car to come snatch up Beth. Daryl chased the vehicle for as long as he could but without his bike he couldn’t get far.

Lost the prison

Lost his family

Lost…

Daryl’s frustration left him defeated in the middle of the road as he thought about giving it up right then and there. But there was still a small possibility of finding any of the others that could’ve found his…yeah. While out there.

But of course he had to get tied in with a bunch of bad apples that reminded him of people Merle used to associate himself with during their drifter days. He simply wished that this Joe guy wasn’t talking about someone he cared about in terms of getting revenge for the death of one of his own.

Yet again, that was asking for a lot in the end of the world.

“These are good people…” Daryl frowns watching Joe keep Rick in a hold as he exhaled a dry laugh.

“See…now that’s where you lie” Joe hissed letting one of the Claimers force Daryl against the hood of the truck.

The second Daryl made impact, he was about to fight until he noticed something coming through the treeline. He couldn’t make out the image until suddenly a javelin like object came barreling through almost nicking him but getting the claimer square in the face.

“What the fu—-“ The claimer grabbing Carl was suddenly thrown off the kid as he quickly locks eyes with a bloodied Y/N. “Wait wait wait I wasn’t gonna—-“

Y/N didn’t even give it a second thought when shooting the guy as the gunfire led Michonne to quickly swiping the claimer pinning her with her katana. Then Rick instantly ripped the leader’s throat out before the remaining claimers could take in what just happened. Daryl quickly pulled the javelin Y/N had thrown out of the dead claimer taking out those remaining.

Once they were down, Daryl pulled the javelin out of the dead tossing it aside when he realized it splintered and is of no use anymore. He quickly brought his attention to Y/N who he wanted to shower with questions of where she was but she was currently latched onto Carl holding him protectively after what could’ve happened.

When the few decided to rest for the night, Daryl took first watch and was about to check on Y/N when she came to him instead.

“Are you hurt?” He instantly asks even if her eyes told him she was going to ask the same of him while she carefully brought her hand to his cheek. “I’m okay”

“I’m sorry for running after that dog…it was just that until this car came out of nowhere and—-“

“Took Beth…how far did yea get?”

“Not far. Got stuck in a mini herd and didn’t want to come back to you in case….” Y/N shrugged the obvious end to that sentence as Daryl’s concern only grew but she gave him a small smile. “I’m fine. Ended up surviving with their blood covering me…then traced back to the cemetery then the road…and here we are”

“Don’t…don’t stray again alright?”

“I promise”

And she did. She did for more than the archer, but for their family and the newbies that came along when the horrors of this sanctuary was one with cannibalistic tendencies…

It was the first of many tragedies.

When they found Beth and devised a plan or more so a trade for their family, no one expected her to get one last shot in…one simply wishes she didn’t have to die as a result. Rick was taken aback by the sudden gunfire as Daryl didn’t hesitate to put this Dawn bitch into the ground after taking out someone he deeply cared for.

The screams that escaped the eldest Greene—-the only Greene, will forever haunt those who’ve heard it. Daryl and Y/N especially.

The universe kept taking unfortunately. Tyreese was next and that brought a bit of self blame onto Noah as he avoided Sasha’s gaze every chance he got even when she got the group some food…we don’t talk about that.

After some time alone, Daryl returned from what was a needed moment even if he noticed Y/N’s worried expression when she caught a glimpse of what he done. But he brushed it off when Rick approached him with the sign that went with the mysterious water.

“Think it’s poisoned?” Daryl asks while the one that annoys him most currently, Eugene, bent down and picked up one of the bottles.

Abraham instantly smacked the bottle out of his hand once he unscrewed the top before smacking him upside the head. “Are you mad?!”

“We won’t know unless someone tries it!”

“Just because you screwed with us with useless information, doesn’t mean we want you dead” Rosita adds with a hidden debatable look from Glenn that no one noticed.

“We just need to hold out a little longer. We’ll find something” Y/N was quick to add and it was instantly met with a scoff from Sasha. “What?”

“I’m surprised you lived this long with that optimism of yours”

“At least there’s still someone with optimism in this group” Carol cuts in with a bit of a defensive tone for her family as Daryl was about to bite in. “We’ll give the last of our safe collected water to Jude and Carl, a few more days on the road won’t kill us”

“I agree” Y/N finishes such and before any more words could be exchanged, the cosmic whatever decided to grace them finally after all it’s taken.

The rain fell and it brought a few laughs from some, but much needed silence from others. Y/N shrugged her jacket off to cover Judith from the rain as Abraham and Carol went ahead with filling the bottles with the collected rain water. When the rain started to pick up into more of a storm, then Rick shouted for everyone to find shelter for the night and that led Daryl to reveal the barn he found from his moment before.

The barn was much needed even with the scare of it collapsing at least once because of the herd coming through. But finally…a moment to collect themselves and rest…

Daryl came back inside to switch from his watch with Sasha as he noticed Y/N fighting off sleep when watching Judith sleep comfortably in her father’s embrace and Carl struggle to sleep on the dirt ground of the barn. He wondered when the last she slept was and brought himself closer to her but stalled when he watches her gently stir the young Grimes.

“Come here…I’ve gotcha” Y/N whispers gesturing for Carl to lay in her arms and he was hesitant at first until he eventually brought himself into her arms. “I’m here…” she whispers to him as her words finally led him to relax resting his head against her chest.

“Go sit with her” Carol whispered to Daryl knowing of his feelings and how in the moment he worried for her. “Give her something to rest her head on” she pat his shoulder to make it obvious as he quietly brought himself to the corner of the barn where she sat with Carl curled up in her embrace.

As the archer got comfortable beside her, he watches her bring her jacket to cover Carl as he finally fell asleep.

“You should sleep” Daryl whispers to her as she tiredly brought her gaze to him a moment when she had her head rested on top of Carl’s.

“I’m okay”

“You’re not” He kept his voice low to keep the Grimes kid from waking. “I’ll keep you safe. You’ve got him, let me take care of yea”

The smile that graced her features that night he will keep to memory, especially the feeling of her warmth on him when Y/N finally laid against Daryl with Carl comfortably in her embrace. He brought his arm around her keeping her close and glaring at anything and everything that dared wake either of them.

[zombiigrll]

FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR YOU. ⋆｡°✩ carl grimes x reader .ᐟ WORD COUNT .ᐟ ⭑ 3.7K (JESUS.) ꩜ .ᐟ WARNINGS ⭑ angst + comfort (mostly angst), retelling of the walking dead 8x8 (so slight spoilers), use of y/n, reader death, blood, your regular zombie apocalypse warnings, cursing, kissing, mostly just sad stuff!! .ᐟ A/N .ᐟ i am SO SORRY for how INSANELY LONG this is. it took me like 3-4 hours to write oh my god. hope you guys enjoy anyhow though<3

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carl told you he was going on a run to find the man the two of you had spotted at the gas station. you begged to go, and eventually, he caved. the two of you had known each other since the start, being neighbors and all. you were in his house while you waited for lori to get ready to take the two of you to school, and thats when everything went down. with all of the things he saw you do, he knew you could take care of yourself.

...or he thought you could.

the two of you were lucky enough to find the man from the gas station and you found out his name was siddiq.

"i'm gonna ask you a few questions. i need you to answer honestly, okay?" carl told siddiq.

"..okay." siddiq nodded.

"how many walkers have you killed?" siddiq looks around, thinking. "i know it's hard to keep track-"

"237."

"really?" you raised an eyebrow, impressed, but skeptical.

"give or take a couple." siddiq shrugged.

carl nodded in response before continuing. "how many people have you killed?"

"one." the man averted his gaze to the ground.

"why?"

"the dead tried to kill him, but... they didn't." he explained, looking back up at the two of you.

"you've been making walker traps? is that how you've been killing all of them?" you asked, crossing your arms as you looked at the scenery of traps and the deceased walkers behind him.

"it's only part of it. my mom thought- or hoped- that killing them would free their souls. you know?" he clarified, seemingly upset but proud talking about his mother.

"doing that, doesn't that just make things harder for you while you're trying to survive?" carl inquired, furrowing his brows.

"i don't know.. i.. but you.. you gotta honor your parents, right?"

...

the three of you had been walking for a little while before you guys came across a couple walkers in the distance, crouching down near a tree.

"okay. for your mom." carl smiles and siddiq before facing you, signaling for you to join.

you grabbed your knife that was holstered across your waist, stepping forward alongside siddiq and carl. but shortly after, there was too many. at first it only seemed like a couple, enough for just the three of you to take care of quickly. but they began coming in from other sides of the forest, and you were cornered. you were stepping back to try and get more distance, but you twisted your ankle on a tree root, causing you to topple on top of the tree laying on the ground. the walkers began limping towards you as you looked frantically around for where your knife had went. but you were too late. two of the walkers were down on the ground, one on top of you and the other on your side. you tried your best to push the one over you with one of your hands while searching the ground for your knife with the other one.

*chomp!*

a pain rushed through your side, but you didn't think much of at that point due to feeling the handle of your knife, quickly picking it up and jamming it through the skull of the walker on your side, then into the one in front of you, pushing it off of you.

right as you did so, you were met with carl staring at you wide-eyed.

"oh my god, you're covered in blood." he ran over to you, crouching down next to you and grabbing your hand. "are- are you bit?"

he helped you up and you stared at the ground, then at your bloodied clothes. "...no. i'm okay."

you weren't okay. you knew what had happened to you, but.. you couldn't tell him. not now. you were lucky enough that your shirt had fallen over the bite when you stood up.

"are you sure? you don't feel anything at all?" he repeated his question, his hands on top of your shoulders while he looked at you with concern.

"i'm sure." you nodded, wiping your hands on your legs. "we should.. we should head back now."

carl sighs. "...okay."

you felt like shit.

...

the entire walk back, carl was extremely cautious of any walkers, hoping there wouldn't be another close call on the way.

"...i love you, carl. don't ever forget that." you said, you voice low and slightly shaken.

"i love you, too. are you okay?" he was surprised at your sudden comment, which proved to have made him a bit anxious.

"yeah, yeah. i just wanted to say i love you." you smiled quickly at him before looking back down at your feet as you continued walking. you could feel your ankle that you twisted earlier was pulsating, and you could feel the bite beginning to eat away at your body, but you tried your best to keep your composure. you wanted your final day with carl to be normal.

...

you guys got arrived at alexandria and you walked into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind you. you stared at yourself in the mirror, taking in everything that had just happened. you removed your jacket and lifted up your shirt to reveal the bite, which was still leaking with blood. you couldn't take your eyes off of it. you shook your head while tears began falling from your eyes, processing this whole situation.

"fuck." you let out a breathy laugh before taking your shirt completely off.

you grabbed some of the medical supplies from behind the mirror and put it over the bite so it wouldn't bleed through new clothes. you grabbed a clean shirt from the laundry basket behind you and put it on.

you wiped the tears from your eyes, cleaning up your appearance a bit more before exiting the bathroom.

"there you are. how're you doing?" carl sat up from the couch and walked over to you.

"oh, i'm doing fine." you smiled up at him, interlocking his hands with yours. "hey, do you know where that camera is?"

"camera?" his eyebrow raised as he tilted his head with curiosity.

"yeah, remember? the camera? i used to always use it to take photos of you and judith." you reminded him with a laugh.

"oh, the camera!" he joined the laugh. "it's in my room, i'll go get it." he began walking in the direction of his room swiftly, coming back with the camera in hand shortly after.

"thank you." you took the camera from his hands, quickly pointing it up and taking a photo of him.

"ah, hey!" he chuckled, covering part of his face.

you grabbed the photo from the camera before pulling him into a tight hug.

"hey.. wheres judith?" you inquired, your head buried in his neck.

"she's up in her room, why?"

"we should hangout with her." you broke from the hug with a smile, putting the camera into your bag before heading into the direction of her room, carl following shortly behind you.

you walked into her room and picked her up from her crib. "hey, jude." you spoke in a soft voice, holding her gently in your arms. carl smiled at your actions. he's always had a soft spot for you and judith.

you began walking outside with judith in your arms and carl following by your side. you sit down on the steps of the porch, setting judith down in between you and carl. you dig into your bag and pull the camera out again, holding it up and taking a picture of the three of you.

you take the photo from the camera, moving it down to judith so she can see. as carl looked down at the photo that was forming, he notices how shaky your hands are.

"hey, your hands are shaking.." he points out, putting his hand over yours.

"oh, hah.. i'm okay. i don't know why i'm shaking so bad." you shrugged it off nervously, setting the photo in your bag along with the camera.

"..okay." carl nervously responded, nodding his head slowly.

"hey, carl?"

"hm?"

"do you remember before all of this when you came over to help decorate my room and my mom let us dip our hands in paint and put it above my bed?" you reminisced on the moment.

"oh, yeah, i remember!" carls nervous expression turned into a smile. "i remember asking my mom when i got home if she would let me do that. we never got the chance to."

"...why don't we do it now?" you asked, smiling back at him.

"do we have paint?"

you looked around and spotted some blue paint on the side of the porch. "there!" you pointed to it before grabbing it, setting it right next to you. "we could put the handprints right here on the porch."

you dipped the palm of your hand in the paint, setting it down on the porch. carl did the same after, except on the opposite hand of yours.

"hey, isn't blue your favorite color?" you asked carl, noticing him getting more excited about the paint after you found the blue paint.

he nodded, lifting his now blue paint-stained hand off of the porch.

the two of you faced judith, then each other. you carefully grabbed both of judiths hands and dipped her palms in the paint, setting them to the side of yours and carls prints.

the three of you giggled happily, smiling at each other.

"now this porch is ours." you proudly stated, glancing at the handprints drying into the porch. "let's go get our hands washed."

you carefully picked judith up with your non-paint stained hand and brought her to the bathroom to wash her hands.

...

it was the next day. it felt fairly peaceful- well, besides your body weakening. you knew that you were getting closer to your limit. carl was in the other room resting. you found a pile of envelopes and paper, and proceeded to write. your first note, of course, was to carl. after that, you wrote to michonne, rick, daryl, maggie, then judith. sure, she couldn't read, but for when she's older. you had also found some jewelry beads and string. when you and carl were younger, the two of you had friendship bracelets. his was blue, which had always been his favorite color, and yours was purple. you decided to recreate it for him to remember you by.

once you were finished, you put them on your wrists, covering them with your sleeves.

...

it was now night, and negan had came to alexandria. a feedback was played on the intercom before negan spoke into it. we was speaking about apologies, and whoever gave the lamest one would be killed. you all were given three minutes to open the gate for them. you felt your fever begin coming in, your body temperature quickly rising.

"come on." carl whispered, nudging you in the shoulder to snap you out of your daze, doing the same with michonne. "y/n, michonne! come on!"

"you guys go. i'll deal with them, okay?" you told him, to which he instantly shook his head disapproving.

"no, you're coming with. it's not something we're discussing-"

"go." your voice turned stern. "i'll be fine. they won't get me. i'll distract them and give you more time to get everyone to the sewer. then come back to the watchtower."

carl looked like he was about to say something, but you cut him off with a kiss. as you pulled away, you smiled at him reassuringly. "trust me."

carl furrowed his brows before looking up at you and nodding, nudging michonne to lead her away.

you began walking up the ladder to the watch tower, hearing negan give final warnings to rick despite him not being there.

you stood up on the watch tower. "rick isn't here."

"oh, shit!" negan said in his annoyingly enthusiastic tone. "everyone, everyone, hold your fire... it's y/n. look at you. answering the door just for him. sucks that he's gonna come home to a big smoky surprise."

"there's families in there. theres kids, carls baby sister." you crossed your arms, looking down at him.

"well, that shit just breaks my heart." negan said pathetically. "there's kids at the sanctuary. even had a baby at one of the outposts. i wonder what happened to her."

you stayed silent, angrily glaring at him.

"none of this shit's fair, kid. carl knows that."

"don't." your voice turned stern.

"he had to kill his own mom. that is screwed up." negan bringing up lori and her death filled you with rage. god, you wanted to get rid of negan right then and there. but you were smarter than that.

you took a deep breath. "bad stuff happens, but we can figure this out. we... we can stop this."

"rick had it that i died, no matter what." he reminded angrily. "he gave my people a choice, not me. now we're gonna need a new understanding. apologies, punish-"

"kill me."

"...what?"

"if you have to kill anybody, if there has to be a punishment, kill me. just me. serious."

"you want to die, girl?" he scoffed, raising an eyebrow at you.

"no... no, i don't. but i'll die if it means everyone here lives." you averted your eyes, looking down and noticing carl standing by the ladder waiting for you. "if.. if all of this ends, or makes things different because i die? it'll be worth it. i mean, was this your plan? is this really who you wanted to be?"

negan looks away, which gives you an opportunity to get down the watchtower and back to carl. you try and get down the ladder as quick as possible, but you trip at the last step.

luckily, carl was there to catch you. "shit, you're sweating bullets. are you okay-"

"nevermind that, we have to go!"

you and carl ran around alexandria, throwing the smoke bombs around as negan and the saviors begin launching their grenades into the homes.

as you guys are running around, you begin getting dizzy and your body heat is increasing.

you walk up onto the porch of one of the houses, laying the back of your head on the front door as you catch your breath. you wipe the sweat off of your head, breathing heavily.

carl walks up to you, throwing a smoke bomb behind him. "what's the matter with you?"

you shook your head. "nothing, nothing. i'm fine. just.."

you and carl come to a halt at the sound of a bomb hissing behind you. you turn around to face the house and just before the bomb blows, carl grabs you by your hand and tugs you towards him, stepping back away from the house.

as your body presses up against him, he notices your body temperature at a high. "jesus, you're burning up. here, the sewer is right here."

he lifts up the sewer cover and begins crawling down, signaling for you to follow after him. you walk over and step onto the ladder, pulling the sewer cover back over to cover you guys.

as you get to the bottom, you turn around and see everyone, safe. you start breaking down, covering your mouth as you sob.

“y/n? whats wrong? its done, were safe, everyone is safe.” carl says with confusion and panic in his tone as you stay silent. "...please, say something. you're scaring me."

“…im sorry carl. im so sorry.” carl raises an eyebrow.

you lift up the side of your shirt, revealing your bite to everyone.

carl stares at you, his eye becoming glossy and his brows furrowing together as his breaths deepen. he shakes his head. “no.. stop.” he turns around with his hands behind his head, shaking.

“it happened when i was trampled by the walkers.” you admitted.

“why… why didnt you tell me then..? you told me you were fine!” his voice was wobbly as he tried calming down.

“because i didnt want my last day to be spent with you worrying. i wanted your genuine happiness, not you masking your emotions because you knew it would be the… the final time.” your voice cracked as you spoke.

carl stayed silent, understanding, but still denying the whole situation. “i cant- no-“ he began to cry, running up to you and hugging you tightly. one of his hands laid behind your head and the other along your waist. “you can’t leave me. not- not like this, please.”

“i’m sorry. you’re gonna be okay, carl. you… you’re strong. stronger than anyone i’ve ever met before.”

you broke from the hug and began taking the bracelet off of your wrist, handing it to him. “here, take it.” carl wiped away the tears flowing from his eye before reaching his shaking hand out to the bracelet, taking it from your hands and putting it over his wrist.

"it's.. blue." he remembered the conversation you two had the previous day about his favorite color.

"yep. just for you." you chuckled, rolling your sleeve down and holding up your wrist to reveal the bracelet you made to match his. "we always wanted matching friendship bracelets, remember?"

you moved your hands up to the sides of his face, smiling widely at him with tears in your eyes. “you’re gonna be okay…you’re gonna be okay.”

before carl could say anything, you let out a loud wince as a pain shot through your side. carl quickly grabs you, stabilizing you.

"do.." he sniffles. "do you need to sit down?"

you nodded and carl helped you down on the ground. he held your hand tightly, pulling it up to his face.

"i can't..." he cried.

"i know, i know." you brought up your free hand to move his hair out of his face, moving his head to face you. "you're so sweet. i'm so.. so glad that i got to spend my whole life with you. i'm sorry you couldn't spend yours with me."

he shook his head in shock. the sewer cover opened, and rick and michonne stepped down, noticing carl resting his head on your hand and your beaten up and dying frame sitting on the ground.

"y/n?" michonne called out, her eyes widening at the sight of you.

you glanced over to her with a saddened smile. you brought your free hand to lift up your shirt again to re-reveal your infecting bite. rick walked over and put a hand on his sons back, staring at you somberly.

"...i got bit." you sighed, a tear falling from your eye. "me and carl, we were bringing someone back. his name is siddiq. he was the guy you saw at the gas station before."

rick shakes his head, covering his mouth. michonne steps closer to you with tears in her eyes. she had always been such a supportive person for you and carl, especially since lori had passed. "it wasn't the saviors, it wasn't anyone. i just.. i got bit."

...

"the saviors are gone. we can get everyone to the hilltop. we can get y/n to the hilltop!" carl argued, squeezing your hand tightly.

rick sighs. "she wont-"

"daryl can get one of the cars."

"y/n can't leave here." rick sternly says. "she doesn't have enough time."

"...i have to stay with her." carl shakes his head, looking down at you.

"carl.."

"if she can't go, then i'm staying with her." he repeats, a tear falling from his eye.

"..can you take judith?" rick asks daryl.

daryl nods, picking her up. "yeah. i'll get her there. i'll keep her safe."

"let me say goodbye." you weakly ask.

daryl sets her down near you, and she begins walking towards you.

you weakly smile at judith. "i already know you're gonna be incredible. you entered this world at a bad time, but that will only make you stronger. you're gonna grow up, make friends, find someone you love.. you'll live." you look down at the ground with a smile. "just like your mom said to carl, you're gonna beat this world. you and him."

judith begins whining, and thats when daryl picks her up again.

"goodbye, judith." you waved. "goodbye, daryl."

after stating your goodbyes to a couple people, you felt yourself beginning your end.

"i don't.. i don't know how much longer i have left." you held carls hand tighter. "i don't want to die in here."

"here." carl wraps your arm around his neck.

...

carl and rick helped you to the house across the way, setting you down carefully inside.

"th-thank you." you coughed. "i.. i have one more thing for you, carl."

"what? what is it?" he kneeled down next to you.

"it hurts to move, it's in my front pocket. please grab it."

he reaches in hand into your pocket and pulls out the envelop. "this?"

you nod. "open it."

he opens the envelop and reads whats inside.

'carl, you have always been there for me, ever since the beginning. after losing my family, you helped me. you, rick, and lori all helped me. i never thought that it would end this way, and i'm sorry i put you through this pain. i'm glad i met you. i'm glad you ended up being the one. i wouldn't have traded you for anyone else. thank you, and i love you. through life and death. - y/n.'

tears began flowing out of his eye yet again. he brought up a hand to cover his mouth.

"we grew up too fast. but we grew up together. i'm forever grateful for you, carl grimes." you laughed, holding his hand. "i love you."

"i- i love you, too." his voice cracked. "everything i did was for you, y/n. every single thing."

"that doesn't have to change. you have to be there for judith now, too. she needs her brother." you moved your hand up to his face. you felt your fever start to set in, and your brain felt like it was shaking alongside the rest of your body. "...it's time, carl."

"do you want me to.. to do it?" he put his hand to the gun that was holstered on his side.

"i can't do it myself. i can't move." you cried with a smile still laying across your face. "i'm sorry."

"it's okay." he took out his gun and moved his free hand to the side of your face.

"can i have one last kiss?" you chuckled. he nodded and leaned in, kissing you. you closed your eyes and felt the metal go to the side of your head.

and then all the pain went away.

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

[lyssak09]

when will you post yandere rick grimes 💕

Now 😂. I hope you and everyone else enjoy this! If you enjoy this please like, repost, and or follow me! Happy reading everyone 💙

Rick has always been attached to you, more so than he is to others, and it got worse when Lori died.

Ever since Lori died he’s been watching you like a hawk, even when you don’t realize it. Watching you sleep is both comforting and peaceful to him.

It makes his heart swell when he sees you taking care of Judith and Carl. Even if you didn’t like kids at first, Carl and Judith were different, and they needed a maternal figure. Which you happen to become without knowing.

After his mental breakdown, he starts to understand why he is doing certain things for you and why he has these feelings. It's because he loves you, more than anything. 

And no, you’re not a rebound. His relationship with Lori wasn’t doing well and he already felt something for you when he first met you. It just wasn’t noticeable yet.

He becomes extremely protective of you, even paranoid. Rick will give you the safest jobs in the prison. Such as helping him with the garden, watching the kids, cleaning up cleared sections of the prison, and so on. 

If you get too close to the walker gate he’ll flip. Yelling at you and killing multiple walkers (Who couldn’t even get to you really). Rick might start chaperoning your daily walks or observing from a distance because of the walkers.

You won’t be given scavenging missions. Even if you volunteer for one he’ll say no and have someone else do it. If you ask him why he doesn’t let you anymore he’ll just say “It's safer for you, and without you, Judith and Carl and so many of us would be lost without you.” Manipulative right?

He may go to great lengths to ensure that he is always a part of your life, even if it means manipulating situations or lying to keep you close.

He’s good at manipulation, I mean, it helped out a lot back when he was a sheriff. He’ll manipulate situations that cause you to be close to him or work with him, even though you already spend a lot of time with him, especially because of Judith and Carl. 

Rick will also manipulate you, and your feelings. He’ll use fear, kindness, guilt, and so on to keep you with him. Maybe even try to make you dependent on him by manipulating you. 

“You don’t understand, you’re the only mother figure Carl and Judith have now. You are too important and special to us, to me, to go risk your life on a scavenging mission, Y/N. Now why don’t you go help Carl with his schoolwork, he’s been asking for you. We can talk about this more later.”

You will not discuss it more later.

Rick will become extremely jealous. To the point, he’ll either subtly isolate you by giving everyone very different jobs from yours, or he’ll even quietly sabotage your relationships with others.

If someone shows even the slightest hint of interest in you he’s coming to mess it up.

“Listen here friend, I’ve noticed you’ve taken a liking towards Y/N. You should know that she’s taken, and wouldn’t go for someone like you in the first place,”

Did I forget to mention that you’re taken? By Rick?

You don’t know it but you’re in a relationship with him, whether you like it or not. Don’t get me wrong, Rick does understand that you two aren’t ‘technically’ together, yet. But that doesn’t mean you won’t be. 

You’ll be his wife eventually, you just don’t know it yet.

Rick likes to keep mementos of you and his kids on him and likes to have some to decorate his cell, which makes it more like a home.

Found a pretty flower on your walk with Judith and want him to have it? It’ll be found pressed in one of his favorite books. He’ll borrow Glenn’s camera to take photos of Carl and Judith, making sure to get some with you in a few as well. He’ll make someone take a photo of all four of you, it’s a family portrait in his eyes.

Rick isn’t just overprotective of you because of your safety. But he is also paranoid that someone might take you from him. Anyone who gets too close to you might be seen as a threat, and he’ll have a plan to eliminate them if needed.

As time goes on his love for you grows and grows to a terrifying amount.

He’ll start to get violent if things are going his way, such as you not being affectionate back, you not realizing you’re supposed with him, or you’re being super oblivious. It makes him frustrated and angry, this shouldn’t be that hard for you! You two are meant to be! He’ll break things, take his anger out on walkers, or even yell at people in the group (even if they haven’t done anything). 

He won’t ever hurt you, on purpose anyway, he would have to either been pushed to the edge or be going through another mental breakdown for him to hurt you.

Rick will be violent towards others though.

I think Rick could understand what he is doing is technically immoral, but he doesn't care, he’s doing this because he loves you. Or, I think Rick, who has been through so much trauma, is so delusional that he doesn't think he is doing anything wrong. You're his soulmate. Soulmates should be together. No matter what

Either way, he loves you more than life itself. He loves you more than he ever did Lori. He understands that now.

Despite his unhealthy behavior he genuinely believes that he’s doing this for your best interest, only he can keep you safe in this new world. 

Rick knows everything about you, from your daily routines to your likes and dislikes.

The group is becoming concerned by his behavior, but they’re also a little too freaked out to mention it yet.

On the outside, it looks like Rick is a strong capable leader. But on the inside a darker unstable side of him lurks.

Rick becomes so dependent on you for his sense of identity and purpose that he can't imagine life without you. He believes that you’re soulmates destined to be together forever, and he'll do anything to ensure that you never part.

Another way Rick keeps you ‘safe’ isolates you is by gaslighting you. He’ll purposely allow you to almost get hurt, which he hates doing but it's to prove you need him, then he’ll save you. Even though you can handle yourself pretty well against walkers he’ll find ways to almost have you get hurt so he can save you and prove that you need him to protect you. Rick will gaslight you to no end. “You say you can handle walkers but every time you and I encounter them you almost get hurt or die. Now that's not handling them. It’s okay that you need help against them. I’ll always be here to protect you Y/N.”

He uses your relationship with Carl and Judith to his advantage. When you’re spending time with them or taking care of them he’ll come and join you or watch with a tiny smile on his face, this is one of the many situations he uses to spend time with you.

Rick is also secretly coaching Judith to call you mama, the thought of leaving him and his kids could never cross your mind if that's how they feel about you. 

Carl starts to see you as a mom without Rick’s coaching. You helped take care of him and helped him grieve his mom. You help remind him that he’s still a kid, he gets to act more like one because of you. Carl will make it known to you that without you he’d have to grow up faster again and stop getting to act like his age again. Him telling you this helps Rick, not that Carl knows about it. Again, how could you leave them? Carl shouldn’t have to lose another mother figure, especially one that actually lets him be a kid. And it wouldn’t be fair to Judith for her to lose the woman who’s been caring for her since she was born. 

Once you do catch on to Rick’s feelings and intentions and if you try to leave him he’ll remind you of these facts, that Carl and Judith can’t lose you too.

He’s the king of manipulation at this point. 

Rick’s obsession with your safety is insane. To the point, he’ll risk his own well-being for you. I mean, that's what husbands are supposed to do, right? If food is running low he’ll give up his share to you and Carl, no matter how much you disagree or fight him on it.

Rick will never let you go or give you up. Even in the face of rejection or betrayal, Rick refuses to let go of you. He’ll become increasingly desperate and unstable, resorting to drastic measures to maintain his grip on you, including threats of violence or self-harm.

He may develop obsessive rituals or routines centered around you, such as constantly checking in on you, always eating with you, watching you sleep, or even hoarding items that remind him of you. These rituals help to reinforce his ‘connection’ to you Y/N.

Rick is extremely touchy, like oh my god. When he’s around you some part of him needs to be touching you. Like when you help him with the garden, he’ll guide your hands when planting or have a hand on the small of your back while he points out where he wants to add to the prison. He ‘accidentally’ brushes against you all the time.

When you’re sitting down and feeding Judith he’ll have a hand on your shoulder, he loves it when he has to squeeze behind you to get past you and he brushes against your backside, totally not because of inappropriate reasons. 

He likes to look for things for you and the kids when he’s out scavenging. Giving you things is one of the ways he shows you he loves you, even though may not realize he’s doing it for that. Rick is in search of a wedding ring for you, he’s going to marry you, and you’re destined to be together.

If he’s scavenging with Daryl and they go past a jewelry store he’ll send Daryl ahead and meet him at their original destination. Rick just has to make a quick pitstop.

Once he finally confesses or you notice his behavior, he’ll expect you to finally realize that you’re together and will happily marry him. If you try to say no or gently get him out of the delusions he won’t take it well. Possibly falling into the delusions more, especially if you’re not getting you’re meant to be his and he was meant to be yours. Rick will explain your reactions with more delusions or false logic. 

“You just don’t see it yet Y/N, we’re meant to be together. You’ll see it soon.

If push comes to shove he’ll make you his by force. Either clearing a secret part of the prison and preparing it for him, his kids, and his future wife. He’ll lock you in said cell block if needed. If that idea doesn’t work then Rick will find a nice secluded home somewhere for you guys. Hopefully, you’ll be compliant though so you guys won’t have to leave your new home everyone worked so hard on. 

Rick rationalizes his behavior with twisted logic, convincing himself that everything he does is for Y/N's own good. He believes that he's protecting you from the dangers of the world and that she needs him to survive.

He’ll go to great lengths for you, including getting rid of anyone or anything in the way. Maybe that's why some of your fellow survivors haven’t come back from scavenging missions Rick sent them on?

Rick loves you more than anything Y/N, remember that.

“I love you with all my heart darlin, don’t ever forget that.” Rick declared with a smile, blood dripping down his face,

[eileennatural]

i hate lori grimes haters. especially carl fans who hate lori grimes like. did you forget he's literally a mama's boy? did you forget her cradling his chubby little cheeks and holding his hand and cutting his hair?? he literally DIED respecting her memory and you hate her?

[trckstaer]

Tag drop 6/7 — television character tags !

[itsgrimeytime]

drunk on you (part two) || Rick Grimes (TWD) × gn!reader (no apocalypse!AU)

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker

Part 1

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Summary: You'd known Rick forever, as far back as freshman year. He was a guy you (if you were honest) had a crush on; there was just something in his stance and the low drawl of his voice. You'd say that feeling only got worse from there. Before you could blink, he was married and had a kid; and suddenly, despite your best efforts, you felt very out of place. You faded out of his life, and he yours. So when Rick shows up at your door (drunk out of his mind) about 5 years after the last time you spoke to him, you have a lot of questions.

TWs: divorce mention, alcohol, making out, and shameless flirting.

[[A/N: girl get ready. WEDDING TIME!!! Also, I am about to create Rick Grimes's mother as a character in this one, so... I know Southern mothers, you'll see. Enjoy :))]]

Soon after you reunited with Rick, you got the wedding invite in the mail. All curly letters and shiny details, you wondered briefly just how fancy it would be, and the dress code-

You made a note to ask Rick before the day.

You'd been seeing a lot of him recently, he either asked you to come to his city or just showed up in yours.

You'd shown him a few different places, (you'd gone to a café, one with cheesy puns that you, ashamedly, laughed at. Rick had only smiled, and shook his head, "Adorable." You weren't sure what exactly he was talking about, but something in you had a clue), and even some of your favorites.

You weren't sure why you wanted to share so much with him, but it felt natural.

He'd even met some of your new friends ("That Rick?"), and they had promptly horrendously embarrassed you. (He is handsome, you were right, Y/N.) Rick couldn't get enough of that day, laughing and smiling with your friends -but you did catch his cheeks turning rosy when they brought up your... compliments.

It made your heart stutter in your chest.

And then, he'd brought Carl to meet you again. Rick was terrible about just showing up at your place unprompted, so you were not ready for it. But somehow you slotted right in.

"You know I held you as a baby, right?"

Carl blinked up at you like he was processing the information, and maybe trying to recognize you, "I think I remember you."

He seemed to only remember that you were constantly playing with him, and even pulled out some old toys you recognized. Ones that were apparently super sentimental to him. It made you smile.

You fell right back in place, listening to him talk about whatever he wanted to -it felt familiar. Something about your old life that wasn't as hurtful.

You'd missed the little guy.

And in the back of your head, if you noticed Rick wordlessly staring at you with quite possibly the brightest smile you'd ever seen on his face, you ignored it. Because there was still two months to go, and that meant nothing.

Or at least that's what you told yourself.

The weeks before the wedding though, you didn't see much of him. A part of you wondered if it had all washed away, and you weren't entirely sure how to interact with that.

You were probably the only one early to the wedding, but Lori had wanted you to be. Said something about catching up, and wanting to see you. Shane was apparently just the same. You weren't sure how to take it.

On one hand, they were your old friends, on the other, they had really done something shitty to Rick and you doubted they got as much flak as they should have. Rick was too nice, always was, but he definitely had his moments.

Later, you decided, later, you'd chew them out. Not on their wedding day.

Fidgeting with your clothes, you waltzed up into the chapel -all high ceilings and stained-glass windows. It was beautiful, really, with flowers strewn against the pews and a leather little check-in book where you signed in. It was everything that a wedding was supposed to be, all the little bells and whistles.

Isn't infidelity a sin? Your mind chimed, and you zapped back the thought -a betraying little smile on your face.

"Y/N!" a voice cheered, and you were met with Shane -a few years older and a buzzcut (which was an interesting choice, to say the least), "-long time no see, buddy!"

"Hey," you smiled, genuine warmth building up -he was your friend after all. He was like a brother. That was kinda why you did what you did.

With a breath, you smacked him in the face -not a real one, kind of just a play hit. It still got the message across.

"Yeah," he rubbed his jaw, "-figured 'at was comin'."

"Good," you said, before opening up your arms for a hug, which Shane gladly accepted. He still smelt the same -a little too sour for your tastes, but was much more built. Just like Rick.

You smiled, stepping back, "It's really good to see you, sorry for-"

"Don't," Shane held up his hand, "-There's no need. I get it, a lot more than ya think."

At least I held back on my impulses, you thought, before shoving it down again.

God, you were really going to have to keep yourself in check today.

"I'll show ya to where Lori is," he offered, "-think she's still getting ready."

"Probably will be for a while, Shane," you laughed, "-The wedding hasn't even started."

"Good point," he agreed, gruffly, before guiding you to a door -you heard a lot of rustling behind it. Just thinking of the extent of people, you nearly didn't knock.

Luckily, Shane did that for you.

"'S Y/N," he called before nearly scampering away -you had to hold back a laugh.

"Oh, come in!"

Lori was the first one to, verbally, greet you, smiling wide -her hair was getting done, "Y/N, oh it's so good to see you, I'm so glad you could-"

Before she could finish, someone came rushing over to you - almost squealing in delight.

"Y/N, honey," she smiled, big and bright, "-it's been so long!"

That was the one and only Bonnie Grimes, Rick's mother. You wondered for a moment, why she would be here, before she barreled you into a hug.

"Hey, Mrs. Grimes," you smiled, accepting her hug gratefully, and she squeezed you a little too hard but you had expected it. Bonnie Grimes was on solid hugger, wouldn't let you go until she wanted to.

"Please, call me Bonnie," she grinned, before pulling back from the embrace, "-Look at you! You look so good, honey! All grown up."

"You saw me when I was in college, Mrs... Bonnie," you laughed, "-I don't think I've changed much since then."

"I still remember you in high school," she sighed -wistfully, "-ugh, the three of you were so cute! I miss those days."

Before you could say a word, she intertwined your arms and began ushering you out the door, "C'mon, let's go, sweetie! We have lots to talk about."

"I was just-" she pulled you neatly out of the door, so you shot Lori an apologetic smile -she laughed and waved you off.

Bonnie had never had the... best relationship with Lori, you heard it through the grapevine a lot. So, you had no idea why she was here at all, other than to maybe see Carl? But, still, she was definitely petty enough to wait and see him later, so what-

"When Ricky told me you were comin', I just had to see you," she said -like she was reading your mind, before whispering low, "-otherwise I wouldn't even be 'ere."

You nearly laughed at 'Ricky', but sealed it back behind your lips, responding simply, "I'm really honored, Bonnie. I would've come out to see you but-"

"Oh, sweetie," she laughed, pulling you down to sit outside on a bench infront of the church, "-I know why you couldn't. A mother's instincts."

"Yeah," you laughed, a little awkwardly -his mom knowing was not something you had quite imagined.

"You know, I always wanted you two together," she remarked, almost as if she didn't expect you to comment, "-liked you better than her for him."

"Bonnie," you urged.

"What? They're divorced now, I can say it."

"Maybe not at her wedding," you quipped back.

"Okay, you're right," she sighed out, "-suppose I just can't get over what they did to my baby."

You frowned, taking a hand and rubbing soothing circles into her shoulder, "I can imagine, it must've really hurt to see your son like that."

"Hurt? Oh I was furious, sweetie," she clarified, "-Ricky had to hold me back by my horns."

You let out a laugh, and Bonnie smiled back. The air was crisp, and the sun was warm -it was a good day. And, it was nice to get to come back -see some of where you grew up. It was familiar, homey and you felt in place, you weren't sure that would ever go away.

"You know, he talked about you," Bonnie hummed, looking out into the streets, "-even when you left, it was like... he wanted to keep you in his memories."

You exhaled, guilt swirling up in your stomach, "Yeah, I'm starting to think I made a mistake leaving. I feel like I missed so much."

Bonnie smiled -a little bittersweet, gathering you up into a side hug, "No one is smart in the matters of the heart, honey. You were hurtin', you did what you could to feel better. There's nothin' wrong with that."

You smiled, leaning into her -your head resting on hers, "Thanks, Bonnie."

"Now, that that's settled," she said slowly, happiness dipped into her words, "-Can we talk about it?"

"About what?"

"My son," she clarified, playfully smiling, "-he talks all about you, you know. And he's been really excited for today, I was hopin' you could tell me why. It's downright suspicious for a man to be so happy at his ex-wife's wedding-"

"Maybe, she's marrying a terrible man," you joked, and Bonnie laughed.

"Shane always was trouble," she seemed to think back, before reiterating, "-I know you two have been spendin' a lot of time together, and I didn't want to be hopin'."

"Okay," you held up your hands in mock surrender, "-you got me. When we met up those few months ago, he told me he had feelings for me-"

"No, really?!" she gasped, "-Oh, I thought he was never going to do that. Praise you, Jesus-"

"It was right after Shane's bachelor party, and I was... skeptical," Bonnie listened very closely, "-so I told him that if he still feels the same by the wedding, we can talk."

"That's very reasonable, sweetie," Bonnie smiled, before speaking much more directly, "-I hate to say it, though, all 'at time was certainly wasted. My boy has loved you since he met you-"

"Bonnie."

"-he just didn't know it," she finished, slapping her hands into her lap, "-You don't know how many times I tried to get it through his head, honey. It was like talkin' to a brick wall, I tell you."

You laughed again, "Well, I appreciate you sticking up for me."

"Oh, I do it a thousand times over for you, sweetheart," she hugged you into her side again, "-you make my baby boy very happy and I'll be forever grateful for that."

You smiled -something warm in your chest.

"And," she whispered, "-if you need a moment with Rick, you just tell me and I can draw a whole crowd."

You laughed even harder then, as she guided you back inside -you ended up helping with some if the last minute decorations.

At the current moment, you were pulling the flower petals into the basket for the flower girl. Apparently, they had to be fresh. It was kind of sad to pull them off the flower though.

"Hey," a voice breathed out like they were startlingly happy.

You peeked up, and saw the one and only Rick Grimes -dressed to the nines in a suit that really suited him. Handsome, really handsome. You fidgetted with your clothes self-consciously.

"Hi," you parroted back with a smile, "-like the suit."

"Oh," he grinned, a bit like he had so much energy but just couldn't put it anywhere, "-thank you, wasn't sure I'd like it."

It was the one picked out by Lori, with the color scheme -the light blue tie matched his eyes really well though, so she apparently picked well. Rick was Shane's best man, so his outfit was one specially picked -you weren't given the "luxury".

"I think you look handsome," you smiled, halting your work for a moment, "-If that helps with your opinion at all."

"Uh, yeah," he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, "-Yeah, it does. Yours was the only opinion 'at matters."

Your heart jolted into your throat, your eyes flickered back down to your hands -pulling off more petals. The basket was about halfway full now.

"Wouldn't say that out loud, Ricky," you teased -alluding.

"Oh god," he groaned, "-my Mom's 'ere? Why?"

"The one and only," you laughed, "-and apparently she's here for me."

"Sounds like 'er," he grinned -big and bright, and it seemed like he almost wanted to say something else but-

"Rick, Shane needs you," someone, who you decidedly didn't know, popped their head in.

"Talk later?" You offered.

Rick pursed his lips for a moment, like he was really debating going anywhere else. (Like he wanted to stay with you.) But he let out a big, long sigh, "Yeah, I'll hold ya to it."

"Please, do," you laughed, watching him go out of the room -like a puppy dog. You frowned, you really need to get yourself in check.

The ceremony was beautiful, Bonnie sat beside you and plastered on the most real fake smile you'd ever seen -elbowing you and whispering low little jokes every once in a while. You had to bite back laughter half the service. On your other side was Carl fidgeting with his vest -apparently he was supposed to be up there with Shane, but he refused. You got a little kick out of that.

To cheer him up, you taught him the head squish trick -squeezing your two fingertips together from a distance. Carl was much more engaged after that, particularly squishing his Dad's head with a big smile.

And Rick, well, he stayed focused but every once in awhile, you'd catch him looking at you. The dart of an eye, so quick you could miss it if you hadn't been looking at him too; Bonnie would point it out to you, if you weren't paying attention.

The reception was nearby, in a building that was primarily rented for this exact purpose. It looked how you thought a reception should look with a big dance floor, so many decorated tables, and a buffet of food off to the side. Which all looked and smelled delicious, you noted.

Each seat had a name, you realized. So, you were kind of awkwardly navigating through tables to try and find your spot -you didn't want to get food and then wander around like a chicken with your head cut off. So, you dodged through chairs -peeking at the little cards, and just as you found it, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

You spun around and met Bonnie's eyes, she was looking a little nervous.

"Everything okay?"

"Yes," she hummed, "-I just realized that I forgot some medicine in my purse, would you be a doll and go grab it for me?"

"Sure," you soothed, "-where is it?"

"The closet where they put the coats," Bonnie answered, "-I wanted it out of the way, but-"

"Bonnie," you smiled, ushering her to her marked chair, "-please, sit down, I'll grab it for you."

She smiled, big and wide, a polite thank you leaving her lips. There was something there, but at the time, it didn't seem important.

With a breath, you wondered back toward the front of the building -trying to remember which closet exactly was the one with the coats. You hadn't had one, so you didn't stop but-

The door to the closest one slipped open, and hands pulled you inside. You nearly screamed, but when your eyes adjusted to the dim light, they settled on Rick -standing just across from you.

"Rick," you hissed, "-what the hell? You scared the-"

"Sorry, sweetheart, was the only way to getcha alone," he spoke, a little quickly -breathlessly happy to see you.

"Oh, is that why-" you puffed out a breath, "-Bonnie was in on this, wasn't she?"

Rick grinned, shrugging a little -as if to say, maybe. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop a smile from smoothing across your face.

"Why are we in here, Rick?"

"I needed to talk to ya," he echoed out, "-alone."

"And we couldn't do that anywhere else?" You laughed, "-Like outside, or-"

"It was the first idea to pop into my head, gimme a break," he responded, slow with a smile, "-I 'aven't thought clearly all day."

"What if someone tries to get in here?" You questioned, voice low, "-this is going to look pretty incriminating-"

"It locks from the inside," he said simply, moving his hand and turning the lock.

Your breath caught in your throat suddenly, realization setting in -you were locked in a clost with Rick. Correction, you were locked in a small closet with Rick by his own doing.

Jesus Christ.

"Is there-" you questioned, "-something you wanted to talk about, or?"

You knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, but you were not going to be the one to bring it up. Especially when his face was so close to yours, and the light was dim enough to make his eyes shine so blue, and you could feel his breaths on your face-

Your heart was practically beating out of your chest, you could feel it in your throat.

You expected this is much different circumstances, like an open room and good lighting and maybe the crisp night air. Not in a hall closet, where all you could smell was Rick (a woodsy sort of smell), and all you could see was Rick.

His hair was tussled a little, like he had nervously run his hands through it. And part of you wanted to reach up and comb through it, he was letting it get longer now -you liked it.

"I didn't think this through," he finally said.

"Yeah," you laughed a little, "-I can tell."

"Well, I did," he reasoned, "-'ad this whole thin' planned out, how I was gonna say it and everythin'. But now I... Looking at you, I can't remember any of it."

"You sure it's not a lack of oxygen?" You teased, trying to cut through the tension, "-This room is pretty small-"

"I'm in love with you."

Your mouth snapped shut.

He was laughing a little -in disbelief or happiness, you couldn't tell, "You told me, if my feelin's stayed the same to tell ya. But they haven't."

"They haven't?" You asked, a little weakly.

"I fell in love with you," he clarified, grin so bright, "-I watched you wit' Carl and my Mom and just you. And I... I love you. God, I love you."

"Rick," you whispered out.

"I knew," he exhaled, stepping slightly forward, "-I knew there was somethin'. That I felt somethin' and then you were everywhere, and suddenly I felt everythin'."

Your eyes were starting to tear up, but you held them back.

"I couldn't stop thinkin' about ya, and then I just wanted to see ya, all the time-" he exhaled through a laugh.

"Rick," you repeated.

"I love you," he repeated like it was all he could say, eyes desperately searching yours, "-and I know it's kinda shitty to 'ave this moment 'ere, because it's my ex-wife's weddin'-"

You laughed, and a grin found itself along his face -letting out a chuckle.

"But I couldn't wait," he echoed out, "-couldn't wait long enough to not 'ave to do it in a damn closet."

"I would have preferred that," you remarked, "-but, this... this is okay too."

"I nearly told you this mornin'," he breathed out, "-you were in front of me an' all I could think was-"

Your hands cupped his face, and pulled him forward without so much as another thought. He stilled at first, shocked, but when he realized, everything in him shifted.

He pushed you into the wall almost without thinking, instinctual. Hands on the wall behind you, he cornered you in; and your hands only squeezed tighter on his jaw. It was desperate, like he'd been dying in the desert and you were water -like if he didn't have you now, he would've died.

Your hands slipped to his shoulders, and one of his moved to cup your face -your head was getting woozy. He separated for a moment, eyes darting between yours and pressed forward again -stealing the breath out of your lungs.

"Rick," you breathed out, but he kept pushing kisses onto your lips. Like he could never have enough, "-Rick."

He groaned -apparently eager to keep kissing you, pulling back, "What, baby?"

Your throat went dry, lips smacking shut. That was new, you had never heard him call you baby before. Platonically, sweetheart, darlin', the works. But this was distinctly, romantic.

Rick scanned over you for a moment, a bit in concern -eyes fluttering along your face, "Everythin' okay?"

He was still caging you in, wide expanse of arm just above your shoulder and his face a breath away. Your brain was suddenly short-circuiting, all you could see was Rick and all you could smell was Rick and all you could taste-

"Hey, sweetheart," he moved his hands to hold your face -keeping your eyes solely on him, "-are ya okay? Did I hurt you or-"

"No," you let out in a breath, a little embarrassed, "-you just... you called me baby."

"You don't like 'at? I don't 'ave to-"

"Rick, no," you clarified, burning with embarrassment, "-I like it. I... really like it. You've just never called me baby before."

He smiled, sort of lightly -a little like he was in love with you (which he very much was), "I've never kissed you before either, ya know?"

"Yeah, obviously," you huffed out a breath, "-I'm still getting used to that part too. But I just didn't..."

You groaned, and Rick's grin only got wider.

Pushing your hands into your eyes, you exhaled -shame burning in your stomach, "This is so embarrassing."

He didn't say anything for a moment, before his fingers came to grab at your hands pulling them away from your eyes, "'S not embarrassing, baby, 's cute."

"God, you're going to use that against me forever now," you peeked up at him, "-aren't you?"

He grinned at you, hand coming up to hold your cheek, "Yeah, 'course, I am."

Rick was smiling at you then, his eyes dipping low to your lips and your breaths hollowed out in your chest.

"We really can't-" you tried to contradict, but it was weak willed.

"What's a few more minutes, baby?" Rick hummed, face so close to yours that you could see different shades of blue in his eyes.

You only had so much will.

It would be a waste to use it now anyway.

[banquetwriter]

୨୧ distant love pt: 2 ୨୧

pairing: Rick Grimes ♡︎ fem!Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ canon typical violence, Rick is low-key a cheater (not on reader tho), not beta read we die like Carl

summary: ʚ basically a filler chapter from the CDC to the prison post-Woodburyɞ

Words: 2002

An: hey babies I wrote this on my phone again 😔 also i haven’t seen the earlier seasons in a very long time so mb if it’s not exactly accurate 😔😔

Part 1 Part 3

SUPPORT ME

You and Rick had kept your distance most of the morning. Looking at Shane’s black eye. “Dad, are you hungover? Mom said you would be.” Carl asks as Rick sits down at the table. You let yourself stifle a giggle at the kids' antics. Rick being drunk last night would explain his forward-ness.

You followed the group after breakfast as Jenner explained what exactly was happening to everyone. Why would the dead rise?

You watched as the x-ray video’s corpse re-animated. God that was scary. What was scarier was Jenner locking the doors. You covered your mouth as tears streamed down your face. “Oh my god.” you whimpered out.

You were going to die. You of course found yourself turning to Rick. Who was holding his wife and child? Your heart sinks.

Of course, he would be with them. You were a sidepiece. Why would he protect you? Care for you? He made his choice. It was one that you're going to have to be ok with. Even if you weren't going to live very long.

That's when the doors opened and Rick screamed for everyone else to get their stuff. You ran as fast as you could to escape. Avoiding the shards of glass that spilled everywhere Rick threw the explosive at the glass.

Your eyes rest on Lori and Rick as they sit in the front of the camper. You weren't sure how you could have ever found a real relationship with him. You think back to Lori’s words. Trying to push the two of you together. Your heart burned for her.

How low was she that she wanted her husband to sleep with another woman? You suppose she felt guilty for her and Shane being together. This was a different thought, wasn't it? Rick said he loved you. You weren't sure how much of that you believed.

It was you who saw the way Rick was after Otis accidentally shot Carl. It was you who hugged him, feeling his arms search for a sign that his boy was still alive. It was Rick who begged you to stay with him.

You wanted to, you really did. But that would have been inappropriate and unfair to Carl. This could very well be his last night alive. He shouldn't be confused about why you were there.

You see the color leave his face as he donates more and more blood to his son. Trying to comfort his wife but his eyes linger on your figure unfaithfully. Your curves would comfort him. Your soft skin and happy smiles. That's what he fell for.

He wished this wasn't the way it was. He wished he had met you instead of Lori. Marrying the first girl he could. I mean he did love Lori. As the mother of his children, he would always hold a place for her. She just wasn't you, was she?

You on the other hand shoved your feelings down, deeper than the Mariana trench. Trying to help keep the camp outside on Hershel's Farm going. Doing menial tasks like laundry or cooking. Offering to clean any weapons the group needed youto.

Trying to comfort Lori at every turn, silently becoming almost like a best friend to her. Holding her shoulders as if to say you're sorry for screwing her husband.

You used to help go on runs with Glenn and Maggie until you found them shaking up in the convenience store. It was cute to see young love budding, but seeing them naked was not something you were down to see again.

It made you jealous to see them so in love. You wished you and Rick could be that way. But alas, that's not what life has in store for you. Love. What a joke. A nimbly fickle thing.

You kept a good amount of distance between you and Shane. Not daring to go near him. One night you sat around the campfire with lori and carol. It had been a long day of playing catch-up with chores since Lori had been helping Carl rehabilitate.

“Alright girls, I'm off to bed,” Carol says with a tight-lipped smile. You and Lori talked a little bit about Glenn and Maggie.

“Y/n?” she asks looking up at you. Her gaunt and skinny face looks more and more malnourished these days. “Mm?” you ask, looking at her. “I-I know how he looks at you.” her voice barely above a whisper. You lick your lips, shaking your head.

“Lori, stop,” you ask her. Pleading almost. “You can't keep doing this to yourself, he loves you-” You try to keep your voice down but your heart breaks. “Y/n I'm pregnant,” she says.

For a second your world stops. The fires crackles keeping you grounded. You opened your mouth, unable to say anything. The amount of possible words dying in your throat. “I want it to be Rick’s. I need it to be Rick's,” she says, tears spilling down her face.

Your hands slip up to your face covering it. You let out a low breath. This wasn't about you. This was about her. You think over and over again trying to calm down all the raging emotions going through you.

“Does anyone else know?” you ask slowly, she must be feeling a whirlwind of things none of which you were entitled to have an opinion on. “Glenn does, I needed him to go out n get the tests,” she whispers straightening out her shirt, raising her hand up to her mouth and biting her nails.

Lori is absolutely exhausted, and you know more than ever she should be resting. You stay silent noting that neither potential fathers know she is pregnant. “I don't know what I'm going to do, Glenn has been trying to take care of me.” She gives a pitiful smile.

Her face was tear-stained, the streaks illuminated by the fire. “Well you need prenatal care no doubt.” you said scooting closer to her, grabbing her hands. “I think telling everyone will be the best course of action, when…” you said, pulling her into a hug.

“When you're ready,” you mumble against her shoulder. She thanked you with a sad smile standing up. You didn't sleep well that night. Not that you ever did now. You thought about the women in the next tent over probably also not sleeping.

You thought about the baby that was currently draining her of her energy. You thought of Carl. Recovering from a gunshot wound at such a young age, probably confused and scared most of the time.

And of course you thought of the man also sleeping in that tent. The one that seemed to consume your every thought. You thought of him always. It was a shame. You wished you were Lori sometimes. Sleeping in his arms pregnant with a baby.

You physically shake your head to rid yourself of your selfish thoughts. You were scared of Shane, scared of your feelings for Rick, and scared for Lori.

You were scared of the way your heart wanted to leap out of your chest every time Rick tried to talk to you. The way his rough hands would touch the soft skin of your arms. “Rick…” you breathe out trying to shy away from the older man.

The way he would beg you to stay close to him, his hot breath tickling your neck at his closeness. “This isn't the right time Rick.” you would whisper, eyes flicking up to see his teary ones.

Dark almost permanent circles surrounded his eyes. You pull away from his grasp and run out of the Greene’s house. You stood by Daryl's side as you read him shitty books you found on runs trying to provide him an ounce of comfort as he recovers from the bullet wound that Andrea gave him.

And be would try and provide an ounce of that comfort to you as the barn full of walkers is discovered. Taking all of your willpower not to vomit at the smell. Turning away from the group. Allowing yourself a moment, just a moment of selfish comfort.

As Rick’s arms wrap around you. Breathing in his musky scent. The sounds of the guns firing off still ring in your head. “It's ok, you're going to be ok,” Rick mumbles in your ear. His hand clasped gently in the back of your neck.

As soon as the moment is here it's gone as you see Shane’s angry face peering at the both of you from a few feet away. Your face fills with embarrassment, you rip away from his embrace instead choosing to hug Carol who was sobbing over the loss of her daughter.

You spent the next few days in a constant state of dissasostivate numbness. Unable to feel anything other than fear. Seeing Rick and Shane keep a man locked up in the barn for fear of what he could do.

Even though your group was the one keeping him held, handcuffed, and bound. As soon as he goes missing it seems to bring you out of your state as Shane comes running with a broken nose claiming that the prisoner ran away.

You ran into the house with all the women. Fearing for what was next. Trying to hide in case he came back with his group. Seeing all the panic spread through the group as the barn is set on fire. The horde of walkers attacking your slice of peace.

You barely make it out with your lives. Reconnecting with your group on the highway with everyone. Once again seeing Rick’s eyes falling on you as he hugs you with his family. You turn away from him, finding comfort in Daryl's embrace.

You watched as Rick distended into madness and anger after killing Shane. Demanding that whatever he said went. This was not the man you fell in love with. This was not the human your body craved comfort from.

Revealing how his son had to be the one to put his best friend down after he turned into a walker. Which was bizzare you never took him for type to get bit or even scratched.

That's when Rick reveals the delicate information that you all carry the virus. A crucial piece of information that sends the group into a frenzy of anger. You felt very sick. How could he keep that from you? From the group?

It only went downhill from there. Rick and Lori are always fighting as she grows more and more pregnant. The sheriff was unable to hide his anger towards her. Constantly on the run, even once you find and fortify the prison, the Governor and all of his bullshit wreaks havoc on the group.

It's been 6 months since Woodbury fell, you had a big group. Full of amazing people. A decent farm and garden. Life was decent. Judith was a beautiful baby girl.

You sighed setting your pencil down in the crease of your sketchbook. You had picked it up on a run not too long ago, at first mostly making a few sketches and doodles to entertain Carl.

Although lately, you have been trying to work through your feelings through the pages of the book. Unfortunately, most of them were about Rick. You always observed him when he was working in the fields.

You could almost see the heat radiating off of him. His t-shirt is clinging to his sweaty body. To his strong sculpted muscles. Fuck. He was so hot.

It brought you back to those nights in the quarry. His rough hands gripped your soft flesh. Back arching as you slammed into him. Tongues slipping into each other's throats.

You lick your lips slightly admiring your drawing. It was of a man who looked suspiciously like Rick. His tired haunted face and sculpted body were barely covered. “Hey.” a southern voice took you away from your explicit drawing.

You look up to see the man in your drawing staring right back at you.