#ˑ ☆ ˒ ❪ study. ❫

[drydier]

some things about kar bc i have thoughts.

when they were younger, kar'niss wanted to be a priestess of lolth, not in an attempt to gain power but because they believed themselves to be truly devoted to the spider queen. they were on their way to become a cleric ( trickery domain ) when they failed their test of lolth.

the narrator describes their mind as fractured, and that is not a totally inaccurate description. the act of becoming a drider is a long and excruciating process ( an ordeal that utilized the handmaidens of lolth: yochlols, as well as what is refereed to as flesh warping ) that changes both a drow's very being as well as their body. becoming a drider is a punishment, they lost not only their god but their home and family. they are then infected with the mindflayer parasite, and overtaken by the absolute. their mind is not fully their own.

the cult of the absolute has given them purpose, a home, and in some ways has shown them a kindness lolth and the rest of the underdark never had. kar'niss clings to the concept of the absolute, the idea fate has led them to her embrace, a return to faith after decades of solitude, having been driven out by other drow. karniss will not hesitate to trust other "true souls" though they are more wary of "lower" followers they will not attack first unless provoked. those who follow other faiths are frowned upon, or viewed as heretics in their eyes.

kar'niss is regarded as a prophet or priestess of the absolute. they believe that she speaks to them. that they are able to hear her.

often when kar'niss speaks they will refer to themselves in the third person, using terms such as "we" or "us". they are nonbinary and use any/all pronouns but default to they/them.

[softedgessculptures]

Im thinking of leaving loa community on tumblr

The journey of ALL of us is different and unique. You can scroll through days and hours several posts and several profiles seeing each new law that emerges, each new step, each new technique, which is nothing wrong with doing this because each person with their particular journey just wants to help by teaching what worked best for them; they are angels and have even provided access to it through blogs on Internet... im so grateful for them because im here now with their help and generosity. Meanwhile, we must remember to learn to cultivate the autonomy and self-confidence to set OUR OWN RULES. What worked for someone may seem strange to you, or even not work at all depending on your beliefs and consciousness. "Oh you're doing something wrong" lol there's no wrong and yes just learning. You're on the right path as long as it leads to your unconditional love and peace of spirit, you'll get where you're supposed to have, you learn YES to manipulate energy and manifest through the body/ego (aways this separation, already annoying me honestly) to be happier but your journey is already predestined for you, is what your true form wants for you.

Focus on yourself above your desires, above other profiles, have your rules and your peace. Determine what your limits are and how far YOU want to go. Appreciate and go to support ask for help when you need, have doubts and questions but what matters most is that you DO NOT SEEK APPROVAL to feel Self, as if you depend on x person's affirmation for your power to work. This journey is YOURS. YOU DECIDE.

"Access to Void" You are the Void. You are the void and you are being void right now without realizing it, because you are watching an movie living the consciousness of the body that you're conscious of. Do not chase it, there is no need for this. Also... is there a body to leave?

Read books, study philosophy, metaphysics, physics, theology, study religions, consciousness... if you feel you need it, go after it and consume it until you not only get closer to your Self, but evolve whatever you want in your knowledge. You don't need all this because your manifestation is instantaneous, after all, this reality that you see, your home, your job, the Earth and the world where you live is already a manifestation occurring in "real time", maybe even coming from your old Self believes. It's instantaneous and you can have what you want.

Lol I've been looking for affirmations and approvals in so long, nothing was good enough. One person says x, another person says y; the book says one thing, the teachings say another. It is important to have faith and believe, to move forward with courage and astuteness, even if it seems frightening to know our gigantic and absolute identity. This is also my story, what I witness and believe in my reality... and yours is different from mine. You can just don't turn on and get on with your life discpvering what works better for you, according on you.

Don't forget that the body is limited, so don't expect too much from it... Or wait? Who am I to tell you what's right and what's not?

You can do it because you're loved, strong and wise. Trust in God. Trust YourSelf 💕💕

[kellm4n]

anon asked : Meta + Life after Waystar Royco

to put it simply, there isn't a life for gerri outside of waystar royco. there's the life she imagines for herself, that she demands hundreds of millions of dollars for her firing, for. the life she'd planned, had every intention of getting to with her mouth stuffed with gold. but it's a fantasy, it doesn't exist. the plan was corporate legal consulting, a firm of her own that specializes corporate matters and mergers between companies, the exchange of assets, her position at waystar turned independent, something that she isn't so involved with, but retirement isn't an option for gerri. stagnation isn't in her nature, it doesn't work for her.

maybe she takes some of the waystar legal team with her in her departure, some who are fired during the corporate culling matsson planned, some that leave for personal reasons. she never expected karl or frank to join her, and wouldn't be surprised if they didn't. ( she doesn't send them offers, doesn't accept them into the fold. )

in the days following her firing, she acquires reputation management, she sends various correspondences to karolina and others in the waystar legal team regarding her contract and termination as well as how it should be handled. gerri is in control of the narrative that is going to play. she is all but literally writing her own termination paperwork.

then there is the reality. tom offering her a position she'd already had, a job that had been secured since she found her name missing from the kill list. a sizable pay increase, as well as the payout she'd already requested for her continued silence regarding roman and other waystar bodies she'd assisted in burying. ( roman while no longer a face for waystar, is still family, after all. and his actions would reflect tom in a glaringly negative light. )

she is good at her job, she isn't afraid of the dark, and while her loyalties only extend as far as her interests, it is not hard to align her interests with theirs. money talks, sure. power has far more sway, and this is a deal she'd been in on since it's conception. she has her own demands, the legal team stays, she puts them on her lifeboat, goes over and revises her contract with various added stipulations that benefit her, and give her more clearance perhaps, more independence within the firm, but at the end of the day gerri is so inherently tied to waystar that she can't escape it.

[conheaded-a]

it's so important to me the ways in which connor is his mother's son.

the way he could have turned out differently had he stayed with her / had she not been committed. we see in the show he cares about the RECNY ball, it was his mom's, and he asks logan if he can have it. the RECNY is a charity and he cares about it because it was his mom's, but he tries to offer twisting it into something else, something he thinks logan would approve of. the same way he talks about politics. he is mimicking things there's no doubt logan has said, he just doesn't 100% know how to filter it. what is supposed to be private and what isn't, because connor at his core is honest. not good. but honest. and a lot of that comes from his mother.

[skickatblod]

@offenseonly asked . why send ebba blood? did he ever once consider being normal about his feelings?

i know this was a joke but ALSO

lukas' relationship with emotions is complicated. he thinks he's in love with ebba, and his feelings after the breakup often flicker between infatuation and hatred. he's given her power over him, and she's used it to her advantage and that fascinates him, it entertains him, but she doesn't really use it. he can push, and push and now she's stopped pushing back. they've become the unstoppable force and the immovable object, she's threatening but not doing, they're at a stalemate, and it infuriates him and interests him in equal measure.

lukas has a tendency to push, he likes to test the limits, to see how far others will let him go. other people are puzzles, and he wants to see how they fit together, how to pull them apart. ebba is one of the only people who pushes back, and he enjoys that, certainly enjoyed that when they were together. lukas is obsessive by nature. he is very much the type of person to want thing he shouldn't / can't have. he liked ebba when they were together, however when she broke up with him ? it amplified that feeling, she was a challenge again.

they were off and on for awhile. ( he sent two-three of the bricks during this time. ) the first was the one that made him the most anxious, he sent it and regretted it up until they slept together again, because he did something bad, something he shouldn't, something that could have ruined him, and got away with it without a single consequence. hell he could even convince himself ebba liked it, liked the attention. so he did. and every time they separated he sent her another one. because it was funny, because it was an inside joke, it was something gross and taboo and he was pushing and she was letting him.

the blood itself did start as a joke, as a reminder of what they were in his own odd way. but it became something else, it became an "i miss you" a way for him to give a physical part of himself to her. it was intimate in a way no one else could understand, and she kept it. which is one of the reasons he blames her for his inability to fire her. not because he sent the blood ( though he blames her for that too. ) but because she kept it. she kept that part of him he gave her, she is stuck with him the same way he is stuck with her. their dynamic while not balanced in power, is as close as he can imagine getting, or was until he met shiv but that is a whole other can of worms.

[osgoblins]

quick goblin things .

800% increase in strength, increased stamina, extraordinary pain tolerance, superhuman hearing, the goblin serum was concocted to create super soldiers, and that is what it is. it was created to fight, it was created for violence.

it often finds people's attempts to cause it harm entertaining.

when the goblin encounters other supes / enhanced beings, not because it craves violence ( though it does. ) but because instinct is to test their strength and power against it's own.

the goblin can / will impersonate norman if it feels it will benefit from it. it does a wonderful job at pretending to be him, and most wouldn't know the difference.

the goblin has more control over norman's mind than norman does, and when it wants control norman has to actively fight it, this takes an enormous amount of energy, and is often extremely stressful, but the goblin wins, eventually it always wins. .

if norman is awake / alert then the goblin is aware. it is always lurking. ( when norman is in the drivers seat it is riding shotgun, however if the goblin is in the drivers seat it can decide where it wants norman: sometimes in the passengers seat, other times in the trunk. )

the goblin has a very black and white way of thinking, it often sees the world in strong or weak, gods and ants. it believes itself to be at the top of the food chain, and more often than not will try to rally others it sees as strong to join it's cause. ( you are either with it, or against it. with it or beneath it. ) because of this, the goblin doesn't feel guilt for harming those it considers weak.

it is ( to oversimplify. ) a personification of dark desires, of the taboo, of wants and anger merged with basic animal instinct, given form, given flesh, but it does not fully realize that it is not it's own being, only that it shares shape with norman, and they have common goals, it sees norman as the weakness within itself the same way norman sees it as the darkness in him.

[panahm]

-

[bldwspr]

its so fucking weird to see a guy you were friends with in high school sending people christian chainmail . bro what the fuck happened here

[osaumu]

tags :)

here‚ here 。 `✦ˑ （  here 。）

⸺

[drydier]

tags.

˚ ˑ ₊  ❛   interaction ₍ ₀₀₀ ₎

˚ ˑ ₊  ❛   chara study  ₍ ₀₀₁ ₎

˚ ˑ ₊  ❛   countenance  ₍ ₀₀₂ ₎

˚ ˑ ₊  ❛   aesthetics  ₍ ₀₀₃ ₎

˚ ˑ ₊  ❛   psyche  ₍ ₀₀₄ ₎

[softedgessculptures]

I love studying physics. How can it be so amazing and magnificent?????????? Like. Pff. The math is too little, but the theory, the scientists... I've always loved everything of physics

[kellm4n]

gerri + work .   ( 1 / ??? )

gerri is general counsel ( also known as the chief legal officer )  of waystar royco, a social media conglomerate, she is the in house lawyer, she reports directly to the ceo ( logan r.oy. ) and oversees / identifies legal issues and oversights in all departments.

she is a textbook workaholic. she has always been married to her work, gerri comments “i was never very good at all that [marriage]” to shiv when asked for marital advice, and her attachment to her work did negatively affect her relationship with her daughters. ( though they are closer now than they were growing up, and she has mended it since baird’s death. )  she has always chosen her work over her family. ( this is not to mention j’s idea that she married for advancement in her career, and the age discrepancy between her and baird. or even that goes on dates for information during the doj situation with cruises  ) her work bleeds into her personal life, so far that she is shiv’s godmother.

she is not quite fickle in her loyalties, she is certainly not easily swayed in where she is meant to stand, but every move she makes is in her own self interest. during the vote of no confidence she helps roman and ken to put together a team behind logan’s back, but the moment logan enters the room, she takes advantage of her position in legal and claims to be a neutral party. which is done again with the peirce acquisition. she knows exactly where is needs to be to remain safe because gerri has been at waystar for thirty years, she has been in logan’s orbit, in the abusive work environment.  that is almost if not half of her life, dealing with abuse and toxicity from her boss and co-workers, even people she was supposed to consider friends.

she has fought tooth and nail to climb an unclimbable ladder. gerri is, to put it simply, addicted to her position. it is a lot like gambling, there is a certain amount of uncertainty in the day to day of her life, she is constantly on her feet having to stay six steps ahead of everyone else. she is a woman in a man’s world, a male dominated field ( connor even makes a statement about an old rule logan had which boiled down to no minorities and no women above the fourth floor. ) her life has been consumed by her career, and without it there is an air of uncertainty about who she is, she has no footing.

[nottsangel]

obx porn links vol. 2 ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

warning: 18+ only. these are twitter links that contain porn videos. these are not fics.

nav. // main m.list // blurbs m.list // vol. 1 + vol. 3

— JJ MAYBANK

reverse cowgirl with jj outside

jj sucking and admiring your tits

dom!jj spanking you

giving boyfriend!jj a blowjob

doggystyle with best friend!jj

jj showing you how strong he is

riding roommate!jj in your room

jj fucking you while you’re wearing his shirt

helping jj relax after a long day

enemy!jj fucking you at a party

jj fucking you hard from behind

— RAFE CAMERON

missionary with boyfriend!rafe

ghostface!rafe sneaking into your room and fucking you

dom!rafe punishing you

rafe eating you out after a stressful day

morning sex with rafe

enemy!rafe fingering and choking you

shower sex with rafe

rafe fucking you on his yacht

study sessions with best friend!rafe

rafe admiring your body

riding rafe in his truck

neighbour!rafe fucking you in his bed

[conheaded-a]

𝐐 : WHERE SHOULD YOU BE KISSED ?

𝐀 :  THE FOREHEAD : over-worrying and overthinking everything, your mind is always a whirling storm. no matter how you try, the fears overwhelm all else. you need someone trusted to press a kiss to your forehead, helping to quiet the thoughts that just refuse to settle.

tagged ,    @s4ints​ tagging ,  @cancope​ , @romuolus​ , you if you want !

[krakean]

tags .

˚ ˑ ₊  ❛   prompt ₍ ₀₀₀ ₎

˚ ˑ ₊  ❛   interaction ₍ ₀₀₀ ₎

˚ ˑ ₊  ❛   chara study  ₍ ₀₀₁ ₎

˚ ˑ ₊  ❛   countenance  ₍ ₀₀₂ ₎

˚ ˑ ₊  ❛   aesthetics  ₍ ₀₀₃ ₎

˚ ˑ ₊  ❛   psyche  ₍ ₀₀₄ ₎

[slaughtyr]

shhh ignore me.