#» ทั่วไป ; headcanon

[faemoria]

020. What are their hobbies?

022. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen?

020. What are their hobbies?

truthfully she doesn’t allow herself to have very many  ,  there is ever-so-much work to be done after all  .  however one of the most noteworthy trifles she permits herself is the carving  &&  painting of memory boxes  (  on my blog the memory boxes are made of wood  )  .  she dedicates a not-insignificant amount of resources  &&  time towards acquiring materials to make paints with  &&  finds the whittling of wood to be reminiscent of time spent with her father  .  the vast majority of memory boxes are made by her small faeries  ,  but every now  &&  then she allows herself to work on them  .

aside from that  ,  she collects  &&  practices with an array of weaponry  ,  including the two swords she is most known for  .  toothiana also collects odds  &&  ends that are significant for the memories they contain  .  these things fill her personal quarters to the point that  ,  to anybody but herself  ,  it appears chaotic  &&  unorganized  .

the violin is one of the few instruments that can be played while she flutters about  &&  speaks instructions to her faeries  &&  so she can be found playing it while she works from time to time  .  this is relatively modern in the scope of how long she’s been at all of this  . &&  she has a very impressive collection of books  ,  but at the rate she takes the time aside to actually read them  ,  she won’t be getting through it anytime soon  .

022. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen?

this pertains to a muse that a friend of mine no longer writes  ,  but has shaped this particular headcanon on my blog for many years now  :  what caused toothiana to retreat into her home for 440 years  &&  leave all collection to her small faeries was a run-in with a cupid  .  she came across a performance of a play  &&  was so taken by the experience that the cupid thought she must be looking at someone of her affections  .  he tried to fire an arrow at her  &&  she . . . did not take kindly to it at all  .

in any case  ,  it would be that performance that holds that place in her heart  ,  as it is one of the few precious things she clings to as evidence of mankind’s potential for goodness  &&  creation  .

what would take its place as the most beautiful thing she has ever seen if not for the horror  &&  tragedy it also entailed would be the sister of flight  ,  flying together through the air in a whirlwind as they turned to wood  .  she has never seen anything quite like it since  .

                @alivingdarkness​​​          pay me $7000  &&  i’ll shut up about the tooth fairy  .

[faemoria-arch]

Muse body language

REPOST. DO NOT REBLOG!

DEFENSIVENESS.

arms crossed on chest  //  crossing legs  //  fist-like gestures  //  pointing index finger  //  karate chops  //  stiffening of shoulders  //  tense posture  //  curling of lip  //  BARING OF TEETH

REFLECTIVE.

HAND-TO-FACE GESTURES  //  head tilted  //  stroking chin  //  peering over glasses  //  taking glasses off — cleaning  //  putting earpiece of glasses in mouth  //  pipe smoker gestures  //  putting hand to bridge of nose  //  pursed lips  //  knitted brows

SUSPICION.

arms crossed  //  sideways glance  //  touching or rubbing nose  //  rubbing eyes  //  HANDS RESTING ON WEAPON  //  brows raising  //  lips pressing into a thin line  //  strict  ,  unwavering eye contact  //  wrinkling of nose

OPENNESS & COOPERATION.

open hands  //  upper body in sprinters position  //  SITTING ON EDGE OF CHAIR  //  hand-to-face gestures  //  unbuttoned coat  //  tilted head  //  slacked shoulders  ,  droopy posture  //  feet pointed outward  //  palms flat and facing outward  //  chin up

CONFIDENCE.

hands behind back  //  hands on lapels of coat  //  steepled hands  //  baring teeth in a grin  //  rolling shoulders  //  TIPPING HEAD BACK BUT MANTAINING EYE CONTACT  //  chest puffed up/shoulders back  //  arms folded just above navel  //  hands on hips

INSECURITY & ANXIETY.

chewing pen or pencil  //  rubbing thumb over opposite thumb  //  biting fingernails  //  hands in pockets  //  elbow bent/closed gestures  //  clearing throat  //  “whew” sound  //  picking or pinching flesh  //  fidgeting in chair  //  hand covering mouth whilst speaking  / / poor eye contact  //  tugging at pants whilst seated  //  jingling money in pockets  //  tugging at ear  //  perspiring hands  //  playing with hair  ( feathers in this case )   //  swaying  //  playing with pointer/marker  //  smacking lips  //  sighing  //  rocking on balls of feet  //  FLEXING FINGERS SPORADICALLY

FRUSTRATION.

short breaths  //  “tsk” or grunt like sounds  //  tightly-clenched hands  //  fist-like gestures  //  pointing index finger  //  rubbing hand through hair  ( again  ,  feathers )  // rubbing back of neck  //  snarling  //  REVEALING TEETH / grimacing  //  sharp-eyed glowers with notable tension in brow  //  shoulders back, head up — defensive posturing  //  clenching of jaw  //  grinding teeth  //  nostrils flaring  //  heavy exhales

[faemoria]

                                                 50  , 72  , 99  !

050. How does your character feel about their own mortality?

oh god  .  it’s  .  .  . complicated  .

toothiana is  ,  of course  ,  not mortal in the traditional sense  .  she does  ,  however  ,  very much believe that she will die one day  .  specifically that her work with memories will  (  cause her to lose her sense of self  &&  then steadily  ) burn her out in time          it is the canon of this blog’s main verse that this will happen far  ,  far into the future  .

this is one of the few deaths she can  accept  for herself  :  literally working herself to death  .  so in that sense i suppose toothiana is rather grateful that she will eventually have a ‘ way out ’ that she feels gives respect to the sacrifice of her parents  &&  ancestors  .  otherwise she would plan on guarding punjam hy loo until it turns to dust  &&  protecting memories for literally ever  &&  honestly she has to walk this sort of delicate line of telling herself exactly that so she doesn’t feel like she’s looking forward to throwing away the life that so many people died for  .

on the other hand  ,  there are many deaths with she  cannot  accept for herself  &&  as such we see that she is hyper-vigilant  &&  can be near-animalistic in her survival mechanisms  .  this is  ,  again  ,  because she is not just living for herself anymore  &&  hasn’t been for a very long time  .  survivor’s guilt still plagues her sense of self-worth very heavily  .

&&  then on the other  other  hand there is a relationship she has with adrenaline  &&  risk-taking that complicates everything ever further  ,  because she simultaneously does not feel safe when something is threatening her  &&  she also does not  trust  feeling safe as much as she trusts being in danger to prove that she is alive  .  trauma at such a young age simply rewrote her brain in that sort of irrational way  .

072.  in a dungeons & dragons game  ,  which class would your character be  ?  (  wizard, fighter, bard  ,  priest  ,  ranger  ,  etc.  )

answered this one here  !

099.  do they talk to inanimate objects  ?

not that i can think of  .  she speaks to her little faeries more than anything else  &&  she might speak to the  memories  in an object  ,  but i don’t think she speaks much to the objects themselves  .

              @somniaxperdita​          pay me $7000  &&  i’ll shut up about the tooth fairy  .

[faemoria]

one of the major differences between my toothiana  &&  tooth in the movies is that  ,  being based on the books  ,  she’s actually kind of a loner  .  toothiana isn’t entirely unsociable  ,  but she is both untrusting  &&  preoccupied with A Lot™ ,  all the time  .  i often fudge this on my blog for the sake of actually  .  .  .  well  ,  having interactions  ,  but really i just have it in mind that interactions between tooth  &&  other characters are usually happening with weeks  ,  if not months  ,  of time between them unless there’s specific reason to think other wise  .

this goes for the other guardians too  !  in the books  ,  the other guardians aside from nightlight  (  who are present at the time  )  didn’t even know  who  toothiana was  ,  let alone know that she was another guardian until she revealed her artifact  .  as far as i’m concerned  ,  toothiana had knowledge of them through her work  &&  travelings given that she seems more holistically aware of the on-goings of the world  (  including knowing of seraphina  )  ,  but simply sharing the ‘guardian of childhood’ title was not enough for her to consider them inherently worth trusting when she had just been attacked on top of everything  .

this blog does still acknowledge the major events of the movie however  ,  simply with toothiana’s personality  , abilities  ,  &&  motivations being true to my portrayal  .  i have a small list of what that entails here  ,   which covers how pitch’s plan could still remain the same in practice despite these differences  &&  such  (  however due to toothiana’s different personality in the books  &&  movie  ,  it is safe to say that she did not  respond  to the events the same way  )  .  &&  rufftoon’s comics are some of my favorite pieces of world building for rotgoc  ,  but i don’t presume the specific events have happened until the person i’m writing with does . overall  ,  my toothiana’s relationship with the other guardians is probably more distant than it might be presumed based on movie canon  ,  but she respects them in a very career-like manner  .  here are some of my thoughts on toothiana’s relationship with the other major four as stands in this blog’s present time  (  as always don’t feel obligated to adhere to them if you’re writing the character involved !  )  oh also if you didn’t already know  ,  i literally ship everything in this god forsaken series  .  otps are old school  ,  this blog is here for the ot6 .

jack / nightlight          to begin with  ,  tooth is far closer to jack than she ever was  ,  or would have been  ,  with nightlight  .  she does not consider them to be the same person  .  i still feel like toothiana’s brief relationship with nightlight is very important to that transformation however  .  in the books we see that it is toothiana’s influence that causes nightlight to contemplate his willingness to hurt  ,  or even kill  ,  pitch despite the understanding that he is or was ‘human’ .  i figure these are the types of things that helped spur him from being a never-aging boy made of laughter  ,  to a sprite embodying the fun  &&  cold of winter  . jack is someone tooth feels an inherent kinship towards  .  his centre  ,  mind for mischief  &&  aloof nature may seem like it should be at odds with her more serious  &&  strict one  ,  but anybody who’s been on this blog for more than a minute knows that toothiana’s nature is hardly so binary  && no one brings out the fun-loving girl of her childhood  ,  or the impishness of her faerie blood more than jack frost  . in every single verse that he is present in  , i write toothiana  &&  jack as though they are soulmates  ,  even if it is not necessarily in a romantic sense  .  (  i wrote a little bit about how this blog handles shipping them romantically/sexually here however.  ) north           toothiana appreciates a lot of things about north but found him to be a little too overwhelming to spend regular time with after the events which required it finished unfolding  .  i like to assume he throws a pretty wild celebration for christmas each year   &&  that she attends these for a short amount of time because  he bullied her into it  it’s important to him   &&  they are some of the few gatherings of that manner she finds some enjoyment in  ,  but otherwise she doesn’t really go out of her way to visit him in the north pole or anything like that  .  as mentioned here  ,  she collaborated with north on a few elements of expanding punjam hy loo  ,  resulting in some interesting mix of russian architecture in some of the newer areas !  i assume that toothiana’s years  &&  nature still puts her above north in terms of swordplay  ,  but he would certainly be one of the most enjoyable people to spar with due to his own skill level  . e. aster bunnymund          though not to the same extent as jack  ,  tooth bonded with bunnymund very naturally  .  enough so that she will actually check in to see how he is a few times a year  .  she appreciates his own fondness for crafting things with his hands  &&  exchanges ideas  && methods for making paints to use on the memory boxes she carves  ,  as well as sharing things from their gardens  .  the voiceless manner they support each other in tooth’s palace in the movie is something i adore  &&  definitely like to consider an element of their relationship  . sanderson mcsnoozie            sandy is probably the one toothana feels most distant from  ,  but has the most respect for  .  while she despises any effort to use age as a matter of authority  (  don’t fight the queen of memories about the concept of ‘ experience ’  )    &&  i suspect they conflict on quite a few philosophies   &&  also she will lose her shit if he tries to force her to sleep off her own schedule  ,  she still respects his perspicacity .  she is also forever fascinated by the prospect of the golden age   && loves learning more about it from him  . toothiana  &&  sandy are the two guardians with very tangible year-long responsibilities  &&  the nature of them seems like it would lead to them crossing paths more often than anyone else  ,  however i imagine this is usually a silent acknowledgement unless there is something important to share  .  tooth appreciates watching him work however  &&  will try to schedule her breaks to witness his dream sand carry through the cities below her home  .

[faemoria]

                                                        60 and 70 ? 

060.  what is your character’s attitude toward education  &&  learning  ?

     tooth is definitely open-minded towards learning new things  &&  undoubtedly has a level of value in the idea of being well-informed  ,  as was instilled in her by both her parents  .  she obtains most of her knowledge through memories  &&  observation of the world  ,  but as mentioned before she does have a very noteworthy &&  ever-growing collection of books that she is very slowly making her way through  .  she’s never been to any actual type of schooling in her main verse however  .  the closest to that would be the time spent under tutelage of other faeries when she was younger  &&  reforging her parent’s swords into her own  .

070. What about your character is cowardly?

i answered this the last time that i posted this meme  ,  so i am going to copy   &&  paste from that  !

       i hesitate to refer to anything that has been shaped by traumas as  ‘ cowardly ’  for the same reason that i would not claim the  above mentioned  to be necessary to be considered  ‘ brave ’  ,  but toothiana’s extreme hesitation to trust others is born of a desire to  avoid  facing certain fears  ,   as are some of her very general compartmentalizations  &&  self-destructive behaviors  (  overworking  ,  thrill-seeking that directly conflicts with her over-tuned survival instinct  ,  isolation  ,  etc .  )  .

        i don’t think these make someone cowardly on their own  ,  but because she will actively choose a harmful behavior that feels more familiar over a more beneficial one that is uncomfortable through its defiance of routine  ,  sometimes to the detriment of not only herself but the people she cares about  ,  i feel it’s safe to say these decisions are made through cowardice  .

                @sylvansoldier​​​​           pay me $7000  &&  i’ll shut up about the tooth fairy  .

[faemoria]

there are four major differences between this blog’s canon  &&  the rise of the guardians movie  ,  as well as four major differences between it  &&  the books  .  things have been adapted such that the  events  which take place in both media have happened to my portrayal of toothiana as well . as for those differences however . movie :

1.  toothiana’s ability to fly is because she is a sister of flight  ,  not because of the belief children have in her  .  so while taking that belief away certainly would make her weaker due to the various ways belief  does  empowers her  ,  it would not stop her from being able to fly  .  not everything supernatural that toothiana does is because of her being a guardian  ,  she is also a sister of flight  ,  a member of the faefolk  &&  the queen of memories  .

2. one of the things that is based on her being a guardian however is actually the exact opposite of what the movie presents  :  toothiana  &&  her faeries are better able to stay  out of sight  of adults  &&  some children because of it  .  if someone has enough belief in her specifically or is so open-minded that they legitimately believe in the supernatural  ,  they can probably spot her  ,  so she still has to make some effort to be fairly subtle in her travels  .  she also can  ,  of course  ,  present herself to them if she chooses  ,  but otherwise the human mind tends to fill in the gaps of what they are not certain of  ,  thinking that rush of colours to be a figment of their imagination  ,  or that it must have been much smaller than they thought  &&  was simply a bird or something of that sort . because  .  .  . you know  .  fae magic . 3. toothiana’s faeries begin as a direct  reflection  of her  &&  come to have their own personalities as they live their lives  ,  but at the core of things the memory queen’s values  &&  beliefs are within them  .  this means her fears are as well  . &&  she is limited in how many she can create by how strong she is at the given moment  by her own capability to handle receiving the thoughts  &&  information of so many other creatures  .  at this point in blog canon  ,  she can make  &&  sustain about 2,400  .  (  it might be worth noting that toothiana is currently at her peak of strength  &&  growing stronger  ,  so she’ll be able to handle more in time  .  ) 4.  that said  ,  when pitch kidnapped toothiana’s faeries  ,  a few things had her backed in a corner  .  one  ,  she could not make enough faeries to replace them so long as the other faeries were alive  ,  or she would risk losing her own mind in the collective consciousness  .  two  ,  pitch himself was keeping the faeries alive  .  three  ,  she could not order her faeries to kill themselves  .  pitch’s presence amplified their worst fears as well  ,  which as mentioned earlier  ,  originate from Toothiana  .  they were too terrified to die  &&  because those feelings were communicated back to their queen  ,  she herself became too frightened to kill them or experience the feeling of them dying .

book :

1. There is no singular flying elephant  .  she handles the memories on her own  &&  when pitch staged an ambush in punjam hy loo it was toothiana who would have to do what he asked on her own  .  (  there are flying elephants but they got scared off when the rest of the sister of flight turned to wood  &&  spend their time up in the sky now .  toothiana includes them under her domain of things that she is responsible to protect  .  )

2. toothiana’s ‘status’ as it were  ,  went in the following order  : sister of flight ->  queen of memories -> guardian of childhood  .  she was already handling the memories left over in her palace before becoming a guardian  &&  it was because of her aptitude for working with them  &&  their cooperation with her that toothiana was sought out to become a guardian  .  her priorities reflect this order at the end of the day  .

3. toothiana  must  give something in exchange for the teeth  ( or alternative container for memories )  she collects from children  ,  if they belong to them in the first place  .  it is a deal of sorts .  if she finds them lost  ,  or someone else picked them up  ,  there is no need  .  but otherwise it is a compulsion  &&  just one example of how she remains a member of the faefolk  ,  even if she does not associate with that particular string of kin very much  .

4. &&  lastly she doesn’t have a retconned-in sister because  .  .  .  no  .  part of the strength of toothiana’s character is that she was made to feel completely  &&  utterly alone at key times of her development  &&  still rose from that wanting to do good in the world  .

[faemoria]

                                                                       94 ~

094.  name three things most would not expect your character to be able to know  .

oh that’s a tough one  she knows so much more than me asldkjklsdj

okay 1 .  toothiana does not know about kozmotis because the fearlings have their own grip on pitch’s memories  &&  she has never felt any incentive  (  nor had the opportunity in most verses  ) to try  &&  work past them  .

2 .  similarly  ,  she is unaware of the connection between pitch  &&  seraphina in most verses because toothiana makes an effort not to pry through people’s memories when she doesn’t need to in general  ,  but she is especially respectful of seraphina’s privacy  .

3 .  so in that vein  ,  toothiana doesn’t immediately know the backstory of every character she meets for the same reason         an effort to respect people’s privacy  &&  boundaries  ,  as well as me  ,  the author  ,  trying not to cross over lines of people want to keep hidden about their muses  .  she does  ,  however  ,  get imprints of their strongest memories without really having much control over it  .  if  ,  for instance  ,  someone’s personality is widely shaped by a sad memory involving flowers  ,  when near them toothiana will get this sense of melancholy  &&  the thought of flowers stuck in her head in a similar way that you  &&  i get music stuck in our heads  .

         @shiningsilverarmor​​          pay me $7000  &&  i’ll shut up about the tooth fairy  .

[faemoria]

                                                           questions 1-9 ALSO 72

001.  when is their birthday  ?

march 14th is toothiana’s birthday  .  the year is a ~*~mystery~*~  ,  but she is somewhere between 3000  &&  5000 years old  .  comparably young to many other spirits  ,  but old enough to have a distinctly immortal’s perspective on the world  &&  what not  .

002.  do they do anything to celebrate their birthday  ?

the eve of toothiana’s birthday was the day her parents were killed  (  you can read more about my decision for why that’s the case despite being so cliche here but the tldr ; is that i don’t think toothiana’s parents were willing to risk seeing her while they were on the run without very special occasion  &&  that was used to entrap them  )  so her association with the day is thoroughly marred because of it  .  through interactions on my blog she has made some friends  &&  acquaintances who see fit to gift her things on her birthday however  &&  she always accepts these things with a graceful appreciation  .

003.  does your character like coffee better  ,  or tea  ?

she will drink either  ,  but she drinks tea regularly  &&  only drinks coffee from rare time to time  .  her favorite is oolong when it comes to warm teas  &&  cha yen for chilled  .

004.  do they prefer being alone or with others  ?

this is a little bit tricky because toothiana is an undeniably extroverted  &&  sociable person by nature  ,  but she is also a paranoid  &&  hyper-vigilant one by nurture  .  she will choose to be alone because it feels safest  &&  it is how she can best focus on the work which she dedicates herself so fully to  ,  but the truth is that she has felt very lonely since she was a child  .  (  given that she felt like she did not belong with people or animals  &&  her parents  &&  ancestors were taken from her so suddenly  .  )

005.  are they in good health  ?

not only is toothiana in good health but she is at the peak of her strength  &&  growing stronger  .  she doesn’t have to worry about nutrition  &&  diet the same way we do  ,  but she still eats very healthy simply by preference  &&  of course she is always on the move so she has plenty of exercise on the regular  .  toothiana also doesn’t get sick  ,  the closest to it would be the means in which she can be poisoned  (  either traditionally or by magic  )  ,  which she has a very high tolerance for  .

006.  what sense do they most rely on  ?

i know this probably means of the five basic senses  ,  but i feel like the most accurate answer is that she relies on her instincts as a whole  . for the basic five however  ,  it depends on what she is being expected to rely on them for  .  toothiana relies on her sight for keeping track of her surroundings for instance  ,  but when it comes to objects of her affection she is very tactile  .  her work with memories also entail all the senses on a regular basis  .

007.  is your character an optimist or a pessimist  ?

she’s a little bit of a pessimist  ,  if only because she always wants to know the worst possible scenario at any given moment  .  she leans harder into it for certain subjects  .  humans  ,  for instance  ,  are regularly trying the faith she has tried to keep in them  .

008.  what is their favorite fairy tale  ?

probably the folktale about why parrots echo people  .  it’s a thai fairy tale that basically goes  :  people used to keep lorikeets in their home until one of them was made to testify in a court against their owner  .  but the owner tricked them the night before by making them think there was a storm  ,  so when the bird spoke of a storm in court  ,  everybody knew the weather had been clear the night before  &&  thus assumed the lorikeet couldn’t be trusted anymore  .  the judge then ordered that everybody let their lorikeets go into the wild  . later the lorikeet meets a parrot  &&  warns them that humans do not always want the truth or the wisdom they have to offer  ,  so when the parrots decided to live with people  ,  they took this advice  &&  only ever repeated back what the humans said  .

009.  do they believe in happy endings  ?

she tries very hard to convince herself that they exist  .

072.  in a dungeons & dragons game  ,  which class would your character be  ?  (  wizard, fighter, bard  ,  priest  ,  ranger  ,  etc.  )

toothiana would be a swordmage  !  unsurprisingly her field of magic would specialize in that of memories if the DM would allow such things  .  

  @therealricksanchezpleasestandup          pay me $7000  &&  i’ll shut up about the tooth fairy  .

[faemoria]

         toothiana’s abilities with memories in most verses on this blog are far from their full potential  &&  will not reach anywhere  close to  their full potential before she dies  .         generally speaking she can  ‘ read ’  the memories of any creature  ,  object  ,  or thing  ,  although there are some magics/entities she is not willing to  fight  against to do so  (  for instance  ,  fearlings  )  .  she can force a consciousness to remember things  ,  or alter their memories  ,  at risk of causing  great harm  if she is not very delicate  .  memories are  drawn  to her  &&   so she receives general impressions of the memories that strongly define a person’s personality or their current mood when near by  .  memories also secure themselves away in a manner that is convenient for their queen  (  baby teeth in the case of most humans  ,  allowing for a  ‘ trade ’  because fae stuff   )  .  languages go hand in hand with memories  &&  so toothiana can understand  &&  speak all of them  ,  including those that are abstract  &&  not communicated through word  .       simply being near toothiana creates a feeling of  nostalgia  at least  ,  complete temporal whiplash  in far rarer ,  extreme circumstances  .  lastly  ,  toothiana is  incapable  of forgetting anything  ,  including the memories she experiences of other people  &&  things  .  what’s most significant about this is the fact that she still retains a sense of self with all that she has known  ;  many would not even be able to function if they remembered  every  memory of their own life  .          were she to strengthen herself  &&  her abilities further  ,  she could accomplish some minor additions  :  affect things from a further distance  ,  access memories that are being hidden from her  (  again  ,  by fearlings for instance  )  without distress  , remain herself through the countless more memories she will experience  ,  etc .          at a  MUCH higher level however  ,  such as her eldritch verse  ,  the scale of things becomes far larger  .  toothiana can eventually become capable of completely rewriting or altering the memories of  anything  including realities themselves  .  she can literally make the universe ‘forget’ a thing existed  &&  so it won’t anymore or vice-versa  && while she makes changes that follow a linear time  ,  she is not bound to it herself  .  in that verse specifically she takes on the role of empathy  ,  but  memories  are still her centre  &&  her strength in retaining her sense of self through all of them is what makes her the dominant personality of the concept  .

[faemoria]

      a recap  &&  for those unfamiliar with the books  :  there was once a powerful maharajah who loved to hunt  ,  taking his  ‘ best friend ’  (   haroom , a slave  &&  skilled tracker  )  along with him  .  he sought to hunt the rarest of animals  &&  hearing story of mystical flying elephants eventually drew him to punjam hy loo  ,  armed with a golden bow  &&  ruby-tipped arrow made to secure his greatest kill  .  there  ,  the sister of flight descended  ,  weapons drawn  ,  freezing the two men in fear  .  however  ,  the maharajah looked at the ethereal  ,  monstrous beings  &&  knew then he would find no better trophy  .  he turned his aim to the one of the sisters  .  but haroom could not stand to see her come to harm  &&  against the will of his master  ,  moved in front of the shot  .

      in return for his selflessness, haroom was healed by the one he defended        rashmi        &&  they fell in love  .  he begged the sisters to spare his former master as they moved to strike  &&  they agreed  ,  in return that the maharajah leave what he had brought behind  :  his weapons  ,  his slave  &&  further  ,  his vanity  &&  his cruelty  .  &&  without those  ,  there was little left  ,  certainly not enough to deem human  .  his features changed to that of a monkey  &&  he fled speaking nothing but gibberish  .

        years passed  &&  haroom  &&  rashmi had a child  ,  human in appearance  &&  named toothiana  .  they raised her in a human village because of this  ,  however as she came to age she grew wings  &&  feathers  &&  claws like the sister of flight before her  .  the adults of her village were blinded by fear of what they thought to be an evil spirit  ,  or greed for what they thought would make a valuable tool to have at their disposal  ,  so they hired hunters to capture her  .  &&  disguised in cloaks  ,  the now self-proclaimed monkey king  &&  his following came to do so  .

        first  ,  he  &&  the villagers captured toothiana’s parents to lure her forward  &&  killed them . then  ,  a few years later  ,  the monkey king set a trap that was able to catch toothiana  &&  carted her back to punjam hy loo  .

       he revealed himself then  &&  proclaimed that killing toothiana before the sister of flight was his revenge for the transformation put upon him all those years ago  .  but the future-queen was able to escape her confinement  .  she took the monkey king’s throat in her hand , lifting him in her fury .

 &&  then she let him go , allowing him to flee into the jungle once more . this was presumably an act of mercy .

      𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 !! 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓼 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓭 !! 

      perhaps it was an act of mercy at the time  ,   truly  .  toothiana has always felt that her father would have wanted her to spare the monkey king while her mother would not  .  but soon toothiana was to join the sisters of flight in punjam hy loo  &&  learn that the murder of her mother meant the death of them all  .  in time this would come to mean the rage in toothiana’s heart would not settle on simply allowing the monkey king to live or die for a few reasons  .

     for one thing  &&  perhaps most detrimentally  ,  he became a stark point of stability  .  toothiana desperately needed a focus for her anger when she was younger  ,  which otherwise was volatile between him  ,  herself  ,  her parents  ,  humanity  &&  just about anything else it could be turned to  .  if there was nothing to turn  &&  point to  &&  say  ‘ this , this is my enemy ’ then everything would be  .

     secondly  ,  she had the classic fear of  ,  ‘ if i kill the monster  ,  am i any less of a monster myself ? ’  but eventually this became irrelevant as toothiana came to accept the monstrous facet of her identity  .

   toothiana kept tabs on the monkey king as she grew older  ,  from her kingdom of punjam hy loo  ,  via her faeries  &&  the array of surrounding animal life that has sought to serve her since she was a child  .  it was her decree that he would never be allowed rest  &&  so the creatures would not allow him to sleep or settle in one place for long  .  but also it was well-known what he had done to the warrior queen  &&  so it was no one else’s place to kill him either  .  he could suffer  ,  but it was not yet his time to die  .

    early on  ,  toothiana would find him herself at times  ,  his worsened state was something of a solace  ;;  a feeling of empowerment  &&  it was important to her that he know his life now belong to her  .  but as the years passed  ,  toothiana took claim to more than being just the vengeful warrior queen of punjam hy loo  .  she became strongly dedicated to her role as a guardian  &&  thus bothered herself with him less  &&  less  ,  sans what could be labeled infrequent ‘ reminders ’ over the years  .  with this loosened leash he fled all the way into the jungles of china  ,  where he took on the name wukong  .

     the monkey king recovered strength  &&  grew some in power  ,  fostering his army along the way  ,  but in comparison to the memory queen  ,  ever-growing in her strength since the days of her childhood  ,  he was still weak  &&  she knew he would not dare show himself in her domain as he was  .  then he allied himself with pitch  &&  so go the events of the third book  .  pitch  &&  the monkey army are defeated  .  the monkey king flees once more  ,  but this time toothiana does not let him get far  &&  so now he remains within the jungles of thailand  .

     toothiana no longer feels empowered when she looks upon the monkey king  .  he is too pathetic now  ,  the power discrepancy between them has grown too great   . any attempt he could make to harm her would be laughable  &&  the torment she has placed on him has left him broken  .  to kill him now would be a mercy  ,  but still she waits  ,  unwilling to even let him do the deed himself  .

[faemoria]

      as haroom died the same day as rashmi  ,  the same also remains true that toothiana will never have any real closure in regards to whether she is doing him proud  &&  thus we turn to writer’s prerogative again  .

       haroom would be proud of his daughter almost unconditionally  ,  but his pride in toothiana as she is today would be bittersweet  .

       as far as looks go  ,  toothiana definitely inherited far more from her mother’s side in the most obvious of ways  ,  but a lot of her face takes more from him  ( chin shape  ,  nose  ,  lips  ,  etc.  )  .  his skin tone was lighter than rashmi’s  &&  it seems their daughter’s is somewhere in the middle of them both  .  likewise   , rashmi was more inhuman looking  &&  haroom’s genetics diluted some of those more  monstrous  qualities  .  there was not much time for her to pick up on specific  ,  physical mannerisms of either of them  ,  but a few things did catch on  .  for instance  ,  when toothiana runs her hands through her hair or feathers  ,  it’s practically a mirror image of haroom doing the same thing  ,  down to the weight shifted in her legs if she is standing .

        moreover  ,  this is a very simplified way of breaking down the makings of a personality  ,  especially give the trauma involved in her childhood but  ;;  where as toothiana obtained her more holistic views          such as that constant vigilance  ,  a mind for striking before anyone else has the opportunity to  ,  the means of holding oneself as a queen  ,  an inherent distrust of humans          in part from her mother  ,  she learned many of her more personal values from her father  .  those being the things like individual acts of compassion  ,  a penchant for hospitality  ,  appreciation for her more immediate surroundings  &&  for the little things that bring about ones own happiness  .  things that are often smothered down by what toothiana considers to be her responsibilities as queen of memories  ,  guardian of childhood  &&  status as the last sister of flight  ,  but were heavily fostered during her short time living as a child .

          that is not to say that rashmi was  ‘ the mean one ’  &&  haroom was  ‘ the nice one ’  ,  but being the human between the two  ,  haroom  &&  his beliefs were more grounded  in  humanity .  also i am more than a little skeptical of the idea that a slave  &&  his master can truly be  ‘ friends ’  ,  but even aside that  ,  his time in servitude would give haroom a far different outlook on what  ' goodness ’  is than a being which spent most of her life transcending mankind  .  haroom was humble  ,  at times to a fault  .

         but to great virtue as well  .  toothiana’s father was the sort of man who would take joy in sharing his favorite meal  ,  who would find it a great honor to be approached by a wild animal  &&  the ability to live off the land comfortably  .  he would have a dedication to long  &&  difficult work  ,  but what would inspire him to do it in the first place would be a mind for how it would enrich the lives of another person or his family  .  both parents taught toothiana various crafts  ,  but the ones learned from haroom tend to inspire comfort  .  such as weaving or carving wood into instruments  &&  knick-knacks  .

       haroom would understand that the roles toothiana fills must be seen to  &&  he would likely be plenty proud to see all that she accomplishes  ,  but that she uses them to define so much of who she is would be a point of worry if nothing else  .  she seemingly does very little for herself outside of an instinct for survival  &&  her interpersonal relationships are quite few  ( granted by blog canon  ,  the past small number of years have been a successful effort to hesitantly acquaint herself with more people  ,  but it is still a drop in the pond for someone that has lived thousands of years  )  .  haroom loved others inherently  &&  the idea that his daughter must live in such a state of hyper-vigilence  ,  even when trying to do good for mankind from a distance  ,  would make him plenty sad on its own  .  but the fact that her experiences have fostered so much rage  &&  hate in her  ,  would absolutely break his heart .

     it was his desire that toothiana grow up among humans only in part because she appeared to be one early in her childhood  ,  but far more importantly  :  haroom’s faith in them did not die despite the earlier actions of the maharaja  ,  he forgave his former master  (  &&  would have stepped in front of that arrow for his wife again without hesitation  )  .  &&  haroom felt the monkey king’s punishment to be a fitting  &&  fair one for his disrespect towards fellow creatures in the world  .

         the remaining  ,  jagged  ,  chipped  ,  but nonetheless surviving faith in humanity that keeps toothiana from abandoning mankind entirely is most certainly in thanks to her father  .  she did not  ,  however  ,  pick up his aptitude for forgiveness  .

art credit : i could not find a proper source for this image .

[faemoria]

tag dump

[faemoria-arch]

          UGH okay my brain won’t let me write out the headcanon properly but i don’t want to forget to write it when i’m capable of thinking words SO  :            toothiana’s abilities with memories in most verses on this blog are far from their full potential  &&  will not reach anywhere  close to  their full potential before she dies  .  generally speaking she can  ‘ read ’  the memories of any creature  ,  object  ,  or thing  ,  although there are some magics/entities she is not willing to  fight  against to do so  (  for instance  ,  fearlings  )  .  she can force a consciousness to remember things  ,  or alter their memories  ,  at risk of causing  great harm  if she is not very delicate  .  memories are  drawn  to her  &&   so she receives general impressions of the memories that strongly define a person’s personality or their current mood when near by  .  memories also secure themselves away in a manner that is convenient for their queen  (  baby teeth in the case of most humans  ,  allowing for a  ‘ trade ’  because fae stuff   )  .  languages go hand in hand with memories  &&  so toothiana can understand  &&  speak all of them  ,  including those that are abstract  &&  not communicated through word  .  simply being near toothiana creates a feeling of  nostalgia  at least  ,  complete  temporal whiplash  in far rarer ,  extreme circumstances  .  lastly  ,  toothiana is  incapable  of forgetting anything  ,  including the memories she experiences of other people  &&  things  .  what’s most significant about this is the fact that she still retains a sense of self with all that she has known  ;  many would not even be able to function if they remembered  every  memory of their own life  .           were she to strengthen herself  &&  her abilities further  ,  she could accomplish some minor additions  :  affect things from a further distance  ,  access memories that are being hidden from her  (  again  ,  by fearlings for instance  )  without distress  , remain herself through the countless more memories she will experience  ,  etc .  at a  MUCH  higher level however  ,  such as her eldritch verse  ,  the scale of things becomes far larger  .  toothiana can eventually become capable of completely rewriting or altering the memories of  anything  including realities themselves  .  she can literally make the universe ‘forget’ a thing existed  &&  so it won’t anymore or vice-versa  && while she makes changes that follow a linear time  ,  she is not bound to it herself  .  in that verse specifically she takes on the role of empathy  ,  but  memories  are still her centre  &&  her strength in retaining her sense of self through all of them is what makes her the dominant personality of the concept  .

[faemoria-arch]

toothiana’s disinterest in having her own children is nothing to do with her being like  ,  bad with kids or anything like that  .  she’s quite good with kids  ,  if only a little odd in her priorities for keeping them safe          hence folks of  any  age that find themselves staying in her home often  ,  in turn  ,  finding themselves training in weapons  &&  stuff like that  .  then again it’s not a very healthy outlook to train every child like a soldier either  .  .  .  her disinterest in having her own children            biologically she  𝓬𝓪𝓷’𝓽  ,  she doesn’t have the anatomy for it  ,  but magic   &&  adoption are methods that could be explored if she cared to             is due to the understanding that she would project her own fears  &&  anxieties onto them  ,  as well as the fact that she feels like an inherent danger to the people she keeps close to her  ,  as survivors guilt is prone to cause  .  it’s why she tends to spend more time around muses in general that can kind of handle themselves  &&  makes a point of giving that same impression in hopes of not allowing anybody she loves to humor the idea that she would ever even  want  them to risk themselves on her behalf  . that said  ,  when toothiana’s relationship with children gets  ‘ too ’  close  ,  it often leads to some of the most interesting interactions i can recall having on my blogs  .  in the case of @howlblack​  it was unintentional through magic with absolutely no romantic  (  or even sexual  )  cause behind it  &&  she had to come to terms with a lot before even being willing to emotionally connect with him  &&  for a long time the poor boy was only taken care of on the most base level of being provided shelter  &&  such  .  toothiana felt as though she was becoming too close to  @erromes​  &&  that their conflicting morality would cause nahia more suffering that she was already destined to go through  &&  for that reason attempted to steel herself against allowing them to be close  .  in times she has been too harsh against his adoptive brother when around @ofdeathandfear​​ without taking into proper consideration that he is someone valrún greatly looked up to  &&  was undoubtedly a positive influence in his life  ,  because she was simply too hyper-focused on anything she considered a risk or threat  .

so maybe it’s best to say that toothiana is ‘ quite good with kids ’  in moderation  .  the temporary visits  ,  the homestays  ,  everything like that she is great  &&  comforting  &&  engaging with children  &&  not treating them like they are incapable of understanding things when presented the right way         something that is especially important when it comes to returning memories for their benefit after all .  it’s when she is made to raise a child  &&  play a regular  ,  constant fundamental element to their growth that she could definitely use a lot more practice in  .

ah to clarify though  ,  ‘ could use more practice in ’ doesn’t mean with the intent of having a child in every/any ship on this blog  .  there’s a few folks she could maybe be comfortable with in that respect one day  (  @materxnatura​  &&  @ledovna​ come to mind immediately  )  but just generally an element of her personality that she could learn to improve for the sake of better supporting the children she influences somewhat regularly  .

[faemoria-arch]

                damn right  .

[faemoria-arch]

Shakespearean Aesthetics

𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨  &.  𝐣𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐭.    suburban  july.  scraped  knees.  bruised  knuckles.  blood in your teeth.  bare  feet  on  hot  concrete. restlessness.  your  high  school’s  empty  parking lot. love  poems  in  your  diary.  a  window  open  to  coax  in  the  breeze.  BURNING INSIDE.  an  ill - fitting  party  dress.  a  t - shirt  you  cut  up  yourself.  the  time  you  tried  to  give  yourself  bangs.  biking  to  your  friends  house. bubble  gum. gas  station  ice.  the  feeling  that  you’ve  met  before. rebellion.  a  car  radio  playing  down  the  street.  cheap  fireworks. a  heart  drawn  on  the  inside  of  your  wrist  with  a  sharpie.  switchblades.  red  solo  cups.  dancing  in  your  bedroom.  screaming  yourself  hoarse.  running  out  of  options.  the  forlorn  looking  basketball  hoop  at  the  end  of  a  cul - de - sac.  climbing  onto  your  roof  at  night  while  your  parents  are  asleep.  flip - flops.  a  eulogy  written  on  loose - leaf.  the  merciless  noontime  sun.

𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐥𝐞𝐭.   speaking  in  a  whisper.   holding  your  breath. a  browning  garden. a  half  remembered  story.  furniture  covered  with  sheets. fog  at  dawn, mist  at  twilight. losing  touch.  the  ethereal  space  between  winter  and  spring.  the  soft  skin  at  your  temple. the  crack  in  the  hallway  mirror. things  you’d  say  if  you  knew  the  words. uncombed  hair. books  with  writing  in  the  margins.  books  with  cracked  spines.  books  with  lines  scratched  out.  prayers  on  all  souls’  day.  a  chipped  ceramic  bathtub. a  cold  stone  floor.  THE UNCOMFORTABLE AWARENESS OF YOUR OWN HEARTBEAT.  the  sparrow  that  got  in  your  house. shadows.  the  creek  you  played  in  as  a  child.  a  dirty  night  gown.  an  oversized  t - shirt.  a  collection  of  your  favorite  words.  soil  beneath  your  nails. ghost  stories.  the  strangeness  of  your  own  name  in  your  mouth. deep  silence.  exhaustion. a  cliff  with  a  long,  long  drop  down.

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐭𝐡  𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.   wicker  deck  furniture.  new  england  summer.  large  sunglasses  and  a  blonde  bob. a  storm  over  the  ocean.  patio  umbrellas  flapping  in  the  wind.  the  smell  of  chlorine.  muffled  laughter.  sarcasm.  starched  cuffs.  day  drinking.  bay  windows. the  idea  of  love. love  for  the  idea  of  love.  love  for  love’s  sake.  hangovers.  wandering  over  the  sand  dunes.  a  vagabond  with  a  guitar.  fishermen  with  tattoos. a  pretty  boy  with  a  slacked  tie. a  lighthouse. growing  too  close.  boat  shoes. FEELING YOURSELF CHANGE.  big,  floppy  sunhats.  double - speak.  a  song  you  keep  listening  to. turning  red  under  their  gaze.  margaritas  drank  on  an  inflatable  pool  lounger.  string  lights  on  a  balmy  night.  sleepy  june  days. fights  you’re  unprepared  for. hope  you  weren’t  expecting.  pranks  that  go  too  far.  bad  poetry.  pining.  becoming  less  of  a  stranger.

𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐡.  the  space  where  your  grief  used  to  be. a  bird  that’s  lost  an  eye.  old  blood  stains.   heavy  blinds.  the  smell  of  sweat. the  stillness  after  a  battle. a  fake  smile.  a  curse.  the  taste  of  metal  at  the  back  of  your  tongue.  your  house,  unfamiliar  in  the  dark.  a  dusty  crib.  the  smell  of  sulfur.  an  orange  pill  bottle.  streaks  in  the  sink.  a  black  cocktail  dress.  your  hand  on  the  doorknob,  shaking.  a  chilly  breeze.  crunching  from  the  gravel  driveway  on  a  moonless  night.  clenched  hands. a  rusty  swing  set.  a  flashing  digital  clock  stuck  on  12 : 00.  a  snake  that  crosses  your  path. an  owl  that  watches  you.  a  dog  that  runs  when  you  approach.  red  smoke,  dark  clouds.  cool  steel. tile  floors.  footsteps  in  the  hallway  late  at  night.  a  baggy  suit  that  used  to  fit  before.  visions.  insomnia  headaches. nursery  rhymes. BEING TOO FAR IN TO GO BACK NOW.

𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡  𝐚𝐝𝐨  𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭  𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠.   the  high  drama  of  small  towns. a  pickup  truck.  military  supply  duffel  bags  in  the  hall,  hugs  all  around. tulip  bulbs.  a  wraparound  porch.  a  pitcher  of  iced  tea.  a  rubber  halloween  mask. someone  on  your  level. ill - timed  proclamations.  stomach  clenching  laughter.  rushing  in. not  minding  your  business. crepe  paper.  white  lies.  SECRETS WRITTEN DOWN AND THEN THROWN AWAY.  southern  hospitality.  homemade  curtains  in  the  kitchen.  a  sink  full  of  roses. hiding  in  the  bushes.  old  friends.  the  wedding  dress  your  grandma  wore,  and  her  mama  before  her.  a  dog - eared  rhyming  dictionary.  chamomile  with  honey.  the  intimacy  of  big  parties.  lawn  flamingos. gossip.  a  crowded  church. friendly  rivalries.  unfriendly  rivalries.  shit  getting  real.   love  at  five  hundredth  sight.     not  realizing  you’re  home  until  you’re  there.

𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫.   cement  block  buildings.  power  lines  that  birds  never  perch  on.  the  end  of  the  world.  useless  words.  rainless  thunder,  heat  lighting,  a  too  big  sky. arthritic  knuckles.  broken  glass.  chalk  cliffs. the  pulsing  red - black  behind  closed  eyes. something  you  learned  too  late.  wet  mud  that  sucks  up  your  shoes  while  you  walk.  a  cold  stare.  empty  picture  frames.  empty  prayers.  the  obscenity  of  seeing  your  parents  cry.  a  treeless  landscape.  bloody  rags. grappling  in  the  dark  with  reaching  hands.  THE SHARPNESS AT THE TIP OF YOUR TEETH. the  blown  out  windows  of  a  skeletal  house.  decay.  jokes  that  aren’t  jokes.  biting  your  tongue. prophecies.  aching  muscles,  tired  feet.  stinging  rain.  invoking  the  gods.  wondering  if  the  gods  are  listening.  worrying  that  the  gods  are  dead.  white  noise.  shivers.  numbness.  the  unequivocal  feeling  of  ending.

𝐚  𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫  𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭’𝐬  𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦.   the  smell  of  wet  soil  and  dead  leaves.  listening  to  music  on  headphones  with  your  eyes  closed.  wildflowers.  the  distant  sparkle  of  lightning  bugs.  a  pill  someone  slipped  you.  fear  that  turns  into  excitement. EXCITEMENT THAT TURNS INTO FRENZY.  mossy  tree  trunks.  a  pair  of  yellow  eyes  in  the  darkness.  night  swimming.  moonlight  through  the  leaves.  a  bass  beat  in  your  chest.  a  butterfly  landing  on  your  nose.  a  kiss  from  a  stranger.   a  dark  hallow  in  an  old  tree.  glow  in  the  dark  paint.  drinking  on  an  empty  stomach.  a  twig  breaking  behind  you.  spinning  until  you’re  dizzy.  finding  glitter  on  your  body  and  not  remembering  where  it  came  from.  an  overgrown  path  through  the  woods.  cool  dew  on  your  skin.  a  dream  that  fades  with  waking. moths  drawn  to  the  light.  giving  yourself  over,  completely. afterglow. the  long,  loving,  velvety  night.

tagged  by.  @melancholeyes​ tagging.  @rulesfear​ @wildgcd​ @defensator​ @materxnatura​ @deadlcrd​ + you ! tag me ♥