#´ ･ . ✶muse; 𝘥𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘯 ⦅ maruki takuto ⦆

[moonsmultimusings]

what do you feel nostalgic for?

a place you once knew.

maybe it's somewhere you visited once, somewhere you go regularly, or somewhere you lived at one point. regardless, you long desperately to go back and just be. just exist there. is it the landscape you miss? the excitement of a city or the pleasant solitude of a small town? is it the people? do you need to make something right there? whatever it is, you need to go back. your heart is aching. you can't stop picturing yourself walking the streets, taking in your surroundings. did you know you'd feel this way when you were there? how could you have predicted this feeling when you had it all in the moment?

tagged by: @phantomuheist tagging: @musingmemories, @miraiq, @caramelcuniculus, @braveryhearted, and YOU if you'd like to steal it!

[moonsmultimusings]

Luckily, the officer didn't get the impression from Maruki that he'd intended on tailing him! Not that there wasn't obvious enough reason why they'd be waiting here together, but he could understand if someone in the force had some paranoia about them. Together, they made their way to a bar closer to home. Nothing like the half-basement bars in Shinjuku, of course! Not only was the red light district not Maruki's scene, but he'd feel odd walking an officer around there. No, the bar they found their way to was a bit more high class. Not a rooftop experience -- as that required a higher paycheck or a special occasional -- but rather a fine establishment tucked away off of the main street in Shibuya.

Once they'd taken their seats at the bar, he could heave a sigh of relief. “Honestly, I'm a bit nervous. I haven't gone out drinking since college,” he remarked, skimming over the selection of drinks. Not that he was a particularly heavy drinker back then either, as Shibusawa could attest. “But that kind of hesitation isn't helpful. You can't expect change in your recency bias without stepping out of your comfort zone a little, right?”

He ordered a glass of white wine for himself. Maybe it had more to do with him growing up and his tastes changing since college, but a glass of beer didn't sound too appealing to him now. He offered his thanks to the bartender for the drink, swirling it around in its glass a bit once he'd received it. “Again I appreciate you agreeing to come out with me, Hasegawa-san… I know it's probably a bit odd to be invited out by a guy you don't know! I guess I was intrigued by what you brought up earlier, and I wanted to learn more about it from the source.” While he may not have been a counselor any longer, it didn't change the interest he found in chatting with others.

"Seriously? Well, that's convenient."

A coincidence to be sure, but not a completely unbelievable one. There's only so many trains arriving soon that they could both be waiting for, after all.

"Nah, it's fine. I don't have much else to be doing right now, anyway." So talking with Maruki might actually be a pleasant change of pace. There's a chance it won't be, of course, and part of Zenkichi is distinctly aware that this might not have been his smartest idea, but... it's been a long time since he's taken a risk like this, or done anything that hasn't been focused on work.

He wonders exactly what it was that prompted Maruki to make his offer, anyway. Is he really that interesting a person to talk to? Or was it the topic of the Phantom Thieves that got his attention? Zenkichi should probably careful with that in mind, but it doesn't put him off or anything.

"I guess it looks like my afternoon just got a lot more interesting!"

[moonsmultimusings]

Starter Call - @phantomuheist ☾

Truthfully, Maruki hadn't heard that Akira would be returning to Tokyo. Not that there was any obligation to keep him in the loop, of course. But he had to assume it was this lack of communication, paired with a twinge of fate, that brought them together today. A routine stop at the train station with his taxi happened to turn into picking up an old student of his. Funny how that worked out, wasn't it? He popped open the back door, peeking from his spot in the front, only to lock eyes with a familiar face. While he did feel a bit startled, placed on the spot, their reunion wasn't an unwelcome one.

“Kurusu-kun? It's been a while,” he greeted, warm eyes creased into a welcoming smile from behind his glasses. Once the surprise faded away, it was replaced almost as quickly with a burning sense of curiosity. It was a trait of his that had gotten him into trouble before, but he'd never quite learned to fully distrust it yet. Curiosity killed the cat, as they said, but one would have to excuse it in a former man of science.

He had a slew of questions brewing. How was life? How had his return to his hometown gone? How long would he be staying? How was he adjusting? Numerous though they were, he was aware of the social conventions constraining him. He couldn't launch into asking them all at once, and certainly not after their former deal had ended. He would understand hesitance to share much of anything with him, all things considered. He launched first into the formalities. “Where to?”

[moonsmultimusings]

🚦 (I need one for Maruki and Sae or Zenkichi, I'll let you choose :3) - @epitomees

send 🚦 or [traffic] to see how my muse(s) would react to being stuck in traffic with yours! - Accepting ☾

I think that Maruki is a pretty good driver, all things considered, but he does start out being nervous driving in Tokyo. The streets are packed, there are pedestrians everywhere, and people are constantly driving like the world's going to end if they can't get where they're going in 2 minutes flat. So he's got some anxiety around driving in the city that his post game job as a taxi driver will help him get over.

He'll probably play some nice tunes on the radio to help himself stay calm. A bit of background noise to keep things from falling into too much of a lull. For his tracks of choice, I'm thinking some soft jazz. That will also help pass the time spent in traffic.

For a while, he is the world's most careful driver, and this is something that everybody on the road will exploit. He will let anyone in ahead of him, he'll struggle to pass slower cars because people won't let him into other lanes in return. He's just not aggressive enough to get anywhere quickly on crowded streets. He'll get better at it with time, but I think something like that is likely to get under his passenger's skin. Sae might even want to just take the wheel herself!

He'll be a great conversationalist along the way, though. They may be stuck behind an old lady who's been sitting still for 20 minutes now, but at least he'll be able to chat people up. With Sae, he'll be sure to ask her about cases and make sure she's taking care of herself during busy times. He'll probably also want to check on how Makoto's doing, but he won't bother Sae with too many questions about her unless she wants to discuss it. With Zenkichi, he's likely to be a bit more upbeat (matching the tone he's given), but he'll still ask about how Akane is doing and make sure that he's taking breaks as needed to support her. He'll absolutely be the type to remind both of them that, if they want to support someone else, they need to take care of themselves too. Otherwise, they won't have the energy to give.

Overall, he'll be the world's least aggressive driver. Probably a little too permissive at first, even to a fault, but he'll end up settling into things with more time spent driving his taxi on the road. Give him a call if you want someone to vent to on your ride! He will ask you all about yourself, and answer next to nothing about himself. It's an old habit. He's one of the better people to be stuck in traffic next to.

@epitomees

[moonsmultimusings]

5. what is your muse's first ideal date? (To Akira and/or Maruki)

romance & relationship headcanons! - Accepting ☾

interesting choices here!

for Akira, he has a lot of experience going out on dates, so he knows a lot about what he likes and doesn't like. he definitely doesn't want to play into cheesy, stereotypical dates, as he's more likely to find them boring. i think the ideal for him (with a partner he's super interested in) would be a date where he can show off a little! this is the sort he's more likely to invite someone else on. going to a play where he could make some observations with his his theatre knowledge, taking his partner out ice skating to show off his salchows, trying out a hole-in-the-wall restaurant he likes, etc. as a show-off, he tends to walk the line between being smooth and seeming like a try-hard. dates are like a performative dance on that line. if you're trying to ask him out and plan the date, you're probably best off taking him out to do something exciting or fun. a theme park date, go karting, laser tag, an arcade… keep him on his toes and you'll earn his intrigue. just be prepared for him to find ways to show off there, too.

as for Maruki, i think he's got a lot less experience in the dating scene. he's also a lot more of a romantic. he would love to go on a sweet candlelit date. a nice dinner with some introspective conversation would be ideal for him, but he'll definitely also take a nice picnic or some stargazing together. he's mostly looking for quality time. getting to know his partner, listening to them, hearing all of their stories, and probably doing a bit of rambling himself is key. that said, something like a movie theater date isn't ideal for him. curling up on the couch while watching a movie at home is a-okay, though!

[moonsmultimusings]

To watch Shinobu's response to his line of reasoning — not to listen, but merely to watch and witness — was quite interesting, particularly when compared to the finality of her prior statements. Her delivery of this portion lacked the firm resolution the remainder of her earlier replies had. What did he make of them, then? Well, it appeared to him that he may have found his mark, then. The point he needed to expand further upon to reach the root of their issues. No, not quite that. This, he imagined, was not the root, but merely a trail leading back to it.

In some ways, attempting to wander through someone's mind, particularly when that someone was opposed to receiving help, was not unlike the old tale of Hansel and Gretel. Wandering alone in the cold, darkened woods abandoned by all prospects of help, attempting to navigate as the sky grew dark and the light filtering through the trees grew dim. With enough time, however, he would surely find the trail of breadcrumbs to lead him back. Once he stumbled upon the first one, it was usually a fairly obvious path back, and he could then use the knowledge gained from wandering the remainder of the forest to note landmarks, how prior trails had intersected with the right one. If he was one to rely on such simplistic analogies, that was. Perhaps in explaining it, he might fall back on such simple rhetoric, but to contemplate it himself, there was far greater nuance than that.

The trembling of her hands at the mention of her father told him this may be an avenue to pursue further, albeit with an abundance of caution. Had a bit of shaking been the only sign she conveyed, he may have been able to chalk it up to caffeine intake. However, as previously mentioned, her words were no longer as resolute. She resolved, too, to take her leave after this. A normal response to discomfort, and one he didn't fault her for. For as much as she seemed to place importance on eye contact while delivering her words, her lack thereof was telling. 'I'm focused and content with my life.' So she claimed. As much as she liked to argue that a sense of discontentment with life was merely a problem for others, it was clearly one she suffered from as well. Not that this was a terrible shock: the cruelties of the world bore down on all who lived in it.

“I see… Thank you for humoring me, at least.” He wouldn't stop her from taking her leave, replacing the soft frown of concern with a congenial smile in case she dared another glance at him. Perhaps he might lift her spirits a bit before she left. He'd hate for their conversation to ruin her friend's performance for her. “Enjoy the performance, Yamaguchi-san!”

Somewhere, once, there had been a person with essential humanity inside them, but between then and now, all of that had been drained out to make space for other, more important things. That Shinobu was the heir to the Yaguchi Dojo was not how things should have gone, but her failure of a brother had made his bed and forced her to lie in it. That being the case, she'd managed quite well, she thought. Not everyone could have risen to such an occasion. Not everyone could have taken the uncompromising expectations that came from someone as severe as her father and managed to match them, at least most of the time.

Still, what Maruki said made a certain kind of sense, though Shinobu wasn't sure if that was because she believed him, or he was simply good enough at rhetoric to say things that sounded pleasant and believable when not under strict scrutiny. "I know what I'm supposed to do, when it comes to my family, and my dojo. I'm supposed to excel. My only goal is to improve my skills, until I'm good enough to compete at the highest levels." Not just compete - dominate. They needed to win, and not by slim margins.

"That's what my father wants for me. He wants his child to succeed. That's normal, for a parent, and unlike other situations that I contend with." Her words were stilted, lacking in the firmness of her other statements. Her hands, folded one over the other on the tabletop, began a gentle trembling and the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. Really, she shouldn't say anything about him at all. It would be inconvenient for everyone if Maruki started prying, given how busy her father was and how his work outside of the dojo wasn't to be interrupted.

Realizing that her coffee had been finished, Shinobu pondered pressing the button to signal a waitress for a refill, then dismissed the idea. They'd had enough already. There was no reason to risk feeling restless and unsettled at Anzu's performance. "I believe that I'm filling the purpose that my dojo needs of me, sensei. Anything not necessary can be discarded, so long as I fill that purpose." Shinobu moved to pick up her bag and stand from the booth. "It seems to me that many people feel a kind of ennui due to not knowing their purpose. I'm focused, and content, with my life," she lied, turning so as not to hold eye contact. "So I shouldn't see why emptiness is so reviled." It wasn't for everyone, perhaps. "But, I appreciate the conversation, and the coffee, sensei. I'll see you at school."

[moonsmultimusings]

"Why does everything I do have to make sense? Why can't I just do what I want every once in a while?" ( to the Marukster aka Maruki from Goro )

Sad Sentences - Accepting ☾

Goro Akechi was… certainly one of the more interesting figures Maruki had to contend with. This wasn't to say that he was undeserving of pity. Quite the opposite. After the upbringing he had experienced, he was all the more deserving of it. He needed a world that would treat him kinder than the one they'd lived in, and this was what he had hoped to provide. A second chance. An opportunity to start anew, for him to grow past his faults. Surely if shown enough kindness and nurturing, he would find it in himself to understand. He no longer had to live his life guarded, paranoid, or seeking revenge. Now he could devote himself to loftier goals, to become the person he could have. The hero he'd desired to be.

Like Akira, however, Goro didn't seem contented with the changes. Perhaps he'd need some time to adjust to them. To feel reservations over such large alterations was only natural. One couldn't be expected to lower their guards over night after keepign them up for so long? He would be understanding of that, and more than willing to explain his points, if the pair were willing to listen.

“Akechi-kun… It's a part of being human,” he answered, his tone gentle. “Logic is an indelible part of humanity. Even doing what you want, your actions will always be driven by something. A base need, or an emotional want, a psychological habit… There's nothing you can think to do that won't make sense.” Anything that would occur to him would follow some line of logic. It would have to make sense to him through one avenue or another, or the action wouldn't arise as a possibility in his mind. “It's my goal to understand you. To know what drives you to make these decisions, and to give you whatever it is you're lacking that's pushing you to that sort of desperation. What is it that you want to do? Let me arrange it for you.”

[moonsmultimusings]

Starter Call - @gentlemanthiief ☾

The first session with Akira had gone quite well. Admittedly, there had been a bit of concern on Maruki's part that the teen would've tried to avoid his office for as long as possible. Citing their deal, however, it was later that day that he'd come by for the first time to chat.

All attempts were made on his own part to be transparent about sort of information had been shared with him thus far, how the school had explained the circumstances surrounding Kurusu's start at Shujin. In speaking to the supposed delinquent himself, though, he got a much clearer image. Rather than the criminal he was painted to be, Akira Kurusu was a strong person, and someone who had done a miraculous job in terms of aligning his inner self with his circumstances. Someone who didn't need to rely on denial in order to cope with his sudden transfer.

They'd made a second deal by the end. Akira would help him with his research, and in return, Maruki could offer him mental training. A way to hone his mental acuity. He hadn't yet explained much about the paper he was working on, nor the questions he would be asking. He figured something like that could wait.

It was another couple of weeks before he saw Kurusu return to his office after school. He was quick to stand up from his desk, from his work, to greet him. "Ah, Kurusu-kun! Welcome back. Do you have time to help me with my research today?"

[moonsmultimusings]

Starter Call - @epitomees (Sae) ☾

While Maruki made an effort of not stopping by Leblanc often, as he wanted to avoid making a habit out of invading a student's space, there were times when a cup of Sakura's coffee sounded too good to resist, and the diner in Shibuya was just a bit too crowded for him to enjoy the atmosphere. Thus, he'd made the extra trip to Yongen-Jaya today. It was a cool evening on a weekend so he figured if there was any time to come, it would be now. Hopefully Kurusu wouldn't mind.

After the first encounter he'd had at Leblanc in September, he was a bit worried he'd never be allowed back. It seemed like the owner had only given him a bit of a cold shoulder for his adoptive daughter's sake, however. He didn't blame the man for attempting to keep his family safe, of course. It was admirable, his efforts to do so, and he'd found that she had an interest in cognitive psience as well, tied to her mother.

The warm air of the cafe was a welcome respite from the cold, as the sun had just set. The bell over the door jingled, and the scent of coffee beans filled his nose. It was a comforting smell, and he could easily see such a warm scent being heavily associated with home. Leblanc never seemed to be terribly busy, and he was relieved to find himself the only customer as he took a seat at the bar. Not because he wished poor business upon the place, of course! Quite the opposite. But there was a more personal feel to his shop than others, and such a connection would be easily lost if the customer base became too large. At a certain level, he assumed Sakura was aware of this.

He made some affable small talk with the owner of the cafe as he sipped on his coffee, another book on cognitive psience resting before him. He intended to get some reading done with his drink, but in the meantime, he was distracted by the conversation. It was because he was so invested in their dialogue that he was able to spot the sudden shift in expression on Sakura's face as the bell over the door rang again. Whoever had just arrived didn't seem terribly welcome. Was it a similar situation to himself? He could only guess, peeking from the corner of his eye to see who it may have been.

[moonsmultimusings]

what is holding you back?

the inability to accept change and the decisions that come along with it.

you want things to be clear-cut, but that's not the way it works. you tell yourself it's alright when you mess up time and time again, but inside, you're devastated. you can't make a decision, no matter how many times you tell yourself to. it should be easy, but it's not. you're paralyzed. you're never ready. it feels like everybody is pushing you into a life you're not prepared for. but, truthfully, the stress you feel is likely emanating from yourself. you're expecting yourself to come to a conclusion and you can't, so you're in pain. you don't want doors to shut, so you're pulling yourself too thin. it's not hopeless, however. it never is. if you let some things go, you'd have more room. i know you don't want to. but it might not be as suffocating. wouldn't it be nice to finally get a chance to breathe?

[moonsmultimusings]

It's a fairly common strategy in Maruki's playbook. When someone catches his interest, he has no choice but to investigate. It's the sort of inquisitive spirit that led him to research in the first place. As a person, he's habitually curious, and what better way to learn more about someone that catches his interest than speaking with them more? It worked with the Phantom Thieves, anyway.

He's so used to this approach of his that he doesn't stop to think about how it may sound until he registers Zenkichi's reaction. It may have come off forward in a direction he hadn't even considered. Probably a consequence of being out of the dating realm for so long now. In a literal sense, he was asking the man out, but more as a matter of scientific curiosity as opposed to some sort of attraction (that, at this point, couldn't be anything more than surface level anyway, considering how long they'd been talking).

Just in case, he's quick to add, “No pressure, of course!” with a sheepish smile. He doesn't want to retract the statement, even with the further consideration in mind.

Thankfully, he can watch the man's expression settle as he accepts the offer. Not that he really believes he's in any danger of intimidating an officer. “Really? Wonderful!” They have a lot to discuss, and with enough deft maneuvering on his part, he can surely satisfy his curiosity in one evening.

Zenkichi mentions the next train as his own, and while Maruki is acutely aware that his is the same, he checks the destination again nonetheless. “What a coincidence. The next train's mine too. Don't let me stop you from stopping back at home first if you'd like to change, though.”

"Huh? I mean, uh..."

Maruki's sudden and surprisingly bold request takes Zenkichi entirely by surprise. He's left floundering, uncertain of how to respond and very much aware of the time passing by as he tries to think of an answer - way to put a man on the spot!

But it's - surprisingly, a tempting offer. He had approached Maruki because he was interested in him, and while part of him thinks it's way too much to suddenly go out drinking with someone he just met... Maruki's offer comes across as surprisingly sincere. Most of all, though, Zenkichi remembers what he'd said about about working at Shujin back when the Phantom Thieves were still in action. It's possible he's even met them without knowing it - and wouldn't that be something?

Akane has been pestering him to go and meet more people outside of his colleagues at work, too...

"Aww, what the hell. I'm up for it." he relents, before smiling at Maruki to show that it genuinely is no trouble at all. "As long as you're not too busy. This next train's mine, but if you wanted to meet up later, well - just name a place, yeah?"

Unless, of course, Maruki's destination is the same as Zenkichi's anyway. Which is a distinct possibility, but Zenkichi knows it's better not to jump to conclusions.

[moonsmultimusings]

It was human nature to fear what was new and unfamiliar, and it was a defense mechanism to turn this fear into combativeness. Opposing the Phantom Thieves at first would be natural for most people, especially those surrounded by others who would present the matter as an in-group opposing an out-group who threatened everyone's safety. That being said, there was a number of ways in which people found acceptance of those around them, and one of the quickest was through increased familiarity. If someone more familiar expressed an admiration for them, this was enough for some to lower their guards, at least in part. Hence, his question: how had the officer's daughter played a role? The answer was about what he'd predicted.

But there was more to it than just that. It was evident from the way Zenkichi spoke about them that his feelings towards the group wasn't just a begrudging sort of respect, nor clouded by any sort of internal struggle to admit this. No, what he conveyed was a wholehearted admiration for them, despite what his words may have suggested.

“That's quite a sentiment!” he answered first. It reminded him a bit of himself. There certainly was too much cruelty and injustice in the world, and he could understand the desire to fix it. He still believed that people shouldn't have to suffer under it, but it no longer fell to him to fix it himself. There were some unfortunate realities that had to be faced, and others that could be fought against. Deciding which was which was key, as opposed to attempting to escape both. “It takes quite a bit of self-reflection and maturity to acknowledge your limitations, especially in a field you entered for the sake of helping others.” It was easy to slip into denial about the effectiveness of one's work when there was so much on the line, but doing so would inevitably result in people being overlooked. Such overestimations harmed much more than helped.

To avoid slipping into thought, he hopped up to his feet, smoothing his uniform. Why try to analyze this theoretically when he could simply ask? “I hope this isn't too forward, but… Would you like to continue this conversation over a drink?”

"Well... I can't deny she may have had some influence."

Honestly, back then, Zenkichi hadn't known how to feel about the Phantom Thieves. Despite being an officer, he was sick of it - the powerlessness he experienced every day on the force, the corruption barely hidden beneath the surface... he'd believed that following his boss was the only way to stand even a chance at doing anything good, but deep down, he didn't know if that belief held true.

So when the Thieves first appeared, he had originally dismissed them out of hand. Akane had been a fan from the very start, and as they continued to rise in popularity... to be honest, he'd grown jealous. Both of the change they were able to make that he couldn't, and for the way they had managed to capture his daughter's heart.

But even back then, he'd been able to admit that what they were doing was good. He respected them, on some level, even before meeting them for the first time. Finding out they were a bunch of kids was a shock - but then, of course, he'd made that "deal" with them, and from there...

Well. That's when everything really changed for him. In every sense of the word.

"But honestly, even as an officer of the law - there's a lot we can't do for a lot of people out there. And I can't deny that there's a lot of injustice in the world... including in the force itself." As he speaks, Zenkichi's aware that he's not expressing the full extent of his admiration to Maruki - holding back a bit so as not to reveal too much. But he'll say what he can.

"I can't speak for those thieves' methods, but you can't deny they've helped save a lot of people. So at the very least, I have to respect that." And though that's all he says, from the look in Zenkichi's eyes, it's clear that the respect he holds is much deeper than he's letting on.

[moonsmultimusings]

Considering he's speaking with an officer who admitted to knowing people interested in solving the Phantom Thieves case, Maruki isn't certain how much he should share. The last thing he'd want to do would be to get the group in trouble, especially after they'd put an end to their work and left it behind them. Truly, he didn't believe they should face any consequences for what they'd done. One should blame first the circumstances that made them feel as though stealing hearts was the only option.

“Is that right?” he asks, letting out a chuckle. The officer has a daughter who's a fan of the Phantom Thieves… It was easy to recall just how much the younger generation clamored over the group. Shujin was certainly bustling about it, but walking on the streets, he'd heard kids teasing each other with it now and then, too. 'If you steal my cookies again, I'll tell the Phantom Thieves to steal your heart!' and empty threats like that.

What caught his attention far more is that Zenkichi admits to being a fan of them as well. “I never thought I'd hear an officer of the law admit to being a fan of theirs!” The manhunt was still fresh enough in his mind. He'd kept up with it as it happened, even after he'd left Shujin. “But it's a relief to know that they've got support. I don't believe they're bad people.” He's careful to speak in hypotheticals, as if he wouldn't know himself.

“Do you think your daughter's support softened you up to them?” He can't help but ask out of curiosity. Surely it would've taken something major to shift the perspective of an officer in their favor.

"Ahh, yeah. Fair enough. I'm definitely interested, though."

Zenkichi doesn't want to push Maruki to share, especially since, like he said - they're just two strangers standing on a subway platform together... but he has to admit, he's really curious. After all, that's a fascinating little tidbit of information he's been given - both the fact that Maruki was a fan from the very start, and that he worked in Shujin. If that's the case, maybe he's even met them?

He wonders if he knows their identities, even, or if they've met without ever knowing it. Either way, he can't help but feel proud of those thieves for changing the lives of so many people, and... as circumstances would have it; stealing so many hearts.

"You could call me something of a fan myself." he admits with a smile. "Actually, my daughter is too. She's obsessed with them, really. And she's been into them ever since they first showed up - you should see her room!"

[moonsmultimusings]

If it was only a matter of wanting to figure the group out, Maruki was certain that they'd be safe. To determine how the group was carrying out their 'crimes' would take knowledge of an area of science officers wouldn't know to examine. Unfortunately -- or, perhaps, fortunately for the group -- there was no way to make headway without some more theoretical thinking. In that sense, he knew that he was part of a particularly small in-group who had any idea about how the group operated.

It was probably best to avoid sharing much about that, though. He wanted to give the group the opportunity to move on from their time as phantom thieves, not direct officers on how to better pursue them. Besides, he didn't study cognitive psience anymore. He may have once been an authority to consult on it, but no longer.

That being said, he felt it was safe enough for him to be honest about his general thoughts regarding the group. Especially considering the smile the officer wore while asking about his opinion. “I may have been one of their first! I started working at Shujin shortly after the group targeted Kamoshida-san.” To an officer who was familiar with the case, he was certain they'd already worked out the importance to Shujin as a starting location. It would be hard not to consider himself a fan of them, even from the start. They were a link between the theoretical benefit of cognitive psience and its application, something he could point to as proof that the field wasn't just baseless pseudoscience.

“But that's a bit of a long story to share on a subway platform like this, isn't it?” He was still aware of where they were and what he was saying with so many people around, even if most of them were continuing on about their days, completely unaware. “I won't bore you with the details.”

"Oh... yeah. No, you're right." Awkwardly, Zenkichi quickly agrees with Maruki, realizing that he can't get out of this one now. Still, he soon finds himself smiling - both because there's nothing inherently suspicious about mentioning the Thieves, so it doesn't have to be that big a deal - and because honestly, it's nice to find someone to talk about them with.

"Well, technically there's no ongoing investigation, so to speak. But that doesn't mean that everyone doesn't want to be first to figure them out!"

The Phantom Thieves are often the topic of discussion with his coworkers in their downtime, even if the hype about them is dying down a little now. There's still plenty to talk about - how do they do it, do you think they'll strike again - and he's sure most of the officers have dreamed of being the one to finally discover their methods. Of course, he's pretty confident that that's something no-one will ever figure out...

"You a fan, then?" he suggests lightheartedly, his tone both friendly and genuinely curious. What's most interesting when someone brings up the Thieves, to Zenkichi, is always to hear what they think of them.

[moonsmultimusings]

To draw such assumptions about such a person was merely in Maruki's nature. For someone in such a logic-dominated field such as research, he did have a tendency to allow his heart to guide his logic. The two didn't always have to operate in opposition, despite the false dichotomy some preferred to draw as a line in the sand between them. In his heart, he did believe in the inherent good of people. Therefore, his logic must substantiate it. There must be some way to explain those who didn't follow this rule, be it through cognitive psience or through more traditional means.

For as stubborn as she was to stick to her preconceived notions about herself, so to was he to this belief. Too much rigidity served no one in his line of work, but one had to retain a baseline, and this was his own. There was nothing wrong with fantasizing a bit, with altering one's own perception of reality in pursuit of happiness. If one was happier living in a fantasy, if it got them through their days? There was no reason to forcibly drag them from it, back to the cruelty of reality. Without the ability to pursue true great change to soften reality, the most one could do was to strive for some piece of happiness within.

As Shinobu herself stated, she didn't have problems with expectations being placed on her, but rather, being ascribed traits she didn't believe herself to have. She had a strong sense of identity, and didn't take well to people placing labels onto her. He nodded gently. That was a form of expectation, though, he would argue. In this case, they were socially prescribed by her peers as opposed to by someone of authority, and this appeared to be where she found the division.

For someone with such a strong sense of self, and such confidence in what she wasn't, what, then, did that make her? This line of questioning seemed to lead nowhere. She was empty. Nothing. How plain that answer was. “You're empty…” he repeated thoughtfully, mulling over which part of this answer to latch onto first. It was far from the satisfactory end her tone implied she believed it to be. No human being was empty, devoid of any substance. It simply wasn't in the nature of humanity to be that way. This was certainly a topic for another time, when they had the means to dig into the breadth of the topic. For now, he'd skim the surface of his thoughts and point out the most obvious. “You just said that that you take issue with people assigning to you traits you don't have, and yet just before that, you said your familial expectations help you improve as a person. Yet you're entirely empty? Does that make sense to you?” Perhaps repeating it back to them would help them understand where he was coming from. Even still, he figured he ought to expand a bit on the point.

“I can't imagine your family's dojo being passed down to someone who possesses no traits at all, no hope or promise. If you believe your family's pressure is helping you to hone something in yourself, then the perspectives of others who care about you may have the same effect if you allow them to.” But then, of course, there was the alternative. An assertion that neither worked to help her, that both were a hindrance upon her. That the inheritance of the dojo and the constant pressure to succeed were a weight that kept her from developing herself further. And as much as he may believe this to be the more likely of the options, he wasn't aiming to place the words in her mouth if she wasn't going to speak them herself. “Or... If you want them to, I suppose. I think it's worth examining, why you're content considering yourself to be empty. You owe yourself a more substantive identity than that.” Not for anyone else's sake, but their own.

It seemed to Shinobu that Maruki didn't fully understand her, a frown growing on her lips. Perhaps that was her own fault, for failing to accurately convey the truth about herself and her life. Perhaps it was his fault, falling into the same traps that so many others fell into, by assuming there was more to her than there was. Perhaps they shared the blame equally. In any case, it was a rotten feeling, the sort of thing that made them want to leave sooner rather than later. Still, to abruptly get up would only make them seem rattled, or confirm what he might have thought about them.

Put simply, it wasn't possible for Shinobu Yaguchi to be a normal person anymore. If things had gone differently, she'd be living a different life - a Kosei High School student in the science track, on the path to studying marine biology, maybe, or brushing up on her literature in hopes of becoming a novelist. It may have been the case that she could have found a girlfriend. Their mother would still be around, and their father wouldn't have become a different person. But, thinking of those what-ifs was as fantastical to Shinobu as imagining a world without violence, or a world where it was one's birthday everyday.

The things that had been done to them, that had made them like this, could not be undone. The cruel, violent, loathsome husk of a human being, appearing on the surface to be ordinary only to have nothing inside, was who Shinobu was, now. Yet, it wasn't all bad. There were things that only a cruel, violent, loathsome husk could do. "It isn't expectation that I have a problem with," she corrected, speaking with careful deliberation. "I am expected to be the heir to the Yaguchi Dojo. I am expected to inherit my family's work. I'm expected to succeed in my competitions. These expectations might seem, to others, as inflexible or demanding, but they make me better." It was her lot in life, now, to be the vessel for the Dojo's ambitions. Everything else could burn away to make room for that. There was already talk of her Olympic prospects. Japan had never won a gold medal in archery, but by the time the sun set upon her career, Shinobu knew that would have changed.

They sat back in their booth, having leaned forward without realizing it. "What I take issue with is being assigned virtues that I don't possess." Everyone was selfish. Everyone cared for their own life, and the lives of their loved ones, over others. However, there was still a scale to these things, and there were people far more deserving than her to receive praise or adoration. "It's troublesome, to be misunderstood as a secretly-warm person, and it's troublesome when when that misunderstanding is then turned around upon me, as though it's my problem that others only saw what they wished to. Barring exceptional circumstances," such as attempting to seem well-adjusted, in order to free herself from mandatory therapy sessions - a pretense she'd abandoned quick enough, finding it ill-suited to her, "I'm straightforward about the kind of person I am."

So, then, what did she want others to understand? If there was an imagine of themselves that Shinobu Yaguchi could cultivate in others, what shape would it take? "I'm empty." She knew what had drained from her those essential human qualities, though Shinobu couldn't explain why she had lost her humanity, while others in similar positions did not. "That's what people should see. I'm not a cold-hearted prince to be thawed. I'm not a sexual sadist playing a role. I'm not any kind of normal person. I'm entirely empty." And there was no helping it. Not through therapy, or any other method.

[moonsmultimusings]

'I imagine that sitting upon my thoughts would only lead to them becoming more muddied by the time we next speak, sensei.' Shinobu didn't seem to quite realize what it was she was saying. Or, perhaps, she didn't quite realize what his job was. Such introspection was important to progress sometimes, particularly for deeply held beliefs to have any chance of changing.

In any case, she didn't quite grasp the point of his statement. It was a subtle nuance, but it altered the meaning nonetheless. Her thinking was, first and foremost, on herself and her own view of her being. That he meant she ought to extend herself such a leniency. This wasn't quite it. However, he didn't make an effort to interrupt them to correct this minor note, and instead followed along with her thought process.

She viewed the different perspectives of others not as opportunity, but as expectation. Narrow, constricting, and something she struggled to fit. In much the same way as her arms crossed in front of her tightly, a defensive gesture that pulled itself tighter as she spoke. As if she curled in on herself as she analyzed it all, struggling to face it and choosing instead to refrain. This was where her social aggression was rooted, then.

He figured it best to try and pull her from that ball she'd curled into, even if it would be a slow endeavor. There were times when a shift in conversation was best, and he figured this was one such time. They could, if time allowed, circle back once they were more comfortable. “I see…” He folded his hands on the table calmly. “Everyone is wrong about you then,” he agreed gently with their premise. Not because he believed it himself, but for their sake.

“I'm sure it's difficult, to have expectations pulling you so many different ways when reality is as different as it is. What is it you wish for them to see about you, Yaguchi-san?” If everyone was only seeing half the picture and interpreting it as they pleased, as she claimed, then he would provide her the opportunity to substantiate the other half. Paint it herself. If she had her reservations about sharing such a thing with him, he would understand, but it did appear that they were on a roll again in terms of her willingness to share, and he hoped this may be helpful for both of them. For her to cement the truth she believed, and for him to gain a better understanding of how he may be able to assist her.

The doctor's laugh didn't put Shinobu at ease. Quite the opposite, she tensed as he seemed to find amusement in her assessment, and although it had been a flippant thing to say, neither did it deserve being dismissed outright. Perhaps they should have been clearer. "I should be going eventually, yes," Shinobu agreed, even while making no moves to get out of her seat. "But I don't need ample time to consider the words you've spoken, and I imagine that sitting upon my thoughts would only lead to them becoming more muddied by the time we next speak, sensei."

Shinobu had moved their legs as well, sitting cross-legged in the booth, not entirely comfortable but unmotivated to change that for the moment. "That analogy falls apart upon close inspection, in my opinion. My perspective is that a first impression means little, and that those who desire one deserve a second chance and a closer look, but I'm no altruist. I don't surround myself with people whose company I despise." Her sharp tongue made sure of that, cutting people off swiftly and without any hesitation with her words. "But when talking about one's impression of themselves, first impressions don't factor into it."

After all, when one woke up in the same skin each day, occupying a position and living a consistent life, it was reasonable to suggest that one had an understanding of the self. Furthermore, Shinobu would argue that their understanding of themselves was particularly thorough, given the amount of self-examination that came with a transgender identity. "It's good practice to not judge a person by a first impression; if one refuses to judge even after a fiftieth, that's foolishness, not compassion."

But there was more to it than just that, and Shinobu frowned. "Ultimately, everyone has the same problem, sensei. When it comes to me, the reality is so unflattering and unpleasant that everyone chooses to see what they like." Mmm, that was it, wasn't it? Even those kinder people who Shinobu had some fondness for were the same. "Miss Kashima, Miss Taniguchi, and the rest see me as some handsome, brooding prince, some archetypal monster to be tamed through affection, or a skin-deep sadist to aid in living out masochist fantasies."

As they spoke, Shinobu's arms crossed over their chest, their body language tighter and tighter with every sentence. "Anzu sees me as her childhood friend, still naive and gentle, unburdened by anything at all. Miss Ji-yeon sees me as a different kind of love interest - as someone who could support her even when society opposes so much of who she is." Those were both preferable to the princely label, but neither truly cut to the core of who Shinobu Yaguchi was. "Whether wholly imaginary, or something that once existed but no longer does, anyone who desires my company is mistaken as to my character, and willfully blinds themselves in order to make me a more palatable person."

She knew this about herself, without reservation or doubt. People saw what they wanted to see, and once they had entrenched themselves, being near her was a kind of sunk cost fallacy. "For my achievements, I'm admirable and worthy of respect. For my personality qualities, I'm rather loathsome and cruel, lacking any redeemable aspects. I have enough impressions of myself to understand that, and that's why it's no hypocrisy to separate out my understanding of self from a simple, uncomplicated philosophy of social interaction."