#« 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 › featuring zayn malik »

[codvchristian]

📱𝗶𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 » zap ⚡

cody: can we talk about what's happened in the past 24 hours? cody: give me the rundown, homie. cody: because right now this entire thing is like trying to spell with alphabet soup. cody: aka i'm confused as all hell.

[selenvgomez]

after a hot yoga class and a full spa treatment, i finally feel human again after the trip here and going straight down the red carpet. one would think after this many years in the industry i'd be used to cross-continental flights, but i'm just not made for them. how was your journey to cannes? i saw pics of you from last night, looking dapper. too bad we didn't cross paths. i would've loved to say hi, it's been a while. / @zeemaliks

[stokeschasee]

hichasestokes: damn. oh well... one can dream.

zaynmalik: out of the question, mate.

[codvchristian]

📱𝗶𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 » zap ⚡

cody: how's your cannes so far? i'm guessing either a) you're getting your dick wet or b) fighting the angry mob that wants your head. cody: which one is it? cody: i'm about to hit the bar for a stiff morning drink and you're encouraged to join me. cody: because while i'm not opposed to being someone's boytoy, a heads up she's dating another dude would've been nice, instead of finding out through socials.

[codvchristian]

📱𝗶𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 » zap ⚡

cody: didn't we all know he's a tool though? cody: sorry bro, but you were best bros with him for years. are you really surprised he'd pull something like this? cody: dude's got no limits, no respect. cody: yeah. haven't let fists fly in a little too long. cody: getting a bit restless over here.

zayn: he's a fucking tool. zayn: dude, it's the fact that he tried to convince me that he wouldn't zayn: and i told him that shit would go down if he messed with that particular squad. call me a fuckin' prophet 'cause i saw the future zayn: punch in? aight aight i see what you mean

[codvchristian]

📱𝗶𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 » zap ⚡

cody: that's the lamest excuse ever. cause we all know it isn't true. cody: isn't anything with open legs and a pulse his type? cody: didn't say you needed backup dancers, bro. cody: i'd just love to get a punch in, is all. cody: beers and plotting it is.

zayn: it was fun and chill until he decided to go after gigi zayn: the dipshit even told me he wouldn't. she wasn't his type zayn: he should've known better but he's dumb as fuck zayn: yo, do i look like i need backup dancers? zayn: i'm always down for a beers and plotting

[codvchristian]

📱𝗶𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 » zap ⚡

cody: wait, wtf? cody: ffs. that dude needs to learn to keep his dick in his pants. cody: you don't dick around? that's the understatement of the century. cody: need a wingman for the inevitable brawl all this will result in?

zayn: mate, i'm buzzin. zayn: found out that elordi took gigi to cannes zayn: we all know the ain't doing because he's such a fuckin legit friend. nah, he wanted to get his dick wet zayn: never informed me, so i told him he had xx minutes to uninvite gigi or i'll spill his biz zayn: don't know if he did, but i ended up texting mendes, tellin him that elordi's fucking kendall, while catching feelings for hill. zayn: u know me, i don't dick around.

[selenvgomez]

you're going to join me for a hot yoga class? i'd love to see that. how's your flexibility? basically it's just yoga in a hot and humid room, and it's supposed to help you burn more calories and calm your mind. dora the explorer? i'd rather be indiana jones, since it means i get to wear a cute hat instead of dora's pink t-shirt... although i doubt i could compete with harrison ford. but no, my body does not thrive on long flights, but i do it anyways. the life of a performer, am i right? i'm at the hotel. i finally managed to flip my sleeping schedule to gmt plus something time, so i was considering going on a walk, but a drink doesn't sound half bad either.

i basically stopped listening after you said something about hot yoga. you need to explain what that means so i can join you, or at least pretend to take the class. is that right? here i thought you were a legit dora the explorer seeing as you're always out of town. thanks, love. are you at the hotel or? pretty sure there's still time to catch a drink or two. i mean, if you're game.

[codvchristian]

📱𝗶𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 » zap ⚡

cody: which storm is it this time? do you have some more crazy up your sleeve? cody: yes, and leave a perfectly good morning fuck. cody: good. we're having tequila with a side of tequila. cody: yeah, ariana and eyebrows. clearly he's not packed, if she's inviting me to her place while dating him. cody: she is tiny, but that just means i can throw her a around, and that's definitely not a bad thing.

zayn: a bit of both i'd say. just getting to know dua and enjoying the calm before the storm. zayn: and leave a perfectly good morning fuck? zayn: okay. zayn: socials? you mean ariana and eyebrows? gotta admit, it seems kinda fucked up zayn: but who am i to judge. with great sex comes great responsibility, and maybe he's packed for all i know. zayn: then again, all guys might feel big when entering ariana. she tiny.

[stokeschasee]

hichasestokes: don't do me like that, man. let me live in the fantasy.

zaynmalik: when hell freezes over!