#|| pellegrina

[stressghoul]

the URGE i would have to steal the shoulder cape put it on and flap my arms like the gremlin I am-

[bernard-the-rabbit]

please do tell me more about clelia. what was her and pellegrina's relationship like? what was she like? what did she die from?

Hihihi!!

Clelia was very very attached to her mom, she felt like fhe was the only person that understood her!! After her mom's death she closed up a lot and began to cling to her eldest brother (who ends up dying as well)

She was already reserved and closed up on herself so you can imagine after. She was soft and warm too tho, prone to understand the outsider and welcome them in. Even tho she didn't have romantic feelings for Nino she had so much affection for him. She didn't want kids also..but considering the time period and the social status a kid was kind of expected.

She meets Pellegrina at a ball! Pellegrina was already married by this point while Clelia was in contact with Nino and marriage rumors were kind of circulating in her home. Love at first sight baby, Clelia is like..warm and soft and understanding and also very pretty while Pellegrina is charming and stable, something Clelia needs. Their relationship is so close since the beginning and they try to meet at each event, Pellegrina even names her daughter after her. They also keep a epistolary relationship after Pellegrina returns to France after the death of her husband.

Clelia however dies in 1897 due birth complications followed one week later by her son. Pellegrina doesn't see her one last time since, between comunication being what it was, travelling time and no one informing her for a while, she didn't arrive in time

[communistellewoods]

spent the whole day sewing!

[queerographies]

[Pellegrina e straniera][Marguerite Yourcenar]

Dal mito greco al Rinascimento, "Pellegrina e straniera" di Marguerite Yourcenar offre un viaggio nel tempo che rende antichi divinità e artisti contemporanei. Con saggi eterogenei e una vita influente, Yourcenar vede il passato come un oracolo vivente.

Dal mito greco al Rinascimento: un viaggio nel tempo attraverso gli occhi di una curiosa pellegrina Titolo: Pellegrina e stranieraScritto da: Marguerite YourcenarTitolo originale: En pèlerin et en étrangerTradotto da: Elena GiovanelliEdito da: EinaudiAnno: 2024Pagine: 288ISBN: 9788806265496 La sinossi di Pellegrina e straniera di Marguerite Yourcenar Gli dèi e gli eroi della Grecia possono…

[johnnydlux]

[gravehags]

falling so badly (i'm coming apart)

Pairing: Cardinal Copia x f!Reader (Curator!Reader)

Rating: EXPLICIT, MDNI

Tags: making out, love confessions, reader is a virgin, idiots in love, masturbation, copia being a possessive little sex freak, gay trauma, vague mention of suicidal ideation, paintless copia, vulnerability, donuts

Words: 6,189

Summary: Oh, to be wooed by a Satanic cardinal.

a/n: well this was supposed to be one fic and now it's looking like it's getting split up into multiple because these hoes (me) don't know how to shut the fuck up. takes place immediately after the events of satan baby! made myself sad writing about their respective trauma so y'all better fucking like this lmao and you can expect a couple more installments :) i promise they'll eventually fuck nasty (tender)

divider by @gothdaddyissues!

It takes an absurdly long time for the two of you to finally reach your rooms between Copia routinely pausing to push you against the nearest wall with his fingers buried in your hair, lips slotted against yours and you doing the same to him.

His paints are a mess and you know half of them are now on your face but it matters little to either of you. Your right hand carries the bag full of gifts you received that evening while the left is entwined with Copia’s large, leather clad one and the sight makes you grin with pure delight. Finally, you took the step you’ve been dying to for months and your risk has more than paid off. Now here you are, standing outside your door hand in hand with your beloved giving each other a sideways glance. You set down your bag and turn to face him.

“Would you…would you like to come in?”

Your voice is a little shaky and you know exactly why as you watch the Cardinal gnaw on his lower lip and fidget. This has the potential to be a huge night for you, in more ways than one, and the anxiety in your stomach bubbles. He looks as if he is struggling as he lets out a deep sigh and your heart plummets.

“Dolcezza, I…” he squeezes his eyes shut, “I would love nothing more. Truly, you have no…no idea how much I desire…” 

When he reopens his eyes his gaze is hungry and you nearly gasp at the way his eyes slowly drag over the shape of you. “How I…cazzo, bellezza you have no idea how mad you make me.”

“The feeling’s mutual, believe me,” you murmur, tilting your head and watching him curiously. You’re not sure if your ears are playing tricks on you but you swear you hear him groan.

“Eh, y-yes. Well. That being said as much as I would love to…to…stay,” he says the word carefully, deliberately, “first I would like to have the chance to eh…to woo you.”

You almost laugh but suppress it when you see how earnestly he looks at you. Your beloved Cardinal. The man who took care of you when you were drunk, the man you called upon to be by your side as you cried. The man who sat in your office multiple days a week, making stupid jokes and flirting with you. Who haunted your dreams. Who listened to you vent and excitedly explain. You would do anything for him. Anything he wanted, and you suspect he would do the same for you. So you smile.

“I think it’s safe to say you’ve sufficiently wooed me for the past nine months but I’ll never say no to romance. That’s very thoughtful of you, Copia.”

You watch him blush and you know you have a gooey expression on your face.

“Bene. Bene! I just…want to give you everything you deserve. T-to take you out. Spend time…more time with you.”

Everything you deserve. You don’t know if you deserve it but you know what you want. And while it’s clear he’s not going to indulge that particular desire tonight that doesn’t mean you can’t give him a little tease, right? Slowly you lean forward to wrap your arms around him, breathing in the smoky smell of his cologne on his pellegrina. You can hear him inhale deep as his nose trails along your neck and one of his hands tentatively slides along the small of your back. You just hold him for a moment and allow him to relax into your embrace before putting your lips to his ear and murmuring your killing blow.

“I’ve waited this long, I suppose I can stay a virgin a while longer.”

His breath comes so sharp he nearly hiccups as you place a kiss to the tip of his carefully crafted sideburn and pull away. His pupils are blown, mouth hanging open and practically panting. He looks like he wants to say something but all that comes out is a slight whine. 

“Goodnight, Copia,” you murmur, picking your bag up and opening your door. You step through the threshold and turn back to face him.

“Good–” his voice comes out high and pained, “goodnight, cara mia.”

Your eyes flick over him, echoing the way he looked at you earlier, and there is an ache at the juncture of your thighs when you see the not insignificant bulge tenting his cassock. He starts when he realizes what you’ve seen, hands dropping to mask himself but the damage has been done. You shut the door with a quiet snap and you hear a rough “cazzo” being snarled through the wood. Between his kisses and that…you certainly have enough material to take care of yourself tonight. 

And you do just that.

–

He’s practically running to get to the safety of his quarters, praying to Sathanas that no one stumbles upon him in this state. His mind has to stay blank, to steer clear of the bombshell you just casually dropped on him with a kiss and a smile. If he dwells on it too long he’s going to make a mess in his trousers and he does not want to have to explain that to the abbey launderers. 

Again. 

His prayers are answered as he pants in front of his door, having steered clear of anyone who could be wandering the halls. He fumbles with his keys, hands shaking as he manages to open the door and bolt inside. It’s cold in his rooms but all of a sudden he’s too hot, the wool of his cassock restricting as he shucks off his gloves and fumbles for the buttons. He only gets halfway through with them before losing patience and tearing the garment up and over his head and throwing it to the ground. His suspenders are slid off his shoulders with such force one of them comes detached from its button on his waistband and he viciously untucks his shirt. His cock throbs as he growls and undoes the buttons, toeing off his shoes at the same time. 

“Merda,” he hisses, aware of the mess he’s making for himself but he doesn’t care. All he can think about is unzipping his pants and sliding his underwear down before collapsing to his knees. A virgin. She’s a fucking virgin. He knows he won’t last long but he spits into his palm and takes himself in hand all the same, whimpering when his thumb brushes against the swollen head. Your name spills from his lips as he wetly slides his fist up and down, thinking of the way your tongue felt gliding against his when he had you pushed up against the wall. The soft little whimpers you made into his mouth, the way your fingernails scratched at the base of his scalp. Was he the first to ignite such passions in your heart? He groans at the thought, the sound of skin on skin deafening in the dimly lit room.

“W-what a g-gift you’re giving your C-Cardinal,” he grunts, “bellezza mia–ah–my p-perfect girl. So good for me. I will make you–augh–sing.”

His knees protest the position but his hips flex upwards, rutting into his fist. When he cums it’s with a growl, imagining you blushing beneath him with your pretty mouth hanging open in a moan. Each spurt paints his chest, clinging to the abundance of fine brown hairs and dripping down his stomach. His head falls back as he pants in the dark of his sitting room, still gripping his cock. It’s usually at this point the shame begins to wash over him for imagining you so lewdly but…you were all but his now, were you not? His lips curl into a devious smile and he chuckles thinking about how sweetly you kissed him tonight - and let him kiss you. How you tease him so, the little game the two of you have played over the past months. His dolcezza. And no one else’s. He would make sure of that. When his head falls forward again to look down he sucks in a breath at the sight of his cock swelling in his grip. Hard again, and so soon? The power you hold over him is unthinkable and he aches to tell you so. And speaking of ache…his back and knees both throb but all he can think about is the smell of your perfume and the taste of mulled wine on your mouth. His beloved…oh how he longs to worship you, to spread your legs and nestle himself between them to lap at your cunt. The thought drives his fist to move once more, mouth hanging open. He should haul himself up, drag himself to his bedroom and into the shower but all he can think of is you. You come as easily to him as breathing, you always have. He’s panting as he thinks about all the sweet sounds he will eke out of you, of you giving him the honor of having you. And he would not make you regret it - content to ravish you with fingers and tongue and cock until you beg him to stop. As he continues to furiously stroke himself his mind wanders to your first confession when you had told him about your lustful actions. I want them so fucking badly and it’s so easy to think about them and what they could do to me. What I would let them do to me. A whine is wrenched from his throat and his vision starts to go blurry with the knowledge that you were talking about him. That his sick little fantasies and indulgences were all correct. And as he cums for a second time that night, his seed dripping over his fingers and onto the unforgiving hardwood floor, he’s filled with the most satisfying sense of victory.

—

When you wake up the next morning and stretch in bed until your joints pop, it takes a moment to remember the events of the previous night. You think of your lovely time spent with the Papas, the beautiful gifts you received and…oh. A shit-eating grin stretches your mouth and you bury your face into your pillow to let out a scream. Merry fucking Christmas to you. You finally, finally made the step and told Copia how you feel and it’s like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders. And not only did you tell him, he reciprocated the feelings. He likes you. With a sigh you stare up at the dark wooden beams and rub your eyes til you see spots.

And then you remember.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?!” you half-shout into your bedroom, hand flying to your mouth in horror. He told you he wanted to woo you, to be sweet and treat you like you deserve and you…you idiot. Why did you feel the need to divulge one of your deepest secrets to a man you literally just told you cared for? God, that mulled wine did a number on you. What he must think of you…you look to your left and unplug your phone from the charger with every intent of texting him and apologizing for your behavior but before you can your screen lights back up with a notification.

Buongiorno, amore! I hope you slept well! Last night feels like a dream…one I wish to never awaken from.

Your phone vibrates again.

That is, I would like to awaken so that I might see you again.

And again.

It does not make last night any less dreamy, though.

You snort as your gaze goes to the ceiling. Idiot. Your idiot. Clearly you hadn’t been too off-putting, then. Sitting up you scoot backwards and type.

Morning, Copia. Thanks again for being so lovely last night <3

You type out your next thought, then hesitate.

I slept with your necklace on last night to keep you close to me. Is that weird?

Ehh…now that is off-putting. You move your thumb to delete the text and end up hitting the send button instead.

“Shitting fuck!” You fling yourself back down onto the mattress and groan with your eyes scrunched shut. Great. Now not only are you a virgin, you’re a cringe little simp too. Your phone vibrates but it takes another couple of minutes before you get the courage to look at what you’ve wrought. Finally you crack one eye open and glance at your screen.

Dolcezza. My dolcezza…you are too kind to this old man, I don’t deserve you but I adore you.

The candidness of his words makes you melt, curling into the covers to hunch over your phone. I don’t deserve you, what bullshit.

Copia, I am the very least you deserve. And I adore you back. Are you busy today?

The thought of seeing him always brought butterflies to your stomach but now they feel a little more exciting.

Nope! Yesterday was the start of the holiday, remember?

Shit, that’s right. You have the next two weeks off (with pay, Sister Imperator graciously informed you, much to your shock) and this was after you already had some time off to celebrate the holidays with your family. Truly you couldn’t imagine a better gig.

Duh, sorry! If you have a chance today, I’d love to see you. No pressure though!

Were you being too needy? You did just confess your feelings for one another last night. The quickness with which your phone vibrates again makes you jolt.

Amore mio, I am already on my way to your quarters xxx

The goofy, dreamy smile that blooms on your face disappears with alarming speed. Shit! He’s on his way!

You practically fall out of bed after flinging the covers back and immediately shudder at how fucking cold your room is. Quickly, you strip and fumble through your drawers for some fresh clothes. Something casual but not too casual…wait. Hold the fucking bus. You look down at your phone again to check the time.

8:54 AM

Growling, you slam your dresser drawer. If you were meeting Copia at this time pre-events of last night you’d throw on a pair of leggings and a big cropped shirt and call it good. So that’s exactly what you’re going to do right now. He didn’t fall for you perfectly coiffed and styled, he fell for you being a hot mess. You never had to wear a mask in front of him before and you’re not about to start. Not after some of the shit he’s heard come out of your mouth up to and including last night. 

Anyway.

The shirt you pick is soft and well-loved, the gold grucifix he gifted you last night catching the light on your clavicle. Before leaving your room you give yourself a couple of spritzes of perfume and grab your phone. You barely have a minute to yawn in your living room when there’s a soft knock at your door. You count for five giddy seconds before walking over and opening it and you give the man before you a sleepy smile. He’s wearing what you have come to know as his “leisure clothes”, still sporting his paints despite the fact that it’s early and he’s off duty. 

“Buongiorno,” he says softly, hands fidgeting.

“Hey,” you murmur, your smile widening. The two of you stand on the threshold in silence for almost a minute when he lunges at you. The action makes you gasp but any sound from your mouth is muffled when he slots his own over it. You’re content to let him lick into your mouth for a moment, his gloved hands gripping at your waist when you come to a realization and shove him off you.

“Oh gross,” you back away and he looks horrified as if he’s done something terribly wrong, “It’s not you! I forgot to brush my teeth, shit. Sorry, sorry - give me a minute!”

He says something but you don’t hear it as you dash back into your room and take care of business, snorting at the way you’re once again smeared with his lip paint as you scrub. After you finish you take a moment to clean the black marks off your lips before returning to your living room. He still dutifully stands there, hands behind his back.

“Eh–mmph!”

You don’t give him the opportunity to say whatever he wants to say because in two strides you’ve launched yourself into his arms and latched your lips onto his. Gripping the sides of his red velour jacket you pull him towards your couch until his legs bump up against it and with an inelegant shove you push him down onto the cushions. The way he looks up at you, hair tousled and mismatched eyes filled with adoration, makes your heart feel like it’s about to burst. You cup his face in your hands, running your thumbs over his freckled cheekbones.

“Copia…Copia I think I lo–”

A sharp - infuriatingly sharp - knock rings out in the room. You growl, your hands dropping from Copia’s face and your heart sinks at the way his shoulders sag. Another knock rings out and you exhale through your nose.

“Sorry,” you murmur to Copia before making your way to the door and opening it. It’s all you can do to not spit out a terse “what?” at the person standing there. The word is halfway out your mouth when Terzo gives you a goofy grin.

“Buongiorno, bella! You slipped away from us last night and oh, how we missed you. I…”

Terzo trails off and you realize that in that short amount of time Copia has sidled up next to you, a frosty expression on his face as he wraps an arm around your waist. You give him a curious look before looking back to Terzo, whose idiotic grin has somehow gotten even wider.

“Well, well, well now this is a surprise, eh? Congratulazioni to you both…”

Copia’s arm tenses around you as Terzo’s attention returns to you.

“So…how can I help you, Terzo?”

“Ah…right. The book you told me about last night…?”

You remember recommending something to him and hum aloud before breaking free of Copia’s grip and walking over to your bookcase. The tension between the Papa and his Cardinal is palpable and you grab the title and hustle back over to the door.

“Here you go. Uh…thanks for welcoming me to your celebration last night. It was lovely.”

He makes an amused noise.

“And productive too, I see. Well we’ll speak again soon, I’ll leave you lovebirds to it. Be safe and ah, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Ciao bella. Ciao Cardinal.”

You give him a tight smile before shutting the door and turning to your companion.

“Bit possessive for less than twenty-four hours in, no?” you say with a sly smile. Copia turns an impressive shade of red and takes a step back from you.

“I-I…I didn’t mean…I’m sorry.”

You had only meant to tease him but it’s clear you’ve struck a nerve.

“Don’t be,” you say gently, moving towards him to place your hands on his chest, “You know how I like to fuck with you. And honestly…it was hot.”

The journey his face goes on makes you laugh out loud before leaning forward and placing a kiss on his cheek.

“That being said, what was that about?”

He lets out a noise in between a groan and a sigh.

“Eh…it’s a long story.”

“Hmm, well last I checked we’ve got the next two weeks off so by all means,” you gesture to the couch, “enlighten me.”

The two of you nestle into the plump cushions, Copia looking apprehensive. You scoot closer to him and sling your leg into his lap, grabbing his hands and holding them in yours. He looks down at your entwined fingers and he smiles softly before letting out a sigh.

“Terzo and I have always had a…well, I don’t think it’s necessarily accurate to call it a rivalry. He’s always found charming people easy whereas I…have always struggled. It started when I was in my late teens at the abbey in Roma - Terzo was a little older and had already taken his vows. There was this boy. Paolo. He was new at the abbey and I was smitten as soon as I saw him. Blonde hair in ringlets that would catch the light…ah dolcezza. And what a voice he had, always standing out in the choir. I was desperate to spend time around him, would accept any scrap of attention he gave me. This went on for months and months, me trailing behind him like a puppy. One day I worked up the courage to make a move and told myself I would approach him at a party that evening. I put on my nicest outfit, oh you should have seen me, cara. My mustache barely there. I thought I looked so dapper. I walked into the party and spotted his blonde curls over by the couch as he was draped on someone else. My heart…stopped. And when I saw who it was he was kissing…well. I’m sure you can guess, eh?”

“Jesus, Copia,” you breathe, squeezing his hand. “That is…incredibly fucked up.”

He nods. “But the worst part was Terzo knew how I felt about him. He knew and he still did it anyway. I cried myself to sleep every night for a week after that. Terzo had the nerve to approach me and tell me that I was ‘too good for him anyway’. Figlio di puttana…I swung on him. Right there in the cloister for everyone to see. The little bastard rat hitting an Emeritus brother. Secondo eventually pulled me off him but I did my damage. In more ways than one - Paolo had seen the whole thing. Wouldn’t look me in the eye anymore and eventually asked for a transfer to Puglia. I never saw him again.”

He gives you a sad smile.

“Needless to say it wasn’t the first time that would happen. And Terzo would always say ‘you were too good for them, topolino, they don’t deserve you’. Well it would have been fucking nice to learn for myself, huh? When I left the Roma abbey at twenty-one and was sent abroad I was finally able to come into my own. So eh. Now you understand why I acted…the way I acted. Mi dispiace.”

“Don’t apologize,” you say softly, reaching a hand up to stroke his cheek. “I…I get it. We all have our trauma about relationships. I’ll tell you about mine in a minute but I do have to tell you this now…Terzo knew how I felt about you. Saw it almost immediately. Always encouraged me to approach you or spend time with you even when I felt self conscious about it. I can’t speak to his motivations when you were younger but I think he wanted us to get here. I mean, is it selfish and fucked up of me to want to thank him for getting you here?”

Copia nuzzles into your palm before turning his head and placing a kiss there.

“No, tesoro. I don’t think so. And…” he pauses, thoughtful, “perhaps Terzo knew none of those people were meant for me. Ah, that’s silly.” He shakes off the thought and leans over to kiss you on the forehead before looking at you with a cocked head.

“I..I suppose you want to hear my tale then?”

Your hand falls from his face and he nods.

“Only if you wish to share it.”

A deep gut-wreching sigh comes out of you and your hands fall to your lap.

“So, um. Middle school right? I was twelve. Odd…odd kid. Didn’t really have any friends, just a lot of people I hung around. Anyway, this new girl starts at my school in my grade. Hayley. She was the most beautiful thing I’d seen - long blonde hair, tall, big blue eyes. And here’s the thing - she was nice to me. Liked me even! I couldn’t believe my luck and I was infatuated. I didn’t even know I liked girls until that point but she was special. So we became friends - best friends, even - and would constantly spend time at each other’s houses. Her parents had a pool so the summer before 8th grade I was always over at her place. One day we’re alone in the water and…Christ, I don’t know what I was thinking…I lean in and peck her on the lips. She freaks out. Starts calling me the nastiest names. Some words I didn’t even know until I heard them coming from her. We get out of the pool and she tells me I have to go home but wouldn’t let me use their phone to call my mom to come pick me up. So I walked home. In my sopping wet bathing suit and flip flops and no towel I walked almost two miles to my house. Jesus, I could’ve been…ugh. Anyway I finally get home to my parents who were flipping out thinking something had happened to me and I just collapsed in the driveway, crying. Sat there on the hot pavement and sobbed and sobbed and told them everything. So you know how it goes, my mom is fucking furious and calls her mom to scream at her for what she did to me, Hayley’s mom screams back calling me some choice fucking slurs. Distinctly remember hearing ‘fat little dyke’ shouted from the receiver. Meanwhile I’m just in my room petrified because I know she’s going to tell everyone when school starts again. Devastated because my only friend whom I adored now was disgusted with me and wanted nothing to do with me. It’s…” for the first time, your voice breaks, “it’s not fucking right for a little girl to go through that, you know? My parents saw the writing on the wall and immediately sent me to therapy but nothing could have prepared me for the first day of school. Kids ignoring me I could handle but their cruelty? Their mockery? I hid in the bathroom every day just fucking suffering. Whenever I saw Hayley it was like a knife in my gut. Finally it…got to a bad point. Like, a really bad point. I almost…anyway. I finally told my parents what was going on and they transferred me to a new school. But, you know, the damage was done.”

You reach up to wipe your tears with a derisive little laugh. Copia makes soft fretting noises at you and raises your hand to his lips to pepper it with kisses.

“Amore…I have no words. No words to describe how…crudele. Children can be so vicious. And for her parents to say such awful things about anyone let alone a child…” he lets out a low growl, “I am so sorry. My bellissima dolcezza…”

“Wow this is not how I pictured this morning going,” you say with a harsh bark of laughter, sniffling, “thought we’d have a little makeout session on the couch then go get some breakfast but you know, here we are. Trauma time.”

He chuckles and the sound warms your heart.

“Thank you for listening,” you whisper before leaning forward to nestle yourself in his lap. “Thank you for always listening, my love.”

Your ear is pressed to his chest and you hear the rumble of one of his little noises.

“And you, amore. We make quite a pair, no?”

You snort inelegantly.

“What, two traumatized, autistic, bisexual bitches?”

Copia lets out a strangled noise and his chest shakes as he dissolves into laughter with his eyes closed. You lean up and peck a kiss onto his jaw.

“So…breakfast?”

“Excellent idea,” Copia says, groaning as you shift off of him and into a standing position. You take his hands and haul him off the couch, still holding on even after he’s up.

“Promise me you’ll tell me about these someday?” you say, gesturing to his gloves. He shifts to his other foot and gnaws on his lower lip.

“Eh…yes. Another long story for another time.”

You sense his discomfort and you have no desire to press the issue. Instead you press your hand to the small of his back and steer him towards the door.

“Trying to get rid of me, tesoro?”

“Hardly,” you say, opening the door and urging him out, “I wanna get down to the dining hall while there’s still donuts.”

—

The rest of the morning is deliciously lazy, with the two of you lingering over your meal long past anyone else. You’ve gotten more than one curious look from a passing sibling, whose eyes flick from your clasped hands to the way you gaze at him, resting your face on your propped up hand. You continue to pick at your scrambled eggs long after they’ve gone cold, content to listen to him ramble (the current topic is medieval Satanic mystics.) He’s filled with such a wealth of knowledge it honestly leaves you in awe, as well as makes you a little giddy to know you have access to him and his beautiful, silly brain whenever you like. Yours. He’s yours. Your eyes trace the hollows of his eyes, masked by black paint, down the length of his long nose, across the spattering of freckles on his cheeks and down to his lips. His plump, soft lips and the way they felt molded to yours. The way he had you pressed against the stone wall of that empty corridor, groaning into your mouth and fisting your hair, his thigh slotted between your legs to press right up against your–

“Cara? Did you hear what I said?”

“Mmm…h-huh what? Sorry?”

The last word comes out of your mouth a little loud and very panicked and Copia cocks his head at you, looking alarmed. You clear your throat and smile sheepishly at him, hoping to God and Satan he didn’t notice you looking at him like that.

“I asked what you would like to do for the rest of the day?”

“I–oh! Uh…what time is it?”

He looks down at his watch.

“Almost 11.”

You rub your eyes. While you might have slept well last night, all of a sudden you’re bone tired. Rehashing horrible life events will do that, you suppose.

“How do you feel about going back to bed?”

Now it’s Copia’s turn to look panicked.

“What bed? Your bed?”

“Yeah, we can nap for a few hours then…I don’t know. Watch TV. Take a walk. Whatever.”

“A nap, right,” he laughs, eyes darting, “ah…I don’t know if that’s a good idea, dolcezza.”

A sinister little grin unfurls on your lips.

“Oh yeah? Don’t trust me? Think I’m going to take advantage of you?”

His face flushes so fast you’re honestly impressed.

“N-not quite eh…cazzo. Diavoletta mia, you are making this very difficult.”

“Oh that’s a new one,” you murmur, running a fingernail over his knuckles. “Diavoletta mia, I like that.”

He gives you a pained look, one that tells you how desperately he’s holding back right now and it makes you ache. All he needs to do is say the word and you’d let him have you. He’s held your mind and soul in the palm of his hand for months now, to give him your body would be your honor. And pleasure. But instead you smile gently at him, knowing how badly he wants to treat you right. You love him for it but goddamn your vibrator is going to be exhausted in the meantime.

“You know I’m just giving you a hard time, right?” You wince at your choice of word and judging from the way his eye twitches, so does he so you redirect. “C’mon, let’s grab a couple more donuts for later then go get some rest, huh?”

The trip back to your quarters is uneventful, both hands occupied with clutching your prized donuts wrapped in napkins, which you deposit on the counter of your kitchenette. Copia hasn’t said a peep since you left the dining hall and it’s got you anxious, worried that your suggestive behavior earlier was off-putting. 

“Hey,” you murmur, raising your hand to lightly grasp at his bicep and run your thumb over the muscle lovingly, “what’s on your mind?”

“Eh, n-nothing, nothing. I’m fine, dolcezza.”

He’s not, and you know he’s not, but you don’t interrogate him further. Instead you take him by the hand and drag him to the doorway of your bedroom.

“I think some well-deserved rest will do us both good, my love.” His mustache twitches in a smile at the endearment which makes you feel relieved.

“Do you want to…um…” you gesture at his eye paint and he looks like a startled deer once again.

“I–yes. Yes, of course. My paints.”

Disengaging from him you walk to your linen closet and procure a washcloth which he takes and shuffles into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. You sigh and rub your eyes before throwing your mussed covers back and climbing into bed. Your phone gets plugged in before you settle on your side with your back facing the bathroom. Minutes go by - you’re not sure how many - and you open your mouth to holler your concern at him but ultimately stop yourself. The door opens quietly almost a minute later but you don’t turn to look at him, instead waiting for him to round the other side of the bed. When he does, you muffle a gasp at his wonderfully bare face. He nudges his shoes off and removes his sweatshirt, leaving him in a short-sleeved black t-shirt and his gloves. You’re overwhelmed - he might as well be stark naked before you for all the pale, freckled flesh you see - holding your breath as he silently peels the covers back and climbs into bed next to you. He settles on his back, staring at the beams on the ceiling and clenching his jaw. You scoot your body nearer to him, and place your fingers on his chin to tilt his face in your direction. He obligingly shifts onto his side, eyes darting everywhere but your gaze.

“Copia,” you whisper, taking in his deep-set eyes, the dark circles normally masked by black paint, and the long brown eyelashes, “you’re beautiful.”

He sucks in a breath and blinks at you, lips parted and pink from where he scrubbed the lipstick off.

“Amore…you…” he sighs heavily, “why do you care for this old man?”

You want to make a joke about hierophilia but can tell from his face this is not the time. So you settle for raw honesty.

“Copia…how could I not? After all the ways you’ve shown you care for me, how could I feel any other way about you? I—“

You can feel a lump forming in your throat so you distract yourself by raising your hand and tracing his crows feet and lines in his forehead.

“Copia, I don’t know of a better way to say this because I’ve never said it before but…I love you. I love everything about you - your mind, your wrinkles, your mustache. The grey in your hair and the way your ass looks in your cassocks,” he chokes out a laugh and leans into your touch, “Your kindness. Your infinite patience with me. The way you’re looking at me right now. I know we just…I don’t know became an item last night but…Copia you have to know I’ve loved you all along.”

Your tears are flowing freely at this point, sliding down your cheeks to soak your pillow and he brings a hand to the back of your head to draw you further towards him. Gently he kisses the salty trails on your cheeks, lips reverently brushing over your features. He addresses you by your name - not an endearment - and presses his forehead to yours.

“Ti amo, ti amo, ti amo,” he murmurs hoarsely, “you are my everything. Tu sei la mia anima. My world. Thank you.”

You’re not sure how long he cradles your face - long after your tears have dried - and when he finally pulls away you feel both incredibly full and incredibly empty. He rolls onto his back and gently pulls you against him, your chin tucked into his shoulder and hand on his chest.

“Today was a lot,” you murmur, tracing designs into his pectoral.

“Bellezza mia,” he says and you can hear his smile, “the day is not over yet. It’s not even noon.”

You groan and smack him playfully, feeling him shake with laughter beneath you.

“Stop laughing at me and go to sleep, Cardinal Copia.”

He sighs, leather-clad fingers running through your hair.

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead, amore. Your company is far too enjoyable to be unconscious in it.”

It takes all of five more minutes before he starts snoring and you grin, your face pressed against him.

Oh, to be wooed by a Satanic cardinal.

[isephierreo]

Details and analysis of 3H outfits

There is a reflection of the house color in the uniforms of students. Although the examples presented in the image are non-recruitable characters, when you recruit students, the color of the reflection in their uniforms will change to the color of your chosen house.

The Byleth academy uniform concept is based on the concept of student uniforms in modern japanese media. Such as the female uniform, which is based on a japanese female student uniform in terms of a hairband, short skirt, andwhite stockings. The male uniform is based on a uniform from the Taisho period.

Female summer clothing is based on the Patra's uniform with the color scheme reversed, the reason may be due to Petra's nature that adapts to hot weather. However, male summer clothing is based on Felix's uniform🤔

The evening wear consists of an Aiguillette which symbolizes honour, and a stylized design of Pellegrina which has a rhombus (males) and heart (females) shape on its edges, with a standard CoS pattern on the males sleeves and females skirts. The female skirts specifically are the same design as the nun's which both contain the pattern of Sothis' dress. Since the evening wear is intended to celebrate Garreg Mach's establishment, it is only natural that the design combines a formal uniform with CoS clothing.

Duscur

The children wear clothing similar to ancient Egyptian clothing, but the clothing of the man and woman closely resembles those of northern europe. (However, I may be wrong, so feel free to add to this post if you know more about the type of clothing of the Duscur people)

All clothing of the Duscur people of this feature a pixelated pattern, and color schemes of teal, light orange, vanilla, and red cords.

The design of their jewelry appears to be a mixture of wing symbols from cultures such as American Indians, Egyptians, and Persians.

Almyra

This man from the VW end mural wears clothing similar to Nader's, and with a color scheme similar to Claude's and the color purple, which symbolizes royalty in persian culture, he is very likely the king of Almyra.

What I found interesting is that although Almyra is inspired by Persian culture, Nader and king's clothing is similar to Tibetan clothing. However, this is not a problem, there is no shame in drawing inspiration from a number of different cultures to make a culture in a fantasy story, as is the case with Duscur.

Dagda

From the clothing of the man on the camel and the helmets of the soldiers, Dagda appears to be inspired by Ottoman culture.

The reason I believe they are from Dagda is because there are many Shamir's design elements at their design.

Well, my statement that "there is no shame in drawing inspiration from a number of different cultures to make a culture in a fantasy story," this is an example of the opposite.

This man from the CF end mural wears the emblem of the kingdom, but his clothing style is that of the alliance. Why🤔

To know the difference between the clothing style of Fodlan countries, read this.

[writingjourney]

one more? | cardinal copia x gn!reader

Inspired by all the kiss prompts. This is for @leezlelatch ♡

content: 750 words, gn!reader, some suggestiveness and spice but nothing explicit, lots of kissing going on here, we get a little frisky

Masterlist – Ao3 link

✦ ✧ ✦

Lunch breaks are invariably too short. They feel even shorter since you spend them wrapped up in Copia’s cassocked arms, hidden away in an empty corner behind the entrance to the library. Your back is pressed against the cool stone walls, your habit disheveled from his wandering hands, leaving half of your leg exposed to the chill draft haunting this part of the abbey.

The cool air feels heavenly against your heated skin where Copia’s fingertips are trailing up to your hip and back down in a steady dance. It’s oddly tender compared to the way his mouth is so insistent on devouring you. You can only imagine the purple discolorations blooming on your neck right now, the smears of lipstick and bite marks he left in his impatient fervor after he’d pinned you to the wall.

The bells have long since chimed to announce the passing of lunch hour. He should be back in his office and you should be back behind the reception desk. And yet your arms are still tightly slung around his shoulders as his tongue licks into your hungry mouth.

“I have to go back,” he mumbles for the fifth time as he breaks away for air, trying to step back but you don’t let go of his neck. “Amore…”

With your hand in his hair, you press your mouth to his once again, ignoring his complaints. His biretta has long since fallen off his head and you make use of the easy access, dragging your nails over his scalp in the way that he loves so much. He moans loudly and kisses back for a moment, moving his swollen lips against yours almost chastely now. With the kiss distracting you, his gloved fingers wrap around your wrists and he pulls them off of him, pretending to pin you to the wall. With your hands off, he tries to tear himself away once more, but your fingers grasp his pellegrina at the last second. You yank him back, bringing your mouth to his ear as he stumbles into you. “One more kiss? Please?”

“You want your Cardinal to be late?” he whispers, bracing himself against the wall behind you.

“Yes, if it means I get another kiss.”

“I will get in trouble, amore.” He drags his nose along your cheek before nuzzling yours. “Do you have no compassion for me?”

“No.”

He tsks, pulling back slightly when you try to capture his lips again. “So cruel. So cruel to your Cardinal and you claim to love me.”

“I do love you. That’s why I want another one, silly.” You try to pull at his robes again but he won’t budge. “Please please please.”

He whimpers softly. “You know what begging does to me, tesoro.”

“Please. Please, Cardinal, I need one more.”

“One more, then you will let me go?”

“Mhm.”

He leans in, kissing you as softly as he can. You trap his full bottom lip between your teeth for a second and he groans, pressing in harder until the back of your head hits the wall again. He pulls away with a desperate sigh and you whine at the loss of him.

“One more,” you beg, tugging at his robes.

“Amore,” he groans. “You are getting greedy now.”

“Isn’t greed a virtue?”

“I think you are mixing that up, no?”

He gives you another peck before he fully pulls away. You allow it this time, conceding in favor of your own reputation. Someone is going to want something from you any second now and you still have to get presentable.

Copia straightens his rumpled cassock before glancing at your ruined face with a smirk. “We continue this tonight, amore,” he promises. “You will bring the same hunger, yes?”

You nod, smiling like a fool when he winks at you. He almost stumbles over his own feet as he turns back around, still drunk on endorphins and your taste. A few deep breaths and you gather your wits before your eyes get caught by a red blob of color on the floor.

You pick up his biretta and put it on your head. He’s already halfway down the hall when you call out to him. “Looks like you forgot something, Cardinal.”

He spins around, the skirt of his cassock whirling around his legs. “Don’t even say it, amore.”

“You’re lucky,” you say with a grin. “Payment is very cheap today.”

 Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed ♡

Masterlist – My Ao3

[cor-obscenum]

I'm in a HUGE mood for Cardi C lately so I had to write this fic for your flustered cardinal needs. Sorry for those expecting the resurrected Terzo one, but I promise I'm working on it ^^

Behind the Grucifix (Cardinal Copia x GN reader)

Summary: you and the Cardinal share an intimate moment in the hallways of the Ministry, getting a thrill out of the risk of getting caught.

Tags: 18+, MDNI, kissing, teasing, body worship, soft cardiophilia, ear stething, I guess also mild hierophilia (cassock kink? lol)

Read on AO3

"Amore, er, are you sure you want to do this? W-what if we get caught?" Copia asks you, his cheeks turning a deep crimson. His back is pressed against the wall of a dimly lit corridor while your chin rests on his shoulder and your hands on his hips.

"Hmmm…" you reply coyly, pulling away slightly to face him, your hands going upwards and playfully tugging on the pellegrina of his cassock. Your gaze lowers from his blushed face to his chest, where his sparkly Grucifix dangles. It looks so pretty on him, yet it would look prettier if you took it off to explore what's behind the buttons of his cassock, you think.

"Wh-what are you doing, amore?" He stutters, his voice hoarse as you twirl the soft fabric between your fingers.

"I'm just touching your pellegrina, Cardi. I think it looks so pretty on you. It really flatters your body."

"O-okay… Thanks, I guess…" Copia gulps, his heart hammering in his chest. The poor man is so flustered, yet so eager to feel your touch on his body. He wants you so badly, right there.

"Just relax… Being nervous isn't good for your blood pressure. You remember what the doctor said, don't you?" You tease him with a chuckle, your hands now sliding under the pellegrina and laying flat on his chest.

He takes a few deep breaths, his chest going up and down under your hands. You feel his heartbeat, pounding hard inside his ribcage, and you can't help but smile, a slight blush creeping on your face. There it is, your beloved little jewel that beats inside his chest, right behind the Grucifix. You just love his heart and how hard it beats for you.

Then Copia cannot hold himself back anymore and his primal instincts speak louder. His hand reaches the nape of your neck and his lips part as he leans in against you. Both hearts thud in your chests as he feels you giving in, your lips parting, accepting him, and finally locking in a long, passionate, steamy kiss. Your hands still on his chest, you delight in feeling his heartbeat react to the kiss, racing as fast as you've never felt before. The sensation of your hands on his chest sends a shiver down his spine, and although he's a little self-conscious about his racing heart, he lets you indulge in your little interest, and places his hands upon yours, letting you feel the acceleration and heaviness of his heartbeat to your heart's content. He had longed for your touch, it's the best feeling in the world for him.

When you finally pull away from the kiss, panting softly, your fingers turn to the Grucifix in his chest, as you delicately unhook it from the button it was dangling from. "May I?" You ask gently.

"Wh-what? O-okay… Go ahead…" he stutters between gasps, and you start slowly unbuttoning his cassock, exposing the soft, sparsely hairy skin of his chest. His eyes flicker shut and you start trailing little kisses from his neck to his collarbone, sending shivers down his spine and earning small whimpers of pleasure from him.

Your lips graze the warm skin from his collarbone to his sternum, nuzzling softly. "You're so hot, Cardi. I love the way you feel." You whisper, lips pressed against his heart, earning from him a string of raspy thank-yous. And finally, you rest your ear over his heart to hear the sound you love the most in the world: his fast, flustered, infatuated heartbeat.

Copia exhales, his face flushing brightly as he feels your ear pressed against his chest. Your touch, your breath against his skin, the cute smile on your face and your soft coos as you listen to his heartbeat - all those sensations are so overwhelmingly amazing to him. Intoxicating, even. His heart is hammering so hard against his ribcage it feels almost painful to him, yet it's a delicious sensation, and the fact that you enjoy it so much makes it even more pleasurable to your Cardinal. He wants your pleasure, it's all that matters to him.

You sigh, relishing on the fast thumpthumpthump against your ear, envisioning the heart muscle working hard to pump all that blood through his body. The heart is truly a wonderful organ, you think. After listening to the gorgeous sound for a couple delightful minutes, you pull away slightly and move your lips towards his nipple, where you give it a gentle nibble, followed by even gentler sucking and kissing.

"Amore?! W-what are you doing?" His breath hitches on his throat, his face a bright shade of red. "Oh… I mean, don't stop. This feels… Nice". He moans softly, clutching the fabric of your shirt as you play with his nipples. He had never had anyone give so much attention to that part of his body before, and it feels oddly wonderful.

You pull away gently to remove his belt before moving on to unbuttoning his cassock over one of your favorite parts of his body, his soft belly. He's always felt self-conscious about that part of his body, but you knew how to make him feel loved every time you gave it attention. You begin to trail kisses from the bottom of his sternum to his bellybutton, gently kneading the soft flesh as you kiss.

Until your caresses are cut short by a terrified scream from Copia.

"AI, CAZZO! AMORE, STOP!" He shouts, hastily buttoning his cassock. You turn to face the figure standing in the opposite side of the hallway, staring at the two of you with an expression that looked not happy.

Secondo has his hands on his hips, a firm scowl on his face as he silently judges the two of you. After all, you were on your knees right in front of Copia, in a pose that looked like... You know what.

"I-i-it's not what it looks like, I promise! We were... We were just... Eh..." Copia sputters, trying to explain himself, his face red as a tomato. Secondo just walks away, shaking his head and grumbling to himself.

Silence. Uncomfortable silence.

"Well... I guess we should go somewhere more private?" You suggest, embarrassed.

[copias-girl]

To Catch a Cardinal: Chapter VI

A/N: This wouldn’t be a ‘life at the ministry’ fic without a black mass chapter so LETS GOOOO 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

All chapters here <3

•𐕣♥︎𖤐♥︎𐕣•

You awoke in the morning, stirring as your eyes fluttered open, blinking the sleep away. You hopped out of bed, pulling back the thick velvet curtains, and started getting ready for black mass.

You opted to wear a habit that was quite similar to your casual habit, except the skirt was shorter and it had some cute lace ruffles here and there. It also had a corset lace-up in the back which cinched your waist sinfully. You slid a garter belt on under your dress, clipping the straps onto some black thigh-high fishnet stockings to hold them up.

You slipped on your high heeled bootlets and headed out the door, groups of siblings already chatting as they made their way to the chapel. Your friend group soon called out to you from behind, catching up with you.

“Papa just looks so handsome in his robes.” Emily sighed dreamily, earning excited sounds of agreement from the other sisters.

“I know right!” Lilith groaned, turning to you. “You’re so lucky that he’s always vying for your attention.”

“Seems like you’re favoured by the Dark Lord for sure.” Mable nodded.

You only smiled, giving them a casual little shrug as if you were unaware of the special treatment you got from your Papa.

“Hey, what about me?” Rob pouted, pretending to be hurt.

“Of course you’re handsome, Robbie!” The sisters all cried, fawning over him and making you roll your eyes.

“Isn’t he?” Ava giggled, nudging you.

“Huh? Yeah, whatever..” You tossed the noncommittal response over your shoulder as you searched for Cardinal Copia amidst the crowd of siblings.

It wasn’t long before you heard a pitiful string of apologies and excuse me’s, and you subsequently spotted the Cardinal attempting to make his way through the numerous siblings as they inconsiderately bumped into him.

He was close enough for you to snag his pellegrina, tugging him closer to you and throwing him off balance in the process.

He tried to regain his footing, bumping right into you and accidentally wrapping his arms around your waist to keep from falling.

He stared at you with wide eyes, the pointy tip of his rat-like nose just barely touching yours.

“Buongiorno, Cardinale.” You giggled softly.

“B-Buongiorno, Sorella…” His voice came out as a whisper. “Ah! M-mi dispiace!” Panic flashed on his features as he realized his arms were still around you, and he pulled away hastily, his cheeks already flushing. Satanas, it was too early for this.

“I don’t mind.” You grinned, smoothing your hands over his pellegrina, straightening his biretta, even daring to run a fingertip along his jawline. He visibly shivered at that, lips parting as he let out a shaky sigh, his dark-socketed eyes fluttering closed for a moment. Poor little Cardinal, you could just tell he was so incredibly touch-starved.

Taking his arm, you began strolling together down the crowded corridor.

“Are you coming??” Mable turned to ask you, as you had fallen a bit behind.

Emily turned too, rolling her eyes when she saw who you had in tow. “Of course she’s not cumming, she’s with that loser.” She laughed.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m cumming.” You reassured them with narrowed eyes, the innuendos going completely over Copia’s head.

“I hope you slept well, Cardinal.” You made light conversation, stealing longer and longer glances at him as you walked. You couldn’t help but lick your lips, he just looked so incredibly delicious. His sharp sideburns and- Lucifer, that nose. You were really getting a good look at his profile now and you found yourself almost moaning out loud from the thought of riding his face, that prominently pointy snout of a nose pushing into your clit perfectly.

The Cardinal may not know it, no one else may know it, but this man was made for sex. You just couldn’t wait to put that theory to the test.

“I- I slept okay.” He nodded half-heartedly, giving you a little shrug. You wondered what that meant. Did he lay awake all night thinking of you? Was his cock painfully hard? Did he refuse to touch himself out of respect for you, or did he give in and cry out your name as he spilled his load all over his hand? “And you?” He asked, turning to you; his lower lip reddened, no doubt from biting it out of nervousness.

“Mm, wonderfully, thank you. I had a very good dream last night.” You hummed. “You were in it.” You added, turning to him with a ghost of a smirk playing on your lips.

Copia stiffened, breath hitching as he gaped at you with wide eyes. “M-me? W-what was it?” He enquired nervously.

“I can’t seem to remember.” You placed a finger on your chin in thought, so innocent and coy. “I just know it was a good one.”

By this time you had entered the chapel, sitting in one of the pews close to the front, with your friend group on one side of you and Copia on the other.

You all stood and sang the opening prayer as Terzo waltzed up the main aisle, majestic robes flowing behind him, holding the thick black Satanic Bible aloft. He was surrounded by a few siblings carrying black clerical candles, as well as Secondo who was holding up a grucifix staff. Usually during masses, one of the Papas would be conducting the ritual while another would assist as his auxiliary.

Once Terzo reached the altar, he placed the unholy bible onto it, bowing to kiss it. He then opened his arms and called out a proud, “Ave Satanas!”

“Ave Satanas!” You and the whole congregation echoed.

“Please be seated, my children.” Terzo gestured, beginning his sermon, speaking on upholding the sacraments of Satan, as well as taking part in the cardinal sins.

His mismatched eyes found yours, causing his sentence to trail off as a sly smirk spread across his face, and he shot you a saucy wink. All of the siblings in the chapel followed his gaze, their stares all landing on you. You rolled your eyes with a smile, playfully sticking your tongue out at your Papa.

“As I was saying, the sin of gluttony and the sin of lust are very… connected, no? You can indulge in many things, including lust.” Terzo went on, clasping his hands in front of him as he continued his sermon. “Killing two stones with one bird, si?” He said, causing everyone to giggle. “Ah, mi dispiace, I have it backwards. You kill the birds with the stone!” He laughed.

Your eyes drifted over to Copia as you stole a glance at him, biting your lip. You shifted in your place on the pew, accidentally-on-purpose pressing your thigh against his. Your skirt had ridden up, exposing your thighs and the straps of your garter belt which were holding up your stockings.

Copia glanced downwards at the contact, letting out a quiet gasp at the sight of your lingerie. His head snapped back up, feeling as though he had seen something he shouldn’t have. Although, in your peripheral vision you could see the poor man inwardly struggling with himself, his eyes timorously creeping back down to your thighs as you shifted once more, allowing your skirt to rise up even more scandalously, your leg rubbing against his in the process.

You took Copia by surprise, then, looking to him and catching him staring. You said nothing, instead just putting on a shy smile while quickly looking away. And that was embarrassing enough for the poor man, but when you quietly cleared your throat and pulled your skirt back down as far as it would go, his nerves were instantly alit with hellfire.

The Cardinal’s mind was consumed with panic. He was a pervert. A weirdo. A lech. Sweet Satan, he was a creep. And moreover, you, the strikingly beautiful and sugary sweet sister had caught him taking advantage of you in such a horrible way by staring at your exposed thighs like that. Surely, you would never be kind to him again. Hell, right now you were probably shaking your head, thinking about how your friends were right. About how the Cardinal really was just a disgusting rat all along.

You bit the inside of your lip to hide your smirk as the poor man’s alarmed thoughts of dread and worry floundered around inside that head of his. You could practically hear his heart hammering against his ribcage, like a little prey creature. Copia really was a cute, pitiful rat.

The Cardinal felt so contrite, so completely and utterly ashamed of himself for being a dirty old man. But then you were placing your dainty little hand high on his leg, and- oh, Copia was hopelessly confused, your mixed signals tangling around him and causing him to feel dizzy.

“Cardinal, it’s time to kneel.” You leaned in and whispered, pulling him from his distressed thoughts.

The man only stared at you with those wide doe eyes, giving you a meagre nod, as if he was too flustered to even comprehend what you were trying to tell him. But how could he concentrate, when your delicate little fingers were curling around his thigh, your hand so high on his leg that you could almost almost brush against the bulge in his pants. Thank goodness his cassock was made of thick wool; he hoped your quick eyes didn’t catch the way his cock twitched in his pants as you gave his thigh a slight squeeze.

Licking his lips nervously, Copia reached in front of him and pulled the kneeler down, the both of you kneeling side by side with hands clasped in prayer.

•𐕣𖤐𐕣•

You went through mass kneeling, standing, sitting, and chanting; eventually being instructed to open the prayer books and flip to page 666.

All but one of the prayer books in the pew were being occupied by your friends; you and the Cardinal both reaching for the last one. You gave him a charming grin and a small shrug, the poor little mouse blushing as you scooted even closer to him so the two of you could share.

“Hey!” Rob whispered, leaning over Lilith and catching your attention.

“Hm?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Wanna share with me?” He asked, holding his prayer book up.

“Hardly seems convenient to share when we’re not right next to each other.” You pointed out, cozying up to the Cardinal even more, once again feeling the heat of excruciating nervousness emanating from him.

“Well, just climb over Lil and you can-” Rob insisted, but you cut him off.

“What are you talking about? Just share with someone else.” You whispered, shaking your head in confusion.

Rob sighed frustratedly then, running his fingers through his perfectly styled dirty blonde hair and leaning back in his seat. “Always with the fuckin’ rat nowadays…” He grumbled.

“You can share with me, Robbie.” Emily offered with an eager smile.

“Yeah, sure…” He conceded with a sniff, casting a final glance to you.

You were pressed tightly against Copia, thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder. One of your hands even came to settle over top of his to help him hold the book as you flipped to the correct page.

The Cardinal’s Latin chanting came out as a hushed murmur, shyly keeping his painted eyes trained on the words in the book, even though he already knew them off by heart. He just couldn’t bear to look at you, fearing he may suffer some sudden illness if he acknowledged how close you were to him.

After the lengthy prayer, you moved over just a little to give back the Cardinal his space. He greatly felt the lack of you, ashamed of the fact that he wished you would have stayed pressed against him.

And you, well, you already missed Copia’s warmth, and the feeling of his quick, anxiety-ridden breathing.

“Let us pray!” Terzo flourished, and everyone in the chapel stood, joining hands and getting ready to pray the Our Father.

With wide eyes and absolutely no self-confidence, Copia nervously offered his gloved hand to you. You considered it for only a moment, giving him a little smirk before placing your dainty hand in his, also joining with Lilith on your other side.

Just holding your hand was euphoric, and Copia felt like the luckiest man to ever walk the earth. He kept stealing glances at your joined hands, thankful that you didn’t deny him.

“In the name of our unholiest most high, we dare to say:” Terzo outstretched his arms.

“Our Father, who art in hell, unhallowed be thy name. Cursed are thy sons and daughters of our nemesis who are to blame. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Hell. Give us this day, our daily bread, and bless us for our trespasses as we curse those who trespass against us. Lead us vehemently into temptation, and deliver us into evil. Nema.”

There was a moment of silence after everyone finished the prayer, before Papa finally spoke again.

“Sin be with you!” He gestured to the congregation.

“And also with you.” The chorus of voices responded.

“And now, my children, we bestow upon one another, the sign of sin.” Terzo stated with another dramatic flourish, watching as every sibling and clergy member turned to one another.

It was tradition to kiss one another on both cheeks for this part of mass, many siblings even kissing each other on the lips.

Copia’s cheeks were on fire as you turned to him, the hot flush on his face making his little freckles more prominent. Your lashes were thick, lips parted as you reached up, placing a hand on his jawline as you moved in closer closer closer.

The Cardinal tensed up, frozen in his place, not even daring to breathe as you grew dangerously, intoxicatingly near.

You paused just before making contact, savouring the scent of his cologne and the heady sensation of being so close to him, eyes flicking down to his kissable lips. Blood was pounding loud in Copia’s ears, nearly having a heart attack as you slowly leaned in, placing a carefully gentle kiss to his cheek, the corner of your mouth brushing against his. After a moment, you moved and planted another deliberate peck on the other side, being sure to brush the corner of your mouth against his once more. The way his thin moustache felt against your soft skin had you rubbing your thighs together, hungry for more.

“Sin be with you, Cardinal.” You murmured softly, pulling away only enough to gaze deeply into his eyes.

“S-Sin be with you, Sorella…” He responded shakily, ready to crumble under your intense stare. So many thoughts were running through his head. The corners of your lips had brushed together… Could that count as his first kiss?

You hummed in amusement, rubbing your fingertips against his cheeks to wipe away the glistening lipgloss you had left there, causing Copia to blush furiously at the thought of having your sweet lipgloss on him. He wished he could tell you to quit wiping it off so that he could run back to his room, blot it onto a handkerchief, and save it forever. Although, he immediately scolded himself for being a weirdo and having thoughts like that.

Heart beating wildly in his chest, Copia continued to mentally fuss over the technicalities of what had just transpired. He was completely and truly unloved all his life; and the poor man had never been kissed before, so he didn’t exactly know what a first kiss could entail. Was the slight, accidental brushing of lips enough? It may have been nothing to you, but surely not to the Cardinal. The corners of his mouth were still tingling, head still swimming with overwhelming dizziness, as if you had bewitched him with a spell.

Before he could dwell on it any further, it was time for unholy communion. Everyone exited the pews, organized into neat lines as they waited to receive the blessing from their exalted Papa.

Every sister eagerly knelt, excited to have their turn with Terzo placing the host directly into their mouths; but as usual he was distracted, his eyes locked onto you as you made your way down the main aisle towards him.

When it was your turn, you gracefully fell to your knees before your Papa, looking up at him and letting your lips part, slightly sticking your tongue out.

He smirked down at you, taking his sweet time in plucking the host out of the golden ciborium before holding it above you.

“Body of Lucifer.” Terzo murmured, placing it onto your tongue. He pressed it into your wet mouth, fingers curling under your chin while his gloved thumb pushed further into your mouth, mischievous delight dancing in his eyes.

You cast a playful glare up at him, biting his thumb in warning.

“Ah, ah. Don’t be naughty, Sorellina.” He bent down to quietly chastise you, biting the inside of his cheek to stop the smile from spreading across his face.

Terzo then traded the ciborium for the chalice of wine that Secondo had in his hands, and he held it up to your lips for you to drink. You kept a cheekily defiant eye contact with your Papa, but suddenly he was purposefully tipping the chalice and some wine spilled over the edge, dripping down your chin.

Terzo- ever the gentleman- immediately came to your rescue, despite having deliberately created the problem himself. He swiped away the droplet, subsequently licking it off his finger with a triumphant smirk.

The eyes of everyone in the chapel were locked on the two of you; jealous tension hanging thick in the air. Even poor Copia felt a pang of worry in his heart. He knew how Terzo could be so captivating with his endless flirtations, of which you happened to be the subject of, so he only hoped that the man wouldn’t steal you away. Still, though, the Cardinal felt guilty for having such thoughts. It’s not like he owned you. You were just a kind sister who had been merciful enough to take pity on him, but he wasn’t entitled to your affections at all.

“Fratello, quit using our unholy ritual to flirt with poor Sorella.” Secondo scolded his brother through gritted teeth, elbowing the man in the ribs and casting a disapproving glare at him.

Terzo only brushed him off, but shot his brother a competitive look when they both offered their hands to help you back to your feet. You accepted both of their gloved hands with a smile, your eyes falling graciously onto Secondo for a moment.

“Nema.” You clasped your hands in prayer and curtsied to Terzo. “Pervert.” You added, shooting him a devilish smirk as you strutted back to your seat, hearing his mischievous cackle behind you.

•𐕣𖤐𐕣•

Once mass was concluded, you eyed the Cardinal with a look he couldn’t quite discern. It was lust, but the poor thing had such low self esteem that he didn’t even recognize it.

You walked out of the chapel arm in arm, strolling leisurely until the large crowd of siblings passed. Copia was flattered that you didn’t mind being seen with him. He was used to being avoided like the plague; no one ever wanted to be seen associating with the weird rat man.

Your friends hung back with you, talking amongst themselves, when suddenly you felt a pop!

“Oh!” You exclaimed, halting your steps.

“Sorella, a-are you alright?” Copia asked worriedly.

“Oh, one of my garter straps came undone.” You realized. “Would you help me?”

The Cardinal’s eyes widened, the flush on his face spreading to the tips of his ears. “H-help you w-with… Ehm- w-with- eh.. w-with the g-g-garter?” He nervously stuttered.

“Uh huh.” You nodded innocently. “If you could?”

And how could he ever say no to you? When you were gazing at him with those pretty eyes and twirling a lock of your hair around your finger like that?

He nodded quickly, dropping to his knees in front of you. To his absolute horror, you turned around. It was one of the straps in the back that had come loose. Your short little skirt was such a tease, almost, almost giving him an eyeful but not quite.

He grabbed ahold of the strap, biting his lip and tugging it down to meet your fishnet stocking, his brows furrowing in confusion when it wouldn’t reach.

“Oh, you can just reach up there and pull the whole thing down a bit if it doesn’t reach.” You suggested, looking back at the poor little rat as he struggled.

His alarmed eyes met yours and you only gave him an innocently kittenish smile of encouragement, before he cast his stare downwards, gloved hands trembling as he reached up your dress. The poor man could feel sweat beginning to bead on his brow, his heart hammering against his ribcage, chest tightening to the point that he feared he would pass out.

Cautiously, he reached up up up your skirt, desperately trying to be a gentleman and not skim his fingers against the supple flesh of your ass or cause your skirt to lift too much. He finally reached your garter belt, pulling it down slightly so that the strap would reach.

Copia was biting his lip so hard he tasted blood, quivering hands fumbling to attach the clip to your stocking.

Meanwhile, your friends had stopped to wait up for you, all of them gawking at the sight of pathetically awkward Copia with his hands up your habit.

Finally, he got it, releasing a tensely shaky exhale. Satanas, he had never… He had never done anything like this before, he could barely even fathom the thought of you asking him to do this; especially when everyone else seemed to find him so incredibly detestable.

You adjusted everything back into place while he hurried back to his feet, trying to calm down but feeling utterly stupefied by you.

“Oh, thank you so much Cardinal!” You beamed, pulling him into a hug, your arms wrapping around his neck. “You’re the b-!” your eyes widened, swearing that you felt something shamefully hard heavily pressing right into you. “You’re the best.”

Copia looked like an eager puppy dog, the corners of his lips twitching upwards into a nervous smile at your praise. His lips weren’t the only thing that twitched, however.

“You know, I could have done that for you, babe. A lot faster than Rat, anyways.” You didn’t even notice Rob stalking up to you, towering over you and Copia.

“You know, I think Rat, here, is pretty good with his hands.” You countered with a devilish little smirk, ducking away as Rob tried to throw an arm around your shoulders, going around the other side of the pitifully red-faced Cardinal. He was usually called ‘Rat’ as a demeaning insult, but for some reason, that name only flustered him more when it came from you.

Hooking your arm with Copia’s, you pulled him along and caught up with your girlfriends as they excitedly beckoned you over, wanting to make plans for a sleepover.

𖤐 to be continued 𖤐

Taglist: @sucharide @the-hole-in-terzos-shoe @rightintheghoulies @copiaswifey @youhaveahomeinmyheart @mister-girl @faeeeeh @rubyserpentine @ramblingoak @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @my-mummy-dust @angelconservation @yourlocalghouleh @gh0sty6 @nikolaiology @thenick100 @mothsdraw @ivyanddaisies @gothdaddyissues @moonlight-fern @copiaslittleratty @nocturnal-birb @creepyalbatross @lightbluuestars @delta-is-here @1kirby1 @dawnghoul @kyberj @esmiephan @not-ya-girl @notmanagingmymischief @averagecrastinator @anubidian @peripheralviision @morbid-personality @rewin-d @madisyn-grace @oops-hyper-fixated-on-slashers @androidwitchbitch @lilithsgirlfriend @xhorror-nerdx @pxl8ed

[mynameis-gloria]

22 agosto 2024, montagna, giuste ricompense, felicità ed adrenalina, paesaggi spettacolari, disavventure con scarponcini che mi han fatto far la pellegrina scalza per km e km ma ehi, mica ho mollato!

[copiousloverofcopia]

The lovely @mustluvecho and I did a fic/art trade and here is my contribution featuring Cardinal Copia x reader!!!

I hope you all enjoy and thank you Echo for trading with me 💗

Inspiration

When your Cardinal invites you to meet him in the main hall of the Abbey wearing nothing but your nightgown and a smile, you are in for a night of pleasure.

Also available HERE on AO3!

Definitely NSFW below the cut!

You walked down the corridors of the Abbey. It was late and dark. The halls, somehow so much more foreboding than they were during the day. Your heart was pounding behind your breast with the anxiety and excitement that began creeping up inside you. Wondering at which turn you’d meet with your fate.  

Suddenly your breath was stolen. Your vision, filled with blackness, made warm by the comfort of a familiar pair of leather clad hands. Gently they covered your eyes as you heard the low hum of an, “amore” whispered sweetly in your ear. Your body relaxing back against your captor’s chest. 

“You frightened me, you know?” you laughed, grabbing Copia’s hands from your eyes and turning around to face him.

“Perdonami.” he said softly, pressing his lips to the backs of your hands. A coy smile, spreading across his face. That damn smile would have you agree to commit the most lascivious of sins had its bearer only asked. Copia too, looked positively enchanted. Drinking in the sight of you in your black silk nightgown–one that allowed all the curves of your body to make themselves known. 

“So Cardinal…for what do I owe this invitation?” you asked, wondering why he’d asked you to meet with him so late at night, and in the main hall no less. 

“You see amore, I–ah—I am in desperate need of your help.” he replied with a bit of a stutter. Now there was your awkward clergyman. The hint of his nerves beginning to leak through the thin veil of his suave exterior. 

“What is it?” You asked, now even more curious as to the reason for your late night rendezvous. “You know I’ll help you in any way I can.” Your words seemed to please him. Copia’s smile returning and his hands settling on the tops of your hips. He pulled you closer to him and you could already feel the heat growing in your belly. A need, swirling in every vein. 

“I am struggling with ah…inspiration? I was wondering if you would allow me to perform a ritual with you?”

“Of course!” you exclaimed, unable to control your enthusiasm. “What did you have in mind?” you asked as you traced your fingers along the hem of his pellegrina. Feeling his grip tightening at your sides. Watching as he ever so slightly bit into his lower lip—elated at your willingness to abide. 

“Then come with me.” He said, rushing the two of you towards the empty chapel. When the doors opened up you were in awe.The sanctuary and altar illuminated in candle light from what felt like hundreds of them. All cascaded like starlight in the otherwise darkened belly of the room. 

“It’s beautiful.” 

“Not as beautiful as you. Come, come.” Copia said, guiding you down the nave. Taking a moment to bow in the aisle before approaching the altar with you at his side. He wasted no time in lifting you up. Gently setting you down on the stone slab. The heated flesh of your thighs—a stark contrast to the cool of the stone below. 

You watched as the Cardinal slowly undid the buttons of his cassock. Eyes staring into you as he undressed. Watching you begin to slowly relax your legs open–making a space for him to meet with you. The sound of his zipper as it pulled down, made you ache inside. All the blood within you, pooling in your core. 

“If you will have me sorella, I will show you pleasure the likes of which you have never known before.” he promised, his words shaky as his own nerves weighed on.

“I will have you always, my sweet Cardinal.” You vowed, pulling him closer to you. Your lips meeting together in heated passion. He pulled back a moment, mouth open and heavy panting. Brushing away the tresses from your face, before returning to your lips. Tangling his hands in your hair, black as the night, and gliding his tongue over your own. 

You could feel yourself become wet, throbbing in anticipation of his touch. Copia carefully exploring your body. His hands falling over your breast. Kneading it softly before pulling your dress down to release them—breast spilling over the neckline with ease. 

Copia drawing your nipple into his mouth and sucking gently as his other hand went to the precipice of your thighs. He was hungry for you as his fingers met with the wetness of your dampened panties. “So willing to give yourself to me amore.”

“Absolutely.” You purred as you grabbed his wrist helping him find his way to your folds. His nimble fingers running up through your slick. Licking his lips before kissing you once more and curling his fingers up into your entrance. Your body, instantly lifting up from the stone. 

“I will anoint the altar in your cum sorella. Your willing sacrifice for me—your devotion spilled onto the stone.” he moaned as you rocked your hips against his hand. Gripping tightly to him as you began to cum. 

“Ah Copia! I’m cumming!” you mewled, grinding against his hand.

“Cum for me amore mio. Give yourself over to me.” Copia groaned, his hardened cock leaking and pulsing with the feel of you coming undone on his fingers. You reached down between you, ready to take him in your hand, but he pulled away.

“What is it?” you asked confused. But without another word Copia took hold of your panties pulling them off you before dropping to his knees. A man prepared to worship you as you laid before him on the altar. Whispering to the old Gods—to Lucifer under his breath as he slid his hands up your calves. Taking your nightgown up in his fists and slowly pushing it up over your thighs. 

“We aren’t done yet. I must taste you.” he groaned, fingers slipping gently back inside your soaked pussy. His mouth, covering your folds as he lapped up the juices that had flooded out from within you. Moaning and humming as he moved to encircle your clit with his tongue. His mustache tingling against your sensitive flesh.  

“Ah!” you cried out, head falling back as Copia’s other hand guided you down on your back. Legs spread wide open for the Cardinal’s ritual. He lost himself, devouring you with full fervor. Tasting every bit of lust that came from you. His cock aching to be seated inside you as you both climbed the heights of passion.  

“Amore mio, la dolcezza della tua fica supera qualsiasi cosa nei cieli o nell'inferno stesso.” he growled. His mouth, returning to you—sucking on the bud of your clit until the tingling sent you over once more. Pouring yourself into his willing mouth like water for one who was dying of thirst.

He smiled as he pulled back a bit, his mustache covered in your cum. Wiping his mouth of you, before he began kissing and nipping at your inner thigh. Bringing himself back up to stand above you. Reveling in the way you looked—a puddle of sex and ecstasy laid out before him on the altar—just as he intended. 

Copia was ready. His cock, almost red with engorgement. About to burst with his need to fuck you. To claim you as his own upon the altar. He pulled your hips down closer to the edge. Hands savoring the feel of your push curves filling out his palms.   

“I need you.” you whimpered, shaky and still buzzing all over with your orgasm. Copia gaze washed over your body once more before he began staring deeply into your eyes.

“And I need you amore…now let us dedicate this final act of lust in his name. Si?” he asked, nudging the head of his cock against your entrance. 

“In his name.” you moaned. No sooner had the words left your lips and Copia was driving his length deep inside you. Spreading you out over this shaft with ease. His hands planted on either side of you on the altar as he steadied himself. Thrusting up harder and harder. Making the most sinful of sounds between you when his pelvis met over and over with yours.

It wasn’t long before Copia’s stride began to waver. Drunk in the feel of you around him, he was losing his rhythm fast. His cock relentlessly pounding away into the spot that made you feel transcended. Pleasure, tingling in every fiber of your being. Legs, quivering as you wrapped them around his back. Drawing him in closer with every thrust. 

“Oh fuck amore. You just…ah… you feel so good.” he moaned. Now using his grip on your hips to buck up into your cunt harder and deeper. “I don’t know how much longer I can last.” he cried, trying desperately to not cum. 

“Oh Copia, so do you! Just…ah…just cum with me!” you cried out. Inside, squeezing down and all around him. Copia couldn’t help it, the pressure from your walls tugging tightly to him sent him over. Spilling himself against the deepest point of you. The Cardinal panting and moaning as your body milked him for every single drop.    

He collapsed on top of you. The weight of him feeling so comforting and warm. His arms wrapping around you as his cock stayed buried inside. Both of you, prolonging the time before you'd be separated once more. 

Copia raised up on his elbows and gently pushed the matted hair from your face. Smiling down at you when your eyes opened to him. Your face blushed with the most brilliant shade of rose. To him you had never looked more beautiful than you had in this moment.

He kissed your forehead and then your lips. Both your breathing still ragged from your efforts. Sweat glistening in the light from the candles. Content to stay like this forever should you be allowed.  

“Well if that doesn’t inspire me I do not know what will.” he smiled, kissing you again.

“Do you think it worked?” you asked. Still uncertain what, if anything other than your pleasure, had actually occurred. Copia could feel it though. Renewed creativity already brewing inside him. 

“Of course amore. There can be no one else who can draw out my gifts—my passions more than you. 

“I love you Copia.” you vowed, bringing your hand to caress his cheek. Copia leaned into your touch then took your hand and pressed his lips into your palm. 

“And I love you amore. My muse—for always.”

Notes:

Perdonami- Forgive me

Amore mio, la dolcezza della tua fica supera qualsiasi cosa nei cieli o nell'inferno stesso.-My love, the sweetness of your cunt surpasses anything in the heavens or hell itself.

[femalefemur]

An Introduction

warnings: none, please let me know if i missed anything!

Rumours follow them like ants to sugar, always milling about and floating in the air in hushed whispers as they pass, even from the most proper and uptight amongst them, almost as if one can’t help but mutter about the 141 and their work. 

The 141 are close, much closer than most people and definitely a lot closer than the other priests, bishops or cardinals that roam the halls of the Vatican. They spend all their time together whether they are fighting or not and rarely seem to let anyone in though they’re friendly and will gladly talk to others, they stick together and have an air of distance about them. One supposes this could be attributed to the amount of time they’ve spent together and the things they’ve seen and been through due to their job. 

And what is their job exactly you may ask, as many others have, especially the newly ordained who watch the group of four men make their way down the hallowed halls, talking amongst themselves as they pass by. Well they’re exorcists, exorcists of the highest calibre, exorcists who fight unholy evils that many could not conjure in their wildest imaginations, exorcists who are revered and talked about in hushed whispers in the dead of night when sleep should have taken those talking.

They’re led by the great John Price, Father Price to those who welcome him into their homes in their time of need, who reports directly to the Pope and grins at the other priests as they complain about him smoking a cigar indoors and tells them to take it up with his boss if they don’t like him, knowing they would never have the balls to. He dresses how one would imagine a priest to dress, all black cassock with a fascia, red socks of his own choosing, though he also wears a pellegrina, not many priests do and certainly none of the others in his group but he does. Perhaps it is a nod to the fact that if he so desired he could be a bishop or even cardinal but instead he chooses to stay as a priest, stating that he has more freedom as one when asked by Kyle, the newest of their group. John was never one to care much about the paperwork that followed as one rose in ranks within the clergy and he certainly didn’t want the responsibility of a whole diocese, he much rather preferred being able to travel around and help those in need, his diocese was the world and he was happy to serve. 

The group’s second in command as it were is a priest named Simon Riley, Father Riley or Ghost as many called him for the way he blended into the shadows and appeared out of seemingly thin air. A stoic man, dressed in an all black cassock, fascia and socks that somehow seemed to be a deeper shade of black than the standard cassock. He also donned a balaclava, no one except for John Price and the Pope knew why, though the other two of the group would soon find out what lurks beneath and perhaps the reason for the balaclava in the first place. 

Next is the newest member of their group, Father Kyle Garrick, a man with features so beautiful he looks like he belongs on a runway rather than being a member of the clergy. He prefers teal socks, a contrast to the otherwise black monotony of the priest’s uniform, something that made him smile whenever he caught a glimpse of them as he sat or kneeled, something that was still his when everything else had been stripped away so he could be moulded by the word of God. Kyle’s a good man, a valiant man who had stumbled into something out of his depth only to be swept up by the 141, a little to the envy of others and the surprise to many more. Taken in by John Price and taught the skills to survive and fight in this world he had only just discovered. 

Finally is their sunshine, Father John MacTavish, a Scottish priest and the youngest of them though no stranger to the things that go bump in the night. A priest who somehow has managed to keep his mohawk much to the disdain and confusion of others, a priest who likes to wear emerald green socks that stand out against his black cassock and somehow make his eyes seem even more bright. He’s talkative and full of laughter, a much needed presence in the 141 and their work. A priest who puts everyone at such ease they’ll forget why they even called for them in the first place. A priest who is exceptional at his job, who fights with everything in him and won’t back down until he’s won.

The 141 they’re called, a name given to them by John Price and approved by the Pope himself. The number one symbolising unity and god, the beginning, the number four symbolising order in the universe, the four elements, the four seasons and the four horsemen, the number one once again to bring balance and keep everything in order.

This is their beginning and perhaps their end.

[portaltothevoid]

you're losing me part vi -- copia x reader

A/N: thank you for being patient with me! i A LOT of research when into this chapter. if i'm writing about infernals, i gotta do them justice. that being said...

songs: i hope you suffer by afi

warnings: dark magic (whatever you do, do not try this at home), hexing, demons, reacting/dealing with trauma, self-loathing, self-deprecation, angst, i translated the italian myself (shout out to wordreference.com)

word count: 6.5k

taglist: @bitchywitchygardener @copias-juicebox @da-rulah @deetz-ghuleh @fishwithtitz @ivycasket @water-ghoulette

All eyes were on you. You gulped at the discovery of your destiny and the confirmation of your vision. This was all real. It was actually happening. In one day you went from just an average person who wasn’t anything special, or so you thought, to practically becoming the next messiah of the Satanic Church. Your eyes glazed over as you stared off into nothing. Not even the eruption of everyone speaking at once diverted your attention.

Nihil was insisting on informing the other higher-up Clergy members, making Sister Imperator snap back with reasons why they shouldn’t even tell anyone outside of this room. Primo was muttering about herbs for rituals, which was where Secondo chimed in about how you would need to start preparations and how he now needed to research rituals for your ascension, if anything like that even existed. Terzo just leaned back against the wall with a smug look on his face as he watched the chaos unfold. Copia’s fists were balled at his sides as focused on calming himself down enough so he wouldn’t smack that look off Terzo’s face.

Eventually, the noise of the anxious, overlapping chattering and near arguments was enough to overload your senses as they escalated. You started to sway as you felt yourself get lightheaded. As you slightly dipped backwards, Swiss stepped forward to stabilize you by gently holding your elbows, and guiding you to take a step towards the door. You have to rest, he told you. You shut your eyes tightly, the lights suddenly too bright. It felt like you were walking through a dense fog as your legs were turning to jelly. You nodded as you leaned against him, needing support.

“Basta (Enough)!” Copia shouted sternly once he noticed your movements. “This is too much for her body to handle. Nothing needs to be decided right now. We will discuss everything when she regains her strength.”

You pressed your mouth into a smallest smile at his words. You reached for his arm, grabbing the fabric of his cassock as firmly as you could given your state. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Terzo begin to open his mouth. He whipped around and lunged for him, pressing his forearm against Terzo’s neck with his back against the wall. “Qualsiasi tu sia in procinto di dire, non farlo. Ha attraversato abbastanza a causa di ti (Whatever you’re about to say, don’t. She’s been through enough because of you),” Copia snarled, forcing his words through his clenched jaw. 

Terzo managed to wiggle his arm free as Copia applied more pressure to his neck. He then made a motion like he was zipping his lips, raising his eyebrows twice. Copia gave him one more shove into the wall before he pushed himself off of him. As he turned back to you, he straightened his pellegrina. 

You took a few shuffled steps before your knees buckled. Copia rushed to your side, arms awkwardly outstretched in an attempt to catch you. Swiss had a firm grip on you, keeping you upright. He swatted Copia’s hands away as he picked you up to carry you. You used what little strength you had left to wrap your arms around the ghoul’s neck. “’S okay, Copia, Swiss’s got me,” you whispered weakly, trying to lift your head up from his shoulder to look at Copia. 

The ghoul with the white horns held the door open. Once you, Swiss, and Copia were in the hallway, he slammed it shut. Him and the other ghoul followed behind you. Thank you… you thought to all of them just before your head fell onto Swiss’ shoulder and you slipped into unconsciousness. 

~~~

Copia was restless. Once you were safely tucked into bed, and he checked thrice that you were still breathing, he couldn’t stop wearing paths into the floors of his living quarters. Swiss watched him go back and forth, back and forth. The constant eyes on him didn’t ease his anxiety any less. 

Abruptly he gathered his things. “I have to try to help… do, eh, some research or something,” he announced to the ghoul. “Send someone when she wakes up?”

Swiss nodded in response with one of his signature smiles and then swung his legs onto the couch, placing his arm behind his head. He grabbed the remote and began flipping through the channels on the tv.

“Sì, sì, certo, mettiti comodo (yeah, yeah, of course, make yourself at home),” Copia grumbled as he sent you a text for when you wake up. 

Amore, if I’m not here when you wake up, I’m just doing research, figuring out how I can help you. Let me know as soon as you’re up, sì? ❤️🖤 

He hit send and put his phone in his pocket. As he left his apartment, he jumped at the sudden movement of someone right outside his door. He made eye contact with the white horned ghoul who was standing watch outside the door. “Ah, mi dispiace, I, uh, didn’t expect you to be there… I’ll, eh, be back… uh, thank you?” he stumbled over his words as the ghoul returned to his stance with a single nod. His floor was swarming with ghouls. Aside from a Ghost ritual, he didn’t think he’d ever seen this many in one place outside of their own dormitory. At least he knew you’d be safe. 

Inside of going to the library or his own office, he found himself knocking on Sister Imperator’s door.

“Come back later, please,” she called out on the other side of the door.

Copia gently opened it and stuck his head in. “It’s me, Seestor.”

The woman sighed heavily, waving him in with her hand. “How is she?”

“Still sleeping. I couldn’t… sit around and wait. I want to start researching or planning or…” he fretted as he sat down across from her.

“Cardinal. You said it yourself, there’s really nothing we can do right now.”

“But we have to– Should we start with Lilith herself? The history of her descendants? Rituals? Or possession? Is it even that?” his questions flew out of his mouth a mile a minute. 

“Secondo has already exhausted any historical texts we have, that’s how little information there is. This really is… uncharted territory,” she said with distant eyes.

“Was there anything useful?”

“Mentions of a ritual for the ghouls to formally swear allegiance to her, nothing of the actual ritual itself. I’m afraid the texts that we need are in Rome. We can’t exactly ask for all these volumes without raising suspicion.”

Copia furrowed his brow in thought. The wheels were turning as something dawned on him. “Seestor, she has a connection to the ghouls. I don’t know how strong it is, but could we… Is there a way we could break their oath and get them to talk to us? They’ve got to know something about this…”

“I don’t know if they’d be willing to… but that would be a place to start researching, no? Maybe there’s something in the ghoul’s history?” Copia nodded and went to get up. “But, Cardinal, there’s really not much we can do until she wakes and we know what state she’s in. Even then, we have to wait for her visions to start.”

“Visions?”

“The one thing that was clear across the texts Secondo found was that with any awakening, with any strong connection to a deity… It’s almost like they become prophets. There was no other explanation to the knowledge than had other than it came straight from the mouth of Lucifer or whomever else had… Earthly matters to attend to. Perhaps that’s why there’s barely any information on this…” Imperator mused. “Nonetheless, we have to wait for her. But if she yells anyone about them, it’ll be you Cardinal.”

Copia nodded again as he let Imperator’s words sink in for a moment before he turned towards the door.

“Cardinal?” she called after him.

“Sì, Seestor?”

“As difficult as it may be, it might just be best to busy yourself with your regular work so you don’t get behind. Secondo is preparing a ghoul summoning ritual as we speak. If she really is the daughter of Lilith, she’ll need to know the ins and outs of it and summon one for herself. I can’t imagine what she’s going through. She needs someone. She needs you.” Her usual façade of steel had softened considerably. It was her way of attempting to console Copia. She knew how much he cared about you and she knew he would become obsessive with finding answers. She had to remind him of what was most important right now.

“Sì, I-I understand,” he said with a bow of his head before he scuttled to his own office.

Of course, he wasn’t going there to work on any of his actual duties. He had a small stockpile of books from when he first saw your mark of Lilith. Maybe there could be something of use if he simply looked up the Queen of Demons herself. In any case, he knew researching her and the lore that surrounds her were ways to show respect to her as a deity. No matter if he found anything for you or he didn’t, it wasn’t going to be wasted time. 

Unfortunately, nothing of great use turned up. He decided that in the coming days he would set up an altar for her. If he had a dedicated space for her in his home, maybe it would make contact with her easier for you. Perhaps the answers you needed didn’t have to be found in literature, but from Lilith herself, inciting the visions that Imperator had mentioned. 

Hours had passed by when he switched gears to researching the history of the Ministry’s ghouls, their summoning rituals, and the like. Eventually, the day caught up with him. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for what he thought was just a moment.

~~~

You had no idea how long you were out for. It took a few blinks of your eyes to get your bearings. The only thing you really knew was that it was nighttime. The only light coming from the glow of an iPad next to you. As you sat up you looked over to see Swiss sitting cross legged on the other side of the bed, frustratingly swiping away at something. Immediately upon feeling you stir, he went on alert.

You’re awake! Even his thoughts were full of concern.

“How long was I asleep?” you asked aloud.

I’d guess about fourteen hours, he thought, glancing at the clock on the night stand behind him. Are you feeling okay?

Yeah, I don’t feel weak or anything. I feel sort of… normal, you thought. Hey, is this the only way you can communicate with me or can you use your voice?

Well, ghouls take a vow of silence out of respect for Lucifer around the Clergy. But now that you’re ascending you can give us permission. We obey you first before anyone else now.

You nodded. “Okay, well, this telepathic shit is still weird for me. So I give permission to every ghoul to speak to me as long as I’m alone, unless I say otherwise.” Your tone was confident, you felt like a real leader. He flashed you his pearly whites while his tail swished happily. “You aren’t servants. You should be held equally to us. Having you here… it’s a gift. I’ll make sure everyone sees it that way.” You smiled warmly at him as you patted his knee. “Do I need to say that in my mind for everyone or…?

“Thank you, Your Eminence. You’ve always treated us like… humans. But no, just speaking it the way you did, everyone heard it loud and clear.”

“Good! And you’re welcome. I mean, you look fairly human. You know, minus the tail and the claws,” you shrugged.

Swiss let out a laugh. “On the mortal plane we have to blend in, so we take a human form. Only a few of our demon qualities remain just to show that we’re hell-sent. If we have to be around humans, like outside of the Ministry, we can retract our claws and hide our tails. Like when we help with Ghost.”

“And you all have your own… abilities? I’m sorry, my knowledge of ghouls really isn’t that in depth.”

He nodded excitedly. “We’ll teach you! And we’ll show you what we can do. So usually each ghoul corresponds with an element. There’s air, water, fire, earth, and quintessence.” He noticed your quizzical look, unsure of the last element he mentioned. “Quintessence is basically like… spirit, I guess? Those ghouls are really good at going between worlds, teleporting, that kind of stuff. It’s more energy based.”

“Oh, so they’re like the psychic ghouls?”

“Kinda! Then there’s multi-ghouls. That’s me. I can do a little bit of everything.” You slowly nodded and ran your hand through your hair. “This has gotta be a lot to take in, huh?”

“To say the least,” you sighed as you widened your eyes for a moment. 

“We’ll have to do like… secret training sessions! We can teach you about your abilities.”

“So you can help me not go all black-eyed baddie when I get pissed off?” you chuckled.

“I think so? Well, I dunno about that, exactly. But we can show you other things you can probably do. I think being the Mother of All, your abilities are kind of like a multi-ghoul’s. Like me!”

“There’s gotta be a way I can control it…” you mumbled, looking at your fidgeting fingers in your lap.

“There is. It comes with time. It’s like when a ghoul is first summoned. Takes them a little to adjust to being here. You’ll see when you summon your ghoul.”

“When I what?”

“You’re gonna have to summon your own ghoul. There has to be one assigned to you and you alone. One that’ll be completely devoted to you. Like how Omega is…” Swiss cleared his throat, knowing that mentioning Terzo was a sore spot. “Well, you know… And I mean, we all are devoted to you, but this one will have a special connection to you. Like if you need help and you call out to any of us, that ghoul will always be the first one there.”

You could only stare at Swiss. He could tell by the way your eyes started to gloss over and became unfocused as you looked away from him. He scooted in front of you, taking both your hands in his. “We’ll help you. I’m sure The Infernals will help you too. You won’t have to do this alone.” 

“Thank you,” you whispered as you leapt forward to engulf him in a hug. He squeezed you tightly and started to purr. 

“Wait, where’s Copia?” you wondered when you returned to your sitting position.

“Oh he’s been in and out, waiting for you to wake up. He probably fell asleep in his office. He’s been trying to research things to help you. I don’t think he’s stopped worrying about you. I should go let him know you’re up.”

You sighed contently, ignoring the pang of guilt that lurked under the surface. You knew Copia was doing whatever he could for you. “Let me text him first,” you said as you reached for your phone. You didn’t even see the text from him when your lock screen came to life. Your eyes turned to slits as a scowl came over your face. Swiss could feel your demeanor change like static electricity before a lightning strike. 

You tried to take deep breaths as you opened a text from Terzo.

Buonasera, la mia bella addormentata (good evening, my sleeping beauty). Just wanted to remind you that you left some things in my office. I expect to see you tomorrow to get them 😘 

You could feel it, a spark in your chest that ignited and slowly was engulfing your body in flames. It almost felt so real, you had scanned your eyes over your body to make sure. That only made you aware that you were still in your dress from the summons, one that you now hated. You clawed at the zipper in the back and tore it off, leaving it in a crumpled ball on the floor. Swiss turned around immediately, giving you privacy while you changed. You just threw on a random pair of underwear, since you were just reminded where your other pair had ended up. Then you put on some black sweatpants and a random tank top, whatever your hand happened to touch first. 

You grabbed a tote bag and opened the bottom drawer of your dresser. You dug around until you took out a wooden box with intricate carvings on it of pentagrams and sigils of protection. While you weren’t a “closet witch” these weren’t things you wanted to leave lying about or to broadcast to anyone you had them. Into the bag, you tossed in a container of graveyard dirt, a jar of rusty nails, a vial of black mustard seeds, a small bag of hemlock, and a vial of thorns you had collected for an occasion such as this. You pawed around in the drawer some more to grab a couple black candles, a black bowl, and your small black cast iron cauldron.

Swiss anxiously shifted his weight on his feet as you packed everything up. “Um… should I go and tell Copia you’re–” he started to say.

“No,” you growled gutturally. “There’s something I have to do first.” 

You stormed into the kitchen. Flinging cabinets opened until you found vegetable oil, chili powder, and crushed red pepper. You turned on the stove, placing the cauldron over the low flame. The white horned ghoul hastily entered the room. Swiss had followed you to the kitchen. “Your Eminence, are you al–”

“Sodo, do I look alright to you?” you snapped. Your eyes turned black as you glared at him. The white horned ghoul, named Sodo, backed away from you, literally almost putting his tail between his legs. 

“What are you–” Swiss started to ask, barely audible.

“I’m doing something I should have done a long time ago. Now, shut up and let me do it,” you snarled. Dutifully, the ghouls went and sat on the couch, but they never took their eyes off you. 

You eyeballed about half a cup of oil and poured it into the cauldron. You tapped the glass vial filled with mustard seeds and they spilled into the oil. Next, you started to lightly sprinkle some hemlock out of the bag before shrugging and dumping almost half of it in. After a couple dashes of chili powder and a generous pinch of crushed red pepper, you counted six thorns from your vial and dropped them in one by one. To top off the mixture, you added a generous amount of graveyard dirt.

You gave everything a stir. Then you marched back into your room to grab a shoebox from the back corner of your closet. Inside were trinkets, photos, memories. You grabbed a polaroid of Terzo you had taken of him backstage on the last Ghost tour. 

You slammed it on the counter when you reached the kitchen. Yanking open the refrigerator, you grabbed a lemon.

“This is quite the potent spell you’re concocting,” a smooth, unfamiliar voice said, making your insides jump. “I’d hate to be on the receiving end of it.” You shut the door and turned to see a man in a regal black suit leaning against the counter. Your eyes darted to the side to see if Swiss and Sodo had reacted yet, but they were perfectly still. “They can’t see me. Only you can.”

Your eyes scanned over his strong frame. His hair was wavy, jet black, and down to his shoulders. He had two ram-like horns jutting out from the top of his head. But his eyes… His eyes were the most intriguing thing about him. They were hypnotizing as they glowed a bright orange, flickering like a burning ember. When he held out his hand, you instantly kneeled and kissed it. “Belial was right, you are respectful,” he muttered to himself, almost in awe, still holding your hand. “I admire that... Do you know who I am?”

“No, I’m sorry,” you said softly, shaking your bowed head as you stood up.

He pulled you flush against him, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Hm, I don’t suppose you would,” he hummed. You didn’t dare to breathe. His eyes of wildfire bore into your blackened ones, into your soul. “I am King Asmodeus,” he breathed through barely parted lips as he released your hand to stroke your cheek. “You really are her daughter. You’re… exquisite.” Being this close to someone else, finding yourself in yet another precarious position, your whole body tensed. 

“Thank… you…” you breathed as your tone had an edge of anxiety to it.

He inhaled a sharp breath and instantly let go of you, taking a step backward. “Forgive me. I was unaware of exactly what had brought upon your awakening. The miasma that surrounds you… Defilement. Guilt.” He paused before he smirked at you. “Wrath.” 

You finally broke eye contact as you took a step back yourself. You toyed with the hem of your shirt, avoiding his piercing stare. He inspected your cauldron and ingredients you had strewn across the counter. “Is this your retaliation?”

“It’s either this or I kill him,” you deadpanned.

Asmodeus let out a genuine laugh. “We can’t have that. Not yet. I’m impressed with your work. Truly.”

Your eyes lifted to his again. “You are?”

“Sweetheart, vengeance is what I do. It’s what I teach. I could feel your wrath. It’s practically intoxicating.”

“I… Will I ever be able to control it?” you mumbled shyly.

“Of course. The ghouls take orders from The Infernal Court, like yours truly. We work through them and will appear ourselves when needed. Your truth isn’t something to fear.”

“I don’t fear what I feel. I–”

“I’m not here to talk about your fears,” he interrupted, his tone gentle yet stern. “Do you feel burning in your chest? In your center?” You nodded. “Good. Never lose sight of that. Wrath sparks the fire, but you have the power to control it. Add air if you need the grandeur. Take it away if you don’t. Add water, add earth to stifle it. Take a moment to focus. Feel it.”

You closed your eyes, breathing into the flames inside you. All you wanted to do was scream and tear everything around you asunder. Asmodeus felt what you were feeling and chuckled. “There. Now pull it back, center it. Breathe.” You pictured flames receding, like a film of the spreading of a wildfire in reverse. You imagined calm washing over you as if someone dumped a bucket of water over your head. Your breathing slowed. As you opened your eyes, the King of Hell before you saw the blackness fade. He beamed like a proud father. “See?”

Chewing on your lip, you nodded. You looked over the kitchen and saw the hex you had in progress. Your eyes scanned over the picture on the counter. You struck the match again and ignited the fire. As you looked back at Asmodeus, your eyes filled with darkness again. He tapped his knuckle twice on the counter. “Beautiful. I can’t wait to see this unfold.” He started to turn to walk out of the kitchen before he looked over his shoulder at you. “You might want to check your dark ingredient box again… I think you missed something.” He laughed darkly as he faded into a black mist.

“You okay in there?” Swiss called out, pulling you back into the present reality. 

“Peachy,” you said as you went back to your box of baneful spell ingredients. Right on top was a bag of deadly nightshade. You’ve only ever seen that in Primo’s case of rare herbs. You smiled darkly before snatching it, grabbing a pair of tweezers from the bathroom, and returning to the kitchen. You delicately plucked three flowers and watched as they fell into the oil. As you stirred it again, you focused your intention for each ingredient, then murmured an incantation. 

“May his plots and schemes

Be ruined by his confused mind.

May his impotence make him scream

And his lover's eyes for him turn blind.

Swiftly he suffers this plight

Feeling my pain as his own

This curse is his blight

As he suffers alone.”

You repeated this over and over staring into the cauldron while the hex oil sat over the flame. After about ten minutes, you took it off the heat to let it cool. You lit two black chime candles in front of you and were reminded of the fire that burned inside you. You snatched the photo of Terzo and held it tightly in your hands. As you stared at it, you repeated your spell three more times before you cut a slit in the center of the lemon. Thrice you folded the photo, making sure to fold it away from you, as you thought of nothing but him suffering just like you suffered. To further drive your point home, you hummed “I Hope You Suffer” by AFI to yourself as you placed the photo inside the lemon. A happily malevolent smile flitted across your face. 

You fanned your blaze of wrath as you danced the rusty nails in your fingers. Every instance of hurt, of pain, of humiliation flickered through your memory. With each one, you held a nail in your palm, branding the energy of your detriments into it. The nails pierced through the rind and flesh of the lemon. Bits and pieces of your rage went with it into the fruit. It then went into a black bowl.

Satisfied with your handy work, you poured the oil out of the cauldron into a jar before you doused the lemon with it. Carefully, you placed it in a cupboard that barely saw any use. You left the lemon there to rot.

Your lungs expanded and deflated. Your eyes were gently shut. You sent a torrential downpour over your internal inferno. The wrath had retreated, replaced by a contentedness that, as of late, had almost become unfamiliar. When you opened your eyes, you felt like you did when you did before you stepped into Terzo’s office; you felt like yourself.

Silently, you began to pack away your magick supplies. When you emerged from your bedroom once more, you could feel the apprehension lingering in the air from the watchful ghouls. The soft caress of guilt swept over you when you remembered how you had snapped at them.

They hadn’t left their spots on the couch so you scooted yourself in between them, grabbing each of their hands in yours. Thank you for being here with me. Terzo told me I have to go to his office tomorrow. I– It set me off, you thought to both of them, fearing if you spoke aloud your emotions would betray you.

We understand, Sodo responded, giving your hand a squeeze. It’s a hell of a lot to adjust to.

How did– You controlled your wrath… Did someone visit you? Swiss tilted his head questioningly. 

Yes…You nodded, curling your lips in. You let go of their hands so you could wring yours in your lap nervously. 

Damn, the Infernals really do like you, Swiss tittered.

Wait, no one’s supposed to know. How did you know? Your eyes felt like they were going to bug out of your head from fear of disobeying your orders.

Ghoul thing. We could smell the sulfur. Depending on the visit, they leave traces of it. Since we report to them from time to time, it’s a way for us to know they were around, explained Sodo.

Your body deflated and relaxed as you let out a sigh of relief. Thank Lucifer. The last thing I need is to piss off Hell’s royalty. I don’t know how I would explain a sulfur smell to Copia… Shit, I should let him know I’m awake. Swiss, can you go get him? The ghoul nodded with a smile before he dashed off.

I’m gonna go back to guarding the door. Give you a minute before he gets here. Sodo told you. When he got up, he put a hand on your shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. You placed your hand on his. 

“Thank you,” you said sincerely. 

Once the door shut behind him, you got up to grab your phone from the bed. This time when you unlocked it, you completely ignored the text from your asshole ex and found one from Copia you neglected to see in your fury. 

I’m awake. Barely know what day it is, but I feel okay. Sending Swiss to get you if you fell asleep. Miss you 🥺

After hitting send, you checked on Cannoli, making sure he had enough food and his water bottle was full. Then you ran out of things to distract yourself.

You plopped yourself back on the couch, head leaning against the back of it. Your eyes shut as you felt this gnawing in your gut. This feeling crept up on you, dancing on your skin like maggots on rotten flesh. 

Terzo’s words replayed in your head: “You utter a single syllable of this to Copia and he’s gone.”

How could you look Copia in the eye after what you allowed to happen? You knew Terzo was manipulating you, dangling the threat of your love being sent away like a carrot in front of a donkey. Why didn’t that set you off? Why did your “awakening” (as everyone seems to call it) have to happen after the act? Now you have to lie to Copia. Lie about what happened. What the hell are you even going to tell him if he asked? Time was running out for you to think of something. 

The weight of everything pressed down on you. You could feel the immense pressure on your chest. It wrapped around your head like hundreds of rubber bands. 

With short gasping breaths you stumbled to the bathroom. The light stung your eyes. The sound of the faucet running seemed deafening. Even still, you felt the cold water on your hands, then your face. You let the droplets slide down, not bothering to wipe it off.. You gripped the sink like it was the only thing tethering you to this plane. Slowly, you brought your eyes to see what exactly was staring back at you. Whoever she was, you didn’t recognize her. Again, a shell of your former self. 

That infuriated you. All of this. It was all because of him. You thought you could change him, you thought you had changed him. You thought you were good enough to make him yours. Only yours. If only you had given Copia a chance first. If only you weren’t swept off your feet by illustrious charm. If only you hadn’t been taken advantage of.

Your breaths started to come out in huffs. The longer you stared at your reflection, the more you could feel the fire burning inside of you, but this instance, it was fueled by self-loathing. 

That was the first time you saw it. You saw the black fire ignite and consume your eyes. You watched as your reflection changed in real time. A gasp escaped your lips as you pushed yourself off the sink, scuttling backwards til you hit the wall. Rapidly, you shook your head and blinked as many times as you could while you sunk down to sit on the cold floor. 

The flames died as tears began to fall. Your head fell into your hands that rested on your knees. A few sobs managed to escape, but that was all you would allow yourself. You covered up the cracks and breaks when you were still with Terzo. You could do it again. You could do it for this. 

You could do it for Copia. 

Aggressively, you wiped away your tears. You stood up to see your guarded self staring back at you. Shoulders back and head held high, you returned to the spot you had occupied on the couch. A façade of confidence wasn’t one you could uphold for long. Eyes closed, you just focused on breathing, in and out, until you heard the door open.

“Amore?!” You heard amongst the sound of frantic footsteps. 

Without thinking, you bolted up, letting your feet carry you until you crashed into his arms. He held you there, one hand holding your head against his chest, the other securely around your waist. Your eyes squeezed shut as you fought back another wave of tears. After a few moments, he gently nudged you a half-step back, so he could take a look at you. Your shakey intake of breath, betraying your desired stoicism. 

He ran his hands up your arms until he lightly gripped your shoulders, mismatched eyes assessing every inch of you. You bit the inside of your cheek, desperately trying to keep your composure. Moving his hands to cup your face, he redirected your gaze to his. He stepped forward, closing any remaining space between the two of you. His mouth dropped open like he was about to say something, but the words were lost. His eyes never stopped searching yours. 

“I’m okay,” you said reassuringly, moving your hands up to hold his wrists. He could only pull you into another embrace, still at a loss for words. You wrapped your arms around his waist, giving him a squeeze, before you wriggled out of his hold. “Come on,” you said, pulling him by the hand, “we have a lot to talk about…”

“I don’t… I don’t even know where to begin,” he said as he took a seat next to you on the couch. 

“Did you know? Did you know any of this was a… was a possibility?” You were too drained to beat around the bush. 

“Sì… eh, well, no. I mean, I only… It was only when I saw your birthmark that I suspected…”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” you practically pleaded.

“I never thought anything would come of it so soon. We wanted to be certain before we–”

“I’m sorry, ‘we’?” you asked with an edge of irritation.

“Ah, shit…” he muttered before sucking in a breath through his teeth. “Seestor Imperator. I might have, eh, mentioned it to her…” You could feel the heat rising in you. “Only to see if there was any truth behind it. Really, it’s only ever been like a myth to us. Like… like how the– the Antichrist is to the others.”

You leaned forward, putting your elbows on your knees as you held your head in your hands. Breathe in. Breathe out. You didn’t need to get angry over this. “I don’t want to be the last to know anymore. I can’t.”

“No, no, you won’t be. Primo and Secondo are looking into the next steps. It– It’s going to take some time.” 

You wanted to tell him everything you learned from Swiss, but was it time? Could you even trust him? Should you go about this all in secrecy? 

Copia’s words pulled you from your internal debate. “You’ll have to summon a ghoul. That’s the ritual Secondo is, eh, preparing.”

You let out a sigh of relief, but Copia interpreted it as dread. “And that takes a while to prepare?”

“We’ll probably be ready in a couple of weeks. You’ll have to practice, so nothing goes wrong.”

A brusque laugh slipped. As if any of Hell’s deities would allow anything to go wrong. They’re the ones who needed things to go smoothly more than any person in this whole abbey. You couldn’t tell him that, though. 

“As far as rituals go, you’ll do great. I know it,” he smiled warmly at you, reaching out for you, but the way you abruptly snapped your head to almost glare at him caused his hand to recoil.

“Why? Because I’m the special chosen one now?” you scoffed.

“Che (what)? No… I’ve seen you work magics and rituals of your own, dolcezza. You– You have a talent.” There was something different in the way you were acting. He knew to tread lightly. He cleared his throat. “Speaking of… I think we should set up an altar for Lilith here. Maybe it’ll help you with your… comunicazione with her.” You only nodded, your eyes showed how your mind was someplace else. “Seestor did mention something about visions.”

“What about visions?” you barked, asking almost too quickly.

“There aren't many texts here with information about ascensions of any kind, but there was a common thread of people, such as yourself, having a strong connection with a deity. It’s as if… Well, I think you’ll act as their vessel to help with, eh, whatever they need done here…” You leaned back with a huff as you crossed your arms. Copia’s brows furrowed. Worry creased his face. The last thing he wanted to do right now was upset you further or overwhelm you. “We don’t have to talk about this tonight, amore.”

“Good,” you mumbled. Because I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up… you thought to yourself. “I’m… uh… I’m getting tired again anyway.”

“Then we go to bed, sì?”

You nodded and got up to brush your teeth, avoiding eye contact with your reflection the whole time. Then you crawled into bed and waited for Copia to follow suit. When he did, he wrapped his arms around you. You could only hope he didn’t notice how your body went rigid at his touch, which was something you felt like you didn’t deserve.

“Stellina?” he asked, his voice showcasing his nerves as his pitch went up slightly.

“Hm?”

“I just… Eh, well, I want you to–” he sighed, frustrated by his fear he wouldn’t be able to articulate what he was feeling the right way. “I know I’m nothing special, but I will always protect you. I’m here for you. Always. You’re safe with me. Do not ever forget that, okie dokie?” 

You placed your hand over his that was draped over you, holding it tightly, but you didn’t dare turn to face him. “You are special, cocco (sweetie/your short and sweet play on his name). Sei il mio tutto (you’re my everything).”

He pulled you closer to him as he kissed your head. “Ti amo (I love you).”

You swallowed hard, hoping to swallow the guilt that was bubbling up inside you. “Ti amo anche (I love you too).”

Copia’s breathing soon relaxed as he fell asleep. Sleep wasn’t coming for you anytime soon. There was no way to cease your racing thoughts no matter how hard you tried. You could only lay there, pressing down on your lips that curled around your teeth, as tears silently fell.  

part v | part vii

[elperegrinodedios]

Rivendicando le promesse del Signore per una pellegrina, mia amica, in difficoltà e sofferenza.

=🕊=

Te ruego Padre para que tu puedas sanar a tu hija amada, y te ruego en el nombre de Jesùs. Amèn!

lan ✍️

[gravehags]

i am dragging him into my bed for a cozy snug session. i won’t even mind if he snores. i am currently burrowing under his pellegrina. i live there now.