#|| but also he got framed for the same shit he KNOWS it was blown out of proportion.

[fortrivmph]

'haytham was responsible for the boston massacre he's so evil' l + i'm from boston + biggest pr stunt pre-revolution save for the tea party + 5/400 dead ( yes haytham is playing with human lives to advance his cause he's still willing to do that don't get it twisted ) + british army freaking out and punishing those responsible and sweating over the optics + organised concentrated resistance by the bostonians as a direct result + media circus and trials that tied up british representatives in boston for months. like he did throw people under the bus he couldn't control how many died and that's something he just does as a rule he's fine feeding randos to the meat grinder if it means progressing his agenda. but also the way people clutch their pearls over it like OF COURSE CONNOR HATES HIM HE STARTED A MASSACRE always gives me a little chuckle because i'm like. real massholes know that shit was blown out of proportion. also he sadly cooked with the results.

[w2sology]

can you do a harry dating headcanon pls? thank you!

headcanons are my absolute fave form of writing honestly 🤭

me + you, harry lewis.

summary: what it's like to date harry!

warnings: language, that's about it!

you guys have been together since you were quite young

probably around 16/17

honestly there could be different stories of how you two got together

harry was always outgoing, especially if it was just between you guys

he brought the energy out of you and it made you love him for all he was

having been together for such a long time, you definitely know almost all there is to know about each other

"she doesn't like tulips as much as she likes baby breaths, so maybe get some of those"

"hm, i don't know, harry's not too fond of buttons so maybe not that top"

introducing you to the boys was one of the most nerve racking things for harry

but he knew that if he loved you, then so would they

play fighting. no doubt.

it could start off with something like harry not giving you the tv remote

and from there it's just... full on wwe

but of course harry goes gentle snd trues not to hurt you

harry loves physical contact between you guys

like when you'd both be laying in bed under the sheets, he had to be touching you in some way

whether it was an arm around your body or his head on his chest, he'd be content with whatever

but there are sometimes where harry's insecure about his clinginess

he doesn't want to come off as too clingy or needy, but he wants to literally live in your skin

and you'd always welcome him with open arms, catering to his needs as well as you could

you two love to spoil the other, not even with just gifts, it could be something like affection, date nights, or something harry randomly came up with

having to deal with harry's random bursts of energy

also having to deal with broken chairs, controllers, and a whole lot more thanks to your boyfriend's game rage

having your own groupchat with the sidewomen and spilling all the goss and whatnot

harry wanting in on the goss

harry becoming one of the girls in the sense that he's always ready for whatever gossip you have for him

forehead kisses !!!! literally yours and harry's brand at this point

you hurt yourself? here have a forehead kiss. you had a good day at work? forehead kiss. you're looking pretty today? forehead kiss.

harry becoming visibly flustered whenever one of the boys mention you on camera

he goes all shy and smiley and shit

and everyone is in love with you two, they see how happy you make each other and honestly that's the most important thing

begging harry to get a pet but also having to school him on how to take care of one properly

baby feverrrrrrrr goes through the roof when you see how he is with olive

it's enough to make anyone's ovaries burst

"look at how tiny her feet are!─── why're you looking at me like that"

"we should have a baby"

"Y/N?????"

going on the most random dates

one week could be the movies the next could be go karting

going on girls trips with his sister, leaving harry feeling betrayed and sad (he hates sharing you)

both of you are the duo that everyone hates to look after when drunk, you're either giggly or obnoxious, but the good type of obnoxious

"they're on their what, seventh drink?"

"ethan, they've been at it all night, that's not drink number seven"

"for fuck's sake, someone cut them off ─── harry! get down from the fucking counter???"

complimenting him no matter what and he never fails to blush

literally just having a good time. you're relationship is so fun.

him using you as a sofa/bed and literally flopping down on you

you never complaining too much because you do the same

bickering non stop but knowing where the line is so it doesn't become a full blown argument

wearing his clothes all. the. time.

"babe, have you seen my beige hoodie─── of course you have it"

accidentally being in the frame of his streams sometimes and his chat going wild

hugs from behind !!!! harry always snakes his arms around your stomach and pulls your back into his chest, he finds those times of hugs much nicer

hand holding is a must, even if just your pinkies are holding on to each other

harry being a little shit and teasing you all the time (both in that way and not in that way)

he has a folder in his camera roll full of pictures of you

never failing to express to each other how much you love each other

[smoft-demons]

MC gets turned into a tiefling

I have had an idea!! Imagine,, MC gets into some magic bs, touches a cursed book Satan left lying around or trips over Solomon mid-experiment or some shit, and gets turned (temporarily) into a D&D tiefling. (Not using strict D&D rules, this is mostly just vibes. This setting doesn’t super work with D&D, as we all probably know)

You’ve got horns and a tail! Your teeth are sharper, your pupils are slit like Levi’s, you’ve got some sharpened senses and boosted magic and fire resistance. Maybe you even automatically know infernal now.

All that’s very cool, but it wouldn’t take long for the dumb baby tief shit to start happening. You’re a human, you’re not used to being shaped like this!

I’m imagining Lucifer, going just a bit broody over their human. Lucifer’s hand shooting out to catch your horn before it slams into a door frame. Lucifer sighing exasperatedly, suppressing laughter with all his willpower as you get tangled up in fabric as you try to put a hoodie on, because you’re not used to making normal clothes work properly with horns. He’d help you sort it out. He’d fuss over you like the mother hen he’d never admit he is.

Then Mammon, outright laughing at you when you step on your own tail or close a door on it—laughing at you, but still not hesitating for a moment to help. Tending to your injuries, checking you over and reassuring you without missing a beat. Being the very good (and a bit annoying) big brother that he is. He’s had lots of practise at this—5 little brothers worth of practice. Your tail lashing in agitation if Mammon doesn’t quit making fun of you, and Mammon softening, because that’s such baby Satan behaviour and he can’t help but melt about it.

Your body language mirroring Levi’s even more than before, and Levi sometimes having to turn around and stuff his fist into his mouth so he doesn’t scream about how endearing that is. Levi, adjusting the way your headphones sit on your head to accommodate for the new horns. You and Levi watching an anime together, both your pupils blown wide open in excitement. Your tails are swooshing happily in sync. (Beel was coming to collect you two for a snack run, but he just HAS to film this)

Beel, giving you satisfying stuff to bite, listening patiently as you screw up speaking in a new way, because your teeth are suddenly longer and sharper. He’d be reassuring and non-judgemental about that learning curve. About all the times you’d inevitably end up cutting your own lip or tongue on those new sharp teeth, too. It’s mildly embarrassing, but he would remain chill. He’s nice like that.

Asmo would help you maintain your new horns. He’d have all the products needed to keep them as pretty as possible. He’d want to take over styling your hair (because you can’t do it the same as usual now! There are horns in the way!) at first, out of both novelty and caring for you, and then he’d teach you how to do it yourself. He’ll still wanna do it for you sometimes though. You know Asmo, he can’t resist spoiling his MC. He’d be one to fuss over minor injuries… but he’d ALSO be one to want to test your new (slightly) increased resilience with products that were just a little too strong for you as a human. Like, a face mask with fire salamander ingredients that WOULD burn a human’s skin, but not a demon’s. Someone would have to step in to remind him that there still might be risk. Tiefling =/= high demon lord!

I imagine Asmo probably gossips with Mammon and Satan in infernal, about whoever they don’t like from RAD or wherever. I imagine the twins probably use infernal together too, just for minor references and things that are not worth the time to explain to you. I imagine they’d all be in the habit of using it for things they don’t want you to hear, like if they’re planing to surprise you. Imagine the surprise for all of them when they comment among themselves in infernal and suddenly their human (who is shaped like a tiefling) replies!

Satan would, upon learning that you know infernal now, make you read every untranslated story he has that he thinks you’d like. He’d get excited about experimenting with your boosted magic. He’d understand when you lose control, like if you hurt yourself while cooking and then instinctively react with hellish rebuke, setting the whole stove on fire by accident. He gets it! Imagine you and him doing the synchronized tail swoosh too.

Belphie would put pool noodles on your horns like a baby goat so they don’t accidentally stab him. Again. Belphie would tangle his tail up with yours, maybe to be annoying, maybe to be affectionate. Who knows with him tbh, it’s probably both. Belphie would be one to make fun of you for getting stuff tangled up in your horns, or stepping on your own tail, dumb baby tief stuff like that. He’s used to being the weakest, babiest demon in that house! But, since it’s you, he’d probably find some enjoyment in getting to baby (and make fun of) a younger, smaller demon (or rather, human newly shaped like a demon) in the family. Just because it’s you, I imagine he’d enjoy taking the role of older sibling for once. Just because it’s you.

(Should I make a proper headcanons/oneshot post about this?)

[theexit392]

They knew. They knew...

Potty training works. I'm potty trained. Probably completed that phase around 3. By then I knew poop went in the potty and I was able to demonstrate that skill to great praise from my parents.

Also me at 3.

Pooping in my pants and hiding the evidence.

That was the next phase of development. Getting more adept at hiding the evidence. Life is nothing but practice. You do any one thing enough, chances are you'll get better at it. When you're first getting started though, whether you realize it or not....you suck. And if you have the life experience of a 3 year old, you probably really really suck. So, in retrospect, those first few years of having an alternate universe that the potty trained me did not exist in, I was likely not as good as I thought I was at hiding the evidence.

If i remember correctly, I'd just keep stashing the same pair of dirty underwear in the bottom of my hamper thinking Mom would never get to the bottom. I remember them too. Little red briefs. Big boy pants! Ha! Big turd pants was more like it. Every once in a while though. Those things would end up clean and folded in my dresser. I never got in trouble for messed up underpants so I thought she must not have noticed the stains. Young me turds were so well put together though there wasn't a grand crust of residue, even after several uses. I would describe the aftermath as "a shadow of a turd"

unrelated side note: Boy do I miss young innards! My young innards made really good, large, firm poops. I loved those. After 40 some years of working tirelessly day in, day out, they just...don't...work...the same. If you're over 40 then you know what I'm talking about....anyway.

Fast forward a few years. I'm 6 or 7 and find myself in a chair face to face with a psychologist. As I was at 6, I am today. Always willing to sit around and shoot the shit. I was a happy kid. Always bright and outgoing. So while the Doc was prowling around in my brain looking for some darkness, I doubt he could find much. I'm sure he found me open, honest, witty, and for lack of a better term: normal. Then at the end of our conversation he asked. Are you sure there isn't anything else you want to talk about? "No" i said.

"You're sure there is nothing else bothering you?" he probed again.

"No" I said again brightly and definitively.

Any shrink worth the framed diploma hung on his wood paneled office wall could see straight through my happy-go-lucky facade in that moment.

Panic.

Ooooohhh I knew what he's getting at. Shit! Now I know why I'm really here!!! Gaaaaaahhh! I know why my mother scheduled this little, till now innocuous chat! F***! (even my 6 year old head knew that was a bad word)

While my spectacled cherub face smiled sheepishly, my head was in full blown short circuit mode. Manically coming to grips with the notion that my little extra curricular activities may very well have been found out.

He's pooping his pants on purpose. What is wrong with my son?

There must be some reason he's acting out like this? Something he's hiding?

No ma, all I'm hiding is dirty underwear. And believe you me...I'm about to get a lot f****** better at hiding it.

What is kinda nuts to me is that no one ever asked me point blank about it, at any time in my life! Not even the psychologists. Of which there were many up through my teen years. Some would ask the same question "Is there anything else you want to talk about?" when they would arrive at the conclusion of the session with no indication that the pants pooping subject was going to come up in natural (if you can call probing natural) conversation.

My mom would make a comment about the condition about my underpants from time to time but she never directly addressed the issue either. Maybe she didn't want to know the answer? Or maybe she eventually came to understand that her son was a happy kid that enjoyed his life. Loved his music and cars and guitars. Loved his parents and his sister. Loved his friends.

It just so happens he also loved pooping his pants.

Privately.

As I got more skilled at hiding the evidence, handwashing and drying pre-bottom-of-the-hamper toss. I'm sure they all thought maybe I'd outgrown it. That's what kids do. They outgrow their mischief.

Nope. I'm now really really good at doing laundry.

Hope you enjoyed this time in the wayback machine! Off to do some handwashing....

[possessionisamyth]

Let's talk about Jill! I love her. You love her. She has ProblemsTM, and no one talks about her enough.

Jill is the most skilled S.T.A.R.S member, and the most adept at dealing with bioweapons post RE3. Sure, Chris got his ass beat by Wesker and killed Alexia in Code Veronica(a kill Claire should've gotten), but they still don't compare to all the various fucked up forms of Nemesis who Jill had to kill again, and again, and again mostly by herself.

From that point on it's Chris and Jill working together if you want to count the manga segments, but let's touch on her character beats. Like her insomnia. Or her untreated PTSD. Or her depression. Actually, I'm going to tackle the most fun thing about Jill when it comes to handling her various brain problems and that's how she deals with them.

She gets really mad.

Why is this fun? Why is this different? Why is this valuable? Well, the simple answer is a lot of women characters aren't allowed to show ugly, visceral anger when they're given mental illnesses. If they do, it's to the villainize them. The same way goes for men not being allowed to cry more than a single tear down the cheek when they're depicted as sad. If they do more than this, they're considered weak and feminine which is also a way to villainize anything deemed feminine, but we are staying on topic.

Jill gets pissed off when she's challenged, and it's great and refreshing because tools in the narrative justify her anger. She slaps Carlos in the face when he implies they should kill themselves instead of getting eaten by zombies or blown up by the bomb because how dare he suggest giving up after all the effort they put into surviving? It's on sight whenever she so much as sees Nicholai in the novelization. She's snippy, and annoyed, and cussing in RE3 Remake and none of it is framed as cutesy. She's fucking tired, and she's mad about all this shit blowing up in her face all the fucking time! That's why people were calling her mean in the remake, and it's like! Good! I'm glad she's angry and "mean" in one of the worst times of her life!

It's a little sad to see some of that frustration drop in Revelations I, but god Wesker capitalized on her blinding rage when he put her under mind control. Still an extremely stupid arc to give her. Will never forgive them for it. But my girl was so fucking mad, and you know what they didn't do when Chris saved her? She wasn't crying or sobbing or weeping. The anger was still there, but as much as the mind was willing, the body was too weak to employ it. She pushed Chris away to yell at him to save the world. If she was just a modicum stronger it might've been a harder shove or a slap, but that's all she could do.

And we get a mere snippet of this anger in Death Island when she's in the shooting range talking to Chris. The truth is she's not handling being back on the field well at all, but she built her entire life up to S.T.A.R.S and past that proving that she's not weak to other people. It's too hard of a habit to break because it's a defense mechanism. To Jill, being viewed as weak even for a moment will lead to being taken advantage of, and she never wants to be taken advantage of. She needs to have control over her life and herself, doubly so after surviving Wesker. So she's going to keep that control even if it means accidentally biting the hands that reach out to her to help. This kind of depiction is usually only given to men, and Jill gets it. She gets it! And she's not evil for it! And it's so so so soo good when it's employed well! (Unfortunately this is also why in newer iterations they keep trying to tone this down by making her appear sexier, because she's too intimidating otherwise. Yes, it's just as bullshit as it sounds!)

Unlike Claire, Rebecca, and even Ada who can't show more than two emotions, Jill can shoot and kill and stab and tear and destroy with all the anger she wants, and she can still get a nice date if she wanted before the rest of the RE cast! This anger is allowed to be hers without it being framed as masculine with that "one of the boys/i have three brothers" nonsense and without vilifying her womanhood for daring to express her anger as ugly as anger can be! And that's why she's great, and I love her, and someone for the love of god please get her into some decent hands for whatever she's in next.

[moraloreldeservedbetter]

I'm sorta(?) obsessed with Angela as a character. i mean, she basically stands at the core of all the drama of the series. I love how her figure is looming above Clay's every action, as if before anything he looks into her eyes first and then chooses the worst course of action simply bc he believes he doesn't deserve anything better. Its amazing how large of a figure she was in his life and how much she shaped him as a person and how detrimental the trauma from her death is for him. i love how she is basically someone who, figuratively speaking, «died for his sins» first. in a certain way she is more of Jesus to him, that Jesus himself – simply bc he saw her die for him in front of him, he heard her say that, that's much more impactful for a child that what some book says. besides, she is basically his Creator too, so does it mean that he killed his God(ess).

also, aside from her influence on Clay's life, i love the snippets of her own character that we get from Passing. i have a feeling that she is more of that depressed 50s housewife archetype than bloberta. she was an unconventional, irresponsible mother but hey i respect that, she had her priorities set. she loved horse riding and amusement parks. also, her and Arthur are shown to be high school sweethearts turned sour overtime and i love that depiction even if it's just a few frames. I wonder when she felt that probably he wasn't the right one after all. How lonely she actually felt before Clay was born? Did she felt trapped? Did she felt like her life was a closed circle of hose chores now?Maybe she too didn't have that much of a motherly instincts towards her stillborn children, only after giving birth to a living child she felt something. I feel like if she hadn't died, her relationship with Clay would have turned very emotionally codependent. He would've become a different flavour of fucked up then, but still.

Also, i find that Clay's oedipal dream sequence in nesting kinda distasteful, thought. im a psychology major, so perhaps it maybe be due to my own professional deformation, but I've noticed that despite having little to no empirical proof, Oedipus complex is still relatively alive in the mainstream. And i strongly suspect that it's because it's a socially acceptable way of joking about incest. so to me it felt bit disrespectful to Angela and her struggles and her relationship with Clay. Its a weird way of satirising the source of his behaviour, bc no one else gets the same treatment. there's no implications that Orel is oedipal or Joe, or anyone else with known mothers. It's just Clay and Angela. Plot-wise, i understand that it was sorta necessary to establish how Censodoll got an upper hand on him later. But i still believe that that part could have been done a thousand other ways and still be way better that shit like Oedipus. I feel like it cheapens and waters down their dynamics a lot. I also don't find trauma from parental issues that ironic or funny tbh. (and it becomes worse if you know that in Freud's concept, a poorly resolved Oedipus may lead to homosexuality among other things – and Clay somehow gets fucking both??? overbearing mother and her abrupt death before complex gets resolved so he's sorta stuck?? so, what does it mean for him? that he subconsciously chose Bloberta and Francis as Angela's substitute(lame)? that he's also attracted to men bc of identification with mother(homophobic stereotype)?) i know it's probably not that deep and show writers likely threw that joke in there without thinking about all the nuances that might appear. but it lined up with Clay's story pretty poorly tbh. it's me who's overanalising this shit, it honestly keeps me up at night.

I WAS LEGIT HOPING FOR AN ANGELA PUPPINGTON POST

I DIDN'T EXPECT A FULL BLOWN ESSAY

THANKS NONNY!!/GEN

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR rambles PT

PART. 3 BABY OF BEING CRINGY ABOUT MY OWN AU

LET'S GOOOOOO (Big send of too this chapter, holy shit)

Lol so like: One thing I didn't wanna do was suppress how much Zelda meant to Shadow Link's character arc for the sake of Vidow "Working".

Shadow Link does love Zelda FYI our mans is Bi. Idk if you noticed...but this whole comic is just polycule central there's no shipping wars, you can ship everyone basically. X'D

Zelda was a huge role in Shadow Link's character development to being a good boy, so it's only natural he's attached to her. (This will also be shown in the next chapter...Hehe)

Also the way his emotions around Vio are so charged that the best way he can put it to words is Vio is "Really cool" is like, so dumbly sweet. Bro can't properly even word how much he adores this man.

Shadow Link has made it no secret he wants to be buds with Vio for reals this time, and he's also 100% not interested in helping Gannon. So...There really ISN'T a reason Vio and him should have the same issues Vio was worried about. Thus, he tries to sooth Vio's fears.

*cough cough cough* gay. Shadow Link's so anxious about asking.

Lol so I got a "Writing rule" for Vio...He ain't gonna cry till I crack him completely like an egg. X'D He will get very close tho: Like this moment.

The way I put blush on the nose area specifically indicates someone's like, close to crying or is crying. I just like this face particularly because there's so much shit going on in that head of his.

The start of the hug is so damn awkward (Intentionally so)

These panels mean so much to meeeeeeee-

Everything about em

The hug, Vio's so close his face is squished (He's so adorable.)

Shadow Link doesn't immediately hug him back he's stunned.

Hehehehe. Vidow go brrrrr..

This entire page is just: PAIN.

Shadow breaks the hug to show him the book.

The wording leaves it so ya can't help but think he hoped the introducing of their friendship would change Vio's mind about being Link again...That his words earlier were just mad ramblings and not how he actually felt. But with a clear head Vio verbally says he still wants to be Link again.

Lmao bro tries not to crack again aaaaand fails.

The book is one about healing magic...What kinds are in there I wonder. ;) A refrence...to a past Selda game mayhaps?~

Also this frame of Shadow Link full blown ugly crying while pretending to be fine is so hilarious to me idk if it comes off as sad or funny but it's kinda both to me. X'D

Mans is crying for him and Vio at this point.

Vio putting the book down in favor of comforting Shadow Link is just kinda one of those things that like, if he had ignored Shadow Link the reader would have noticed, but him being like, decent is smth that isn't nearly as "noticeable" (Like, ya typically notice a character being shitty WAY MORE than you notice all the subtle things they do that are just, kind.)

Also Shadow still wants to be helpful even though he's like, sobbing his eyes out. X'D

He also tries to hide from Vio lmao. Vio saw the water works bro.

Quite a few things:

Shadow's still toxic, just a little. X'D He WANTS Vio around, he misses him like crazy and does not want him to leave, AT ALL. This is very obvious lmao.

But he's also at the point where he knows he can do better than just screaming and throwing tantrums like he did as a kid. But his true feelings about how betrayed he feels Vio still wants to be Link are STILL THERE. Even if he chooses to try and hide them.

Also funny detail: Vio blushing was a lowkey gag because of the whole "They're both attracted to red flags" joke.

You could also take it as him being scared shitless, which he IS.

While he can't take back snapping at Vio, he certainly realizes his mistake very quickly and apologizes. So that's SOMETHING at least. (Considering the type of person he was before, a relapse or two is expected lmao.) I think him still having a certain level of anger management issues makes his character overall more interesting.

I like to think the only reason Vio gave him any patience for that, was because Shadow Link has been nothing but patient and there for him all night and he knows Shadow is emotional as fuck.

As Vio gave him shit for the fight with Blue earlier showed, Vio doesn't tolerate Shadow's crap when he's just being a violent shithead.

Hahaha. Remember when Link outright stated Vio wanted to be Vio and not Link. :) Link sure is a way more reliable narrator than...idk...The guy who lies...

*Whispers gently into your ear* Vio's not being very truthful here...

Notice: He only. ONLY brings up "Logical" reason...not his actual FEELINGS on the matter... He SAYS "I don't want to be Vio"

WHY. WHY!? TELL US WHY VIO!!!

He does have a reason but he's not tellin' lmao.

So, in the book it's not really...SPECIFIED where Shadow Link came from? Like I think all it says is "Gannon drew him out of the dark mirror"

...THAT IS SO UP FOR INTERPRETATION AND BRINGS UP SO MANY QUESTIONS:

Did he have a life in the dark world and was just, TOLD to do Gannon's bidding? His line of "I'm your living reflection in the dark world" MAYBE supports this idea...??? KINDA?

But my issue with that is: Shadow Link gives NO indication he has had a past in the dark world, like...at all. Nothing. No mention of family (Which...Reasonably wouldn't he have a dark version of Link's father???) He's the ONLY PERSON who's implied to be FROM the dark world. Also...The dark mirror isn't REALLY implied to be a PORTAL... The seal on Vaati and his demons was, but Shadow Link wasn't freed from that, Gannon "Drew him from the dark mirror" to release Vaati...So uh...HMMMM His also distinct lack of his OWN name kinda makes me go ???? Like...His NAME is Shadow Link...Like that's not a nickname. That's his NAME. (Like this just weirds me out because of a cannon "Reflection" of Link: in Ravio. Who like...HAS HIS OWN NAME???? ik Ravio isn't from the "Dark world", he's from Lowrule, but point still stands this is odd.)

Suffice to say, there's just not enough info here to draw a conclusion for me? So I gotta make shit up. X'D Shadow Link was created out of Link's Shadow by Gannon in FSR. This is also the reason he resembles a Gerudo male. Cause Gannon said "Mm yes, my evil Link sona will have my heritage. UwU"

Shadow link realizing he almost made Vio cry is so funny to me.

Vio looks so fucking pathetic there. lmfao.

Shadow's words only hit again like Link has stated: Shadow knows Vio

Whether intentionally or not: what he says hits Vio like a ton of bolders.

He's very hesitant to keep talking though because he doesn't want to hurt Vio either.

It's like, he's AWARE he's telling Vio this shit because he WANTS him to stay, but you also can't deny Shadow's at least CORRECT in a lot of his statements. How far should he push that though? Hmm.

His "Oh my god you're an idiot" face is hilarious. Shadow's like "You still don't get what I'm laying down dude??? REALLY!?"

*Explodes*

Lmao. That panel before they kiss is basically my favorite in the entire comic rn. X'D

Shadow pulling away and squishing Vio's face is also a favorite. Vio's just cute and squishable.

Vio stating the obvious: That his mental breakdown wasn't Shadow's fault. (Wasn't really anybody's fault it was inevitable, especially with the curse/Dark Link active)

Lmao. Vio's kinda dumb as bricks sometimes too. X'D

Shadow Link's fucking deadpan stare while Vio rants is so hilarious to me. Also the direct quoting of Vio instead of paraphrasing making his statement sound even more stupid.

Also fun dialogue thing: You'll notice the characters stutter or like, pause weirdly, Because I like writing dialogue a little more realistic. Like Shadow Starts off as "I-was" instead of like "W-was" like he thought of saying smth completely different at first or his mouth moved before his brain did. X'D

Their banter is fun, Vio's his sassy self. Shadow giving him all the kisses we desired...

Okay ngl this page hurts me X'D Like. Ouch. All of it hurts.

Because of how Link kinda abandoned Shadow Link (Even though he was always there) Shadow is OBVIOUSLY very hesitant to let go. It's super obvious Vio doesn't wanna let go either.

Also Vio kissing him back surprises Shadow. X'D He's still bamboozled Vio is receptive to his affection oof... (Would like to show him getting more comfy with it as the comic goes on like "Holy shit, nah he's not playing around with me he fr-")

They mean so much to each other. QuQ

Okay to make you laugh in these very serious panels: Because Shadow's floating Vio's standing on his tip toes.

On that note, can't wait to see yall for the next chapter, whenever I get around to it. X'D

[gaiahypothesims]

Get to Know Me- Sims Style

Thank you for tagging me @treason-and-plot

What’s your favorite Sims death?

Ugh man, I don't know. I don't let mine die a lot, but they do tend to die from random stupid things. Meteor death, while I was making scenes. Birthday cake fire/death from a gameplay.

Alpha CC or MaxisMatch?

Alpha. I like MM for TS4, but not so much for TS3.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

I haven't had to until recently. Laken ate a whole bunch of pie, autonomously!!! and then the next thing I knew he was all blown up and waddling around. The rest of them seem to have kept themselves in order. Its no good when taking pics of a scene and suddenly someone looks waayyyy different. Fucking Laken.

Do you move objects?

Oh absolutely. I don't think my game likes it. But its a necessary evil.

Favourite Mod?

All of NRAAS, and also all the new toddler interactions from MTS. Skins are a must for me, same with eyes. I don't like dead eyes.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

TS3- Generations or Seasons? I think. I had TS2 previously, but that was a lifetime ago and I don't remember what I did with that.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing

Live like aLIVE. What the heck man.

Who’s your favourite sim that you’ve made?

Oh lord. I have so many. I'll be the most apparent and say Jonah. Because he's just a whole legacy.

Have you made a simself?

Oh yeah. Just one though. Because I wanted to see if she'd get up to some shit. On brand as always, she does nothing. Just shows up here and there. Goes to work, goes home. No drama. Sigh. Lame old thing.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

Oh man.. I don't know. Black? I usually change them. The brown is too green, the reds too orange... blonde too yellow.

Favorite EA hair?

Good question. Maybe this one? I don't use EA hairs for the most part. Jared got a makeover and doesn't use this one anymore, but it was one I've used before. There are some other ones that are decent but I don't have images.

Favorite life stage?

Young Adult, just because it encompasses a pretty huge frame of life. You can make them look 18 or 35+ in the same stage.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I like building things, I just suck at it. I love the gameplay, but I also love making up a story as I go. So while I am mostly a story teller here, I do let gameplay dictate a lot of what goes on. High free will is always on.

Are you a CC creator?

In a way. I do have CC out there, but nothing fancy. Just make up and some paintings. I share a lot of my sims because I like making them.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

I would say that there are some older sim story tellers and such that have kept me going. There are ones that I think about a lot and would 100% credit me for keeping on, even when things aren't the same as they were before. I do it for you!

Do you have any sims merch?

Yeah for sure. Any dildo out there that you fancy is directly moulded after Jonah's dick. At least he'd say so.

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

HAH. I can't even imagine the torture of sitting through me 'playing'.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I really used to be gameplay only. But In my mind I made up stories and dialogue as it happened and of course laughed at my own jokes and their antics. It wasn't until after TS4 came out and I really went hunting for stories that I started my own, not in TS4 because I couldnt "connect" with it.

What’s your origin id?

I don't know. I do have TS4, but I don't play it. I ended up having TS3, GEN, Seasons, ITF on there.... but then I re-bought it all on Steam way back because Origin is so shifty.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Oh man, so many and so niche. But generally Around the Sims is so solid and still converting and making things for TS3. They are the only person I've spent real $$ on.

How long have you had simblr?

I don't know. 6-7 years? Maybe more. I'm sure I could look it up, but... that would make me look back on my life.

How do you edit your pictures?

I used to take reg screens and then run them through Adobe Lightroom. But then I thought I would try gshade-reshade, hated it, then tried it again. I still don't love it, but it cuts down on editing time which means I can actually share/write whatnot. So I'm there now. Reshade.

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

I love ITF... because its just... out there and every so often I love me some sci-fi. With that said I think the game isn't complete without Seasons and Generations. I'll be honest and say that I haven't explored the game to the fullest. I wish it would be "remastered" and more current to todays systems. It would be a whole ass banger if it could actually play on the system I have right now.

***I'm not nominating anyone because I'm so late to the game. Life is wild and crazy and I feel lucky that anyone remembers I'm still here. I love you all, and appreciate all the hearts and comments. I know I'm not as consistent or interactive as I used to be. Life has just... decided to make me work for it.

[homogremlin]

I have no motivation to write but I also like lowkey feel like I live in a Wattpad fanfiction sometimes and my relationship provides good writing prompts so ig I'm sharing them in case anyone wants them

Also just looking for an excuse to talk about this shit because only one person outside of our school friend group knows so like who am I to talk to?

-for around a week and a half, Sun wore lipstick every day and then kissed Star and I on our faces. We planned a retaliation, which Star spilled the beans on bc I was late to school. I actually did write a oneshot on this one, but I felt like sharing

-Sun steals waterbottles. It's just a thing. When they steal mine, I have to pay to get it back in kisses. Apparently my water tastes better so it gets stolen a lot lol

-the other day, my dad drove Star home from a school dance and when we dropped them off I had this oh shit moment where I realized that they were just in our CAR and yet my dad doesn't know that we spent the whole night holding hands and kissing and flirting for god's sake, he doesn't even know I'm dating anyone. He doesn't know that I have a cheesy love note written on fucking origami in my backpack. reality check lol

-Star asks me while we're playing a game at a sleepover with ALL OUR FRIENDS, WHILE STAR'S MOM WAS AWAKE (although she was in another room, and Sun was sleeping) what the weirdest thing I was into was. I answered honestly. Any of the sus shit Sun does. ANY of it. the crowd goes wild. They had the same answer tho so...

(Update bc I remembered something)

-So Sun and I had been dating for ~5 months, we got together in April and it was august. So before I started dating Sun and honestly until after then, I had a crush on Star. Star liked me back. In a similar time frame. They didn't make a move partially bc they knew Sun liked me but they didn't think I liked them back. So it's august, we were at a sleepover and they spilled the beans in a game of truth or dare. "I used to have a crush on homogremlin". I share that I liked them at like, the same time. We all laugh. Also in that night: Sun and I came to an unspoken agreement ig? that we were gonna flirt with Star. Bc like we liked them. Star is oblivious. They thought we were joking. We had another sleepover a few weeks later. We share that we do indeed mean the flirting seriously. Their mind was blown. When I say Sun was literally. Calling them princess. And picking them up and putting them in their lap. While I was actively helping with this. And they thought they were THIRD WHEELING (my partner is a lil dumb but we love them for it)

(Second update this happened today)

-my mom took Star and I to the mall, we saw something glittery and my mom said “princess glitter sparkles” but paused between princess and glitter sparkles and Sun and I call Star princess and she whipped her head around to respond. My mom did not notice

[missmilkie]

Four Star High

Part One

(Not my art)

Note: This is something I came up with a while back. I’ve got some OCs in here and it’s an AU, so a lot of characters are going to be ooc and it doesn’t follow the canonical timeline. Also I’m going to change some ships as well as some other things about the characters because ✨creative freedom✨

2862 words

“Time to get up, kids!” Gine called from the bottom of the stairs. Her short and petite figure stood clad in a magenta button up with the sleeves rolled up and dark wash mom jeans, holding a spatula. Her face was very soft compared to her husband’s. Her black hair was blown out, framing her face and she wore light makeup.

Raditz shot up and swung his feet off his bed, grabbing his pre-picked clothes from his dark wooden dresser, and strode to the bathroom. The shower was running within minutes. As the oldest, he’d be damned if he let his siblings get the bathroom before him. Raditz put a lot of effort into his appearance.

He often wore carefully styled layers, corduroy pants, and gold jewelry. Raditz wore a lot of warmer neutrals and liked trendy designs. He had long hair that he often pulled back into a ponytail, leaving some hair out to frame his face. He had the exact same face shape of his father as well as his eyes.

Turles slammed his hand down to blast some hard rock music from his boombox. Dragging himself from his messy bed, he threw on a band tee from his floor. After some digging, he found a pair of ripped straight leg jeans. Turles shoved his feet into his dingy black converse and smudged some pencil eyeliner on his eyelids.

Turles was going through some teenage angst and rebellion. He smoked a lot of weed with his friends, and played in a band. They were definitely a grunge rock band. He played bass and wrote some songs. His songs were often sad or angry, written in the heat of his emotions.

“Turles, turn that shit down!” Bardock barked from the sink while washing dishes. It was a wonder that his large calloused hands didn’t shatter the dishes. His muscle bound figure towered over the sink nonetheless.

Kakarot rolled out of bed at the sound of Turles’s music. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he shuffled over to his closet. His face was soft like Gine’s and near identical to Turles’s save for his eyes. Kakarot had Gine’s eyes while Turles had Bardock’s. Otherwise they both have Gine’s face.

A simple blue t-shirt, jeans, and his orange and navy accented letterman jacket seemed good enough to him. Kakarot wasn’t too concerned about his looks. He opted for comfort over style, though he wasn’t completely without taste.

Yucca flicked through her closet in deep thought. Yucca was nearly the spitting image of her mother. She had all of Gine’s facial features except for her face shape. Yucca was also much taller than her mother, but just as slim if not slimmer.

Humming to herself, she snatched a green cropped tank top with navy blue borders. A pair of baggy jeans followed with high tops close behind. She found her brush and dry shampoo, making quick work of her hair. Yucca did minimal makeup as she never did much. She’d have to wipe it off before soccer practice anyways.

Starting with Kakarot, each kid made their way downstairs to the table. Gine had made a large breakfast for them. Bardock and Gine had already eaten half of their food by the time everyone was seated.

“So what do you all have going on today?” Their mother asked.

“The band wants to go to Bell’s after school, so I probably won’t be home until 9.” Turles shrugged.

“Remember to be careful, and no funny business.” Bardock looked him in the eyes.

“I know, dad.”

“Bulma’s taking Kakarot and I to Skate City after dinner.” Yucca chimed in.

“Make sure you both do your homework before she gets here, or else you can’t go.” Gine warned.

“Yes, mom.” Kakarot nodded furiously.

“I have a date tonight.” Raditz puffed out his chest. “Violet from the cheer squad.”

“Be back by 10.” Bardock sighed deeply. “And if you’re gonna fuck her, please use protection. Your mother and I have enough going on with just the four of you.”After breakfast, the four teenagers piled into Raditz’s car and he drove off to school. They immediately split off once the car was parked. Yucca and Kakarot had caught up with Chi Chi, Bulma, and Krillin outside of the school. Turles went to Sherry’s car and joined the session. Raditz stayed in the car, waiting for Violet. He was parked far enough away that no teachers would catch them making out.

“So I heard that we’re getting a new student today.” Bulma walked backwards as she talked to the group. Her turquoise hair bounced in its high ponytail, her bangs nearly reaching her round blue eyes.

“A dude or a chick?” Krillin questioned. He stood at about 5’ even and had a buzz cut.

“A guy, I think.”

“Oh, which grade?” Yucca raised her brows.

“I believe he's a freshman like you."

“Do you think he’ll go out for football?” Krillin pondered.

“That’d be great!” Kakarot grinned wildly.

“Of course you’re only excited because of sports.” Chi Chi rolled her eyes. She was petite with the straightest black hair and a resting bitch face.

Bulma could only do her best to keep her feelings of disgust off her face.

Yucca left the group to go to her first period, the remaining trio making their way to their own. She sat in her seat just before the bell rang.

“Good morning, class. Today we have a new student joining us.” The teacher motioned to the door. In walked an insanely tall green skinned male. He had antennae, pointy ears, and no eyebrows.

“My name is Piccolo."

The class responded with half assed greetings.

“Piccolo, why don’t you sit in that empty seat next to Yucca.” The teacher motioned towards her. “Yucca, raise your hand for him.”

Yucca lifted her forearm from the table. Piccolo locked eyes with her, sending shivers down her spine. Despite this, Yucca held a friendly smile.

Piccolo made his way over to the spot and set his belongings down before taking his seat. Without skipping a beat, the teacher began with the lesson.

Yucca couldn't help but to glance at him every so often. He was the spitting image of a past enemy her father had faced. Throughout the entire class, he didn't say a word and looked like he was actually paying attention. His focus was inhuman.

Not catching a word the teacher said, Yucca continued her observation. He wasn’t King Piccolo, but he had to be related to him. Too many questions filled Yucca’s head to the brim. She needed to talk to Kakarot.

At lunch, Yucca found the rest of the group relatively easily. Freshmen and sophomores had the same lunch time while juniors and seniors ate together. She plopped down with her loaded tray.

“You should’ve seen the new guy in my class.”

“What’s he like?” Kakarot cocked his head.

“Super scary! He looks just like King Piccolo!”

“Is he that guy standing in the corner over there?” Bulma jabbed her thumb in the direction of Piccolo himself. He was in fact standing in a corner, arms crossed and eyes closed.

“Who’s that?” Chi Chi pondered aloud.

“King Piccolo tried to take over the world a few years back. Their dad killed him though.” Krillin’s brows furrowed.

“He couldn’t be him.”

“D’ya think he’s up to anything?” Kakarot asked with a mouthful.

“Who knows.” Bulma sipped her juice. “Maybe he’s just a relative of his who wants to go to school.”

“Weird as hell. Who wants to go to school?” Yucca made a face, twirling her fork in hand.

After school as Yucca was on her way to the locker room she spotted Piccolo in front of the school’s activities board. The board had fliers and sign up sheets for the various extracurricular activities the school offered. She strained to read the text on the paper in his hands. Four Star High Dragons: Football Sign-up

Holy shit, he is playing football! Yucca kept walking, her pace faster than before. Wait till Kakarot hears this.

Yucca made her way to the girl’s locker room to change into a school T-shirt and some athletic shorts. She pulled her hair into a low pony as she ran out to the soccer field.

After their practices, Raditz drove them home. The three of them ate a large snack before pulling out their books to study.

Believe it or not, Raditz was a straight A student. He always got amazing grades, so their parents made him help the younger two. Kakarot and Yucca struggled academically, but with Raditz’s help they did better than just passing.

“You guys had better focus today. I’m getting ready for my date at 7, and that time isn’t changing for either of you dumbasses.”

Raditz practically beat the information into them, but they got done around 6:30. Since they still had some down time, they went outside to train together. Fighting was a big part of their family; it was how Bardock paid the bills. It was also in their Saiyan blood.

Bardock had gotten home at about six, so they joined him in the backyard.

“I understand that Turles needs to hang out with kids his age, but he’s starting to fall behind in training.” Bardock commented.

“His band is finally getting some attention, so it makes sense that he’s focusing more on it.” Raditz shrugged.

“It’s not like he’s gonna quit fighting, but we’re the strongest people on earth. There’s not much reason to get stronger than we already are.” Yucca chimed in.

“Turles may be a rockstar, but I know he’s still gonna fight. I’m sure he’ll catch up on training in no time.” Kakarot beamed.

“Yeah, well, it might do him some good if you remind him.” Bardock smirked.

“We’ll get on it.”

Yucca and Kakarot were made to face off against each other while Raditz took on his father. The youngest two were often on the same wavelength. They were very close, after all.

As the most battle focused siblings, they often trained together. Their like mindedness and similar behaviors made them appear like twins to strangers. They were technically Irish twins, so the thought wasn’t so far off.

“How come Chi Chi didn’t say bye before you went to practice? Doesn’t she like to do that shit?” Yucca aimed a punch at her brother.

“She’s mad at me.” Kakarot dodged and jabbed at her.

“Again?! Why?”

“She doesn’t like how close I am with Bulma.” He uncharacteristically frowned as he attacked.

“You guys don’t act in a way that disrespects your relationship though. She’s all wigged out for no reason.” Yucca got him off balance and went in for the pin.

“That’s what I said! Well, not exactly. I just said she had nothing to worry about. But she just talked about how I don’t care about her and that I’m a player just like Raditz.” Kakarot switched their positions.

“Hey!” Raditz shouted at them from his match.

“No offense!”

“That’s bitchy. Bulma was literally our first friend when we came here. Of course you’re close!” Yucca freed herself and went in for another attack. “Plus, you’ve been doing your best to please ChiChi for the entirety of your relationship. You’ve sacrificed a good time with your friends to make her happy.”

“I’m no good at romance…but I don’t wanna hurt Chi Chi.” Kakarot winced when his sister struck him. “Honestly, I don’t know if I even wanna be in this relationship anymore.”

Yucca ceased all combat. Her brother followed suit, a heavy silence hanging between them.

“Why’s that? I thought you liked her.”

“Well, I do. I really care about her and stuff, but it seems like I just always make her mad. Ever since we’ve got together, I feel like she’s hated me. It’s like she has lost feelings after getting with me, but stays anyway.”

“Kakarot…” Yucca held intense eye contact with him. “Have you asked Chi Chi?”

“No. She’ll just blow up on me. I’d rather not bring it up.” Kakarot didn’t meet her eyes.

“Then that’s not a relationship you should be in.”

Kakarot’s eyes shot to his father’s in astonishment. It was as though the idea of breaking up with Chi Chi had never occurred to him.

“…it’s a terrifying thought though.”

“Change can be difficult, but this change will be beneficial. For the both of you.” Raditz placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Once you both get over each other, you’ll be happier than ever. I’ll even help you find a new girl.”

“I think I’ll pass on that last part.” Kakarot chuckled.

“Women’s sizes 10 and 8 and a men’s 12.” Bulma leaned against the counter of the skate rentals. The employee behind the desk nodded before whipping around to the cubbies.

“I hope Musique is DJing tonight.” Yucca untied her high top sneakers.

“Yeah, she always plays the best music.” Kakarot slipped his own shoes off.

The three pairs of roller skates hit the counter, signaling the group to pick them up and move on.

“We should buy our own skates and customize them since we come here so much. It’d be so cute!” Bulma suggested while lacing up her skates.

“Oh my Kami, yes!!” Yucca spun in a smooth circle courtesy of her skates.

“I think I’ll need some help with mine, I’m not as good with artsy stuff like you are.”

“Don’t worry, Kakarot, I got you.” Bulma promised. Goku smiled, a warm and content feeling in his chest. Bulma was always there for him no matter what. Work It started playing over the speakers, and the lights flashed in time with it.

“Ooh, I love this song! I’m going out there.” Yucca bolted away towards the rink.

“I bet Musique is here tonight.” Bulma smirked in amusement.

“Good, I’m kinda in a dancing mood.” Kakarot did a goofy move when he said dancing. Bulma giggled and he joined her.

“Oh yeah? Show me your moves.” The bluenette challenged him. He did a dumb dance that actually had a few good moves in there. They laughed once again before joining Yucca in the rink.

“What took you so long?” Yucca came out of nowhere.

“We’d never leave you out here for too long.” Bulma grinned. The three then started rapping loudly.

“If you a fly gal, get your nose done

Get a pedicure, get your hair did

Boy lift it up, let’s make a toast ah

Let’s get drunk, that’s gon bring us closer

Don’t I look like a Halle Berry poster

See the Belvedere playin tricks on ya

Girlfriend wanna be like me, never

You won’t find a bitch that’s even better

I make you hot as Las Vegas weather

Listen up close while I take it backwards”

Yucca laughed, a similar sound to her brother’s. Bulma kept going. Kakarot just smiled as he watched his closest female companions have a good time in the rink. They all got along so nicely.

His heart panged when he thought about how they never had this much fun when ChiChi tagged along. She always had something to complain about, and never made an effort to actually have fun with them. She only came because Kakarot was there.

Usually Krillin would come too, but he had to attend a family event with his brothers. The three would give their regards later. They decided to take a selfie together to add to their book. They had to be all over each other to fit into the frame. Kakarot held the camera as he was the tallest standing at six feet. Since Bulma was much shorter, he lifted her closer to Yucca’s face. She trusted his firm grip.

“Alright, folks! Give another round of applause for The Crushers!!” A short black woman with cropped hair announced. The audience of the café went wild. “They’ll be back next Thursday.”

The band started dismantling their set and loading it into Sherry’s mom’s van.

“Thanks for covering me when I blanked. You have sweet vocals, Turles.” Launch brought another part of the drumset to the van.

“No problem, someone had to do something.”

“You guys should duet more often, the crowd went crazy over it.” Walter pushed his fluffy green bangs away from his face only for them to fall back.

“Yeah, that was brilliant, kids.” Miss Bell leaned against the doorframe.

“You think?”

“Hell yeah! That shit went hard.”

Walter turned into his shy self while Sherry basked in the praise. Launch and Turles just blushed.

In the middle of a love song, Launch sneezed and turned from blonde to blue. Blue Launch didn’t know where she was or what she was doing, so Turles took over vocals until she realized she was performing. She joined him for a few lines before he stopped.

It was awfully romantic, and there was so much tension between them as they shared the mic. Staring into each other’s eyes and breathing each other’s air. It had Turles’s heart racing like nothing else.

“We should a write a song specifically for us to sing.” He suggested.

“Sounds like fun.” Launch smiled widely.

Updates every Friday

[roboromantic]

episode 16.

Is this Cube? /j

wait a sec all the captions on that page are Destiny related sdjfhsdjkfhskjdfh

SAY THE LINE, STARSCREAM!

That’s……………………not quite how that went when Alex told the story 🤔 It seemed pretty obvious in his telling that Megatron was still leading the Decepticons when the spacebridge got destroyed. I know they pointed out that he was really simplifying things at the time but still. the order of events seems kinda important to get right

Also I guess Soundwave never really looked like his G1 version in this continuity? Seems like a bit of a weird choice but maybe they just didn’t wanna have to make another model

Megs also seems surprised by the fact that the bridge got blown up so 👀 blease I wanna know everything

Hgdjkfhgfjghjd

HSJLFDHLJKFHSDLJDFGLHJSDE MEGATRON’S THERE?????????????? *shrek voice* he doesn’t even get to play himself 😔

PLEASE LET THE MAN SPEAK

HASHTAG THIS IS NOT THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

oh shit they’re referencing the spark flowers from IDW1, damn

maybe there’s a message here but it looks to be mostly gibberish and I ain’t gonna take the time to go through all of it just in case.             At least not right now

I’ve already seen a post comparing Blitzwing to the pointing wojak meme but I mean. It really does look like that sdjfhgsjdhfs

It woulda been neat if the graffiti was this ↓ but that mighta been a bit much to hope for

The text here is the same gibberish but upside-down and mirrored I guess for variety? But the fact that it now looks right-aligned just makes it look super out of place imo

Also it’s getting squished at the bottom (top?) instead of cut off, which is interesting

Your darkest hour, you say 👀

SDHFGDSJHFGSJH YOU CALL THAT SNEAKING???

Why is Shockwave’s head so dang small

“We began this war so none would kneel” OH? DO TELL 👀👀👀

I mean I don’t really wanna rehash the “Cybertronian government was corrupt and both the Autobots and Decepticons wanted change but the Decepticons were more ~violent~ about it” but then again without the idea of a frame type it’s a bit less.   Bad

He did this at the beginning too obviously but Why exactly is Bee apologizing to Skrapnel. Was he with the Autobots for a bit???

Why are they replaying the whole dang thing. To fill time???

“I get why it started, but once it became Autobot vs Decepticons-“ PLEASE…………..DEETS…………..

JKSADHFSJSDKLJGHFDJKGHKSJKDFH “WHO DID THIS?”

man comes up here like “At last we meet again” and then refuses to believe any significant amount of time has passed? Lmao

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm there’s a Lot I could get into there but it’s late and I got a finale to watch so

OH NO WHY DOES IT MAKE THEM GRAY D:

Alien crab mech tank thing seems to be the standard Shockwave alt nowadays but once again I do wish Gun was an option

“ugly giant bags of mostly water”

………………………….I know what he meant but the way Thrash worded it made it sound like he did in fact shit himself, he just doesn’t wear pants

“Do better” is really not helpful like. I get that they’re kids and all but more concrete info on what the differences were between the factions and how they got exacerbated to the point of potentially killing their entire planet and advice on how to stop things before they escalate that far would be a Lot more useful.

this episode gave us a lot but still somehow managed to not answer anything satisfactorily aaaaaahhhhhh

--

actually I think I’m gonna save the finale for tomorrow I’m getting tired

[lemonprick]

thoughts on puss in boots 2: the last wish

spoilers for puss on boots 2 if anyone cares enough about it. you’ve been warned!

i didn’t even know there was a sequel until i saw the thumbnail for schafrillas productions’ video on it, now i’ve watched it and um. it’s actually kinda good?

i had such a weird fondness for the first one. the spanish aesthetic, score, the animation, just the absurdity of this tiny adorable cat, that looks so much like mine, being voiced by antonio banderas. (this is coming from someone who didn’t watch any of the shrek films except the first.) but the story did suck, and humpty dumpty is easily my most disliked character in all of dreamworks history, barry b benson included.

so i figured i’d enjoy this one the way i did the first too; cool fight/dance scenes, good soundtrack and animation, bonkers ideas. turns out i was right in all the wrong ways.

first of all, the fuckin animation?? holy crap what is dreamworks doing? where is the realistic lighting and fur/leather textures you’re known for and why have you given us such gorgeous painted landscapes and layered models?? are you out here trying to steal sony animation studio’s thunder because you truly are! every single fight scene in this is a delight (as expected from dreamworks), was not expecting the 2.5d effect thing they’ve got going on and was straight up blown away by the colours. the kung fu panda influence is strong in this movie. i do think the effects are not quite as earned as in spiderverse of kung fu panda, since its styles are kind of all over the place and not as thematically cohesive, but it’s such a surprising departure from the usual dreamworks look. of course i hope they don’t completely move away from that era, but the designers have really shown us what they can done and i am here for it. i will say the way the frame rates noticeably slow down every time a fight goes on can get grating, but i got used to it halfway in.

secondly the story. yes it is rushed, yes it’s a mish-mash of ideas, yes it doesn’t quite explore each character’s motivations or conflicts to warrant any strong emotional responses, yes it was resolved all rather quickly; all these were issues in the first one as well. goldilocks is especially egregious since we know that she loves her family; look at all their little interactions! they’re the crime family! the writers did drop the ball by making her wish for another family. whatever was that all about?

but jesus christ i was not expecting death to straight up be the antagonist of this film. what an unexpected plot point for what i assumed was marketed as a family fun adventure film, but at the same time oh so expected, because a cat using up his nine lives makes for such fun storytelling? sure it can get a bit too on the nose, but death’s design and entrance is so darn cool i can forgive it a thousand times over.

also the writing. it was pretty clear that they’ve started running out of jokes at some point in the middle and so it did get a lil sluggy in the dialogue, but otherwise? holy fuckin hell how is this a movie for children. you have raw-ass lines like “has the legend gotten so big there isn’t any room for anyone else”? plot-twist-gut-wrench-holy-crap moments like santa coloma?? “it wasn’t just one bad heist. it was a church with priests and guests”?? “lives flashing through your eyes? / no, just one”??? telling death himself to pick up your sickles because i know i can’t win, i’m just going to go down fighting anyways????

and the absolute explosion of bleeps and curses that was perrito. seriously, how did they greenlight that? they put “shit-for-brains” in a kids movie??

(also, the side characters are so casually killed in this movie that it’s kinda insane. dreamworks has never shied away from a good “oh he’s dead now” gag but the way the girl just turned to gold and the baker’s dozen were straight up thanos-snapped away without a moment to spare. chilling to think about.)

not much to say about the acting, it was fun enough to service the film without being outstanding i guess. antonio banderas is having fun as puss as always, for some reason i always thought penelope cruz voiced kitty? but she’s cool in this anyway, finally the comedic relief third-trio-character doesn’t have an annoyingly comedian voice and just sounds like a sweet little dude. florence pugh is fine but there are moments where you know she’s not a voice actor, whoever voiced baby bear sounded a tad too much like james corden and i got chills whenever he spoke. i’d say john mulaney does a decent job selling jack horner, the way he delivers absolutely horrific sentences with such nonchalance and glee is so entertaining to watch; guy may have problems but he is still a comedian with iconic joke delivery.

more of a subjective preference than commentary, but the score was a bit of a let-down. i was so hoping to hear more of the gorgeous spanish acoustic sound that i loved from henry jackman’s previous tracks but this film seems a tad too eager to introduce electronic sounds. some parts do get real castanet-y and brassy, which were my favourite parts; a bit sad diablo rojo or the puss suite didn’t get an encore but oh well, it has been a while.

so i guess the takeaway is that i’m so well-versed in how the studio uses comedy that i was yet again able to predict the “leeches!” line about ten minutes in right before the barber said it.

an objective 7/10 because of the weird pacing and ending, a subjective 9/10 just because i would never have taken a puss in boots movie seriously enough to rank it like i would with other movies. incredibly high-quality absurdity, stellar action, amazing antagonists, absolutely insane lines, a better magical forest adventure than frozen 2. go watch it guys.

(additional comment because i haven’t said enough: this also marks the third 3D animated movie set in a hispanic country where a character dies by being crushed by a bell. only in the case of the book of life the guy was exploded inside the bell but still. a bell.)

EDIT: UPON SECOND WATCH i immediately watched it again the next day because i was so baffled by this movie. i loved it a whole lot this time around! revisiting this makes me realise how good the voice performances actually are, like now with the context that antonio banderas is 62 and still voicing puss with such energy and rigour, just how different john mulaney sounds than his other roles but still delivering deliciously evil lines so well, and i found myself enjoying goldilocks a lot more. also i realised i judged the soundtrack too quickly, even though i’m still not eager on the synths i did appreciate the orchestrals a more (i’m just really stuck on henry jackman’s score). pacing-wise i had initially thought it ran too fast, but now i’m realising maybe it’s just because i loved every single moment in the film that it didn’t feel like it had any room for downtime; too full of fun interactions and chilling moments for me to realise time was passing. still a 9/10 subjective rating, holy fuck this has been one of dreamworks’ recent strongest and it's a shrek spinoff movie

[berryylll]

Chaos

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a/n : wrote this as a prompt based off my friends cat ☆

CW!! : Explosions, wounds, gore, implied animal death, implied human death, intense situations

wc : 670

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Chaos. Ok well not literal chaos but chaos the cat! Garrett was sitting in his bed with the cat, petting chaos as they scrolled through their phone. Then a loud buzzing came from outside, then a boom and next thing Garrett knows, his hand, previously petting the black cat, was gone. Blown off. As was the rest of the house, and chaos nowhere in sight. What happened? An unanswerable question at the time, no context known besides an obvious explosion had happened. Garrett couldn't think of much, ringing and dizziness filling his head like cotton stuffed in a jar. He stood up shakily, stumbling to find a solid surface until he made it to the crumbling door frame. Door burnt but partially intact. The rest of his room looked like a ruin from some kind archeological site. Dust, concrete, smote wood broken and trashed everywhere. Including his hand, just sitting there on the ground roughly blown off and halfway there. Oh shit. With the realization he was going to be sick, correction, apparently he already was, in the midst of throwing up as recognition came to him. Garrett clutched the frame for some sort of grounding, a sort of stability to at least keep him standing. ‘This can’t be happening’ he thought, trying to get his mind to focus.

It smelled like burning garbage and popcorn smoke from a microwave. It only furthered the nausea he was feeling. He had to find someone and get help, there's no way he could stay here without medical attention. His mom was a doctor, he's sure she could help. But she was at work last time he checked, hopefully she came home after the explosion. Was it always this hot? Garrett walks out to the living room, also crumbling just as he found out the rest of the house was. He could hear screaming outside but was too exhausted and unfocused to check. The sound felt like a car swerving on a rocky road. Garrett didn’t know how that was possible but didn't enjoy the sound of it hitting his eardrums either way. Thankfully he still had working eardrums. No one was on the ground floor so he made his way to the basement. He stood at the stairwell of the entrance internally hating the experience of what it was gonna be like going down the stairs. When he got down there after throwing up one more and two quick trips to grab his bearings he found Goose and his mom hiding. His mom was frantically trying to patch up the burn wounds and almost melting skin on Goose’s face. Goose was Garrett's younger sister, her real name was Gracey but 5 year old Garrett thought Goose sounded better then her birth name. So it sort of stuck. “Am I interrupting a cuddle session?” Garrett spoke hoarsely, surprised he could speak at all.

“Garrett! Oh holy shit!”Goose said, surprised at his very presence, their mom was quick to correct the vulgar language.

But she let it go quickly, getting up to usher Garrett over, checking him quickly. Her eyes landed on his hand and those same eyes widened in absolute horror, worry and shock all at once. It felt like he was being cared for by an angry crow. A squawking and trembling voice erupting from his mother as she got something to cut off the circulation quickly shoving a bottle of water and an apple in his face. To which Garrett ate though hesitating at some point because of his already upset and uneasy stomach. Despite her wounds, though already bandaged, Goose would not stop asking questions about what happened to him, he answered as many as he could with his head slowly returning back to a somewhat normal state. After his forearm had been wrapped in a tourniquet, his mom told him how they had ended up down in the basement, thankfully safe from all of the horrible radiation and damage. Oh man did they have a lot to catch up on…

[haikyuu-boys-headcanons]

𝙷𝙰𝙸𝙺𝚈𝚄𝚄 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝚂 - 𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝚇 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚂

hehe, i’m back at it again with one of these long ass posts but this idea’s literally been in my head all day long so here you go !! obvious nsfw warning :)

tw: this whole post is just nsfw and embarrassing to read so read at your own risk >:)

𝙳𝙰𝙸𝙲𝙷𝙸 » during a super intense and loud session, his voice cracked as he asked you “does that feel goOD- good baby?” to this day, he still prays that you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your own moans

𝚂𝚄𝙶𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙰 » you were riding him and he went to slap your ass, but something went wrong either because you were riding too quickly or he was shaking too much, boy ended up slapping himself in the balls. you’ve never heard that boy scream that loud in your life

𝙰𝚂𝙰𝙷𝙸 » literally pulled out in the middle of sex to get up and rush to the corner of his room to flip around his childhood teddy bears. your just laying there with your tiddies and coochie out waiting for asahi to shield the eyes of mr. wiggles

𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙺𝙰 » you two were having pretty intense shower sex until tanaka did the number one thing your not supposed to do during shower sex; this muthafucker slipped while holding you. long story short, y’all were okay but just ended up having nasty shower floor sex??

𝙽𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙾𝚈𝙰 » this tiny ass 5′2 man was unconsciously humping your leg while you were both asleep?? his presumably pleasurable wet dream had turned into a sudden nightmare when you literally had to KICK him off you to stop the humping. bad nishinoya, bad!

𝙺𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰 » came WAYYY too early inside you, but he was too embarrassed to say anything so he just... kept going. sadly, no one had warned kageyama of the intense effects of overstimulation. he was shaking and whimpering so badly behind you to the point where you had to ask him to pull out and bring him a glass of water to calm down

𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙰 » the first time you squirted on him, he just blatantly asked you these exact few words that left you feeling mortified: “did you just piss on me?” nuh uh hinata, this water fountain ain’t yours to drown in anymore >:( 

𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙺𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » kei was hitting it from the back pretty hard this time, so hard that you were suddenly... on an angle? suddenly, now you two were much closer to the floor than before. the bed ended up collapsing, yes literally collapsing due to kei’s powerful thrusts. worst part is, nobody got to finish since kei dragged you to ikea to grumpily buy a new bedframe. but hey, he bought you ikea meatballs; that shit hits so different

𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙶𝚄𝙲𝙷𝙸 » one super duper intense night, he passed out the SECOND he came. no matter how much you flicked the temple of his forehead, yamaguchi was dead asleep. you had to literally slap him awake to get him to clean up, you ain’t risking a ranky stanky UTI puthy in the morning

𝙾𝙸𝙺𝙰𝚆𝙰 » kept calling himself a sex machine during the act. i don’t know if it was due to the 6 tequila shots he had beforehand or just his inner ego revealing, whatever it was it was about to make your pussy close

𝙸𝚆𝙰𝚉𝚄𝙼𝙸 » this one time, he kept going in at a weird angle which caused you to repeatedly queef for 7 minutes straight. every time you told him to pull out and go in properly, he laughed and kept going in at that one weird angle!! was your embarrassment a turn on for him?? maybe!! but were you mortified? absolutely!!

𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙽 » i’m sorry to have to be the one to announce this, but this man had the worst case of full blown bush you’ve ever seen. like, he didn’t even try to manscape or anything at all. you ended up begging him to trim just a tiny bit because you weren’t gonna risk choking on a pube whilst your going down on him

𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙸 » rubbed your left labia thinking it was your clit. and he kept doing that. the whole. fucking. time. even when you subtly moved his fingers towards your clit, he just kept going back to the left lip.

𝙺𝚄𝙽𝙸𝙼𝙸 » had the most dry and dull dirty talk you’ve ever heard. like, it’s not even dirty talk at this point; it’s just clean talk. there’s no passion when he talks! he uses the same tone he would use for anyone else at any other moment. to paint the picture, imagine riding kunimi and he’s just there with a furrowed expression like “yup, that feels really good”

𝙺𝚈𝙾𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙸 » tried to pull one of those unexpected anal scenes that he saw from a porno, without telling you beforehand. life lesson here; if you party at shit's house, don't be surprised if shit's at the party

𝙺𝚄𝚁𝙾𝙾 » you two were looking to get a little more kinky in terms of BDSM, so kuroo watched like 30 tutorials on youtube on how to safely tie you up so you won’t fall or anything. this bitch ended up tying rope knots that were practically impossible to undo, which resulted in you hanging from the ceiling for approximately 2 hours pussy-ass naked while kuroo tried to cut you down with a kitchen knife

𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙼𝙰 » wanted to spice things up with some dirty talk, like the real nasty talk they use in pornos but not the normal pornos; the shitty company ones with horrific acting. he really ended up announcing that he was going to “fuck your fucking fanny off, you twat”

𝙻𝙴𝚅 » got super excited while he was opening the lube since he hadn’t gotten to fuck you in a WHILE, which resulted the lube leaked everywhere and a giant 6′5 man slipping and hitting his head on the bed frame. worst part is; he had to go to the ER with a hard on that refused to go away

𝙱𝙾𝙺𝚄𝚃𝙾 » speaking of boners that wouldn’t go away, let’s not forget that one time bokuto took two viagras when you texted him to come over for a special occasion. he horribly misinterpreted the ‘special occasion’ text, because he showed up to your house with a huge buldge in his pants as your parents stand before him holding anniversary cards, completely horrified

𝙰𝙺𝙰𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸 » wanted to make valentines day sex as romantic as he could, so he did the classic lighting candles and giving roses. everything was beautiful, until he accidently knocked one of the bigger candles over during missionary. this not only caused a huge ass fire in your bedroom, but he came right as the fire began to spread. boy was debating on whether his orgasm was to die for or not

𝙺𝙾𝙽𝙾𝙷𝙰 » had a nose bleed when he was going down on you and you both were immediately horrified, you thinking it was your period and him thinking he just ate coochie blood. yet as you went to go clean up, you realized his face had much more blood on it than your coochie did. to this day, he still blames it on your period 

𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙹𝙸𝙼𝙰 » threw you onto the bed and your head went through the wall. he didn’t even bother to ask you if you were okay, he just sighed and went “well, now i have to make a call to the construction guy. excuse me” and he left you and your concussed ass head sit there once again, pussy ass naked

𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙾𝚄 » during a blowjob, he held your head down right as he was coming causing the cum to shoot up your throat and somehow pour out of your nose. by the time he pulled out, he could barely breath from laughing at you. sure, the classic ‘milk shooting out of nose’ thing was funny at first until you got a sinus infection and had to breath out of your mouth for the next three days

𝚂𝙴𝙼𝙸 » always insists having sex in the most inconvenient places?? like he would pull you to side while grocery shopping and start grinding up against you as you pick which brand of cheese would be better??

𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙺𝙸 » he kept getting frustrated that his bangs were clouding his field of vision, so he irritably grabbed a hair tie and frantically tied up the sides of his bangs while he was fucking you. you immediately burst out laughing since he looked exactly like boo from monsters inc. 

𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » got so drunk that he ended up fucking the couch. like he was just there on top of you, and his dick was just sliding between the folds of the leather couch. you decided to let him finish like that

𝚂𝙰𝙺𝚄𝚂𝙰 » had a really bad reaction to one of the products he used while shaving and ended up getting super irritated down there so he kept having to pull out in-between thrusts to itch his crotch. to make things worse, you joking suggested that he looked like he had syphilis and he got so disgusted at the idea of that thought that he literally had to pull out and take a breather 

𝙾𝚂𝙰𝙼𝚄 » drizzled ‘warm’ chocolate down your chest and was about to seductively lick it off until you screamed in pain and horror as the chocolate was literally burning your skin off. osamu panicked, obviously not knowing what to do if chocolate was burning his partners skin off so he just... frantically licked it off. you still had to go to the ER afterwards to get treated for mild burns

𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚄𝙼𝚄 » didn’t know what a hymen was until the first time he tried to have sex with you. no matter how much he tried to shove his schlong in, it really just wasn’t working + “yer puss is broken”

𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙰 » pinched your nipples so fucking hard to the point where you started crying. he thoughts these were tears of pleasure until you literally had to kick him off you. but hey, he gave you ice for your sore nipples and mcdonalds! what more could a girl possibly want :)

uh the end lol

also, this idea was inspired by the first haikyuu headcanon i ever read, “awkward sex moments” by @bbytetsu <3

[arduadastra]

Giving Javier a handjob under the table at a gathering dinner thing

A/N: Oh, oh my LORD anon this is juicy and I have every intention of taking this way too far because once Javi enters my writing space he makes me FERAL (This man needs to be stopped and apparently all it takes is a well-placed hand) I took the liberty of this being a just them thing (Hope that's ok!)

Warnings: NSFW - NO MINORS (18+) Semi-public sex, HJ's, swearing, Javi in a button-down.

Masterlist

You and Javi had been together exactly one year to the day and you had both decided to celebrate the occasion. Neither of you were big on anniversaries but Escobar was gone, the Cali cartel were finished and you had both just wanted to be together and enjoy being safe for the first time in…well…ever.

Choosing what to do had been a struggle though, neither of you wanting to spend too much money but also wanting to do something that meant you could be alone together. It felt like you had both been constantly around others and you needed the space. Eventually, after one too many arguments (Javi had put his foot down when you mentioned the mall and a movie) you decided on dinner.

You were both a bit clueless to the area, spending most of your time either on stakeouts out of the city or in the embassy so you had relied on Murphy’s recommendation for the restaurant and you had to say, the guy had good taste. It was quiet, not overly fancy but still had the atmosphere that meant dressing up was encouraged. It was cosy, exposed bricks and small lamps lighting the tables in a soft hue and when you sat down in the booth you couldn’t help but admire how the soft shadows danced across Javi’s face.

Your admiration certainly didn’t stop there. Javier had definitely pulled out all the stops for tonight and you were loving every second. He had chosen a dark suit with no tie, just a white shirt with the first few buttons left open that exposed his collarbone to your gaze. His suit jacket framed his broad shoulders deliciously and you could’ve outright moaned when he shrugged it off to roll his shirt sleeves up - that man knew all your buttons and he was damn well pushing them.

Javi cast you a knowing smirk as he picked up his menu and you watched as his large hands ran the length of the paper. His fingers tracing the edge of the menu much like he does on your skin and you feel the familiar heat flare-up in your gut. You weren't alone though, you knew you were having the same effect on him but he was just better at hiding it. You were wearing a dark red wrap dress that accentuated your hips, curves and ass, one of Javi’s favourite attributes of you, and you leant forward to show off a hint of a black lace bra.

He side-eyed you at that and you smirked, being partners with Javi long before you got together meant you could observe the man’s tells and from the flex of his jaw, you knew he was holding back. He loved red on you and he loved black lace too, you knew that. As you sat there and stared at the man in front of you, an idea crept into your head. How far would his resolve would go?

Making the man who fought drug traffickers on the streets and chased criminals across buildings while handling high-level negotiations without breaking a sweat crack would be a challenge. But you loved the idea of riling him up in such a public setting, the idea was too tempting.

You slid a hand onto his thigh, feigning ignorance as you pretended to read the menu in your hands whilst also making sure to rub slow circles just above his kneecap. His leg shifts under your ministrations and you slide it higher. He clears his throat.

Your hand stays when the waitress drops by to ask for your drinks order. As always Javi orders a whiskey and you order wine, loving the subtle hitch of Javi’s voice when you press your fingers into his inner thigh while he thanks the server. She walks away and he scowls at you, “What do you think you’re doing Hermosa?”

You shrug, fingers now trailing up his inseam and he clenches his thighs together, one hand dropping to clasp yours in a tight grip, “I said what are you doing?” You’re about to reply but then the waitress comes back with your drinks and Javi switches on his most charming smile and you can’t help but graze his crotch as he looks at the waitress, a small possessive side to you loving the widening of his eyes. You trail the spot, mapping it out under your fingers as she shamelessly flirts with him, a silent reminder of who he belongs to.

As she leaves, you lean into his ear, picking up your wineglass, your other hand remains preoccupied, “I’m having fun Javi, why? You think you can’t handle it?” You take a sip and squeeze slightly and Javi shuts his eyes, legs widening in silent acceptance.

Game on.

You drop your hand from his leg and let him settle, he exhales harshly and after a second brings the whiskey glass to his lips. You wait for him to take a sip before drifting your hand back up the outside of this thigh now and you see his jaw tick when he swallows. You lean across and place a gentle kiss on the tense spot before sliding your hand up and over, lingering on his crotch once more. Javi raises an eyebrow to you, a silent 'Is that all you've got?'

The next time you press, the waitress is back asking for your food order and while you give yours, under the table you’re playing with Javi’s slack button and you pop it open silently as he gives his. Your fingertips graze his boxers as you study his profile and while he doesn’t give anything away on his face, his clenched fist tells another story.

You finger the coarse hair just below the elastic and he manages a tense nod as the waitress asks him if he wanted fries. She seems annoyed by his lack of response and you revel in it. Javi doesn't dare look at you this time as she finally retreats, just takes a sip of his drink. You decide to do the same, the alcohol warming your body and leaving you feeling weightless in your actions. Your fingertips continue to slip just shy of his waistband before slipping over his boxers to cup him under his slacks.

Javi kicks his leg out, foot hitting the opposite table leg and he looks around, clearly seeing if anyone can see his compromising position, “Shit” he murmurs, “What if someone sees?”

You grin, “So what if they do Javi? Besides, it's pretty dark I think we’ll be okay” and with that, your hand begins a slow rhythm over his clothed cock and you hear a soft moan from the man beside you.

“Sssh Jav…”

He bites back a groan as your fingers slip against his warm skin again and delve lower, your fingers grazing his length as you sigh, “Only I get to hear those pretty sounds.” Javi nods frantically before realising the public nature of your acts and covers it by drinking again, seeming desperate in his gulps as he rolls his hips. Emboldened by his reaction, you softly wrap your hands around him and pull softly, knuckles rubbing against the inside of his zipper and you feel his hips buck again into your grip.

You take a moment to glance around and happy that no one can see what’s transpiring between the two of you, you look back at Javi’s face and you love what you see. His eyes have darkened significantly, pupils blown as you feel him harden further under the table and his bottom lip is swollen from his biting teeth. His usual golden-brown eyes are swimming in unbridled lust and as his tongue darts out to wet his lip, you can’t help but lean across and kiss him.

You keep it G rated, simply pressing your lips to his and relishing in the feel of his moustache against your lip. You slip your hand lower and start pumping him properly, swallowing his moans as you do. You lean back and look at his dishevelled face and continue, watching him white knuckle the table cloth beneath a clenched fist.

You kiss him again then against his lips you ask, “Think I can make you cum? Make you cum in front of everyone here with only the two of us knowing about the mess you’re gonna make all over yourself, baby?”

Javi pants, jaw slack and mouth open at your question. You take his silence as the opportunity to pull him totally free, exposing him to the warm air of the restaurant. Javi leans back and watches you, an intense stare you rarely see with your clothes on and you start moving in earnest. You slide towards him further, bracketing your bodies into the corner of the booth and you watch his pulse thrum under the tight skin of his neck.

You hasten the rhythm and his fingers slip against the wood where they grip the table, the other coming up to cover his mouth in a cough that sounds suspiciously like a groan as you thumb the head of his cock. Your thumb comes back slick and you use it to wet his shaft, now openly staring at Javi as he slowly falls apart under your hands…well hand.

You can tell he’s close through the frantic look in his eye, hesitant to release in such a public setting but you coax it out of him, running your lips against his neck and kissing him lightly as you say, “Come on Jav, cum for me, make a mess all under this fancy table.” and he does.

You've got to give the guy credit, he’s dead silent and you know how loud the man can be when he cums. He hunches slightly and gasps, chin tilted downwards as he watches himself release all over your fist and drip onto his pressed slacks. He squeezes his eyes shut, biting his tongue as you keep the pressure, knowing how sensitive he gets once he's cum. He opens his eyes, cheeks slightly pink in embarrassment and arousal and he sets his gaze on you.

It’s like the spell is broken and with that as he pushes your slick hand away and shoves himself back in, hips rising as he closes the zipper and button then grabs the napkin from his side, offering it to you with a raised brow, urgency clear on his face.

You notice the waitress just beginning to come over with the food and you offer Javi a wink before sticking your fingers in your mouth and sucking, popping your fingers clean with a smirk as the waitress comes over with the plates.

Javi is speechless.

You knew she must’ve seen something so you offer an apology as Javi still stares at you gobsmacked, “Sorry! Red wine gets everywhere sometimes and with these prices, I’m not wasting a drop!”

She laughs politely and set your food down as she begins to saunter away, pouting slightly when she notices Javi’s full attention is focused on you now rather than her backside.

You pick up your knife and fork and start eating, ignoring the shell shocked Javier at your side. He finally brings himself out of his stupor and grabs his plate, forcefully shovelling some pasta into his mouth before leaning across and hissing, "You've got five minutes to eat then we're leaving."

You frown, "But we just got here!"

Javi laughs darkly, "Oh we aren't leaving here cariño, just the table because after that stunt you just pulled? I'm taking you to that bathroom and fucking you, not in silence," He laughs again, "Fuck that. I'm going to make you moan for me so loudly that everyone in this god damn place will know exactly what you've been doing."

It's your turn to be stunned into silence.

"And then? We are coming right back here for dessert. I want everyone to know what a bad girl looks like after she's been thoroughly fucked."

He continues eating.

You stare at your food. Your pussy throbs at Javi's words and your head swims with the images he's presented. You hear him chide from beside you, "quedan cuatro minutos, mi amor..."

You've never eaten something so fast in your life.

------------------

I dedicate this also to @rattlethe-stars because both of us are slaves to Javier Peña and we have no shame in admitting it.

[stardustinyoureyes]

Unnecessarily Long S3 Trailer Analysis

Read more cause of spoilers

General thoughts:

APOCALYPSE NUMBER 3, HERE WE GO!!!

Honestly think that every season is going to be about stopping the apocalypse, and you know what? I'm fine with that.

PERFECT song for the trailer, 10/10

I love how they are referring to the Umbrellas and Sparrows as siblings straight out of the gate, let them be a big happy family!!

The Sparrows seem less intense in the trailer than they have been in the rest of the promotional material. Like, we see them grooving, we see Marcus going to a diner with Viktor, we see them getting beat by the Umbrellas multiple times. I like it. Seeing them as actual people and not invincible, emotionless superheroes drives home how Reginald fucked up yet another group of literal children.

Klaus, ending up in an alternate timeline that is going to be destroyed in less than a week: It's a tits-out kind of look.

Seriously, I don't think he has a single outfit with a closed, full-length shirt, and you know what? Valid.

I wasn't sure whether Fei's power was turning into birds or controlling them, this trailer confirms it's the latter

Looks like Lila joins up with them early on. GOOD. SHE'S A PART OF THE FAMILY NOW.

The dickhead moment...iconic. Peak sibling energy. I love them so much.

Various things that caught my eye:

Younger!Reginald, this might be a scene about when he first came to earth and it'll explain their origins a little bit

FIVE'S FUCKING FISHING OUTFIT. Amazing. Five toasting their untimely demise. Amazing. Klaus's outfit. Amazing. Dear God I want to have brunch with the two of them.

Blood bag that gets blown up by the kugelblitz. I'm guessing someone gets severely hurt and ends up in the hospital. Honestly could see it being an Umbrella or a Sparrow. I've seen a few people theorizing that one of the Sparrows will die, idk if I agree but I can definitely see one of them almost dying. Maybe one of the episodes will end in a cliffhanger where it looks like someone's going to die, but then they don't, like with Allison in S1.

Had to zoom in so this pic is pretty blurry, but that person is definitely wearing a hat. So this is Klaus getting attacked by Ben during their first encounter. Fun.

Five being the one to punch Ben in the face...he'd do anything for his siblings, including hurt another sibling.

Love Fei just chilling, watching Luther getting the shit beat out of him. Icon. It looks like Marcus's power is literally the exact same as Luther's, since I don't think he'd be able to punch Luther out if he didn't have super strength too. Maybe it'll turn out there's another aspect to it, but for now it seems like they're the same. Imagine having the most generic superpower out of all of your siblings and being like "well at least I'm the only one with the power" and then finding out that someone else has your incredibly basic power too. I'd be so pissed. F in the chat for Luther.

Pretty sure this is the basement that Marcus was in from that one still. Was the thing he looking at this weird-ass ball? Also, is that a framed picture of Marcus in the bottom left corner? Is this basement his playroom or something??? He just goes down there to hang out and ends up encountering a fucking Gastly-looking ball of electricity?? Okay.

What the dog doing? Oh, right, dissolving into a pile of ash. Okay. Also apparently being a concierge or something at the Hotel Oblivion.

(I fucking swear, if they bring in Mr. Pennycrumb to just kill him off, I will be so pissed.)

DIEGO AND LILA FIGHTING BACK TO BACK HELL YES A WIN FOR THE BISEXUALS!!! THEY'VE LITERALLY GOT EACH OTHER'S BACK!!!! LET THEM KICK SOMEONE'S ASS TOGETHER!!!

MARCUS'S FACE LMAOOO. Luther makes some of the best faces out of all of them, I'm glad to see Number 1 in this timeline is the same way.

Also, absolute king shit from Viktor. The growth.

Viktor in S1: *Apologizes for breathing*

Viktor in S3: Fuck you, you wish you were me.

More pics in reblog...lots more...