#|| I really gabbed on and on there
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🐦⬛Work wasn't kind, but I did what I said I'd do! I made it through the shift! And in good news, while double-checking the schedule, my vacation starts a day early! Which means that next Friday will be free and devoted to packing, setting up threads, and relaxing.
I'll be gushing a lil' over some of my writing friends below, as well as going into a bit more detail about my IRL stuff. It's a lot, but I believe most of my mutuals have earned the right to know more about me and my personal life.
(If you don't wanna read it, no biggie! Some of it's gonna be kinda' heavy and I'm sure it'll be long.)
For anyone who has checked in on me (and/or been worried), I'm both sorry and grateful. ;u; You guys are really kind. I'd hardly expected to find such a wonderful group of writers when I rejoined. From @wintereign and a few others helping me reacclimate to writing on Tumblr and @caeloservare going out of their way to consistently chat and check on me, you lot have been among the best co-writers I could ask for. Definitely the best I've had in a long while, outside of my darling wife.
But I promise: I'm okay. I'm doing my best with support from my wife and occasionally the friends I've made as I write. I also go to therapy as often as I can afford to, I take my antidepressants, and (when the paperwork is working for me) I try to stay stocked up on my ADHD meds. I just constantly struggle with working a late-night shift in an overstimulating environment on overnight shift and within a system that doesn't want to accommodate my needs as a neurodivergent individual. And on bad days at work, it can really cause my energy, motivation, and focus to dip. Certainly doesn't help my depression and anxiety, I'll tell ya. I only discovered last year I officially had these issues via professional diagnosis sessions, and I've been fighting with work ever since to get onto an easier assignment. Yet therapy has really helped me learn about my needs and coping mechanisms, and now I can proudly say that I'm improving as a person. It really helps to look back at all the progress I've made at times.
Whenever I get my mood dips, it's always temporary. I might disappear for a day or two at times, but I can't stay away too long. :p The threads I read here and the passion people share over their characters/stories keep bringing me back! You guys are really good for my mental health, I think.
Anyway, I gabbed on long enough! I need to get to bed soon!
#Twilight Talks (ooc)#cw:real life stuff#cw: gushing on friends#tw:mental health#|| I really gabbed on and on there#|| don't mind me
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being aromantic and into whump is like. shoutout to whump for being a great opportunity to engage with stories about intimacy and vulnerability and powerful emotion and physical interactions with other people and intense relationships that are not presumptively based in romance. what would i do without you.
#gav gab#what WOULD i do tbh#i was cursed to be someone who is profoundly romance repulsed and also REALLY invested in narratives#about emotional and physical intimacy and character relationship and vulnerability and relying on one another#and thus: whump my beloved#one of the major draws for me hands down
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fandoms writ large being unable to comprehend a relationship being interesting or complex or narratively rich or compelling or worth dissecting/making fanworks and meta about or meaningful or pivotal or central or profound or whatever else without cramming romance into it somewhere is so like. aside from being MASSIVELY alienating is also just boring as hell. like damn, skill issue ig.
#gav gab#no matter how complex or rich a relationship is#a fandom without fail is Always going to go YEAH BUT THEY WERE IN LOVE RIGHT#OR AT LEAST ONE OF THEM WAS#ITS ROMANTIC AND NOW I CARE#like please. Motherfucker Please.#SKILL ISSUE!#not even really thinking of anything in particular this time#just the whole phenomenon overall#aro blogging
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hey! as the first season of connor bedard gets underway i, your local indigenous hockey fan, have a request of you: please don't let this kid's sure to be marvellous and jaw-dropping rookie season make you complacent with the racism of the blackhawks as an organization. it is beyond heinous that they were able to secure the first overall pick this year for a number of reasons i'm sure we're all familiar with, but i am pleading with the hockey community not to let the racism of this org fall through the cracks.
they drafted connor bedard and handed him a jersey with a giant racist caricature on the front. their mascot is named tommy hawk. they continuously fail to curtail their fans' egregious displays of anti-indigenous racism at games.
i'm not going to ask anyone not to post about bedard. i know he's huge news and i'm bummed as all hell that i won't be able to enjoy the beginning of what is sure to be an incredible career myself. but i am asking, given that his presence on the team is likely to increase the prevalence of people making and reblogging posts about the blackhawks, that you please care, loudly and actively, about the racism of this organization and how much it hurts indigenous fans to see that go unquestioned so often.
consider mentioning it in posts. consider amplifying the voices of indigenous fans and community members about the issues of these types of sports organizations. consider reading up on the history of the person they claim to 'honour' with their hideous effigy of a logo. consider censoring the logo in your posts if you are able to (please do this if you are able to). consider tagging posts so that indigenous fans are at the very least able to blacklist that team and not have to see it.
above all, please just. don't forget about it. don't forget about us. we belong here too.
#gav gab#connor bedard#chicago blackhawks#i jsut. it makes me feel sick every time i see that thing.#this racist caricature of a native man's head on their jerseys on their ice in their locker room#a native man who had his body mutilated in death including having his head removed#it's fucking grotesque and it makes me literally sick#i was really looking forward to see what that little wizard boy could do!#and now it is wholly ruined for me#and i keep seeing people just. posting about it like this team is normal. like it's any other team#no ethical consumption under sports is true but some things ARE worse than others#and there is no justification or excuse for being a blackhawks fan in the year 2023. there just isn't.#and like..... it bums me the fuck out for bedard himself too#like he didn't choose this#he just got like. put into this situation#it sucks#he's a teenager and now he's in the middle of this whole mess he didn't create and isn't responsible for#and i can't expect him to do anything about it#but boy was i excited to see him play#and now it just..... yeah#well.
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I don’t know how I never played any of the Nancy Drew games as a kid, I love point and click and I love Nancy drew and I would have been all over them!! My sister and I are playing through them together now and it is just an absolute joy. (She is however much better at puzzles than me so idk maybe they would have frustrated me as a kid)
Also it’s giving me some inspo to ~actually~ practice drawing and backgrounds etc. so anyway here’s treasure in the royal tower WIPS. I really want to do some actual illustrations from these games.
Also Evelyn/gabsmolders streams are just prime content for background comfort noise when pain flares or fatigue keep me in bed.
#I really don’t know why I picked that spot in the castle as a background study#there’s way too much detail so idk if I’ll actually colour it#also it’s blizzarding right now and the vibes of tower fit so love that for me#I am also strugggling with dexter and I think it’s cause of bias cause he’s my favourite#TRT#treasure in the royal tower#nancy drew#nancy drew pc games#also designing covers/posters or something for these games would be such a fun thing to do#I wanna do fun typography again I don’t get as much of a chance to do that at work#and like#nancy drew games#her interactive#I don't think this counts as character design really cause i'm just going off of reference.#character art#character design#but like#loose#my art <3#gab smolders#Hotchkiss#sketchbook
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gabriella and cricket attack GO [I FORGOT ONE 😭😭😭]
also. whole lot of characters i havent drawn/colored so much yet + some little teen concepts
finished s3 recently it was very good. seasons just keep getting better
Had to come back and edit a lake episode Tilly in
#big city greens#bcg#big city greens fanart#sooo many characters in this one#cricket green#gabriella espinosa#bill green#alice green#nancy green#gloria sato#remy remington#dont love his older design bc its just him but slightly taller idk#andromeda bcg#bcg andromeda#??#kiki kitashima#weezie eastman#kiki bcg#weezie bcg#bc i didnt even know they HAD last names#benny bcg#good lort. ohgh#also wanted to doodle cricket and gab as that one pn2 “can i just punch you in the shoulder really hard” bit but it is soo late rn#some of the first 3 look weird bc i only did like 1 quick sketch and didnt rly try too hard on Anatomy mb#nancy green my lovee#Tilly green#i posted this so late at night i kept forgetting things guys im soo sorry pls enjoy the lame asf bf one
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the mixing bowl is the same roadrunner and coyote motif from the game at the gift shop, that's so cute
#nancy drew#nancy drew games#nancy drew: the secret of shadow ranch#watching the gab smolders playthrough of this game and it's really taking me back#my sister and i loved this game as a kid but we did not make it very far lmao it was too hard#i remember getting killed by rattlesnakes a lot which does not seem like a big part of the game actually???#but i loved the roadrunner and coyote game within a game
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jessica didn’t give mike a bonus like every other employee got so harvey gave mike a bonus. OUT OF HIS OWN POCKET.
#guys i know im years late but i don’t give a fuck#THEY’RE EVERYTHING TO ME😭😭#mike really is his im dying#marvey#gabs watches suits
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Ochh wah a bloody idiot I am…….betruayd me best frend ffor sum shiny new weapons all cos of some shhtupid blody colors…bawgh some friedn I trned oot tae be…!. M jest a oneyed blloody monster wot cannaet stay loyal ta a mate or a team te save me life…cripe wha a sad wallowin lump i am….bloodyy useless….!!…
#tf2#tf2 demoman#tav’s gabs#photavgraphs#//mod note: this is meant to be a photo in context but i can’t do sfm so i drew it instead#//mod note: he was reminded of blu soldier so he got really drunk and miserable about it
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Friendship is simply unfair, don't you think?
#zero escape#zero time dilemma#ztd spoilers#akane kurashiki#junpei tenmyouji#carlos ztd#sigma klim#phi zero escape#diana ztd#sean ztd#mira ztd#eric ztd#delta ztd#zero II#gab ztd#my art#yaayyyy pony time#this started as just a c team thing but then i wanted to draw everyone#this was incredibly fun i love drawing pones#really happy with all the cutie marks too please ask if you want any clarification on their meanings!
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Ingrid and Alpha my belovedts
#ts4#klayde#the sims 4#sims 4#GABS MADE ME MISS THEM#i seriously feel like an ancient being#i forgot how ts4 worked#then i forgot how photoshop worked#and now why does tumblr look like this aaaa#just posting them bec i really missed them ty gabs
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RTGame and Cakejumper?? In MY Minecraft Live???
#kitty gabbing#rtgame#cakejumper#rt#rumble tumble games#cake jumper#minecraft live#i actually really liked minecraft live this year#unfortunately for me i do feel excited for a minecraft movie now#also shenpai was there too i forgot to add them in here
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A comparison of how the southlanders immediately put their guard up against a red name mumbo who was causing havoc in their base, to the mounders who were trying to reason with him and reiterating that they will help him, none of them seriously running away from him even as he was trying to hurt them, with bdubs even handing him some tnt in the most bdubs way possible.
How mumbo kept targeting the southlanders and stopped going after the mounders.
#last life#secret life#mumbo jumbo#gim gabs#bdubs angrily handing mumbo some tnt#also not that he had the chance to go after the mounders anyway#im just feeling wistful really#secret life spoilers#I know its morning#its too early#but what am i gonna do
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hey aro gang? can we collectively make more of an effort to like. advocate for ourselves and our communities and specific identities in ways that aren’t just. actively and openly hostile to other aros or implying or outright stating that they’re harming us or that they have societal and community support they don’t have? like i get it - im non-sam aro, and i relate heavily to a lot of aroallo experiences and it’s really frustrating and hurtful to feel overlooked or erased or anything else, but like. aroaces are not doing anything wrong by talking about their experiences or relating to posts or posting in the aro tag or anything else and it’s getting to a point where im personally getting really uncomfortable seeing people verging on or outright stating that this is the case or that aroaces are some kind of oppressive community force or responsible for the bad experiences of non-ace aros. can we all just cool it a bit please. it’s frustrating and hurtful to feel like you’re being mistreated specifically for not being someone else but that is not that other person’s fault or their identity group’s fault, nor is it always necessarily true. none of us are doing great out here and society at large does not want aroaces to exist or be talked about any more than any of the rest of us i promise.
#gav gab#i don’t even really use aroace as an identifier#i dont identify my sexuality at all outside of my catchall identity term of aro butch#but holy shit some of the stuff ive seen lately#is just. openly and proudly hostile to aroaces for……… existing?#getting any amount of finite scraps of attention anywhere?#posting and tagging posts with what is relevant to them on it? cmon now#NONE of us are doing well#we are all crabs in this buckets please stop with the pulling#aromantic#aro blogging
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Catch me gripping the universe with my bare hands. What do u mean u listen to intent and follow the spirit of the request to the best of your ability and don't monkey's paw the wording. What are you, kind??
#THIS IS JOKING#THIS IS LIGHT HEARTED#listen. i am used to divinity and adjacent entities taking things word for word#im used to loopholes in wording and poking holes in contracts#im used to fine print and conditions and all that gab#so sif going “oh i just wanna be there when bon reunites with their sis” or whatever#GETTING HIM STUCK IN A TIME LOOP BECAUSE THE DESIRE WAS TO STAY WITH EVERYONE ELSE#isat spoilers#before i forget#HAS ME SJBEKFJEBRKXUBENSHSVDBJFYDHSN#LIKE. UNIVERSE TOOK THE WORDS AND READ BETWEEN THE LINES#WHO DOES THAG#SOMEONE THAT CARES???#someone that wants to do right by someone even if theyll never know?#and loop-- dont get me started on that bitch#loop just wanted someone they could relate to#someone to understand them#and the universe really said “what if it was you but before you became you”#fucked up#i cant get the universe's angle#its clumsy and vauge#it tries to be precise i think#but things smear and blur together#theres nuance it must navigate#i dont know how it does#oh fuck this is long#uh#wish.txt#in stars and time#its 1 am i should sleep
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marvel's daredevil — 3.07 charlie cox as matt murdock
#i really like how charlie stopped going for the unrealisticly defined abs by s3#like to do that youd have to dehydrate yourself and... that wouldve been awful#like this is sm more realistic#marvel's daredevil#netflix daredevil#daredevil#matt murdock#charlie cox#gabs' gifs#cc.gif#nmcu.gif#queueture
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