#{ill recognize my icons because i think they are ugly and they are my babies and i love them and thats why they are free}

[thebadtimewolf]

anyway if yall want the free billie icons i made to download as a zips:

lily/brona croft from penny dreadful

betty stevenson from a passionate woman

yerma from yerma

vicky from things to do before you're 30

lillah from two for joy

nicola evans from eternal beauty

karen mars from collateral

grace from beast

hero from shakespeare retold: much ado about nothing

suzie pickles from i hate suzie*

bella from bella and the boys

hannah baxter from secret diary of a call girl

*note: im still adding and making season 2 but season 1 is available.

[xsecretblastsx]

1x07 - Victor, Victrola

Finally! This is one of the most iconic episodes of this show and one I’ve been dying to get to since I’ve started with these recaps, Here we go! 

This one got so long I’ve decided to post it with a keep reading brake. 

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

I love that it opens with a vintage filter, which I don’t think I’ve noticed much the first time. I do remember thinking of this little preview “Guess Chuck’s meeting someone who’ll give him a run for his money”

Also how good is that shot of the those hills climbing up the steps, or maybe is just that I love the shoes

These is one of my all time fave Blair’s school outfits, she looks so pretty, and I love the obnoxiously big red bow.

Things I should have wondered, wasn’t this something Chuck would have show Nate before her? But this scene is a quick way to show that they’re in fact really good friends

“What happens at Victrola stays at Victrola” Not really Chuck, not really

God I hate Nate’s Dad

I don’t know why but I found a bit funny how the Captain’s office has so many little nautical details, kind of oversell

“I think I saw it next to that ambiguous vague shape” hi mom!

Dan lamenting that new Yorkers don’t have cars and therefore teens can’t make out in them, yeah Dan about that…

Nate’s attempt at bribing Jenny it’s so lame it’s almost funny

Chuck casually pointing out to Lilly that she missed a button, oh Lily!

It’s almost endearing to see Chuck put so much effort with his dad and how eager and accommodating he gets when his father says yes.

I love the scenes were Serena and Blair have typical best friends conversations.

OMG I had totally forgot that Dan was reading the Kamasutra in search of inspiration, also getting this anxious and picturing all these scenarios in his head. I feel you dude.

Does that cherry stem trick is actually possible? Ugh why am I even thinking about that.  Though didn’t the show used that bit on a poster?

That dress does looks ugly in a hanger

That was a good analogy of Vanessa’s role in this show.

Lily was so nice to Chuck from the start, as early as this episode, theirs is one of my favorite parental relationship in the show

How does Vanessa knows all about Serena’s hook up history though? Didn’t she went on Gossip Girl or Dan has a big mouth? Well I guess is the same thing.

“Game recognizes Game little J” Oh Blair you have no idea, also no, the Vanderbilt is ring is not the most amazing ring you’ll ever see.

Gotta admire the show’s attention to detail, Serena and Nate may be making out on Dan’s kitchen, but they still use the same background music they used the first time we saw that scene, but relly I had forgot how much fun I laugh with all his imagined scenarios.

For once I actually feel bad for Dan, having your own father tell you to get rid of those sheets. Akward.

Aside from Nate’s dad, and maybe Eleanor everyone else at that dinner really looks like they want to be anywhere else but there.

“I tried Blair” oh please Nate, you call her once, it went to voice mall and you couldn’t bother again, but I guess it was just easier to go to the palace to talk to Serena.

I remember the first time I watched this I was like “Yes Blarir finally! You tell him!

It should have been obvious since earlier in the episode, but when she steps out of that car it was the first moment it hit me that OMG the girl at the start of the episode was Blair! It is funny how while I already knew that now, the same thought kind of hit me again.

YOU GO BABY VAMP!

‘You still would do anything to get a girl on her back though’ it would not be S1 episode without a bit of Lily and Rufus banter

“Nobody’s ever looked at me the way you just did” what a telling line. Though did Dan and Serena did it or not?

Iconic scene is iconic.  Vintage filter and all.

Gossip Girl was never the same again

What a good episode in every way. Normally I always get bored with one of the little subplots, but not on this one. Hell I actually liked Dan and Serena this week, which hadn’t happened like since 1x01, and even then it was with a grain of salt. This episode is also hilarious, I didn’t watch this when it aired so I don’t know if they hinted at Blair and Chuck in one of their promos, but I hoped they didn’t because I like the way the episode flows a lot, we spend the whole episode seeing Dan getting anxious about losing his virginity, and then out of nowhere it’s Blair the one that ends up the night no longer a virgin.

Also I did enjoy this episode so much more this time around not only because well I’m a chair fan but because there are a lot of little details, almost like Easter eggs that point out to the last scene, like Dan pointing out the tragedy of New York’s teens without car where they can make out, or when Serena tells Blair that maybe planning and thinking too much about it may ruin the moments, and then you have Blair at the end of the episode losing her virginity on Limo without planning it at all.

In the Dan and Serena front though this episode is one that gives a bit more insight on the why’s Serena can’t never really forget a about Dan. She had being treated awfully by most guys she ever came across, and Dan’s the first that actually treats her like she’s worth it and worries about her feelings, we know it’s not as perfect as she sees it, he had been pretty judgmental of her in half of the episodes so far, but she doesn’t realize it because she’s used to man objectifying her for a long time now, she doesn’t see her own value, and that’s the tragedy of Serena’s character and why she deserved so much better.

This episode is also the one in which Nate’s family issues get to a boiling point, we finally see the amount of problems Nate’s dad has and why he’s absolute trash, and things are only about to get even worse. Really this episode almost everyone in the parental front is keeping a secret or being in denial, trying to keep the status quo in their lives, in contrast most of the teens are at the verge of really taking a step into action, Nate finally does something to put a stop to his dad lies by getting him arrested, Serena is experiencing a loving relationship for the first time, Dan gets ready to leave his virgin status behind, Chuck is taking his first steps in the business goals and Blair is finally ready to accept that his relationship with Nate must end. In the end though, of course Chuck and Blair went through something else this week.

Honestly, what can I say about Chuck and Blair in this episode that hasn’t been said before. This is the start of one the most iconic couples in T.V. I mean if they were real people this was the night that changed the course of their lives forever, it’s a monumental moment for so many reasons. There’s Blair who up until now, has never contemplated a future that doesn’t includes Nate, but as each previous episode showed holding up to that future gets harder and harder, no matter what she does, he seems farther and farther away from her reach, she tries being sexy,  ruining Serena, elaborate games  and none of it goes, by the time the family dinner comes to be, she’s exhausted, she’s all prim and proper, Vanderbilt ring in her hand and she’s never looked more miserable. And so she lets go of Nate, and goes to the one place she can escape from it ill, it’s a very obvious visual image but still I love the moment the dress came off is the moment one can tell she’s finally free from it all, basking in that relief she said she felt.

So she dances, and she does it for Chuck Bass. It may have happened because of a dare but really it’s almost logical that she let’s all her uptightness on the floor in his company because if one goes back and looks to the previous six episodes she’s at her realest with him, since the first episode he doesn’t sugar coats her thoughts with him, doesn’t pretend to be nicer, makes him a part of her plots and he knows about all her issues with Nate, their friendship is a lowkey constant in the background, and this episode starts with a reminder of that fact, he takes her to Victrola because he trust her judgment above all others, his second toughest critic, only behind his dad. Their friendship is one factor about them that I feel got lost as the season go by, but it’s one of my favorite aspects about them, because that was the very first layer of their relationship.

They probably never thought about their friendship being something especial, about the fact that they shared bits of each other in a way they didn’t do with Nate and Serena, they always had chemistry and in some deep part of their brain they probably knew it all along, but it was much better to ignore it because what was the point, but is funny how as soon as Nate is out of the picture and it’s just them without inhibitions, this happens.

It’s not hard to imagine that Chuck had always thought she was “10 times hotter than pretty much anyone” This is Chuck Bass after all, and he also admired her personality, it wouldn’t surprise me if he thought that Nate was probably the worst match for a girl like Blair, and yet the way he looks at her while she’s dancing, he’s in complete awe of her, he already had her in high regards, but he had no idea that when she lets herself be free she’s the most mesmerazing thing he has seen, and oh how he wants her, it’s written all over his face when he says how amazing she was up there, and Blair who’s used to be unwanted by Nate can’t help but be drawn to it and so she kisses him, and he knows he could go for it and she most likely won’t reject him, still he asks her if she’s sure because he knows that while sex is not a big deal for him, the first time was important to her and how she only tried to rush into it until she felt she was losing, he had first row seats to all the drama that was her relationship with Nate, and so with that little question he lets her know that there’s no pressure, and also a first clear nod to how she’s different for him, he may be all for encouraging a girl to sleep with him, but not this time, and she knows it and she takes the leap, she’s doing this for her, because she wants to, not forcing it as she always had to.

  Iconic scene is iconic.  

Random bits:

I can’t remember if it was mentioned before but Chuck’s line “he was born poor; I was born loaded” is the first mention of the fact that the Basses are new money.

Without you ends up being a really accurate song for their whole relationship.: 

I don't want this moment to ever end Where everything's nothing without you I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile 'Cause it's true: I am nothing without youThrough it all, I made my mistakes I stumble and fall, but I mean these wordsI want you to know: with everything, I won't let this go These words are my heart and soul I'll hold on to this moment, you know 'Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show that I won't let go 

[elegantmess-southernbelle]

Anne with an E: PTSD and YA fiction

This is the age of the Adaptation. The Epoch of the Update.

From movies that resurrect and rework our childhood superheroes, to YouTube channels that modernize our favorite classic novels, we live in an age where the old is being plucked out of the attics of dull documentaries and stodgy classrooms and polished into near-hipster-ish coolness and glamour. Some of my fellow classics fans are appalled. I, however, have fallen in love with shows like Elementary, the Autobiography of Jane Eyre, and now, CBC’s Anne.

Here in the US, the show is “Anne with An E” and premiered only about a week before this posting on Netflix. It’s a short watch so far, 7 episodes, about an hour long, starring Irish-Canadian actress Amybeth McNulty as the plucky, ginger heroine steadily blooming from awkward adolescence to (hopefully, unless the show gets cancelled) wise womanhood. It’s already stirred up some controversy, namely from magazines like Vox, America-The Jesuit Review, and the Federalist, stemming from the distinctly 21st century attitudes of the writing. Many journalists seem horrified by the frank discussions of such troubles as child abuse, bullying and even puberty and sexuality. Accusations have been levied of trying too hard to update a charming and upbeat YA novel from another century.

But, maybe, it’s time for that.

First, let’s talk about the source material.

Published in 1908, Anne of Green Gables was written by Canadian author Lucy Maud Montgomery. It’s a largely optimistic tale of an orphan, Anne Shirley, who has been bounced back and forth between orphanage and unsuitable foster home for much of her life. Due to a miscommunication worthy of Oscar Wilde, she’s delivered to the aging Cuthbert Siblings, gentle Matthew and stern Marilla, who had requested a boy to help with farm work. Despite such a rocky start, the dreamy eyed Anne wins them over and comes to stay. The rest of the book and indeed five other novels focus on her upbringing and eventual marriage and life as a wife and mother. Much humor and wisdom is derived from her clumsiness, her fanciful imagination and her streak of common sense and courage. She isn’t afraid to be smart, or to daydream and become swept away by fantasies, which gets her into a fair amount of scrapes. She’s a reader. She’s kind. She’s good with kids. And, tellingly, she’s one of the earliest examples of the frequently problematic but oft-loved trope, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

Like a Zooey Deschanel role or a Woody Allen heroine, Anne blows into the Cuthberts’ lives like a gale and shakes up their stoic and gloomy existence. She drives Marilla to distraction with her endless chatter and her wild stories, but utterly charms Matthew and nearly everyone else she meets. She even, briefly, has the dyed hair, albeit by accident. This being a time when hair dye was more likely to be sold by peddlers of varying scruples, her dreams of having elegant black hair are dashed when her red hair goes green and must be cropped off to save her reputation. The days of oil slicks and mermaid rainbows might have been a godsend to her, but we would never have gotten one of the best role models for redheads in YA fiction.

But, there has always been an unspoken undercurrent to the story, one that needs to be told. We live in an age where mental illness is no longer a taboo we can lock in the attic or attribute to mere playful notions of romance. It’s mentioned from time to time, that Anne was never more than a servant to the families that took her in. The Cuthberts are the first people to show her affection or kindness. True, she seems to only think of pretty frocks now that she isn’t in hand-me-downs or having a more romantic name than Anne (Cordelia is a reoccurring name, one that appropriately means “heart of a lion”). But, what kind of trauma must come from never having any family except one that uses you as free labor? It’s not uncommon, even in today’s world, where we supposedly have laws that keep us from making the young work when they could be studying. Of all the adaptations of the Anne books, including the scrumptious and beloved 1985 TV Movie starring Megan Follows, this is the first one to really have any eye on Anne’s mental health.

For starters, there are flashbacks to Anne’s days with the Hammonds. Mr. Hammond is an alcoholic, who abuses his wife and probably the rest of the family. Mrs. Hammond is an overworked mother of eight, who takes her frustrations out on Anne. Anne, for her part, is beaten, forced to cook and clean and tend to babies, until the death of Mr. Hammond, when she is unceremoniously shipped back to the orphanage. After all, as Mrs. Hammond coldly points out, she’s “not kin” and the family is moving in with other relatives. There’s hints that this isn’t the first time Anne’s been rejected either. Orphanages in those days were little better than a storage facility for unwanted children, with little quality of life or education. Anne’s first day of school is miserable, as she’s woefully behind in some subjects.

Her arrival at Green Gables begins with her meeting with Matthew. True to the novel, she talks a steady stream of heartfelt poetry, renaming the landscape with epithets that wouldn’t be out-of-place in a fairy tale. Matthew is utterly enchanted by her, which makes Marilla’s cold, shocked and horrified reception that much harder on her. Marilla points out that they wanted a boy, not a girl. Anne is so devastated, she falls to her knees. I can’t say I blame her. It’s not presented as the melodramatic act that the novel shows. It’s genuine defeat and misery that she can’t just bottle up. There’s a hint that she believed this was going to be the forever home she always wanted.

You see, this show is written with a clear eye for the effects of PTSD. Anne has never been shown any love. Her whole life, she’s been bullied, whether for her creative mind or simply because she was there and made a “good target”. Anne knows what love looks like, because it’s the opposite of everything she’s ever experienced. When Marilla, spurred on by the suspicions and gossip of others believes Anne to have stolen a treasured brooch, Anne lies just to be allowed to stay, only to be nearly shipped back to the orphanage. Even after Marilla accepts the truth and the Cuthberts welcome her and, symbolically, all her odd little ideas and ideals, she is so painfully eager to please that she often comes out clear on the other side. Her desperation to befriend the school bully starts a scandal when she lets it slip that she knows a bit about sex after overhearing the Hammonds. No-one apart from Matthew and Marilla seem to care that it isn’t her fault. She’s only seen as a bad influence and banished for a time from the company of other girls. If not for her bravery, quick thinking, and insatiable literacy during a fire, she might have been alone for good.

It’s also the catalyst for one of the most iconic scenes in the novel, as it translates on screen. In the novel, classmate Gilbert Blythe tugs Anne’s hair and calls her Carrots. In a fit of temper, Anne shouts him down and cracks him over the head with her slate. In this adaptation, the reasoning is expanded. Ruby, one of the other girls in class, has a huge crush on Gilbert. By their social laws, that means he’s Ruby’s and no other girl can associate with him, lest it be seen as flirting. Anne immediately decides that this means she can’t talk to him at all. However, Gilbert finds Anne too intriguing to leave alone. He fights for her attention and her reaction is less one of hate for drawing attention to her appearance and more one of fear. She doesn’t want to be shunned again, so she lashes out in alarm. It’s an act that some with PTSD might recognize, the act of overcompensating in stressful moments.

There are other changes made, characters, personalities, plot points, but the main change is the darkness of the story. This is the world according to Anne. It’s frequently terrifying, ugly and often cruel, but there is love and hope. Each episode, we can see a bit of the healing in Anne’s heart. Every kindred spirit she finds, every triumph, and every lesson fills in the cracks, taking her from a half-wild and extremely broken girl, to one who can stand on her own two feet. Her eccentricities aren’t idleness and flightiness as the early 20th century saw them, but coping mechanisms that protected her from collapsing. Her reflection in the mirror is her dearest confidante. She names and speaks to animals and trees. Frequently, she chooses to be another person in a fairy tale of her own making, the wise and beautiful Princess Cordelia. When she can’t have the beautiful gowns and hats she’s longed for, she picks wildflower crowns and drapes herself in a lace bedspread. These aren’t perfect, but, as anyone with a mental illness will tell you, coping methods rarely make sense to anyone else and are frequently inconvenient.

My point is this: Anne with An E is the kind of show that a lot of young people need these days. The times are such that we can’t lock mental illness up in an attic or dress it up and call it whimsy. We live in an age where we know more about the human mind and how to treat it, but we still have so much social stigma to break. So, maybe, with this interpretation of Anne– not a rewrite, but a retelling– we can show that this has always been here and that none of it makes the sufferer any less amazing or lovable. It’s a needful message for Millennials and Gen Y’s. “You can be loved, no matter where you wear your scars.” Anne is, as the theme song states, “ahead by a century” and maybe, secretly, she always was.