#{Ask Shenangians}

[vinelark]

🕷️ Recommend something of the asker's choice -- favorite identity shenanigans fic(s)?

i really was going to just recommend one, but i got...a bit carried away. here are two timkons, two superbats, some general batfams, and one absolute wildcard with svsss to cover every possible vibe here.

been a number and a name by @wynterstars, a timkon 90s period piece chock full of identity shenanigans and kon angst and platform boots; i adore the first two installments and am eagerly subscribed to the ongoing third installment.

call me cute and feed me sugar by @suzukiblu, a timkon wip in which tim, upon finding out kon is still relying on cadmus for room & board, accidentally-on-purpose becomes a 15 y/o sugar daddy. notably, kon does not know this rich tim drake kid is also robin.

the long hangover by @coffiocake, in which superbat somehow end up dating in all permutations before the full realizations hit; an excellent identity shenanigans longfic to settle in with for a night or two.

How to Date the Batman by @solomonara (+ the whole series), a superbat fic where most of the identity shenanigans are about them dating while other people don't know their secret identities; place of honor on this list for the chapter 3 jason & clark scene especially.

Say Uncle by @megaerakles, a batfam fic in which tim's harebrained fake uncle scheme gets even more harebrained when he hires jason todd to be his fake uncle; the multiple layers of identity shenanigans from tim pretending not to know who jason is + both of them pretending not to know tim is robin + tim actually not knowing jason is red hood yet are endlessly entertaining.

Top 10 Secret Identity Fails by @havendance, in which helena bertinelli is tim drake's new english teacher. cue a delightful fic of tim panicking for 2.5k words while helena is just trying to do her job (and worry a bit about robin).

love and bruises by @transdickiebird & @homobiwan, a laugh-out-loud and also genuinely sweet fic in which recently adopted jason todd thinks bruce and batman are two different people who happen to be dating each other, and jason is not thrilled about it.

wild card: The Best Luo Binghe by Neery, a svsss au in which pidw!luo binghe gets transported to a strange fertility celebration (fan convention), which is tbh a typical side quest for luo binghe until he meets a guy cosplaying as shen qingqiu, who has no clue he's talking to the real luo binghe. i think about this one every so often because 1) it's great and 2) it fully leans into the absolute bonkers metahumor potential of its source material. (which also means it will probably be incomprehensible if you're not familiar with svsss, but in that case just trust me that it's fun.)

[fic rec ask game]

[hellofriendhawke]

Though there seems no continuation plans for that DP comic you just dropped, would you be willing to share any storyline? I’m INVESTED 👀❤️

Oh god its kills me how I want to draw the whole thing out, and maybe one day? But honestly I don't think it will happen any time soon if at all soooo...

The story is that between the first and second page, Danny is unknowingly dipped into another dimension where instead of going thru the portal w/ Sam and Tucker behind him, he went in alone. This alternate version of him didn't tell anyone about his powers and after the first fight he had he decided he was too much of a risk and ran away. Thus Sam and Tucker telling *our* Danny he's been missing for two years. (so theyre 16 here)

The comic would cover Danny trying to pass as this other Danny, him meeting the other Danny, and trying to get back to his dimension. Its suppose to be very touching and heartfelt yada yada I have the first chapter sketched out but its like 20 pages and he hasn't even met the other danny yet 😭

This is the title part I made. The name comes from a twilight zone episode that I thought fit rlly well. I've also posted a lot of concept art like floor plans and shit cuz I *needs* that stuff when I'm making comics.

also had another comic idea that I'll never get to where a villain starts turning ghosts into horrible monster creatures and Danny gets turned into one, which is suppose to be much spookier but still fun.

I'm gonna give myself some more time to see how feasible it would be to make the comics and if not I will probs shit out all my brain splatters about it onto tumblr :p Thank you so much for asking about it 🥺👉👈

[just-a-normal-regretter]

A cursed theory that I must share.

Odd knows how to throw himeslf off a moving vehicle with minimal injuries.

And that got me thinking.

Why was he sent to Kadic? Why did his parents never question where kiwi is? They had to know about the no dogs thing. (Unless this was adressed between them off screen, in which case why was there no effort to visit and take Kiwi home?)

So a theory for you: Odd was a vigilante of some kind. (Boy had a tail on Lyoko and no balance problems. He clearly is trained in some way. Maybe a magical girl esc situation or something but still. That is not a normal reaction to suddenly having a new limb you can control. Unless it isn't new.)

Or maybe he is trying very hard to keep some powers a secret.

I mean. Aelita had a little elf toy and became an elf on lyoko. Yumi is Japanese and being geisha is a normal, respected job that many aspire to be. Ulrich is a samurai, and by golly aren't Samurai cool people who protect others and work under a lord (bit of a stretch but he's a teenager. With a dad like that I would not be surprised if there was a little escapism involved.) William just got a BFS and really. What teenager would not go wild for a cool sword (seriously the thing reminds me of final fantasy 7).

Then there's Odd. The purple I can get. But the cat never gets an explanation, given the scanner wasn't active while Kiwi was in there. Add in that weird purple no explanation given ever spot in his hair and something doesn't add up. (Yes Aelita's hair is pink but redheads exist so I can see the leap given nobody questions it. People question Odd's hair.)

So really. Something is up with this boy's history. I personally believe superhero of some kind (magical girl esc shenanigans included) or escaped experiment.

What do you think?

Sorry for the late response but anon, you could totally make an AU out of this haha (magical girl-verse or general superhero/escaped experiment tomfoolery). Honestly you could probably spin the magical girl AU quite a bit with Kiwi playing as the Familiar, or even play on the escaped experiment idea and twist it around a bit with series lore

Theory-wise can't be too crazily sold on it. Odd's parents aren't the most observant of their kids (and canon pretty much makes it seem like they're so busy they don't really keep an eye on what goes on in their kids lives) so I imagine what is happening with Kiwi slips under the rug. That and perhaps Odd's sisters don't want to admit they let their little brother sneak off with the family dog, either out of sibling comrodery or they don't want to get in trouble for this as well lol

I've seen some authors like to offer the headcanon that Odd likes to dye his hair (I'm one of those writers haha, Evolution may have been extremely shaky but there are some ideas that can certainly work etc etc Odd having brunet hair is one of them). The kid loves to dress up in flamboyant colors, bright pink, yellow, purple, you get the idea. Part of me likes to think it's to attract attention, he is just one of six kids after all (mind you the only boy and the youngest of the bunch too). I'm sorta headcanon-posting about Odd's parents being emotionally neglectful. I mean it's also kinda out there in the episode. Sure they "care" on the surface level but they don't really offer much structure? They let him loose, offer unconditional love without any set rules. Obviously there's a fine line given the other side of the spectrum is like, say, Ulrich's family (or father in particular) for example. But too much care without guidance can leave kids feeling in the dark and truly not cared for. Especially if they see other kids actually having that healthy relationship/boundaries taught to them (I hope I'm conveying this all right lmao)

Anyhow! Back to this and off the headcanon tangent, I imagine Lyoko grants some knowledge on how to use their abilities. Or at least, kinda like ingrained instincts already despite not having much experience with them just yet. I like to point out how easy it was for Yumi to wield her fans, or for Ulrich to instantly know how to use super sprint in the prequel, even the contested shield of Odd's just showed up out of nowhere there lol. The tail not causing balance issues is probably one of the instinctual things, just like how Odd can go back and forth from cat paws to human hands without batting an eye. This could also just thrive in your theory/AU either way haha

I've heard some suggestions that Kiwi shed some fur in the scanner Odd went in right before he was virtualized for the first time, so maybe that could lend some idea to his form? This one is the weakest out of the bunch though, especially given dog fur really doesn't equal cat. Cats are flexible and agile though (they love to sleep and eat, they're very playful despite not knowing when to hold back at times, I own two cats atm so this is my own observations leaking over haha), Odd fits the bill, and he's an animal lover (or a dog lover, I forget if the show has mentioned if he just doesn't like cats or whatnot it's been a while). I remember bits and pieces of cats having a sixth sense (not really but people like to say they do) so that can line up with Future Flash, Odd's a gamer which is my only decent excuse for laser arrow lmfao Thank you for your ask! Sorry about the bit of delay but it was very fun chatting and thinking about all of this :)

[reluctanttrabbit]

Vanny Vanny I'm curious-

Who do you think the protagonist of HW2 is? Do you have one solid prediction? Any ideas for how the plot might go?

No specific reason, I just wanna know your thoughts on it :]

hrmmm i've always been bouncing back and forth between vanessa and cassie. no solid evidence for either of them but IN MY HEART i hope its vanessa. if its her i would be soooo annoying about it

as for the plot...

in the case that the protag is vanessa, i think it would basically be a prequel to security breach. i think it would be right after she got possessed and would just follow her trying to fight back from glitchtrap. BUT. now she has a new sidekick to help her: this arcade-game prodigy called GGY. hm..

but if cassie were the protag, i think it would revolve around her somehow fusing ar with vr?? the mask is permanently on her, and her main goal is to just get out and find gregory. but this isn't easy since the mimic/glitchtrap is basically everywhere she goes. eventually she finds out gregory was GGY at some point, and is now manipulated into becoming vanni cassie!!!

these are still just predictions, so i would be excited if i got some things right :333

[pocketramblr]

An AU about someone being lost at sea, please.

oooooh fun prompt ok

1- After Tien's death, Kaladin just... leaves. he supposes he's a deserter, but he doesn't care. He just runs, like the wind, away. No one catches him, most hardly see him. If they do, he just seems like an exhuasted traveler not to be bothered. He keeps going, until he's away from Sadeas princedom, away from all of the pointless, terrible Alethi squabbles.

2- He ends up in Thaylenah for a bit, offers his skills as a guard, a fighter, and on rare occasion, a medic. People are initially wary of the tall Alethi man, but Kaladin is honorable and there's just something about him that... draws people in. Eventually, he ends up helping protect merchant ships, and finds he likes being on the sea- he can race up the rope ladders and leap from mast to mast like a windspren, and it's almost like he's flying. He becomes protective of the crew, especially the younger boys, and he does what he can to make their lives easier.

3- But then, tragedy strikes. Kaladin is, as is so often the case, the only survivor of the crew. He barely manages to get the merchant to a safe shore before passing out. People are wary of him again, that a ship with an Alethi went down, even if the merchant is sure about him having nothing to do with it, trying to get everyone to safety. Kal quietly moves on, between a few other ships.

And then it happens again.

4- Kaladin, alone now on a smaller boat, just him and a single windspren. The others left when there were no sails to fill, but this one stayed, dancing around him still. Kaladin half thinks he's gone mad from dehydration when she speaks to him, tells him which way to paddle his makeshift plank of an oar, to one of the several tiny islands that dot the seas from the mainland. It has plants on it, she says, and though they hunker down for highstorms, they don't know to be wary of human footsteps- he can get some food.

Kaladin, at that reminder, asks when the next highstorm is- it can't be too long from now, surely. The windspren flits nervously and says she doesn't know- but he has to try.

On that little island he huddles under his overturned boat, clutches the rockbuds he'd harvested with numb fingers, and tries not to drown.

Somehow, he doesn't.

5- Kaladin learns the area, what coves to hide in, what to avoid, where to harvest. He's quite sure he's hallucinating Sylphrena, though she's very put out whenever he says that- but then one day, a ship passes and- he has to try. He paddles close enough to see the Thaylen sailors, who immediately hail him and help him up.

The man who pulls his half-starved form over the boat says his name is Yalb, and that between Kaladin and the princess's ward, he's quite had his fill of Alethi Recklessness today.

Kaladin isn't sure what to say to that, and just looks past him to see a young woman with flaming red hair gaping at him, and beyond that- a very rich lighteyes lady staring at him- and Sylphrena on his shoulder- with a little too much contemplation.

[the-sunshine-dragon]

G, 2, and 3 for the Photocard game!

[fastfists]

🌈💚 for knux because goofy ass sibling hour

✧ 📜 Relationship Emoji Ask Meme ✧ 🌈: sibling-like 💚: extended family

Honestly, yes. I love this dynamic for them...just, the antics both could get into and the shenanigans to be had. Very much have their serious heartfelt moments...but also? Bantering, sassing one another, and just chaos at times. Would defend each other but also would probably also trade each other off for a corn chip (but not really). Plus, tons of teasing one another over anything...like crushes or such...but all in good fun too. Would also root for one another to confess but also be 'they hurt you I murder them'. Just, their dynamic would be endless in my opinion...so so so many things they could get up to with one another and I am here for it.

[bowlerhatwearer]

*puts the demon core in your inbox*

Et tu Moth?

You are putting also one of those horrible radioactive cores into my inbox???

Oh why oh why, what have I done to deserve this?

Is it because I don't support Grem eating demon cores???

Now my inbox is back again were it was before...no, it is even worse, now there are THREE demon cores here.

This is a tragic day for my inbox.

/joking

Yours sincerely

Bowler

[Who writes this messages at an safe location that is not contaminated.]

[achrisiss]

asdf rather your headcanon of Cotton joining Sherbet as one with the snow XD

Grandma is getting colder :'D

OH SHIT SORRY i kinda forgot i made that post,, grandma cottons finna become snow soon you cant prevent it

might write a fic about it when i have time though thats probably unlikely

[mossy-paws]

wyr have the power to blow up anything you point at or be able to duplicate any item you want at will

You said *any* item, correct?

[missmonsters2]

Mirror, Mirror | Four

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

PART THREE

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: It's becoming more apparent how badly Wanda wants you that she's sure she's going crazy. Now with a fake date on hand, Wanda's not sure which is worse: the fact she's too in love with you to pretend to be interested in someone else, or that her big mouth has potentially put her in a deep(er) hole.

Warnings: best friends to lovers. shenanigans. jealousy, jealousy. sexual tension. pining. yearning. sexual thoughts. spicy (tumblr's version). stupid steve. neurotic nat. brat & stinky. bug as in shutterbug.

*explicit version will only be available on Ao3 & will be posted there after series is completed*

Note: the pre-shenanigans to the shenangians. Hope y'all enjoy heh.

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Series Masterlist || Library Blog || AO3

Count: ~4.8k

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Wanda lies in bed, unable to sleep, staring into the dark. She can barely make out the ceiling and idly thinks about buying blackout curtains.

As the party gets closer, the more Wanda starts to feel more anxious. She's experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions in the last few days, oscillating between excitement at the prospect of making you jealous and then feeling anxious at the thought you might not. 

The entire thing is starting to feel like a bad idea, but Wanda doesn't know what to do. If she calls it off, you'll ask why, and Wanda's still too scared to admit her feelings to you. Or what if you end up thinking that Wanda wasn't actually capable of dating girls?

These repetitive lines of thought would make Wanda feel nauseated. She wishes you would simply wake up and realize your feelings for her. Wanda's never had to really chase anyone before, and chasing you is probably the hardest thing she's doing, but if it works out, then it'll also be the best thing she's ever done. 

Wanda sits up, her knees pulled to her chest, as she hears shuffling around her door before a knock. 

"Come in," Wanda clears her throat, pulling the blanket slightly higher up. Her heart is racing, some of it from an irrational fear of it being a murderer, and some of it knowing it was you on the other side. 

When the door opens, you step in before closing the door behind you. You're in your PJs, another oversized shirt, and Wanda can't tell if you're wearing pants or not.

"Hey," Wanda smiles but realizes you can't make out the details of her face in the dark so far away. "What's wrong? It's so late, why aren't you sleeping?"

You don't answer her initially, letting the silence nip at Wanda's growing unease. Before she can say anything else, you finally speak.

"Don't do it."

"Huh?" Wanda's confused, shifting in the bed to sit closer to the end, closer to you. "What are you—"

"Don't do it," you repeat. "Don't go on a date with Darcy."

Wanda's heart leaps in her chest, and she needs to blink multiple times because there's no way you're saying that, right? There's no way you're telling her not to do this because would that mean—

"I think I'm going crazy," you mutter as you push yourself off the door and make your way toward her. 

"What do you mean?" Wanda asks nervously but excited as you climb onto the bed until you're face to face with her. 

As you get closer, Wanda can make out your silhouette and the expression of desire on your face. She can feel your breath on her face lightly, and it's minty and warm. 

"I can't stop thinking about you," you admit, and your tone is nervous but desperate. "The more I think about you going on a date with a girl, the more I hate it."

"You do?" Wanda bites her bottom lip. She wants to feel hopeful, but your words are leaving too much open for interpretation. 

You place your hand on Wanda's cheek, something you've done so many times before, but it feels different now. Every touch you give her feels electric and wired like you're grazing every nerve along her skin. 

Wanda's heart is thudding painfully inside her chest. It pounds like it wants to jump out of her chest and into your hands, making a home in your warmth and softness. 

Your thumb presses against her lips, getting Wanda to release her bottom lip from her teeth. "Yeah," you breathe like your heart is pounding too. "I hate it...because if you're going to date a girl, it should be me."

When your lips descend upon Wanda's, she thinks she might actually die. Your lips are soft and warm, inviting Wanda to kiss you deeper. When Wanda pushes against you eagerly, you open your mouth slightly, your tongue swiping at her bottom lip softly.

Arousal shoots through Wanda, hot and needy. She can't help the small moan that leaves her mouth, and her head is completely dizzy with want. 

You take the noise as an open invitation, using your weight to push Wanda back onto the bed, straddling her lap, and keeping yourself up on your elbow. 

The kiss feels never-ending, with it only ever stopping for a second for air before coming back for more. You kiss her until her lips are swollen and Wanda's throbbing for more. 

When your lips start kissing the edge of her jaw and down her throat, Wanda doesn't feel like she's going to make it. Just this, and it feels like too much and too little at the same time. 

"I don't think I can give you to anyone," you mumble against the skin of her collarbone. "How could I let anyone touch you like this?"

Your fingers are fiddling with the edge of her shirt before they trail along the bare skin of her stomach.

"More, more, more," Wanda's muttering with her eyes closed. She can't open them—it'd be too much. Her toes are curled in anticipation. 

Your hands brush the underside of her breast, and Wanda's breath hitches. You kiss places that Wanda hasn't been kissed in a long time. Your fingers trail and touch places only Wanda's hand has been in lately. It feels completely different under your touch, working Wanda up into a spot just between the edge and falling. 

Wanda's been moaning and muttering pleas for you to give her more, but you seem steadfast and taking things at your pace. Even Wanda can't rush you into enjoying and exploring her body. 

"I think I've always been yours," your lips brush against Wanda's. "And you've always been my best friend. But now, you're just mine—mine in every way."

Wanda agrees. She agrees wholeheartedly and enthusiastically. She'll agree to anything you say if you just give her what she wants. It's finally rewarding her to be agreeable with you, and just as she's about to get what she wants, your mouth opens, and music comes out. 

Wanda wakes up. 

The faint light in her room is disorienting, and her head is still heady with desire. The music is still playing, and Wanda turns over to grab her phone, unplugging it from her charger. 

7:06AM.

Turning off her alarm, Wanda tosses her phone to the side of her bed, falling back into her pillow. She stares at the ceiling, now able to make out every single detail on it with daylight.

Wanda's body is aching, and the region between her legs is still throbbing. Arousal was still trickling through her, and Wanda knew there wouldn't be enough time this morning to take care of it. 

Wanda grabs the pillow beside her, smushing it to her face as she lets out a muffled scream and a long line of obscenities before she gets up. 

The day would surely be long with arousal edging her.

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It's been somewhat awkward to meet your eyes the last few days since that sex dream. Once the hazy lust cleared from her mind, Wanda could actually realize how mortifying it was to want you so badly that it was affecting her sleep. 

Wanda tries to play it off as just being distracted, but she can tell you're starting to think something's wrong. Still, it was too difficult to look you directly in the eyes. Every time she did, she could clearly remember her erotic dream. 

The way your eyes looked at her with such intensity, which was only heightened by the dark. She could still feel how warm your body was and how minty your kiss was. Goosebumps would form on her arm when she thought about how your lips were both liquid fire and icy cold against her skin. 

The entire thing would get Wanda so riled up that sometimes she needed to leave your vicinity and go on a walk to cool herself down. 

It was the day of the party, and the dream was finally tapering off enough that Wanda could look you in the eyes again. You seemed perplexed but relieved by the change, and you didn't push the issue since Wanda hadn't seemed upset with you. 

The morning of Tony and Pepper's party, you and Wanda are running around the apartment trying to get everything in order for different things. 

"Did you grab the present?" 

"Um," you scrunch your nose. "Yes, it's here."

"Awesome, can you bring it with you? I'll lose it if I bring it with me," Wanda says while carefully putting on mascara in front of her standing mirror. 

"What do you mean? I thought you were coming with me to pick Raye up?" You ask while looking for the ring you always wear on your middle finger. 

"Um, no," Wanda's half-distracted, but it's good timing as she finishes her mascara. "I'm meeting Darcy for coffee before the party."

You're looking for your ring in Wanda's room because you vaguely recall leaving it there yesterday night when you were drinking tea with Wanda and chatting in her room. You pause your search and look at Wanda with a confused face.

"You haven't met her yet?"

"I will be in," Wanda pauses and pulls out her phone, "a couple minutes. She just texted that she's pulling up."

"What if you don't get along with her? I thought she was coming to the party," you ask, seemingly concerned about everything.

"Then I'll find out since I have an hour with her before the party. If I don't like her, then I'll Uber to the party alone," Wanda shrugs. Besides, it didn't matter if Wanda liked Darcy or not. As long as Darcy wasn't a raging asshole with boundary issues, then it would be fine. They were both aware this date was a farce. 

"Are you sure you don't want me to tag along? What if she's, like, a serial killer or something?" You frown, and Wanda can't help but laugh.

"I don't think Nat would be working with a serial killer," Wanda shakes her head at your nonsense. "We're going to be at the Starbucks near Tony's house. I have my location on, so you can check it to make sure we're not deviating on the road."

You're about to say something else when the buzzer at your door rings. 

"Can you let her in through the front doors? I should be ready by the time she's at our door," Wanda asks as she turns back to the mirror, applying the last touches to her match-up.

"Sure," you say, somewhat huffy, but leave. 

It takes a few minutes, but Wanda eventually hears knocking and the door opening. The words exchanged between you and Darcy are muffled, but Wanda finishes, giving herself one last look in the mirror and running her fingers through her hair. As she's leaving, she finds the ring you were looking for on her desk and takes it with her. 

As she enters the living room, Wanda sees Darcy immediately and assesses right away that the other woman is drop-dead gorgeous. She has dark curled hair with warm undertones in the light. Her makeup was simple, with an accentuated dark red lipstick. 

"Wow," Darcy smiles as she catches eyes with Wanda, and you turn to look at her. "Natasha didn't do you justice with the photo she sent."

"You got a photo?" Wanda smiles back, able to tell that the compliment was sincere. "I didn't get anything. That seems unfair."

"Well," Darcy drags out. "Sent is a generous word. Natasha brought in a photo album. I'm sorry to say I have seen your high school and university pictures."

Wanda groans as she stands beside you, passing your ring into your palm. The entire action is wordless, which Darcy takes note of. 

"You shall speak nothing of these photos," Wanda warns the other girl playfully. "And just for that, you're buying coffee."

Darcy lets out a laugh, adjusting her glasses. "Alright, Natasha did warn me you were sassy. Let's go get our luxury coffee that will be my treat."

Wanda turns to you, and you're smiling, but it seems tight. "I'll see you at the party?" 

"Of course," you tell her before scrutinizing Darcy. "I'll see you in an hour on the dot."

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"So," Darcy says as they're both holding their coffees. "That's the girl you're in love with?"

"Yes," Wanda sighs, finding it somehow easier to admit to a stranger that she's in love with you. Like, really insanely in love with you.

"You're playing it pretty cool. I gotta give you props for that," Darcy nods, sipping her drink. 

"Do you think so?" Wanda asks, and then her eyes brighten. "Do you think she looked jealous at all? I thought she might've looked a little off or being overprotective, but then again, that could also be her just being my best friend. But she's never really acted this way before. Well, she does make sure she always knows my location for dates. But I don't know, it felt like she was being—"

"Oh my god," Darcy cuts Wanda off, blinking at the word vomit. "You're actually insanely in love with her. Emphasis on the insane."

Wanda huffs. "I know," she sighs. "I'm going crazy and I just want to know if she could feel the same way about me...without asking, obviously."

"Obviously," Darcy repeats with a smirk. "Alright, let's go over a game plan for today then. We want to show off just enough that maybe it'll make your best friend jealous but also not too much that it'll be weird if we don't have a second date. No offense and all, you're hot, but I only signed up for one date."

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You and Raye are already at the party when Wanda and Darcy arrive. 

"Ugh, great," Wanda grunts. "Little Miss Southern Belle is here."

"You mean Raye?" Darcy stares in the same direction and sees her coworker. "She's really nice and funny."

"Hey, you're my date," Wanda narrows her eyes. "And she's my enemy."

Darcy just raises her brow in response but says nothing. 

"Wanda!" You call and wave the two of them over. 

"Alright, we got this," Darcy looks over at Wanda, and they nod subtly at each other. 

As they make their way over, Wanda can tell you're assessing them, but Wanda merely gives another nod that she's okay, which you seem conflicted about. 

"Hey, Darcy," Raye greets her with a smile and a hug. "Fancy seein' you around here. You sure you're not using another pretty girl to sneak into a party?"

Wanda knows the comment is a compliment to her. Darcy is right that Raye is genuinely nice, and Wanda knows that Raye's eager to get along with Wanda since she's your best friend. Wanda knows all of this, but the comment still makes her bristle. 

"I actually know Tony and Pepper, too," Darcy says casually after they pull apart from their hug, her lips in a half-quirk. "I've done some work for them before."

"What exactly is it that you do?" You ask.

"Cyber security," Darcy answers. "Although that may sound exciting, it's not much day to day."

"Bug was telling me over here that you two went on a date!" Raye smiles even wider. 

Now she was even calling you Bug? She wasn't even there when your nickname came to be. She should create her own nickname, or better yet, just use your government name. 

"That we did," Darcy says when Wanda doesn't reply. "It was pretty decent," Darcy says with a half-quirk of her lips, indicating that it was more than decent, and Wanda remembers that she needs to smile too.

"I'm just surprised that you didn't go and scare her off with your personality," Raye smirks at Darcy before she looks back at Wanda. "Everyone knows Darcy at work to be blunt and sarcastic. She usually scares away all the cute interns."

"I thought she was hilarious," Wanda smiles somewhat tightly back. 

"Thank you!" Darcy cuts in dramatically, grabbing Wanda's hand. "I knew someone would inevitably see my charm. Are you thirsty? Let's go get a drink."

Darcy's about to drag you off when you suddenly grab Wanda's other hand, stopping them.

"Wait," your eyes are wide as if you're surprised yourself. "There's a videographer hired for the party. Everyone is supposed to go on camera to do a short video to say something to Tony and Pepper. I thought we should do ours together since we got their gift together."

Wanda turns back to Darcy, who looks confused and amused by the situation. 

"Alright," Darcy lets go of Wanda's hand. "I'll be waiting by the bar for you. C'mon, Raye, I'll buy you a drink."

"It's a free bar, Darcy."

"I know, I'm too generous."

With that, Wanda is alone with you as you drag her towards the videographer.

"Are you okay?" Wanda asks.

"Why wouldn't I be?" You say lightly.

"I don't know," Wanda flexes her fingers in your hand. "Feels like you don't like Darcy."

"I like her just as much as you like Raye."

Wanda grunts at that. She's told you multiple times that she's neutral about Raye. Wanda doesn't dislike her, but she has no reason to like her. It's all a lie, of course. Wanda fuckings hates Raye and wishes the other girl would evaporate. 

The second the camera points at their faces, the two of you smile brightly as you wish Tony and Pepper another 10 years of happy marriage so they can have this party again and continue to wish them a happy marriage in 10-year increments. 

As soon as it's finished, You and Wanda seem to be dragging your feet to get to the bar.

"So," Wanda drags out before taking a deep breath and looking at you. You stare back at her, and Wanda has to bite her tongue to say she just utterly loves you, and they should both ditch their dates. "What do you think?"

"Of what?" You mumble as you look away.

"Does it look weird? Me being with a girl?" 

Wanda can notice how you visibly clench your jaw, something you do when thinking about your next words carefully. 

"No," you say slowly, "but you don't look any happier."

"I don't?" Wanda hums. "Darcy and I have a lot in common. She's really funny too. Besides, it's not like I'm gunning to settle down with Darcy. It could just lead to having fun."

You're silent after that, and Wanda looks at your face. You seem contemplative, but she can't read your expression further than that, so she looks away.

"I'm probably going to be home late tonight," you say after a moment, and Wanda turns her head towards you again.

"Going to be with Raye?" Wanda asks, trying to make sure she sounds airy and light, but her stomach knots tight.

"Yes," you answer, and there's not a particular inflection in your tone, leaving Wanda with no clue about how you feel. 

"Sounds great," Wanda puts on a fake smile and picks up her pace to meet Darcy and Raye at the bar.

"Oh, you're back," Raye smiles at you, her pearly white teeth showing. Her cheeks are a dusty pink from the champagne she's been drinking as she drapes her arms over you, tilting her head to the side. "Wanna be naughty and steal a tray with bacon-wrapped scallops?"

Wanda has to resist the urge to loudly gag as you chuckle. 

"I got you a drink," Darcy catches Wanda's attention. "One of those fruity cocktails that will definitely lead us to make bad decisions if we have three more."

Wanda smiles sultrily as she opens her body language toward Darcy, pointing to the maraschino cherry in Darcy's drink. Darcy nods that she can have it, and Wanda seductively eats the cherry before she sticks the stem into her mouth, rolling it around with her tongue before the end of the stem pops back out of her mouth. Wanda grabs it with her fingers, the other end gripped by her teeth as she pulls and tightens the visible knot. 

"Wanna have four and see what happens?" Wanda smirks. 

From the corner of Wanda's eyes, she can see that you saw and heard everything. Your face is expressionless as you walk off with Raye, and Wanda wants to scream with frustration.

Was that a jealous expressionless look or an indifferent expressionless?

Once they are out of earshot, Darcy snorts. "Remember when I said you're playing it cool? I take it back. You're a hot mess. You look like you're always two seconds away from pulling out Raye's 250 individual extensions."

Their conversation is briefly interrupted by the videographer as he comes up to the bar. "Hey, man," he says to the bartender. "Do you mind if I leave my camera here for a second? I really need to run to the toilet and can't leave it on the table. These kids are surprisingly grabby with their sticky hands."

"Sure, dude," the bartender agrees, and the videographer runs off after he sets down the camera a foot away from Wanda.

Wanda stirs her drink with her straw aggressively, and some ice falls out of her glass.

"I don't see what's so great about Raye," Wanda huffs. "Sure, she's pretty, and I guess she's funny. But so what? She's clearly selfish. Who the hell steals a whole tray of bacon-wrapped scallops?! Those are the best appetizers!"

Wanda throws the straw aside and drinks her fruity cocktail in one go. 

"Man, you are so down bad," Darcy shakes her head. "At least you don't seem completely alone in it."

"Really?" Wanda brightens. "Why? Does she look jealous?"

"Well," Darcy sighs. "I don't know about jealous, but your friend definitely doesn't like me. Every time she smiles at me, it's a tight-lipped smile that seems to be a thinly veiled way of saying she doesn't think I'm good enough for you."

Wanda slumps. "That's nothing new. All the people I date get that look."

"Where's Natasha when I need her?" Wanda looks around but finds the redhead with Tony and Pepper. She seems to sense someone is looking at her, locks eyes with Wanda, and waves and winks.

"Listen," Darcy grabs Wanda's attention back. "Maybe you should just tell your friend your feelings. What's the worst that could happen?"

"She would know about my feelings and reject me," Wanda deadpans.

"Okay...so how exactly to plan to get with—how did you describe it at the café? The love of your life and the mother to your future children."

Wanda sighs. "I don't know. I know I should confess, but it's harder than you think. There are moments when she gets me so riled up that I wanna scream in her perfect face that I love her and probably always have, and then kiss her until we lose a couple brain cells from lack of oxygen. Then, I get so scared that she won't feel the same way and the moment dies like my will to live every time I see her with Raye."

"But you won't know until you actually say something," Darcy cocks her brow. "What if she does feel the same?"

"Then she wouldn't be with Raye!" Wanda snips but then takes a deep breath. "Sorry, it's just been hard lately. I feel like this whole fake dating scheme Nat cooked up is a bust. You're pretty cool and all, but I think I'm too in love to even pretend."

Darcy is about to say something else when the videographer returns.

"Thanks for watching it, man. Can you pour me some water with a lemon?" 

"Sure."

The videographer picks up the camera, and Wanda notices that it was placed on its side but had been facing them. Once he drinks his glass of water, he takes off.

The rest of the party isn't too exciting as Wanda doesn't see you often after that. You sit at the same table as her for dinner, but Raye is too busy chatting up a storm. Raye seems intent on keeping you busy until 10PM hits, and she decides she wants to leave the party.

"I'll see you later," you tell Wanda as you say goodbye to everyone.

"I guess," Wanda shrugs, and you tilt your head at it.

Wanda knows where all of this is leading for you, but for once, she's too tired to even try to stop it. Besides, Wanda is pretty sure you've already had sex with Raye, even if it was a quickie in the back of your car when you dropped her off or picked her up at the airport. 

The entire thing is too disparaging for Wanda to think about; she just wants to go home and be dead to the world. 

"I think I wanna head out too," Wanda looks at Darcy, who's been sipping on water for the last few hours. Neither of you specify exactly where in the moment despite how you seem to be waiting for them to say. 

The videographer approaches the group, and Wanda's confused as he greets you.

"Hey, I emailed you all the footage earlier after dinner," he says.

"Great," you smile at him. "Thanks for doing all the legwork. Sorry that Tony and Pepper want me to edit it together instead."

"You're editing the video together for Tony?" Wanda asks. "Why didn't you say?"

"Tony sprung it on me earlier today. Guess he forgot? Pepper bitched him out with love. I think," you grin. "But I don't mind. I have some free time before my next project," you shrug.

"Nah," he smiles. "I'm not complaining. I got paid twice my rate and I don't have to do the other legwork? Must be my lucky day."

"Sounds good, I'll let you know if I need anything."

"Oh, just a heads up, there was a lot of footage I didn't have time to go through, so I sent you everything. There might be some useless stuff you'll have to go through. I accidentally left my camera on a couple times. Just earlier, I realized I left my camera on every time I left it at the bar to go to the washroom," the guy laughs, but all the color drains from Wanda's face. 

"No problem," you tell him, and he leaves with a wave. "Raye and I are heading out now. Have a great night, guys."

Raye is already dragging you off, but Wanda doesn't have time to be annoyed. 

Oh, God, there was video evidence of Wanda confessing her feelings about you. 

"I need to get that video back!" Wanda cries, her hand flying to her forehead. 

She tries to not think about how you'll react or what you'll do if you see the video. She can't think about it; it will literally send Wanda into cardiac arrest. 

"Alright, alright, calm down!" Darcy placates her, realizing the same thing Wanda has. "He said he emailed it to her, right? It's not like she's going to go through the footage tonight. All you need to do is get into her email and go through the footage yourself and delete it before she comes home."

Wanda starts biting her thumbnail, a terrible habit she thought she had long outgrew. "I guess, but I'd have to access her laptop, and I don't know the password. She keeps work stuff on there."

"No problem," Darcy says as she pulls out a USB and gives it to Wanda. "Just plug this in and I can help you get into it."

Wanda takes the USB and stares at it dumbfounded. She stares back at Darcy. "You're insanely cool. Emphasis on the insane," Wanda parrots back to her with a smile. "We're gonna be great friends."

"Ah, I love becoming friends with my fake dates who are deeply in love with their best friend. They're so fulfilling and not weird at all."

"You're the one carrying around a hacking USB, don't talk to me about weird."

"Alright, sassy pants, let's just get you home, shall we? Although, not before we go to McDonald's. That dinner was just unnecessary fancy food that was half the size of my fist. I've been hungry for the last hour," Darcy starts to walk off with Wanda trailing her.

Wanda had also been hungry for the last hour, but now, knowing that you could potentially see the video of her professing her love—aggressively, might she add—Wanda wanted to throw up.

Please don't check your email on your phone, please don't check your email on your phone, Wanda begs in her mind. Now, she can't tell if she wants Raye to keep you busy or not. 

PART FIVE

[puppetsoftomorrow]

what if more legends had swapped bodies?

ray and mick

some kind of Shenangians means ray has to go rob a bank and mick has to give a presentation to palmer tech investors. ray is Very apologetic at the robbery, and gives everyone in the bank $200 'for the inconvience' until snart hits him upside the head with the gun and they leave. mick loses ray's prepared speech and ends up going on a tangent, but the investors find his honesty and plain language refreshing, and the stock price rises, netting the legends more money than the bank robbery did

ava and gary

ava, extremly embarrased by the whole thing, hides in her office and completes all of her paperwork And gary's, then reorganises his filing cabinets, then sleeps on her couch bcos she is mad that sara is just teasing her the whole time. gary goes out and decides to fufill his ambition of getting ava to dress in anything other than smart casual, and goes full on barbie dress up mode with nora and mona. he spends over $500 and ava pretends to be mad but gary actually has Great fashion sense and she looks amazing in her new clothes

sara and charlie

sara loves it, especially the ability to shapeshift, and only takes the form of various famous actors for a week. ava is uneffected as her knowledge of actors is terrible. charlie on the other hand sneaks off and decides to go on a mission with team flash, and they only realise she's not sara when she makes off with the proceeds of the bank robbery they were meant to be stopping, and befriends the evil metas along the way

zari and gideon

this wld definitly happen if zari was messing around with gideon's programming. zari finds it Trippy becoming a supercomputer but is very happy when she realises she can now Hack with her Mind. gideon is like a baby deer in her new body, but gets immense joy from the small things. when they swap back, she sometimes asks zari to describe the taste of apple pie to her again

nate and z2

z2 does nate's make up (in her body) bcos she isn't going to go on missions without full glam, which nate loves so much he insists on going to an award show to be on the red carpet. zari decides to use her Man Priveledge to go walking at night, ends up getting into a fight and gives nate a criminal record. she considers it pay back for the Terrible poses nate did on the red carpet

[icarus-hasfallen]

I made a thing!! @plumadot, thank you so much for entertaining my shenangians in your ask box hahah, and for just all around being very cool and an amazing artist!

(And don't worry, I haven't stolen Jimmy :>)

Bonus Comic below the cut!!!

Gosh I haven't done full comics in so long... I used to do them in school whenever I'd interact with people, now that I'm doing online college classes it's just not the same yk? I've missed this SO much

Anyway!! Here!! More things!!

-> Ask #1: Thievery Plotting

Where these came from:

-> Ask #2: Don't Cry/Paladin Intervention

Anyway, have a wonderful day!! Don't forget to show Plume and all your local birds love and respect!!

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

Wackus I almost don’t want the Paris special to happen anymore 😭 I’ve grown so attached to everyone’s interpretations especially ones with the babies tougher. ShadyGriffe feels like my ladynoir redemption — I had such high hopes for the series but my fave side of the love square was put to sleep now I JUST WANT THEIR EMO SELVEW TO BE CANON IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK — I don’t care I may not ever watch the Paris special I can live in denial they can have their lovesquare shenangians but they will have to pry shadygriffe out of my clingy shipper hands JUST LET ME HAVE THIS

"shadygriffe feels like my ladynoir redemption" YESSS

YESSSSSSSS

is that why i've gotten so attached to them?? like i made a PLAYLIST i wrote a FIC i have even more planned! and honestly like mood. big mood for what you said. no matter what happens in canon to toxigriffe i will always have my headcanon and make them kiss to the sound of paramore in the background. i just will.

[jungle-angel]

Random Sentry Headcannons That Have Been Brewing in The Cauldron Of My Brain (Robert Reynolds/Sentry x Reader)

Tagging: @floydsmuse @withahappyrefrain @callmemana

Warnings : SMUT!!!!! Ya'll know the rules for this, minors will be yeeted from the treehouse!!!!

When you first met Robert Reynolds, it was totally not what you expected

You and a friend were out for drinks one night and some pervert started hitting on you. It got out of hand really fast but stopped the minute you saw two guys walk up from the other end of the bar and surrounded him

Robert very gently guided you away and left Steve Rogers to deal with him. Turns out Steve was more than eager to deal with him since he had been hitting on Beth, Steve's girlfriend who worked at the local Starbucks up the street. Steve may be very calm, cool and collected but damn if the Fighting Irish ain't strong with this one

You got to talking to Robert after Steve had dealt with the pervy creep (turns out two of his buddies in the NYPD were off duty and saw the whole thing and arrested the idiot thereafter). Robert had it pretty rough before he had joined the Avengers

Finding his niche in the group hadn't been easy either. It took Tony, Thor, Bruce and Steve at least three tries to convince Robert to stay with everybody in Avengers Tower

You couldn't stop smiling when Robert asked for your number and the way his face turned red

The first time he called was when you got off work. You two must have talked on the phone for a good two and a half hours

Your first date was spent at the local movie theater which was doing a reshowing of all those cheesy 80s fantasy movies. You guys kept making dirty jokes about the snacks and popcorn

Which led to you two annoying the hell out of an obnoxious, entitled couple in the row in front of you. Robert stuck the big chug of soda you two had been sharing between his legs and it looked like you were giving him a blowjob complete with slurpy noises and everything

Needless to say after the second date which included an awesome dinner at one of the local places, you and Robert were.......shall we say......becoming well acquainted with each other 🤭🤭🤭🤭

Oh yeah, you guys were waiting for a ride back to Avengers Tower and started making out on the side of the building. Robert started sucking and biting at your neck, making you moan and not giving a single shit as to who saw, even as he pinned you against the wall. The ride never showed by the time you were done but Robert had a much better idea

He picked you up bridal style and literally flew you back to the tower

But when he got you in his bedroom there?? BOW CHICKA WOW WOW!!!!!!

Robert LOVES to fuck you so, so slowly. He loves hearing you moan and the feeling of sliding his cock in and out of you

He's packin too!!! You caught him dancin in his shorts in front of the mirror the morning after and you were all 👀👀👀👀

You and Robert have had a "sex off" with everybody and their wives/girlfriends because they were bein too loud on the other side of the wall

During said sex-off, serious shenangians ensued. Both Thor and Jane and Bruce and Betty almost punched holes in the wall from how hard they were goin at it. That was also the first time you guys heard Steve drop an F-Bomb, after he and Beth had accidentally rolled off the bed. Carol Danvers and Mike Rossi however, was due to Goose the cat, thinking that Mike was attacking his owner. You and Robert will literally ask F.R.I.D.A.Y to play "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent every time he walks into the room.

You moved into Avengers Tower after you and Robert decided that living together was the best thing for you both

And because he had grown to love you so, so deeply

Your gentle little touches and kisses meant everything to him. He craved them so badly during the day and when you would get home from work, he'd kiss you to the point where he'd be in tears

So one night after about a year and a half of dating, Robert took you to a little spot on Bow Bridge in Central Park. The leaves had already started falling and it was a chilly autumn evening

You absolutely cried when you saw the ring and he popped the question. Thor and Jane had done some summer traveling back to Asgard and he personally asked the dwarves to make the ring. It was a silver and diamond replica of Galadriel's ring from Lord Of The Rings and the diamonds looked like a flower but it glowed whenever Robert was nearby

You guys got married that summer with everybody in attendance. Carol, Jane, Natasha, Betty, Beth, Pepper, Wanda and Laura Barton were all your bridesmaids and even little Miss Morgan Stark took her role as your flower girl very, very seriously

Tony let you guys have full run of the Malibu house and you and Robert made sure that you thoroughly christened the house. You even left a note for Tony that said "sorry we fucked in the pool last night"

You and Robert have had your days, both good and bad together

But for the most part your married life has been peaceful and happy

A common saying in Avengers Tower, "never saw one without the other did you?"

And for the most part it's true

[allastoredeer]

Hey! I just want to say, you are my gateway into Radioapple and Hazbin fics as a whole, and boy did you set an expectation for me!! I'm always afraid of coming across OOC fics, and I'm especially picky with what I choose to read at first when I'm still so new to fandom portrayals of characters. When I read the summary and tags of Just Kiss Already, I couldn't believe my eyes because it had everything I was looking for?!? Post season 1, Alastor whump (I squealed at the concept of the angelic wound), Luci having to face the public and his lack of knowledge regarding politics, jealous Vox, Overlord meetings, and! Fake/pretend relationship!! With the sprinkle of rumors and speculation from the public (Idk what it is with me and loving this trope). You delivered a full course meal! The characterization was so so amazing, I love the banter, and I just adore the concept of Alastor being vulnerable in front of someone stronger than him (that someone being Lucifer, who despite being the king of hell, doesn't use his powers to take advantage of Alastor's vulnerable state is ahhhhhh so good). The pacing is incredible, the interactions are golden, and I applaud you for writing POVs that feel real and authentic to canon!

One major thing that made me extremely picky about choosing and reading fics in the fandom was my fear of authors not being able to handle Alastor's Asexuality well. Thank you for doing Alastor justice, I'm so amazed at how well you wrote him in this regard. Like when Vox yelled at him "What does Lucifer have that I don't?", it didn't even cross Alastor's mind that this is a confession of sorts, and instead he thought Vox was talking about power. I love the subtleness of this so much!! The last chapter you posted was amazing in this regard, with Alastor's thoughts about relationships in general. Just, thank you for sharing your work with us, I enjoyed all of it, and I'm so excited to see where the story goes <3333

Another thing I'm still skeptical about is reading explicit fics, because... well, I'm not sure if they will handle Alastor's Ace identity well. Do you happen to have a recommendation for someone like me who's never read Radioapple smut before? And I would also love to know your overall favorite Radioapple fics as well, I've bookmarked some stuff and I don't know where to begin haha. Again thank you, and your blog and asks are so interesting to read!!

HI! HELLO! So this has been sitting in my inbox for a while and its not because I was ignoring it, its because I have come back to read it over and over and over again as I've been writing the next chapter to "Chaggie's Dating 101," and I didn't want to lose it in the void of my blog.

Thank you for this 🥺 not only is it cool being your introduction to Radiapple/HH fics, but I'm so glad you've been enjoying it too!! Hahaha I'm definitely having a lot of fun with "Just Kiss Already" and all the shenangians that are already happening, and knowing that other people are having just as much fun makes me just dlkfnvsdkgjslkgj 😭❤️

I totally get it about being picky. I'm a very picky reader too 😅 Alastor's aceness is definitely something that I can get picky about. Like, it doesn't have to be the focal point every time I read a smut fic--or any fic in general--but when it feels like its either brushed aside altogether or there's underlying aphobia (unintentionally, I'm sure), I nope out real quick. I base a lot of my own ace experiences, thoughts, and emotions on how I write Alastor, and it is so, so validating to see so many other people feeling the same way.

I'll admit, I can be a little more slack with smut fics so long as the smut itself is fantastic, but yeah, there are certain pairings or dynamics I don't stray into because I hate how Alastor is typically depicted, especially in smut fics.

I've slowly been going through all my Hazbin 'marked for later' fics, but here's some radioapple smut fics I have bookmarked (Warning: I enjoy dark and very explicit fics so be sure to read the tags when you look through these):

Bayou in the Mountain by lelepandewritium

With a Coffee and a Caress by winterveritas (<- my current fav radioapple smut fic)

Together In My Pocket by keelywolfe

Unhealthy Attachments by keelywolfe

And, of course, I always recommend checking out keelywolfe's Lucifer's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship radioapple series! I haven't had time to finish it, but I think I'm up to fic 9 or 10 and I'm been loving it so much! It's so much fun! And I love the radioapple smut :3

I'm...just now realizing this is all the Radioapple smut I have in my bookmarks.

Wow.

I've been reading a LOT of smut recently, but looking back, I think it's all been RadioStatic 😂 if ya'll want any RadioStatic smut fic recs, let me know, I have a lot of those.

BUT ALSO! If anyone's read to this point! Here's an update on the chapter 3 of "Chaggie's Totally Legitimate Dating 101 Crash Course" :

The chapter is officially written and is being looked over by my beta's! I'm hoping to have it posted by Saturday or Sunday, so be on the look out for an update 😉 because it's happening very soon!