#{ 🔪 ; ic} : law

[starboundsingularities]

good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder

#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess

7 notes

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh

�� rockliker270 Follow

date posted: june 23, 2010

1,834,853 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though

🧊 just--ice Follow

okay now they're just making lawyers up

#also didn't mvk die or something?

28,932 notes

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder

🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow

so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

are you gonna address the copaganda thing or

1,092 notes

🌻 attorneybout Follow

he's so. 😳

📂 trialanderror Follow

why is he defending

📂 trialanderror Follow

OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???

24,374 notes

🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow

i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all

🥜 liberdeez Follow

op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.

🔐 wrightorwrong Follow

hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!

🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow

net 0 information post

#thanks again lawblr

94,834 notes

🍒 cherriescoola Follow

btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life

2,284 notes

🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow

December 28, 2016

YES!!!

702,947 notes

🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow

guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do

🔪 violencekilling Follow

you gotta let him rob you that's the law

302,948 notes

👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow

look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name

💼 courtofwaw Follow

bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late

62,193 notes

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited

#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore

7,293 notes

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs

🌈 lawsbian Follow

the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.

12,293 notes

🔮 inhighspirits Follow

why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy

837,495 notes

💞 lawveyourself Follow

seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree

💞 lawveyourself Follow

what do you mean evidence fraud

503,893 notes

🎧 instrumentalillness Follow

fuck you *unguilties your love*

384,568 notes

🎀 copiicat Follow

perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me

[heliswife]

VIGILANTE FT. PARK JISUNG 🔪

🎞 featuring: y/n l/n, park jisung, mark lee, na jaemin, lee haechan, kiss of life 🎞

🎞 warnings: fem!reader, gross old men, plot is def tweaked to fit y/n in it, weird pacing compared to the drama, y/n gets kidnapped, major(?) character death 🎞

wc : 3.5k 🎥

A vigilante refers to an individual or a village who feels that the judicial bodies have failed to protect the people… 

11:29 pm. Leaving the 24 hour grocery store you had to go buy some essentials from, you had almost forgotten the time. It was late, and you had to go home quickly.

…and takes up arms to protect themselves and the village.

You decided to walk through a dark alleyway as a shortcut, being attacked was bound to happen. Yet you still went that way. 

The general public may feel that the law works to the defendant's advantage rather than the victim's.

The attacker was a familiar face. You saw him on the news yesterday. He was arrested for murdering his wife, yet was let out early due to claiming he was under the influence of alcohol.

This is because modern law has evolved to protect the rights of criminals instead of the punishment of the criminals.

You braced yourself as he was about to hit you, your mind racing with thoughts of your family and friends. Would this really be the end for you?

However, the concept of karma, the idea that justice will triumph, that the morally upright will be vindicated prevails among the general public.

The attacker dropped to the floor, blood leaking from his nose. You gasped and took a step back. There was a man, somewhere around 6 feet, with a black hoodie on. All you could see were his fox-like eyes burning with rage.

And to the general public, the idea of protecting the rights of criminals, who disregarded the rights of victims, made the law feel defective and inadequate.

He hit the attacker once, twice, more times than you could count. His face was disfigured and he was crying for mercy, but the hooded figure paid no mind.

Unable to suppress these grievances, someone decided to take justice into their own hands!

“You're a piece of scum, aren't you? You don't deserve to stay in this world.” The hooded man spoke. With one final punch, the man stopped breathing.

So what are your thoughts…

“Who are you?” Were the only words you managed to spit out, throat stinging with bile.

…on this mysterious vigilante? Reporting to you from Report 25.

“I'm-” The man turned around and began walking away. “The vigilante.”

“You got attacked? Poor y/n! I hope you're okay now!” Your friend, Haneul, exclaims once you recount the story at your favorite restaurant, also known as the restaurant that your grandmother owns.

“Yeah, I was saved by someone, I don't think I would've lived without them,” You respond, goosebumps appearing on your arm from the traumatizing memory.

A ding comes from the restaurant door, which is rare considering the fact that the restaurant is usually just you and your four friends. There are three guys who enter. One of them has a charming sort of aura to him, his sandy blond hair mostly hidden by a cap. The other has a wide smile as he's talking to the other two guys and light blond hair. The last one is around six feet tall and has fox-like eyes. 

Wait. This reminded you of someone. The vigilante.

The first guy goes over to the table the five of you are sitting at. “Yo, any of you girls free Saturday? The name's Mark.”

“Today is Saturday, doofus.” The second guy says, hitting Mark on the shoulder.

The third guy just stares at you. He recognizes you from yesterday, he definitely does. 

“Jisung? Dude, you good?” Mark waves his hand in front of the third guy's face, snapping him out of his trance. So his name is Jisung. 

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Jisung replies with an anxious smile. The voice you heard yesterday was the icing on the cake. He was the vigilante, you were sure of it. “Can we talk?” He mouths to you.

You nod, and you head outside with Jisung, yours and his friends watching in confusion.

“You know, don't you?” Jisung asks once the both of you are alone.

“Yeah,” You answer, “Thanks for saving me, Jisung. I've seen you on the news a lot, don't think the police like you much.”

“They're just mad that this town is finally getting some justice. Criminals are getting let out all the time, there needs to be someone that gives them what they deserve,” Jisung rants. 

“He's pretty cute,” You think to yourself. If you hadn't witnessed him kill someone in front of you, you wouldn't have thought that he was the vigilante. “Who else knows?”

“Only you. Not even Mark or Jaemin know,” Jisung admits, “We should go back inside now, we don't want to look suspicious.”

“Where were you guys? I missed you, y/n!” Belle pouts, hugging you.

“We were just getting some fresh air, right Jisung?” Your excuse is simple, but enough to make the rest of the group believe you. At least, you hope so.

“Huh? Oh, yeah!” The more Jisung says or does, the more you're dumbfounded at the fact that this shy boy is the vigilante.

Mark and Jaemin exchange a glance, before Mark goes on to change the subject. “Can I get your numbers?”

“Maybe next time, Mark,” Julie brushes him off.

“That's right, can I have your number, y/n?” Jisung hands his phone over to you so you can put in your phone number. You text yourself hello so you can have his number saved on your phone and you hand him his phone back.

“Even Jisung's getting more pull than you, Mark,” Jaemin jokes, and even your group is laughing at Mark and his embarrassed expression.

“We'll be heading off now, see you guys soon!” The five of you get up, and you wave a small goodbye to Jisung, who waves goodbye back.

Jisung, or per his secret identity, the vigilante, is on the news again. The news channel describes the event that happened to you yesterday, plus a new case about a guy who assaulted a middle school aged girl. 

> you watching the news rn?

Jisung replies a minute later

> yeah, gonna get this guy during the weekend

> i stay over at the police academy during the week so i can't get him until then

A police officer at day, a vigilante at night, huh? How interesting.

> do u wanna get coffee soon? we could talk more about ur plans or smth?

What a lame excuse for a date. But you really did like him, you have ever since he saved you that day. 

> ya sure! also can I have a contact photo of you? i'll send you one too :]

> one image sent

You grin to yourself and save the picture to your phone. The photo didn't have a lot of lighting, but Jisung still looked perfect under the camera lighting. You fix your hair and take a picture to send back to him.

> you look good! 

> thanks, u too!

> gonna go to sleep jisung, so gn!

> good night, sweet dreams!

You turn off your phone and stared up at your ceiling. Should you be getting involved with the vigilante? What if you endanger yourself? Or worse, what if you endanger him?

> meet up w me by nchelin restaurant

> i didn't want a sidekick but you're the exception

The text has you getting up from your nightly bedrotting session and changing into a black hoodie and jeans, trying to get ready to meet Jisung as soon as possible. You were his sidekick now, and there was no going back.

“Hi, vigilante.” You wink at him. 

“Hey, sidekick.” He winks back at you. “Ready to beat some ass?”

“Hell yeah, what do I have to do?” You ask. Jisung begins to walk, so you follow him. He walks with a stride, like he knows what he wants. 

“Lure him for me? He's at the victim's apartment, save her for me,” Jisung orders. 

As the apartment grew closer, your heart started to beat faster. You already died once, but what if you do die this time? What if Jisung doesn't save you? He beckons for you to enter the apartment, and the echo of the stairs rings through your ears as you step up. 

There he is. Right about to stab the poor girl, who's shaking and crying.

“Get the fuck away from her,” You threaten, “Or else.”

His attention is now on you. Don't run. You have to help Jisung. “Or else what? What’s a girl like you going to do?” He jeers. 

“Or else this.” Jisung appears behind the man, putting him in a chokehold.

You urge the girl to follow you to a spot where she could be safe and wipe her tears. “It's okay, it's okay, my friend is dealing with him.”

She nods, still sniffling. “Thank you…”

The night sky is lit up by the red and blue police lights. In the background, you can see Jisung's figure running away. 

“I'm gonna go now, ‘kay? Stay safe,” You tell the girl, before running after Jisung.

“Check the news,” He boasts once you catch up to him.

On Report 25, you see the bloody corpse slumped on the wall, the words I'm sorry forgive sacred net written with blood. “Holy shit…”

“I know right? I told this guy to apologize and that's what he wrote. He was a bit of a toughie,” Jisung recounts. “Want me to walk you home?” 

“Alright.” The walk home is quiet, only a few words uttered by the both of you. But you weren't complaining. It was nice, just walking with someone by your side.

Having someone by your side was nice. You weren't falling for Jisung, were you?

You were.

“There's another case, y/n. Two girls and a man. They entered the victim's house, killed her, her 5 year old daughter, and her 8 year old son. Made me sick just reading it,” Jisung described. You were sitting on the corner of his bed next to him, who was now showing you the Facebook account that belonged to the criminal.

His Facebook count was worse than you had expected. When people commented on how shameless his actions were, he retaliated with some snarky remark. “Seo Duyeop, huh? Or should I say, Duyeop Cool? What a lame name.”

“I know, right? What a weirdo. Which is why we're going clubbing. Mark and Jaemin invited me. I was going to decline, but that club happened to be the very place Duyeop hangs out at.”

The colorful lights and blasting music was enough to give a Victorian child a heart attack. You and the three guys you came with all entered together, but you could only scowl as Jisung was taken away by some hot girl.

“Yowch, you good y/n? You look like you want to kill her,” Mark points out, and he's right. 

“Yeah, I'm fine.” You snap. 

“That doesn't sound fine. If you're jealous, just say so,” Jaemin comments.

“I'm not jea-” Mark and Jaemin both stare at you. “Fine. Maybe I am.”

“You should go get him,” Mark suggests, hand resting on your shoulder, “While you do that, Jaemin and I are gonna get some play.” Spoiler alert: they were rejected by every girl that they hit on.

You hang out with Mark and Jaemin for a while, watching them drink shots and flirt. As the minutes pass, you run over to Jisung, who's sending the girl he went off with in a taxi. “Jisung! What did you do with her?”

“I didn't get much information from her, she mentioned him being a drug dealer though.” Jisung notices the frown on your face and ruffles your hair. “Sorry for leaving you with Mark and Jaemin. We didn't do anything weird, I promise. Want me to walk you home again?”

“Oh! Yeah, sure! You can stay the night if you want?” You offer.

That's how you had Jisung shifting through your fridge and eating your ice cream you had saved. 

“This is the perfect reward for fighting crime!”

“You didn't even ask me…” You frown. 

He holds a spoonful to your mouth. “Here then, you can have a bite.” You would say something about how he's feeding you from the same spoon he ate from, but it was better than no ice cream at all. You open your mouth to accept the spoonful of the vanilla ice cream, both you and Jisung smiling at each other.

A serene moment that made you forget about your earlier surge of jealousy. The small moment of calm before the storm.

> yn right?

> go to the police university

> jisung needs ur help

The text from the unknown number had you rushing immediately to the police university he went to, where Jisung was getting interrogated by a few cops.

“Who's she?” The old man, who you guessed was his professor, asks him. There was also some big buff guy next to him, you for sure didn't want to mess with him.

“Jisung, you went to school beat up? Sorry, professor, but over the weekend, he protected me from a couple of thugs. I owe my life to him!” You lie, putting on the most pitiful expression you could. 

The professor nods, then turns to Jisung. “Why did you lie?”

“I- Sorry, sir. I thought that fighting as a civilian would be wrong.” 

“It's fine, just don't do it again,” The professor says. The scary man glares at both you and Jisung.

“Thanks for saving me, Jisung, I'll be on my way now. Thank you, sir.” You wave goodbye to Jisung and leave the building. He almost got caught. They almost figured out who the vigilante was.

Once you make your way to the restaurant you and your friends meet up with, you're instantly hit with the topic of the vigilante.

“He's been doing this a lot lately, hasn't he? There have been a lot of bad people murdered,” Hanuel says, scrolling through the recent article.

“The vigilante? Yeah, but don't they sort of deserve it? They're bad people who got released early, the vigilante is giving them what they deserve.” The four pairs of eyes on you made you gulp.

“Are you the vigilante, y/n?” Julie questions. “Only the vigilante would say something like that.” 

“It's not me, Julie! I'm not strong enough to be doing all that! Plus, I like to sleep, doesn't the vigilante do this stuff at night?” You defend yourself. Not a complete lie. 

“Okay, y/n, we believe you,” Natty giggled, “What if you were the second one though?”

“There's a second one!?” You exclaim, but remember what Jisung told you a few days ago.

“There's a whole lot of copycat vigilantes, but the main one I'm focusing on is this guy who's figured out my identity. He's been helping me since, I'm guessing he's the one who deleted all of the camera footage the day I got Duyeop.” He was possibly also the guy who texted you to help Jisung at the university.

Then your phone buzzed. It was Jisung. 

> heyyyy yn

> im meeting up with the second vigilante i told you about. can you come?

> the address is XXXXXXX

“Shit, sorry guys, I gotta go. My mom needs help with something.” You lied to your best friends, you internally scolded yourself. God, y/n, who does that? 

“Jisung..?” You're at the address he told you to go to, but he's talking with the big scary police officer you saw at the university.

“You must be y/n, hm?” A person asks. His neatly combed caramel brown hair  complimented the suit he has on perfectly. Like you, he was peering down to survey the conversation between Jisung and the officer.

You jump. “How do you know who I am?” Then it clicks. He's the second vigilante.

“My name is Donghyuck, but you can just call me Haechan. Jisung doesn't know that, you got to me before he did.” Donghyuck, or Haechan? grins at you.

“I see.” Could you trust Haechan? What if he was secretly planning to turn Jisung in?

As if he could read your mind, Haechan responded, “I'm doing this because I idolize him. I think it's cool that he's able to bring justice to Seoul.”

“There you are! And you,” Jisung brought you in an embrace, though it wasn't as strong as you thought it would be. You glanced up at him, and his face had multiple bruises, “You must be the second vigilante, correct?”

“You sure are smart, Jisung! Donghyuck, Haechan, sexy, call me whatever!”

“I am not calling you sexy.”

“I was just kidding,” Haechan scoffs. 

New information learned: the most dangerous guys are the most stupid.

“I'm going home, have fun ladies! Get along, you two!” You laugh, heading back the route you came from.

You open the door of your apartment and are about to make your way to the shower.

That is until someone grabs you. You trash around trying to leave. It's no use.

Then, it all goes dark.

You don't know where you are. You try to move your hands, but they're bound by rope. 

“Is the fire ready?” You can hear the gruff voice of what seems to be your abductor.

“Sure is,” Another voice replies. 

You shift around in your seat, but that makes enough noise that one of the men comes up to you and bends his neck to reach your level.

“Who the fuck is the vigilante?” 

That's why they kidnapped you. For information. You knew something they didn't.

“I don't know.”

A harsh slap was delivered to your face.

“You liar! There's evidence that points to you knowing the vigilante. I know you're helping him, dipshit!” The man yells.

“That's- that's not me!” The kidnapper could see right through you. 

Another slap. “We're going to make the punishments worse if you don't tell us anything.”

The other kidnapper entered the shack you were captured in and took him outside with him. 

“Dude, we just got a call from Mr. Samdoo. If we bring the girl to the address he sent us, we're going to get 5 times what we were originally going to be paid.” The first one whispers.

“Really?” The second one exclaims.

That brings you to where you are now: getting neatly dressed and put in a car with two random strangers who happened to kidnap you. 

The car stopped at a concert stadium, with hundreds of people entering in black hoodies. You had to thank Jisung for his ingenious plan later.

The first one, who's name you learned was Mr. Bang, has his hand on your back as he leads you to the meet up spot. 

“Hey, you can't get in without a black hoodie!” The ticket guard says. 

In response, Mr. Bang drops a stack of bills in the guards hands. He drapes a black hoodie over you and continues to lead you inside.

It takes some pushing through the crowd but you manage to lock eyes with Jisung. He grabs your hand and sprints away before Mr. Bang can notice. 

As the two of you are sprinting, Jisung bombards you with questions and statements. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you? Your face has some marks. Haechan came to help us, we're going to push through. Just stream the fight, y/n.” 

What happens next is all a blur. You can only be a bystander to the horrors that are happening in front of you. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice someone.

Jaemin.

No. Why is he here?

Sirens. You've hated seeing those. The upright Jaemin you saw earlier, being loaded on a stretcher into the ambulance.

You ran as far as you could back home, back to the recently broken into home. Your legs were hurting and your stomach was churning, but you ran.

You could only lay on your bed and pray that Jisung would be okay.

You remember being interrogated by the police. You had to say Jaemin was the vigilante, you didn't want to hurt Jisung any further. 

The news the day after was in memorial of Jaemin too, but your mind was too occupied by Jisung. 

A week later, you hear a knock on your door. You get up and answer, just to see Jisung. 

You hug him tight, like he'd disappear if you let go. “I'm so happy you're okay.”

“I graduated.” His tone is soft, like cotton candy. “I came here to see you. I love you. I'm so sorry for everything that happened. Just forget about me, got it?”

“Jisung…” You can feel tears stinging your eyes. “I'm not going to forget about you. I need you here. With me.”

“You're beautiful,” He mutters, “Please, let me kiss you.”

“Of course I will, Sungie.” Jisung flushes red at the nickname, and flushes a darker shade as you kiss him. 

“Looks like I found my next target,” Jisung smiles against your lips, “I need to find who stole my heart. Will you help me with that, sidekick?”

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (6)

*This ain’t a funeral!* Read [this] first.

Lysistrata: Coryo, that was so beautiful! Your voice was ✨perfection✨.☺️

Coryo: Thanks, Bestie! The Grandma’am had to ✨hit✨ me a lot to make my voice sound like an angel~.💅

Festus: Hit you?😰 What do you mean??

Coryo: My crazy Grandma’am said that I’m not allowed to ✨EAT✨ or ✨SLEEP✨ if I can’t get the tone and lyrics right!☺️

Festus: Coryo, are you okay-

Coryo: Now my voice is perfect!! Lucy Gray Who! My abdomen has never been bruiser- I mean, better.😌

Lysistrata: Coryo, my dear, do you need me to call Child Welfare Services?🥺

Coryo: Child Welfare Services? Does Panem even have such thing? And who’s gonna be the head of that department? Dean Casca Highbottom or Dr.Gaul?

Sejanus: I wish!😡 *glares at Strabo Plinth*

Coryo: Babe, why is your father even here?

Sejanus: He’s going to drive us back to school after-

Strabo: *leans down and whispers to Coryo* Hello, my little son-in-law. How are you?

Coryo: Hello, Father-in-law. I’m fine. Thank you.

Strabo: Do you want to know about the time when your gorgeous father and I went “stargazing” together in the middle of the night?🥰

Coryo: No.

Lysistrata: I want to know!

Festus: Me too!

Strabo: My darling Crassus and I were roommates.😏

Sejanus: Pa, don’t embarrass me in front of my boyfriend!😫

Strabo: But-

Sejanus: Go away or wait in the car!

Strabo: Strabo is sad now.😞

Sejanus: Goodbye, schemer.

Strabo: Goodbye, my idiot heir.

Sejanus: Shoo.

Strabo: See you later, Little Snow.

Coryo: Father-in-law, can you buy 3 gallons of peppermint ice cream and 2 boxes of spinach pizza on the way out? I’m hungry.

Strabo: Anything for Little Snow.😊

Coryo: Thanks.

Festus: Yo, Coryo, can you also ask old Mr. Plinth if he could buy us burgers and fries-

Coryo: No.

Festus: *turns to Sejanus* Bestie, can you ask your old man to buy us burgers and fries?

Sejanus: No.

Festus: Pretty please?🥺🙏

Sejanus: My Coryo said no.

Festus: But I want burgers and fries!😭

Arachne: *on a hospital bed with a neck brace* Oi! Oi, idiots! Why are you even here?! Visiting hours are over!

Coryo: To be fair, the doctors said that we can have a sleepover-

Arachne: Inside my hospital room?! Are you crazy?! I told the school that I’m not dying! Dammit!😡

Sejanus: Our dearest Felix Ravinstill told us to visit and sing you the ✨Gem of Panem✨, Arachne~.☺️

Festus: He’s so considerate.

Arachne: Well, tell our stupid Class President to suck ass and leave me be!

Lysistrata: Why?🥺

Arachne: Because Gem of F*ckin’ Panem is only sung in good or bad occasions!

Coryo: This occasion is pretty good to me-

Arachne: It’s not my freaking wedding or funeral, you dumbass!

Festus: To be fair, me, Lizzie, and Coryo are only here for the food.😋

Coryo: Your evil mom’s apple pie is to die for.

Arachne: But why is idiot Plinth even here?!

Sejanus: I’m Coryo’s sugar daddy- I mean, boyfriend. So. . .

Arachne: Get the f*ck out.

Lysistrata: *pulls out a camera from her bag* Can’t do that. Sejanus and I were tasked by Felix to take pictures. So smile-

Arachne: Get that f*ckin’ camera off my face!

Coryo: Nope. Felix said that as the Class President, it is his duty to prove that you’re still alive and kicking-

Arachne: Get out.

Lysistrata: What was that? We can’t seem to hear-

Arachne: GET OUT!!🤬🔪

[silvernyxchariot]

It’s still February, the “lovey-dovey” month, as I see it. So, here’s a somewhat comprehensive blog of “Would I Date That JoJo Villain?” Main villains only. Non-yandere harem.

⚠️DNI: bigots, anti-LGBT+'s, trolls, MAPs, proshippers (incest & pedos), anti self & OC shippers, and everyone else synonymous to the mentioned. You will be blocked.⚠️

Dio Brando: Maybe, but it'll lead to an inevitable breakup.

See the first sentence of DIO down below. Anyway, this is the Dio I would be willing to date depending on how we met back in the late 1800′s. He’s still a conniving selfish megalomaniac, but not as bad as Stardust Crusaders DIO and I’m a sucker for Victorian Gothic fashion. This is also the only form of Dio that I have any sympathy for, like “Hon-neyyyy! You were set. You would have been golden. You didn’t NEED more. You could have easily made yourself a fortune. Live the rich man’s life you wanted.” He was adopted by an old rich man, accepted by his adoptive brother, and graduated as a top law student, even still he was influenced by his sperm donor’s last words to gain all the power. All the wealth. So yeah, I would give this Dio a chance.

Kars: YES.

If you’ve been here long enough, you know he’s my favorite in the yandere JJBA villain harem. But even outside of the yandere harem, my answer is still yes.

DIO: NO.

I have a mate that self ships himself with Dio/DIO and I ain’t a traitor like that. 😤 Also, see my explanation for Dio Brando above. Which is ironic since I self-ship with One Piece’s Doflamingo. . . But we ain’t talking about him. 😗🧋. . . At best, Vanilla Ice and I are the adopted children that get fed and dragged along while DIO and my mate are on a date. We’re also carrying all the bags and coats so they can take cute couple photos together. And also, Araki had all the opportunity to bring back a sexy, mysterious, Victorian Gothic vampire. But naaaah. He made DIO a Neon Banana. It doesn't help because my least favorite colors are bright yellows.

Yoshikage Kira: No.

Not my type, I guess? Don’t get me wrong. Diamond is Unbreakable was such a refreshing, fun, and unexpected part. It was a major switch up from the world-threatening and inhuman beings of parts 1-3. But I wasn’t attracted to Yoshikage all that much. I think I need the extra ego and bloodthirst for my villains. 😂

Diavolo/Doppio: Maybe, but it'll be a No in the end.

Hey~ Two for one deal. 😎 But jokes aside, You Killed My Husbands! Seven of them indirectly! This is essentially a yandere situation without it being a yandere AU because I think Diavolo would be a good partner. . . If you know... submit to being hidden from the world, living alone in an Italian villa where no one can find you, and you have to move every few weeks, months, years, or maybe even days. You have NO Connections to the outside world. No internet for you. Doppio seems like a loyal and sweet partner, but he'd be the only good part of this relationship. They definitely have the money to spoil you too.

Enrico Pucci: No?

I honestly think he’d be a decent boyfriend. (Thank you to all of you headcanon creators that are still putting out content or are still JoJo fans. You make my day a little less bleak.) It’s the whole devotion to DIO that's a turn-off. Also, please don’t talk about converting me to Christianity or Catholicism at the dinner table. Or how about I introduce you to the entire Greek pantheon? No? Ok, how about the Tagalog pantheon?

Funny Valentine: No.

I have no right to be talking about the part 7 villain because I’m only ten chapters into Steel Ball Run. . . But from what I’ve learned through the fandom and the JoJo wiki, he’s not a pleasant man. . . So, no. Also, how's that infatuation with another Married person, who is also 15 Year Old Adolescent Girl hmmm?/RH 👀🔪🔪

⭐️ My work is for entertainment and personal purposes. Do not take, translate, repost, or use it for profit. Hearts and reblogs are appreciated though.

[bizarrescribblez]

🫧 Self Ship Tags + F/O List 🫧

🪻 My Main F/Os!! My Soulmates!! My Sunshines!! My Everything!!! 🪻

🪺 Stanley Uris [It Chapter 2]: #🐦 Stan the man + #🦆🐇 anyone else but you (my first f/o ever :,) special birdy boy..)

⚡️ Skwisgaar Skwigelf [Metalocalypse]: #❄️ cold as ice + #🦄🐰 lips like sugar

⚰️ Frank/Adam Barrett [Abigail]: #🥀 harness your hopes + #🦇🐰 lover you should’ve come over

🎖️ David Collins [The Guest]: #💿 your silent face + #💼👛 wave of mutilation

🩹 König [Cuckoo]: #🪈 your new cuckoo + #🕰️🌸 me and my husband

🪃 Travis ‘Trapper’ Beasley [Godzilla x Kong]: #🌿 road to nowhere + #🦎🐰 i was made for lovin’ you

🦦 David Haller [Legion]: #🔑 where is my mind? + #🧠🌸 strangelove

🪚 Joey [Vamps]: #📚 rich girl + #🌼🌸 here comes your man

🛡️ Sir Lancelot [Night at the Museum]: #🗡️ enchanted + #⚔️🐰 holding out for a hero

☕️ Tom [I’m Your Man]: #💻 loving machine + #🤖🐰 i’m your man

🪖 Matthew Crawley [Downton Abbey]: #🎩 sugar sugar + #🍰🧁 i’m glad there is you

🌷 Familial F/Os 🌷

🕰️ Charles Foster Offdensen [Metalocalypse] (father figure ☹️): #🪦 hip to be square

🐻 Cooper Abbott [Trap] (blorbo in law): #🧯 midlife crisis

📼 Jack and Rosemary Walten [The Walten Files] (dad and mom!) : #📞🍯🐰 love grows (where my rosemary goes)

🌺 Platonic F/Os 🌺

[Metalocalypse]

🥁 Pickles: #🦑 break stuff

🍫 Toki Wartooth: #🐱 everything is awesome!!!

🦇 Nathan Explosion: #🐊 blazing star

💾 Dick Knubbler [Metalocalypse]: #💽 space oddity

🚬 Magnus Hammersmith: #🔪 terrible lie

[kxruyucu]

unusual muse associations

Seasoning: sugar & cinnamon powder

Weather: cold, rainy

Color: dark military green

Sky: a cloudy sunset

Magical power: super immunity, telekinesis

Shoe: boots

House plant: small cactus

Weapon: pocket knife & handgun & combat

Subject: law enforcement related subjects

Social Media: every available one to be updated on his enemies’ status

Makeup Product: none

Candy: literally all types of candies, but he loves nerds, marshmallows, gummy bears, jello’s

Fear: not being able to take vengeance for his lost loved ones, fear of losing loved ones(before he already lost them)

Ice Cube Shape: needle-like, circular

Method of long-distance travel: he prefers motorbikes & cars but does use a plane when needed, which he takes something to calm him down before hopping on since he has aerophobia

Art Style: blood/ink

Mythological Creature: cenatur? (took a quiz for it)

Piece of stationary: cat-shaped magmatic paper holder

Three Emojis: 🙃🔪👀

Celestial Body: the planet? (took a quiz for it)

tagged by: @themechaneer ilu <3

tagging: @lwiatkc , @heaimed , @hebled , @lowsurvival + you

[slasherhqs]

🔪   .  𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚈𝙼𝙾𝚄𝚂   𝙰𝚂𝙺𝙴𝙳   —  some example occupations you could see for the ice queen, action girl and damsel in distress?

the  occupation  that  your  muse  held  before  the  start  of  their  summer  at  camp  silver  lake  is  largely  dependent  on  your  portrayal  of  their  trope  !  people  hold  jobs  that  don’t  seem  to  quite  fit  their   personas  all  the  time  in  the  real  world  ,  so  try  not  to  worry  too  much  about  everything  being  exactly  in  line  with  your  muse’s  trope  description  .  after  all  ,  a   muse  working  in  a  job  that  they  don’t  exactly   love  is  something  that  adds  substance  to  their  character  !  however  ,  i’ll  list  a  couple  of  examples  for  careers  i  could  see  those  tropes  in  .

the  ice  queen  :  intern  ,  law  student  ,  professional  dancer  ,  department  store  perfume  section  employee  .

the  action  girl  :  mechanic  ,  something  in  landscaping  ,  a  server  /  bartender  ,  stunt  person  .

the  damsel  in  distress  :  mall  employee  ,  telemarketer  ,   an  education  major  in  college  ,  etsy  shop  owner  .

[starboundsingularities]

the jurist system seems really cool i hope they keep using it :-)

27 notes

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. am i a suspect. because you can "court" me any time

🧊 just--ice Follow

try.

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. am i a suspect. because you can "try" me any time

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. are you a lawyer. because you can "try" to "court" me any time

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. am i on trial.

🌈 lawsbian Follow

i'm determined to make this work btw

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. law

🔪 violencekilling Follow

hey girl. are you a murderer. because ow ough ouch agh stop stabbing me

732,390 notes

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

guys watch out hes gonna shelly de kill you

293,485 notes

🎀 copiicat Follow

they called me to the witness stand and the defense attorney just shouted "BOOOOOO WE HATE YOUR PUSSY"

43,618 notes

🧇 edible-evidence Follow

look if i was on trial and the guy prosecuting me started advertising his music i'd just plead guilty. avoid the embarrassment of getting put in prison by a guy who basically used the trial to say "this blew up btw here's my soundcloud"

97,384 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

💞 lawveyourself Follow

didnt miles edgeworth defend someone in a case once

⛲ fountainoftruth Follow

do you know the difference between a prosecutor and a defense attorney

270,934 notes

💟 longingforyou Follow

being rivals isn't enough i need to kiss you

💟 longingforyou Follow

who the fuck is evil magistrate

💟 longingforyou Follow

STOP TAGGING THIS WITH LAWYERS?????

584,769 notes

🐈 nyattorney Follow

they hired a guy to stand in court and shout "GET A ROOM YOU TWO" whenever the lawyers start getting a little too homoerotic

976 notes

💥 courtroomchaos Follow

your honor i know all the evidence points to my client being guilty. but come on you have to admit he kinda ate right

💼 courtofwaw Follow

mia fey when they had phoenix wright on trial

20,475 notes

🔍 thuthseeker Follow

ok hot take but i feel like these lawyers should maybe not be allowed to drag literal children to court with them?? how many people have gotten genuinely actually fucking SHOT in court and they're just ok bringing fucking 8 year olds in?

12,475 notes

💼 courtofwaw Follow

happy almost christmas to all who celebrate

💫 dizzydreamers124 Follow

it's march

🎄 holidazed Follow

happy almost christmas :)

😈 knownjaywalker Follow

WHO is putting this on my dash

👁️ cymorgue Follow

STOP POSTING THIS. IT IS JUNE.

🐼 pandastar91 Follow

ITS ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

1,589,589 notes

💽 platinumcourtrecord Follow

evil gavinners be like. innocent hate. this is a nothing post

19,384 notes

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

STOP asking me about the dl-6 post idc idc look even phoenix wright forged evidence once shut up

📕 lexculpatory Follow

he didn't forge the evidence, though. it was kristoph gavin who ordered the forgery. this was covered in the trial of vera misham. if you're going to try to compare yourself to well known figures, you could at least check the veracity of your claims.

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

yeah well. he might have. on a different case or something.

73 notes

🃏 thecourtjester Follow

i tried to take the bar exam but they didnt let me because i wasnt cunty and traumatized enough

57,384 notes

😇 innosense Follow

683,876 notes

🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow

when will global studios realize that i do not WANT another shitty steel samurai spinoff i just want the original show back

7,094 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

she present on my evidence til i reach a verdict

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

WRONG BLOLG. DON'T REBLOG THIS. DELETE POST DELETE POST DELETE POST I SWEAR WE'RE PROFESSIONALS HERE

17,283 notes

👑 courtroyals Follow

"we need more great prosecutors" you guys couldn't even handle manfred von karma

🧊 just--ice Follow

didn't he kill someone?

👑 courtroyals Follow

irrelevant. you guys couldn't handle him.

587 notes

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

law: i'm so law

lawyer, who needs to one up everyone no matter what: i'm more law than you

🏛️ lawyest Follow

hi

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

you've got to be fucking kidding me

183,834 notes

🧊 just--ice Follow

why is it always murders with lawblr. why don't we ever talk about divorce or something