#{{ but if you give her space and time she will come around eventually. she'll be terrible but not as much. but still horrid.

[acoldsovereign]

{{ Also, before I confuse anyone because I can sense an anon coming on-

Maiz is not ashamed or embarrassed of what she did to gain Trunks' attention. She is mortified (hiding her face in her hands) because she is compelled to be Vulnerable™ and that is a big Ick for her, even at that stage of their relationship where she doesn't exactly qualify as a tyrant/dictator anymore. She is uncomfortable because she's never, EVER, ever told Trunks why she did any of those things nor has she been THAT candid about how she felt about him and how exactly those feelings turned into fondness into (a sick, twisted yet genuine form of) love. It is the equivalent of telling your crush you like them and they say they like you back but then they ask you WHY you like them and you're shitting your pants because you didn't expect to be put on the spot like that.

Unfortunately I am a cruel, sadistic God and I don't care, get uncomfy so you can grow, NERD

[xazse]

look...I LOVED all of your puppy hybrid reader works. But just think about Kitty reader??? That was a stray and stsg find her. And it takes time to get comfortable for her. So there's lots of scratching and hisses but she'll come around sooner or later.

Oh she definitely would, the first day inside is rough, you don’t want to talk, eat and you definitely show no signs of wanting to be near them. Satoru had really laid it on thick when he got too close to you, invaded your personal space: you had no choice but to feel threatened at the man leering over you! You have no choice but to scratch at him then run and hide yourself in their shared bedroom locking the door in the process.

The next week Suguru tries to calm you down when you start giving him lip about what’s yours in this house and what they can’t touch. They’re appalled? Baffled even. You hiss and bare your teeth at them when your rummaging through their fridge as they attempt to get close, they keep telling that most of the stuff in there needs to be cooked in order to eat so you don’t get sick, you’re having none of it.

It’s like this for an exhausting month before you start showing signs of being comfortable, you slowly start letting Satoru touch you, slowly start letting Suguru touch you as well.

When you’re resting on the couch and Satoru boldly sits next to you, you make no move to strike at him: Suguru is watching the exchange from the kitchen shocked. Even when he begins rubbing your back, slowly inching his way up to your neck, you’re fully accepting it and leaning back purring. Suguru doesn’t want to be left out so he normally (attempts without distracting you) walks to the back of the couch and starts rubbing your ears, a little jumpy though you let him stroke them ever so softly.

You find yourself liking the touch from the two men, it feels good. Eventually you start mewling for more attention, slipping into their bedroom at night to smoosh yourself all over them to wake up. One of them usually does and gives you exactly what you’re craving. Feeling bad you always make sure to give them something in return: soft licks up their face.

It’s not long before you’re being treated like a queen, these men do your beckoning with no complaints.

Suguru has you propped up on a pillow on your stomach, legs spread. He has you in that thin nightgown that gives easy access, the no panties really is the icing on the cake. He’s behind you licking long stripes up your cunt, you’re so fucking sensitive, jumping with every bump against your little swollen clit. You’ve never felt this before, you can’t help it when you’re whining the entire time he’s eating you out, your poor brain turned to mush by the time he decide hes finished.

Satoru loves having you use that cute mouth of yours, he’s guiding you through every step of the way, no no you need to be extra careful with your sharp canines, roll your tongue around his length and coat it with your saliva: good girl he praises and you go crazy for those words.

They agree to not give you cock until your first heat comes, they want you begging just a little!

[traveler-at-heart]

Good Luck Babe

Summary: Wanda's boyfriend is the biggest asshole you've ever met. You think she'll choose you in the end.

Wanda Romanoff x F!R, eventual Natasha Romanoff x F!R

A/N: Don't be fooled by the summary, this is a Natasha Romanoff x R fic

Classes can be a drag. Especially the early mornings, where not even a cup of coffee can make you focus.

And then, there’s Wanda Maximoff, looking at the professor as she speaks, diligently taking notes while looking perfect, as usual.

She catches you staring and you have to look away, pretending that you weren’t just wondering how she manages to look effortlessly beautiful.

Class is dismissed and you take a minute to pack your things, preparing for the next session. You try not to roll your eyes as you find Wanda with her idiot boyfriend right at the door. As usual, they take up too much space, and you have to push one of them aside.

“Coming through, princess”

You don’t have to look back to know Wanda glares at you, annoyed at the nickname.

To be fair, the first time you used it you thought you were both involved in playful banter. Hell, you even meant it to be flirty, but she took great offense in it, which was the case with most things you did, whether they were aimed at her or not.

It was pretty clear she hated your guts. You just didn’t know why.

——

“I don’t know what her problem is” Wanda says, the music loudly booming across the house.

“What?” Jarvis says, leaning forward because he didn’t hear a word Wanda said. Partly due to the loud music and also because he’s looking at other girls, albeit discreetly.

“Y/N. She’s always being a total ass” the girl says, watching as you enter the house, avoiding her stare.

“She’s just jealous because you’re so pretty” he says and that’s enough to distract Wanda.

Across the room, you curse under your breath at the sight of the Maximoff girl. God, you hate her stupid boyfriend. Always runnig his mouth to his friends about Wanda, telling them private things… you’d overheard them at a bar once and it took every ounce of your being not to kill him right then and there.

Not to mention, the rumoured affairs that everyone knew about. Everyone, but Wanda, that is.

“You made it!” Carol greets you, and then follows your gaze. “Ugh, that guy’s the worst”

“Agree” you nod, turning to look at her. “Shots?”

“Hell, yeah” your friend says, taking you to the kitchen where Val is pouring some alcohol.

To your relief, you get to avoid Wanda for the entirety of the night, and as your friends arrive you quickly forget what had soured your mood in the first place.

Wanda, on the other hand, is not having such a great time. At some point while she was chatting with Pepper, she lost sight of Jarvis and can’t seem to find him anywhere. Knowing Stark could get crazy ideas, she worries that they might be doing something reckless so she goes around the house, looking for her boyfriend.

She’s expecting everything but seeing him with his pants around his ankles while a girl Wanda doesn’t even know gives him head.

“Wanda!” Jarvis shouts, startled.

“That’s not my name” the girl says, smiling playfully. “Or are we role playing?”

“I need to get out of here” Wanda says, closing the door.

Of course, he chases her down the hall, desperately sayig any excuse he can think of. Wanda tries to walk past him, but he blocks her from going downstairs.

“Don’t be so uptight about it” he loses his patience when Wanda refuses his apology. “Guys just need to do it more than girls, it meant nothing”

“You’re an ass” she says, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Wanda, don’t leave” he warns, as she finally walks around him to go to the first floor. The shouting makes some people turn around, and it’s almost impossible to ignore the commotion.

You’re standing next to Val and Darcy, unable to look away as the oh so happy couple keeps shouting at each other.

“Guess he got caught red handed this time” Darcy mutters. She and Wanda were friends but had a fallout and you suspected it had to do with Jarvis and his side pieces.

“Let go of me” Wanda insists when he takes her arm, pulling her close to him.

“People are staring, shut your fucking mouth”

“You’re hurting me” she protests, trying to losen his grip.

Maybe it’s the way she says it, so defeated or even scared, but those words make you snap, and you walk up to them, pushing Jarvis away.

“Stay out of it” he warns.

“Make me”

You are expecting the first punch so you dodge it in time, but he manages to land another one on your mouth, and you feel the taste of blood.

“You’re gonna regret this” you say, launching yourself forward until you knock him over, landing on a coffee table that breaks. Grabbing him by the shirt, you land two punches and go for a third one when he kicks you, making you gasp for air.

“That’s enough” Thor steps in, his brother looking delighted at the chaos. “You better leave”

Jarvis glares at him, but truth be told, Thor doesn’t like him and he is your friend. He leaves the Odinson house, cursing under his breath.

“I’m fine” you tell your friends as they bring over ice to put on your cheek.

“Want us to take you home?” Carol offers.

“It’s good” you say, shaking your head. “I should go, take some painkillers”

“Call us if you need anything”

“Ok” you pat Darcy’s back, leaving the house where everyone’s partying like nothing even happened.

As you walk to your car, you spot Wanda, sitting on the sidewalk, wiping away the tears that roll down her cheeks.

“You ok?” you ask, standing next to her.

“He’s an idiot. No, I’m the idiot for being with him” she rambles.

There’s a very sarcastic comment at the tip of yout tongue but you save it.

“Did he drove you here?” Wanda nods and you jiggle the car keys. “Come on, I’ll drive you to your dorm”

“I don’t want to be alone” Wanda hugs her knees, and in spite of everything, your heart aches for her.

“Any friends that can take you in for the night?” she shakes her head no and you sigh. “Wanna stay at my place?”

“Are you sure it’s ok?”

“Yeah, come on” you say, walking to the car. You drive in silence, eager to get home and put some more ice on the punch.

Wanda gets out of the car and follows you to the dorm you share with Carol, who usually stays with Val most nights.

“Take the bed” you say, handing over some clean clothes so she can change.

Wanda looks at you, and you feel uncomfortable at the intensity of her gaze.

“I… thank you, Y/N”

“Sleep tight, princess” you say with a smile and for the first time she doesn’t look upset as you call her that.

——

The smell of bacon and butter wakes you up and you stretch, trying to remember why you’re in the couch.

When you see Wanda in your kitchen, everyhing that happened comes back and you groan, rubbing the sleep off your eyes.

“Ouch” you say when you rub close to the punch on your cheek.

“You’re up” Wanda says, smiling. It’s a strange sight, as she’s used to glaring at you or just ignoring your presence.

“You sleep ok?” you say, trying to hide your blush when you notice she’s still wearing the clothes you let her borrow.

“Yeah, thanks” she nods, pulling up two plates with pancakes. “I wanted to thank you for everythig you did last night”

“No need” you say, grabbing a fork and eating. Wanda’s just being nice and you honestly don’t want to force her to interact with you, so all you want is to finish your food and give her an out so she can leave.

“He’s been texting me” Wanda says, looking at her food but not eating anything. “Saying it was a mistake, a one time thing and that it would never happen again”

“And you believe him?” you try to control your tone.

“I’d heard the rumors… even from Darcy. You probably know already”

“We assumed that’s why you fought, but she told us it was none of our business. And I know this isn’t none of mine, but you deserve better”

Wanda giggles at that and you look at her, intrigued.

“I’m just… I thought you didn’t like me”

“Where’d you get that?”

“The nickname, your constant glares across the room…”

Oh, shit. Here you were thinking you were obvious about your crush, and Wanda thinks you hate her.

“I hate… Jarvis. I knew he was a dick so I always disliked him. Seeing him with you. Yeah”

“Do you like me?” Wanda asks and you take a deep breath, shrugging your shoulders.

The girl smiles, finishing her food. You stay in the kitchen, fidgeting with your fork until she comes back, changed into her own clothes.

“I should get back. Do you need anything? Painkillers, ice?” she leans forward, her hand touching your bruise gently. Then, you notice her eyes drifting to your lips.

“I’m fine” you say and she nods, stepping back.

“See you in class?”

“Yes” you say, smiling as she waves goodbye. Carol walks in ten seconds later, looking behind her.

“Was that…?”

“Yes”

“Did you…?”

“No” you cut her off. “She just didn’t want to be alone after what happened”

“Y/N…” Carol says in that tone you dislike so much. You’re about to get scolded over something that isn’t that big of a deal.

“Carol, come on. She slept in my room, I stayed on the couch. That’s it”

“I just don’t want to see you getting hurt” your friend says and you nod. “I mean, you got a split lip and a black eye already so maybe it’s a little late for that”

“Yeah, that’s true. Come on, there are some pancakes left”

——

You tell yourself it means nothing. Wanda sits next to you during class, and offers a second scone she got from the cafeteria.

“How’s the eye?”

“I’m not blind” you shrug your shoulders. “Jarvis hits like a little bitch”

Wanda snorts at that, and you can’t hold back your own laugh. That attracts the attention of Professor Harkness, who focuses on your eye.

“Do I even want to to know, Y/L/N?”

“Nah” you shake your head and she rolls her eyes.

“Alright”

With that, the lesson begins. You try hard to focus, but Wanda smells really nice and you’re only human. At one point, she shuffles in her seat, her leg coming in contact with yours and you give up on taking notes.

“You ok?” to your surprise, Wanda follows you out of the classroom. “I can let you borrow my notes, if you want”

“Wanda” you stop abruptly, sighing. “Listen, you don’t owe me anything. I helped because it was the right thing to do. So don’t worry about paying me back in any way”

“That’s not… ” she stutters, fixing her hair. “I don’t really have any friends. I was always with him”

“Oh” you feel like an idiot. “Well, ok. I could use those notes”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, come on. I’ll trade them for a coffee” you smile, walking next to her to the library.

—

It surprises you, how much you and Wanda have in common. She likes sitcoms and though you’re more of a Friends kind of girl, it’s fun to watch those old shows where they dance and sing from time to time.

“I only know Dick Van Dyke from Mary Poppins” you confess one time, which prompts Wanda to invite you to her dorm for a marathon.

“Where are you going?” Darcy says when you walk past her and Carol that evening.

“Oh, this is gonna be fun” Carol smiles and you glare at your friend.

“Well, Wanda and I…”

“Oh, my God! You traitor. Brutus!” Darcy shouts, throwing a napkin at you. “She’s the worst”

“I wouldn’t know. You didn’t tell me what happened”

“She got you there” Carol points out, eating popcorn while she enjoys the show.

“That is besides the point”

“Look, I’m not putting Wanda on my will or anything, we’re just hanging out. And if she mentions you, I’ll be the first one to defend you”

Darcy sighs, chewing on her lip.

“It’s not about me. Wanda has the habit of just… using people when she’s bored or on a break from that idiot. And then they get back together and forgets about you. Which sucks. I wouldn’t want it to be the case for you, that’s all”

“I’ll be careful” you promise.

Once at Wanda’s, you’re trying to enjoy the show, but Darcy’s words are echoing in your head. You had to admit that if you spent more time with Wanda, you’d probably develop an even bigger crush. And if she went back to that asshole, it would hurt you.

Was it really worth it?

“Is the show boring? We can watch something else. I know it’s weird that I like this” Wanda pauses mid episode.

“No, it’s just… Darcy said some things…”

“Oh. I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t want to hang out anymore” she sighs, looking down at her hands.

“I’m just thinking… maybe it would be good if you fix things with her? Say sorry. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it”

“I can try, but you know her. She won’t make it easy” you both laugh at that. “Is that all?”

“Yeah” you lie. “Come on, let’s keep watching. I wanna know if Rob goes to Ritchie’s play”

Wanda smiles, this time moving closer to you. Her head rests on your shoulder, relaxing against you. It’s so intoxicating, to have her so close, to feel her warmth.

And all you can think over and over again is “please don’t break my heart”. But you can’t ask for the impossible.

—

You’re really not expecting Wanda to take your suggestion at heart, but one day you see her speaking with Darcy in the hallway, your friend pretending to not be interested in the conversation at all.

The only sign that she actually forgives Wanda is when you’re sitting with the girl at the cafeteria and Darcy sits next to you, carrying a tray.

“This is the only seat that I could find” she mutters unconvincingly, making you and Wanda smile.

Though you spent most of the time in each other’s dorms, watching movies or shows. You learn that Jarvis was the one that dragged Wanda to all those parties and anytime you invite her to one she politely declines.

Now, you’re staying in while the rest of your friends are at the Odinson mansion. You don’t know if they’re allergies or a mild cold, but you’ve been feeling sick all day and wanted to rest.

“Coming” you groan when someone knocks. You open the door to find Wanda on the other side. “You’ll get sick, what are you doing here?”

“I made you soup”

“Thanks” you take the container, and you gotta admit the idea of warm soup makes your mouth water. “I’d say do you want to come in, but I really do worry this might be contagious”

“I’ll be fine” she walks inside, finding her usual place in the couch and patting the spot next to her. “Come on. We’ll even watch that boring show you like”

“The Office is not boring!” you huff, making her laugh.

A couple of episodes later, and you feel your eyes slowly closing, a side effect from the  medicine you took. Wanda notices, and makes you walk to your room.

As you lay in bed, you’re drifting off to sleep when you feel Wanda sliding next to you, her hand on your forehead.

“Your fever is down”

“Mhm. Thanks to the magic soup”

“I’m staying, in case you need anything”

“Ok, baby” you nod, too sleepy to notice what you’re saying.

Wanda’s heart flutters at the term of endearment, and she watches you sleep peacefully, her mind racing with thoughts about what could this possibly mean to you both.

On the other hand, you don’t remember anything and are startled when you feel someone sleeping next to you.

“Wanda?” you say when you turn around, smiling at how cute she looks, all confused.

“I must have fallen asleep here. How are you feeling?”

“Better, thanks” you lay on your side, still smiling. Wanda is still thinking about the way you called her and it’s fairly obvious you don’t remember.

Still, she leans forward and you almost watch in slow motion as her lips meet yours in a short kiss.

“Why did you…”

“You make me feel… I don’t know. Safe. I’m sorry, if I crossed line. Maybe I should go…” she sits up and you follow suit, making her turn to you.

This second kiss is a bit more urgent and less delicate, but you hope it makes a point.

“Now I really hope that what I had wasn’t contagious”

Wanda laughs at that, her hand over yours.

——

The next few weeks you grow closer to Wanda. You spend most of the time at her place, watching sitcoms and more often than not, you end up making out on her bed, until you’re both out of breath.

She also enjoys teasing you endlessly, like that time she sat next to you in Agatha’s class and put her hand on your thigh. Your knee jolted forward, crashing against the table and making the professor glare at you.

This time, you’re supposed to be studying in your room, but you find that looking at Wanda as she goes over her notes is far more interesting.

“Stop” she says after a few minutes and you smile.

“I’m not doing anything”

“You’re staring”

“Can you blame me?” you crawl behind her, placing small kisses down her neck. She sighs at the contact, leaning against your front.

“Are you doing this to get my notes?”

“Maybe” you laugh against her shoulder, making her turn until you’re kissing her, and she pushes you down on the bed, straddling your lap.

“You better work for them, then”

Next day, when you’re done with your test, the first thing you do is reach for Wanda’s hand. To your surprise, she flinches away, grabbing the strap of her bagpack.

“Did you do ok on the test?” she’s quick to ask, hoping you won’t push it too much.

“I think so, yeah”

“If you pass, I’d say you owe me for borrowing my notes” she smiles.

“Well, we could go out to the movies. Or dinner?” you suggest, your heart beating faster. It’s a thought that has been going through your mind recently.

Not that you don’t enjoy the kissing and sneaking around, but you’re eager to take Wanda out, find new places together, talk about something else other than classes and her old shows.

“I’m not sure I can make it” Wanda says, avoiding your eyes again.

This new rejection stings and you drop your shoulders, looking for an excuse to leave.

“Yeah, you’re right. We have lots of stuff to do. I’ll catch you later” you say, walking faster and not waiting for Wanda’s reply.

The rest of the day is spent in your dorm, which isn’t unusual. The only difference is that you’re alone instead of enjoying Wanda’s company, and hiding from seeing her.

“Wanna go to Joe’s with us?” Carol offers. “To celebrate midterms are over”

“Sounds fun” you agree, because it’s been forever since you’ve been with your friends.

“You can invite your girl”

“She’s not my girl”

“Oh?” Carol tilts her head to the side, putting the pieces together. “So that’s why you only hang out in the dorms”

“What did you think we were doing?”

“Having sex like crazy”

No answer comes to you, because sex is something that hasn’t happened yet. Or maybe never, considering Wanda doesn’t want anything more.

“I don’t think she knows what she wants, Carol”

“Do you?” she asks gently. Your immediate response is a shrug of your shoulders, and it’s a lie, because you know exactly what you want. “Come on, it’s her loss then. Let’s just go out and have fun”

Meeting your friends does improve your mood and you’re happy you listened to Carol. You eat and play pool, until everyone gets restless and looks for something else to do.

“Heard Stark is having a party” Carol says, knowing he always gets the fancy booze.

“Pass” you’re the first one to speak.

“Why?”

“Isn’t he best friends with Jarvis?” Darcy says. “We don’t want to have another fight, do we?”

“Oh come on, there will be so many people he won’t even notice that you’re there!” Carol insists, and you can tell she’s gonna be stubborn and annoying until she gets what she wants.

So, you agree, but spend the whole time looking around, waiting for that jerk to pop out of nowhere and pick up a fight.

“I don’t think he’s here” Darcy says, patting your back. “Let’s just have some fun, then Val will drag Carol out of here and we can go home, yeah?”

“Sounds like a plan” you nod.

For the next hour, you do enjoy the party and are even surprised when Tony seems happy to see you. To be fair, he is a lot nicer than most of his friends. You’re relaxed, dancing to the music and doing shots with Darcy and Val, almost forgetting why you were so sad in the first place.

That is, until you walk out of the living room to get another beer, but the place is so crowded you bump into a girl.

“Sorry, are you ok?” you say, turning to make sure she’s fine.

Your stomach drops when your eyes meet Wanda’s.

She calls for you, but the sound of her voice is drowned out by the music and the ringing in your ears. Jarvis says Wanda’s name, and you take advantage of the distraction to escape, pushing people out of the way.

When the fresh air hits you, the first thing you do is bend over the railing of the porch and throw up, coughing and wretching violently.

“It’s ok” Darcy comes out of nowhere, getting the hair out of your face.

“Shit” Val sobers up immediately. “Time to go home?”

“Yeah, come on. Let’s get a cab” Carol says, patting your back.

They think you’re wasted, but all you are is heartbroken. Wanda was with him, after everything you’ve been through.

The shame over being so naive makes you stay in your dorm for the entire day.

Wanda shows up the minute Carol leaves.

“You should go”

“Please let me explain”

“I don’t think that’s possible” you shake your head. You know it, deep down. She’ll never give you a place in her life.

“We’re just… friends. He wanted to talk, apologize”

“Wanda” you plead, hoping she’ll stop. But instead, she pushes past you, her hands in your face.

“I can’t lose you”

“Why would I stay?”

Wanda answers with a kiss, that is slow at first, and then borderline agressive. You’re pushing, then pulling, unsure of what you want from her, but she pulls your pants down, just enough for her hand to fit, moving past your underwear and circling your clit. Your nails dig into her shoulders, gasping and breathing as she enters roughly, her fingers moving fast and hard.

It’s not nice or affectionate, but a way to further claim you, ruin you, brand you. Now she’s reached and touched more of you, and you’ll never be able to erase it.

Your orgasm comes unexpectedly, and after the high, you come crashing down. All you feel is bitterness and guilt and anger. Wanda stays inside, biting your neck. The sting reminds you, you’re only gonna get pain out of this.

—

It becomes a vicious circle. Wanda is distant in public, because more often than not Jarvis is by her side. And then, she corners you in any spot she can find, kissing you and pressing her body against yours.

The more you let her in, the weaker you are and it’s nearly impossible to stay away. It will hurt if she leaves, and it hurts to be with her.

“I don’t know how to stay away” you confess to Carol one particularly hard night. Darcy was called to offer her support, and she provided that along with snacks. “You were right, Darcy”

“I didn’t want to be” she says, holding your hand. “You’re the only one who can put a stop to this. She’ll never stop looking for you”

You can’t see yourself doing that, but then you walk past her in the hallway, and you hear her saying those words to Jarvis.

“I love you”

You couldn’t even get her to hold your fucking hand.

Pushing past her, you walk away, hoping to find the nearest bathroom and lock yourself there. Lucky for you, Wanda doesn’t follow you.

There’s someone else waiting outside.

“Miss Y/L/N” Professor Harkness greets and you nod, looking at your feet and hoping she doesn’t notice your red eyes.

“Professor”

“You’re too advanced for my class. My wife has a spot in her lecture. New people to impress, most of them pHD students”

Her emphasis in the new makes you understand.

You won’t have to see Wanda in class.

“Ok. I’d like that”

“Keep your head high, kiddo” Agatha says, her hand on your chin. “And don’t tell any of this to Rio or she’ll accuse me of going soft”

“Yes, Professor Harkness. Thank you”

“Mhm” she nods, giving her signature smirk and turning around.

One less place where you’ll have to see Wanda.

Soon after that, you change everything about your routine. Where you eat, study, even go out for runs. Hell, you change your phone number and Darcy is kind enough to let you stay with her for a while. That, and the Thanksgiving break are enough to give you three weeks of space.

It hurts and more than once you have to stop yourself from looking for Wanda. But what’s the point of being a secret? The longer it goes on, the more it will hurt.

Still, there are days when anger weights heavier than sadness. You’re mad at yourself, for being so stupid. At Wanda, because she was a coward and a liar. And those times, you get restless and go out to run, listening to music until you reach a hidden lake. It’s one of the few places you can be at peace, because you found it after Wanda broke your heart. So, there’s no ghost of her here, only you and your conflicting emotions.

Throwing stones at the lake is a way to pass time, and you’re doing exactly that when you hear rustling behind you.

“Sorry” a raspy voice says. Your eyes meet green ones, but these are softer, almost shy. The girl has beautiful red hair, braided with a few strands lose. She misinterprets your silence, and quickly retreats. “I’ll find another spot”

“That’s ok. I can… I can go”

“No, you don’t have to” she’s quick to reassure.

“Well, we can always share” you propose, smiling. The girl nods, and places her bagpack next to a log. She pulls out a book, and begins reading. You continue throwing rocks, stealing glances here and there.

“Is the book any good?” you finally ask.

“Depends”

“On what?”

“On your fascination with social expectations in Russian society during the 19th century”

“Pass. Got anything lighter?” you joke. To your surprise, the girl pulls out another book.

“How about the perils of indulging in romantic fantasies?”

“I know those very well” you say, grimacing. She puts the book down, smiling at you. You try to smile back, but turn your attention back to the lake until you’re able to calm down.

“Lit major?” you guess, pointing at the spot next to her. She moves her bag, allowing you to sit.

“Yeah. You?”

“Anthropology. Minor in Art History. I’m surprised we haven’t seen each other in the building”

“I'm a grad student, so I’m usually at the library” the girl says.

“No parties?”

“No one ever invites me” she shakes her head.

“I’d invite you” you blurt out, finding her blush adorable. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be forward”

“It’s not… you’re fine”

“So. Anna Karenina and Madame Bovary. Are you trying to find out if Tolstoy really wrote his book with Flaubert’s in mind?”

The girl gives you an appreciative smile, nodding.

“Yeah, but it’s more about how men in 19th century wrote about women. Even in two different societies, the protagonists are punished for following their desires”

“No one should be punished for that” you say, looking at her. She averts her eyes, holding back a smile.

“Why Anthropology?” she changes the subject.

“Because. We’re the same and we’re not, even thousand of years apart. Isn’t that fascinating?”

“How so?”

“Do you think you have anything in common with someone who lived thirty thousand years ago?”

“We need food to survive. Sleep, water, oxygen” she lists, and you nod.

“Mhm. All basic needs. Next question, did you make a drawing of your hand when you were a kid?”

“Everyone did” she says, as if it’s obvious.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to see what it looked like. Because it was my hand and no one else’s”

“And people thirty thousand years ago thought the same thing. And left their handprint in a cave in Southern France. Isn’t that something wonderful?”

She stays silent for a second and then smiles.

“I suppose it is, yes. To have an impact, so long after you’re gone too”

“You get it” you nod. “I’m Y/N, by the way”

“Natasha” she says, smiling at you.

The next few days, you catch yourself thinking about Natasha, and even with all the distractions, your mind goes back to her. It takes every ounce of self control to not wait everyday by the lake. Why would you want to get hurt, when you just started healing?

Love never ends well for Anna Karenina, Emma Bovary or yourself.

And yet… three days later you’re by the lake, holding a book of your own collection and an extra scone. You’re about to give up when Natasha shows up, and she seems as eager as you.

“Hey”

“Hi” she answers, a smile on her face. “Am I interrupting lunch?”

“This is for you. I mean, I was hoping I’d see you here” you stutter, looking everywhere but Natasha’s eyes.

“I was hoping to see you too” she confesses. It takes you by surprise, so she grabs the scone and the book as you try to gather your thoughts.

“Emily Dickinson” she reads. “Enjoying it?”

“You can borrow it if you want. I mean, yes I enjoyed it when I read it. But I just thought, you might like a change from male authors”

“Thank you” she nods, holding it close to her. “I actually have to go…”

“Oh, right” you nod, trying not to look disappointed.

“Can I have your number?” Natasha blurts out, her cheeks turning almost as red as her hair. “To give you your book back”

You smile, handing over your phone.

“I recently changed my number and I haven’t memorized it yet. So give me yours”

“Ok” she says. As soon as the device is back in your hands, you send her a text.

“See? Now I’m sure I gave you the right number”

“Talk to you soon. Thanks for the food”

When is it appropriate to text someone without looking desperate?

Either way, you can’t hold back your excitement as you walk to your dorm, jumping on Carol’s back as she’s eating her cereal.

“Are you mad?” she says, flakes and milk flying all over the counter.

“I’m just happy!”

“Why?” she glares, hoping you’re not back to your old ways.

“I spoke to a girl. And she gave me her phone number”

“Oh, my God! Y/N!” Carol shouts, the rest of her cereal thrown away as she dances around.

“What’s all the fuss?” Val says from the shower, concerned over the noise. Carol runs to the bathroom and opens the door wide.

“Y/N met a girl”

“Way to go!” Val joins the celebration and you’re about to say thank you when you notice she’s stepping out of the shower.

“Gah, bye”

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want your new girlfriend to think you’re a pervert!”

“Shut up” you say, walking to your room and flipping her off without turning back.

The rest of your evening is spent studying, but also looking at your phone waiting for anything to come through.

As you’re getting ready to sleep, there’s a text.

Nat: I’m ready to give the book back.

Y/N: It’s been… seven hours?

Nat: I’m a fast reader.

Nat: Secret spot? Saturday morning.

Y/N: I’ll be there

—

It’s the first time you’re there so early. The light filters through the leaves, birds chirping as their day begins with the rays of sunshine.

The walk to the lake is lovely, and you spot a couple of small flowers as you find your way to the place. Deciding to get one for luck, you twirl it around in your fingers.

You sit by the log, looking at the fog over the surface of the water when you hear soft footsteps approaching.

“I was afraid you’d stood me up” you joke when Natasha sits next to you.

“And stole your book?”

“The book, I could get over” you admit, giving her the flower. Natasha smiles, her fingertips caressing the petals delicately.

Your eyes are focused on the curve of her lips and those beaufitul eyes.

“Well, I’m here” she says, smiling when your eyes meet hers. “Thank you, I enjoyed reading it”

You take the book, your hands touching briefly.

“There’s a problem, though”

“What is it?” you say, worried that something’s wrong.

“I gave the book back, but I still have to thank you for that scone”

“Oh” you laugh.

“So, what is your preferred payment method? Ice cream? Coffee?”

“It’s a little early for ice cream”

“Then we’ll get it later. I know just the place”

“Yeah. I’d like that”

Though there are no classes, Natasha still has to meet with her advisor, so you chat for an hour until she has to go back to uni, agreeing to meet at your dorm in the evening.

“Is this a date?” you ask your friends on the video call as they agree on what you should wear.

“Of course it is, you silly goose!” Carol says, her face occupying half of the screen. “Wear something hot!”

“No, something comfortable. It’s an ice cream date, not a club” Val argues, trying to get a glimpse of the options.

“Something comfortable AND hot”

As they keep arguing, you opt for a pair of jeans, a white cotton t-shirt and a light jacket.

“Gotta go” you say when someone knocks. After hanging up, you are surprised to check Natasha’s ten minutes early. Plus, you don’t remember giving her your exact room number, agreeing you’d come down and meet at the lobby.

You’re about to open the door when the voice on the other side makes you stop in your tracks.

“Y/N? Please. Open up. I need you”

Wanda.

That voice, those words, the feelings you’ve been trying so hard to push away and bury come back. But instead of hurting you, they make you angry. You’re about to go out with a wonderful girl, who seems geniuenly interested in you. And here comes Wanda, trying to stain that as well.

Without thinking twice, you climb out of the window, holding on to the emergency ladder. You look down, unsure of what to do when you reach the last step.

"What are you doing?" Natasha says, rushing to stand above you.

"Parkour?" you reply weakly. "Is it too high?"

"Don't worry, I'll catch you"

Trusting her, you jump. Truth to her word, she eases the fall as you land, but you drag her along with you as you stay on the floor.

“Are you hurt? Why did you do that?”

Her hands are running over every inch of your face, going down to your shoulders and arms. The worry in her eyes only makes your heart beat faster.

“My roomate accidentally locked me inside”

You figure it's better than saying "My situationship is outside my door and I wanted to avoid her"

“You could have told me, and I would have gone and find her” Natasha insists.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Let’s get ice cream? I won’t ever do this again” you promise, holding her hand. The redhead rolls her eyes, but nods and leads you away from the building.

You make small talk, appreciating how her hand doesn’t leave yours as you get away from campus and to the walking district. You try to look discreetly behind you, hoping Wanda didn’t see you and followed you.

Natasha finds the store, opening the door for you.

“Rocky road, please” you give Natasha puppy eyes and she smiles, ordering strawberry ice cream for her.

“So, what’s your deal?” she asks as you leave the store.

“My deal? What do you mean?” you say, mouth full of ice cream. The girl wipes the corner of your mouth with her napkin.

“You mentioned parties. Are you some sort of wild girl looking for someone to charm every night?”

“Oh, yes, I’m quite the Casanova” you laugh. “No, come on. My friends are cool and we just like to have fun from time to time”

“So, not a player” she notes with a smile.

“I did get my heart broken, though”

“Fella done you wrong?”

“His girlfriend done me wrong” you correct, wishing you were talking about anything else. But truthfully, if you want things to work out, you better be honest. “She was with me, but only on her terms and as if I were a secret”

“I’m sorry, you don’t deserve that”

“I moved on. So, don’t think I’m just messing here, Nat. I really like you” you hurry to say, blushing slightly.

“I like you too” she takes your hand. “Now, let’s finish our ice cream so I can show you this awesome bookstore I found”

The next few hours are spent talking about college, some of your plans for the future and also, your friends. You smile when Natasha comments she’d love to hang out with them.

Before it gets dark, you walk back to campus. Worried that Wanda might still be at your door, you asked Darcy a while back to go check. Apparently, the coast was clear.

Natasha walks you to the door.

“I had the best time” you say, smiling. “We should do it again. Maybe go to the movies?”

“Would love to” Natasha nods, her eyes drifting to your lips. You lean forward, heart beating fast as you’re eager to feel her lips on yours.

“Are you still here? I told you to beat it!” Darcy opens the door, making you both jump back. “Oops, I thought you were someone else. Sorry, I’ll go back inside. Pretend this didn’t happen, make out”

“Darcy” you groan. Your friend doesn’t get inside, though.

“The famous Natasha. Y/N here won’t shut up about you”

“Shhh, don’t listen to her, she’s off her meds” you ask Nat, covering Darcy’s mouth and pushing her inside. As you close the door, you hold it so she can’t open it again.

Natasha laughs, her hands going to your hips and pulling you softly. You take a few steps forward, smiling as she lifts your chin, leaning to connect your lips in a slow kiss.

It’s mindblowingly good, although too short for your liking.

“So, when are we doing this again?”

“The date or the kiss?” she jokes and your hands go around her neck.

“Both”

“As soon as you’re free” she says, kissing you once more before leaving for the day.

Darcy snaps a picture the second you walk inside.

“That’s the gayest you’ve ever looked, congrats” she says, sending the picture to the group chat.

You roll your eyes, pulling out your phone and smiling.

Y/N: Best I’ve ever had

Nat: The kiss or the ice cream?

Y/N: What do you think?

Smiling at your phone, you walk to the couch where your friend is sitting.

“I’m happy that you’re happy” she says, relieved that you’re healing from everything that Wanda put you through.

“Me too” you sigh, pulling your knees against your chest. “Though I do have to ask. Did Wanda say why was she here?”

“I didn’t care enough to find out. All I did was tell her to leave you alone. And then I pretended you were inside so she wouldn’t go anywhere else looking for you”

“You’re a great friend” you nudge her with your foot and she glares.

“Ew, get that thing away from me”

“I take it back” you show her your tongue.

The next week, you text Natasha between classes, and though she’s very busy, she’s always making time to get back to you. You agree to go out on another date on Friday, but neither one can wait to see each other, so you end up at the library on a Wednesday evening, each one focused on your work.

Well, Natasha is focused on her work. You’re looking at her, because this is the first time you’ve seen her wearing glasses and it’s adorable.

“Find anything interesting?”

“Plenty” you say, not even pretending to be reading your notes.

“You’re not the only one who’s staring” Natasha’s eyebrow arches, speaking without looking up. “Brunette, green eyes, a lot of rings and eyeshadow”

“Oh”

“Is that the infamous ex?” she says and you’re scared she’ll be upset about this whole situation.

“Uhm… yeah. I’m sorry. If she’s making you uncomfortable, I’ll just leave…”

Natasha looks up at that, eyeing you up and down as you struggle to read her expression. She surprises you by pulling your chair until it bumps against hers, leaning forward and kissing you, one of her hands on your thigh and the other holding your chin, in that signature move that always makes your head spin.

“Maybe that’ll keep her away” Natasha says, smiling and bumping her nose against yours.

“You can’t just kiss me like that and expect me to focus on an essay” you say, biting your lip.

“Then let’s get something to eat. We need a break from all this studying” she proposes, picking up her things and leading you out of the library, her hand in yours.

You don’t care to look around for Wanda to check if she’s watching, because this moment with Natasha is yours. She’s holding your hand, kissing you, spending time with you whenever she can, instead of hiding you like you’re a dirty secret.

By being herself, she’s given you the one thing you always craved for. Something real.

Finally, Friday comes and you’re buzzing with excitement, getting ready to meet Natasha.

“Wanna go to a party tomorrow? You can invite your girlfriend” Val says, painting her nails while Carol throws a ball in the air.

“We haven’t had the talk about being each other girlfriends”

“What? And you call yourself a lesbian? This is the second date, you should be adopting a cat by now”

“Like you and Val with Goose?”

“Yes!”

“Well, sorry to disappoint the sapphics, I’m just trying to not scare her away. And about the party, yeah, if Natasha’s up for it, we’ll stop by”

“Alright, it’s at Stark’s”

“Oh. Maybe not, then”

Your friends share a look, and you glare as they both stay silent.

“You can’t avoid her forever” Val is the first one to speak. “She’s gonna keep looking for you, getting in the middle of what could be a good relationship just because she thinks she can”

“Yeah, next time you see her, don’t jump out the window. Open the door and tell her off” Carol agrees.

“You did what?” Val looks at you, baffled.

“It’s ok, Nat was there to catch me. Speaking of which” you hear a knock on the door, and stand up. “See ya, cat ladies”

“Hey! We only have the one”

You laugh as you open the door, but then you’re interrupted by Natasha’s lips on yours.

“Hey”

“Hello” she smiles, and then looks behind you as your friends whistle.

“Meet Val and Carol. My two former best friends” you grumble when they make kissing sounds.

“Nice to meet you” Natasha greets over your shoulder.

“Bring her home at a decent time” Carol says. “Unless you plan on having sex. In that case take her back to yours so she doesn’t wake me up”

“I hate you so much” you sigh, pulling Nat away.

“We’ll see you at the party tomorrow”

“Sorry about them” you mumble when you’re going down the stairs.

“What was that about a party?” she asks, opening the car door for you.

“Ever heard of Tony Stark? Big house, bigger ego. Loves to have parties. We don’t have to go unless you want to” you say, half expecting her to turn down the invitation.

“If you want me to go I’ll be there”

“I just want us to spend some time together, doing whatever you want” you say, blushing.

“I did promise I’d try going to a party with you, and it seems like the perfect time. Could meet the rest of your friends”

“Alright then” you nod, excited and terrified about how things could turn out if a certain someone is there.

Carol is right, though. You can’t be looking over your shoulder all the time, expecting Wanda to approach you and open those wounds.

If you have closure, in whatever way that is, she won’t have the power to hurt you anymore.

It’s hard to focus on the movie with Natasha by your side, her hand clasped in yours over your leg. At one point, you lean against her shoulder and she kisses your temple.

She’s so perfect, it makes you dizzy.

“What did you think about the movie?” she asks as you go out of the theater, her arm around your waist.

“It was good. I’m glad I understood most of it without having watched those other Alien movies”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have picked a different one” she protests, pulling you to a stop.

“I just want to be with you. Plus you looked so excited to watch it, I had a hard time saying no”

“Is that so?” she arches an eyebrow.

“Don’t use that against me, Natasha” you warn, getting ready to argue but her lips silence you, and you moan against the kiss.

It’s not nearly enough, and you need more of her, not just kissing.

“So if I ask you to go back home with me, will you still have a hard time saying no?”

“On the second date? What do you think I am, a harlot?”

“I’d count the lake as a date of it’s own. And the library too”

“So, this is like the fourth one?” you say, counting with your fingers.

“You don’t have to, I was only…”

Natasha’s words are cut off by your lips on hers, and she holds back a moan of her own when you run your tongue over her bottom lip.

“I’d very much like to go back to your place”

The drive back is silent, but not in an uncomfortable way. There’s a certain tension, and the expectation of what is about to happen makes you feel like your heart is beating out of your chest.

“This is home” Natasha says, opening the door to her apartment. Of course, as a grad student, you expected her to have her own place, but you still admire how homey it feels. There are books everywhere, which makes sense, and pictures of Natasha’s family.

“It’s lovely” you say, turning back to look at her. The tour of the place is forgotten, as you watch Natasha approach you slowly, her hands dropping to your waist.

“Nervous?”

“Yeah. A bit” you admit, because lying to Natasha has never been something you’d consider doing. “I want this to be perfect. And for you to really like it”

For me to be enough.

“It’s already perfect” she says, coming closer and kissing you slowly. Your eyes close as you enjoy the sensation of her lips against yours, hands wandering to your lower back. Without breaking the kiss, you discard your jacket and take hers off as well, and she immediately pulls you against her, your hands holding her cheeks as she deepens the kiss.

“Are we doing it standing up?” you ask when she breaks apart, breathing heavily against your neck. “Because I’ve never tried it, but I am open to experimenting”

“You could just say that we should take this to the bedroom” she laughs against your temple.

“Now, where’s the fun in that?”

Still, she laughs as you pull her by the belt loop of her pants, guessing that her bedroom must be that last door to the left.

“Bingo” you smile, opening the door. There are more books scattered on the nightstand and the floor, but at least the bed is clear. “God, Nat, your reading is gonna kill me” you say as you fall to the bed and make her land on top of you.

“Sorry, I don’t have company very often”

“Are you a virgin?” you tease, knowing full well she’s dated in the past, though nothing serious.

Instead of answering, she kisses you again, her lips drifting down to your neck, and then lower to your stomach. In one swift motion, she unsclaps your bra and lifts your shirt up, her tongue swirling around a nipple. You moan, surprised at the contact, holding her head in place as she moves to the other nipple.

“Does it look like my first time?” Natasha says against your lips, her hands going down to undo the button of your jeans.

“I’m sorry, I was only joking, baby” you say, and it’s almost embarassing how desperate you sound.

“Good girl” she comments, pulling your pants down. You struggle with your underwear and Natasha’s too impatient, so she pulls it aside and starts eating you out, her tongue making circles and swirling around your clit.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you say, biting your hand to keep you from screaming. Natasha nudges your clit with her nose as she moves to go up and down and you’re close when she stops. “Why?”

“I want to be inside you”

It’s a mystery, how your brain doesn’t stop functioning at that, but you manage to discard your shirt and start to undress Natasha, eager to feel her skin against yours. Once you’re both naked, she flips you, so you’re on top of her, straddling her lap.

“I’m debating if it would be better to have my fingers or my strap buried in your pussy” she says, and you wonder how the girl who is so well spoken can manage to be so crass.

Not that you’re complaining.

“Anything you want” you say, aware that you’re rubbing your center against her thigh.

“What’s that?”

“I… please. Just use me” you plead, desperate for some release.

Those words do it for Natasha, who takes out a strap on from her nightstand. You protest when she stands up to fasten it around her hips, feeling like you’re gonna combust if she’s not touching you.

“Shh, I’m here” she soothes you, laying on top of you and rubbing the strap against your entrance.

“Fuck me, Nat” you squeeze your legs around her, hoping she stops teasing you.

“That’s the plan, baby. Tell me if it hurts?” Natasha asks as she begins to fill you up, and you’re too far gone to give a verbal confirmation, nodding instead.

“More” you insist when she stops, searching for any sign of discomfort. Natasha thrusts forward, sinking the entire shaft and you moan, arching your back. “Harder”

Truthfully, Natasha’s never been so adventurous or forward in her sex life, but the way you’re pleading, clenching and panting underneath her, wakes something entirely new inside her. Pushing your knees against your chest, she moves in and out, reaching new spots that make you see stars.

“Yes, yes, yes” is all you manage to say, holding on to the sheets as your knuckles turn white. “Nat, I’m gonna…”

The words are stuck in your mouth as a powerful orgasm takes over, leaving you breathless. You feel Natasha slowing down her movements, and then she goes to kiss your neck, the strap still buried inside you.

“That was…” you sigh, trying to make your brain work. As your breathing steadies, your muscles relax and you let a finger run up and down Natasha’s side. “I don’t know what to say. You’re the one with the big words”

“That was fucking hot” she says, making you laugh. “And I’m not done with you”

Good thing your schedule was clear for the next day, because you weren’t getting any sleep tonight.

—

Your muscles feel sore when you wake up, stretching and turning in Natasha’s arms, watching her sleep.

Her alarm woke you up, but she’s still sound asleep.

“Nat” you say, moving her fiery hair out of her face. “Baby”

“No” she protests.

“Time to get up. You’re meeting your advisor, remember?”

Natasha curses under her breath, clearly not caring enough to wake up.

“Hey… what if I sit on your face?”

“I’m up” she says, opening her eyes and pulling you by the waist. “Come on, giddy up”

“Nuh-uh. Get dressed”

“Why would you lie about something like that?” she whines, burying her face in your neck.

“I didn’t lie, because technically, I didn’t say I’d do it right now. Get dressed, I’ll make breakfast and then we can go back to uni”

“Fine. But this discussion is not over” she kisses your cheeks, neck and then your lips, smiling as you laugh. “Morning”

“Morning, baby” you say, appreciating how beautiful she looks even with bed hair.

When she gets up, you find one of her t-shirts and go to the kitchen, looking at your options. You opt for french toast and make some coffee, because Natasha is definitely gonna need it to stay awake.

“Tastes amazing” she comments when you sit down to eat.

“Breakfast or me?” you tease and she almost chokes with her coffee. “Sorry, let’s eat”

“So, what are the plans for today?”

“Laundry, some homework. Standard stuff”

“Do you have any plans for lunch?” Natasha asks and you shake your head no. “Would you like to eat with me? After I’m done with my meeting and you finish your stuff, of course”

“Would love to” you say, smiling at how domestic and perfect it all feels.

Once you finish breakfast, you get changed and walk to Nat’s car. Parking close to your dorm, she kisses you goodbye and walks to the professor's offices.

You’re so distracted, thinking about everything that happened that you don’t notice Wanda sitting outside your dorm until you’re at the door.

“Wanda” you say, your hands in the pocket of your jeans. “Hey”

“Y/N? Did you just get here?” she says, looking around and then at the time on her phone. “You didn’t sleep here?”

“What do you want?”

“I want… to apologize”

You sigh, hoping the conversation ends soon so you don’t have to ever talk to her again.

“Anything else?”

“I thought he would change. He promised. But then it happened, again and again. And all I could think about is how you’d never do that to me”

“No, I wouldn’t. But now it’s too late. You made your choice”

“It was the wrong choice. Please, just give me another chance. I was scared before…”

“No, Wanda. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to hear it and we’re not gonna be anything at all. Natasha is… she’s amazing and I want to be with her. You had a choice to make and you went with him. And now… I have to choose the girl I’m in love with”

“Is there anything I can do or say…?”

“No. I’m sorry” you shake your head. Wanda nods, wiping away the tears. It does tug at your heart, seeing her so alone and broken. But it’s not on you to fix this.

Not anymore.

You let out a sigh when she leaves the hallway, turning in the other direction so she doesn’t see you wiping away a tear of your own.

Your eyes meet Natasha’s. She’s holding a bouquet, looking at you intensely.

“Nat. I can explain.”

The redhead drops the flowers and you’re scared she’ll walk away, but instead, she approaches you, lifting you as she kisses you. You sigh against her lips, holding on to her as if she’s the only thing in the world.

“I heard. Everything. You don’t have to explain anything” she puts you down, smiling. “I’m in love with you too”

“I don’t… know what to say” you laugh, craddling her face in your hands.

“No need to speak” she pulls you closer again, walking back until your're cornered against your door.

“I swear to God, if it’s that girl again I’m going to…” Carol opens the door without a warning, making you almost fall. “Awww, you guys! Val, come look! They’re kissing”

“With tongue?”

“I hate you so much” you complain, hiding your face in Natasha’s neck. She laughs, kissing your temple. “Now close the door so I can say goodbye to my girlfriend”

“Girlfriend? Val, they’re girlfriends!”

“Wohoo!” the girl screams from somewhere inside the apartment.

“Agh, it’s like having overbearing lesbian mothers” you slam the door shut, turning to Natasha. “I’m staying at your place tonight, or they will drive me insane with all their questions”

“Tonight, every night. Whatever you want. Just know… you’re getting very little sleep” she says with a smirk, kissing you.

“I can live with that”

[space-cowgirllll]

Tolerate It

pls enjoy this kinda angsty little thing I wrote a couple of months ago when I was really going through it in a relationship and have been too shy to post anywhere until today. I miiiiight have the second part to this halfway done. If this sucks I'm so sorry lmao it’s very lightly proofread and I have not written anything that hasn't had to be turned in for a grade in years.

Part Two

You sit alone at the table wondering how you ended up here. The dinner you'd spent the better part of the evening preparing grows cold as you sip on what has to be your third glass of wine. From your spot you can see Abby standing at the counter, speaking softly into the phone while she reads through the mail that had piled up over the last week. You pick at your food, hoping she'll join you eventually, but when fifteen minutes turns into twenty and then thirty five, you realize you're wasting your time. The laughter from the other room tells you the work part of the call ended long ago. Pushing your chair back, not caring when the loud noise earns you a glare from Abby, you gather your plate and blow out the candles at the center of the table.

Abby moves to sit on the loveseat in the living room after her call. It doesn't take long for her to get lost in the new book she had just brought home. Your eyes shift to the untouched plate of food still waiting for her in the dining room and then to the apple in her hand. The sound of  your throat clearing catches her attention.

"Your plate is still at the table if you want it, babe." You gesture to the lone plate at her usual spot.

There's a pang in your chest at the sight of the floral arrangement you'd chosen for the week. Behind that, strong wind pelts rain at the window. The gloomy weather a perfect representation of the storm brewing inside you.

"I thought I told you I had an early dinner with a couple of colleagues."

"Oh."

It comes out as a whisper. Not bothering to tell her she hadn't called you back after her lunch break. Again. You make a mental note to put the plate away before bed, knowing she'll pack it for tomorrow.

Your arms are elbow deep in soapy water, trying to rush through the last couple of dishes before she retreats to her study. The clanking of pots and pans fills the quiet space. You scrub at a particularly stubborn spot, trying to think of a way to bring it up without sounding too obvious.

"How was work today?"

"Fine." Your wife replies, not elaborating further.

"It's the twenty first, right?" There's some hesitation in the question.

"Yup."

Okay.

She doesn't look up from her book when you shuffle past her a little while later, placing a steaming mug on the coffee table. Her hand caresses the soft skin of your thigh and you perk up when she mumbles a soft thanks, placing a quick kiss on her temple. The sleeping cat on her lap stirs when you give him a gentle scratch behind the ear.

You settle into the sofa across from her and watch her read. She's in the cotton pajamas and fuzzy socks you'd laid out in the closet for her. It makes you feel ridiculously overdressed. Your hands fist the skirt of your dress, feeling foolish. There's a dark spot on the satin material from leaning over the wet counter.

The record player in the far corner of the room catches your attention. You miss the nights where she'd play you one of her favorites and dance with you around the living room before letting you sit on her lap as she read out loud to you. You never thought you would miss those boring medical journals. These days you're lucky if you get more than an hour with her before she locks herself in her study.

It hadn't always been like this. The two of you have been together longer than you've been apart. Visions of eleven year old Abby teaching you how to braid her hair for soccer practice flash in your head. Crawling into her bed in the middle of the night after another nasty fight between your parents. Summer vacations to her family's lake house. Her and her parents at every dance recital and play you'd ever been part of in high school. Realizing at sixteen that your feelings for the girl weren't so platonic. Then moving into the spare bedroom down the hall from her a year later after coming out to your family. Prom dress shopping with her and her mother, sneaking kisses in the tiny fitting rooms. The Anderson's were the family you never had.

Navigating young adulthood with Abby had been fun. You'd rented a tiny apartment in Seattle and paid way too much for it while attending university. It wasn't much, but it was home. You remember the dance parties in the tiny living room. The time the blonde begged you to let her keep the tiny cat she'd found in an alley on the way home one random afternoon. Going on dates and exploring the city. Staying up late and fantasizing about what life would look like in ten years. The look on her face as her thumb rubbed small circles on the exposed skin of your belly after you'd shown her your list of baby names. Getting married just after graduation.

Abby had never been too busy to show you how much she loved you, no matter how busy she got with school. Packing your meals for work, making sure your car had enough gas in it, organizing stay at home date nights whenever your schedules aligned. And you doing the same for her when she was up to her eyebrows in work for school.

The notes were your favorite. They had started appearing randomly after you'd been unexpectedly laid off. You'd been moping around the house for weeks, losing hope after not hearing back from any of the companies you'd applied to. Always in your favorite color, the purple post it notes could be found stuck to the wherever you'd see them first thing in the morning. The silly declarations of love and the affirmations always made you smile.

Those days were long gone. You were slowly going from high school sweethearts to two people who simply co-existed. No matter what you did or how hard you tried, it was getting harder to deny the lack of warmth in her eyes when she looked at you sometimes. Today proved what you had been too afraid to admit to yourself. The only person who had ever felt like home has slowly started becoming a stranger that slipped into your bed later and later each night.

Your eyes start stinging and you bite down on your lower lip. There's no way you're breaking down in front of her, not tonight. The warmth radiating from the fireplace does little to keep away the chill running through your body. Shaky hands bring the mug to your lips, hoping some tea would calm the nausea swirling in your stomach. You're not surprised to find yourself unable to keep drinking after a few tiny sips. Abby's favorite mug grows cold on the coffee table and you're positive she doesn't even remember it's there.

The sound of her phone ringing startles you both. Abby snatches the phone off the counter, a tired sigh leaves her parted lips when she sees who's calling. She jogs up the steps, intently listening to whoever is on the other end of the phone. You pick at the chipping nail polish on your left hand, watching the way your engagement ring glints in the dim light of the fire. Your stomach dips as you slip the stack off your finger, placing them in the small bowl on the coffee table.

"Are you going somewhere?" Your head shoots up to where she's standing in the threshold. The sight of her in a fresh pair of navy blue scrubs doesn't surprise you. Her loose bun traded for a tight braid that hangs over her shoulder.

"No. Why would I be?"

She gestures at your dress. Eyes roaming over your face, finally noticing the makeup you'd carefully applied hours before. You see her lock in on your empty hand, her sculpted brows furrow in confusion. Please say something. You beg, just wanting to understand why this is happening. Was she so busy she couldn't even bother to ask what's wrong? Did she even care anymore?

The constant buzzing of the phone in her tote bag answers your question for you. She shakes her head and turns to the door, stopping to slip her feet into her sneakers. You follow silently behind her, wondering if you should say something.

"Abigail?"

She hums in acknowledgment, not bothering to look up from her phone. Her fingers move at lightning speed across the touchscreen. Your nails dig into the palm of your hand, fighting the urge to snatch her phone and chuck it against the wall.

"What?" She asks again when you don't speak up. The look of annoyance on her face has you taking a step back.

"Nevermind," you turn towards the coat closet, pulling out her winter jacket. "It doesn't matter." You don't have to look back to know she's rolling her eyes.

"I should be back before you leave for work." You busy yourself with the already organized closet, pretending to move things around while she gathers the rest of her things.

"Be careful." You mumble, blinking rapidly to stop the tears from flowing. Not trusting yourself to say much more without your throat closing.

"Always am." She plants a kiss on the back of your head and heads out the door. It's only when you hear the sound of her car pulling away that you let yourself cry. No longer caring about the mascara that is certainly smearing.

Unsteady legs carry to the foot of the stairs where you collapse into a pathetic heap. Tears freely flowing down your cheeks, further staining the material of your dress. Your hands harshly pull at the fabric, wanting nothing more than to rip it off. The pins in your hair clatter loudly on the floor as you harshly pull them out.

Your sobs echo throughout the empty house. Pain radiates through your body, from somewhere in your chest to the tips of your fingers. The nausea has increased tenfold. You inhale sharply, resting your head on your knees. Watery eyes fixed on the front door your wife had just walked out of, this gut wrenching feeling of loneliness overwhelms you.

"Happy anniversary Abby."

[celestialprincesse]

Simon w/ his black cat GF🐈‍⬛🖤

She's def a cat lover and prefers her cat to pretty much everyone. A total introvert, which he's totally drawn to because she's as quietly clever and judgemental as he is.

She brings out his golden retriever loverboy side, which no one's done before, and all of his friends are utterly perplexed by how whipped he is.

He wants her because she's so unattainable and unbothered by him - like yes she thinks he's sexy as fuck and wants to climb him like a tree, but she's not gonna give his big ass Lieutenant ego that boost.

She's lowkey a little weird, a little unnerving, and she loves it. Most guys approach her and are very swiftly deterred by her intentionally unsettling vibe - Simon though? This man likes a challenge, especially one as pretty as her.

He thinks her general unbothered-ness and confidence in herself is really, really fucking sexy.

She also likes how he's still reasonably dominant in their relationship, likes how it gives her the space to be bratty and intentionally rile Simon up just so that he'll put her in her place, unlike her exes who pulled the whole "Why are you mad at me?🥺" shpiel. She hated that shit.

Simon? Yeah, no, he's perfectly happy to stuff his fingers in her mouth or give her a firm slap on the ass when she runs her mouth, loves the way her eyes go wide in surprise before she settles back into him, smiling when he presses little kisses into her hair with a quiet "There's my girl. Gonna behave f'me?"

Her cat loves him too, comes and settles on his lap when he sits on the couch whilst she showers or something and he just doesn't know how to react. He's a dog person, but he has to admit that her little snaggletoothed black rescue cat is kinda cute.

At the beginning of their relationship she tries not to be super clingy, but eventually gives up and is just super begrudgingly needy for him. She would ideally like to live in his skin or be actually physically attached to him at all times but she'll settle for perpetually sitting on his lap or having him carry her around the house like a koala.

[hard-core-super-star]

hold you in my arms tonight [K.Bishop]

pairing: alpha!kate bishop x omega!reader

summary: kate's spending another late night at the office and you do what you always do best: distract her enough so she'll pay attention to you instead

warnings: smut -> minors, look away this isn't for you! [omegaverse au; pet play is more than implied this time but it's not super explicit {kate calls R puppy multiple times}; grinding; lots of praise; soft kate hours; a very small dash of overstimulation; cockwarming; office sex; kate either has a penis or a super fancy strap, that's up to the reader to decide ;)]

wordcount: 2.4k

a/n: LISTEN- i have no explanation for this, i am haunted by alpha!kate and i needed to do something about it. i'm still NOT an expert on omegaverse au's at all so the worldbuilding isn't as fleshed out as i would like. OH and yes, this is technically set in the same universe as my last alpha!kate fic, it's technically a sequel. anyway, that's all, hope you enjoy and um...drink some water :)

* * * * * * *

“Tell him I don’t care, he better have that paperwork in by tomorrow morning or he’s fired-”

Your eyes slowly open to the artificial lights in Kate’s ridiculously large office as her annoyed voice rouses you from your sleep.

Despite her best attempts at making the space cozier for you, a plan that includes an overwhelming amount of blankets and a special bed, the bright light contrasts too harshly with the pitch black darkness on the outside of the window behind her.

You don’t know what time it is, or how long you’ve been asleep for, but it’s obvious it’s far too late for her to still be hunched over her desk. It’s not unusual for her to overwork herself but she’s been spending far too long in this office and you’re a little sick of staring at the same four walls, no matter how much stuff is on them.

Kate’s phone call isn’t over yet but your need to be near her is more overwhelming than your uncertainty. 

You slowly make your way over to her, the tension in her body getting clearer the closer you get to her. You’re not sure how to help and yet you continue forward with no plan until you reach her chair.

Your scent must give you away because Kate looks down to look at you the second you situate yourself on your knees next to her feet. Her free hand reaches down to stroke your hair while she continues arguing with whoever’s on the other line of the phone.

Despite your curiosity, you pay no attention to what she’s saying, assuming it’s just a bunch of CEO nonsense that you don’t understand. So, instead, you focus on the subtle change in the air around you.

The awful smell of the alpha’s stressed pheromones finally begins to dissipate a little as they’re replaced with the protective smell you’ve learned to associate with Kate.

You lean forward to rest your chin on her leg, a sleepy smile tugging at your lips while she continues to run her fingers through your locks. 

You’re not sure how much time goes by, and you’re pretty sure you end up taking another mini-nap, but eventually you hear the words that you’ve been waiting for. “We’ll sort this out tomorrow, I’ve gotta go.”

You look up at her as she finally hangs up and turns all her attention over to you. Your excitement must be obvious, and contagious, because she matches your smile with a bright one of her own. 

“Hi, baby,” she coos. “Someone’s still a little sleepy, huh?”

You let out a soft hum in response and bring your hands up to tug at her ridiculously expensive pants. It’s a habit you’ve developed over the course of her many, many, late nights at the office. Even though she always tells you to use your words, she can’t deny how cute it is when you get so soft and needy.

“Okay, okay.” She chuckles as her hands drift down to help you climb onto her lap. “Come here, sweetheart.”

You happily accept her help, letting out a soft little yip once you're fully situated. Kate looks down at you with the most breathtaking smile you've ever had the privilege of seeing.

"There you are, that's better, isn't it?"

Your nod of glee is almost instantaneous and it earns you another sweet chuckle. Her hand comes up to tangle in your hair, lovingly scratching your scalp and relishing the soft little sounds you make without even realizing.

Somehow, you end up wiggling enough to feel a certain hardness pressing up against you. It takes pretty much all your self control not to grind down harder against her and instead you whine while looking up at her.

"What?" She asks, her smile turned more and more into a smirk. "Do you not like your surprise? I've been thinking about giving you a treat all day, puppy."

It's not like you and Kate have never messed around in her office before but it felt different this time.

Maybe it was due to your lingering sleepiness or your need for her attention and affection. Or maybe you were simply needier than you thought. Whatever it is that's affecting you so much makes you want more of her.

The alpha's eyes darken as the scent of your growing arousal hits her nose. You've never met another person who is as reactive to smells as she is. It's as overwhelming as it is attractive, especially when her reactions are due to you.

Her hands suddenly move down to grip your waist and it's not until you feel her nails trying to dig into your skin through the fabric of your shirt that you realize you're grinding against the bulge in her pants. "Someone's getting ahead of themselves."

"Sorry," you mumble as a familiar warmth spreads across your cheeks.

"Don't apologize, baby. I love seeing how needy you are."

Her words make you grow needier which makes you feel suddenly shy. Kate's warm chuckle rings in your ears as you bury your face in her neck to hide your embarrassment. You were pretty used to how different the brunette was from the cruel alphas you'd known all your life but some things still caught you by surprise.

Such as her love for turning you into a shy, subby, little mess for her. You still weren't used to all of those things being good. Desirable, even.

You whine against her skin as her hands slip under your shirt, slowly exploring your stomach and the bite marks she'd left behind a few nights ago. Kate was insatiable, though, and going a few days without having her way with you was practically torture for her. Especially when you were around her all day, looking so adorable in her old, oversized shirt, and comfortably curled up in your puppy bed.

"You're too cute, sweetheart," she says, tilting her head back a little when she feels you nuzzling her. "You have no idea how hard it is for me to resist touching you all day."

"Then don't," you whisper.

You feel her laugh before you hear her. "Oh, that's naughty, pup. Is that something you'd like, hmm? Sitting on my lap while I'm in long, boring, meetings? Letting me touch you however I want?"

The idea causes you to moan, the sound coming out louder and needier than originally intended. It's not like it matters much, though, considering you two are the only people left in the office at this hour. And Kate loves breaking you out of your shell like this, watching you slowly let loose until you're helpless against your needy urges.

"Come on," she says, her hands sliding up your body until she's able to cup your breasts. "Use your words for me."

You instantly arch into her hands, the movement causing you to rub against the hardness in her pants again. "I would really like it."

"Good girl, darling." Her fingers play with your hardening nipples, softly tugging and pinching in the way that causes you to absolutely melt against her. "Go ahead, pup, I know what you want."

It's not exactly what you want but your hips instantly respond to her gentle command and you start grinding against her bulge. Even though you'd already desperate for more, the friction feels incredible against your soaked cunt.

"Someone's a little messy," she teases almost absentmindedly. It's obvious you're already too far gone to really comprehend what she's saying which only makes her want to tease you even more.

It took her more than a few months to get through your defenses enough for you to be this vulnerable with her. Your recovery process had been slow due to the amount of bad relationships and cruel alphas you'd been with in the past but she was slowly teaching you what it was like to be with someone who didn't care about stupid dominance hierarchies. She was just as much yours as you were hers.

You still don't have the matching mating marks to prove it, though, much to your dismay. Kate's still set on taking things slow and giving you time to recover before allowing you to make a commitment like that.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Kate asks, choosing that exact moment to thrust her hips up against you.

"Ah-" Your fingers grip the front of her shirt as your body shakes in response to her movements. "Good- Feels so good…please…need you."

"Yeah? You need me, darling?" Despite the teasing tone in her voice, her hand moves down to her pants.

Your brain doesn't fully register what she's doing through the fuzziness in your mind and you instantly try to grind against her hand. She chuckles which causes you to whine and rub your nose against her scent gland.

You know exactly what doing that does to her but you're not doing it to rile her up. Something that, considering her scent, might actually be impossible. Her pheromones are so strong and lust-filled that it makes your head spin but it's still not enough.

You need more.

Thankfully, Kate's just as impatient as you.

She uses one of her hands to lift you up enough for her to haphazardly pull her pants down. The potent smell of alpha musk hits your nose all at once and your whines grow louder.

"I'm right here, I've got you, baby." She shifts her hips and you gasp as the head of her cock parts your drenched folds.

"Please," you mumble, trying your best to stay still and patient.

"I know, just relax for me, okay?"

All you can do is hum in response and allow her to help you sink down onto her cock, gasping and moaning as she stretches you out. You doubt you'll ever get used to her size. To how well she fills you up without even trying.

"You're such a good girl, puppy." She groans as your walls clench around her. "Fuck, you're taking me so well, darling."

"Kate-"

A possessive growl builds up in her chest at the sound of you moaning her name. You can smell how aroused she is, how badly she needs to give in to her instincts and just take. And yet, despite her own needs, she moves painfully slow, giving you all the time you need to get used to her size.

All it takes is one shallow thrust before she's fully sheathed inside you. Her head drops down onto your shoulder, her loud pants filling the air between you for the next few seconds.

You appreciate how gentle she's being, especially since your neediness only serves to make you even more sensitive than usual, but you're already teetering on the edge of an orgasm.

You can't stop yourself from shifting against her when she doesn't move. She chuckles, the sound slightly muffled by your shoulder.

"Close already, sweetheart?" She asks, her voice far too sweet for the teasing words she speaks. "We've barely started."

"Please-" You don't care how desperate you sound, how borderline pathetic it is that you want to cum already, all you care about is her.

She shushes you as her hands grip your hips. "It's alright, just enjoy it. I'm right here with you."

"Uh-huh," you mutter, completely intoxicated by her scent and the possessive dominance that coats it.

"You're so cute like this."

The soft praise makes your walls clench around her and your both moan in response to the sensation. It's more than enough to spur her on and she wastes no time in helping you ride her, practically moving you up and down her length on her own.

You try to hold yourself up but then she starts thrusting up into you and you practically go limp in her arms. She notices, the rumble that emanates from her chest makes that perfectly clear, yet decides not to comment on it. Instead, she does what she can to pump out comforting pheromones as she continues to overwhelm you with pleasure.

"Doing so good for me, baby." One of her hands leaves your hips and snakes its way between your legs. She barely holds back a groan as her fingers meet your wetness. "Fuck, you're soaked. My poor puppy's so needy, aren't you, darling?"

"Yea-" Your words give out the second the tip of her fingers tease your sensitive clit. "Kate!"

Her touch is gentle despite the growing sloppiness of her thrusts. "I know, cum for me, don't hold back, pup."

The firm encouragement is all you need to let yourself go. All you can do is moan breathlessly and hold onto Kate like she's your rock. Which she is, in more ways than one.

The alpha in question holds herself back until she's sure you're lost in the throes of pleasure. She doesn't have to, you've told her that at least a dozen times, but she does it every time without fail. Your pleasure will always come first for her.

Something that only makes her orgasms all the more intense.

It quickly becomes impossible to tell whose moans are louder and before you know it, both of you are breathless, panting, and pressed up impossibly close.

"Holy shit," the brunette mumbles, her body shuddering through the aftershocks of her orgasm.

"Mhmm," you reply absentmindedly.

Your exhaustion comes back with a vengeance as you recover in her arms. Kate obviously notices but no amount of soothing phenomes can win out over the smell of musk and sweat and clings to both of you.

"You did so good for me, you're always so good." Her fingers brush against your clit again and you instantly squirm against her.

"Kate…" you mumble against her neck.

"Too sensitive?" She asks even though she already knows the answer. "How about you take a nap and I'll wake you in a bit?"

You instantly huff. "What about going home?"

"In a little while," she promises, the hand on your hip coming up to rub your back. "I have a few things I need to finish up first."

"You work too much."

"You're the one who won't stop distracting me."

Your silence is just as effective at making her chuckle as your pout. She leans down to pepper kisses down your neck and across your shoulder.

"I'm kidding, baby. You know I love you."

"I know," you mumble as your sleepiness mixes with your shyness.

And it's true.

You might not be ready to say it, much less to be fully mated to her, but you know deep in your heart that she loves you.

Because you love her just as much.

[dazzlingjaeyun]

𝟐:𝟏𝟖𝐚𝐦 𝐩𝐭. 𝟐 - 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠

situationship!heeseung x fem!reader

genre: angst

warnings: cursing, suggestive if you squint your eyes

word count: ~3.3k

a/n (!!): this can be read as a sequel to part one, as well as an alternative ending to the story. the first part can be read alone, too, if you liked the way it ended, however, if you want to read part 2, i advise to read part one first for context <3

↝ dazzlingjaeyun's bookshelf

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

part one | part two

when heeseung woke up the next morning, his head was pounding - clearly the aftermath of the night before. almost instinctively, he reached for the glass of water, popped a pill out of the blister of painkillers, and quickly gulped it down. mentally noting to thank you as soon as you'd wake up, he turned around to check on you, only to realize the spot you'd usually take in the bed was empty and cold.

that's when the memories of the last night's conversation hit him with such force, he was sure it would have knocked him down had he been standing.

"fuck," he muttered under his breath, running his hand over his face as he remembered the words you could barely get out under all the tears; don't call me again.

only remembering how you'd left him shortly before he'd passed out, he slowly stood up from bed and quietly made his way to the livng room, assuming that this was where you'd spent the night.

when he found the sofa as empty as the bed, an uncomfortable feeling started to creep up on him. where the hell had you gone?

after he'd searched the entire apartment without a trace of you, he quickly went back into the bedroom, found his jeans that were discarded on the floor and fumbled his phone out of the pocket. ignoring any other notification on his lockscreen, he immediately went to the contacts and scrolled down to your name.

his thumb hovered over the call-button for a while as he replayed your last words like a broken record. don't call me again. he sighed, ran his hand through his hair, and decided to call nevertheless - only to reach your voicemail before he could even lift the phone to his ear.

"where the fuck are you?" he mumbled to himself, before calling another contact.

"hyung? why are you even up so earl-"

"is she with you?" heeseung interrupted his younger friend.

on the other end of the line, sunghoon sat up in his bed and rubbed his eyes with a yawn. "what the fuck are you talking about, man?"

"y/n. is she with you?" heeseung insisted, his mind flashing back to the conversation you'd had about the younger the night before. maybe he was right and you went to sunghoon yet again?

the younger let out a groan, visibly irritated by why the hell his friend would wake him up just to ask the most stupid question. "what do you mean is she with me? she picked you up yesterday"

"like i don't know," heeseung snapped back, growing impatient, "but she's not here."

"dude, i don't know, she probably just went home," sunghoon sighed.

but i'm at her place, heeseung thought. he didn't want to speak those words, didn't want his friend to think you ran away from him in your own home.

"give her some time, she'll call you," sunghoon said after a moment of silence from his older friend. heeseung just hummed in response and hung up the phone.

he glanced around the apartment. part of him expected you to come back, maybe not right away but eventually. you always came back. the presence of your things all over made it easy to believe you’d be back, as if nothing had changed. he stuffed his hands into his pockets, feeling the weight of the silence pressing in.

she’ll come back, he told himself, his jaw clenched. it was easier to think that than to acknowledge the unsettling feeling that maybe this time was different. she just needs space.

he put on his jacket, giving the apartment one last look before heading out.

when you returned home hours later, the silence was oppressive, hanging heavy in the air. you placed your bag down, avoiding the mirror in the hallway. you didn’t want to see the evidence of how much the night had taken from you.

your feet dragged you to your bedroom, and when you crawled into bed, the familiar scent hit you like a punch to the gut. the sheets smelled like him. faint but unmistakable. you froze, staring up at the ceiling, your heart pounding in your chest as memories of him beside you - holding you, touching you - flooded back.

for a second, the urge to rip the covers off, to erase every trace of him, surged through you. but instead, you clenched your jaw, pulling the sheets tighter around yourself, trying to block out the familiar ache in your chest. the memories hurt, and you were tired of hurting. you had cried enough, and you refused to let him have any more of your tears.

but sleep didn’t come easy. your mind wouldn’t stop racing, replaying every word, every touch, until exhaustion finally pulled you under.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

on the other side, heeseung was starting to feel it. at first, he had brushed it off, convinced you were just being dramatic. maybe you needed a few days to cool off, and then things would go back to normal. but when you didn’t respond to his texts, when his calls went unanswered, the absence became hard to ignore. he wasn’t used to this - you being completely unavailable. it felt unnatural, like something was missing from his life.

it was starting to frustrate him. why were you being so difficult? heeseung paced his apartment, phone in hand, waiting for a message that never came. he felt restless. uneasy. why the hell is she doing this?

three days passed. then four. then almost a week. the realization hit him hard one evening when he sat alone in his apartment, scrolling through his phone. he had no one to call. no one he wanted to see, no one he wanted to spend time with. he thought of you, as usual, but for the first time, there was no easy way to reach you.

heeseung dropped by sunghoon’s place a few days later, feeling more frustrated than ever. you still hadn’t answered his messages or calls, and it was starting to weigh on him in ways he hadn’t anticipated. heeseung flopped down on the couch, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

sunghoon glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. “you look like hell, man. what’s up?”

heeseung let out a bitter laugh at his friend's remark. “it’s… her. she hasn’t talked to me since that night.”

sunghoon’s expression shifted into one of confusion. “what do you mean? did you guys break up?”

heeseung scoffed. “no, it’s not like that. we were… you know. casual.”

sunghoon blinked at him, clearly taken aback. “casual? dude, you always called her ‘your girl', getting all possesive and shit. you acted like she was more than just some hookup.”

heeseung rolled his eyes, trying to dismiss the weight of the words. “no, man. we weren’t serious. it’s just... we’ve been seeing each other for a while, but that’s it.”

“that’s it?” sunghoon repeated, his voice growing a little sharper. “heeseung, she was at your place all the time. it was like she was your girlfriend whenever she hung out with us.”

heeseung sighed, leaning back against the couch. “it wasn’t serious like that.”

sunghoon shook his head, frowning. “are you hearing yourself? she’s been by your side for months, man. i thought you were serious about her - we all did. and she clearly thought she meant something to you, too.”

heeseung opened his mouth to argue, but sunghoon cut him off, his tone more serious now. “remember that night you got jealous? when she was crying in my arms? you acted like she was yours, like you had some claim on her.”

heeseung tensed, a flash of guilt hitting him. “i remember,” he muttered. that night had bothered him, seeing you so upset, but instead of comforting you, he had focused on how he felt - how seeing you so close to sunghoon had made him jealous.

sunghoon’s voice softened, but there was still a sharp edge to it. “she was crying because of you. you can’t just expect her to stick around forever while you figure your shit out.”

heeseung stayed silent for a moment, the weight of sunghoon’s words pressing down on him. he had always seen you as someone who would be there - no matter how many times he screwed up. but maybe that was exactly the problem. he had taken you for granted, assuming that you’d never leave, that you’d always come back to him, even when he didn’t deserve it.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

it was late when heeseung finally dialed your number. his heart was pounding in his chest, but he didn’t hesitate. he couldn’t stand the silence any longer.

the phone rang. once. twice.

you picked up on the third ring, and the sound of your voice, though quiet and tired, hit him like a wave. “heeseung, it’s late,” you said, your tone firm.

he could hear the exhaustion in your words, and he felt a sharp pang of guilt. “i know. i know it’s late,” he said quickly, his voice softer than usual. “but please, i need to talk to you.”

you sighed, and he could already hear the walls going up. “ask one of your friends to take you home this time. i’m not going to take care of you. i’m done.”

he swallowed hard, the weight of your words heavy on his chest. “i’m sober.” his voice was quiet, softer than usual. “i’m not drunk or high or… anything. i just want to talk.”

you hesitated. every fiber of your being was telling you to hang up, but a small part of you - one that hadn’t fully shut him out - wanted to listen. “heeseung, i don’t think i can do this anymore. i told you not to call me.”

“i know. i know. just… please. i need to say something,” he pleaded, and there was something in his voice that felt different this time. less cocky, more vulnerable. “i don’t know what’s wrong with me, okay? i’ve been thinking about it, and i realized i don’t know how to do this - how to be with someone. i get scared.”

you stayed silent, listening to him for once.

“i like the idea of someone being there for me, but the second i feel like i have to actually be there for them too, i panic,” he admitted, his words tumbling out quickly, like he was afraid he’d lose the courage to say them if he didn’t get them out fast enough. “i’m not good at this, y/n. i don’t know how to care for someone the way you care for me.”

you swallowed hard, your heart twisting. “so what, you just use people because it’s easier for you?”

“i didn’t mean to use you. i just… i’m messed up. i don’t know how to let anyone in without screwing it up.”

you sighed. “and now that you’ve screwed it up, you think saying this will fix it?”

“i don’t know,” heeseung replied softly. “but i’m sorry. i really am. i never wanted to hurt you, and i don’t want to lose you.”

you could feel your heart cracking a little at his words. the rawness in his voice was something you hadn’t heard from him before. but the pain was still there, lingering just beneath the surface. “i can’t just forget what you did,” you said quietly.

“i know. i’m not asking you to,” he said. “i just wanted you to know that i’m trying to understand. and… i miss you.”

that last part made your chest tighten. you could hear the sincerity in his voice. you closed your eyes as your vision went blurry, taking a deep, shaky breath.

“i miss you too,” you whispered, almost hating yourself for saying it. “but i can’t keep doing this with you, heeseung." you paused, " not unless something changes.”

“i’m willing to try,” he replied, his voice thick with something that sounded almost like desperation. “i don’t know if i’ll get it right, but i don’t want to lose you.”

you sighed deeply, your mind racing with conflicting emotions.

“let’s talk tomorrow,” you finally said, your voice shaky. “when it’s not the middle of the night.”

“okay,” heeseung agreed quietly. “thank you… for picking up. i mean it.”

you didn’t reply, just ended the call and stared at your phone, heart pounding in your chest. you weren’t sure where this would lead, but for the first time, it felt like heeseung was finally seeing things from your side.

the next day felt heavy, as if the conversation had left an invisible weight pressing down on your chest. you couldn’t shake the uncertainty, the lingering question of whether heeseung’s words meant anything more than a momentary admission. he had opened up, sure, but words were easy. change wasn’t.

as you went through your routine, your phone stayed unnervingly quiet. part of you had expected a flood of messages from him, desperate to follow up on what he had said, but nothing came. and as the hours passed, doubt started to creep in. maybe last night was just a slip, a moment of weakness on his part. maybe you’d never hear from him again.

but by the afternoon, a single text arrived:

can we talk tonight?

your thumb hovered over the screen, hesitating. part of you wanted to ignore it, to shut him out for good, but something inside wouldn’t let you. you had agreed to talk. you couldn’t walk away just yet.

okay. come over at 8.

the hours crawled by until the clock finally hit eight, and you heard a knock on your door. heart pounding, you opened it to find heeseung standing there, looking more nervous than you’d ever seen him. no smug smile - just raw uncertainty in his eyes.

“hey,” he said softly, stepping inside when you moved to let him in. you closed the door behind him and led him to the living room, where the two of you sat down on opposite ends of the couch.

“so…” you started, the awkwardness hanging thick in the air. “you wanted to talk?”

heeseung nodded, running a hand through his hair as he exhaled slowly. “yeah. i’ve been thinking a lot about what i said last night... and about us. about how i’ve treated you.”

you didn’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.

“i realized… i’ve never really known how to be with someone,” he began, his gaze focused on his hands in his lap. “i’ve always kept things casual because it’s easier. you don’t have to care as much, you don’t get hurt as much. but with you, it got complicated. i didn’t know how to handle it when you wanted more from me, when you needed me to be there for you. and instead of trying to be better, i pushed you away or used you when it was convenient.”

he paused, glancing at you with a look of regret. “i messed up, y/n. i took you for granted because i didn’t know how to deal with my own feelings. i just… kept hoping you’d stay, no matter what i did. and... you did, so i always thought we were good.”

you looked down, biting your lip as a wave of emotions surged through you. for a long time, you’d held onto your own feelings, never really telling him just how much he had affected you.

“heeseung… i liked you,” you admitted, your voice quiet but steady. “i liked you for so long, probably way before i should’ve. but every time i got close to you, i ended up getting hurt. you made me feel like i didn’t matter, like i was just... there when you needed me and nothing more.”

heeseung’s face softened, guilt clear in his eyes. “i never meant to make you feel that way…”

you sighed, shaking your head. “i know. but that doesn’t change the fact that you did. i kept coming back to you, even when i knew it wasn’t good for me, because i wanted more time with you. i wanted to believe you’d see me differently, that maybe one day you’d realize that i wasn’t just some girl to keep around when it was convenient.”

his expression twisted with regret, and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “i wish i had seen that sooner. i really do.”

“honestly, i don’t even know why i never walked away,” you continued, your voice cracking slightly. “maybe because i liked you too much. i thought maybe if i gave you more time, more chances, you’d realize that i cared about you. but instead, i just kept getting hurt.”

the room fell into silence, the weight of your words hanging between you. heeseung ran a hand through his hair, exhaling slowly. “i know i’ve hurt you,” he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. “and i don’t deserve for you to give me another chance. but i want one. i want to try.”

you looked at him, the rawness in his voice tugging at something deep inside you. he wasn’t making excuses or brushing off what he’d done. for the first time, he was acknowledging the pain he’d caused, and that made it harder to keep your guard up.

“i don’t know if i can trust you again,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

heeseung leaned back, his gaze never leaving yours. “i know. and i don’t expect you to. not right away. but please give me one last chance to earn it.”

“and what happens if i stay now?” you asked, your voice firmer now. “what if things get hard again? will you just push me away like you always do?”

heeseung shook his head, his expression sincere. “i don’t want to push you away anymore. i’m scared, yeah, but i want to try. i don’t want to lose you because i was too much of a coward to figure this out.”

the vulnerability in his words hit you hard, and you could feel the cracks in your walls widening. part of you wanted to believe him, to let him try, but you still weren’t sure if you could take that risk again - now that you'd finally taken a step back from him.

“i need time,” you finally said, your voice wavering. “i need to see that you mean it. i can’t just fall back into the way things were.”

he nodded, a hint of relief in his eyes. “i understand. take as much time as you need. i’ll wait.”

you stood up, needing to break the intensity of the moment. “i think we should call it a night.”

heeseung stood too, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he nodded. “okay. thank you… for giving me a chance to explain.”

you walked him to the door, your mind still spinning with everything he had said. as he stepped out into the hallway, he turned to you one last time. his hands were itching to pull you into his embrace, to hold you close as if that could put together all of the pieces he broke. but he didn't move; he would be okay with just the chance you gave him, the chance he didn't even deserve, and he woulnd't mess it up. “goodnight, y/n.”

“goodnight, heeseung.”

you closed the door behind him, leaning against it as you exhaled deeply. your heart was torn between wanting to believe in his change and the fear of being hurt again. you weren’t sure what the future held, but for now, at least, you had both taken a step forward.

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍

thank you so much for reading up until here. it means the entire world to me and i hope you guys enjoyed it. please do not copy. ❤︎︎

- dazzlingjaeyun

join my taglist here

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @wabatle request: omg wowie requests are open!!

i know we were talking about the ddlc girls, so if you feel like it, you should just write about whatever random dating hcs you have!

no pressure, obviously, so take care and DRINK WATER ♡♡♡

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Yeah!! Omg I love the free hand I'm getting here >w<

Anyway, I tried my best to do lil nice dating hcs but we'll see if it's actually good! Hopefully you'll like it!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ gf!Sayori who wakes up early just to make sure she'll get to walk with you to school

✧ gf!Sayori who rambles to other literature club members about you, they thought you two were dating even before you did

✧ gf!Sayori who's friends always know every smallest and cutest detail due to her rambling so much

✧ gf!Sayori who eventually stops hiding her depression from you

✧ gf!Sayori who sees you as her only comfort space and let's herself show her true feelings around you

✧ gf!Sayori who openly admits you're her reason to wake up during romantic moments, and shows you how much she's glad to have you by her side

✧ gf!Sayori who goes on playground dates with you despite the age

✧ gf!Sayori who's still childish and genuinely get's distracted sometimes whenever she spends time with you

✧ gf!Sayori who's gonna get way too quiet when someone starts flirting with you

✧ gf!Sayori who can only be calmed from jealousy and insecurity by you spoiling her with affections~

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@hayillaaaaaaa - come get your hungry sleepyhead!

✧ gf!Yuri who opens up only when you two are alone

✧ gf!Yuri who turns into such a rambler when she's around you, other people have hard time believing it's her when you tell them about it

✧ gf!Yuri who recommends you books with little notes

✧ gf!Yuri who doesn't need you telling her when you're done reading a page, because she already got your peace remembered and always flips a page in the perfect moment

✧ gf!Yuri who often finds you a bit more interesting to look at than the book

✧ gf!Yuri who'll turn into tomato whenever you catch her staring, shakily replying you just had some dust on your face (spoiler: you didn't)

✧ gf!Yuri who sometimes will leave little notes in books she borrows you to make your day and show her love

✧ gf!Yuri who finds letters and small poems easier way of telling you she loves you

✧ gf!Yuri who's gonna bluntly tell the person flirting with you to get the heck away, not holding back for once and you can't believe it's still the same girl...

✧ gf!Yuri who'll get all shy when you remember her about how she acts when she's jealous

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@hayillaaaaaaa - come get your shy bookworm~

✧ gf!Natsuki who slows down her temper just for you and your comfort

✧ gf!Natsuki who usually has sleepovers at your place

✧ gf!Natsuki who bakes your favorite sweets at least every week because she loves hearing all the compliments and seeing your smile

✧ gf!Natsuki who's never gonna admit it, but she actually spends more time on baking when she knows you're gonna be trying what she makes

✧ gf!Natsuki who either gets you into manga or shows you the best ones you ever read!

✧ gf!Natsuki who shows you she can indeed write romantic poems, even if they're a bit silly at first

✧ gf!Natsuki who will never yell or insult you seriously

✧ gf!Natsuki who'll turn into softie and comfort you when she sees she accidentally hurt you with her sarcasm

✧ gf!Natsuki who's ready to insult anyone who has the guts to flirt with you, and she makes sure that they leave first

✧ gf!Natsuki who'll talk shit about the girl that just flirted with you

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@hayillaaaaaaa - come get your tsundere!

✧ gf!Monika who writes you many songs about how she feels about you

✧ gf!Monika who always takes pictures of you two on your dates

✧ gf!Monika who's like your mom when it comes to caring about your health

✧ gf!Monika who gives you new poem around every 3-5 dates because she just loves them too much to not express it

✧ gf!Monika who's affections are always silent but hard to miss

✧ gf!Monika who loves surprising you with poetic love lines in the middle of your date

✧ gf!Monika who remembers small habits of yours and your preferences

✧ gf!Monika who sometimes steals glances at you, especially in Literature Club

✧ gf!Monika who'll wave at you with small smile whenever you catch her staring

✧ gf!Monika who'll stare daggers at any girl that approaches you and you'll never know if she's really planning something or just a great actor...

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@hayillaaaaaaa - come get your perfect pianist~

[upat4amwiththemoon]

so i checked out your guidelines and you said that you like plot to be included too so i hope this isn't too much for you.

R is 11 here if that's okay with you.

can i ask you to write an avengers x teen!reader where tony adopts a kid from foster care and the team is trying to get her to open up but she locks herself in her room because she's used to moving from home to home or being abused in the system so she's scared to do anything normal like interact and stuff like that. when they showed her room on the first day she was hesitant to go in bc she's used to poor treatment. Wanda and Nat are the first ones to notice her behavior and they point it out to the rest of the team. they come up with a plan to help her but it only pushes her further away from them bc she isn't used to that much attention. they decide that when she's ready she'll come to them so one game night she tip toes downstairs and peaks in the living room to see them having a good time. wanda or vision senses her energy and she tries to silently sneak back but they invite her in and she reluctantly joins them. she isn't too familiar with the games they're playing so they teach her then afterwards they watch a bunch of movies and they're glad they can give her the family she never had.

Family

Summary: Sometimes it takes a while to find your true family.

Pairing: Avengers x teen!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 1116

a/n: This is not too much at all! Thank you for the request :) (I’m sorry this is terrible)

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore

Walking into an entirely new surroundings is always anxiety inducing, but it’s especially scary when the people leading you to your so called new room are the world’s mightiest heroes.

There’s two men and two women in front of her, she knows who they are, of course, but she isn’t going to bring it up. Surely they have already sensed it.

One of the men, Iron Man, or Tony, as he told her to call him, is talking constantly. His hands are moving up and down, side to side as he gestures to different rooms and what’s in them. He is walking right in front of her, creating a sort of barrier between them. Wanda on the other hand, is walking next to her, occasionally glancing down at her.

Y/N keeps her eyes on Tony’s back. She doesn’t want to look anyone in the eyes or seem too fearful by mapping out the place.

“And this here,” Tony stops walking and opens a door, “is your room.” He turns to look at her with a big grin.

Not moving, Y/N stares inside the room. The four of them keep looking at her, waiting to see her reaction, but they get none.

Tony clears her throat. “You can go in, kid.” With small steps, she goes into the room. “We know it’s a bit empty, but you just tell me whatever you need and want, and I’ll buy it.”

She doesn’t need anything. It’s not like this room will be hers for long. It’s usual for her to stay in a home for a month at best. So, it’s better to not get attached to anything or anyone.

Wanda has a frown on her face as she watches Y/N set down her tiny bag. She’s worried of the girl, but puts those feelings on the side, this is a big change after all.

“Should we leave you to settle in?” Steve speaks up when the silence starts to drag on for a long time. “Someone could come get you when dinner is ready.”

With a nod from Y/N, the four of them close the door and leave her alone with her thoughts. With no one around, she lets out a deep breath and starts inspecting the room. It’s bigger than any other room she has had, and cleaner.

It’ll definitely be harder to leave this room behind when the time eventually comes.

After two very uneventful days, Natasha and Wanda have started talking with the other Avengers how Y/N doesn’t seem to get better, even though they’re giving her plenty of space. So, they decide to try another approach.

Wanda knocks on the door with a huge smile. Some of the other team members are behind her with boxes.

Opening the door only slightly, Y/N peeks through the gap. “Hi!” Wanda waves. “We got you something, if you could open the door a bit more?” Her voice is gentle and on the quieter side.

Y/N opens the door properly. Her eyes widen when she noticed the others and all the boxes waiting there. “We bought you some furniture and decorations.” Natasha brings one of the boxes in the room. “Obviously, we don’t know for sure what you like, but I think we got some good stuff.”

She stays frozen on her spot, out of the way, staring at the others walking in and out of the room. There are so many of them at the same time. Y/N doesn’t understand what they’re doing. Is this a test?

In fear of being punish for a wrong reaction, she decides to not react at all. Her hands are shaking behind her back, but she doesn’t let them see her fear. She just stares at them with a stoic expression.

“What do you think?” Wanda asks once the things are set. “You can obviously change things around if they aren’t to your liking, but this is a good start, yeah?” When Y/N just nods mutely, Wanda’s smile falls.

A silence falls over the room. Very uncomfortable and heavy silence. “Well,” Natasha clears her throat. “We’ll let you be.”

When the door closes, Wanda and Natasha glance at each other. “That didn’t work out the way I wanted.” Wanda mumbles. “I really thought that’d help her get out of her shell.”

“Maybe we just need to let her be.”

She huffs. “I know, it’s just so difficult when I can basically hear her worries.”

“It’ll happen, lets just do it on her terms.”

A week goes by where it almost seems like Y/N pulled into her shell even more. She wouldn’t speak to anyone, or even want to physically be in the same room as someone else. One of the team members always had to go knock on her door and leave a plate of food in front of it, so she would eat.

Most of the team got back into their regular routines, though their worry stayed the same, but they couldn’t stand outside her door forever. Wanda and Natasha would talk to her through the door at times, even if the conversation was fully one sided.

Today, the Avengers decided to spend the evening playing different board games. It’s not unusual for them, as they like to do bonding activities together.

Tony knocked on Y/N’s door to ask her to join them, but only got a small head shake as an answer. However, after an hour and a half, Y/N opens the door carefully.

She sneaks towards the living room, being cautious not to make any noise. Stopping right before the room, she peaks in. All the team members are laughing and shouting together.

Y/N takes deep breaths to calm herself down, these kind of situations still make her incredibly nervous. Suddenly, Wanda turns to look at her.

Her eyes turn wide and she is just about to turn away to go back to her room’s safety, but Wanda speaks up before she can. “Hey, sweetheart. Do you want to join us?” Now some of the others turn to look at her.

With hesitance, Y/N starts walking towards them. They’re surprised by this, but try their best not to show it. “We’re playing Monopoly. You ever played it?” Tony asks as Y/N sits between Wanda and Natasha.

“No.”

“That’s alright, we’ll teach you.” Wanda smiles, putting one more pawn to the board.

Y/N stays quiet for quite some time during the game night, but when the evening goes on, she starts initiating conversation more and even leans on Wanda’s side at times.

Maybe this family is different after all, it certainly isn’t ordinary.

[cod-imagines-fanfiction]

Valeria x female SO (sfw + nsfw headcanons)

(This woman screams bisexual to me, I just had to write this - sfw and nsfw on Valeria with a female partner. My personal take on her character!)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

SFW: -Valeria is naturally a very dominant and assertive woman, her confidence borders on overzealously. It's been hard for her to maintain relationships, especially with men like Alejandro because there are two people struggling to dominate the relationship. As such, she needs someone who can handle being ordered around (in more than one way). Her energy could either be matched by someone very similar to her (ie. another strong woman), or someone totally submissive. She can enjoy a submissive man erotically, but he'll eventually annoy her and go missing. Submissive women, on the other hand, are a piece of cake. -Has a soft spot for puppy eyes, really struggles to not give in to pleas. She'll resist giving you what you want at the moment because she will *not* let a brat order her around, but she'll give in eventually. You want her to buy you something? What does she look like, a walking ATM to you? She doesn't work her ass off just for you to waste her money on silly things! But you will find whatever you wanted on your bed within the next 2-5 business days. And your next allowance will be a bit more generous. -Could definitely enjoy being a sugar mama, so long as she gets some sugar. Money is just another way to guarantee your submission and she loves to see her partner be grateful to her. -Has some abandonment issues from her past. May secretly feel the need to shower you with material things because you may not stick around if there isn't a material reward. Will need lots of affirmative words and caresses in private when she has a low mood. -Needs good morning cuddles to set the day. If they are disrupted for whatever reason, she'll be in a nasty mood for the rest of the day. -Easily touched by your devotion. Even simple moments where you might casually mention a future together, or wanting to get matching tattoos will make her emotional. -No PDA. Not because she's ashamed of your relationship, but because she doesn't really trust anyone, even the people working for her. -You'll have a whole wing to yourself at her residence. She says it's because she likes to separate her personal life from her business, but really it's because she can't stand having people around you. If she could have it her way, you'd be locked inside forever, away from the gaze of others. She often struggles with posessiveness and you'll just have to accept it if you want to be together. -Is definitely toxic; possessive, easily jealous and prone to angry outbursts. Oftentimes, only you can calm her down.

NSFW: -Valeria can be quite selfish when it comes to sex, will prioritise herself and expects to be completely satisfied every time. Her SO will receive pleasure too, of course, but only after she's had her fun. -Often uses sex to wind down, so will expect to receive on a very regular basis. -Uses toys. If she's punishing you through sex, she'll change the size of her strap-on over the course of the night to make it more challenging for her SO. It amuses her because she likes to see you struggle and writhe underneath her. -Another perk to having you in your own little space at her residence is that you can be as loud as you want. Wants you to use your words. If you don't speak Spanish, she'll order you in her native language and then punish you for not understanding her commands. -Enjoys aggravating her SO. If you're close and begging, she'll do the opposite of what you want and will laugh as you desperately fuck yourself on her for release. -Can be easily manipulated through sex. If she's in a mood where she doesn't want to give you anything, getting her off might just change her mind. Knows this is a tactic her SO uses and will purposefully deny you things just to have sex. -One time you came without permission, so she stole all your clothes as you slept. You were only allowed to wear your underwear until you apologised to her. And when you apologise, she wants it to be sincere and emotional, completely taking all the blame for her actions. Extra kisses for you if you cry while doing so.

Notes: Felt a little inspired writing that bit where the love interest has a whole wing to themselves. I might make a short story on Alejandro kidnapping Valeria's SO for intel and interrogating them with the 141, I think that'd be so juicy!

Update: Link to the short story ^ on A03 + available on my Tumblr profile

[yanderes-galore]

Could you write a concept for Loona from Helluva Boss?

Sure! Here's some thoughts about it. @okchijt helped me out :)

Yandere! Loona Concept

(FT. Platonic! Blitzø)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Possessive behavior, Violence, Blood, Manipulation, Stalking, Kidnapping, Blitzø enables her, Forced relationship/companionship.

Loona is a hard one to read due to her personality.

She's very dismissive and anti-social.

For a major part of her obsession she'll probably be distant.

She doesn't seem interested in anything, she has very brief interactions with people.

The only people she seems to like are Blitzø, Vortex, and maybe Octavia.

Even when friends with her obsession she may appear like she doesn't want to be there...

But over time she would enjoy your presence.

Loona would be the most compatible with Hellhound obsession.

She'd also most likely meet them at Beelzebub's party or perhaps they even work at I.M.P.

She isn't very intense with her obsession for the most part.

If her crush isn't immediate, she's rather tame.

She may struggle with social situations or brush her obsession off at first.

But the Hellhound does eventually begin to like you.

For example, she does care for Blitzø even if she brushes him off at times.

Working alongside you or chatting with you enough (no doubt through text due to how often she's on her phone) might make her care for her obsession more.

Due to being a Hellhound, I can also see Loona eventually being possessive or easily jealous once she's attached.

Her obsession is slow to show itself, but it happens eventually.

Loona would start by trying to be friends with you, showing care and listening to your problems at times.

Despite her dismissive attitude, she no doubt cares for her obsession if they manage to get under her thick shell.

Loona would take a long time to show any sort of vulnerability with you, but if she does it's in private.

Once she starts showing care to her darling, she comes off as interested and protective.

She does have care for those she likes, which can be seen when she helps I.M.P protect Blitzø from the Cherubs.

An interesting characteristic to consider with Loona is her human form, too.

Which means she could even follow you into the human world in case you have a job there.

One Loona realizes she enjoys your presence, she's not only protective but possessive.

She may also stutter or appear embarrassed around her obsession when she tries to be social with you.

She really isn't the best at this kind of thing....

Loona herself is very... tame.

She's fond of her obsession but knows to give them their space.

She tends to have protective instincts and easily picks up on your distress.

She may even follow you around due to such instincts.

Anything that would make her intense is actually due to her being... helped.

While Loona is accepting of giving you space, tolerating you around others, and just suffocating her instincts enough to be protective more than possessive...

You can bet Blitzø steps in.

Blitzø no doubt notices how Loona acts with you.

Even more so if you're another Hellhound.

Blitzø loves his adopted daughter more than most things.

He notices the way her tail aways when you're near, or the way her eyes dilate when you pay attention to her.

He can just tell she's shy towards you.

Imagine if Blitzø tries to play matchmaker?

He playfully teases Loona while also encouraging you to be closer.

He won't mind you two together... as long as you don't break her heart.

Loona often brushes the imp off, telling her dad to lay off while profusely texting apologies to you for his behavior.

She doesn't want Blitzø embarrassing her.

Honestly she'd rather die than go through that.

However, Blitzø would probably be the one to encourage Loona during her obsession.

He already acts like you're part of his family, always casual with you and bringing up Loona.

It's like he's using subtle manipulation to get you two together.

He says you two would be perfect, all while Loona is wishing he would piss off.

Although, there's some things she's thankful for.

For example, Blitzø keeps a careful eye on you when Loona can't.

While Loona is fully capable of protecting you, having Blitzø help is a game changer.

Blitzø would probably already talk about where you'd stay if Loona brought you to his apartment.

He lays down ground rules if Loona has you over, being the overprotective dad with her.

All while Loona feels this is a bit too fast...

But thinking of you... she isn't entirely against it.

Blitzø coos over Loona being around you.

His little girl... getting a partner of her own....

Luckily Loona spares you from him at times, often keeping you away from him.

Although... I imagine you'd end up at the apartment in some way near the peak of Loona's obsession.

Loona gets downright feral at the idea of you being hurt.

Biting, scratching, spilling blood...

It's nothing new for a Hellhound, especially an assassin.

Blitzø may try to say to Loona that her possessive instincts are normal.

She likes you, right?

Perhaps even more than that?

Then why not be a bit more... up-front with courting.

Honestly, if Loona allowed it, any "kidnapping" or isolation would be due to Blitzø helping Loona.

The two, mostly Blitzø, would manipulate you into the position.

Blitzø is already considering you his kid-in-law.

Meanwhile Loona is trying to calm you down, telling you she won't rush you....

Her dad's just... excited.

Yet she doesn't prevent things, either.

She tries to make you feel at home, she tries to show she cares.

She struggles with being affectionate but learns over time.

When you're eventually "moved in" to the apartment, you most likely rest in Loona's room.

You're given some freedom, as long as either Loona or Blitzø is watching you roam.

Blitzø is cautious you don't leave the apartment once you're in it.

He doesn't want you hurting Loona, often rambling with pride that his family is growing.

If you did try to escape, Blitzø may suggest cuffing you to Loona.

At the apartment you're cuffed to some furniture.

At the I.M.P HQ you're kept cuffed in a backroom.

Loona may be awkward as she isn't the most intense yandere herself.

She's apologetic for everything, all while Blitzø is praising her and trying to encourage her obsession to do the same.

Loona may feel guilty for the life her obsession now has to endure.

When you two are one on one, she tries to encourage you in your new life.

She knows she shouldn't do this... that you should be set free... but...

She... doesn't want you to leave now, actually–

Admittedly... She likes keeping you at the apartment.

She likes "dating" you.

She likes working with you.

Her father just wants to help...

For once she'll take this gift.

[daengtokki]

Hey 👋🏻 saw your recent post about wanting to write about seungmin fluff, and I honestly could use some fluff to feel better myself so I wanted to suggest a noona!reader x seungmin fluff where they both like each other (are close friends) but reader thinks they only see her as a sister and not romantically (and vice versa) until the other members convince seungmin to confess and well the rest is up to you really :) personally I feel that he’s the type to sing to their crush or maybe bring them a cute plushie, inviting them on a coffee date, etc

Whether or not you choose to write this, I hope you feel better~ ❤️‍🩹

𝓌𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝐼 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹

©ˢᶜᵃʳˡᵉᵗᵇˡᵒˢˢᵒᵐ

────────────────────✦

Kim Seungmin/noona!reader

wc: ~5k

rating: flufffff -`♡´- (friends to lovers/idiots to lovers ( thank you @wulfgaang ) Felix and IN plotting, music for you to listen to while you read)

comments: I'm sorry this took so long anon! I started writing and just kept on writing and I couldn't stop so I eventually had to force myself to stop. I tried to edit a little but uuuhhh bshxbhscs

──────────────♡───♡─✦

He's so bad at writing a text to you that doesn't sound...off. He hates sounding too casual, which is exactly how he should be sounding, and how you expect him to sound. But he hates it. He huffs and slides down into the couch, eyes flit up every so often to the open space in front of him.

Seungmin catches sight of himself in the mirror across the room, then he sees Felix eyeballing him. And then Felix smiles.

"What?" He pulls himself up and folds his knees to his chest, looks down at the message thread on his screen...rereads your last text.

I like your hair the shade it is right now

It's nothing. It's a benign little observation on your part, but his stomach swirled the moment he read it. Now he can't think of what to say back. His thumbs freeze right above the screen, and his eyes go blurry as he stares.

Seungmin doesn't have time to reply, though, because he sees you typing again. The little dots bounce around for what seems like forever, and then they stop. Felix moves closer and sits down next to him. Then you're typing again. Typing and typing...

"Are you talking to your noona?" he whispers and tries to peek at his phone, but Seungmin pulls away.

"She's not my noona."

"Well, she never texts me. What are you guys talking about?"

"Nothing..."

"Exactly! You two always seem to talk about nothing...every day."

Finally, a message comes through. And it's not nearly as long as the length of time it took to type.

are you free for lunch today? Probably not, but I'm cold and want to get some yukgaejang

No, he's not exactly free, but he's going to make himself free. Seungmin hasn't had the chance to see you face to face for almost a month. Yes, almost a month. Three weeks and three days, actually. And you were only in the building for a few hours that day, because you travel too much for work. Seungmin hates that. And he hates wishing you had a position that didn't travel at all. It's always in the opposite direction that he's going.

"I'm breaking our lunch plans." Seungmin says it so flatly and definitively.

"Fine. Only because I know you're making plans with her. Maybe ask her out properly this time, before she leaves again."

"I'm not going to ask her anything... she'll laugh at me."

Felix has no reply for that, but the stinkface he gives Seungmin says everything for him.

♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

You stare at yourself in the mirror for far too long. The way you think you look won't change, and the way you're dressed isn't going to magically make him fall in love with you. Besides, it's cold out, and he'll pick on you if you dress more for looks than warmth.

His text message comes through, finally. You feel bad asking him, because you know he's busy, but he loves to eat and it always seems to be the best way to get him alone.

I just have to change, I'll be ready when you get here

And it's stupid, but you like driving him around; the way he plays with the music, and the way he sits back in the passenger seat and stares right at you. He always let's you know when you pass a dog going on a walk, and he loves to tell you that you drive too fast. Or too slow.

There was hardly any traffic on the way in, so you sit and stare at your phone for several minutes before texting again. You're certain he's ready—it doesn't take long to throw on a pair of sweatpants and run out the door, but getting here too fast and seeming too eager makes you feel silly. You rub at your warm cheeks and sigh, wondering if you're mentally prepared to see him again, need to kiss him, do nothing, say nothing, and then part ways for another few weeks.

A soft knock on the window makes you jump, and when you look to your right, he's there, smiling and waving.

"Sorry, I was just about to text."

Seungmin climbs in and stares at you for a moment. "I saw you pull up, are you okay?"

"I'm okay..."

"You looked worried."

He's too observant. and he's clever as hell (sometimes). You're surprised he hasn't figured you out yet, but...he's probably just avoiding it if he does know. He doesn't want you to feel awkward. Seungmin is too young for you, you think. You have no business feeling this way about someone a decade your junior, and he's not going to be interested when he's surrounded by so many pretty girls his age.

"You still look worried." He buckles his seatbelt and adjusts himself so he can look directly at you.

"Uh...just jetlag probably. And I haven't eaten yet."

"We better hurry then."

You look him over quickly as you shift gears and check the gps on your screen. He's not in his usual overly comfortable sweats, instead he's wearing cargo pants, and just a t-shirt under his North Face jacket. You hope he's warm enough, but when he reaches forward and bumps up the heat, you know he probably isn't.

♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"It's gonna be too spicy," he smiles and watches you take a bite. A cautious bite, because he's right, but you won't admit it. You like the spice, and he likes watching your face turn red as you slowly make your way through the bowl.

His chopsticks dive into it and grab a much bigger bite than yours.

"Get your own," you shoo him away and sip your tea, trying not to be too obvious that your whole body is on fire. With the spice, and with thoughts of him. His lips are red and swollen from the little bit of heat in his food, from the heel of his hand rubbing at them. This is about the time when your thoughts get overwhelming...so overwhelming, you think you could confess everything all in one breath—his big dewy eyes, flushed cheeks (both from the food, of course), big t-shirt hanging way too precariously from his shoulder.

"Too spicy," he chases it with his rice and scrunches up his face, "How can you eat so much of it?"

"Punishment."

"Punishment??" Seungmin looks at the text on his phone. It's not Felix this time. Felix has already sent several, asking him if he's made it official yet. This time it's Jeongin, no doubt out to lunch with him, acting up as well.

did you dress nice for her?

"Why would you need to be punished?" Seungmin blushes as soon as the words come out of his mouth. It's not just the soup making him so warm. He glances up at you and tries not to smile too awkwardly.

"Where should I begin...being lazy, breaking plans with friends, ghosting bad dates instead of telling them I'm not interested."

"Do you go on a lot of bad dates?" He sits up and clears his throat, "I mean...dates. You never mentioned that before."

His phones buzzes again. This time it's Felix.

simp

A quick glance around the restaurant reveals he and Jeongin are not actually there and listening in on them, but he wouldn't be surprised.

"I wouldn't say a lot. Uh...I'm always very careful, don't worry."

Seungmin nods and struggles to keep his face neutral. He's not concerned, he's jealous. "You're not lazy, you work very hard."

"Just too much. Sometimes I want to change jobs, stay home more. Use my apartment."

"You should," he replies so fast that you stop eating and look at him.

"I should?"

"If that's what you want, uhm...you should always do what feels right." He busies his mouth with his drink, taking slow sips and peeking at you over the rim. "I'm glad we work at the same company, though, otherwise I would have never met you." He wonders if that was too much, so he stares stupidly at the chopsticks in his hand.

"No, we probably wouldn't have met. And you're a—"

He looks up at you before you finish.

"Uh..." you should say it, you should say anything as long as it's a little bit romantic. There are so many things you've thought of already, and you have said them in your head...during your endless daydreams. When you're trying to sleep and can't, or when you open your eyes in the morning and pretend he's there in front of you, sleeping soundly.

"...you're a good friend, Seungmin."

Idiot.

♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Another outing with Seungmin, and another tick on your failure box. You felt awkward, and you probably made him feel awkward. You can’t relax around him anymore. Maybe he does really know that you like him, and he just doesn't want to ghost you the way you ghost your dates. He's too good and sweet to do that, and he's too good for you.

A little part of you wants to text one of the others; one of his dormmates, his closest friends, just to see if asking him out would be a horrible mistake. But you can't. If the answer yes, it's a mistake, and then they tell him? They would absolutely tell him. You might as well mess this up on your own.

♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"That's what you wore?" Jeongin looks at him, eyes narrow, lips pursed.

He and Felix make it home first, and they both look at him anxiously when he walks through the door. Well, Jeongin looks at him anxiously, and then tsks at the casualness of his outfit.

"It's less casual than normal."

"It's not going to convince her that you'll go all out for her, though. You gotta give her your best!"

"I don't think my outfit is going to make her suddenly fall in love with me."

"No, but if you tell her how you feel..."

"I'm not ruining what little friendship we have."

"But—"

"No."

"Kim Seungmin!" Felix yells. "If you don't talk to her like a big boy, I'll be forced to tell her myself."

"You wouldn't...please don't say anything, Yongbok. Please..."

"She likes you...maybe even more than you like her."

"How would you even know that, has she told you herself?" Seungmin finally pulls his jacket off, kicks off his shoes, and sulks to the kitchen for a drink.

"No, but I've had to sit through more than one meal with you two... dancing around each other, blushing if you end up sitting shoulder to shoulder, her sneaking little glances when you're not looking."

"She does?" he sips his milk in an attempt to get the lingering spice out of his mouth. "She looks at me?"

"Stares at you. Watches every little move you make. It's annoying, and very cute. I wish someone would look at me like that.”

"Sing her a song!" Jeongin pipes up from behind his monitor. "Invite her to dance practice, keep her around after everyone leaves...sing for her."

"That is..." Felix thinks. Seungmin rolls his eyes and groans loudly in the background. "...very cheesy, but I don't think it's a terrible idea."

"Sunday! I'll even invite her to come watch, you just have to do the rest." Jeongin is very proud of himself for thinking all of this up. "I know her, too...remember? I'll make sure she's in town, and you figure out what song you want to woo her with.”

Seungmin hates the idea. He’s already starting to get nervous eating in front of her. Now he has to practice? And sing? Sing something romantic? The logistics of all of this are escaping him, too. How will they be left alone there? If someone sees them—him singing, her standing awkwardly until he finishes. He already wants to climb into a hole just thinking about it.

“Close to You!” Jeongin cups his cheeks in his hands and smiles. “She blooms beautifully in your dreams, when you close your eyeesss,” he sways back and forth.

“No, no I’m not doing it. And you can’t make me.”

“We can’t, but we can still invite her to come on Sunday. Tell her we have some new stuff to work on, she’ll enjoy it.”

♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

You can’t say no to Jeongin, ever. He was so excited to invite you to dance practice, and you’ll actually be home, so…why not. No pressure. It’s getting to see Seungmin from a distance, or maybe not from a distance. And you love watching them act up together. Seungmin invited you once, a while ago, but you couldn’t make it, and for some reason he never asked again.

But seeing him twice in the same week is a nice treat. You just hope he’s glad to see you there.

-

Han sees you and greets you first. Then you see Changbin and Felix by a snack table, bickering about something. Felix sees you out of the corner of his eye, waves, and smirks a little. He mouths something to you, and you think he says you look nice…so you just smile back. You did put in some extra effort this morning, but you still tried to be casual. Seungmin likes casual, and he told you once, a long time ago, that he liked your style.

One of the entranceways seem like the perfect place to observe for now. Nobody is here, and you’re a little nervous about being in anyone’s way. You lean back against the wall, making yourself as small as possible, and look for Jeongin. But he’s nowhere.

Seungmin, though, is within view. His back is to you, and he’s way on the other side of the room, but you know it’s him—you would know his back and shoulders just by touch if it came to that. And you really wish it would come to that. The rest of him is swimming in a pair of dark gray sweatpants.

You hold your breath and wait for him to turn.

“Noona! Hi hi.” You jump out of your skin. It’s Jeongin.

“Innie!” You punch his shoulder, and he laughs. “Quit sneaking.”

“I wasn’t sneaking, you were just too busy staring.” He looks to Seungmin, who is now turned your way. And walking in your direction.

“Staring at what?,” you say as you continue to stare. He gets closer and closer. You can feel the distance closing between you. It’s getting warmer in the room.

“So it is true…Felix is right.”

“Huh? What is Felix right about?”

"Is Innie bothering you?" Seungmin says. He doesn’t look at you, though, just at Jeongin.

“Hmmm…I think I’m being called.”

“I didn’t hear anything,” Seungmin looks behind him, behind you, and then back to Jeongin. “Better go, though.”

He looks irritated when you’re finally able to lift your gaze, but not really irritated—just like he’s holding back an eye roll. Seungmin folds his arms and hugs his hoodie to his chest, and then he finally…finally, looks at you. His face softens. You could melt, but you try to keep your composure.

This wasn’t always an issue. Seungmin always makes you feel warm and stupid when he’s around, and he has since the day you met him, but it used to be easier to be relaxed around him. And fun. You figured this would pass and you’d realize you were just crushing on him; lusting after him—daydreaming about kissing him and his braces, undressing him slowly in your mind and wondering exactly what he looked like under all of those clothes. But it never passed. It grew and grew into this monster that sits on your chest and takes your breath away.

“YN?” He crouches down so he can get your attention. “Noona?” He whispers. Seungmin doesn’t usually call you Noona, not like everyone else does. He calls you by your name, because you asked him to. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t like that…just needed to snap you out of your daydream.”

“I wasn’t…hmm, I’m sorry. Hi Seungmin.”

“Hi,” his face falls a little. “Are you staying, or just passing through?”

“I’m staying.“

“Good. It’s chilly in here, I thought you might want this.” He hugs his hoodie closer to his chest and smiles. "Gotta keep the heat down so we don’t pass out, I guess.”

“Will you be mad if I take it home and forget to give it back?”

His giggle makes your head swim. “No, not at all. Actually…”

Before he can finish, Chan calls out and the floor starts to clear. He looks back, and then to you again. “Hold that thought,” he unrolls it, shakes it, and throws it around you like a cape before running off.

The scent of him overwhelms you, and your head is swimming again. Everything is swimming. Now you just want to curl up in your bed with it and fall asleep.

-

For the first time in years, Seungmin is nervous standing on the dance floor. He knows he’ll be fine—everything will fall into place once things get started. But if what Felix said is true, your eyes are on him, and only him. All the time. But you must be good at doing it only when Seungmin isn't looking. He has never once caught you staring.

He glances around the room, swings his arms, rolls his shoulders. You’re there in the same spot, his hoodie still draped around you. And yes, you’re watching him.

-

The time goes by fast, even though you’re just a spectator, and you know it’s because you might not see him again for a while once this ends. You’ll go back to your casual texts, hopefully a little each day. You’d lose your mind if you had to go longer than that without hearing from him.

The more you think about it, the more you think getting the confession over with might be the best idea. You can’t exactly go on like this forever. The rejection will crush you, but with time, you’ll have to move on. That’s just what happens. The hurt goes away, eventually.

“Hey you,” Felix pops up next you and gets your attention. “You’re staring really hard. Really really hard.”

“What?” You finally pull yourself away from Seungmin, “I was? Wait…what?”

“Seungmin is going to have a hole burnt into him if you keep that up.”

You feel flushed, even though Seungmin was right about the cold, “please tell me only you saw me.”

“Probably, everyone else seems pretty preoccupied. But be careful. Unless you plan on confessing.”

Is Felix reading your mind? You bury your face in your hand and sigh.

“Don’t look so sad. Keep looking…carefully.”

You’re an idiot. And you daydream too much. Your life is nothing but work, sleep, and a constant string of thoughts about being with him.

“Felix?” You stop him just as he starts to walk away. He smiles at you, There is usually a twinkle in his eye, but it’s even more intense right now.

“Yes, noona?”

Seungmin turns and makes eye contact, but looks away almost immediately.

“Nothing, never mind.”

“Oh hey, don’t leave too early. Innie and I have something we need to give to you after we finish up.”

♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Everyone left. But you’re sitting on the couch, curled up in a ball, warm under Seungmin’s hoodie. Felix said stay, so you’re staying, but you don’t know what he and Jeongin could possibly have for you.

You wonder if Seungmin will come back for his hoodie. Watching him walk out of the room was a little bit heartbreaking, because he didn’t say goodbye. He didn’t wave. He didn’t look your way.

-

“What am I supposed to do now? You have her waiting in there, alone, and she doesn’t know wh”

“Felix told her we had something for her, and we do.” Jeongin holds his arms up to Seungmin, palms up, like he’s presenting him. “It’s you.”

Seungmin buries his face in his hands and groans, “you still want me to go in there and sing and embarrass myself?”

“You don’t have to sing!”

“Okay, so just embarrass myself.”

Felix shakes his head, “please please pleeaaase, trust me. I’m going to scream at the top of my lungs if you don’t go sit on that couch with her right now. That’s all. Just sit there. Whatever happens after that is up to the two of you.”

“Fine. Just because I don’t want her sitting in there by herself.

-

The door clicks. You know it’s him as soon as his arm swings the door open.

“Seungmin?”

“Hi. What are you doing in here all alone?”

“Waiting…”

“Waiting for what?” He stands in front of you, hands stuffed in the pockets of his sweatpants. Light gray this time—he’s showered and changed since you’ve been sitting here.

“I’m not sure.”

“Me, maybe. I’m sorry I left before without saying anything.”

“It’s okay,” you smile. He’s here now, so it is okay.

Seungmin sits down next to you. He’s quiet, and he has no idea what to say now. Maybe he should just sing, because he would at least be able to succesfully string some words together. The silence and the echo here makes it even harder to speak, but at least he knows you’re truly alone together. This usually only happens in your car—windows up, music playing. “What’s your favorite song?”

“My favorite…Stray Kids song, or my favorite favorite?”

“Favorite favorite.”

You weren’t prepared for this, but you don’t have to think very hard. “In Your Eyes…” you look at him, wait, wonder why he wants to know, “by Peter Gabriel.” You played it in the car with him before, and it took a lot to keep from telling him everything right then and there as it played. But you didn’t. It played, uninterrupted, and both of you were silent the entire five and a half minutes.

“I remember that song.”

“You do?”

Seungmin nods and laughs, “it’s on half of your playlists. Yeah, I know it.”

“Why do you wanna know?”

Silence again. Seungmin is 100% winging this, but he does know where he’s going with it. Because he does want to sing for you.

“So I can practice it.”

You shift and look at him, his hoodie slips off of your shoulders and onto the couch. It takes several seconds of thinking, of gears starting to turn in your brain, and of your eyes jumping back and forth between his before you start to put a few pieces together.

“…and sing it for you,” Seungmin looks down at his fidgeting hands, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. You not replying immediately is stretching out like hours. How can he make this less awkward now? He can sing for you and not make it romantic, right? Just a nice gesture between good friends. Not that song, though. He wasn’t even sure you would choose a romantic song.

No, he’s in it and he’s not getting back out. “Please say something.”

“You wanna…sing for me?”

“I’m not very good at…talking about my feelings otherwise.”

“You can talk to me. You can talk to me about anything."

Seungmin leans forward and rubs at his face, and he buries it there in his hands. It’s a bad time to start losing his nerve, he’s too far in. “I can’t.” He feels the couch shift as you get closer, just close enough that your knee hits his. “It’s a lot.”

“It is a lot. I know.”

“You do?”

You want to grab him and make him look at you, but your body won’t allow it. It takes another long silence to finally get some of his attention. His cheeks are red, and his eyes are big and nervous.

“Yeah, too much to keep carrying around by myself.”

He doesn’t seem to be following you, because he still looks worried, upset. But you’re not helping—you weren’t ready for this, and you have no idea what to say. You’re bad at this kind of talk, too.

“Am I making you uncomfortable? And I messing everything up?”

“No, Minnie…I’m very comfortable sitting here with you right now. I could sit here with you all night.”

Now, finally, he turns and gives you his full attention, red faced and serious. His bottom lip is catching up, because he won’t stop biting down on it. You reach out and poke his chin, “don’t do that.”

He licks his lips and forces himself to stop, but now he’s not talking again. There’s eye contact, at least. And it’s intense…Seungmin doesn’t know how intense his stare can be. Maybe you’re supposed to finish this—he did start, and it was a pretty bold start.

“We should—”

A clatter outside makes both of you jump. Maybe you’re not as alone as you think, and in that case, you’re a little bit uncomfortable. It makes you feel better about what you were about to say.

“…we should go somewhere else to talk.”

♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

It took no convincing for him to follow you closely on the walk outside. Silent. And inside the car, cold and dark, still silence. You could talk here—you’ve shared a lot in this car already, but it doesn’t feel right. You just want to take him home, get him warm, make him comfortable.

Seungmin is nervous. You know exactly what he was trying to tell you back there on the couch, but what you don’t know is how intensely he really feels, and if he’s willing to act on it the way that you are. You don’t want to risk scaring him away, but your desire for him has already reached its boiling point. Every minute without acting on it now is killing you.

He’s huddled down deep in his coat. You finally let out a sigh of relief when he leans forward to adjust the radio, and then he turns up the heat.

“Where are we going?” His voice is small and timid, not like him at all. It’s like his little bit of confession, the emotional exertion of finally telling you he maybe wants more, kicked his ass.

“My apartment.”

“I’ve never been to your apartment before.”

“Is that okay?

He sits up, and you can see him look at you out of the corner of your eye. “Yeah, of course.”

-

It’s already warm inside. The few lights you keep on while you’re out gives the small space a comfortable glow. It’s even better with a view of him shaking out of his coat, and carefully taking off his shoes. The apartment almost feels—

“…it’s cozy in here.” He says. You watch him walk further in, just a few steps, and look around. “And quiet, and warm.” The smile on his face is reserved, “just like you.”

“Like me?”

He nods, and his smile grows a little more. “Yes, you’re quiet, usually. And you’re always warm. And I’m sure you’re very cozy, too.”

“That sounds more like you.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been called warm…but—”

“I guess you’re only like that with me.”

You can tell he’s relaxing. He laughs, smiles fully, pushes his hair away from his eyes. More importantly, he walks further into your apartment, looks around again, and then sits on the couch.

“Do you want some tea? You’re probably starving. I can order something, there are a few places close by that are fast.”

“Yes, and yes…but there’s no hurry…uhm, let’s have some tea.”

-

“It’s probably too hot, be careful.” You finally sit down next to him. Close. Closer than you were earlier, and definitely closer than you’ve ever been out to dinner, or lunch, or anywhere.

Seungmin turns toward you. His face is right there, inches from yours. His eyes and his lips, his breath. His eyes are moving between yours and jumping everywhere, like he’s taking all of you in from this distance. Part of you wants to back up, because you haven’t seen in a mirror in hours. But you can’t. He’s a magnet. You think (hope) he wants you to keep pushing forward, and that’s exactly what you do.

It’s as satisfying as you knew it would be. He’s as soft as you imagined, and as sweet. It’s a shy kiss on his part, but you kind of expected that, as well. You like it like that, because he’s taking his time. But you also need a little more, so you take over.

Your hand slides across his neck. He lets you pull him closer, and he doesn’t shy away when you open up and bite down gently on his lower lip. A soft sound escapes him and floats right down your throat, and it makes your knees shake against his.

A knock on the door interrupts right as you feel his hand graze your leg. Seungmin lets go and pulls back, just enough to open his eyes and look at you. “Thank you for getting me dinner,” he says, and he leans into you again until your lips touch.

“…Seungmin.”

“Hm?”

You don’t even know what you were going to say—if you were going to say anything at all. It just feels good saying his name out loud.

“Mm…nothing.”

“Was that okay? The kiss, I mean. I know my braces probably get in the way.”

“No, they don’t…not at all. It was very okay.”

He kisses you again, this time with more confidence. You can feel his smile grow when you grab his arm and pull it around you. And you can feel his braces brush against your lips. He notices, and jumps back.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ve waited a long time for this.” You pull him back, and set your lips on his cheek.

“How long?”

“Oh…lemme think,” you pretend to think for a moment, but you don’t need to. You remember exactly when you first saw him and wanted to kiss him. “It was October, last year.”

“That long? Why didn’t I know? It feels like everyone else knew.”

“Nobody else knew. I never told anyone, I thought it was silly, maybe a little inappropriate. You just turned twenty when we met.” You pull away now, and sigh as you fall back into the couch. It sounds even worse when you hear it out loud.

“I don’t think it’s silly. I’m old enough to know what I want.” Seungmin grabs your hand and pulls you back up to him.

“So why me?”

Seungmin thinks, “because you’re cozy and warm,” he smiles, “and you make me laugh.”

“That’s it?”

He laughs again, and it’s so sweet and relaxed and melodic. “I’m comfortable with you, and you’re always there when I need you.”

“That’s nice to hear, considering you don’t act like you need anyone…ever.”

Seungmin goes quiet. He always puts up a strong front, because he doesn’t really know how to act any other way. He's not as cold and quiet as he appears on the outside, and he tries very hard to never come off that way to you.

“Just assume I always do.”

“Always what?”

“Always need you.”

[stevesbipanic]

@steddiemas Day 26: Fake Dating

Steve was ready for Hawkins to open up again and for the Upside Down to swallow him whole. Christmas was meant to be fun, well at least it was supposed to be fun now that he spent it with the Buckley's. Right now though he was glaring at his boyfriend and best friend across the table. Or wait not his boyfriend this evening, no tonight, Eddie was Robin's boyfriend.

Steve could only blame himself he supposed, one for loving the two idiots that were currently badly suppressing giggles and two because it was all because of what he'd said last week.

One week earlier...

"Robin, just tell your mom you're a lesbian or I'm not coming to Christmas lunch next week."

"Steve I can't do that do you want to ruin Christmas!?"

"She was already fine with me being bisexual she's not going to send you to hell, that's why we tested her with me in the first place!"

"No, I'm not ready!"

"Well I can't sit through another Christmas of your mom suggesting a Spring wedding!"

"You're my boy space friend can't we just let her live in a fantasy world where she marries into the Harrington's?"

"I don't even want to be one!"

"Could pop down to the courthouse and become a Munson, baby," Eddie supplied watching the back and forth while blatantly stealing from the candy display.

Steve gave him a deadpan look, "You need to propose to me better than that, Eds. No, Robin that's it I'm not going, I'm not being your boyfriend anymore!"

"What am I meant to do then, she'll be asking about you all day!"

"I'll do it!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Do what?" The other two asked giving him a questioning look.

"No, stop I hate when you do that twin thing it's creepy. And I'll be your boyfriend for Christmas, Birdie."

Which brought Steve to now. It had seemed like a brilliant idea, one Steve could enjoy his Christmas lunch peacefully being the golden boy of the table as Mrs Buckley dawned over him and two, no boyfriend questions. There was also the added bonus that lesbianism might seem like a better option than the town's drug dealer in the Buckley's minds. What Steve hadn't counted on, was the Buckley's loving Eddie.

"Oh, you're in a band that's so lovely, you know I played tamborine for a band back when I was your age, we thought we were going to be a big girl group."

"I hear you're working over at Thatcher's son, they're good men there you're certainly going to learn a lot."

Steve had been relegated to peeling the potatoes while Eddie was literally putting his feet up in the living room. He felt like the middle child of a family that just got a newborn baby, how dare Eddie steal his pseudo parents. What was worse was that Robin was finding this hilarious.

"Oh poor Stevie Wevie are you sad mom's not asking about how EMT school is going?"

"Yes! I had such a fun fake heart attack story she was gonna love." Steve pouted and for a moment he thought about stomping his foot in protest.

"Hey, it's ok, next year I promise I'll have told them, and Edward over there can come as your boyfriend, ok?" Robin reassured wrapping an arm around him.

Steve guessed that he could give up being the favourite this time, and it was nice seeing people be kind to Eddie, it hadn't been easy after Spring Break. It didn't stop him shooting daggers whenever Eddie and Robin decided to reassure Steve at lunch that he'd find someone nice eventually.

Steve and Eddie waved goodbye after lunch, promising to visit soon and hopped into the van.

"Have fun?"

"Oh yeah, I think Janice is already planning the Spring wedding."

"Well, I hope you enjoyed getting fawned over because we've got dinner with Wayne now, and guess who's his favourite?"

"Just because you know the difference between the Chiefs and the Packers, I'm his own blood and the minute you're there it's like I'm chopped liver!" Eddie exclaimed as they drove towards the trailer park.

Lunch had been interesting but he was very glad it was over as he laughed and slid his fingers between Eddie's between them, happy that he had his boyfriend back.

Ao3

[silly-writes]

Hi! I love your work! Can you do a Mike + alters, Scott, Alejandro (seperate) x reader where the reader has really bad sensory issues, especially with loud noises, and can have panic attacks from them? if your not okay with writing this then that’s totally fine /gen. it’s important to take care of yourself.

Contestants with reader who gets overstimulated.

Aaa thank u for this request anon! Yes i'm totally comfortable writing this kind of stuff! Thanks for being so kind about it! As an autistic person with really bad sensory issues myself I actually find it a thearputic, lol. Okay enough about me, enjoy!

Mike

dealing with a traumagenic disorder (DID) I would imagine he's honestly kind of in the same boat.

He's no stranger to panic attacks, and is pretty well versed by now in how to deal with them.

The first time it happens though he's sort of an anxious wreck, he's just nervous that trying to help might make it worse, but he doesn't want to leave your side.

He gives you lot's of words of encouragement, and helps you through breathing exercises, and gets you plenty of water.

"It's okay, breathe with me, I'm right here," he assures you gently.

If you require pressure/physical contact during your panic attacks, he's more than happy to give you that.

He gets good at catching them too, he'll always be able to identify when you're about to spiral because of too much noise or too bright lights, and he'll find a quiet secluded room so he can work through it with you.

"Sorry you have to deal with this too," you said, after a particularly bad one, you still felt dizzy, and tears still stained your face, but you had come out of it now, and felt a little guilty.

"Hey don't apologize, I don't mind. Not at all."

He's just very caring with this kind of stuff in general.

Manitoba

Maintoba is similar to Mike, and I would think he likes to carry around a backpack whenever he is fronting (you never know when you're going to run into treasure). So he always keeps noise canceling headphones and a pair of sunglasses in there just for you.

Honestly I headcanon him as the caretaker of the system, so I imagine he's used to caring for people during panic attacks.

He's very observant, probably even more so than Mike, so he's better at avoiding them all together by identifying what situations you can handle and what you can't.

He always does a little research before the two of you go out in the environment to ensure that it doesn't seem loud/bright/overstimulating.

However sometimes these things are just unavoidable, and inevitable.

He'll provide you with whatever physical comfort you require, if any at all.

Anything you need, he's there to get for you.

"Take all the time in the world treasure, I'll still be here," he said.

He's all around good at keeping you grounded, and just good at being there with you.

Svetlana

I would think Svetlana is probably the protector/gatekeeper, most of her comfort comes from her just being fiercely loyal.

She'll be there no matter what, and you take great comfort in that fact.

She's not as good with being traditionally comforting, since it's a little out of her element.

Not that she doesn't try of course, she really cares about you, and she wants that to come across.

(I would think she would panic a little and ask Manitoba and Mike for help from the inner world).

But she would absolutely stay with you, coaching you through breathing exercises, talking to try and distract you.

Eventually if you let her know what you need (be it space, a distracting, physical comfort, quiet, dark) you name it, she will get it for you.

She's much better at caring for you after the panic attack honestly, when you feel really tired and put out, disoriented and just overwhelmed.

"Svetlana's here now to melt all your worries away," she smiled at you once.

She'll almost always bring you home, or take you to a secluded room, and just hangout with you. She'll turn all the lights off and sit in silence with you so you can have basically zero sensory input for a little while.

She'll absolutely stay with you until you feel yourself again.

Mal

Okay things with Mal are a little tricky.

He's for sure a former prosecutor and after a bit of system healing, definitely prosecutor turned protector.

Don't get me wrong though, he can still be a little nasty and snarky sometimes, but he's working on getting better.

Which is why he feels sort of out of his element when he's with you when you're having a panic attack.

He's not good at being comforting, and he barely knows what to do when he has a panic attack, so the first time it happens he completely freezes up.

He might even let someone else front to help you out instead of him.

After a while he gets better at keeping up with your triggers, and while he remains pretty awful at being comforting, he's good at grounding you.

He's glad sometimes that being there is enough sometimes, he doesn't know what he'd do if it wasn't.

"Sorry I can't do more..." he said one day.

You smile at him "You being here is enough sometimes."

Scott

Scott is also somewhat of a wreck I would imagine.

Growing up fairly isolated on a farm he's understandably really rough with being intune with people's emotions, he's not really all that good at reading you. Or anyone for that matter.

The first few times, he's shocked everytime.

What could be making you feel like this? He had no idea.

He would definitely need a list of all of your triggers, you have to tell him what helps you and what doesn't outright. Scott doesn't really like playing guessing games, especially when it comes to your safety and comfort.

Clear communication becomes pretty important for the two of you in all honesty, and the two of you work at it all the time.

Eventually he gets better at serving you during panic attacks, or meltdowns, he knows what to do after a little while.

Again I would think he's really good at protecting, so I think he's super good at keeping people away when he sees you're overstimulated.

"Don't touch them!" he huffed when someone was trying to tap you to get your attention.

Overall, he's really really trying for you, and knowing that is comfort enough.

Alejandro

It's no secret that Alejandro is very intune with people, just one of his many skills.

So he can tell right away from his very first meeting you, any loud noises, bright lights, things like that just don't mix well with you.

He steers clear of them when around you, always guiding you more towards quieter, much calmer and secluded dates.

When driving he turns the music down, and makes sure that all audio input looks like its helping you and not harming you.

Plus I feel like (and this is totally me projecting btw) he would carry around stim toys for you to distract yourself with, and headphones for when things are a lot.

But again, sometimes things just happen, and try as he might to protect you, it's not always possible.

He can always tell when things are getting to be a lot for you, he's good at reading everyone but you in specific.

He's really good at covering for you, if someone is asking where you are, or needs/wants to talk to you when you need to be alone he'll keep them away from you.

He'll spend as much time as you need helping you.

"Are you feeling better mi amor?" He would ask.

"Almost-" you said, voice a little course and shaky "-sorry," you said softly.

"Don't apologize, I don't mind at all."

Alejandro can be really nurturing when he wants to be.

He might deny it, deny it to the ends of the earth but he's very good at taking care of you.

[bbanghiitomi]

| upside down

synopsis: kim minji who has lived in the same dorm for almost 3 years suddenly receives a surprising new roommate, this one — she knows will forever change her life.

— non!idol!kminji × non!idol!ill!femreader

(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿

"teacher? why are you here?" minji asks as she watches the familiar old woman in front of her doorsteps, carrying a large bag with a small smile. it hasn't been long since she saw this old woman inside her dorm she always manages to pay her visits and ask her about her well-being every now and then. ms. hwang is a teacher for the handicapped, she lives in the same building and takes care of students who are disabled — she herself is also disabled, yet she finds it in her to help other students surpass what they think is impossible.

minji isn't one of them, but she knows a few — ms. hwang have basically lived her life helping students in need, minji has witnessed it a couple of times and is proud of the old woman, often trying to offer her dinner sometimes when she comes home late at night and sometimes helping her pack up things or carry heavy stuff to another building or room.

as for minji, she's been living in the same building for almost three years, she's had different roommates who have left not for too long — she experienced the worst and the best, this place is basically her second home. her last roommate was a girl named pham hanni, she has left after choosing a different university but they are still contacting each other and will often visit each other's place. hanni was technically her best friend, this is coming from minji who has never really had that much friends growing up, she's good at socializing but the problem always lies with her lack of connection with people; often ending up with her completely losing contact with another person.

"minji! i have some good news." ms. hwang enters inside as she mumbles a small excuse, minji gives the older woman some space and closes the door as the old woman walks her way to the now empty room.

"is this about the roommate i was asking about?" minji has been living alone for 2 months, that meant she had to pay the whole dorm without sharing it with anyone and it's been hard for her wallet. minji walks around and watches as the teacher starts cleaning the room and fixing the bed.

"yes, she's gonna move in here tomorrow. you told me to assist the papers, right? and so i did, everything's already fixed and by tomorrow we'll wait for her. okay?" minji widens her eyes and then nods, standing on the door frame of the room, she leans and crosses her arms as she takes a deep breath. "that was really fast, i appreciate it ms. hwang, this is like my first time inquiring you about a roommate." minji chuckles to herself, it's true — all the time she spend living in this building, whenever she'll look for roommates, she's always the one discussing it with the person, she's also the one accomplishing the paperworks.

just this time... it's been a busy term for minji, she's always out at the university campus working on her labworks, she's also busy with helping students with their academic papers, it has become her part time job and it pays quite well — enough to suffice her needs and as well her wants.

"it's alright minji, you're always working hard and diligently, i'm pretty sure your advisory appreciates your presence and your advice. let me take care of this for you even just for once." ms. hwang says as she finishes fixing the bed, she walks around to start cleaning up the table and minji walks outside to the corridor, then walking straight to the living room slash kitchen.

she stands in the middle, minji even as she's standing in the middle of a cramped room — it still feels as if it was empty, there's a light above her, she's getting taller and taller; next thing she knows her head will eventually reach the ceiling. minji has always felt so lonely, even before she was in this dorm — there's always an empty space lingering in her mind, she could be in a sea of crowd but eventually she'll feel lonely, stranded.

the lack of communication with her family fuels this feeling inside of her too, she doesn't even remember the last time she's had a conversation with her father — and although she wants to, it's hard for her.

tomorrow, she'll welcome the new addition to her collection of roommates — guessing by the fact that ms. hwang is the one working on the requirements, minji can already tell that her new roommate isn't the same as the last ones, a person with disability — it's not a bad thing but it's new...

"minji... tomorrow, make sure to welcome her very warmly. i promise that she won't be a problem to you, i just hope you also take good care of her and give her your full support." minji watches as ms. hwang walks past her, her round eyes follow the elderly woman who walks to the door of her dorm, carrying the her things. minji opens her mouth but then closes it again, before nodding with a small smile.

"alright, i got this ms. hwang. don't worry about it."

the next day, minji comes home to see that the living room is occupied with ms. hwang and a man in his mid-40's, they were conversing as they sit on the couch. minji silently enters inside, carrying her backpack and a few papers in her hands. as she was walking past the living room, ms. hwang may have been able to feel her presence and that's when the old man looked at her too.

"oh my minji, you're finally home!" ms. hwang greets her, minji nods and smiles sheepishly.

"hi ms. hwang, good evening mister." minji bows at the pair.

the man acknowledges her presence and gives her a small nod with a smile. "good evening too ms. kim, it's nice to meet you." he says, minji looks at ms. hwang who signals her to sit down to which minji did.

"yes, nice to meet you too sir. i hope you feel comfortable here." minji says as she takes a seat and places her belongings on the small coffee table in the middle.

"it's mr. jang, i'm happy my daughter is staying at this place. it's not the biggest but it's clean and safe, the closest to the university she's studying at and the hospital. my daughter also likes it here." minji can't help but smile at the words from the man, she nods in agreement and clasps her hands together before speaking once again.

"i'm glad you feel that way, i'll make sure to keep this place the same and i'll be very responsible." minji tells the man, receiving a satisfied look from ms. hwang. "you know sir, minji is a very responsible student, she takes her job and studying seriously and keeps a good look on the dorm. i'm pretty sure she'll be very helpful with your daughter's stay here." ms. hwang says, minji looks at the woman and then to her feet, staring to grow curious about the new roommate she'll be sharing the place with.

"i'm happy to know that." mr. jang glances at his wristwatch and stands up. "y/n's sister is looking for me now, we have to go and take care of y/n's medications and for now, i'll be trusting the two of you. take care of my daughter." he says as he lives and walks out of the dorm, minji stares at thin air as she starts to think about what this man truly feels.

it's the fact he seemed nonchalant about this whole exchange, how there's no sign of sadness lingering in his voice, but it's very obvious he is in deep fatigue — the bags under his eyes, the wrinkles and the whites of his hair — he's strong, it's clear to minji how much this man cares for his daughter and how he's willing to do anything to help her.

"minji, i'll be taking my leave now. y/n already ate dinner and is staying in her room. for now, you can go ahead and take a rest. i'll come back tomorrow." ms. hwang leaves and all minji could do pull her lips into a thin line, sitting alone on the couch as emptiness starts to crawl around her.

as soon as the clock strikes 9am, "teacher!" minji opens her door to see ms. hwang coming inside the dorm, carrying her bag as she walks inside the now occupied room, it seems like y/n was calling out for her through this small telephone connected to ms. hwang's room.

"hi ms. hwang." minji greets the older woman, the older woman smiles back at her. "hi minji, i need to go inside y/n's room, it's time for her weekly exercise." she whispers before entering inside the room and closing it immediately. minji stands in the middle of the corridor, pursing her lips as she slowly nods, turning around to look at the room next to hers.

minji blinks a few times before walking to the kitchen to grab the box of cereal and notices the newly bought foods on the shelves, it's now cramped — back when she was living alone, the shelves barely had any food inside.

minji held the box of cereal in her hand and grabbed the carton of milk inside the refrigerator which is now also filled with newly bought food, dumbfounded but not unbeknownst to her, she grabbed the carton of milk and prepped her meal.

as minji's eating, the door opens and minji turns around to see ms. hwang.

"minji! can you grab the telephone and dial the number on the sticky note hanging on the corkboard?" minji stands up, her mouth filled with cereal and grabs the telephone to dial the number.

"dr. shim — y/n's weekly morning exercise: ×××-××××-×××."

minji swallows her food and looks at ms. hwang. "what do i say?" she mouths, and as her sight focuses behind ms. hwang inside your room, she spots you, sitting up on your bed as you hold your phone up.

minji feels her heart stop at the new discovery.

"tell her y/n's ready for her therapy."

minji shakes her head and nods.

the door is closed again, minji is wearing her complete outfit on her way to the university, she's still thinking about you though.

your hair, your eyes, the only things she was able to see clearly from your side view and past your door that's been restricting her from reaching out to you.

minji realizes she's got no business to peep on your situation so she takes her leave for the day and hopes her curiosity slowly dies so you can have your peace.

minji is at an empty university computer lab, her laptop sitting on the table as she taps her pen on the wooden table, looking for any corrections at the research paper her advisory have just submitted her.

"hey, you should stop trying to avoid repeating the words 'soil moisture' you need to be consistent with your terms, it's very confusing if you use different words pertaining to the same idea. it's alright to repeat those words, unless you're explaining." minji talks as she's currently in a call with her advisory, scrolling at her laptop looking for more mistakes.

"the variables are okay, i suggest you should inquire at the building of forestry and technology to add another test on your variables; how about test the accuracy of your sensor? or the level of moisture?" she adds, clicking through the pages of the paper. minji sighs before closing the file.

"i think that's all, you can ask me more questions once you revise those parts. for now, i think you should really focus on your robot — don't worry too much about the paper, you'll get it right." minji shrugs, looking out the window.

"thanks ms. kim." the student says, the call ends and minji thinks about you once again, wondering what you are probably doing right now.

minji groans and starts to feel frustrated because of her lingering curiosity about you, it doesn't help that she was able to get a peek of your face earlier, fueling her desire to be able to get close to you once again.

when minji arrives home, she sees your sister — wonyoung, exiting your room and having a small conversation with ms. hwang before leaving without saying a word to minji, minji stands near the door with a dumbfounded look on her face.

"y/n's older sister paid her a visit, isn't she so nice? she seems worried about her sister and wants to take care of her but y/n refused saying she had other things to take care of besides her." minji nods as ms. hwang gives her the details of today's anecdotes, after ms. hwang left minji continues to think about what you're doing inside your room.

are you sad?

lonely?

tired?

are you happy?

maybe you're frustrated...

what if you suddenly need help?

minji took note that she can actually hear you whenever you call for ms. hwang, she hears your voice but only when you call for teacher.

she's never heard you say anything other than that before and is becoming more curious as time goes by, week after week, until your first month of stay inside the dorm has passed minji have been used to always seeing ms. hwang more than once a week, it became a daily thing. minji will leave earlier before you even eat breakfast, she'll also come home late after you ate dinner.

"minji, i'm not here tonight and can't help y/n eat her dinner. i haven't told her about it but i'm leaving this job for you just for tonight don't worry." ms. hwang says as she gives minji a piece of paper, minji stands with the paper in her hand — looking at it then back to ms. hwang. "uhm, it's alright. your timing is perfect i'll come home early in the afternoon." minji states, taking small deep breaths, trying to compose herself.

there's some kind of rush inside of her, she doesn't understand what that might be.

"oh my god thank you so much minji, that's the instructions of how to bring y/n here at the dining table. there's the equipment for her chair, just make sure she doesn't get hurt or fall over." ms. hwang reminds minji who nods and gives her a reassuring smile. "don't worry ms. hwang, i'll take care of her. i promise i'll be gentle."

that night minji takes her earbuds off trying to scope any sound from your room, then she hears your voice again.

"teacher!" you shout.

minji stands up and walks toward the door of your room, reaching out a shaky hand to the metal doorknob and feeling its cold surface tingle her palm, she twists it and pushes the door open.

you lay on your bed, taking deep breaths. minji's eyes scans the posters on the wall, pictures of you and your sisters, your family and friends. you weren't knowledgeable about minji's presence and the girl was practically shaking.

"h— hey..." minji calls out, you turn your head meekly and see her face, your eyes squint before you blink and look away. "where's ms. hwang?" you ask minji, minji sighs and scratches her nape.

"there was an emergency and she was needed, she ordered me to help you eat dinner." minji says standing beside your bed, you sigh with a smile. "okay." you mutter.

you grew up almost like every other child — "almost" as you were unbeknownst to the growing illness inside of your body, as you grow old your muscles began to weaken, almost to the point that even walking began to be hard until your legs have completely given up.

it didn't help that your case was almost rare, every medication is double the price of a normal surgery, your therapy costs hundreds of thousands per session and even if your family could afford it you still can't help but feel bad because ever since you start to lose your ability to walk, all they can think about was your situation.

it's frustrating but you continue to keep moving forward, still holding up a positive outlook and view of the world, managing to smile because no matter how hard it gets, how painful it becomes you still have your family behind your back, always thankful you get to still see them.

it's so hard... even just raising your hands already feels like you're carrying 10 pounds of iron, your muscles have grown so weak that you're stuck having to lay on your bed all day, sit with a harness around you.

it feels like you're slowly rotting, that time where your parents wanted to have you stop studying and focus on your well-being, you feel like you've given up that's why you refused and persuaded them to take you to the dorm because you wanted to keep learning, sometimes even tutoring high school students from time to time.

"am i heavy?" you ask minji, she wanted to say yes because you're lower body and almost most of your upper body lack any movement to support your weight but minji shakes her head.

"it's alright, just enough." you usually don't get carried by ms. hwang, instead she pushes the wheelchair close to your bed and helps you move to sit on it.

but minji with her strength carries you to the wheelchair with ease, immediately putting your harness around you. as she crouches down, locking your wheelchair, you stare at her face — realizing this was your first time seeing her face up close, she's indeed beautiful.

you've heard lots of good things about her from ms. hwang, even from your father when they first met — you wouldn't deny the fact that you didn't care about minji when you first came here but seeing how nice and caring she actually is, you feel drawn to her.

"thanks." you mutter, minji feels her face flushing red and she nods. "no problem." she pushes you outside to the dining table where the dinner is already served.

minji didn't hesitate to offer you other foods, like ms. hwang does, you appreciate her sheer kindness and thoughtfulness and can see her genuineness from her eyes.

"i hope you come here inside my room again tomorrow." you tell minji as she sets you on your bed, not even caring about how heavy you were on her arms. her hands were big and rough but gentle, her black hair soft against your skin, and her eyes shines in front of yours.

you smile at her causing her to look away. "i'll try." minji whispers before leaving your room.

"teacher! my medications please!" as the door to your room opens, ms. hwang enters inside and you spot minji standing outside before the door closes and she turns away. you smile at the sight before having a conversation with ms. hwang as you take your shots.

"was everything okay yesterday?" ms. hwang asks, you look at her with a smile and an answer. "perfectly fine, minji was very gentle with me." ms. hwang sighs in relief to your answer.

minji is free once again, but she takes this time to sit on the sofa and watch tv. you're still inside your room, minji promised to try and visit you but she's not even coming inside, so you take it upon yourself to see her.

"ms. hwang, can i watch tv in the living room?" you ask her, ms. hwang nods and immediately helps you get to your wheelchair. minji turns her head to see you and ms. hwang coming out of your room, you smile at her. minji stands up as she notices ms. hwang getting your body to the couch and help to carry you, you had a hard time but you still try to wrap your arms around her neck.

"thanks minji." you whisper at her.

"minji, she wants to watch a show on the tv. kindly accompany her as i leave." ms. hwang tells minji before leaving, there's an awkward silence between the two of you, nothing but the sound of the tv keeping the surroundings alive.

and maybe minji's heartbeat too.

"u-uhm, what did you want to watch again?" minji turns to you as she speaks, holding the remote in her hand. you laugh and shake your head. "nothing in particular, whatever you like." you shrug, minji looks at the remote and goes back to the tv.

a baseball match is playing and minji's starting to lose her focus.

"you like baseball?" you ask, minji's ear tips are bright red and burning hot.

"a bit." she answers.

you smile fondly. "i only said that because i wanted to see you again." you admit.

minji looks at you with wide eyes. "what..?" she mutters.

"you promised me you'll try to visit my room but you didn't." you pout. minji laughs sheepishly. "i just didn't want to bother you while you were studying." she sits properly on the couch and looks away, clearing her throat.

your eyes soften at the sight of her face. "you won't."

minji looks at you again, feeling her heart stop every second that passes by your eyes looking at hers.

months have passed, minji starts to realize her feelings she harbors for you, each time that passes by her yearning grows deeper and her feelings start to overflow that it starts to scare her. minji doesn't understand what to do, every breath she breathes inside your room feels suffocating, her heart clenching whenever she remembers how hurt you are — she feels bad.

so bad that every night she spends alone in her room is filled with endless thoughts about your well-being, she wants to get you out of the pain you're suffering, she wants to save you but she doesn't know how. whenever she sees your pained expression is another knife on her chest, a stinging feeling close to a thorn stuck on her heart lingers — these feelings of both love and pain are too much.

from wanting to see you, minji grows her feelings until it gets hard to see your state.

she realized the severity of your illness, how there's a possibility that there might not be any cure for it.

that empty feeling inside her became occupied by your presence but it's cramped now, and her heart feels like it's about to burst.

she thinks about the words you said. "i can't fall in love when i'm like this." she wants to pull you in a tight hug, but she knows how tight it would be — it's probably harder for you than it is for her.

she's selfish, minji knows that.

she wants to think of you but it hurts.

minji remembers that night, she spent it with you, you kept asking her questions and she didn't hesitate to answer — you found out it's been long since minji was in a relationship and you've never been in one, because of your situation, relationships have been the last of your worries. although minji starts to change your mind, you couldn't help but feel like it's not right.

it's painful.

"it hurts! my legs..." you cry out as tears start to roll down your face, you can't move anything — your muscles are hurting so much, a hand pats your head and you look up to see your sister. "it's okay..." she lulls you but it's not working.

minji stands outside of your room, your door shut again but she can hear your cries, you pleading for anything to stop the pain from getting worse.

minji sobs, feeling her heart clenching tight, she breathes heavily, hand on her chest as she tries to stop it from hurting.

"oh no." minji mutters before teardrops start to fall on the floor, her head hanging low and the world felt too big for her to hold.

it's almost like she's also carrying the weight of your pain on her shoulders.

she's about to fall.

and it's going to hurt.

"i can't do this." minji mutters, splashing water on her face, the water drips down her chin, the sound of the faucet echoes on the walls of the restroom and hanni can't help but feel bad for her friend.

"you're making things hard for yourself, why are you running away like this?" hanni asks her friend, looking at the distressed girl leaning on the sink. minji peeks at her friend through the mirror and then looks away.

"i'm not running away. i'm just — avoiding my feelings, hanni we can't be together." minji's tone is harsh.

"why is that? it's literally exactly the same? you're making her whole point correct!" hanni argues, minji grits her teeth and closes her eyes before pushing herself up. "i don't think she wants me the way i do with her." minji mutters.

"if you're going to turn away from her just because of her situation then you might as well leave — that's literally what she's trying to say, no one stays for her because of what she's going through." hanni rolls her eyes, throwing her hands up.

minji walks in circles, a hand on her forehead. "i don't want her to push me away, i also don't want her to leave me. but what am i supposed to do, she thinks so low of herself and i — i love her."

hanni looks at her friend and sighs.

"minji you have to be honest with her."

lately, you've been more quiet — isolated.

minji opens the door to your room and you bring the book in your hands down.

"minji..." you mutter.

minji smiles softly before closing the door gently, she stands there trying to compose herself properly before speaking.

"does your body still hurt?" she asks, walking towards your bed. "do you have energy to talk or should i just watch over you?" she asks again.

you appreciate her kindness.

"i want to hear you talk." you tell her with a smile. minji nods and sits at a chair next to you. "i've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately, mainly about my worries for your health and college, then my advisory. i've been wanting to tackle something important and i need to hear your thoughts." minji starts, she clasps her hands together and bring it close to her lips, thinking of what to say next.

"what is it?" you ask, growing nervous.

minji sighs. "uhm, i understand and i'm completely knowledgeable about your situation. i know it's painful and it's hard, you can always tell me about it, i'll take care of you anytime you need me." minji pauses, bringing her hands to your bed. "lately, i've been really worried about you. you're so brave and strong, but when you cried i... i didn't know what to do. i've also been under a lot of stress, so it's all mixed up inside of my head but i always think about what you've told me and of course you... it helps me a lot." she continues.

you nod at her, you take a deep breath and try to bring your hand to her even if it's taking you all your energy to lift your hand, minji reaches for it and brings it down, but still holding your hand.

"y/n... i know this sounds extremely stupid but i've been meaning to say this for a long time." minji scoots closer and brings your hand to her face. "i love you, so much." she hides her face with your hand and hers. "ah, i know. i know. there's no right time for this except now, i think. i'm scared you'll leave and i won't be able to be honest about what i feel but... i hope you don't — please don't push me away." minji's hands are trembling, she's not looking up but you can see the way her lips were quivering.

you give her an apologetic look.

"i understand, you know minji you've always been so kind to me and i'm thankful i was with you the whole time. you make me feel alive, you make me feel like someone i haven't been able to be for a long time." you look down at her, eyes watching minji's hands caressed yours.

"i love you too but we can't be together. you need to find someone else who's a better fit for you. i can't love you like this." you finish before sighing.

minji grips your hand tighter.

"no, it's not like that." minji shakes her head.

"you don't get it. i love you more than that, and i'm willing to stay here no matter how long and i promise to take care of you." minji turns her head to you and you see the tears on her eyes.

you look at her but with no expression.

"i feel bad for you minji." you trail.

"why'd you have to fall for someone pathetic?"

minji stares at you and just for a bit, your eyes look empty, like that space inside of her.

"...what?" minji mutters.

"you know what i mean..." you turn your head from her, eyes darting somewhere that's not minji's presence. minji is still holding your hand and she stands up from the bed and leans closer to you. "y/n, i know but i'm being honest and you shouldn't say that about yourself—" you cut her off with a sigh, minji looks away and lets your hand go.

she takes a few steps back, fixing her clothes. "can you call ms. hwang for my medication? maybe we shouldn't talk about this for now, i don't feel good..." you tell minji and she immediately nods and leaves your room, but that was your only excuse to escape from the pressure inside your chest about to have your heart imploding.

"hope the sun isn't too hot." you hear minji speak as she pushes your wheelchair, you agreed for minji to take you to the nearest park to get you to bathe under the sunlight — it's been a while since you last felt the feeling of the sun on your skin. you hate how kind minji is, she's still really ready to do whatever for you and it doesn't matter how much you push her away.

maybe you don't understand her at all, the things she'll do for you even if you don't ask her.

you hum. "it's perfect."

your eyes scan around the area, there are not many people around but still you can feel the energy around the place, kids and their parents and stalls and pets. you relax under the sun, you tell yourself you're going to be alright.

"i wish we were always like this — " you speak, minji looks down at you and smiles, though she's still bothered by the feelings lingering inside of her, mind and heart — she's trying to stay quiet, for your sake and as well as hers, maybe it truly was for the better.

"and just like this." minji knows exactly what you mean, nodding her head and letting out a deep breath. "yeah, it's — you're right." minji answers.

but it eventually gets hard, you wish you could do something about this stupid illness, you laugh to yourself, even having a hard time turning your head. minji looks ahead and notices the sun getting too hot, she reaches for your shoulder and caresses it gently.

"let's go back." minji whispers.

you feel bad, for yourself and minji — you weren't lying at all when you told her about what you felt.

you love minji but it's hard, you don't want her to feel like she's stuck at the same place and at the same time doing the same thing, breathing and living for someone else and not for herself. you hate the idea of her leaving but you also don't want her to be hurting for you, it's so hard — so complicated.

because you know how tiring it would be, you saw it with your family you know it won't be different with minji — she has a life ahead of her, so much to do and so much to live for, why would she settle here with you?

you're just going to hold her back.

"i'm so sorry minji." you mutter, as minji was taking your harness off — minji looks up and smiles at you, it breaks her heart to see her trying her best and you know it hurts her too to see you this way.

"it's okay, you're going to be okay." minji says as she carries you and lays you down your bed.

you're still living with her, in the same cramped space, breathing the same air and feeling the same way.

but this time untold secrets stack themselves on top of each other and it grows each time you decide to close your lips again instead of saying anything.

everything has changed, upside down.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

I remember you doing something similar for other Genshin girls, but what are your headcannons for sleeping with Ayaka, Beidou, Dehya, Candace and Mona.

Not nsfw but fluff.

(Genshin Impact) Sleeping with Ayaka, Beidou, Dehya, Candace, and Mona

And just like the last post of this HC a year ago, I am dead tired writing this. We are just destined to repeat the same things, aren't we?

Ayaka fully relaxes into S/O's embrace as her head sinks into the pillow.

She absolutely wants to be the little spoon, and her heart will both melt and beat rapidly as their arms wrap around her waist.

(Ayaka) "Good night, my love."

Ayaka can't help but let out a small giggle as she makes herself comfortable.

She would have to wake up early and go back to attending her duties.

But for now? Ayaka can simply enjoy falling asleep next to S/O, the only worry in her mind of whether she would make them sleep at an awkward angle.

The futons in Inazuma are very low to the ground, and Ayaka's is no exception. However, it is a bit larger and elegantly quilted than a standard futon, giving the two plenty of space to stretch their arms in.

Not that the space is needed, given how closely they cuddle together.

(Beidou) "Finally, time to get some shut-eye. Come on, S/O! We have plenty of room for two!"

That's a lie.

The Captain's bed could only really fit Beidou, but that wouldn't stop her.

Beidou takes off her eyepatch and lets it rest on a nearby table, letting S/O rest their head on her rather large chest.

Her strong arms lock S/O into place as the ship rocks back and forth, almost cradling them to sleep.

The bed itself is comfortable enough if a bit stiff, though it is quite small for two people sharing it at once.

Beidou could rest easy, knowing that her lover was safe in her ars.

Beidou also has a tendency to snore.

(Dehya) "Oh man, I can't wait to sleep, it's been a long day...!"

Dehya stretches her arms before plopping onto the bed, scooting to the side for S/O to lay down next to her.

Depending on her mood, Dehya will hold S/O, make S/O hold her, or simply just remain close to them.

But most of all it depends on the bed. If it's a sleeping bag, she'll typically just lay close to them, but if they're inside an inn, then some sort of physical affection will take place.

She chuckes, seeing the relaxed expression on her S/O's face before closing her eyes.

The bed is quite warm thanks to Dehya's vision, making the cold nights of the desert seem negligible.

Her hair also will poke into S/O's face given how long it is.

(Candace) "Good night, S/O, rest well."

Candace will typically stay up a bit longer than S/O since she needs to keep watch.

She eventually joins them well into the night, trying to be as quiet as she can to not wake them up.

One hand gently caresses their cheek, smiling to herself knowing that her vigilance will keep them and everyone else safe.

Finally, Candace closes her eyes, arms instinctually wrapping around S/O to protect them in their dreams.

Her bed is stiff, yet inviting at the same time. Candace has no desire for anything beyond what she needs to rest, so at times it can be quite cold and rigid to sleep on.

But the moment she arrives to rest with them, both problems go away quickly.

(Mona) "Is it that time already? sigh "I need to finish writing this first, then I'll join you."

Mona usually sleeps in late due to her research or writing blocks.

However, she does truly appreciate the times she can rest with S/O by her side.

Not that she ever mentions that part to them.

With a very deep sigh, she immediately flops onto the bed, forcing S/O to hold her without uttering a word.

Her green eyes immediately shut as she falls asleep almost instantly.

Mona's bed is quite cold due to how often she isn't inside it. It sometimes also contains random books or astrology tools laying on top of their blankets, which S/O keeps finding everytime they lay down and think its clear.

It's honestly very normal with nothing noteworthy about its quality, but due to how cluttered it normally is and how much Mona works, it's the comfiest place in all of Tevyat.