#{ it’s fine on my kindle tho for some reason }

[leondxs]

using my hotspot to watch fa.llout 🥲👍

[girlreblogger]

and then there were 3 💿

don’t get mad. i’m saying what needs to be said and this the last time.

the blk yn “stereotypical” stories are self indulgent and the relationships are unfulfilling and unhealthy. yeah. 

i never mentioned fully the stereotype thing that’s associated with blk yn fics and that’s because i have never really understood what ppl meant by it. and this isn’t to be funny towards the ppl that say that abt those certain fics.

i somewhat? get what ppl mean by yn is written as a stereotype when it comes to the toxicity in fics but because these stories are written by blk women for blk women who feel comfortable with those types of behaviors, dynamics and relationships i feel it shouldn’t be seen as blk women writing themselves as stereotypes because the comfortability with that idea of relationships comes from somewhere and it’s not no stereotype. 

stereotype: 1. a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person

that word itself just projects an idea on those ppl and (not to use a buzz word but) dehumanizes them. it dilutes and dismisses the perception and character those women see themselves as and i don’t personally think that okay. 

lots of ppl are accustomed to or find comfort in certain dynamics and behaviors for so many different and very personal reasons. (whether extreme or not.) without even knowing sometimes we all do or have because we are still ppl at the end of the day. so chalking up someone’s humanness to a stereotype is unfair to me. it’s the same shit that ppl did to us back in the day and still do till this day and i find it unnecessary to do amongst ourselves.

that’s why i chose to say the relationships in those books and fics are unfulfilling. the dynamics, behaviors and all that ain’t healthy. if we being real. and that’s more than just a stereotype. i also dk what ppl mean by her being a stereotype in particular. maybe being extroverted? ion know. 

but ppl who want to write those things are going to do what they want but that doesn’t mean..

blk women don’t deserve or that it’s impossible for us to have more exposure to more fluffy and healthy dynamics in books with us as the main leads (also all blk ppl cause not just women read books obvi and want fluffy romance that’s another convo tho). it’s also important we showcase blk girls in various ways because we all are very different.

**we should keep in mind a fictional! character we call blk yn can be a ya (young adult) so mistakes and learning experiences in fics aren’t always useless. (though it seems we’ve had enough of it im just saying)

with different ways of thinking, with different styles, quirks, and personalities. right now it’s mostly coquettes, bimbos, and baddies being written almost similarly each time. and that’s perfectly fine but i think there’s something else that ppl are wanting to see but i would like to know what exactly.

do you guys want see her in different styles? talking differently? as an ambivert or a shy girl? someone who doesn’t talk much or someone who does? like what would be the opposite of the “stereotypes” you normally see?

and how can we as a community make some kind of change to see ourselves differently.

those few ppl when i said “as a community”

don’t get quiet now. 

but honestly, because of that maybe give writers prompts and requests with what you’d like to read. there are many writers who always have requests open and lots of times those asks are some of their most popular posts!

ppl started only reading or getting used to smutty and plug books cause that’s all there was, (there was an influx at the time) especially since 2020. that’s also when the blk fic community began to grow so there were more blk fics and writers than it used to be. so maybe we can try and do that with fluffy, fantasy and wtv other fics. 

**also there are some really good books on kindle for you guys to try with blk girls as the lead that might be interesting for you. here’s some of my suggestions: sunny disposition! and excuse me while i ugly cry! (these are just from the top of my head)

i personally have noticed so much about myself from reading more wholesome stories and stuff so reading other fics or books sometimes isn’t for me. it’s books i’ve read that i look back at and see how much i have grown from what i used to be into. that’s why i don’t reblog as much anymore too because i want to find more that is more personally up my alley.

so yeah let’s just try and find and create more books that are healthier. blk girls deserve love, kindness, to be treated gently not weak (or a like a child) and have sweet stories. stories and portrayals that heal us.

we can have suspense, drama, mystery, ups and downs, and even rain but i think a lot of us just want the sunshiney stuff. maybe that way we can digest the suspenseful and dramatic stories (that aren’t toxic) in a better way.

like i said in my last post we read and write for comfort so i think we can use this as a way to heal ourselves as well.

ps. (even some “healthy stuff” can be unhealthy lowkey but that’s another convo) 

muah

also thanks for all the likes on my previous posts! i was nervous ppl wouldn’t understand what i was trying to say but the good feedback has definitely given me confidence!

no bars

[ladytauria]

9, 10, 15, 21, and 40 for the writer's asks

- @bi-bats

thank you for asking!!

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

I do not! Sometimes I wish I did

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

For me, haunting means lingering in my thoughts, and/or popping up repeatedly when I’m thinking and/or doing other things. Pretty much every WIP I’ve ever started haunts me until I finish it or finally decide to cut it loose <3 Some haunt me more than others. (*avoids eye contact with my novel*)

Other works haunt me too, to varying degrees; sticking with me for one reason or another. I don’t have any examples atm bc I always draw a blank when asked directly about things but. They’re there xD

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

I have deep admiration of people who annotate their books… however I do not. I used to make tiny dog-ears on my favorite passages—and once I did highlight some quotes I liked. But I always felt… bad? After? So I didn’t do it again.

I am perfectly fine highlighting and taking notes on my kindle tho!

I usually shower, not take baths, and I would not trust myself not to drop the book shskdjdkjdj so I don’t do that either. It does sound very relaxing tho

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

No & no. I love writing too much—I *hate* not being able to do it.

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

Ah… I do not read nor collect enough poetry…

My favorite poem remains A Mouthful of Forevers, by Clementine von Radics

[ weird questions for writers ]

[jiareads]

— THE GRIM REAPER'S LAWYER by MEA MONIQUE . a review

rating: 1/5 mimosas

cw: spoilers, mentions of violence, alcohol abuse, childhood trauma

i have to start by saying i went in with high hopes and left understanding why shady goodreads users have a saying that goes something along the lines of 'well, this is definitely a kindle unlimited book'.

i'm not a literary snob, but the speed at which the quality nosedives is brutal. the book starts off strong—joyce’s introduction is engaging—but before i know it, i’m reading something that feels like a mcfly fanfiction i wrote when i was 14.

my biggest gripe with this book is the lack of character consistency. none of the characters are given the time or space to develop - not a single one. this is especially true for the main characters, to the point where their actions often contradict who we’re told they are. joyce is presented as a crème-de-la-crème lawyer (at 30, which is unrealistic and brings up the broader issue of sidelining older characters in romance, but that's a rant for another day). yet, throughout the story, she is childish as fuck, dumbing herself down, and makes terrible decisions with no logical reason behind them. sure, characters can be complex, but are we seriously supposed to believe this is the same lawyer who saved afterlife llc from a coup d'état?

aiden, aka mr. grim reaper, doesn’t fare much better. even by the end, he’s still giving off the vibe of those tiktok boyfriends who do mask kink asmr and overall he just doesn't have a consistent personality. how, as someone whose backstory includes dying because of a drunk driver, does he just overlook joyce’s drinking habits? that could’ve been a real moment of growth in their relationship, but instead, it’s a missed opportunity.

another issue is how the book starts situations but never bothers to finish them or make them matter. one quick example is a part in the book where joyce's case notes and documents are not only stolen by someone who breaks into her apartment but her friend also gets physically assaulted in the process. this incident happens and it ends. there is no repercussion or impact to the story even tho it should've mattered.

another example would be the veronica situation. joyce doesn’t hang up after a call, and veronica ends up overhearing joyce and aiden taking a first class flight to poundtown. there’s no way you can convince me joyce - a supposedly headstrong, independent, mind-your-business woman - would be totally fine with some rando overhearing her and aiden having sex, much less joke about it multiple times afterward. it just doesn’t add up with who we’re supposed to believe she is.

one of my biggest pet peeves with this book is that it tells more than it shows. there's way too much emphasis on how joyce is attracted to or horny for aiden—pages that could’ve been used to develop literally anything else. instead, we get endless descriptions of how joyce dresses and how her outfits flatter her body (huge flashbacks to my fanfic days—if this book had links, there would definitely be one to a polyvore outfit collage). and we’re constantly told how smart joyce is and how everyone is in awe of her intelligence, but her actions rarely reflect that.

the friendships don’t feel sincere, the villain’s motives are laughable, and even the central romance doesn’t really romance.

i pushed through to the end because i have a habit of sticking with things that don’t do me any good (yes, i have a therapist), but i can’t recommend this. it was a painful read.

[flyingcookierambles]

ideas that are impossible but hey i thought of them

continuation of my previous a3! post/wishful thinking regarding the best case scenario of a3! en continuing

not my idea but someone mentioned having a subscription type payment added to the game where subbed players get extra items and cards in exchange for guaranteeing the localization team income for the month. i don’t have anything against this, its a fine idea, in fact Obey Me! does it already and players get bonus items and access to the animated shorts on DevilTube.

my ideas tho are more of kickstarters that help fund the localization team. essentially we pay for ebooks. they don’t even have to have narration like “He moved to the kitchen and said...,” it could literally be very rough and like stage scripts ie:

                                        SCENE: Mankai Kitchen

JUZA: You made cake? Can I have a slice?

OMI: Sure, cut yourself a slice!

that’s it.

the amount of Acts translated can be split into something like Main Story Act 1 - 4 as a “bundle”/main goal, with getting all the Event stories, mini-chats, and Backstage stories as extra unlockable tiers. We don’t have to worry anymore about ranking of Event grinding or RNGsus giving us the correct SSR cards, we all get all the stories at the same time, we just have to actually pay money because these will just be regular books at this point. also, since there are no more rolls/banners for new cards, just letting everyone access the stories is fair i think.

in terms of distribution, while seeing that character’s emoting faces is great, i think that ebooks/the scripts being somewhere more accessible to the public like kindle or kobo or ibooks or whatever is better for archival purposes. having the app update just once or twice a year with more story content and all would be nice, but speaking from experience as a person who has already lost an online gacha game, having things tied to the app and the servers wouldn’t be good if CYBIRD/LIBER decides to finally really just pull the plug. for nostalgia reasons and since it barely takes any space at all, i still have terra battle of all things on my ipad. however, when i open the app it gives me a “can’t connect to servers” error message because the server’s plug got pulled, and i have to go to the wiki if i want to actually read the stories. so, having the ability to buy the translations as regular ebooks and having the ability to have it on your computer offline / having a personal copy forever is better than nothing/having to rely on the app constantly, even if we lose the “visual” part of the “visual novel” and just have a “novel.”

kickstarters could be held once or twice a year depending on the amount of the Acts/Main and Event stories that get grouped into a “bundle”/untranslated content is in the japanese a3!

again, i doubt that this will happen given how strict and weird japanese companies are sometimes, but it’s the best case scenario where we could still get updated translations from the official localization team where we bait LIBER with some money and also give the localization team some extra income bc i do follow a lot of official anime/video game translators on twt and half the time they’re contracted freelancers who get underpaid for the amount of work they do and i’d gladly give them some extra money.

extra:

that time that anime fans crowdfunded a kickstarter to get an osamu tezuka manga translated into english

that time that the Time of EVE sci-fi anime movie got kickstarted to be translated

that time that Nozomi Entertainment crowdfunded a translation and dub for ARIA

Operation Rainfall (god i feel old this was a thing when i was in middle school lol) (really tho if yall can try to play a rom of The Last Story or listen to music from it, it was fun i miss it but only because my wii broke and idk where in my house my wiiu is otherwise i’d play it again but dolphin is a pain to set up idk how lol) (i miss terra battle...) (can’t believe im planning to give money to apple arcade to play fantasian) (sorry for this rant lol but i guess ive been a mistwalker stan since middle school without really realizing it)

Welp that’s it, that’s all i got. basically our issues with A3! en’s servers were money related and it seems like the only way to try and continue something, even if it is a little pricey and takes some time, is to give money upfront and treat anything farther like a regular ebook that you would purchase.

also, quite unlikely altho 2020 was a bad year for LIBER’s jpn revenue due to cancelled events and such, if they ever do complete the story and shut the jpn servers down as well, i do hope that LIBER treats the jpn fans right and give them the story in some form as well, whether that be putting all the story on their website, keeping the app up, or literally just compiling everything into physical or digital books that you can buy and keep forever rather than just having the app disappear for good.

also, in a way, A3! eng fans aren’t alone in a server halt. the Taiwanese servers got shut down earlier this year it seems and many Taiwanese players have to migrate to the mainland China servers....

i’ll make an epic handshake meme of this soon. edit: ayyyy get your shitty handshake i made in like 5 minutes

[brianandthemays]

Love is a Polaroid (Roger Taylor x reader) Part 16

A/N Eh this isn’t my fav chapter in the world 

THanks to @sweet-ladyy for being amazing in general. I adore you. also thanks for helping make this chapter suck less

please send an ask, leave a comment, reblog let me know!

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Manipulation, angst, some cute shit tho

Masterlist

______________________________

The whole ride home you were thinking about your interaction with Roger. The way his fingers wrapped around your wrist sending shocks up your arm. Five years later and he could still make your heart flutter. But the image you couldn’t get out of your head was his face buried in another girl’s pussy.  

You couldn’t be mad at him, you had moved on as well, but something about it made your stomach sick. The entire night was a blur but for some reason, you remembered that vividly in your mind. Like a brand permanently there. Your fingers started to tighten on the wheel as you thought about it now. Richard had told you later that it was Roger’s new girlfriend, someone he’d been seeing a while apparently. And that was great for him and you didn’t care; but when she wasn’t perched on his knee today, you couldn’t help but be relieved. 

You pulled into your driveway, taking a breath before getting out of the car. You were late, and you knew Richard would be upset but you really just wanted to go to bed. Hopefully, he would understand that.  

Richard was someone you’d met when you moved into the city. He worked for a small paper company as some sort of manager and worked from 9 to 5. He helped you settle into the city, find an apartment and a job and took you out to coffee. He could be a little demanding at times but he was sweet and cared a lot about you, so you put up with it. He was there for you in a weak part of your life. You were alone and scared in an unknown city. When you broke up with Roger you didn’t just lose him, you lost Fred, and Brian, and John. Your sister had moved up to Edinburgh and was completely out of reach. 

Richard picked you up off your feet. You owed him a lot and you were glad to do a little housework if it meant he was happy.  

You walked up to the door, opening it with a sigh as you stepped inside.  

               “Richard?” you called into the house. “I’m home.” 

               “Babe!” He poked his head out from the kitchen door. “You’re late!” 

You gave him a weak smile. “Work was a lot.”  

He hummed sympathetically, nodding his head. “So was mine. Let me tell you some of these salesmen I work with really don’t know what they’re doing.” You opened your mouth to say something, but he continued over you. “They just don’t have any respect for authority and no matter what I do they just continue to waste company time.” He shook his head then sighed looking at you. “I was really looking forward to coming home to some dinner and my beautiful girlfriend.” 

You felt guilt make its way across your body, settling like a ball in your stomach. You looked down at your feet. “I’m really sorry, Richard. Roger was just talking to me.”  

He scoffed. “Roger? Why are you still even talking to him?”  

               “Well, I do work for him and just because we used to date doesn’t mean we can’t be friends,” you reasoned, furrowing your eyebrows. 

               “I really don’t trust him. I think he’ll try and make a move on you,” he replied firmly. “And you’re my girl. I don’t want you hanging around with him too much.” 

               “But--” 

               “You’re really going to fight me on this? You come home late, dinner’s not ready, and now you're going to try and reason why you should be able to see your ex?” he snapped, his fist turning into a ball on the counter. You took a step backward, biting your lip, and turning your eyes downward. He sighed, relaxing his hand. He walked around the counter to you, placing his hands on your shoulders. “I shouldn’t have snapped like that. But I just care about you. Don’t you love me?” 

You nodded, continuing to look down at the ground.   

               “Then let me take care of you. Where would you be without me? Hm?” He hooked his finger around your chin and brought it up to face him. You shrugged. “Nowhere. But I am here. And we’re lucky for that.”  He moved his hand to cup your face and you leaned into it. “I love you. Always remember that I love you.”  

               “I’m sorry, Richard,” you murmured, closing your eyes.  

               “I forgive you, darling.” He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer into his chest. You relished in the warmth he provided. He didn’t smell like Roger. Roger smelt like crisp paper and rain. Roger smelt like warmth and cologne. That cologne he used to wear because he knew you liked it. But that was then, and this was now. “Now are you ready for bed?” 

               “Yes, please!” you giggled, looking up at him. He leaned down a pressed a kiss to your lips. He really did care about you. He always looked out for your best interest, even if you didn’t understand his reasoning. And he had done a lot for you. So, you sighed into the kiss. Smiling as you pulled away.

               “Go on to bed, I’ll be there soon,” he told you, turning you in the direction of your bed. He tapped your behind as you started off, chuckling as you walked away from him.

You made your way into your bed, changing into a baggy shirt and some loose-fitting shorts. You crawled into the sheets, inhaling deeply in the pillow. You turned your head glancing over at the book on your bedside table. The same book that had been there forever. You sat up, leaning your back against the headboard, reaching over to turn on the lamp.

You picked up the book, running a hand over the cover. Then you opened the cover and there was the polaroid. The picture of your Roger. Not this new Roger with bright blonde hair, and charismatic smile. Your Roger with the dirty blonde hair and soft face. Though still with the charismatic smile.

It might be foolish to ponder on days past, but when your wishing for a life you used had one tends to linger. Trying harder and harder to pretend that every relationship was as passionate or true as this one. That the one you currently had, had the same light around it. But the polaroids don’t come out the same anymore but you choose to ignore that. 

You heard Richard start to approach so you quickly turned out the lamp and placed the book back on the table. Laying on your side you waited for Richard to join you. And he did. Like he did every night. And he read to you like every night. And you talked about life like you did every night. And then you fell asleep together like you did every night. And though you tried not to, your mind continually wandered to where Roger was and what Roger was doing. Wondering if he was thinking about you too. And you didn’t know it. But he was.

 Rogers POV

 Seeing her again was like putting kindling in a fire. Things hadn’t ended on the best of terms between the two of them. He was so angry with her for a long time. As he drove away from her house that night he hated her and all that they had been through. But eventually, that hate turned into grief. And he realized that he was mad at her, but he could never really hate her.

So, instead, he shoved her out of his mind. Pushing her into the darkest corner where he would never find her. Or so he thought. He moved on. Going on tour and returning to his old ways. Girls threw themselves at him and he let them. He’d choose one every night and wake up the next morning feeling empty and hurt. Just like before he met her.

She was always different. She talked to him differently, smiled at him differently, kissed him differently. She treated him more like a person than a conquest. But months turned into years and he never heard a word from her. Never saw her or knew where she was. And years turned into half a decade.

He was drunk but not that drunk when he saw her again. And when he did, he almost didn’t believe it was her. One second, he’d been pleasuring some chick at a party then it was her. And from that deep, dark corner of his mind came out everything he had felt about her. The anger, the grief, the love. All of it came flooding back. But she was plastered; he found her downing shots in the kitchen.

But she was beautiful. Even more so than when they were in college. He knew Freddie had gotten her hired to work for them, but he wasn’t sure what to expect. But there she was. Her make up done perfectly but he could see past that to how she had changed. The only thing that concerned him was her eyes, they looked… sad. He couldn’t put a finger on exactly why, but they were sad. He knew he should have gotten her to stop drinking sooner, but by then it was too late. Then her boyfriend showed up.

Richard was someone Roger automatically disliked. He had a condescending tone to him and he had a weird look to him. Something about him set Roger off and seeing him so close to her made his blood boil. He had no claim to her, he lost that a long time ago, but the more he learned about this guy the more he disliked him. 

Roger pulled up to the studio around nine this morning. They were recording some tracks for a bonus album and messing around with the instruments some more. She was going to be there again. Something about Reid needing to give her something to do. He chuckled to himself, knowing that she would somehow find her way out of busywork.

When he walked inside, she was already there, writing furiously at some notebook she had set out on the table.

               “Morning,” he greeted, going over to grab his drumsticks. She jolted slightly as if surprised by his presence. He smirked, shaking his head. “Didn’t mean to scare you, love.” She just stared at him; mouth slightly open as if she was struggling to say something. “Everything alright?”

She blinked before shaking her head. “Uh, yeah! Everything’s fine.”

She turned back down her paper, her pin still over where she had left off. She turned her head to the side and looked back over at him. “Are the other boys here too?”

               “No, I’m early. Wanted to get a little practice in before everyone else arrives.” He shrugged, twirling his drumstick.

               “Oh, I guess I’m earlier than I thought,” she stated, sitting back on the couch. Roger stared at her as she furrowed her eyebrows and scrunched her nose. Just like she used to when she got a thought. He shrugged and headed into the studio walking over to his kit.

As he tuned it and prepared to play, he couldn’t help but look over his shoulder at her only to find her looking at him. There was a storm going on in her head that much he could tell. Her eyes were tired, and her forehead creased as she looked at him. Just as he was finishing up, she stood up and walked into the studio.

               “You know,” she started, walking over to the kit. “You never taught me how to play.”

He smirked and flipped his drumstick again. That night under the stars was a perfect example of their idolized relationship. He had promised her to play the drums and just never got to it. The distance and the busyness; whenever they were together, they didn’t want to waste it on that. He nodded his head towards the drums, watching as she smiled and hopped towards him. He shook his head, chuckling as he made his way towards his seat.

               “Where am I sitting?” she asked, looking for another chair.

               “Right here, silly.” He scooted back so there was a sliver of room on the chair for her to sit in front of him. Her smile fell for a moment as she realized what he meant. There was that war again. Her eyes grew clouded for a moment before she shook her head and gave a tight smile. She walked over and sat down, leaning her back against his chest.

               “Okay, so what do I do?” she giggled, taking the drumsticks from his hand.

               “Okay so hit this one.” He pointed at a drum to the left. She tapped it with her stick, a dull thump coming out of the drum. He laughed, shaking his head. “No, you gotta put some feeling in it.”

               “Feeling?” she giggled, shaking her hips slightly. “Like that?”

               “No, no, no,” he snorted. “Here.” He took her wrists in his hand held her hands still. “Like this.”

He guided her hands through a rhythm, laughing at themselves as they stumbled their way through it. It was nice to see her smile again. A real smile. Not the fake one she wears most of the time but a real smile that he hadn’t seen in five years. Eventually, he pulled his hands away and she did the rhythm all by herself.

               “Roger! I did it!” she squealed, throwing her hands in the air. And it was in that moment that he realized that he was completely and totally in love with her. In that moment, time slowed down and it was just her and her smile. Just like that day in August five years ago.

               “It’s no problem, love,” he mumbled, returning her smile. His cheeks started to burn slightly. And she noticed, her eyes dropping again, the light that was in her eyes leaving. Then there was a door slamming and they both look back at the booth. “Is that—”

               “Fuck, Richard.” She scrambled off him and started towards the door. Richard looked mad. Beyond mad he was pissed. He glared at Roger before turning around and storming out to of the booth. “Richard! Wait!” Roger stood and went to follow her, but she just whipped around and shouted at him. “Just stay here, please.”

And with that she ran out the door, calling after Richard. He cursed, throwing his drumstick at the wall. How could he be so stupid? This was just like when he saw her the first time. Something about her continued to have a hold of him and he didn’t want to break loose. He didn’t want to lose her. She had him wrapped around her finger. He still loved her. And he was letting her getaway.

He turned on his head and flung open the door, running after her. But right as he tried to open the door, it flew open.

               “What on earth is going on in here?” Freddie exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. Roger blew air through his nose and pushed Freddie aside walking out the door. He raced to the parking lot. But he could hear Richard before he saw him.

               “We discussed this last night and you’re already going to fuck him?” Richard was shouting. “What the hell are you thinking?”

               “Please it’s not what you think!” That was (Y/N). “He was just showing me how to play the drums.”

               “You really think I’m dumb enough to believe that?”

Roger rounded the corner, ready to intervene but was pulled back by someone else. John had a grip on Roger’s shoulder and was pulling him away.

               “Don’t get in between that,” he recommended, pulling Roger inside. “Trust me, you’ll just make it worse.”

               “God, I want to strangle that guy,” Roger growled, throwing Deaky’s hand off his shoulder.

Deaky huffed a laugh, rolling his eyes. “The feeling’s mutual. He came into Fred’s party the other night acting like a worried mother. Made me spill my drink on Ronnie.”

Roger looked over his shoulder at the door, narrowing his eyes. But then he relaxed his forehead, running a hand through his hair. John looked at him sympathetically.

               “I made her smile today…” Roger told him, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I haven’t seen her smile like that in a while.”

Roger’s mind was racing. In the past three days, Roger had felt more for a woman he can’t have than he had for any of the women he’d slept with in the past five years. Five years it’d been and all emotions he’d shoved away were so easily pulled back to the forefront of his mind. But now it was ten times stronger.

               “It’s nice,” John remarked, smiling knowingly at Roger.

               “What?” Roger glanced over at John.

               “Seeing you like this again.”

Roger turned his head over to Deaky, seeing his smile. He wanted to shout at him and tell him just how wrong he was, but John knew him way to well to lie. He just shook his head and let out a groan.

               “I am in a pickle, aren’t I?” Roger chuckled, slinging an arm around John’s neck.

               “A complete jam, my friend,” John replied, patting Roger’s back. “Now let’s get started on this damn song, shall we?”

               “I think we shall,” Roger sighed with a final glance over his shoulder.

They made their way back into the studio where Brian had joined them in the booth. It wasn’t long before they’d sent in Roger to lay down the drums for the track. While Roger was drumming, (Y/N) walked back into the booth, silently sitting back down on the couch. None of the boys made a commotion about it, a spatter of hellos and returning to their work.

She didn’t look up at him, continuing her paperwork without so much as a glance. Roger wet his lips, looking over at John who motioned for him to sit next to her. So, he did. He went to sit down next to her, not missing how she flinched away from him. He also didn’t miss the way her nose sniffled giving away that she’d been crying. He wanted to comfort her. Give her some sign that he was there for her.

He glanced at her free hand, resting on the couch near him. He reached for it, laying his hand over hers. Her pen stilled, frigid in her grasp. He started bringing it to his face, but she ripped her hand out of his grasp, snapping her head to look at him. The look in her eye made Roger take a step back. She looked angry, but also scared and another emotion he could describe. Her eyes were still red from tears and she stood, rushing out of the room.

This time, Roger didn’t hesitate. He followed her out of the room.

               “(Y/N), what’s wrong?” He called after her.

She spun around coming face to face with him. “You can’t do this to me, Roger.”

               “Do what?” he questioned, furrowing his eyebrows.

               “You know damn well what,” she spat. “I’m dating Richard now, and he makes me very happy.”

Roger snorted, hearing his pulse in his ear. “Oh, does he now?”

He didn’t know why he said it, and he immediately regretted it, but it was out there and there was no going back. Her mouth dropped and she thinned her lips, cocking her hips to the side.

               “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Richard loves me!” Her words were strong, but he could tell she was faltering. He didn’t know why he wanted to start this fight now, but the words just kept coming out of his mouth.

               “Oh, and he told you that?” he spat back at her. That hurt her. Her eyes went wide and her mouth began opening and closing as she tried to find something to say. “Since when did you learn what love is anyways.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, taking a deep breath. He wanted to take it back. Take back this whole bloody day.

               “I need you to stay away from me, Roger,” she growled. “For your own sake as much as mine.”

               “What does that even mean?” he sneered.

               “It means you really pissed Richard off,” she hissed. “And I need you to leave me alone.”

Roger took a step back, processing her words. She wanted him to ignore her, pretend that his feelings didn’t exist. Pretend that they weren’t even friends. He found himself shaking his head, raising his eyebrows.

               “(Y/N), I can’t—you know I –”

               “I honestly couldn’t care less, Roger,” she said in defeat. “Richard told me not to see you anymore, and I honestly can’t disagree.”

With that, she turned around and walked out the door. Roger found himself glued to his spot, a sinking feeling making its way into his heart. He lost her. She was gone. When he drove away from her house five years ago, he made the biggest mistake of his life.

He dug his hand into his pocket, fishing for his wallet. When he found it, he pulled it out and opened it. There, sitting in his wallet, was that polaroid he had of her. The very first picture he ever took of her. Behind the drums, looking for the shoes he had hidden from her.

That was his (Y/N) and he lost her. But he wasn’t going to give up. He was going to find her and let her know that he loved her. He loved her and he would do anything for her. She would be safe again. Even if it wasn’t right now, or tomorrow. He would be with her again.

___________________________________

@zodiacal-dust-and-curls @leah-halliwell92 @angiefangirlworld-2 @dove-turned-destroyer @16wiishes @queenismyrealdad @blondecarfucker @chlobo6 @wolverinesbeer @onevisionliz @catnissprior-blog @thewinchesterchronicles @brianmays-badgers @aninthitha 

[lovemesomesurveys]

What’s your name, baby? ;] Ew the “baby” made me cringe lol, but anyway my name is Stephanie. And how are you doing on this fine day? It’s been a typical meh kinda day. Alright, enough of that. We all know how boring that shit is. So, do you believe in any conspiracy theories? lol. Some of them made me question and wonder, but mostly I just find stuff like that fun and interesting. Do you prefer actual books or those weird devices like the Kindle? I use the Kindle app on my phone and it works great for me. I have access to thousands of books at my fingertips.  Is there a certain social networking site you just can’t stay away from? Tumblr, apparently. 10 years and going strong, ha.

Do you prefer female or male vocalists? I like both. How do you feel about the oil spill in the Gulf? * I dont know which oil spill ur referring to exactly, but its obviously not a good thing. Is there anyone (w a SOUL) who actually thinks that oil spills or environmental catastrophes are a positive thing? Like, it jst rlly MAKES THEIR DAY to hear abt nature being destroyed? <<< HA, right. Like, “Oh, I feel pretty great about it!” Around what time do you start feeling tired enough to go to sleep? I mean, I’m fighting sleep all day if we’re being real. But I usually go to sleep around 2ish or so. What trends do you refuse to give in to? * Im not a vry trendy person to begin w so its not like Im sitting here trying to resist giving into something, lmao. There are plenty of trends that dont interest me whatsoever, tho. I only partake in something if it suits me, not to be up w the times or relevant or whatever <<< I’m the same way.  What types of perfume/cologne do you like on your preferred sex? A lot of colognes smell pretty great. I really like cedar wood and sandalwood. What subjects in history interest you most? A lot of it does.  When was the last time you went bowling? Back in 2009, I think.  Are you superstitious in any way? I sometimes don’t like to say certain things out loud out of fear of making it come true. Oh, and I do the “knock on wood” thing, but that’s really more out of habit.  How do you get rid of anxiety? Ha, I’d sure like to know. Do you find it easy to express your feelings to someone? Nooo.  ^How about when you really, really care for that person? Expressing my feelings is something I really struggle with in general. Are there any items of jewelry you never/rarely take off? Nope. Has a song ever made you cry before? Yeah, many songs have. ^If so, what about it brought you to tears? Memories attached to it or the lyrics. Some songs just sound sad, ya know? Are you a more of a homebody, or someone who’s always out with friends? I’ve become a total hermit crab over these past few years. I don’t have friends or a social life anymore. What’s the title of the book nearest to you? There’s several books on my bookshelf nearby. Are you materialistic? No, I wouldn’t say that. I mean, I do like my MacBook and my iPhone I admit, but that’s like the biggest thing. Describe the person you like/love in five words. I don’t like or love anyone in the romantic sense currently. Would you consider yourself open-minded? I think so. Is there anything in your life right now that needs fixing? Everything? I’m a mess. Are you old fashioned in any way? I feel like I am with some things. Do you find yourself correcting people’s grammar often? Only mentally. I don’t call ‘em out on it. When was the last time someone gave you a massage? Never. Reese’s ice cream: Yay or nay? Yay. Tell me something about yourself that I might find interesting. I share enough in surveys. Would you say that the simple things in life make you happy? Some things do, like my first cup of coffee in the morning. Aren’t cinnamon rolls downright heavenly? :3 They are quite delicious. When was the last time you were in an amazingly awesome mood? I don’t even remember. Do you come up with your own words or sayings often? No. Have you ever been on Fmylife.com? xD Yeah. I used to go on there often back in the day. It was pretty entertaining. Which holiday do you dislike most? There isn’t one I really dislike, just ones that I’m not as into. Were you ever into that gel bracelet craze? Yeah. Do you have any scars on the palms of your hands? No. What’s the first thing you think of when I say ‘pearl necklace’? I think of the really nice one I used to have that broke. :( How do you handle stress? Not well. Have you ever had jury duty? I’ve received the jury notice summons or whatever a few times, but I always get excused because of health reasons. Gummi worms: Yay or nay? Nay. I don’t like gummy stuff. What do you do when you have 'me time’? I have a lot of “me” time and I do the things I’ve listed countless times now in surveys. What’s your opinion on Weird Al Yankovic? I liked some of his parodies.  Have you ever met someone online that you wanted to meet in real life? Yeah, several people.  Is there something you need to get off your chest at the moment? Blah. What would be a clever name for a giraffe? * Who’s that guy from Kiss w the long-ass tongue? Lets call the giraffe that <<< Gene Simmons? Hahah. Do you always mean it when you say 'I love you’? Yes. Those aren’t words I just throw around. When was the last time you got your car washed? I don’t have a car of my own, I don’t drive. Give me an example of a sick death metal band. I don’t listen to that kind of music. How often do you listen to bands from other countries? I like some artists from Sweden and the UK. Do you tan easily? No. I used to when I was a kid, but probably because I spent like all day outside back then. Now cause I very rarely spend much time outdoors, anytime I spend a significant amount of time outdoors (like at the beach) I burn. When was the last time you entertained yourself with shadow puppets? :3 Not since I was a kid.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

9 Writing Essentials

Hey People of Earth!

Today I wanted to share 5 essentials I use often when writing. @sarahkelsiwrites actually already did a blog post like this (which you can check out HERE), but fun fact, I was supposed to do the exact same thing, and she beat me to it... We must be twins or something, amirite.

1. Green tea

I probably drink an unhealthy amount of green tea every day. I honestly can’t write without green tea. It’s somewhat of a routine at this point to come downstairs, make a cup of tea, then get to writing. I’m all for the simple green tea, so dessert teas/herbal teas are things I usually don’t have on hand. Though I love me some quality David’s Tea, I’m perfectly fine drinking green tea from the same bag for 10 hours. lol.

2. Text to speech

@sarahkelsiwrites mentioned this in her post, mostly because she introduced it to me in the first place. I’ve been using this feature in Word for a couple months, and I can say I absolutely love it. Sometimes, when I’m not feeling my work, I find listening to it out loud gets me in the mood. Also, it’s a great method for catching typos, and in general, creates a really engaging space for me. HERE’s the tutorial for how to enable this feature in Word.

If you don't have Word, or would prefer to use mobile, I used to use this app called Natural Read all the time. It’s been a while since I used it, but when I downloaded it a while back, it gave an allotted number of free reading hours before you have to purchase the app. I actually really like this app because it sounds less like a robot (and they also have different voices!), so if that’ll bother you, I’d check that out. I also used to copy and paste my chapters into Google translate before I found out about this Word feature since they have an option to listen to the text out loud.

3. WordBook

I just recently downloaded this app (it’s free in the Windows store, don’t think it’s available for Mac), and I love it! It’s a dictionary/thesaurus app, and it’s seriously so helpful. Usually, when looking for synonyms, I hop onto google and dive straight over to thesaurus.com, but I find it’s somewhat inefficient since you have to pull up the browser, type in what you want, etc. I wanted to find a thesaurus app for this so I can just always have it open on my desktop, and I found that through WordBook. Not only is it a super efficient app, it’s got a really clean layout, and WORKS OFFLINE.

This is what its layout looks, featuring one of my favourite words.

As you can see, it has three tabs on the left. I usually just search up a word on the right, then immediately click over to the thesaurus tab since I don't really look up definitions all that often. You can even click on the various words it gives you, which is great.

If you don't have a thesaurus/dictionary app, and are using just the web, I highly recommend switching over to an app. It doesn't have to be this one (though Windows users, I love this one), but you’ll be surprised how much time it saves you. If you can find an app that you can use offline like this one, it’s so beneficial if you’re out and about and need a dictionary/thesaurus.

4. The Emotion Thesaurus

Last summer @sssoto introduced me to this book, and I’m so happy she did. It’s basically this book by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi that gives you examples of physical, internal, and mental reactions associated with certain emotions. It also gives you some long-term effects and tips. I believe I got it for somewhere between 5-7 bucks. It’s an incredible investment, especially if you’re just stuck in describing a particular emotion. I love this thing so much.

As essential 4.5, I’m also going to mention an e-reader app I also downloaded (it’s free for Windows, also don't think it’s available for Mac), called Fly Reader. If you have epub files (ebooks) that you need to open on a desktop, I really recommend this one. I don't *think* Macs need this since I believe the iBooks app is on there? But I’m not quite sure. I downloaded this one for my PC so I could view this book instead of heaving to go onto my phone every time I needed it. It’s highly customizable and super convenient. (I do believe there are kindle versions of these books, though!)

5. The Urban Setting Thesaurus

@sssoto also introduced me to this book because she’s such a great friend and knows how description challenged I am. :’) I don’t use this one as often when drafting because I’m really bad at actively adding in description, but when I’m editing, I often have this book on hand. Like the emotion thesaurus, this one also has a ton of different places that could potentially be in urban settings, and lists off sights, sounds, smells, tastes, textures + sensations, possible sources of conflict, and people commonly found in the setting for various places. This is great if you’ve never been to a particular place and are having trouble finding words to connect back to pictures you’ve seen, etc, and I highly recommend it!

6. Mangoes

I seriously can’t not mention mango here. My family has a disturbingly profuse amount of mangoes in our house. And often when I write, I’ll eat a mango. I don't know why, but who needs a reason to eat mango.

I made up this little mango peeling tip that is SO awesome. I’m giving myself a pat on the back for this one because it’s so efficient and you don't waste any mango.

Honestly you’re welcome, it’s so great. From here you can cut the fruit directly, orrr eat it like a straight mango banana like I do.

If you’d like to see how many mangoes we own:

Kinda seems dumb that mango is an essential, but when is mango ever not an essential.

At this point, mangoes have their own little section in the fridge. It’s a little mango society. I call this winning.

7. Pinterest

I mean, if you’re a writer who needs a productive way to procrastinate...

I love Pinterest. I’m a visual person, so photographs are right up my alley. I draw lots of inspiration from photos, so Pinterest is great for this. Links for my boards are below.

I’M DISAPPOINTED

FOSTERED

ALANNIS

SIXTEEN CENTS

8. Reverse Dictionary

THIS is the reverse dictionary I use, and I absolutely love it. I used this quite a lot a couple of days ago, and it literally saves my soul every time I need it.

9. Music

This is a bit of a given, seeming as though I always geek on and on about music... I’m just going to insert a couple of my favourite albums here, in case you’d like to give them a shot. (If you’re wondering, my music taste centres around alternative rock, and branches into a spectrum of some indie, and then into a spectrum of punk. I’m going to order this from indie to alt rock to punk to some singer-songwriter/pop/hip-hopish AKA Ed Sheeran since he really doesn't fit into one genre exactly. So the first couple albums will be indie rock/have more indie vibes and so on.

(Ed’s the only music I listen to that isn't in the rock spectrum, to note!)

Also including two fave tracks for each album. Wish me luck in trying to only pick two.

His Young Heart EP by Daughter

Top two tracks: The Woods, Candles

The Wild Youth EP by Daughter

Top two tracks: Home, Youth

Live @ Air Studios EP by Daughter

Top two tracks: Amsterdam, Still

If You Leave by Daughter

Top two tracks: Smother, Shallows

Not To Disappear by Daughter

Top two tracks: Numbers, Made Of Stone (and New Ways)

Light Upon The Lake by Whitney

Top two tracks: No Woman, On My Own

Comedown Machine by The Strokes

Top two tracks: One Way Trigger, Welcome To Japan

Angles by The Strokes

Top two tracks: Machu Picchu, Games

Future Present Past EP by The Strokes

Top two tracks: Threat Of Joy, Oblivius (Moretti Remix)

First Impressions of Earth by The Strokes

Top two tracks: (this is going to kill me, by the way, this is my favourite album in the entire world) Ize Of The World (my favourite song), Razorblade

Room On Fire by The Strokes

Top two tracks: The End Has No End, You Talk Way Too Much

Is This It by The Strokes

Top two tracks: Someday, Last Nite

The Narwhals EP by The Narwhals

(you probably can’t find this EP anywhere anymore since they’ve taken down all of their Narwhals music, but if you can find it... memoriessss)

Top two tracks: I’m Full, Growing Old

Sad Boys EP by Surf Curse

Top two tracks: Forever Dumb, I’m Not Making Out With You

Buds by Surf Curse

Top two tracks: Heathers, In My Head Till I’m Dead

All We Know Is Falling by Paramore

Top two tracks: My Heart, Franklin

Brand New Eyes by Paramore

Top two tracks: Ignorance, Misguided Ghosts (and All I Wanted)

Riot! By Paramore

Top two tracks: For A Pessimist I’m Pretty Optimistic, Born For This

+ by Ed Sheeran

Top two tracks: Give Me Love, You Need Me, I Don’t Need You

x by Ed Sheeran

Top two tracks: Tenerife Sea, Bloodstream

Loose Change by Ed Sheeran

Top two tracks: Let It Out, Homeless

÷ by Ed Sheeran

Top two tracks: Eraser, New Man

That’s it for albums, here are some singles:

Modern Girls and Old Fashioned Men by The Strokes

Dirty Disposition by Precious Kid

Pleaser by Wallows

yo kerris on the cover tho nice pic justine

Sun Tan by Wallows

11th Dimension by Julian Casablancas

This is actually the cover art for his solo album Phrazes For The Young but since I only have 11th Dimension off the album (just waiting for the right time to actually get this album), here it is.

So that’s my entire music library, basically.

Aside from a couple songs here and there, this is basically all I listen to. So yeah, if I only had a set amount of music to listen to, these would be my essentials.

So that’s it for this post! If I think of any other essentials, I’ll make a part two to this. I hope this was helpful to you, or at least gave you some insight on my personal writing process! Thanks for reading as always. :)

--Rachel

[allyouhavetodo]

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine

Hey, I read something popular!

For the Read Harder Prompt: a book by a woman (and/or author of color) that won a literary award in 2018 (this lady is just white tho)

So this is a bestseller AND a winner of multiple British Book Awards

And, hey, it’s good! It won all those awards for a reason. And, hey, (spoilers) Eleanor Oliphant is NOT completely fine.

The story takes a couple of twists and turns, some of which it leads you to more than others, so I don’t want to get into the plot too much.

Besides, the real star of the story is the narration. First person, by the main character, who truly doesn’t understand how to be a person in a way that makes my little robot brain feel better about itself. It did make me wonder if the character is supposed to be neurodiverse. It hard to imagine writing a character like this in 2018 and not having they be a consideration. But there’s nothing explicit said about it. And all the other characters treat her like she’s sort of weird but nothing more than that.

Also, the vocabulary is very extensive, due to her positron as an obsessive crossword puzzler. To the point that I was glad I was reading it on my kindle because it made it easier to look up and take note of unfamiliar words.

I guess I would recommend it. It kept me invested. And it’s not like anything I’ve ever read before.