#{ headcanon. }

[burglaresse]

picture it: an alternative view of the Luthor mansion? or perhaps an unused wing of the estate. remembering back to when Lex had that little stalker incident with the maid's daughter, and there was that whole little section reserved for the staff's family. Ever since that little incident, the staff doesn't live on the premises due to the security breach. If it's not being used, Selina is sneaking in and claiming it as her new headquarters. ( Imagining this to be after the events of Villa Hermosa. )

[foulwitchknight]

Eddie leaves his rings as courting gifts for Steve thinking he’ll pick up his intentions. However Steve keeps giving back the rings he finds. It happens one too many times that Eddie falls into rejection sickness very close to his rut. Steve visits him worried and ends up helping him through it. The next morning while Steve is cooking breakfast he finds the ring that Eddie was going to use to ask him to officially court. He tears up when he realizes it’s engraved with ‘My omega’. He immediately goes to wake up Eddie calls him a dingus and tells him how he’s been waiting forever to be his.

[wernerherzogs]

the thing is. eddie chosen as the designated driver by the captain while the team was rushing to save buck's life tells us everything we need to know about his driving skills.

[themortalitasi]

The guilt Emmrich feels when Rook becomes trapped in the Fade is overwhelming. He shoulders the blame entirely, knowing it was his words that urged Rook to reach for the blade.

The burden is so much if they are in a romance, as their last interaction was a fight the day before. Though Emmrich tries to make amends the next day at Tearstone Island, offering an apology, Rook assures him that it's alright and promises they’ll talk more once they return home.

But Rook never comes home.

In the weeks that follow, Emmrich is just simply devastated. The weight of Rook’s absence and his own perceived culpability just crushes him.

He's there in the Lighthouse replaying every moment, every word, as though he might find a way to undo it all. It's why he tries to craft the dagger, he's desperately trying to find a way to get Rook back but also he just needs to keep his mind busy.

Otherwise, he can't escape that gnawing belief that he is to blame for everything.

[nobodyexpectsthe]

also the way pirith wants kids but doesn't think he should have any due to the nature of his work and the target it would put on them. he thinks maybe one day, when his work is done. but the work is never done and he'll mourn for the life he could have had.

the best he does is sets up an orphanage in one of the neighboring villages and makes frequent visits. and he's an excellent uncle to any children the inner circle have.

[recitedemise]

Gale's ambition is a result of his hunger for affection — or simpler yet, for approval. Upon meeting him, it might be easy, too easy in fact, to cast him as haughty and far too proud. And he is, don't get me wrong, eager to highlight, present, and parade his genius, but gallivanting merrily for the sake of vanity? Heaven forbid. In truth, it's more an attempt to wrangle praise.

Growing up, Gale Dekarios, a prodigy, was valued primarily for his vicious intellect. In that way, he was few in his companions and fewer in his friendships that would hold for years. Still, as he was only just a boy, he had learned to mold himself in a way they'd favor. In time, he grew to advertise it all, plastering his intelligence like a some gaudy ad. It's what they fancied, he had decided, never sought for his company or his too-spirited rambles, so why fumble through the legwork at having them grasp his quality? This way is far kinder — and far more painless.

It stands to reason then, unfortunately, why being chosen by Mystra only made this worse. Again, she had sought him for his mind. She had kept him in her cradle for his aptitude at spellcraft. Their love had been paltry, so vacant in a flavor as to toe on spartan; however, starved for affection and a tentative kindness? Gale, a stricken fool, couldn't see the truth.

To summarize, Gale was obscenely insecure, absolutely a strutting peacock for better opinion. Through some encouragement, however, he can slowly — and very carefully! — begin to curb that habit.

As a closing note, I think some dialogue at the end of the game captures this perfectly:

Who cares [what people think of you]?

Gale (at the party, content): Not me, of course. Gale of Waterdeep might have craved such attention, but Gale Dekarios does a heroic deed purely for its own quiet satisfaction — and the occasional hearty 'thank you.'

We love a more anchored, self-assured king. :)

[idolbound]

One thought before my Mother™️ comes over:

It is rare that Meredith goes out to the parties thrown by the nobility, but when she does, she typically chooses the dress shirt and trousers (like that of her concept art), but sometimes she will wear a dress - form fitting and accentuating her best features, hair styled appropriately, and maybe even a touch of make up - and most people don’t realize it’s her until they hear her speak. While not often worn, she still remains just as confident in her appearance too.

[mskwtz]

I need to update these but some of them still stand and I love them. That said, give hawk a nickname!

[foulwitchknight]

I Want You to Want Me: Part II

Eddie had known Steve Harrington was his mate for years and he can’t say he was thrilled about it. He’d bumped into Steve in beginning of Sophomore year and his heart sank when he heard him hiss out Watch it! Thankfully Steve had been too preoccupied at the time and hadn’t even noticed him. Eddie still took it upon himself to avoid him like the plague for the rest of the year so they wouldn’t interact. Thankfully they ran in completely different circles so it was was easy. Eddie just couldn’t see how they would work. He’d watched Steve strut around town and treat people like Eddie like shit. No way Steve would accept him as his mate. He kept hoping he’d made a mistake but the longing and restlessness he got when he thought of Steve confirmed it. He just accepted that it was his fate to watch Steve court then marry some rich Alpha while he ended up pining and alone. Times got rough and he decided to help out by getting a part time job at the country club in a town close by. The same one he finds out later was a favorite of the Harrington’s. It honestly made him panic. He didn’t think he could face the youngest Harrington without exposing their mate status. So imagine his relief when he found out Steve rarely came there. He started to relax little by little confident that he would never see him and then the Incident happened. Eddie had always hoped that Steve would change but the display that day made him realize he never would. Not as long as the Harrington fortune and social currency would protect him. With their mating exposed, Steve started coming around the club more. He would seek him out to talk or flirt and always left him fat tips. Eddie tried to keep it as professional as possible. It didn’t help that Steve started wearing things to draw attention to his neck and his physical attributes. There was no question that Steve was beautiful even more so now that he could see him up close. The biggest issue though was that he smelled like heaven. He’d been denying himself even a whiff of Steve’s scent for a long time and could hardly handle his now constant exposure to it. All he wanted to do was bury his nose in his neck and take a deep whiff. Or better yet bite him and officially make him his. He already smelled like he should be. He was secretly thrilled by Steve’s attention, but Eddie really didn’t want him to know that so he wore scent patches to hide his attraction. He could tell that Steve was disappointed by Eddies seeming lack of interest, but in the long run Eddie thought it was safer this way. Steve was better off mating with one of those rich “charming” Alphas he was always going with. There was no way they could be together so why try.

Part 3

[vorashvan]

i think bel has absolutely tried catching all of the wisps in neve's office with a butterfly net. just saying. and she absolutely did not get caught standing on neve's desk with one. no sir.

[sirserpentine]

New egg!!!

Meet Fitzgerald, Pentious and Alastor's ( @radioiaci ) latest invention! She is a newborn egg gal and finally has a name!!

She joins the ranks of Frank, Freddy Mercury, Frog, AJ, Francis, Felix, Fred and the rest of the egg gals that haven't been introduced yet! ((They are off on a special mission...))

She exists primarily in relation to Pen and Alastor's verse, but idk, she's so cute that I'll probs include her in the general verses too<33 Yeah. Totes will. Everyone is free to love her.

[shepcdr]

i know that Shepard asking about aliens and about literally every new piece of intergalactic info you come across is supposed to be for the player to be able to learn new information. but for Yishai I like the take that he just fucking sucks

he was taken into the alliance on account of biotic potential. he was raised on the streets and has a very basic grasp of reading/writing/arithmetic that he came into on his own. he at least took advantage of alliance enlistment incentives whilst trying to manage enlisting "the right way" ... got some studying help so that his asvab scores went from "abysmal" to "not great and still non-qualifying" until they were waived on account of his LE3 implants operation, and then he was training to be put on the front lines.

he joined the alliance with hopes of getting away from the gang he was heavily entangled with and until then reliant upon to survive. with no intention of ever becoming a commanding officer or goals for any position that requires that sort of knowledge. he aimed to be stationed near or in the Skyllian Verge and especially only started pushing for a large role in the operation targeting torfan, and by then he had some n7 training to show for it.

he has had supplemental education since joining the alliance as part of his benefits, and help from VIs ensures he can navigate the more paperwork oriented parts of his job. without VI help he can recognise and jot down basics esp military jargon/abbreviations. but he is to some degree functionally illiterate outside the alliance. he Is capable of reading materials, given a lot of time and patience. he is not used to it and does not often want to do it (he is not going to stand for more than 10 seconds in front of a direction post on the citadel to figure out what it says. instead we're wandering around in the presidium in circles for another half hour!)

how realistic is this for an executive officer? Probably not very, and I need to learn more about how the alliance operates and the irl military equivalent, but this is the future and VIs and other developments have likely made these things easier to navigate and are integrated in ways that make it Possible that Shepard ended up where he is, in this situation. simply because that is how I want it to be for his specific case

when people talk about intergalactic politics and history and about only knowing "what they learnt in school," shepard is at least 10 steps behind because history class? he didn't take those. And he is not cracking open history books in his off time or listening to audiobooks. (his life is about the silly little personal missions and quests that he does in relation only to his work in the alliance and to the original Yishai shepard I made for his backstory.) the Normandy crew are educating him from almost nothing and he loves them for it. Hugely intense cultural exchange. Unfortunately weird sometimes when the commanding officer that took you onto his ship is like "so the genophage what is that? 🤪" but he is always learning smth new...

I also think he has some decent improvements in reading/writing without VI assistance throughout me1-me3 but that's my silly little headcanons there. maybe I'll expand on this, format it and make it look better to repost down the line but for now this is self-indulgent Runo rambling, tbd

[recitedemise]

𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲'𝘀 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀, 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿. This lengthy headcanon will refer to canon dialogue from mostly Gale, sometimes others. Reader's discretion is advised. There will be in depth explorations into grooming, emotional abuse, heavy manipulation, and suicide.

First, let it be said that Gale, a mortal man, will always be the powerless one in his dynamic with Mystra. Of course, nearing forty years of age, he remains entirely responsible for his own actions, his own blunders and every hurt he'll cause, but it's important to remember who formed much of who he is: his goddess, his deity, and egregiously, his lover.

Mystra is power. Mystra is possibility. She knows what sway she holds over her Ioyal, vulnerable, and entirely mortal followers. In all ways that matter, they are but lambs she can steer and herd as she sees fit. She knows they can't deny her and knows they'll never want to. Gale's sheer servitude and complete devotion. Mystra, knowing that, used him to filth.

Gale: I was just... practising an incantation. Player Character: No, there's more to it than that. I know devotion when I see it. Gale: What can I say? She's—she's Mystra. I can't describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her - to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence... Mystra is all magic. And as far as I'm concerned, she is all creation. Player Character: I didn't realize the depth of your devotion. Gale: Magic is... my life. I've been touched with the Weave for as long as I can remember. There's nothing like it.

Gale, orb in his chest, doomed to be eaten by the very thing he loves the most, still speaks so reverently of the goddess, of his lover that has left him to die. He conjures images of her memory—and she is all the while forgetting about his.

Minsc: Gale reminds me of vremyonni of my homeland. The man-mages of Rasheman. While the girl-folk go on to rule as wychlaran, Weave-touched boys were hidden away. Trained to work their craft in silence and secrecy. It is an old custom, not well-observed. In truth, I thought it born of caution after some catastrophe of wizardly men-folk of old. Now, I wonder if it was not done to hide them from Mystra, and the snares she sets for young and prideful boys, hm?

Tales of Mystra's treachery spreads far, leaving those familiar waters surrounding Gale's tower in Waterdeep. They whisper her name, afraid to utter it one time too many, suspecting, perhaps, that she'll show in their mirror like some Faerûnian Bloody Mary.

Talent rouses Mystra. She can see who uses the gift of the Weave and feel them, sampling whatever delight sings their veins as they pull from her domain. Not unlike a spider, she'll follows every tremor that strikes her as just a sliver more profound; and Gale, a prodigy, plucked the Weave's web to so garner her focus. And like some black widow scurrying, she surged down that ripple to prey on a boy. There, Gale, so impressionable, was just a mite older than twelve whole summers. He sat so stunned, beholding Mystra as she lured him into the cradle of her Astral domain. Bathed in her magic, pleasantly coddled within that glittering cosmos, Gale felt blessed in a way he'll struggle always to recount, no word, no language, fit to describe it. He felt chosen. He felt seen. And potently, to a child, he felt loved. Now, imagine a child experiencing something like that. Imagine what they'd think, how brilliant they must be when stood beside the rest. She told him he was gifted, made his heart swell not unlike a child's appetite for praise. She knew what she was doing by offering these morsels, by preying on a child's most delicate mind, and Gale, child prodigy, was already so awash in the idea that his value was in magic. Unfortunately, Gale, susceptible, had no way of squirming out of his goddess' grasp.

Reality: She's laid down the seeds to creep into his heart. When he's just old enough—seventeen's sufficient, she thinks—she stakes her claim and makes him hers.

Gale: My virtuosic talent once caught the eye of the goddess of magic herself, Mystra, who named me her chosen and her lover.

Gale is stunned when she takes him to bed the first time. (Is this really happening?) Mystra claims his mouth in a kiss, taking everything she knows he offers so willingly. Mystra, of course, is not so stunned.

Dream Visitor: An elder brain... one of the cruelest and most powerful creatures in existence, enslaved by mere mortals. Gale, tasked with Mystra's missive to sacrifice himself: This is it... I must do as Mystra commands.

Gale has worryingly low self-esteem beyond his magic. As already explored, his entire worth as a man hinged on and was built entirely off his talent as a wizard. He fought tooth and nail for any crumb of affection Mystra would offer his way, something she only gave him at all seeing his gift as a child. He wants her forgiveness. He desires it genuinely. He believes so firmly that he has wronged his goddess, buying into the idea that sacrificing himself will right his wrong. She holds such dominion over him, making him reduce his confidence in himself into a mere, trifling pittance; after all, she wasn't just his lover, but the patron deity he prays to. And regardless, Gale is a people pleaser, his initial acceptance of her missive coming as no surprise.

After all, Gale, at times, goes to incredible lengths to appease his audience. This habit, compulsion, impulse, whatever you want to call it, is a quality that was relentlessly exacerbated in his relationship with his immortal paramour. He wanted to content her, felt all he did was never enough, for as a matter of principle, he was oceans, leagues, and entire galaxies beneath her. Gale figures: well, how can a short-lived dalliance satisfy a god? He had to make her happy. Indeed, he'd done everything she'd ask. He'd bedded her how she liked, kissed her how she wanted, and of course, even said those words she'd said tasted best. She was his lover, a lover that never tended to his own needs and pleasures, and he fooled himself into thinking that's enough. He won't bend backwards for everyone, mind you, but if you're of the ones he would, he would stop at nothing to make you happy. After all, people pleasing is a way to keep oneself safe, a trauma response to sidestep discomfort, and though it achieves only a direly tentative peace, when that is all you've been fed, you will pursue it.

Gale did not want to lose Mystra; he couldn't bare the sting of it. And so, when Elminster visited him, Mystra's call for his death offered oh so callously, Gale, heartbroken, felt that part of him kick up. He couldn't endure the guilt, was so hungry for a chance to let his weighty heart breathe, even if it meant dying in the process.

At least this way, he'll finally do something right. At least this way, Mystra will forgive him, and all his friends will survive.

Gale: After I was afflicted with my condition, I locked myself in my tower for an entire year. I was inconsolable, wallowing in my self-inflicted tragedy. I'd given up on myself.

As a byproduct of people pleasing, Gale, too, is all too quick to accept all guilt. He self-deprecates, gaslights himself to a venomous degree, and twists his reality in so cruel a way as to make him the villain Mystra'd led him to believe. He self-flagellates himself, the first one in the world who will throw Gale of Waterdeep a mental punishment. Mystra's a goddess, after all, seen as utterly faultless, and twined so tightly with a being so mighty in esteem, Gale slipped into the role of the guilty often. When tied with anyone with grandeur like this, so immeasurable in their own self worth, it's important to keep in mind this: you are nothing but a prop in which to fulfill their ego. Gale was not Mystra's, not by a long shot. Rather, Gale was a tool, simply her mortal extension.

And he took every blow meant for her... a common and terrible habit for many people in imbalanced, ego-fueled relationships.

Gale's life beyond her wasn't something that interested her. She took most of Gale's devotion, manipulated his life to be her sole mantle of attention, for Mystra is not a goddess that shares very happily.

Indeed, long before his self-imposed isolation, this jealous deity did well at keeping him isolated.

Player Character: Picture kissing him. With tenderness. Then, with passion. Gale: I... I didn't think— Narrator: You perceive quick-fire embarrassment, trepidation, and finally... elation.

And so, cheated out of love, so reduced in his value as a man and lover both, suffice to say, Gale's slow to believe he can ever be loved. That's what happens when you're with someone so cold, consistent only in their infinite lack of respect. Gale looks at fondness, and he feels—confounded, to be sure. He thinks, is this truly mine to have? He doesn't know what to do, is nearly forty in game, and despite having lived decades devoted to one relationship, he feels, at the same time, entirely out of depth. To be frank, he greets it with embarrassment, like he's been caught red handed with something not his at all. He's like a child caught rummaging with his hand in a cookie jar, all this isn't mine to enjoy, not mine to indulge in, but he thinks, startled, but god, do I want. He wars with disbelief, uncertainty, and need, and in so many ways feeling utterly starved, with just a glimmer of affection, he falls fast into love.

Scenario: (And if properly romanced, it changes his world.)

Gale: In her (Mystra's) likeness, I used to read a thousand stories. She was beauty, wisdom, elegance, power... she contained universes. But now... it is hard to see any redeeming qualities in a lover who condemned you to death. I'd much rather gaze into your eyes than hers. Yours are capable of tenderness and feeling... No god could ever compare.

He says it with sincerity. There is such wonder, such love, and such awe in his eyes. He makes the act of kissing him feel like you've just reached into the trenches to but pluck him soundly from his ruin and despair. You think, Gale Dekarios, how unloved have you been all this time?

Gale: To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command… none have loved me so purely before.

The answer is: entirely.

For so long, Gale thought love was simply being chosen. He knew nothing of being favored for the quality of his character, to be cherished and accepted even in those ways he fumbles and lacks. Again, his needs were seldom met, often treated with utter indifference by Mystra herself, and to meet someone so eager to treasure him, dote on him in a way his heart, his body is somberly new to, raptures his spirit and captures his soul. He's seen for who he is. He's... loved, desired for his silly quips, his easy smiles, and his growing affections. He bares himself to them, and in turn, they cradle his heart like something entirely precious. Gale thinks this has to be dream. He says, at times, you are more than I deserve.

Scenario: (But sometimes, he hopes too strongly and loves too greatly. As it always does, then, like he's once more wanted too much, he watches something beautiful slip right through his fingers. Of course, Gale Dekarios. Of course it does.)

Player Character: I didn't know you felt so strongly, Gale. Gale: Perhaps I should have done more. Been more charming, more flattering, harder to reach... but I was only myself, and sometimes that isn't enough.

They don't love him anymore. It breaks his heart. He hurts so much, so profoundly and deeply, and he doesn't realize that he breaks their heart in turn.

Unable to ever voice his feelings with Mystra in any way that amounted to much, Gale's a tendency to wallow, expressions coming off as potentially 'guilt-tripping' and even, on occasion, passive aggressive. Firstly: Gale NEVER means to manipulate emotions, and he's no intention of twisting anyone's arm, either. Fact is, Gale, never taken seriously when he'd bared his vulnerabilities to the Mother of the Weave, can end up saying just a little too much. He feels very deeply, and for most his life, seldom had an outlet for these weeping sentiments. He sometimes lets slip raw words and oftentimes heart-wrenching expressions; all the same, it's not so pitiful as to shepherd an outcome, but rather, is a gesture taken by a man so desperate to be heard. It may feel like scheming, but the truth is far, far greyer: feeling as though he's no right to share the depth of his heart, Gale simply lets it geyser out in a way he can't cork up. In ways he doesn't realize, he's adapted to this ache, passively reacting so his feelings can at least be seen and recognized—no matter how pitifully unwhole. With someone who values so little his thoughts... well, when he slips into these moods, one can hardly feign shock.

Situation: (And if no one shows him trust and tenderness, any true care in his character or worth, Gale gets swallowed up by how wronged he was.

He thinks: Let me be a god. Let no one hurt like me anymore.)

Gale: They only want us to serve them, pray to them...and ultimately, to die for them. But what if we didn't need them? What if we wielded their power instead and helped ourselves in all the ways they refuse to? I could make that happen.

Gale is not above anger, and as stated, he is not above pettiness; however, more than that, he is not above righting himself whatever wound he was struck. Gale, if not offered much by ways of affection, understanding, is made to believe that one idea that's lived growing in his mind: Gale Dekarios is far from sufficient; he has to be more. He has to be better. Gale, in such an unkind ending for himself, sips too desperately—and perhaps greedily, too, but desperately serves as a far better word—at that idea that he needs power. And so, wresting the Crown of Karsus for himself, he spites Mystra in his own way, becoming a god he feels is leagues better than she will ever be. Damn her thoroughly. Damn her ego, her power, and her endless indifference. He will serve the people, protect them, and in ways Mystra never could, better the world.

Situation: But as a god, he loses all sense of his kindness. Humanity. All who loved him leave him, and even Tara spurns the image he's become. With power, he's gained the respect he thought he always wanted... but in turn, he lost in even greater measure all the love he's known.

Endnote: But healing, knowing to forgive himself and knowing he's deserving of care simply for being Gale Dekarios will remain, always, the best path for him.

[idolbound]

The way that I approach Meredith in either of her redemptive AUs (e.g. Inquisition or Veilguard), is that, after her red lyrium idol sword, Certainty, blows up in her face (and ergo seen as a rejection from the Maker after she called on Him), being exiled serves as an important purpose to helping Meredith realize she was wrong, and understanding that she went too far.

After being exiled out of Kirkwall (think a bloodier, more injured and rushed version of Cersei being walked through King's Landing), for the Inquisition verse, she ventures amidst the outbreak of the mage-templar rebellion, trying to not only heal and recover, but to survive without a direct supply of lyrium. In some ways, she'd have access to supplies here and there for the right amount of coin but as the conflict continues, it becomes harder to get. As the Inquisition forms and moves to Skyhold, and word spreads, she makes the perilous journey there (scarred up, far weaker, and gaunt looking than she once was), and begs the Inquisitor to allow her to join; she is basically a sellsword at this point looking for lyrium supply to stave off the awful effects of withdrawal, but also as a way to try and at least redeem herself and to give herself purpose again. Of course, Culllen and Varric won't be happy she's there, but if accepted, she tends to keep to herself, finding quarters in basically a storage closet, sleeping on bags of feed for the horses and keeps her head down, going where she is demanded to go. She's like a ghost in Skyhold, knowing she failed Kirkwall and failed herself. Over time, with the completion of her personal quest (retrieving personal items from the Gallows/Kirkwall), she finds a new resolve and will survive for about 7-10 years after the Inquisition is over before lyrium dementia will finally set in. (If her personal quest is not completed, she will die serving the Inquisition).

For Veilguard, the tale is spun a little differently. In those 3 years, she still spends time reflecting on herself, but as access to lyrium becomes more difficult, she becomes more desperate and instead, after slowly, horrifically going through withdrawal and looking far worse for wear, she ends up travelling west to enlist with the Wardens as a last resort to save herself from an inevitable end (by, well, choosing another inevitable end). While she has years of experience as a templar, she ends up re-training to serve on the front lines against darkspawn, and eventually, some believe her ability to successfully suppress magic can be useful against certain types of darkspawn, so they secure a supply of lyrium which reinvigorates her strength and capability. But in this time, she is also much of a loner among the Wardens. While they accept nefarious types and criminals, those who know what she did let her know as such, even if it risks having solidarity in the ranks. But in this time, of course, she spends it fighting and giving herself to another cause (all she knows how to do is to serve an institution and something greater). Only after Weisshaupt, can she surface as a possible companion for the Veilguard, should they require her services.

For both verses, though, I think the act of redemption does not necessarily mean that Meredith is suddenly a good person. She's not. But! what it does mean is that she has been removed from the social institution that shaped her personal beliefs and allowed her to oppress mages; it is hard to see the evil when you are inside of it, but once exiled from the Order and Kirkwall more broadly, and spending time alone, she comes to realize that using the idol to gain more power and control was too much, and in a way, it's almost like how mages use blood magic to achieve similar purposes, and that is the very thing she hates the most.

Ultimately, she knows what life she has left to live is an early death sentence; she saw how her adoptive father slowly faded away from lyrium-related dementia, and knows that fate will likely be hers, too. So, Meredith believes that achieving redemption for herself is not to make up for the lives she has hurt and harmed, but to serve and protect others until her dying breath; it is the least she can do because it is all she has ever known.

She still holds prejudice towards mages (and that will always be ingrained in her), but she lacks the power to do anything about their existence now. She cannot let go of her early childhood trauma and general fear of what magic can do, but she has been removed from her station and the means to persecute mages. If the Inquisitor or Rook has mages in their ranks, she accepts it without argument (but she will be avoidant or weary around them, always keeping a watchful eye, just in case).

Also, in this sense, living in exile (despite living under rather unprecedented or... interesting times), is the first time Meredith has ever lived a normal life outside of the Gallows and the Order, and the demands of the Chantry. So this also plays into her redemptive arc by allowing her to experience things she's never gotten to do before, understanding life from a vastly different perspective (even if it is during a time when the world may be ending, and for a very short time compared to her old life).

In the end, redemption for Meredith is not a full 180 degree turn around for her character, but regret weighs heavily upon her; regret for what she did, regret for failing Kirkwall, and regret for never having a life outside of it.

She is haunted by ghosts; she is haunted by herself.

[pavlovianpanic]

chloe — base of lavender, salty sea + rain / a top of night air / a bottom of patchouli, sweet tobacco, bay rum + evergreen forest

max — base of woodbine (honeysuckle) + seashore / a top of sand + rain / a bottom of patchouli, bergamot + juniper

rachel — base of jasmine + rose / a top of awapuhi & seaberry with light honey / a bottom of (heavy) amber and french vanilla / a wash of rain + patchouli

nathan — base of pine needle + ocean breeze / a top of champagne / a bottom of black pepper + a limey bergamot / washes of rain

kate — base of lily of the valley, lily + magnolia / a top of ylang-ylang + gardenia / a bottom of chamomile, carnation + vanilla / washes of rain

the three main girl blends all work together primarily, the patchouli note is the note that bonds all three blends together in reference to chloe. chloe’s blend is very oregon-based. rachel is a girl gone missing. max is finding herself.

kate’s blend is calls to innocence and loss of, lots of victorian inspiration, calls to death.

nathan’s blend calls to insecurity and wanting to emulate his father / be a man.

the washes of rain in kate and nathan tie them together but also reference chloe and rachel. also kate’s rooftop rain scene.

the rain is also uh the storm. it has ties to everyone, and oregon is known to be a rainy place, from portland to the coast.