#{ and I haven't been sleeping well and just laying here is making my brain wish for sleep }

[kitxkatrp]

The question is: do I have the will to work on more BIOs tonight or not

[folliesandfolderols]

Writing prompts day 10

From this prompt list. I set a goal of writing at least 150 words per day in 2024, which sounds pretty pathetic but if you take into account the fact that I haven't written any fiction since 2019 it felt like a feasible target. Anyway I've finished the first draft (it topped out at 88k words) and will be unlocking each post as I edit.

read from the beginning here

Day 9 here

***

119. “Let me make you feel good this time?”

***

Damian drifted off again within a few minutes. Tim lay still as long as he could, listening to him breathing and pathetically grateful that he hadn't had to deal with the aftermath alone. He almost never missed living in the Manor, but sometimes it had been comforting to wake up sobbing and know there were other people in the same house to talk to if he needed.

He didn't think about Bernard, and waking up next to him.

After half an hour of staring at the ceiling, he gave up and eased out from under Damian's limpet clinging to go back out to the living room and work on the files he'd only pretended to look at earlier. This was the grinding sort of information accrual and analysis that he excelled with, even though sometimes he wished he were better at the physical side of the job instead. Currently, he was tracking guns purchased in Gotham and moved to North Carolina, where they were resold and distributed across the country until they made their way south of the border. The guns sold in North Carolina had been identified in dozens of crimes, some of which provided leads about connections in Texas, which could give them some ideas about where they were being used in Mexico and further south.

He didn't realize he'd been sitting in one place for five hours until he rubbed his stinging eyes and his vision went blurry. Right. Time to shower again and wake up.

The one rich-kid indulgence he'd allowed himself that wasn't job-related was a bathroom remodel before he moved in. The shower on the houseboat had barely been big enough to turn around in, and he was sick of hitting his elbows against cold tile and knocking bottles over when he moved too fast. His new shower had double heads, a tile bench, and enough room to sleep in if he felt like it. He'd definitely been tempted to take a nap on the floor a few times. Only the knowledge that he might accidentally block the drain and drown had forced him to get out and trudge to bed.

He turned on both shower heads, stripped, and got in, turning the water hot enough that the bathroom started filling with steam almost immediately. Once in the water, his motivation to get back to work fled. He sighed and leaned his head against the wall, names and addresses still flying through his brain, looking for patterns.

Damian's voice reached him through the fog. "You weren't able to sleep?"

Tim nearly started but caught himself in time. "Nah, too wound up. Worked on the trafficking case instead."

Through the stream of water blurring his eyes, he saw Damian draw closer to the doors. "Well, that will support our story to Father."

Tim exhaled on a laugh. "I thought so too."

"May I join you?"

"Be my guest."

Almost before he'd finished speaking, Damian opened the door and stepped into the water, sighing with contentment. "It's cold this morning."

He had his back to Tim, and the thick, knotted scar on his spine caught Tim's eye. Without thinking, he reached and put his hand over it, feeling the hard tissue beneath his palm.

Damian glanced over his shoulder. "Is everything all right?"

It would definitely be weird to say something about how he was glad Damian wasn't dead anymore. "Yeah. Just. Having a hard time getting moving."

"Here, let me help." Damian poured shampoo into his palm and motioned to Tim to turn around. Tim obeyed and nearly moaned at the feeling of Damian's fingers massaging his scalp. Damian let out an amused breath after a moment. "I believe I used too much. My hair is much thicker than yours."

"That's okay. This way I don't have to wash my back."

"Tt. That's like saying this way you don't have to get clean. Here." Cracking open his eyes as he rinsed, Tim watched Damian get a washcloth and pour shower gel on it. "If you're that tired, I'll take care of it for you."

Tim thought about protesting but couldn't drum up the energy. The shower was having the opposite effect than he'd hoped, and now he was feeling every minute of sleep he'd surrendered. He let Damian get him thoroughly clean and didn't even bother worrying about the fact that he was fully hard by the time Damian knelt to wash his feet.

Damian stood again and gently pushed his shoulder. "Rinse." Tim took a step back, into the thickest part of the spray, and Damian followed. "Is it all right if I . . . ?" He ran his fingers over Tim's erection instead of finishing the sentence.

Tim leaned his forehead against his chest. "I'm tired," he complained, instead of answering.

Damian's free arm wrapped around his back and pulled him closer. "That's all right. You don't have to do anything. Let me make you feel good this time?"

Tim, instead of putting a stop to this the way he knew he should, kept his eyes shut and nodded his assent.

Days eleven and twelve here

[phdmama]

Congrats to you, @thehoneybeet! That's so great, and I always think the more ideas the better!! So yeah, 100% cosign, get those accommodations!

For me, it was really tough to finally acknowledge that my ADHD is, in fact, a disability, but once I started to integrate that, it helped me to 1) offer myself some grace when things are hard and 2) realize there was no way for me to just power through it, and I'd never ever expect anyone else to do that!

So, this will be a bunch of rambling about things I think about and things that work for me - hopefully there will be some helpful things!

For general life:

Self-care on the fundamentals. Getting enough sleep (earlier), taking my meds, eating well, exercising, taking down time (this can be hard in grad school because there always something else to be doing haha so I think it's important to actually put it on the calendar, so you know you have permission to be just hanging out or relaxing or whatever). Connecting with people who love you. Connecting with people who are there to support you - therapist, coaching, tutoring, whatever might help.

I think it's useful to get a good sense of where your particular struggles manifest. For me, initiation and time management are really big struggles. Once I'm on task, I can usually keep going (hyper focus haha) - but switching is really tough. I'm one of those "I have to do something at 2 so I can't do anything until then). So here are things I do.

I rely heavily on schedules and alarms. I put everything in my google calendar and I put alerts on all of them - as many as I think I might need. I also really need the visual, so until I went back to work, I wrote the week's schedule on a whiteboard on my fridge, but now with me working, my whole family life got more complicated so we now have a spreadsheet we fill out every Sunday with who needs to be driven where and who gets which car, as well as planning out dinners for the week. I make a grocery list based on that plan and we've been sticking to it pretty well. (I literally print it out and color code it).

Timers are super helpful for me when I have a set amount of time for one thing. I am working on training myself to just respond to it. Like, I might have 10 minutes in the morning to read, so I'll set the timer, which lets me relax and just read, trusting the external scaffold. I also do this in meetings and stuff at work, so I know I won't lose track of the time.

It's important for me to build habits. My work badge and parking pass always go in the outer pocket of my backpack, so I haven't lost it (so far). Keys always go in my little purse that goes either in my backpack or hangs on the bannister. I know I tend to be careless and like, my brain is always ahead of my body so I lose stuff, misplace stuff, so building in structures for where stuff goes really does help (shoes always go in the shoe rack, that sort of thing). I've used the Tile in that past and now I use find my... more than I wish I had to, but it helps! I lay out workout clothes so I can get on the treadmill first thing in the morning (the only time I really have for it).

It was really helpful for me to figure out where I get derailed and be realistic about what I can and can't do. Like when I was driving my kids to school every day, I realized that I get really thrown off when I have to leave the house and come back, so working on ways to reduce the time I spent noodling around before getting to what I need to be doing was helpful. I really want to to be writing and I'm trying to figure out when my brain isn't too tired and when I have time. It's a work in progress for sure.

For graduate school. I think so much of this is the same. Knowing what you need for productive working conditions. Do you need music? No music? Do you have a dedicated work space? Do you need one? When I was in phd school, I literally wrote 85% of my dissertation at a Starbucks, somehow it worked for me. I've gotten much better about being able to work at home, but I never used to be able to. I also think this organizational stuff is so good. I think putting everything in your calendar, or using a paper calendar, or whatever might work for you is necessary. I put deadlines in, and I also put the along the way deadlines - when is the paper due? What are the parts of it that I need to do along the way? Setting those deadlines and figuring out how to carve up your time. Are you someone who does better with setting a time (like 2 hours on this project) or a task (write the intro and start the lit review etc). Like, I would print out blank monthly calendars for the semester, and then put all my deadlines on them and post it on my wall so I could be checking in every week, and look ahead to things like those weeks where you have a paper and an exam and a project. So knowing where I'd have to get stuff done early (which is... not my forte).

For me, as well, medication has been a really crucial tool. I take Wellbutrin (for depression and the ADHD), guanfacine (which I take for Long Covid but happily is an ADHD med) and I have a prn stimulant which really does help. I don't take it every day, but when I really need to focus, it definitely helps.

A thing I've had to work really hard on is the cognitive flexibility of assessing as I go and adjusting. My brain can be really rigid, and realizing that things might work sometimes and might stop so I need to pay attention. And back to that whole, offering yourself some grace.

I really do recommend checking out what your campus has for both academic supports but also counseling. I spent years working in college counseling centers and let me tell you, I'd be DELIGHTED to have a grad student come in at the beginning of the semester to work on all of this stuff proactively! That's what they're there for!

Okay that's probably WAAAAY more than you wanted! I am so happy to be a support if you need one as well, feel free to message me if I can help in anyway!

Ok. How do you manage to write/work/have a PhD with ADHD? I'm about to go back to grad school and fully in the struggle. Truly, any tips appreciated!

Oh pal! I wish I had a better answer for you which is that I wasn’t working full time when I was writing a lot - I was either working part-time or in school! So now that I’m working full-time, I’m trying to figure out how to write something more than a vignette!

That being said, I have lots of strategies for managing a busy life with ADHD, so if those would be helpful, let me know!

Also congratulations on grad school!! What a huge accomplishment!! ❤️

[missmonsters2]

To Have A Home

(not my gif)

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: Months and months of radio silence from Natasha. You think you've broken her heart. But sometimes, people just need time to make their way back. After all, Natasha should know she has a home with you.

Warnings: f u c k i n g s o f t. Could pertain BW movie spoilers. Also unbeta'd.

Note: Well I miss this woman so much I think I cry myself to sleep every night so there's that. Let the soft angst and hurt/comfort fics begin 😌

Prompt: "If you don't know where to go, you can always come here."

Count: ~2.6k

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The Avengers have split up. Anyone who's a fugitive is laying low on their own terms.

You never thought the Accords could do this to a group of people who've risked their lives over and over to save earth from total decimation. On the one hand, you understood where Tony came from, but you had understood Steve as well.

It'd probably be hard to worry about property destruction and country lines if there was no earth at all.

Either way, you had managed to remain neutral in the split—purposely. And you did that so you could help others behind the scene, off-the-radar.

You had properties located throughout America and a few internationally. You had been fortunate to inherit a lot of places from your grandfather. Along with Ross, Tony and his team had tried to raid a couple of your places in America or stake them out to see if they could catch anyone.

But you have a good lawyer, and there wasn't any good enough reason to approve a warrant against your places. You hadn't been impressed with Tony, and the way he avoided your eyes told him that hadn't been what he wanted to do either but had no choice.

In the end, you were semi-retired as a hero, left to your own devices. You're pretty sure Wanda and Vision are living in one of your properties in Europe. You hear from them maybe every two weeks to a month when Wanda travels outside the city to mail you letters.

You hear from Steve often. He has your number memorized every time he gets a new burner phone. He's always on the move, going from hotel-to-hotel, or safehouse to safehouse. There's the odd time he'll get to stay in one of your properties. You no longer really worry when you get the notifications that someone has broken into one of your places. You just turn off the alarm when you do because it's always Steve, Bucky, and Sam.

The only person you haven't heard from is Natasha.

Radio silence from the person you want to hear from the most. If that doesn't make your heart feel like it's in a never-ending fall, you don't know what does.

You wonder if it's your fault because you had refused to run with her when the time came to split. Deep down, you're sure you both knew what you had chosen was better for the team as a whole.

But you often wonder if that choice had made Natasha feel alone. Had Natasha felt you abandoned her?

You swallow thickly as you lie in your bed. You wished Steve had more time to chat with you on the phone, but he only had a couple of minutes because they needed to get on the move again.

Closing your eyes, you took in a deep breath before exhaling. You resolved to get some sleep.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The edge of consciousness tickles your brain, moving to your eyelids. You let out a dry hum, wondering if you can stave off the need for water to fall back asleep.

But when your throat is so dry, you feel like you might choke when you breathe. You let out a soft sigh as you begin to open your eyes.

Your breath hitches immediately. Waves of red tresses come into view.

Natasha Romanoff was in your bed, asleep.

It has been months since you've seen her. Her hair has grown out, and she looks...tired.

A part of you feels like you might be dreaming. Maybe all that pent up yearning has you hallucinating.

You don't move; a part of you is scared that if you did, she'd disappear. You try to just stare at her peacefully, taking in her features slowly. The back of your eyes starts to burn along with your throat.

You're not sure why.

Suddenly, Natasha opens her eyes.

Those viridian eyes have always enraptured you. Natasha is a complex person, as are most people, but she's the master of manipulation. She has the art of deceit down to a perfect point.

Natasha is an open person, but only because she wants you to see what she feels. Steve had tried to explain it once when he was on the run on Natasha. He said that while he knew her and trusted her, he would never fully know her. He would take a bullet for her, but Clint may be the only person who knows Natasha.

But as she lies there staring at you, and you can see every speck of colours in her eyes, you think you might've just seen her soul.

Natasha was lying in your bed after months of radio silence, baring her soul to you.

And the only thing you would ever do is accept it.

You rush forward, pressing your lips against hers. Her lips are still a little cool, an indication she might've slipped in pretty recently.

Natasha lets out a choked whimper at your touch. Kisses...had never happened before. Natasha wasn't sure what had really held her back from wanting you. Maybe because you're too good for her.

Sometimes it scares Natasha to want things so badly. She can't quite explain it. She knows she's allowed to want things, allowed to have good things.

But when it comes to you, everything is always too much. Too much wanting and wanting everything.

Natasha pulls you closer until she can feel the heat of your body against hers—until she can feel the soft skin of your exposed hip.

"'m sorry," Natasha mumbles continuously between kisses because now that she's had them, she wants it all. See? It's always too much with you. "m sorry."

You feel lightheaded every time Natasha's lips press against yours. Each kiss gets more intimate, and you can start to taste the toothpaste on her tongue.

All you can think about is that she's real. Natasha is really here. She's here, and you're kissing her.

She's kissing back.

"Why are you sorry?" You mumble when you pull back to breathe.

It's still dark out, the moonlight illuminating your room. You stroke Natasha's cheek for just a second, watching the redhead's eyes flutter before you sit up and turn over to grab the glass of water on your nightstand.

Natasha sits up with you, suddenly feeling exposed as the blanket falls off her body.

"Why shouldn't I be sorry?" Natasha asks quietly as she watches you take a sip of water, momentarily jealous of your glass. "I...ghosted you. For months."

You put the glass back down, feeling better now that your throat isn't so dry. The water helps you wake up a little too. You turn back to Natasha and let your eyes relax.

Natasha looks so soft with a braid still in her hair.

"We all have our own ways to deal with the fallout," you tell her softly. "It must've been hard for you. Steve has Bucky and Sam, Wanda has Vision, and Clint has his family. You should've had me but I chose to stay here."

Natasha swallows hard because she did understand your choice. She really did. The choice had saved her ass a couple of times when she needed a hideout.

But there was a certain truth to your words. She was alone, and as much as Natasha has tried to say she's better off alone, she wants her family. Natasha wants you.

Which was why went shit hit the fan, the only place—the only place she could think of returning to was you.

"I'm sorry," Natasha is only a little horrified when she feels the familiar burn in the back of her eyes and the tears that welled up. "I haven't reached out to you at all and then I just showed up here."

Natasha could say that she didn't know where else to go, but that would be a lie. She's a resourceful person, so she always has somewhere to go. But she wanted to be where you were.

You lean closer, letting your fingers caress her collarbone before they move up to cup the back of her neck as you pull her in for a chaste kiss.

"Not that this is ever an issue for you, but if you don't know where to go, you can always come here," you mumble against her lips. "Even if you had a million other places to go, you can always come here."

Natasha does say anything, merely pressing forward for another sweet kiss. This was going to make her greedy. Being greedy made it hard to be a hero because the hero should always be ready to make sacrifices.

Natasha bargains that maybe she'll let herself live and die for one person.

"How'd you get in here, anyway?" You ask. "My home has security features that rival Stark’s."

Giving you an endearing smile, Natasha presses another kiss to your lips. "Oh, honey..."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The next morning, you stretch in bed, noting that you were alone again.

A part of you had felt a jolt that maybe Natasha was gone again. You had been prepared for that possibility.

But when you hear some clanking in your kitchen, you smile. You put on a shirt and some shorts before you walk out.

Natasha is fumbling around, cooking eggs and pancakes, it seems. She's diligently watching the food, and you think the entire thing is so...strange. And endearing.

There was a fugitive in your kitchen. A fugitive who was a highly trained assassin, and she was cooking breakfast for you.

"Wait until all the bubbles have popped and there are holes..." Natasha mumbles to herself, and you press your hand to your mouth, trying to not laugh.

"I see the time alone has made you a better cook," you comment, and Natasha turns without surprise.

She's pouting at you before she turns back to her task. "Don't distract me."

You lightly chuckle as you walk over to join her, grabbing an extra spatula. "Since you're doing such an amazing job on the pancakes, I'll watch the eggs. Where's the bacon?"

There was a moment of silence.

"Too hard."

You bite your lip to stop any laughter from coming out as you go to the fridge to get out the bacon.

The morning passes by peacefully, a rarity to have as you sit with Natasha on your couch, mindlessly playing something in the background.

"I have to leave again soon," Natasha tells you quietly.

You feel a sting hit the back of your throat.

Natasha reaches under your couch into the safe spot you have built under there. She pulls out a bundle of vials with some sort of red liquid or powder in them.

"I was attacked last night," Natasha confesses, and you feel your breath hitch with worry.

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" You frowned.

Natasha gives you a wry smile. "I preferred kissing and touching you."

You try to not let your body surrender to the heat of the memories. You clear your throat as you point to the vials.

"So, what is that?" You ask instead.

Natasha shrugs. "I don't know. It was sent to me."

"By who?"

Natasha doesn't answer at first. She pulls a folded paper out from the middle before unfolding it.

You get a glance at it and realize it's photos from a photobooth. Two little girls, one blonde, one with red hair and blue dye.

Your gaze wanders back to Natasha, who is staring at the photo somewhat listlessly.

Too many emotions to try to decipher.

"My little sister," Natasha finally says quietly as if she could still take the words back if she wanted to.

Of all the things you do know about Natasha, it's that she doesn't have any biological family, or at least doesn't know them.

You stare at the photo and know instantly the one with blue dye must be Natasha. The red underneath was her natural hair colour. The blonde must be the one Natasha is referring to.

"I don't know why she would send me this..." Natasha shook her head with a puff of breath. "Almost got my ass kicked keeping it safe and I don't even know what it is."

You carefully wrap your arm around Natasha, happy that she leans into your touch. "We'll figure it out, Nat."

"We?" Natasha tries to tease, but you could see the hope in her eyes. Hope along with an effort to smother it down.

You wonder how no one knows Natasha.

All you had to do was really look into her eyes. All you had to do was love her, and she would open her eyes to you. But you suppose no one is more obsessed with looking into her eyes more than you.

"You think you can just break into my home, kiss and debauch me before leaving? Take responsibility, Romanoff. You've never shirked away from accountability before," you quirk your eyebrows at her, and Natasha can't help the smile that blooms on her face as she laughs with a shake of her head.

"What about being neutral? About remaining here for the others?" She asks after.

You shrug. "Everyone who was Team Cap is welcomed to enter my properties as long as they're discreet. I can write to Wanda and let her know I'll be off for a while. I think Steve would be happier if I came with you. Being neutral as long as I have has already paid off and served its purpose."

You move your fingers around her to play with the ends of her hair.

"We both did what we had to do, Nat. But don't leave me behind now. I'm alone too."

The words make Natasha burn.

She lets the bundle of vials fall carefully on the couch between them as Natasha lets her lips fall upon yours. She's probably never going to get sick of your lips. She must've kissed it at least a thousand times since last night.

"I know I'm not supposed to but I think I've made a home in you," Natasha admits, and you smile as you nudge her nose with yours.

"That's perfect," you tell her. "No matter if you know or don't know where to go, I can always be with you."

Natasha sucks in her bottom lip, biting it slowly as she smiles.

They should really pack up and go. They might get attacked again here if they don't leave soon.

"Can you tell me her name? Before we meet her?" You ask.

Natasha peers down at the old photo, feeling something she can't explain in her chest as she gazes at it.

"Yelena."

"Yelena," you mutter back as if testing the name. "Pretty name like you. Hopefully she's a better cook, though."

Natasha scoffs and gives you a mock glare.

"The pancakes were delicious," she tries to not pout again.

You nod, kissing Natasha's nose before you get up to grab your ready-to-run bag. "Yes, they were," you agreed. "I was impressed by your initiative to throw in the blueberries."

Natasha doesn't say anything, merely sticking her tongue out at you as you prepare everything for them. Natasha's only job is to find a way to get to Budapest without anyone knowing.

She sneaks a glance at you.

Natasha isn't excited to confront parts of her past, and she doesn't know what meeting up with Yelena will be like. But she has you, and as long as she has you, Natasha knows she has a home no matter what choices she makes and no matter what she's done.

It's more than enough, probably more than she deserves. But she'll hang onto you for as long as you'll let her—until she's forced to let go.

[tothemeadow]

I haven't seen much people requesting for snake bby so obanai x demon reader pls?Reader is like a succubus type of demon and when sent on a mission to kill her he falls into her clutches and it ends with smut 👀

‘in my dreams’ / Iguro O. x Reader

PLEASE STOP SLEEPING ON THIS MAN

warnings: NSFW, Obanai is a boob man, dream fucking?

words: 2,793

(a/n): I might’ve gotten carried away a bit

-

He’s always heard that sharks can smell blood on the water.

He isn’t a stranger to blood himself, used to the sightly images of gore and the rancid odor. It’s simply another part of his hellish life, bearing witness to mutilated remains of bodies and hunting down their killer.

It’s all in a day’s work.

It’s strange, though, when there aren’t any bodies to be found. Rumors of disappearances plague the night, travel from lips to ears, slowly spreading throughout the small town.

Takahashi’s daughter disappeared last night.

The doctor’s oldest son? Haven’t you heard? He’s gone.

For such a large number of people to be suddenly up and vanishing, it’s no wonder concerns have risen. It’s why Obanai’s here in the first place, determined to sniff out the culprit and promptly execute them. He’s dealt with similar cases before – finding the missing persons, only to find their remains or couple of bones – but this time… Well, it’s weird, to say the least. Not one person in this town knows where anybody could be, no strange sightings or feelings, nothing.

And, if Obanai is going to be completely honest, it’s infuriating as hell.

He’s not a patient person in the slightest. Perhaps that’s his curse and the sole reason why this case isn’t going anywhere; still, with the lingering danger hanging over these poor people’s heads, he needs to end this quickly. And so, cooped up in a small room at the town’s inn, he pours over his scribbling of notes, wondering just what kind of force he’s dealing with.

A demon’s nature can vary, depending on what kind you encounter. Obanai’s had his fair share of strange interactions – whether it be demons with multiple arms, pygmies, the facial features of a fly - he's nearly seen at all. But to take victims without leaving a single trace? That's where things get complicated.

"Dammit," Obanai grumbles, dragging a hand over his face. Kaburamaru flicks his tongue in concern, sensing his owner's unease.

This isn't going anywhere. The amount of time or effort spent trying to figure out where everyone has vanished isn't amounting to anything. How could this be? Obanai isn't some low level slayer, for gods' sakes - he's a Pillar. It shouldn't be this hard to put two and two together, yet here he is, staring blankly at his collected information. The idea of sending his crow to summon for help crosses his mind, but he hastily throws away the thought. No, that's not how this is done. He isn't willing to give up so easily.

As the hours drag further into the night, Obanai grows restless, twitchy. His striped haori sits to the side, folded neatly along with the shirt and overcoat of his uniform. Kaburamaru is already fast asleep, coiled into a tight circle at the edge of the futon. The wooden hatches of the window hang open, the night breeze drifting into the room with the sound of a singular solemn cricket.

A long, ornate kiseru dangles between his spindly fingers; it’s a rare occasion whenever Obanai smokes, so much to the point that the ones closest to him don’t even know he possesses such a fine pipe. He takes a slow drag as his he stares up at the moonlit clouds, the chilled breeze whipping the choppy strands of his hair against his bared cheeks. He wonders, truly, just how the hell he’s supposed to get to the bottom of this case if he can’t find anything to work with.

Perhaps the gods heard his woes - or he’s finally lost his mind - for an intoxicatingly sweet scent fills his senses.

Jasmine.

As far as Obanai knows, he hasn’t seen any jasmine plants when he came into town. This had to mean something - it had to. Opting his kiseru for his blade instead, he easily slips out the window, feet hitting the ground without a sound. Taking off into the night, he races through the town’s streets, eyes darting back and forth for anything out of the usual.

He comes to an abrupt stop when the scent of jasmine grows even stronger. He’s sure now that whatever he’s been looking for is here. A slight shuffling catches his attention; whipping his head to the side, a wooden hatch to a window bangs against the side of a house, but there’s no one to be seen on the other side. 

“Found you,” Obanai breathes.

Rushing over to the house, he drops into a crouch as he creeps closer to the window. Jasmine floods his senses, the irresistible aroma gripping onto his consciousness and practically demanding for him to come closer. Swallowing thickly, he ignores the sudden wave of heat flushing over his body as he peeks into the darkened room. A family of five lays on the floor, their bodies moving gently with the deepened breathing of a heavy slumber. Even now, Obanai has to resist the urge to shut his eyes and succumb to the flowery scent.

Although the room is dark, he can make out a strange pillar of smoke; ah, so that’s where the origin of the smell is coming from. Is it some type of mist demon? Flower? He isn’t entirely sure, but he doesn’t have the time to care. He needs to get rid of it now.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he unsheathes his blade, not wanting to attract attention to him yet. It’s a wish in vain, though; as soon as his blade is hanging in the air, the pillar of smoke rushes towards him, slamming into him and sending him flying. Obanai grunts as his back hits the ground, the sharp edge of rocks biting into the skin.

“Don’t you know that it’s rude to sneak up on others?” a low, creamy voice drawls. Goosebumps break out across the surface of Obanai’s skin and a shiver races down his back. The smoke dissipates, then, revealing a feminine figure.

Obanai’s breath catches in his throat. This demon - you - are unlike any other he’s encountered. Immediately, his eyes latch onto the pair of horns protruding from your skull, pearly at the tip and then fading into ebony. You’re strikingly beautiful, facial features soft yet demanding. Embarrassment warms Obanai’s face as his eyes drift across the curves of your body; your breasts swell over the tight, strappy top while the entirety of your legs and hips frame the long loincloth-like garment between your legs. Both your arms and legs have the same pearly sheen towards the end, just like your horns.

By the gods, you’re ethereal, even if the claws on your fingers could easily tear Obanai’s throat out.

“So is breaking into other’s homes,” Obanai manages to croak. Bringing himself to a stand, he takes a defensive stance, his blade held out before him. He feels strangely heavy, almost like his body craves to stay flat on his back.

Much to his surprise, you pout at him, arms crossing beneath your chest and pushing your breasts further up. “But it gets so lonely at night, you know?” you say, that seductive lilt in your voice deepening. At that, you make a show of sweeping your eyes over Obanai’s bare torso, and a slight smile grows on your pretty lips.

Obanai clears his throat. He can’t let himself fall for your tricks, no matter how incredible you smell or alluring you look. If these are the methods you rely on, chances are you’re a weaker demon.

“What did you do with the missing persons?” he asks, eyes narrowing.

“Missing persons? Is that what they’re calling them?” you say, a giggle following your words.

Obanai growls at your nonchalant confession. If there’s one thing he can’t stand about demons, it’s their inability of basic human emotion, the inability of compassion. Yeah, he decides that your head is going to look even better once it’s separated from your body.

“You see, pretty boy,” you purr, pressing a hand to your throat and dragging it downwards, brushing over a luscious breast and tracing over your exposed tummy, “in return for making their dreams come true, I get to have a snack.”

“Enough,” Obanai grunts, switching to an offensive stance. “Maybe I’ll be gracious enough to meet you in hell someday.”

Before you even have a chance to react, Obanai springs into action, launching himself off the group in a great leap, lungs tightening as he releases a breath form.

It doesn’t hit.

It doesn’t fucking hit.

In fact, you’re nowhere in sight. Instead of the dusty, moonlit road, Obanai finds himself in an onsen; a great bamboo pavilion stands tall above the pool of water, blocking the golden rays of sunshine from hitting him. Thin trees are scattered about the area, riddled with stone lanterns and garden rocks covered in moss. With a chorus of birds singing overhead, it’s like he’s in an entire new world.

Muttering to himself, Obanai scans his surroundings, wracking his brain and trying to figure just what the hell happened. One moment, he’s about to slice your head clean off and put an end to your terror -  the next, he’s in broad daylight in some overt paradise.

“Your dreams are beautiful,” that wonderful, wonderful voice of yours speaks.

Whirling around, Obanai sends splashes of water flying. “What did you do to me?” he spits.

You flash him a sly smile. “Why, I merely put you to sleep, pretty boy. Can’t be much of a threat if you’re not wide awake, no?”

Obanai curses under his breath. Of course you’re a dream demon - no wonder why there hasn’t been any bodies turning up. If only he had acted faster, got here sooner, more lives could’ve been saved. With a huff, he slithers further away from you, sinking below the water until only his face can be seen. “So what now? You’re going to try to kill me in my sleep? That’s a low blow and you know it.”

Sucking air through your teeth, you shake your head. Now that the two of you are no longer shrouded by darkness, Obanai really gets a good look of how utterly stunning you are. Again, he curses himself out, calling himself a fool for thinking such things when he should be killing you instead.

“Your blade isn’t here, if that’s what you’re wondering,” you tell him, a look of mischief crossing your features. “Silly boy - this a time meant for the two of us, not for you to end my forsaken life. Allow me to help you... relax.”

As you step to the edge of the onsen, Obanai finally notices the feeling of water caressing his thighs, his bare buttocks. You just had to make him naked in his dream, huh? What are you trying to accomplish, anyway? His eyes widen incredulously as your hands find their place on your torso, slinking over the swell of your breasts and around your neck; with a simple tug, your top comes loose. You merely let the garment fall to the rocks below, a small ‘oops’ slipping from our mouth.

Heat immediately floods to Obanai’s face and his groin; his insides squeeze in on themselves and he swallows thickly, thankful for the hidden protection the water provides. The look on your face is simply irresistible. Hell, even your breasts are as pretty as he imagined-

Shit, he inwardly curses, I shouldn’t be thinking like that.

But oh, you’re just so tempting, your hands squeezing your breasts, fingers rolling your hardening nipples as you stare directly at his flushed face. “Pretty boy,” you purr, “what’s your name?”

“Obanai.”

It’s out before he even knows it. 

“Obanai...” 

He really likes the way it rolls off your tongue, the dark glint in your eyes as you say it. Perhaps you can tell by his reaction alone - or maybe you like saying it - but you repeat his name, once, twice, thrice, and fuck does it drive Obanai insane. And then you’re reaching down, unfastening your lower garment and dropping it unceremoniously to the ground. Obanai’s cock twitches at the sight of your glorious body, the soft curves and glowing skin.

“Naughty boy, my eyes are up here,” you say. Again, you squeeze those beautiful fucking tits, a soft groan spilling from your lips. Obanai nearly goes feral from the sound; without further thought, he wades over to where you are. Jasmine clings in his nostrils, clouds his mind in a delicious haze, and he loves it.

You’re all too willing to meet his touch, body slipping into the heated water as he wraps his arms around you possessively. His body kicks into autopilot, mind going blank as he presses his lips to your throat. He should rip your throat out with his teeth, but there’s something magical about the way you arch into his touch, breasts pushing lewdly against his chest.

“Fucking-”

“Yes.”

A breathy moan spills from your lips as Obanai kneads your pretty tits, long fingers gripping possessively, wantingly. It’s almost ridiculous how hard he already is, his cock sandwiched between your bodies. He jolts as your hands land on his face, thumbs brushing against the ragged scars lining either sides of his mouth. 

“Don’t,” he grits, but it goes ignored. The air is sucked from his lungs as you brush your lips over his scars, murmuring something about how pretty he is before stopping at his mouth. You kiss him fervently, clawed fingers scratching his shoulders as you tongue the inside of his mouth. You swallow the husky groan that spills from his mouth, hand dropping down from his shoulder and wrapping around his hardening cock. 

“Ah, shit,” Obanai murmurs into your mouth. 

“Tell me what you want, pretty boy,” you whisper, hand slowly jerking on his cock. His breathing picks up as you quicken your pace, the water rippling with the movements of your wrists. “Your wish is my command.”

“Gods, you’re such a fucking tease,” he pants, eyes practically glowing against the pink hue of his face. Ducking his head, he sucks a nipple into his mouth, the wet warmth enveloping your breast and eliciting a delicious moan from you. Obanai wastes no more time, opting to prop you in his lap and pressing your back against a smooth stone. “I shouldn’t... but fuck...”

“It doesn’t seem like you’re angry with me anymore,” you husk in that damned sexy voice. A moan bubbles from your throat as Obanai starts rocking against you, cock slipping against your folds. It’ll only take a little push for him to fill that pretty cunt of yours, to stuff you full of his cock and fuck you raw. It’s what he wants.

“Shut up,” he grunts, mouth latching onto your nipple, his hand beginning to play with the other. A low, drawn out curse gets muffled by your chest as he finally slips his cock into you; it shouldn’t be physically possible, but your velvety walls seemingly clench around him and suck him in, your arousal making the slide impossibly easy. He hiccups on a breath, his entire body twitching as he pants. 

“The thing about succubi,” you drawl, sharp nails tracing down his spine, over the muscles in his back, “is that we’re the demons of sex and dreams. Oh, pretty baby, how much I’ve lucked out. Everyone else seemed like an appetizer - and you...” You pause, suck air between your teeth. “You’re like the damn main course.”

A helpless little grunt graces your ear as you fuck yourself on Obanai’s cock. His hips match your movements, your sopping cunt eagerly sucking him back in and squeezing around him. You’re so damn wet that it’s infuriating; Obanai wants more, more of your touch, your voice, that sweet scent clogging his senses. He can’t bring himself to stop touching your breasts, whether if it’s his hands or mouth. They bounce with the erratic rhythm of your hips, way too beautiful and hypnotizing. 

A breathless whine breaks through your cute little pants whenever Obanai smacks a hand against the ample flesh of your ass. “Is that you meant when you said you make others’ wishes come true? Have them fuck that tight pussy of yours? Huh?”

“Obanai, don’t be mean,” you pout. 

“Says a fucking demon that eats people.”

You hiss as his cockhead hits against your g-spot. “I can eat you too, so don’t get cocky, pretty boy.”

Obanai clicks his tongue, his brows furrowing. “You better keep that promise,” he grunts, thumb grazing your bottom lip. “I won’t take no for an answer.” He growls as your walls clench around him. 

“If that’s your wish, Master,” you purr, a slight chuckle following your words, “then it is my command.”

[lubdubsworld]

Blackberry Winters.

Part 1

Check part one for warnings 💔

Part 2.

Namjoon stared at his mother, her words registering but not quite sinking in. He blinked, a couple of times and swallowed dryly, trying to gather his wits that felt like they'd been scattered to the four winds. There was a dull ringing in his ear, a feeling of impending horror and he had to fight to bring himself back to the present.

"She is...?" He couldn't even say it. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realised the irony of it. It wasn't supposed to makes him feel that way. The reason he had taken her to bed was for this : a heir to take over the duties of the head alpha after him. And yet, he knew that he couldn't just ignore all the things that would come with having a pregnant mate. All the added responsibility.

At the heart of it , Namjoon was exhausted.

He had been trained for this position but it didn't make it any easier. His wolf yearned for solitude and serenity, peaceful quiet where he could contemplate life and all its mysteries but the duties and responsibilities kept piling up. He had no time to indulge in such whimsical fantasies. From daybreak to sundown, he drowned in problems that demanded solutions, issues that required his intervention and he was always giving so much of himself to so many.

It was as taking a toll.

And now here was the promise of another new soul. A pup. Fully dependant on him for survival. It was hard to be ecstatic.

" Why do you look so surprised? Have you not been sleeping with her?" She frowned, moving closer to the small wooden bench in the corner of the room. She sat down, primly adjusting the large swathes of her skirt. Even at her age, she was a beauty and despite being a widow, she was treated with great respect by all the wolves in the clan.

" I have... Of course...I just didn't expect her to ...so soon. " He muttered hesitantly. He made a quick calculation, Conceived at the end of autumn meant the child would be born at the end of summer. Rains and more rains. He would have to commission the weavers to make a lot of warm blankets and thick bedding for the babe. And make sure that all the birthing huts had their roofs mended. He felt an ache in his chest. He knew he had to have a heir. It was part of what he was responsible for. But he wasn't ready to be a father yet. Especially not with someone like her.

" You haven't been very subtle in your disdain for her, Joon. It makes me wonder of perhaps I have failed in teaching you the ways of a husband." His mother's sharp voice made him wince.

His parents had been deeply in love with each other. His mother had been an equal contributor in running the clan, his father's most trusted confidante. He couldn't imagine having something like that with the woman he had rather recklessly chained himself to for life. But he couldn't be openly defiant in front of his mother.

So he bowed.

" I've tried to talk to her mother. She looks at me like I'm some marauding villain."

Lady Kim scoffed.

" Because, for all she knows, you may as well be one. Think of who she is, how she was raised. Her mother died when she was eight and she has been keeping house for her father since then. It Is a miracle she knows how to read a few words and to write her own name. Old man Gong is unkind and cruel and I've only ever watched him treat her like an unruly dog that needed discipline and never like his own flesh and blood. She knows men to be cruel and powerful and capable of doing her great harm. Add to it your status as the head of the clan, of course she thinks you're dangerous. "

" am I to be blamed for her childhood now?"

" Don't be obtuse. That is not what I'm saying. I just want you to consider her upbringing, before you write her off as dramatic or hysterical. "

Namjoon sighed deeply.

" Alright, mother. I'll try to talk to her again. "

And he knew that he had to. If he wanted some semblance of peace in his life, he would have to make an effort with his wife.

----------------------------

Jiah sat by the haybale near the barn, cross-legged on the dirty floor as she watched Misu and Loshim, two of the stable boys tend to the horses. She stared at the careful way they brushed the large beasts, their tone gentle and soothing as they murmured reassurance to the agitated animals. She found it fascinating, how even an animal that powerful could feel fear and anxiety. It made her feel better about her own shortcomings.

From a very young age, she had known of her flaws. She was jittery, prone to cold sweats and breathing problems, easily frightened and absolutely terrified of confrontation of any kind. Her parents had been, to put it lightly, unkind. They had seen her as a burden, as something broken and useless and cumbersome and that had done nothing for her self esteem.

To make matters worse, they didn't let her attend lessons with the other omega girls, her education limited to scribbled writing on granite with chalk when her father was feeling bored or charitable. She could read a few words with difficulty . Could write her name out if you gave her some time and patience.

At first, her ignorance had been embarassing but over time she realised her education wouldn't serve her much purpose.

She thought of herself as something temporary and fleeting. Not meant to leave any lasting impression on the world. So it was alright if she didn't know what every other girl her age did. She was going to live and die in that hut near the boundary walls..... She would have no use for fancy words or exotic dances.

Or so she hd always believed.

So when the head alpha had asked for her hand in marriage, she had nearly passed out from her heart giving out.

Namjoon was seven years older, almost thirty winters old and she had only ever caught glimpses of him when he came to check on her father's watchpost occasionally. He was a tall man, strapping and intimidating with dragon eyes that glowed red. And one evening he had stopped by her side when she had been tending the beets and potatoes in the small vegetable garden out back.

He had stared at her for a few long minutes while she had sweated in nervousness and then he had promptly asked for her father. When the man had Stepped in and told her father that he was looking to make her his bride, the old man had been jubilant while Jiah had been confounded.

She hadn't wanted to say yes but she had been too much of a coward to say no. Besides, she didn't know if saying no would have any repurcussions....she didn't want to risk offending the literal head of the entire clan. What if they banished her? What would become of her then?

And so she had said yes. And here she was.

Mated to the man for life, her wolf connected to his and his mark on her neck and now....his child in her womb.

She felt the familiar stirring of panic, digging her nails into her palm to ground herself .

Jiah had long come to terms with the fact that her mind was not her friend. It sometimes tried to attack her , tried to make her feel irrational things. It convinced her that she was a bother, that she was useless, that she was a burden. It also tried to tell her that she was in danger, that she had to run and avoid and get away, even when she was perfectly safe.

When she had first come here as the head Alphas new wife, her brain had wrecked havoc on her senses. Had made her feel like a hunted animal, always cowering and hiding and trying to disappear . Namjoon had tried to be friendly, tried to be courteous and all she had done was hide and recoil, skin ice cold and words practically non existent. She hadn't said a word to him those first few days and even the bedding had been a nightmare, her entire body stiff as a board and she knew that he had probably felt like he was making love to a corpse.

She regretted it. Deeply. But there was not much she could do about it now. Besides she wasn't sure she even wanted to. It was obvious her husband's affections lay elsewhere. She had seen the way he looked at that courtesan. Had seen him sneak out for walks with her, had seen them huddled together in the room with all the scrolls and leather bound books.

Jisoo was a beautiful omega, well read and trained in musical arts. She played the gayageum and the flute, knew how to entertain guests with a perfect ceremonial dance and she was always at the helm of every festivity, dressed in vibrant fabrics and full of life.

She was also madly in love with Namjoon.

Jiah sighed, watching the horses paw at the dirty stable floor. She wanted to get to know her husband, yes. But she knew that even if she did, he would only find her wanting and inadequate in all ways.

And that was just not acceptable .

She maybe self aware when it came to her short comings but she also had her pride.

She would rather live like this. Tucked away like an embarassment, hidden like a dirty secret because then there would be no piercing gaze weighing her against her peers and declaring her broken.

Yes.

Pregnant or not, she wanted nothing to do with her husband.

------------------------

" Are you feeling well now?" Namjoon's voice startled her, eyes going wide as she looked around the resting quarters , gaze finally falling on the man standing near the large table on the side. Namjoon was bent over the rough oak surface , papers spread out in front of him, an oil lamp burning bright nearby, casting a sepia shadow on the man himself and she hesitated, debating the pros and cons of excusing herself to go see his mother instead. Maybe claiming a headache?

In the end she did neither, resolving to at least make an effort with this.

" I'm well, alpha. " She swallowed the lump in her throat. " I'm sorry for inconveniencing you. "

He straightened, turning around to look at her finally.

" Do you wish to move into another room?" He said briskly and she startled.

" Another room?"

" Now that you are with pup, there's no reason for us to keep sleeping together. I prefer having my own space. "

Jiah felt the blood rush through her ears. This shouldn't hurt but it did and she could feel the self loathing flood her senses. She stared down at herself, the lack of beauty and the utter lack of any kind of elegant upbringing. Of course he didn't want to stay with her any longer. What had she been thinking , agreeing to this farce of a mating?

" I... Alright. "

Namjoon turned away from her.

" Good. I've already arranged for all your things to be moved to the west wing , next to the gardens."

Far away from his rooms, Jiah thought bitterly. The sudden realization that Namjoon had been looking for some sort of brood mare and not a mate hit her . And it suddenly made sense that he hd picked her.

Someone easy to boss around.

Someone who wouldn't demand anything from him, loyalty or affection or attention .

And it irked her for some reason.

Why did he get to treat her that way? Why must she put up with it?

But she stayed quiet because she wasn't sure what to say.

" You can leave now, Jiah. " He said dismissively and she hesitated before stepping out of the room.

And she wondered if with her departure, someone else would be taking her place in his bed.

-----------------------------

Authors Note : would you guys like first person narrative or should I continue in third person? 👀

[monstas1ut2]

(1/2) Sanji Vinsmoke

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

DBSB, 3272, nigga, that's my potna dem

G-L-O-B-E, A-B-B, nigga, that's my potna dem

Softly touching up the edges, the orangish, red hair color was now apart of you. Just staring into the mirror as you let go a bit of a smile. The only time you smile when you look at a mirror is when you're staring at your face... any more inches down and it's like you could just puke.

"I like that color on you (y/n)!"

Glancing towards the phone that was on the sink , you just gave a kissing noise. The woman on the other side of the screen happened to have the same color hair, though hers was natural.

"Thats what's up Nami, it was a lotta money... but...Sanji brought it fa me..." You muttered that last part, still feeling bad about even talking about him.. It caused the female to sigh, she knew your problems.. and your issues that you face everyday. Nami is caring, as well as the other female who happened to be in the call. Robin, and Nami had always been on this agonizing journey..

Their bodies were beautiful, just perfect. While you, felt as if you'd be better off covering up with a jacket. It's bad, really... Sanji is your lover, you've accepted to live with him and yet you still cover yourself up anytime he's around. A jacket is always in arms length.

Once, Sanji almost walked in on you changing and in result in hating yourself.. you immediately threw the bedsheet over you. This obviously made Sanji feel some type of way but at the same time he respects you. As strong as you are, as much as you deal with just being a black woman.. he respects you...

Sanji hasn't touched you in any way, not sexually, nor in a domestic type way. His hands are always to himself.. as much as his insides hated it. All Sanji begs to do is touch and love on you. Alas, you overthink and wonder why Sanji is even with you..

"You neeed to tell him how you feel, (y/n)... the situation will only become worse... Your relationship is so strong that sex was never needed.. you're a beautiful woman... You're unique, and fun to be around... give it a chance, yes?" Robin's soft voice echoed slightly in your brain, just sighing out in retaliation. Nami's face showing that she definitely agreed.. but it's just not that simple..

You wish it was that simple.

"(Y/n)-swan~~~~ I'm home!"

A jolt rushed through you as the look you gave the two females happened to be a rushed one.

"Imma talk to y'all later Ight..?" You gently spoke before ending the call as quickly as you could. Moving from the bathroom and you grabbed your black jacket. It was quite huge on you and it had 2pac's picture on the back of it, his name on the front. This jacket originally came from your brother, but you claimed it of course...

Throwing your phone on the bed, you gently walked into the hall and went downstairs. The house you both lived in was a dream. Sanji isn't a poor man... he has his own restaurant, and it rivals with Gordon Ramsey's restaurant... come on..

"Hey, you feelin' ight..?" You gently spoke as you were finally off that last step. Your blonde man standing in front of the door as he blew some of the cigarette smoke. It was something you didn't mind.. the house was big so.. not everything smelt like it...

Though seeing your beautiful, slightly chubby face and your beautiful new colored hair made him die inside. His throat and lungs giving up on him as he choked and coughed. A huge blush rushing quickly to his cheeks and ears... Even now he just.. he gets all school girl on you.

"Babe! Babe! You Ight..!? Aye..." you kinda panicked actually, just softly touching his arm and moving to pat him on his back. The coughing fit he was having eventually surpassed and you were now holding onto his arm. His arm happened to be between your breasts.. he could feel it, he didn't need to see it..

Thing is, you didn't even realize...

"I'm fine.. it's just, you're so beautiful... I bought that right..? Glad that was a thing.." Sanji rambled off to himself as he then finally stared at you and chuckled. That genuine smile causing your insides to twist and turn.. your face was burning up, but your ancestors gave you the ability to not show the blood rushing to your cheeks..

"Oh.. you like it..? Thanks baby... thanks for buyin it fa me..." your voice soft as you got on your tippy toes and wrapped those arms around his neck.. well you tried.. he had to lean down a bit.. his lips connecting against yours and all you could taste was cigarette smoke, but it was this hint of sweetness.. probably from whatever he cooked today.. nevertheless, you were used to it.

The kiss was short like always, and Sanji didn't dare touch you. His hands weren't inching whatsoever, as much as he wanted to... he didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable.

"Oh, since you worked today, d'want me to make you sum to eat?... or.."

"Actually, I wanted us to go to my restaurant and eat... we haven't done that in awhile." Sanji's gentle smile and that shrug made you feel completely bad. The two of you rarely go anywhere together.. it's just that you hate the fact that Sanji has to go anywhere with you...

A little smile appeared on your face, it seemed a bit forced but as good as your acting skills were, it probably passed. Fidgeting on the heels of your feet, you kinda shrugged as well. The hoodie that you had on suddenly felt tight and honestly you hated it. Did you look huge in this too...?

"I-.. Ight.."

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

What in your right mind possessed you to say 'ight'?! Just flailing around in your walk in closet. As many clothes you had, as many outfits.. you never touched them. They collect dust every day. But that's nothing compared to what you were doing now, the clothes being scattered across the floor as you looked at your final option..

"I'm not goin..."

The words you spoke made your eyes kind of tear up, just staring at the soft, white dress. It was soft and it wasn't tight, but at the same time.. it clings to your skin. It shows every bump and curve. Not to mention how it had little slits on the side.. to show more of your thighs that were already showing... Nope.. just Nope..

Though another bomb was going to come rushing down, because how the hell were you going to tell Sanji..? What were you going to say? Jesus Christ...

Actually, there is this one thing... yes.. for sure..

"Yeah... it just started... can you get me them pills in the cabinet? Ion wanna move... we can literally go next week though.." you gently spoke when you were now in front of Sanji in the bedroom.

It was odd, just a few hours ago you were perfectly fine... not to mention how your period just went off a week ago. The blonde keeps notice of these things, he's not a dumb male who doesn't pay attention to his girlfriend. He's only collecting notes, he'll go with your maze run for now.. but in the end.. he'll find the way.

"So.. you're just up for me makin somethin..? I can teach you the gumbo you wanted to learn..." you gently spoke, only because the atmosphere was kind of tense? Or maybe it was just you... Sanji was laying on his back and he was smoking like usual.. but it seemed like he was thinking hard about something.. and it made you want to go shit.

Have he finally had enough..?

"I thought you'd never ask (y/n)-Chan" Sanji gently purred with those same hearts in his eyes as he decided to follow you out the bedroom and to the kitchen. There was some things Sanji just didn't know how to make. Yes he's an amazing chef and you're sure he'll get this in one go.. but he doesn't know much about.. let's say : black people dishes.

You've just been teaching him about the wide range of things.. and he's been having a blast. As well as being enamored with your aave...

Sanji just loves being with you... didn't matter what it was.. he's obsessed with you, even though his touch is limited..

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

The night had already been here, though it was now 11 pm, the house being ripped of all its lights that were on. Sanji made sure everything was cleaned up because it wasn't a surprise that you were knocked out in bed already. His own attire consisted of just his underwear... which you didn't mind but that's probably because you wore that jacket to sleep every night..

Sanji snapped out of his thoughts and he noticed the light to your closet as was still on. His body maneuvering over to go inside and turn it off.. though.. the mountain of clothes restricted him. His eyes widening as the cigarette from his mouth had dropped ever so gently to the floor.

The closet was a mess.

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ Masterlist 2

[beomglocks]

in the morning ; k.th

summary : taehyun tries to keep you safe from the world’s wandering eyes.

pairing : yandere!taehyun x “captive” s/o!reader

warnings & other : angst (?), blood, there’s a dead person, yes the body is described (not in too much detail), enclosed spaces, dehumanization (?), honestly ignore the title i didnt know what to call this

w/c : 1.7k

your bedroom door creaks open allowing a sliver of light to shine onto your bed and down on to your face. you scrunch your face in frustration but merely turn over to face the wall to continue your peaceful slumber.

a finger pokes at your face annoyingly and you swat at it to leave you alone. "my love, wake up," you hear someone whisper.

you groan but make no indications that you'll be listening to the annoying voice in your head. you feel something cold drift across your face and down your neck which makes you shiver. when you bring your hand up to your neck to pull it away, you flinch and sit up quickly.

"ow!" you inspect your hand which now has a large bleeding gash from gripping whatever was on your neck. now that you're semi fully awake, you look up to see taehyun. great, he's back from doing whatever it is he does at this godforsaken time. you wonder if it's a normal day when he's home but no- you know there's a reason why he's in your room right now.

"i wouldn't have gripped that like that if i were you," he snickers playfully. you look down at what he's holding and frown at him. "what...did you put a knife to my neck?" crazy bastard, you knew something would go wrong whenever he was within 10 centimeters of you.

"had to wake up the sleeping beauty somehow," he grins. his face immediately goes stony and he grabs your hand, looking at the aftermath of his actions. it scares you how quickly he could change his expression. sometimes you weren't sure how to act around him because you weren't sure how he would react.

"im sorry though, i'll clean it up right away." he quickly gets up and grabs some alcohol and tissues that are laying around, and rushes back to you.

"so no light today?" you ask quietly while he cleans the wound skillfully. he stays quiet for a moment and you're about to ask him the question again in case he didn't hear you but he soon speaks up.

"n-no not today.. i don't wanna be seen like this. it could scare you," he laughs dryly. he scrubs your hands with more haste now, afraid that you'll take initiative to turn on the lights.

you sigh. how considerate of him however it's not like you haven't seen him with blood splattered across his glass skin before. it wasn't out of the ordinary to see him like this after all. your room only has a tiny window above the bed and you couldn't even look out from it since it was too high. the only light that was available to you was the moonlight. unfortunely it didn't even reach far enough to shine down on taehyun to give you the luck of seeing him.

"when are you going to stop this?" you ask mostly to yourself. "i'll stop when it gets through people's heads that you're mine."

he grips your injured hand as the anger of what he had to witness today comes rushing back to his memories. "t-tae my hand," you wince.

he loosens his grip just a little bit, enough for you to not feel that much pain but obviously, it still hurts. god, you really wish he wasn't here right now.

"why...why did he- it's his fault you know. it's not like i wanted to kill him," he says. you can hear the anxiety in his voice and it makes you want to comfort him a little bit. only a small part of your brain feels bad for his current mental state but that's only because of how kind taehyun was to you way before well- this. somewhere in you, you hope that he will change but you know he's too far gone at this point.

"he had it coming though," taehyun smiles, looking down at your wound. "he should've known not to mess with other people's property." you clench your jaw at his words. it's unfortunate how taehyun doesn't see you as a human anymore, only an object for him to keep enclosed in a glass case, like some china doll.

"you're not entirely innocent y/n," he grits. he grips your hand purposely and you let a tear roll down your face now. "taehyun you're hurting me," you manage to choke out. he pouts mockingly at your plea.

"you hurt me and you hurt that guy i had to kill," he says in a matter of fact tone. "when he said hi you should've just kept your mouth shut but no you just had to make conversation and let him hug you like some-"

he cuts himself off before he can say something that he might have to force himself to apologize for later. you both sit in silence minus your ragged breaths mixed with his heavy ones.

"you killed him," he says simply. "what?" you breathe out. "you killed him y/n! if you had just focused on me like i focus on you then i wouldn't have been forced to kill him like i did."

"taehyun i-"

"go say sorry," he sighs. you look at him bewildered but it only takes you a moment to realize what he means. "taehyun," you sob. you don't want to say that you can't believe he brought a dead body home but the sad fact is that you can believe it. he mustve had no where to hide it once he was done. taehyun is not one to make empty threats. he chuckles, shaking his head, "go say sorry to your friend."

he tries to pull you from the bed but you cling onto the bedsheets, adamant about not moving. "what so now you don't want to give him the time of day? earlier you seemed just so over the damn moon speaking with him!" he shouts.

you shake your head frantically. you want to speak, to reason with him, but nothing comes out your mouth other than choked sobs. "don't be like that, it's for your own good. now let's go," he says.

this time he uses all his force to rip you from your hold on the bed. "my love...im gonna teach you something about respect," taehyun speaks lowly. his monotone voice sends chills throughout your frigid body. you kick and scream and punch his back, hoping that you can shake him enough to let you go but nothing you do phases him.

he walks through the house with you slung over his shoulder for about a minute before stopping in front of the jacket closet. he sets you down as gently as he can in front of it and you stare blankly at it, not ready to face whatever is inside.

"it goes both ways," he finishes. you hesitantly look up at him, finally seeing his face for the first time since earlier today. you flinch when you notice just how much blood is scattered over his face. the kill must've been brutal enough to send that many splatters of blood flying.

"don't look at me, look at him. don't be disrespectful," he says. when you turn back towards the closet you flinch harshly at the sight. the guy whom you spoke to earlier was now slumped over in your closet. you remember how lively he was when speaking to you but now his skin was completely drained of life and pale in color. his lips were dry, probably from trying to heave in air to try to live. you're afraid to further gaze at the body because the further down you go the worse it gets. so much so that it's practically dosed in blood.

"say it, say you're sorry!" he commands. you know that you're not really saying sorry to the dead man in your closet. taehyun wants you to say sorry to him. you know he couldn't care less about this man. he wants you to regret putting him in the position to kill another human being.

"i-im- im-" taehyun sucks teeth impatiently. "if you don't say it naturally i will lock you in here all night. i don't want to do that so you better do it right."

a noise leaves your throat when he shoves you closer to the body. you whine, trying your best to control your voice and tears. "i-" your voice gets weak but you use every bit of force in you to say it. you don't wanna risk having to stay in that closet all night.

"im sorry," you blurt. you hear taehyun chuckle behind you, satisfied for now. "was that so hard?"

"y/n you're mine and only mine. i feel so livid when others so much as look in your direction, do you understand?" he says calmly. you nod, already wanting to be back in your bed, under the covers, away from all of this.

you hear taehyun hum and suddenly you're shoved into the closet. it catches you so off guard that your body slams into the dead one. you yell in panic and scramble as far away from it as possible. "taehyun! w-what's going on?!" you call out.

the closet is so dark when it's closed that you can't even see anything. atleast you know you're not near the body. "y/n- i-i'm doing this because i love you ok?" he says uncertainly. "this way no one can look at you or talk to you and try to seduce you."

you bang on the door, your heart beating with each slam. "p-please let me out," you plead weakly. you already know that once taehyun has done something he doesn't change his mind so it's no use trying to reason. "i-im scared- please."

he stays silent for a moment and you're about to burst into tears again thinking that he's already left but he speaks up after a couple beats of contemplative silence.

"don't be scared ok y/n. you'll be fine. i'm going to come back for you in the morning." he goes silent again and all you can hear is your heavy breathing and wet sniffles. "please don't be too mad at me, i love you," you hear him whisper before you hear his footsteps retreat.

the night is spent without much sleep and your fist pounding at the closet door, hoping for an early release but it never comes.

[nuclearnerves]

INCOMING VAMPIRE AU THOUGHTS

Don't mind me I'm finally getting the ideas I had on this shit out so I can actually go forward with developing it as an AU. It's my usual mixup of fps protags, Gordon Guy and John, but I'm starting with Gordon as the Vampire and Guy as the Vampire Hunter.

absolute beast of a wall of text under the cut

What If Being A Vampire Literally Sucks All The Time Forever like chronic pain sucks. like THAT level of sucks. Like Here's what I was thinking of. Being a vampire isn't just "being alive forever but you need to drink human blood" It's like Oh man I have some lore you look at vampires and their main thing is that they're blood suckers right so lets start with a corpse dead body. cadaver. no longer with us. just some rotting meat. The brain needs oxygen as fuel. The blood supplies the oxygen through blood. The blood is pumped through the heart. The blood is made by your bone marrow. You die. Your heart stops beating Blood stops pumping Brain no longer has oxygen to think marrow stops making blood thats standard! Now, becoming undead, as a vampire, is a little more complicated. The long and short of it is: your body is FIGHTING ACTIVELY to be alive against all odds and wins every time (immortality), but it hurts the whole way

I have the gist of it. It's like. Your heart stops. By all means, you should be dead. but the magic kicks in, and you're still thinking. Your brain is still sending signals to your muscles to move. But using what oxygen to move? whats burning in you? You don't know but you know it's just enough to get to your next meal. So you ferociously eat something, and then find you can't swallow. You can't make saliva. You barely have the energy to chew, and once you DO get something in your stomach, it immediately comes back up. Why can't you feel your pulse? What's going on? You're out of options so you figure you might as well just lie down and die. You're too tired to keep going anyway. So you do, you lie down, and you close your eyes, and you quietly hope that death is as peaceful as sleep. You realize you've actually been moving around without breathing, which makes sense because you can barely flex your diaphragm for more than a shaky wheeze. How are you thinking with such little oxygen? But as you fade from consciousness, you can feel something in you, and it's so upset, it's crying, it's filled with grief, and you instantly can tell it's your skeleton. It's your bones. You're distraught down to your marrow. You're dying. You're dying! Your heart stopped and you have no more blood! You need blood! You need blood to move! To breathe! To think! You try to breath deep again for the voices in your bones, trying to comfort them, to sooth them with the repetitive motion in your lungs, trying to fill yourself with anything but grief, but they keep wailing. We make the blood, our creation, our child, what we put all of our work into is gone! gone! gone! We need it back! Anything! All of it! Find it! Bring it back to us! We're hungry! WE'RE HUNGRY!

and once you find yourself too exhausted to listen, to think, how badly you wish just to die already to cease hearing this wailing, you find your body moving without you. And it's hungry and it's searching and it's crawling on all fours and it misses its beautiful red life that made it feel so full before and it needs it back, and the next thing you know you're desperately grabbing anything with blood in it and shoving it in your mouth in a desperate attempt to sooth this cry for life, you don't want to die, you don't want to die, you worked so hard to keep up this body and craft it and LIVE with it and you're not going to go, and even when you try, even when you try to lay down and die, your body refuses, it takes the reigns, and it keeps up the work itself with or without your help. And it's not until your stomach is full and your teeth are stained and you feel a pulsating burning in your bones that you snap back awake, completely conscious, just fine. You're lucid, you don't feel any more pain. Everything around you is dead and drained and messy and your heart still isn't beating. but you can breathe now and holy shit you guess you literally need to kill to survive and the less you eat and the more you starve yourself the worse it gets when your body finally decides to take recourse.

my idea was like. "the vampires curse is actually stored in the bones, thats why the teeth get so sharp and also theres a connection between blood and bones with the creation via bone marrow" its literally like i was sitting there thinking "no no no, whats it like to be a vampire. what neurosis would you develop. How would you panic? What are common mistakes beginner vampires make" which, by the way, gordon is a beginner vampire

so now you gotta factor, what blood lasts for how long? how long can you go between meals? not only that, but what creatures satisfy the urge? How long can you go avoiding human blood? Does it work like drugs where you develop a resistance to the high, or is it like food where it will keep you moving until you eat again? How the fuck are you gonna get your hands on blood? Can you just eat raw meat? Does that count? and thats where im at lol

OKAY now. now thoughts on beginning scenes of vampire au

So my idea was this Doomguy is a vampire hunter independent and one of his buds says that some freak scared and almost attacked his daughter when she got too close to his old abandoned laboratory up the hill and hes like “he might be… you know… a problem. if you needed a lead” and guys like yeah i fuckin hate the undead ill kill this dude so he busts into old lab space and sees so many dead animals its actually mostly Bones and pelt that hes seeing piles of feathers etc so hes like yeah this is all telltale signs of vampire uhhh hes introduced to gordon SOMEHOW im not totally sure of the details but the working idea i have is guy falls into a trap gordon devised that restrains him suspended in wire or something and gordon like. limps/stumbles into the room and this dude looks haggard he’s breathing heavy, his cheeks are hollow, he’s bug-eyed and shaking while looking at this massive wall of meat in his trap and he bares a bunch of hideous teeth and grits them and looks like hes really struggling with somethin... Like if these dudes don't know each other then Gordon might give in and try to drain Guy, and Guy would absolutely do anything in his power to turn this new vampire into ash, im thinking the inclusion if g-man as a coven leader can fix both issues.

i like the idea of guy falling into gordons trap and gordon thinking about what to do with him before gman shows up and whisks gordon away for a “meeting” while complimenting him on his good work catching the most feared vampire hunter in the country and gman just leaving guy suspended in wires that he has to fight his way out of. Instant situation defuser.

Guy ends up needing to take care of other monsters before going back to Gordon, and he DOES plan to go back to gordon, because no vampire is a good one, especially not one associated with the fucking head of a coven, but next time he sees Gordon, Gordon helps him out of a scrape by attacking and draining a combine who was going to take Guy out or something and escaping before Guy can catch him, or otherwise seeing Gordon do something good with his insane undead powers and like, the third time he meets up with him is when they can actually talk, and Gordons fuckin SO haggard, he’s not even fighting back and he’s even going as far as to say “just make sure theres nothing of me left when you’re done, I don’t want anyone else getting hurt”

Side Note: Guy has a bunch of scarring on his body from dealing with vampires, cops, ghosts, werewolves, anything violent that kills people. I'm playing with the inkling of an idea that he has Divine Blood in him, so that any time something undead bites him or tries to drink his blood, it burns. We'll see.

Side Note 2: now i really like the idea of the combine actually being an organized faction of vampire hunters that are WICKED crooked and exploit people for all their worth in exchange for their “safety” when they kill a vampire They’re essentially loansharks and Guy fucking hates them and hates the name theyve given to vampire hunting

Side Note 3: You've probably noticed that I haven't said anything about John yet! He's in this too. His species is a surprise but I need to get to him later I have an idea for where he came from (Cortana too)

I still need a good reason for Guy to not instantly kill this vampire, if not it's just gonna be "Gordon Freeman escapes the countrys best vampire hunter like a seventh time" every time they meet and they end up being rivals. And it gives Guy enough time to look past the whole "undead monster" thing and start looking at the "Oh this dude figured out how to fight his ridiculous craving for blood in a way more humane than most and is actually staying out of peoples way and keeping to himself. Guess he's not that big of a threat but I still need to keep an eye on him in case he loses it. Turns out he's got a family (Probably Alyx, Eli, Issac and Barney) who's been lookin for him and cares about him as well, don't wanna hurt them". I like the idea of them ending up needing to team up to take out undead together.

And that's what I got so far!!!

[lovee-infected]

Macaroon anon I love you and how can I resist writing for such a great idea? I really wanted this piece to take place as Ciel was stuck in twst in my previous au but since I mentioned dorm leaders there it couldn't be really done...Rip

A twisted path ✨

~ Black butler x twisted wonderland ~

Feat : Mey-Rin , Bard & Finnian

Poor trio stay away in shock of not only his unexpectedly loud shout but also...eh...his appearance .  Are they wrong or does this guy really look similar to master Ciel...?

Coming conscious still with his eyes closed , he hears some sounds around him:" He dead ?-""No I don't think he is, his chest is still moving" "Anyway what's this body doing hear at Phantomhive's mansion? If he's been stabbed or something it's going to be troublesome," "Na I guess this dude's just been really drunk y'all. Also...what's with the clothes ? Could it be that he's somewhat of an actor from nearby theaters ?" "Aye? Since when are the designs this messed up...- I guess we'd better get rid of it before mister Sebastian returns, maybe burry hi-"

Riddle freaks out as he hears this idiots wanting to burry him alive and immediately wakes up screaming at them to stay away.

Riddle on the other hand gazes upon what he just faced: a red haired haired maiden wearing a pair of glasses, a yellow haired boy with green pupils and a rather buff man with a toothpick in his mouth staring at him. " Ah- He a'live ! Man ya gotcha be more careful with drinking," the buff man chuckles. Riddle suddenly feels highly unsafe: Who are these people? And where am I? He's read NRC's maps enough to know that such a building is surely not a part of it , come along it's weird people. Was he kidnapped while asleep...?He pulls up his staff and starts threatening them with it , wanting them to immediately introduce themselves and explain what he was doing here- wherever it was-

Finnian tries to calm him down with a soft smile and a friendly attitude, but Riddle is strong at his point: He wants answers.

When he sees them all trying to calm him down with no explanations he gets mad : "OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!"

...What ? Wait-maybe try again:"Off with your-Heads!" ...Why isn't it working? Riddle stays still, the magic collars have to be around their neck but- they are not...?? There must've been a mistake: " Off with your heads - Off with your HEADS - OFF WITH YOUR HEADS DAMN IT-"

Mey-Rin, Finnian and Bard stare at their angry guest shouting nonsense and getting as red as a tomato, what is wrong with this guy..?

Riddle is furious and confused , what's the matter ? Is his magic blocked the same as that time Beans day?  He doesn't know , and he doesn't like it

Riddle starts shouting at them asking what they've done to his magic and the poor guys just go...Huh ? Riddle keeps on getting redder and redder as if he's about to explode . He starts threatening them from reporting them to the head master to giving them to the official policies for kidnapping and neglecting his picture 

Finnian then decides that maybe it's better to leave him to mister Sebastian and so : Picking up a huge branch and a striking it to his head , savage

Riddle passes out immediately whoops- maybe Finnian should have been softer-

They stay there gazing upon their... masterpiece . Finnian might have even broken his skull - Good god , what should they do now ? They must wait until mister Sebastian arrives ; But where is he now ?

Feat : Suma & Agni

"Pssssssst- Agniii...I guess he finally woke u-" " M- my prince , y-you sure that it was a good idea too bring a total stranger out of nowhere to our home ? I'd greatly appreciate it if you be more ca-"

Argh...what is with all noises around him ? He's told Ruggie a million times not to let anyone in his room whole he's taking a nap even if it's gonna be the grim reaper ; what are these brats doing here?

Leona rambles under lips and with a push he's awake : " Oi , you'd better know that I don't like having my naps ruined,"

Suma gasps at the sight of him being finally awake and tries to offer his unwanted guest a welcome hug which Leona rejects- Poor Suma

Leona isn't yet realizing what actually is going on , from not knowing that this isn't his room to the fact that he's now at more than 100 years ago in a whole different world ; ironic

Leona orders them to take this annoying conversation out of his room just to face Agni's locked expression : "Your room...?"

Taking a better look , Leona finally gets that this probably isn't his room and these people surely aren't from NRC

Sounds get echoed through his brain and he feels a small ache inside it . He rubs his head ...why does everything feel so strange ? Something is different ... could it be that he's still sleepy or..? Wait a second - Why can't he shake his tail ?

He immediately looks back to see if he's sit on his own tail but faces a terrifying scene : There is no tail . Is it cut off ????

and a newer fact flashes his brain : There are no ears either . But then how can he still here the sounds ? "P-please don't be", he begs . His hands shake as he brings them up to touch both sides of his head ; wishing not to find what he is looking for . And they are ! Human ears !A mild shiver is sent down his neck and he rushes to the mirror on the other side of the room just to face this nightmare with his own two eyes

He stares at the mirror with his eyes wide open and mouth as if he is going to shout . No...

Oh...nevermind . He has to calm down ; it's nothing but another fancy dream . He'll soon wake up and these will be all gone . Leona tries closing his eyes and cursing , wanting to wake up to sanity when he opens them again

Surprise : Nothing's changes . Two crappy brats still staring at him . Agni is now a bit suspicious but Suma on the other hand is really motivated : " Ahh~! Sorry if it's strange to sleep in the streets and wake up in bed- I just saw you laying there in a death like slumber and couldn't help but to bring you along ! Also , haven't we met before ? I'm pretty sure that I've seen your face somewhere before... Don't you happen to be from India ? "

Agni is really stressed out and keeps warning the young boy : " My prince ! He's now all conscious and fine , then I'd lead him out of he-"

"Prince , huh ?" Leona wasn't ever really interested in visiting ally kingdoms back at his home town so he barely got to meet any other princes , hm but to think that this cherishing child is actually a prince...man , the world has really changed

But he has no time for such games now , he has to find Ruggie or anyone else who may lead him out this insanity and return him his ears and tail

He asks for where he is - else than Suma's mansion - and the answer doesn't really do any help either . Where on the bloody hell is London ? And if these people found him laying in the streets when the heck did he even get here ? Well , doesn't really matter now , but where is NRC ?

Suma and Agni probably don't know where NRC is and Dire Crowley ? Suma wonders if this guy was the one who fooled him to buy a sick elephant which died a week after in india , but Agni is sure that neither him nor his prince have ever met a single soul named this

Leona is getting more and more pissed off wasting time chatting with these idiots so he takes his way out , ignoring Suma's begs for him to stay for lunch at least

He freezes just at the second he opens the exit doors and gazes upon the streets : Horses? carriages ? 19th century's clothing ? How long have these people been stuck in this lack of technology?

He feels like he now really needs to make a phone call but searching his pockets he finds both of them empty...those brats stole my-

He was close to getting hit by a carriage when someone shouts at him with a : " OUT OF WAY YOU SON OF A-"

He is now ready to get in a fight but a sound cuts him off : " LEONAAAA HELLP-!!!!!!" , this extremely annoying sound...what the heck is he doing here and : WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL HAS HE DONE NOW !!!????

Feat : Lau & Ran-Mao

Business tip nu 1 : Always keep calm , even if you end up losing all your magic powers in the surface without the possibility of returning to your original form or knowing where in the damn world you are : K-e-e-p-c-a-l-m

Thankfully , Azul's dope nature avoids him from going crazy during his stay in this...non-Twisted wonderland world

He had heard of theories explaining the possibility of other world's existence ; countless ones indeed . But to end up in one of them without any preparations ? He wasn't planning on that

Well nevermind , that cannot be helped now . let's look for a better way

Lack of facility , cultural deprivation and severe corruption ; is this how humans are ? No wonder the sea witch called them Poor unfortunate souls...

Enough with these people , he must now ignore all other disadvantages and take a look into beneficial sides of it...If he has ended up here , in this world and into this spot of the city there must be something linked to magic nearby ; even if he's surrounded by all these foolish people who haven't ever even seen real magic by their own eyes

Just as he's looking around , something catches his attention : a strange smell . Thanks to his family he's pretty good at following smells to their source and knowing what exactly they are : it's the pungent smell of Opium

He follows the smoke to its source and arrives to a bunch of stares going underground . A board is place next to the stares with something written on it :  Opium Den

Azul isn't one to believe in superstitions but he is sometimes interested to take ambitious  steps ; life sometimes brings you worthy surprises

Entering the shop , someone slightly grabs his arm . He turns his head to face a young, beautiful lady pulling his sleeve softly , eyes empty of any emotions . Without saying a word , Ran-Mao grabs his hat and coat and Azul thanks her , seems like he took the right path

His vision got a bit blurred as must of the air is filled with smoke , not that he isn't used to such atmospheres

" Why welcome to my place , sir . How may we service you today~ ? " a sound says from other side of the room . Azul turns back to face the source of all these smoke holding that young lady from before close , could she be her right arm woman or something ? She seems pretty obedient for one , which is nice

Azul introduces himself and takes a seat . He isn't going to get to his main point at the very first seconds ; he needs to make sure that he's come to the right person . He introduces himself as a businessman from a far away city , came to explore more of business tactics here in London . He offers Lau a small chat toward that , wanting him to give him more information on business if possible and return , he'd be given similar information about Azul's home town

While being considerably great at it , Lau isn't really interested in wasting time talking about business , all he ever cares in some sort of entertainment in whatever he does . Still , he agrees of playing this fake role for a short time . Although he knows that Azul isn't here for this either...

A few minutes pass and they both know that Azul doesn't really care to know how much a pork costs and either is Lau , so takes a serious step himself : " I see you're a man of business , Mr . Azul . I wonder what I you may be able to offer me in return ," Azul clarifies that he would get interesting information if he gives Azul good ones ; everything is clear and equal . "Then , I'm afraid that I've got not much to offer ," Lau sighs , but a small smirks appears of his lips : "But what would you say about some tea ? And maybe a small talk ? "

Lau isn't like others out there and that's pretty recognizable to Azul , but it doesn't make him the right person to trust either . He is continuing this conversation in hope of Lau leading him to the right person he is looking for , someone worthy of a greater contract . Lau lets out a sad sigh feeling sorry that he can't do much help , but he knows that who may do : A well-known friend , serving years working as a right arm man . Talented , well cultured , big on all issues including business : "I'm sure that you'll like him ,"

Well perhaps this thing's starting to work out for him : " Then by all means , lead me to this mister you speak of , Mr. Lau~" "With all pleasure . Bring him his coat and hat , sister " , Lau orders . Pleasure is always his first priority , but nothing would ever break rules of a contract ; He gives , he receives . Even taking him to Sebastian is counted but , he's already thought of that . This young man seems quite entertaining and when he first stepped into his shop Lau was expecting him , a spacial guest

Lau doesn't really care about superstitions , but still enjoys his ambitious steps  . This guy had came to him just as expected and now , something about him tells Lau that getting him to Sebastian will bring him as well newer faces to meet...what an entertaining day it would be

Feat : Tanaka

Jamil is... about to lose his mind . Caught in a whole other world without a meaningful explanation of how he ended up here or why . Magic doesn't work and there is no certain way to scape this situation and make a return to NRC . But the worst thing about it remained certain : He is caught with Kalim

Why in the bloody hell does he always have to be hooked up with Kalim ? Parents forced him into it at childhood , headmaster orders to it at school and now , the world suddenly decides to abandon him together with Kalim ? If it's joke , that's a pretty lame one . Why does he have to live in the shadows of Kalim being the unworthy dorm leader ?

Now lost in the streets , not knowing where to go or who to contact , what a wonderful way to start a day

Kalim isn't liking it at all : dirty streets , loud and short tempered people , street fight and drunk men everywhere , the smell of death filling the air , this is horrible . Kalim is well aware of poverty and deprivation lasting for so long and even remaining until the very present day , but traveling back in time and space to face one of the most terrifying levels of it just isn't his thing . He feels sorry and odd at the same time : Is this how life behind of the walls of his royal castle looked like ? He wishes he could help it . He probably could if he was any linked to NRC right now

He keeps on telling Jamil how poor they look and wonder if there is a way to help...The world Kalim knows has elegant and colorful nights and days but this world...was all caught in a dead gray mist

Jamil doesn't say a word because he doesn't want to listen , Kalim can keep on daydreaming but he has to find a way back a.s.a.p . They can't leave Scarabia just on their own and everyone (including Kalim's Dad) must be really stressed out by now . He continues to look , but there isn't really anything helpful around them . People yelling at each other and smoking the shit out of themselves . Young ladies flirting as young men offer them a carriage ride and tourists staring at each and every building like they hadn't ever seen a place to live inside as if they've been living in a cave so far , huh

Jamil can no longer take it next to Kalim and eventually goes feral : " WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP !!?" He has no control over his words now , he's nervous , furious and freaked out . If he were to compare his mood to something similar he'd say the time he overblotted , just that he had his magic back then

Now Kalim as well gets into a fight with him . What the hell does this have to do with him ? Jamil has to calm down and be realistic unless they'll never find a way out ! Jamil states that if he grew up just enough to realize how terrible their current situation is , he would've had something better to do than showing mercy over some bunches of street rats

The two of them keep on arguing until someone cuts them of : " Hohoho young men ! What's with all these loud sounds ?"

They stop and turn back to face the source of this old , chill voice . Facing a tall , old man dressed in all black clothes which high-leveled servants would wear and a monocle , giving them a soft , calm smile

" Aa- nevermind grandps ! It wasn't like it seemed we were just talking ! Right Jamily ? " he says , putting a hand on Jamil's shoulder and giving a big , wide smile . "H-hey... don't call me that..." , Jamil doesn't like Kalim acting this chill ; but it is embarrassing to see that they actually called attention

"Hoho , better . Now tell me young men , could it be that you have a trouble ? You look awfully down ," Tanaka asks ; sounding just like a grandfather guiding his grandchildren

Kalim takes a look at Jamil , wondering if it's right to do what he's thinking of and Jamil in return , nods as a yes " Well sir , there you see we actually don't belong here yet to another-" Jamil cuts him off before he could mess the whole thing up : " -Another state , indeed ! We came here for some sort of a business trip and were supposed to be on our way back home by now but sadly , ran into thieves . Our families must be really worried for now and I doubt them being sure of us being hooked up here . We lost everything and have no way to contact anyone we know... only if someone nice enough could be found to help us with it right now ," Jamil dropped his head , trying to act as natural as possible . Kalim wants to remind him that this isn't right to lie someone who is trying to help them yet he wonders if he should let Jamil take care of this now , after all he was much of a worthier leader than him to be honest...

" That's so sad to hear dear boy , I'm sure that young master as well would've been really frustrated if he were here ," Tanaka replies . Oh ? Young master ?  Jamil is now interested . Wherever this man came from , it can't be somewhere cheap , Jamil could tell . Leading them to a mightier source would be a better thing than just laying in the streets waiting for some miracle to save them right ? " Young master , you say ? " Kalim asks . " On the second thought , how about me introducing you to my master ? You're not much older than him I suppose , he as well needs to have more friends like you good men  ," Tanaka says with a sweet smile . " That'll be so nice of you um , Mr...? " Jamil asks " Tanaka is fine young boys . And you? "  " Jamil Viper ," " Kalim al Asim ! Glad to meet you Tanaka sir ! " Kalim says , bringing his hand for Tanaka to shake . Tanaka shakes hands with both of them and Jamil decides to make the process a bit faster : " I look forward to meeting this young master you say , Mr. Tanaka . It's always great to meet more men of culture ," Jamil sneakers . " Then by all means , follow me young men ," Tanaka says . With a sound of pop and some smoke , the tall man shrinks into a chibi version : " Ho , ho , ho ," " What the-!!!" Kalim panicks , no magic and yet this dude can shrink all of a sudden huh ?

" Ho ho," chibi Tanaka says before turning back and going to another direction . " I guess we should follow him," Jamil says . Kalim agrees and then , they're both following the chibi old man to the Phantomhive's mansion . Unaware of the two eyes watching them all this time : " Hihihi ~ they're quite interesting ,"

Feat : Grell Sutcliff & Ronald Knox

"Come oooon Ronald~ Shake your lazy ass and bring her along already..." " Oi senpai , that's mean ! This one's quite heavy-" "JUST SHUT UP AND DO THAT ! Don't you know it's rude to question ladies too much ? " " F-fine then , but at least give me a hand ! Have you even checked if she's dead !? " Heavy ? Dead ? She...? Vil isn't born to be disrespected like this . AND NOT A SINGLE SOUL GETS TO PULL HIM BY LEG WHEN HE'S ASLEEP

Vil immediately starts shouting at the Blondie , threating him that he'll regret it if he doesn't let go of him now . Ronald and Grell almost have a heart attack at Vil's chicken like screech which makes them jump

Vil snads up and glares at the two shinigamis : A really ugly female like one all dressed in red and a small blondie brat which looks like...eh..Azul ? Well nevermind ; doesn't matter now

What should he begin with ? Where he is ? Who these potatoes are and how they didn't recognize him being the leader of Pomefiore ? How perky they were to move him while asleep like this and ruin fabric of his overly expensive unforms ? Too many things to do

" Ah you're too loud ! My ears...Such an unexpected shout to hear from a man this hot I'd say..." Grell giggles . Vil's eyes widen , well of course he is beautiful but to be praised like that ? Ew , this is more of a insult ...

Vil decides to ignore Grell and get to the main point : Who they were and what they wanted . Grell smirks before preparing to give a 5 hour long opera show of shinigamis' romance but Ronald locks him on that point : They are shinigamis , they collect souls of the death , they had grabbed Vil because he looked a bit like the woman they were just going to collect yet didn't pay enough of attention to notice that they made a mistake , so they can all leave since they've got nothing to do with each other

Just before Ronald could get away Vil grabs him by collar , asking where they've brought him to . Grell clears that they just moved him by 30-40 meters from where they found him so it can't be really counted as bringing him to somewhere . Vil refuses to believe , wherever he is , it's way further than Pomefiore dorm or even NRC's accessable area ; that can't be . Vil threatens them one more time : " You refuse to tell , you'll end up dealing with the headmaster ," Grell and Ronald probably don't know who the headmaster is but Grell tries to take advantage : "Aaa? Is he one into punishing type ?" Vil is slowly getting annoyed by how weird this red one sounds to him ; To be honest he acts like an impatient porn star or something...

That's it , he's calling Crowley but uh , where is his phone ? Did he lose it ? Impossible . He'll never forget such an important thing to bring along ... Did these brats dare to steal his pockets....!? Vil asks them to give his phone and wallet back : now " Sir , you may like to know that human money brings no good for us and also , I'm afraid that I don't really know what you may mean by phone? " Ronald mumbles (Remember that phone isn't yet invited at their time ). Why don't this guy just let them go take care of their business ?

Vil hates it when people dare opposing him and doesn't ever take that lightly...who do these two think they are ? " Where is Night Raven College , answer or you'll face unpleasant consequences..." Is Vil challenging Grell ? Then Grell's more than ready to see what this human may have up his slave to speak to a shinigami like this : " And what may the consequences be...?" Vil gets tired , a small spell and this red ass bitch would be nothing but a toad , " I tried to warn you , you should've listened..."

Ahem , hello ? Magic ? Why isn't it working ? " Pffffffftttt- Lmao are you high or something man ? You just woke up !You'll be a great actor though I swear- You can drown in all that nonsense ," Grell laughs . " Well then hottie , I'm afraid we've got to go , see you when it's your time ~ " Grell turns to leave but Vil grabs him by collar . No one is leaving until they explain what the actual heck is going on : this place , the magic , everything

Grell on the other hand enjoyed flirting , but can't take being acted to like this . He pushes Vil back and gives him a psychotic smile , bringing up his chainsaw : " Wouldn't it be amazing if I cut those rushy tongue of yours at once ? fewer words , more of a male charm ," "Oh ?" magic may not work here , but they're not all Vil has got , he can still give this bitch guy a lesson without them : " Oi you two , this isn't really gonna workout-" Ronald mumbles but it's too late now -

Feat : Undertaker

At least he wakes up to a more suitable scene , or it seems so - His body couldn't move freely inside of this cage-like space . Is this a cuffin...? He has experience with them from his freshman year but to end up in one of them again ? Could it be that Crowley is planning on another fancy event like their first time ? Boy , he didn't like it anyway . He knocks the door trying to open it but if seems too heavy to be moved . Damnit- , he hears footsteps from the outside : " Someone there ? Why can't I open this ??" A sudden screech from out and the door slides open : " Ah thank yoUWAHAAAA- !!" Idia screams at the sight of the creepy stranger's smile at him ; he wasn't expecting this . Also , this place doesn't look like the mirror hall ? Who is this guy and where is this place ??

" Hihihi you weren't that dead I see , why waking up so soon though~ ?" , Undertaker giggles in his playful tone . Idia needs too many things to be explained to him but he just doesn't have the time , Crewel will burn him in acid if he gets any late for his class again and he doesn't care how weird his current situation is , he has to go

He gets out of the coffin and rushes to the door but Undertaker stops him there telling him not to show up out there so carelessly , which clearly confuses Idia . " Your hair...It is quite fascinating that curses remain strong even as magic gets blocked..." Undertaker adds . Idia is used to people judging him for his family misfortune but this one seemed quite...odd . He decides to ignore it and leave

" ~ Okies then I warned you , but you'll end up needing a real cuffin in a few minutes pwahahaaa-" , Undertaker burts into laughter and Idia leaves

" creepy ass old ma-" , Idia nags slowly before freezing as someone screams really-loudly right into his ears " HAIR ON FIRE , HIS HAIR IS ON FIRE !!" Before Idia can notice what is going on he's gained tens of gazes to himself , why are these guys all dressed so strangely...

" M-mummy is that a monster ? I'm scared..." " Stay away from our children you hellish creature ! " Idia freezes , critiques coming one after one : Demon , monster , Satan , Death . One option left : Run

Idia now has to run for his life , this world just isn't his thing : not at all . Even if it weren't because of being chased by a group of angry humans , do you think that he could last for even one day in this old fashioned zone ? No technology , no phones , no robots , no gummy bears , no wifi- He'd read about how different the world was before the invention of media and couldn't explain how thankful he was to never have to handle a second in the past world because he wouldn't last there for more than an hour- well he wasn't right about never ending up there but , he was 100% right about not lasting for more than an hour

Now there , he is running like he never has , begging his feet to help him this time out of any other time . Angry people screaming and bringing fire and weapons to destroy the evil

He tries to contact any possible source for help but : No magic - no internet . RIP Idia

Meanwhile Undertaker is chilling at his shop , his mind running over the cursed boy and now listening to the sound of the frightened people because of him , how pathetic , If only he had agreed to hide his hair through a safer way...sigh he should have listened to advises coming from someone who has been living within humans for years by hiding his identity as a shinigami as as his eyes... " My my , humans aren't the only fragile creatures I see..." creation can seem disturbing to him sometimes , and that's the best part with it

Back to Idia , he is slowly running out of breath . Well maybe this is the point where he has to give up ? He has long lived as a loser , bastard , procrastinator and wasted almost each and every second of his life ; well perhaps except Ortho , that was a nice work of him . Wish he was here too say goodbye .  He isn't sure if his prayers would be accepted or not but it won't hurt trying : " Good gods who're told to be somewhere up there , I know that I wasn't best that I could be and I won't try to excuse my sins ; just please let it end fast, Ame- " he forgets his prayers as his guardian angel is standing just a few meters away from him ; oh have gods sent an identical twin - human version of Leona for him to be saved ? Well whatever now , he has no time if he's the original furry or not : "LEONAAAA HELLP-!!!!!!"

And yes , he is the original one ! He curses as he sees the population after Idia , what the hell is wrong with this world ? Idia hides behind his back and Leona tries to take control before they end up burning the two of them together : " You people , chill ," " Why you defending that creature ? He a a misfortune ! A demon !" others shout at this words in agreement . Leona laughs it off . He says that Idia is way too dumb for a demon and even if he is one , he's the type to scream his ass off when someone says "hi" . Idia doesn't know if Leona's defending him or not but he doesn't dare saying a word . Leona seems too busy dealing with the crowd and slowly , the argument topic switches from Idia to Leona ; who isn't afraid of punching some faces . The argument slowly takes over and no one (even Leona) realizes Idia sneaking into an alley saving his life . He feels a bit guilty for leaving Leona on his own but he'll be fine , hopefully

Thankfully the alley is deserted and he finally lays down to catch his breath , still panting heavily . He almost got killed today and can't get over it , but things were getting a bit comforting : "Meow~" several cats show up from the corners and Idia puts on a small smile . A white kittens comes closer and allows Idia to touch and comfort him . Idia wonders , how does their lives as a cat here feels ? do they as well get as scared as he was just now?  . A few minutes later when Idia -and his cats- were chilling someone steps closer to them  . Before Idia gets to run away , a tall , black and familiar face shows up and gives him a pretty calm smirk : " My my , I see you as well adore cats, could it be some part of our hellish natures ?"

"...J-Jade...?"

Feat : Ciel Phantomhive & Sebastian Michaelis

Let us be honest , it isn't going to be that bad for him , is it ? His current lifestyle at Valley of the thorns is nothing less than London's late 19th century , just maybe it had more of a natural theme . Well , no technology can be good news since he never really get used to it after all . London's atmosphere as well seem to be just his thing : Sometimes savage but calm , filled with tea parties and great ceremonies , an interesting back ground toward the royal family and in summary , Malleus's ideal theme

Well maybe except some things : 1) HORNS-ARE-GONE . His family treasure , the great heritage that proved him coming from the all great and respected Draconia family , now is gone 2) No need to mention that there is no sight of his fairy ears either- 3) Having his magic lost in this unknown world , he is now nothing different from a fragile human being , just as weak , just as empty , just as disgusting . Oh but our prince isn't totally left on his own here...

Unexpectedly , Phantomhive's mansion is serving a mysterious guest today , even though Ciel was against letting strangers inside the house . Sebastian insisted on being aware of the importance of hospitality as the Queen's watch dog , specially with special guests

Everything seems odd to Malleus , this world , this time , this people and...this master and butler . He is no fool , not even the foolishest of these humans would treat and cater strangers without wanting something in return , therefore he needs to keep his guard up . They shouldn't be aware of his actual identity even if they look deprived of any magic

Ciel is feeling awfully uncomfortable , who is this man ? And what the heck about him might have caught Sebastian's eyes ? This greedy demon wouldn't easily be impressed , so what could it be ?

Sebastian insists that it's how he should learn to treat everyone else if he's willing to be well remembered after death ; he pronounces the last word in a pretty deep , dark tone . Making it clear that how he'll finally die in a sarcastic way which teased Ciel

He decides not to have any argues with Sebastian on that point since he can act pretty cocky with stuff he gets stubborn over , so let's see what he's hiding up in sleeve this time . Though Ciel is suspicious of other stuff as well , this Mr... -whatever he is since he doesn't give them a name- looks like a pale - greenish version of Sebastian . Could he be another demon..?

Malleus refuses to give them a name due to possible risks , yet he has to admit that he's being taken care of properly . The room he's given isn't as big as the one in his castle , but is still considerable for something a stranger would be given . Other than that , anyone else he's met here so far seemed to be pretty chill , oh except this tiny child with a blindfold and he gets to be called young master ? He has to admit that he's impressed . To be in control of all this property when you aren't yet even tall enough to pick your favorite book from the shelf on your own

And there is another guy who is really...how to explain , is it some feeling of deja Vu or he really does look like Silver ? The guy is always talking to the snakes just as Silver talks to the birds and animals . If it weren't because of difference in eye color , perhaps Malleus wouldn't believe that he wasn't Sliver himself . " Your stay won't last much longer master , your friends are on their way here , says Donne ," Snake tells him . Malleus doesn't really know how to feel about him but his words comfort him for some reason...

Ciel says that he needs to check on the trio since they've been calling him all day so he heads to the front yard , leaving Sebastian and Malleus alone

Sebastian offers him some tea and Malleus of course sees no reason to refuse . Sebastian doesn't sit beside him because it's arrogant of servants to sit beside the guests , so he remains stood up . He doesn't bother starting a conversation with Malleus and he does know how to get him to speak . Malleus doesn't mind answering to...some of his questions . How he likes it here in London , if he needs anything else during his stay , but the last question made his eyes widen : Does he do feel any uncomfortable under the terms of not being able to use his powers ?

Malleus doesn't answer , he pretends that he didn't hear him and stares at the window . He is hoping it to help him ignore Sebastian , but what he sees isn't any better :  Isn't that... Rosehearts laying there...??

Malleus has to go , not only because of getting rid of Sebastian at this point but to also check on his ally if he's alright or not :  Did the butler know he too was here all the time ?

Sebastian just knows what was going on in his mind and wants  better answers . Malleus stands up to leave but Sebastian takes grabs his arm before he could do anything : " No need to rush . We still have a lot to talk about , Mr. Draconia ,"

♦♥♠♣

Note for Idia's part : I was actually planning on Idea having his hair as well gone because , well , no magic no hair ? But that seemed too unfair for him lol

[funtarou]

Wishes || Kuroo x Reader

The Second Part of "Plans" || Kuroo x Reader" fic

Second part is here and I hope it's decent or maybe satisfying enough. Like wise, I'm rusty and still trying to regain my writing zone. Also I haven't throughly slowly proof-read this so-- Also also ya know, like wise, how I depict Kuroo has no guarantee that it's the actual Canon Kuroo, ya know. But I'm tryna get a bit close-

Story Warning: Angst, Comfort/hurt?, Human emotions are weird okay. There's one Sexual action but not described specifically. Still just incase, 13 year old below minors do not interact.

Writing Warning: Bad English grammar and possible spelling mistakes and wrong use of words. English is not my first language and I'm still tryna get back in writing groove.

Read part 1 here

Kuroo Tetsurou never expect such a dirty play from life. He though all of the dark side in life for him has already ran out the moment his mom stormed out of their house when he was a kid. He though it was already enough the moment he heard his own older sister said she doesn't want anything to do with him. He though it was satisfying enough for life to see him bid farewell to his friends back at his old neightbourhood. Maybe he's still naive to think that he won't be affected by any games life would play him after the things he need to went through in his early childhood. Even after it already forced him to think more maturely in a young age, and developed a sort of social anxiety in those younger days, there just seems to be more and more things life had planned for him.

But after witnessing a near-death experience, Your near death experience, he wish life would let him off the Hook. Because it was just too much.

It has been 96 hours since you were hit by the bastard with the car who drives away the next second. And despite already being treated, you still haven't wake up. The doctor said you'll be fine despite the injuries, but might experience headaches when waking up. But on the matter of when, it was still uncertain. For now it's best to let you rest, let your brain process the shock from the hit.

96 hours, and Kuroo still stays by your side. Only leaving on occasion to get some supplies he needs to stay at your hospital room. He hasn't attend his classes for the past four days yet, but has someone he's on good-terms with (and has the same classes as him) to give him notes and stuff that was taught at those classes. Kenma occasionally stopped by to give him food and check up on your condition too. A few of your friends and family also came for the same reason for the past four days.

Even though his heart ache and yearns for you to open your eyes, to know for sure that you'll be okay, he always tries to maintained a cold head. Despite the lingering fear that stays at the back of his head and the image of your frail body being hit and thrown to the side of the road, he put up a strong front. to himself and to the people around him. He has been focusing on his studies despite not present in classes, still maintaining a proper diet and sleep schedule. Acting normal, and trying to think everything is fine now that he knew you're treated and is going to be okay. He cant just go in deep depresso espresso mode now while you're unconcious. Because he knew you'd be upset if you wake up and found out he hasn't been taking care of himself. Another thing he always keep in mind is, that he cant let this bump in life ruined his plans. Not to mention he's nearing graduation if he Ace his essays and IP. He can get a job soon, a well-paid one if he works hard enough. Soon enough he can buy you the things you always dream of getting ever since highschool. He can already imagined the beaming in your eyes when he give it to you, one day.

Yeah. This is just a bump in life. Everyone Will eventually experience it at Times. Nothing is perfect, but that doesn't mean he cant stop trying to reach his future plans with you.

As Kuroo was typing on his laptop, sitting beside your bed with one hand on top of your hand, he sensed a sudden movement. His eyes quickly shot up from the device to your laying figure. He stays quiet for a few seconds, that is before he can feel the sudden broken movements of your fingers in his once again. He stand up, putting the laptop aside before putting another hand on your hand that had moved. Eyes slightly wide in anticipation for your own to open.

"... (Y/n)?"

He whispered, not wanting to startle you. The movement on your hand in his owns slowly became stronger, until it managed to lightly close in to a half fist and open again. Your eyelids trembles lightly, making an effort to open. But when it does, your orbs slowly land on him. He cant help himself, as he feels his vision getting blurry with the unintentional tears gathering up.

"Hey love... How are you feeling...?"

He softly and slowly questions, letting you process your conditions as he notices your eyes roaming around as if trying to understand where you are. And then he sees your eyes roaming at his figure, at your conjoined hands. And for some reason, the way your eyes looked at him, the way it moved as if analyzing him and the way your hand slightly shifted in his soft grip, gave him a bad feeling under the relief.

And it seems like Kuroo's gut feeling has always been spot on. For the words you weakly utter next Made his heart drop.

"... W-Who... Who are you...?"

And he wish you were pranking him at that moment.

2 years since the incident.

The day when you woke up, Kuroo called the doctors to check up on you. After going through some tests, the doctor concluded that the impact and shock from the accident Made you lost a big part of your memories. Your family was called the same day to received the information.

Ever since that day, Kuroo has been trying to rush your memories back. He's taking it slow, not wanting to pressure you and the recovery of your memories. He's been really supportive and optimis on making you remember your family, your friends, your life style, hobbies, and him. Gladly you still remember and can manage most of the things you learned at your major, and you returned back to campus a few days after you woke up. Now you've successfully graduated with an average but good scores. Yet due to not remembering your passion, you're not quiet sure what career you want to take, up until now. You've only been doing part-time jobs and online shops. Everything still feels unfamiliar to your head, yet strangely familiar in your chest.

After getting out of the hospital, You agreed on still staying with Kuroo at your shared apartment. Kuroo also persuaded your family that it might make you remember faster on your latest life style. And in a way, he has a point. Most of the stuffs you supposely enjoy and most of the things you use in your routines is in the apartment. The things back at your family house are the old things you didn't use and left when you moved out for college. In the end you spend those two years living in the same roof with him, someone who people told you is your lover of some years now.

For the past 2 years also, Kuroo tried giving you your space. He restrict himself from kissing you everytime he sees you. He tries to hold back on smushing you againts his chest. He lets you choose where you wanted to sleep, either it be the guest room or your shared bedroom. If you're not comfortable with him hugging you, like how you two used to do everyday, he'll make a distance from your side of the bed or sleep on another place. Through those Times, be tries to done the deeds on his own, not with anyone else, without you knowing too. It's been hard for him to locked up all of his swelling feelings and affections for you, yet he doesn't want to overwhelmed you. Not until you remember him, or maybe, developed the same compassion feelings for him as your new self.

But it seems like you've caughed on his hidden desperation for you. And if there's a side of you that stays, it's your need to return the favor he has been giving you. Afterall, he's the most supportive person you've met ever since you woke up. The one who let you stay at the apartment despite not remembering him, the one that pays for all your need with his new found job, the one that's with you through the twisted road for you to remember the people you love and cherished. And so that night, you confronted him.

"Please let me help, Kuroo."

Despite the sting in his heart when hearing you call him with his last name, he cant hold himself back. Afterall, saying no to you feels so heavy for him to do.

You felt familiar under his touch, under his warmth. And whatever he did to your body, you always response accordingly. He knew every parts of your body, every beauty and insecurities. He knew what to do, because before the incident it's not like you two were playing holy-boy holy-girl in your relationship.

There's this momenterally serotonin he felt when being connected with you once again. Seeing your raw emotions of pleasure and your body doing the talking. It feels like everything was back like how it was. Everything was normal, back when you would know every part of him as much as he does, back when you utter the words of love as much as he does. But, he described the feeling as "momenterally" for a reason.

You two spend the night, cuddled againts each other, or could also be said him pulling you close out of habbit. But after experiencing one of the world's pleasure with you again, he really just need to be slapped with a sour something.

"Kuroo... I don't think I could keep pretending..."

Because deep in your heart, Kuroo Tetsurou is still a stranger in your foggy head. To your old self, your old memories, he would be the man of your dreams, the man you wish would spend forever with you. But now everything is different. You tried to find that passion within you for him, it's not like it's that hard because he was an attractive man. Despite all that, you come to realized it feels wrong. You knew, you've been knowing of how he loves you with all his beings and existence, while you only stays and manifested your love for him through a facade and a form of "Pity" for his desperate heart. It fills your chest with aching guilt, feeling as if you're using him at his more vulnurable mental and emotional state.

One could say you utter your next words on panic and quite irrantional thinking. Yet it felt right at the back of your head, to let him break free from the past. To let yourself break free. Because your little heart cant keep this game much longer.

Yet, He wish you would for a little longer.

4 years passed by.

The whispering noises of the audiences are audible through the whole building. Some excited whispers, some casual talks. They're all waiting for you, not to mention the spiky haired JVA member.

His head hang low, looking down at the ground. Hands remains restless, patting his neat suit here and there and occasionally being put in his pant's socket. Beside him was Kenma, putting a hand behind his back and soothing his best friend.

Minutes passed by, and finally the slow music started playing, silently announcing to the people in the building of your soon arrival. The flower girl appeared from the door first, your nephew dressed In beautiful frilly white dress with flowers decorating. Her Tiny hands throwing the pastel mix colored petals as she skipped her way down the aisle. Some of your relatives coo'ed at her cute attics while throwing the flowers. And then when your form is visible In the room, all eyes are on you. Dolled up beautifully in your long white wedding attire, a thin veil lightly covering your face. You walked down the aisle, a family member holding one of your arm, accompanying you to your soon to be husband.

If someone were to ask what Kuroo Tetsurou though Angels looked like, he would describe this scene in front of him.

The scene was beautiful and breath-taking to Kuroo's eyes. Even Kenma can hear his tall friend's breath hitching for a second when his eyes land on you. Your face moved up, eyes locking at Kuroo's cat like ones as if on instinct. You two starred for a few seconds, before a small smile softly tugged at the edge of your glossed lips. But after that smile, you turned your head and tore your gaze away from his.

A drop of tear unconciously traveled down his face. Followed by another from his other eye, and then followed by a few more soon after. He's silently crying, holding on a sob as his hands formed in a fist shakingly. Kenma of cource notices this, as he glanced to his tall friend beside him. But he was unsure of what to do himself that can comfort his best friend, and so he continued rubbing (hopefully) comforting circles behind the taller male's back.

Afterall, Kenma doesn't think he's in a much better emotional state than Kuroo at this moment either. Where Kuroo cried on his realization of fully loosing you to another, Kenma hold tears of his mix emotions. Kenma's happy for you and your soon to be husband, but he cant help but sympathize with Kuroo. Afterall he's the only guy that has seen and hear you two go through all the hard and happy Times. It's always you three since grade school. Even though you and Kuroo formed a romantic relationship Along the way, you two never left Kenma behind and Kenma never stop supporting you two. And at this moment, Kenma is unsure how to feel with the whole ordeal. He wanted his best friend back together like before, but he doesn't want to force you in to it, not when you forgot all those happy and sad Times you three experienced together.

And as you reached the end of the aisle, a hand awaited to take yours in. A hand that was not Kuroo's, but someone whom he atleast knew at one point in life. Osamu Miya. The man you met and developed deep feelings for, after you left him back in Tokyo.

Kuroo thinks you're being subconciously quiet mercifull for him. If you were to marry someone you and him knew for years, it would be more painful for him to try and mask his sadness with a smiling face in false supportive-ness. And as he sat there in silent tears, he watch and listens to you ex-changing vows with the Kansai man you've chosen to plan your new future with.

He wish it was him again. He wish he has that privilages to be a part of your future again.

Afterall he already planned everything beforehand.

As Osamu slipped the gold ring through your delicate finger, Kuroo's mind went back to a few days a go. Where he had found a neatly wrapped letter in his mailbox. He wished he didn't come when you had sent him a wedding invitation. But years of not seeing you nor ex-changing much conversation through text, could add to the factor on how desperate he is to remain in contact with you. Even after years, He's not used to being so far away like this yet.

His cat like eyes bore on to the piece of decorated paper.

How he wish it was his name written there beside yours.

5 years has passed by since the wedding.

After the ceremony Kuroo only greeted a few familiar faces and then silently leave with Kenma. For some reason Kuroo doesn't have it in him to face you, nor say his congratulations for you. He doesn't feel like tugging a smile for you at all that day. He hoped you didn't dechiper his emotionless face as something bad.

Now he's sitting in quietly, looking at the stars above him. Behind him can be seen a wooden cabin he had rent for a small nature trip, by himself. He thinks maybe he needs it, to atleast distract himself from the though of you. Honestly the first thing that dragged him to nature and disconnect with technology, is when he sees a picture being posted by Osamu Miya and shared by Atsumu on his social account. A picture of you and your 3 year old daughter with Osamu, smiling happily as it seems the three of you are eating at Onigiri Miya.

But for some reason, having his time within the fresh air of the mountains and therapeutic noises of the forest surrounding him, only Made his thoughs Drifts further on you. He though that your love is truly for him. He though that maybe he does deserve "forever". Maybe he shouldn't expect so much back then. There was never been a perfect love story from the beginning and he should've seen it coming. Even if all the odds around him seems to lead him on thinking "yes you two are meant together", maybe it's just another one of life's trial. He kept thinking like that through the 5 years.

Crouching down, Kuroo grabbed a small gasoline can that was placed beside his leg. He walked further to the wild, the backyard of the cabin, nearing a cliff where in the morning the breath-taking view of the waterfall and field can be seen. From his inside jacket pocket, he pulled out a paper file. When opening the file, it can be seen there are several papers within it and one quiet thick handmake-shift book.

He took a seat on the dirt, not minding some dust getting on his already dirty pants from the previous hike he had. One by one, his eyes wander off through the pieces of paper in the file, reading his small writings on it before dropping it to the ground in front of him. Until all the paper has been read lightly and dropped on the ground, he moved to the book. He only ever took the moment to fully and slowly read the words on the first date of the book. The date where he finally mustered the courage to confess his long-time feelings for you, and the date where he found out you also felt the same. Felt.

He schemed through the rest of the page, rather carelessly. Because he knew if he ever took the time to read each and every single plans he had for you and him, he would spend the rest of the night in tears. Heck maybe he couldn't even sleep seeing how many he wrote in the past.

Finally he reached the last page with his writings on it. His saving plans to buy you a ring. His written plan of how he was going to pull one of the best proposal action, only for you. Seems like all of that is for nothing now.

Kuroo closed the book, dropping it down with the other papers on the dirty ground. Standing up, he stretched his limbs lightly before moving to grab and open the gasoline can. Pouring all over the papers and book, not leaving any surfaces untouched, until all the papers are nicely soaked. After he emptied the gasoline can, he pulled a box of matches out from his pant's pocket.

He lights one up and throw it at the pile of papers. It went out before it could touch the wet surface, which Made Kuroo clicked his tongue in annoyence. He lights up another one, but this one went out in his hand when a sudden gush of wind hit his face. He groans in silent frustration.

'Now nature wants to hold me back?'

Was his first though.

He tries one more time. Lighting up a match, but this time dragging it down and guiding it to touch the surface of the papers. This time it finally lights up the flames on the paper. He sight contently, standing back up to see how the fire slowly covered and burns every pieces of papers and the book. Soon enough, the small fire turned in to a camp fire with the amount of fuels given to it.

The mountain around this place is quiet, especially at this time of the night. The only thing prominently audiable to the spiky haired male at the moment are the sound of the fire eating the papers.

And just like that his future plans are all ruined by the flames. The flames in front of him right now, and the flames of lingering love he still has for you. Just this week he figured he should destroy the pieces of papers that still Remind him of the old Times with you, so that he could move forward. He's in his late twenties already, he needs to get over with things and start looking up for his own future. No matter how lonely it seems like without you by his side.

He wish in another life, he could have the privilages to plan a future with you once again.

And maybe if that time does happen, he wish that everything wasn't just mere plans and wishes.

If he were to be given another chance, in another time or another universe,

He'll make sure to make every wish and plans he had in this life, a reality.

A solid reality of you and him.

But for this life, it seems like it was never meant to be.

- End

A/N: I hope I delivered well. Maybe- Actually I wish I could deliver my ideas better

Like wise, cover edit by me but the image belongs to the Haikyuu manga

[deanandthephantoms]

We're a Perfect Harmony PT.3 - Reader x Charlie

This is Chapter 3 of my Perfect Harmony story. You can read Chapter 1 here and Chapter 2 here if you haven't yet. In this chapter we'll see what life after camp is like for y/n and Charlie.. Enjoy!

Missing you more than i should..

When I got home I was overwhelmed by the amount of silence in my home. I used to love being home, curling up on the couch watching a movie or reading a book in silence. I hated loud, crowded places and now I actually missed it? What happened to me? Who am I?! I thought to myself..

“Y/N is that you?” I heard my mom call out from the living room. “Hi mom!” i said while walking up to her and giving her a big hug. “How are you doing honey? How was it?” I hadn’t really spoken to my mom at all during the week, I had let her know once that I was doing alright and that was basically it. “It was incredible mom. I had the best group of people surrounding me..” and so I told her everything about my new group of friends and everything we had done during the week.. “Thanks for making me go mom.” “You’re glowing Y/N! I’m so happy you had such a good time. I honestly felt bad for making you go when I saw how nervous you were.” “yeah.. I kind of hated you for that.. but I guess sometimes mom really does know best.” After talking to my mom I decided to lay down for a bit all those late night chill sessions with Charlie and a night of not sleeping at all was really taking it’s toll, I don’t think I had ever been this tired before. I fell asleep with a smile on my face only to wake up the next freaking day at 10am. I slept for 15 hours I really had been tired.. I picked up my phone to see I was indeed added to the girls group chat, I was also in a chat with our entire camp group and Charlie had , like he promised, sent me a private text. Seeing that put a smile on my face. Now I know what you’re thinking.. but I really just liked him as a friend that’s all. I opened his message.

“Good morning Nugget! On a scale of 1 to 100% dead.. how tired are you?” I raised my eyebrow at the nugget part, no idea where that was coming from. Without hesitation I replied.. “ Hellllooooo! Nugget? What’s up with that? Very bold of you to assume that I was even tired to begin with by the way.. but to answer your question, I have slept for 15 hours.. that says something doesn’t it?” I was about to put my phone down assuming Charlie would take his sweet time to reply. But no. the 3 dots that told me he was typing appeared almost instantly and  seconds later this popped up on my screen; “15 HOURS?! Really? Are you sure you weren’t dead and came back to life or something? I thought I was bad with my 12 hours.. I’m blaming you for the fact I’m so tired by the way.” He’s blaming me?! Excuse me? “Pardon? What? What did I do?!” “You kept me up till at least 3am every night only to be woken up again at 7am.. i’ve never been so tired coming home after camp. So yes I’m blaming you Nugget.” “The nugget again? Really? Anyway. I’m not sorry. You kept ME up actually. I’m blaming you Charlie.” “Yes Nugget. You mentioned once you like nuggets. I’m calling you nugget now. You can’t stop me. Oh and I’m not sorry either 😉” “Riiight. Don’t expect me to start calling you after one of your gross foods.. but all jokes aside, i’m glad you’re not sorry. I mean, all those late nights might be one of my favorite things of last week.”  “Really? I genuinely thought I annoyed the shit out of you.” That text made me laugh. “Don’t get your hopes up Gillespie. You sure did. Apparently you’re just the type of guy who gets away with it.” I teased. “Ouch.. that hurt. :( “ is all I got as a reply. Which caused my brain to go in full panic mode, did I just really hurt my new friend? Oh god what if this ruined it all? As fast I could I sent him “I’m sorry! I’m just kidding! You know that right?! You didn’t annoy me at all dude, in fact you did the opposite you made me feel super chill and comfortable..” I stared at my screen for what felt like hours, in reality it was probably more like 5 minutes but I got no reply..

I sighed deciding to ignore my own stupid actions I got up from my bed and went downstairs making myself some breakfast. Sitting down at the table I actually found myself missing the man that had sat opposite of me the entire week. I was missing the man that made me feel sick with his strange food combinations. Missing the man that called me out for looking dead after 3 hours of sleep. Missing the man that annoyed me with how loud he was so early in the morning. Don’t get me wrong I missed the others as well they had all, in their own way, made that week a very good week for me. I had just connected with Charlie in a different way, he seemed to really get me, he understood where I was coming from. He had not once judged me, he made me come out of my comfort zone.. My phone buzzed on the table, my hand flew straight to it and picked it up only to see Charlie had replied. I felt my heart speed up and started feeling very nervous. Why was this happening? why was i scared for his reply? We had been teasing each other right from the start. This could not have been so bad that I ruined everything, right?!

With a deep sigh I opened our chat back up. “Y/N calm down. I know. I was just kidding too! Good to know I made you feel that way though. You do realize you did the same for me right? You made me feel better when I was feeling down. I really appreciate that.” I couldn’t help but let out a big sigh of relief. Thank god everything was alright. Why did I care so much? I had known this man for 8 days. Why was I already so afraid of ruining this friendship? “Charlie, I swear to god, you can never do that to me again! I thought I ruined it all..” I typed, but deleted. I didn’t want him to know a simple joke made me go into full panic mode, he’ll think I’m crazy.. so instead I went with “ha-ha, very funny Gillespie. And hey, cheering each other up, that’s what friends are for right? 😊” “Yeah definitely. You didn’t have to do that though, you barely knew me. Yet seemed to know me better than the people I’ve known for years. You noticed things others didn’t notice or they just decided to ignore it. You didn’t. You’re a good friend Nugget. I’m thankful for getting a chance to meet and know you.”

Reading that made me feel al warm and fuzzy inside I just sat there at the kitchen table with a dumb goofy smile on my face. That’s when my mom walked in. “What are you smiling about?” “ohhh nah it’s nothing.” I simply replied, hoping my mom would buy it. Too bad for me my mom knew me longer than today. “It’s a boy, isn’t it?” “Mom! I.. eeh.. no?.. I mean.. well technically.. Yes. But no. Charlie is just a friend mom.” And I truly believed I felt that way, my mom clearly didn’t though ..”oh alright, well we’ll see.” She replied. Before leaving me once again to get back to her office. I directed my attention back to the screen “You’re a good friend too Charlie. I’m thankful my mom made me go to camp. Thankful I now can call a few amazing people my new friends. I really miss you guys. Is that weird?” “Thank your mom from me for making you go! 😉 And no, that’s not weird. We all feel that way after camp. Don’t worry the feeling will vanish over time and we’ll keep in touch through texts and facetime!” “Facetime huh? Why don’t we facetime later, you can thank my mom yourself haha!” i texted half jokingly but Charlie seemed to think it was a good idea. We kept sending text to each other the rest of day and I noticed I was looking forward to seeing his face again. I missed his bright smile, his facial expressions that said everything for me. His eyes that showed he was fully invested in whatever you’re telling him. I missed his hugs. They really were the best hugs I had ever had. I sighed at the thought of having to miss those for a whole year.. Can’t exactly hug through facetime, can you?

Later that night Charlie called me on facetime, accepting his call I saw his bright smile pop up on my screen. “Nuggeeettt!” he screamed at me sounding all excited. I couldn’t help but instantly feel happy and laugh at him. I refused to get used to that nickname but also decided not to fight him on it tonight. “Gillespieeeeeeee!” I just screamed back at him earning a big smile in return. “Soo, first things first, get me to your mom, I need to thank her.” “Your wish is my command sir!” I reply as I get up from my bed to find my mom. I find her in the livingroom on the couch. “Hey mom, Charlie wants to tell you something” I say while handing her the phone. “Hello Mrs.Y/L/N!” “Ah, so you’re Charlie! I’ve already heard quite a bit about you.” If looks could kill I would have killed my own mom right then and there.. “Yes.. that would be me. I just wanted to thank you for sending your daughter to camp. She has been a good friend to all of us.” My mom laughed “You’re welcome dear. Thank you for doing the same to her” My mom then handed me my phone back. Giving her one last glare I make my way back to my bedroom. “Sorry about that..” I say to Charlie while walking upstairs. “Sorry for what? Your mom seems lovely. No need to be sorry.” Thankful for the fact he apparently did not pick up on the whole ‘heard quite a bit about you.’ I let out big breath I apparently had been holding in.

I sat back down on my bed and luckily for me Charlie had grabbed his guitar “so. How about we continue our little tradition of singing? Name a song and we’ll sing it.” He said with the biggest smile. I was just glad I did not have to explain why I apologized and quickly started thinkin of a song. “Do you know High hopes by Kodaline? It’s not the happiest song, but it’s sooo good!” “I’m kind of offended by the fact you’re even asking me if I know it.. It’s actually one of the first songs I learned to play on this guitar.” And before I could apologize for offending him I heard the first chords of High hopes being played. As if we were still on camp we sang a few songs, granted it didn’t go as smooth thanks to delay in the video and such but still it was nice. After a few songs I heard my mom come up and calling out a good night. “Char.. I think I’m gonna have to go. My mom is going to bed so you know I gotta be quiet now…” “Nooo! don’t hang up just yet. We can still just talk for a bit right?” I was caught of guard by his plea for me to stay. “I, eh. Yeah. Yeah we can. Of course we can. Give me a second though. I’m gonna change into my PJ’s.” and with that I threw my phone on the bed, grabbing my oversized Rush t-shirt that basically functioned as a sleeping dress. “Nice ceiling you’ve got there nugget.” I heard Charlie call out. Giving him a chuckle as response. Once I changed into my PJ’s I picked my phone up and brought Charlie with me to the bathroom. “Loving the house tour Y/N, where are we going now?” “To the bathroom. I need to brush my teeth.” “oh right let me go do the same!” and he sprinted of with me to his own bathroom. About a minute later we were brushing our teeth together. causing us both to giggle at each others charming facial expressions.

After I was done I went back to my bedroom and crawled into bed making myself comfortable. “sooo I assume you don’t want to be here when I go pee right?” “Eeew Charles! No. Either hang up the phone or put me somewhere far away!” He laughed at me “Yeah thought so.  I’m not hanging up so let me just put you down on my bed.” “ Oof.. That also sounds a bit strange sir.. But sure. You do that.” “kinda does, doesn’t it?” he laughed “Okay, I’ll be back, don’t go anywhere.” And with that I was staring at Charlie’s ceiling waiting for him to come back.. which he did incredibly quickly.

Crawling into his own bed he picked me up only to instantly put me back down again."You actually waited for me!" He said while I could see him taking off his shirt nothing I had not seen before but still a sight I sure was not mad about. “of course i waited, why would i leave without saying goodbye?” i reply before Charlie fell back down on the bed and picked me back up, trying to get comfortable he was tossing and turning a bit. “You alright there, Charlie?” I said half teasingly. “Yeah, quite comfortable actually. You? I really like your shirt by the way.” Why did I feel myself starting to blush? Acting as if nothing was happening to me I replied in my chillest and coolest way; “Yeah I’m alright. Very comfortable as well actually. Nothing beats sleeping in your own bed right?” “I don’t know about that nugget, I could think of a thing or two I totally would pick over sleeping in my own bed.” “Really like what?” When I see a mischievous smile appear on his face i’m suddenly scared of the answer I’m about to get. “Oh you know..” He falls silent with that same damn smile on his face. When I raise an eyebrow at him he continues; . “You know, Sleeping in a tent at festivals, or just camping with some friends in a beautiful piece of nature or something.” i let out a sigh of relief “oh righttt. Yeah i’m fully on board with all of that.”

Charlie and I talked for another hour while we we’re both laying in our beds. At some point I felt my eyes getting heavier and heavier, and I kept fighting it as hard as I could. I was enjoying this conversation way too much for me to go to sleep now. I totally believed I was hiding it from Charlie as well. I clearly didn’t though..“Hey Y/N?” “Mhhmm?” “You’re about to fall asleep aren’t you?” I’m silent for a while now really almost falling asleep. “Goodnight nugget.” I suddenly hear Charlie say softly. That wakes me back up a bit. “NO!” I clear my throat before continuing “I mean.. no I’m not tired..” “Oh really you’re not tired huh?” Charlie starts to imitate the way I had been acting and reacting the last 20 minutes. “okay okay Fine. Stop it Gillespie. You win, Nighty night Charles.” “night night Y/N. Talk to you again tomo.. well in a few hours,” He gives me one last sweet smile before I close my eyes and I hear Charlie hang up the phone right as I’m about to fall asleep. 

Charlie and I kept in contact like that every single day. We didn’t start our day without wishing each other a good morning and refused to go to bed without wishing each other a goodnight and giving each other a virtual hug. During our schooldays we took every free second to text and we made sure to hype each other up when something important had to be done. Late nights were still being made but the few hours of sleep never seemed to bother me. I was basically running on 4 to 5 hours of sleep each day and was doing just fine. i didn’t even come close to feeling tired and was ready to do it all over again the next day. Months passed spending my time just like that..

I had been in contact with all of them on the regular and today i was actually meeting up with Madison who lived somewhat close to me. I was so excited to see her again. We had agreed to meet at a train station and that’s where I was now waiting for her to arrive. Y/N! I hear Madison yell out. I look in the direction the voice was coming from, I see Madison and run up to her to embrace her in a hug. "Madiiiiii! I missed you! How youu doing?" I let go of her and she laughs at me. "How you doin? Charlie, is that you? " Leaving no room for me to defend myself she continues "kidding, I'm great! How are youu giiirl?" while catching up on how life has been we walk to the restaurant where we had made lunch reservations.

“Sooo” Madison said once we were sat at our table. “ Soo.. what?” i asked the girl who was grinning at me. “ Sooo what’s up with you and Charlie?” i give her a confused look.”What do you mean? We’re friends, Mads. You already knew that though..” Madi laughs at me. “ Really Y/N? That’s all you’re giving me? I know you and Charlie have been talking pretty much non-stop..” I can feel the blood flowing to my cheeks when I say “Well yeah, yeah we have. And yes I have enjoyed every minute of that. But that doesn’t mean anything is going on between us. We just get along very well. Besides, he’s still with Emma so I’m sorry to disappoint you but we’re just friends..” Madi just looks at me for a while before a smile spreads on her face.” What?” I ask her. “ You like him.” She simply states with the biggest smile.” What?! Mads I just told you..” I blurt out a little too loud and a little too fast to actually be somewhat convincing.. causing Madison to laugh at me again. “ Girl you soooo do! “

By now I feel like I'm looking like a tomato, bright red, and i don’t even know why. I truly believed I liked Charlie as a friend, nothing more nothing less. Sure he was the sweetest man i had ever met and sure he believed in me like no one had ever done. and yes we had this incredible connection and were on the same wavelength on so many topics. Yes he got me, yes I felt safe enough to fully be myself and fully be honest with him about everything. aaaand yes he was goood looking. But i didn’t like him like that. I Couldn’t. He was with Emma. Me and him were just friends. I would not let myself get a crush on this guy. It would ruin everything. “ Look Mads. I’m not gonna lie. I do miss hanging out with him in real life and Charlie does make me very happy. But i don’t like him like that. He’s just a good friend to me.” Madison clearly was not convinced.”Sure, keep telling yourself that Y/N.”

And I did. In the following weeks I kept telling myself I didn't like him. I just missed him that was all. The more I talked to Charlie and the more the girls teased me about liking him the less I started to believe my own excuses. Untill the day i couldn’t deny it any longer. I totally liked Charlie more than a friend..

- read chapter 4 here

[daintykeith]

DESERVING

Title: Deserving

Summary: A one-shot love story featuring Arthur Morgan and John Marston in which John struggles to understand Arthur's new behavior around camp.

Word count: 1.6k+

Notes: mild cursing | feedback is appreciated!!!

Tags: @southernlynxx @rdr-secret-cupid

I’m your secret cupid, @southernlynxx !!! I'm so sorry this took forever dear; the past few weeks have been totally insane and out of my hands to control. I chose your first wish and decided to mix it up with some good reassurance (happy) angst which i found fitting for the theme; 

John trying to understand & accept Arthur’s affection around camp! I hope you enjoy it, happy late Saint Valentine’s day!!!

P.D → I was inspired by this photo I took in my game! Totally worth it.

John never thought it would be like this.

At first, it was awkward—maybe bizarre. But that was just the beginning.

As the sun rose from the West, John walked out of his tent like a dead man; dark bags under his eyes and scratching his side, yawning without shame. Thirty minutes of sleep—or less—felt great. Just what he needed, right? Taking guarding rounds at night for the past few weeks to avoid him. Yes, that man. The one who had become his greatest relief and headache at the same time, Arthur Fucking Morgan.

While John agonized, Arthur was at his best. Refreshed, clean, and glowing like a damn pearl who had found its way to the surface, gleaming under the Sun—too shiny for John’s liking. Thankfully, his tormenting and seductive eyes were nowhere to be found yet. But, why was John avoiding him as if he was a pest? It’s complicated, you’ll understand later on.

John walked to the empty soup cauldron and grabbed the coffee pot next to it and a metallic cup nearby. He sighed as he sipped from the coffee he had just poured himself; feeling the smoke coming off his mouth like locomotor steam. He needed it to be functional, it had become his coal and main source of energy.

He stood next to the fire in the common area, waiting for Dutch to give a speech he had asked everyone the night before to hear. Why the hell would he give a speech so early in the morning when even the rooster hadn’t yet given his call to the sky? He wondered, staring his distorted reflection in the coffee in his hand.

It was a quiet morning, everyone who woke up, quickly waved at John and left to grab a coffee, or so it remained until the feared one appeared. He walked graciously without effort, his shirt had some buttons undone that showed his chest and collarbone, looking like a damn angel. He rinsed his face and John saw with detail from afar how every drop of water dripped down his face and neck. It made him thirsty. That man was no other than Arthur Morgan.

Arthur ran his hand through his hair and over his nape. To John, that man could’ve been the Devil himself walking on Earth, an angel who had fallen from Heaven for his ego. He was too full of himself, afly in making everyone blush in a moment’s notice. Before John could realize, Arthur was staring at the red in his cheeks and grinned, satisfied from his reaction.

“Damn you!” John whispered, looking anywhere but at him as he burned his tongue and narrowed his eyes.

Arthur, with his smug grin, quickly grabbed his coffee and sat next to the fire a few feet away from John, who didn’t know Arthur was just mesmerized with his foolishness, head over heels for a stubborn and reckless but loveable little piece of shit—a nickname truthful to his nature. A true rascal! Against his better judgement and all prognostics, an all-standing jinx befell upon him like rain in a desert.

He admired John from the ground, his strong jawline, the scars on his cheek that ran to his nose and the corner of his lips. However, his foul mouth didn’t catch up with his beauty—quick witted and far too fast for his train of thought that always got him in trouble. Arthur drank from his coffee and looked at John in the eye who, this time, didn’t turn their gaze away but held it dearly.

“What are you thinkin’ about?” John asked with his raspy voice, trying to sound uninterested but contradicted by the widened pupils in his curious eyes.

A walking contradiction, Arthur thought with a grin. “Wanna’ know?” He took a long swig of his cup and let it sit in his lap.

John hesitated for a moment.  "No." Nevermind.

The blue-greened eye man cleaned the corner of his mouth with his thumb and licked it and slightly blushed. "What a shame."

John couldn't stop staring Arthur, something had lit in the corner of his mind.

"Anyway, what does Dutch want this early in the morning?"

"Don't know, don't care."  Arthur rolled his eyes and looked at his feet.

John gulped, bothered by Arthur's sudden behavior to which he decided to blind the eye on.

"He's been acting... strange," John mutters, making a long pause.

He was right. Dutch had changed; it was the gleam in the eye he had always told them to not have—those of an ambition far too great, burned by being too close to the Sun. Everybody had noticed but kept quiet, making a silent agreement in not talking about the matter. John had a hunch of what it meant, but also kept quiet.

"No more than you; what's going on with ya'? Did the wolves eat the brain whole? You've been avoiding me!"

Did he notice? He knew he wasn't hiding the fact so well, but admitting it hurt his pride.

"The hell you sayin'?! No, I haven't!"

Arthur smiled in response, as if it was the answer he was expecting.

"Why?"

John narrowed his eyes.

"Why what?"

"You know."

He stood up, spilt the coffee left in his cup into the fire and slowly walked to John. His body swung with temptation, a fierce cat-walk with a daring look in his eyes.  John felt like his feet were stuck to the ground, unable to take just one step aside to avoid the storm walking straight to him. His metallic eyes were bewitched by  Arthur's; he sure knew how to charm him every damn time.

He didn't stop until he towered over John, trapping him with his voluptuous figure.

"Why are you so shy?" He whispered to John in the ear with a burning breath that heated and tinted his cheeks in deep red.

John forgot how to breath. He was so close that he felt their bodies touch and their minds collide.

"I, uh..."

"you what, dear?"

How shameless could the bastard be? Didn't he have any limit?

"I don't wanna talk here; let's go somewhere else." John imposed in a soft mutter.

"Alright."

They went to John's tent taking hands. They were cramped in such a small place, where their breathing burned eachother's skin and only a dim light shined through the entrance. A long pause arrived when the world had seemed to stop rotating and time had gone somewhere else, making everything but them oblivious and unimportant.

"I don't understand why are you doing this," John said with long sigh, finally giving in.

John rested his head in Arthur's shoulder, feeling his body finally relax after the tense moment.

"I thought we were a secret, ya' know?" he muttered, "a thing only you and I knew. Our thing."

Arthur combed his fingers through John's black hair, softly caressing the back of his head and humming in agreement.

"I don't seem to understand why you smile at me every time you see me or why you, like, want to touch me every time you can—or when you look at me like that."

"Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No! I, ugh... I don't know."

Arthur chuckled. “I get it.”

John sighed in relief. Did it mean he would stop acting weird? I mean, Arthur would always be a bastard no matter how you look at it, but he called it an improvement.

“I'm sorry” he continued ”, but there's no stopping me in loving you.”

What. In. The. World. That's not what he meant!

“Arthur, you're not listening—”

“Every damn word, of course I do...”

“Then why are you doing this?!” John buried his head deeper, frustrated. “I'm an asshole, okay, I get it. But that's not a reason for you to do this to me.” Enchanting me, making me drunk with every word you whisper. Damn you.

“John, I—”

“I don't deserve it.”

A long silence between them came to be except for the more recurrent footsteps outdoors, stumping into the grass and dirt. John held tighter to Arthur, who stepped back only to take a closer look to his face, eye to eye.

“Listen closely, you little piece of shit.”

John flinched to the sudden grab by his collar, wanting to look away but Arthur only held his gaze closer.

"There's no denying that you are an idiot— but my idiot. I'm a fool myself, an old dirty bastard that's only getting older with every day that goes by, thinking that I'm the happiest man alive every damn time I look at you and even though I know I don't deserve it either. I ain't a good man, John. And you fucking know it." He grabbed his collar stronger as if it was a threat, with that dead look in his eyes that had seen the deeds their owner had done.

After Arthur realized what he did, he let John go.

“If it was about deserving, John, you would've never been mine."

He gently took John's hand laid it in his face, placing a gentle kiss in the back of his hand.

John couldn't speak a word. His mind had gone blank except for the beautiful image of Arthur lovingly playing with his fingers, laying kisses in the tip of his fingers, and the words that uttered in the corners of his mind, echoing Arthur's whispers.

"I'm sorry, John. But I beg you, let this damn fool love you and show it to you."

John placed his hand in Arthur's earlobe. As if both had read their minds, they looked into each other's eyes before leaning into a soft, gentle kiss.

Their kisses never tasted sweet. It was rough, with sweat and blood that was so common in there lives. Neither of them deserved the sweet taste of paradise, but they were making one of their own.

“You make me feel like a fool, Arthur.”

“You too.”

John wished this moment lasted forever. He wanted to enjoy the moment when their souls had gotten closer, but a voice outside called.

“Arthur, John, Where are you?!” Dutch called, irritated of waiting.

They separated and held each other's gaze for a moment.

“We should go,” John whispered tenderly as he rolled he eyes.

“Let's go,” Arthur chuckled.

Arthur gently held John's hand before heading out of the tent, ready for the world.

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty good day. I am in a good mood. I am tired. But mostly that's because its cold. I accomplished a lot today! I am pretty proud of myself for the house work I have been doing. I want to do more, but I got a lot done and its really nice in here. It can only get nicer. 

I wish I could sleep at night though. Eye mask is helping. But its just so hard to turn off my brain. But I don't want to take any more melatonin after I basically poisoned myself last week. So I am struggling through that. Once I did fall asleep it was pretty good but it is still so hard to wake up. And none of the heaters were on when I got up and was just so sad about that and so I just didn't get out of bed until 10 again. Like I was awake, but I just could not get up. 

I felt bad when I did get up though. Just miserable. But I couldn't let myself languish in that. My hair felt weird, like I didn't get the shampoo out enough last night. I felt ugly. So In the middle of the afternoon I would take a shower and wash my hair again and that helped a lot. But before that I was on a mission. 

I cleaned. I did all the surfaces. I cleaned all the bookshelves and the baseboards and the walls. I changed the frog tank water. I reorganized the shelves outside the kitchen and put a few things in storage. I felt good about making our space nice. 

I went through my collection of candles, half-burned, unused, melted down on the wax warmer. I picked out the ones I haven't used to donate, and decided to melt down all the leftovers of the vanilla candles into one container to use on the warmer. It was going okay! I got the first couple melted down and poured into the larger glass. And then on the very last one it splashed out and over into the pan and and it was immediately just so much smoke!! I had to turn on all the fans and open windows. I am really glad I didn't start a fire. I did melt a reusable ziplock bag that was in the sink. But no big fire, it was just scary for a few minutes there. 

I sat in the window while the smoke and smell made its way out. I did more cleaning. I vacuumed until the battery ran out. I would come back and do it more later. I was a little on edge. SweetP wouldn't stop touching my legs and being under foot and I was getting very upset by the feeling. And I tried hiding and eating in the kitchen but he wouldn't leave me alone and I was very upset. 

So I took my midday shower. And felt a lot better. Even if my hair was a little damp. I need to get myself a better hair dryer, but my travel one is good enough for now. I would spend some time just hanging out and watching videos. I would poke around in the studio. In the bedroom. I played animal crossing for a bit. I tried laying down but I didn't sleep. I just laid in bed and rested my body, warmed up by my heating pad. 

It was a nice way to spend my day. James would make up a little dinner. We would hang out in the office. And it was just nice. 

There is still more I want to do. Cleaning. Organizing. But I also want to do some art. So that is the plan tomorrow. I want to finish my print. And maybe try another new sewing pattern for a new stuffed animal. I hope its just a chill time and I can feel productive and good. And maybe I will go to target to see if they have their valentines day stuff out yet, because I love heart shaped things. 

Sleep well everyone. I hope you are all doing well and are feeling good. Goodnigh!! 

[danceing-spelled-wrong]

I've created siblings.

Yes. I'm brain dead.

Yes I have too much time.

Yes I'm dying

And yes. They over lay with Amly

I guess I'll explain them..woo..

Cemi:

He came to Snaktooth Island because he was dragged there by his older sister

He's not a well known icon, but he's known for his modeling gigs

He gets crushes pretty easily and gets upset when they don't like him back

Even though he looks like he would never hurt anyone, he could hurt anyone and will do it

He's really good at hiding and publicly speaking

When he first stepped on the island, he met Eggabell and fell in love with her

Then he met Triffany and fell in love with her, then Wiggle, and lastly Floofty

He doesn't like his sister because she spends time with Floofty

He doesn't like Chandlo(he got confused and thought he was dating Floofty) or Gramble because they have a thing for his crushes

He covers his left eye due to incident with a wild animal but his sister took most of the fall for him

His hut is right beside his sister's hut which is near the woods

In town, he's known as a bit of a stalker

He's relatively popular despite him acting shy which might add to his "coolness" but that's up to perceptive

Beffica made him a bracelet and he always keeps it on

Even though Lizbert's with Eggabell, Cemi doesn't hate her along with Wambus

He goes out at night to..do whatever he wants

You meet him in the desert where he's stalking helping Triffany

Charlia:

She came to Snaktooth Island because she wanted to study the snaxs and get away from the city

She took a liking towards Floofty and Snorpy since they're siblings and she just so happened to bring her younger brother with her

Her and Floofty get along due to their fascination of the bugsnax and both missing their limbs

She uses a prosthetic arm due to an incident that happened when she was younger

Amly tried stealing her arm and now Charlia always keeps it on her no matter what

You find her in the Sugerpines not near Chandlo or Snorpy but closer towards the mountain

Sometimes, she lifts Cemi into the air because he's light weight and because she thinks it's cute when he tries to get out her grasp

If someone is older then her, then she'll refer to them as a Miss, Mr, Mrs, and Mx

Snorpy fixes her arm when it's broken or just isn't working

Lizbert sometimes invites her on expeditions that way Charlia can grab some test subjects

She doesn't eat the snax, seeing them as..gross but she thinks that of anything she consumes

The experiments she does aren't harsh like Floofty's but it still involves scalpels and jars of unused parts

Besides doing experiments, she really good at sports mainly basketball and football

Dialogue in game:

Cemi:

Filbo

"He's really cool! He once complimented my fur AND gave me a high five!"

Wambus

"I don't appreciate him eyeing my wife, I don't see why Filbo thinks he's so great."

Beffica

"O M G! Cemi is like, the coolest grumpus here! I gave him a bracelet and he hasn't taken it off yet!"

Gramble

"He doesn't..like me.."

Wiggle

"Darling..he followed me for a whole day! I'm no stranger to stalkers but this is just ridiculous!"

Snorpy

"No comment."

Cromdo

"All he does is stalk people and everyone still think he's such a great guy!"

Amly

"Isn't that the stalker? Cemy right? Geez..I don't try to steal from him in case it directs his attention towards me."

Triffany

"Cemi? Oh dear..he stood at mine and Wamby's doorway and watched me sleep all night.."

Chandlo

"He assumes I'm in a relationship with Floofty and now sends me death threats.."

Floofty

"I'm confused on how him and Charlia are related."

Shelda

"Absolutely no comment on that..thing!"

Being asked about Floofty:

"I would say yes..but they haven't said anything about the love letters I sent.."

Charlia

Filbo

"She's so sweet, I would love to have an older sister like her!"

Wambus

"I'd like to know why she doesn't slap some sense into her brother, maybe then he'd stop with the stalking."

Beffica

"Eh, I don't speak to her but I do know that her and Cemi are related..I see the resemblance, but they don't act the same."

Gramble

"Oh..she's..very kind..and she drops off some bugsnax if she ever catches an extra one!"

Wiggle

"A lot less..strange then her brother, I would ask why her brothers like that, but I have a feeling she's a bit like him in a way.."

Snorpy

"Charlia's arm would always break so I would be the one to fix it for her, she's quite a fan of my work, mainly because I also have a sibling who is..different."

Cromdo

"A two bit goody-two shoes is what she is! She's just as bad as Beffica, but worse!"

Amly

"I can't stand her, she's too nice to everyone and doesn't get upset when I steal stuff from her!"

Triffany

"I'm not around her a lot, but she sure is nice to talk to when we're near!"

Chandlo

"Any friend of Snorpy, is a friend of mine. She can also can jump pretty high, she's a great opponent in basketball!"

Floofty

"A curious type, like Triffany but can hold back her joy in favor of science, if only she'd let me experiment on her."

Shelda

"Nothing evil seems to be stemming from in her..but still..avoid at all cost!"

Being asked about Floofty:

"I would..but I've seen what they do..and I rather keep my other arm.."

Meeting Cemi

"Ah! Wambus! I'm not eyeing ya wife! I swear!"

*calm down, i'm not wambus*

"Oh thank grump! I don't want to be thrown again.."

"Who are you anyways? You here to stalk too?"

*explains*

"A journalist? Did Lizbert ask you to be here..or something?"

"Whatever. I'm Cemi Bowtwist, I'm a model, you a fan?"

*Come back to town?*

"Oh no! No no no! If I go back, Wambus will rip me to shreds!"

*what did you do?*

"I..um..was watching Triffany sleep."

*that's creepy*

"Hey! Can ya blame me? She's married AND hot!"

"So no. I'm not coming back to town. Not until Wambus forgives me for my action!"

*why should he?*

"Because..he has to agree..his wife is really hot.."

*Sure I guess*

"Wowy! Thank you so much!"

*Wambus agrees as long as you stop*

"Oh great..sure..I guess.."

"Alright, who else is in town?"

*Gramble, Beffica, Filbo, and Wambus*

"Oh great..is Wiggle in town? If she's there, then I'll definitely come back!"

*Wiggle's in town*

"Yes! My girl is back! Awooo!!"

"Ha ha! Alright buddy boy, I'm-"

"Woah! Wait! I got to bring something for her! Ahh!!"

"Hey boy..can you..get me a Sweetiefly? The ones in the shape of hearts? If I give it to her, she might forget I followed her for a day.."

*gives Lovely Sweetiefly*

"Thank you so much! I guess I'll see you in town then, ciao buddy boy!"

Meeting Charlia

"Oh hiya! I haven't seen you around before..you're that journalist Miss Megafig told me about, right?"

"I knew it! But..I guess you came for no reason, Miss Megafig gone missin'..whya still here?"

*explains*

"Oh! That's rather kinda of ya!"

"They call me Charlia! Charlia Bowtwist! Nice to meet cha!"

*Come back to town?*

"Town? Well..I do miss my hut..but I'm about to make a break through! I've been testing this Strabby and learned that bugsnax don't have organs!"

"With this..I can finally figure out what bugsnax are!"

"But I need more.."

"If ya don't mind bitsy..could you get me a..oh..a Weenyworm and a Cinnasnail? If it's no trouble."

*got the worm and snail*

"Perfect! They'll do perfectly!"

"Hm..just as I expected, no organs! But that doesn't explain why they don't, maybe they're their own species? How come Miss Megafig is the only grumpus who discovered them?"

"So many unknown answers! I gotta get more info!"

"Maybe Mx Fizzlebean could help me..hey..are they in town?"

"If so..can you ask them if they're willing to help me with my studies."

*Floofty says they're gonna help*

"I always liked that grumpus...*sigh*.."

"I'm comin' back! I'll see ya in town bitsy!"

Welcome back message:

Cemi

"Hello Wiggle!"

"Oh..you.."

"I..brought you some Sweetieflies!"

"Cemi. I appreciate the thought..but this doesn't fix the fact you stalked me for a whole day!"

"I was making sure..you were safe!"

"....."

"How about a walk on the beach?"

"....."

"Hehehe.."

"......"

"I'll..just..leave them here.."

"......"

"Um..bye!"

Charlia

"Oh..hey sis."

"Baby brother! I'm so happy you're here!"

"Yeah..happy to see you too.."

"What brings you back anywho?"

"All my crushes are back and I plan to ask one out."

"I wish the best of luck to you little brother!"

"What about you?"

"Me and Mx Fizzlebean are gonna study Bugsanx again."

"Oh..well..can you hook me up with them? Tell them how cool I am?

"Sorry brother, they're just not interested in you."

"Yet."

"You really have a problem."

"No. You do."

"...."

"...."

"Well bye Ce!"

"Cya Char."

Interviews

Interviewing Cemi:

*Have time for an interview?*

"Of course, I'm always open for an interview!"

*Who are you?*

"The names Cemi Bowtwist, beginner model, lady master, and Grump City's most eligible bachelor!"

*Why come to Snaktooth Island?*

"I didn't want to come here, I had my mansion and my fame but my sister dragged me here."

"That's because you've been living under a rock. Duh."

*Thoughts on Bugsnax*

"Amazing, delicious, and will get me a lover!"

*If you're famous, shouldn't it be easy to find a lover?*

"Um..skip."

*Why did you leave town?*

"*sigh*"

"When Triffany and Wambus split, I tried going after her to see if I could romance her..and when I failed I came back and..Wambus was waiting there.."

"Safe to say I got out of there before he could land a blow."

*Maybe you should stop going after peoples wives*

"Eh.."

*Any info on Lizbert?*

"Meh..I don't really like her all that much. The only reason I involved myself with her was because she was the girlfriend of Eggabell."

*Another crush?*

"I've been single since I was a teen, give me a break."

*What happened to Lizbert?*

"Her and Eggabell had an argument and I tried getting with Eggabell before they made up but then they went missing, so sadly..I have no idea."

*That'll be it, thank you!*

"That was nice! I enjoy interviews very much!"

"I also found..this..laying around..so..here."

"Now I'm gonna try to get Floofty's attention, cya!"

*you received a strange key*

Interviewing Charlia:

*Have time for an interview?*

"I'm always open to chat about my experiments!"

*Who are you?*

"Charlia Bowtwist! Eldest of the two!"

*Two?*

"Yeah! I have a younger brother! He's the cutest thing ever!"

*Why come to Snaktooth Island?*

*Why did you want to escape?*

*Thoughts on Bugsnax?*

"They're really interesting and confusing..like..what are they really? And why is everyone interested in eating them? I know Miss Megafig said they were safe..but I don't get it.."

*Then what do you do with the Bugsnax?*

"Unlike everyone else..I study them and figure out why they change everyone's limbs, Mx Fizzlebean said if I want my arm back, I could eat one..but..I think that wouldn't work very much.."

*How did you lose your arm?*

"An accident regarding an animal when I was a kid..well..it was my brothers fault but I took most of the damage for him."

*Why did you leave town*

"I left..because the fighting was too much, I'm not new to arguments..but the screaming and constant fighting was too much to handle, so I left around when Snorpy and Mr Funkbun left."

*Any info on Lizbert?*

"Miss Megafig is really nice grumpus! She shows me the ropes of catching the snax and talks to me about personal issues, I liked speaking with her a lot!"

*What happened to Lizbert*

"I'm not sure..I was asleep when she and Eggabell went missing.."

"According to Mx Fizzlebean, they had an argument before they disappeared..so..maybe they're sorting things out on a secret part of the island!"

"That was rather quick..but fun!"

"You know..I found this earlier, here, you seem to be interested in this investigation stuff!"

*You were given a journal with a lock*

Reaction to death when and after:

Cemi

"H-Huh? Charlia..?"

"Why was I so mean to her..she..she just wanted to help me..and I shoved her away..

She didn't deserve to go..I was being a jerk..why did..those things..take her?

They knew didn't they?

About her suffering?

That's why they took her..

I need to be alone..go away.."

Charlia

"Noooooooo! Cemi no! Please grump no!! Don't..please..come back.."

"This has to be a dream..please..say it's a dream..he..he's not dead..no..

I'm a terrible big sister! I deserved to go, not him! Why take him you..you evil creatures of hell?!

Just..take me..please..I..I want to leave..please..take me..

Go away..please."

No more OCs. I can't be bothered to make more concepts..

[lawrising-a]

( continued from here! // @pseudoneiric )

there's a sore sensation nestling against the sensitive skin of his wrist -- not rubbed raw, exactly, considering his tie is too silky to achieve such a feat ( and he, desperately, tried to move as little as possible ) but it still stings. a chiding reminder of what he allowed to happen not even minutes ago. yellow wrapped around him, completely bound and helpless ... it was something he can't say he's done before, not like that. he thinks the correct term would be bondage, but was it? gloved hands sinking beneath layers of flesh to expose the fluttering organs beneath, and expose her own in turn. call him crazy, but that's not what he thought bondage was about. but when was anything with lilian it's textbook definition? he can't blame anyone for his display of vulnerability except himself, completely ensnared with the girl the moment they crossed paths. there were times he watered down his attraction, for both their sakes, blaming her allure for his enchantment. yet lies come clean eventually and here he now perches. the edge of his mused bed, chest rising and falling more then it should as he burns with the black markings drifted upon his ivory skin. lipstick marks painting him in a light he's not used to. he's been stripped of all his warm tones and fake boy scout personas ; left in cool colors. green pants and black marks.

‘and what are you ... the sun?’ whispered a voice earlier, like every hushed word was a secret reserved between the two of them. mat rolls his shoulders, because he doesn't feel that way anymore. never has, honestly. he wants to be beaming lights with a killer gravitational pull, but he ... isn't. the colors on him now is a striking reminder of that : yet he replays lilian's maddening words and fools himself briefly. it's okay to believe lies when she's the one feeding them! as long as she believes it, why can't he humor it? everything she said had been a warped view, a funhouse mirror at those shifty carnivals -- but it was raw honesty from lilian, and he can't turn away the swell of attention. even if he should, even if mat should waltz into the bathroom where she's currently shrouding herself away and spill out the truth. let her know he isn't some angelic force but rather a mockery of one. how matthew naively hopes he can be hers regardless of his lack of good ... it's dizzying, causing his vision to blur, because it's been a while since he's confronted this about himself. the student doesn't like it. but oh, he loves her -- a burning sensation that lights his veins aflame and races his heart.

distractingly, he presses the pad of his rough thumb against the mark on the corner of his lips. a replica of a kiss she once bestowed upon him like salvation itself ( hm, what's with the spur of religious imagery today? hah ). trying to prod away the disappointment that rises every time he feels the wishful want of her actual lips there instead. she has to -- she has to feel something for him at this point, right? that can't be an assumption anymore, can it? questions whirl around as his fingers ghost down his ruined skin, tracing over the words left with his own hands like confirmation. like he's silently saying 'yes, property of lilian eyler.' like he's finally allowing himself a love he thought he wouldn't ever have when he traces, ‘mine. mine. mine-’ that ends with him working his way back up, away from the bulge of his stomach and trembling arms -- away from 'poetry, life, religion' and back to his lips. where he's reminded, with a fuzzy feeling balling up in his chest, 'mine.' almost pushing hard enough to slip a finger through his pink lips, plush and ready for ... mat isn't sure. he just wants her to kiss him there. though he knows she won't, least not today. and even if there's this sickening greed that controls him with a talent, he lets her have that. lets her take all her time in the bathroom and tries not to beg for more. how did she elegantly put in, in all her poetic prose that he's seen briefly in the club? a loyal dog? just for you now, only ever for you, lili--

a shiver rocks his form, startling his hands to the edge of the bed to tear into as he digs his heels into the carpet ( like he once had in the bed, to ground himself, to not buck ). was his pulse racing with the life she declared to adore so much? the man sinks canines into his cheek to hold back from beckoning her out to check. no, no ; he said he'd leave her be. it's a good thing for them both right now. if she had stayed and let the fabric obscuring his view fall from his eyes, he would've reached for her. try to pull them close and he'd ramble like a mad man ... wouldn't he have scared her? some part of him thinks he still has. which wobbles his posture in order to keep his head bowed, like awaiting punishment. almost waiting for pain building in his scalp, because surely she'd card her delicate laced fingers through his hair with a bit more force if she came back out. or was that his gentle throb of arousal wanting that? she got him worked up so easily ; ah, well, at least it's a good exercise for his thinning self control ...

a sigh, shaky and human, whistles out of parted lips. dry due to the fact he can't lick them thanks to the lipstick, though he can't help but wonder if he did -- would he be licking lilian's lips that way? the material touched them ... realizing how wild he is, a thoroughly teased animal, matthew laughs nervously. jesus christ, there's parts of him strewn all around his bedroom, because there's no way mat is fully put together. his brain feels like soupy liquid dripping from his ears and hissing into his scarlet skin. a puzzle of a man that lilian expertly took apart and left half completed. no matter how hard he tries to reel himself in, chase away all the sweetened morbidness delivered, he can't find all the pieces. surely, the clever girl took some with her to the bathroom. she was ... possessive. mat learned that just now. possessive over him, envious of basic things that matthew almost couldn't believe. she'll never know how comforting it was to see. a feeling now nestled happily within because nobody's been possessive of him before! she mustn't of gotten the memo from former friends, didn't hear how expendable he was to everyone who's known him. people don't get jealous for matthew, they don't care how much he sleeps, they don't care if he isolates away -- and they certainly don't care if his eyes linger on a girl with purple hair.

because who would find him special? he's an emotional wreck everyone stays weary of, a boy to eye with skepticism. his jealousy, his rawness, his obsessive love and need is wrong and ugly. you're shunned for those things by society. to the world, mat is anything but special, he's wrong ; so wrong and he's relentlessly tried to change that. but lilian ... she thinks otherwise. feels like he feels. sensitive and lovesick. and while he's always tried to hide before, if the girl with inky hair thinks it's beautiful and radiant ... everyone else must be wrong, because lilian eyler never is! as clever as the devil and twice as pretty, so the saying goes. with a rueful smile, too boyish and gentle for his own sharp face, he thinks it's an accurate fit for his favorite person ever. his throbbing molten core of earth, the darkened reflective surface of his beloved moon.

“im excited about lunch tomorrow, you know?” calls mat, voice as rough as ever ; like he uses it too much. but during this whole date, he fears he hasn't used it enough. “i haven't eaten with another person in a while. i usually just grab an apple and loiter around the library.” did you think i ate with yuri? though the fawn haired male doesn't ask, he quickly kills that assumption if it festered in lilian's mind. “if it goes well, we could ... ah, why don't we eat together from then on? maybe everyday? maybe forever! i think it'd be ... nice.”

the last part is so quiet he's not sure she hears it, but maybe she hears it die off. senses his shyness that bares him like it's her own. matthew doesn't want to dwell in it, so he tries to push forward. telling himself to keep tearing down the walls until there's nothing left ( the bathroom walls or his own? ). she deserves to hear more then his sputters from their little session, brought on by gutting arousal and his own jittery sparks : she deserves the world on an obsidian platter. to know he does want to be owned by her, to understand he'd be so comfortable displaying that label for all to see. and for lilian to be told, sternly, that he'd choose her out of a line up with certainty most would be scared of. love isn't half way for him, ever, and lilian needs to know that. even if his heart thunders and he wants to hear more of her disarming voice instead.

“and i want to be yours ; your idea with the whole 'blindly leading me around' wasn't half bad!” heartfelt chuckling makes him feel like he's vibrating out of his skin, her skin now, isn't it? “i'd let you blind me, i'd let you led me even if i was deaf and mute. you could be all my senses, because maybe then i'd trust them more. you don't know how much i wish these words on me were permanent, lilian --” mat twists his mouth, ruins his hair more. “darling, you just ... i've tried so hard to be normal this year, more then any other, yet you make me so helpless! it's ... how do you do that? do you know how special you are, how beautiful? perfect ... well, perhaps not that ; because you're stupid for worrying about not owning me. isn't it obvious you already do? were these reminders for me, or wishes for you?"

( eyes flutter to words he can barely read on his bared parts, words overlapping due to frenzy. all true. all true )

with a tightening throat, emotions rising like waves and god he could just drown, matthew lays back on the mattress. meekly pulling the tie out from under him, only to drag it over his used wrists. picturing only her. wondering if this sight would entice her to keep going when she comes out. and he wants to say lilian, you've won! congratulations on having a lover for life! or, something like : yuri couldn't pry me from your cold dead fingers! but what stumbles out is something foolish that he immediately grimaces over. hopefully she's too shaken to judge him too much.

“i think you're my soulmate, lilian. i .. really do.” so why would i ever let you go? or deem you unworthy? it's me, im unworthy. not you, never never -- his lashes tickle his skin when he shuts his eyes. breath hitching before evening out. reminding himself to calm down because matthew thinks he'll actually explode otherwise. a bundle of nerves, of her love, is all he really is.