#{ am i thinking way too much about logistics? yes. but that's what i do! }

[phonetutorials]

not to keep fazerblasting you guys with headcanons, but ralph is in my brain...

so - time to talk about ralph's parental backstory. he and his girlfriend were in college when she got pregnant, and wanting to be as present and supportive as he could, ralph dropped out and started working at freddy's around 1982 to financially support them. he moved back in with his parents until he could secure a loan for their future house (say what you will, but the man is dedicated), and finally, the two of them moved in together. ralph encouraged his girlfriend to pursue her studies, which she did...until the later stages of her pregnancy left her so weak that she couldn't.

(tw: death during childbirth (and birth in general tbh, i'm squicking myself out))

everything seemed like it was going smoothly, and doctors assured the couple that things were fine. during the delivery, however, complications arose that led to his girlfriend's death. miraculously, their baby survived; that moment defined how ralph would treat his daughter later, not as a burden, but as a little miracle, a survivor, a remnant of her mother. he held that little girl and fell in love with her. she became his everything.

(end tw)

as a father, ralph vowed to be everything that his own father wasn't: caring, supportive, and empathetic. he considers himself incredibly lucky that coppelia grew up to be as sweet as she did, but in reality, it was because of the way he raised her. as much as the man doubts himself, he really is the ideal parent, especially for becoming a single father through tragedy.

[snarp]

Real True Law Stories

This is heavily-paraphrased because 1) it happened a while back, and the conversations were longer and involved a lot more of me going "no! no! augh," and 2) the case was not actually about Ale-8 bottles, but its actual focus was similarly-specific, which would have made it really easy to look up.

Dad: Can you value a collection of old Ale-8 bottles for me, honey?

Me: ...possibly, but I'm not going to. Is this a blasting case again? Did someone's designated used Ale-8 bottle shelf fall over?

Dad: No, they got stolen. He had this shed or big closet or something totally full of collectible Ale-8 bottles, he's got all these insurance photos, he'd had them appraised by the national Ale-8 bottle expert -

Mom: Dear...

Dad: No, he's definitely really upset about these lost Ale-8 bottles! He's traumatized! Do you think I don't deal with liars? ...He thinks his estranged drug-addict relative stole the Ale-8 bottles.

Me: No. That did not happen.

Mom: That's probably not what happened, dear.

Dad: Drug addicts steal stuff all the time, what is this -

Me: Dad, no, this is fucking logistically -

Dad: - don't, I'm telling the story, stop it - "logistically" -

Me: A drug addict would not steal and hock a huge collection of Ale-8 bottles! They're heavy and fragile and that's a ridiculous specialist hobby, logistically it'd be way too -

Mom: The bottles were definitely stolen, dear?

Me: Why wouldn't you just steal, like, the TV? Or the car or whatever?! You don't steal the Ale-8 bottles!

Dad: They were stolen! He was gone! He'd had a fight with this person, he couldn't get back into the house for a while, he came back and the bottles were gone, he was heartbroken!

Me: No! You don't steal the collection of Ale-8 bottles, that's not what you steal!

Dad: No, they knew he really liked these bottles, it was revenge or something? Seriously, he keeps asking me why I can't make the police go and arrest this person and find out where they put the bottles, he's really angry! He misses his bottles.

Mom: *sigh* Okay, dear. So the Ale-8 bottles were stolen and insurance won't cover them.

Dad, to Me: So you're going to try and value the Ale-8 bottle collection for me. It'll be easy.

Me: I am not.

Dad: He has a spreadsheet.

Me: No. - You said he already had it appraised!

Mom: Before the Ale-8 bottle heist...

Dad: He did! I mean. There's this guy who writes Ale-8 bottle valuation books, he lives - somewhere, and the client knows him over, I guess, an Ale-8 bottle club? Ale-8 bottle mailing list? On the internet. - and he came on this road trip to just look at these Ale-8 bottles in the guy's shed or closet! Does that make sense?

Me: If this is an actual collecting hobby that other people engage in, and not a scam - if Ale-8 bottle collecting is something that's real - then yes, that's normal if you've got a valuable collection, I guess? How much did he say all these Ale-8 bottles were worth, is this even a sane case to be taking if he's telling the truth?

Dad: [a very large number]

Mom, who has been quietly thinking about this while we do our manzai routine: Well, there are definitely other Ale-8 bottle collectors, honey. [name] likes them, I think?... That seems awfully high. He had them in a shed? Like a garden shed?

Dad: I've seen the book! He showed me the Ale-8 bottle book! It was a shed or a garage or a side room or something. They weren't outside.

Me: If what you're trying to figure out is whether this guy and the appraiser are for real, I'd just... look around online and make sure there are actually people buying and selling these things, and talking about them to the extent he says there are, I guess?

Mom: If there's a real community and a real buyer base.

Dad: The Ale-8 bottle book had numbers in it, like values.

Me: The numbers don't mean anything if his buddy wrote the book and if they're the only two people who care about Ale-8 bottles!

Dad: You know, you're awfully suspicious of these Ale-8 bottles...

Me: It's a completely ridiculous story. - You're suspicious of them, too! That's why you even asked me to value Ale-8 bottles!

Dad: You're just not a trusting person. You're paranoid. You know, I trust all my clients completely -

*My Ale-8-bottle-related-outrage HP drops too low and I die.*

Mom: No. What she's saying is that their book value -

Dad: Yeah, that's the word, their book value! Like a Kelley Blue Book value for a car, that's what this other guy does, he does the Blue Book for the bottles. So all I have to do is show the insurance company the Kelley Bottle Book, right?

Mom: No.

Dad: It's fine! The insurance company will be completely cooperative. What are they going to complain about, it's right there in the book.

Mom: Does the book reflect the market values of the bottles? The street values? Are these the prices that people pay on eBay or wherever when they're buying the bottles?

Dad: I don't know.

Mom: Are they the prices he paid for them?

Dad: I don't know. Probably.

*I finish my corpse-run and resurrect.*

Me: There's got to be an actual market for there to be market prices. People who buy the things and have opinions about how much they're worth and stuff.

Dad: Can you research that for me, honey? Research the Ale-8 bottle market?

Me: I'm not going to do that. You have [name] in the office, right? You are paying her money to do this stuff for you, correct?

Dad: You never want to help me. Help me research Ale-8 bottles. I don't know why my daughters never help me.

Mom: And then you have to prove all this stuff to the judge and jury. Will they believe that Ale-8 bottles are worth anything?

Me: Please show us how you will emotionally convince the jury that these Ale-8 bottles are worth money. Make it sound like you're really sad about the loss of the valuable Ale-8 bottle collection.

Dad: Nnnno! *laughs* Oh, my god, they're such bullshit! They're these little bottles! And he had zillions of them! He must have some sort of trauma in his past, I'm going to ask [Psychiatrist Who Acts As An Expert Witness In PTSD Cases] to examine him... - Well, this is some southern thing, like the little toy stock cars that guy had. I don't know, maybe a southern jury will buy it?

Me: Say that "a jury of your peers" means "a jury of Ale-8 bottle collectors."

Mom: Yeah, hope you get a collector on the jury or on the bench.

*- several months later -*

Dad: So do you want to hear what happened at court the other day? With my Ale-8 bottle guy?

Me: You're going to tell me about the Ale-8 bottle guy regardless. Did it turn out to be insurance fraud?

Dad: No, actually! - well, I don't know. "A reasonable doubt for a reasonable price!"

Mom: Dear.

Dad: So obviously the insurance guys are like, "this is bullshit! It's bullshit! Ale-8 bottles aren't worth anything, the whole thing is bullshit!" And I'm like, okay, well. And they don't want to go to mediation, and they give us this lowball number to settle, and, obviously, no.

Dad: So we go in front of Judge [X] the other day, and I'm like, *solemn expression* "Judge. My client has had his extremely valuable Ale-8 bottle collection stolen, and his insurance will not pay for it even though he had it personally appraised by The Ale-8 Bottle Man."

Me: Who is his buddy and who may well be artificially inflating the prices of stuff he and his friends have a lot of, sure.

Dad: You don't know that!

Mom: And opposing counsel said…?

Dad: So, [Other Lawyer], he got up there and he was like, "Well, Judge, I mean. Ale-8 bottles, right? They're Ale-8 bottles." And they start - but then the judge goes, "Actually. I wanted to say, I was looking over the documents in this case. And, well, I've got a bit of a collection myself - I've got the - 1492 Foofrall-something Bottle and a mint-condition Bluh-buh-buh Bottle, and" and then he just sits there and lists all these Ale-8 bottles he's got for like, several minutes.

Me: Is this a joke. Did this actually happen.

Dad: It happened! It did happen!

Me: Mom!

Mom: I know, dear. It happened. He is not making this up.

Dad: So I get out of there and I go over and talk to opposing counsel, and just! The looks on their faces! They looked so defeated.

Me: They've got to be really suspicious of you right now.

Mom: "Is this why he took the case? Did he know?"

Dad: No! I had no idea! I was just as flabbergasted as they are, I've never heard him - okay, did you know this terrible fact about Judge [X]? Did you know he was one of them? The Bottlers?

Mom: I did not know this. I knew that he golfed.

Dad: So, long story short, I kind of think that this case is going to settle?

Mom: Unless the bottles are just in his basement, and he posts a picture of them to his Facebook without thinking.

Dad: Huh?

Mom: Like your other guy.

Dad: Those weren't bottles.

[one-squash-one-end]

I wrote a giant Raven Cycle analysis

Hi! Over the last year or so I've been working on a sort of essay about various themes in the raven cycle series, and I finally finished it a few weeks ago.

It is titled: "Why I love The Raven Cycle - An excessive analysis of the themes of friendship, queerness and growing up".

And since tumblr loves its meta (and bc I love peer validation) I've decided to start uploading it bit by bit here, making this the masterpost (if I can figure out the logistics of the linking lmao, bear with me)

(beware of spoilers up to greywaren starting at like 3b!)

Introduction

What even is the Raven Cycle?

Trust me, the characters are queer as fuck and I can prove it a) Blue Sargent b) Gansey c) Adam Parrish d) Ronan Lynch e) Noah f) Henry Cheng g) Honorary mentions

The Gangsey is a polycule

Analyzing the reoccurring themes a) Friendship b) Being a teen/growing up c) (Found) Family d) Magic (as a metaphor) e) Further themes I appreciate

Drawing a conclusion

Click here to start with the introductory parts!

1. Introduction

So here’s the thing: I love fiction almost as much as I love my friends. There’s something deeply comforting about the escapism, even if the book actually makes me want to scream and throw it on the floor (only one book has been thrown so far, I promise!).  Fiction is a healthy thing to occupy my thoughts with: headcanons! Quotes being on loop in my brain! Just fandoms!

And for me, if I am hooked on a book (series), it does not even need a good plot where a lot of things happen. In fact, I would say that my enjoyment of a book is made up of 30% plot and about 70% characters and vibes. If the characters are bland, if they do not make me feel much emotion, it likely won’t be more than 4 stars (additional info: I am way too nice rating books!). I really, really need to love the characters, to be able to relate to some aspects of them, or it just won’t become an obsession.

Since I have already started explaining that a bit, let’s look at this question: What is important to make a book special to me? 1. I need to cry reading it. 2. I have to think about it often, even weeks to months after having read it. 3. Obviously, I need to love the characters. 4. I need to be in the fandom! This can be hard with some books, but the internet is a whimsical space allowing you to find at least a small number of people who are obsessed with a work of fiction to a similar extent as you are.

Now, why am I elaborating on this so much? It’s because The Raven Cycle did all that for me. It is my favorite comfort book series at the moment, for all those aspects mentioned, but of course I cannot just leave it at that. No, I wrote a whole-ass analysis on headcanons and some of its themes. You’re welcome.

2. What even is The Raven Cycle?

The Raven Cycle is all I adore and live for (next to my friends). So, naturally, it’s a book series, specifically a four book young adult contemporary fantasy series by American author Maggie Stiefvater. The books in question are: The Raven Boys (2012), The Dream Thieves (2013), Blue Lily, Lily Blue (2014) and The Raven King (2016), and yes I will admit that the publishing dates are a bit of a red flag. There is also the very relevant follow-up series called The Dreamer Trilogy (Call Down The Hawk, Mister Impossible, Greywaren), but it’s a lot less easy to get into that here as I do not know these entire books by heart, so I’ll stick to the original tetralogy here.

To stick to red flags, the books are set in the fictional Henrietta, a rural town in non-fictional Virginia, US, in the 2010s. However, that doesn’t really say *that* much about the plot, so let me summarize that really quick, because I can do better than the official synopsis! (Or let’s pretend I can.)

Blue Sargent comes from a family of psychics, yet she does not have any powers of her own. Even worse, she is a bit of an amplifier for the others, meaning she is always somehow but never directly involved in the business. As if that isn’t enough for an identity crisis, every psychic she has ever met has told her that her kiss would kill her true love. Yikes.

But because she is that amplifier, she comes to a church watch on St. Mark’s Eve, where psychics see the spirits of those to die within the following year. It’s important business, but to her it’s really just staring into the dark. Until she does actually see a spirit: That of Gansey. Of course this is not a coincidence. No, to add to this teen’s mount of problems, there are only two reasons why a non-seer would see someone’s spirit: They are their true love, or they killed them. Or, in Blue’s case, maybe both.

The aforementioned Gansey is Henrietta’s Golden Boy, the son of politicians (read: he’s fucking loaded). He does not run with the Republicans though, he runs with dead Welsh kings, meaning he has been searching for the probably dead, presumably sleeping Welsh king Glendower (*1350; †1416; yikes) for the past like seven years. Why the fuck would he do that? Well, legend says that he will grant a wish to whoever wakes him, and our favorite PTSD-ridden guy really wants that favor.

Aiding him are fellow Aglionby students Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch and Noah Czerny, plus Henry Cheng, though only a lot later in the series, but I really did not want to leave out that menace (affectionately) here. The paths of Blue and the boys cross because of Gansey’s search for Glendower, plus the fact that Blue works at a popular pizza place, but that’s a lot less whimsical. And, well, there’s the implication that Gansey might also be her true love, but perhaps she just kills him because of his bad fashion sense, it would be justified. Anyway, in true Famous Five fashion (Ronan is the dog; I won’t elaborate, the girls that get it, get it) they are of course not the only ones searching for the king, so it’s not completely a wholesome friend bonding activity all the way through.

Be prepared for: friendship and growing up, lots of treasure hunting, family mysteries, magical forests, illegal and slightly distasteful activities (our favorite of course), but most of all, heavily queer-coded (or even canonically queer) characters. Be Gay, Do Crime.

[valley-of-headcanons]

Harveys reaction to the farmer getting hurt in the mines?

bachelors reacting to you getting hurt || headcanons

these bachelors vowed to stay with you, in sickness and in health! part one here!

warnings: you get hurt (obv) by: the mines, tree, ocean, farming, concert exhaustion, and animals. if you're scared of that, don't read this :)

requested by: @stardewhhore + anon! hii, i decided to combine this request for convenience. this is a part two to one of my earlier posts, so i hope you enjoy! :)

alex

• Alex knew you had left for the day when he woke up, assuming you were out on the town doing something important. You were actually down in the forest, chopping some trees so that you could craft a few more chests. With Alex moving in, you needed a lot more storage! So, you chopped down trees like you normally would. You weren't expecting one to fall your way ...

• Finally getting out of the house today, Alex decided he was going to play some gridball out in the forest. He needed to get out of the house and feel the sun on his skin! He hummed softly to himself as he walked out to the forest, tossing the ball up in the air and catching it. His eyes drifted away from the ball to a fallen tree ... with you under it.

• A rush of adrenaline pushed Alex toward you at lightning speed, picking the tree up off of you and holding you in his arms. Looking across your body for wounds, he knew that he needed to get you to Harvey's as soon as possible. Alex's emotions were battling him, tears pooling up in his eyes. He's good at hiding his emotions, but not when someone he loves is hurt. He got you to Harvey's as soon as possible, sitting beside you as Harvey examined your body. Once you woke, Alex let out a sigh of relief and kissed your knuckles.

• “Babe ... I am so glad you're awake. I would hug you right now, but Harv' said your ribs are a little bit broken ... not too bad though, don't worry! I'll help you get better. You're lucky I was there to save your clumsy ass, it was just a coincidence I was walking by ... hey, don't worry about it. If you need help doing anything dangerous, let me be there ... to spot you, I guess? I know that's not the right term, but in my terms, it is. ... I love you so much, and I don't know what I'd do without you.”

• Alex took you home and made sure you were comfortable. He was very cautious and careful with you, making sure to give you what you need and not to hurt you. Yes, it was hard not to wrap his arms around you and hug you tight, but he managed. Your health was more important than his wants. He loved you and showed it in alternate ways, through his words and actions.

elliott

• Fishing was part of your daily routine. The beach was always your favorite spot, you enjoyed the beautiful scenery and the memories you've made with the love of your life. You sat on the beach, casting your rod and waiting for a fish to bite. Elliott was back at home, not worried about your whereabouts. You were always safe and careful! ... sometimes, accidents happen, though.

• Elliott decided to go for a stroll on the beach. He knew he'd probably run into you, since he knows you so well. The beach was such a relaxing place, and with you there, it'd make it even better! So, he happily made his way towards the sand, humming softly as he did so. He didn't expect to see you face down in the sand. You didn't look so good ...

• His heart dropped through his shoes, racing towards you as fast as he could. Tears pricked at his eyes, letting his emotions get in the way of logistics. He turned you over, giving you CPR. You were breathing, it wasn't that big of a deal, but Elliott's thoughts wouldn't slow down enough to think this through. Words can't describe how relieved he was when you opened your eyes, though.

• “Oh dearest! You scared the daylights out of me, I was horrified! I thought I had lost you for good, my love. Please, don't scare me like that again! Are you okay, are you feeling well? I would do anything to help you, I hate to see you in such a state! You mean the world to me, my love, and I don't know what I would do if my world stopped turning. Now, let's get you to the hospital. Let me do everything for you, please.”

• Elliott picked you up very carefully before practically racing to Harvey's. He bursted through the door, handing you to Harvey and explaining the situation with his usual dramatics. Harvey tended to you and let you both know that it was going to be fine, but you were to be on bed rest for a few days. Elliott held true to that, staying by your side as much as he could. He showered you with as much love and affection that you needed to feel better.

harvey

• You were hard at work in the mines, making sure to get some gems to bring home for your husband. Yes, working in the mines wasn't the easiest and was definitely a health hazard, but it would be fine! You've done it so many times before, why would this be different! All you had to do was get the job done and get home. But … you forgot to bring food down to the mines and your energy was running low. Uh oh.

• Harvey got home from his shift at the clinic, walking into the cabin to something strange. You weren't there, there was no note as to where you had gone … huh, isn't that odd? He had a strange feeling. He grabbed his first aid kit just in case, like always, and headed to the mines. He had a strange suspicion … he hoped he wouldn't be right. But when he got to the floor you were on, his heart dropped.

• Seeing your unconscious body resting on the floor of the mines, he panicked. Harvey is known for being calm during medical emergencies, but when it came to you … he couldn't bear seeing you hurt. He picked you up and carried you to the top of the mines, resting your body against some rocks as he checked your vitals. You seemed fine, maybe a concussion and some scratches. He got to work stitching you up when you stirred awake. Harvey let out a giant sigh of relief as he wrapped his arms around you, pressing a kiss to your temple.

• “Oh thank God- … you’re okay, you're okay … I was really worried about you for a second there. I knew you'd probably be fine, it's just … I hate the thought of your life being in my hands … I’m just glad you're okay. Let me check to see if you're concussed, dear. It'll only take a moment, then we'll get you home and to bed. You need to rest, my love. Doctor’s orders.”

• He did just that, getting you home and into bed after cleaning all your wounds and making sure everything was okay. You were fine, you just needed to stay in bed for the next few days. Harvey could work from home for the next few days, it would be fine. Harvey made sure to keep you healthy, fed, and hydrated. You deserve only the best from your loving husband.

sam

• Sam was finally performing at a pretty big venue, and of course his lovely partner would be in attendance! You wouldn't miss it for the world! You danced and sang along to every song, not stopping for a second! Until ... you started to feel a bit faint. The heat paired with all of the excitement started getting to you. And then it got you. You hit the ground with a thud.

• After getting off stage, Sam's first thought was to go see you. Of course, you were always let back stage. But, he didn't see you. Something was off. He walked toward his friends, asking where you were. They stuttered and explained that you were in the emergency tent. His heart dropped.

• Sam didn't even take off his costume or mic pack before running at full speed toward the tent. He was extremely worried about you, and his heart was pounding. The adrenaline of the concert basically carried him to the tent, getting there quicker than anyone would have thought. You had already woken up, and you were getting taken care of.

• “Oh my God- BABE?! Are you okay, what happened?! I- ... I'm sorry, I couldn't see from the stage, I should've been paying more attention! I would've stopped the show- ... Babe, yes, I would have! I love you, but I would've stopped for any emergency, I don't want anyone hurt, especially not my partner! ... as long as you're okay, it's not a problem. I love you, and please take it easy. I love that you're supporting me, but don't support me too hard, okay?!”

• Sam took you home and pampered you for the rest of the night. He kept apologizing, worried for your health and taking the orders the doctor had given you very seriously. He loved you, and it showed through every kiss and hug he gave you. Sam was basically your servant for an entire week, giving you whatever you needed and wanted!

sebastian

• Every morning, by the time Sebastian woke up, you were already hard at work. He was more of a night owl, while your limit was 2 AM. You were up bright and early to start working on your shared farm. Today was harvest day, so you began the strenuous task of getting your hundreds of crops taken care of. Since when did your farm get so big? And since when did the hot, summer air bother you so much? And since when was the world around you so fuzzy ..? ... thud!

• Sebastian finally rose from his slumber relatively late in the evening. He saw that you already left, so he decided to grab an energy drink from the fridge. He didn't feel like going through the hassle of making a huge pot for just himself. Sebastian did, however, want to see how you were doing. So, he headed outside to see his lovely partner ... face down in the farm. That's not a good sight to see.

• Frozen for a moment, Sebastian stared at the sight in front of him. He slowly creeped forward, biting down on his lip softly as he approached. A huge sigh of relief escaped him once he realized you were still breathing. He quickly sat beside you, trying to get you to wake up. It didn't seem to be working. He gathered enough strength to pick you up, slightly struggling, and carry you down to Harvey's. He told Harvey everything he could before sitting down beside you. As Harvey was cleaning you up and doing a quick check-up, your eyes carefully opened.

• "Good, you're finally up. You had me worried, hon ... I assume the heat got to you, it was definitely hot out today. Maybe we should both be taking better care of ourselves. Harvey said you're dehydrated ... I'm just glad it's nothing serious ... I thought the worst had happened when I saw you out there. I am so glad you're okay, my love."

• Sebastian followed Harvey's orders as close as he could, making sure you were drinking enough water and eating enough to keep your energy up throughout the day. He also took a few pointers for himself, drinking more water instead of energy drinks. He wanted to keep you safe, and if that meant taking better care of both you and himself, he'd do it.

shane

• It was a hot summer’s morning, and you were about to head out for the day to work on the farm. This is the usual, nothing out of the ordinary. Shane opted to stay inside for a while, hitting the metaphorical snooze button. You started work on your daily chores and decided to help Shane out by doing a few extra ones. One of which was the chicken coop. It really did get hot this time of year, and you hadn't ate this morning … thud.

• Once Shane got out of bed, he sluggishly started to do his chores. They were a bore, but they had to be done. He loved you, and whatever he could do to make your life easier, he would. One of the things he does enjoy is going to hang out with the chickens. He put it on the top of his to-do list, marching out of the cabin with a pretty tiny spring in his step. What he didn't expect to find was you laying down face first in the hay of the chicken coop.

• He raced toward you, his heart beating wildly out of his chest. Seeing that you were at least alive, he let out a breath of fresh air. He couldn't seem to get you awake, though … he dragged you out of the chicken coop, barely being able to pick you up and get you in the house. Putting a cold rag on your forehead and pointing every fan in the house directly onto you, he waited for you to wake up. And once you did, he was ecstatic.

• “Hey, ya passed out on me back there … yeah, everything’s fine, I was uh- … just worried about you, that’s all. Let me handle the chickens from now on, you're gonna overwork yourself. I love you doin’ favors for me but I don't love you passing out on me. Now … let’s get you checked out at Harvey’s, I’m just hopin’ you didn't bump your head too hard when you hit the ground.”

• Shane got you to Harvey’s as soon as he could, being your crutch the whole way there. He listened to what Harvey had to say, taking a mental note of it as he got you back to the house. You were on close but subtle supervision. He would do anything you need, staying pretty close, but wouldn't get too far up in your business. He loves you sincerely, though. He just hates seeing you hurt like this. But, being depended upon is pretty nice for a change.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello hello! How are you doing miss Raven?

Just read your toughts about book 7 chapter 12 part 1 (wow that's a mouthful) and am pretty happy you enjoyed it like i did! I totally agree with your critiques on it too, especially regarding the lack of in-depth analysis towards Cater. I feel like this was the perfect chance to delve into his character even if for a short while, but I guess the team had to limit themselves to a specific number of chapters, and decided to prioritise some things over the others.

Hopefully, when the novel of book 7 comes out(💀) we'll get more in-depth with each dream/characters. At least this is my guess after reading the first novel and snippets of the second, where I really enjoyed the extra details to the world and characters (ignoring the weird language translator spell that doesn't make any sense the more you look into it).

Buut we'll have to wait a long time for that, which I'm mostly fine with because I don't want a rushed product(though the wait is still a little painful😣)

On a side note, the Ace Attorney bit with the two Deuce idea is so genius I really wish it was real. Really put me in a mood to write it when I read it dndhejvd

Anyways! Sorry for the too long yap and wish you a good day/night!!

[You can read my full thoughts on the book 7 part 12 Cater and Deuce update here!]

Twst 2025 updates gonna be like book 7 chapter 20 part 34 section 56 paragraph 89 sentence 10 💀

Yeeeah, I feel like Cater's dream was relegated to being one of those "funny haha" dreams (*stares at Epel*) and didn't really examine his character in a new and/or meaningful way 😔 I'm not sure if there would be a satisfactory way for the devs to have us dream hopping to each of the casts' dreams without something being compromised, whether it be the pacing or the quality of the writing. Unfortunately, each character is only allotted so much time... so Cater wasn't able to have his character shine and we focused on some of the shallowest aspects of him, things we already know. You'd think that literally being in his dreamscape would reveal something... heftier (?) about him.

I don’t expect a full-on depresso Cater moment, but I’d at least have liked to have a little more than what we got. Like what if the OG Cater barging in at least acted a little more serious, or had glimpses of his “true” character peeking through? What if we got an actual explanation as to why Cater had his clone be his stand-in, like he was too emotionally out of it that day and needed time for himself?? What if OG Cater wore a normal Heartslabyul dorm uniform, indicating how he wants to be among the common people and be friends instead of the isolated ruler??? What if Cater wakes up because the Deuce imposter trial reminds him of his own inability to be “true” to himself??? We could have gotten WAY more.

LIGHT NOVEL, IT'S ON YOU TO SAVE THE DUMPSTER FIRE THAT IS THE TERRIBLE DREAM SEQUENCES 🤡 But even then, I have major concerns about the length of the book 7 light novel. They'd have to either cut each dream short to contain it all in a single volume OR extend it across multiple volumes in order to grant every dream the proper time and development they didn't get in the game. (I talk more about this topic here!) It sounds like a logistical nightmare no matter how you think about it... And yes, that translation spell makes no sense the longer you ponder it and it was not explained adequately-- Stay strong for the wait... (<- still has to finish reading the first volume of the light novel)

You have no idea how badly I want that double Deuce imposter trial to happen OTL IN FACT I WANNA DO MY OWN REWRITE (since I've actually written a Twst x Ace Attorney trial fic before!) TOO... Alas, holiday season is so busy + I have other things to write so if I do it at all, it might come out around the time the book 7 Heartslabyul update comes out in EN 😭

[celandeline]

Summer of Like // Farleigh Start x OC (1)

“Yes… New York, that’s correct. JFK, if that’s possible, but LaGuardia works too if… you’re sure the closest flight you have is next Monday?” I run a hand down my face, and flop back against my dorm bed, cell phone wedged between my shoulder and my ear. “Sure, fuck it, put me on a waitlist. Yes, call me if a seat opens up… yes, this number is the quickest way to reach me.” I stare up at the ceiling as the receptionist talks, her polite, Britishness, beginning to grate. “Yes, thank you. Bye.”

I snap my phone closed and toss it as far away from me as I can with a groan. It’s sweltering, it’s exam week, and I can’t get a fucking flight home to Brooklyn for the life of me. The dorm is half packed - clothes and shoes from the winter stowed away in trunks, along with all of the non-essentials (decor and trinkets and the like). The rest of my belongings are scattered around, collateral damage from the mess of the last weeks of school. I long for the streets of New York - I haven’t had a bodega sandwich in almost a year. “If I have to stay on this stuffy-ass pretentious campus for even a week longer than I have to I might just slit my wrists in the fucking bath.” I say, mostly to the ceiling. I am so tired of Cambridge. 

“Jesus, Evie.” 

I sit up to look at Venetia - my flatmate, and one of my only friends here. She’s one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen. She’s maybe the only person in the world that can make bottle blonde look high end. Somehow she toes the line between cute and sexy without seeming like she’s trying too hard - on anyone else, dark grunge eye makeup and a button nose would look silly, but on her… she’s like Helen of Troy in Saint Laurent sunglasses. She's a good angel sent to make my year at Cambridge so, so much easier. It’s hard to make friends as an American exchange student at one of the most pretentious English schools in the world. Harder still when Venetia is also something of an outcast herself. I don’t care much though - she’s worth ten of these other British schoolgirls. “Sorry.”

She barely glances up at me, too busy filing her nails into rounded almond points at my desk, little flakes of old nail polish falling all over my schoolwork scattered there. “It’s your own fault for leaving it until exam week.”

“I know.” I say. I really should have booked a flight back home sooner, but it’s hard to remember to do anything else when you’re drowning in schoolwork and vodka at the same time. “I just didn’t think it would be such a pain in the ass to get home. I mean really, it’s like the whole fucking country’s just decided to go to New York. I’m on seven waitlists to fly economy, V. And I still have finals to do.” 

She grins down at her fingernails. “New Yawk.” She snickers, mocking my accent. “Still so American, even after a whole year here.”

“Might be two years if I don’t get a flight home.” I grumble, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. “What color are you doing this time?”

Venetia holds up two bottles - one a dark gray, one more of a silver. “I’m thinking gunmetal underneath, silver on top.” She says conversationally, turning back to the desk to focus on her nails. “You could always come to Saltburn with me.”

“What?” I say, taken aback by her nonchalance. “V- c’mon. I can’t just go live in your family’s castle at the last minute, I mean, we leave campus in like two days.” These rich kids - I swear they think anything can happen at the snap of their pretty fingers. And she does have quite pretty fingers. 

She shrugs. “It’s not that big of a deal - I mean, Felix brings someone home every year. Never the same person either.” She grins. “He’s a bit of a slut - in that way.”

“We leave campus in two days.” I repeat. Venetia - for all her lovely qualities - sometimes forgets about the logistics of things. I mean, if I was fuck-off rich, I’m sure I would too, but there just isn’t enough time for arrangements to be made for me to stay at her family’s mansion. It’s a generous offer, but… “I don’t want to just show up V, that’s so presumptuous. Rude, even. And I’ve got a whole year's worth of stuff with me, I can’t just lug it all to your house.”

“But you so totally can.” Venetia says, swiping nail polish over her fingertips. “There are at least six bedrooms that no one uses Evie, it would be no problem at all. And there’s more than enough room for all your luggage. Really, the house is just begging to have more people in it - why do you think Mum throws so many parties? The place is too empty - and it’s so boring over the summer, really you’d be doing us both a favor Evie, please?” She turns her head, batting her long eyelashes at me. 

God, she’s pretty. Too pretty for her own good. But- “I don’t want to intrude - I wouldn’t know anyone but you, V. It’d be awkward.” I say. I really would rather not feel out of place for a whole summer when I could be eating delicious bodega sandwiches with my friends that I haven’t seen in a year. 

“Please Evelyn?” She pleads again, this time using my full name. She only ever uses my full name when she really wants something. “It’s the perfect solution - you don’t have to stress about getting home, and I’ll finally have a friend to bring for the summer. I’ll have someone to talk to besides Felix and whatever poor soul he brings.”

“I can’t, V. It’s too last minute - I don’t want to intrude. I can’t.” I say. 

She sighs, a long, drawn out thing that sinks into my chest and twists around my heart in that way that only she can do. My determination to go home falters. Would it be so bad to stay in England for the summer? I’m already here - it’s not like I’d have to fly (and fight with the airline). The whole point I came to study abroad at Cambridge was to experience English culture, and what better way to do it than to stay in a giant fuck-off castle for a few months? And she seems so… desperate, really. I’ve always sort of been able to tell that she’s never had many friends just by the way she acts - and how the other girls here act around her - and the way she talks about how her brother always brings someone home makes me think that she’s a little jealous. 

“You’re sure it wouldn’t be too last minute?” I ask. 

Her face lights up, and she turns around in her seat again. “Not at all - the guest bedrooms are always made up anyway, it wouldn’t even be an issue. And it would be such fun to have you there, Evie - Mum will be so excited that I’ve brought a friend home. And Farleigh will finally have another American to talk to - it’ll be great, promise!”

next part >

[dangermousie]

Your JoL posts have been amazing. I've loved posting my thoughts on them at times.

What do you think are Qing di's intentions about Fan Xian? Does he intend to let him succeed him as the emperor?

Thank you!!! I am so obsessed with this drama - to find something that is super smart AND emotionally engrossing at the same time is super rare but this really hits the spot for me.

Re: the emperor. You know, it wouldn’t surprise me if the emperor despite his brains is like many otherwise brilliant absolute rulers and doesn’t truly believe there will be an end to his rule and that he’s bound by mortality (think of England’s Elizabeth I, an amazing ruler who refused to even contemplate appointing heirs properly because it would mean her reign would end sometimes. Or Louis XIV of France who fought half of Europe and built Versailles and ruled for over 70 years and supposedly said “apres moi le deluge.” Or even the founder of the Qin Dynasty who was the first to unite China and yet was so obsessed with immortality his hastened his death taking mercury elixirs.)

I honestly wonder if some of his obsession with finding the Divine Temple isn’t just to get whatever weapons and secrets it may have or even see if he can take down something he can’t control but to see if there is a way to prolong life. If my theory that he’s a grandmaster is correct and Grandmaster Ye said other grandmasters don’t view themselves as human any more then why not escape the human limitation of death too?

But even if that’s not the case, I do not think he’s grooming Fan Xian to take over. First logistics - he’d have to appoint him on his deathbed because there ain’t no way he’s making him a Crown Prince and it’s not because he’s not in the royal family formally (face it, if the emperor wanted to manipulate things so Fan Xian never formally becomes a Fan and is somehow taken into the imperial family, he’d figure it out) or because to remove an appointed crown prince and son of the empress at that is a big deal (because ditto.)

It’s because the Emperor will never allow his Crown Prince to be someone TOO talented, it’s too much of a threat. Crown Prince is bloody minded enough to be an emperor but he’s only the third smartest out of his five sons (and frankly, third Prince is so young the jury is out on how smart the kid is so maybe he’d be smarter too.) Emperor wants someone he can control without expending titanic effort on the matter. Not someone with too many of his own ideas and a way of getting them rammed through.

The emperor is fond of Fan Xian insofar as it’s possible for him to be fond of anyone (which ain’t much - you get the sense he had more of that capacity when young though even there nothing mattered as much as power; if he’s 100% not related to FX’s mom’s death in any capacity I will be shocked) but as his comment in that pitchpot scene after CPP left indicates, to him strong feelings are a nuisance and stupidity and burden. So he’s fond when it costs him nothing important and is even beneficial but the moment Fan Xian steps out of line enough to be an issue or, even worse, the moment he decides he can’t control Fan Xian, he would not hesitate to murder him, fondness or not (in a way, FX loving so many people so much is Fan Xian’s safety - look how many levers the Fans and Wan’er let alone his followers like WQN give the emperor.) Actually, Fan Xian doesn’t even have to do anything super wrong; if the emperor thought it would give him a big enough advantage, he’d probably murder all his kids on the walls of the palace on the “I can make more” principle a la the father of William Marshal.

Ok I blabbed a whole novel but short version: I’d be surprised if he’s grooming Fan Xian to be the next emperor which is just as well since FX would be miserable as one and I hope at the end he gets his wish to live a joyful life traveling the world with Wan’er and enjoying the peace with his family.

Ultimately, I think the emperor wants to use him like he uses everyone and everything to achieve his goals and make his reign stronger and his kingdom stronger and balance the other princes in a stalemate (if his children fight with each other they are too busy to fight him) and just use him use him use him to the utmost just how he does with everyone else.

[moregraceful]

Up at mfing 5:20, 50 minutes before my alarm, and forgot again that Philly traffic is a JOKE and it does not take a million hours to drive to the airport...personal postin' to kill time

First official day of work yesterday and immediately learned it's an athleisure workplace....do you think this is what finally cures me of wearing skinny jeans and sweaters...omg. Up late last night because I had to wash all my joggers lmao. Also had to buy some neutral-colored no logo sweatshirts. And I was up on a ladder doing tasks for a while and at one point looked down to see an entire class of u6 kids staring up at me like 👁️👁️ I love being employed and around people!! idk if it's a weird sideways step on my LinkedIn work history, I'm having a great time not being at home!!

Was trying to figure out what I wanted a "congratulations on your federal employment termination!!!" cake to look like for my friend who is getting fired by Elon if not today than shortly, but I think I am just going to give the bakery carte blanche $$$ for the gayest trans-est most anti-american cake they can put together that says "fuck Elon" somewhere on there. Philly people, if you ever need a really good vegan bakery, Crust Vegan Bakery is amazing. yes it's in Manayuk but it's worth it, I think we've gotten two? three? of their cakes so far lmao at this point we're just touring their cake menu.

Committed to a school this week 😶 unsurprisingly the one that offered free tuition + money on top of that. Gonna be a difficult first year logistically but I'm determined to make it work. Already looking at their spirit shop for t-shirts and sweatshirts, it's all gonna get me killed in Philly, but I'm excited and want to carry that feeling for a while!! And it's the school with the really good D1 hockey program lol when I make NCAA hockey my entire personality, mind ur business.

Was talking to a dad at church last week about his daughter getting into a magnet school for the performing arts. He said he gets choked up when he thinks about how excited she is for school next year, because she was never excited about school before, she just put her head down and did it, but when they toured the school he saw her just light up. And that one got me so bad, I miss working with teens so much. But also made me really happy because that's how I feel too!! I'm excited to go to school too!! I haven't been excited for something that is going to be so academically rigorous and exhausting possibly ever; library school was a joke and I was too mentally ill to enjoy my undergrad, so it is very special to be like this is going to be very difficult but I feel like I am going to have a good time.

It's a very exciting time in my life. Happy to be alive in ways I have not been in years.

[luckyroll3]

Crimson Lights: Chapter 34

Masterlist

As we near our departure for Korea, Chan calls us together at the warehouse one final time to discuss the importance of our approach. "JYP will have eyes and ears everywhere, so the element of surprise is crucial," he warns. "On the night of the attack, we must be swift and silent, like shadows in the night. Seungmin, can you run through the travel plans."

“Yeah. I’ve arranged for an off the books flight to Seoul for Felix, Hyunjin, and Changbin on Thursday night. There’s no flight plan, the captain is one of ours, and the appropriate folks on both ends have been paid off. I’ve updated the passports for each of your aliases so that if you do get stopped for any reason, it will show that you came on one of the commercial flights. That info will be in your inboxes by tomorrow morning. When they arrive, the five us will solidify all the on-the-ground logistics. Then the next day, we have another private jet with an official flight plan for the rest of you. As far as JYP knows, Chan is bringing Kay to visit Korea and using it as an opportunity to also have an in-person catch up with JYP, Minho is there for Chan’s protection as usual, and Han goes where Min goes. It shouldn’t trigger any flags.”

"Great. Thanks Seungmin,” Chris says. “On Sunday night, we’re a go. Hyunjin, Han, Felix, and Seungmin, you'll take out JYP's top enforcers," Chris continues, his gaze intense as he walks through the roles. "Jeongin, you’ll stay at the house to disable the security systems and be our all-seeing eye. Minho, Changbin, you're with me - we'll make our way to JYP's compound. We’ll drop Bin off a mile from the property and he’ll continue on foot. Minho will attend the meeting with me, as JYP will expect him to be there, while Binnie takes out the security team. Seungmin, as you’ll be closest to the compound, when you eliminate your targets, head there and help Bin. Then the two of you will meet Min and me in the inner sanctum to confront JYP and put an end to him once and for all. If everything goes as planned, we’ll all meet back at the SKZ house."

“Everything will go as planned, boss,” Changbin says as he wraps an arm around Chris’ shoulder.

Chris nods. “So how’s everyone feeling?”

The room is quiet for a few beats before Han speaks. “I’m honestly a bit scared,” he says softly. “We’ve been very meticulous with our plan and I know we got this, but still…”

“I am too, Ji,” Chris says as he looks Han directly in his eyes. “But I think it’s good to have a healthy amount of fear. It helps to keep us honest. And on our toes.” I’m proud of Chris for leaning into his vulnerability like we had talked about.

Felix, Jeongin, and Changbin all nod in agreement.

“I know you three are fearless,” Chan says with a chuckle, referencing Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Minho. “But that’s good. You bring balance to our team.”

“Shit! Well I’m fucking terrified!” I say loudly. “I’m not sure what I’m doing with you assholes, or how I got roped into going to Korea as part of the decoy plan. How much am I getting paid when you become king of everything?” I raise an eyebrow at Chris.

The room erupts in laughter, their eyes shining with amusement.

“You fucking love us,” Hyunjin teases as he reaches over to roll my chair closer to his and throws his arms around me in a tight hug, squeezing the air out of my lungs. “And don’t even try to deny it.” I struggle to breathe as he squeezes tighter. Beneath their laughter, I feel a wave of warmth and gratitude wash over me for these men who have become my family. Hyunjin turns to the rest of the group with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Should we tattoo her before we leave?” he asks them animatedly.

“Absolutely,” Minho says simultaneously with Han’s loud, “Yes!”

“Maybe you should ask her if she wants a tattoo first,” Felix interjects, always one to check for consent. “Do you want one, Kay?” he asks playfully as he turns to me, both of his perfectly sculpted eyebrows arched in question.

The thought of getting a tattoo sends shivers down my spine. I hate needles despite working with them all the time. “No!” I exclaim as I push Hyunjin off of me while shaking my head emphatically.

“We can do it right now,” Changbin says with a grin. “We have the equipment around here somewhere.”

My heart races at the mention of a tattoo gun and I glare at Changbin. “Fuck no!” I snap, my tone laced with warning. “You come near me with a dusty tattoo gun and I will fuck you up, Seo Changbin.” My threat is met with laughter from the group, but deep down I know they would never actually do anything to harm me like that.

“Shit, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her scared of anything,” Minho says, his tone filled with surprise and admiration.

“Well except for that time Chan cut off those dudes’ heads….” Han mutters under his breath

“Han!” Minho, Changbin, Felix, and Jeongin all scream in unison, shocked at his comment, while Seungmin and Hyunjin die of laughter.

“Ohhhkaaaay!” Chris raises his hands in a calming gesture as he chuckles. “That’s enough of that. No one’s getting tattooed tonight and we don’t need reminders of that day.” He winks at me and I can’t help but laugh along. “Let’s call it a night.”

As we filter out of the boardroom, Minho playfully scolds Han, “You know you don’t need to say every thought that pops into your head, jagiya.”

“Yeah, I know. But sometimes I just can’t help it.”

“You good?” Chris asks me as we get in the car.

“I’m fine.” I lean over the console to give him a quick kiss. “But just so I’m clear, there will be no tattoos!”

He laughs. “I got it, babe. Not a fan of needles, huh?” He grabs my hand.

“Absolutely not!” I say with a sigh.

“I solemnly promise to keep all needles, tattoo or otherwise, away from you.” He brings our hands to his chest as he swears, then lowers them to the console.

“I appreciate that. My defender against all things sharp.” I lean back against the headrest. “Good job in there tonight. Being all vulnerable and shit. How’d it feel?”

“Really good. Thank you for encouraging me.” He locks eyes with me for a few seconds with a dazzling smile before returning his gaze to the road.

As I get lost in his dimples, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out of my pocket, frowning when I see the caller ID. Lauren.

“What? Who is it?” Chris asks.

“It’s Lauren,” I whisper, as if she can hear us. Chris lifts his eyebrows in surprise as I accept the call. “Hey Lauren,” I say at a normal volume. “What’s up?”

“Kay…” Her voice is thick with tears. “Are you busy right now?”

“No. Chris and I are just driving home. What’s going on?”

“I… I really need to talk. Can we meet up? Please?”

I hesitate for a moment, glancing over at Chris. “Sure,” I say finally, my stomach churning with unease. “Just tell me where and I’ll have Chris drop me off.”

“How about The Titanic?” she sniffles. “Seems appropriate. See you in twenty?”

“I’ll see you there.” The line goes dead and I stare at my phone, my mind racing. I’m not sure what Lauren walks to talk about, but I have a bad feeling about it.

“What’s up?” Chris asks as he squeezes my hand.

“I don’t know. She says she wants to talk. And she was crying.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Can you take me to Titanic?” He nods. “Has Changbin said anything to you about her?”

“Not really. But I know he was planning to meet up with her a couple days ago.”

“You think he broke up with her?”

“Probably.”

I find Changbin’s name and message him.

Kay: Hey. Did you break up with Lauren?

Changbin: Why?

Kay: She just called me. Wants to meet.

Changbin: Ohhhh. Yeah, I broke up with her a couple days ago. Are you planning on seeing her?

Kay: Thanks for the fucking heads up! On my way to meet up with her now.

Changbin: Hope it goes well. 😬 Come see me later? Maybe even spend the night???

Kay: Maybe…

“What’d he say?” Chris asks when I set the phone on my lap.

“He broke up with her.” I sigh deeply. “Fuck. I feel like a shitty friend.”

“Well…”

“Hey, you’re supposed to make me feel better!” I slap his shoulder, causing him to flinch and laugh.

“I”m not the one fucking her boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend now I guess.”

“Woooooooow,” I say dramatically. “You are a dick! You’re the one who encouraged me to.”

He shrugs, causing me to pull my hand away from his and cross my arms over my chest.

“I’m kidding,” he says as he grabs my hand again. “It’s not your fault, but you have to deal with it because you became friends with her.”

“Fuck,” I say under my breath.

“It will be fine.” He kisses the back of my hand.

“We’ll see.”

Fifteen minutes later, we pull into the parking lot of the bar.

“I’ll wait for you. I can even send you an urgent message in half an hour, to get you out?” I nod. “Come here.” He leans over and kisses me gently. “It will be fine,” he reiterates.

The bar is dimly lit and smoky. I spot Lauren immediately as I walk through the entrance; she’s hunched over a drink at a corner table, her head resting in her palm.

“Hey,” I say softly, sliding into the seat across from her.

She looks up at me, her eyes red and puffy from crying. “Hey,” she whispers.

Before I can say anything else, the waitress stops by the table. “Can I get you something, sweetheart?”

“Hendricks and tonic, with a lemon, please. Thanks.” She nods as she walks away. “You good?” I ask Lauren.

She shakes her head as she takes a sip of her cocktail. “Changbin broke up with me,” she says softly, her voice breaking on a sob. “He… he said it wasn’t me, it was him. But I don’t understand…. I thought things were going so well between us.”

I reach over and take her hand. My heart aches with guilt for Lauren, but I can’t muster the courage to tell her the truth. “I’m so sorry, Lauren,” I murmur. The waitress does a walk by, dropping off my drink as she passes. I take a sip. “I know how much you cared about him.”

She squeezes my fingers, her eyes searching mine desperately. “Did he say anything to you? About why he ended things? You’re one of his best friends, Kay. If anyone would know, it’s you.”

I swallow hard, my throat suddenly dry. I take another sip. “No,” I lie, the word tasting bitter on my tongue. “He hasn’t talked to me about you in weeks. I had no idea he was going to break up with you.” At least this part is true, I think to myself.

Lauren’s shoulders slump, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. “I was falling in love with him,” she whispers, her voice raw with anguish. “I hadn’t met someone like him in a long time. I really thought he might be the one, you know?”

I nod, my own eyes stinging with unshed tears. “I know,” I murmur, my heart breaking for her. I can’t imagine how I would feel if Chris ended things with me. “I’m so sorry, Lauren. I wish there was something I could do to make it better.”

She shakes her head, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “There’s nothing anyone can do. I just… I don’t understand how he could just throw away everything we had like it meant nothing to him. It just feels so sudden and cruel.”

My teeth sink into my lower lip, my stomach churning with anxiety. I know exactly why Changbin had ended things. But I also know Changbin well enough to know he’s not a heartless person. “Lauren, I know this is hard. But trust me, Bin is not like that. You were important to him. I can guarantee that he put a great deal of consideration into this decision. It’s possible he was trying to spare you more pain in the future, when your feelings might have grown stronger and your emotions had deepened even further.”

“I know you’re right. He’s a good guy. He’s very sincere and thoughtful, always has been.” she says, her voice soft and somber. She releases my hand and sits back in the booth, taking a deep breath. “But damn, it just fucking hurts, you know.” She stares into her glass before she tosses it back, finishing the last of her drink and signals the waitress for another. I can see the pain etched on her face. “Enough about me. How are you and Chris?”

“We’re good,” I reply with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. “He’s taking me to Korea this weekend.”

“How sweet,” Lauren says wistfully, a hint of jealousy creeping into her tone. The waitress drops off her fresh drink, the ice clinking against the sides of the glass. “It’s so great that the two of you were able to get right back on track after your break.”

“I didn’t think that we would get back together.”

Her eyebrows raise in surprise. “Really? But you two seemed so perfect. What exactly happened?” She takes a drink as her eyes scan me curiously, waiting for an explanation.

I take a couple gulps of my own drink. “I saw a side of him that I didn’t like. He transformed into someone else entirely. He actually kind of scared me. You know, he spent the first few months of our relationship trying to be perfect, so when he lost it, it felt like he was a completely different person.” I think back to the moment Han joked about earlier tonight and recall the fear and uncertainty that gripped me in those moments. “It shook me to my core.”

“I had no idea.” Lauren's eyes widen in shock. “He wasn’t violent with you, was he.”

“No. Never. Chris isn’t like that; he’s the sweetest.”

“Okay, good,” she says relieved.

“It’s more that he was hiding a part of himself that he hadn’t shared with me. And it was a lot to digest and process when I was exposed to it, so I asked for space to figure it out for myself. And he gave it to me. And now, he’s an open book. We both are. We don’t keep any secrets from each other.”

“Sounds like true love,” she says with a sigh as my phone vibrates.

“Speak of the devil,” I say as I hold up my phone. “It’s him. He finished his errand and he’s about to pull into the parking lot. I have to go,” I say apologetically. “Are you going to be okay?”

She nods, her eyes a bit dull from her alcohol consumption. “I will be. Go,” she mumbles, waving me away. “I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna call a Lyft right now.” She takes another sip of her drink. “Hey Kay?”

“Yeah?” I say as I ease out of the booth.

“I know that we were only friends through Changbin, but I would love it if we could still be friends too.”

I hesitate for a moment, torn between my loyalty to Changbin and wanting to try to be a good friend to Lauren despite the complications of my current relationships. “Sure,” I finally say. “Call me whenever. When I get back, we can hang.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that!” She stands up and throws her arm around my neck. “You’re a good friend.” When she releases me, I turn and flee, stopping first at the bar to pay Lauren’s and my tab.

As I climb into Chris’ SUV, he turns to me with a concerned expression on his face. “Soooo,” he starts, his eyebrows raised.

“She’s devastated. She was falling in love with him.”

Chris lets out a sympathetic sigh as his hand reaches for the gear shift. “Ah, poor thing.” He puts the car into drive and begins to navigate through the streets. We drive the rest of the way in silence, Chris occasionally taking my hand in his.

As he pulls onto the parking floors of our building, I turn to him. “Oh, by the way, I’m spending tonight with Bin.”

“What? Why?” he says surprised as he navigates into a parking space. He turns to me with a pout.

“He asked,” I say with a shrug. “Plus, I spent the last few nights with you.”

“And you’re getting back at me for being a dick earlier?” He raises an eyebrow.

“That too.” I smirk and give him a kiss on the cheek before getting out.

“You’re lucky I love you,” he says as we walk into the elevator. He swipes his fob, then also punches in the code for Changbin’s unit. He pulls me into him. “I’ll miss you tonight,” he whispers before kissing me deeply. He pulls away and stares in my eyes. “I’ll see tomorrow night?”

The elevator doors open to Changbin’s penthouse behind us. “Yeah,” I reply softly. “I love you.” I press my lips to his again for a quick kiss before pushing him away gently.

“I love you, too,” he calls out behind me as the doors close.

As I step out of the elevator and into Changbin’s apartment, darkness greets me. I kick off my shoes, pushing them to the side, and carefully make my way to his bedroom, guided only by the faint glow of my phone screen.

When I enter the room, the bathroom door suddenly opens and Changbin emerges, clad in a tight white tank top and black sweatpants that hug his muscular frame perfectly with his slim waist and juicy ass heavily on display. His hair is damp and tousled, and his black rimmed glasses sit askew on his nose.

“Hey you,” I say, causing him to jump slightly, his enforcer skills clearly evading him for a moment.

“Oh, hi! I didn’t expect you for another hour or so,” He says with a smile. He crosses over to me with open arms for a hug. I allow him to engulf me in a warm embrace, sinking in to feel his warm body against mine. “Hi,” he says more softly in my ear as we hold each other tightly. I bury my face into his chest, inhaling his familiar scent. We stay like this for a moment, wrapped in each other’s arms. Changbin pulls away reluctantly and gestures towards the bed. “Come sit with me.”

He takes my hand and leads the way. I sink into the plush mattress, crossing my legs in front of me as he settles in beside me. “How’d it go with Lauren?” he asks.

“She’s not doing too well. She had clearly been crying before I got there and sobbed a bit while we talked. She fell in love with you. Which is not hard to do.” I rest my hand on his chest.

He sighs. “I should have ended it weeks ago, but I didn’t want to hurt her. Looks like I ended up doing that anyway.” He shakes his head slowly, a somber look on his face. “What about the two of you?”

“We’re good for now, I think. She wants to stay friends. I told her that would be fine, in the moment, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. It’s probably not a good idea,” I say definitively.

“It’s probably not a good idea,” he echoes in a whisper. He kisses me gently. “Shower before bed?”

“Yeah,” I say with a nod. “I feel filthy.”

“I’ll be here.” He kisses me again. He settles into the pillows, takes out his phone and begins to scroll.

I quickly slip into the bathroom and strip off my clothes for a hot shower. The steam fills the room quickly and I take comfort in the warmth as I scrub away any trace of the day. When I step out, I see that Changbin has thoughtfully left a clean t-shirt and boxers on the counter for me. Between him and Chris, I’m not sure how they’re both so sweet, always thinking about the little things.

I towel off and slip into the fresh clothes before returning to the bedroom. The lights are now off and Changbin is already snuggled under the covers, his face illuminated by the soft glow of his phone screen.

As I slip beneath the covers next to him, he turns his phone screen off and sets it and his glasses on the nightstand. He pulls me close, wrapping his arms around my body, the heat from him counteracting the coolness of the sheets.

His chest presses against my back, and he nuzzles his chin into my shoulder. He takes a sniff. “Oh thank god,” he whispers. “You no longer stink.” I can hear the smile in his voice as he squeezes me tighter.

“Shut up! I never stink,” I protest playfully, jabbing him in the ribs with my elbow.

“Is that what you tell yourself?” His laughter echoes through the room, wiggling his fingers at my side.

I squirm and giggle as he tickles me mercilessly. “Stahp it,” I manage to gasp out between laughs.

Finally, he stops and brushes a curl from my face before cupping my chin and turning my head towards him. Without hesitation, he captures my lips in a deep kiss that makes me sigh.

I turn my body towards him and wrap my arms around his neck. Changbin’s hands roam down my back, pulling me even closer until there is no space between us. His hands slip beneath my boxers and cups my bare ass.

“Hmmm. No underwear?” he asks in between kisses as he squeezes my ass cheeks.

“You didn’t leave any for me,” I whisper back, slipping my tongue back into his mouth slowly, enjoying the velvety feel of his against mine as our tongues fight each other.

“Was he mad?” His kisses move to my chin and trail down my neck.

“Was who mad?” I ask confused, as I tilt my head to give him better access.

He pulls away just enough to look in my eyes. “Chan. When you told him you’d be staying the night here.”

“You really know how to shift the mood, huh?” I laugh.

“I’m just curious.”

“You’re worried about him not wanting to share.” I raise an eyebrow at him. He shrugs, his gaze dropping to avoid mine. I pause to study him for a moment, taking in the way his shoulders hunch in slightly and the faint crease between his eyebrows. “He was fine,” I say finally, breaking the tense silence. “More disappointed than angry. But he recognized that I’ve spent the last few nights with him, and he was okay with it. You know him better than me though. You think he’s lying when he says he’s fine with this?”

Changbin shakes his head, his dark hair shifting with the movement. “No. Channie doesn’t lie,” he says firmly. “If he says he’s fine with it, then he is.” He rests his forehead against mine. “I guess it’s more that my own insecurities are getting to me,” he whispers.

I reach up to cup his cheek, my thumb brushing against the soft skin. “Well I’m here,” I whisper back, followed by a light, quick kiss to his lips. “You don’t have to worry.”

Our lips meet in another gentle kiss before he speaks again. “I can’t help it.” He murmurs against my lips. “I feel like it’s a dream that I get to have you too. And I’m gonna wake up soon. Like this is too good to be true.”

“Sometimes I feel the same way… being able to have both of you. Let’s just enjoy it and not let our insecurities sabotage us. Okay?”

“Okay.” His lips meet mine in a reassuring kiss before he nuzzles our noses together.

I smile and turn back around, pulling his arms tight around me. His breath tickles my ears as he whispers I love you’s to me coupled with gentle kisses to the back of my neck. I close my eyes and focus on the warmth of his chest against my back, the softness of his lips against my skin, and the gentle rhythm of his breathing. My worries for the day slowly fade away as I succumb to his peaceful embrace and fall asleep.

The next morning, I’m woken by gentle kisses on my inner thighs. I stretch my arms overhead and slowly blink my eyes open. I look down to find Changbin between my legs, his puffy lips pressing kisses to my skin and working his way towards my core.

“Well this is certainly one way to start the morning,” I say groggily.

Changbin looks up at me and grins. “Morning,” he whispers before resuming his assault on my legs. I let out a soft moan as Changbin’s hands slide up my thighs, his fingers brushing against my skin in a teasing manner. His lips continue to graze up my inner thighs, leaving a trail of wet kisses in their wake. I can feel myself growing more and more aroused under his touch, my body yearning for more.

“Changbin,” I whisper, reaching down to tangle my fingers in his dark hair. “What are you doing?” He looks up at me and grins again, his lips glistening with saliva.

“You kicked the covers off in your sleep. Your legs were spread open and I couldn’t help myself. You mind?”

I smile back at him, “Not at all.”

“Good,” he whispers. He drops his head back down. When he reaches my boxers, he grabs them between his teeth and tugs them down, exposing my pussy. My hips instinctively buck towards him, desperate for any kind of contact.

Changbin chuckles and places a gentle kiss on my clit before sucking it into his mouth. I moan loudly at the sensation and pull his head even closer to me, urging him on.

He uses his tongue to tease and swirl around the sensitive bud. My breaths come in short gasps as the pleasure builds within me, and I can sense myself getting closer to the edge. I grind my crotch against his mouth.

But before I can reach my orgasm, Changbin pulls away with a smirk on his face. “Not so fast,” he says playfully before he pushes himself up, then straddles me. He looks down at me, his eyes warm. He pulls his tank top off, revealing his large, tattooed pecs, then he places his hands on the bed, framing my face in between them. He starts circling his crotch slowly against mine. I can feel his hard-on through his sweatpants.

“Tell me you want it,” he whispers, his voice low and seductive.

He leans down and captures my lips in a passionate kiss while grinding deliciously against me. I moan softly against his lips, causing him to smile.

“Say it,” he whispers again. “Tell me you want me inside of you.”

I bite my lip, lost in the sensation of his lips on mine and his body pressed against me. “Why are you teasing me?” I manage to whisper back.

“Because I can.” He kisses me again, then pulls away slightly to look at me, cocking an eyebrow.

“I want you inside me, Bin,” I say breathlessly, feeling my wetness pooling between my thighs, as I push his sweatpants down, exposing his dick and his ass. “Take these off,” I demand with a sly chuckle, eager for him to fuck me.

He pops a quick kiss on my lips, then hops off me to swiftly discard his sweatpants and boxer briefs. I can’t help but stare at his naked body as he stands in front of me, admiring his large muscles and smooth skin. He climbs back onto the bed, positioning himself between my legs.

He leans down and kisses me deeply, his hands trailing down my sides. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer, our bodies pressing against each other. I can feel his hard thick cock against my thigh and it only fuels my desire for him.

Changbin breaks the kiss, his lips slowly pulling away from mine so he can look into my eyes. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. The way he’s looking at me as he says it, with a mixture of love and desire, makes me blush.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” I reply with a smile, running my fingers through his hair.

He grins and moves his hand between us to position the tip of his dick at my entrance. Without another word, he slowly enters me, stretching me to accommodate his girth. His movements are slow and controlled, building up the intensity gradually. Each thrust sends waves of pleasure throughout my body and I find myself matching his rhythm, desperate for him. Changbin’s lips find mine again as we move together. Our collective moans grow louder as we get lost in each other.

As our pace quickens, Changbin breaks the kiss to press hot open-mouthed kisses along my jawline and down to my neck. His breath is hot against my skin as he bites and sucks on a particular sensitive spot on my neck that makes me arch into him even more. I feel like I’m losing myself in him all over again - every thrust, every touch, every kiss feels like pure bliss.

My fingers claw at his back, my nails digging in as I desperately try to keep up with his intensity. I can feel my own orgasm building, the sensation of his dick inside me, sliding in and out, overwhelming.

One of Changbin’s hands snakes between our bodies to caress my clit, sending electricity up my spine. A few minutes later, I cry out as every muscle in my body tenses at the same time before they all start trembling, leaving me feeling like a melting pool of jello. A few moments later, with one final thrust, Changbin shudders against me as a deep moan escapes him. He presses another kiss to my lips before pulling out and collapsing next to me on the bed. The only sound is that of our ragged breaths and pounding hearts.

As we lay there side by side, he grabs my hand before resting his head on my chest, his face turned upwards toward mine.

I stare up at the ceiling, my heart still racing, as I catch my breath. My thumb traces circles on the back of Changbin’s hand. Minutes pass and the shadows I’ve been watching start to shift, causing the room to grow brighter with the rising sun.

Changbin’s grip tightens on my hand as he breaks the calm silence in the room. “You know, you haven’t said it to me since the first night the three of us were together.”

I shift my gaze down to meet his. “Said what?” I ask, genuinely curious about what he means.

He looks away for a brief moment before locking his eyes back on mine. “That you love me,” he clarifies with a vulnerable expression.

Changbin’s words hang in the air between us, causing a bit of tension. I feel my heart start to race again as I process his words. I avert my gaze as I think back over the whirlwind of the past two weeks, reviewing my memories of our time alone, with Chris, or with other people. And I realize he’s right. I had been affectionate with him, but I hadn’t said it.

Our eyes meet again and I can see the vulnerability growing in his expression as he waits for my response. It’s in this moment that it registers for me where the insecurities he shared so openly about last night are stemming from. “Ah shit, Binnie!” I exclaim when it dawns on me.

He wasn’t worried about Chris being stingy; he was worried that I’d given myself to him only physically, but not emotionally.

“I’m so sorry, Changbin,” I say as I sit up, forcing him to do the same as well. He turns around to face me. I bring both of my hands to his face and stare directly in his eyes. “I fucking love you,” I say softly.

A bright smile breaks out on his face and he pulls me into a tight hug before pressing a lingering kiss on my forehead.

“I love you too,” he says gently against my skin. I slide my arms fully around his neck and we stay wrapped up in each other for a while longer before finally settling down on the bed again, cuddled up close together. “I know it’s not exactly the same as how you feel about Chan,” Changbin admits somberly after some time has passed, “but it’s nice to hear every once in a while.”

Chris had once described Changbin to me as the group’s bleeding heart. He had shared that Bin was highly emotional, but dimmed his own pain and hurt, in order to focus on ensuring everyone else felt better. Beneath that strong and loud exterior lies a sensitive soul who often internalizes his own feelings in order to prioritize the well-being of those around him. I couldn't bear the thought of him having to do that in our relationship as well.

“See,” I say quietly, “Soft and gooey on the inside,” recalling the conversation we’d had about bearded dragons a couple months ago.

“Shhh, don’t tell anyone,” he whispers back. We lull back into silence.

“You’re right. It is different,” I start softly as I rub his arm holding me. “But I might love you more, because I also love you for being my best friend. Chris doesn’t get to claim that…”

“I’m your only best friend,” he says with a confident grin before dropping a series of kisses on my neck.

I giggle as I’m tickled by his lips. “Damn right you are!”

About twenty minutes later, Changbin lets out a heavy sigh. “Okay,” he says as he reluctantly pushes himself up to a seated position. I watch as he stretches his arms above his head, his lean muscles flexing under the soft light of the morning sun. “I have to start my day,” he announces, running his hand through his messy hair. “There’s a lot I need to put in place before I head to Korea tonight.

I nod in understanding. “I also have to get to work and do the same for the clinic.” I slowly roll out of bed, reaching for the jeans I wore yesterday.

Changbin stands next to me and pulls me close to his naked body. “Thank you for spending the night,” he says softly. “I guess I’ll see you in Korea.” He kisses me forcefully before pulling away. “Have a good day at work.”

“Thanks,” I say. “I love you. Good luck with your planning.” I press another tender kiss on his lips before he heads to the bathroom. With a deep breath, I grab my bag and make my way towards the elevator and down to my apartment, ready to officially start my day.

[lemonhemlock]

I don’t have a problem with sex or nudity in media, and tbqh I think HOTD could benefit from some more of at least the first one 😭 But I keep coming back to the Aemond brothel scenes and I’m just confused. What do these achieve? Not that every scene needs to further the plot, I think it is fine to show dick if you want to show your dick! But both of these scenes do nothing for a character who already gets little time this season. Is it just to get him out of the way for B&C? He could have been literally anywhere, it’s not his job to hang in his room or with Helaena and her kids. Just for Aegon to make fun of him? There’s already a stronger setup there in him being blamed for Jaehaerys’s death in the first place, which somehow never happens and no one thinks to question where he was when the heir to the throne was killed in his place. It doesn’t even seem to be that we need to see Aemond particularly vulnerable, because the closest we get is his final scene with Helaena. So ? 🤷‍♀️

i think they're meant to very heavy-handedly imply that aemond is 1. a hypocrite (bc he also visits whores hahahahaha), 2. isolated from his family (bc he confesses some things to madam sylvi that he is not shown to talk about with his family) and 3. yes, provide a set-up so that aegon can make him of his choice of partner and, consequently, sexually humiliates him in the process.

i don't agree with this and found the scene very milquetoast. also no one made aemond storm out of there dick-out. it seems to me that, as far as social awkwardness goes, fully exposing yourself to many people would be worse than being discovered by a handful in a compromising situation. and where are his clothes? did he not undress in the same room with the madam? where is he going to get new clothes? is he just walking out the streets of king's landing butt naked? it's just dumb. logistically. who wrote this? david hancock, i am in ur walls.

the bare bones ideas are there, they're just executed in the most basic and boring way possible, simultaneously completely ignoring the main source of strife in the family: jaehaerys. why? because focusing too much attention on jaehaerys would make rhaenyra look bad. since it was an act done in her name and she refuses to punish the perpetrator (daemon). otherwise they can't have rhaenyra shamelessly berate alicent in the finale that she has to allow her to execute aegon because "a son for a son". if b&c isn't such a huge deal, then it doesn't count.

[swallowtail-ageha]

2 and 3 for Miquella!

2 Favorite canon thing about this character?

His character even his pre sote arc

He is (was) genuinely one of the kindest demigods around and did factually care about making a safe haven for other races because he did see in their plight what he and malenia went through. He cares so much about malenia to literally split off from his main faith and go live outside the continent.

And yet even then even at what might have been his possible kindest he was still willing to sacrifice people or manipulate them. The haligtree suicide bombers (i do not think they were mind controlled, but i do think their willingness to blow themselves up to begin with shows how the behavior was at least tolerated in elphael), the charm (which tbh in cases like leda aren't that egregious since it significantly makes them less dangerous, but in cases like ansbach, and mohg it is. Uh well. You Know).

He was someone who had a savior complex (which by itself wasn't even born out of arrogance but trauma) and put too many expectations onto himself, which combined with his empyrean status and his possibility to become a god created this... absolute monster of a mentality that ended up in him becoming more and more ruthless because he is the only one who can help those people, you see?

He is so sweetly tragic in the hero-of-a-greek-tragedy way. His fate was fucked from the start by being an empyrean and cursed, but his obsession to cure himself (and malenia) from his afflictions is what truly brought him to his end

3 Least favorite thing about this character?

I will be a PCR hater until i die. I hate it way less than i did when it was revealed canon (i remember fucking. Coping oh so hard in an unrelated discord server's voice chat LMAO) but i just think it's very. Shitty of a plottwist and a blatant retcon that ends up being the wish-ordered version of the twin princes from dark souls 3. Just... uuuugh. The thing is that i can *see* an interesting dynamic born out of this thing but the blatant add in just spoils everything for me

(And yes yadda yadda miquella/radahn paralleling marika/godfrey but sometimes parallelisms just aren't enough to make a story choice better, and while i am a huge parallelism fan myself i think its too heavy handed for me to enjoy lol)

Also not really a big fan of him apparently being at aeonia because its just a huge ??? timeline and logistic headache that might as well be called a plot hole

Thanks for the ask!

[vanillaxoshi]

Hiyaaa I'm that anon that asked if I could write something based on the art piece of Solar you did. Here it is! Trigger warning tho for implied selfharm and pretty decidely implied psychological trauma. Sorry for any typos too I typed this at 2 am after a very hard day :') --

There's a cold chilling breeze on a now barren rock in space. Or well logistics in the matter he's on a planet of course. With some patches of life of course other than the crater he'd made. But well..

..He still can't see. Can he?

There's only the blurred mess of grayed browns, of smoke filling his nose and every other sense.

Solar really should get away from it but alas he was told to stay put. And the last time he disobeyed... Yeah he shouldn't move.

Doesn't solve how his legs itch to move. Doesn't stop the nearly numbing pain in head as his eyes slowly knit and reshape itself. Doesn't stop his hands bleeding what's broken on the inside out.

Solar is tired. Solar is broken or he should be. Should be more broken then just his hands. Part of him deeply wished to be.

He'd be lucky if it happened after the stun he pulled. His master says he should be thankful to whatever Higher being decided to still bless him with eyesight after trying to claw them out.

For risking something so precious was the exact wording he used.

And Solar finds himself reliving the memory.

.

.

.

When he had done it, Retak'ka had asked why. Surprisingly not in anger as Solar expected. Already having preparations of excuses or reasons to why he'd not only done something so reckless but also that would completely make them lose everything they've worked for.

Everything Solar was made for.

Yet it didn't come. Just a simple quiet, "Why did you do it".

And much to Solars own stupid dismay that he even now kicks himself for time and time again. There were no words on his tongue, it threw him off and out of the loop.

.. Why did he do it.. he couldn't just admit why he did it. But he couldn't leave it unanswered.

"I'm testing if conscious harm done by me will do worse damage," he says this with blood dripping from his shut eyes. Acting as if his nails aren't caked with his own blood. Like he wasn't going to force them open for another go if his Master didn't walk in.

The lie.. was an obvious one. Even if his voice didn't waver. Every point of his said the opposite, his already blackened hands pulsed with an old pain and his eyes only exploded with it from the beginning.

Retak'ka knew it was a lie. There's no way he didn't.

But he silently hoped. He just wished silently to just let him have this. Just let him lie this easily without any repercussions.

And he did. He let him lie. 

He let him lie knowing full well what he did, knowing Solar still wouldn't be relieved. Not even as he cleans his hands from the blood and sits on the floor with his eyes not actively bleeding anymore after he’d cleaned up. 

"You shouldn't have done that", Retak'ka says to Solar, handing the Light Elemental a wet rag. Solar takes it and presses it on his eyes.

"A test like that is much too risky, even with the.. curious idea behind it"

"Tests always have risks to take."

"Not if they risk something precious and personal"  he hears

Solar wanted to rebuke that about all the risks he's taken. By using Solar's power so.. so openly. After being kept hidden for stars, know how long. For all the risk Retak'ka is doing by basically kidnapping the other Spirits. It was ludicrous!

It was disgusting to even think about but.. but Solar kept his mouth shut. He didn't say anything but a quiet "hmmm"

It was easier that way. Easier to just... take it? No and yes. But it was also easier to just.. keep quiet. Be silent and follow orders. It'd only quite literally harm him more in the long run in more ways than one if he disobeyed.

He feels a hand on his head, and Solar has half the mind to recoil from the touch but doesn't.

"You are precious to me Cahaya"

That catches Solar more off guard. He.. hasn't used his real name in a long while. Nor has he openly ever shown affection like this. Not like Sir Tok Kasa or Gempa..

Solar tenses. And he doesn't know why, realistically he should be calmer. He isn't getting punished, he's not needing to explain himself on why he did other than what was said before.. So why is so.. fearful?

"So please don't do this again."  There were words left out of that sentence. But Solar only nodded. His vocal cords refused to do as they were intended and speak.

So he forces himself to at least stop being so fretful and calm down. It doesn't work but he tries.

..."yeah alright I won't do it again." His voice was quiet but any louder he felt would ruin something. What it is he has no clue, but it's something.

"Good" There was a ruffle of his hair before he heard footsteps leave the room.

.

.

.

Solar snaps out of the memory blinking. There's a familiar pounding behind his eyes as he instinctively reaches up to itch them but stops.

There are tears welling in his eyes. And he's realizing how crying. Yet the Light Spirit can only feel a numbing somber he's felt way too many times to count anymore.

His world used to be light itself both metaphoric and literal.

Solar used to be happier.

Cahaya used to be happier.

He's the light, supposedly having the power to create warmth for others. Something to be a beacon of hope for, dangerous but loving ultimately. He used to be those.. and still he can't help but mourn it. What he used to be.

Cahaya.

Solar was Cahaya but.. not anymore. He couldn't return to those times even if he wanted to.

Which he does. But he doesn't have a choice in the matter.

But still..

Cahaya cries tears of sorrowful golden rays. He's crying liquid glow of what he used to be. And he can't see anymore, the once blurred mess of browns, just filled with his tears.

This land he ruined.. helped ruined. It used to be green, part of him thinks Daun would've loved it... but now much like him. It's barren. Empty.

He hears footsteps and doesn't bother trying to wipe his face.

"Your crying," is the only thing he hears as his master stops by his side.

"Duri.. would've liked this place I think. I just miss a little"

Not a lie. It's not a lie he kept some things to himself. Was it?

"We'll be okay Cahaya"

No they wouldn't. No he wouldn't. Not after this, not after everything the Light Spirit had done and would keep doing. Not even after death.

"You are my precious tool, there's nothing to worry about. Just do as your told and I promise you'll get what you need"

Need.. what did Solar even need or want anymore.

Manipulation freaking manipulation

RETAKKKAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAA

Sheesh, Retakka is so- menacing?? So- malicious?? So- just- i want to push him

Cahaya and trauma!!! He will never eescape it in this blog

This is such a wonderful beautiful fic

Would it be bad if i made this canon to this au??

[godihatethiswebsite]

Thoughts about your omegaverse fic:

Is Price a part of this polycule?

I feel like the other omega knows what's going on. I don't think the guys would lie to them, so now I'm wondering if the next contact we get is actually from the other omega. And I'm so curious how territorial they'll be.

I find it strange that Reader knows the only way to break a mating bond is a soul bond or whatever (I'm sorry, I can't remember what it's called in this fic, I've read way too much soulmate AU) but now that Reader has LITERALLY FOUND their soul people, it hasn't occurred to Reader that it's their free ticket out of hell? And the only conclusion I can draw is that they see themselves as so undeserving/filthy (and the other omega as the deserving one) that they can't imagine afflicting other people with a permanent tie to them.

Or MAYBE because Reader is so acutely aware of what it's like to be forced into a bond against their will, the idea of doing that to someone else feels too abhorrent to consider, even when the person seems open to it. I wish Reader just had some space to breathe, and figure out who they are and what they want apart from suffocating links to people they don't know! I wish I could slap a patch on their skin and give them a break for a day!

If Reader did get free from their abuser via the soul bond, would he come for Reader? I can totally see him trying to kill them if that happens. (Also how much fucking energy does he have every day to force such a well of hatred down the bond that it sucks Reader dry like that? Like dude, give it a rest)

OH. You know what solve everything? These guys need to go kill that Alpha. THEN Reader can make an informed decision. Yep, that's the answer. You should totally suggest it to them.

Why yes, Void. I will drop the absolute nothing I am doing right now to indulge the huge wall of text you sent my way 🤣❤️

First off, you bet your sexy ass he is ;)

I can neither confirm nor deny the goings on in the pack house and the encounters that follow >> but there will absolutely be more info on points three and four coming soon...

I will say though that the times the bond starts acting up on her isn't always made conscientiously. A lot of the things she goes through are moreso just from the physical strain of being separated from her bonded over such a long distance for a long enough time. At this point they can only really 'feel' each other occasionally (he mostly just fucks with her when he can sense enough powerful emotions over the bond to send a bit of feedback - like when she found her mates and had them brutally ripped away from her) The rest is just the price she paid for leaving her abuser. Even if he was a caring alpha she'd still be going through the ailments that plague her.

I realize I've got a couple loose threads hanging as far as the logistics of my world, but I'm just trying not to shove everything down people's throats all at once. Just a healthy smattering of lore here and there!

And I'll get right on that then, shall I? :)

[sol-consort]

I actually would like the concept of being the only human in a crew for a Mass Effect game (maybe a smaller standalone game instead a full on main story one) but that may just be because I always preferred the alien characters over the humans in Mass Effect. No clue what the plot would be but for smaller game maybe hostile creature on board like Alien but I’m just thinking that because I’ve binged the Alien movies

But outside plots what would be your top three alien species in Mass Effect you’d want to be stuck with on a ship? I think Quarian, Asari, and Krogan would be mine

Dude, that's an absolute nightmare combo—for the quarian, at least. They're 100% getting sick every other day.

Krogans have heat and ruts, so....there is that. Oh, and the asari is 100% boning them, like you and the qaurian are going to be thirdwheeling 90% of the time.

It's going to like one of those drama reality tv shows, not one of those people gets along.

I mean, I do like humans a lot. Half the human kink stuff is stuff I genuinely find attractive in other humans. I am my own main source of filth, I would absolutely hate being the only human in a ship.

But if I had no other choice...hmm. My brain is just turning this into a list of aliens I want to bone rather than thinking about the logistics.

Well, I don't want to be charged with involuntary manslaughter, so turians and qaurians are off the table. The knowledge I could accidentally poison one of them by my mere existence is too haunting + I'm a curious creature with grubby fingers and will touch all of their stuff and food.

I would actually enjoy being stuck with a hanar on a ship. Toning out people trying to convert you into their religion comes naturally to me. Not to mention how refreshingly polite and well-behaved they are! Hanar forbid animal fighting sports in their entire planet because it lowers empathy! I love the hanar so much, aaa. I wanna get close enough to one to learn their soul name. They're so pretty and pink and jellyfish, my beloveds <33

A drell, though? No. I don't want them to feel subservient to the hanar, but also, I don't want to get drugged each time I used a spoon they haven't washed properly. It's a shame, I adore their raspy voice, but even touching one will give you a rash, so yeah.

I've always wanted to kiss frogs since I was a little human, not in search of princes but because I found frogs pretty and felt bad that people would only kiss them in hopes of them turning into something else rather than kiss them for them, so i swore to kiss any frog I saw. Now I'm older and realise the health complications and risks—that what living with a drell would be like, kissing a frog every day.

Elcor absolutely yes! They're big majestic elephants and I love elephants and I love their clear way of speech and I find them so adorable and I wanna be friends <33

I'm still not over the asari being an eldritch abomination that alters your perception of reality, so absolutely not. Plus, most of them aren't as nice or humble as liara. Instead, they're snotty and often look down on humans for being the youngest, newest species. I'm not bunking with one! They freak me out.

Salarians? Absolutely not. They only require one hour of sleep and have a perfect memory. They can't be gaslight into thinking it's their turn on the chores. They will be up ALL NIGHT every single day. They will wake me up at 3am. to continue an argument from 2 weeks ago. Plus they really dislike the eclor and I don't want them being mean to my favourite guys :( or else I'll slap a bitch.

Korgans? Fuck no. Anything with any heat cycle is not stepping foot in my world. Go deal with your rut elsewhere! I don't even wanna think about it. otherwise they'd be so chill and nice...albet too strong. Krogans need to go I'm sorry.

Angara? No, because I'd feel too bad separating them from their family. BPD and other emotional constipation things make me the worst person to deal with to an angara bc I would legit rather die than acknowledge any feeling ever. They're too emotionally intelligent and open for me, It will be frustrating for us both bc I will look for hidden bad meanings in their sincere worda and kind actions, and they'll take all my impulsive words and actions to heart. Also, I'm very touch repulsed, hug me, and I'll claw your eye out.

Now, you'd think, okay, there are no species left??

AND YOU'D BE WRONG.

The best roomates! The geth!

They're built helpers! they take care of the chores, they stay in a dark room like a hermit connected to the web, you barely hear a beep from them.

Besides the risk of shattering my skull if I accidentally bump into them in the middle of the night in a dark hallway, everything else is very dandy.

So here you have it:

Hanar

Elcor

Geth

That's the realistic version.

Now if we're talking about my fantasy ideal alien foursome roommates dating sim:

Turian

Drell

Angara

[ghost-town-story]

FebruarOC Day 4: Divo

(I'm gonna blame this one being late on Divo being stubborn and google translate being a butt lol)

I jolt awake, my heart racing and cold jitters of panic still skittering across my skin. The room is dark, but there’s just enough light coming through the window to illuminate the walls of my room. Over the sounds of my own panting breaths, I can hear Coli snoring in the other bed.

But despite the familiar reassurance of being at home, back in my own bed, I can’t shake the cold fear still circling my chest, squeezing tight and making it hard to breathe.

Before I can stop and think, my phone is in my hand and the wonderfully familiar number is dialed and ringing. Two seconds later, my brain catches up, and I remember that Coli is asleep only a few feet away and I absolutely do not want to wake him up.

But before I can hang up the call, it connects.

“Estrella.” Toni yawns. “Querido. ‘Sup?”

Just the sound of his voice is enough to make me feel a little better, the ice in my chest melting in the warmth of his sunshine.

“Hold on,” I whisper as I slide out of bed.

“Mmmkay.”

As I creep through the room and slip out the door, I can hear Toni rustling on the other end, likely sitting up to avoid falling back asleep in the silence. I can picture him perfectly, his hair messed up and sticking to his cheek, eyes barely open as he leans against his knees, Clove tucked up against his side, and dio mio I never knew it was possible to miss somebody this much.

I close the door behind me and let out a breath of relief. “Okay. Hi.”

“Hi. Whas’up?” Toni still sounds half asleep.

I bite the inside of my lip. This is what, the third, fourth time I’ve called him in the middle of the night? And it’s obviously bothering him, though he’s far too sweet to snap or say anything, but he’s probably so tired of me and my problems, and—

“Estrella.”

My breath finally resumes in a sharp gasp.

“You gotta use your words querido,” Toni says, his voice marginally less sleepy-sounding now. “I may be talented at many things, but mind reading isn’t one of them.”

I let out a huff that’s almost laughter, heading down the hallway to get away from the bedrooms, to avoid waking anybody else with my goddamn nightmares. “Gotta get on that.”

“Mmmm it’s on the list.” Toni yawns again. “It’s a very long list though, so until then, I’m afraid you’re going to have to tell me what’s going on.”

I scoff as I reach the living room and practically throw myself down in an armchair. I can see the clock on the stove from here, burning steadily at just past 1 am.

The guilt spirals through me again. I hate how much I need Toni, how much I’ve been using him as a crutch to avoid dealing with anything. But I can’t bring myself to hate the way even just his words wrap around me like a warm blanket, soothing something in me that I never realized was freezing.

“Do I need to resume planning on how to break into your apartment?” Toni asks.

“No,” I mutter.

Toni stays silent, waiting.

I let out a long breath and press my cheek against the fabric of the armchair. “Nightmare,” I finally admit. “Again.”

“Mmm, sounds like I do need to break into your apartment,” Toni says.

I can’t help but smile even as I say, “Toni, no.”

“Toni, yes,” he replies. “You need cuddles.”

“I—” While that sounds perfect right about now, the logistics of it make it impossible, and that’s not even mentioning the guilt I still feel at bothering him.

“I’m fine,” I lie.

“Estrella.”

“I’m fine,” I insist. “It was just a stupid dream.”

“Alright.” Toni’s voice softens, and I can tell he doesn’t believe me. “So you just wanted to talk to me then?” But apparently he’s willing to let it go.

“Yeah,” I mumble. “S’mthin like that.”

Toni laughs. “I knew I’d win you over at some point.”

I hum in agreement, shifting in the chair so I can curl up against the back and trap my phone against my ear. “So yeah,” I say. “Sorry for bothering you. You can go back to sleep now.”

“You’re not bothering me estrella,” Toni says.

I can’t find it in me to believe him.

“And I’m not going back to sleep until you do,” he continues. “Are you still in bed?”

“No.”

“Are you gonna go back to bed?”

I hesitate, biting my lip again as I think. Going back to my room means no longer talking to Toni, and I’m selfish enough that I don’t want to be the one to hang up just yet.

“No,” I finally answer.

Toni sighs, and I wince at the sound. “Are you at least cozy?” he asks.

The chair is comfortable enough, and before I answer, I reach over and grab the blanket draped over the arm of the couch. “Sì,” I answer, wrapping it around my shoulders and throwing it over my feet.

“Good,” Toni says. “If you wanna talk, just interrupt me, otherwise I’m just gonna ramble on until you feel better or fall asleep.”

“Gonna read me a bedtime story?” I tease.

I can picture the wide grin Toni has as he launches into some likely off the cuff tale about a dog (Clove, as usual) getting into silly adventures. I stop paying close attention after the first few lines and just let his voice wash over me, settling warmly in my chest.

I'm probably half asleep by the time I notice the story has changed, and it takes me a few moments to realize why.

“Toni?” I mumble.

“Yes querido?”

“What the fuck are you reading?”

Toni laughs. “I was wondering if you’d fallen asleep. It’s just the code for a side project of mine.”

“Sei terribile,” I grumble.

Toni just laughs again. “Te quiero estrella. Go to sleep.”

I grumble and hide my face in my blanket. “Fine.” I hesitate just a moment, then mumble, “Ti amo. Grazie.”

“No problem querido,” Toni responds.

[yourmomsawh0r3]

Crossroads ch.7

Javier pena x female single mom reader

The golden light of late afternoon filtered through the windows of Y/N’s cozy living room, casting a warm glow over the space. Elle was sprawled on the floor, coloring in her favorite coloring book, while Y/N sat on the couch, her feet propped up and her mind racing with an idea that had been forming for weeks.

Javier’s lease was coming up on his house, and Y/N had been toying with the notion of asking him to move in with them. They were already so intertwined in each other’s lives, spending most nights together and growing even closer with the impending arrival of their baby. It just made sense to take this next step, but she wanted to approach it in the right way.

Y/N glanced at Javier, who was sitting at the kitchen table, going over some work on his laptop. She took a deep breath, deciding it was now or never. She walked over to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, Javi. Do you have a minute?” she asked, her voice soft but steady.

Javier looked up from his screen, smiling as he took her hand and pulled her to sit on his lap. “Always, mi amor. What’s on your mind?”

Y/N hesitated for a moment, gathering her thoughts. “Well, I’ve been thinking… your lease is coming up soon, and I know you’ve been considering what to do next. I was wondering if you might want to… move in with us?”

Javier’s eyes widened in surprise, and then his face broke into a wide, joyful grin. “Are you serious?”

Y/N nodded, her heart pounding. “Yes, I am. We’re already so much a part of each other’s lives, and with the baby coming, it just feels right. I love you, Javi. I want us to be a family in every sense.”

Javier’s expression softened, and he cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs gently caressing her cheeks. “I love you too, Y/N. More than anything. And I would be honored to move in with you and Elle. There’s nothing I want more than to be here with you both, every day.”

Elle, hearing their conversation, looked up from her coloring book and grinned. “Does that mean Javi is going to live with us all the time?”

Y/N and Javier both laughed, and Y/N nodded. “Yes, peanut. Javier is going to move in with us. How do you feel about that?”

Elle jumped up and down with excitement. “Yay! I love that idea! We can play together every day, and he can read me stories every night!”

Javier scooped Elle into his arms, hugging her tightly. “I can’t wait for that, princess. We’re going to have so much fun.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon talking about the logistics of moving, making plans, and sharing their excitement. Y/N felt a sense of peace and happiness settle over her. This was the beginning of a beautiful new chapter in their lives.

As the sun set, casting a warm, rosy glow over their home, Y/N, Javier, and Elle sat on the couch, cuddled up together. They talked about their hopes and dreams for the future, their laughter filling the room.

A few weeks later, moving day arrived. Javier had packed up his things, and with the help of a few friends, they managed to get everything loaded into a truck. Y/N had prepared the house for Javier’s arrival, making space for his belongings.

Elle was buzzing with excitement, darting around the house and helping in any way she could. “Where should we put this, Mommy?” she asked, holding up one of Javier’s framed photos.

Y/N smiled, taking the photo from her. “How about we put it on the mantel, next to our family photos?”

Elle nodded enthusiastically. “That’s perfect!”

Javier walked in, carrying a box labeled “Kitchen.” He set it down and wiped his forehead. “This is the last one. We did it!”

Y/N wrapped her arms around him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Welcome home, Javi.”

Javier hugged her tightly. “Thank you, Y/N. This feels so right.”

By evening, the house was filled with the cozy chaos of a family settling in together.

That evening, Y/N decided to celebrate their new beginning with a special family dinner. She cooked Javier’s favorite meal chicken enchiladas and set the table with candles and flowers. Javier, who had been helping Elle set up her toys in the living room, walked into the kitchen and smiled at the sight.

“This looks amazing, mi amor,” he said, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

Y/N leaned back into his embrace. “I wanted to make tonight special. It’s our first dinner together in our home.”

Javier kissed her cheek. “Every day with you is special, Y/N.”

They called Elle to the table, and the three of them sat down to eat. The room was filled with laughter and conversation, and Y/N felt a deep sense of contentment. They were building a life together, creating a home filled with love and happiness.

After dinner, they moved to the living room for dessert—ice cream sundaes, Elle’s favorite. They piled on the toppings, making a delightful mess. Elle giggled as Javier put a cherry on top of her sundae.

“This is the best day ever!” she declared, her face smeared with chocolate sauce.

Y/N laughed, her heart full. “I’m glad you’re happy, peanut.”

As they finished their sundaes, Y/N glanced at the clock. “It’s getting late, sweetie. Time to get ready for bed.”

Elle pouted but didn’t argue. She was clearly tired from all the excitement. Y/N and Javier took her upstairs, helping her brush her teeth and get into her pajamas.

Elle whined that she wanted Javier to read her a story before bed. Javier chuckled and willingly accepted. He chose one of his favorites, "The Little Engine That Could," and read with enthusiasm, making all the voices and sound effects. Elle’s eyes sparkled with delight as she listened, her head resting against his arm.

When the story ended, Y/N and Javier tucked Elle in and kissed her goodnight. “Sleep tight, princess,” Javier whispered.

“Goodnight, Mommy. Goodnight, Javi,” Elle murmured, already drifting off.

Back downstairs, Y/N went to pop some popcorn. “How about we celebrate our first night with a Suits marathon?” she suggested, smiling at Javier.

“That sounds perfect,” Javier agreed, setting up the TV.

They ended up eating two bowls of popcorn and indulging in some ice cream, binge-watching the entire season of Suits. Wrapped up in each other’s arms on the couch, they felt a deep sense of contentment.

“This is our life now,” Y/N said softly, looking up at Javier. “And I couldn’t be happier.”

Javier kissed her forehead. “Me neither, mi amor. This is just the beginning.”

As they drifted off to sleep, wrapped up together on the couch, they knew that no matter what the future held, they would face it together, as a family.

The sun shone brightly over the small suburban neighborhood where Y/N, Elle, and Javier lived. It was the weekend, and Javier had the day off. Y/N decided it was the perfect day for a family outing to the local park. She packed a picnic basket with sandwiches, fruits, and Elle’s favorite snacks, while Javier helped Elle get ready.

“Javier, can I bring my new friend with us?” Elle asked, holding up a plush bunny she had received as a gift from Javier.

Javier chuckled and ruffled her hair. “Of course, princess. We wouldn’t want Mr. Bunny to miss out on the fun.”

Y/N smiled at the sweet interaction, feeling her heart swell with love for both of them. She finished packing the picnic basket and called out, “Alright, team. Ready to go?”

Elle cheered, “Ready!” and Javier gave a thumbs-up.

They arrived at the park and found a nice, shady spot under a large oak tree. Elle immediately ran towards the playground, her laughter echoing through the park. Javier and Y/N spread out a blanket and set up the picnic.

As they watched Elle play, Y/N leaned against Javier, feeling the warmth of the sun and the comfort of his presence. “This is perfect,” she murmured.

Javier wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. “It really is. I love seeing you both so happy.”

They spent the morning playing games, running around with Elle, and enjoying the beautiful weather. Javier even joined in on the slides and swings, much to Elle’s delight.

“Look, Mommy! Look, Javi!” Elle called out as she swung high into the air.

“You’re doing great, peanut!” Y/N cheered, snapping a picture of the moment.

When they finally settled down for lunch, Elle sat between Javier and Y/N, munching on her sandwich and telling them all about her adventures on the playground.

“Javi, can we come here every weekend?” she asked, her eyes shining with hope.

Javier smiled and nodded. “We can certainly try, sweetheart. I love spending time with you and your mom.”

Y/N kissed Elle’s cheek. “We’ll make it a family tradition.”

After lunch, they took a leisurely stroll around the park, Elle skipping ahead and picking flowers along the way. Javier took Y/N’s hand, their fingers intertwining naturally.

“You know,” Javier said softly, “I never imagined I’d be so happy. You and Elle have changed my life.”

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes glistening with emotion. “We’re a family now, Javi. And I’m so grateful for you.”

They shared a tender kiss, the world around them fading away. elle ran back and hugged them both tightly.

“I love you, Mommy. I love you, Javi,” she said, her voice filled with pure innocence and joy.

“We love you too, princess,” they replied in unison, their hearts full.