#{ The mome would be perfect too of she was blonde and had blue eyes. }

[chronosbled]

{ This manhwa I found is literally a perfect representation of how Dickson's childhood used to be with his parents. Granted he originally didn't react to anything due to his condition, but slowly over time he started to learn what happiness was (you know, before his parents were murdered).

I have never found anything so absolutely accurate before and now Imma cry about it because I finally have. 😭😭

[ashxketchum]

MIMATO WEEK 2023 (Random Update)

Note: I haven't been able to write on time as much as I wanted to, maybe by tomorrow I will post my Day 5,6,7 entries but until then I wanted to share something, so here is a prompt I got a year ago that was just sitting in my drafts for no reason! Enjoy 💙💚

Prompt: "Your heart is beating too fast to be close to someone you don't care about."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Listen to my Heartbeat ~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Digital World throwing them off track without a warning was something that didn’t make Mimi bat an eyelid anymore, and she was pretty much used to the ground beneath them slipping away in a flash, taking away with it any progress the group had made so far. So of course, she was unamused with the current situation, which was her being stuck in a cave with what looked like a light drizzle falling outside. The funny thing was, that while she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen rain in the Digital World, what she could remember was that she had never been stuck alone with the blond standing tall at the entrance of the cave.

Yamato had his back to her, as he peered outside, and though Mimi couldn’t see his face from where she was sitting, she knew it was probably scrunched up in a frown as he inspected the raindrops that settled on his hand. She half turned to pass a comment to Palmon and was bitterly reminded once again, that the only occupants of the cave were her and Yamato, and that the whereabouts of their partner Digimon and the rest of their friends were currently unknown to them. She definitely felt anxious, sitting there without Palmon to keep her company or spring into action to protect her if required, and wondered if Yamato too felt a similar unease, though would he answer honestly if she were to raise this question out loud?

Her eyes wandered over to Yamato again, and she was a little taken aback, maybe even slightly jealous of how much the scene suited him. With his pale, yellow hair shining in contrast to the dim, rocky walls of the cave and his lean figure just rightly fitting in the narrow crevice, nonchalantly bathing in the faint rays of light that escaped through the cloudy sky and surrounded him, he looked nothing less than a muse artists would stroke carefully onto their canvases or poets would write sonnets about. She held back a sigh, it was as if the colour blue, or rather the emotion blue, was meant to be embodied by him, and to Mimi that was a feat worthy of being envious over.

“What should we do?” She decided to speak up, as sitting around and admiring Yamato’s perfect features was something that she could do from anywhere, getting out of here and reuniting with Palmon took priority for now.

Yamato turned, and as expected, with a frown on his face he fixed his eyes on her, and she noticed a hint of surprise reflected in them, as if he had not expected her to follow his lead.

Which was something Mimi couldn’t deny either, she was more of a ‘my way or high way’ kind of girl, but when it came to things related to the Digital World, all of them had adjusted to a pattern that was hard to shake off. If something goes wrong, look to Taichi, and if Taichi is not around, turn to Yamato. It was simple and easy to remember, and pretty much the mantra that had managed to keep them all in one piece during their many escapades, even though lately they hadn’t had much of a success with it since both Taichi and Yamato were butting heads so frequently. Mimi was liking this new side of Yamato however, it was different from what she remembered of him from their childhood, and his recent tenacity was something she could relate to and even found herself drawn towards.

“I don’t think we should move about carelessly.”

She raised her eyebrows, well that was unexpected, and even a little bit disappointing. She could’ve expected that kind of statement from Jou or Koushiro, but given the recent circumstances, Mimi assumed that the blond would be ready to go all out at any given moment. She stood up, dusting off the dirt from her skirt, she wasn’t going to sit around and wait to be found.

“Suit yourself, I’m going to go look for Palmon and the others.”

Mimi moved to make her way out of the cave, but Yamato raised his arm, blocking the entrance as he shot her a glare, “I’m worried about Gabumon and Takeru too, but you saw what happened, do you really think it’s a good idea to go out there without our Digimon partners?”

He was referring to the attack that had broken the group from their brief moment of slumber and had unexpectedly split them up. A shiver ran down Mimi’s arms as she remembered the daunting size of the Digimon that had attacked them out of nowhere, and internally she couldn’t help but agree with what her senior was saying. It was not a good idea to move around carelessly, but it was an idea and that’s what she needed right now instead of sitting still and waiting for someone to come calling.

“I’m not saying you’re wrong,” Mimi began, raising her eyes to meet his frowning gaze, “but maybe that’s what the others are thinking too, so how will we find each other if no one makes a move? We didn’t come to the Digital World to sit around and wait for help to find us, at least I know I didn’t.”

She knew she had hit a nerve and she did feel a bit guilty about it, ever since the whole thing with Meicoomon had begun the one who had been advocating for action the most had been Yamato, so for her to suddenly chide him about sitting tight was a low blow on her account. But she couldn’t help it, Mimi could feel the restlessness racing through her veins for every minute they spent together inside the cave. She had never spent so much time alone with him at such close proximity and the new feelings that were being stirred up in her heart when she looked at him, broad shoulders firm with determination as he refused to lower his arm and allow her to pass through, were completely unfamiliar to her.

“So you would gladly leave me behind?”

His voice was just a tone above a whisper but it was almost as if it rang through the cave like a loud, blaring alarm. It takes two to tango, is what his captivatingly blue eyes were saying as they fiercely peered into her own, if Mimi wasn’t afraid to cut corners then neither was he, which made it all the more difficult for her to look away and actually respond to his question. Not that coming up with an answer to his question would be easy, the way he was staring at her made it seem like he could look directly into her soul and would be able to sniff out any lies.

But Mimi had managed to dye her hair pink without her parents finding out until she walked out of her room with her hair bouncing about like a cart of cotton candy had exploded on it. She could handle one blond tundra.

“Gladly,” Mimi said, her voice slightly quivering, but still managed to resound firmly around them. She took a step forward, hoping that the threat of proximity would make Yamato lower his arm and give her the space to make her exit, but instead, he just tightened his grip on the rocky wall, muscles taut around his arms as he continued to stare her down, challenging her to come even closer.

She swallowed a gulp, he was the last person she expected to raise the stakes in a situation like this, what she had expected was that he’d get embarrassed and she’d take that opportunity to take the upper hand and make her escape. However, in the moment it was Mimi who felt embarrassed as she realised that if she raised her fingers just a little bit, she might be able to trace the shape of the tense muscles that clung to the white fabric of the shirt, and as crazy as it sounded to her, that’s all she could think about as they stood close facing each other down with such a fiery determination for perhaps the first time since they had met on the bus to summer camp all those years ago.

Why Yamato had decided to meet her challenge was still something she was unsure of, under normal circumstances he might’ve silently glared daggers at her and focused his attention elsewhere, that’s how he usually fought with people who weren’t Taichi, but then again Mimi and he had rarely ever disagreed on anything before, so there was no way for her to know how he would push back in an argument against her. She wished somewhere deep down, that if this was how things were going to go down, then she had been better off not knowing at all.

Mimi squeezed her eyes shut and tried to get the image of the blond looming over her in all his handsomeness out of her mind, what was important right now was winning this game so she could put some distance between the two of them and never have to deal with all these feelings stirring up inside her ever again. All she needed were a couple of words that would do the trick, they didn’t even need to sting per se but just surprise him enough for her to get a shot at creating an opening in the barrier that he had put up, metaphorically and physically both.

“I’m not intimidated by you.” She began, raising her voice by a pitch that made him wince as he looked over at her with humorous doubt, “In fact, I’m rarely intimidated by people I don’t care much about. And you’re one of them.” Mimi folded her arms across her chest and met his eyes with equal vigour, letting him know through her posture that she too was firm in her decisions and he wouldn’t be able to change her mind with a few lousy tactics. Lying wasn’t something she was particularly good at but the tension in the air gave her the strength to step out of her comfort zone and make a bold statement that would surely hit all the right notes and make Yamato angry enough to lose his cool.

But lately, he had been full of surprises and Mimi should've known better.

Just for a moment, she saw anger flash across Yamato's eyes before he covered it up with an expression she did not recognize. The corner of his mouth curved into a ruthless smirk as without a warning he lowered his head to level with her face, the tip of their noses now only centimetres apart. His warm breath brushed past her chin, which considering the chilliness surrounding them would have been a welcome feeling if Mimi’s whole body hadn’t frozen at the sudden lack of distance between the two of them. She wanted to lift her hands and push them against his toned chest so he would be forced to take a few steps back, she wanted to turn on her heels and stalk back into the inner depths of the cave so the cold air could help douse the fiery excitement that was now rushing through her veins.

But her hands and her feet refused to listen to her demands and stayed put, she felt a hot, burning sensation take over her cheeks as Yamato’s gaze dropped to her lips for just a brief moment, before his eyes met hers again, shining with an emotion she couldn’t find the right words to describe with. Mimi could feel her heart thumping rapidly against her chest, its hammering drowned out the faint pitter-patter of the rain outside in her ears, and she meekly prayed that the loud sound couldn’t reach Yamato because the air of confidence she had put on would crumble the minute he knew how nervous being this close to him made her feel.

Her prayers went unheard of course as the smirk on Yamato’s widened with amusement.

“Are you sure about that, princess? Because your heart is beating too fast to be close to someone you don’t care about.”

A soft whimper escaped her lips, and Mimi was ashamed of her reaction but her voice seemed to have gotten lost somewhere deep inside her throat. It was almost unbelievable that she was losing a battle of stubbornness against Yamato of all people, so all Mimi could do was blame the change in her attitude on the stupidly cold cave that made her long for the warmth of excitement that came with being the absolute centre of Yamato’s attention. She also blamed the Digimon that appeared out of nowhere and separated their little group in such an odd manner. Because she was sure that if a few more of their friends and their Digimon partners were around, this disagreement of theirs would have ended with both of them huffing and puffing and turning away from each other, not with their faces hovering so close that a single a push or a trip of her feet could send her lips crashing onto his-

“Yamato san, Yamato san, can you hear me?”

The two teens immediately pulled back at the sound of their friend’s voice. Mimi took a few steps back into the cave, her hands pressed to her cheek as she tried to hide the redness across her face. While Yamato ended up stepping out of the cave and into the rain, his pale cheeks however, betrayed no hint of embarrassment, only his chest fell and rose irregularly as he took a few deep breaths.

“Yamato san, can you hear me?”

The two turned their attention to the source of the voice, Yamato's digivice which was attached to his pant’s belt loop. Frowning, the blond removed it from his pants and raised it towards his mouth, responding in a hesitant tone.

“Koushiro?”

“Yes! I’m glad I was able to connect with you too. I’ve gotten hold of everyone else, well except Mimi san but I was planning to reach out to her next.”

The digivice being used as a walkie-talkie was something new to both of them, but if someone was capable of figuring that out it was Koushiro. Yamato lowered the digivice, holding it between the two of them so Mimi could lean in closer and listen better too.

“Mimi’s with me.”

It was a simple statement, a factual one in fact, but the words made Mimi’s stomach churn unbearably. She wanted to slap herself across the face just to get out of this stupor she seemed to be under, Yamato and she had never been anything more than casual friends, and she should know better than to dream of something more.

“I see...That’s...uh that’s good to hear.”

Koushiro’s voice seemed more timid than earlier, as if he was not happy to hear about how the two of them had ended up together. Yamato too must have noticed the change in their friend’s voice as he scowled at the device in his hand, possibly annoyed that Koushiro would take a dire situation like this and make it about his feelings for the brunette.

“What do we need to do next?” Yamato cut right to the chase, the urgency in his voice made it seem like he wanted to put an end to the whole dilemma of being stuck alone with Mimi as soon as possible and that finally made the jumbled-up feelings inside of her calm down for a minute.

“Let me explain the rendezvous location to you…”

Mimi tuned out the conversation, knowing that Yamato would guide her in the right direction, she took that time to collect herself instead. By the time they left the cave and followed Koushiro’s directions to where they would meet up with their friends, the surge of emotions she’d felt by simply being around Yamato alone began to simmer down. The two walked in silence, with Mimi trailing slightly behind. She was dragging her feet across the ground so slowly, which came as a surprise to Yamato and he would often turn to check if she was still around. He must have thought her behaviour odd, considering how aggressively Mimi had wanted to get out of the cave to go look for Palmon a while ago.

But now, she knew that the minute the two would reunite with their friends the problems surrounding the Digital World would take centre stage in both their minds. Until the battle was over the two would probably never get the chance to think about what had almost happened between them in the cave. What Mimi feared the most, however, was that both of them would eventually forget the heated moment they had shared and never again make an attempt to get close to each other.

Which is why she walked slowly, to keep the memory of Yamato’s mesmerising blue eyes staring at her lips fresh in her mind for as long as she could. Deep down she hoped that Yamato would do the same, because maybe, just maybe if both of them held onto the memory of their tryst tightly, it wouldn’t wither out as a dream and remain rooted in their minds as something real for years to come.

- x -

[filmfanatic82]

AO3 Link (HERE)

Chapter 8: Lexa (II)

“Lexa… Lexa… Lexa…” Clarke chants Lexa’s name, like the holiest of prayers, each time with a bit more conviction than the last. She grinds down, riding Lexa’s fingers in a rapid rhythmic pattern that signifies one thing and one thing only. Clarke’s teetering on the edge.

Beautiful.

The lone word explodes within the dark recesses of Lexa’s mind, leaving no room for any other thoughts. It rapidly grows, filling every inch of available space until it’s all Lexa can seem to concentrate on.

Clarke is beautiful.

This isn’t a new revelation. No. Lexa has known this from the very first moment she laid eyes on the blond, back in 6th-grade biology class. Clarke possesses a rare type of beauty that merely isn’t contained to just physical features alone. It’s a beauty that transcends. It radiates from every inch of her very being, almost blinding in nature.

It’s warmth. Plain and simple. The kind that invades the soul, leaving everlasting imprints on all that it touches.

It’s a beauty that Lexa can’t fathom living without and yet…

And yet, that’s the very crux of the problem she’s facing. Head versus heart. Love versus academic opportunities… Opportunities that could set Lexa up on the career path of her dreams.

Love is weakness.

The words of her father suddenly invade her thoughts, drowning everything else out. It’s an all too familiar phrase, one that has been verbally beaten into Lexa throughout the years along with a steady diatribe of the importance of perfection.

Being good, just is not enough. Not when one has the potential of being the best. And to be the best, one must be willing to sacrifice.

Happiness is a luxury, not a necessity.

Lexa can feel the every-constant mass of anxiety start to swirl once again in the pit of her stomach as she falls further down the rabbit hole of her father’s words.

“Fuuuuck,” Clarke moans in unbridle ecstasy, snapping Lexa back out of her thoughts and back into the sheer beauty of the here and now.

“Shhh… They’re gonna to hear us,” Lexa says punctuating her point with a series of bruising kisses along the slope of Clarke’s neck.

“Oh… It’s… Too… Late… For… That…” Clarke replies. She grinds harder down into Lexa’s palm and runs her free hand through her wild mane of hair.

“Clarke…”

“Lexa…” Clarke leans in and delivers a searing kiss, taking Lexa’s bottom lip in between her teeth. She tugs against the fleshy pulp, not quite hard enough to cause real pain, but just enough to send an aftershock of pleasure rolling over the length of Lexa’s body. It’s a signature move. One that Lexa has become addicted to. Just like everything else about Clarke.

Lexa lets out a long moan, momentarily forgetting that they aren’t alone in the house.

They had snuck away, under the guise of needing to “get ready” for the night, but of course, it was the farthest thing from the truth. As soon as Clarke had stripped out of her vee-neck shirt, exposing the baby blue bra that she had fondly dubbed the panty dropper, all bets were off.

All it took was a few simple touches and the next thing Lexa knew, they were stumbling towards the bed, clothes flying in every which direction. Their moves were feverish and frantic. Nails digging into flesh and teeth nipping at key pleasure points. All signs that where they were heading wasn’t in the realms of what Lexa would classify as “make love.”

“Harder, baby,” Clarke breathes out into Lexa’s ear, voice dripping with undiluted lust. “I’m so close.”

And that’s all Lexa needs to hear. Her hands grip tighter around the voluptuous blonde before her as she throws every ounce of energy towards pushing them both over the edge. A few additional thrusts of her fingers and a well-timed swipe of her thumb against Clarke’s engorged clit and suddenly, Lexa feels them skyrocket into the atmosphere, fueled by adrenaline-laced passion. Raw and almost animalistic in nature.

It’s beautiful.

So, so beautiful.

Lexa lets the beauty of the moment thoroughly wash over her as she slows down her pace, gently easing Clarke down from her high. She locks eyes with the two crystal blue orbs in front of her causing a sly smile to crawl across her face.

“I love you.” The words tumble freely from Lexa’s lips, breaking the silence between them.

It isn't the first time the words have been uttered between them. No. Lexa has been freely saying these words to Clarke and vise verse on a daily basis for almost the entire time they’ve been together.

But this time, it feels different.

The words feel heavy, bogged down with a hidden meaning that only Lexa knows. As if there’s only so many more times these words will be said between each other. A visible limit, making each utterance matter that much more.

“I love you too,” Clarke replies with a post-sex raspiness. She shifts her body, possessively wrapping her limbs around Lexa and nuzzles her head into the crux between Lexa’s collarbone and neck.

“No. I really mean it… I love you, Clarke.”

“Yeah, I know.” Clarke lets out a light laugh as her fingers playfully twirl a loosen strand of Lexa’s chestnut mane. “Everything okay, baby?”

No.

That’s the answer that Lexa so desperately wants to give. To just rip the bandaid off and exposure the gory truth that lies beneath. But she can’t seem to find the right words. The ones that will adequately explain without inflicting any lasting damage to the woman she loves the most.

“More than okay, my love,” Lexa replies with a light but a reassuring kiss to Clarke's forehead.

“Good.” Clarke returns the gesture, with a kiss of her own. But unlike Lexa’s, it’s filled with the underlying desire for another round.

“Clarke… We don’t have time,” Lexa whines as Clarke pulls out of the kiss.

“I know. Just wanted to leave you with a reminder of what’s to come later tonight.” Clarke plants one more peck on Lexa’s lips, before slipping out of bed. She starts to move around the room, haphazardly collecting her clothes piece by piece. “You think they heard us?”

Lexa goes to open her mouth, but before she can utter a single word--

“Yeah, we did! Now hurry the hell up, or we’re gonna be late,” Raven calls out from the other side of the bedroom door.

“Fuuuck,” Lexa sighs dropping her head back against the pillow with a noticeable thud. She shuts her eyes as she can feel the familiar flush of embarrassment spread across her cheeks.

“C’mon,” Clarke says, reaching out and grabbing hold of Lexa’s hand. She lovingly entwines her fingers with Lexa’s and giving a light squeeze in the process. It’s a simple gesture, but meaningful nonetheless. A wordless promise that Lexa isn’t alone in this world. Not by far. “It won’t be as bad as you think.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Surreal.

That’s the only word that comes to mind as Lexa stands within the desolated corridor, listening to the ruggedly handsome young resident standing before her rattle through a bunch of medical jargon that is all but indecipherable.

Anya is alive.

That much Lexa has been able to grasp onto. But as for the rest of the details… They are merely lost, buried within a minefield of complex terminology that is utterly foreign to her in every sense of the word.

Clavicle fracture… Blunt force trauma… 3rd-degree lacerations… Partial compression of the C5 vertebrae…

Each phrase builds upon the next, feeding the ever-growing mass of anxiety and fear churning within the confines of Lexa’s stomach.

Anya’s alive, but…

But in what state?

“Is there someone else we can call or--”

“No. Just me. My parents moved to New York two years ago. I’ll let them know, but…” Lexa trails off, not quite sure how to finish her sentence. An awkward silence falls between them as the young resident continues to stare at her with sympathetic eyes. Lexa forces a hint of a smile in return. It’s a feeble attempt at some sort of normalcy, but it’s all she can manage to do at the moment.

“Alright. Well, the police are going to stop by probably in the next 20 minutes or so to take her statement, but otherwise, she’s all clear for visitors… Do you have any questions?”

Lexa shakes her head, still holding onto the smile for dead life. It’s a lie. She has a million and one questions racing through her mind, all dying to be asked. But Lexa’s voice is nowhere to be found.

So instead, she smiles and like clockwork, the young resident smiles back with the false reassurance that she’s indeed okay.

“Hang in there, okay?” The young resident caps his sentence with a light pat on Lexa’s shoulder and then takes off down the corridor, leaving her alone with nothing but the chilling stillness of the hospital.

Lexa lets out a long sigh and runs her hands through her mane of loose curls. Her eyes drift back towards the doorway of Anya’s hospital room, staring into the dark abyss. She wants to move. To race right in there and fling herself into the comfort of her older sister’s arms, like she used to back when they were kids, and their parents would engage in their late night verbal sparring matches. Lexa so desperately wants to…

But she’s frozen.

Fear, mixed the unknown of what lurks just beyond that doorway, is in control now, leaving Lexa virtually incapacitated.

“What did they say?” Clarke asks as she approaches with a matching set of coffees in her hands.

“Huh?”

“The doctor. He was just here, right? What did he say? How’s Anya doing?”

Lexa gives a slight shrug of her shoulders glancing back once again at the door. “She’s clear for visitors.”

“Good,” Clarke hands Lexa one of the coffee with a warm smile. “Figured you could use this. You still take it black, right?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Glad to know some things haven’t changed,” Clarke replies before taking a long sip of her own coffee. She follows Lexa’s eyes towards the doorway as a sudden realization falls upon her face. “You haven’t gone in there yet, have you?”

But Lexa doesn’t respond. She just doesn’t know how to. Traces of tears begin to pool up in the corners of Lexa’s eyes. She blinks… and then again… and again… Anything to stop them from falling.

A momentary silence settles between the two of them as Lexa continues to furiously blink back her ever-growing emotions and then--

“C’mon,” Clarke says with a sudden new-found resolution to her voice. She gently reaches out and without any hesitation whatsoever, takes hold of Lexa’s hand, entwining their fingers together in the process. “We’ll do it together.”

Lexa looks down at their hands in sheer disbelief as an oddly foreign yet familiar sensation floods every inch of her being. One that up until this moment she had sworn she would never feel again in her lifetime.

It’s love.

“Okay, Clarke,” Lexa whispers back, voice cracking on the end of Clarke’s name.

Clarke gives Lexa a reassuring squeeze in return and then starts to guide them towards the doorway. “It won’t be as bad as you think.”