#{ ;email }
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I just found the earliest email I ever sent from my email address, and it’s the funniest goddamn thing I can possibly imagine a fourth grader sending her teacher:
(Context - my fourth grade teacher was on maternity leave, and the class had conferenced at recess regarding the poor state of the classroom goldfish’s tank. We decided to inform our (24yo, new mother) former teacher of the dire situation, and I was selected as the duly appointed representative for this solemn communication.)
#shut up e#I’m sorry if this is dumb but it made me laugh SO hard#who let fourth grader me have an email address
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New York State Parks official IG posted about an owl they rescued but decided to use only the most wretched photos of this creature, including what EYE think is the best bird photograph ever taken
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one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method
#I was forced to get over my hatred of making phone calls bc of this#one 15 minute phone call is the equivalent of 5 back and forth emails#also if you don't know exactly what you need help with you can just ask and you can get real help#instead of just desperately clawing at faqs on websites#it's infuriating that it works so well#ramblings
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Found this really scary new horror game yall should check out. It's called indeed.com and it has a sequel called linkedin
#it is hell on earth out here#got like 6 different rejection emails today#so much fun /sarcasm#job hunting
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"taken" style action movie where a man searches for his wife. as he fights baddies in gunfights and hand-to-hand combat, it's slowly revealed that:
his wife hasn't been kidnapped
their marriage is not healthy or functional
this guy isn't rescuing his wife, he's hunting her down
his wife is a crime boss, those are her henchpeople he's fighting in a john-wick bloodbath
the tension builds until, drenched in blood, our protagonist steps forward for the final showdown. he pulls a manila envelope from his bullet-torn jacket and throws it at his wife's feet. he's just spent an entire trilogy biting & killing & maiming....all so he can deliver his shit wife her divorce papers
#THIS IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T ANSWER YOUR EMAILS BETHANNY#IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO GET STUFF NOTARIZED BETHANNEY#MANY BANKS PROVIDE THAG SERVICE BETHANEY. FREE OF CHARGE.
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every genius who thinks mandatory two-factor authentication is a good idea should be forced to do tech support for a public library that serves a lot of elderly poor people
#there is a lot of crossover between people who don't have reliable access to a cell phone#and people who need to check their email at a public library pc#WHO KNEW??
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I love ending e-mails with "thank you in advance". Like what are you going to now? Not do the thing I already thanked you for? Bring dishonor on yourself like that? No? I didn't think so. Check mate you have been played by the master of manipulation.
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not to sound like a boomer, but I need some people to learn how to write emails in a semi-professional (at the very least) format so you're not cold emailing a business/potential employer/any other stranger about formal matters in the exact same way you'd DM a close friend on instagram
the formality/language can loosen up in the email chain once you've established a rapport and you match the other person if they're being less formal, but please don't have the very first email you send a stranger be written in all lowercase ultra-casual sms slang with no greeting or signature and a billion emojis
#this sounds like a 'argh kids these days doing [insert exaggerated story they don't actually do in reality]' kind of thing#except that I've gotten soooo many emails like this#there's a reason that I don't have my DMs open on any socmed and it's bc they attract people getting way too casual/parasocial immediately#and forcing people to write out an email both filters out 90% of weird impulse messages and also throws them out of that casual headspace#except that I can actively tell when this fails and someone is treating emails as if they're the same thing as DMs
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I feel like the age of having a "burner email" is gone. Out of curiosity,
#emails#i know this is a boring question but im curious#my mom was thrown off when i told her i have burner emails when i shop online so i don't get my personal email stolen/sold#i remember in like 2010s internet i feel like it was weirder to NOT have burner emails#but i don't hear anyone talk about them anymore so i'm curious#but if people are using tiktok and chat-gpt as search engines then maybe burner emails haven't even crossed their minds
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I think we should have a turn of phrase for "I'm not in the right, but I AM annoyed with this situation, so I just need to go bitch to a friend about this before I suck it up and go do the right thing" because more and more I'm finding this is a critical element of functional adulthood.
#the person who's re-emailed me asking for help with something: yes I should get back to you. yes I will get back to you#but in the meantime I will look at the email like 'I am busy right now! I have deadlines! do not bother me about this unrelated thing!'#and like in 15 minutes when I'm ready to be an adult again I'll get back to them
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If you saw me agreeing with being annoyed about wasted helium in a fictional context and were like "I bet she has some more helium based anger in her life" good news LAPD fucked up a raid on a medical facility they thought was a pot farm and flat out ruined thousands of gallons of the stuff.
#Back in the day the lab I worked in went through the stuff at a hell of a rate#But that was to actually do something at least#It's also fucking humiliating that a SF paper gets to write up our cops being dipshits#I am so fucking mad about both these aspects the wasted helium and that SF gets to laugh at us#I wrote a very very angry email to my city councilor but I do that like twice a week and I don't think he reads them or anything#So I suspect this one will also not move much
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There's something quite charming about relatively small objects that are way heavier than they look. ooohh you're one dense little freak aren't you
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how about instead of responding to the achingly inane innovations being pushed of AI that will write your emails so that another AI can read them and provide a summary to the person you're emailing by defending the sacred art of emailing we instead stop to consider what kind of systems we have created in which people are constantly sending emails so worthless that getting an idiot robot to both read and write them seems like a sensible value proposition
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