#^just found out my mom’s been considering a Guinea pig

[tedhead]

grief impulse purchasing a mouse sounds good rn

[illumose]

his family • klaus mikaelson

⋆⭒˚.⋆ PAIRINGS: female reader x klaus mikaelson ( apparition of caroline at the end )

⋆⭒˚.⋆ CONTENT: fluff, family vibes, a little bit of angst if you squint

⋆⭒˚.⋆ SUMMARY: Klaus receives the visit of an ex-lover

masterlist \ requested by @scentedtragedyhottub

author’s note: sorry for the delay, I’ve been snowed under work at uni.

Hope giggled as you drew little butterflies on Klaus’s face. He had agreed to participate in what should have been an artistic activity. You had decided to teach Hope how to use colorimetry to draw, what better way than to use makeup? At first, the girl listened very carefully to your instructions and did her best. However, at some point, she decided to go off the rails. She had drawn a mustache on your upper lip before you could even protest. And that’s how Klaus found himself on a chair with his face transformed into a canvas.

"That’s enough, I think," he said trying to stand up but Hope shook her head.

"I haven’t practiced enough, Daddy. I need to if you want me to paint landscapes."

You smiled at their interaction. A few years ago, all of this would have been impossible to imagine. Yet, he was a great dad. An amazing dad who would do anything for his little girl, including suffering the assaults of a wet brush.

"You little mink," he muttered. "Be quick, I’ve got things to do with your mother."

Every time you heard the word "mother" coming out of his mouth, you felt a rush of warmth. It had taken little time for Hope to grow accustomed to your presence and to consider you as a parental figure. Hayley did not mind for one bit. It meant that the little girl was loved and cared for.

"Mom, tell him to be patient. It’s not his strongest suit," she playfully laughed. She dipped the brush in red and began to paint his eyelid. "Very pretty," she whispered with a mischievous smile.

The doorbell rang, which made you raise an eyebrow. You weren’t expecting anyone. Elijah had gone out to purchase a new piano and Rebekah was travelling the state in search of a vacation home.

"Who’s that?" you asked when Klaus appeared uneasy. He had probably picked up on the identity of their guest with his super-hearing powers. Being human had its downsides, sometimes.

He stood up, his hand wiping the paint off his face. "No one," he declared. "Please, continue without me. I’ll be back as soon as possible."

You bit your lip. You didn’t like it when he acted so secretive. Hope immediately threw herself on you, declaring that you were the new guinea pig she’d test her mixes on. You found an excuse to quickly run to the bathroom in hopes of catching the mysterious guest. It was no other than Caroline, the woman Klaus had fallen for just before you. The woman who managed to soften him a little.

You knew you had nothing to fear. After everything that he had gone through, Klaus would not betray you. However, you felt insecure in her presence. She had everything, even pieces of his heart. You splashed cold water on your face, hoping it’d distract your mind from all of this.

"Now’s not the time," you heard Klaus exhale loudly. With this, the front door slammed shut. In the nick of time, he was by your side, a faint smile on his lips.

You dried your hands on the towel and rushed to the living room, your boyfriend tailing behind. "Hope, it’s time to clean up this mess. Go fetch the supplies, please," he then turned to you. "You’ve got nothing to worry about, darling. She’s a thing of the past. I sent her packing, truthfully." This made your heart race. His fingers brushed your hand. "I only want you. You’re my family."

[ficklecat]

OC Intro: Violet Roberta Hughes

(dialogue responses to the OC interview prompt)

1. Please state your full name and occupation.

“Violet Roberta Hughes. I’m a biology student in undergrad, but I’m about to graduate soon!”

2. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

“Ummmm…let’s see. Well I’m a Scorpio for starters so feel free to make your assumptions on that! I love creepy stuff, big fan of horror and all things spooky. My brain is Halloweentown 365. What else…I love to cook and bake, I’m always trying out new recipes with Manny and Finn as my Guinea pigs. I like video games but I’m no good at them, I love movies, and I’m a closeted nerd. There’s plenty more but I never know what to say with questions like this!”

3. How would you describe your childhood?

“I mean…not terrible. Not the greatest though. My parents hate each other and before they divorced they fought a lot. My dad’s a classic abusive drunk, and my mom is super critical. I think it made her bitter though, she didn’t always used to be. Or maybe she did, I don’t know. My dad always tried to have fun with me and mom was the hardass. It’s easy to see now they were trying to play me against each other. They probably still do, whatever. After they divorced things got a little easier but wasn’t the same. But the fights and stuff stopped, no booze in the house anymore, that kind of thing.”

4. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

“When I was suuuper little I wanted to be what I called a ‘grave guard,’ which I guess was like a security guard for cemeteries? I have no clue where I got that idea, I don’t even think that’s a real thing!”

5. Do you have any role models? Tell us a little bit about them.

“This is gonna sound so shitty of me but I kinda don’t. Most people I know are just like…fully faking it till they make it, and that’s fine, everyone is, but I don’t want to put anyone on a pedestal for faking it slightly better than everyone else.”

6. Are you introverted or extroverted? Why?

“I’m both I think. I like my ‘me time’ but I also love being with my people, or people in general. I think it’s a shame some people ‘hate’ being around others. It’s so lonely sounding. I get it for some but still, I don’t think I’ve ever been that way.”

7. How would you describe yourself in three words?

“Ugh this is hard. I’m so much more than three words!” (laughs) “Hm. Ok. Stubborn probably. Caring, but—more like nurturing I think. And…I don’t know. So many words come to mind! Let’s say thoughtful. Stubborn, nurturing, and thoughtful.”

8. What do you like to do for fun?

“Definitely love to bake or make stuff in general. I like crafts even if I’m not good at them, and I can’t be trusted to go into a Michael’s alone.” (laughs) “But I really like doing movie nights with Finn and Manny. I always pick a scary one usually and Finn gets all flustered and spooked, it’s so cute. We watched Hereditary recently and Manny and I were just obsessing over Toni Collette because how can you not, and meanwhile Finn was literally sitting there watching from between his fingers. So adorable. He puts up with a lot from us.”

9. What's your greatest achievement? Why do you consider this your greatest achievement?

This has been answered in an ask, check the tag to see!

10. What's your biggest goal? How do you hope to achieve this?

“My biggest goal used to be to get married to a good man, but that was really more of my mom’s goal for me. Now, I think it’s just to find myself fully, to fully realise who I am. I know that’s cliche, but I’ve done so much self-discovery just in the past year and it feels so good, to learn and know yourself better each day. It’s like…playing in your childhood bedroom again, you’re finding all your favourite toys and remembering their stories. I don’t know. It’s like that. And I don’t even know how I’m achieving it. I think when I finally let myself just…be who I am, and found people to support that, it was easy. It came naturally. I’m super grateful.”

11. What does your dream room/house look like? Would you mind showing some inspiration pictures?

“I’d totally live in a haunted mansion or some shit but Finn would never sleep again, and he’s already an insomniac, so I think I’ll have to pass.” (laughs)

12. How would you describe your style?

“I wanna say subdued goth. I wear mostly black with pops of colour, like pink and red and blue and stuff, and I love to accessorise. In high school I was definitely more into it but doing two hours of makeup and dress in the morning is not it anymore.”

13. What's your favorite song?

“Ugh! I can’t pick, honestly. I listen to music all the time. I guess right now I’ve got Ghosting by Mother Mother on repeat a lot, so that one.”

14. Where are you happiest?

“Wherever Finn and Manny are, truthfully. I’ve never been so happy as when I am with them. They just bring out the best in me and each other. I love being around them.”

15. Who is the most important person in your life? Why?

“Besides my partners, I need to say…probably me. I know that sounds selfish but I’m really trying to focus on what it feels like to show up for myself and I think part of that is learning that at the end of the day, you’ve only got you. Before anyone. Might as well treat her right.”

16. Do you believe in soulmates? Why or why not?

“You know I always go back and forth on this. I did with my ex, then I didn’t when he broke my heart, then I did again, then I didn’t. Now…I don’t know. Maybe. If I do, it’s because of Finn and Manny. But if I don’t it’s only because I believe the heart wants different things at different times, and I think that gives it space to grow. I know, that’s so cheesy, but that’s how I can put it in words.”

17. Have you ever been in love?

“For sure. I’ve thought I’ve been in love way more often though. Now I know what it really feels like, I think.”

18. Have you ever been kissed?

“I was kissed just before I came in here!” (giggles)

19. Describe an average day in your life.

“Warning, it’s boring! Basically I just go to class and hang out with the polycule after. I prefer to have all my classes done by the afternoon which means I force myself to attend 8AM’s, but it’s worth it. I can get home or go to Finn’s and take care of things, do chores or homework or whatever, and just have a nice afternoon to myself. I also try to have lunch with my friend Ash at least once a week, but she works a lot so it’s hard to be consistent.”

20. Describe your nighttime routine.

“It depends on where I’m sleeping honestly. If it’s by myself at my place I’ll usually just watch a show in the background and scroll on my phone or do homework and stuff until I’m tired. Then I’ll remove my makeup and go to bed. I try not to use my phone in bed much but that doesn’t always work. That’s during the week, but most weekends we stay at Finn’s place and if I’m there it’s usually hanging out after dinner, maybe—well, usually—we’ll have sex and then I’ll take a shower because he has one of those really great rainfall shower heads that I love. After that I’ll drink some tea with Finn or cuddle with Manny upstairs until we all fall asleep.”

21. (Make up a question) Tell us a “low-stakes” unpopular opinion you have.

“I LIKE candy corn!! Yeah it’s weird and overly sweet but it’s candy! Of course it is! It’s pure sugar! And YES the different colours totally taste different I will die on this hill!” (laughs) “Manny bought me a bumper sticker for my car that says ‘end the stigma’ and it’s got candy corn all over it I love it! Candy corn is good, it deserves respect. It’s the herald of spooky season, that’s an honour itself!”

[ernmark]

Apparently me being in IB got a lot of Same Hat responses.

So: Same Hat!

I was in the first year that my high school had the program-- so the enviable guinea pigs, only like a quarter of which got the full IB diploma.

Along with the lock-in, we had

A weirdly insular group-- almost all our classes were together for those last two years, so despite being in a student body of 4000, I only actually knew the other 12 I spent time with (my face blindness was very grateful)

One teacher who was Very Bad at teaching precalculus, to the point that literally every person who had her dropped out of the full program because there was no chance of passing the math portion

Friday pitch-ins during history class every week, because nobody is food motivated like stressed teenagers. Among regular favourites were my mom's apple strudel and egg rolls from one classmate's family Chinese restaurant

A science teacher who took the extra IB duties because he wanted extra pay, who gleefully plagiarized resources from other teachers that he found online. His idea of teaching was to show us video of his marching band

Due to zero supervision and guidance, our class royally botched the Big Group Science Project for his class. So we instead researched the hell out of what our results should have been and falsified a semester's worth of data. So... Um... We definitely learned something in that class.

A surprisingly diverse student body considering our tiny size. Because it was so new and badly managed, the only people who were willing to participate were people who wanted to go to college abroad, or people who were desperate for those low-cost college credits and cofident enough in their academic skill to trade their mental health away for the discount. So, in short, a whole lot of immigrants.

A study hall collective thing where we tried to fill in the gaps in our education and understanding by reteaching each other whatever had just been botched.

Class t-shirts

A motto: "divide and conquer" referring to the way we'd divide our larger homework assignments among the group, each do a part, and then collectively copy down the answers from each other. We all did the homework-- we just didn't all do all of it.

Mental breakdowns to the degree and consistency that would become the norm across the United States 5-10 years later. (During one of my worse ones, my dad flailed his way into giving me a pair of stray kittens we had been trying to rehome because when I was handling them was the only time during that particular period that he saw me not crying.)

It was certainly an experience, alright.

[gentrychild]

BNHA chapter 290 reactions

Oh boy, just when I was saying that such a long arc was eroding my ability to hype myself...

Oh boy... I guess we finally got the answer to “Was that message for Rei or for the whole country?” and the answer is both. Dabi sent a direct message to his mom and we don’t know what he told her.

And since we have a big close-up on the flower “Enji” gave Rei without leaving a message, I am now wondering if it wasn’t a gift from Dabi.

Ah, the Todoroki pose of “I have no idea of what to feel.”

Also, I think we now have the confirmation that Dabi is a theater kid.

Okay, so first, it’s nice to have the confirmation that Izuku did make some damages.

What’s less nice is knowing that AFO can control Tomura to this extent. By accepting to become a guinea pig, he became AFO’s puppet and I am not sure of how long it will take before AFO erodes his will and takes full control of him.

Horikoshi, think of the fanfic writers. When you show cool attacks, explain stuff about them, please. Because of you, I will have to spend an hour trying to analyze three panels.

Oh, that’s a meme waiting to happen.

Endeavor when Nejire and Shouto fight Shigaraki: “RUN! HE’S GOING TO KILL YOU! RUN!”

Endeavor when Midoriya was fighting Shigaraki: “Welp, this might as well happen.”

I don’t know what’s the more terrifying, Gigantomachia channeling the Rogue Titan or AFO having fun with Forced Quirk Activation. Okay, probably the later.

There should really be a limit to how long those tentacles can get, thank you very much.

Bakugou is awake and if I was him, I would go straight back to sleep but no, not him.

Does... Does he still have a quirk, though? I would like to see some sparks flying. Just to be sure.

However, he is right in the sense that they need to kill Shigaraki now. If he manages to escape, they will have lost everything. That would mean that another cataclysm can happen at any time and society will collapse. I am not talking about the hero society. I am talking full Dawn of Quirks mess.

I do not want to witness what so many people with uncontrollable powers can do when they are scared.

I am going to believe that Machia assumes that the second “Master’s scent” also comes from Shigaraki because with all the smoke in the air, he didn’t notice Izuku and his multiple quirks who are right there.

Also, Izuku wasn’t using cough... all for one... cough several quirks when Gigantomachia arrived, don’t think I didn’t notice it.

I was robbed from my Little Lord moment!

Shigaraki, every bones of his broken and the only reason why he remained standing so long is probably because AFO was manipulating his strings: “Oh, do tell me about your problems. It’s not like I can go anywhere after I was INCINERATED THEN BEATEN HALF TO DEATH BY THE INCARNATION OF FERALNESS. But please, tell me how hard it was for you.”

The small green child with broken bones isn’t named Shouto, Endeavor.

More seriously, you see Endeavor’s hand on Midoriya’s back? He isn’t checking that he is alright, he is actually holding him back because he is scared he is going to yeet himself again at the villains and try to finish the job.

That’s why you never make promises on live television. Too many witnesses that will call you out later.

Shouto is so fucking done at this point. He just survived a decaying wave, he showed up only to see all the heroes and his friends half dead, he almost got slapped by Gigantomachia, this is NOT the day to keep messing with him, and here is this asshole, all happy during the worst time of Shouto’s life.

As for Dabi... This man is hilarious. Look at how happy he is. His audience is here, too weakened to kick his ass, and now is the time.

Also, you see the bottle he is shaking? That was in the pouch he has been wearing since his first appearance. He was ready from Day 1.

Now, the riddle for the ages, the thing that interests me far more than what happens one panel later: what the hell is this and how did it bleach his hair so fast?

What am I hearing? Oh yes, the sound of ALL THE DABI IS A TODOROKI BEING VALIDATED RIGHT NOW. CONGRATULATIONS, FUNKY LITTLE CONSPIRACY THEORISTS. MAY KNOWING THAT YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG MAKE YOU LIVE LONGER.

Whatever you’re thinking about Dabi, you have to admit that he knows how to use a narrative. He has been sitting on this for years, waiting for the right time to do the most damage, and here he is.

Let’s all appreciate this rare moment where Shouto and Enji have the same face of “What the hell is going on?”

But more importantly, let’s all appreciate Midoriya who was once again dragged into the Todoroki drama. 

This has nothing to do with him, and yet, once again, a Todoroki appeared and felt the need to announce his entire tragic backstory in his vicinity. All those jokes about Todoroki never meeting Izuku because he would have coughed up his secret in the second were true.

Dabi looks so soft here and some part of me wants to believe that’s because he knew Rei would be watching. 

And by that, I mean Dabi is a Momma boy.

I am bravely trying to keep a straight face as this guy is about to explain us why he killed 30 innocent people instead of his dad or some members of the Hero Commission. 

I mean, Fuyumi managed not to snap despite many reasons, so really, there is no excuse.

More seriously, I hope that he won’t only reveal what Endeavor did. I want to know why he was considered dead. And I want to know if my theory about Touya being in the same HSPC program as Hawks is true, because there has to be a reason why he knows his real name.

Of course, for the last one, I can accept that Young Touya found a drawing of Endeavor and a young kid with red wings sent by a little fan through the Endeavor agency.

But I would much prefer to see more about the HPSC and how horrible it is.

The real victim of this chapter: Can’t-You-See-kun.

Look at how happy he is. I am pretty sure this is the best day of his life.

@pocketramblr​ is the one who realized that Horikoshi had to knock Dabi unconscious in Kamino because that man would have jumped on the occasion of screaming to the world who he really is, only to see society freak out.

There is 50% chance that AFO would have killed him for being more dramatic than him but, man, what a way to go.

*squints* Is that his hair becoming white due to the strain?

I am... actually not surprised by it. Dabi doesn’t know Shouto. And he isn’t Touya anymore.

The only thing Shouto is to him is Endeavor’s weapon to become number 1 and the child that stole his place and who made all his pain meaningless.

Endeavor: “Redemption arc?”

Dabi: “Hahaha NO. Step 1 of my plan where you get everything you want right before I make you choke on it.”

This is nothing short of breathtaking and once again, Horikoshi steals my breath away.

Make no mistake: Touya is dead. He died a long time ago. Only remains a rageful ghost hold together by hatred and staples. He will not hesitate to sacrifice anything to destroy Endeavor, be it himself, others, and even members of his family.

I have about zero regret for Endeavor but the rest of the Todoroki family? Dabi just took a sledgehammer to that and now, they will all have to live with the consequences.

Kudos to Dabi, though. He did what All for One didn’t manage to do. He wanted to ruin the number 1, to show that he was a liar and how pitiful he was. All for One failed to do so when he revealed All Might’s true form but Dabi executed that plan perfectly.

The other really good point about this is that no one will care about Izuku using multiple quirks. With how Dabi stole the show, Shigaraki will be lucky if people still talk about him. 

[jubileesstuff]

Headcanon: Tony Stark With A Demigod Child 2/2

Word count: 670

-the second Titan war is over, everything seems as normal as it can be, as the child of Hecate and Tony Stark

-your private lessons continue (did I mention that? You have private lessons)

-you are now 16, Stark Tower is now Avengers Tower, houses are blown up and Annabeth writes you a message

-which she never does

-Percy is gone

-yay

-with your half siblings you try to track Percy down through magic, unfortunately it doesn't work

-It's like he's dead

-but no, he's still alive, lost his memory because of Hera? or Juno? 

-you try to stay out of it, but it doesn't work out that way

-new demigods appear in Camp Halfblood, Jason Grace son of Zeus or Jupiter (the brother of Thalia Grace, your friend who used to be a tree and is now a huntress of Artemis), Piper, she is the daughter of an actor and Aphrodite and Leo Valdez, son of hephaestus 

-at the end Reyna, Nico, Coach Hedge and you bring the Athena Parthenos to Camp Halfblood 

-and after some shocking confessions (Nico is Gay and you Happy for him because you are friends) and too many near-death experiences, Gaea is defeated

-and Romans and Greeks friends :)

-but Leo is dead

-everyone is upset and grieving (until he shows up later with Calypso)

-your dad has a lot of questions, a lot, a lot

-where have you been? Are you okay? What were you thinking about sailing to Greece? Why don't you leave that kind of stuff to others?

-and you answer every single question

-you're doing your senior year at a real school 

-everything looks good for you

-you've made friends who aren't Demigods or have anything to do with this crazy mythological world.

-Harry Osborn for example

-your dad doesn't like him

-but Harry seems nice

-he introduces you to Peter Parker and his friends 

-you had decided never to tell your mortal friends about Hecate

-in the next time when there was no school you went back to Camp Halfblood, it was winter

-that meant it was quieter at camp

-you and your siblings started a war with Hermes Cabin

-you summoned bats to the Hermes Cabin

-the Hermes kids fought back

-and so it went back and forth

-until Chiron asked you to stop at last

-which you didn't

-You just made sure he didn't hear.

-when you came back into Avengers Tower, Steve and Sam (two of the Avengers) looked at you strangely

-those stupid Hermes kids had dyed your hair

-it actually looked good on you

-but that was really going too far

-you had only turned the Hermes children into pigs, a simple spell that dissolved itself after an hour

-but hair color? That was something more permanent

-clearly it would eventually be gone again, or you could dye over it

-but it was annoying

-the days went by and due to a little mistake of yours, (you tried to get to the fridge at night and got scared when there was another person, you turned the person into a rabbit out of reflex) Tony and you had to tell the Avengers the truth

-they actually get it well, since they also knew Thor, a Norse god

-some (Sam and Clint), sometimes annoyed you when they found out that your mom was the goddess of magic

- "Hey Y/N, does that Harry Potter spell really work?" 

- "Can you conjure up some chips for me?"

- "Do you know Harry Potter personally?"

- "What's my favorite witch doing?"

-Someday enough was enough and Clint and Sam had, quite accidentally of course, become guinea pigs

-after a long talk with your dad and Steve (and a lot of praise from Natasha), the two of them were human again

-you liked them better as guinea pigs

-it was all really great and then Apollo became mortal again

(-yay again)

-why can't you have your peace for once? 

-the short version: the gods were annoying and you considered joining the hunters of Artemis

[toomanyfandoms02]

The Photographer // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

So I made a one-shot based off of the picture down here!

Word count ~ 3.1k

Summary - y/n is a celebrity photographer, and Matthew's birthday is coming up. This calls for a birthday shoot.

Ever since I was in sixth grade, I dreamed of being a photographer. But back then, I was just taking candid pictures of my cat (Peanut Butter), and random flowers that my mom had graciously planted for me. I really never planned on taking nice, professional pictures of people.

But here I was.

I went to 'California College of Arts' in San Francisco for 4 years. After that, I had a bit of trouble getting myself out there. I had a decent following on my instagram. People liked the pictures of my dog, and the pictures of nature that I took on my many travels. But likes and follows don't get you money, at least not enough. So I switched my focus onto more interesting things.

Advertising yourself as a photographer wasn't an easy task. You had to be ruthless, and be willing to get rejected and not back down. So I did what any semi-sane person would do.

I messaged over 50 celebrities asking of they wanted to do a shoot with me. I sent them my prices, and what kinds of shoots I was willing to do. I didn't have much hope for it, but it was worth a try.

And that's where it began.

Out of all of the messages, Andrew Lincoln, AKA Rick from The Walking Dead messaged me back.

*Hello Miss y/l/n! I've actually seen quite a few of your nature shots and I have always wondered how your photos would turn out with people. I would love to be your Guinea Pig.*

He sent me days he was available and I did his shoot. After posting his pictures, my popularity shot from there.

That was a few years ago, I was now taking photos for multiple celebrities. I was ultimately known for my black and white shoots. I had, in fact, just gotten done with a shoot of A.J. Cook. She had requested *me* to take her pictures for an up and coming article that was being written about her. I, of course, gratefully said yes, being a huge fan of hers, along with the whole Criminal Minds cast.

I emailed her all of the pictures I had taken, edited and all, while simultaneously posting them on my instagram.

It was mere hours later before a notification popped up on my phone of an email that I could not believe. Theres no way that he was emailing me, right?

*You have an Email from Matthew Gray Gubler*

*Hi there! I saw your shoot on AJ's instagram and my birthday is coming up. My manager wants me to do a birthday shoot, and we both like your black and white style. I know it's not usually the kind of thing you, birthdays, do but I figured it was worth a shot, and I think you have some real talent. Let me know when you are free next. I am on a break so my schedule is relatively flexible.*

I could safely say that it was a good thing that I lived alone because I don't think I have ever screamed louder into a pillow. Matthew has been one of my favorite celebrities for the longest time. If we were going to be completely honest, once I started watching Criminal Minds, I immediately had a crush on him. This wasn't exactly the profession to be in if you were going to have a celebrity crush. I was often invited to red carpets and movie premiers, so I met quite a few stars. I never thought I would have to worry about slipping up on my professionalism.

Because I never thought I would even meet him.

My obvious answer to his request was yes. I would never *ever* miss an opportunity to have a photoshoot with someone so inspiring and meaningful to me. So I started writing an email back.

*Hi Matthew!*

Should I address him like that? Is that unprofessional?

*Hi Mr. Gubler*

Abso-fucking-lutely not.

*Hi Matthew!* We are gonna stick with that. *I don't know if this is too short of a notice, but I actually have a free spot tomorrow. (Of course if that doesn't work for you, I can figure something out for later, and try to fit it in before your birthday). I have a few ideas for props that I can send you? Let me know how I can help.*

I sent it and ran my hands through my hair, tossing my phone back onto my comforter. I had taken pictures of so many awesome celebrities:

• Selena Gomez

• Robert Downey Jr.

• Dylan O'Brien

• Grant Gustin

• Holland Roden

• Danai Gurira

But this was by far the coolest one, in my mind at least.

While waiting a little to anxiously for a reply, I decided I was going to make myself some lunch, Ramen. I set my phone on the counter as I boiled my noodles, peering over at the blank screen every few seconds (but really they felt like **minutes**).

Just as I was adding the flavour packet to the bowl my phone buzzed. I jumped slightly, spilling part of the packet out of the bowl.

"Damnit." I quickly wiped the salt into the trash can and snatched my phone, seeing another email.

*Tomorrow is actually perfect, and I would love to hear your recommendations on props, clothes, anything really. I'm going to leave my number on this email so we can have easier contact of that's okay with you.*

Wow, alright. I will now have Matthew Gray Gublers number in my phone. I made a contact for him.

**It's y/n, soooo for props. I figured I could bake you a cake! I took a few baking electives in college so I could make a really nice one and we can do something with it. I recommend you bring clothes you like to wear that are black and white. (Other colors work too, but it just looks and flows better if it's black and white). I will set the rest of the stuff up. I will be ready for you by 1 pm if that's okay.**

*You would bake me a cake?! That would be super cool thank you! I would love that. I will bring a few black and white outfits. Would it be weird if I brought a black and white Kimono?*

A chance to see Matthew in a kimono? Please yes.

**Oh my gosh please do. I would love to take pictures of you in an infamous kimono of yours.**

*Awesome! I will see you tomorrow at 1. Heres my managers info for you to sell the billing to.*

He attatched his managers email. I just sat at my kitchens island, smiling like a true dork at my phone.

**And here is my address, I run the studio at my house. What is your favorite cake and icing by the way? :)**

Was a smiley face unprofessional?

I need to chill out.

*Vanilla cake and chocolate frosting possibly? I will eat anything though probably. :)*

Now I was really smiling at my phone like a psycho idiot.

**Alrighty, see you tomorrow**

Since I didn't want to wake up too early tomorrow, I decided I was going to start the cake tonight. I had quite a few recipes held in my cabinets. I located my vanilla cake recipe and put my pre-made chocolate frosting on the counter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After about an hour of preparing, making a cake from scratch, and putting it in the oven. The cake was finally done and cooled. I added black cocoa to the frosting to make it completely black and got out my white gel.

*You made it 3 decades :)*

Was scrawled in calligraphy on the top of the cylindrical cake. I added white drips down the sides and white multi shaped sprinkles to the bottom part.

I set it in my fridge and got ready for bed. I know it's going to be hard to sleep just thinking about tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My alarm woke me up at 10 am, never before this had I woke up with a smile on my face before 12.

I took a quick shower and dressed in a white and blue floral romper with my hair in a high ponytail. Now it was time to set up backgrounds for the shoot.

I had two stations downstairs where I took all my photos. I set the first one up very normal with a white background and a rustic black stool. The second one was set up with another white background but littered with black streamers and big *30* black and white speckled balloons strung at the top.

Once I was done with all that. It was nearing 1. I slipped the cake out of the fridge and slid it onto my island. I glanced up at the clock above my stove.

*12:49*

Since I just had a little bit of time, I went a put some simple makeup on. I usually don't wear makeup when taking pictures of people, but for obvious reasons, I was making an exception.

Just as I was leaving my bathroom I heard a knock at my door. I walked swiftly to my door and opened it shakily.

"Hi!" He held up the clothes that were hung lazily over his arm. He smiled that million dollar smile and I could have sworn he looked me up and down.

Wishful thinking I guess.

"Welcome!" I stepped out of the doorway, silently inviting him in. "If you wanna set your stuff down, those stairs to the right lead you down the the studio."

"Thanks." He scurried down the stairs as I grabbed the cake and followed him down. I set it on a table that I had down there, he peered over at it and immediately burst into fits of laughter.

"I knew you had a sense of humor, so why put something normal and boring on the cake." I laughed with him as he tried to catch his breath.

"This is so perfect." He laughed a little more. "Thank you, so much." I shrugged with a smile. I posed him in front of the streamers with the cake.

He made some silly faces and smiled like there was no tomorrow. Next I brought him to the more plain station, sitting him on the stool. I looked through the lenses of the camera and glared a bit.

"Hey can you put your left leg up on the second peg of the stool?" I asked, pointing to his leg.

"This one?" He put it on the third. I shook my head. "This one?" He moved it down the the fourth. He was smiling a sly smile, seemingly challenging me.

"Let me do it for you." I had to pose people often, but posing him was going to be a little harder for me, considering I found him painfully attractive.

I moved his leg up to the second one and patted it.

"Now leave it there, so I don't have to help you again." I giggled, walking back to my camera. Taking a picture of him leaning forward on the stool and smiling. I then made him laugh and got a good genuine one of him leaning back and laughing. After all that, I proposed that we eat some cake and took a break.

I cut him a slice and handed it to him with a smile.

"So, tell me about yourself." He said, eating a bite of his cake.

"Well, I have always enjoyed photography. I love all types of art, so I also draw and paint often. And I have a black cat upstairs. His name is-" and I stopped, blood rushing to my cheeks. He is most certainly going to ask me the name, and I do not want to tell him.

He stared at me expectantly. "What is his name?" He motioned me to go on.

"Uh," I laughed a little awkwardly, setting my hands in my lap and staring at them. "His name is Spencer. As in Spencer Reid..." I glanced up at him and saw a huge grin break out on his face.

"So you like Criminal Minds? I never would have guessed. You just don't seem the type."

"Well all my memorabilia is in my room, just so people don't think I'm weird for having quite a few framed and signed posters." I smiled up at him, pushing around the remaining cake crumbs on my plate.

"One, That's not weird, that's awesome. Two, can I please meet Spencer and take pictures with him in my kimono."

I don't think I have ever heard a better sentence in my entire life.

"Yes, absolutely! I'll go get him." I clunked up the stairs on my search to find Spencer. I went to his usual spot first, my bed. Luckily he was sitting there, licking his outstretched foot. "Hi baby! You are about to take pictures with the guy you are named after. He almost as cute as you!" I grabbed him from the bed an headed back downstairs. I walked in with the accidental impeccable timing to see Matthew in his barely tied kimono, showing off his chest. My eyes widened a bit and he tied it off fully.

"Is this the famous Spencer?! He is so cute!" He reached his arms out at Spencer. My little fluff ball curled up into him instantly, cuddling into his silky kimono.

We took many many pictures of Spencer and Matthew together. I think maybe my cat likes him more than he likes me now.

"Okay, last idea. How about we just take some more up close pictures of me feeding you some cake?" It came put as a question because I didn't know how comfortable he would be with it.

"Perfect!" I cut another slice of the cake and brought it over to him. We were both sitting on the floor.

"This might be a little awkward, okay?" I giggled as I leaned back to get his whole face in the shot. This proved to be very difficult as I was using my left hand to take the picture. I fed him the cake with the right as he looked at the camera with a more seductive look. I could have melted into the floor.

I decided to switch hands so I could take the photos better, but now my very uncoordinated hand was the one picking up the cake. As I went down to get another section of the cake for another angle of feeding this sculpture of a man, I instead dipped my thumb right into the deep black frosting.

"Shit, I'm so sorry hold on." As I went to stand up and grab a napkin to wipe my thumb off, Matthew grabbed my wrist lightly.

"Hold on, uh, I have an idea, before you do anything." I sat down with a confused look. "I saw someone do this in another shoot. But we totally don't have to do it. I just thought it would be a different idea." His words were more rushed than usual.

"I'm sure I've done weirder things for other shoots, don't worry. It's *your* shoot." I reassured him, though my head was swimming wondering what he was going to do.

"Ok. So. What I'm going to do is put your thumb in my mouth, and I'm basically gonna, uh, suck on it while kinda smiling?" He could barely get through the whole thing without laughing.

"Alright, weird request but I like it!" I giggled for what seemed like the 30th time today. "And to make you feel better, yes, I have done weirder."

"Thank God."

"So I am guessing you want me to do something like this with the rest of my hand, ya know, the part that's not in your mouth." I stated as I placed my hand on his cheek. He let a slow breath out, staring into my eyes.

"Yeah, exactly."

"Okay." I said with a shrug, grabbing my camera from the ground. He opened his mouth with an all too familiar wide grin as I placed my thumb in. His mouth closed around it and he smiled, just a little. I brought my camera to my face, capturing the moment that I would have forever in my mind and in a small frame on my bedroom wall, for sure.

I slipped my thumb from his mouth and watched as his face turned extremely red. To save him embarrassment, I immediately stood up and grabbed a napkin to wipe the rest of the frosting off.

"Can I see it?" He motioned to the camera. I nodded, sitting down right beside him, showing him the picture. It showed off a closer look at the rose tattoos I had near my wrists and the shiny watch that was gifted to me by my mom. "It turned out good! I really hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"Oh no! Of course not. Total opposite." As soon as I said that I regretted it.

"So that made you extremely comfortable?" A sly smile was making it's way onto his face.

"That's, that's not- You know what? Sure, yes." I chuckled. "You don't really make me uncomfortable at all to be honest. So no, you didn't make me uncomfortable."

"Well I'm glad." He smiled and we sat in silence for a moment.

"Well I guess that's it yeah?" He nodded. "Well this was fun. Thanks for being an excellent subject to take pictures of."

He gathered his stuff as we went back upstairs. Once at the door, Spencer came up to him, rubbing on his leg. He bent over to pet him.

"So, I'm not sure if you are single or not." I could feel the blood draining from my face. Was this really happening right now? "But I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date?"

Yes, this was happening right now.

"Really?" I could tell I sounded extremely excited, but at this point, I didn't even care.

"Yeah, you are super laid back, funny, talented, and you aren't scared away by how weird I am." He laughed, "So yes?"

"I would absolutely love to."

"Great. I'll text you." He winked and waved as he closed the door, leaving.

My back went against the door. I couldn't keep in the squeal so I just embraced it and squealed my heart out, doing a little dance.

Which was quickly ended when I heard a knock at the door.

"I'm sorry, I want to get to know you better immediately." He let out a nervous chuckle. "Are you free for the rest of the day?" I was sure that my face was red as a tomato.

"Yes I am." He grabbed my hand, dragging me outside.

"Then let's go."

[ericsonclan]

A Comforting Melody

Summary: Clementine wanders around Ericson with Maisy to find Louis who has a new song to show her.

Word Count: 1796

Read on AO3:

Clementine walked through the silent hallways of the dorms, her footsteps the only sound save for the muffled voices outside in the courtyard. She took a deep breath and enjoyed the peace of the moment before Maisy stirred in her sling. Her baby began to cry softly and Clementine rocked her lightly as she walked forward.

“Hey, it's okay. I’m right here,” Clementine smiled down softly at her daughter. Maisy looked up at her mom with large eyes and seemed to calm down a bit. Clementine gave a small sigh of relief, glad that Maisy had settled down. She continued down the hallway and noticed that the sun was setting which meant that dinner wouldn’t be too long from now.

Her eyes wandered back down to the sling and noticed that Maisy looked rather sleepy. Maybe she could sneak in a quick nap time for Maisy but Clementine also wanted to check in with Louis. Considering her options for a moment, Clementine opted to find her husband before settling Maisy down for a nap. Wandering towards the doors Clementine carefully opened them and was hit with the sounds of her friends happily going about their daily lives.

Aasim had just gotten back from hunting and immediately went over to Ruby after setting down the catches for the day. He always made sure to find Ruby first to reassure her that he was okay after a day of hunting. Aasim smiled softly at his wife and stole a quick kiss before holding out his hands to hold his son. Ruby handed Zachariah over and Aasim gently held his son and placed a kiss on his forehead before rocking him softly.

To the right of the happy family Willy was busy trying to learn how to braid hair from Violet and Prisha. Renata seemed just as intent on learning the special art of hair braiding. Allison sat before Renata and seemed somewhat reluctant about being her guinea pig for this but the small smile on her lips made it clear that Allison wouldn’t say no. Meanwhile James was busy helping out with dinner prep with Omar. The pair spoke softly as the faint sound of knives slicing through the vegetables filled the air around them.

“Willy! It’s your turn for watch!” AJ called out from the watchtower, cupping his hands around his mouth. Willy groaned in annoyance, his hands hovering over Prisha’s hair. He was just about to start the first few steps on his journey to becoming the best hair braider of all. .

“Don’t worry, you can always practice later,” Prisha smiled back at Willy who returned the smile.

“Okay,” Willy hopped up from his spot and jogged forward towards AJ who was already waiting at the base of the watchtower. “Any funny looking walkers today?”

AJ thought deeply for a moment at that question. “I think one was stuck in a tree,”

“Really?” Willy snatched up the binoculars from AJ and scrambled up the ladder to the watchtower. He immediately looked out to see a walker who had its hand stuck in a tree. With a groan the walker yanked on its arm, causing it to tear off as it continued after a rabbit that was far too speedy for it to catch. Willy laughed and continued to watch on. AJ watched his best friend for a few seconds before his eyes caught sight of Clementine.

“Clem!” AJ ran forward with a huge smile. His eyes grew large when he noticed his little sister sleepily blinking at him from inside the slink. “Shit. I mean, shoot!” AJ quickly corrected himself before he realized he was talking too loudly again. A look of frustration covered his face as his lips pulled into a pout.

“It’s okay, kiddo,” Clementine laughed and ruffled the top of AJ’s afro. “Maisy and I are just going to say hi to Louis before Maisy gets her nap time.”

“It’s Maisy’s nap time? I gotta grab my shiv and go on patrol!” AJ didn’t wait a single second for Clementine to respond and was off like a shot.

“AJ, where’s Louis?” Clementine called out but he was already long gone. With a soft chuckle she shook her head and continued forward. She’d just have to find Louis on her own. AJ tended to get like this whenever Maisy was settling down for a nap. He’d either insist on going on a patrol to make sure no walkers got in and there were no threats around or he’d sit on the bed nearby his sister and keep watch. Either way AJ was determined that no one ever hurt Maisy in any way. Clementine found the whole thing very sweet, how AJ always wanted to protect his family so fiercely and how deeply he loved Maisy. It warmed Clementine’s heart.

Clementine strolled forward, lightly bouncing Maisy as she walked. If Louis wasn’t in the courtyard and most of the daily chores were done, then there was only one place he would be. Clementine immediately made a beeline to the admin building and knew her hunch had been right. For as soon as she had entered she could hear the warm, soft melody of the piano. Clementine felt a smile pull on her lips as she wandered forward towards the music room. Peeking her head inside she saw Louis, lost in his music as his fingers danced upon the piano keys. He continued to play for a few more seconds before he felt Clementine’s presence. Glancing over, Louis’ face instantly brightened when he saw his wife. Sliding off the piano bench, he strolled forward and captured Clementine’s lips in a soft, tender kiss.

“Hello, my darling. What brings you here? Did my alluring music draw you in?” Louis grinned before his smile softened as he became lost in Clementine’s eyes.

“It definitely helped me find you.” Clementine reached out and gently squeezed Louis’ hand. Her heart felt calm and light like it always did when she was around Louis. The two shared a smile before Louis noticed the sling.

“And who is this a-Mais-ing bundle of joy?” Louis gently picked up Maisy and began to rock her. Maisy smiled and gave a small laugh as she reached up to try and grab one of Louis’ dreadlocks. “Damn, how did our kid turn out to be so cute?” Louis looked over at Clementine with a warm smile.

“I think we’re both pretty cute so it only makes sense. Plus she has some of our best features, like your freckles,” Clementine poked one of the freckles on Louis’ face before bopping his nose. Louis’ nose crinkled with joy and he leaned forward and kissed Clementine once more. He looked down at his daughter with pride and love.

“Well, she had your smile,” Louis felt his heart grow warm when he looked at his daughter. “Oh, how about Maisy takes her nap in here? She always loves the sound of the piano plus the rocking chair is in here,” Louis motioned with his head over to the rocking chair that Willy and Prisha had made during the months leading up to Maisy and Zach being born.

“I thought the rocking chair would be on the porch of the admin building,” Clementine commented as she walked side by side with Louis towards the rocking chair.

“It was but as it turns out Zachariah also finds piano music calming. So sometimes when Ruby or Aasim want a quick break from their kid crying they sneak in here with Zach and soon enough my music conks him out.” Louis smiled over at Clementine and gently placed Maisy back into her mother’s arms.

He pressed a quick kiss to Maisy’s forehead then was pleasantly surprised when Clementine captured his lips in a kiss. Louis’ heart soared and he felt like he always did around Clementine, filled with hope and joy. He gave a dorky grin then pulled on the sides of his coat. “I happened to be working on a special little piece for our family when you strolled in. I’ll have to play it again when AJ is around. Where is he by the way?”

“He’s out on patrol. I told him Maisy was taking a nap,” Clementine gently rocked back and forth in the chair.

“Gotta hand it to that little dude, he’s nothing if not protective. It's adorable, him being so protective of our family,” Louis smiled softly; the pride for AJ was clear in his voice. “Well, he’ll have to hear this song later but for now I can give you a sneak peek,”

Louis’ smile was infectious and Clementine couldn’t help but return it. “I’d love that. Let’s see what you wrote this time, Freckles,” Clementine watched as Louis spun around dramatically, causing his tailcoats to flutter lightly. Louis pushed the tailcoats back and sat down. Taking a deep breath, he began to play the song. It was a soft, joyful song. The notes slowly filled the air, complementing each other as the song progressed. His fingers brushed against the keys and fluttered around.

Clementine listened to the music, closing her eyes to soak in every single note as she rocked back and forth in the chair. Louis’ music had always been special; the emotions that he captured in them were always so strong and clear. The notes danced around the room, filling it with the passion that was poured into the song. The joy of it, the tender love, the feeling of comfort and safety. Clementine felt like she could listen to this song forever. Before she knew it the song had ended.

“There, first time played,” Louis spun around on the piano bench and gave his wife a loving smile. Clementine opened her eyes and looked over at Louis.

“I loved it. Does it have a name?”

“Shelter,” Louis awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “Not the most original name, I know.”

“It's perfect.” Clementine’s words made Louis’ eyes shine with joy. Without thinking twice Louis got up and quietly jogged over to steal another kiss from Clementine. Looking down, he saw that Maisy was fast asleep.

“Works every time,” Louis gently took Clementine’s hand and brushed his thumb on top of it. The two watched their daughter for a moment before Clementine spoke up.

“Could you play the song again?”

Louis’ smile grew and he placed a quick peck on Clementine’s cheek. “Of course, my darling.”

Giving his wife’s hand a soft squeeze Louis moved back over to the piano and began the song once more. Clementine closed her eyes and took in every single note. Her heart filled with peace and abundant joy. To think that she had a home and a family. Clementine couldn’t help but feel extremely lucky. She was home.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #332

i’m even more tired than before to try and think up song lyrics, i’m pasting from Word and then fucking off to bed lmao.

What was the last video message you received on your phone? I think it was a clip of Doris (Sara's beardie) eating and just being her perfect self? Was your last birthday cake homemade or store bought? Store-bought. One thing you miss about middle school? Shit, nothing. Middle school was the worst. Do you have any shirts signed by famous people? No. Have you ever entered an art competition? Yes. Would you ever pierce yourself? No. I am very much about having a professional do your body mods/art. Plus, I have tremors in my hands. Do you live in a safe neighbourhood? Supposedly. We haven't lived here nearly long enough to know. What is the last thing you did that shocked someone? /shrug Do you often find yourself questioning your future? Only always. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Yeah. Do you like your license photo? I hate my permit picture. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favorite? Not very, but I like 'em enough. I always say my favorite is Deadpool, but I know he's technically an anti-hero, but whatever. If you don't include him, uhhhh... maybe Spiderman. Have you started watching any new TV shows recently? No. Have you ever been able pet a normally wild animal, like a tiger or dolphin? No. :( At least, not to my recollection. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. There's actually a winter treat 'round here that you make with snow and sugar called snow cream. Good stuff. What is the messiest area in your home? Right now, the spare room/my wanna-be "office." What’s your favorite computer game genre? Still horror, like video games. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? I'm completely financially dependent on them still. Are you a fast or a slow eater? I eat like, stupid fast, but without being messy. People *cough*Mom*cough* will absolutely point it out, but I seriously can't help it. Making a conscious effort to eat slow feels way too weird. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? I don't know. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? No. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Ew, no. Tell me what's on your mind? I've been considering yet again reaching out to some tattoo parlors and asking if they're open to hiring someone to handle the front desk and take care of business besides actually performing piercing and tattooing, given my tremors. My group therapy has kinda been encouraging me to use the possibility for social exposure, and besides, I'm very comfortable in the environment and just general aura of tat parlors. I'm sure I'd have to answer the phone, handle money, and obviously talk to costumers, but I know and accept that. I've been at such a stagnant point with my social anxiety in particular that I have to start pushing back harder, and doing this I feel would be one of the most relaxed, social job positions I can hopefully handle. I don't dare to even try this though until I get vaccinated to protect my immunocompromised mom. Writing this all out has actually been pretty encouraging about this idea... Do you wish you never dated someone you dated? Yeah, Tyler. It was such a "I'm lonely and he was nice in high school, so we'll try it" situation. I got nothing from it. Are you scared of growing old alone? Pretty badly. What are you listening to right now? I'm listening to/semi-watching John Wolfe play the remaster of Resident Evil 2. What breed was the last dog you saw? He was a German shepherd. Would you ever go swimming during a thunderstorm? No. Any time a thunderstorm was brewing and I was in the pool, I'd always get out. What is the next concert you will attend? Mom and I plan to see Ozzy when/if he reschedules his tour after he had to cancel with his Parkinson's diagnosis. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :/ What's the highest science class you have taken? I don't know, actually. What makes you squeal like a school girl? No shame, seeing Mark and Amy do something cute together actually does this, lmao. What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) Do fictional ones count? Because in that case, the Halo of the Sun from the Silent Hill franchise. I'm getting it tattooed somewhere at some point, I'm thinking the left side of my neck. I'm either gonna fashion it in a way where it looks branded on or carved into me. Have you ever been on anti depressants? For all of my pre-teen, teen, and some of my adult life. Apparently, I've only had one truly educated psychiatrist out of no less than a dozen I'd seen, because he fixed me right up. He taught me that those who suffer from bipolarity should avoid anti-depressants; they ramp up your bipolar symptoms. Instead, mood stabilizers are favorable. And what do you know, after I was prescribed a stabilizer and a catalyst for that medication, my depression decreased dramatically and became handleable. Have you ever starved yourself? Kinda. What’s the stupidest name you’ve ever given a pet? I had a guinea pig named Harry Potter. For no particular reason lmao. I'm not even a Harry Potter fan. Do you have nice legs? God no. Do you like fedoras? Okay so I know I am in the strong minority, but I actually do, haha. What is your favorite food group? Carbs. @_@ Have you ever got told that you should be a model? No, but one of the most flattering indirect compliments I've ever gotten was being mistaken for one. Jason's phone wallpaper was one of my favorite pictures of myself with my first snake, and someone asked him if I was a model. ;v;' What song is in a language you don’t speak, but you love it anyway? "Donaukinder" by Rammstein is one of my faves. Who’s a villain you sympathize with and why? SOBS Darkiplier bc his origins are so damn tragic and unfair. What book do you think should be directed as a film? Was The Giver ever made into one? I don't remember that book well, but I do recall it being absolutely beautiful. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? No. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Yeah. I have thousands on the Silent Hill wiki, where I'm one of the admins. I'm also a content moderator at the Team Ico (Shadow of the Colossus devs) one. Every now and again I used to go on the meerkats wiki as well, where I mainly fixed the fucking nightmarish grammar. Very briefly, I edited at the Dragons of Atlantis wiki as well. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? Not very, but of course I still acknowledge the risk and am more conscious of hand washing and stuff. What popular social media platforms AREN’T you on? Snapchat, I don't actually use my Twitter, I don't have a personal Instagram... There may be more, idk. Is TikTok a "social media platform?" Because I don't have that, either. What was the name of the first porcelien doll you got? Never had one, given I was afraid of dolls as a kid. What’s your favorite Paramore song? "Decode." Would you be happy with a life without romance? To be entirely honest, I'd feel like I was missing something. Was your childhood happy? Mostly. What fundamentally matters do you? Love, kindness, peace, all that gooey stuff. Is true world peace ever possible? As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think so. The human population is far too big to come to a unanimous agreement on anything. Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Yeah. Would you ever own a pet black widow spider? No. I'm getting more into the idea of owning invertebrates (I jabber enough about wanting tarantulas, and there are others, like mantises, I'm interested in as pets), but black widows, I'm not into the idea of having. Too venomous for me to be comfortable risking. If you have a job, what is the longest shift that you've worked? N/A Do you know all of the words to "Bohemian Rhapsody?" FUCK YES I DO. ^ Do you sing it with all of the different voices? sho nuff Do you own more than one copy of a certain book? No. Do you like interpreting poetry or just reading it for fun? Both. I love symbolism, so I get joy out of digging for subtle meanings in poems. Do you have a favorite Dr. Suess book? Yeah, it was always Green Eggs and Ham. Do you watch The Walking Dead? If so, favorite character? Not the show, but I've watched let's plays of the games, haha. In which case Clementine is inarguably one of the best female characters in a video game universe. Who has/had the most mature romantic relationship you’ve seen with your own eyes? Uhhh. I mean I never saw them much, but probably my late grandmother and her last husband. He was fucking incredible to her, and Grammy adored him as well. They helped each other so much and just obviously had the purest love between them. When was the last time you got something for free (legally)? What was it & have you enjoyed it so far? Lmao do balls in Pokemon GO count? Their occasional free boxes are the reason I can play the game because PokeStops are essentially non-existent here, so yes. What is the one fruit you can’t stand to eat? How about vegetable? The first one that came to me were oranges. I enjoy orange juice, but I just caaaaannot with the white veiny shit that you can't totally get off when peeling it. Without that, I might actually enjoy them, but idk. As for vegetable, asparagus is absolutely abhorrent. When’s the last time you actually recited the pledge? If you aren’t American, do/did you have anything similar in your country that you do during a time at school? Probably not since high school. Last person you shared food with? Ummm I have no idea. It's really just Mom and me here and we eat our own stuff. What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? I believe it waaas... "Down In The Park" by Marilyn Manson, maybe. If your life was a TV show, what would be the theme song? My inner high school emo just screamed "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by AD2R. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Gahdamn, there's a lot. I don't feel like going through a mental list in my head and then describing why. A character (in anything) you wish hadn’t been killed off? Vol'jin; I think the entire WoW fanbase will forever be pissed about it. It was THE most "lul we dunno what 2 do w/ him anymore, let's let a totally random, unnamed, unimportant demon kill him" like what the fuck, Blizz. Most of his "oomph" was in the book, and I just really wish they'd done so much more with him in the game. Has anything “cute” happened in the past week? Off the top of me noggin, no. When did you last say “I love you”? Did you mean it? Yesterday to Sara. OF course I did. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? Hi, PTSD, how are ya. Have you ever slept all day? Essentially. When I was on a larger dose of my anxiety med, I physically couldn't stay up for barely even five minutes, and when I'd lie back down, boom, I was OUT. I stayed on that dosage for I think just that one day, it was so bad. Can you have kids? Well, I have a functioning menstrual cycle, so I would assume so. Doesn't mean I will, though. What colors of mascara have you worn on your lashes? Only black. Do you like eating sour things? Hell yeah, I love sour stuff, candy in particular. Do you like pickles? fuuuuck yeah Did you ever have a really close friend move away? Yeah, in elementary school. I feel bad I can't remember her name at the moment... What's the most creative thing you've ever done? I mean, I guess the things I've written in RP. What's the most creative thing someone has done for you? For me? I don't really know. Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows? Sure, they're some of my favorites. What’s something you’d like to be better at? Social interaction. Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad? Yeah. Do you think you would make a good parent? No. I know I wouldn't. The only time I ever wanted kids was with Jason, and honestly, I really hope I don't end up with a man because I never want to deal with that urge again and make a mistake. I'm just in no way emotionally fit to be a mother. How many best friends do you have? Just one. What do you cry over the most? My PTSD, honestly. I never sob about it anymore, just shed some tears. What language did/do you take in high school? Latin for one semester, then all four available for German. Which sports do you follow? None. Who was the last person you talked about marriage or having kids with? About marriage, Sara. Kids, the subject was lightly touched upon with Girt, though "with" was never a part of it, but obviously implied seeing as we were dating with long-term in mind. Have you ever been in a house fire? No, thankfully. Have you ever made out for one straight hour? them is rookie numbers Are you any good at remembering phone numbers? No. I literally don't even know my own, nor my mother's. I need to fix that. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Girt. Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? No. If I gave you twenty bucks what would you do with it? Save it to go towards Venus' terrarium. Is there a movie from your childhood that you still watch today? Well of course! I'm unashamed to watch any "kids" movie I enjoy, like Disney ones. Most "kids" movies tend to be better than those intended for adults, it seems... Are you afraid of mice? Oh no, I adore mice and I think had a pair as pets before I got rats. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I can't really answer this; I haven't gone on nearly enough vacations to develop a theme. I can say confidently though it'd probably be something small. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't enjoy musicals. Have you ever watched Doctor Who? One or two with Sara, yes. I know we at least watched the weeping angels episode. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? Warriors by S.E. Hinton. Sometimes I wanna get back into them, but I am YEARS behind and more into Wings of Fire anyway, so. I don't read nearly enough for both. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Literally no trick seems to work for me. I just suffer lmao.

[brokenjardaantech]

captain allen appreciation week 2020 day 1 + 7: vacation + acceptance

notes:

i combined day 1 & 7 as they happen to be the theme of the same story. it's also a prequel to a fic that i haven't written a word yet.

a little bit background since i think things can be confusing:

allen's full name is Louis White Allen. his dad's french and his mom american, though he's raised in alaska. his sister, anna allen, is a commissioned officer in the air force. the siblings speaks both english and french fluently.

sara ryder replaces elijah kamski as the inventor of androids.

this fic is set in september 2038, about a month after connor was first deployed at the phillips' hostage situation.

tags: griefing, family issues, brief mentions of childhood neglect and parentification

ao3 link if that’s what you prefer

-----

To this day, Lou's heart hammers when he sees a call from the military. Last time he received one was ten years ago, and he ended up with more questions than answers, answers that he knows he and his father very likely will not get in their lifetime. Staring at his phone vibrating on the coffee table, Lou debates whether to induce his cats' wrath - one sleeping on his lap and the other he hasn't stopped petting since they finished dinner - by standing up and interrupting their naps. It's not like he's at his full mobility anyways; his cybernetics still needs about half an hour to sync with his nervous system properly and to download the newest software. Whoever the fuck is in charge of calling the family of a soldier who went AWOL in Göttingen can wait.

It seems that the universe has other plans, as the air suddenly becomes charged with static and the phone launches itself towards Lou's chest. The tip of his fingers are numb, a common occurrence after his and his sister's unexplainable outbursts, but he manages to catch the phone before it hits his chest or, heaven forbids, his cat, who is startled awake and promptly returns to sleep after her favourite bed has no intention to move.

He accepts the call. 'Allen speaking. I don't think I have family members in the military anymore.'

'I don't know how many of yours are with us,' the voice from the other end lacks the robotic quality of an android's, so it seems the military is still using humans to contact family members, 'but this concerns your mother, Commander Deborah White. You're the only next of kin we can reach, Mister Allen.'

Lou does sigh. Just as he thinks he can leave her behind after all these years... 'What about her?' Not that he feels strongly that she was gone, as she wasn't quite there for her family to begin with, but something about a Commander going missing on the flagship of a fleet always sits wrong with him; as poor of a mother Deborah White was, a woman with her service record didn't deserve to simply vanish. 'I thought she went MIA more than twenty years ago.'

'She was until a few hours ago. I wish I can break it to you more gently but... we found her. Her remains, at least.'

The beat of his heart suddenly becomes too overwhelming. The air swells with the familiar buzz of static, and it takes all of Lou's self-control to not break everything in the living room with a shattering hazard. There is also the urge to hang up, to pretend that this is just one of those weird dreams he never can remember the details of, because he doesn't need to be burdened with a closure; he wasn't close enough to her to want that, he tells himself. Knowing that she's gone is enough. However, 'How?' is what he says in the end. He closes his eyes, free hand buried in his cat's fur, trying to convince himself that he is doing this for his father.

'Your mother's bones were found in a sealed compartment in the USS Blue Ridge when we were scrapping her. She must've been sitting there for years. Her skull indicates that -'

'Thanks, but I don't think I need to know that,' Lou swallows, willing himself to not think of the implication of an intact skull. It would've been a horrible way to die, sitting in cold seawater for days, feeling her skin rot away before dying of starvation; he'd rather her snap her neck upon impact and go painlessly. 'Anything more?'

'Yes. How would you like to deal with the body?'

Something tickles Lou's chin. When he opens his eyes, he finds the third cat trying to squeeze himself onto his already-occupied lap and purring as if having sensed the human's distress and wanting to soothe him. He recalls how his mother joked that she would probably die at sea and his father's reluctant acceptance of the entire affair; Papa's resignation after he received the news, saying, 'At least she got what she wanted.'

'She spent most of her life at sea,' he replies. No need to rub salt on his father's wounds. 'Let her rest there as well.'

'Very well. If you wish to, a memorial will be held in two months' time. Families of other deceased will attend. You may find support there.'

Support my ass, Lou thinks. It's been twenty-something fucking years. Yet, for some reason, he still promises that he'll consider going before hanging up. His finger hovers over his father's contact afterwards, but remembering that it's midnight in France and that he has a month worth of leave accumulated, he opens his browser instead and starts searching for plane tickets.

----

A month later, Lou finds himself in the commune of Gâvres with a large backpack on his shoulder and missing his cats very dearly. They aren't even his cats, technically; his neighbours keep them as outdoor cats, and Lou, unable to stand the thought of them suffering out in the winter cold of Detroit, took them in, and now they spend more time at his than at their original owners'. Having dropped them off at Hank's - that man takes better care of his pet (now pets) than himself - Lou isn't worried - he doubts his neighbours will even notice that their cats are gone. Emotions are terrible things, however, and the purpose of this trip alone makes it different from all the time he has visited his father before. At least he hasn't just recovered from nearly dying from implant rejection this time.

'Louis?'

Lou turns when he hears his father's voice and the awkward weight reminds him that he hasn't taken off his backpack yet and has been standing in the living room of his father's house staring at nothing for the past few minutes. Not waiting for his son to take it off, Papa Allen crosses the room and embraces Lou, sweat and all. 'How are you?' he asks in French, and when Lou answers truthfully in the same language, 'I missed you,' somehow everything in the world goes right again. Fuck the deviant crisis, fuck the android-infested America that makes his nerves buzz every single waking moment, fuck absent mothers still managing to make a comeback years after she died. He's just Louis Allen, absolutely not a SWAT captain, not the only survivor of the Blast, not the pioneer/guinea pig of CyberLife's groundbreaking cybernetics technology.

He has to let go of his father. 'I hope it's okay. What I did with Mom.'

Papa sighs. 'How about you take off that thing first,' indicating the backpack, 'and settle down for now.'

So Lou walks up the stairs and deposits his backpack in the room designated as his, and, catching sight of the other bed in the room, his legs suddenly feel weak, and he lowers himself, trembling, onto his mattress. Smart, fearless Anna, whose brain always runs - ran - a lot faster than the rest of the world.

Who graduated top of her class and as the Valedictorian of the academy, and subsequently disappeared without a trace.

His left leg twitches. The feeling of something foreign using his body returns, and when he leans forward - with a difficulty that wasn't there before - to take off his sock, it reveals white and grey chassis. A stark reminder that he owes her his life two times over despite her being the younger sibling.

‘How come I’m still alive?’ was the first question he asked after he regained his voice. ‘Ryder threw a fucking building on me.’

‘I dug you out, Lulu,’ replied Anna. ‘Freaky glowy telekinesis finally has its use. I was hungry for hours afterwards.’

At that moment, Lou made the mistake of looking down and seeing his pure white leg. ‘What the hell happened to my leg?’

‘CyberLife’s newest tech.’ As if to demonstrate how he should use his new leg, she gave his feet a poke, and Lou nearly screamed from the sensation. He did not expect to feel anything at all, but apart from the looks, the leg felt...real. ‘Fucking building crushed half your pelvis, your entire left leg and a rib. It’s already minced when I uncovered you, so they need to rebuild everything from scratch. I asked them to add something that can help you control the telekinesis better as well, so we’ll need to test it out later. No more randomly exploding shit. And before you ask, yes, your junk’s unharmed.’

Lou’s coma-addled brain struggled to process the influx of information, and all he got was, ‘I should’ve died.’

Anna hit the break to what seemed to be the beginning of a technical jargon-filled rant. ‘Well yes,’ she gestured just like the meme, ‘but you lived.’

‘No one survives after being crushed by a building, Anna,’ he said, voice rising. Then he asked in French since English felt too raw, ‘Exactly how much tech is in me right now? And how long was I out for? Why did CyberLife choose me?’

She looked away.

‘Anna?’

‘I don’t fucking know, okay?’ she replied in the same language. ‘You were on the brink of death when I dug you out, and there Ryder was, offering to save your life for no cost. You were in a medically-induced coma for one month and was out for reconstruction for another. It took your body two weeks to get used to the cybernetics and...here you are.’

‘Ryder offered,’ Lou said slowly, ‘to save me? As in Sara Ryder?’

‘Yes.’

‘Anna, she was the one who threw the building on me!’

‘I know. One more reason to let her save you.’

‘But you did it anyway.’

‘I did.’

‘Even though you know it’ll probably come back to bite our asses.’

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

‘You know the answer, Lulu.’

And Lou has stopped denying that he does a few years ago. Anna joined the Air Force to fly, to be closer to the sky, but he knows that it wasn’t enough; from the way she turned her eyes towards the aurora when they were young, the attention she paid towards all news related to space observation and exploration, to the talks about leaving the wasteland that is known as earth behind and finding a new home in the cosmos - Anna belongs to the abyss of space. The military was simply a stepping stone towards something greater, a greatness that she must be working towards somewhere on this god-forsaken piece of rock.

The place where Lou’s flesh meets his implants aches in anticipation of the storm that will no doubt force them to remain indoors for days. Grinding his teeth in the numbing pain, he uses his hands to put his non-functional left leg onto the bed and lies down sideways with his back towards his sister’s bed, his phone buzzing in his pocket to notify him of an unexpected software error that may take hours to fix. Switching on do-not-disturb, he shoves the offending piece of technology underneath his pillow and loses his fight against jet lag and pain.

----

Lou wakes up cold and hungry. He is covered by a blanket that wasn't there when he fell asleep, so his father must have checked on him when he realized that his son was doing more than putting down his luggage, and the dark sky outside the window almost brings him back again before it flashes.

Then the booming thunder reminds him that it isn't dusk at all.

He successfully rolls over on his other side, which means that his cybernetics are functional once more. Kicking the blanket away, he sits up and grimaces at the taste of his mouth.

He feels better after his regular morning rituals, though the lack of three furry friends harassing him and brushing against his feet is something that he'll need to get used to, and his father is cooking lunch when he reaches the kitchen.

'Morning, Louis,' Papa says as he hands the pan over to his son. 'What did they drag you through to have you sleep for so long?'

Lou is glad that he can use concentrating on not burning his food as an excuse to buy himself a minute. Should he tell his father the truth, or should he avoid talking about work just like many people do during their vacation? 'Things are getting bad in Detroit,' he decides in the end as going on a vacation at one's father's house isn't exactly normal either. 'Androids are breaking their programming and starts having their own thoughts. CyberLife's trying to cover it up, but I've dealt with enough violent deviants - that's what they're calling those androids - to know it's gonna be a problem real soon if they don't solve it now.' A pause to think of how to continue. 'I'm glad you're not in America anymore.'

'It must be exhausting,' is his father's reply, and that's all Lou needs to realize that his father has no idea what he's talking about. Then again, the man moved back to France before androids were a thing, and although they kept in frequent contact, Lou never talked much about his work; the police getting reformed means that SWAT is deployed only when peace is not the option - that means seeing people get hurt or die constantly. Androids aren't really a thing in Europe, so his father never experienced the 'androids taking over everything and making everyone lose their jobs' shit. He won't understand.

'That's why I'm here.'

They lapse into silence as Lou finishes cooking and empties the content of the pan onto two plates. Never one for formality, Papa brings them to the living room, sitting at the corner of a couch while Lou retrieves his plate and fork and curls onto the window sill. At this proximity, he can feel the raindrops hitting the glass as if he is standing in the rain.

Papa clears his throat. 'About your mother, Louis.'

Lou tears his eyes away from the raindrop he's betting on to win. He hastily shoved some eggs into his mouth to buy himself some time to mentally prepare for the conversation. 'What now?'

What he actually says isn't what Lou expected. 'I'm glad about what you did with your mother's body.'

'Her skeleton, you mean,' he replies. 'What's left of it anyways. I don't think they found the whole set.'

'Still,' Papa isn't looking at him. 'That's what she would've wanted. And by I'm glad - I'm not opposed to it.'

'That's it?' Lou turns back towards the rain. 'That wasn't your reaction when they told you that she was MIA.'

'I was young - younger - back then,' a sigh. 'It wasn't fair to you. Or to Anna. Especially to Anna. I'm sorry.'

No it wasn't, Lou wants to say, but - 'I've made peace with it a long time ago. Mom, me and Anna, Alaska; that was all you knew. I... I don't blame you for it.'

He has to close his eyes and press his forehead against the glass. He considers switching to German to further detach his emotions, but then he realizes that nearly everything has fled his mind from disuse. Why does he think spending his vacation with his father right after they discovered that his mother might have died painfully a good idea?

'That's what I thought I'd react when you called me, you know?' Papa says. 'I thought I'd break down. Then I realized that I've moved on and... that's it. Hard not to after more than twenty years.' Even with his vision gone, Lou can still feel his father's gaze on him. 'You've done that for your mother. Have you, for Anna? It's been ten years.'

'Have you, Papa?' Lou asks instead of answering even though he knows his answer. 'Can you stand the thought of your daughter gone as well?'

'After your mother?' the father feeds himself a mouthful of food and swallows. 'Kind of have to.'

'Of course you did. I raised her, not you.'

That is the last thing he says to his father before the storm goes away.

----

Emotionally exhausted, Lou goes to sleep early despite waking up not ten hours ago.

He knows he’s dreaming as soon as he opens the door and discovers his childhood living room behind it. The room is dark, so the lights must have been switched off, and even though it feels like he has smacked his hand all over the wall it’s on, he still can’t find the switch. It does bring him closer to the window, outside where a storm is going on at full force and paints everything white, and although he knows that what he is seeing isn’t real, he dreads the upcoming and necessary shovelling.

The world is suddenly lit up from behind him, followed by the voice of Neil deGrasse Tyson and the clicks of a keyboard. When Lou turns, Anna is there sitting in front of the couch, her brother's homework scattered in a semi-circle around her, and an old, bulky laptop snug between her crossed legs. It should have been a normal day in their house in Anchorage had Anna been a child but not an adult, which is the form Dream Anna is appearing in - she is younger than him by nearly eight years.

‘Where’s the light switch?’ Lou asks, looking around for good measure. ‘As much as you enjoy Cosmos, a documentary about space isn’t sufficient lighting.’

‘Relax,’ says Anna. ‘Eye problems aren’t in our genes.’ Then, waving at the papers around her, ‘Everything’s done. Your teachers didn’t suspect a thing,’ she gets younger and younger following each syllable until her age makes sense, ‘but you asked me to do it on a separate piece of paper, so I did. Feel free to copy directly if you wish.’

That is when Lou realizes that she’s playing games on the notebook, something that looks like a simplified version of Temple Run but set in space. ‘No thanks,’ he says. ‘I’d like to keep the creases on my brain.’ Then he notices that his sister didn’t really answer his question, so he asks again, ‘How am I supposed to switch on the lights?’

‘With your phone,’ is the matter-of-fact reply. ‘Don’t tell me you uninstalled the fucking app for cat pictures.’

‘For one last time, Anna, I don’t download cat pictures.’ And it hits him. ‘Wait, phone? The house isn’t automated when you’re at this age.’

‘Is it?’

Anna stands up and stalks closer to her brother, and she grows and grows and grows until they’re off the same height and she looks... older, how she should look like if she’s alive she’s still here. She is now Major Anna White Allen of the United States Air Force, dressed smartly in her dress uniform except for her cap, which she holds in her right hand. Their surroundings have also changed to that of the Phillips' penthouse terrace, harsh wind whipping around them.

'You aren't real,' Lou breathes, feeling light-headed. ‘You - you’re gone. Just like Mom.’

‘Open your eyes, then. End this early if you want to. Forget that this ever happened. I don’t mind.’

It is followed by a terrifying moment of wakefulness, the images blurring and then regaining clarity as he stays asleep. ‘And Papa wants me to let you go,’ he says with a sad chuckle.

‘Why?’

‘We found what’s left Mom. How long do we need to wait to find what’s left of you?’

‘Why are you talking like I’m dead?’

‘Cause you probably are, like Mom?’

‘I know you think we’re alike,’ an eye roll, ‘but we’re different.’

‘Say you’re not dead. Where the hell are you?’

‘Does it matter?’

A blink. They’re floating in space, Anna dressed in some form of armor, and Lou in normal clothes. He attempts to draw a breath and wakes up choking and crying, the dream completely forgotten save for the faint image of Anna falling towards earth and getting burnt to crisps.

----

A few days later, Lou finds himself walking on the beach with his father. The sky is cloudy and the wind is strong, so it is cool even though it’s September and Lou grew up in Alaska. They started throwing questions back and forth ten minutes into their walk, some of them silly and simple and give them a good laugh, but the others -

‘Answer me honestly, Louis. Do you think Anna’s dead?’

It is easy. ‘No.’

‘Where do you think she is, then?’

Lou’s face suddenly becomes too hot to bear. ‘Does it matter?’

‘If it affects you, yes.’

‘I don’t want to talk about it. She wouldn’t want us to speculate.’

‘But she’s not here, is she? Maybe you’ll feel better after you say it out loud.’

Lou sighs, oh how the turntables… ‘In space, probably.’

‘You’d think we’ll hear about that.’

‘Secret space programs exist, Papa.’

‘Not in America.’

‘I never said it’s an American program,’ Lou says as he kicks a rock away. ‘Do you know what they said when I received the first call from the Air Force? They asked me if Anna has ties with other space agencies even though she’s never been in NASA; she just talked about other countries’ space programs so much that they suspected her having ties with them.’

‘Hmm.’

‘What does that even mean?’

‘You know you won’t see her again, right?’

Lou halts his steps. Anna? Gone forever? ‘Does it matter?’

Papa sighs. ‘You’re in denial, Louis. You didn’t do this with your mother.’

How dare he - ‘Of course I didn’t, she was barely there!’ he has to put a few steps between them. ‘I raised Anna! How do you think that’s even comparable?’

‘I simply don’t want you to live in uncertainty for the rest of your life.’

‘You just don’t know your daughter,’ he counters. ‘She told me she’ll come back.’

‘You know -’

‘You don’t know shit!’

He runs. His lungs and legs are strained when he gets home, his father’s home, but he doesn't stop at that. He packs his stuff (not that there’s much to put back into his backpack), jumps into his rental car, and is back in Brest before he knows what he’s doing. His return flight is next week, so he has a lot of time to kill.

In the end, he takes a trip around the country alone, going to places he both never had time for and, if he’s been there before, misses dearly. He may have forgotten what they’ve talked about, but he remembers Anna visiting him often. The images flee his mind whenever he tries to recall them, but he doesn’t think they’re talking on earth, and he always wishes that he at least remembers some of it.

A few months later, he’ll learn that his speculations are closer to the truth than he thinks. A few months later, Louis Allen will prove his father wrong.

But he doesn’t know that yet. Therefore, after collecting the cats from Hank and unpacking his luggage, he takes all of Anna’s things and puts them into a box, telling himself that it is the first step towards admitting that maybe, it’s a big fucking maybe, he will never see his sister again.

[sincerity-moi]

Found-Family Prompts (Top Secret Military/Government-Unit Edition):

. Everyone who works with the “Main-Team” lives on-base (because reasons)

. Everyone has their own role to play in the blooming “Family”, even if they don’t give a flying fuck initially and don’t want to bond with anyone when they first meet the team (The Old, Grizzled-Veteran is the "Dad"/"Mom", the Middle-Aged Buffoons are the "Aunts" and "Uncles", The Sort-Of-Experienced-Ex Rookies are the "Older Siblings", and the Newest-Recruit straight out of enlistment is the "Baby").

. They probably don't deal with what would be considered "Normal" Military-Stuff and the wacky bullshit of their job never fails to bring them closer as a family

. There are probably a few recruits who didn't come out of the traditional military wood-work (Bonus points if these are the "Older Siblings" and not the new rookies, because them being a "Bad Influence" on the "Baby" and getting yelled at for it by the Veteran is some top-tier stuff!).

. "What the hell do you mean that you're only 18/19?!........ I know that you're technically and adult, but there's no way in hell that someone as young as you should have been placed in such a dangerous field!".

. There is a token "Snarky One" and He/She is constantly annoying everyone on purpose (Particularly after a traumatic experience, which they deal with by being a shit-head to certain people).

. The token "Sweet One" is surprisingly OKAY with the Snarky-One's snark.

. The token "Trouble-Makers" aspire to be as petty as the Snarky-One, but usually fail miserably because they just aren't wired for it.

. The Veteran is just so tired, guys.

. "THAT'S MY RATION, PUT IT BACK YOU SHIT-STAIN!".

. "ENOUGH!, We can get more rations at the next stop!".

. "Do you ape-shits ever shut the hell up?....".

. Love is communicated through Bro-sults (Insults from your bros).

. Somebody is keeping a Not-So-Safe (Or normal) pet which they found on one of their missions and now everybody wants a pet because of it, the Veteran/s have to put their feet down and say "No, this isn't a petting zoo!".

. Somebody buys a rat at the local pet-store just to spite their superiors and now a rebellion has begun (The Veteran/s cannot for the life of him/her/them figure out how everyone is fitting fully out-fitted luxury Guinea-Pig and Hamster cages beneath their bunks, and are starting to blame themselves for making said bunks bigger than normal Military-Grade).

. The one Super-Natural/wild pet which started this mess is not pleased by the little animals' presence in it's new home, but it tolerates them because it's human is friends with their humans.

. Nothing ever goes right during inspections (But somehow the unit stays afloat and continues to be funded).

. "Wait... so you're saying that your bio-family has been holding Get-Togethers during holidays for years and not inviting you just because they can't accept that you're a little different from them?, ALLOW US TO THROW YOU A CHRISTMAS PARTY OURSELVES AND THEN KILL THEM FOR YOU!".

. "NO, PLEASE DON'T!, I APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT BUT THAT'S ILLEGAL!".

. There are a lot of instances where someone will wake up from a PTSD-Related nightmare and have a "I know that this is super odd given our line of work, but can I sleep with you tonight?... my own bed is lonely and the darkness is making me uneasy" moment.

. It's not uncommon to find a pile of these morons on the same bunk in the morning after a particularly hard mission the night before.

. There has to be a total of eight pets on the base when all is said in done (Including a dog and whatever the hell it was that one of the soldiers initially brought home).

. "HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU GET A PUPPY PASSED BASE-SECURITY?!".

[mythicvls]

          WHAT’S CRACK’A’LACKIN Y'ALL ?!?!  my name’s sun  AND  i  live in the cst time zone. ( T E X A S  BBY 🤠 )  i hope ya’ll are all having a good day, afternoon, night !! whatever time it may be where you are out there in the WORLD. sorry i’m a bit late but i’m super excited to get this show on a roll. <3333  . i suck at intros, so pls bear with me.,  buuuuut !! i’ll be introducing, brianna and leo . one is your crazy inventor who works in the forge, and the other is your uptight hero who is obsessed with doing everything by the book. if you wanna know more about them, check out what’s below !!  like this and i’ll go to your messages to spam u with love. THANKS  . 

♡    ——    MEET  BRIANNA   !!

[  PARK CHAEYOUNG, SHE/HER, CISFEMALE  ]  —  [  BRIANNA  BANG  ]  is a child of  [ HEPHAESTUS ]  with the power of  [  TECHNOKINESIS & ENHANCED CRAFTING  ] .  they were born in  [ 1997 ]  and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2013 ] .  with the change, they  [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM ]  the  [ TECHNOLOGY ]  role which makes sense since they’re usually  [ CREATING NEW GADGETS & GETTING OTHERS TO TEST THEM OUT ]

(  ABOUT PAGE  )

its ya girl , brianna bora bang !! aka bree !! daughter of hephaestus and one of the smiths who works in the forge .

growing up, bree’s childhood was relatively calm and uneventful. she was raised by her single-mother, who worked as a mechanic and though they didn’t have much , her mom still managed to get by , supporting them both the best she could. :’))

tbh, bree didn’t think a lot about her family’s financial situation when she was little. though, with that said,  she was a bit of a pain. 

not because she asked for, or constantly wanted material things, but rather, from a young age she had a knack for taking stuff apart and trying to put them back together again. fascinated by figuring out how certain devices worked. 

that habit eventually turned into bree taking things around the house, and makings ‘ improvements’ or crafting something completely new with the different parts she’d collected from items lying about.

 her mother living pay check to paycheck , was certainly in awe of brianna’s talents, but the young girl’s creative outlet definitely caused  some strESS !!

as one can imagine, she got in a lot of trouble as a kid. having a bit of a mischievous streak coupled along with her curious and imaginative tendencies. her mom wasn’t too happy when she came home to find the vacuum deconstructed , with brianna claiming there was a certain component she needed for the jet pack she was planning on creating

throughout her life, bree was always gathering attention, whether is was due to her odd personality, or the things she was creating. however she was especially attracting people’s attention when it came to the science fairs she enjoyed participating in while she’d been in elementary and middle school --- bringing something completely unexpected to ANNIHILATE ( as she would say )  the competition. 

but, brianna created so much buzz, it wasn’t uncommon for her to end up in local news papers as a young ‘genuis’. 

one time, even recruits from MIT came to check out to see what all the talk had been about. 

 when expressing their interest in her, her mother politely declined their offers. thinking bree may have been too young to consider making decisions like that at the time.

 [ yet, because of the news circulating bree, nl had been another group to approach her mom, along with hephaestus in hopes to provide brianna a safe haven from the potential threat of monsters (etc.), though her mother also refused that offer at the time ]

SO basically, bree just vibed through her early years creating a bit of mischief and making cool stuff with her handy dandy tool box ( or more like her mom’s tool box lmfao) 

she went about every day life as a regular kid, completely unaware of her relation to hephaestus until she neared the age of sixteen.

as she got a bit older, her mother fell in love with a pretty well-off guy who worked as an developmental engineer for the united states milt.. they got married and brianna then had a new step father in her life. despite him being much more strict with her. more than what her mom had ever been , they all got along pretty well. more than anything , bree was jus happy for her mom. 

and, it was a plus that they weren’t struggling as much as they originally had been thanks to his financial help.

however, due to an unfortunate turn of events , and a christmas tree having caught fire; their house burnt down. her mom and her stepfather were rescued by the fire department. unfortunately the same couldn’t be said for bree. watching the house engulfed in flames, they worried frantically about their daughter who’d still been trapped inside. but when bree had escaped through the fire by herself , uninjured and not suffering any burns whats so ever. her step-father , along with the fire fighters that had come to help , were hELLA FREAKED OUT. 

her step-dad was straight up like, i don’t fuk w demons.

and it was after the incident that her mother finally revealed the truth to bree about her biological father, and eventually gave her the option of going to nemean lion. which was information brianna’s mom had for quite some time, but had chosen to keep it to herself , simply cause she wasn’t 100% comfortable with bree leaving her so young.  

THANK GOODNESS THEY NEVER EXPERIENCED A MONSTER ATTACK.

though with what had happened, and her step father’s reaction, bree and her mother came to the agreement that it was probably best if she left for nl. 

she eventually moved in after a couple months of trying to make things work at home ( a compromise she made with her mom ). it didn’t work out sadly, and as soon as she turned sixteen, brianna became an official resident at the hotel.  having stayed at nemean until now !!

when she first got to nl she pretty much just embraced the change. throwing herself into training and what not, trying to figure out where her place was , all that teenage stuff. ‘tryina find urself uwu’ . 

AND she did go on missions quite a bit before the change happened !! having enjoyed tagging along to make some extra money, but her obvious calling was always at the forge. 

brianna now and before, has always had a reputation for walking around nl trying to convince people to give her latest weapons or gadgets a go !!

before the change happened at nl, bree was sorta all over the place. (  A MESS !! )  but her goals have become more focused thanks to entering the technology track. so once again, she embraced change with open arms. 

she’s totally digging the improvement that nemean lion has made.

after graduating from her track relatively fast; working on stuff  is what she mainly does nowadays. 

she’s most often found at the forge. cause when she gets an idea, she’s gotta get it done. she has no chill.

yeah, brianna is smart. but on the highkey, she’s only really knowledgeable in her field of expertise. 

SO, SHE DOES HAVE THAT CHAOTIC STUPID ENERGY COURSING THROUGH HER VEINS. if you ask her to do something dumb, she more then likely is gonna be down / say yes. skdjlfsjd

though bree isn’t necessarily materialistic, she is kinda obsessed with money, and making money. $$$$🤑🤑 part of it has to do with not having  had much growing up, and she wants that security YA KNO. but also , she doesn’t feel totally comfortable asking her mom/step-dad for money. so she out here making her own!!

 money is a big motivator for her.

overall, brianna is a brash, outgoing, oddball who is incredibly determined and hardworking. 

cause she’s always tryina get that promo, she can come off a bit opportunistic, selfish, and conceited when it comes to her inventions. typically she means well, she’s just a bit on the crazy side. 

 she has those mad scientist vibes.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS !!

first friend brianna made at nl ( someone who was around in 2013 ) 

people she often trained with / went on missions with before the change happened

friends she’s known for a while here at nemean lion

loyal customers who commission weapons ( etc.) from her regularly. cause she likes you, she’s always down to give you a good deal.

double trouble --- just two chaotic souls, come together to do fun shenanigans. 

other people who work at the forge with her

brianna’s go to guinea pigs !! basically she goes to ya’ll when she comes up with a spicey new gadget, weapon, invention, knowing ya’ll are almost always game to get your hands on what she’s got for you.

impulse control --- pretty self explanatory, this person just settles her down. probably a mom friend who keeps her from doing dumb impulsive things.

people she just bothers bc she’s got a cool idea for you, but maybe you’re just like nah.

this person has been on the end of one of brianna’s failed inventions that didn’t turn out so hot. so now you REFUSE to try anything for her again.

people in the ambassador track she is constantly trying to get seen with her gadgets for that promo. she really wants to sell her inventions / sell her patents to big companies. $$

exes !! maybe there was DRAMA, or maybe it was a super chill split. if you wanna snatch this up, we can really do whatever ur vibin’.

enemies

frenemies

a mentor when she first arrived at nl ( someone who was around in 2013 ) they really helped her have an easier time adjusting to everything when she moved in at sixteen.

♡    ——    MEET  LEO  !!

[ KIM DOYOUNG, HE/HIM, CISMALE ]  —  [ LEO PARK ]  is a child of  [ ATHENA ]  with the power of  [ ENHANCED OBSERVING  &  ENHANCED STRATEGY ] .  they were born in  [ 1996 ]  and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2011 ] .  with the change, they  [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM  ]  the  [ HERO ]  role which makes sense since they’re usually  [ TRAINING or READING IN THE LIBRARY  ]  

(  ABOUT PAGE )

the son of athena, and a graduate from the hero track !!

honestly, leo’s life before nl was pretty boring.

 he grew up in a super small town and was raised by his grandparents after his dad pretty much bailed .

leo was an incredibly bright kid. he learned to read as well as write at a crazy young age, but because he was brought up by his grandparents his taste pretty much reflected his upbringing.  he likes super old music, movies. etc. and he’ prefers considerably less exciting pass times such as  reading books or playing games like chess. he always goes for a walk super early in the morning too which is something he picked up from his grandpa.

leo’s grandparents took care him when he was very little, but as leo grew older he found himself returning the favor and  instead helping his grandparents as they themselves aged over the years.

no one in his household was aware of leo’s ties to his biological mother athena. mainly cause his father never explained anything before he left the family to be on their own. 

leo’s life dramatically changed after he experienced a monster attack when he’d been fifteen years old. 

basically some demigods from nemean lion saved the day and thankfully nothing terrible happened. but leo’s identity as a demigod was finally exposed  to himself and to his family.

 he had a really hard time saying goodbye, as he worried how his grandma and grandpa were gonna do without him. however, he feared putting them in danger above all else. 

he was then taken to nl, where he spent his time up until now.

after he was rescued, leo couldn’t help but look up to the others who regularly went on missions and hunted monsters. naturally, he worked hard with the aspiration to be like them. 

 a lot of that also had to do with why he picked the hero track when the change had come about at nl.

if it wasn’t for moving, leo would have never realized his supernatural abilities. and it was through persistence and intense training that he was able to develop his powers over time, as well as pretty fast.

he has always been incredibly dedicated and disciplined. 

tbh he kinda has those old man vibes, even when he first arrived at fifteen.

 he takes missions and everything a little too seriously. 

he doesn’t really know how to have fun either. so when he is on hero duty, he is super STUBBORN about doing everything by the book. trying not to get too crazy and always wanting to make sure extra precaution is taken. 

he’s not about them risk. he really wants to ensure that there’s little to no damage that will be done if he can help it.

comes off grumpy most of the time, but it’s like 95% bc he kinda just sucks when it comes to people.

 social interaction is not his thing which is why he could have NEVER gone into the ambassador track lmfao.

LEO IS A RULE FOLLOWER, NOT A BREAKER. 

though he’s diligent, responsible and honest, he can also be EXTREMELY gullible, too straightforward, and at times, come off  as nagging or bossy.

overall, he just wants justice, and to ensure things are done right. but he’s not the best communicator, so instead of being diplomatic about it, a lot of the time he’s just like, ‘i’m right, you’re wrong’dkjsldjf

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS !!

people leo has known or been friends with for a while

other demigods who he used to train with or currently trains with regularly

( friendly ?? ) competition --- likely another hero who has graduated from the hero track

someone currently training in the hero track who has asked to shadow leo ( BONUS POINTS IF THEY ARE CHAOTIC AND LEO IS DESPERATELY TRYING TO WRANGLE THEM IN FROM THEIR WILD WAYS, ESPECIALLY WHILE THEY ARE OUT DOING HERO TINGZ )

the demigods who saved leo when he was fifteen ( someone who was around nl in 2011 / before )

unexpected duo----no one would have thought these two would be super close. after all, they are polar opposites, but this person gets leo to come out of his shell 

leo is super uptight, and because of that, this person enjoys messing with him. 

another person that frequents library just as much as him

maybe leo lowkey has beef with someone because every time he wants to check out a book, the mysterious person ‘insert muses name’ always has checked it out before him. one day when he’s talking about it, he finds out it’s YOU!!!!!!! how it plays out is up to whatever u’re feelin. but turns out they have the same taste in books. 

other people that are also uptight like leo and that’s why they get along so well

enemies---for whatever reason the two don’t mix

someone leo has an unrequited crush on , bc he’s lame

[justjessame]

Babysitting Butcher Chapter 32

Life as a human guinea pig is a strange thing. First of all, there's the questions. The same questions over and over, to the point where the machines and medical doodads and the noise that became almost normal for me, but the questions became the irritant of the day.

"How are you feeling today, Dr. Taylor?" As I'd squint into the bright light being forced into my marrow it seemed. A muttered reply from me, and honestly the same answer in varying degrees of annoyance or acceptance depending upon the day and how many times I'd been asked it so far. "Uh huh, and are you feeling warm? Is there tenderness in your abdomen?" While they poked and prodded, testing skin, muscle, bone and eventually blood.

Did you know the average human adult has around 1.2-1.5 gallons of blood which equals roughly 10 units? I know this because I wanted to be certain that I'd have enough after all the blood testing. Research would either be the way I kept sane or what finally pushed me over the ledge into complete madness, mark my words.

Billy visited, as often as he could, and every single time he'd greet the head poker in residence with his own version of the repeated question game. "How is she? What's the bloody progress?" At which I would inevitably check the arm that seemed to be their favorite vessel for bloodletting. "How much longer?" And then he'd meet my gaze and focus his attention on ME, rather than on my medical condition.

Yes, I was calling it a condition. If I let the reality of my situation fully grip me, then I'd scream. And I had moments of it, trust me.

How would you feel if every single time the man you loved walked in and spoke about your person as though you were a petri dish experiment before reminding himself, through sheer force of finally SEEING you, that you were in fact the woman he loved?

Now take that feeling you just got from that scenario and add the annoyingly taunting voice of the caped asshole who caused this whole fucking irritating bullshit situation reminding you that you fell in love with a man for whom hatred of supes is as natural as inhaling. Feeling just a hint of discomfort? Just add the sound of beeping, buzzing, and dripping to remind yourself of the fact that this was all happening while I was being held hostage as a "let's see what happens if we try this mixture to counteract the demon juice flowing through her veins" was tried over and over.

Strained. My nerves, body, and brain felt strained. Even after the feeding tube was gone and Billy could kiss me. Even after I was given the go ahead to work from my hospital bed. Frayed would be a kind way to say how absolutely on edge I felt.

And the worse part? I felt like I was missing something. Something important. Something paramount. Just out of reach and as though, even surrounded by my laptop and notes, something that was keeping me out of an important loop.

The longer that I stayed in the 'undisclosed medical' location, the more that I wanted to be anywhere else in the world. Literally anywhere. I started to yearn for Bolivia and the Black Ops team that had gotten caught up in the web of a rogue agent and 'died' implicated in a massive fuck up of epic proportions.

When a rational woman who knows how the inner workings of other people's brains and behavior follow reliable patterns starts thinking fondly of the heat of a tropical place where she had to wade through more red tape than most people would assume humanly possible to unravel the truth, all while hearing the type of rumors about the men she was trying to clear and resurrect from faked death, then shit has hit epic levels of horrible. It did remind me to contact that team to see how their return to their former lives had worked out, and wonder if their leader had gotten over his own tragic ability to attract murderous women.

I wanted to go further than the small courtyard deemed safe enough for me to explore, and near enough to make them taking me off the dialysis machine after another fun round of 'clean her blood again' reasonable. I wanted to sleep in my own bed and watch television at my discretion without interruptions for another round of the questions and poking I wanted, in short, to be back to normal already.

I might have been empathizing with Billy's urge for the Vought wankers (his word, I swear) to find the magic solution so life could go back to the routine we both wanted a return to. Or I might have been trying to only see the positive outcome, since there was a creeping feeling that maybe, just maybe there wasn't an easy fix or a fix at all.

A month passed, with my cabin fever slowly increasing by the day, and with it my internal and external temperatures. Oh yeah, that's right, I might have forgotten to mention that while the steaming was at bay, now it was just my actual body temperature that would fluctuate and freak every single fucking person all the way out. When Billy said I nearly went "nuclear" he hadn't been joking, apparently I could have fucking exploded like a goddamn human time bomb and I didn't want to consider just how fucking messy that would have been for the janitorial staff.

Finally, maybe because I wanted some type of control about the questioning, I started asking some probing ones of my own. And what I found, when they would meet my eyes and answer me as fully as I wanted, was that that creeping feeling was growing more likely.

The issue wasn't simply that they didn't know which variation of Compound V that Homelander had me infected with, it was that as they broke down the components and addressed each one, my body didn't simply fight their attempts, it attacked itself. The asshole, it would appear, had basically chosen the self destruct version, and it was trickier than any puzzle these 'real doctors' had ever come across. I was truly feeling the confidence of having a toddler performing my brain surgery with this knowledge.

Oh and that wasn't all, even IF they figured out how to 'neutralize' the formula inside of my bloodstrain, then there was a probability that I could pass it on to any future children. Isn't that some kind of amazingly poetic bullshit to hear after you chose to evict a foreign invader from your uterus? That the one stabilizing agent I'd had scraped and dumped was the ONLY one that I would ever get to actually be allowed to experience. Remind me to send Homelander a HUGE fucking thank you card, would you?

Early into my first true consciousness, before I found out just how fucked the pompous dick had made my entire existence, Billy had told me that my parents had visited while I was knocked out. Apparently near death experiences make even the weirdest of families reunite. And mine was no different.

Mom became a regular visitor and I was shocked by how much I started looking forward to her visits. She was strangely comforting, and tried to keep my spirits up, she even made peace with Billy. Dad was less frequent in his contact, but Mom told me it was difficult for him to see me look like a shell of myself.

And I did. I looked like a ghost that's haunting what was left of my body. The feeding tube had kept me nourished, but my muscle mass had suffered from the amount of time I was forced to spend in bed. I was constantly tired, my work hours going from nine to six to an hour here, a few minutes there, and the amount of napping I did would make most house cats jealous. The gowns that I wore hung from my frame, my appetite was scarce and I felt like this was the LONGEST goodbye letter ever to be written.

As the days passed, one merging into the next without me taking stock of how much I missed, how much that puzzle of what I was missing had bothered me early on, the negative ideas started creeping in. Homelander's voice grew louder. His smug question about Billy and me and what my condition would mean for the two of us in the end kept pushing through my attempts to distract myself.

I was sitting in the soft chair they'd brought in for me by the window, staring out and thinking of my options when Billy came in for his visit. I heard him, in the background noise of beeps and whirls, ask his questions. I felt him when he was nearer to me, but my eyes stayed on the 'view'.

He started to greet me, but my mouth opened and the question came out without me thinking about it. "How will you do it?" I watched a leaf, one missed by the obsessive groundskeepers, dance in a breeze I wish I could feel. He was confused, his reflection showed that much. "When you kill me, how will you do it?"

"Veronica," I could hear the pain in his voice, the fear hiding behind it. "I wouldn't-"

"Frenchie then?" I tilted my head considering. "MM? Hughie barely managed to make the choice with-" I stopped and took a breath. "Kimiko?" I sighed and pulled my legs up onto the chair, hugging my knees. "I hear she makes quite a mess of her prey." My voice wasn't loud and it didn't sound anything more than resigned, and I was a little curious. "If you can get Starlight to do it, you could make it seem like self defense? Or," I sighed, and bit my lip, "it would finally give you a reason to take her out too."

"Ronnie, love, that's not gonna-" I turned and he flinched when he saw that I was serious and not the least bit upset. "Ronnie?"

"Billy Butcher, I wrote the book on you." My smile felt wrong to me, but right at the same time. "I know you inside and out, or at least I think I do." I had the research on the flash drive that was hooked into my laptop on the bed. "You are single minded in your focus and your focus has been on eliminating supes from the world for a very long time." I turned back to the window, staring past the view and at the reflection of the room behind me. "It was one of the things I found the most attractive about you, I think. That you could see a goal and pound away until you master it." He sat in the chair close to me, but at a distance far enough that he'd have to work to touch me. "So, how will I die, Billy?"

"You'll die safe and sound, of old age in our bed, Veronica." I smiled sadly at this pipe dream of a fairy tale he wanted so badly to believe. "When you're sick of me, remember?" I could hear how badly he wanted it to be true, how much he wanted to hold me and it to all be a terrible dream.

"Never took you for a nursery rhyme and fairy stories fan," my eyes were still on the window. "This isn't going away, Billy, what he put in me isn't going away. And you will start to look at me like you look at him." My eyes found his, and face to face I wanted to force him to see it. "You will. And then, just like you, Frenchie, and Hughie brainstormed about Translucent and the best way to end him, you'll start to consider my pressure points." I gave a harsh, humorless chuckle. "And the funniest part is that Homelander built mine in for you, all you have to do is take me off the blood cleanse for a day and my own body will do it for you." His eyes tightened at the reminder of how many close calls I'd had. "Oops, I guess I just planned it for you."

"Please don't." He was begging me to let him pretend it wasn't the truth, that he wouldn't lose me too, and because of the same supe as Becca's cause of death. "Don't do this."

I smiled sadly, knowing he knew, even without me telling him, what was going to happen next.

[lilly2ac]

Pearl Blight: The truth about my life

I realize I have not yet spoken about what brought me here as a narrator. I have a habit of talking a lot, telling people a lot about myself while simultaneously staying secretive. The multiverse is vast, and I am just a speck within it.

My name is Pearl Blight. I am 18 years old. My birthday is February 4th. I wish to be a writer when I grow up. I hate swearing. I see myself as ignorant because I am unable to detect moods. I feel the CMY color wheel is superior to the RGB color wheel. I tend to be social and outgoing. I have a habit of putting the blame on myself. I have a habit of going into tangents. I have insomnia. I identify as pansexual. I feel closer to Gal than any of the other people I work with. I am a narrator.

I will not pretend to be someone who is bright and bubbly on the outside with a dark secret eating away at them on the inside, I do not have a dark side of myself. I have a sad history that I have been trying to move on from. I do not wish to return home, however, I feel the story of my home needs to be told.

I was born to a Jaden and Silver Blight on February 4th, 2002. I had a happy childhood. My mother was in the army and was away constantly once I was around 6, however, I was close to my father. I would write stories or plays for him. We would go on walks in the evening together and just talk about whatever we felt like.

I still loved my mother, and the three of us would always do fun things together when she visited. I remember back when I didn’t really comprehend what my mother’s job actually entailed, I would write silly stories about her fighting a dragon or saving the world from aliens, and she would always listen.

Around the age of ten, my father started having a friend over, someone he had known since college by the name of Lojilee. They would hang out in the living room together, have a few drinks, and talk about life, their jobs, and things bothering them. It was never taken further than that. I used to write about her as well, portraying her as this evil scientist. I do not know why I thought of her that way even back then, however, I clearly knew what was wrong.

Then, things started to change when I was thirteen. One day, I woke up and walked downstairs, my dad on the phone, frantically talking about a huge storm approaching and moving with Lojilee to keep us safe. He told us to pack what was necessary and that we would be leaving soon. We were gone within an hour.

We moved into this bigger house, with many people I had never seen before. There were a few people around my age, some a bit older and some a bit younger. We all got to know each other pretty quickly and would play games to pass the time.

A few days after we left, there was news about changes in temperature across the earth, fires breaking out, and a report that the radioactivity from the sun was now considered deadly. I remember I stepped outside for a moment and the smell of smoke was unbearable. Luckily, the house was well ventilated.

The heat wave followed with rain. Once the rain started, Lojilee knew what to expect. They patched in the windows and doors on the first and second floor to make sure no liquid would get in, and yet still had all of us move to the second floor to be safe.

The rain continued for about a week before finally stopping. There was about 20 foot flood. At this point, it was considered an end of the world event and there was no contact with the outside world. By the end of it, we had all retreated to the third floor to stay safe, even though the house managed to stay stable. We also managed to save a few more people who were stranded by the flood, helping them get in before the sun could kill them.

About two weeks after the flood, the water was down to a bearable amount, and the ground started to shake. There had been multiple earthquakes in the area, massive ground-splitting earthquakes. It was a miracle that none of them hit our shelter, I don’t know what would’ve happened if they did.

There were multiple earthquakes spanning over a week, then a windstorm hit. It started out with large, hundred mile per hour winds, followed by tornadoes. At this point, I had no idea how this house was still standing. It was as if it was designed for this tragedy.

After the hurricanes, there was nothing. It seemed as if it was all over. In fact, even the temperatures began to stabilize themselves. After it went quiet, no one looked outside for what seemed like a month. During that time, we kept ourselves safe and busy. By the time I decided to leave the house, it had been three months since we had moved in.

I decided one day early in the morning to step outside. I decided to see what the world had become, however, I was shocked by what I saw.

Most of the houses had been destroyed in the storm, and there were trees, flowers, and other flora where they had been. I expected to see nothing, but instead, it was as if our house had been teleported to a forest, untouched by anyone within the last century. What was even more odd was that it seemed like there were orbs of light everywhere, adding to this beauty created by the destruction of our world.

Losing all sense of fear, I walked around what had once been a small suburban neighborhood on the nicer side of our small town. I started following one of the orbs of light that appeared, feeling a familiar warmth of it. I was reminded of my mother...

I wondered what she was doing. By the time we left, she had only been gone for a month. Dad said once it was over, we’d likely be reunited, and that mom was going to help others escape the tragedy. I hoped she was ok wherever she was...

I returned to the house, not telling anyone what I saw. It seemed the worst was over.

About a month after that incident, we had all officially left the house for the first time.

After two months, we received contact with the outside world.

After six months, the official percentage of deaths was released. It was announced that 80 percent of the population had perished.

And one year after the incident, we learned my mother had not survived...

The people within our house had started to rebuild as a small community. Thirty seven of us had been sharing one home for months. I don’t think any of us kids had questioned the circumstances at the time, however, it started to become clear that Lojilee knew this event would happen and had prepared to keep as many of us safe as possible. It was lucky that my dad knew him.

We had all worked together to build a small community where our town once stood. We were rebuilding from scratch, surprisingly managing to stay stable, however, tragedy struck.

Seven of the people had fallen ill, my father being one of them. No one seemed to know what it was. First, they stated they started to feel warm. Then, their hair and eyes started to change, with no pattern or explanation. Soon after that, they started acting aggressive. They had to be separated because they were attacking people. I was not allowed to see them.

It was soon after that that Lojilee started acting odd. She was not ill, she had just succumbed to madness. It was odd to watch, seeing how we were more free than ever now, we were no longer trapped in that shelter, we were in the process of rebuilding our own town, creating a new community.

She acted cruel, vindictive, and unfortunately, I was her victim, her guinea pig, she had me working for her as a lab rat, purring myself in risky situations so that she could try to learn more about this virus and how it could have connected to the apocalypse.

She switched to blackmail, and would use my own father against me, saying he wouldn’t be cured unless I continued to help her. This continued for about three years, until my father couldn’t take it anymore, and ended his life.

In my time with her, we learned about the existence of the multiverse, and she learned how to leave our universe. I had decided I had enough, and a month after the death of my father, I left.

I decided to hide in the doodle sphere for about a month after that, polishing my writing skills in the hope of finding a place where I could make it as an author. I learned about narration, an amateur job for those over 18 where you would follow the playable characters of the Creatortale AU and write about their life. I applied, got the job, and was assigned to narrate Tier, Creatortale’s Frisk.

I am so happy to have gotten this opportunity. I am happy to have started over my life a second time. I wish the best to the residents of my old AU, however, I do not wish to return.

I told this story so that you could gain a better understanding of what my life has been like. I want there to be a record, within Creatortale, of my story, and the story of the tragedy that struck my AU. And if have taken the time to read this, thank you. I am thankful to be able to share this story with you, and I hope you have found some meaning behind it.

[ifdragonscouldtalk]

Life Updates

Hi y’all. I know a lot of you haven’t heard from me personally in awhile, and so I wanted to give some updates and explain some things.

So, life summary of the past year. I’m 20 years old, a junior at a prestigious university. Two years ago I began to be treated for hypothyroidism in addition to my treatments for clinical depression and anxiety disorder. My medications created a thyroid storm last September, putting me in the hospital for a week and setting back my recovery. Last November, my dad lost his job, and although he found a new job by January, we’re still suffering the effects of the income loss for those three months. This September, I caught a cold which fucked with my thyroid meds, leading me to become increasingly lethargic and lack focus. This drop in my adrenal function due to the thyroid misfunction led to me having to medically withdraw from this semester of school. I have two guinea pigs. I used to have one, Toby, and over the summer I wanted to get him a friend, so I got Trajan. Trajan had a genetic disease which I didn’t have the money to test and cure, so I decided to keep him on painkillers until I could hopefully get the money to run the testing. He died only a month after I got him. Then I got Tacitus, because Toby had gotten used to having Tray around. Tacitus was healthy, but in August Toby got a bad cold over the weekend, and I had to take him to the emergency vet. He’s okay now though.

Why does this all matter? It explains some of my medical and financial situation, and why I haven’t been online or writing as much. Part of it is I’ve pretty much moved on from Marvel. It doesn’t really motivate me anymore. But I’ve also been having a lot of health struggles that have made simply getting out of bed and being awake for more than an hour very difficult. And I was working two jobs trying to pay off the vet bills from Trajan and from Toby’s cold. I had to quit those jobs along with school when I got sicker, meaning I still have a huge amount on my credit card and owe my mom some money for covering vet things while I’ve been short on cash. I’m working on getting another job now, as you guys have helped me with (thank you!) but I’m waiting on responses.

Continuing. Yesterday, I had an appointment with a cardiac neurologist, and he told me he was almost positive I have a condition called neuropathic POTS. Neuropathic POTS is a condition where the small neurons in my limbs, the ones that directly connect all the muscles and veins and tissues to the main autonomic nervous system, have broken down in their saline barriers. This is small fiber neuropathy. The small fiber neuropathy means that when I stand from sitting or lying down, unlike in a healthy human my nerves don’t send signals well enough to make the veins in my legs respond to the pressure change as they should -- when you stand, your veins in your legs contract to create more blood volume in your chest and head instead of having it pool in your lower extremities. Without the proper nerve signaling, my veins don’t contract well enough. This is the POTS part -- it leads to dizziness, fainting, migraines, and a whole plethora of other health issues. It is an autoimmune disease, and it’s suspected to be linked to my hypothyroidism, as a certain type of hypothyroidism that my mother has called Hashimodo’s Disease is also caused by autoimmune problems, and I have eczema, another autoimmune problem. Neuropathic POTS cannot be confirmed without testing, but the tests are being done over the next six months, as my doctor is booked very far out (I booked this appointment with him for the initial screening over a year ago).

This diagnosis is good. It means that there’s something to be worked with, that it’s somewhat treatable and I can begin to make changes to feel more normal and become more active, instead of being trapped in a body that faints at the first sign of strenuous activity. One of those changes is to get compression stockings that will help prevent blood from pooling in my legs.

These compression stockings I’ve been prescribed are medical grade. You can’t get them over the counter. They’re 40-50mmHg, they’re not like something you’d get at a sporting goods store. We have to buy them from a store an hour away from my house. You have to be measured for them so they fit correctly and compress enough but not too much.

They’re $300 each.

My insurance deductible is $300 for medical grade equipment. We don’t have that kind of out of pocket money right now. We’re considering getting lower grade compression just so that I have something, because it’ll improve my quality of life, but even those can run $90-$150, and we don’t have a prescription for that so insurance won’t cover it. I’m not saying we’re suffering or that I can’t do without it. It seems I’ve lived with this condition for many years, and I’m going to live with it for many more. But it’d be nice to have these because my doctor told me 5 things that would improve my quality of life 85% and help me keep up with other people my age, and this is one of those things.

If you have POTS, I’d love to get to know you and learn more information about living with this. If you don’t have POTS but know about me, I would really appreciate it if you helped me out by supporting me on ko-fi or on patreon. I can’t give you anything in return. I don’t have the energy for that. But you’ll have my unending gratitude and probably some tears as well.

Anyway, that’s an update on my life and an explanation for why I’ve been so absent. If you have any questions about my medical conditions, please feel free to ask. I’m very open about my experiences with them. Thanks, I love you all.

Talon

[prissypickle]

My story

Hello, my name is Haley. I have been struggling with mental health issues since I was just a kid. It severly started in 2014 when I was diagnosed with clinical depression and I started cutting. My first cuts came when I sent nudes to a person and they posted them all over the internet. That was the first time I cut. Things got worse and worse. My mom also had mental health issues at the same time. She had problems with alcohol and when she drank she would OD, when she tried to kill herself I blamed myself and my mental health got worse. I started cutting more and more. I made cutting accounts doing what most people hate. Posting my cuts and all my suicidal vents. When I had my suicide attempt in 2014 my mom found out about it and made a friend delete everything I posted. When I got out of the hospital I made another account @fuck.you.hello.kitty which I abandoned because it became too overwhelming. Shortly after I left the hospital I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I kept cutting without my parents and therapist knowing. Never getting help dispite me getting “help” years passed everything the same me cutting. My mind has blocked out my highschool years except the time my mom attempted suicide and this girl accused me of rape and drugging her. Also Penelopie Sweet sweet penelopie. (My therapy pet) Those I cannot remember what year it happened. My mother almost died. They had to do a precordial thump and she revived. I almost lost my mother. My junior year this girl accused me of rape and drugging her infront of the whole school. I went to the police telling them what happened and they said it was considered bullying and it wasnt a crime. My junior year I also won prom princess. And guess who I was up against. The girl who accused me. The day I graduated was the second happiest day in my Highschool carrer. I had several panic attacks but I made it. I finished highschool and I was ready for college. A few weeks before I started college I had to put my 5 year old guinea pig penelopie down. My therapy pet. My angel. My hero.

I took one college class a writing class and I loved it. During that I broke my ankle by my own hands. I never told anyone this. But I broke my own ankle. I hit it with a baseball bat until it was black and blue. I was inlove with self mutilation and heres the sick thing. Ive done this on 3 different occasions.

A year after penelopie passed I got rafiki. My bearded dragon. He is the sweetest thing in the world. He is a mommas boy. When I was in the hospital he was so depressed I was gone. I just got my letter for him as my psychiatric emotional support animal.

Its 2020 now. And I got out of the hospital for a suicide attempt. While I was at the hospital I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. What landed me in the hospital was I took a handfull of ativan and I wrapped something around my neck. I started to get addicted to ativan and I didn’t realize it. I didnt realize until the other day that I was addicted to pills. I wanna take pain pills and ativan to numb the pain. I took 2 pain pills today. Im 40 days clean from self harm and Im on my road to recovery.