#[u know its so weird for me tbh to want a lot of different things for jack but have them all on the same blog--]

[cherries-in-wine]

SPOILER WARNING FOR AOT JUST SOME OF MY RAMBLES

English is not my first language please don't be mean okay thank you <3

honestly I didn't hate eremika as much as I thought I would- both of them are emotionally immature idiots who feel a lot but have no idea how to deal with said feelings. their relationship is definitely a lot of wasted potential but idk they are cute in their own imperfect and somewhat uneasy way. was that ending scene weird definetly but like eh gothic romance fan I've read and seen much worse things and called it peak romance so it's like weird but like okay also im very drunk slightly tipsy and I just finished aot just cuz I wanted to feel something and man I feel a lot of things also I think there might be a cultural difference too because in the west it's all like gulululu sloppy kiss gulululu fucking and like I grew up with old Bollywood romance where mfs don't even kiss so stolen glances and flushed cheeks and "ill always wrap your scarf over and over again" means wayyyy more than an infinite number of kisses. I get why people don't like it but yea I like them they are so fucking embarrassing and stupid. Eren's randi rona (hindi phrase exact translation is whore crying but semantics is probably bitch whining) was so funny and pathetic i've never laughed so hard but it is embarrassing in a way that makes so much sense for this suicidal maniac. I thought I would hate mikasa because I linger in the subreddits because social media kalesh and lafda is something I feed off of like a vampire sucking blood after escaping the coffin that held them for centuries (kalesh/lafda is hindi for fights) anyways so silly goofy fun idk what y'all are on about she's so kool not really a Mary Sue because she sucks at emotional intelligence and as a leader like definitely too driven by feelings but tbh I love that about her and her bond with other characters is so precious to me. I get why she's unlikable she is so flawed but idk I love her. the fanfic writers are so mean to her like oh my god why is she always this weird obsessed stalker that gets in the way of eren and y/n and historia is always someone y/n is insanely jealous of like please why can't we all be best friends and braid each other's hair

A little something about erehisu too- tbh I don't think its obsessive desperate fan behaviour like it's a very good ship imo. I have mixed feelings about it but idk lowkey makes sense. not in a "these people are great for each other and will be so cute as more than friends" way but more like a "oh wow they have a lot going on, they are good friends and the people they love are people they can't be with so it would make sense if they both are emotionally vulnerable enough that they end up doing something" kinda way. would've definitely made it more interesting because I thought sidelining a character like historia who had so much potential would hopefully have a bigger meaning and some greater part of Eren's plan but no bro is an idiot who has no idea what he is doing.

Mixed feelings about historia too- I liked her arc but the amount of plot armour that surrounds her kinda pisses me off. also the irl jaegerists and incels on reddit are so annoying they've made her into chaderen loser's trad wife who sits at home with the baby and shakes her head with a disapproving pout when he returns home after genocide like I know for a fact canon historia would be disgusted by this narrative. also oh my god the lengths these people go to prove that her relationship with Ymir was just a one sided obsession and not a lesbian romance is insane. like yea historia doesn't have to be lesbian she could be bi but that relationship was definitely mutual and romantic

I have sooo much more to say maybe when im sober ill organise everything and make it pretty but im in my senior year of high school with like no time on my hands so idk will see please stick with me but always thank u for reading meri jaan have a lovely day/night :))

[placeinthisworld]

ttpdta review part one 🤠

let me preface this by stating that i am a swiftie first and person second in this situation. i have grown up with taylor and feel as if shes my big sister- yes i can make fun of her but if i see anyone else do it i will get fiercely protective. i do understand her music is not only art but also her form of therapy. that being said, throughout these nonsense notes i am constantly mentioning that taylor should go to therapy. i am aware of what she has said about therapy (and why she doesn’t go) but i would beg to differ with her…especially after this album release lol.

taylor is an extraordinary storyteller and song writer. i believe this album is full of evidence of that, but it also has some faults that prevent from being as good as i felt like it could have been. overall the album feels rushed.

i also feel like it’s important to recognize the elephant in the room. i know we probably all expected this to be a joe breakup album, so the fact that it turned out to be a “fuck you matty healy” album shook us all a little bit. i know matty had a controversial history, im not gonna sit here and defend him. i don’t know much about him other than what is forced against my will. i do however know that he struggles with mental health issues/ substance abuse/ addiction. i’m not gonna comment much about his personal issues, i don’t feel like that’s right and taylor’s constant references to drugs throughout ttpd definitely rubs me the wrong way. i should also mention i grew up with an active addict and do view things from that perspective, so i feel slightly triggered by the topic and my feelings about that may just be personal but i do mention that in my notes when it’s relevant.

lastly, i am not a music production girlie idk shit lol. i only know i am a aaron dessner stan so any song with his name im already biased towards and i am aware, if u don’t like that idk what to tell u lol. i just know what i feel like is “good” or “bad” but music is subjective🫶🏻

1. Fortnight:

Hate the functional alcoholic part. Like the beat, the chorus is catchy. One thing i love about a taylor swift song is that theres always a story and its always visual. I like the metaphor of the “good neighbors” of like having this teasing/ longing feeling for someone that you could have had a life with. “Your wife waters flowers/ i want to kill her + my husbands cheating/ i want to kill him” feeling like you were robbed of her life, feeling “all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february” reminiscing about the short period of time where you were together and convinced it would last forever (only for it to end before it even started). I do not listen to much post malone but i enjoyed his verse!! So many florida references we get it everything bad happens in florida.

i have not seen the video yet oooopsies

2. Ttpd:

i thought this was the opening of Hey Stephen (the remix) or something at first. gotta say i absolutely love the way she sings “you left your typewriter at my apartment/ straight from the tortured poets department” i enjoyed the vibe of this song, and lyrics up until the “you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate (OKAY SOOOOOOO ME CODED NGL I LAUGHED at this point i could let this lyric slide- bit then she had to mention the charlie puth and golden retriever thing and ngl it almost ruins the song entirely for me. Tbh when i first listened to the leak i thought this was a fake AI song and that i was sending around a fake leak bc these lyrics started to get a little weird to me. ‘Sometimes i wonder if youre gonna screw this up with me/ but you told lucy you’d kill yourself if i ever leave” …………girl i am begging you to see a therapist (side note did anyone else have a friend in hs whos bf would say that shit a lot?? I remember straight up fighting with a friend who refused to break up w her bf bc he would threaten to end his own life is she did and he was like 16? If an adult is saying that same shit i would be Very concerned not gossiping about it???) “i chose this cyclone with you” my first reaction was: ride the cyclone the musical? Overall i liked the first half but you lost me at charlie puth (hes the one with eyebrow right? I think i get him and miles teller mixed up) (i dont know who either of these men are)

3. My boy only breaks his favorite things:

Okay tbh i thought this was gonna be one of my least favorites, but the total opposite happened. I think this is one of my top 5 favorites on this album. I do think that there is a difference between a poem and a song and that they are not always interchangeable. I feel like if this was edited into a poem it would be KILLER. The visuals, the the story, the vocabulary, the sadness in it. “Im queen of sandcastles he destroys/ There was danger in the heat of my touch/ once i fix me/ hes gonna miss me/ i felt more when we played pretend then with all the kens / cause he took me out of my box” i feel like ever since folklore, taylors been trying to push these big fancy words and sometimes it feels awkward and forced, but this is one of the rare songs that doesn't suffer from that.

4. Down bad:

meh. Chorus is catchy. I dont love the narrative “fuck it if i cant have him/ i might just it would make no difference” but i also have never once experienced that over a person before lmao……….taylor go to therapy. Nothing really stands out about this to me otherwise. No offense, but it sounds like a generic jack antonoff song lol. Like maybe if another artist released this, i would enjoy it more but idk i wouldnt expect it from taylor i guess. Just kinda feels boring to me sorry if u enjoy it <3

5. So long, london:

oh man were done with british men now for real for real. “ two graves one gun. I'll find someone” its over for joe and matty (but thats fine if all she has to say about joe is what i think she said on this album i am happy i think We Get It…) Aaron dessner i love u (remember when he reposted me on his ig ahh).”i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift/ pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away” + “I stopped trying to make him laugh/ stopped trying to drill the safe/ i didnt opt in to be our odd man out/ im pissed off you let me give you all of that youth for free” oof i FELT that one a LITTLE too hard. I think this is both a song about matty and joe- i think she had a life and an attachment to london just in general through both relationships, “im just mad as hell because i loved this place” and so reflecting back on how both are over and how all those plans with either are done. “You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days” OKAY kinda hate this phrase bc it feels like shes placing blame on whomever’s mental health/ depression, like as if they made the conscious decision to sacrifice the relationship solely. This very much feels like “how much sadness did you think i could take before i got bored???” overall top favorite songs bc it doesnt have too many cringey or odd lyrics and the production is 10/10 thank u aaron dessner ilysm king

6. But daddy i love him:

tbh when i got the leak this was the first song i listened to bc i thought it was gonna be the worst one and i wanted to get it over with (i was RIGHT until she dropped that second half……..) and i DIDNT have the lyrics obviously so i couldnt for the life of me figure out if she really said “im having his baby…..NO IM NOT!” until the VERY end of the song and bro…….the cringe. The cringe. The cringe. This is also when i started to question if this was real or if i was passing out a fake leak, lol. I dont understand how she could be saying this shit about matty. And like we all know it lol. “Sometimes growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all” …….but like does it??? I feel like thats kinda an oxymoron or something like i understand what shes trying to say and MOST of the time her metaphors and comparisons make sense to me but like this one doesnt. Growing up precocious means to grow up more advanced in maturity, how would that also mean not growing up at all? Is it just me getting stoned and overthinking things? “Ill tell you something about my good name/ its mine alone to disgrace” true that bestie ur doin a great job by being so politically quiet over the past couple of yeats after making a whole asss documentary about wanting to be on the right side of history. But I digress i am just one of those bitches performing soliloquies you'll never see. Overall this song is very weird and cringey imo and i wish it stayed in whatever vault it was sitting in lol.

7.Fresh out of the slammer: “In the shade of how he was feeling” -_- dont like this narrative already. I could honestly go on a rant about why i dont like this song but im going to spare for the sake of my sanity in this review of thirty one fucking songs but its along these lines “to the one who says im the girl of his american dreams” oh brother. otherwise i dont care for many of the lyrics, the chorus/ melody/vibe is mid i guess. It sounds like another jack song (i was right)

8. Florida!!!: “all my friends smell like weed or little babies” okay i know what she was trying to say but im SORRY you cant tell me she couldnt think of ANY other way to say her friends are either parents partiers lmao. Deserves jail for that but luckily the vibe and the chorus of the song are really catchy and florence’s voice is beautiful in it. “Well me and my ghost we had a hell of a time/ yes im haunted but im feeling just fine” CHILLS i loved it. I didnt think i would like this song but (maybe as much as i like no body, no crime which is meh) but no i lowkey love this song and think its really fun. Once again the drug references start to get heavy here in the album and like i mentioned i do get slightly triggered by drug mentions.

9. Guilty as sin?:

okay taylor we get it you masterbate. Another strong jack song and it’s pretty similar to others on the album so nothing besides the sexual lyrics stand out.

10. Whos afraid of little old me?:

“if you wanted me dead you should have just said/ nothing makes me feel more alive” ooooooooooh i love that. I feel like a live or an acoustic version of this song would give me CHILLS. “Is it a wonder i broke / lets hear one more joke/ then we can all laugh until i cry” honestly so relatable, “i was tame, i was gentle til the circus life made me mean” oh :( that hurt bc it just reminds me of the vibe shift during midnights era/ eras tour where it *feels* like she started to pull back from being taylor swift and started to become Taylor Swift (™) and the way her fans/ media has treated her made her mean or cold or something and that just makes me feel sad. “Whos afraid of little old me? You caged me and then you called me crazy! I am what i am cause you trained me! SO. WHOS. AFRAID. OF ME? Again the narcotics line kinda makes me feel icky but thats bc i have that thing about drugs and just dont LOVE all the references to them. Like i know its not that serious but theres a reason why i dont seek out artists that typically talk or write about that stuff ya know so its weird. Overall i think the production is one of the most unique ones on this part of the album.

11. I can fix him (no really i can):

i hate it all around i think. I hate the narrative of “i can fix him!! I can handle a dangerous man!!! No really i can!!!” there is a reason why this song is barely 3 mins long lol it should have been cut but i think taylor wanted to Be Edgy. i dont care for the productions or the lyrics, its very forgetful imo.

12. Loml:

okay i really thought this was gonna be a joe song (rip) so i was thinking it was gonna be really deep and sad and like it IS but with the context of it being the pt 2 fling with matty it doesnt seem like it now. Anyone who thinks this is not about matty please look at the lyrics and be so serious “whos gonna stop us from waltzing back into reklndled flames/ if we know the steps anyway” I think matty just said too much shit to taylor during their fling and taylor WAS truly convinced this her invisible string and he promised her a lot that he couldnt upkeep and ghosted her and she took it SUPER hard, i mean two breakups in one year is a lot (me, whos never been through a single breakup once). I just dont understand how she feels like matty is the greatest loss of her life. One of my favorite tracks on the album, “our field of dreams engulfed in fire/ your arsons match your somber eyes” a LOT of these lyrics are actually really good imo. I think im the only one that didnt find the “mr. steal your girl and make her cry” line idk i thought it was actually kinda neat, the phrasing of it, kinda contradicts the title “love of my life” because he was never that serious or respectful of her and only use her from the beginning. This is another song that i think would make KILLER poem over song. Overall i think the piano is haunting and a live version of this will make me die, thank u again aaron dessner 10/10

13. I can do it with a broken heart:

ngl i thought this was the opening to mastermind for a hot second- also gave me a scare on whether or not this was a fake leak lol. Catchy ass chorus but very YOYOK. “Breaking down i hit the floor/ All the pieces of me shattered/ as the crowd was shouting “more!” ooffffffff seeeeee that is exactly WHAT i was afraid she was feeling durning the eras tour after the joe breakup/ matty situation and all these stupid twitter and tik tok swiffers were out here overanalyzing EVERYTHING and demanding rep tv like every other day. “Im so depressed i act like its my birthday” …….okay taylor. Like a lot of people have said, i think she interchanges “depressed” for “sad” a lot and the two are not the same. I think taylor wrote this song (but specifically the “i cry a lot time but i am so productive” and was like “yup this part is gonna go viral on tik tok,” initially i wrote “feels like taylor saw that depression barbie commercial in barbie 2023 and wrote a song based on that” lol which i still agree with. Overall the production of this screams midnights reject lol, very jack antonoff. Over time this song has grown on me a lot. Originally i didnt care for it but now its kind of a bop but i think its bc its so similar to YOYOK. “Try and come for my job” @taylorswift deadass you couldn’t think of anything else to say instead. cmon. I was mostly on board until that very last part, just seemed very cheesy lol like its not a big deal but i thought it delivered well without it.

14. The smallest man who ever lived:

(aaron thank u for saving me and this entire album) “they just ghosted you/ now you know what it feels like” OUCH. “i dont even want you back i just want you to know/ if rusting my sparkling was the goal/ and i dont miss what we had but can someone give/ a message to the smallest man who ever lived” oh this was somber af. I am obsessed with the phrasing of the chorus. I also LOVE taylors deeper voice its def giving me the same feelings MTR gave me from folklore, that made me CRY and this was very similar. This is another classic taylor song that i could EASILY write like a ten page essay about if someone put a gun to my head. I know that its about a *romantic* relationship, but it feels general enough to be able to relate to anyone who is close to someone with an addiction or struggles with substances. A lot of addicts dont understand the impact of their addiction or their behaviors that they display while struggling. To meeeeee, this feels very much like “you were self centered and betrayed my trust, was any of this true? Real? Am i paranoid or is this that deep?” “it wasnt sexy once it wasnt forbidden” has me thinking lots of things. I think that describes taylors “type”if that makes sense? Like i said i would need to literally break this song down line by line like its ridiculous i have too many thoughts about this song i have listened to it on repeat six times by the time im typing this. “In public showed me off/ then sank in stoned oblivion” FUCK. “you treat her like an also-ran” honestly i have never heard of that phrase/word thank u dr. swift. “Were you sent by someone who wanted me DEAD/ did you sleep with a GUN underneath OUR BED/ were you writing a BOOK?/ were you a sleeper cell SPY? IN 5O YEARS WILL THIS BE ALL DECLASSIFIED?/ AND YOU’LL CONFESS WHY YOU DID IT!/ AND ILL SAY GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” tears were formed besties. Also love the gracie abrams reference. “And you deserve prison but you wont get time” i feel like is very metaphorical like you DESERVE to be punished for what you did to me but you won’t admit to the guilt, you wont admit your wrongdoings, you wont admit that i would have done anything for you and you have no problem replacing me. “You said normal girls were boring/ but you were gone by the morning” first of all red flag girlie, nonetheless heartbreaking. “And in plain sight you hid/ but you are what you did” i say this with all the love in my heart, someone take taylor swift to a really good really private therapist. I could say more but i think i need to move on because i am now on my eighth cyle of listening to this song.

15. The alchemy:

already kinda hate it. “What if i told you im back/ the hospital was a drag/ worst sleep i ever had” do you think taylor swift has ever been admitted to a real hospital in this context. Feels very out of place and like i said earlier i dont love the psych ward visuals/ references she keeps inserting in this album. “He jokes its heroin but this time with an e” thanks! I fucking hate that line so much. Feels very icky, not funny. I get what shes going for but it falls so flat for me. The football references (yall know my opinion on meathead!!!!!!!! I will not engage!!!) are fucking dumb. Production is kinda lame and uninterested. Will only listen to this song if by force and will not repeat it ive head enough lets move on.

i have Lots Of Thoughts. i don’t think anyone cares about what i have to say though so i don’t think i’ll bother posting the rest lol but i did do a lot of work so ill post just a bit to make myself feel better.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

this is a little silly and i'm totally aware, but i luv ur blog and resonate with ur outlook on things so i'm really curious 2 hve ur input. i turned 18 in december+ i graduated high scool this weekend and so it's like the first time in my life where i am independently adjusting to a big transition. i missed soo much classes due 2 my brain being fucked and even tho i had friends i still feel rly weird and outsidery i guess. if u have any advice or idk anything i'm running out of space bye xx

thats wonderful news...congrats on gradding its really hard to get thru it 💟 i almost didnt grad cus i was barely present at school, resented every facet of it, the system didnt make sense to me like i just couldnt perform. i dint go to college or anything after highschool i knew it wasnt right for me plus i didnt want the debt. i knew i needed freedom to roam or st..

and tbh i was suuuuch a smart & intuitive child for that decision o.o like thank god thank goddd. i wouldve folded SO fast with state of my mental health back then. unless u r going into STEM idt school is worth it. Like school nevr made sense to me cus u can just be intellectual for free by acting curiously ?? Like u can just live and read books and stuff . . .

i guess my only real goal has ever been to make a lot of DOPE ass memories ~~ push every experience to full potential of beauty it is capable of 🤩 and that is a tad willful of me, so my arrogance has lead to many defeats but despite how painful its beeen.. im glad i did it this way, no ragrets ^^ its wonderful to be 30 now & look back at it all. following my intuition always worked out in the end..

When you're 18-24 i think all u should really be doing is like. chilling, recovering from highschool, smoking cigs, taking photos, listening to songs, reading, trying different clothes, playing outside, Soaking eveything up like a sponge, taking it *in*...taking it all in then thru trial & error figuring out what Really resonates !! and PPL will try to tell u its a waste of time, dont listen!!!! create stuff but dont put pressure on urself to be good at anything yet. dont feel pressure to like, have solidified into something permanent yet? ifthatmakes sense.. goof around a lot, dont limit yourself to any existing structures, be new & expansive, open minded.

And just chill :] look around at your world all the time and think "Wow. I'm 18 and i'll never be 18 again and life is beautiful." i still do this for every age i ever am i think its so imporant to do this. Always Know your older self is looking back upon you kindly no matter how irredeemably fucking fucked u feel <3 i can feel the love from my 40 and 50 and 60 year old self right now. get excited for your unfolding story anon ^-^ i hope its really uniquely perfect just for U and Ur dreams come true. Sincerely, ⭐⭐⭐PMD9⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[youremyheaven]

need some big sister advice because ive just gotten heartbroken 🫠🫠

i wouldn’t say i got played, because that’s not really the case, but i definitely did get hurt lol 🤣 the guy is two years older than me. sweet, charming, genuinely a gentleman. we were never really talking but there was always a weird tension between us, and sometimes he would do things that were not exactly friend things.

he’s older, and we’re at that age where the two years gap is fine but also has that “older guy” energy. he recently got a girlfriend. she’s so gorgeous, i won’t lie. genuinely has the nicest smile ever, and she’s everything i’m not? or i guess her background is a lot more similar to his than mine. they both come from really wealthy families— they’re both well traveled, well cultured, everything.

my grandparents are wealthy, maybe comparable to his family and hers. my parents are average to higher middle. never mind the context.

there were genuinely so many weird coincidences between us, from line-ups in our past, to other things like same birthmarks or conditions. maybe all this doesn’t matter though, does it? i think all this just contributed to me thinking there was something more between us.

idk i’m just hurt because there were so many things he did that were so sweet, and so nice, and he never really cared about other girls that way. it was all genuine too, and definitely more than friends things. right now im wondering if maybe he just saw me as someone to take care of? someone younger, more naive, and maybe he never actually liked me that way— but then there are other things that he did that were so not friends 😭😭 and even his friends and mine would sometimes ask if we had something going on

sometimes i wonder if the entire friend group was just in on this big joke or maybe im just looking at him with puppy eyes, even though im not that kind. ive been so adamantly against relationships, and this was the first time i actually wanted someone. ive always been so focused on school, internships, taking care of everyone, and then for once i wanted something for myself, and this happened.

im so academic, and i like taking care of people and doing things like knitting/crocheting/embroidery/cooking and all that stay at home things. you get the gist, im basically a homebody and introvert and i just like my own space and peace 😕😕 this girl parties, is always at the beach (me too but we are so different even in this manner because she’s the kind that takes pictures, dresses so well and i admire her so so much for it, while i go and pick up seashells and stare out at the beach 🤣🤣) and she’s just sooo extroverted, the life of the party with everyone, and so charming. and he’s quieter i guess, conventionally attractive, from a good household, a gentleman, stuff like that.

i never thougjt i would be the kind to compare myself to others but this is the first time ive ever felt this way and i just 😞😞

he’s really the nicest, and his girlfriend seems so sweet too, it was just sudden.

any advice? if youve ever been in this situation <33 i know its not really astro/fashion related but i don’t think i can even talk about this to my friends or anyone :c

babygirl 🥺

i understand what you're going through<3 this has to be one of the most difficult experiences in the romance arena tbh,, a guy who is extremely nice to you, gets your expectations up and then ends up dating someone who is the complete opposite of you 😭😭its a terrible feeling and its only natural that youd compare yourself to her,,

the best thing for you to do rn is to distance yourself from them. dont look at their socials, dont meet them often and get as far as u can from them.

its okay to wallow in it and it will take you some time to move on.

its impossible to understand where he was coming from or what his intentions with you were. you dont have to feel like you're silly for having believed that there was something between the two of you. he gave you "special" treatment and thats reason enough. whether or not he had romantic intentions is a different matter.

but the important fact rn is that he indeed has a girlfriend, which means its in ur best interest to avoid him and not contact him during this period so that you dont feel worse than you already do.

did he have feelings for you? was he just a reallyyyyy nice guy with no romantic intentions? was he just toying with you? these are questions that we can't really find answers to rn and no answer will ever really be satisfying enough.

immerse yourself in your hobbies, studies/work and keep yourself engaged. focus on yourself.

obviously an experience like this can take a toll on your self-esteem but these are experiences that will help us grow thick skin. our self worth should never depend on how others treat us. sounds easier said than done but you must always always always remember that how someone treats you is a reflection of their character more than it is of yours.

this can go both ways. if someone is extremely nice/kind/generous with you, it helps to maintain humility when you think its the goodness of their heart that makes them act like that, not you being "special" enough to receive it.

but if someone is mean/nasty/rude etc, thats also because of their character and the poison they carry in their heart. and has nothing to do with you as a person.

its important to build a firm core so that you're not swayed by generosity or broken by malice. you have to be self-content enough to see all things, both good and bad, as temporary. this does not mean you dont appreciate the good stuff or feel bad about poor treatment, you're human and you'll always have feelings but life is long, and you'll meet all kinds of people in life who will say and do all kinds of things, you shouldnt tie your self esteem to it, thats all.

think of these experiences as your immunization process, you're becoming more resilient and strong.

with men, unless and until, they explicitly say they want to take you out or date you or want you to be their gf, its 🚩🚩 and sometimes they even say all this AND play you 😭😭

i hope you have more peaceful days ahead of you and can forget this guy and focus on yourself<3

there are better men waiting for you who will give you the world and never make you second guess anything!! dont be too disheartened, pretend this is ep 4 of a romantic drama, things always get better by ep 16 😉💛💛

[fairyhaos]

hi yenaaa

so i saw that ur a huge joshua bias, and so am i, and ur random thoughts were open-

and i was wondering how would u feel abt sulky shua? like if he got a bit jealous and he was all sad and sulky and pouty

tbh it would be so cute to me like, in a bf/gf setting, maybe he saw u talking to someone and got jealous cus they were flirting w u a lil or u guys were laughing a lil too much

but it would be like if u noticed he was a bit off and asked him if he was okay and i feel like he wouldnt want u to know he was jealous </3 but u eventually figured it out and you would confront him and shower him with kisses cus he was so pouty and sad 😭😭😭

whats ur take on pouty/sulky shua tho??

(also sorry if it seems like a request, i swear its a random thought, i just talk a lot 😭)

POUTY AND SULKY SHUA AAAA

this man sulks over like . the smallest things i swear 💀 you didn't wanna give him a kiss good morning bc of morning breath? he's sulking. you didn't notice that he trimmed his hair like a millimeter for a photoshoot? he's sulking too. the weather isn't just perfectly serene for a spontaneous date where the two of you simply went on a walk and watched a movie? well guess what, he's sulking then as well.

jeonghan calls him petty and spoiled for it, but that's not true yoon jeonghan you wench he's allowed to be upset when he's not being showered with affection by you, isn't he?

in all honesty though, he's like this because he knows you find it adorable and don't mind at all. what can you say? when his eyes go all downcast and he starts speaking in that mumbly cute voice with the most adorable pout on his lips as his shoulders slump, he really looks like a dejected little puppy and you just wanna pat his head and coo and coddle him until he feels better

oddly tho he doesn't... sulk? over "big" things, like moments of jealousy, and instead he just goes into his shell because he Will get insecure and Will be reluctant to make a big deal out of it, but that's a whole different thought post to make, haha.

all in all, pouty shua is utterly adorable. especially when he's drunk. he'll be willing to do any form of aegyo at all when he's drunk.

(still with the pout on his face.)

fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @butiluvu @zozojella @kawennote09 @thedensworld @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt

[prettyboykatsuki]

fang can u explain bg3 to me bc i want to know more abt the gameplay.. also when you talk abt the sex scenes is there like.. an actually scene? :o 🙊

bg3 is a DND based turned based rpg!!!

the general gist is that you get kidnapped and someone puts a lil worm into your brain. a mindflayer parasite, which if not removed fast enough, will turn u into a mindflayer (evil squid creature)

u wake up on the ship basically have to go on a quest to find a way to get rid of ur brain parasite but it's weird bc the parasite isn't doing what it normally does.

the game itself is techincally turned based but in a way that it is a little different to other turn based games. it mostly adapts stuff from DND 5e with a few things ommitted or shifted for smoother play.

you get to choose a class and race, and each class and race have unique qualities. the actual gameplay has your character roll an automatic initiative and that determines the order you get to make moves in.

when its your turn, you have an action and a bonus action. what actions and bonus actions are available to u will change based on your class!! depending on your race and class also will be your weapon proficiency, how much movement you can make, and some other more minor things!!

it is sorted mostly as a spectrum from full magic to full meleee. spell casters have a limited amount of slots they can use to cast them but infinite uses on something called cantrips. full spellcasting classes can use melee weapons but typically lack proficiency in them lol

melee classes are straight forward!! they are attack classes. they normally have more skill with weapons of all kinds and do a lot of head on attacking

many classes are also a mix of these two and have subclasses that alter or change the of from being pure melee or pure magic. subclasses can get really technical so i wouldn't worry about them until you've played through the game once

the game allows you to respec or change these classes with a little in game coin - so if you find yourself not liking something, you are always welcome to go up to withers (an npc in game who stays at ur camp) and change as many times as you like

if you'd like some more in depth information about the gameplay specifics please let me know but this is the gist!! hope this helps you

EDIT: I REAIZE MY DWEEBING OUT MISSED UR QUESTION

yes there is sex scenes but theyre not SUPER explicit at least not all of them!! it depends on the character but tbh!! some of them are just alluding to sex where as some are very Horny. but like…it’s enough to make a whore like me blush so

[florallylly]

side a: eddie munson

side a

side b side b: steve harrington

explanation post

just going to go straight to my very very stream of consciousness commentary about each song but i want to clarify that i'm an eddie munson is dirty and gross truther and also i hate that rat man (endearing). so yes it might play into some of my thoughts

some songs are kind of vibe-y and you can tell when my explanations start getting contrived and bad but bear with me. i DO have some specific keystone songs idc KEYSTONE i love the word ok anyway

“I” Black Sabbath; eddie munson you are a LOSER with OPINIONS we get it. like yes you are so persecuted by everyone sure you’re going to prove us all wrong 

“Heaven and Hell” Black Sabbath; tbh added to match with heaven/hell in the other playlist, but somehow it’s kind of giving munson doctrine to me. literally googled and supposedly it’s about like band kids (??) but i think just like “the world is full of kings and queens/who blind your eyes and steal your dreams” i can literally hear eddie munson quoting it

“Fade to Black” Metallica; UGH why are there so many long periods of silence at the beginning and end of these songs. but just adding to the eddie munson i’m so outcast bad boy drug dealer thing and like. had to have metallica

“I Don’t Wanna Be Me” Type O Negative; idk if anyone can tell that i think eddie is a big dramatic loser who thinks he’s the main character (endearing?) like I AM RIGHT… 

“skins” The Haunting; okay this song is saur…. like normal people scare me i’m such a freak coded

“Nosferatu” Blue Oyster Cult; a nod to Eddie Munson being a BIG LOSER NERD. ugh whatever honestly parallels a lot of kas theory fic imo, like innocent maiden steve offering his blood to vampire eddie … why have i read it several times over. in my head, this is like. eddie munson having a dirty dirty loser fantasy about king steve 

“Teenage Dirtbag” Wheatus; need I say more………. 

“The Sun Always Shines on T.V.” a-ha; yeah… YEAH. it’s a steve song on here. i like tried to do this thing where on each playlist there are keystone songs and this is one of them. like, the song that’s in the other’s genre is the moment they fall in love even if they don’t realize it yet. but re: the song like it’s so eddie having this realization that when he was picturing king steve, he only saw him through snapshots and now that he’s live and an actual tangible human it’s different. like  LIKE

“18” Anarbor; tbh i am trying so hard to add some of these songs bc they are so quintessential to me and my connection of music to fandom, BUT IDK…. ITS HARD…. but yeah it’s very steve harrington would never really want to be with me, i’m such a bad boy. okay….  

“Poison” Alice Cooper; eddie munson ur horny . eddie munson we’re sworn enemies like ur a jock and i’m a nerd and like could i light my cigarette with ur cock please please 

“Falling In Love” Scorpions; “falling in love, it happens to me every day” okay eddie munson i did NOT see u doodling hearts around steve’s name in the fourth grade

“Around the Fur” Deftones; i do not know why but for some reason feeling like steve still hanging around his old crowd, and eddie getting all weird about it. IDK !! does it not just feel so eddie munson

“Closet” Fleshwater; an interlude-y song here kind of an angsty moment for eddie 

“I Was Made For Loving You” KISS; SECOND KEYSTONE SONG…. this song signals the first time they sleep together. i am so sorry eddie munson but this music actually DOES give me migraines but i tried very hard  

“Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away)” Deftones; eddie’s dreams about leaving hawkins and becoming famous. just in general his wishes to be somewhere he’s wanted and where he belongs. idk i feel like it’s eddie talking about all of these grand plans for his future and turning to steve and being like “and what about you?” and steve doesn’t have an answer.

“Covet” Basement; “you are everything/my most demanding dream” like like like eddie munson loving and hating that he’s in love with steve harrington who is hawkins to the bone and seems determined to die there. 

“Ghosts” Scarlet House; in my head this is eddie munson angsting after seeing steve hanging around nancy wheeler or robin buckley depending on when exactly we’re setting this. but it’s very woe is me i’m lost without you. idk it could literally even just be they fought and steve is at the grocery store chilling and eddie munson is literally frothing at the mouth sobbing in his van 

“Saturnine Saturnalia” VV; “there is no end to the hurting/i love you” saturnalia was a roman festival where they indulged in mischief and partying and whatnot. feeling like at this point, even if it’s fake, even if it ends up hurting me, i’ll take whatever i can get kind of feeling. maybe it’s like realizing he won’t be free of hawkins unless he lets go of steve or thinking that he’s just a stop on the way to a white picket fence. and i think that maybe this is the moment when eddie begins to realize how deeply he feels for steve.

“Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want” Deftones; PLEASE LET THE MAN GET WHAT HE WANTS !!! FOR ONCE !!! he is out here every single day dealing drugs PLEASE give him a sexy passenger princess to come with him on deals

“Black Butterflies and Deja Vu” The Maine; ik it’s a jump scare but KEYSTONE SONG…. the moment when they admit they’ve fallen in love. this is their aha moment. their AHA! moment not a-ha… but yeah…. eddie munson finally being like wait i’m in love with steve harrington and idk for how long but i’m in trouble

the future holds IDK ... just this part took me this long so PLEASE spare me i literally wrote this out on my notes app

[seaquestions]

i'm totally enamored with your FHL oc's! would you be willing to elaborate on the relationship chart dynamics btw emil and lucas (esp. emil's "totally oblivious to the fact that he contributed to lucas' destroyed self-esteem")? the implications are so devastating

eeheheee can i just say first of all this super made my day thank youuu im so happy u like my FHL ocs its my darling little pet project 💙💙💙 and yes yes im very willing to elaborate. bear in mind though that this isnt entirely concrete yet, i take kind of a vibes-first approach lol. tbh i like having the tension between emil and lucas stay within the realm of Devastating Implications in-canon but. you caught me. i cant resist talking abt my ocs :3

had to put a readmore cut here cos this got kinda long omg. also tw for mention of bullying & ed.

but yeah so emil and lucas… they had been playing hockey together since they were 10 basically. they’re childhood friends, besties by default, bonded over a shared love of hockey & also for being considered ‘weird’ kids yknow. but they’ve also hurt each other a lot in little ways that never went addressed cos emil is too non-confrontational to make a fuss and lucas is too proud to admit when something’s genuinely fucking with him. but for the most part, they were besties. it’s only when they both started taking hockey more seriously as a possible career option that like, the relationship started to turn sour. lucas used to be a forward actually. he was also subject to a lot of pretty awful comments about his body from his peers (and from adults in his life too lbr). and also, homophobic comments, stuff stemming from his closeness to emil. something that hurt was the fact that emil never stood up for him but, well, even then lucas was willing to overlook that cos its not like he ever really fought back himself. just brushed that shit off, laughed it off, yknow, never let them know that what they say actually hurts you. he didnt wanna like. punch anyone over the stuff they said. especially since he started to Really internalise it. mostly the fat-shaming. its not just shitty teenagers right? its everything. it’s hockey. and the homophobic stuff well… i mean did he have a crush on emil? kinda yeah. just part and parcel of the whole codependent besties thing.

and on emil’s end, he was mostly trying his best to be accepted by his peers (aka, masking 24/7 and going along with the awful shit they said to lucas. cos well, that shit’s normal right? lucas said he can take it anyway, he said it doesnt fuckin bother him so) and stand out with his skill in hockey. he was, notably, better than lucas, who at this point was still a forward. lucas didnt particularly. choose to be a goalie. at least not at first, he loves it now dw. but he loves it now in part because it isolated him a little bit. or at least just kept him in sort of, a separate category, in peoples minds. it kept him away from being compared to emil (even though really they shouldnt have. their skill sets and strengths were quite different. but yknow. they had put themselves together like that). and emil liked that too. he liked not having to compete with lucas over this, which is something lucas took more as emil not wanting to share the ice with him anymore. and it was also another example of lucas bending to external pressure with emil saying nothing against it, encouraging it even. it started to feel like emil didnt give a shit about him anymore—so lucas starts lashing out against him a little. calling him annoying and weird and loud and stupid and shit. the stuff that other ppl call emil that lucas never did. emil took That as lucas finally getting with the program. it hurt but. everybody said it. and he’s been saying the stuff everybody’s been saying about lucas too, and lucas said that shit doesnt bother him so it shouldnt bother emil either cos he has to be strong too and. this HAS to be okay. THIS HAS TO BE NORMAL.

but. yknow. it’s fine. theyre still best friends by default.

their friendship starts to really deteriorate when lucas starts forming unhealthy eating habits. or unhealthy lack of eating habits. frm my experience as a fat guy whos struggled w disordered eating ppl dont tend to notice it unless they see you actively suffer. in fact they might see it as a good thing esp if youre visibly losing weight. i imagine lucas woulda have it worse than i did bcos he also has the pressure of wanting to be a professional athlete and also way shitter peers than me. emil is already not the most perceptive guy and lucas is incredibly reticent so. yeah. kind of a wonder theyre still friends honestly but, yknow, theyve known each other this long. theyve loved each other this long. why wouldnt they still be friends, even after every little thing. this is the one that breaks it. this is the one time where emil not having his back Really fucks with lucas.

lucas’ new goalie coach is the one who lays it all out to him. he’s realising that oh, fuck, fucking fuck, he’s been such a shitty friend and so has emil. thats when he starts his recovery and part of that is also figuring out how to deal with his and emil’s failing friendship. lucas cant bring himself to blame emil at all. like its HIS lack of communication that led to this. he knows emil’s an oblivious guy, he’s always known that about him. so… fix it, right? just, communicate this time and things will be better. but lucas also just doesnt want to see him anymore. like. he just wants his life to change. he’s going to college, in a different city, he’s playing on a college hockey team while emil’s off in major junior league and like, he’s far enough away that he can just ignore emil’s calls most of the time and say he’s busy and get away with it and just let emil think the friendship is fading away organically and not bcos lucas straight up never wants to see him again because it would remind him of a time in his life he never wants to revisit. and meanwhile emil… emil just misses him. emil just misses lucas with all his heart and wonders why why why lucas doesn’t seem to like him as much anymore. i guess that’s just distance but like, EMIL doesn’t feel any less so??? is lucas making friends in college who are cooler, less annoying, better at hockey, better than emil? whatever man… by the time they get drafted by opposing teams, the bff-ship is pretty much dead but. well. emil will still text lucas congrats and happy birthday and sorry ur being sent down and hell yeah ur being sent up and. and lucas just says thanks. so yeah. that’s lucas and emil, at least at the start of the FHL storyline.

and yes….. they ARE using blake and conor respectively to replace their bestie…. :3 but its good for them actually. maybe by learning to be a good friend to this other guy they can eventually learn to be better friends with each other. emil in particular is out here walking on eggshells with conor who freaks out over every little thing and is like. umm. hey did lucas ever feel like how conor is feeling at the shit im saying to him cos. um.

anyway. who’s to say if the reconcile. certainly not me nuh-uh im just the vessel thru which these idiots speak their truth.

ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!! fun mini project to chip into every time i can catch a little break at work 👍👍👍

[dubacheryking]

It seems like you really like the IT book( it 1986), so do you remember Eddie Corcoran’s story from chapter 6. Because like his chapter is for real one of the most heartbreaking chapters in the whole book and he’s like so underrated for no reason. Soooo like what’s your opinions on him and other little interesting thing like that lol.

:)

oh my GOG tbh i think eddie corcoran's death is straight up the most horrifying part of the book. like if u put a gun to my head and said "what part of IT 86 do u find the most stomach churning" THATS IT RIGHT THERE. no one ever really talks abt it by 90% of the fandom on here is movie based and they dont FUCKING include it for some godawful reason (i can understand the 1990 ver not including it specifically for censorship reasons, since it was the 90s and also made for tv and ALSO cut to 3hrs lol) but like. the fact that it wasnt in the movies is criminal tbh.

but i digress.

as for opinions and such regarding the corcoran boy.... i mean, we get next to nothing abt him. what we know is a) his stepdad is an abusive piece of shit b) he had a younger brother that he seemingly cared about deeply (SOBS) c) his pos stepdad killed his baby brother (LIKE ACTUAL BABY. A 4YO???? FR????) d) his death was horrific. theres a little bit more but but but i havent reread that chapter recently so some of it is certainly escaping me. i wish there was more about him as an actual person, but i also understand that w the book already being a billion pages long there is only so much small details that could actually be included, and the history of derry and main story obvs will trump this specific smaller story--but like, fr, i want to know more abt eddie. we know he was terrified of the thing from the black lagoon (fair) and obvs holds a lot of fear and anger and guilt regarding dorsey's death, we know hes abused, we know how he dies. its a weird paradox of being very close to this character (in terms of his pov at the time, being in his head and all just like w any of the main losers) and being extremely removed (we know nothing abt his internal life beyond what his abuse brings out). which. frankly it's somewhat genius bc, yeah, abuse DOES tend to stifle the actual personality/interests of the person being abused and DOES like literally fuck w the brain chemistry and processessing of a child (source: happened to me lolololol), but its also heartbreaking that all we know him as is One of The Missing. he can never be more. its fucked.

soooo . this got away from me. sorry if it makes little to no sense ill just do a small bit on my thoughts summarized HERE:

i wholeheartedly agree that eddie corcoran's death is like. the worst part of the story. listening to it makes me legit sick to my stomach in a way NO OTHER PART OF THE BOOK DOES. LEGIT. and i think the main reason for that is while cosmic horror space clown spider thing is fake, duh, and more obviously used as a stand in for trauma and specifically for childhood trauma and the lasting effects that it has on our psyche, eddie's death is REAL. dorsey's death is REAL. we see, in grusome, up close detail, the actual consequences of abuse and how it destroys people's lives--specifically children's. we see how the complacency of those around such families (eddie's mom, the teachers, the principal, the town of derry at large) contributes to the horrific mistreatment of the most vulnerable, and how NONE OF THEM suffer any consequences for their lack of action. the section ends with eddie's mother getting access to his savings, which amount to less than 20$. to do so, she has to have him legally declared dead, EVEN THOUGH THEY DO NOT HAVE A BODY. AND THAT'S FUCKED. SHE DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO MAKE SURE HE'S FUCKING DEAD BEFORE SHE DOES THIS, DOESN'T WANT THE CLOSURE, DOESN'T WANT TO LAY HIM TO REST, DOESN'T WANT A PLACE TO VISIT. I CAN'T. like obviously we see themes of abuse and neglect in the whole book, that's the whole point, but eddie's story is different. there is no winning. there is no escape. you can't spin it into a better life.

he's a kid, just like any of the losers, but to the universe, he's not 'special,' so his death doesn't matter. he could have been swapped in with any of the other characters--fuck, he literally shares the name of one of them!! and yet he's not, and because of that, he doesn't matter. his death effects no one. the only positive is that it reopens dorsey's case, and even then, the reopening of his brother's death almost entirely sweeps eddie under the rug. the town of derry turns away, and when the truth of dorsey corcoran's death is revealed, the shrug, go so very sad, and wipe their hands of it. just another child death at the hands of an adult monster, just another day.

[wheeboo]

— bias tag game *ੈ✩‧₊˚

rules: you're going to pick 10 of your biases (or as many biases as you have and then fill in the rest of the spots with idols you like) and number them 1-10. then answer the questions below! try not to look at the questions before you make your list!

thank you @fairyhaos for the tag <3

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

rania's bias list:

seungkwan (svt)

wheein (mamamoo)

jeonghan (svt)

wonwoo (svt)

hoshi (svt)

jun (svt)

seulgi (red velvet)

yunjin (le sserafim)

soobin (txt)

lee know (skz)

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

1. between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

i biased my girl seulgi first :> i started stanning red velvet in between peek-a-boo and bad boy era and i literally love her sm i gay panic whenever i see her and she's so cute and quirky i fell in love instantly !!!

2. between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

umm,,, how dare u give me this question rn. wheein has been my ult for the past 5-6 years and i feel like i can declare us as a v chill married couple lmfao and i love her w all my heart. but tbh jun has grown so much on me and finally putting him in my bias line is just ugh <3 <3 got my heart flippin and feet kickin (it doesn't help i have like,, a lot of ideas for him in terms of wips)

3. if you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

again... what the hell U R MAKING ME CHOOSE BETWEEN MY TOP BIASES IN SVT?? absolute insanity. ugh,, okay jeonghan ily babe but i gotta go with my fav boy seungkwan <3 i feel like he'll take me out of my comfort zone n just take me out to places n just be the most supportive person ever. like i can imagine our arms locked together while walking down the avenue or sum idfk

4. what is your favorite physical feature about 9?

his MF DIMPLES OFC. i have such a thing w dimples on my biases its actually so funny

5. what is your favorite part of 6's personality?

i just,, i love jun's quirkiness and awkwardness sometimes i always swoon over him <3 he may be quiet at times but he's such a big source of strength for not just me but for all his members. i get why they all love him sm

6. if you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them?

my gf yunjin KEEP BEING YOU MA'AM. do whatever you want that makes you happy. you're such a big inspo to me and so funny and talented and beautiful and all those synonyms i cannot grasp how much i love her

7. between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

ohhhhh definitely wheein. our styles r very similar and honestly she's the reason why my style is like this to this day!! she has such unique fashion taste and omfg i'd love to raid clothing stores w her. altho i'd rlly love to steal some of seungkwan's sweaters,,,,...

8. what is a style that you want to see 3 try?

omfgomfg uhhh honestly jeonghan can literally pull off any damn style he wants, and im too scatterbrained rn to think of a specific style. i love his soft boy looks tho n the style/clothing he wore in berlin got me feeling some type of way yk IT SUITS HIM SO MUCH

9. between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

hoshi LMAOO even tho there's barely a difference between him and wonu. they'll both still tower over me tho im only like 158cm fml

10. between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

soobin n txt! i love their discography so much. some of skz songs r just not my style and i can rlly only listen to them when i'm feeling that kind of energy yk. still love them tho ofc

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

tagging (no pressure!): @slytherinshua @itadorins @hannyoontify @wqnwoos @icyminghao @etherealyoungk @blue-jisungs @mirxzii @yeonjuns-redhair @rubywonu @ylliris-hanniehae @rubyreduji @toruro @weird-bookworm @planetkiimchi

[xx0yeet-everything0xx]

OK SO :D

listen man. listen. jason and reyna have the potential for the most interesting dynamic in the entire rrverse and i stand by that ok. like imagine. two people who were best friends are suddenly torn apart and when they reunite through no fault of either of them one cares a lot more than the other now. losing jason was the worst thing reyna ever felt and then he came home and looked her dead in the eyes and treated her like a stranger. god i am so unwell about them anyway. im mad that this never gets explored in canon it has so much potential. the fucking tragedy of it all. they avoid each other now because one will inevitably end up saying something a little too familiar and its miserably awkward for just. everyone tbh. they cared so deeply for each other amd then it was just gone. she spent months searching for him overworked and unable to even grieve properly and he just didnt care anymore. its unclear how much memory he got back but its obviously not as clear as percy’s and thats so interestingg?? knowing you cared for this place, for this person, so much it was a part of you, and just. having no emotional attachment to it anymore. not knowing how to get back to that even if you want to. oughhhh. not knowing how to tell them the person they knew is dead or at least unrecognizable. if you take every moment and memory that makes up a person away and put newones in their place is it still the same person? she loved him more than anything. he doesnt know how to be the person she loved anymore. he doesnt know if he wants to. he avoids her, and she lets him, because really what is there to say? she still cares. he doesn’t. i dont even know how to articulate this okay just. they were best friends. and now everything has changed. and how do you cope with that. what do you do, when your best friend looks you in the eyes and treats you like a stranger? what do you do, looking a stranger in the eyes and knowing she was your best friend?

and nobody ever talks about their relationship??? like they either get ignored or treated like weird exes which is just so not what this is. anyway the implication that reyna had a crush on him was stupid thats called *amatonormativity* reyna is arocoded thank you goodnight. i am so utterly deranged about them <3

OMG ANON THANK YOU FOR THIS but literally ikr?? their entire relationship (not in a couple-y way) is just so complex and ends so tragically and it’s like. ughhhhh it literally drives me crazy to think about it and it’s so UNFAIR for both of them because reyna has to look at jason and see someone looking back with a strangers eyes and it’s like. hes there. but he’s NOT because he’s so different and then for jason he can see her but he can’t feel the emotional attachment that SHOULD be there he only knows that he once had it and instead it’s this empty feeling and. the worst part is that they never got to confront the situation with each other!! jason got back to new rome and when he left almost instantly they’d barely exchanged any words with each other so like. the most either can do is soo many presumptions and MAYBE time could’ve fixed it. maybe they could’ve one day talked it out; but god fucking damn it because they didn’t have time and the next time she got to properly see him he was in a coffin. it’s so tragic it really really HURTS and I can’t explain how it feels but u get it aishsjbsksmsksns

and no frrr reducing them to exes of any sort is just soo annoying because it’s completely taking away EVERYTHING abt their dynamic and just as you said all that’s very much linked to amatonormativity. WOW sorry for the rant here but yes im also very very deranged abt three <3

ty for this tho, anon! <333

[supermaks]

I wanna hear all of ur thoughts on 3344!!! Please tell us everything!!!! my only addition is that that copse crash changed the trajectory of their lives immediately like they could be fighting for p15 and would be all up in each others business. there is a special kind of distrust and contempt and anger for the other that no one else recives bc they reserve it all for each other and this is why they’re best f1 rivalry of all time 😋 sorry alain

omfg yes lets go a lil crazy🌷🌷🌷🌷

My 4433/441 thoughts are always all over the place like I truly havent been able to pin them down since l started watching f1 because these 2 are both like super weird in very different ways and they have zero bridges u can cross between them except for this unreal fucking level of on sight hating that makes a rivalry soooo good u feel it in ur tummy

When I tell u in Austria the moment I heard Lewis impeded Max I knew the baddie was gonna unleash the wrath of an old testament god upon this incredibly inconsequential fl0p vehicle number 44 like. Sorry to the haters and losers but its very funny to ME 😭😭 Inspector Hamilton didnt even make much noise about this which is even funnier because either he knows he'll catch a stray for impeding first or he just cannot handle Max and his Raytheon hamilton sensors anymore like he's tired and his own tp is telling him to shut up like leave him alone. ((I doubt its the last we'll hear of it tho))

And yes 2021 like u said prolly changed the trajectory of their lives forever not just copse but like monza, brazil, Jeddah. Whats so fascinating about Max and Lewis is that for such enormously talented drivers they simply cannot let each other race normal. They leave each other more space and will still fumble because they want to pass so bad. As u put it, its distrust, but its also just racing. Its the purest form of racing there is lmfao these are both karting prodigies and they still revert back to that when they race each other. I said this once they're like 2 maddies from euphoria in 1 show. But this whole dynamic of uneasiness between them started way before 2021 tbh.

Even when Max was a teenager wid a cap and a dream and the rawest dawg inside that literally bit people and Lewis was settling back into the record books wid a glass of wine and an established, tamed dawg, he still made a point not to rate Max ever. Max was taboo. Didnt even call him by name sometimes like to his face literally called him 'guy' which is such an Hamilton ass old school way of acknowledging an Opp like look at this

F1 drivers are so insane. Anyway I think Max still feels some type of way about all that. A job will have u 19 years old getting bullied by a 33 year old that refuses to say ur name. Max pissed everybody off those days. He just wanted to do the lil debrief and the old heads truly did not give a fuck they were so mean to him. Lewis went thru a divorce too so this was all wrong person wrong place wrong time wrong car wrong team wrong wrong wrong. All wrong.

They were doomed from the start like they were set on a collision course since Max was born that was as inevitable as he is. And the noise around them has always been too loud. But they do try which I find very charming and kind of sad. Like one thing about Max and Lewis they're gonna have a lil giggle together about something dumb and that hasn’t changed

((I am convinced whatvr lewis showed him on his phone here was like deeply illegal))

((this presser is soooo like at some point Lewis leans over and whispers that theres a lot of girls there for the weekend and Max is like umm and Lewis is like oh u have a girlfriend right ew 🙄))

🫠🌷this was so cute pls

They share sm history together in the one thing that matters the most to both of them which is racing. Like the way Abu Dhabi happened bro, all that led to it, the amount of new eyeballs on the sport just thru sheer force of narrative and hubris. They built that together. Nobody else cud have done it. Like they share thirty five 1-2s in F1. 35 times one of them was first and the other was second. I think 3 more times on the podium and they break a record for most podiums shared oat. Thats not unimportant it’s not meaningless especially not to these 2 in particular. They’re special. They’re both so special and mercurial and they save the worst parts of themselves. the best part of themselves. to each other . Everybody else takes scraps. The spray aligns

Yeah. Like yk. the spray aligns

[frenchiefreyed]

TBHK Favorite Character Tier List

hello i did a TBHK favorite character tier list and I will explain the stuff i feel like explaining / might be interesting or relevant to know

oh and each section is, left to right, the characters i like most to least, but these change and shift with pretty much every chapter we see them in so ashdasndn

tsuchigomori is my favorite character and i like him more than hanako and nene, but i like hanako and nene more than i like the other characters in the S tier which is why the formatting is u know

"s but" is basically i think the characters are s tier / i enjoy them enough for them to be s tier but they've done things that bother me and i feel a bit morally weird not acknowledging that when i say that i like them (in virtually any context) -- ig it's kinda funny to say this while tsukasa is fully in S tier and not "s but" but we dont need to acknowledge that

(i am opposed to a lot of what tsukasa has done but i kinda forgor about that so u can pretend he's in s but if u want)

i think most of the reason i like lemon is related to my fren really liking lemon bc i think otherwise id just be like thats a guy but aesthetically he's cool and stuff i hope he's not the secret biggest evil villain of the manga/show or smthn ashdsnadn

i hated teru passionately for most of the manga and its only in the last like maybe 15-20? chapters we've had that i've started to like him more and think he was silly. i wish that he would not hate supernaturals so much but he kinda grew up being forced to and stuff. i am sure with enough time he will learn that supernaturals can be nice... they wouldn't have him be so silly if he wasn't supposed to learn stuff right????

RIGHT??

tsukasa is silly and the lore stuff is pretty cool, i think it is neat that he is a villain that u r kinda supposed to sorta? ? be sympathetic towards but also is very obviously not doing great things. tbh i think that's most characters in the whole manga and some of them are treated way less like villains so i dont think tsukasa is that morally bad by comparison adhasndsad

kou is kou he's based and stuff and he seems to respect ppls boundaries and things , but we've been seeing more of his flaws lately which is interesting and cool, uhhh yeah i dont have much to say about him tbh

black canyon is cute. sue me

i also hated natsuhiko for like most of the series but i've started to like him recently because he's silly and even tho he's a bit weird about sakura sometimes he actually like. respects her boundaries as far as i can tell. very different to akane who is just weird

mitsuba is good, i do kinda want to know more about his intentions/the extent of bad he could potentially do, but for now i think A is an ok spot for him

i think the tier list maker thought that the baby twin was tsukasa but it is actually amane so this ranking is amane. amane babby is in a tier, uhhh he seemed pretty based and cool, it is sad that he dieded

i am scared that sakura is like very very evil so i dont rlly want to put her higher than an A but vibe wise she's pretty cool . it's weird that she seems to have set a lot of this in motion.

the mokke are prooooooooooooobably overrated i think they are cute but i dont super super duper love them or anything

i like yokoo a bit more than satou but they are both cool together, i think i would like them both less when they are separated from one another because i think most of what i like is their dynamic

the guy obsessed with civets is funny

tiara is funny and i like her and want to see more about her but we havent seen enough of her for me to be like WOWOWOWOWOW u know???

the entire arc with shijima and the fake world and stuff was crazy and i think i have trauma from that so maybe if we see substantially more of shijima i'll be able to stop associating her with that thing i super hate but as a character she doesnt seem horrible or anything

i used to like aoi a lot more but im getting the feeling she's super evil and alt-universe aoi hitting teru and belittling him was crazy i cant look at her the same after that i think

skipping ahead to yako uhhhh her design and vibed r cool i guess but the teacher thing is rlllllllllllllly weird. its cool that she seems to be kinda friends with tsuchigomori tho but she better not start bein super weird to him or smthn (especially cause he's a teacher.) i think i would die

skipping to ewww i hate them section; this is in order of most hated to least hated. hakubo. i hate him and THE SCENE was gross. actually pretty much all scenes with him and sumire are gross if not all

if nothing regarding aoi existed as part of akane's character he would probably be B or even A tier but he's so weird about aoi and it makes me very uncomfortable. also the thing where he was weird to nene. the only thing that salvages him at all is his dynamic with teru which is why i support shipping them. i originally started shipping them bc teru and akane were my most hated / "these are the most gross/evil" characters and i was making silly jokes about them getting together so that aoi and all the supernaturals would be left alone ashsandsdna but then i actually started bein like hey wait a minute anyway, in any context other than terukane, i am a severe akane hater

the other ones i dont rlly care enough to like explain my thoughts on them ashdsandndsa they are not passionate emotions, at least compared to hakubo and akane

s'yeah

[1800duckhotline]

what is vampire the masquerade and whats killer is dead. i assume videod games but i could be wrong... you seem to be having soo much fun im nosaayy 😁

omg hi mani im so flattered u would ask!! yeah ive been in the throes of videogames lately AHAH... oc brained but videogame about it sort of...

vampire the masquerade is actually a ttrpg originally published in the 80s i think, but it keeps getting updated so its not like. anything super old... whenever i mention "vampire the masquerade: bloodlines" im talking about the 2004 videogame created based off of the ttrpg! im biased in loving vtm and vtmb since well. it's about vampires. but i think it's an unique take on them that like makes the supernatural aspect not too boring compared to the classic supernatural vampire take. since it involves clans, a lot of vampire politics and societal aspects to it all, etc... Bloodlines itself is not a perfect game (ill avoid geeking out too much about the brief dev hell history it had) but i value it so dearly bc its so 2004 and is so gothic/alternative in its genuine influence. also the story is goofy but really good too (with um, simultaneously, the con that It Is a 2004 Game, meaning it has a lot of weird bigotries that were normalized for the time lol). Unforchy it's almost unplayable without downloading an additional patch mod that restores also a lot of cut content ^_^ but you make do... its so easy to make ocs for the game and the general ttrpg, sooo many ways you can go with your characters!! Bloodlines itself as a game is an action/adventure RPG mostly focused on combat (with stuff like stealth sessions) as well as various ways to resolve different quests. the variety of said outcomes is mostly limited by the fact the studio wasn't able to polish the game at all for release due to activision, the publisher, pushing troika games (dev team) to release the game early to compete with half life 2 at the time (yeah crazy i know). that said, the dialogues can be really charming and fun and offer a nice variety of things to do.. its not perfect but seriously is the best vampire RPG game around so far..

killer is dead is completely different (mostly because i can never focus on one thing for too long lmfao), it's an hack and slash 2014 game created by suda51 and grasshopper manufacture (same game devs behind no more heroes, lollipop chainsaw, shadows of the damned etc) and it's. an okay game. i dont even know if i can explain the story bc its like, a clusterfuck. and usually clusterfuck stories are goichi suda's specialty but this one goes over the moon (funny joke if You Know). it's a pretty mid game. I love it on one hand bc its easy to play and very stylish, tho the shaders sometimes can give you an headache. I also love the protagonist (mondo zappa) because to me thats a butch not just some guy. Unfortunately the game has the very strong cons of being too short for the kind of game it is, and also has an infamously bizarre minigame that's called "gigolo missions"... you basically go on "dates" with beauties (sexy girls basically), you give them gifts until they 'love' you and then you go have sex and they give you weapon upgrades as a result. the date though consists of you building up your "guts meter" by looking at their boobs or legs so it's like. REALLY STRANGE. CANT HASHTAG IM SORRY FEMINISM OUT OF THIS ONE I'M AFRAID.... it's so conflicting bc apparently suda didn't want to add this function but publishers forced him to. oh well. a solid 6.5/10 tbh. idk if i'd reccomend it tho maybe gameplays are better than getting it at full price imo (i got my game as a gift)

UM SO SORRY FOR GEEKING OUT...I HOPE THE EXPLANATION WAS CLEAR. My brain keeps jumping from media to media with no pause... i wanna focus on ocs again but this keeps happening hahaha

[blonde-tori-spring555]

sexuality advice

something that helped me was trying not to define my attraction. at first, what that looked like it just saying, “okay. im bi.” as if i had always been bi. then i started looking at my attraction as if i had always been bi. if i had always been bi, would i have said i had a crush on this girl? if bring bi was the norm, would i think i were attracted to her?

later down the road, it was saying i was unlabelled. it took me a while to get there because i spent so much time thinking about my sexuality, but when i did it was extremely freeing. i could just say that i liked everyone in a different way and not worry about gender.

so i guess what im saying here, is try out the aueer labels. maybe not to your friends, maybe just to yourself, but try them out and see if they make sense. after all, youve been trying out straight for a long time.

also, stupid thing but something that helped me A LOT: make a self insert character. what is your immediate impulse to give them for sexuality?

you can say youre straight and like women. you can say youre bi and mainly be attracted to men. you can say youre queer and not put a label on it. you could look for microlabels that fit. but realistically, its up to you to decide what you want to call it.

and, just for the record? straight people usually don’t question that much. not saying you are bi, but your feelings are valid.

sorry if this was too much but this is what helped me, i dont know if it will help you personally

if you want to talk more about it though im always here <333

tysm x

the bs thing is i was kinda hinting to my mum like we were talking about heartstopper (she knows i like the show and books and STRAIGHT PEOPLE CAN LIKE IT, thats what heartstopper is about, being inclusive) anyway my mum isnt homophobic she just doesnt rlly get it anyway she says like "people cant know what they rlly r until theyre like 18+" so i ranted to her about how anyone could change at anytime and my lil hint was "im straight now but in a few years time i might realise im bi" and that shut her up

but i might give this a go, it just scared me idk why, like its not like i look at girls a go, ooo i would date her, but i look at boys like, oo i would date him, so i think if lets say i am bi, i would def be more attracted to men, but like sometime my stupid little brain says 'ur just saying it because its 'easier" or 'u dont mean it, ur just saying it for attention' like i just hate it, like ive not rlly had a 'awakening' but like sometimes bi sounds right while other times straight does

but i might do what u say and try our 'being bi' for a bit and see how i feel

it sounds weird but i feel like i need to have this awakening and like i need to see a girl and think ooo i have a crush, like i do with boys

idk its weird

and ik what u mean by straight people dont question it that much, and ik what ur saying because that fact scares me to mf shits, but tbh i only think about it when that area of things r brought into my head yk?

anyway sorry for ranting

[bmpmp3]

speaking of internet horror its interesting seeing the different communities and formats that have gone in and out of vogue

like its probably obvious from my age and the everything about me that i grew up with primarily text and image based creepypastas (although some were more multimedia with videos or even ARG elements) when i was in elementary and middle school, and that i was huge into nosleep (which tend to be almost exclusively text, although one of two might've had a picture accompanying it, and I still think that one that about the pop song where they had a little clip of it was pretty fun LOL ~but he took your~ [synth riff] still gets stuck in my head sometimes) from highschool to......to be honest until reddit imploded this year o7

ive been mostly in the forum-y blog-y text heavy horror unfiction sphere, but there was also the early youtube horror webserieses, they often went a little into ARG elements too (which i personally have never been a fan of I think just because im too lazy to decode all these things LOL) but that shifted into our more modern analog horror videos we got now

im not super familiar with the analog horror and webseries stuff tbh, i love movies and short films but i have trouble watching shows and serialized videos nowadays LOL BUT i do really like those laceygames videos, and all the things inspired by it: like these little animations about some made-up flash game thats scary or weird SO GOOD so awesome those are fun

although sometimes the animation videos of made-up video games.....sometimes i wish it was a real thing hJKHJFDS petscop was interesting and this is absolutely not what i should have taken from it but it did make me want a puzzle game where i befriend weird pets HJFKDSLHFJDJN no fault of its own i just like weird old simulation puzzle games

right now it feels like things are a little more on the multimedia video end of things in terms of popularity, but webpage and text/image based stuff will always be around doing god knows <3 does anyone remember that one webtoon. like the really early webtoon like lowercase w webtoon korean webcomic. the one that jumpscares you. bongcheon dong ghost <3 <3 <3 still too scared to reread it <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

im busy ignoring my school assignments rn so thats why im aimlessly typing about internet horror but as someone who does prefer reading stuff on the internet over video i would love to see more text and image based horror communities pop up again a la creepypasta wikis and nosleep (which is still alive its just you know. hard to use reddit without my beloved RIF ;-; rest in peace rif is fun you beautiful beautiful app), i think theres still lots u can do with the wonderful static text and image. the beautiful animation and video-less webpage. i dunno i think the future of internet horror is bright and interesting!! there is a world out there to be scary <3